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Something Old
Written for @harry-on-broadway's fic challenge.
Written prompt used: "What's this, then?"
Watching your childhood best friend (& the man you've been in love with for half your life) get married proves to be harder than you thought. Will you be able to make a quick getaway to avoid further heartbreak? Or is it finally time for the truth come out?
A/N: the pic represents more of an overall vibe rather than a definite representation of what he is wearing. but the vibes of the pic are absolutely accurate. some liberties have been taken with accurate chronology of his dating life bc this is fiction town usa baby. takes place during the fine line era, in a world with no covid. dream world. please let me know what you think!
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There was a huge water fountain, right in the middle of the hotel courtyard, making criss-cross patterns into the pool below and you couldn’t take your eyes off of it. It was soothing, in a way. Or at least you were trying to force the concept of being soothed upon yourself, trying to focus in on the sounds of the water and the lights reflecting off of it. Anything to not think about the background noise of the party, of the clinking glasses and what that sound would mean, to think of him – nope. Back to the fountain.
Your mother cleared her throat. Her eyes had been burning holes into the side of your face but you couldn’t face her or that look of pity in her eyes. Your fingers tapped against the handle of your suitcase as you kept your eyes on the water. Just keep staring at the water.
“Did you call an Uber or…?”
“I’m just going to take the rental back to the city and go from there.”
“You could always take it back to the house. Bit of a drive but…”
The thought of walking into your childhood home, alone, while his own childhood home sat right next door was too much to bear. “I don’t,” you cleared your throat as your voice caught, “I don’t think I can be surrounded by all those memories. God, Mum, this is so embarrassing –”
“Oh, baby, no. Come here” Your mom rushed over to you and wrapped her arms around you in a death grip as you let yourself collapse into her arms, feeling 8, 15 and 26 all at once. The tears which you had been trying to save for the drive poured out of you, your mum shushing you as you buried your face into her shoulder. She stood there and held you tight, letting you release all the emotions you had pent up since you got here. You had never had an explicit conversation with her about your true feelings for Harry but with the way she was holding you, you knew you never had to. She knew. The thought made you tighten your arms around her, burying your head a little deeper as the tears flowed. Just a few more minutes.
“I’m getting your dress soaked,” you said, trying to pull your head away and pull yourself together before your mum tightened her arms around you, holding you in place.
“Could give two shits about my dress.” “Mum!” “I’m serious, I don’t care. Not when my baby is weeping in my arms.”
“Okay, I’m hardly weeping,” you huffed a laugh as you took a step back and wiped your face, looking into your mum’s kind eyes, glassy in their own right.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to him? Tell him what’s on your mind?”
You shook your head before she even finished her sentence. You had tried that, years ago. Winter break 2013. He had been gone almost two years, touring and traveling the world while you watched from afar at uni. You had walked down your stairs, rehearsing your big speech in your head while smoothing down the new skirt you bought for the occasion, only to look up and find him in your living room with the most famous pop star in the world in his arms. He had brought her home to “meet the family” he said. Which included you. You were just family. And he dated pop stars now. A gut punch that you quickly healed with copious amounts of tequila. And a drunken hookup with a boy from sixth form. It was fine. You were fine.
You had been best friends since you were 8, neighbors since you were 6, and for years you brushed off your crush, chocking it up to an extension of affection for your first male friend - the boy who made you laugh until you cried, who always needed help with math homework, who dragged you onto the dance floor when everyone else was too nervous to at that first school dance. The boy who stood in front of you in his bedroom, nervously singing along to a Youtube track before asking you if this was something you thought he could do, for real. The boy who invited you to join him a few weeks each summer, riding bikes through muggy Colorado streets for late night froyo or hiking those Hollywood hills. The boy growing into a man who called you when you were studying at the library, in the middle of the night halfway across the world, feeling overwhelmed by the pressure and needing a piece of home to slow his exhausted, racing mind.
This crush was something you thought you would grow out of. Except you didn’t. His life had become drastically different than the one you two had shared in your small hometown but whenever you were together, it was like no time had passed. After that fateful winter break, you had tried to keep your distance but each time you saw him, you were sucked right back in.
There had been more moments - falling over yourselves during a drunken McDonalds run, or during a screaming match in the middle of a very competitive round of charades, or when he bounded off stage after that first solo night at MSG, wrapping you in his arms and holding tightly - moments where the words were about to burst from your chest, overwhelmed by the love you felt for him. But you knew it would never work - he wasn’t interested. And, even if he was, you were nowhere near his league. Even his one night stands were straight off the Forbes 500 list. Not that you were ashamed of yourself or who you had become, you just knew, for many reasons, that there was a disconnect there. He wasn’t interested. You were family. You had to keep it that way.
You steeled yourself to get over it, to be okay with just being his friend. And you had convinced yourself it worked. You had met his girlfriends over the years; no longer tearing yourself apart in comparison as you blossomed into that confidence that comes with getting older and finding your place in the world. Falling into relationships with some really great guys, guys that you really cared for, who made you laugh and met your family on your birthdays. But no matter how hard you tried, those relationships always seemed to fizzle out because you never felt that spark. That once in a lifetime spark. That spark you felt the second you saw him yesterday - a smile blooming across his face as his arms lifted up in a cheer when he locked eyes with you. All that hard work shot to shit in an instant.
You snapped back to reality, shaking your head more fiercely, desperately trying to get those memories to fall out of your head forever. “That’s not how he sees me, Mum. It’s not - this is just something I have to get over. But I can’t do it here.”
Her face fell, before she took a deep breath and steeled herself. “Okay,” she said, looking at you with new determination. “So, what’s the story? Work emergency? Appendicitis? Stomach virus? Uncontrollable pooping?”
“Mum! Oh my god!”
“What?!” she shrugged, her eyes glowing with a playful twinkle as she watched the smile grow on your face. “I just feel like the more details we provide, the more believable it will be.”
“Whatever you have to do,” you said, rolling your eyes as you pulled her into another hug.
“It’ll be okay, lovebug,” she whispered in your ear. “This pain won’t last forever. He’s not the be all, end all.”
“Why does it feel like it then?” you said softly, tightening your arms around her, unable to stop yourself when more tears began to fall. “I really have to get going, I don’t want anyone to see -”
Suddenly, the sounds of the party got progressively louder as the doors swung open. Your stomach sank as you heard the last voice you wanted to hear. “There you are! Been looking all over for you two. Ang? - Oh. ”
“Yeah?” Your mom turned to face him, blocking you from view as you furiously wiped away your tears.
“Mum’s been looking all over for you. Something about a bet involving tequila shots…”
“Ah, was hoping she’d forget about that. Tell her I’ll be in in a bit, just need to help this one -”
You cleared your throat, keeping your head down as you nudged her forward. “No, Mum, it's fine. Go in. I’ll be okay.”
She turned to look at you, eyes searching. “But you’re not feeling. well.” She emphasized her point by placing her hand on your forehead. Oh, god. No Oscar in her future then.
You looked at her, feeling his eyes on you, shaking your head. “It’s okay. Really. Have fun”.
“Love you.” She kissed you on the cheek as she squeezed your hand, whispering, “Be brave”.
You kept your eyes to the ground as you heard her walk inside, closing the doors behind her. Enveloping the two of you in silence. You looked up, taking him in for the first time all night. He knocked the wind out of you.
His white suit was tailored to perfection, the dress shirt open in a deep v down his chest, revealing the smattering of tattoos that you swore he’d regret one day, but that only looked perfectly in place as his muscles grew more defined. His hair, curls tousled just the way you liked it. The smattering of scruff along his chiseled jawline, held tightly as he took in the scene in front of him. He looked good.
You can’t imagine what you looked like. Tear tracks streaking down your face and hair messy from how often you had been nervously running your hands through it. Dressed for a cocktail hour while wearing your sneakers for the quick getaway. You had to get the fuck out of here.
“Thought only the bride was supposed to wear white.” The words slipped out of your mouth before you had the chance to stop them. This was not the time for banter. You should be in the car already, leaving all this behind you. You snuck a look at his face, his green eyes locking with yours, his brow furrowed in confusion.
He looked right at you, his deep voice rumbling as he shot back, “Wanted to be dramatic. It’s my day too.”
“Classic H.” you said. You could not get your feet to move. Your car was no more than 10 paces away and yet here you were, frozen under his questioning gaze.
“What’s all this, then?” he asked, as he took in your suitcase, the car keys fiddling around in your hand. “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah. Uh, a work emergency came up.”
“Bullshit.”
“No it’s not -”
“Your mum just said you weren’t feeling well.”
Shit. “Both things are true. H, please just - I have to go.”
“No, I think I have the right to know why my best mate is leaving my wedding weekend early. Why you’re standing out here with your mum and - are you - were you crying?” He looks desperately confused, eyes searching your face. “Need you to talk to me.”
He takes a few steps towards you when he notices your hands visibly starting to shake. “Hey, hey…” He reaches his hands towards yours as you quickly put your hands on your suitcase, pulling it towards you. You take a few steps back and try to take a few steadying breaths.
“Please,” your voice was barely a whisper. “You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“I always notice when you're gone. Haven’t been able to find you all night, I’ve been trying to hang out with you. Wanted to spend time with you.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the look on his face, trying to not think too hard about those words. Trying to be casual, nonchalant. Trying to be anything but the crumbling mess you were in front of him. “C’mon, I’m not even in the wedding party it’ll be better -”
“Is that what this is about? You knew we were keeping it small on purpose, didn’t think you needed to be in the bridal party to know how much y’mean to me but I guess–”
Anger suddenly swirled in you, turning your cheeks warm, eyes blazing. As if you’d be out here having a full mental breakdown over something so trivial. You scoffed, “You think I’m out here crying because of some arbitrary fucking title? You know that’s never mattered to me when it comes to you.”
“Then WHAT is going on with you?”
“Can you please just drop it and let me –”
“It’s my fucking wedding, you’ve been avoiding me ever since you got here. I need you here and you’re just standing outside with your car keys and your fucking suitcase like it’s nothing. Like I’m nothing–
“Oh my god, how can you even say that – ”
“Well, what am I supposed to think? I’m flying blind here you won’t TALK to me–”
“I CAN’T WATCH YOU MARRY HER!”
The words were loud, louder than you meant them and out faster than you could stop them. Fuck. This was. Not. How This. Was supposed to go. You shut your eyes. Your mind was racing, mouth trying to move to make an excuse but you couldn’t think of anything and then you hear a derisive snort, your eyes flying open to see his, suddenly colder, taunting.
“‘S that what this is about, then? Never did like her, did you? Always wondered when we’d have this conversation. Thought you may have been a little more fair and try to do it before my wedding weekend but hey, guess I’m not the only one who can be dramatic.”
You stood there, gaping at him, tears pricking your eyes as he glared back at you.
“Let’s hear it, then. What’s so wrong with her?”
Oh, he misunderstood. You could let him think this is the truth, that you’re just some bitchy childhood friend who never approved of the fiancée and waited until the last moment to make a dramatic exit. You could leave right now and let him think that. But he needed to know the truth, as painful as it may be. You began to shake your head, the tears seconds from pouring out.
“No, that’s not - you’re not understanding me.”
“Am I not? Seems pretty clear to me” His tone was still taunting, angry. He had every right to be. This was supposed to be the biggest weekend of his life and here he was, out here with you, instead of partying with all of his loved ones mere feet away. The thought of it made the tears spill over, a small sob escaping you. Through the tears you saw his face drop, his brows furrowing.
“It’s not her. She’s lovely. She’s so lovely and you should be in there with her. You could be marrying fucking Beyonce and I wouldn’t be okay with it. I … I can’t watch you marry someone else without - without wishing it was me instead.”
You watched as he froze, his eyes widening. In shock? Anger? Pity? You weren’t quite sure.
You took a deep breath and kept going, continuing to dig yourself into the grave of your own making. Every part of you was screaming at you to stop, but now that you got started, the words kept coming, “I’ve been in love with you since we were like 15. You’re my best friend in the whole world and I…god, I can’t breathe when I look at you sometimes. You’re the first person I want to make laugh with a new lame joke, the first person I want to share good news with. The first person I want to do anything with. You’re kinda it for me. Always have been. You’re just my favorite person in the world. And I –”
You shook your head, cutting yourself off. Your heart was about to beat out of your chest, your cheeks burning. You stand there, slightly panting, watching him watch you, his own eyes glassy, his own breath coming in fast spurts. Neither of you dared to move.
You stand there, watching as your confession explodes between the two of you, helpless to do anything but stand in the carnage. It is deadly silent. A minute passes, then another. It could be five, it could be twenty. What did you just do?
“Fuck, fuck, I’m sorry.”, you said frantically, your brain finally catching up to your mouth. “You should go back inside. I’m –”
He inhales sharply, head shaking in disbelief, “Y’think - y’think I’m going to go back in there right now? After–? Fuck.”
He drags his hand down his face, bringing his other hand to meet it and standing there with his head in his hands. You wish you could get a good read on him, to tell how he’s feeling, but you just stand there, heart beating wildly, in disbelief of what you have done.
“I’ve got a reception hall full of people here.”
“I know.”
“People traveled for this.”
“I know.”
“Why - why now? I had no fucking idea. Why’d you never tell me before?”
“I tried, but the timing was never right – ”
“Yeah, well, your timing right now is impeccable,” he deadpanned.
You rolled your eyes, though his sense of humor reappearing made a zing of hope run through you. Maybe he won't hate you forever. Maybe, one day, the friendship could be salvaged. Maybe you didn’t just embarrass yourself beyond belief - though your burning cheeks indicate otherwise.
He clears his throat, pulling you out of your racing mind. “This whole time…you’ve felt this way? This whole time?”
You had been expecting to confess and run. For him to smile politely at you, let you down easy. You had spent your whole life believing this was a one sided thing. But here he was, looking utterly wrecked, his green eyes never once wavering from yours.
“Yes, H,” you told him. “I’ve loved you this whole time.”
You watch as his face crumbles slightly. He brings a hand up to his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, a mumbled, shaky “fuck” leaving his lips.
You clear your throat and wipe at your eyes, praying your waterproof mascara is doing its job. As much as you want to live in this fantasy of possibilities, you can’t let yourself make more of a mess of this than you already have. He was getting married. Tomorrow.
“H, the last thing I ever wanted to do is ruin this for you”, your voice shakes the more you look at him, “I will be fine. You should go back inside. I’m going to go.” You grab your suitcase and keys and start to make your way to the car. The sound of his voice calling your name stops you in your tracks.
“Don’t,” he says, his voice cracking.
You turn to face him, finding him staring right back at you. His glassy eyes ablaze, his jaw set. You don’t make a sound.
“Please.” He closes the distance between you in a few quick strides. Hesitantly, he lifts his hand to your jaw. You’re sure he can feel the warmth there, blooming at his touch. You lock eyes with him, both of you barely breathing. After a second, his thumb caresses your cheekbone, his eyes fluttering closed. He leans his forehead against yours and you can feel his hot breath on your lips, the smell of mint and tequila filling your nose. You might pass out.
“This is a lot to process,'' he whispers.
“I know.” You try to pull your head back a bit to give him space, but he holds you steady in his grip. His other hand falls to your waist, both of you inhaling sharply at the contact.
“I have to go back in there. Supposed to get married tomorrow,” he whispers as his thumb starts to draw circles on your hip bone. You’re sure even he can hear your heartbeat at this point, the way it’s thundering in your ears.
“Y-you don’t owe me anything, you know”, you whisper back, his brow furrowing as he feels your breath on his lips. “Just because I told you. There’s no pressure or anything. I know, like… I’m not….I’m not expecting - I should -”
He takes a step closer to you, pulling you flush against him, effectively cutting you off. “Don’t. You can’t. ‘S not pressure, I just - I don’t know”, he takes a deep breath, “I need time. Please. Don’t leave. You don’t have to go back in there but don’t leave tonight. Please.”
He kisses you on the cheek.
“Please.” His words fall across your lips as he moves to kiss your other cheek.
“Fuck. I wish…just - please don’t go.” He leans in slowly, kissing you once on the neck, right below your ear, inhaling deeply. His forehead falls to your collarbone, resting there. “You can’t go, not yet. Not until…Please. I need time to think. I don’t know. Promise me you’ll still be here later tonight.”
He lifts his head, holding eye contact with you until you nod, bringing your hand up to wrap around his wrist, moving your thumb in soothing circles. He stares at you, eyes dropping to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes. His grip on your hip tightens, his eyes dropping to your lips once more.
You hear glasses tinkering, calls of his name. Shit. You take a step back, his hand sliding from your jaw to your wrist, holding a loose grip. Your cheeks burning at how caught up in the moment you got, head reeling at what this could all mean.
“I have to -” “I know.”
He leans in, presses his lips to your forehead, not once letting go of your wrist.
He steps back, his glassy eyes flitting all over your face before meeting yours once more and holding your gaze. “You’ll be at the hotel later tonight? You promise?”
“I promise,” you say, squeezing his hand once before letting go.
He nods sharply, walking backwards towards the door, eyes never leaving yours. He stops right before the entrance, quickly wiping at his eyes, shaking his head. You can see him physically brace himself as he pulls the door open, a tight smile on his lips as he gets pulled into the party once more.
The doors close, once again surrounding you with silence. With your own thoughts. The feeling of his lips on your neck playing over and over again in your mind.
Holy. Shit.
#harry styles fan fiction#harryonbroadwayficchallenge#harry styles angst#would u believe this was supposed to be posted 3 hours ago but i got so hung up on one detail that i couldnt iron out#i am a gal who loves run on sentences with commas and for that i will not apologize#fic rec#babys first fic#cant believe we are here#harry styles fic#i have read this so many times i started to hate it thats when ya know its time to post#just losing it in the tags over here#something old
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Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.
#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family#after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay#like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad#Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin#He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce#He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom#The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole#Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3#Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less??#He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette#Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store#and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him#Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have#Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma#Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens#That’s the tragedy. The drama.#Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones#It was inevitable#Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne
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I'm seeing sum ppl being like "Sukuna is being sooo unreasonable reacting so angrily bc Yuuji wants to kill him like what did he expect!!!" but Sukuna's not angry bc of that. I think he'd even prefer Yuuji to insta kill him. That whole time he was in the places of Yuuji's memory he's been waiting for Yuuji to get it over with, already. Expecting Yuuji to kill him.
But then
Yuuji basically tells him: That just now? Yeah, it was me giving you a chance. Because, even though i hate you, i dont want to kill you. Because you are human. You don't have to play this role.
And that's what enrages Sukuna so fucking much. The brat has the gall to feel sorry for him. Him, the strongest. Him, someone unabashedly uncaring, unfeeling beyond repair. Evil.
Sukuna is not like other people. He doesn't see himself as people; that's why he can't ever find an "equal", can't even fathom finding one. He doesn't have a role, he does what he wants, because he can.
At this point he can endure Yuuji killing him. He had help, he got lucky, idk, whatever excuse he's probably telling himself will do. He will face it without feeling a thing; not anger, not sadness, no happiness, no fear. He's above it all... But Yuuji feeling sorry for him? Like he's above Sukuna?
Yuuji is threatening Sukuna, yes, but that's not all. He's showing him everything that will be taken away from him. From Sukuna, by Yuuji.
Like Sukuna is like any other mortal who walks the Earth. Vulnerable. A human being instead of a monster.
(So, uuh, yeah no. Sukuna won't act all chill like always lol...)
#but whatever i guess.......#just kidding im losing my mind over here#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 265#....... and yknow what? *slaps on a#sukuita#tag as well* ha!#also did i abuse italics and ;;;;s in this post????? YEESSSS ^^#ALSO (hmm.... wont dis girl shut up?) no shade 2 those who interpreted it as whatever other different thing obviously??#just my humble opinion u_u#di4ry#jjk
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one thing about ik is that she will always reach out
#obey me#art#i had the idea for this and managed to bulldoze through drawing it all without losing motivation halfway through#but Do Not expect me to post art this frequently in future#idk how to do panels so if the middle bit with the text might be laid out weird#i added the stars and feathers and stuff because there was a bunch of empty space around the boxes#obey me satan#jtta ik#(btw the crumbling symbol next to the exploding feather is the wrath symbol from in-game)#(with the pride symbol attached upside down at the bottom)#(not so much symbolism as it is just me whacking you over the head with the point but it looks cool)#i had a lot of fun doing satan's more monstrous design so i might try my hand at some of the other demons later?#i do have some ideas for levi (deep sea creatures are just really fun)#also happy nightbringer release day!! it showed up on my homescreen like half an hour ago and i was like “wait what”#for some reason i thought it wasn't releasing til next week??#the new genshin patch is today as well so looks like i'll have plenty to do with the rest of my free time for the easter hols#(i promise i'm also working on the next chapter of jtta but i am so stuck on how to get lucifer actually Talking)#anyway. here's a gold star for making it through all my rambling in the tags for anyone who did so: ⭐
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YES. DEVINEAUX. HE IS MY FAVORITE!
HEEHEE HI YESSSS IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE A PATHETIC FRENCH MAN
#Carmen Sandiego#Chase Devineaux#I am literally just sitting here losing my mind over him. AUGH#carmen sandeigo 2019#carmen sandeigo netflix#I see the misspelled tags still come up first for this show#doodles#art#carmen sandiego 2019#carmen sandiego netflix#lekko's art
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please I'm losing my fucking mind
#listen. it is possible that this is fake#but if it is. they did a very good job holy shit#also this was posted just before people from both Kendrick's and Drake's team called the rap battle 'officially over' in a kinda sus way#anyways I've been mostly reading reddit posts on it (which are very unhinged) bc tumblr people care less#but I am. losing my mind out here I needed to bring this one over#tracking tag#rambling#kendrick lamar#drake#music#current events
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#“well howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?”#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#“... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol me”#“you know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!”#“see all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rain”#“I mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#“...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?”#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess 😵#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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I'm rewatching hbomb's plagiarism video and oh boy he really did predict every single trick Somerton pulled in his new video.
Like. People want hbomb to make a followup video, a response to the 'apology' and... he doesn't need to! Just rewatch the Filip section of his video and he covers pretty much everything James said!
The excuses, the deflection, the not addressing the truly egregious things he did because it would make him look worse...
Which really does make it feel like James Somerton didn't actually watch hbomb's video. Some people have voiced their doubts that he saw it and I can't help but agree, especially since some of his claims are debunked directly in the video (the part about getting Sean Griffin's permission).
#james somerton#tagging that so my followers can block the tag#not so people can find this post lol#sorry folks i know i said i wouldn't post more but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i'm just losing my mind over here
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this show would be good if literally everything about it was different
#read these tags please(unless ur an HH fan in which case please ignore them) >>> I DO NOT LIKE THIS SHOW#i hate viv///ziepop so fucking much its actually unreal. every time i think about her i seethe#been hatewatching it ('legally') nd its awful. like i mean i knew it would be going into it but goddamn. so much worse than i expected#you may be like 'whyd you draw this then'. i wanted to make a finished piece with my redesigns#for funsies me and my boyf have been rewriting/redesigning the whole show . thats been our fun little craft#i feel similar about this that i do about fnaf and miraculous ladybug even tho this is objectively worse in every way#theres this eternal feeling of like. man. if the writers were competent then this concept would be interesting#but theyre not so. here we are#anyway. im gona try not to put hate in the tags lol#but i like how this turned out too much NOT to post it#anyways mutuals please dont unfollow me for this i promise im normal JDSFHJKDFHJDFKHJK#Hazbin Hotel Redesigns#Hazbin Hotel Critical#Angel Dust#Husk#Huskerdust#I guess.#genuinely a little scared to post this ones. im scared ill lose mutuals over this AND/OR fans will harass me for those tags JHKSDFHJKJK#im posting it and then immediately going to sleep. might delete later if even 1 thing goes wrong#EDIT RL QUICK i wanna add: i dont care if you like the show <33 good for you!!! i respect it!! i liked it when i was 14. i just dont now. <#cloudysarts
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Ok no one else is allowed to smile softly at Atsushi before letting themselves get killed to stop him dying with them anymore, he's got enough going on as it is 😭
Bonus with all three of Atsushi's girlfriends looking at him softly
Atsushi harem but the catch is they all keep telling Atsushi to go so he doesn't die with them.
Reading the dialogue between them actually makes me feel sick it's literally a pattern! This keeps happening from Lucy's 'you have to live on' to Sigma's 'let go, or you'll die too' (not this panel but 3 panels before) to Akutagawa's 'you damn fool, hurry up and go'!!!
The patterns....the patterns!!!
#I am once again making a post on these panels of Sigma and Lucy because I can't believe both times I didn't even clock that Akutagawa#pulled this too#oh my God wait Lucy might've been about to let herself die just like the other two she just didn't let Atsushi know#like she knew she was gonna get taken back by the Guild here but whether or not she thought they'd dispose of her by abandoning her or-#-killing her idk#the official 'I'm about to traumatise Atsushi' look ig 😭#Akutagawa#sigma#Lucy#Sigmatsu#atsulucy#sigmatsuakulucy#Atsushi#Asagari you are making me lose my mind over here#Tanizaki is the only one in the Atsushi harem not making me lose my mind. Thank you king 🙏🏼#the urge to let yourself die to save a catboy is too strong in the bsd universe#bsd#also everything written under the pictures of the three of them was written after I got halfway through these tags and realised Lucy was-#- also ready to accept what could've been her death but the difference is she didn't let Atsushi know#sskk#ignore that I forgot to tag that#ATHM#bungobble my post
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Honestly, dark(ish)/obsessive Nami is an interesting concept to me. Oda memes on her and Zeus' relationship a lot (well, to be fair, he kind of memes on Nami in general) - but try to remove all those comedic elements, just for a little bit. She's so genuinely warm with women, makes friends so effortlessly. I always think about what she said about Tashigi here:
And she just strikes me as someone who'd go for a girlfriend who's a little older, unintentionally. Just think about it - first she was an orphan, then Bell-mère took her and Nojiko in and they didn't exactly have an easy life - until all of that got absolutely destroyed by Arlong. She never had it easy and it all just got... worse, actually, until she joined the Straw Hats. So, we know this. And we've seen how much she bares herself to the various girls and women of the story - Vivi, Lola, Shirahoshi, Wanda (and, of course, Robin)... I think someone who's not as aloof as Robin, who is warm and oozes comfort, who lets her in and lets her be herself, in all her entirety - that's someone she'd fall for. A sprinkle of mommy issues, a pinch of traumatizing childhood and you have the perfect requirements for a partner who can get weirdly clingy, quickly dependent. And if you let her 'run free' with her little gang of rascals, just provide a safe base to come back home to, unwavering affection and love - she'll never want to say goodbye. She might not realize it herself, but she needs that stability. Comfort. Warmth. It won't take her long to feel like she can't go on without you, without the way you make her feel. Sure, her feelings for the Straw Hats are grand, but you... you're just a touch... closer to her, feed that need to be loved and cherished a little better, a bit more intimately. Nami doesn't look the part, but I think she'd be fiercely protective over you and she's incredibly scared of losing you, ultimately. To you, she's probably nothing but gentle, almost pouty when you're saying goodbye for whatever reason, but to others, she's so different. That calculating, knife-sharp girl, who knows how to use everything she has to get an advantage.
#that poor girl never really had a chance huh... all she's ever known are hurt and transactions... so if you love her freely...#she's definitely gonna lose it a little#she needs a mommy gf who smoothes over that little stray lock of hair and smiles at her with nothing but love#i'm still only on chapter 935 so sorry if there is anything i'm missing but i'm just spitballing here#/nami#/one piece#nami x reader#idk putting this in the tag to feed it a little it's a bit dry
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
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i'm well aware of the second gif's lower quality but i had to reduce it cuz of file size fjwngjekwjkd
oh i am. i am VERY unwell. oh lord, oh geez /pos
#cooler#dragon ball#dbz cooler#dragon ball project multi#COOLER PLEASE JUST ONE CHANCE I'M BEGGING YOU WHAT DO I GOTTA DO BBG#the way i shook and vibrated over the first animation-i am ILL#barking. shamelessly so.#would go bonkers at 11 am over this man again gotDAM#screenrecorded these for the people (myself and the other cooler fans in the tags; hi hello! sorry you're seeing me lose it in here btw-)
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Man, if I had a nickel for every time Essek Thelyss's disguise was dispelled via Anti-Magic field in a situation somehow related to Ludinus Da'leth, I'd have two nickels.
Which isn't alot, but it's weird that it has happened twice.
#So Far!#Essek Thelyss#CR Spoilers#Critical Role Spoilers#Critical Role C3#CR C3#CR C3 Spoilers#So many spoiler tags Lol#Man I managed to accidentally avoid spoilers until this afternoon#I'm not actively blocking them I just was REAL unplugged#Lol XD#So anyway#The Hot Boi#Making an appearance and immediately harassing his boyfriend/husband/lover's Ex#What a Man™ XD#I'm losing my whole mind over here 😂😂😂#Go Hot Boi Go!!#Bren sends his regards#Now go look at Ashton's Head!!#Boi must REEK (affectionate) of Dunamancy
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started a new ot2 file and playing around osvald’s shaky scrutinize chances earlygame feels like this
#octopath#sketch#8path tag#osvald v. vanstein#i didn't even start questioning people until i got castti like losing a 96% scrutinize check is just humiliating at that point...#coercing is going fine but that's bc protag temenos player over here yknow
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the gothic literature lover inside of me is not surviving the winter.
#not pjo#chitter chatter#tea reads tag#ITS DIRE OUT HERE#not to be dramatic or anything#i swear to god if we have to deal with people talking nonstop about THIS adaptation in a positive way I’ll lose it.#like mainstream takes on wuthering heights when this is the cast already makes me fear#quit while we’re ahead. with Dorian gray too. it’s all over.#im being dramatic but gothic lit is just. I’ve always said it is hard to adapt but we aren’t even TRYING
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