#just mad that i wont be able to ever play it lol and i played too long to refund it so now itll sit there in my library and mock me forever

[brainworm-blitz]

RSD is so fucking embarrassing. I literally couldn't play THE game of the year that I was excited about because my hell brain got too overwhelmed when the characters were TOO lifelike and actually shut down for four weeks straight. Oh noooo the pixels on the screen hit the arbitrary code to be snarky or disapproving of my actions I guess I'll just die-- like how old am I, seven???

[goitale]

Any headcanons or scenarios abt jesstra angst? Because being a good gf and choosing petra at every possible scenario (tractor beam/witherstorm, underground build club, pama's mind control, spleef death, Petra's sword vs jack's eye, the admin's champion) unfortunately has the side effect of depriving you of a lot of narrative angst. Same goes for choosing the nice dialog options (e.g. being nice to petra in the portal hallway)

Gimme your darkest scenarios, I'm in the mood for general dismay and everything's-awful-and-on-fire stuff. What if all the things petra went through (withering away, mind controlled potentially two separate times) accumulated and ended up taking a toll on her physically to the point where she's not really able to fight anymore (the thing that most defines her) and is sort of disabled? incoming existential crisis maybe

youre so evil i love this but it will be SOOO LONG

SO. jesstra angst! i generally dont know of angst that can happen ingame lowkey besides, well, s2 e1 intro lol. so sorry they wont be that dark!! :( but even if all is well, þere will angst ripely around the corner if i can delusion it:

-portal arc, petra gets mad at jesse leading the way and either enters a different portal or enters none , when the others go through a portal, leading jesse to feel absolutely terrible for about a day, and then petra beats herself up over it for an ingame day, and this only heals after they get to talk in the mansion. and when they DO talk about it, petra tries to derail the topic and ignore her feelings. so jesse has to break through þat wall and kt makes petra sad and like just need jesses full support for a good minute. and if you fail to do that she walks off super upset and that doesnt really heal until they escape the mansion and petra feels on her own time she can talk and even then its so tense you wish you helped her more earlier. and jesse still has that guilt for an episode more :3

-alternatively instead of jesse worrying abt petra running off in s1, she gets hella mad and they immediately argue in ep3. þis sours þeir trust heavily and petra hides the withersickness, leading jesse to mostly just talk with the group about it. and then petra never reveals it. and then petra starts dying and then jesse regrets ever being mad at her wife and they only get a resolution after petra is like mostly dead. (the lack of mental/emotional support can worsen someones' physical state so thats why this makes sense!). so petra becomes mostly out of play for ep4 and ep5 and jesse has a constant reminder of breaking her and petra's trust which also weighs down on jesse making it hard to focus on fighting and whatnot :D and also petra insists on coming everywhere because she "wants to get active as soon as she's better" (she is actually terrified of dying alone and particularly without jesse) (every death screen/shot has petra in anguish in the background to hint at this) . also when petra is at her worst from þe withersickness she spills how she felt etc to jesse and how shes scared bc "oh no what do i have to live for" and after she's healed shes like "haha umm whatever i said thats totally just the withersickness getting to me" and its super healing to watch them bond ,,, i love þem :3

-for someþing þat doesnt make þem mad but instead in absolute depression,! jesse dies to the purple old man's games (i forgot his name again ). and so for a while, petra and jesse toil away in the mines. for a long time. until em or smth helps them out. but during þis long long time , it just gets uber depressing. and they try to rely on eachother but its just so bleak- its not even worþ it anymore. and jesse already knows tim is fake. so whats the point? -- this question ends up sparking some motivation in lukas and they escape with lukas leading the way out of misery. and then after they escape the games n stuff jesse feels terrible she couldnt do what lukas did and help them and petras like omg i feel the same way and they hold eachoþer up wiþ support wiþ a lack of support for þe self and its just so. sad. but petra being petra she immediately wants to hide it and jesses like can we pls chill out :( and þey end up hanging out togeþer and heal wiþ eachoþer !! BUT the focus of þis is þeir lack of anyþing during being in þe mines but idrk what to yap abt much now so uhhh imaginationn idk

OKAY i need to stop writing before i lose my mind in the angsty depths of jesstra holy cow. feel free to send another ask if you want more yaps!!!

and ofc, ty for the ask!

[battiegutz]

ok still not able to draw turts rn but i am gettin a bit of th fixation back so heres some rise headcanons;

donnie is average at best at video games but will play them for hours (the purple game was designed for him so im gonna say that it was specifically designed so he could beat it) meanwhile leo is cracked at games but will get distracted and switch between like 8 games within half an hour

mikey will often serve food for his brothers at different stages during the cooking process to accommodate their sensory issues and allergies, raph and him are usually the only ones who eat the "fully completed" recipe

raph hates cooked vegetables and thinks all vegetables should be crunchy as god intended. he has also eaten an entire watermelon in one bite before (with great difficulty)

leo and donnie convinced mikey that freddy fazbear was real when they were little but splinter made them apologize after mikey had a nightmare abt him appearing in the sewers and cried to raph abt it. donnie initially refused to apologize because "thats stupid the water down here would mess up his circuits" but mikey cried again and he felt rlly bad abt it

leo got into medicine because of april, one time when they were kids playing in the sewers she fell and scraped her knee and since she was like idk 6 and 6yr olds are stupid she started wailing and was like "the poopy water down here is gonna infect my cut and then theyre gonna cut my leg off and i wont be able to see you guys EVER AGAIN" nd leos like. WHAT!!!! just wholeheartedly believes her and donnies in the corner trying not to throw up. she was fine she just went home and washed it and got a bandaid but th turts were so scared bc she was like a day or two late to their usual playdate nd they thought she died. leo asked for "healing books" on his next birthday

mikey saw ppl getting duct taped to the wall online nd thought it was so cool he asked raph to do it but they had to have him face against the wall to not harm his shell and halfway thru he was like "this suck actually let me out" nd raph was like "no lol" nd left him up there for a while

leo fully believes quicksand is a common problem he will have to face

they would film their own "youtube videos" as kids bc they wanted to join in on the whole youtuber craze but didnt post them anywhere for obvious reasons. april had a great time showing them to jr post-movie despite all their embarrassment

they tried the ice bucket challenge on mikey and he almost went into brumation

donnie thought spongebob was real as a little kid and was super mad at splinter for like a day when he told him it wasnt

mikey will climb on top of raphs tail and have him drag him along (alligator tail raph real) raph will sometimes swish his tail and mikey has to hold on for dear life

[soulofamy]

spoilers for tekken 8's story and character endings under the tag! read at your own disgression. these are just my thoughts on it. for transparancy, i likely wont actually be able to purchase and play the game for the foreseeable future so i just watched a playthrough of it instead

so ill start with what i liked. i really liked that, unlike tekken 7, everyone on the roster to some degree was in the main story. i like that a good healthy handful of them even tried their best to aid the efforts against kazuya. it was really nice for me especially to see shaheen get to be cool and heroic. i dont want to hear ANYONE say hes boring ever again, you hear me?

i like the character endings as well, theyre so fun and lighthearted. i liked zafinas and shaheens the most. i surprisingly likes kazuyas and juns too, it makes me think he actually DOES love his wife to an extent. not enough for me to like him as a character unfortunately though lol.

i LOVED angel jin at the end. his design imo was phenominal. i love that they crossed an ethereal, otherwordly monster with a knight and gave him golden angel wings too. it was so visually captivating, i will be looking out for a character sheet to see what distinct features i can point out. i just love that they made an angel design so unique, there was nothing predictable or boring about it.

now things i didnt like

first off, i am SO mad that they killed off zafina AND claudio so early on. they were the two i was most interested to see!! i wanted to see their dynamic together!! but at least zafinas death made a little more sense than claudios. his death did absolutely nothing for the story! i thought maybe that hyper-charged up bolt he shot was going to slowly deteriorate kazuya overtime and weaken him enough that jin could take him one on one or something but NOPE! even zafina i felt didnt need to die. was it ever explained that her life force was connected to azazel? wouldnt it make more sense if she was free to be of MORE use now that azazel isnt holding her back? i never thought i would write tekken fanfiction but they have forced my hand. justice for my faves please </3

they did nothing with leo finding his mother and that makes me sad. its cool we got his dad though, he seems like a cool guy. i wouldnt mind his dad being a new fighter.

steve just kind of dropping the whole thing with nina also upsets me because like if you were going to make the ending to that whole thing so lackluster, why introduce it at all? nina clearly doesnt care and steve just kinda carries on, what was the point? why put nina through such a traumatizing experience of having a child against her will for such little payout?

lastly, i just really could not give two rats toenails about reina im sorry 😭 like visually shes boring. her personality is boring AND annoying. and then they try and make us want more by showing us this heihachi child is ALSO a devil. like i am so tired of the mishima saga that i dont care enough to wonder who her mother is. there are SO many loose ends that havent been tied up yet, i dont want a potential tekken 9 to focus on the mishimas anymore i am on my hands and knees begging

[solomons-poison]

my mc is EVIL. the moment he got pulled into the devildom its was immediate plots on how to one up this oddly handsome kidnapper. admitted he understood he wasnt actually a kidnapper by week 2 but still plays that card when putting a bucket of water on top of lucis cracked door. i think lulus conflicted on him... on one hand luci likes the rebels (mamon...) but on the other hand he Really dosent love him poking him when bored.

also the moment he got assigned to mams to be babysat you better BELIEVE he was trying to sneak off. wouldnt be surprised if my mc wasnt allowed to walk around without one of those toddler leash backpacks. Probably has bitten mams more than once and told mams that he has rabies... probably friends regardless tho mams just as chaotic.

i dont think him and levi really even meet. realistically levis holed up and my MCs not the type to start convos with Kidnappers people who dont start convos, and by time he figures he can chill its wayyy too awkward to try and be buddy buddy. missed connection via social awkwardness. Probably at least nod at eachother in the hallways though.

satan.. ok hes my fave so i want to say dating and bffs forever. being unbias is hard so i wont be <3 both are aloof and outside of causing problems, quiet. so between the terrorizing of luci and being able to sit in the same room four hours doing their own things without speaking and calling it bonding, they get along pretty well. Also my MC was raised with cats so he unintentionally does the slow blinky and headbutts . you know itd kill him. fostering kittens together saying its good looking for the exchange program but "secretly" just wanting to coo over kittens

azzy... it can go one of two ways. theyre either IN LOVE with eachother or REALLY want eachother dead. both are flamboyant. both can and will rock heels. both probably will kill a man in the name of love. makeup nails ect... they all share same interests even if only in passing, any hobby they share. now we know azzy loves himself, but it could wayyy easily be seen as trying to steal eachothers things and getting mad jealous over it. literal catfight. hard to say.

beel.. distant but still closer than levi. my MC isnt really a food person, nor a working out person. HOWEVER he does appreciate someone he can sit quietly next to. Also my mc would love to buy him snacks. always fun to pick up snacks when you rember someone likes that snack. might go on a jog with him once or twice and then 10 mins in act like hes dying just to be carried by the hunk tho.

belphie. ok . look assuming theres a proper redemption for the murder thing. like not just jumping from i hate you to i love you. theyd probably get along... both youngest... both EVIL... and again mc loves a good quiet time with someone. might get annoyed at all his sleeping,,, my mc isnt that energetic no, but still wants to like. do things. theres only so many times you can handle nap dates. also the "im the youngest baby me" rivalry would be something to behold.

i could do dateables too but we will be here All day.

anyways this is all to say in NB he's immediately abandoning the babysitting job to go do whatever he wants. once again luci has to bring out the toddler leash. also hes just an actual demon j with the soul of an angel. fills the role of mechivious non violent demon perfectly hence why no one ever stopped to ask if this dude that fell out of a hole in the middle of a tour is really a demon.

Your MC is a creature of chaos and I highly respect that LOL

Imagining him possibly biting Mammon is so funny, being absolutely feral, and the toddler leash, I love it so much

I think my favorite thing in the original Obey Me was finding out that (if it's true, I never ended up redoing my choices to see a difference), you would gain more intimacy points with Lucifer for choosing rebellious responses, versus obedient or neutral responses?? That was so funny to me. So you mentioning that Luci is conflicted on how to feel about your MC totally tracks. Like he doesn't really want some goody two shoes, but also he has his hands full with his brothers already, does there have to be another troublesome person to deal with?

My MC was also raised with cats and is a cat person, so I totally get the bonding with Satan very well. I love the idea of terrorizing Lucifer together with Satan haha

I love all of these and your reasonings, thank you for sharing ❤️

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[wonniesmile]

❥ playground! (ep. 1)

⤷ ellie’s moments in playground episode 1! (ft. txt <3)

⤷ bulletpoint format !

⤷ read ep. 2 here!

ellie was like...extremely nervous.

not only was it one of the first variety shows they were ever filming, but with TXT TOO??

she has been a massive fan of theirs since debut and she was quite literally starstruck seeing them in person.

they met backstage before the recording and she couldn’t move a muscle.

if you asked her to recall what happened before filming, i could guarantee you she wouldn’t be able to.

(she might have the tiniest crush on mr. choi beomgyu and the members tease her for it relentlessly.)

had to freestyle dance in front of everyone and could not keep a straight face bcs she was so nervous.

“she’s so cute!” (said by yeonjun himself)

at that point the poor girl’s heart almost stopped.

“i want ellie on my team!” (said by yeonjun yet again)

thinks her life flashed before her eyes at that very moment.

hey...do u remember when i mentioned her tiny crush on beomgyu? yep! as it turns out...jay actually forced her hands up for his team when picking groups!

great job jay! (from me of course...ellie was mad)

anyways, she tried pulling it back down, but obviously she gave up after remembering how strong he was lol.

so here she was...standing next to the one and only choi beomgyu...face literally tomato red (good thing makeup is a thing!)

“hey ellie-” , “don’t talk to me rn.”

that was her conversation with jay by the way, she was mad (at least on the outside, her heart was pounding very heavily on the inside).

“hi! i’m beomgyu, and you’re ellie right?”

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

he knows her NAME? HER DAMN NAME.

alright, ellie calm tf down.

“yeah! i’m a big fan of you guys!”

why in the hell would you say that? are you literally stupid-

“aw thank you! you’re very good at dancing, we should collab sometime!”

...

what?

no.

there’s no way that just-

wait...

come again?

“wh-? oh- uh- u-”

“she’d love to collaborate!”

thanks jungwon, she owes you one.

“yeah! what he said!”

good god, that was the most embarrassing thing she has ever experienced in her life.

back to the actual show, they were put into desks.

ellie tried sitting in between jungwon and taehyun, but of course, jay being the literal devil he is, forced ellie to sit next to beomgyu.

jungwon giggled and she gave him a death stare.

was red the entire time.

kinda carried the group, along with mr. yang.

knew all the questions during the quizzes and beomgyu would compliment her each time.

i think her ego went straight through the roof every time gyu complimented her.

she would make eye contact with sunoo from across the room and they’d both start laughing their butts off.

“why are you laughing so hard?” (jungwon)

“oh its nothing.” she says this as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

after the quiz missions, they had to do the blindfold challenge.

jay (being the annoying ass he is) tried to get ellie to do it with beomgyu, but she didn’t budge.

“you know you want to ellie~” (jay in a mocking tone)

“shut up.”

ended up doing it with jungwon.

giggled so much at the feeling.

held jungwons hands bcs she was “scared”.

“WHAT IS THIS.”

it was cold and- “HARMONICA!”

ellie won the round (as she most def should)

then it was time for the tennis game shat.

OH GOD. what a game.

they went second, after ni-ki, sunoo, yeonjun, and heeseung’s team, so they had time to prepare.

made “small talk” with beomgyu.

(it was literally just her blushing, nodding, and staring in awe the whole time, but beomgyu didn’t seem to mind.)

got really immersed in the game being played in front of them and started clapping every time the other team failed.

sucked at the game (oops).

they almost came in last, but thankfully, she had good teammates.

tripped on her own foot like 80,946 times, suprised she didn’t break a bone.

she would hear one of her members laugh from the sideline and she’d have to try so hard not to laugh.

the next game was ~easy~ as stated by ellie.

“we are the one!” beomgyu said in english, made ellie burst into laughter.

first word was crab, she got that one right (or at least the majority of her teammates picked the same one as her (majority=jungwon and taehyun)

if she was being honest, her team sucked at the game.

its alright though, it was fun.

she liked watching the other teams fail, it was so entertaining to her.

“JAKE ISN’T DOING THE SAME HAND!”

got really defensive for some odd reason.

others found it adorable.

sadly, the episode had to end there.

but THANKFULLY, they were gonna shoot more.

she said her ending ment. and threw finger hearts at the camera.

after the shooting for the first ep. ended, she became close to huening (after finding out he brought his nintendo switch).

they played for so long in the dressing room.

won every time...yep.

“WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD?” (this is hyuka as ellie is absolutely crushing his dreams)

“i dont know, hai.” (ellie with the biggest smug smile on her face)

“its her secret talent.” (heeseung mentions next to her)

“everyone, get ready for the next shoot!”

“darn, let’s play again later!” hyuka says.

ellie nods her head so aggressively (it legitimately almost snapped).

that pretty much sums up the first episode!

(someoneee got a little jealous with the whole beomgyu and ellie ordeal, but i wont name names rn...figure it out for yourself ;))

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Alphys Being Transgender Needs To Be Canon

(Spoilers For Chapter 2 in this, so don’t read if you haven’t beaten the game in the Pacifist Route)  

if you look up the development of Alphys,

you will find out that she wasn’t originally a female character

and she was originally suppose to be male, but was changed into female.

I think that Undyne would still love Alphys and know she was just following her heart and soul and being true to herself. 

so yeah I believe that both versions of Alphys in Undertale and Deltarune,

are technically Transgender and it should be made canon and be revealed in a future chapter of Deltarune.

also I want to mention I had a weird dream where I saw a lot of changelings from MLPFIM, but I think I said I wouldn’t be able to feed them.

guess it’s like me knowing I wouldn’t have enough love and I think I might of had thoughts before....

well if you think about it, the Changelings from MLPFIM might be technically   

Fairy-Ponies, well maybe....we know there are other types of equine besides the earth-pony, unicorn and pegasi.

like the “Sirens” that Stygian met, could of been Kelpie who took the forms of Siren-Ponies corrupted forms.

and those Kelpie had corrupted the Sirens they had copied the forms of,

and they end up as their scapegoats and banished to the human world.

the negative magic energy is what transforms the Siren-Ponies into their corrupted forms. 

so yeah I believe as soon as Stygian got back with help,

the Sirens were made the scapegoats for the Kelpies.

but anyway back to Alphys, I think it be a good idea that Alphys being a Transwoman is made canon.

and by the looks of Chapter 2, the canon of the ship between Undyne and Alphys is strong.

if it turns out that Susie doesn’t have parents, and it is just her and her unknown sister....and maybe other siblings.

then Undyne and Alphys can become Susie and her siblings new Moms.

well if Susie only has one sibling, then those two would just end up being the adoptive mothers of just Susie and her younger sister or older sister.

it be cute if Susie accidentally calls Alphys Mom in class.

Noelle might find it really sweet, Kris might well....

I think they might give a thumbs up.

and Berdly might go call “My Teacher Is Going To Be My Mother-In-Law” Panic.             

I hope just like the whole Pie turning out to be canon, it turns out Susie will do that in the future.......I can only hope.

Susie finding a family in Undyne and Alphys is my O.T.F.F.

which stands for One True Family Found.

it be nice if Susie becoming Alphys’s  adoptive daughter becomes canon in a future chapter, that would be awesome.

or if she already is, then maybe it will be revealed in the future.

 oh and yes, Berdly having a crush on Susie is the spoiler....

of course he didn’t get the crush until he found out a bit about Susie being a Gamer, that being in Dark World.

and it is pretty obvious he still has a crush on her when they got back to the Light World....

I wouldn’t be surprise if Snowy and Berdly get into a fight in the future

because Snowy is bad mouthing Susie.

wouldn’t be surprised if that happen, I mean Berdly has fallen for Susie  and even has made Yandere Noelle mad....

who would of thought that Yandere Noelle would be canon....O_O

well at least in the pacifist route she only choked him.

 Susie is now in a Love Triangle....

and well it is possible Berdly wont get into a fight with Snowy, and will try to play off his feelings for Susie as just a crazy dream.

that is until he finds out in the real world she really does play video games.

Susie is still in a Love Triangle though....

I wouldn’t be surprised if she is going to have a Omni-Harem.

Omni-Harem is what I started to call those who have both males, female and even nonbinary who are in love with the main protagonist.

I have the DVD of the first season of my life as a villainess,

and well I can’t help but think of it as a Omni-Harem type.

it isn’t really a Reverse Harem, plus it just seems more of a Omni-Harem.

if there was a Anime I would love to get Alphys hooked on, it would be that one.

     it is really good, well I think it is....

I also think I will need to clean my glasses, I will clean them after this post.

I hope that some of you can agree that Alphys being Transgender needs to be canon, cause she was originally going to be male but was changed to female.

and if it turns out it can’t be canon, I guess it can just be Fanon instead.

but here’s hoping just like the Pie and Yandere-Noelle, it turns out to be canon.

Noelle: Stop Calling Me Yandere!

Kris: Berdly is kissing a picture of Susie behind a dumpster.

Noelle: *turns around slowly to Kris with a very creepy smile*.....which dumpster....?

even if Noelle is sweet and can scare easy, it is best not to make her mad when it involves Susie.

but now that I think about it, I think the Love Triangle might be a Love Diamond.

because I think Catti (which I pronounce as Katie, so not to confuse with her older sister Catty’s name.)

might have a crush on Noelle, but it is just a theory.

but if it turns out that Catti does have a crush on Noelle,

and with Noelle having a crush on Susie, and Berdly having a crush on Susie.

the Love Triangle might really be a Love Diamond.

the way Catti talks about Noelle makes me think she might have secret feelings for her, and that is one of the reasons why she doesn’t like Susie.

I don’t think Alphys has feelings for King Fluffybuns in Deltarune.

I think their relationship might be 100% platonic and friend zoned.

it be funny if King Dice called Devil “Fluffybuns”

Best Day Ever If that happen. 

and even if the rumors about Cuphead having a crush on King Dice were true.

it would be clear that King Dice wouldn’t return the feelings,

and it be one sided and only Semi-Canon.

then again it would just be rumors that might not even be true.

I heard about the crush thing over on Youtube.

plus if it turns out to be true, and Devil finds out,

we the fans would have to give Cuphead the advice to save his life....

“Run.”

even if Alphys might only have platonic feelings for Asgore in Deltarune.

she might still end up with Undyne, and it if turns out that Alphys is transgendered then I think that Undyne would still love her.

but there is a fact that it might not become canon or show in future chapters of Deltarune, the whole Alphys being transgender, not the whole Undyne x Alphys.

I think Chapter 2 has shown that there is hints of that ship in that game.

it would be interesting if you could play match maker and those who match will end up together at the end of the game.

like Susie with Berdly, and Noelle with Catti.

or Susie with Noelle, and Catti with Berdly.

it is clear that Alphys in Deltarune is different from the one from Undertale.

because the Alphys from Deltarune is a fan of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2.

which might not be a bad thing, from what we read in her review.

wouldn’t be surprised if those two Alphys met and they fight over which is better, and then a third Alphys says she likes both.

well even if I do like the Powerpuff Girls Reboot too, I can still find some problems with it and if it was allowed to continue maybe they could of fix it.

one of the parts I loved in that show, is the friendship between Blossom and Princess, and Bliss the Older Sister of Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup.

that show can be seen as taking place in a different timeline, where the girls are a few years older than their past selves and share the same past like their counterparts but their futures ending up differently.

PPGD is my number one favorite though, I mean I still love PPG

but Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi (or just Powerpuff Girls D)

was out way before Powerpuff Girls Z,

and it has been running way longer than the canon and semi-canon series of the Powerpuff Girls.

it is also a Crossover series, and even if Buttercup has a crush on Sensei Jack...(who is Samurai Jack.)

I think he might be from a timeline where his true love Ashi died.

but in the timeline he ends up in, his counterpart and Ashi had descendants.

and one of the descendants happens to be Professor Utonium,

and if one of the ingredients for Utonium’s chemical X

happens to be some of Utonium’s blood which has traces of Aku,

then that would mean that Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup have traces of Aku in them as well.

it be interesting if Alphys agreed on this theory lol. 

but yeah after discovering that Samurai Jack might be the Ancestor of the PPG (which that would include Ashi as their Ancestress.)

it might be for the best that Buttercup’s crush goes from the puppy-love crush

to just fondness and platonic feelings, because Sensei Jack possibly being a alternate timeline counterpart of her ancestor.

but that might not be added to the PPGD,

but one can only look out for when it does.        

[baldinggoat]

I wrote a really long post about playersexuality about a year ago mostly targeting other crpgs, but I updated it a bit and decided to throw it on this blog too. It’s a bit repetitive, and it isn’t perfect, but it’s important to me that I’ve been trying to parse my direct feelings towards the phenomenon for a long time and I wanted to write it out. 

It mostly came from this article/post, and then kind of grew from there. It isn’t a direct criticism of Baldur’s Gate 3 or how Larian studios is writing queer sexuality, but if the shoe fits...well...

First of this all comes from someone with a trans and bi perspective. So it’s all subjective obviously. None of this is about discrediting bisexual characters, but critically analyzing how games depict queer sexuality. I just want more people to understand how playersexuality does hurt gay people who want gay characters, and hurt bi people who want more tangible representation and not a “schrodinger's” bisexuality.

Bisexuality/pansexuality isn’t necessarily being attracted to someone regardless or despite gender. It’s being attracted to more then one gender. Gender does, in fact, matter In relationships. Its frustrating really. My relationship to gender means a lot to me. It’s shaped my whole life. When I want someone to love me, I want them to love me for me AND acknowledge my gender. It’s a part of who I am. I don’t want it to be ignored. I’ve never had the privilege to ignore my gender, and I’ve never had the privilege of other people ignoring it either, since I’m trans. It’s not my only quality, but it’s a big part of my personal story and growth. Whenever I want to date anyone, I always have to have a conversation with them about our sexualities and my gender.

When you make a game with a story about fictional characters, you usually want the audience to care about said characters. You want to make it possible for the audience to empathize with them in some way. But in the end, all they ever will be is the game developer’s IDEA of what a person is, never an actual person. How sexuality and gender are presented in the story is all but an idea of how the game developers want sexuality and gender to be presented to the audience.

The bottom line is this: game companies have incentive for making money first. Game devs rarely care about giving lgbtq people a character that has an experience that the audience can empathize with. The audience that includes cishet people, because when everyone empathizing with fictional lgbtq characters, that’s what gives us “representation”. Because that’s what that actually means. Representation is about speading stories about our experiences being lgbtq to help other lgbtq people know that they aren’t alone, and also that it’s not a bad thing to be lgbtq. Playersexual characters don’t acknowledge that experience in their narrative, they aren’t representation.

And I real human being doesn’t need to tell you their sexuality. An actual gay or bisexual person doesn’t need to disclose anything about their past to “prove” their gay or bisexual. That’s because it’s an invasion of privacy, and when someone does tell you these things its because they trust you. It’s why “coming out of the closet” is something that exists. We are NOT entitled to know these things, yet everyone is assumed straight because that’s what is expected, so telling someone these things is an act of trust. But when it comes to fictional characters, there’s never that invasion of privacy. There’s no need to respect their boundaries, because as an omniscient audience we’re able to see different, imaginary perspectives. A game developer can always give us a clear indication of a character’s sexuality, and they can even do it without the characters stating it (although they should because that helps normalize people talking about their sexuality). It never has to be obfuscated or ignored. If it is obfuscated in some way, it’s because it’s the game developers’ intention. They don’t want to make a character’s sexuality clear and therefore, don’t actually care about lgbtq people.

So you play a videogame. There’s a character who admits they have feelings for the player. This character never talks about the gender of your character when it comes to the relationship. The character also, interestingly enough, never talks about a history of relationships with the same gender or mentions their attraction to the same gender. Even if they do, it’s a one off comment, innuendo, and/or never a full admission, something small that can be missed and ignored without deeper thought. (Also using correct pronouns isn’t acknowledging you’re in a relationship with someone who’s the same gender btw, it’s just common fucking courtesy).

The only way you ever even know that the character even is willing to date the same gender is if your character is there, and willing to date them. If your player character didn’t exist, you would never know this character dates the same gender. It’s schrodinger's bisexuality! The npc’s sexuality is not there unless you, the player, make it a part of your story. It doesn’t belong to the character. I hope that makes sense, because in the end the player is doing all the work for the writers. I also find it extremely unrealistic that in these situations, the characters are in serious romantic/sexual relationships and never talk about their history with dating the same gender, even casually.

What truly makes me sad though is how fandom, especially other bi people, will claim playersexuality as legitimate bisexual representation. It’s truly depressing that videogame writers have been able to find this loophole, use it, and abuse it. It gives game companies, that absolutely do not care about actually representing lgbtq people in their stories, credit where no credit is due. Of course I’m not trying to go after bi fans, and they aren’t wrong to claim these characters are bisexual, because that’s the whole point of calling it schrodinger's bisexuality. I personally don’t think infighting with other fans about whether a character is actually bisexual or not will get anyone anything except a migraine. What I do think, is people should be more critical about how videogame companies are presenting sexuality in their stories, and focus on criticizing that.

Edit: On a personal note, I also hate fandom using playersexuality to try to say the character’s sexuality is up for “interpretation” so they “headcanon” said character as straight or gay. That’s just biphobic. But, when trans/bi/gay people are talking about playersexuality, it’s usually from a more constructive outlook, where we just want the game studios to be held more accountable for erasure. This is also why I prefer the term “schrodinger's bisexuality”. Bisexual when you want them to be, not bisexual when you don’t want them to be.

I know people want the comfort, the ease, and the simplicity that playersexuality brings. I know it’s been used in games for years, and at one time it was the only queer content and representation games had. But times are changing, and game companies need to change. We need actual Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans characters, not a schrodinger's bisexuality. If you allow anyone and everyone to be able to romance any character regardless of gender, then you don’t have to worry about straight players being mad a character they want to romance is gay, or lgbt players being upset a character is straight.

Continuing to use playersexuality isn’t an “everyone’s happy” solution to people asking for more gay/bi characters in videogames. It’s obvious this has everything to do with money, since it’s making games viable for a wider audience and not actually giving queer people representation. It’s also painfully obvious when you have so much undeniable m/f that is central to the story.

I know game studios aren't a monolith. I know developing a game is usually convoluted and rarely linear. I also know it’s a company, and there are “layers” of writing, and things tend to go through a grind before they get green-lite. I know there’s never a singular person making decisions how character’s sexuality are depicted, and theres always more going on behind doors we may never know. Maybe game studios using playersexuality are trying to depict more lgbtq representation and some “big man” up top wont let them. But I highly doubt it, and think it has to do with marketability, because this is a product that is on the market.

TL; DR: I’m an annoying transgenderer who’s entitled and believes videogames should cater to me. Making companions/npcs playersexual, especially all of them, is a horrible, lazy, homophobic, and biphobic writing decision. Game companies don’t care about lgbtq people. Support lgbtq people, help donate to lgbtq content creators when you can, and help lgbtq people in fandom feel safe.

Aka Donate to my ko-fi lol

[talas-starlight]

a modern romance - peter parker x reader

summary: the downfall of meeting peter online and falling for him

warnings: angst, rly sad lol, confusing feelings - not that long?

a/n: hiya friends!! this is my very first marvel/ peter fic & im hella nervous but lmk what you think!! hehe 

The moons iridescent glow glimmers upon the sad expression that etched its way onto your face. There’s nothing special about the sky on this particular night. The deep blue so dark, you’d pass it off as a plain black if anyone asked. You suppose it perfectly matches the emotions which have weaved its way through your soul. Muted ticks of the living room clock squeeze their way under your door. It’s not loud enough to block out the silence that encompasses you, allowing the thoughts you skilfully blocked out throughout the day to invade your mind. Yet as you sit on the edge of your bed after your entire family has finally fallen asleep, for once in your life you wished it was loud again. Loud enough that you wouldn’t be so consumed with your thoughts that you don’t even notice the small breeze swaying your curtains side to side because you forgot to shut the window.  

It’s not your fault.

Screwing your eyes shut, you take in the deepest breath you can muster. Your lungs filled to the brim with air, but instead of making you feel alive, its wholeness makes you choke back a small cry.

Deep down, you acknowledged that you fell for him. You even saw it coming with your history of getting attached for too quickly, but for the first time you were bothered by the outcome. So, bothered you wanted to scream.

On one hand, you knew the chances of it working out were slim to none. How could you so foolishly let yourself open up to the point where you’d fall for his sweet, bright smile and soft curls through your phone screen?

Online relationships never work.

But alas, after talking so consistently for so long, you allowed yourself to believe that for once it could genuinely work out.

**

“Did you know we’ve been talking for three months straight now?!”

“Really?! It honestly feels longer than that. To think it was all because I tweeted about being stressed for my chemistry final.”

His laugh fills your heart, “You’re lucky I came to the rescue. But I guess you could say this is our anniversary.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Anniversary? Does he mean he’s interested in me?

Letting out a small breath you didn’t even realise you were holding in, you giggled, pushing the hopeful thoughts aside. It wouldn’t work; he lives in a completely different country.

Eyes glancing to the side, you’re nervous to even look at him. You gulp. “How are you so sure?”

It's silent. Despite the slightly blurry connection between the two of you, you notice a small blush creep its way onto his face.

“Pete?”

“I may or may not have scrolled all the way to the top of our conversation to check?”

It was at that point where you felt like your heart skipped a beat. Your chest was freezing completely and every logical thought you’ve been trying to drill into your brain not to yearn for the American boy fly’s out the window.

Play it cool.

“Aweee! I knew you were whipped.”

As the weeks went on from that conversation, you continued to grow more and more infatuated with the boy through the screen.

That was your exact downfall.

While only ever being able to communicate online at obscure times of the day, you initially saw it as a blessing. Study for uni during the day, talk to peter before you go to bed.

Alas, it was a curse in disguise.

Finding yourself thinking about how he would make you laugh and completely over the moon every single night, you eventually became reckless. As he would fill you in on the Star Wars marathon he had with Ned while you were sleeping, it became impossibly hard to ignore how your heart would yearn to be there with him. To see him in his complete element in person. To rest your head on his shoulder as he stared with amazement towards the screen. You knew it wouldn’t happen, but what did you do instead? You confessed.

It all seemed harmless at first. What could go wrong? Yes, he might not feel the same way, but it’s not like you’d actually have to face him. He’d still want to be your friend regardless.

Or at least that’s what you told yourself.

Cringing at the confidence you had in yourself a week prior to your confession, frustrated words of abuse towards your actions swim in your mind.

When you confessed during a game of truth, he actually admitted there were feelings there for you too. Yet as the days went on, feeling confident enough to tell him how cute he looked during your daily facetimes or snapchats… you felt him drifting away—pulling back. Almost as if he were a man overboard that didn’t want you to jump into the ocean to bring him back.

Smooth streams of air push their way out from your parted lips. Screwing your eyes shut, you shove the heels of your palms against them desperately willing yourself to not break down in sobs.

Why did you have to ruin it?

You wanted to be mad. Furious. You kept telling yourself that he could’ve said something. He could’ve been honest with you and give you a chance to get over your feelings so you could both stay friends. But he didn’t. The reality was it honestly felt like he let go completely, and it didn’t matter how frustrated you were as you suffered halfway across the world.

You didn’t know what you could do to bring him back, and there was absolutely not a single thing you could do about it.

*Ding!*

It was a notification from peter. It wasn’t a ‘hi’ or a ‘how are you?’ but he sent a TikTok to you for some random comedy skit. The first form of contact in three days.

Maybe it wasn’t like before. It may never return to how it was before and your contact with him will most likely fade into nothing at all, but you couldn’t help but smile a little because he was still there.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

taglist: lmaO ok so i dont have a taglist for peter or tom or whatever but im just guna tag some mutuals/ friends i do have on here that are involved in the fandom - im so sorry for tagging u in this if u didnt want to be! i wont do it in the future unless u actually want me to but eep! but eek feel free to give me feedback or what u think :)

@kelieah @hollanderfangirl @peterbenjiparker @euphorichxlland​ @stuckonspidey​

[karomate]

High Ground - Olli Matela FF Part 2

Hiya je suis back. :) Hope I didnt leave y'all waiting too long. I dont have work the next two weeks so be prepared for at least one more update. LOL

Olli

Olli didn’t know he would be fascinated so fast by a human being. But Sara managed to fuck with his head. While he was laying in bed, he couldn’t help but to think about her and her eyes, and her hair. He was just mesmerized by her. After a few hours of just thinking about her, he managed to fall into a restless sleep. To say Olli was grumpy was putting it lightly. Never was a person more in a bad mood. He couldn’t sleep and it didn’t help, that his thoughts were still circling around Sara. “Good morning!”, screamed Joel, when he entered the room, Sara behind him. What were they doing together? “Run into her, when I picked up our coffees. She doesn’t like coffee! Can you believe this? But she’s drinking her third Red Bull already”, Joel couldn’t be helped and he just rambeled. How could a person be this motivated in the morning? Olli would never get it. “So for today. Lets just keep songwriting”, Niko said and they all agreed. After three hours of intense working, their heads were smoking and they almost couldn’t concentrate anymore. “Lets take a break”, to all of their surprise, it was Sara who said this. “Actually, its already one o’clock. Lets take the rest of the day off”, Sara continued and managed to surprised all of them. Yesterday she didn’t want to go out and drink beer with them, and now she suggested, that they should take the rest of the day off? Olli looked at the other boys and noticed that they were as perplexed as he was. “Well what else do you want to do?”, asked Joonas. “I figured, that if we don’t get along really well, this song will not do as good as we all hope it will.”, she explained. Of course it was about the song. Olli watched as Sara put a strand of her short hair behind her ears and smiled to himself. She was cute. Definitely. “Okay. Agreed”, Tommi chirped in. “But that doesn’t answer the question what we should do”, argued Aleksi and we all nodded in agreement. “Since I am not from Finland, how about you guys show me around”, Sara suggested and they all said yes.

Sara

Sara noticed that the boys were all really stressed. She on the other hand wanted to get out of the studio, because the air was getting bad. She walked a few paces behind them and just looked at the beautiful architecture. The houses were build different than back in her hometown in Scotland. Tommi was walking beside her and explained her everything that he knew. She was thankful. The guys didn’t treat her as the star that she was. They treated her as a normal human being. Something she wasn’t used to. “So after all this walking”, Joel started after they were walking for one hour. “We should grab a beer in this bar”, he pointed to a bar while he was finishing his sentence. The guys immediately agreed. Sara started to panic. She couldn’t ditch them once again. But if her manager found out that they weren’t working he would kill Sara. He would already be mad, if he would find out, that they were out and about in the city. “ehm…”, Sara started but couldn’t finish her sentence, cause they all looked at her with puppy-eyes. How could she say no to that? “Okay. One beer wont kill me”, she said and followed them inside. While Joel und Niko were ordering beer for everyone, Sara followed the rest of them to the tables and sat down next to Olli.

Olli

He froze once she sat down next to him. He started to feel how his palms were getting sweaty. Keep cool. He thought to himself and tried to secretly rub his hands dry on his pants. The other two returned with their beer and they all started drinking. After everyone had two beer more the mood started to get more comfortable and they all talked freely with each other. Olli even put his arm on the chair behind Sara. She didn’t seem to mind it, as she sometimes, when she thought nobody would notice lean her back against his arm. Olli of course noticed an couldn’t help but smile to himself whenever she did that. Olli had a few beers and couldn’t help it an started to draw small circles on Sara’s shoulderblades. He just hoped the other guys wouldn’t notice it but they too had a few beers. He felt the chills running down Sara’s spine and smirked. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one who felt a attraction towards the other person. He was confirmed in his thinking, when he felt a small hand land on his leg. They continued their small touching until Niko abruptly got up, Olli immediately took his hand off of Saras shoulder and played it cool. He didn’t want Niko to think something wrong. Sara wasn’t bothered in the slightest. She kept her hand on Ollis leg and started to slowly caress it. Olli took a sharp breath, and coughed to cover it up. What was she doing with him? No woman ever was this bold with him. He liked it. After five more minutes of her just caressing his leg and him not being able to form a single thought she stopped her movement and took her hand away. “Its getting late guys”, she stated the obvious. “I should go and sleep and sleep a few hours before we continue with the song”, she said and got up from the table. The other guys offered to walk her to her hotel, but she politely declined their offers. And then she walked out the door. “Olli are you okay? You’ve been staring at the door for five minutes now!”, Joonas pulled him out of his thought. Was he okay? “Yeah everythings good”, he said and smiled at his friend. Was he really okay? She managed to completely fuck with his head now, just because she caressed his leg a little bit. Fuck. He couldn’t help but think about what would’ve happened if they were alone. “Is somebody crushing on Sara?”, Joonas of course noticed the shift in behavior of his friend and didn’t miss a opportunity to mess with him. “No! I don’t even know her!”, he defended himself and drank his beer empty. “I am going home too”, he stated and got up from the table without waiting for their answer.

Sara

In the taxi, she leaned her head against the window and thought about the evening. Why did she do that to Olli? Of course he is very attractive but there was no need for her to put her hand on his leg and just fucking leave it there! She was confused. No one ever made her feel that way. But she couldn’t afford to be in a relationship. It would end her career. And there was nothing more important than her career! When she arrived in her hotelsuite, she wasn’t surprised to find her manager sitting on a chair. “Where were you?”, he asked her. “Out with the guys from Blind Channel. I was getting to know them, since songwriting would be easier like that”, she explained him. Took fresh clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. She couldn’t be bothered with him right now. “Just make sure you don’t get too close to them”, he shouted through the door and he could hear another door close. He must have left. After showering she went into her bed, and tried to fall asleep. But sleep didn’t come, so she grabbed her phone and searched all the Blind Channel guys on Instagram and followed them. Olli was the last. She didn’t just follow him she also pressed on the Direct Message button. -Sorry for leaving so fast, but I need my sleep-, she texted him. Without any emojis or anything. It wasn’t long until she got her answer. -Don’t worry. I also left soon after you went home. Hope we didn’t creep you out too much :’)- he texted her back and she couldn’t help but smile. They were all so nice, they could never creep her out, she thought and texted Olli this. And while they were texting over small and big thing they both fell asleep with a smile on their face, with thoughts on the other person.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[rosenmarille]

First of all: that One Day bit is quality content. Second of all I read "3.5 for Holly" and am Highly Interested

HI yes! i will explain, however i first have to correct myself. its actually a part 2.5, not 3.5. like i mentioned in the other post, the part is called “heart unbound”, this is about 25 years after battle tendency, when holly is in her early 20s!!

the rest of this im gonna put under the cut

so the setting. joseph (43), suzie, and holly (21) live in new york, smokey is in georgia, lisa lisa (75) is Somewhere in the states, erina and speedwagon have passed away (sad). its 1963! the speedwagon foundation has continued expanding, with joseph and lisa lisa closely involved after speedwagons death. they’ve mostly moved their attention into new territory, but still have all their old research kept. stands aren't a thing yeeet, but its been long enough that the pillarmen have faded into unpleasant memory.

until one night the power at the swf hq goes out for just a moment too long, and santana manages to escape.

joseph and lisa lisa are contacted asap, and they decide to travel down to texas and find him (preferably take him out for good this time). holly, who has grown up hearing about jojo’s wild escapades, really wants to come along. she knows some hamon! she can defend herself! come on!! (yes i said it, holly learned hamon, do you think having lisa lisa for a grandmother would result in anything less?) anyway, joseph and lisa lisa Really don't want her to come since it could be really dangerous and they'd rather not put her in harm’s way.

so holly (rich, unsupervised) books a plane and goes after them.

we skip to texas!! joseph and lisa lisa investigate at hq and the surrounding area and find practically no trace of santana or where he might have gone. when holly arrives, she decides that since she can't look into hq without getting caught, she’ll ask around with locals, and manages to hear rumours about a new sort of cryptid (only appears at night, weird anatomy etc), both cattle and people have been disappearing, but on a very small scale. she looks into similar stories and realizes that santana must be moving south, though what he's planning, she doesn't know. but she will follow!! (and leave breadcrumbs for her family to pick up on this pattern too, she guesses. not so helpless now, huh?)

so this goes for a while, taking her down into mexico, until she is pretty sure that she can triangulate the missing people reports accurately enough to actually Find him. holly isnt stupid, she doesnt think she can win in a battle against a pillarman. what she’s hoping to do is prove herself to joseph and lisa lisa by prepping and helping out enough for them to then take care of the problem. she's an adult now and she doesnt appreciate being treated like a child. (you may say this contradicts how she behaved towards joseph in part 3, but to that i counter: she's in her 40s in that one, and her being an adult is established enough that she knows she can act a lil silli without that being put in question)

but hey!! she does find him!! she decides to stalk him for a bit, see what he does. so she happens to be there when santana attacks a young woman (midnight snack), who pulls a KNIFE instead of running away, so Holly rushes in and deflects an attack with a quick hamon swipe. santana has learned from his previous hamon encounter and instead of sticking around, he decides it isn't worth it and absconds instead (smart). (at this point you might notice this is the first fight of the part. yeah it be like that in this one. call it battle untendency) 

holly and the woman (who later introduces herself as Maria (no last name yet; but named after Maria Maria by Santana (lol)) also get out of dodge and hide out in an alley, where maria decides that she needs to know what the fuck that Thing was, yesterday. magic?? sparkling?? hello??? and hollys like uhh hah yes so. that's an ancient semi immortal vampire creature? and this is sunlight breathing magic, which he's allergic to. yea. and maria is like ................yeah okay i buy it. teach me sunlight breathing magic, i wanna come.

maria side paragraph! she's our oc and we love her. remember that awful scene from the santana arc with all those prisoners and the one kid who doesn't get sacrificed? that's her older brother. he was “let go” but “let go” basically did just mean “free to wander the desert and find civilisation maybe”, so when he did eventually find his way back home, he'd been severely traumatized, plus on death's door. other prisoners had been turned into vampires to test on the pillarman discovery, so the word “vampire” is something he'd have heard and conveyed to his family, who didn’t. really believe him. he also hasn't really recovered from that experience :( then the war happened and maria's dad served in it, and afterwards decided that his other child needed to know how to defend herself, and maria learned how to handle a knife, as well as how to physically fight. their family managed to avoid post war financial problems for the most part, and maria was able to finish her studies! she's a pilot :)  she is, however, harbouring very deep anger and resentment for what happened to her brother, and has not really had a face to direct that anger towards, so it's been on a relatively low burner for the most part, but now there’s talk of vampires and a person she can blame for her family’s trauma.

they exchange notes and she realizes that yeahh, that is pretty much exactly what her brother had told them, so it was true. hah :) yes actually, i would like to learn vampire killing magic please holly. and holly, who didn't really want to bring someone with her, but kind of does believe in accidents not being a thing, decides that yeah, she probably should bring maria along. and sure!! if they have to deal with sanata again, why not teach her hamon!! they share stories and continue to follow the trail while they train together, and become really close friends! jobro time.

we've now reached the first third of the story.

we travel further south!! soon, holly begins to realize......... ohh..... the temple they found santana in.. that's south of here, isn't it? oh huh. what could he want there?? the masks have been destroyed as far as she knows?? she doesn't know enough first hand to know what significance there could be, but the girls prepare for anything. maybe a big weapon the researchers had not been able to identify?? MOre pillarmen, secretly living underneath the temple??? 

(there are gonna be some scenes that involve lisa lisa and joseph figuring out where they need to go, and maybe also realizing who set that trail, maybe they have smth else going on, who knows) 

holly and maria follow santana and eventually do find the temple, and prepare to stake it out, hopefully hopefully not alerting him to their presence, because that would be.........bad. (tho tbh marias kinda itching to try out vampire begone magic. wouldn't You want to if you suddenly learned how?) neither of them have ever been here so they're honestly pretty floored by the temple interior, the tunnel that leads into the main chamber dark and uninviting, with who knows what hidden dangers are lurking about. 

and then they see him. santana is investigating the place where the pillar had been cut out of the structure, the stone masks crushed and broken, strewn around the floor, running his hands over the broken stone. Then he walks to one of the murals carved into the wall, a large one, similar to the one speedwagon had been investigating, with the 4 faces representing the pillarmen, and he lingers there. dips his head, then walks back to the empty space of the pillar and sits down where it was, crosslegged, and closes his eyes. and then he stays still. what does That mean?? 

the girls decide this is enough, they should fall back and formulate a proper plan, maybe wait for joseph and lisa lisa to catch up. buuuut we can't have that be the end of it, and so something happens, maybe one of them trips? steps on rubble that falls loose? they make a noise. and get noticed. 

change of plans! fight now! except there isn't an attack? they stay still but “i know you're there.” damn it. battle formation, stances ready, they make their way into the chamber, where santana hasn't moved at all. he's still sitting there, but he's looking at them now. holly asks what he's doing here, he asks the same back. she says not to play dumb, hes been killing people this whole time, he has to answer for that! and to that, santana honestly looks a bit confused because. has he? in his defense, he's not human, his prey is humans. pillarboy has to eat.

marias like “well? aren't you going to attack us?” and he's like “not unless you bother me.” and closes his eyes again. the girls aren't sure what to make of this.

santana side paragraph: first of all, this is a santana stan account. name one (1) thing he's done wrong, canonically. woke up in a strange place. captured?? got his bearings, tried to Leave and was accosted! shot some nazis (go king), and finally only snapped when joseph got mad he didn't laugh at his clownery. anyone would get murderous as a result. tried to escape further, ultimately was stopped and detained Again! morally, he's above joseph. 

so they're just standing now. since their earlier encounter where holly used hamon, santana refuses to talk more at first, but holly has the bright idea to get his trust by having maria restrain her and then stand back with her weapon -- a show of putting herself in a helpless position and promise she wont attack. that’s enough for santana to agree to come closer and have a proper conversation.

holly asks again why he's here exactly? what's here? and he tells her that if she Must know, he's waiting. waiting for what, she asks. and maria looks back at the carvings and realizes “oh. there should be 4 of them.” now santana looks mildly uncomfortable, and holly rememebers that “oh fuck, dad killed all of them.” and then “wait they were evil tho??” and then again “wait fuuck, didn't the leader guy say they left this one behind in mexico on purpose? oh man does he Know?” holly finds herself in the position of “not only do i have to tell this guy his friends aren't coming because they're Dead, they also kinda abandoned him.” yikes.

meanwhile maria is kinda pissed that her one chance at revenge might have just been taken from her. she still blames santana for what happened to her brother, and she refuses to let that go. she’s too stubborn and proud for that. and now, especally since holly seems to be focused on creating a bond, it feels like a slap in the face. so she kinda… snaps, ruining their chance at resolving this peacefully and causing santana to run off again. she and holly have a fight. it sucks.

soon after that joseph does find holly and he Does send her home. maria, after explaining her intentions, stays with them. holly is heartbroken :( after shes gone, joseph and lisa lisa make a plan to trap santana, aimed to go off in a few days prep, and during this, maria is starting to realize that that... really isnt the right thing to do... shes now had some time to sit alone with her guilt and regret about how she handled the situation, ssso she gets an idea on how to make up for it...

meanwhile holly is sitting at home and is sad, until suzie drives her somewhere in guise of going to a fancy lunch with smokey (whos in town), but really she drives her to the joestars airpad where her friend marua(!!) is already waiting in front of joseph’s plane, which, turns out, she hijacked in the south and flew all the way up here, and suzie tosses holly a bag with clothes and stuff and tells her to hurry up and get going :3

and hollys all "but what about lunch with mr smokey? :o" and suzie winks at her and says "don't worry, he's waiting for me to tell him everything went well at the restaurant ;)" and then holly gives her a big hug, runs to her friend and hugs Her, and they are off to fly back south to save some lives. on the way, maria apologizes and explains -- how she had harboured this resentment for so long that the sudden target for her blame put in front of her, plus the immediate removal of it were so jarring that she acted impulsively... she knows santana isnt at fault for what happened with her brother... and now she just hopes they make it in time.

as luck would have it, they catch up with joseph and lisa lisa just in time to jump between them and santana (maria accidentally cuts off joseph’s prosthetic hand in the process and freaks the fuck out before realizing it’s fine) and try to talk it out. it’s a tense few minutes, but holly is determined and stubborn, and she manages to get her dad and grandma to see her side of things and santana is saved! they find something for him to eat, giving him the energy to heal his wounds. pillarmen absorbing shit never gets old.

And from there it’s mostly just everything getting settled down and smoothed out. they get back in touch with the swf and tell them the problem is handled. santana turns out to be a relatively peaceful dude when his life isn’t being threatened, and he becomes a good friend with all four of them, but especially holly and maria. they help teach him about the modern world and he decides that he’s going to do some travelling and learn about the history of his culture and other ancient mesoamerican cultures he interacted with in his youth, and he shares the things he learns with the swf so they can get the info about where theyre needed etc.  maria gets hooked up with one of the many therapists we decided work at the swf that has experience with the supernatural things she and her brother have gone through. holly, maria, and santana stay in touch and go on regular trips together. holly receives many post cards.

it’s all really good and happy :) thats heart unbound baybee!! <33

[sinningismywinning]

I’ll See You At The Finish Line - 2

AN: (This was suppose to be a oneshot lol, but everyone wanted a part 2! I hope I lived up to everyone’s expectations. As always, feedback is always fantastic.)   

Timid hands, and nimble fingers. Your luggage was heavier than when you first enlisted with it. This wasn’t because you carried relics from your time at war. It was because your small frame, had simply gotten smaller.

   You weren’t one for makeup, and you doubted that you ever would be. Rouge coated your cheeks. A clash against your pale, cold skin. It acted poorly to hide your under eyes. Hopefully the men wouldn’t notice, but you knew that Polly would.

   They weren’t sure of when you’d be coming home. They knew it would be up to a month after the boys arrival. They waited anxiously. Checking the mail slot for any letters, waiting for an update of your departure to Small Heath.

   You hung your head, almost as if embarrassed. You knew that Polly was besides herself with contempt of you leaving. Ada had told you so, through her letters. More often than not, you’d be too upset to respond. Your mind couldn’t conjure the boys reaction to your enlistment. Would they be proud? Supportive? Angry? Disappointed?

   You stared down at the pavement. Turn the knob. Push yourself inside. You were practically a war hero right? They couldn’t stay mad forever. Your hands were sweating. The handle on your luggage was gaining ounces by the minute. Your heart was to your knees and you felt a knot in your throat. Don’t cry, don’t throw up, don’t pass out.

   This was suppose to be a celebration. A reunion of family. It had been two years, and at the end of it all, they were everything you had. You were numb, but somehow feeling it all at the same time. You made it home. You were home now. You were safe. Your med-tent wasn’t being ambushed. Men weren’t dying at your hands.

   Your eyes stitched shut. Hot tears threatening to spill out. Get it together. You’re home now, it’s okay, it’s fine.

                                 Until it wasn’t.

    It wouldn’t be okay if Arthur yelled in your face about how stupid you were to leave. If Polly broke down sobbing, saying she figured you dead.  And Thomas. You wouldn’t be able to speak to him.

    You had a glaze in your eyes. You’ve been through so much. So much pain, suffering, deprivation. Yet, this felt like one of the hardest things you’d have to do. Opening a fucking door? You started shaking your head. At any minute one of them could walk out. Catch you standing there like a deer in headlights.

   What if you opened the door and none of them were inside? What if John perished in war? If Arthur couldn’t be found? Thomas, a prisoner of war? Your mind wouldn’t stop. Your hands began to shake. You set your bags down and rubbed at your cheeks. Deal with things when they happen. They could be fine.

   Your breathing was shaky. Some would say erratic. Your hands moved to your neck and you pressed down. One... Two... Three. You looked absolutely insane. Panicking on a doorstep, in the slums of England. You weren’t calm, not in the slightest. Rip the fucking band-aid off. Get it done with. Heal faster.

   The tremors in your hands made the doorknob feel like jello. Open the fucking door. Tears were welling up more-so than what you had expected. Tear off the band-aid. Don’t be weak, open the fucking door!

   At first, no one had even noticed that you walked in. Bags still outside. Tears down your face, and weight lost on you. They hadn’t a clue that you welcomed yourself inside.

   John and Polly were singing in the kitchen. Arthur tapped his hand on the table. The clank of his ring hitting the surface was on par with Johns awful singing. Thomas sat on the other side of Arthur, drinking straight from a bottle.

        It was such a beautiful sight to see. You felt a tightness in your chest.

   “Y/N?” Ada stopped in her tracks. She was coming downstairs when she saw you. You were whiter than the plates in the cabinet. Words were stuck in your throat. Your mouth was open to speak, but no noise came out.

   The sound of your name made everyone turn. Tommy rose from his chair, expecting it to be a joke. 

   They were all alive. All home. All happy. That was, until you came in.

   The disdain on Pollys face was obvious. Her eyes immediately welled up. She didn’t want to speak to you, but all she did was stare with disbelief. John was the first one to approach you. He ran out of the kitchen, practically picking you up. Ada ran downstairs to stand next to Polly.

   You felt like you were run over by a carriage. He squeezed you tightly, and broke down before you could get the chance. “Fucks wrong with you?” His arms stayed wrapped. “Couldn’t stand to be away from us?” He questioned lightly with tears down his face. He still smelled like cigars.

   Arthur approached you next. He stood with John and looked at you as if you were broken. You were. He was never good with words, especially ones meant for comfort. He stood to the side sheepishly. You were crying, and it wasn’t until John pulled away that you had noticed.

   They lost weight. Scars on their neck. On their chin. Johns face wasn’t as red as usual, and Arthur wasn’t sporting his mustache. Their hair was cropped shorter than what you were use to.

   “I know.. I’m sorry,” Your voice wavered but you mustered a smile. Arthur grabbed you. His hug wasn’t as tight as Johns, but he held you momentarily. He didn’t speak. Partially because he didn’t know what to say. His embrace said everything better than what he could. “Don’t be sorry,” John tried to comfort. He was more sympathetic than before.

   They missed you. It’s not like they wouldn’t, but being so far away only made you fear the worst. Polly shook her head from the kitchen and left to go out-back. Your smile fell. Ada shot you an apologetic look, but you understood. She followed Pol into the yard.

   Arthur stepped back from you. “You think what you did was okay?” Thomas snapped from the kitchen. He set down the near-emptied whiskey bottle. His eyes didn’t leave yours. 

   This was when one of your brothers would chime in, and defend you, but they didn’t. They knew Thomas was right, and they’d only jump in if he took it too far.

   “Trailing behind us, aye?” He took slow steps towards you. “Playing soldier in the only way you could?” You hung your head, feeling shame for something you should be proud of. “A nurse Y/N, really?” He beckoned. His words cut you deep. At least Polly had the courtesy to walk away. Thomas was going to let his mouth run, and he’d be damned if you tried to stop that.

   “Are you.. fucking MAD?” His tone raised. “Med-tents were being bombed left and right, THAT’S why they needed more nurses,” he was drunk. Upset. Broken. “You were too fucking stupid to figure that out.” He snickered. John looked at Tommy in disapproval of his words. “She deserves as much respect as we do Thomas,” John threatened.

   Thomas looked to John, and all he did was raise a finger and point. He laughed momentarily. A thought of his own had amused him. He wasn’t being disrespectful, he was being logical. He decided against speaking, and didn’t comment further. His hand dropped and he turned back to you. “I’m here, aren’t I?” you quipped. “Well what if you weren’t! What then? What if I wasn’t here?” His temperament changed again. “What if John wasn’t here, Arthur wasn’t here!” He shouted. Emotions cracked his voice.

   This wasn’t Tommy. This wasn’t your older brother who pushed you in the mud and helped you build forts in the living room. This wasn’t the man who slipped you your first shot after breaking in to Polly’s liquor cabinet. That Thomas was gone. The war changed him. Took something, and you weren’t sure if he’d get it back. He was a broken soldier. A tortured mind.

   Underneath his eyes, the skin was purple. Surrounded by grey. He was as washed out as you were. His eyes were no longer deep blue, they were cold. Stiff. Hardened. “You weren’t here when I came back,” he threw it in your face. “At the finish line,” he quoted. 

   Arthur and John couldn’t bare to look at him. They exchanged glances and panned to you. “I just wanted to help. I wanted to make a change-” Tears were threatening. You had hurt the one person you didn’t want to hurt. He had to deal with his nightmares by himself. Manage things by himself.

   Arthur hadn’t seen him this emotional since before the war. You on the other hand, have never seen him hurt, quite like this. It broke you more. You couldn’t argue with him. He was right. You could have easily stayed home. Not gotten involved. Kept your sanity in one piece. But you didn’t.

   He moved closer to you, and you swore you thought he was going to shove you. Push you into a wall. Anything. His glossy eyes stared deep into you. Arthur and John were anticipating anything from him. Ready to tell him to fuck off, or leave you alone. “Don’t make promises, that you can’t keep-” You rushed him while he was mid-sentence. Your arms tangled around him, and you refused to let go. He could yell, try to pry you off, even bite you, but you weren’t letting go.

   His body tensed like there was an ice cube in his shirt. He froze and you heard the small gasp he made. Shocked at the sudden contact. “I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry.” Was all you could muster up to say.

   John and Arthur were kicking themselves, wondering what the fuck was going on. Arthur eyed Thomas, seeing his response.

   It was slow, and if you didn’t pay attention, surely you’d miss it. His arms wrapped around you. He managed to find comfort in the embrace. He wasn’t yelling. He wasn’t shaking. His eyes shut tightly. “I’m real bad Y/N,” He spoke lowly, trying to pace his breath. “I can’t fucking do this without you,” You knew he was close to tears.

   “You wont have to do it without me,” You whispered back to him. “This is the finish line. I’m home, you’re home. We aren’t away anymore.” You reassured lightly. You felt him nod into your shoulder, but he didn’t let go.

   This was suppose to be the other way around. He had tried to be strong. To not cry, to not break down. He’d do anything in his power to sleep. To forget everything. You were his adviser. His support system. His sister.

   He should have known that all along, you’d be the one to hold him in the end.

 @alliemariee15 @terrazaurio @reb0rned @oh-the-books @amirahiddleston @i-wish-i-wish-upon-a-star @shelbyandsolomons @dbunny13 @lovemissyhoneybee @captivatedbycillianmurphy @angelofdarkness2468

[choiceenvironment]

Shorty’s Fight

Shorty is so deserving of the proper surgery to save her leg.  I feel horrible that I can not afford to provide her with it. With so many people struggling, I hate to ask for this kind of financial help, but I have no choice.  I have to try for her sake. Our local small town community has already sponsored the costs to saving her, with help from the wonderful (Strathmore Veterinarian).  The donations gave the vet enough to amputate her tail and cast her arm from a broken Radial bone. Including an anonymous donor that paid her intake. I believe it is because the town knows her, she has gone into stores, got the mail with me and all my clients love her. Since then (2 weeks ago) something has gone wrong and the Ulnar bone which had a hairline fracture has now broken fully, the only option now is amputate her front left arm for $2000 or Surgery for $4500 to save the arm. She is in a lot of pain, this breaks my heart for her and she does not deserve to suffer. I have been told by some that she is just a cat, That I should just do what ever is cheapest and/or put her down. But she is not just a regular cat, her personality captures anyone who meets her but not in the cuddly way most would think. This is my story of the most unique cat I have ever known. "Sam Shorty" 2 years ago I was looking for a small companion cat that I could bring to work at my newly opened print shop. I thought it would be great to keep the mice away, I was lonely as I worked alone and I had some struggles coping with stress. My store was opened in 2017, Since then my entire store was flooded and I lost all my inventory with no help from insurance because it was "overland flooding" - Jerks! They didn't help at all.  But my community did! Since then I lost my father, 2 brothers and covid took away my events which used to pay for my store rent.  I hosted, cooking and paint classes for kids when they were off school.  I also trained people who struggle to learn computer skills and building their own resume. I honestly needed to find a daily companion and furry friend.  My first thought was to catch or coax one of the Ferrell cats around town because I would be "giving them a better life".  So I thought. ha ha ha But the stray cats around town are pretty happy just eating the field mice and being wild and free.  No worries, just play, eat and sleep, I am almost jealous except in winter time. ha ha ha So after weeks of desperately trying to make friends with the Ferrell's I gave up and realized that all I was doing was creating Night Fights from all the food I kept leaving out. The neighbors must have loved that. ha ha ha They did keep all the outside mice away, but funny...I seemed to end up with more mice inside the store. ha ha ha Moving forward I checked online for any cats needing a home and oddly at that time frame there was none?  People even tried catching their own farm Ferrell's to no avail.  Well I was determined so I planned to go on the weekend to buy one SOMEWHERE lol, didn't know where but I was determined. Saturday morning we planned for a Sunday trip to the city.  But I was feeling really down so I prayed.  I honestly prayed to God and asked for help in sending me a cat that needs the most help. See, Although I want a companion for my sake I also want to return the favor to my friend, I want to be doing something good. 2 hours later I was cleaning up some things in the shed and my husband says "I think there is something behind the quad" Sure as shit there was a kitten!  So we ran and told my daughter to grab a can of tuna and after a few attempts I was able to quickly grab her scruff and pull her into my scarf. She fought hard but only for a few seconds, then she tucked her head into my hair and didn't move. I walked around with her for a bit and she seemed to like it.  Eventually I set her on my bed and she just stared at all of us like she was in shock.  Pretty sure she was freaking out. ha ha ha Her eyes were full of gunk, she was so badly filled with worms and she pooped all over my bedroom, my bed, but I could care less. Funny story - she even gave me worms which is very rare! The first night she was so afraid that she would only lay on the window sill.  Shorty was so stunted and small that we called her shorty.  Also because her tail was the smallest tail we had ever seen. While she was going from the window to the liter box and back up to the window sill, her litter was getting stuck to her feet and a small amount kept dropping into my bedside drinking glass. Lets not get into details, but I drank a lot of water that night. ha ha ha - I still laugh at this cause she was worth it. It took a long time to get her back to health, we thought she was dead a few times when she would not move for hours. We eventually got her fixed and with consistent food she began to grow :) and although small she is one tough kitty. I had her on a leash when we would go for walks, camping or to work.  But eventually I just felt like she missed the wild. When we were camping it poured rain one year so bad, but she did not want to leave the brush beside the fire and I realized she was hunting mice! She would be soaking wet and I would try to take her inside with me but she would get so mad, growl and kick her back paws on me.  So in return for her friendship I sat in the rain with her for hours so she could listen to the wilderness and hunt mice.  She even caught one that year but her excitement caused her to lose it and it ran away. She would stand on her back feet and sway her head like a crazy person filled with glee, she looked like a playful bear. Shorty would finally want to go to bed around 11 pm, but at the crack of dawn she would be sitting on her leash staring at me and using her "mind powers" to wake me up.  She is very polite and tries not to disturb me while I sleep.  So sweet. I decided that if I truly love her I would have to let her have her own freedom and if she loved me too, she would return home. At first when I took her off her leash, Shorty would stay with me as I gardened or worked in the yard.  But eventually she left the yard for a day and night. But she returned and before the incident she would come and go on the hour. Shorty could be dead asleep on the piano ( her favorite spot) and she would know if another cat stepped on her property.   So would we, because all of a sudden she would run upstairs to the bedroom windows, then down to the basement windows. Sometimes she would "Scobie Doo"  around the corners then race to be let out the back door. All the neighborhood cats are free out here and go as they please.  They are also bigger than her! But she puff's up, spits and kicks her back feet like she is the toughest little girl in the world. Climbing is her favorite and she always has to show me.  She will run up the tree and if I am not watching her Shorty meows at me and scratches harder on the tree. She loves to run and show off how fast she is, her favorite game with my daughters is what we call "the chase game" That's where the kids will get a foot from her and she will run to the other side of the yard and lay down.  Then she rolls and shows her tummy, so the girls walk up to pet her and when they are a foot from her she runs back to the other side. She loves it. Shorty does not cuddle, wont let strangers touch her and only comes to me "Mom" Now the sad part -  We rescued a Pitbull and have spent month retraining her as she was abused and left to freeze in the cold.  Her name is Calypso. She cowers to many things and we thought we were getting her back to normal. Her prey drive was bad, but the cat and her were beginning to play and we began lowering our guard. I never left them in a room alone together, I still always supervised just encase. But 2 weeks ago I was in court awaiting a verdict on a local exploitation of a minor case.  The judge called guilty, we cried with relief and became overwhelmed as it had been a year long uncertain battle.  By the system prevailed! AS we celebrated on the way home I got a call from my daughter, the dog had got upstairs and the cat was bleeding. I tried to keep my daughter calm and a Neighbour ran to my house to see how bad it was. When I got there, the floor had a trail of blood and a pool of blood behind the couch. But it is not the dogs fault, she is a sweet sweet dog that just wants to be loved.  The dog took to me the moment we met and her jealousy took her over along with her natural instinct. Just as the cat needs to hunt mice, the dog wants to hunt too.  It part of them and I hold no fault to either of them. We called the nearest vet who responded with "we are booked unless you want to just bring her in and put her down?" Yah we hung up on them. Then we called Strathmore Vet and while bawling I explained that I had absolutely no money, I had no idea how to get any money but I would do anything to save her. The vet worked tirelessly through the night and all the next day.  Shorty had her tail amputated, and a second time from the damage.   Luckily she had enough blood to rebuild and just a fractured radial bone.  They tried there best to cast the arm but gave me a 50/50 chance of keeping it. The last two weeks of healing, Shorty has been such a trooper.  We have been trapped in my room since but I think she knows its only so she can heal.  I have not gone to work or left her side. I thought she was getting depressed the last few days but yesterday we found out its pain, from the second bone finally giving out. Shorty deserves to keep her leg and she deserves proper care.  The feeling of not being able to provide this to her is horrible. I cant even afford the amputation. With amputation I wonder if I will ever let her back outside? There is 2 jerks on our street that always speed and with her only having 3 legs I would be too worried that someone would run her over. Most people in our town will actually stop and let a cat cross the road, we are always watching for children and the speed is basically 30 klm/hr over the entire hamlet or Carseland. This is my last resort. I have tried to phone Pet Card to get approve for a pet loan but I don't make enough.  I actually don't make anything since covid and have been operating my print shop at a loss for 6 months. My customers have been hit hard, they don't have the money to pay anymore.  Its not their fault and I have stayed close with all my clients because I truly understand what they are going through. I tried selling all my game consoles i have collected since I was 12, that didn't pan out. The stress of everything gave me shingles, so I have 4 bags of bottles to take in and I am now better so I can actually take them in, but that's not going to help her today. So I am here asking for help because Shorty deserves better and I am okay with putting myself out there for her. She really deserves a chance to keep her freedom and live the happy life she had before. Thank you so much for reading, sharing or considering helping my little girl. My love to you all Jennifer

[big-meows]

Borderlands 3 final thoughts

disclaimers:

Fuck randy pitchford. I mean, obviously i feel like that goes without saying, yes I bought the game, i like the series and sometimes a bitch just wants to sink 70+ hours into a hyper-violent but ultimately goofy, non-threatening video game in a stressful time, sue me.

to that end, yes I played on easy. I also played solo. 

i play for fun and i dont fuck with build culture or w/e. i picked moze because i know her VA personally, and that was my only deciding factor.

I play on the ps4 so frankly i have no horse in the epic/steam debacle. I dont really care.

i didnt play bl1 but ive played the others.

spoilers. all the spoilers.

Anthony burch deserved better. I cant believe i have to see “at least im not anthony burch” in the year of our lord 2019 but its still happening out there. He deserved better, and this game is proof. maybe bl2 was “memey,” but it had a solid foundation and a great villain. TPS was also good, i think, honestly i only played it once and I dont remember it super well. Tales is the best in the franchise, and yes it counts, shut up. Burch’s absence is felt here. the story is weak, the villains are flat, and everything is written with the energy of a man who thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is fucking hysterical. like, im not even mad at “big dock energy” or the other stupid, already dated goofs, Im mad that every NPC was painful to listen to, or that rhys, arguably one of the most developed characters in the BL universe by virtue of the game he came from, was 90% mustache jokes. All these characters are like the versions that come out of fandom a year later, flanderized and already boiled down to their one token joke and repeated forever and eternity. You just met Lorelei and she seems cool, but man she REALLY NEEDS HER COFFEE AND IT IS HER ONLY DEFINING PERSONALITY TRAIT LOL!!!

Vaughn is The WORST, BRO

i dont think anyone really grows imo. Im particularly irritated by ava, who i very much want to like! but she has like three stock phrases she uses throughout the entire game, so after maya gets evaporated, you go talk to her and shes like “WOW this ship is cool, so much shit to steal!” like, you couldnt program her to sulk or not want to see anyone for a while? come on.

influencers as villains could have been really powerful if it had been introduced gradually, but mostly it was just obnoxious and too on the nose. troy and tyreen were very hollow. you get brief glimpses of humanity in them, but they’re so rare it almost feel like an accident. You get one(?) mention of their childhood before you finally stumble fully into the plot in the last few hours of the game. troy’s “betrayal” could be spotted a mile away despite it being hardly developed. I honestly dont even know if they loved each other or not? Was tyreen hurt by troy’s betrayal and subsequent demise? did troy look up to her and want to be her equal, or did he want out from under her shadow? i dont know. did i miss those echo logs? should the majority of the lore in a game be MISSABLE?

jack tracked well as a villain because you, over time, learned exactly how awful he was beyond “cocky corporate asshole who wants you dead” re: angel being his daughter. the twins are just....flatline obnoxious the whole way through.

sucks to be leda, apparently extremely badass but ultimately an afterthought who lives and dies offscreen only in recollections of the past.

sucks even worse to be fiona. i can tell you right now i wont be fucking with DLC unless it brings back fiona.

hammerlock saved this fucking game, he brings a certain dignity to the table that really helped level the tone after the rhys-katagawa stuff. Eden-6 was actually my favorite section of the game. loved hammerlock, loved jakobs, loved clay, and LOVED the jakobs estate. dunno why?? maybe because that level had me thinking “i could almost pretend im playing bioshock rn”

my GF absolutely hates the new claptrap. she’s right though. a claptrap that experiences emotions outside of “delusional exuberance” isnt actually claptrap

can my boy mordecai catch one single fucking break

is the vault hunter ever actually there? its really distracting how they’re never actually involved in cut scenes.

zer0 was too chatty. kind of kills the air of mystery.

gripes aside, i DID clock like 76 hours as moze, and i will probably continue to fuck around in it post game to clean up some extra stuff. might even start a zane of fl4k. the reviews promised it would be “more borderlands, nothing special” and thats what we got. it came at a time when i needed to remove myself from social media for a few weeks and lose myself in something mindless and violent, and it provided me with exactly that. its not elevated from BL2/TPS at all. the only improvement i can think of off the top of my head is being able to change quest objectives without entering a menu (thank god). it falls short in a series that always kind of had a low bar to begin with. disappointed but not surprised. i knew burch and eddings were both gone and that their absence would be felt. but i wanted to be gay and do crime anyway. so. you know. whatever. i got approximately what i paid for.