#just make her bribe u with coffee

[driverlando]

✧.* #BABYVERSTAPPEN

synopsis: Max accidentally leaks the news of your pregnancy during an interview and he breaks the internet

before you continue- I loveee this # series so much!! if you enjoy then pls reblog and follow :)

✧.* the interview

—

—

✧.* Y/N’s reaction

You hear the front door creak open, and your heart skips a beat. Glancing up from your phone, you see Max walk in with a cautious smile, holding a tub of your favourite ice cream like a peace offering. The house feels unusually quiet, a stark contrast to the bustling energy you’re used to when Max comes home.

“Hey, love,” Max says, trying to sound cheerful despite the tension in the air. “I brought your favourite ice cream.”

You look at him, your eyes narrowing slightly. “Oh, so now you’re trying to bribe me with ice cream?”

Max winces at your tone, setting the ice cream down on the coffee table. “I thought it might help smooth things over.”

You sigh, putting your phone aside. “Max, do you have any idea how many messages I’ve gotten today? Everyone knows now. Everyone.”

“I know, and I’m really sorry,” Max replies earnestly, stepping closer to you. “It just slipped out. I was excited, and I didn’t think—”

“That’s the problem, Max. You didn’t think,” you cut in, crossing your arms and stepping back from him. “This was supposed to be our special moment. Our announcement.”

Max reaches out for your hand, his expression pleading. You pull away, your disappointment palpable.

“You’re in the dog house tonight, Verstappen.”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t be like that,” Max urges, his eyes reflecting genuine regret. “I know I messed up, but I didn’t mean to. I just couldn’t help talking about how happy I am.”

Your resolve wavers for a moment, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. “It’s not just about the announcement, Max. It’s about our privacy, our moment. You know how much this meant to me.”

“I do,” Max murmurs softly. “And I’ll make it up to you. I promise.���

You shake your head, though your expression softens just a bit. “You better. But tonight, you’re sleeping on the sofa.”

Max nods solemnly, accepting his fate. “Alright, the sofa it is. But can we at least share the ice cream?”

You hesitate, then roll your eyes in resignation. “Fine. But just the ice cream. You’re still in trouble.”

Max smiles gratefully, relieved that you’re willing to share even this small moment with him. He retrieves two spoons from the kitchen and settles on the sofa beside you, careful to maintain a respectful distance, the mood swings were strong today. You sit together in silence, eating the ice cream slowly, each lost in your own thoughts.

As you near the bottom of the tub, Max suddenly has an idea. “Hey, Y/N?”

You look at him, a spoonful of ice cream paused halfway to your mouth. “What?”

“I know I ruined our announcement, and I feel terrible about it,” Max begins earnestly. “But how about this—you can be the one to announce the sex of the baby. However you want, whenever you want. It’s your moment.”

Your gaze softens as you consider his suggestion. “I like that idea. But you’re still sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

Max chuckles softly. “Fair enough. But at least we’re getting somewhere, right?”

You lean in and kiss his cheek gently. “Yeah, we are. Thanks, Max. This means a lot to me.”

—

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend, landonorris and 1,357,147 others

yourusername guess the secrets out! (thanks max) baby verstappen we can’t wait to meet you 💘

tagged: @/maxverstappen1

view all 23,527 comments

yourbestfriend congrats!! so happy for the two of you ❤️

↳ yourbestfriend can’t wait to spoil her

↳ yourusername thank you darling! 💘

user1 hey, atleast max let you announce the sex 😂

user2 congratulations!! you’re going to be the best parents 🥳

maxverstappen1 so excited ❤️

user3 is max in the dog house? 😂

↳ yourusername yep.

—

—

✧.* the boys reactions

— Formula One Star Max Verstappen Accidentally Reveals Wife Y/N Y/L/N’s Pregnancy During Interview

By: Sasha, Rumour Radar

In a hilariously unexpected turn of events, Formula One champion Max Verstappen has found himself at the centre of a viral moment after inadvertently revealing his wife Y/N Y/L/N’s pregnancy during a live interview. The impromptu announcement has taken the motorsport and influencer communities by storm, and Y/N later added her own delightful twist to the news.

The Accidental Reveal

The incident unfolded during a press conference following Verstappen’s practice session. When asked about his expectations and what he was looking forward to in the new season, Verstappen, with his characteristic charm and ease, responded, “And for the baby to come too, the next season’s going to be busy.” The interviewer, catching the slip, pressed further, “Did you say baby?”

Max, realising his gaffe, was momentarily speechless. His face turned a shade of crimson as he stammered, “Uh, I mean…uh, no? Y/N is going to kill me.” This candid and unscripted moment sent ripples of excitement through the audience and quickly became the talk of the paddock.

Social Media Explosion

As soon as the clip aired, social media ignited. Fans, fellow racers, and celebrities alike flooded platforms like Twitter and Instagram with reactions, congratulations, and plenty of memes. The hashtag #VerstappenBaby soared to the top of the trending lists, making it clear that the news had captured everyone’s attention.

Fans and media outlets were abuzz with the news. In a move that was as swift as it was sweet, Y/N took to Instagram to confirm the delightful news. She posted a picture of a cake with pink filling and an ultrasound picture, accompanied by the caption, “Guess the secret’s out! (Thanks Max) Baby Verstappen, we can’t wait to meet you 💘.”

Max’s unintentional reveal and Y/N’s charming confirmation on social media endeared the couple even more to their legion of fans. Verstappen, known for his fierce competitiveness and composed demeanour on the track, showed a softer, more relatable side that resonated with many. His initial reaction, followed by Y/N’s sweet Instagram post, painted a picture of a couple who are navigating the journey to parenthood with humour and grace.

Messages of support

The Verstappen household, already bustling with the excitement of the F1 season, is now set for even more joy with the impending arrival of their baby girl. The couple, who have been private about their journey to parenthood, seemed to embrace the unexpected reveal with good humour. Max later took to social media, joking, “Lesson learnt! Next time, I'll leave the announcements to Y/N.”

As the F1 season progresses, Max Verstappen will have more than just his racing commitments to look forward to. The prospect of becoming a father has added a new dimension to his life, bringing a balance between his high-octane career and his personal life. This blend of professional and personal excitement has further endeared him to fans who now feel even more connected to his journey.

Despite the unplanned nature of the announcement, Max and Y/N have embraced the outpouring of support. A close friend of the couple shared, “Max and Y/N are over the moon about the baby. It wasn’t how they planned to share the news, but they’re thrilled with the love and support they’ve received and now laugh over the accidental reveal.”

Max’s teammates and rivals have also expressed their congratulations. Lewis Hamilton, Verstappen’s long-time competitor, commented on Y/N’s post, “Huge congrats to both of you! You’ll be the best parents!” Daniel Ricciardo, known for his playful camaraderie with Verstappen, added, “Can’t wait to meet Baby Verstappen! She’s going to be a little racer for sure.”

The new season

The unplanned revelation has certainly added a fresh layer of excitement to the season. Media outlets have been buzzing with speculation about how the impending fatherhood will impact Verstappen’s performance on the track. Analysts suggest that the new family milestone might provide him with an extra boost of motivation and focus.

For now, the spotlight remains on the happy news of Baby Verstappen. The couple’s playful and endearing approach to this new chapter in their lives has won them even more admiration and affection from their fans. As the countdown to their baby girl’s arrival begins, Max and Y/N are set to experience a whirlwind of emotions, balancing the thrills of Formula 1 with the joys of parenthood.

In the grandstands, on social media, and in the hearts of their supporters, Max and Y/N Verstappen are celebrated not just as a racing power couple but also as soon-to-be parents. The racing world waits with bated breath for more updates, eagerly anticipating the arrival of the newest member of the Verstappen family.

Stay tuned to Rumour Radar for the latest updates on this unfolding story and more celebrity gossip.

—

[elsbunny]

— the elevator doesn’t even work! this gotta be the hidden hell… — you picked up some of your stuff and faced the stairs

after getting everything together in your new dorm, you started unpacking. still oblivious to your surroundings

— wanna hear a fun fact about stairs? — chaeryeong hold onto their food as they go upstairs

— not really — ryujin looked over her shoulder — about the game though. i’m telling you, I’m just one level away from unlocking the ultimate weapon!

— ryujin, your obsession with fictional weaponry is both alarming and detrimental to your social development — chaeryeong sighed annoyed

— fun fact about stairs, i am about to push you down one — ryujin stopped walking as she heard a girl laughing — new neighbor?

they both stood in front of your door looking at you unboxing your stuff, while some pop song played in the background

— evidently — chaeryeong said without care

— significant improvement over the old neighbor — ryujin eyed you carefully, taking a good look at your delicate figure

— smelly boy with a skin condition? yes she is — chaeryeong looked at ryujin, expecting her to move to their apartment

— oh, hi! — you said bubbly, finally noticing the two girls who stood like statues

— hi! — ryujin replied nervously

— hi. — chaeryeong waved at you quickly

— hi! — ryujin said it again, kinda lost in your sight

— hi? — chaeryeong just followed her friend again

— hi… — you gave a confused look

— sorry! we… we didn’t mean to interrupt, we live across the hall — ryujin pointed at the door behind her

— oh, that’s nice! — you smiled at them, making them understand that you thought they were girlfriends

— oh, no! we don’t live together… i mean we live together but in separate platonic bedrooms — ryujin eyes were wide open

— guess im your new neighbor, y/n! — you walk into them

— ryujin, and she’s chaeryeong — ryujin smelled your perfume and she sweared she could die in peace

- hi!

— hi…

— hi?

— hi. — ryujin pinched chaeryeong, hoping that she could read the room and stay quiet — oh, well welcome to the building!

— thank you! maybe we can grab a coffee someday — you smiled, friendly — um, i got to finish this — you pointed at the boxes

— sure yeah… yeah bye — ryujin waved

— bye. — chaeryeong was already crossing the hall

— bye — you waved back

— bye — ryujin anxiously said it again, immediately regretting it and running to her apartment

— what’s the purpose of this offering? — chaeryeong questioned the coffee offer as they sat on the couch— is she attempting to bribe us for something?

— no, she was just being nice i guess — ryujin brushed her off — we could ask her to play where’s waldo with us

— the girl couldn't even find her bra this morning, don't be silly

the big bang theory —> intro

notes: please tell me if you guys want me to make a tag list and lmk if f u are liking the smau!! love uuu

y/n’s group > ryujin’s group > next

[gingerjolover]

omggg well since u asked for holiday requests: soft!gf and julien ice skating together?? and one of them (dealer’s choice) is super nervous / has never done it before but the other’s a natural. maybe the boys and muna are there, maybe they aren’t, up to u. love ur work mama g 🫶🏽

okay wait soft!gf gives me lowkey figure skater vibes... maybe figure skater!gf oop

like gf lived a whole life before they became soft!gf and met jb and got into a relationship

(i physically cannot create another universe rn because i am so backed up, but we can keep this in the back of our minds, yes?)

okay i would like to think that jb would actually be pretty good on skates but it would be getting her on the ice thats hard

like if soft!gf actively still skates, julien is watching her rehearse or going to competitions or maybe watching her teach classes in awe of how she moves

but julien is SO resistant to getting onto the ice, like seeing how graceful soft!gf is, julien just doesn't believe that she could be the same way??

but let's say that julien and soft!gf are in NYC or soft!gf's hometown, maybe at the rink they grew up skating in (whether soft!gf was a figure skater or just ice skated with friends for fun)

and soft!gf is BEGGING julien to come skate, even just for a little

def goes as far to rent out the rink or hit some people up and be like "can we just have an hour, my girlfriend is super nervous"

and soft!gf is a treasure and loved so dearly...so clearly, they get the rink to themselves

getting julien in the car to go to the rink? check

getting julien in the proper clothing and skates? check

getting julien on the ice? girl... bffr

it takes SO much bribing and bartering, i mean soft!gf owes julien like 5 massages, a warm bath, 2 hours of braiding her hair, and special cookies that she doesn't make often because they're time consuming before julien agrees

and julien is giving bambi

holding onto the wall, slipping and sliding

it takes most of the hour? two hours? that they have the rink for jules to just acclimate to the ice

eventually soft!gf convinces jb to hold on to the walker thingy (yall know what im talking about?) or the big traffic cone and skaet around the ice

and right before they need to clear out, julien lets soft!gf take her hands, skating backwards as they pull julien around the ice, teaching her how to brake and glide

julien doesn't fall once and is encouraged by the many kisses and butt grabs that soft!gf graces her with

ice skating!julien comes back into play when they return to LA

i feel like soft!gf was talking to kelli or katie about ice skating and they were like wait lets go ice skating

so munagenius all decides to go to a rink

and everyone is nervous, except katie and soft!gf, i feel like phoebe would be nervous but still just like step onto the ice

and julien has increased confidence but is still terrified

mainly because she hasn't fallen yet

but she lets soft!gf genuinely teaches all of them, Katie assisting because of their rollerskating knowledge

and all of munagenius are ice skating like grandmas, the best playlist you've ever heard bumping through the speakers

and i feel like julien would get tired quick, like would go off the ice and sit, a cup of coffee between her hands as she watches soft!gf try and help jo and lucy skate in zig zags

eventually munagenius watches katie and soft!gf's choreography you know how when you were a kid and you made dances with your cousin and performed them? thats the vibe

and it's to a song thats just so out there, maybe its like fucking hardy or something idk

or silk chiffon teehee

[jkgnggj]

Never saw this addition but now that I have I wanna add onto it lmaoo

The psychickers always thought the other group were just... Y'know, joking around. Like just being silly when they said nice things Abt saiki and how kind and quiet he is. They always just played it off for laughs. Until they witness shit and they're like shocked to the core (Akechi pisses himself bc of how shocked he is) like Tori even pulls shun aside like alright chihuahua what did you do to make saiki like you? Did you bribe him? How many coffee jellies?! And shuns like wtf man I didn't do anything saikis just nice like that. But Tori is skeptical. Or saiki will be nice to nendou and Miko will be like uh do I got glitter in my eye or did I see that right? Who are you and what did you do to my kusuo?! And the psychickers are all worried and fretting over saiki like are you ok?! Do you have a fever?! Are you feeling well?!

One time they overhear the others gushing about how kusuo is a good listener and gave them a present they had their eye on for a while etc. and then Toritsuka passes by and is like "damn no fair. For my birthday saiki gave me a black eye and three broken ribs ;-;" and everyone's just dead silent and then they turn around and keep talking completely ignoring the germ. Best thing is nobody believes Tori yk.

Ok but on a serious note although he has a different relationship with both of his friend groups saiki still loves and cherished them in his own way. Like he is worried over his friends safety bc they got the shittiest timing and bad luck and bc they're also dumb and naive as hell so he's gotta babysit them like the mom of the group bc he feels responsible for them bc he's got powers that will help keep them safe yk? And sure he also looks out for the psychickers but not actively. Like he'll keep Miko safe bc of her job and help kechi if he bumps into bullies and uh... Heal Tori when hes on the brink of death (though that's usually because saiki made him see God). But he knows the psychickers are more or less capable of not needing his help bc they are actually competent (despite him calling them incompetent and useless all the time). Well except Tori, he's actually useless and incompetent but he's a danger to society so the world is better of without him teehee. Ok no but srsly saiki can be more upfront and honest with the psychickers bc they know his secret and with this secret comes other parts of his personality that were hidden. He puts up a bit of a front and some distance between him and his friend group bc they don't know Abt his secret and so he feels like they'd stop liking him if he did so ofc he's not gonna mess that up and he mean to them. But with the psychickers they know how dangerous he is (or at least how dangerous he perceived himself to be) and still willingly stick by his side like glue or more accurately like the fucking gun that u accidentally step on and gets stuck to the bottom of your fucking shoe and now u can't even scrape it off goddamn what a nuisance (affectionately). So yeah he lets up a little and maybe tries even harder to push them away by being mean and violent but that only pulls them closer to his heart <3

The main Saiki friendgroup and pk psychics are mostly seperate group right? And Saiki acts deferently with both of them so what happened is someone from the main friendgroup (like Kaidou or sth) witnesses some "weird" Saiki behavior? Like Saiki being more sarcastic and mean or even violent thowards Toritsuka, while hanging out with him. Or he hears Saiki calmly saying "kill yourself" and he's shocked that Saiki, who is so nice and calm could say something like that, even to the germ. Or Teruhashi overhears a conversation between Aiura and Toritsuka that goes like: "Yo wheres Saiki" "oh he's stalking that guy again" "again? Damn he needs to leave that poor guy alone" and she's like "what? Stalking? I never thought Saiki was like that". Or the groups combine and they’re playing "who is the most likely to..." and there’s a question like "whos most likely to tell you to kill yourself/beat someone up" and the psychickers are automaticaly like "Saiki" "Saiki-san" "Kusuo" and everyone else questions if they even know him.

[nervousgardenerkid]

no thoughts, head empty, steve being absolutely DOWN BAD for a theater kid reader who’s in the musical but since he can’t sing (methinks he can act but can’t sing) he bribes stage manager nancy (she’s stage manager material if she didn’t do journalism at hawkins high she’d be a stage manager) into making him an asm so he can hang out with reader and help them practice and all that shit

bonus points: reader is really into him and when they’re rehearsing singing a love song they always stare in steve’s direction for a bit like a simp and nancy teases both steve and reader about it—

(this is inspired by me listening to “i feel pretty” from west side story on repeat—)

<3

When he sees me

a/n: it's the way i wrote this like three times cause i couldn't decide on a musical😭😭i almost chose grease but it didn't sit right with me then i remembered waitress and was like this is PERFECT!! this is a modern au! the texts in the beginning are between nancy, steve, jonathan, and robin! i hope u enjoy this :D credit to the gif owner! <3

can someone bring me a coffee?? rehearsals are DRAGGING!!

i wish i could babe :( will is helping me for my photography final💔

here's some coffee nance! ☕️

not funny 😐 didn't laugh 😐

steve chuckles at the group chat and sends a quick text to them.

i'll bring it. my class was cancelled today

steve to the rescue!!

grab her a muffin! she loves those <3

thanks steve! im in the auditorium in the very front just come in quietly🫡

Steve stuffs the phone into his back pocket and walks toward the cafeteria to get Nancy her muffin and coffee. While he waited in line he scrolled through his phone liking random pictures of people he didn't even really know. He looks up when he hears his name being called and smiles at the barista handing him Nancy’s snacks. He makes his way to the auditorium wondering if all the stress was worth it to Nancy.

He's quite the worrier when it comes to his friends and he can't even seem to remember the last time Nancy had an actual meal. He remembers going out to eat with everyone and Nancy was looking over the script while Jonathan had to remind her that her food was getting cold. He quietly walks into the auditorium and stares at the stage in awe.

“Holy shit Nance, this looks amazing!” he exclaims while handing her the muffin and coffee. She looks at Steve and smiles, waving her hand in the air.

“This isn't all me, Eddie made hellfire help build the set!”

At the mention of his name Eddie walks onto the stage with a stool in his arms and looks at Nancy.

“Where do you want the stool again?”

Nancy gulps her coffee and hands it to Steve while hopping onto the stage. She shows Eddie where the tape is for the stool and Steve just stares at the cup in shock from how light it is.

“Nancy, when was the last time you ate?” He asked her.

“I had crackers today.”

Steve was ready to give Nancy a lecture that she's all too familiar with when he was suddenly interrupted.

“Nance, have you seen my nametag? Ash said she gave it to props even though it's part of costumes.”

Steve feels his heart jump out of his chest as he sees you standing on the stage. Steve has biology with you, you're actually his lab partner. Usually, Steve isn't one to talk to his classmates unless he needs to but he couldn't help but talk to you. It came so naturally for him, you laughed at his jokes, and god you were so fucking pretty. Steve is so infatuated with you that he doesn't even realize Nancy called him several times until she throws a pen at him.

“Steve! Come up here and help me real quick.”

Steve nods his head and jumps onto the stage standing next to Nancy with his hands on his hips.

“Steve Harrington at your service,” he says, which causes you to giggle.

“Hi, Stevie.” you say with a smile.

“Hey pretty girl, I like your outfit,” he says gesturing to your waitress costume. “Feel like you'd bring me the best burger in town.”

You blush and try your best to ignore his silly compliment while Nancy looks at your costume. She hands Steve the clipboard she's holding and stuffs her hands in every pocket she has.

“Crap, I thought I had the name tag but I don't. You asked props already?”

You nodded your head.

“Steve, go into the classroom and check in the professor’s drawer, there should be some spare name tags in there.”

“....where's the classroom?”

Silence falls over the three of you and Nancy sighs.

“Y/n, can you-”

“Already on it.” you chuckled out. You pass by Steve and place your hand on his arm giving it a gentle squeeze. “Bye Stevie.”

He sighs out a soft bye and turns his attention back to Nancy.

“Put me in the play.”

“What?!”

“Please! I promise you I'm a great actor!”

Nancy chuckles. “This is a musical, Steve, it's not just acting. There's singing and dancing.”

Steve let out a scoff. “I can sing and dance!”

“Steve, the only time you've sung is when we had karaoke night and you're one of the most uncoordinated people I know!”

Steve shakes his head. “Not true, you know Robin.”

Nancy nods her head knowing her friend is much clumsier than Steve. Steve silently thanks god for making him so stubborn because now, he's following Nancy around the stage while begging her to let him in the show.

“Steve!” Nancy shouts.

“Yes, I'll be in the play. See? Was that so hard-”

Nancy grabs him by the collar of his shirt and brings him close.

“Do you know why I chose y/n to play Dawn?”

“Cause she's pretty.”

Nancy rolled her eyes but smiled. “No, although yes she is pretty.” She let go of Steve’s collar and massaged her temples.

“Y/n is playing Dawn cause she's perfect for it. I've casted everyone very carefully so that the natural chemistry is there and no one has to force feelings or anything!”

Steve nods his head and lets out a hum. “So, what I’m hearing is you'll cast me.”

“MARCUS!” Nancy shouted.

A boy runs out onto the stage and sends Nancy a smile. Steve looks at who he assumes is Marcus up and down and cringes internally at his outfit. He's wearing a plaid shirt tucked into some black pants, and his hair isn't styled.

"That his costume?" Steve whispers to Nancy.

“I swear i don't dress like this," Marcus said to Steve. "What's up?” he asks Nancy.

“This is Steve,”

Steve waves at him and smiles at him.

“Show Steve what you have to do while singing.”

Marcus let out a chuckle and straightened his posture. “You want me to sing too?”

“Go for it.” she smiled.

Steve watches in awe when Marcus puts his arms flat on his sides and starts doing an Irish jig while singing perfectly. It lasts maybe a couple of seconds at most but it's enough for Steve to realize he may be in over his head.

“Thank you, Marcus, that's all I needed,” Nancy said with a smile and patted his back.

“If you think that's good just wait until opening night! It's gonna blow everyone away!” With that, Marcus finds his way back to the dressing room and Nancy turns to Steve with a smirk.

“Still think you're cut out for this?”

Steve let out a scoff. “If you didn't want me in the play you could've just said that.”

Nancy was ready to say something when half of the cast rushed out of the dressing room all talking over each other.

“Nancy! Rosa fucked up one of the waitress’ dresses!”

“I did not!“

“Oh really? Then how did pink pen ink get on there?!”

“Ask Charlie! He has a pink pen!”

“EVERYONE KNOWS I ONLY USE BLUE ROSA BE REAL!”

Nancy is used to feeling overwhelmed, it comes with being a stage manager. She's not sure if it's because she hasn't had a proper meal in a while, or maybe it's because Fred ditched being her assistant stage manager and decided to do journaling instead. Ugh, journaling.

“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” she shouts. Silence falls over the auditorium and Nancy has a bright idea.

“You still wanna be in the play?” she asks Steve. Steve slowly nods his head, but only because he's too scared to say no to her right now. Nancy sighs and turns to the cast.

“I need everyone seated in the audience in two minutes.”

Steve watched everyone scatter in different directions, some ran off the stage and sat in a chair while others went to get the rest of the cast. Once Nancy saw everyone in the audience she clapped her hands.

“Okay! As you know Fred has left and I've practically been doing manager things all by myself. It's been a struggle, but I still love what I do.”

“Nance, did you want me to sit in the audience too? Cause there's an empty seat next to y/n-”

“Thankfully! Steve, being the best friend he is, has decided to be my assistant stage manager! If you have any questions about costumes, props, or anything else go to him! I'll be showing him the ropes so don't worry. Any questions?”

Eddie’s hand shot up into the air. “He's gonna help move the set around right? Cause I have some guys going out of town so set design and things like that may run behind.”

Steve opened his mouth to answer his question but Nancy beat him to it.

“Yeah, he's definitely helping out, just make sure I see the designs before it's made final. Anyone else?”

Steve hears people mutter no and sees people shaking their heads.

“Awesome! Everyone go back to what you were doing and try not to come to me or Steve unless you absolutely need us! I'm gonna be in the class giving him a crash course.”

The cast started getting back to what they were doing while Steve was lost and confused.

“Nancy! Have you forgotten that I know nothing about theatre?! This is your area and a little bit of Will’s but that's not the point!

You hopped on stage with a smile and waved at Steve.

“Welcome to showbiz baby!”

Steve’s heart soars and he gives you a lovesick smile as he watches you walk into the dressing room.

“Tell me everything I need to know.”

-

“Stevie! Can you see if Will can help Mary fix my costume? It's a little loose on the sides.”

Steve let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “Nessa, I told you already you can't call me Stevie. I don't like that nickname.”

Nessa smirked. “But y/n calls you that.”

Steve felt himself begin to blush as Nessa started to tease him. Almost everyone knew about Steve’s crush on you, except you. You were too focused on the show knowing you had a number and everything was enough to send you spiraling into your thoughts.

“That's different, she's special.”

“Who's special?” you asked, stepping on stage in full costume.

“MY MOM!” Steve shouted.

“THE QUEEN!” Nessa followed.

You raise your brows at them and chuckle. “Okay…weirdos.”

Steve chuckled and turned back to Nessa.

“Yeah, I’ll see if I can sneak Will away to fix the costume.”

Nessa thanked him and skipped off to the dressing room to finish getting ready. Steve looks up from his phone and sees you nervously pacing the stage.

“Hey, you okay?”

You nodded your head. “It's weird, I've sung the songs so many times it's like…engraved in my brain.”

“But?”

You chuckle nervously and rub the plan of your hands along the apron that's folded across your waist.

“But what if I mess up? Opening night is tomorrow and I'm so scared that I'm gonna screw something up.”

Steve brings you in for a hug and sways you back and forth.

“You're freaking out over nothing! I've seen you rehearse this a million times, it's like you were born to be on stage.”

You stop swaying and look up at him with a smile. Steve isn't sure if it's the reflection of stage lights on your glasses or maybe you really do have stars in your eyes, either way, he could stare into them all day long.

“You think so?”

“Definitely, don't forget me once you're on Broadway with the big names.”

“Please, I could never forget you, Steve Harrington.”

Steve looks down at you and he wants to kiss you. He wants to kiss you so bad, but he knows he can't. Nancy made it clear that she doesn't want anyone to start a relationship in the middle of the show to avoid conflicts and drama, she called it show-mance.

“Do you maybe…want to hang out after all this?” Steve asked nervously.

“We can't…it’s forbidden.” You teased.

He let out a laugh and shook his head. “No, I mean after the show.” Steve took a deep breath and decided to pull the trigger on this.

“I've liked you for a while. Ever since you laughed at my jokes in biology actually, I wanted to ask you out but I got pulled into this and Nancy told me about the showmance rule she had,” Steve shrugs his shoulders, not really knowing where he was going with this. He knows he's just rambling now but he appreciates that you're listening still.

“I don't wanna be a showmance for you. I want to be more than that. An actual romance.”

You opened your mouth ready to say yes a million times when you heard the opening number blast through the speakers. You and Steve jump back from each other and you're quick to look up at the booths.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS JACK?!”

“I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SO LOUD!”

Nancy steps onto the stage and claps her hands. “Okay, people places! This is our last run-through of the show before opening night so let's make it count!”

Everyone scattered to their spots, including you. Steve felt his shoulders slump when he couldn't find you on stage anymore. He began making his way down the stage when you pulled him backstage and kissed his cheek. You looked around and made sure no one saw before you smiled.

“I'd love to go out with you. In an actual romantic way that is.”

“Yeah?” He asks with a wide smile.

“Yeah.”

Steve nods his head, mumbling the word cool under his breath. He clears his throat and places a kiss on your forehead.

“Break a leg superstar,” he whispers before jumping off the stage and sprinting to his seat next to Nancy. She doesn't look up from her script but he can practically hear her smile.

“You're welcome.”

Steve can't wipe off the smile that's on his face when he hears your voice mixed in with the other girls that are on stage. Steve knows he's not the smartest and he's not always right when it comes to certain things, but if he was right about one thing it was you. You were made to be on this stage, you were made to perform your heart out and touch the heart of others, and who knows? Maybe you were even made for Steve. Nah, he thinks to himself. You were definitely made for him.

[readyforthegarden]

Summer in the City - Epilogue

Epilogue

Masterlist

Pairing: Sam x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!! mentions of pregnancy

A/N: Once again, I just want to say thank you to everyone who read and supported this little AU. It made my heart so happy to see all the comments and tags, and I'm glad we got to take this little journey together. 41k+ words later, we're finally at the end.

Taglist:  @streamsofstardust​ @myownparadise96​ @sing-against-the-sky​ @mannick​ @screechesincoherently​ @garagebandvanfleet​ @theweightofstardust @hearts-hunger @allieboop @gvfrry @c4nc3rsimpp @a-bouquet-of-lilies @celestialfauna @doodle417 @heatmyfleet @trplshotofdopamine @age-of-nyahh @vader-kai @s-u-t  @parizonefourfour @acb0116 @saoirsemaeve @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @graygvf @oliverreedswhore @jakesgrapejuice

You stared sleepily at the ceiling above you, counting quietly in your head, trying to fall back asleep to no avail. The smell of warm bread was filtering from the crack in the door, and you couldn’t pretend to be asleep any longer. You rose from your empty bed, save for your orange tabby, Marmalade who was sleeping soundly on the other side of you. The sound of shuffling from downstairs letting you know the other inhabitants of the home were awake for the day. As you made your way down the stairs, voices met your ear.

“Please eat your breakfast.” You heard Sam plead softly. “I promise, it tastes just like when mommy makes it.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Buddy, come on. Your dad worked really hard on it.” Danny was trying his turn now. “It would mean a lot to him if you at least tried it.”

“No.” As you entered the kitchen, you saw Sam and Danny sitting next to your child, coaxing him to eat a bite of scrambled eggs at the dining table. Danny was cradling his own baby, only five months old, to his chest as he spoke quietly. You stood back and watched the two men bargain and bribe the young boy to no avail. The collie Sam had rescued from a shelter, Penny, laid beneath the high-chair, waiting for morsels to scarf up as they fell to the ground. 

“Something smells good.” you finally announced your presence, Sam sighing in relief. “Ooh, honey you made us breakfast?”

“Yes I did.” Sam smiled, gesturing to the food in the table. “I wanted to give you the morning off, love.”

“That was very sweet.” You bent down, giving him a kiss. Sam grinned into it, his hand coming to rest on your swollen, pregnant belly. His newly grown mustache and beard tickled your face and and only made you want to kiss him more. When you pulled away, he pressed a kiss to your stomach through your nightgown. “Thomas, your eggs are getting cold. Eat.”

“I don’t like daddy’s eggs. I like mommy’s.”

“Mommy taught daddy how to make those eggs.” You explained, easing yourself into the chair next to Sam. “So they are mommy’s eggs. You can eat them now, or you can eat them for lunch. Your choice.” Thomas looked between you and Sam, then finally picked up his small spoon, shoveling the eggs into his mouth. “Atta boy.”

“Thank you, love.” Sam reached over, squeezing your hand gently on top of the table. You nodded, yawning as Danny poured you a glass of orange juice. “How are you feeling?”

“I can’t wait for this kid to be out of me.” You sighed. “They won’t stop moving, I feel like I’m a jungle gym all hours of the day and night.”

“Just a few more weeks.” Sam assured you. You nodded, snagging a piece of bacon from the platter on the table and nibbling on it.

“Is Molly still asleep?” Danny nodded, patting Lily’s back gently as she wriggled in his arms at the mention of her mothers name. Lily had been fussy as of late, and Molly was up with her most of the night, not letting Danny take over until about four in the morning. He looked just as tired as you felt, his curly hair tossed up into a bun on top of his head to keep it out of Lily’s face and grasp. “Good, we’ll keep the coffee warm for her, I’m sure she’ll want some when she gets up.”

Most days were like this. You and Molly had started your own alteration business at the home after working at Doris’s shop for a few years, and you both kept busy while Sam and Danny tended to the garden before heading back into the city for work at the record and music supply store. Sometimes on the weekends, they’d play guitar at a local bar, earning some spare tip money. Now with little Thomas running around, and Lily, the two of you took more breaks, but still hustled to get the jobs that were asked of you done.

One evening, as the sun was shining a bright orange glow across the grass, you sat on a picnic blanket, watching Sam run around the front yard with Thomas. Penny was lying faithfully by your side, just as she had with your first pregnancy, and watched Thomas closely as he ran barefoot in the grass, just like his father.  Molly and Danny were sat on the porch swing with Lily, the little girl cooing as they swayed gently back and forth with her in her mothers arms. As you scanned your eyes along your home, feeling more contented than you’d ever had, you froze. You felt as if your heart stopped beating, watching the familiar figure walk up the driveway.

“Sam.” he turned to look at you, your tone stopping him as he bent to scoop up his son. You nodded towards the driveway and he turned, straightening up and guiding Thomas towards you.

“Go to your mother, Thomas.” he said as he moved forward. Thomas toddled over and stood in front of you, and you busied yourself brushing some dirt off his shirt. You chanced a glance behind you, and Danny was now stood up, hands gripping the railing as he watched Sam approach his brother.

You turned your attention back to Sam, and watched after a few moments as he embraced his brother tightly. You stood up, gathering Thomas up and holding him on your hip, before moving down the driveway to join them, Penny trotting along slightly in front of you. As you approached, you heard Sam talking about how he and Danny got their jobs, his hands moving quickly as he spoke. His brothers eyes moved towards you as you got closer, and he grinned.

“Petal.” he whispered. The look in his eyes was happy to see you, nostalgic even, but you could tell there was a hint of sorrow, of apology in them.

“Jake.” you gave him a smile, hoping that you could convey your forgiveness to him in just that simple gesture. “It’s good to see you.”

“You’re a sight for sore eyes, yourself.” he nodded back at you. His voice lacked any mischief and you knew he meant it sincerely. You watched his eyes travel down to your pregnant stomach, a hint of sadness in his eyes before they flicked up to the child on your arms. “Who’s this little guy?”

“This is Thomas, my son. Our son.” Sam grinned with pride, putting his arm around your shoulders. Jake’s eyes widened a bit, his eyes scanning all of your and Sam’s features before going back to Thomas. You gently shook your head. You’d been scared during your pregnancy, that your child was going to somehow look like Josh. You’d had nightmares about it, in fact. That the drugged up guru had somehow gotten his wish. The relief you had when Thomas grew to look exactly like his father was immeasurable.

“Thomas, this is your uncle, Jake.” you looked to your son. “The one you’re named after.” Thomas regarded the stranger in front of him carefully.

“Hi Thomas.” Jake smiled, reaching up a hand. The toddler reached out, wrapping his little hand around the tips of Jake’s outstretched fingers.

“Hi.” Thomas replied. The small group fell silent, and Sam broke the quiet quickly.

“Where are you staying?” Jake reached up a hand, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was at a motel out in town.” he sighed. “I was actually looking for you guys. I wanted to apologize for everything, see you guys again.”

“Jake, the past is the past.” you said softly. “We have plenty of room, why don’t you stay with us?” you looked towards Sam, who smiled down at you encouragingly.

“I couldn’t,” Jake shook his head.

“You can and you will.” Sam grinned. “Come on, let’s go up to the house. Danny is here, and Molly too. Wait until you see their baby girl, she’s adorable.” the three of you turned and walked up towards the house. Danny’s watchful eyes studied the smiles on your faces, and in a few quick steps he was bounding down the porch steps and wrapping his arms around Jake. Molly was standing from the swing now, Lily cradled against her chest protectively.

After they parted, Molly stepped down the steps, joining Danny, giving Jake a small greeting of her own. After a little bit of chit chat, you handed Thomas to his father, stretching your sore back a bit.

“It’s just about supper time.” you announced, a gentle breeze blowing your hair back behind you. “Do you like meatloaf, Jake?” he smiled at you.

“Love it.”

[seita]

the contract girlfriend | semi eita (m.)

˒ pairing: semi eita/reader ˒ genre: angst, fluff, smut ˒ wordcount: 𝟺𝟹𝟹𝟷 ˒ tags: friends2lovers, fake dating, musician!eita ˒ cw: dirty talk, loss of virginity, virgin kink if u squint: sweet talking, pet names, mean girl ex, mutual pining, unrequited love(?), angst with a happy ending, UNEDITED

+ note: this is a collab along with the other writers for the kkc! i would also like to thank @bokutobabie​ 𝖿for her help with this plot bc it was kickin’ my ass.

˖˖ summary: when he was an unknown musician, his girlfriend left him. now that he’s made it, he wants to make her jealous at a fancy party so he can get her back.unfortunately, he asks you to be his fake date. the downside? you have a very real crush on him.

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collab masterlist!

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.

“I have a proposition,” is never a sentence you want to hear when you sit down to lunch with your best friend. Especially when that friend is Semi Eita. 

“What..?” you ask apprehensively, taking the cup of coffee he’d obviously gotten to bribe you. You took it regardless, not willing to pass up the offer of free coffee.

“Nana is gonna be at the party this weekend,” he muttered, swirling his fingertips around the rim of his cup. You felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach at his words, “I want you to come and pretend to be my date.”

Just as you’d expected. Not something you wanted to hear.

Nana was Eita’s first love, his first serious relationship, really. They got together when he was fresh out of highschool, the two of them spending almost all of their time together. 

It was when his career as a musician was just beginning, he was playing small gigs and there was nothing really successful. But he was happy. And he thought she was too.

Until she dumped him in favor of a much more famous man. He was a big movie producer and offered her a leading role in an upcoming film. Of course, she took the offer. 

She would much rather be mingling with the rich and famous than be hanging out with “a nobody like him”, as she put it. You remembered the hurt Eita felt, the tears and heartbreak it took almost 3 years for him to get over. 

“Why?” you finally asked with a sigh, “What will that accomplish?”

“Well if she gets jealous, she might want to get back with me,” he grinned impishly, shrugging his shoulders like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You recognized the look in his eyes, one of determination. So you sighed, nodding your head, “Alright, I’ll be your date.”

He beamed, uttering out endless thanks to you as you went on with your lunch until he decided to go back to the studio. He slipped his hat on low, making sure his mask was in place before hugging your goodbye and leaving you sitting alone at the table. 

You sighed, downing the last of your coffee. Your spirits were low; you had no idea what to expect from this party. 

Would she fall for it and run back into his arms now that he had had his big breakthrough and became mainstream? She surely must have known by now; his band was already breaking records, wracking up fans by the thousands, his songs were being played on the radio. 

Maybe now that he was famous enough, she’d actually want to be with him. Not that she deserved him. And he didn’t deserve someone like that, either. He was too good for her, too good to be treated like that. 

You let out another sigh and stood up, grabbing your purse from the back of the chair.

This was going to be painful. You weren’t sure how you would cope with pretending to be his girlfriend all for the sake of him getting back with her. 

Surely your heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

Because as much as you tried to hide it, you were irrevocably in love with your best friend.

The entire getup was supplied to you by Eita; from the jewelry to the dress itself. You felt like a different person. Despite the fact he was your best friend, you hadn’t attended one of the big parties since his band’s breakout single. 

This particular party wasn’t in celebration of his band, but he was invited regardless so naturally he went. He was still enjoying the high life and was getting used to tasting fame. You were glad it hadn’t actually affected his personality. 

“You look nice today,” Tendou complimented with a breezy smile. He was nursing a glass of champagne, which was uncharacteristic to say the least. He had always been more of a whiskey kind of guy.

“Thanks,” you shrugged, “I’m not really a fan of this kind of thing.”

“I know,” he grinned, “You look terribly uncomfortable, that’s why I came over to be such a good pal and keep you company while your darling boyfriend is off galavanting with the people!”

You rolled your eyes, “He’s not my boyfriend, Satori.”

He giggled, taking glee in your embarrassment, “But you wish he was.”

“Are you already drunk?” you raise a brow, making him snicker.

Someone called his name from the crowd and he flashed you a knowing grin, “Eita may be too dim to see it, but the rest of us aren’t!”

You pout and find yourself alone once again. Looking around, you search for your ‘boyfriend’. Suddenly, a heavy arm falls across your shoulders and the familiar scent of his cologne reaches your nose. 

“Hey, babygirl,” he coos, making your heart skip a beat at the pet name. He sounds so fond and you feel yourself smiling before he busts out laughing, shaking his head before letting his arm fall from your shoulders, “That’s just so weird. I dunno if I’ll be able to get through this tonight,” Ouch. “Anyway, Nana just arrived so…” he takes your hand but you can’t bring yourself to smile as you feel the ache in your heart at his words.

If he takes note of your deflated behavior, he doesn’t say anything, merely leading you over to the balcony. You breathe in the fresh air and feel the ache in your chest dull.

“Eita? Is that you?” a perky voice makes you cringe. 

“Nana,” Eita breathes, tugging you against his side as she breaks through the crowd to stand in front of the two of you.

Her smile promptly disappears at the sight of you crowded in Eita’s arms.

“Eita...who’s this?” she asks, a smile returning but you can tell it’s plastic. 

You remembered everything you had gone over with him before the party; the two of you had sat down for a few hours to sort out your story and rules. It had felt like you were making a binding contract with him when you told him no kissing on the lips. It was your only stipulation and you swore you saw a brief downward tug of his lips when you told him before he beamed and readily agreed. 

Maybe you were imagining that disappointment in his eyes too. 

“This is my girlfriend, _____,” Eita introduced, giving your arm an affectionate squeeze.

“Oh,” she gave you a strained smile and held out her hand for you to shake. When you slipped your hand into hers, she gave it a tense squeeze that made you flinch, “I’m Nana, Eita’s ex.”

“I’ve uh…” you cleared your throat and pulled your hand away, “I’ve heard stories about you.”

“All good I’m sure,” she replied flippantly before setting her sights on him once more, “We should totally catch up, you know? Reminisce about the good old times~”

The sultry, flirtatious undertone made your skin crawl. Even if you weren’t really dating, she thought you were and for her to not respect that made you angry. But still, Eita pulled away and placed a kiss against your temple that set your heart ablaze.

“Sure, why not?” he grinned and gave your hand a squeeze, “You go have some fun, sweetheart. I’ll catch up with you later.”

You gave him a hollow wave as he quickly vanished into the crowd without a second glance your way. You knew this was the end goal but still, to see him walking away hurt. A sense of rejection was seeded within you and you felt your spirits slowly being crushed. 

It took all your power to continue on with the party until it felt acceptable to leave. Throughout the party, you kept getting glances of the two of them. 

Eita wore a serene smile, his eyes sparkling as he looked at her. Whenever she looked at him with a flirtatious smile and a subtle caress, you felt jealousy pool in the core of your stomach. You wanted to march over there and scream “he’s mine!”. But you couldn’t, because he wasn’t really yours. 

He was only pretending to be yours so he could have her. 

Your phone vibrated as you downed your final glass of wine, making you look at the screen with a frown.

“I’m heading to Nana’s apartment for the night! See if Satori can give you a ride home, thanks for the help!!”

Your jaw ached from how hard you were forcing yourself to keep from crying. When you tried to find the elusive redhead, you found he was drunk and dancing with two girls so you decided to leave him be and simply call an Uber. 

For just a short time, you had simply been a contract girlfriend for him to use. Though you knew it was fake, it still felt so nice to be called his. 

So you went home, removing your expensive clothing like Cinderella after the ball and decided to relax on the couch. It was only a little past midnight when you got out of the shower, turning on the TV to watch whatever late night nonsense was playing. 

Eita thought that being with Nana again would be everything he wanted. But as he laid beside her, her head resting on his naked chest, strangely all he could think of was you. 

When he asked you to pretend to be his date, he hadn’t thought of the possibility of how it would really feel. Sure, he had touched you before, naturally. Sometimes he hugged you and held your hand. But that night, when he placed the kiss against your head, the way your eyes lit up in response had his heart stuttering when he thought back to it. 

Truth be told, when you told him he couldn’t kiss you he felt so...disappointed. He had thought of assigning the same rule but decided against it at the last moment, secretly thinking about how nice it may feel to kiss you. 

He had quickly dashed that though because of how wrong it was to think of you like that. 

Yet there he was, thinking of you with his ex girlfriend back in his arms again.

“Eita?” Nana asked, lifting her head to look drowsily at him, “Are you okay?”

“Um...yeah,” he clears his throat, “I should probably get going.”

“Why?” she whines, “Don’t worry about her.”

“Huh? Who?” he asks, confused.

She giggles and clings to his arm, “Your girlfriend! She doesn’t have to know!”

His heart ached at those words -- true, you weren’t really dating but he felt like he had done something wrong. And for some reason Nana’s blatant disregard that he had cheated with her made him nauseous.

“I...I just want to see if she made it home safely,” he gave her a tight lipped smile and picked up his phone. 

She rested against the pillow, head propped up on her hand as she watched him dial you. When you didn’t answer, he gave a frustrated sigh and dialed Satori instead. 

It rang a few times before the slurred voice of his best friend answered, “H-Hey man, what’s up?”

“Satori, did you drop _____ off okay?” Eita asked.

The redhead made a confused sound over the line, “What’re you talkin’ about? She never asked me to take her anywhere.”

“What?” Eita frowned, “Did you see her leave the party?”

“Gotta tell ya, man, I wasn’t watchin’ her,” Tendou replied, a feminine giggle in the background making Eita frown, “Wasn’t that supposed to be your job?”

Eita sighed, shaking his head, “Alright, dude, just...let me know if you hear from her.”

“Hah? Why would she call me?” Satori chuckled, “Why don’t you just check on her? Better safe than sorry...I mean, she’s a cute girl, you never know what kinda scoundrels were eyeing her in that pretty little dress tonight. If i was a less honorable friend, she would be the one in my bed right now!”

Eita scoffed and hung up as his friend started cackling gleefully over the line. Eita stood up, shaking off Nana’s grabby hands as he slipped his jeans back on.

“You’re not going back to her, are you?” she pouted.

Eita sighed, “I gotta check on her. No one knows where she went off to.”

“She’s a big girl, c’mon Eita~” she purred, letting the sheet fall from her bare body as she crawled towards him.

He shook his head and threw his shirt on, grabbing his keys off of her dresser before moving to the door, “I gotta see her.”

He ignored her obnoxious whining as he bolted out the door. Any sleepiness that was in his system had evaporated at the worry he felt over you. 

The drive to your apartment was quick enough, it went by in a blur. He took two steps at a time up to your place on the 3r floor, not patient enough to wait for the elevator. 

The knock on your door made you jump. Throwing the pillow you held in your lap aside, you checked through the peephole to see a familiar head of sandy blonde hair. 

Pulling the door opened, you looked at him with wide eyes, “Eita? Aren’t you supposed to be with--”

“I couldn’t get a hold of you,” he breathed, stepping past you to enter your living room.

“And?” you laughed, shrugging your shoulders.

“I got worried! Why didn’t you go home with Satori?” he sighed, sitting on your couch with a huff.

You chuckled again, though it was humorless, “He looked like he was having fun, I didn’t want to impose.”

He sighs and relaxes against the couch. As you sit next to him, for a second things feel normal. 

You almost feel okay, as if you could forget about everything happening. It’s so easy to forget your crush on your best friend and the fact he wanted to be with another woman. 

It was easy to forget it all until it came rushing back into your face in the form of Nana. 

You and Eita were having a lunch date, as was normal for the two of you. Unfortunately, amid his retelling of a story you had heard a million times over, she showed up with an obnoxious screech of his name.

“Eita!” she squealed and rushed over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. 

You let out a soft sigh, your eyes falling to your half-finished plate.

“Nana…” he greeted, eyes wide in shock, “H-How did you find me? What’re you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you, silly!” she chirped, taking a seat in his lap in a way that was far too comfortable. Suddenly, her gaze shifted to you and the smile vanished off of her face, “Oh, you’re here.”

“Nana…” Eita sighed but didn’t make any move to get off of him.

“What? I thought you were going to break up with her?” she whined loudly, making your cheeks burn as people looked over at the two of you, “You said you were going to dump her!”

“I--” Eita started.

“You should go,” Nana grinned at you, shrugging her shoulders as she hugged Eita closer to her, “Seriously, he’s mine now. He was fucking me at that party instead of you.”

Although nothing about your relationship that night was real, the humiliation you felt at that very moment was. She was smug that she had gotten your boyfriend to cheat on you and was making a spectacle of her victory. 

Biting your lip, you reached behind you to grab your purse, “I-I’ll see you later, Eita.”

“______ wait!” he called but you were already rushing towards the entrance. 

You had no idea that he was hot on your heels until you reached your apartment. You went to close it only for the foot to intercept it. Looking over your shoulder, you found Eita panting before he was pushing the door open completely.

“_____ I--” he paused, “Why are you crying?”

“I am?” you wiped under your eyes and frowned when you felt the moisture there, promptly wiping it away, “Sh-She completely made a fool of me, Eita. I don’t know what you ever saw in her and I don’t know why I helped you get back with her.”

“I know, look…” he ran a hand through his already messed up hair, “I feel the same, alright? I’m sorry I pulled you into all this, _____, I really am. Alright, I told her to get lost.”

You sighed and took a seat on your couch, “She only wanted you back because you’re famous now. You know that right?”

He chuckled and sat down, nodding his head, “I guess I was just...hoping for something I guess.”

“What?” you asked.

He shrugged, “I don’t really remember anymore,” he confessed. 

“Well,” you didn’t quite know what to say, simply leaning back on the couch to appear relaxed, “I always wondered why you didn’t date after her anyway.”

He shrugged once more. How was he meant to say that he didn’t want anyone impeding on his time with you? 

“I guess...no one really came along, you know?”

You nodded, “I guess it’s the same for me.”

He snorted, “You’ve never even dated anyone before.”

“You don’t have to bring that up!” you whined, playfully shoving his shoulder.

He laughed, melodic and pretty, “I think it’s cute. What’s your story then?”

“Eita, we’ve been friends since high school, you know everything about me,” you smiled, feeling your cheeks warm at the soft look he was giving you.

“Yeah but…” he bit his lip, fingers inching closer towards you, “You’re...pretty and sweet. There’s plenty of good looking guys around me that have tried flirting with you before. Hell, Satori even said he was into you.”

You smiled and shook your head, “No, none of them are right…”

“Who is right then?” he asked, unable to hide the hopefulness in his voice.

“Eita…” the smile falls from your lips, your heart hammering in your chest as he moved closer towards you, “I…”

“Hm?” he hummed, his nose brushing against yours, breath fanning over your lips.

“I...I won’t regret this, will I?” you asked. 

His breathing stuttered against your skin and he shook his head, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, “You won’t.”

After those words left his mouth, he brought your lips to his in a sweet kiss that was perfect for a first. You could tell he was experienced, knowing exactly how to move. 

There was something sweet lingering on his tongue that you found utterly addictive. 

You wish you could find it strange or even scary to wind up in bed with your best friend. The fact your entire relationship was going to be changing should have concerned you but all you felt was anticipation. 

He hovered over your body, the two of you stripping your clothes with unhurried ease. His body was firm from working out, a habit he never let go of from his time as a volleyball player. 

His hands were calloused and warm as they touched your body, caressing your breasts in a way no one ever had. The feeling of him thumbing over your nipples had your back arching in arousal, your panties becoming soaked embarrassingly fast. 

He was hard and throbbing in his jeans, the constricting material almost painful but all he really cared about in that moment was seeing all of you. 

Hooking his thumbs into the band of your panties, he pulled the material down. He cursed under his breath at the strings of slick that attached to the fabric. 

“You’re so wet,” he breathed, licking his lips as he tossed your panties over his shoulder to be lost somewhere in your room. 

“Sh-Shut up, don’t tease me…” you mumble, feeling embarrassed by your body’s own reaction to him.

He smiles, pressing a soft kiss against your knee, “I’m not, baby. It’s sweet...I love knowing you react so honestly to me.”

“Eita…” you whined, reaching up to cover your face as he spread your legs.

“Hmm?” he bites his lip, sliding two fingers between your folds to spread them apart. 

Your hole clenched around nothing, drooling more slick for him to gather on his fingertips. He used it to rub smooth circles around your clit, the sweet moan that fell from your lips at the pleasure he so easily gave you. 

“I’ll get you nice and prepped, baby,” he cooed, the nickname making your heart soar. 

You were so wet, making it easy for him to slide two thick fingers into your pretty cunt. You clamped down tight around the digits, making his cock throb at the mere thought of what that would feel like around his hard cock. 

Twisting his wrist, he crooked his fingers up to hit your sweet spot, his thumb coming up to circle around your clit. The inexperience of your body made it so easy for him to bring you to the edge. 

You had never felt this, no one had ever touched you so intimately so your body was more reactive than ever. 

Reaching down, you wrapped your hand around his wrist, meeting his gaze with wide eyes. He smiled, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth.

“You cumming?” he asked, though he could very easily feel your walls spasming around him. 

Still, you nodded, mouth falling open but no sound escaping, “E-Eita…”

“C’mon, baby,” he groaned, fasting his pace to fuck your dripping cunt. The sounds were wet, lewd and if you were with anyone else you would have been completely ashamed. But it was Eita, the person you trusted the most in the world. He groaned as your body began to quake, “Let it go, pretty girl. Cum for me, that’s it.”

At his encouragement, you released with a shrill whine of his name. He eagerly fucked your gushing cunt through the high, only slowing when your back met the bed again. 

Pulling his fingers from your hole, he was mindful of your sensitivity. He still couldn’t resist placing a fleeting kiss against your throbbing clit before sitting up to meet you for another heated kiss. 

Your body was still trembling as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your thighs spread open around his waist. His clothed cock hovered above your sensitive core and he made sure the rough material of his jeans didn’t make contact.

“Please, Eita, c-can we…?” you asked, biting your lip, too embarrassed to utter the words.

He smiled and nodded, brushing some hair behind your ear before sitting up to discard the remaining clothing on his person. His skin was pretty, tanned and built. His cock reached his navel, dripping precum down the length which he used to easily slick his cock up with his fist. 

The sight of your best friend jerking himself off over your naked, trembling body felt beyond taboo. But it only made you more eager to have him. 

“Please, Eita...I want you,” you breathed. 

He flashed you a smile and sat up on his knees, sliding the dripping tip between your folds. Brushing past your clit, you whined at the sensitivity. 

“It might hurt a bit, pretty baby,” he whispered, positioning himself at your entrance. 

You had already guessed it. He was big just by looking at him. But nothing compared to when he began to sink into you -- that’s when his size really became apparent. 

“Ah, Eita!” you whined, digging your nails into his shoulders.

He hissed but didn’t stop you, eyes falling to where his cock was steadily stretching you open. When he got halfway in, he pulled back until the head remained within your clasping walls. With an experienced roll of his hips, he pushed his cock back in, this time easily bottoming out. 

“Fuck!” you squealed, back arching. 

He could feel you gushing, dripping down his balls. There wasn’t a single sign of pain in your features so he quickly began to move, the both of you riled up and eager to have each other completely. 

Everything felt so right, so sweet. Having him in your arms made you feel so happy. 

“You’re mine now, baby,” he groaned, burying his face in your neck, “All mine. N-No more, fuck, of this friend shit...I love you.”

“Eita,” you whined, tears pricking your eyes as you hugged him tightly against you, “I love you too. P-Please make me cum.”

“Fuck, I’ll get you there, baby,” he promised, reaching between your bodies to find your clit. Your walls immediately clamped tight around him as he played with your little bud, “C’mon. Cum for me. I wanna feel you cream, pretty baby. Can you do that for me? Show me how good this cock makes you cum.”

His filthy words, whispered in his sweet, deep voice were enough to throw you over the edge. As you squeezed around him, trembling and gushing through the amazing orgasm, he spilled within you. A soft whimper of your name fell from his lips as his balls throbbed, cock spitting out load after load until you were so filled, it dripped from your cunt. 

Finally, the both of you stilled. He leaned back to look in your eyes, tucking some damp hair behind your ear before pecking your lips. 

“I meant it, you really are mine now,” he said.

You nodded, “You’re all mine too.”

“Well,” he gave you a teasing grin, “You have to share me with my millions of adoring fans.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” you giggled, biting your lip as he pulled out, “You have thousands at most.”

“Oh, way to bruise a guy’s ego,” he laughed.

You were grateful to have him, everything with him was so easy. Everything between you was fine, perfect even. And you didn’t have to worry about ever losing him to another girl again.

[imjusttpeachy]

the early bird gets the panini (c.h.)

well this is quite the change of pace isn’t it. lmao i figured u guys needed a break from the crying so here’s... whatever this is

thank u all new followers!! u jus made a big mistake💞🦋

u guys should search up “my very real collab with 50 cent” by corpse if you haven’t heard it yet, i ascended the first time i listened lmaoooo

playlist

the wombats - greek tragedy

aminé - heebiejeebies

free nationals - beauty and essex

the marías- let my baby stay

summary: Corpse interrupts the reader’s morning livestream after she left him alone in bed that morning. Fluff and fuckery ensues.

word count: 2, 326

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns, coarse language

>>>

“Okay, Tom Nook is the most bitch-ass motherfucker I’ve ever met. I could fold him like a panini with a slap I swear to god.”

Mornings were definitely one of your favourite times to stream. Of course, you loved staying up into the early hours of the morning only kept awake by the energy drinks running through your veins and the screaming of your friends over your headset, but nothing could beat the sweet simplicity of waking up with your watchers. It was always so calm, your anxiety levels at a low with the small audience building up slowly as more of them woke up. Reading those good morning messages saying that you helped to start their day off on a good foot— nothing would beat that.

The only downside to these scheduled morning streams was having to tear yourself away from the cozy warmth of your bed, especially if there was a certain someone blanketed over you silently persuading you to stay there forever. It was always a rare sight, bruised eyes sealed shut, long eyelashes kissing pale cheeks as small snores escaped from slightly parted lips. Glancing down at the messy black mop that rested on top of your chest, you sighed softly. You knew he’d only been asleep for a few hours, if that, thinking back to the night before where you crawled into bed alone after kissing him goodnight before leaving him to finish editing for his latest video. He worked too hard, but despite you reminding him this every single time he stayed up into the dark hours of the night to finish his work, he always never seemed to be satisfied. Most of the time you were able to coax him from the stuffy confines of his gaming office, bribing him with sweet kisses and promises of cuddles; when he was in the zone, though, nothing could steer his sore eyes away from the monitor. So with a sweet kiss goodnight, you’d make your way to the bedroom, falling asleep to the faint click-clacks of his keyboard.

It was funny how different you were in that aspect. You always loved mornings, the sun shining through the blinds always brought a smile to your face holding the promise of a bright day ahead. It felt good to never be in a rush, to enjoy the still air, and watch the world around you wake up as people settled into their daily routines. The day’s chaos always seemed to leak through into the dark of the night, but in the morning everything felt new and refreshed; the perfect new beginning to another chapter in the story of your life. Though, allowing yourself the guilty pleasure of staying in bed tangled together with your favourite person every so often wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Okay, maybe it was almost every day.

But who could say no when those strong arms encased you so perfectly, holding you so close you couldn’t figure out where you ended and where he started? Who could say no to his warm skin pressed against your own, the weight of his body grounding you as you pulled yourself from the darkness of sleep? Who could say no to being able to study his face up close, running your fingertip ever so lightly along the curve of his jaw, the bridge of his nose, the apples of his cheekbones, watching his eyelids flutter as he stirred softly in his sleep? Who could say no to the pillow talk you shared once those pretty eyes opened, the deep grumble of his morning voice that prickled goosebumps over your skin as he muttered those 3 sweet little words?

Definitely not you.

Well, not often anyway.

Reluctantly pulling your gaze away from the sweet face resting on your chest, you glanced over to the alarm clock on the nightstand. Red numbers reading 9:37 AM that seemed to be glaring back at you pushed any thought of indulging in your morning pleasures straight from your mind. You’d need to be live in 20 minutes. Puffing another sigh from your lips you slowly worked your way out from underneath your personal weighted blanket, trying your best to maneuver him softly onto the pillows to not wake him. Of course, you’d never be that lucky. Hissing through your teeth as your feet hit the icy top of the hardwood floor, you whipped your head around as a warm hand encased your wrist in a loose grip. Beneath messy bed head that could barely be seen from underneath the comforter that you had pulled back on top of him, you see the glimpse of tired eyes clouded with confusion peering out from underneath.

“Angel?” The deep grumble muttered underneath his breath almost made you throw all your plans to the wind and crawl right back into the fluffy clouds you longed to once again get lost in. Huffing out a sigh you slowly turned around, pulling your hand from his grasp only to bury it in the dark locks buried among the pillows. You leaned down softly, pushing your hands through his hair to reveal soft pleading eyes staring back at you, doing nothing but making your heart ache for having to leave so soon. Trancing your thumb along his eyebrow to try and smooth the small furrow that had made its home between them, you sighed softly.

“It’s Thursday, gotta stream puppy.” You watched as a small flash of recognition passed across his bleary eyes, a puff escaping his lips from under the comforter as you watched his chest fall slightly. Pulling his head up from the comforter, you smiled as you felt chapped lips press a small kiss to the inside of your wrist in understanding. Allowing yourself a bit of fun you leaned down pressing your lips to his briefly, giggling softly as a whine escaped his mouth as you pulled away. “Promise I won’t be long, I’ll be back before you even have time to miss me.”

“Too late for that.”

>>>

Smiling as you glanced up at your monitor that held your live chat, you watched as your viewers lost it with your threat to an animated shopkeeper. Times like this are what remind you of how grateful you are to your subscribers, they were practically family at this point and you felt you couldn’t be luckier to have such genuine, warm-hearted people that wanted to watch; even when you were cussing out characters that did nothing to you. You were laughing as you read some of the chat replies out loud when you saw your phone light up with a text from where it was sitting on your desk. Excusing yourself for a moment from the stream you grabbed your phone seeing a message from Corpse. 

Corpsie💞💞: did you order coffee? someone knocked on the door and there’s a paper bag on the step

Cursing to yourself quietly for forgetting, you answered him quickly saying that you just needed to cut to a break on stream and you’d be out in a minute to grab it. He was wary of even opening the front door these days, and honestly, you couldn’t blame him. The last time you had driven out to pick up whatever was sent into his P.O. Box, there were people waiting outside the building. When you went inside to grab everything, you asked the teller what exactly they were waiting for, to which he told you that they were hoping to catch a glimpse of this faceless internet star as this is where he’d go to get his mail. You don’t think you’ve ever walked faster to your car— trying your best to not grab their attention though your body was shaking with adrenaline, knowing they might’ve seen him while he was waiting there for you. Practically throwing open the driver's door, you tossed everything haphazardly into the back seat, telling Corpse to pull up his hood and mask as you started the car and peeled out of there. That was the last time he left the house.

You sighed, dropping your phone back on your desk as well as the switch that had been sitting in your lap, beginning to explain that you needed a quick break to get your coffee and starting to click through the settings to set up your break screen when you saw your phone light up again.

Corpsie💞💞: nah don’t worry i got it

You barely had time to sit back in your chair as you stared at your phone in disbelief before there was a soft knocking on your office door. 

“Just kidding guys, apparently we have a kind guest who’s bringing it to me instead.”

Corpse hearing your voice from behind the door, it swung open to reveal your mop-headed lover sporting his cute plaid pyjama pants and yesterday’s hoodie as he held your coffees and bag in his hand. You grinned to yourself, moving out of the frame of the webcam as you reached out to grab everything, placing it on your desk before turning back to him with a wide smile. Reaching back for his hand, you pulled it down toward you, his body following as your other hand reached up to bury itself in his bedhead. You leaned forward and pressed a small peck onto his lips, mumbling a soft thank you against them as you kissed him once more. While this may have looked like the most simple gesture you knew how difficult it must have been for him, almost wanting to cry at how sweet he was to go to those lengths to do something a little special for you. As you pulled away, you smiled as his face mirrored yours, those soft rosy lips pulled into the sweetest grin you’d ever seen. Resting his forehead against yours, he mumbled back a small “anything for you princess,” the deep rumble of his morning voice sending a chill up your spine as you leaned forward again to steal another sweet kiss. Finally pulling away from you he stood up to his full height, a yawn escaping his mouth; though as he looked back toward the door you could sense his hesitation and grinned widely up at him.

“Do you wanna sit with me for a bit? I can just turn off the camera.” Giggling softly, you watched his head practically whip back toward you nodding a yes as he squeezed your hand, still intertwined with his. Reluctantly pulling it from his grasp, you pulled yourself back toward your monitors as you began to click through your stream settings. 

“Well, your favourite guest has decided to grace us with his presence for a little so I’m gonna have to turn off face-cam, but I don’t think you guys will have a problem with that.” You laughed out, watching as your chat began to surge with messages about him. Making sure there was no way you could accidentally turn on the webcam again, you gestured him over to you starting to stand from your chair to grab the other one sitting in the corner of the office when a hand grasped yours, a strong tug pulling you completely off it with; a small yelp escaped your lips as you fell clumsily into your boyfriend's chest. You could hear his laugh from above you as he maneuvered you around in his arms before falling back onto your chair and pulling you into his lap, his face burying itself into the crook of your neck where you could feel that smug grin that was surely painted on his face. With his arms wrapped around you completely, holding you securely to his chest you knew you weren’t going anywhere. Looking up at the chat a laugh was pulled from your lips as your watchers conspired against you, message after message accusing you of doing something unspeakable behind the camera as being the reason you turned it off.

“Guys, literally nothing is happening.” You laughed out, watching as the chat passed so fast you couldn’t even read a full sentence. “Corpse just decided he wanted to share a chair instead of getting his own.”

“Yeah, my bad.” With no trace of any remorse in his monotone answer, another laugh escaped from your lips. Leaning forward to grab your switch and actually start playing again, you settled back into Corpse’s lap knowing this is exactly where you wanted to be. You were only a few minutes back into the game, Corpse and you occasionally reading out some live chat comments excited about his surprise appearance as viewers slowly climbed— his own watchers joining to watch the stream, when he inevitably started to fuck with you. A chill snaked up your spine as you began to feel small kisses trailing up your neck, you should’ve known this was one of the reasons he wanted to have you in his lap— it was easier to get your attention this way. You could feel that smug little smile drift back onto his face as he heard your voice start to shake slightly; at those moments he’d pull away and start replying to messages before turning back and starting all over again. It was the fourth time he began to press those soft lips to the base of your throat when you shrugged him off and shoved the breakfast sandwich you were snacking on into his face.

“Okay, if you want to share a chair you’re gonna have to behave.”

“Okay, okay. Sorry baby, sorry.” Corpse laughed out, voice muffled from behind the sandwich; taking a bite of it and placing it back in front of you, his chest still shaking with laughter. Deciding to hook his chin over your shoulder instead, he went back to watching the live chat, chatting and answering questions— that is before he came across a certain comment that had him furrowing his brows in confusion.

“What’s this about you folding Tom Nook like a panini?”

>>>

[idontblushsrry]

Uhh may I make a request for Ouran High School Host club? Just a headcanon for how the host would react to meeting someone how is a big time animal lover. (Like they pretty much live there life like the Irwin family)

A/N: I was thinking about how I’d write this and my brain just went ‘they lost their shit at the sight of instant coffee’, so uhh I hope this is to your liking. I tried to get as much animal variety as I could even though I didn’t really touch on marine animals that much)

Warnings: Like 2 swear words (pinky promise), slight drug mention(literally so small you might not even notice it), spoilers (minor) for Tamaki’s mom

Word Count: 1292

General

So this is under the assumption that like the Irwin family, Reader (or their family) has access to a wide variety of animals (from domestic to wild)

All of them respect the passion you have for animals

While they all might have various feelings on animals (see below), they can’t deny that you truly do love animals

Your family’s sanctuary focuses on healing injured animals and rehabilitating them so they can go back into the wild

Of course, your family has many sanctuaries around the world and some focus more on conservation while others focus on research

The one closest to the school focuses mainly on conservation and as such, is massive and functions like a zoo ( in terms of having people come in and see the animals)

Anyways, the host club is very supportive and often helps you with organizing donation events

Oftentimes, your family will collaborate with them and allow them to rent out parts of the conservation center for events

Aside from the conservation center though, your family owns a few ranches and farms (not for commercial profit, although yall have sold a few animals)

The farms and ranches are relatively small scale but they make great venues for the host club and a great place for getaways/vacations

Your main house is where you keep most of your favorite animals

You have an aviary attached to your room (connected through a hallway that connects to your room) as well as a butterfly garden in the backyard

You also have an aquarium tank, 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 snake, and a hamster that visits on weekends

You had to be stopped at some point

Tamaki

Tamaki loves animals

He was never really around animals growing up because of how sensitive his mom’s immune system is

So when he sees that you’re an animal person, he’s super excited

Like this man is already planning playdates between Antoinette and your pets/animals

You love his enthusiasm, just one small problem

It’s a little too much enthusiasm

Yes the animals are well trained, but how would you react if a 6′0 giant with long arms came barreling towards you screaming showing its teeth?

So yeah, Tamaki tends to set the animals off/ make them nervous

Because of that he’s only allowed around certain animals (ex. certain monkeys, certain birds, etc.)

He’s happy that he’s allowed around some animals but he still pouts every time there’s an animal he can’t be around

Kyoya

This man

Kyoya does not fuck with animals. Like at all

The first time the host club went to your house, you were holding a hamster and Kyoya moved back about 10 feet

When you asked him what was wrong, he just said “Rats are carriers of many of the most deadly diseases”

You told him that you were holding a hamster and that while hamsters were rodents, the worst he’d get sick with would be salmonella

He doesn’t believe you, but yeah sure whatever

For Kyoya it just gets worse after that

The first time he sees you holding a tarantula, he loses his shit

“Look how cute it is Kyoya!”

“Get that vermin away from me!”

I could go on and on about how much Kyoya doesn’t like animals (even domestic ones like cats and dogs)

He hates going to your house, but he often has to go there in order to set up events for the host club, what a nightmare

While he doesn’t care for animals, the business side of his brain can’t help but think of a marketing opportunity

Mori

Is one of two hosts that are going to be chill about it

He doesn’t feel one way or the other about animals and thinks it’s cool that you’re interested in them

Only thing is; if Honey’s afraid of your animals, he will have to ask you to leave he won’t hesitate to step in “harm’s” way

Surprisingly though, that actually makes him the chillest with your animals

Much to your surprise (and Tamaki’s sorrow), the animals love him

He just has this calming vibe that sets the animals at ease

It also helps that he smells nice and is super tall

For most of them it’s like sitting on a giant tree

He’s not really complaining though, it makes his job of protecting Honey that much easier

Honey

Oh boy

He might actually be the worst with animals

It’s not even an issue of being unable to defend against aggressive animals (Honey could probably solo a grizzly bear)

It’s just he has a very strict “cute” animal policy that changes wildly depending on his mood, the temperature, the angle of the wind, the humidity, etc.

He’s very bougie when it comes to what animals he will tolerate and what animals he will refuse to see

The general safe choices are rabbits (especially bunnies), kittens, cows, tits (the bird species), and baby animals of almost every domestic mammal species)

Him and the hamster you see on weekends are best friends

Also, you have had issues with him trying to feed the animals sweets

Explaining to Honey why rabbits can’t have carrot cake was not an easy conversation, nor was it one you thought you’d need to have

Because of how specific he is about what animals he finds cute, you likened him to a crocodile (because of how sensitive they are to temp. changes in egg)

Needless to say...he was not pleased

Hikaru

So him and Kaoru don’t really care for animals but they try to relate to you in somewhat similar but different ways

Hikaru is always trying to get you to do/recreate stunts with the animals

“Hey Y/N, we should-”

“No Hikaru”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say”

“No you cannot use the dolphins for hoop tricks, no you cannot teach the gorillas how to roll blunts, no you cannot “bribe” the koalas with eucalyptus...”

Yeah he’s a menace

It’s mostly all in good fun though

Hikaru doesn’t really care for animals but he does find it hilarious that the animals like him more than Tamaki

Also, completely random but Hikaru definitely send you those “horse-sized duck vs duck sized horses” memes

Kaoru

Kaoru also tries to use animals on the internet to relate to you, but he’s a lot tamer than Kaoru

Kaoru is kind of like the parent who learns one thing you like and is like “that’s your entire personality right?”

Poor bby is trying his best

Anyways, whereas Hikaru tries to recreate memes, Kaoru sends you them

They range in quality and format; from top text, bottom text to “is this a ____”

At least once a day, Kaoru will send you a meme or picture of an animal with a caption that says ‘this reminded me of u :)’

It’s so endearing that you can’t even be mad about it

Haruhi

Is the only other one who’s kind of cool about the whole thing

She’s really only been around animals in the park or the occasional pet store

Growing up, she didn’t really have the time (or money) to go to the zoo, that and the fact that Ranka doesn’t care at all for animals (she thinks they’re weird and gross)

When Tamaki hears this, he works himself up into a frenzy, torn that his “daughter” has never been to a zoo (even tho he hasn’t either)

But she likes the fact that you’re so passionate about animals

At heart, she’s a scholar, so she loves learning new things she didn’t know before, she could spend all day just listening to you talk about animals

Not to mention the fact that you’re basically giving her a free informational tour  every time you see an animal

[eddsworldrus]

Here have a ton of artic au headcanons cause I have a 3 page google doc of just hc’s for the dudes

and would love 2 talk bout em more

Some of them i’ve shared before since know I have a lot i’ve added to the list or posted prior from my list

Tord Ottum - Researcher

5’0” (short king) Loves krill and sea life. Has one metal/fake tooth that shows when he smiles. Stress eats, often takes food from the fridge without thinking about it when he’s stressed, has snatched edd’s bacon so many times Caffeine sensitive makes it feel like his hearts going to explode, drinks decaf or hot cocoa Fraggle rock was his favorite childhood show love to chew ice cubes, the cronch Taps fingernails or pencils against a hard surface when nervous. left handed Likes buying anime figures but then dismantles them and ‘alters them’ so taking a cute anime girl and replacing her arms with crab claws. Old apartment/home was full of them. Likes slice of life anime and shows

  Mathias (Matt) Fuchs - Researcher 5’7” Was transferred from his prior research station for a ‘misconduct issue’ Pomegranate is his favorite fruit Likes health foods/mostly prefers juice to coffee Snappy temper Dislikes being wrong Only child/spoiled pretends to be a dainty eater but pigs out in private Moves like dancing while doing work, the wiggles when he’s focused Hums a lot when thinking Will sell you out for a corn chip Hates when people make jokes about his last name, and gets very snappy about it. Has a mean throwing arm. Brought way too much stuff to the station. Has a label maker and labeled every one of his items, and keeps tick marks on the bottles to keep track of exactly how much is left. Hogs the bathroom and will spend hours in there. Tom would have to take apart the door to get him out sometimes

  Edd Shiver - Equipment Manager 6’2” From liverpool england Former rugby player Action films especially die hard/james bond Likes cola and cherries Has a lot of siblings/rowdy Smuggles weed into facility Has three tattoos one on his neck, one elsewhere takes huge bites of food/steals off peoples' plate. Drinks directly from the bottle, avoids using Glasses. Also puts practically empty bottles back in the fridge, fucking goblin man Believe in Magic l just thinks it’s neat/Superstitious embarrassing photos in wallet Heavily into sports especially football and rugby. Liverpool F.C. is his favorite team. Does little pranks around the station, like replacing the coffee with bisto, and other bastard antics

Tom Palmer - Mechanic

5’11 Trans rights babyyyy Ran a mechanic shop with his father and got into specialized equipment Plays saxophone too Horror movie fanatic From the US Only child/single dad Shabby cook, take out king Actually likes the taste of slightly burnt foods/over crisped Comfort item his fluffy lined jacket.

Eduardo Rivera -  Senior researcher 5’9” Loves one (fool) His favorite football team is Edd’s rival team. Manchester United Black coffee Enjoys mint/mint chocolate Can fall asleep anywhere Favorite animal is manatee Bites his nails especially when thinking Afraid of clowns, will punch a clown

Jon Hartman - Research Analyst/Data Entry 6’0” Extremely clumsy /constantly in bandaids Good with numbers Likes musicals Handles data analytics and double checks over peoples research for clerical errors Loves almonds /marzipan treats counts the number of chews before swallowing & tallies steps taken while strolling habitual /routines in some actions Picks at strings/pulls frays Most harmless pranks ever thinking he’s ‘chaotic’/like saying ‘no’ and then doing the thing anyways, or changing the color of a thing Has a lot of siblings/blended family, was the youngest sibling Likes lil number games, every morning with sudoku Gets anxious when he’s out of routine Really likes baking Todrick (Todd) Copper -  Site Medic   6’6” Port wine birthmark Blushy He loves citrus, u could bribe him with oranges and lemons back in the day

[zeppersart]

Favorite RE:V and/or DBH headcanons, if you have the time and energy? -🖤 (also I totally forgot I signed off my first anons to u with 💛 but I guess I'll use 🖤 anyways lol)

Okay, I really wanted to answer this but I’ve had work a lot recently but I’m home finally and have time!!

RE8 headcanons:

- Lady D is a Facebook mom and always posts pics of her daughters

- Lady D often reads books and shows pics/vids to her daughters since they’ve never been able to go outside cause of the cold. They love what she shows them

- Lady D is actually really sweet and caring when she isn’t slicing you up. She’ll call you ‘darling’ as she gently strokes through your hair to calm you if you’re crying. She’ll whisper in a gentle voice to let you know everything will be okay

- Beneviento loves art. She loves to draw and will often do portraits of Angie and her other dolls

- She’s very soft and wears a lot of cute black dresses

- Moreau needs hugs. He will desperately try to get hugs out of you

- He vomits when he’s overly excited

- PRAISE. Moreau needs praise. Constantly looking for approval from others, always feels like he isn’t good enough

- 4.7 inch dick

- Heisenberg is a top

- Heisenberg will use a metal dildo on you from afar

- Heisenberg can be quite soft but it’s also foreign to him and he can never quite get the whole ‘comfort’ thing right because nobody’s ever shown him comfort. He will do his best

- Hugs with him are awkward cause he never knows what to do

- He’s fully experienced in sex tho. He learnt from his machines ;)

- Heisenberg has a 7 inch dick

- Miranda is also a Facebook mom

- Always posts pics of her child who she’s a lil obsessed with everyone knowing about

- Obnoxious outfits

DBH:

- Connor, like Moreau, also loves praise

- (because I ship Hankcon) he will often try to talk Hank out of unnecessary drinking by bribing him with cuddles and walks

- Connor can be quite shy depending on the AU

- Connor is very curious and if he’s a mermaid in a mermaid AU, he has a little collection of shells that he likes to look at and often will present them as gifts to ppl he loves/appreciates

- He loves working in the police alongside Hank

- As a machine, he’s very daddy. Like in that scene with the three androids in the news tower where he will throw abuse and shit, that kinda daddy hotness

- he has a 5 inch dick

- Hank is a very good dad but if he’s had a hard day at work, he will snap at times but always apologises after

- He will do anything for his son Cole, even if it costs a lot of money

- He can be very mean in a sexy way

- Hank mostly wears hoodies and sometimes Connor likes to steal them

- Hank favourite food are burgers

- Hank has a 6.5 inch dick

- Nines is very stern but very loving and affectionate too

- He always tries to keep things under control and rarely loses himself

- He doesn’t handle deviancy well at first and will grow increasingly stressed and angry the more people point it out

- He has a close relationship to Connor and they both help each other out through deviancy

- Nines likes to use whips on people

- Nines is a brat tamer

- Nines has a 7 inch dick

- Nines (because I ship reed900), always tries to feed Gavin healthy food

- Gavin always refuses healthy food because it tastes ‘bad’

- his favourite food is spaghetti bolognese

- Gavin likes rock music

- Gavin likes to try to top Nines just so Nines will pin him down and put him in place

- Gavin loved caramel syrup in his coffee

- Gavin is very jokey, likes to wind people up intentionally

- Doesn’t get on well with Hank

- Often ends up in Fowler’s office for ‘talks about his behaviour’

- He thinks hank is lazy because he always shows up late

- He’s often irritated because he’s always at work on time, always puts in his all yet hank who is quite lazy about his job is still Lieutenant

- he has a 6.5 inch dick

- Kamski is narcissistic and has a god complex

- Kamski will tie you up for hours and leave you with a vibe

- Kamski likes it when you say his name during sex because hearing that he’s so good at making you feel good turns him on

- Sometimes he’ll even moan his own name

- He expects to be called ‘mister’ or ‘sir’

- Kamski has a 7 inch dick

[knullanon]

Hey so I would like to request u know how anxious has the whole Dc yan fam well I would like to request just yan batfam, yan superfamily, yan green arrow, yan ra's al ghul, and yan lex luthor all platonic. But like how they met what makes them different if they kidnaped and how ya know. You don't have to do this if it's is to much

Your Friend

-🌹

omg thank you for sending in the request!!! here it is, sorry it wasn’t fast enough lmao!

The batfam

These bitches would find you probably on the street tbh. Like maybe it's on patrol, maybe they saw you while doing day to day activities, and honestly, I think Bruce would be the one to find you. Not to be cliche but i'm pretty sure he's the only one who would think “hmm. It's a child alone on the street. Adopt.” and then just take you.

They would totally take you during the night. You would probably just be walking down a street and they would just snatch you up. I don’t think they would knock you out just as they get you, but they would probably give you some kind of drug to “calm down”.

After you get settled in, it would be like a breeze. Nothing to worry about, food being delivered whenever, and you even got like, 12 kids to keep you company,

As for the ones who would bond with you immediately, it would definitely be Cass, Duke, Tim, Dick (obviously), and Jason (surprisingly).

The superfam

OOF- bitch you’re fucked. Jon probably saw you at school or walking home from school and he took a photo like “:D look! She's friend shaped!!” and almost immediately they would be like “well a new daughter wouldn’t hurt”.

To the kidnapping, either jon or clark would be the ones to get you, maybe even both. Maybe Jon would try to befriend you beforehand to gain your trust. Maybe even (yes i’m gonna include kon why bc i can) Kon would try to talk to you and gain your trust. Maybe meet you at a restaurant and be like “hello, my name is Kon, what’s yours?” If I remember correctly, Kon is sociable so he's obviously gonna be the one to talk more n stuff

After they got you, they probably gave you your own room and tbh I don’t think they would be very worried about you running away, because 1, they are on a farm who the fuck are you gonna call lmao, 2, they are fast. You’re not gonna get very far, and 3, they would act like you were always there. Like you were always a part of their family. And it's a really good act too. They are always honest, so it's not hard to fake their happiness. If you act confused, they’ll act like they need to bring you back to the doctor, as Lois says, “Did that concussion really do something else?”. These bitches WILL manipulate you.

As for the ones who would bond with you immediately… yeah, it’s all of them.

Green Arrow

Honestly pretty chill guy when you first meet him. It's at a coffee shop, and he's asking for a coffee. You give it to him and you’re really nice to him. He decides to go back, just for you. He meets you again and you’re kind of weirded out, but like, he's so nice! And he tips. He tips very well. 

Kidnapping you was a big ass plan he had and somehow it worked. He “hired'' someone into trying to rob you, he never said why, and it was so he could ruin that person's career. Then, he would swoop in to save your ass at the last minute. Then he would say, “Sorry I’m late” and beat the shit out of the guy. Then he would take you.

Since he's rich, he would like, pay for everything. You want some chips? Payed. You want oreos? Payed. You want to go home? Well, you can’t have that, but you can have some more food. I honestly think that he would try to emotionally manipulate you. Like, you were touch starved wherever you were from? Not on his watch. You don’t like the sound of doors slamming? He will make sure to softly close doors. Honestly he's like a normal dad except he won’t let you leave and is really protective.

He would definitely bond with you immediately because he's the one who kidnapped you lmao

Ra’s Al Ghul

Yeah you aren’t getting away from this asshole. He travels alot for “business” and he probably saw you walking with your friends and then he was like “oh my god its a child.” “Yes, it's a child, master, what about her?” “i must have her.” Then boom, new dad. Well, not yet, he would spy on you for a while, but  eventually he would have to come up with a plan to get you.

He would corner you in your house. It would look like someone trying to give a cat some food to bribe them but instead it’s an immortal cult leader and a young girl trying to get some dino nuggets. Will just shove you in a limo and act as though you are the center of the world. “Well of course you can sleep on the bed, who else is it for?” “You’re not a prisoner- well, no you can’t leave the mountain but you can watch the news.” “I will not tolerate this behavior young woman- you are already a young woman, yes, yes you are-”

Honestly like I said above, he would just totally act like a dumbass. His main instinct was to adopt but now it's like “shit what do i do.” he's kind of lenient with some things, and others he's not. Like oh, you forgot to close the cabinet after you got food, no deal, but then you leave the door open and he's like, “????? WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING??????? I’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING YOU WOULD HAVE EVER WANTED AND YET YOU STILL TRY TO LEAVE-” yeah it's a guessing game but other then that he's kinda normal with things.

Just because I like her so much, Talia would definitely bond with you immediately, no questions asked. Like when she heard her father had gotten a new kid she was like “goddamn it who is it now” and then she saw you and was like “i’ve only had ______ for a minute and 35 seconds, but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

Lex Luthor

Once while watching the news he saw you walking about with your friends and so he tracked you down to find out where you lived and who you were with etc. He probably then realized that he liked you a lot, so then he was like “Mercy prepare a room for a teenage girl, I’m about to go get a daughter.” 

Kidnapping plan was genius, deadass just had a bunch of his men take you and hide any evidence. If your family asked or tried to report it, they would get paid off, and if they continued, then, well… 

He would most likely be busy for like 2/4 of the day, but he would always try to make time for bonding with you. When these little “bonding sessions” first started, he would sit in one corner while you would sit in the other. After a while he got closer, and closer, until he was able to sit next to you. In the dad lex fic I had written, the reader had gotten a concussion so they kinda forgot about what happened before they met Lex (they got it during the kidnapping if you’re wondering). He honestly believes he was your father and nothing can stop him from believing so.

Again, mercy would hate you at the beginning, but like after a month, she thought you were fine, and then after a while she would start to grow fond of you.

[puppetsoftomorrow]

the avalance news reader au

hey who said peer pressure doesn't work. anyway i made this post and y'all seemed to like it so here we go!! might post to ao3 later on idk...

It had been a truly terrible day.

Ava considered, in the moment that her coffee machine spluttered coughed up coffee grounds over her last clean shirt, that maybe she'd just had a truly terrible year. All her dreams about finally moving to television after being stuck in the doldrums of local news media for six years had been slashed when she'd been placed on the graveyard shift - sure, Ava was finally reading the news, but her shift was from 1AM until 4AM, so her only audience was long-distance truck drivers and new parents.

Still, she persevered, with the slightly foolish belief that if she worked hard enough, she could be promoted to a primetime slot. Or at least a slot that didn't require her to be making coffee at 10:45PM.

Her day had started off badly - she'd barely slept, as the sound from the construction work three blocks away rattled her windows, and she’d woken to find that her cat, Merlin, had kicked his litter halfway across the house in a fit of pique. Ava couldn't even have her normal oatmeal, as she was out of oat milk, and now she was having to drink her coffee black.

After changing her shirt to a dark dress and grimacing as she choked down the coffee, there was a knock on the door, and Ava groaned as she realised she was running late.

"Hey, Sara." She sighed.

Sara stood in the doorway, hair wavy over her shoulders, hands shoved in the pockets of her hoodie - the same grey hoodie she wore every day, branded with their news station's logo.

"Woah, a dress?" Sara said, eyebrows raised appreciatively, as Ava grabbed her coat and bag and they moved to go down the stairs.

"Don't mention it." Ava grumbled, pulling the coat around her shoulders.

"It looks good on you." Sara said, and Ava shot her a look. Sara mimed zipping her lips. "Do we have to time for Starbucks? I had to have black coffee; my mouth tastes like something died in it." Ava muttered, and Sara shrugged.

"I mean, we've arrived half an hour early for every shift for the past year -"

"Do you want to go back to taking the bus?" Ava said, looking over at her as they reached the lobby. They'd discovered they lived in the same building almost accidentally in Ava's first week, awkwardly meeting across the hall in the early morning, until Sara had realised that Ava had a car and they'd started riding in together.

"Fine, if you're happy with having bad angles." Sara said, holding the door open for her, and Ava rolled her eyes.

"Are you saying I have bad angles?"

"Oh, I'll find one." Sara muttered, and Ava snorted with laughter and unlocked the car. One of the benefits to giving her camera operator a ride every day was always having excellent angles.

After a stop at Starbucks, Ava rolled along the dark, quiet roads, sighing deeply.

"What's up?" Sara asked, sipping her drink - black coffee, which she somehow enjoyed.

"Nothing." Ava muttered, but it only took one look at Sara for her to come out with the story of her crappy day. Sara laughed.

"So that's why you're wearing the dress."

"That's what you're focusing on?" Ava said, focusing on the road with a small smile on her face. "I have to go back to my apartment at 5AM and clean up kitty litter and coffee grounds."

"Not to mention getting coffee out of your shirt." Sara snorted, and Ava groaned, loud and over the top.

///

They always split when they got to the studio, Ava marching off to make-up to get ready, and Sara taking the elevator to the studio floor to set up her camera. The studio was always dead past midnight, just a skeleton crew left, which Sara found she enjoyed - it was easier to know everyone that way. She waved at Nate, distracting him from where he was running through the weather, muttering under his breath and checking his perfectly coiffed hair in the camera. He waved back, a bright smile on his face.

Careful not to trip over any of the wires on the floor, Sara made her way up to the box above the studio, the cramped room filled from head to toe with blinking lights and buttons, with a large window so they could look down on the studio. The techs – Behrad and Charlie - were sat with headphones on, running through sound checks, so Sara just waved to them as she found who she was looking for.

Zari, the studio runner, was running through her clipboard, muttering under her breath. When she saw Sara coming, she rolled her eyes. "Back again?"

"What have you got for her today?" Sara asked, keeping her voice nonchalant.

"The usual. Some city councilor has been embezzling funds, Star City is readying to bid for the 2028 Olympics, and former mayor Queen is opening a patisserie down-town. It's been a quiet week."

"Exactly." Sara said, her grin widening. "You've got to add the cat one."

Ray, their head writer, had found a story a week ago about a fat cat attending the Star City pet spa to lose weight, and Sara had been tracking down clips of the poor thing, bribing the editor, Nora, to pull them together. She'd even written a script. Zari looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Seriously?"

"Yes! I have a bet going with Mick - if I can get Ava to break on camera by the end of the month, he's got to give me $50." Sara said. It was ridiculous, she'd started the bet - truthfully, she found it endearing how Ava read the news with the same abject sternness whether she was covering a political scandal or a dog who'd learnt to surf in Star City Bay. She'd only broken her composure once - a smile creeping on her face when reporting on the 5th birthday of a crocodile at Star City Zoo named Snaps. From that day on, Sara had vowed to make her laugh, properly, live on air.

"I don't have any time to make up." Zari said, and Sara sighed.

"Yeah, but you know Ava reads quick enough. Please? For me?"

Zari seemed immune to the puppy eyes, so Sara sighed. "And I'll give you $20."

Zari snorted. "Do you have $20?"

"I'll have $50 when I win the bet." Sara countered, and Zari sighed.

"Fine. I'll see what I can do."

"Z, you're the best." Sara said with a grin, and turned to return to the studio floor.

///

The program went smoothly, like always. Sara liked her job, the focus of filming and the pride she got when she saw her own work on TV, but she liked it better when she was filming Ava, who had pretty much insisted from day one that Sara be her primary operator.

Ava looked especially pretty today, someone in make-up evidently having convinced her that she didn't need the bun today, and instead curled her hair over both shoulders, which didn't completely cover Ava's defined arms, visible in her sleeveless dress.

The night ran the same as most others, Ava transitioning smoothly between topics and engaging in light, courteous banter with Nate before he presented the weather. Sara looked at Ava during these moments, the five minutes she was off camera, where she looked down at her notes, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.

Okay, so maybe Sara wanted to make Ava laugh because she looked so pretty doing it. Sue her.

They were coming near the end, and Sara was losing hope that the story would be included, until she heard the segue.

"Now, in lighter news," Ava started, her eyebrows suddenly shooting up as she read the prompter. Sara grinned; Zari had obviously left this out of Ava's notes to inspire more of a reaction.

"Cats," Ava blurted out, steadying herself before continuing, "they're not normally known for their love of swimming, but one feline in Star City is hitting the water instead of the gym in a bid to lose weight. Mr. Snuggles -" Ava bit her lip as the pictures played on the monitor - a black and white cat in a life vest, looking absolutely terrified, and Sara grinned. "Mr. Snuggles is a thirteen-year-old cat who - dislikes the outdoors and other physical activities."

Sara's grin widened as Ava lost it, barely making it through her lines through her giggles. Her face was flushing pink and she bit her lip to try and compose herself. "But with encouragement from his owner -" Ava pressed on, trying to hold herself together, "Mr. Snuggles had lost one pound in six months."

That was the final straw, as Ava descended into a full-on laugh, barely making it through her sign off. Sara was so distracted by the sound she nearly missed Zari's voice in her ear. "Camera 1 to Camera 3 in 3, 2, 1 -"

Sara switched off, but not before Ava snorted, flushing even deeper and covering her face with her hands at the sound, not disguised by the jingle from the lottery numbers playing across the screen.

///

Ava had bolted from the set, and Sara packed up her equipment as quickly as possible, ducking out just in time to catch Ava as she walked down the corridor to the lobby. Her face was now free of make-up, her hair tied up in a messy bun, but she was still in the dress that left Sara's mouth a little dry. She looked at Sara, blushing again.

"I can't believe you did that." She groaned, and Sara put on her most innocent face on.

"Did what?"

"Bribed Zari to put the cat story in! John in make-up said that Charlie had told him that you'd bribed Zari."

"To win $50!" Sara said, grinning. "And you have a really cute laugh."

Ava looked up; eyebrow furrowed. "Really?"

"Yep." Sara said, trying to play it cool. "Look, do you want half? I feel bad now."

Ava sighed. "No, it's okay."

"I could buy you dinner." Sara said, almost blurting it out, and Ava looked at her. "To make up for it."

Ava's mouth quirked up in a smile. "Uh - yeah, okay. I can do dinner."

~the end~

okay so this was fun to write and i kind of want to write more so uhh send me where u think this story should go. or ideas for a part 2 maybe. thanks for reading!!

[hiccanna-tidbits]

okay, okay but hear me out!

Hiccanna, Moanida and Jackunzel (and maybe someone else if u want) going on a holiday trip together (it could be sea or lake or just swimming pool).

And that three couples playing "chicken fight game"~ When u have to sit on partner shoulder or ridding piggy-back and knock down or separate the other couple!

sksksks just imagine the fun and the chaos!! hahaha

Okay SO I recently watched Palm Springs so I’m just imagining The Gang going to like…a fancy pool resort in like Arizona??? SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT

I’m imagining the only resort the gang could afford to stay at is someplace out in the middle of Arizona or something

It takes a LOT of persuading to get Jack to go, because he haaaaates deserts. Rapunzel basically has to beg. Moana finally managed to bribe him with really good homemade ice slushies. (She’s used to making smoothies for Merida, so how hard can slushies be??? Just throw in some ice!)

Rapunzel offers to help Moana with the slushies, since she gave Jack SO many puppy dog eyes to get him to come. Since they’ve got two people working on them, they’re REALLY good slushies. Jack approves.

Anna also tries to convince Elsa to go, but the perpetually-single Elsa is just like “Um, deserts? Sunburns? Being indefinitely stuck with gross couples doing gross couple stuff?!? Yeah no thank you”

Hiccup tries to wake everyone up at like 6 am to go hiking because "that's when the desert iguanas are out guys!!! C'mon, we have to go!!!" Anna is only persuaded to go after Hiccup makes her coffee--she really wants to make her bf happy, but also mornings can suck her dick. Rapunzel is more than happy to go, because she loves mornings anyways!!! And oh my god, IGUANAS!!! Jack, Merida, and Moana are like "oh FUCK no" and put the pillow back over their head, shoo Hiccup away, and go back to sleep.

On their hike, Hiccup just goes "!!!!!!!" about every reptile he sees. Snake, lizard, horny toad, literally anything with scales will send the boy into an excited frenzy. Rapunzel has similar reactions. Anna could not love both of them more.

At one point, they stumble across a gila monster sunbathing, and Rapunzel is overtaken with the unwavering desire to adopt him. She gets Hiccup on board, and he tries to lure the lizard over with a dusty piece of a snake carcass he found (Anna tried to tell him he really shouldn't touch that, but he was not to be swayed and Anna ended up figuring he could just wash his hands really well when they got back). Anna finds herself in the unusual position of having to be the Voice of Reason, having to be like “hey uh I think this might be illegal and stuff??? Also aren't they poisonous???”

(I know what you're thinking. Bold of you to assume Anna knows the difference between poisonous and venomous.)

Rapunzel literally CANNOT stop gushing to Jack about all the wildlife she saw when she gets back! Jackrabbits! Kangaroo rats! Roadrunners! Peccaries! Centipedes! Jack has only mild to moderate interest in desert ecology, but loves hearing his gf gush so he listens attentively anyways. 

Anna and Rapunzel definitely hit up the gift shops in the resort town at some point, and go ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT HOGWILD buying gifts for everyone. They probably max out their credit cards. It's embarrassing, really. But Anna gets Hiccup an absolute shitton of those little wall lizard things and he nearly cries tears of joy when he sees them, so it's all worth it, really.

Moana will not leave the pool like. The entire time. The girl is just obsessed with being in the water, honestly. She gets restless, though, and can't just stand in the pool and vibe--she needs to constantly be moving and swimming around or she'll explode. Merida is more than happy to indulge her by hanging out in the poor with her, but Merida is also constantly challenging her to swim races--a very dumb idea, considering Moana is on the high school swim team and water polo team. Merida, naturally, is an extremely sore loser and is not above excessive pouting, splashing, yelling in angry Scottish, and dunking her girlfriend in revenge. It's at least entertaining for all of their friends to watch.

Jack keeps fucking taking huge buckets of ice from the ice machine and dumping them in the pool. At first he only does this because he keeps griping about the pool not being cold enough (this boy will accept nothing less than sitting in the goddamn arctic ocean), but after her figures out that it pisses off his friends, he takes to pouring said ice directly over their heads. Merida has threatened to murder him several times for this.

Hiccup and Anna's main pool activity is just lazing around on their pool floaties (Anna has a duck one, Hicccup has a dragon one because obviously), sipping cocktails, and just generally vibing. Through some ungodly mixture of pure charisma and a fake ID that Rapunzel helped photoshop, Jack manages to talk his way into getting the whole group access to alcohol. Hiccup is a sangria or Moscow Mule kinda guy while Anna usually gets a Pina Colada or a Sex on the Beach (she's aspec, so she literally will not stop joking about the irony of this). Merida makes a game out of attempting to tip over their floaties and dunk them. Jack, chaos gremlin that he is, puts aside his usual rivalry with Merida to join in. They have a surprisingly strong dunking alliance.

Hiccup and Anna try to form a syndicate of their own, and try to lounge on the same floatie so that they can protect each other while fighting off Jack and Merida together. Unfortunately neither of their floaties were made to hold 2 peoples' weight, so the one they're on ends up tipping over, spilling their cocktails everywhere and dunking them anyways. Jack and Merida consider this a Win By Default.

Moana of course loops everyone into playing water polo at some point. Unfortunately some idiot decided it would be a good idea to let Merida of all people pick the teams, which means of course that they are incredibly rigged. It's Moana, Merida and Anna vs. Jack, Rapunzel, and Hiccup, so basically The Jocks vs. The Nerds (although admittedly Anna is more of a softcore jock--she's nowhere near on Moana or Merida's level, but she's still more naturally athletic than Hiccup, Rapunzel, or Jack). Naturally, Jock Team absolutely whoops Nerd Team's ass. Jack gets salty and demands a rematch. ...Jock Team kicks Nerd Team's ass again.

Throughout all of this, no one thinks to just...rearrange the teams a little. Merida was counting on this. All according to plan.

In the titular chicken game (yes, I remembered, don't worry!), it's Merida on Moana's shoulders (Moana swims and has a lot of upper body strength, what can I say?), Hiccup on Anna's shoulders (I mean...Hiccup's a twig, and Anna HAS to have a fair amount of upper body strength from throwing busts around and punching men off boats and such), and Punz on Jack's shoulders (Jack's pretty lithe and good at keeping his balance while jumping around, so he's their best candidate for not just falling over).

Jack and Rapunzel actually manage to stay in the game longer than anyone expects--their primary strategy is “be good at dodging and staying out of the way while Merida and Hiccup duke it out.” And it works! As limber as Hiccup is, Anna's not nearly as coordinated as Jack and is no match for Moana's sturdy footing. Also, neither Anna nor Hiccup are prepared for how goddamn ruthless and determined to win Merida is. Even though they really, really should have been. I mean...have you met Merida???

When it comes down to Merida-Moana and Rapunzel-Jack, Mer feels a little bad for having to go up against Pure Sweet Punzie. Unfortunately, Rapunzel turns out to be a very hardcore fighter when she puts her mind to it, and Merida is much more evenly matched than she initially thought and realizes she must use her Full Power. It definitely helps her snap out of Going Soft when Jack starts brutally roasting Merida in particular (as per usual). Merida gets a rage-fueled Second Wave, and finally manages to knock Rapunzel over in one foul swoop. Merida and Moana are victorious!

Moana and Merida basically always shower together after a day at the pool. They claim it's because they both know how to handle curly hair in chlorine, and just like to wash each other's hair, but the rest of the gang is pretty sure that's not all that's going on in there.

One day, Anna hits up the resort town alone to buy some kind of secret gifts for her friends with what little money she has left (this girl seriously has no chill when it comes to buying presents).  She goes past this huge, fancy ice cream shop and she's like “!!!! OMG!!! I'm gonna surprise all my buddies with pints of their faves!!!” She just gets super hyped and buys everyone ice cream, getting so caught up in the thrill of it that she forgets that she'll have to like. Drive all this back all the way back to the resort in the rental car. In like. You know. 110+ degree weather.

By the time she gets back to the resort, the ice cream is, of course, goop. Poor Anna, feeling incredibly dumb and like an utter failure of a friend, just kind of bursts into tears. Like damn. This is too much. She was gonna make all her pals so happy, and all for naught! Jack just kinda shrugs and throws all the melted ice cream cartons in the freezer anyways. Once they're (partially) re-frozen, Rapunzel and Moana make slushies with them. They actually come out pretty decent. Anna is substantially cheered up.

Moana prepares some tropical fruit platters for everyone to snack on. Rapunzel tries to “improve” them by adding chocolate sauce and nutella to half of them. Sometimes it works (I mean...bananas and strawberries with chocolate and/or nutella is pretty solid). Other times it just tastes...very weird. Merida gest frustrated and yells at Rapunzel for “ruining all of her girlfriend's good mangoes.”

Jack just thinks this whole thing is so funny, and decides to swap the chocolate sauce with barbecue sauce to cause further chaos. Absolute mayhem ensures. Everyone has a bad time. Except for Anna, who apparently is just a freak who enjoys eating pineapple slices dipped in barbecue sauce.

At some point, Merida gets really drunk on appletinis or some shit and signs the entire group up for a local archery competition. Much to everyone's chagrin, it's no refunds. Naturally, basically everyone sans Merida does terrible. Rapunzel and Hiccup very nearly shoot themselves, while Jack and Anna come very close to  accidentally shooting a group of referees (although Jack might have done this on purpose). Moana gets the farthest, if only because Merida's taught her how to shoot a bow at some point. Merida actually ends up winning--although unfortunately, the prize is $20 and a very cheap plastic trophy (which Merida STILL manages to find a way to break before the trip is even over).

The rest of the group is much more amicable to the concept of going on hikes when said hikes are in the evening. Hiccup and Rapunzel are still excitedly chattering about the local ecosystems the entire time, and Jack and Anna are just kind of looking at their nerdy SOs like “<3 <3 <3″ Moana and Merida, meanwhile, are just kinda vibing in the back, passively listening in and watching the desert sunset.

Rapunzel manages to capture Mer and Mo's interest and gets them to participate more with geology, of all things. Merida just thinks rocks are cool (especially when they can be thrown at people bothering her!), while Moana likes learning about the physical history of places--how water can carve out landscapes, and all that. Hiccup and Jack just kind of exchange a look like “I had no idea that they were into rocks, but...the more you know, I guess???”

Jack makes fun of every reptile they see, mainly to piss Hiccup off. Unfortunately it has the opposite effect, and Hiccup can't help but be entertained--mainly because Jack's insults are so weirdly specific and over-the-top that they loop around to being hilarious. Seriously, he keeps saying shit like “Those are the lamest scales I've ever seen. Absolutely drab, and not nearly shiny enough to prove that nature is beautiful. 0/10.” and “Ohhhh, this fucking rattlesnake think's he's so scary, with his dumb percussion instrument tail!!! I could be more intimidating with a mean look and a large pair of maracas!”

At some point, a bunch of tourists riding donkeys pass them. Anna, Rapunzel, and Merida just absolutely lose their shit fangirling over how cute the donkeys are, thus exposing all three of them as the unabashed Horse Girls they are. Hiccup, Jack, and Moana find this extremely amusing, and definitely aren't above teasing their girlfriends about it. Hiccup asks if next time they take a couples' vacation, the Horse Gang (as Moana insists on nicknaming them) would like to go to a ranch instead.

Anna gets like. Obsessed with palm trees. Like they're just so pretty and exotic and tropical!!! OMG!!! And they definitely don't have them wherever the gang is from in this AU. (Also if griping about Elsa not having "tropical powers" is anything to go by, she DOES canonically like the tropics!) She has to take a picture of like...every palm tree on her phone. And considering the gang is in Arizona, that means Anna is stopping to take a picture like...every 2 minutes. Rapunzel catches onto the fact that Anna likes them, and paints her a picture with some when Punz has the time. Anna definitely cries when she sees it. Hiccup can't do nearly that good, but he does buy her some little plastic figurine ones in a gift shop that she can put in her room. Anna also cries about this. She just cries whenever any of her friends indulge her random fixation on palm trees. Surely she doesn't deserve such niceties!!!

Rapunzel is just. In love with the desert landscape tbh. Like the huge funky cacti!!! The shrubs!!! The desert wildflowers!!! The mesas!!! All of it!!! So of course she needs to pull out her easel and paint it. Jack walks by one day and sees her working on it and, partly just to troll her, he's like “put some snow in it!” As he walks away, Rapunzel just stops like “wait...that'd actually be such a great idea for a surrealist-type fantasy piece!!!” After she finishes the main landscape, she adds an overcoat of little puffs of snow on top of everything, and has some clumps falling off of the cacti. When she shows Jack, he just about cries tears of joy, but frantically tries to hide it. She gives the painting to him as a present at the end of the trip. He hangs that shit front-in-center in his room and cherishes it forever and ever.

At some point, Jack gets the ingenious idea that he's going to prank Merida by catching a tarantula and leaving it in her room. It's one of the harmless ones--Jack fact-checks this by offhandedly asking Hiccup and framing it as a casual interest in local etymology. Still, Merida screams far louder than is at all dignified, and also probably loud enough to wake a neighboring country. Rapunzel later has to physically hold Merida back to keep her from absolutely beating Jack into a pulp. Rapunzel also manages to get the World's Largest Sheet of Cardboard and the World's Largest Cup and somehow manages to get the damn thing back outside.

[combat-wombatus]

crack class 1-a headcanons part 2

ajdfhlakjh this is my go-to remedy for writer’s block now just pump out the crack till my belly hurts-

ok so we all know shinsou’s like sleep-deprived right

i think he used to HATE the smell and taste of coffee

but after he discovered what cat cafes were

he bought coffees just so he could play with the cats

and now he likes coffee

elaborating on that

he visits cat cafes a lot

aizawa took shinsou with him to a cat cafe once bc like...he wanted some coffee and shinsou wanted to tag along and now shinsou’s hooked and refuses to go with aizawa (they go separately instead) because aizawa hogs all the cats (they like him better than shinsou for some reason)

he vibes with shoji and tokoyami

he’s like...the in-between

shoji’s pretty blunt and chill, minimalistic, while tokoyami is...goth and elaborate. shinsou’s a happy medium

he vibes with jirou’s music. they have basically the same music taste except shinsou also sprinkles in some indie

u can bribe ochaco. not to do anything insane, ofc, but she’s...bribe-able. 

for example, let’s say you wanted to play a prank on bakugou. you take a bucket, fill it with ice water, and balance it precariously on the doorframe using the help of ochaco’s quirk. 

if you give her mochi, she’ll press her fingertips together at a...*ahem* convenient time

oops! water goes *splash*. bakugou is soaked.

she lowkey likes playing these pranks too

momo listens to classical music when she’s studying

it just kinda helps her concentrate u know?? lyrics make her distracted sometimes and especially if she’s studying with jirou they’ll burst into impromptu singing so it’s not really a great idea to play music other than instrumental songs

bakugou listens to anime theme music when he’s studying u will pry this headcanon out of my cold dead hands

he’s actually a weeb but he will DIE before he tells anyone abt it

well kirishima probably knows but he sure didn’t tell him willingly

“hey bakubro, is that Demon Slayer?” points to tab opened on bakugou’s computer

“what?? hell no. you blind, shitty hair?? that’s just an ad-” 

kiri leans forward and clicks on the tab

“what were you saying, bakubro??”

it’s ok now they just talk about it together

god forbid denki hear about it

he’ll never let bakugou live it down pls-

this has been sitting in my drafts and gathering dust for so long 😭 just gonna bite my tongue and post it bc i literally have nothing else for y’all i’m sorry-

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[desafia]

in honor of @seesgood​ always saying i only do painful headcanons here are some random things about mags that aren’t heart-wrenching:

— she has the world’s worst sweet tooth.  10/10 can be bribed into anything with cupcakes on the line. she will sell u to satan for some good fried bananas — despite being a sugar addict,  she enjoys plant-based dishes more than meat. — she puts her hair in space buns when she’s painting — loves coffee but it can make her a little hyper.  she can do cute latte foam art.  — her love language is definitely touch and she’s very tactile with anyone she cares about in any kind of dynamic.  — because art was the only thing she was allowed to do in her captivity,  she spent most of her free time perfecting all kinds of styles.  when she painted murals on her cell walls she did them in van gogh inspired fashion because it looks the most magical to her.  — she’s a night owl.  she doesn’t sleep super well so she often just works on art or will sit by a window and watch the stars for hours.  it’s kind of like meditating for her.   — despite that,  she can and will nap anywhere at any time during the day.  — her abilities in some ways extend to animals. she’s very good at reading them and knowing how to form trust.  10/10 will bond with the crows.  — anyway she has anxiety if she watches the news because she had too many bad experiences with the politicians and bureaucrats that show up in headlines