#just like how stepping away from ask blogging helped with my comfort even discussing sex

[faretheeoscar]

RED WINGS

Pairing: Marc Spector x reader, (brief mentions of Steven Grant & Jake Lockley)

--Warnings: 🔥18+, nsfw, period talk, swearing, period sex, mentions of blood, pussy eating, face riding--

Summary: you have period cramps and the boys find a way to help you to get rid of them

A/N: English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there’s any mistakes, this is also my first published blorbo so bear with me pls.

Proofread by my girls: @mandodinstuff & @lauraispunk

Word count: 2k~

Header by: @mandodinstuff

Period cramps, there is nothing worst that could exist in the whole world, the discomfort of them, the excruciating pain you feel each month,that you wouldn’t even wish it your worst enemy to experience it, has been incapacitating you all day.

You have been curled up in the bed wincing in pain without moving, while your sweet boyfriends have been doing everything on their power to help you with the stupid cramps, they know you always go through hell while on your period and it breaks their heart to see you crying and whimpering in pain.

———

For the past hour the boys have been searching on the internet methods to get your cramps go away, Steven whom was the last one that was trying to help you with your cramps, has been searching for information on every web page and blog he can click on, he’s really getting tired of reading and trying endless remedies that haven’t been helping you, alongside the ones that Jake has tried with you. He’s very concentrated while looking online, but he doesn’t find anything, he is about to give up and close the 100th article he has read about periods when suddenly something on the article in front of him catches his eye, he starts reading it and his face starts getting all shades of red while he does it, he finally has the information of a good way to make your cramps go away, according to the blog “empowered women” the most efficient way to help you have a slight relief of pain it’s is by giving you an orgasm…

Steven gets too nervous about it, his mind runs a thousand miles per hour on the thought of maybe hurting you even more by trying to have sex with you while you are in so much pain already, so he chickens out and gives Jake control of the body again, when Jake gets aware of the situation he starts discussing with the other two saying it’s too messy for him (even though Jake tends to be the messiest of them all) and that even though he’s not grossed by it, that blood reminds him of bad things and that he would be much more comfortable by stepping off from this one, he promises to them that he’ll help you later in a different way with the after care.

So that leaves Marc with control of the body and with the task in hand, he doesn’t know how to approach things, he’s usually not that sensitive like Steven with words or direct with them like Jake is, his mind keeps on running a thousand miles per hour while he tries to think about how he would approach the topic, he truly wants to help you, he decides to go to your shared bedroom and knock softly on the door.

———

“Hey baby, just came to see how you’re doin’, How you are feeling?”

He sees your curled up figure, you are hissing in pain and tears are falling from your eyes, you don’t even answer him, you just keep on crying.

Marc approaches you and sits down on the edge of the bed keeping some awkward distance between the two of you, as he still doesn’t know how to approach the topic.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Marc asks caressing your hair softly trying to ease you up and his nerves.

“There’s nothing, Steven and Jake have already tried everything, meds, massages, teas… you name it, but nothing helps, these stupid cramps won’t go away” You hiss in pain again and clutch your stomach. “I hate this, I hate it so much, wish there was a magical cure or something.”

Marc stares at you and fiddles with his fingers, he feels his mouth dry, and it’s like his mouth just decides to just say the thing that has been going inside his head.

“Orgasm” He blurts out, his cheeks redden and looks away from you.

You look up at him with a confused expression “What?”

“Orgasm” Marc clears his throat that feels like the fucking Sahara Desert at this point and directs his gaze back at you “Steven read that… if you…if a woman experiences an orgasm the pain goes away, I mean for a short period of time, it’s not a magical cure but…yeah it helps to ease the pain.”

You have to blink twice to progress what he is saying “I- I don’t know Marc, I’m on my period that’s just too messy, besides, I get very sensitive around there, I don’t think I could even, uh— take you guys fully inside, I’ll be too—-overstimulated” You blush at the thought of it and Marc chuckles nervously.

“Well, you know, there are other ways I can help you with that without you know… actual penetration” Marc just keeps on rambling still feeling nervous about the subject.

Your cheeks get even redder at Marc’s proposition.

“You’re not actually suggesting that-”

“Only if you want me to help you, I mean you know I’ll do anything to help you my love” Marc interrupts you but smiles at you, the blush keeps on creeping up from his neck to his cheeks.

“Well, I don’t know Marc I….” You want to say no, you really want to, but a sharp pain of another cramp comes your way, the feeling of a thousand needles piercing your uterus, makes you hiss and clutch to your stomach again, you just want to try to get rid of the pain, you’ll do anything at this point, so you suck up your pride and accept. “Okay, let’s do this.”

———————————

Marc spread out a towel on the bed below you by your request just to prevent staining the bed sheets, he thinks it’s silly cause he knows the mess is only probably getting only getting on his face and maybe his fingers, but he’s willing to comply to your requests.

He notices you are kind of nervous and hesitant about it, but he wants to ease you, so he starts kissing you and touching you in a soothing but still sexy kind of way, he’s trying to get rid also of his own nerves of doing this, trying to not think much about it, he starts trailing kisses down your body, he sneaks his hand below your oversized t-shirt and starts massaging your breasts, he knows you get sensitive there too, he knows you get a lot of pain and swallow on your breasts so he of course wants to help you get rid away of that pain too.

Your moans and whimpers when you feel the sudden relief of pain from your breasts being masterfully massaged by Marc start to melt his nervous and worries away, he is doing this for you right? He doesn’t need to get nervous about it, if it means taking care of you, he’ll do anything for you, besides its just… fluids, he has tasted blood before, of course it was his own… but it still counts right?

He slowly starts making his way down your body until he reaches the hem of your night shorts and pulls them down, along with your period panties, his breath hitches and he stares at your core for a moment, getting himself ready and trying to process what he is about to do.

You notice a certain hesitation on his gaze as you crook your neck up to see him between your thighs.

“You don’t have to really do this Marc I’ll be fine… I’ll just take another pill and—”

You were about to start a nonsense rambling when it gets interrupted when Marc without a warning starts to eat your pussy.

“S-s-shit” You shiver feeling the immediate overwhelming sensation of his mouth on you.

He presses the flat of his tongue against your clit, and starts eating you up slowly, he is taking his time, making sure you feel good, making sure he takes care of you properly, he starts with small circles and soft licks that have you squirming and dropping your head back on the pillows, when he notices your eagerness he hesitates but he decides to slip one finger into your cunt, just one only for good measure, cause he knows that you love to clench around something, he doesn’t want you to get to overwhelmed by it, cause he knows how sensitive you get when you are on your period, but he just knows that you can take one of his fingers slowly moving deep inside you, it’ll help him get you to your release faster.

You squirm and moan feeling the pleasure of it all, you take Marc’s hair on your hands and pull it softly earning a groan from him, you are starting to feel good, but there’s still something in the back of your head that doesn’t let you enjoy it fully, you look down at Marc and he feels your gaze on him, so that makes him looking up at you while he keeps on working deliciously on you, you moan but when you really look at him a really small smear of blood covering up his nose catches your glimpse, it totally distracts you, you lose concentration, feeling self-conscious and embarrassed about it, even though your wonderful boyfriend it’s willing to take this extends to help you, you start to feel a bit uncomfortable looking at him like that.

“Marc, stop. I can’t I just….”You sigh letting go of his head and resting your own back on the pillows defeated “It’s too messy, and I don’t know, I’m sorry but it’s not getting me anywhere.”

Marc stops what he is doing, he looks up at you, with a frown in his face, he quickly wipes his mouth with the towel that’s on the bed before moving his body up to face you again he cradles the side of your head, he knows you more than he knows himself and he is sure that you are probably getting nervous about it and the redness of your cheeks also tells him that, he chuckles and speaks softly to you.

“Baby, you don’t have to don’t feel self conscious about it, I really want to help you, I promise to you, it’s not that bad, in fact was actually… kind of enjoying it.”

You get shivers down your spine and now your mouth is the one that is fucking dry.

“You… you were?”

Marc chuckles and leads your small hand to touch his crotch, you immediately feel the big bulge on his pants, you let an involuntary moan when you feel the outline of his hard cock, the thought of him getting aroused by you even in that state, makes your head dizzy and filled with desire, you have to press your thighs against each other to not start squirming again.

Marc notices your reaction to him and chuckles, he gives you a kiss on your forehead.

“Will it help if you don’t see me?” Marc gives you a smirk and bites his lip mischievously.

“What do you mean?” You act like you don’t know what he means, but you are so embarrassed about it that you just don’t want to say it.

“Just sit on my face baby, just enjoy it, don’t have to look at the mess, don’t have to get self-conscious about it” He starts to trail down wet kisses along your neck. “Besides, you know how much I like you like to sit on me, the thought of your thighs squeezing my face makes me more excited, please, baby, want you to suffocate me with those thighs, want that pussy all over my face.” He lets out a low growl next to your ear that sends shivers down your spine.

You let out a pathetic moan and before you know it or even have the time to think about it, Marc grabs your body and lifts it up as if you weighed nothing, he pulls you up on top of him, and he positions himself better in bed so his face would be right between your thighs. He licks his lips in anticipation.

You look down at him, you are still hesitant so you lower yourself slowly over his face, your breath feeling even heavier with each passing second, but he can’t have non of it, his protective side tbh at wants to help you along with his lust has filled his senses, so he wraps his hands around your thighs and pulls you down rough into him, a feral groan vibrates through his body as his tongue finds your clit again and starts eating you out. You grab the made up headboard the guys have made out of books to try to balance yourself, while you start to rock your hips shyly against him, feeling the pleasure bulging up inside you again.

He starts licking you up again, this time a bit more feverish about it, he flats his tongue again over your clit and then starts to lick your folds up and down, this time he slips two thick fingers into your cunt, smiling and growling low as he hears you gasp for air. He curls his fingers upwards finding easily that sweet spongy spot that makes you whine and shake.

“Always making pretty noises for me” he murmurs. “That’s it let me help you sweetheart,”

You look down for a moment and see how lost he is while eating you out, he is so concentrated, his curls are a mess now, his brows are furrowed but you can see the satisfaction he has on doing this, it melts all your worries about doing this in a second, his eyes are closed he is ravishing on you, he feels that your movements are stuttering while you look at him, so he opens his eyes for a second to look at you.

And God… he looks perfect.

The look he gives you could almost make you confuse him with Steven, it’s the same lost look he gives you when he has you on the same position above him, you love how Steven always gets pussy drunk while you are riding his face, but to see the same look on Marc? the sight of him being in that state, it almost sends you over the edge.

Marc’s digs his digits further into your skin, wanting to press you even harder against his face, his hard grip on your hips is for sure are gonna leaving marks, but you don’t care. He keeps on letting out low growls and moans ,while his tongue is deep inside you, tasting you and enjoying himself, his pronounced nose catches your clit as you grind on his face, making your moans and legs shiver as the pleasure keeps on building inside you, you swear you are about to break when you let out the biggest and most pathetic moan you think you’ve ever let out.

“That’s my girl,” his low voice resonates deep inside you. “Use me beautiful,let me help you get the pain away.”

His words make you feel more aroused, you buckle your hips and start grinding harder against his face, your movements are sloppy, but he helps you a little by guiding you with the tight grip he has on your hips.

His mouth starts sucking hard your clit as he takes his two fingers again starts fucking you faster with them, the particular tension of your imminent release builds up more and more.

A low growl that sends vibrations to your core accompanied with his masterful fingers send you over the edge, panting hard while your vision turns white for a second, you keep on sloppy grinding on his face, while you feel the pain of your cramps melting away as your orgasm flushes over you, your legs shiver and you almost give in and crush him. Marc it’s quick to catch you with the help of the tight grip he has on your hips, he smiles in satisfaction and guides you down from him, and help you to lean on your side on the bed. Marc sits up quickly and goes to the bathroom to wipes the mess around his mouth before entering the room again with a warm towel to clean up the mess between your thighs and helping you put your underwear back along with your sleeping shorts.

When he is satisfied with his job he leans on the bed behind you and holds you into a tight embrace, he starts rubbing soothing circles over your tummy.

After a couple of moments of silence, you feel Marc’s smile on your neck while he nuzzles his head there.

“Better?” He asks you while leaving a soft kiss on your neck.

“Much Better”

Fic Masterlist

[safetycar-restart]

KINKTOBER DAY 2: BOYPUSSY [MICK SCHUMACHER X READER]

Note: this is an NSFW imagine with Dom!reader and sub!Mick. If you are under 18 or uninterested in this, scroll past. If you think you might like it, then click read more and maybe check out the rest of my blog!

Every day of October I'll be posting a different kinky concept with one or more motorsports people as well as discussing that concept more on my blog. So you have any thoughts, feel free to stop by!

(Boypussy is an AU often used in fan fiction where some men have pussies)

Mick is a virgin when he meets you, something which he doesn't tell you because no one would assume that. He's a virgin because he doesn't want to tell anyone the truth, that he's one of the few men born without a penis. He's had partners before who have shied away the moment he's told them, and it's just heartbreaking.

And then he meets you and he likes you so much! You go on dates and hold hand and kiss and you make him smile and laugh and cuddle him and even buy him flowers and holy fuck he likes you so so much.

Which means it's so much worse because he knows his heart will just break if you turn him down.

Mick is so shy about it, taking months of dating and soft kisses before he even considers telling you the truth. Originally he told himself he would tell you after the first kiss, but then he just couldnt because he couldnt help but think that you'd be upset with him and leave.

And the problem is that he gets turned on so easily with you? You kiss him and hold him close and kiss his neck and chest and he gets so turned on so quickly that he's genuinely surprised he hasn't leaked through his panties before.

And he's never had this issue before, has never struggled to keep control like this. But then you kiss him softly and call him a good boy and say how pretty he is and holy fuck he needs to excuse himself before he ends up humping your thigh.

Eventually he does tell you, but only after you sit him down and try to establish boundaries. You wanted to make sure you knew what was and wasn't okay, because Mick always seemed really into it when you were making out and then he'd pull away and become really shy. You just need to make sure that you aren't pressuring him or making him uncomfortable.

When you ask him, he just wants to start crying because he does want to do more than just kiss you. He wants to SO badly! He's so so desperate for it and he needs it so bad but he can't.

You see he's getting upset so you quickly shut down the conversation, promising him that you down expect sex from him and just want to know what to do to make him more comfortable. Which just... well now he is crying because damnit can you please stop making him feel so safe and loved he's gonna flood his underwear again.

So he tells you, well he sobs it out and your heart just breaks oh, oh this is all? He really thinks you wouldn't like that?

So naturally you kiss him softly and hug him close, promising him that you love him regardless and that you would feel so privileged to take the next step with him, but that it is entirely his decision.

He ends up just sitting with you for a little bit, cuddling against your chest until eventually he looks up and kisses you. You end up kissing for a little bit, until he starts to rub his thighs together a bit and that's when you ask if he's getting turned on.

He nods, blushing bright red and burying his head in your shoulder because it feels so good, and he wants so much more.

And well... there's no way you're gonna leave him hanging.

He's so sensitive? You have to be extra soft with him, softly stroking his inner thigh until he relaxes and then gently rubbing your thumb over his clit, listening to his high whines. Maybe you even have to hold his hand?

He's never had anyone else touch him there before, and he's so so responsive, shaking as he cries and cums all over your hand.

[horizonspurple]

I need advice from a fellow sub… and your blog is the first one that came tho mind. Absolutely okay if you don’t feel comfortable. You can just ignore me! It’s okay!

How…do I know a Dominant partner is good for me? What are some signs of a partner being a healthy choice? Like what are some things a “green flag/good”Daddy/Dom does..? Or what should we look out for. I just don’t know. I’m afraid to mess up. I want to explore, but I’m afraid to get hurt. Or to find the wrong people.

Heyy!

I think this is a very good question and I will try to answer it to the best of my ability <3

When I first stepped into the world of kink I also was struggling a lot with what to look for in a healthy Dom/partner It can be super overwhelming and there are a lot of unsafe people out there, so it's good to be aware and protect yourself and your space

How do I know if someone is good for me? To know if someone is good for you, it is first important to know what qualities or things you think are important for someone to have and what things or qualities are dealbreakers For example, I really value people who don't mind taking things slow Because this is important to me, I make sure to look for that in people who I might want as a partner/Dom Another one is that I really dislike it when people smoke, so someone who smokes would be a dealbreaker for me These are very basic things, but they are important to think about and be mindful of when you look for a Dom/sub/partner/whatever it is you are looking for If there are things or qualities you find super important, it's likely that the match will be better if someone has those things

Another one is to ask yourself: 'What do I want/need in this relationship or dynamic and what are limits or boundaries?' These are very personal, but very important If for example, you are looking strictly for a 24/7 dynamic, it is important that the person you are looking for has a similar wish Ofcourse there is always room for talk and negotiation, but if there are things you specifically need or absolutely do not want, then you need to be aware of those and communicate about them

Green flags

having a normal conversation first, about vanilla interests, hobbies, who you are as a person

when they specifically ask about boundaries or limits that you have, and more importantly, when they don't try to push or negotiate on those (EVERYONE HAS LIMITS!!!)

when they are willing to explain what certain things mean for them or to them, for example 'what does being a Daddy mean for them?'

when they are aware of their own boundaries and limits and communicate about those clearly

they discuss safewords before doing any type of play, even if it's online play

they will respect your privacy and won't ask for pictures or a meetup right away

Red flags

they demand you call them a title (Sir, Daddy etc.) straight away, titles are earned not demanded

they are only interested in sex or kink talks

they send you sexual scenario's or fantasies without you telling them you want that

they don't talk about limits

they don't ask a lot of question and do not try to understand you

they say one thing but then do something else, or don't keep their word in some way

This is all I can think of right now, but just in case I'm tagging @lord-of-dice-and-kinks because I'm sure he has some other useful advice to add :)

I hope this helps, it's a lot of text but for sure important to be aware of Kink and dynamics can be super fun and safe with the right person, but it can be a tricky and dangerous road to get there Be mindful and take care of yourself, and trust your gut feelings If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't right <3

[bumblegem]

its rlly hard pulling my kid entirely from talia bc so much of how they developed as characters came from them being in talia-verse and interacting with other talia characters yknow?? and like. ultimately. part of me misses them being part of it, bc nation-verse is a lot of fun to play with! i like my kids as ocs! i still consider them mine! like 100%!! and im gonna keep tagging them that way bc, not to be That Guy, but i dont want... i dont want the Other Talia group getting their hands on them again, that was. awful awful awful. 

but like my friends? people who know their character and dont expect them to fall into the Other Talia tropes and headcanons? fuck yeah, go for it, you can still refer to my kids as americas and treat them as such for whatever purposes. and i think i really only came to this realization bc of the dnd group-- and its a good thing! i can let myself still enjoy nation-verse without feeling like im giving up my kids. especially if i just let myself enjoy it with the people i already really only shared it with

and its absolutely a trust thing, like. thats why im going to continue tagging art of them as my ocs, bc im so tired. so tired of 90% of what i dealt with on those ask blogs. but like!!! god i loved interacting with ez and kari so early on and those nation-verse interactions were so good! and they formed so much of what amelia is today and i dont want to give that up. and i dont have to give up everything i built for them to be ocs either, i can keep that and i think it helped form a clearer image of what i’d see amelia doing in human au’s like the family and superpower ones

so like, tl;dr: if you’re my friend, you can still refer to amelia and al as talia characters bc i know ya’ll arent gonna let me down bc ya’ll never have before and i love you and deeply cherish how you’ve helped my characters grow

[idreamofplaid]

All That Remains

Summary: Dean has more than one secret that he’s keeping from the reader, but he’s ready to tell the truth.

Characters: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2296

Warnings: non con (discussed not depicted)

A/N: This is a one of my earliest fics that I first posted on another blog.

Dean has nightmares. He's had them his whole life. You know it, and Sam knows it. Tonight's nightmare was particularly bad. You were ripped from your sleep by the sound of Dean yelling down the hall. 

Instinct took over; you jumped out of bed and started running toward Dean's room. You had to get to him. Dean was your best friend; he needed you.

You met Sam, who was running from the other direction, outside Dean's door. You looked at each other briefly. Dean's voice was coming clearly through the door. "No. I won't do it! Get away!" You looked at the door, swallowed, and looked back at Sam. "Let me." He barely hesitated before he nodded, backed away a couple of steps, then turned and went back to his room.

You opened the door slowly. It was dark in the room, too dark for you to see Dean until your eyes adjusted to the darkness. As you got closer to the bed you saw the death grip his hand had on the covers and the pained expression on his face. He kept saying "no,” and you made a decision. You pulled back the covers on the other side of the bed and climbed in next to him.

"Dean, Dean." You called his name softly and then more loudly. Your hand reached out to touch his shoulder as you continued to call his name. He awoke with a start and sat up in bed breathing fast and hard. You moved behind him and put a hand on his back to settle him. "Dean?"

He turned and looked at you with wide eyes. Recognition dawned on his face. He knew it was you, and he reached for you. "Y/N." You took his large muscular frame in your arms and held him tightly to you. Dean could handle himself in any situation. He had faced every kind of monster there was and won, but now alone in the dark with you he was vulnerable.

You eased him back against the pillows with you. "Come on, Dean. It's okay." You tucked him up against you, laying his head on your shoulder and continued to whisper to him as you ran your fingers soothingly through his short, soft hair. He had a handful of your nightshirt in his hand. "Stay, Y/N. Don't leave me. Please."

"I will. I'm here. After a while, his breathing evened out slow and steady; he was sleeping. You kissed the top of his head. It wouldn't be easy for you, holding him like this, considering you had been in love with him since you were sixteen.

The next night at bedtime, you showed up in Dean's room. "Y/N, what are you....”

"I'm making sure you sleep at night; I'm being here for you. That's what best friends do. So, make room for me, Dean, I'm staying." That’s how you started sleeping in the same bed with Dean every night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For three months you had been sharing a bed with Dean, and it was very comfortable, except for the times it wasn't. Those were the times you caught yourself staring at his lips while he was sleeping, or the mornings you could feel his erection poking into your leg or your back. You dealt with your feelings because your presence helped him sleep, made him feel safe somehow.

It was bound to happen eventually; the next bad nightmare came. The two of you had fallen asleep facing each other with your legs entwined, and Dean was holding your hands. You woke up with him squeezing your hands tightly and screaming "No!" again. You squeezed his hands back and started calling his name.

His eyes popped open, and when he saw you; they filled with tears. He pulled one of his hands from yours and quickly tried to brush the tears away. You gently pulled his hand away from his eyes as you spoke softly to him. "Cry, Dean. Just cry. Let it all out." You held him while the tears flowed. Finally, when he was all cried out, he said in the quietest voice you’d ever heard him use. "I'd never hurt you."

You kissed his still wet cheek."I know, Dean. I know you wouldn't."

He looked at you with haunted eyes. "You're the last person I'd hurt, Y/N.". 

You held his cheek in your hand. "Dean, are you ready to tell me what you've been dreaming about? Is it Purgatory? Are you reliving having the mark again?"

He shook his head, looked into your eyes, and then all the way down your face before running one of his hands through your hair. His voice caught as he said, “I've been dreaming about hell. Being in that secret prison made me think about it again. A lot."

Your heart tightened in your chest. The weeks Dean had been locked up had been horrible. You hadn’t been able to eat, sleep, or concentrate on anything. Worry had consumed you, but he was here now. Now, you could comfort him. "Dean, I'm sorry. It must have been so awful being trapped in that place."

He sat up and ran his hand down his face."Don't be sorry for me; you don't know what I did." He was crying again. 

You were by his side in an instant, close to him so he could feel your presence. "Dean, you can tell me. You can tell me anything. You know you can.”

“You told me about the first time you got drunk, and it made you sick. You told me about taking the Impala without asking your dad as soon as you got your driver’s license and getting arrested because he’d reported it stolen.”

It hurt to say this next one, but it proved your point. “You told me when you lost your virginity." 

Dean laughed a humorless laugh and said almost to himself, "Yeah, that should have been you."

It was quiet, but you heard it. In a whisper you asked, "Dean, what did you say?"

"I said you should have been my first; then maybe I wouldn't have spent my life chasing women, comparing every single one of them to you. Maybe I wouldn't have spent my life drinking and being reckless because I didn't have the one thing I wanted.  If I had done things different, things might have turned out different. Maybe I wouldn't have gone to hell at all.”  

"Oh, Dean." You put your hand on the side of his face. He put one of his over it and pulled it down to his lap holding it there just looking at your palm. "I did horrible things in hell,Y/N." His jaw clenched. "I did horrible things to you." He looked at you with tears in his eyes threatening to spill again.  

"Alistair knew how to break me, Y/N. When nothing else worked, he used you. He threatened to do everything he had done to me to you while I watched. He told me the only way to stop him was for me to r...rape you. And...I did. I did, Y/N. I did it." He was crying freely now and could hardly get his words out.

"You begged me to stop. You begged, and you cried. I hurt you, Y/N. I hurt you while that sadistic son of a bitch watched. He knew it would break me because I loved you. I couldn't do it anymore, and I damn sure wasn't going to let him touch you."

You closed your hand over his and held it tightly. "That wasn't me, Dean. You didn't hurt me. Alistair just made it seem like it was me to torture you."  

He was shaking now. “It was your voice, your body, your tears, your blood. Your blood was on me. How could I do that? I love you."

That was the second time he'd said it. Your emotions were whirling, your heart was fluttering, while at the same time Dean was in so much pain you had to do something.  You took his face in your hands.

 "Look at me, Dean. You were in hell. You were trying to protect me from something worse. You have never hurt me; you won’t ever hurt me. I know that. I trust you." You leaned in and kissed him, slowly, gently, and deliberately. 

You were moving your tongue slowly around his and sending a message. "It's time to make a different memory, Dean." You lifted his t-shirt over his head.

Dean brushed his thumb over your cheek; sadness still filled his eyes. "I can't let you do this, Y/N, not like this. I won't let you have sex with me to make me feel better.”

"That's not why I'm doing it, Dean. I'm doing it because I love you too.” His hand stilled on your face, and his eyes connected to yours. 

You held his gaze. “It's time to replace all that pain with the truth. Kiss me, Dean."

His kiss was gentle and passionate; his lips met yours with wonder and certainty. Then Dean kissed along your chin, moving toward your neck. You turned your head to give him better access. He reached down to the hem of your nightshirt, pulling it up over your head and leaving you only in your panties.  

Dean kissed your shoulders and your breasts. He swirled his tongue around each nipple, sucking them until they were tight, and you were aching between your legs. He kissed his way down your stomach until he reached the waistband of your panties, then he raised up to look at you.  

You looked into his eyes. There was hardly any green left in them at all; they were blown with desire. You nodded and said "yes,”  but only the slightest ghost of a whisper came out. He took his sleep pants off first, then your panties. 

You had imagined his body a million times and never done it justice.  His shoulders were broad; his abs were just right. They were visible without being too much. His cock was already hardening, and it was big. You wanted it inside you; you wanted to feel that stretch. 

Dean lowered himself back down over you so he could kiss you as he tested your opening with one of his fingers. He gingerly pushed in his index finger to the first knuckle. You were already squirming beneath him. He felt your wetness and pushed his finger the rest of the way in. "Yes, yes, yes." You kept saying it; you wouldn't let him doubt how much you wanted him and just how okay this was.

He added another finger slowly pumping them in and out. You were arching your hips up to meet his fingers at this point. "More, Dean. I need to feel you. I've waited so long for you. Please." He pulled his fingers out and lined his cock up with your entrance.  Slowly, he pushed just the tip inside you, and you gasped.

Dean froze. "Y/N, are you okay?"

"I'm good. It’s okay. More than that. Show me you love me, Dean. Show me." He pushed halfway into you, then stopped so you could get used to the feel of him. He wasn't moving, but just feeling him inside you was all it took. Your walls were clenching around him, and your legs were shaking.  

Your mind had one thought running through it. "Dean. This is Dean. It's Dean." And you came with him part way inside you and not thrusting at all. He kissed you through your orgasm, still hard inside you.

"I do love you, Y/N." He pushed into you a little more. Inch by slow, controlled inch he buried himself all the way inside you. It occurred to you then what he was doing. He was treating you like you were a virgin, and you were tonight. You were his virgin. He wanted to make you forget too, forget there had ever been anyone but him.  

Finally, he started to move inside you, and you rolled your hips against him. His thrusts became deeper and eventually more erratic. He was close. "Let go, Dean. Come for me. Give all of you to me." You felt the hot spurt of his release inside you, and you were tightening around him, coming again yourself which prolonged his orgasm.  

Dean collapsed on top of you and rolled off to the side. You turned toward him and put your head on his chest. He wrapped both of his arms around you. Your lips trailed a line of kisses across his chest. His first words surprised you. "Was that okay?" You traced figure eights on his stomach.  

You lay your hand in the center of his chest over his heart. "Dean, it was incredible. There's nothing hidden between us now. I gave myself to you. Willingly. Wanting you, needing you, loving you. Couldn't you feel that?"

He was playing with your hair. "Yeah, I felt it. I just can't believe it. I can't believe you'd want me, that you'd... love me. You make me feel like there's good in me even after... everything."

You lifted your head to look at him. "Because there is, Dean. So many people, and non-people, have tried to make you believe that isn't true, and you believed it. I'm here to remind you all that is a lie. Right now, what we're feeling between us is the truth. Love is the truth. All those horrible memories will fade away. When they do, you'll still have my love; I'll have yours.”

 He kissed you, accepting your words. After that you never left Dean's bed, and he never dreamed about hurting you in hell again.

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @terrarium-jpeg​ @emoryhemsworth​ @crashdevlin​ @jules-1999​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @sammyimpala-67​ @queenoftheunderdark​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @timelordy-fangirl2​ @sweetness47​ @hobby27​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @becs-bunker​ @sandlee44​ @supernaturalgrandma​ @dawnie1988​ @volleyballer519​ @kdfrqqg​ @lizette50​ @daisymoder72​ @sorenmarie87​ @lovealways-j​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @spnbaby-67​ @wayward-and-worn​

Dean/Jensen: @deansyahtzee​ @flamencodiva​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @focusonspn​ @akshi8278​ @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @ellewritesfix05​ @weepingwillowphoenix​

[heartlesslywhumping]

alright, i’m not sure if you’re the right person to ask about this, but i want to know if you have advice.

i’m a minor who’s an active member of the whump community, and i enjoy reading noncon. i don’t actually like or reblog any of the nsfw posts i consume because i’m very much aware of the repercussions that could bring. i don’t produce or write nsfw myself at all. but even when those kinds of writing pieces tell minors to keep out, a lot of the time, i still read them. i’m really not sure what to do. is it wrong of me to consume that kind of whump? should i stop? apologies if you’re uncomfortable with this, feel free to abstain from answering!

Hi! It’s totally fine to ask me these kinds of questions! Info under the cut for those who don’t want to read about this stuff.

Now all of this  is my personal opinion and I welcome people to disagree with me and/or offer their own opinions. These are simply mine.

I don’t think it’s wrong for you to read noncon stuff so long as you know where the lines are.

It’s important that you are able to separate fiction from reality, know that what’s happening in the story is not at all permissible in real life, and be aware of your own comfort level/potential triggers. If you’re aware of all those things, then I don’t think there’s a problem.

(Also, I’m not going to pretend that teenagers - who are minors - aren’t having sex. If you are, it’s important to know that noncon content isn’t something that’s okay for your partner to do but you CAN and SHOULD have open discussions with your partner if you encounter certain things you’d like to explore. This isn’t that kind of blog so I’m just going to say: be honest and open with your partner, set up boundaries and stick to them religiously, and safe words are good things.)

I got into noncon stuff when I was underage too. I know a lot of people read smut before they’re 18 and in a way, both smut and noncon are similar when it comes to access on the internet.

Now I’m going to explain a common reason writers ask minors not to read or interact with their work. My hope is that a better understanding of that will help you to understand where you fit in.

Much like the real world, these kinds of things come down to consent.  

Warnings and tags are ways to state what’s happening in a piece of media (art, writing, etc) and allow the consumer to make informed choices. If you see those tags/warnings and choose to proceed anyways then you are consenting to consume that piece of media. In this case, you are consenting to read those kinds of stories. It’s why many writers online are irked by people asking them not to write about certain topics. When you choose to follow them, you are consenting to be exposed to certain things.  

Now this is where things get tricky because minors can’t give consent. But this is a piece of writing, not something in real life or something physical. So in this situation “consent” is more of the dictionary use and less of the modern use. It’s giving permission. Essentially a reader is telling the website “Yes. I give you permission to show me this.” Now, in this context, permission comes down to understanding.

Writers can’t control what level of education a reader has or what their comfort level is, we can only do our best with tags and warnings. Most writers warn minors away so that those with less education/understanding of certain topics stay away.

If you’re say, 16, then you’re a minor but you also have a level of education/understanding regarding mature topics. That’s very different from someone who’s say, 10, encountering those topics. ESPECIALLY regarding noncon.

Now I don’t know how old you are (and you shouldn’t disclose that information online nor am I asking you to) but I’m assuming you have a level of education/understanding where you’re not going to be confused or traumatized by consuming that kind of writing.

No one can truly police the internet so it’s up to you (and anyone on the internet) to take care of themselves.

For you personally, I think that if you know what you’re getting into, then it’s fine to read that stuff. Just be aware of your comfort level. It’s 100% okay to close out a story or step away. That’s WHY there are trigger warnings and tags.

What I’ve found is that most writers that warn minors away are just trying to keep children safe. There are a lot of little kids on the internet. I knew people who were on Instagram and Pinterest when they were 10 years old and had simply lied about their age. Now Instagram/Pinterest are a little different than say, Tumblr/DevianArt. You’re far more likely to run into mature content on tumblr, devianart, fanfiction sites, etc. Still, there are younger kids accessing sites more likely to host mature content. So creators stick up a bunch of flashing red signs telling minors to stay away because YOU WILL NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SEE. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. No one wants a ten year old accessing their mature content.

For writers that tag “minors don’t interact”, it’s much the same. Everyone is trying their best not to traumatize ten year olds. For group chats/discords that ask minors not to interact, it’s often because adults are uncomfortable discussing mature content with minors. Even if that minor is 16/17 and well aware of mature content. It also can be dangerous to discuss these things with minors as you don’t know their age online (and again, no minor should disclose their age online) and no adult should be discussing these kinds of things with kids unless they’re a parent, teacher, counselor, etc.

My advice to you (and anyone in the whump community) is to mind the tags. Block tags you don’t want to see and consider everything to be exactly what it says it is. For example, I don’t like eye horror. If something is tagged with eye horror, I don’t read any further than that. Could it be something I could handle or skip over? Potentially. But I don’t want to take that risk.

Do you know the tag on Ao3 “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat?”. If not, it boils down to “this is exactly what it says on the label. I’m not kidding. Mind these tags. I’m not playing around here. What you see is what you get”. Treat everything as though it’s Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

If you don’t know what something is, Google is your friend.

In all, no one can stop you from reading their work and usually, they’re just trying to protect you. You’ve already accessed this stuff so you have at least a base level awareness of what you’re getting into. Help writers protect you by knowing your own boundaries and minding the tags.

Be aware, be responsible, and don’t try to engage in mature discussions online until you’re 18.

As long as you’re comfortable, you’re fine reading this stuff.

I hope that helped! Feel free to reach out again if you have more questions/concerns!

[keenmarvellover]

POSTS FOR YOU - 1

Some links to posts with valuable content you want in one place.(BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS THERE)

Suggestions and Recommendations are appreciated and accepted.

Last Updated : 16/10/2020

NOTE: Some of these post are written in a crude and unruly fashion. But they contain valuable tips, guidance and information. If you can't/don't want to read such posts, then don't read.

Mental Health

Do you need a Hug?

Maybe you’re having a stressful day. Maybe you just need a deep breath. Maybe you just didn’t realize how stressed you are. You can get your comfort here.

Some stuff to help you sleep

This is definitely not a google drive full of the sleep stuff from the Headspace app, including sleepcasts, music, and wind down meditation, that normally costs 17.99 a month, no siree and you definitely shouldnt share this with people

Anti-Anxiety Tools

Some tools to help you before, during or after an anxiety attack

100 Reasons NOT To Kill Yourself

READ IT. SHARE IT. REBLOG IT. Save a Life.

HOBBIES MASTERPOST!!!!!!!!

A really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. Find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.

Health

Some very Important Lists for Rating PAIN, FATIQUE AND MENTAL HEALTH

It is MUST share

PSA Rregarding Hospital bills

Also how to pay hospital bills when you are broke.

How to differentiate between COVID-19, FLU AND COMMON COLD

Anyway, as we enter cold & flu season in the YEAR of corona, this will come in very handy.

Treatment for HIV

VERY IMPORTANT. Please Read and Share.

What does the Color of your Period mean?

A must read for individuals who get periods.

How to differentiate between Period Cramps and Appendicitis

A MUST READ

From a Person who is Hard of Hearing

Types and levels of deafness

General Tips for Vagina Health

Some stuff they don't teach in sex-ed.

Undo the damage of Sitting

Are you always sitting down? Then these are some exercise you should probably try out for better health.

Guide to Proper Bra Fitting

Guide to Proper Bra Fit and Measuring. Please Read and Share.

Washable, Reusable Menstrual Pads

(Part II)

Reusable menstrual hygiene product, and are an alternative to disposable sanitary napkins or to menstrual cups.

Artists

Art Masterpost

How to draw *insert whatever you want, its there in the list*?

Book Binding

Some video links to different types of DIY Bookbinding

For Artists who Need Photoshop

If youre an artist who cant afford photoshop, definitely DO NOT go to this google drive to pirate the program, that would be so bad!!!

Do’s and Don'ts of Designing for Accessibility

Please consider this when designing for ANYTHING. For BUSINESSES and ARTISTS.

Writers

Color Synonyms

For both ARTISTS and WRITERS

How to make a Masterlist

Simple but efficient instructions to make a masterlist

ULTIMATE NOVEL WRITING RESOURCE MASTERLIST

This is an ultimate masterlist of many resources that could be helpful for writers.

List of AUs and Ship Tropes

For when you run out of ideas.

AUs

Ship Tropes

Legal sites to get some much needed Info

If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

Resources for Describing Characters

For writing about physical appearances, character traits, talents,and skills and other related stuff of your characters, here is a comprehensive list.

Resources for Describing Emotions

Having trouble writing jealousy, happiness, motivation. Here you go!!

Some Resources for your Writing

Body Language

Reverse Dictionary

Character Traits

Things to Keep in mind when naming Characters

Valuable advice. Trust me

Words to Use when Writing Smut/Romance

This is for smut/romance writers. Kinda like a thesaurus.

Tips to write Pain

How are you supposed to write about pain you’ve never experienced before?

References for Greek Mythology Characters

Link to an extensive site every single detail of Greek Mythology from Gods to Family Trees.

Tips to write Blind Characters

Some tips that might be invaluable when writing character that are near-blind or blind

Things to Remember when writing a Highly Emotional Scene

Just small things that could make a great difference

How to write with Multiple POVs

Tips on how to write multiple POVs with diverse characters

Synonyms and Antonyms

The person who made this list is a blessing to writers. Just saying.

Good Qualities for Female Characters

Females don't always need to be protected and be weak. Make them more realistic.

Words to Use instead of ‘Said’

Every single situation is listed. Check it out.

Limits of the Human Body

All extremities listed

Readers

Legal Sites to Download Literature

From children’s books to rare books, from philosophy and religion to nonfiction. I guess you can find anything here.

The Rights of the Reader

And some (lots of) bashing of Helicopter Parents.(You want to read only the rights. Here it is)

Wet Book Rescue : Steps to save a Wet Book

Valuable information if some of your prized books were affected by recent flooding. The video even shows you what to do if you can’t dry the book out right away.

Cheatsheet to Navigate AO3

Makes your time on AO3 a little more easier and interesting

How to trick Writers into giving you More Fanfic to read

Works for Comics and Art as well.

Get a Book Suggestion

This book website gives you the first page of a random book without the title or author so that you can read it with no preconceptions

Books written by POC Writers

Only POC authors included in the list.

Students

Basic ASL (American Sign Language) Movements

ASL Hand Movements for beginners.

Tips for studying with ADHD/a>

Made by a person with ADHD themself.

Resources to Learn New Languages

Ten fairly useful general language resources

How to properly take notes

It helps. It really helps.

FREE ONLINE LANGUAGE COURSES

Here is a masterpost of MOOCs (massive open online courses) that are available, archived, or starting soon. I think they will help those that like to learn with a teacher or with videos.

A Thread of Tips

A thread of tips to help High School and College students academically

LEARN THINGS FOR FREE

FREE ONLINE COURSES (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)

Google like a BOSS

Some life hacks which make student's lives easier.

625 words to know in your Target Language

If your learning a new language, these words will help you build a strong foundation.(Some tips and sites are include too)

Miscellaneous/Life Hacks

How to add music to your Blog

How to add your very own, custom homemade playlist to your blog?

How to Walk with Purpose?

Some tips on how to hold yourself in public and why.

Cheatsheet for Laundry Rooms

Saves a lot of money in the Laundry Room

How to Gird up your Loins?

A lesson in how to gird your loins.

How to Disappear Online

Please read and spread for the sake of abuse victims or stalker victims.

What to do during a Nuclear Attack

I hope you never have to use it but here are some guidelines to follow in the event of a nuclear attack

How to pull an All-Nighter.

A to-do list

Write a Thank You letter after your Interview

It leaves a good impression on your interviewer and increase your chances of passing the interview.

Laundry Tags: Meanings

A life hack that you’ll definitely need at some point.

Where to find free Movies and Series Online

Lots of sites. Lots and Lots of sites. I am not Kidding. Now go and chill without netflix. (Part II)

How to get a Refund?

Get your stuff or a refund.

HOW TO DO EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH

This starts at the most absolute basics of gardening and planting, provides definitions, and hopefully is easily understandable. This is a MUST-READ. (Farming)

Discuss your wages

It’s your right to share your salary, not doing so could be holding you back.

Youtube Tutorials for Basically EVERYTHING

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult.

Safety

Emergency Evacuation - Items to Gather

A text list of suggested items to acquire in the event of an emergency.

If someone you know is in an abusive relationship

AN ABBREVIATED GUIDE TO ‘Holy shit!!! My friend is in an abusive relationship what do I do’ and what not to do.

Defense Tips for Women

Defense and Safety tips a woman MUST know. (Part II)

An app that informs your Emergency contacts if you are inactive in a set period of time.(Could prevent rape attempts if used correctly)

If a Man gets Physical

How to check if a mirror is one way or two-way

If you are trapped in a smoke-filled apartment: What to Do

How to get out of Hand-binds

How to get out of the bunker of a Car

How to track Anonymous asks.

How to pick a Lock

Traits and Warning signs of an Abuser

What to do if a bigot pulls your Hijab (from behind)

What to do if someone pulls of a Muslim Woman's Hijab? (To do List for both Men and Women)

[zirkkun]

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

[searchingwardrobes]

First of all, I know it seems like I have abandoned my fanfic writing, but I promise you, that isn’t true. I was actually working on I Promise to Kiss You the other night, and I am SO close to posting that final chapter! BUT, I must confess that Josiah and Kate from my book The One Who Sees Me have just been invading my muse. Tuesday night, this story just poured out of me.

I talked about this on my Facebook Live, but one part of Josiah’s personality that was really important to me was that he is safe. A man being safe is almost a bad word in rom-coms and romance novels, but it shouldn’t be. Men should absolutely be safe. Women should feel safe in their arms, safe sharing their hearts, safe enough to completely be themselves. So here is a story told from Josiah’s point of view in which he ponders how important it is to him that his wife feel safe. Oh, and some fluffy marital bliss and domesticity.

Rated: M for a married couple being open and free about sex, I guess, just to be safe, but it’s only discussed, not portrayed

Words: 1,300 and some change

Oh, and you can get a copy of The One Who Sees Me here , if you’re interested.

Tagging some who might be interested or at least humor me when it comes to my babies from Lightport : @snowbellewells​​​​​​ @teamhook​​​​​​ @xhookswenchx​​​​​​ @kmomof4​​​​​​ @hookedonapirate​​​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​​​​ @reynoldsreads​​​​​​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​​​​​ @welllpthisishappening​​​​​​ @wellhellotragic​​​​​​ @optomisticgirl​​​​​​ @spartanguard​​​​​​ @ekr032-blog-blog​​​​​​ @jrob64​​​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​​​​ @superchocovian​​​​​​ @bethacaciakay​​​​​​ @distant-rose​ @klynn-stormz​​​​​ @carpedzem​​​​​ @cheerynoir​

Josiah Barrett was distracted. Not because he didn’t want to hear his wife tell him about her day. On the contrary, he looked forward to reconnecting over dinner. Or reconnecting as much as a one year old flinging peas on the floor allowed. He honestly didn’t understand men who complained about their wives always wanting to talk. There was no one he enjoyed having a conversation with more than Kate. It had always been that way.

No, he was distracted because his head was full of plans for Valentine’s Day. A few months ago, he and Kate had purchased a “rekindle the romance kit” recommended in a couple’s devotional they were reading together. Not that he felt in the least that the spark was gone. Kate turned him on just walking into the room at times. It was just that ever since Haley was born, they found they had to be more intentional when it came to their relationship. Hence scheduled date nights, the couple’s devotional . . .

And the romance “kit.”

The rule of the kit was simple - open an envelope and follow the instructions to create a romantic moment with your spouse. No excuses, no skipping cards, no matter how awkward it made you feel. The pink cards were for the husband to do for his wife while the red cards were for the wife to do for her husband. They usually took turns planning their dates using the cards, but for Valentine’s Day, they had both opened one. That’s what had Josiah so distracted.

He couldn’t stop mulling over his plans for the next evening. While he and Kate shared dinner at a restaurant, his brother was going to decorate their car like he had on their wedding day. Only, instead of “just married,” Micah was going to write “happily married.” On the way home, Josiah was going to take a detour to Founder’s Park, where he had proposed all those years ago and dance with Kate just like he had then to “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias - their song.

Kate was going to love it, and he was giddy with excitement.

A loud, clattering sound startled him out of his reverie. Haley squealed loudly and slapped the tray of her high chair. Josiah laughed.

“She threw her sippy cup. Again.”

He glanced at Kate as he bent to retrieve the cup. She was staring nervously at her plate, pushing peas around with her fork.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I haven’t been listening, have I?”

She gave him a wane smile. “It’s not that. I know teething isn’t exactly a riveting topic.”

Haley took the cup from his hand and started sucking down the water inside. Good - maybe they had a minute or two reprieve from the cup throwing game.

“What is it then?”

Kate bit her lip and blinked as if holding back tears. After a long pause, she blurted out, “I can’t do it!”

He frowned with concern. “Do what?”

She dropped her fork with a clatter and pressed both hands to her face. “The card,” she mumbled behind her fingers, “for Valentine’s Day.”

He said nothing, trying to process her words. Haley fussed, and on auto-pilot, he sprinkled some snack puffs onto the high chair tray to distract her.

Kate ran her hands through her hair as she looked up at him. “I know it says not to skip cards, but I can’t, Josiah. I just can’t.”

Now he was alarmed. He was always careful to be a patient and tender lover with Kate, knowing she had been victimized in her young, innocent years. The cards for wives were always sexual in nature, but it was a Christian product, so nothing had been inappropriate. So far, anyway. Kate had been emboldened by the cards to get past her shyness: dancing for him, initiating sex, making love in unique places around the house, but none of it ever seemed to upset her. She would blush and giggle, and he would assure her that he found her incredibly sexy, but he had never seen her afraid.

Was she afraid? That was one thing he never, ever wanted her to feel with him.

He realized he had been quiet for too long when she started speaking again in a hurried, nervous tone. “It just grosses me out. I mean, the thought of doing it makes me physically repulsed. Can I please pick another card? Or just do my own thing?”

Good Lord above, what was on this card?

“What does it want you to do?” he whispered, then he inwardly berated himself.

It shouldn’t matter, you idiot! She clearly doesn’t feel comfortable doing it!

“It wants me to let you . . . “ she hesitated for a beat, then blurted out, “eat fruit off my

body!”

At first, he was rendered speechless. That had not been what he had expected. Well, he wasn’t really sure what he’d expected, but it certainly wasn’t fruit.

“It’s just so . . . sticky,” she added, wrinkling her nose in an adorable way.

Then he couldn’t help it - he burst out laughing. Haley startled, dropped her cup again, then joined her Daddy with gleeful belly laughs despite having no clue what was so funny. At first Kate gaped at him, which only made him laugh more. Soon, she was chuckling too. They laughed and laughed until tears rolled down their cheeks and they could scarcely breathe.

“Fruit?” he finally gasped. “You had me so worried, and then it’s all about fruit?”

“Don’t laugh,” she giggled. She rolled her eyes at him and tossed a wadded up napkin at his head. “You know how I feel about food fights.”

He did. Every time they saw one on TV or in a movie, it grossed her out. The thought of ketchup in her hair or mashed potatoes down her shirt made her shiver with revulsion. “You know somebody has to clean that up,” she would always say.

“Come here,” he told her, opening up his arms. She blushed sheepishly as she rose from her chair and rounded the kitchen table. She curled up on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Kate,” he told her, brushing her hair off her forehead and tucking it behind her ear, “all I need is you to be perfectly satisfied. If anything - anything at all - makes you feel uncomfortable, please tell me. I never want you to feel that way when we’re intimate, even if it’s just something like sticky fruit.”

She smiled down at him, cupping his jaw with one hand, a picture of perfect contentment. Just as he longed for her to feel with him.

“I love you,” she lowered her lips to his and kissed him thoroughly, running her fingers through his hair.

“I love you too,” he replied huskily when she finally pulled away.

“My alternate plan is to feed you chocolate covered strawberries.”

“I like that plan.”

She kissed him again, but then they were interrupted by Haley’s squeals. The sight of their daughter had them both laughing again.

“Sweetheart,” Josiah told his wife, “I don’t think our daughter shares your opinion on food fights.”

Their one year old had mashed up her peas and then rubbed it into her hair. With a half chuckle, half groan, Kate got off Josiah’s lap and went to unbuckle their daughter from her high chair.

“Which would you rather clean?” he asked his wife. “The chair or the baby?”

“The baby, definitely.”

He watched his wife, her strawberry blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head, no makeup, clad in yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt. She balanced their daughter on her hip as she wiped tiny hands and cheeks with a baby wipe. Her smile was bright and her eyes sparkled as she spoke lovingly to their child. Despite the messy peas still in the tiny girl’s fine hair, Kate pressed a sloppy kiss to the baby’s freshly wiped, chubby cheek, making Haley giggle. Josiah’s heart swelled with love for this woman: his best friend, his wife, the mother of his child. He stepped forward and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

“What was that for?” she asked him.

“Like I said, I just need you.”

[lokis-omnistrose]

For My First Trick....er... Post!

I thought I would give a little info about me. Heads-up: If you dislike any of this, you can either put up with it or kindly find the door, because while I will happily entertain intelligent debate/ discussion, telling me I'm wrong for my beliefs (note I said "beliefs". Telling me I'm wrong because I'm misinformed and actively have my *facts* wrong is welcome and encouraged. See below for more) is bigoted, rude, and toxic and will not be entertained. Yes, I sound like a B**** for that, but hey, gotta be honest off the bat, right?

If you're interested in learning more about me...

- I'm Omnist, raised Roman Catholic. What does that mean? Well, it means I'm royally effed up lol. Really, though, it means I was raised in the RC tradition, so have a lot of RC beliefs ingrained in me. However, due to past traumas, you could say I 'lost my faith'. I started believing that I was being punished for something, then realised I had done nothing to be punished for, so wondered why I was being treated the way I was. I drifted away from RC, and gradually found Athena and Artemis and comfort. Over the years, I also discovered the Morrigan, along with multiple others, and found that I believed in multiple pantheons - aka Omnist (not devoted to a specific religion, but religious to a degree).

In recent months, I've started to find that more and more things have been guiding me toward Loki, and have accepted him as my chief male god (until recently, I only followed female gods, mainly a coincidence, but slightly intentional), though strangely, Thor and Odin followed. So yeah, I'm kinda mixed up lol.

- I believe strongly in the number 3. Maybe because of my Catholic upbringing, I feel a strong bond with the number 3 and 'holy trinities'. Triple Goddesses have always meant a lot to me, and I find it no coincidence or surprise that when Loki found me, Thor and Odin followed. My avatar symbol is actually the Triskelion/ Triskele, or a version of the triskeles, which is often used as a representative symbol for triple deities. I became somewhat obsessed with it years ago when I had recently become hooked on symbology, and it's been important to me ever since.

- My 'spirit animals' are wolves and ravens, the latter being most prominent. I've always been drawn to wolves for some reason, but ravens are ever-present in my life in one way or another. If you see me anywhere online, there's a solid chance I either have ravens in my username, avatar or character (skin or accessory), or some version of the word (other language, derivative, etc).

- I change hobbies faster than most people change underpants. Any day you ask, there's a good chance I've either picked up or dropped a hobby. It can be anything, from something as relatively normal as painting to something as relatively unusual as studying grammatical similarities between languages (yes, that's a real one that comes and goes).

- However, the ones that stay are singing, writing, music in general, Marvel/ some DC (yes, I cross the divide, though DC characters just don't interest me as much as a whole, however there are a few I adore), gaming - though I can't actually play video games often because of issues with my hands, crafting, paganism (both as a study and as a practice, to a degree), human rights and their history, mythology, the paranormal, cooking/ food, and herbology.

- I'm Pansexual, but grey-ace. Basically, that means I can be attracted to anyone, regardless of gender, but sexual attraction isn't something I experience on a regular basis. I can go from 'I'mma jump him/ her/ them before long' to 'make me think about sex again and I will throw up' (no exaggeration there). As a result, relationships can be a minefield for me because I desperately want to give love to people, but my drive is about as unpredictable as lightning, so I'm always afraid I'm gonna disappoint whoever I'm with by not being 'enough'. I get the feeling that's likely a common feeling for people like me, so I seek to be open and share with people, because ours isn't a very commonly heard perspective.

- I do not accept bullying. Whether it be of me or of anyone on my blog, anyone I see being bullied online, or (if I feel I can safely step in) irl, I will put a stop to it, or at least try. I've been there, and I know how much it can mess you up for life if it's persistent, and I am not about to stand by and let someone be picked on. If you pick on someone in my comments, prepare to be blocked and/ or named and shamed, and if you send an abusive/ bullying ask, you will receive the same. If anonymous, I may highlight it to show what an immature blockhead you are, but I'm not going to stoop to being abusive. You will be taken down, but I will do so by pointing out every flaw in your ask, not by stooping to your level.

- I welcome everyone, as long as you're nice. Got a question? Go right ahead and ask! Got a suggestion! Lemme know! Wanna be friends? 100%! (though don't expect me to reliably message back and forth because my memory is so crap, I can't guarantee that. I've never had many friends and I'm very introverted, so friendship is not something i'm all that smart about lol).

- I read a crapton of fanfic. Literally most of my followed accounts are fanfic because they inspire me for my own. I don't mean that in the sense that I poach ideas, but more that they help me get back into the groove of wanting to write, and then ideas start moving again. I'll read about a character falling off a wall and suddenly a character I had lost my mojo for will go 'that's a dumb thing to do. Why didn't they just stand against the railing?' and I'll be back in the right mindset to write for them again about the flu I got halfway through writing and got stuck on.

- I write a crapton of fanfic that never gets posted. I literally have well over 100 stories in progress. Most are Marvel, BTS or The Walking Dead, but there are others, and I have more ideas in my head. I have posted some on another account on here (and hey, you may even know me from there, but shhhhh), but most of it is just idle writing that I write for the sake of it, with no real intention to ever post. I don't do it for an audience, but for something to do and to work out my past (and present) issues, so it's common for a story to have elements of abuse or the like which I don't often like to subject people to, so don't bother posting. Not to mention, they never get finished. I have a bit of an unintentional policy that I don't finish stories, because you never know when you'll have another idea for them. That's also why I have some stories with up to 5 different versions. I'll write one scene, but there'll be 5 different ways it could go, so I just write all 5 and go from there.

That's all I can think of for now, but this'll be added to as I think of more, so I'll post if I update this, so people know (if anyone's following). Bye for now, lovelies!

[coeurdastronaute]

Either/Or: Single 9

Previously on Single

Things were going well. Things were going outrageously well, and Lena didn’t know what to do about it. Sometimes, she didn’t even think about it, just kind of did it. As much as she wanted to overthink her way out of everything, it just didn’t happen, because Kara was easy, and Lena felt good, for the first time in such a long time. It was like waking up and realizing she hadn’t been aware of so many things. 

Most importantly, Lena was finding that she just fit well with Kara Danvers. She fit well enough to be comfortable, and she wasn’t sure that she’d ever been comfortable with another person, and as foreign as it was, Lena wasn’t running away, as she thought she might. Weirdly enough, she stuck around. 

“I’m sorry I’m late. I am so sorry. I got stuck on the phone. I’m so so sorry,” Lena chattered as she hurried to sit down at the table her girlfriend held. 

“Hey, take a breath,” Kara chuckled and waited until Lena actually took a breath. She smiled and waited. “I got your text. Don’t worry. It’s okay.” 

“I know, but I didn’t mean to be late.” 

“I’d hope not. I’m a great lunch companion.”��

“That’s true. My favorite.” 

Kara beamed, and Lena loved that smile. She loved the feeling of making Kara smile the most because she never imagined she was someone who was funny enough to make anyone, let alone Kara smile. 

“You look very pretty today,” Kara offered. “Even when you’re all frazzled.” 

“I’m never frazzled. I am a Luthor. We do not get frazzled.” 

“Tell that to the girl who just ran into Gio’s like her butt was on fire.” 

“You look beautiful, by the way.”

“There’s my girl.” 

Lunch dates were a fairly new invention to Lena who was used to dates late in the evening after work, usually with drinks, usually with sex after. That was the extent of the interactions she had in the dating world. But lunch dates were honestly the best. It meant Lena got out of the office, and it meant an hour of solid flirting and talking with Kara, uninterrupted by anything else. Sometimes, lunch dates were in one of their respective office, and sometimes it was in a new restaurant or an old favorite. Lena made sure to ask Kara at least once per week. She was doing her best to quantify being a girlfriend, and a great one. 

Most of the time they were successful in being uninterrupted. It was easy to do when even Jess was fond of letting Lena have those lunches. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I have to…” Kara trailed off as she looked at the number that appeared on her phone. 

“I’ll allow it, as the better girlfriend.” 

She rolled her eyes before picking up the call and excusing herself from the table to take it outside. Lena smiled into her glass and grabbed another slice of pizza from the shared tray between them. Even though she now had the moment to do it, Lena didn’t bother picking up her phone. 

“Can you take care of the check with this?” she smiled politely at the waitress and handed over her card. “And if you could, two orders of tiramisu, one for the table, and one to go.” 

“Of course, Ms. Luthor. How was everything?” 

“Gio is going to be responsible for my wardrobe not fitting.” 

“It’s worse working here. I have to work out twice as much.” 

“I can’t imagine. My girlfriend has the metabolism of a greyhound. I’ve never been more jealous.” 

“That’s a superpower I would want most of all. Eat all of the carbs and they didn’t count,” she chuckled and picked up a few plates and glasses. “I’ll be right back with that. And I’ll box up this up for you.” 

“Thanks.” 

It took a few more minutes, but Kara came back to the table, noticeably more sullen than when she walked outside. 

“That face doesn’t look like someone who has tiramisu on the way and another to take home for their afternoon snack.” 

“God, you’re the best,” the reporter sighed, though her mood didn’t improve. “That was a lead on my pollution story. I wasn’t sure I’d get the chance to interview a controller and purchaser for the state, but there was an opening through a friend of a friend. What?” 

“Nothing, you’re just… I like when you talk about work. Usually it’s me that does that. It’s refreshing. Tell me more.” 

The tiramisu was placed in front of them, and Kara picked up a fork immediately as she kept talking. 

“I’ve been waiting for a break, or at least a chance to ask some real questions. I mean, I’ve practically memorized the budget for waste management and funding for companies and their waste. But I haven’t been able to get anyone to go on record.”

“But you’ve found someone,” Lena reminded her, taking a bite of the shared dessert. She watched Kara watch her lips and gulp before going for more. 

“I, uh, yeah, I do. But I don’t have anyone to watch Katie. Alex is away on her anniversary trip, my mom is at a conference. And I can’t string together everyone else. It wouldn’t work.” 

“Ow long do you have to go for?” 

“Should just be like two days. I have to go the capitol. But I can fly back. You know. Like… fly, fly.” 

Things had been easy since Mon-El left. There was a peace that existed there, and Lena really didn’t mind spending time with Katie. It was easier to do when she knew everything, and even when she heard Kara’s stories of home and her mother. But somehow Kara’s ex made the couple feel closer together. Weirdly enough, it made Lena feel more comfortable to know that Kara was all in. 

“I’ll take her.” 

“Um, what?” Kara furrowed and debated before giving Lena the last bite. She was gunning for the best girlfriend slot again and that was the most selfless thing she could think of. 

“You didn’t ask me, but I can watch Katie.” 

“Well, yeah, but we’re going slow. And I didn’t-- I mean I wouldn’t--”

“It’ll be a good way to get to know her and I’m a responsible adult individual who can do that.” 

Across the table, Kara looked at her girlfriend and debated. Her daughter was a lot, and was even more for someone who didn’t have much experience. But Lena knew everything already and she was a capable adult individual. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes. I mean it. I am going to have to get good at kids… or at least one kid, and it’s this kid. So I should try. I mean, she’s indestructible, so who better to practice on.”

“That’s almost a good point,” Kara nodded and chuckled at Lena’s pragmatic explanation. “But are you sure you want to?” 

To her credit, Lena thought about it again, debating over her idea. And when she looked at Kara, she felt her heart grow and swell and her chest grew warm. It was a feeling she adored having, but she was afraid of getting used to it. If she fell in love with Kara, and if she couldn’t do the kid thing, then it would hurt. Better to find out sooner, rather than later. 

Plus, she was trying to be the best girlfriend, and Kara had given her the last bit of tiramisu. 

“I want to. I want you to be able to go do  your work stuff and not worry. You should be able to count on me.” 

“I do.” 

“Okay. Then it’s decided. I will be an expert babysitter and you will conquer the world.” 

“You’re amazing, did you know that?” 

“I did actually.” 

Kara smiled and let her girlfriend have it. Lena might not have known it, though Kara suspected she did, since her brain was always thinking things over-- but it was a big deal, and they knew what it meant. 

“So long as you knew,” Kara smiled. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Lena didn’t do anything without careful planning and extreme research. Babysitting was no different. For a few hours, she shirked work and looked up topical subjects to discuss with a five year old. She looked up all kinds of things, reading parenting blogs about how to handle things like tantrums and what foods were healthiest. Lena even learned basic life-saving techniques like the Heimlich and refreshed her CPR skills as best she could from a webpage. She had a wonderful pep talk and extensive list of instructions from her girlfriend. 

She was ready. Or as ready as anyone could hope to be. 

Somehow, in the grand scheme of things, Lena found herself standing outside of an elementary school, waiting for a child to appear.  

“Lena! I’m so ‘cited to see you!” Katie hopped down the steps and skipped toward her through the crowd of people. 

“Hey! I’m excited to see you too.” 

“Do you want to help me with my homework but can we play first?”

There was a lot of energy happening, but Lena smiled because Katie held her hand and persisted to tell her about her day at school. She truly was like her mother in so many ways. 

“We can definitely play first. I really want to go on the swings,” Lena decided. “And I was thinking maybe cheeseburgers for dinner?” 

“Oh, I love cheeseburgers!” 

“Me too!” 

The park was fairly busy with the bustle of the afternoon crowd, but still, they tossed the backpack in the car and took to the park joyfully. Lena came prepared, exchanging her heels for sneakers and work out clothes. The thing she kept reading was that the best practice with children was to get on their level and take part in their activities. That meant running around, and as much as she kind of dreaded pretending to have fun, Lena allowed herself the time to enjoy it. 

They stopped at the best burger place in the city and ordered their food when Kara called to check on them and say goodnight. Lena found it comical how big her phone was in comparison to Katie’s tiny hand. 

“How’s the investigating going, darling?” Lena smiled into her phone while Katie asked for help with her ketchup packet. 

“So far so good,” Kara breathed, somewhat relieved on the other side of the line. “You two seem to be having a good time.” 

“I don’t want to jinx it, but we are. We’re going to head back home and do homework, bath, and bed. Easy night.” 

“And I am across the country while you’re in my bed. It’s a travesty.” 

“I agree.” 

There was a tiny blush as Lena hurried to eat a fry and shut up before she said something stupid in front of a kid.

“Thank you for doing this. I mean it. It means so much to me, and--”

“Just admit I’m the best girlfriend.” 

“I admit it. I’ll sing it from the rooftops.” 

“Don’t worry about us here. Just go do what you gotta do, and we’ll see you on Sunday evening.” 

“It’s a date. Have a good night. I’ll try to call in the morning.” 

“Bye Mommy!” Katie sang towards the phone. 

“Bye, Kara,” Lena offered with just as much joy. 

“Bye ladies. Have fun!” 

With the phone hung up, and the two left at their small table, Lena looked at Katie who just looked back at her before taking a big bite of her burger. 

“Is this what it’s always like?” Lena asked. 

“Yeah except we don’t always eat burgers sometimes Mom makes me eat other foods.”

The CEO just smiled and ate another fry. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Maybe she was just overprepared or overconfident, but Lena found that following her schedule was a perfect way to pass the time with a kid. As she promised Kara, they worked on some homework and got a bath and shower respectively. Lena was only nervous half of the time of doing something wrong, and that was a win and a half for her. 

“And they lived happily ever after,” Lena finished reading the story and closed the book, satisfied by the book well enough. 

Part of what made her nervous about kids was that she honestly had no interest in how unintelligent they were. They just weren’t fully formed yet and found burps amusing and watched such droll and dull shows and read such easy books, and she couldn’t fake interest well at all. She’d been pleasantly surprised by how unannoyed she found herself with all of Katie’s childish things. 

“We can read another,” Katie offered, trying to get out of bed to find another book. 

“I think three was more than enough,” Lena shook her head, amused by the treachery that was attempted. “You should sleep now so I can work on my homework.” 

“Do you need some help? I’m good at homework, you saw mine. It was so good.” 

“Mine’s very boring. You wouldn’t like it,” she promised, pulling the blankets up. “But thank you for offering.”

“Is Mommy going to be home soon?” 

Her eyes were like Kara’s and her chin tilted in the same way. It was amazing to see in person, and genetics, though a simple enough concept, was magnificent. 

“She will be home in a couple of days. But for now, I’m going to stay here. I’ll sleep in your mom’s room.” 

“Like when you stay over sometimes.” 

“Yes, right, exactly,” Lena blushed slightly. 

“Where do you live?” 

“Oh, Well, I live downtown. My house is high up in a tall building

“Can I see it?” 

“There aren’t any toys or fun things for kids to do, you wouldn’t like it.” 

“But you live there and you’ve seen where I live.” 

That was fair Lena realized before being caught by the notion that a five year old was outsmarting her somewhat in the logic department. 

“Maybe we’ll go see it. But I can’t promise.” 

“Sounds good.”

“Good night, Katie. Sleep well. Sweet dreams.” 

“Night, Lena.”

Door finally closed behind her, Lena wasn’t aware of how exhausting Katie had been until she was left in the quiet. And she still had the kitchen to clean up and her work to get done. She wanted to tell Kara that she was amazing for getting it all done and still working on her career. Instead of calling her though, Lena decided she was going to be someone Kara could count on more often. 

XXXXXXXXXX

“Oh Christ!” Lena jolted awake when she saw two eyes staring back at her and felt a hand on her cheek. Her heart leaped and thumped until she realized where she was and who was touching her. 

Katie just giggled and climbed into the bed completely. 

“Good morning. I woke up and went potty and now I’m very hungry. Like I could eat a stack of pancakes.” 

“Let me catch my breath… for a minute…”

“You’re scared when you waked up.” 

“I don’t have kids at my house waking me up usually. I was just a little frightened.” 

Lena turned her head and looked at the little girl who made herself comfortable in the big bed, very close to her. Before she could say something, she felt her phone vibrating and reached for it quickly. 

Katie bounced a little and urged Lena to help with breakfast while the CEO tried to hear what was happening on the other end of the line. 

“Why don’t you go set the table for breakfast,” Lena tried, covering her phone while her assistant kept telling her about what happened with some deal. 

An instant later, little feet made their way down the hall and Lena was able to focus on the task at hand. In a matter of five minutes, she realized that she would have to go into the office to handle it, and now she was unsure of if babysitting was a good idea. 

But it was too late to second guess it. 

“George, hey, I’m so sorry to call-- yes,” Lena smiled as she made her way down the hall. “Could you pick me up at Kara’s…” Katie was already watching cartoons. “And stop and pick up a booster seat.”  

XXXXXXXXXX

“Wow… your office is very cool and awesome,” Katie observed as she sat behind the big desk, eyes wide and enjoying the seat. “I like the windows.” 

“Thanks. It’s alright, I guess,” Lena smiled to herself as she looked around her office. 

“That’s my mom.” 

Katie pointed at the picture frame that had the pair at a gala month ago. Kara had her arm around Lena’s waist and was smiling happily. Lena remembered when they got a little tipsy and stumbled back to her place and the dresses didn’t survive the needy hands and eagerness both exhibited. It was a good memory, and it took that for Lena to realize what useful things photographs were. 

“It is. We went to a party together.” 

“Why do you have it on your desk?” 

“Because I like to look at it and feel happy. Your mom makes me feel happy when I’m kind of bored or stressed. She makes me smile.” 

Katie thought about it and nodded, furrowing at the picture. 

“Yeah, she’s good at making people smile.” 

Her legs kicked and couldn’t reach the floor. Lena took a picture and sent it to Kara so she could see her daughter as CEO-in-training. And then Lena got to the task of running her company while entertaining a child. It was an extra level of difficulty she hadn’t anticipated, but Katie was well behaved, coloring a little and then watching a movie on the couch in the corner while Jess plied her with popcorn and juice. Every step of the way, she asked Lena what she was doing, and even though she didn’t understand anything at first, she listened intently and decided that Lena’s job really was boring. 

Lena had to agree. 

“So the other people didn’t like your… stipala-- stiplat-- what was it?” 

“Stipulations,” Lena explained again with a smile. “Right. So now I have to give them more money to accept those and my board doesn’t want to.” 

“You have lots of money?” 

“Yes. But do you want to know a secret?” Katie nodded eagerly as she leaned against the desk. “When you have a lot of money, you don’t tell people that you do.” 

“Why?” 

“It’s kind of boring to talk about.” 

“What does this company do?” 

“They kind of make new inventions.” 

“That’s pretty cool.” 

Lena type away for a second and waited for another call from her board. She knew the telltale signs of someone who was sick of being stuck in the office, as she’d once been that little girl dragged along when promised something else. She was really mucking up the whole babysitting thing, and she did, desperately, wanted Katie to like her. 

“I don’t think there’s much more I can do right now, they just need my signature,” Lena sat back. “Want to do a little experiment? I can show you what this new company does with magnets and electricity.” 

“An experiment?” Katie asked, perking up slightly. 

“Press that button,” Lena pointed toward her phone. “And you can ask Jess for our supplies.” 

Lena wasn’t sure she’d ever seen such excitement, and she was certain she’d never connected with a kid like she did right there with Katie, her entire life coming full circle. Katie slid into her lap and Lena thought she might have understood a little better.

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Different strokes

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 7 | Part 8 Different strokes | Part 9 >

Disclaimer: tiny bit of angst and plenty of domestic fluff

Author’s note: I LOVE writing domestic fluff and tender Henry, ugh, please bare with me if the chapter seems a bit like a filler. I just don’t want to skip on it 😊😙

Word count: 1.184

(Link to my Masterlist)

--

Dear readers,

It has been some three months since I broke up with my ex, and as my life is getting back its balance - though a place of my own would still be quite nice, I admit - I feel the age old question pop up in my head: what makes a relationship work? The answer to that is probably closeness. Yes, I think closeness. Especially now I have not closeness, but distance to my relationship, do I get to overthink why failure was at hand.

And when I’m talking about closeness, I mean; emotional, sexual, physical and, not entirely unimportant; simply doing day-to-day things together. Is it weird to want those things? No. Did I have those things in my previous relationships? Come to think of it; no. 

Either there was a lack of communication, lack of shared hobbies or we didn’t share the same need for physicality (and sex). And that, in the long run, will hurt you more than any wish to have kids will ever do. If you’re not a team, then this is not the dream.

In other fun news; I am currently in London! How fun is that? So far for.. “living the dream” haha. And of course, as always, I hope such dreams may come to you too, be it as a team or not.

Sweet dreams,

Ali

‘Do you eh..have milk or sugar in your coffee?’ I glanced over my shoulder, watching Henry push some slices of bread in the toaster. We were in the kitchen of his Mews home, readying breakfast. 

‘Used to, but now just black.’ He smiled, brushing past me and pressing a sweet kiss on my cheek in the process. With a gorgeously flexing arm he swung open the fridge door to fetch some eggs for an omelette.

He should wear tight grey shirts more often.

‘And how do you like your eggs?’ He closed the fridge, studying me as I poured us two cups of black coffee. ‘Sunny side up? Slightly gooey in the middle?’ I asked and yawned - it was ungodly early in the morning for a Saturday: 6.45 AM.

‘Very well milady.’ He nodded. ‘Do you always eat eggs for breakfast?’ I blew over my cup of coffee, gently pushing his cup into the direction of the stove where he started cracking open the eggs above a sizzling hot frying pan. ‘Often, yes. Gotta have protein to keep up..’ He flexed his arm. ‘..this.’

Show-off. 

‘Mhmm.’ I hummed with a hint of amusement, my lips sipping on the scorching hot and bitter liquid as I watched him poke the frying eggs, his muscles shifting ever so slightly beneath the grey cotton of his shirt. Oh this was just what I needed. Henry smiled over his shoulder and winked. 

‘I’m glad you’re here.’

‘Good. So am I. Though I’m not going to be fully functioning till 8 AM, just so you know.’

He chuckled. ‘Good to know..good to know.’

—

Before long we had eaten breakfast and were on our way to meet up with his manager. It felt a bit weird to join him, but Henry calmed my nerves, telling me he often had family or friends tag along since it could get rather difficult to stay in contact otherwise.

‘So that’s where we hit a roadblock the last time.’ I muttered, following him out of the cab. He nodded and without hesitation laced his fingers through mine - he was as touchy touchy as I was and I couldn’t help but feel my heart flutter at the simple, yet meaningful gesture. 

‘I fear it did. But I know the pitfalls now, better than ever before. Ten years can make a boy a man.’ He winked, then guided me in gentlemanly fashion towards a coffee place where we’d be spending the next two hours going over his adjusted schedule.

I mostly remained quiet, watching the man he had become in his natural habitat. His brow slightly furrowed as he went over some paperwork with his manager, his voice clear and dominant as he discussed and defended his needs and desires. It was simply very sexy to see him like this. Sure of his business, comfortable, authoritative. So very different from the cuddly bear I had woken up to this morning.

I had known Henry for almost 35 years and finally I got to see him as more than the boy next door. This was a man. A full grown, sexy..man. 

—

‘Happy with the new schedule?’ I asked, hooking my arm more deftly around his, our feet stepping in shared rhythm through the street near his Mews home - I could get used to walking with him. It was calm in the neighbourhood as most people were eating their lunch right now, the usual pitter patter of children running on the pavements now a simple whisper of a memory, the desolate grey tarmac filled with silently resting cars. 

Lunch, yes, that would be a good idea; I could feel my stomach already rumbling quietly. 

‘It’s okay for now.’ Henry awoke me from my stare, smiling down upon me, his hooked arm pulling me a touch closer so my hand was now stuck between his lower arm and bicep. ‘But..?’ I raised an inquisitive eyebrow, my lips turning up in a smile mirroring his.

He was so freaking strong..rawr! 

‘Hmm..’ He hummed. ‘..well it is still going to be quite busy. And I really don’t want it to come in between ..-‘ ‘Us.’ I interjected, understanding where this was going. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, I knew your life is quite different from mine, but I think we might be able to manage. You want to get a bit more grounded, get a real home, and I sure don’t mind travelling a bit - especially as long as it doesn’t interfere too much with my writing job.’

He nodded in agreement, breathing in deeply, his eyes quickly looking towards the pavement ahead of us, his eyes slightly shimmering in the late summer sun. 

Wait...Was he going to ..eh..cry? 

I moved up my other hand to caress his arm, my gentle fingers desperately trying to put some strength in my words. I really did mean them. I didn’t even have a home right now, so other then my job there was fairly little that bound and shackled me to Jersey. I could be there for him, if I chose to do so. 

He sniffled, quickly brushing a tear as it fell down his shaved cheek. ‘Sorry about that.’ He muttered, taking a deep breath and smiling at me again. I squeezed his bicep a little firmer with the hand he kept snug and tight in the hook of his arm, my lips curling in a soft smile as I moved my head to very briefly rest on his shoulder. ‘No need to be sorry Hen.’

‘You’re just so very ..different..from my previous girlfriends. It’s..so nice and normal with you..I..’ He stammered, halting us mere meters away from his home - I could already see the front door, dark blue wood against old but clean dark brickwork.

‘Henn..’ I cooed cupping his cheek with my free hand. ‘You know I’m not one for being fussy. I take things as they come. I’m too old for being insecure and restless. I know what I want. I know what I need. And if I feel I don’t get it, I’ll make sure I either get it..or leave, and search for it elsewhere.’

He sniffled back another tear and quickly gathered me in his arms, a flurry of small kisses pressing into my hair. I giggled, using my newly found arm-freedom to wrap him into an equally tight hug.

‘I really like you Ali.’ He whispered finally, resting his nose into my hair. 

The best of bear hugs. 

‘I like you too Hen.’ I said, my loudly rumbling stomach breaking the simple silence between us as we both couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. ‘My stomach seems to disagree though.’

‘Can’t have that happening. Come on, let’s make us something to eat.’

--

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[youarejesting]

Femme: 27

[MASTERLIST]

Summary: The year is now 3019. Women were going extinct, cryogenics was the only hope for society. Now Femme Industries is the provider of Females, they use computer analysis and algorithms to match a femme to her male applicants. It is common for Femme’s to match with multiple applicants. When you match with seven handsome young men, it is a challenge. But you love a challenge.

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader,

Starring: Bigbang, GOT7,  TXT,  BlackPink, NCT127 and Twice are going to be introduced and explored fully in later chapters.

Rating: Fluff so far

Warnings: Adult themes.

Length: 1.5k words

Announcement: Please comment whether you want smut in the story or as side pieces outside the story. Otherwise it will just be implied and the story will progress without it.

On the way home the boys were grinning talking about their plans for the evening. You had been swinging Namjoon’s hand absentmindedly and he grinned down at you happy that you were happy. When you arrived you saw Hoseok and Taehyung at home both dressed for work.

“I have a Wedding tonight, they want photos at the reception as well” Taehyung stepped forward  and pulled you into his chest the soft fabric pressed against your cheek and the warmth radiating from his body made you feel safe and content “So Hobi and I are going to stay in a hotel tonight just across town, are you going to be okay?”

“Okay, that’s okay you boys have fun” You smiled and they each took turns kissing you goodbye. Taehyung took his time enveloping you in his arms and kissing you painfully slow his hands traveled up your spine. Hoseok pulled you in by the hips with a cheeky grin and kissed you softly barely touching your lips before ghosting his lips down your neck. 

Face bright red, you waved them out the door and sighed hands falling to your sides. Fingers brushing your wrists slowly heading north up your arms causing you to shiver. The person who was behind you was tall, you didn’t dare turn around letting them have their moment. The scent of flowers, vanilla, citrus and musk took over your senses as you relaxed into their broad chest.

He pulled your hair over your left shoulder and leaned down to press kisses to your nape, feeling his lips part and the warm air caress your skin. Tilting his head down to kiss your jawline and his hands continued to run along the length of your arms. You couldn’t help the small sound that escaped your lip and he smiled against your neck. Hands slipped away and the warmth was gone, you turned but he was no longer there, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. 

“Kim Seokjin, You get back here now” You shouted hearing his windshield wiper laughter as he took off down the hallway to his room. Running down the narrow corridor after him you pushed his door open with enough force it bounced off the stopper and swung back behind you as you marched inside he stood there watching amused.

“Oh Y/n, Darling. To what do I owe the pleasure” He tried to appear nonchalant as he unbuttoned his shirt before removing it completely. You were at a loss of words, were you scolding him for what he had done to you, or for running away from what he started. “Is there something I can help you with?”

He leaned over so you were eye to eye and stepped forward. You stepped back watching him curiously, your back pressing the door shut hearing the latch click. Make your eyes falter almost looking behind you but he raised an eyebrow.

“Something wrong?” he tilted your chin up so you were looking only at him and was grinning at you a playful glint in his eye. He leaned down and pecked your lips just once before pulling away causing you to huff in frustration. 

Grabbing him before he could turn away, you pulled him by the arm and caught his lips it was a side of Seokjin you had never seen before. You had seen him act all the time, acting sexy, acting upset, and it usually was obvious in his eyes but this was unlike his usual self. Around you he usually showed what he deemed appropriate displays of affection, things that were perceived as more innocent.

This was not. He had pressed you to the door with his hips, his hands in your hair and his lips twisting with yours. Grabbing your thighs he lifted you so you could wrap your legs around him and walked you to the bed laying down over you. You took your time feeling really good just from your slow make out session. He pulled away when things starting to get too much and you both laid their panting.

There was a knock at the door and it slowly opened, Namjoon’s eyes landed on both of you and his eyes turned dark his jaw tightening. You knew he was not happy, perhaps a little jealous and you felt bad that he did. He spoke quickly about plans for dinner, Seokjin walked to the kitchen announcing he would cook.

Namjoon stood in the doorway looking down the hall after Seokjin and spoke “I think we should have a talk in my office, if you aren’t busy right now” It wasn’t a question and his voice was serious that it made you feel guilty for being so happy and comfortable with Seokjin not two minutes prior.

Smoothing down your hair and passing through the living room, Seokjin winked at you whilst cutting vegetables. You ducked your head moving along quickly. Stepping into office and gently closing the door, he was sitting on his couch hunched over his head resting on his interlocked fingers, elbows perched on his knees.

“Take a seat. I’m not mad at you baby, I am just stressed with work and I have been meaning to speak to you about this for a while now” he said after noticing you tense up he looked up with an apologetic smile, you walked and sat in the armchair tucking your knees under you and turning to him. “Your boss said you were a little worried about some things, especially about intimacy”

You didn’t know what to say so you nodded your head looking down, he reached over and took your hand. “We don’t want to do anything you don’t want, if we do something you don’t like. Tell us and we will stop”

“I want to…” you paused arranging your thoughts trying to gauge his reaction, but he had a poker face from his line of work. Things like interrogation must take practice. “...I want to do things, I just am nervous… I mean, I don’t know how to bring it up, I am just trying to live by the moment”

“Well how about we start by discussing the style of physical relationship you would like, do you want all of us?” he let go off your hand as he asked looking impassive. He was controlling his emotions so as not to pressure you.

“Of course I do, I want all of you, equally. I really like you a lot” You blushed playing with your hands, heart racing he was silent looking straight ahead his face reserved of emotion. Is this not what he wanted to hear. “I may even say I am starting to love you all very much”

His body seemed to jolt like a hiccup was released and you smiled at his boyish expression his dimple revealed. He covered his mouth and cleared his throat trying to collect himself once more. “Okay and when you are thinking of a relationship with us, are you thinking of an open honest one where everyone knows everyone’s business, or behind closed doors, where your intimate moments are private between you and your partner”

“Open and Honest, unless anyone is specifically against it. I don’t want there to be any room for doubt, I don’t want any of you left out of the loop of anything. Also a small part of me would like to share intimate moments with multiple partners” Namjoon blushed and you did too when you realized how that sounded. “Not just sex, as in things like cuddling, I don’t want one of you to see me cuddling another and feeling like you can’t join in”

“I see that is good to know” he said and typing on the computer and rubbing his temples. Sitting up once more his eyes on yours  “Is there anything you don’t want us to do, I read online we should find out what our partner likes and compile a list for better understanding”

“That’s very thorough of you, do you have a list? For that to work we must all compile a list, make a sheet of paper with a ‘yes’, ‘maybe’ and ‘no’ column” He blinked agreeing with your statement. You headed out to dinner and ate in silence except Jungkook who was talking about his day at work and Yoongi who was asking him about different parts of his work. 

“Why is it that Yoongi was the most talkative?” Jungkook frowned helping you put away the dishes and Namjoon stepped out with paper and pens and he called you all to sit back down and explained. We were to each write out our preferences on the paper, into columns of things we want, things we might want and things we don’t want. “Like what hyung”

Namjoon blushed trying to explain and you began writing forming your list and Jungkook leaned over to look at your sheet and ask you what certain things meant and you blushed explaining and Jungkook’s neck and ears grew rather red.

Femme Media 27

Next Chapter

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[talpup]

Erase the Shadow: 18

Summary: Despite sharing dreams with Teris for as long as he can remember, Aizawa Shouta never believed in soulmates.  That was until he met Teris in the real world on his first day at UA.  Trouble is, Teris doesn’t know anything about their shared dreams.  And the one time Shouta tried to tell her, he nearly lost her completely.

Five years after graduating from UA, Shouta still believes Teris is his soulmate.  But things have only gotten worse.  Teris moved to another town shortly after graduation.  And now she’s dating his best friend Yamada Hizashi.

Please remember, this fic is rated explicit and has warnings of sex, violence, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22027552/chapters/56826184

If you enjoyed reading this at all please comment and let me know. Since I post for free, think of it as nice way of leaving a tip.  And since comments are the only thing that encourages me to keep editing and posting, it’s also a benefit for you.

Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a VERY special thank you to those who have recently left comments or re-blogged. They REALLY mean a lot.

As always, an extra special thank you to @inorganicone2230  for their encouragement and friendship.  Also for them helping plot bunny this story out and proofreading this chapter before its posting.  This fic was my personal guilty pleasure, and without them never be getting posted.

18.1

Hizashi had got his turn again, once Shouta was done with his second round.  But he had been too wired to sleep after. Giving up hope of rest, he had left Teris and Shouta slumbering in each other arms to work on the newest song he was writing; but that had gone down about as successfully as sleeping had.

Ears listening for noise from the bedroom, Hizashi had been unable to concentrate.  He had gotten up at any little sound to check on his girlfriend and best friend, part of him sure that they were going at it.

He shouldn’t have been as protective and jealous as he was.  Teris had accepted Shouta, and agreed to be with the both of them.  There was no going back.  Yet he couldn’t help how he felt.

Of course he blamed Shouta for the continued ill feelings about it all.  Shouta should've asked.  They had been in his bed.  The entire thing had been his reluctant idea. Shouta wouldn’t have lost his damned v-card, let alone be with Teris if it weren’t for him. But instead of checking to see if he was alright with it, Shouta had simply gone again.  The man hadn’t even pulled out from his first time.  Hadn’t even glanced his way to see if he was good with having to wait.

They needed to set some rules and boundaries.  Shouta couldn’t just do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted with Teris.  Not when he was there waiting his turn.  Teris might’ve been their girl now; but she had been his girl first.  That alone should afford him some deference with his best friend.

As the minutes turned to hours Hizashi found himself increasingly on edge.  How long was Shouta going to sleep?  The two needed to talk. How could Shouta sleep when there was so much that needed to be settled?

Eyes once again focusing on the digital clock at the bottom of the screen, Hizashi watched the numbers change.  It would have to do, he thought closing the laptop.  He couldn’t wait any longer.

Four-thirty might’ve been a bit early to wake up on a day off. But it wasn’t like it was four, or two-thirty, or one-forty. Shouta would just have to deal.

Stepping into the bedroom, Hizashi made his way over to the right side of the bed.  It had once been Teris’ side, but he supposed it was now Shouta's.

Would Shouta be wanting to sleep with Teris every night?  Hizashi certainly wasn’t going to give that up.  There was no way he would agree to have his girl every other night.  Or worse, every other week.

That was just another thing he and Shouta had to talk about; though he wasn’t splitting his time with Teris, no matter what his friend wanted.

“Shou.”

On his back, Shouta's head turned, burying deeper into the soft, sweet smelling warmth on his shoulder.  His left arm tightened, pulling and holding the warmth closer.

Hizashi's eyes narrowed, mustache twitching. Damn.  He was really gonna have to work on getting his jealousy buttoned down if this was going to work.

He reached out hand and tapped Shouta's shoulder.  “Shou.  Wake—Ow!  Ow, ow.”

On instinct, Shouta had grabbed the disturbing hand and twisted it.  Seeing Hizashi, he relaxed and released him, head dropping back on the pillow.

“Zashi… Leave me alone.” Shouta's eyes were closed before he even finished speaking; breath deepening as slumber returned.

Hizashi rubbed his wrist, frowning. His friend nearly tore off his arm and that was all he got?  No apology, or are you okay?  Granted Shouta wasn’t one to apologize.  And he was even gruffer when woken up but...

“Get up.  There’s stuff we gotta talk about.”

Shouta cracked an eye opened.  The hand that had grabbed Hizashi’s wrist found Teris’ nestled on his chest and covered it, fingers closing around hers.

“She’s asleep.”  Shouta nuzzled his cheek against the crown of her head, a smile tugging at his lips of its own accord. “As I am.”

“I said we had to talk.  Not the three of us.”  Hizashi’s jaw pulsed.

He looked over his sleeping girlfriend, naked and curled around his best friend.  You agreed to this.  You suggested it. You can do this.  It’s worth it if it means keeping her.

Hizashi turned away from the goading image, voice soft but snippy as he made his way towards the door. “Try not to wake her up when you get outta bed.  She can be a light sleeper.”

Shouta closed his eyes and sighed.  The urge to succumb and go back to sleep was great, especially with Teris’ warm, silken body nested so snugly against his.

He smirked, thinking the events of the night.  How Teris had sounded and felt.  Oh, how she had felt!  His morning wood hardened further at the thought.  He couldn’t wait to be seated deep inside her again.  Surrounded by her tight, silken, wet heat.

He groaned, precum leaking from his twitching cock.

Suddenly the urge to sleep jumped to that of wanting to roll her over and wake her up in the best way he could imagine.  But he didn’t want to presume and upset her, especially on their first full, official day as a couple.  Besides Hizashi was waiting, wanting to talk.

Shouta rubbed the sleep from his eyes and pushed away the thought of early morning sex with his Love.

He and Teris clearly needed to discuss a number of things as well.  Chief among them being if she would be comfortable being fucked awake.  Hizashi had said she could be a light sleeper, so maybe eating her out would be a better, slower wakening.

His mouth pooled with saliva at the thought.  Eyes closing, he breathed deeply remembering the taste and smell of her.  Fingers still wrapped around hers, his hand started to slowly drag hers down his chest to his thrumming need.

No. Shouta stopped himself.  Though he was sure she would be fine with him using her hand, or waking up with him between her legs, he couldn’t just do it.  As well as he knew her, Teris wasn’t aware of just how close the two of them truly were.  He didn’t want her to think he had just presumed, or worse taken what he wanted without care.

He decided to shower first.

Even though he hadn’t crashed here in more than a year and a half, the bag of clothes he kept in Hizashi's guest room closet was still there. The clothes were a bit musty but at least they were clean and without cum stains.

Wet hair dampening his charcoal shirt, Shouta entered the dining area and remarked on the lack of smell.  “No coffee?”

Hizashi gestured to the ticking clock he had impatiently watched while waiting for his friend. “It’s four-fifty in the morning, Man.”

“Exactly.” Shouta gruffed, heading to the kitchen to make a pot.

Hizashi watched him, fingers tapping out a sped-up beat to possibly a new lyric of his song.

Shouta's red, tired eyes had held something Hizashi had rarely seen in them.  A light of happiness.  His chest swelled with a sort of pride at that.  He had done that.  He was the reason his friend was happy. Well Teris was; but it wouldn’t have happened if not for him.

He might have reluctantly suggested sharing as a way to assure keeping his girl.  But having seen his usually down and tired best friend with a happy light in his eyes, Hizashi had to admit that some of the side effects of his decision weren’t all bad.

Shouta was a pro hero and teacher who worked himself ragged. The man gave so much of himself never asking for anything in return. He was the best friend Hizashi could've asked for.  He deserved to have that bit of light shining in his eyes all the time.  He deserved to be happy.

Hizashi's own happiness faltered. It was just a shame that Shouta's happiness came from being with Teris.

“We gotta talk, Man.”

Shouta returned with a black coffee for him and an overly sweetened one for Hizashi.  “You said that already.”

“You can’t just take another turn when I’m there without checkin’ with me.”

Shouta swallowed his irritation and took a seat.  Teris wasn’t some ride that they lined up for.  More than that, Shouta didn’t feel he should have to check with anyone, especially not when Teris had said she wanted to go again.  But he kept his peace and tried to think of it from Hizashi's point of view.  He certainly wouldn’t have liked it if he had been waiting and Hizashi went again without care or question.

“You’re right.”

Hizashi blinked in surprise.  Well that had been easier than expected.

“So, we gotta lay down some ground rules.  Yeah?”

Shouta sat back, running a hand through his hair, and sighed. “Yeah.”

18.2

Teris had woken up in bed alone, and for a brief moment had doubted the night had actually happened.  Then she heard Hizashi talking and even though she couldn’t hear Shouta, she could imagine his low, sedate voice during Hizashi's pauses.  Her guys, she thought with flushed excitement and disbelief.

Getting up she turned on the shower and stepped under the spray as soon as the water warmed.  Eyes closed, she let the hot water soothed her aching muscles.  She could bask in there forever, or at least until the hot water ran out.

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear the bathroom door open, or see the person who had entered and undressed.  So when a body slipped in and pressed up behind her, she startled with a squeak.

“Jumpy.”

If she hadn’t instantly known it was Shouta from the feel of his strong chest and gentle, calloused touch, the deep rumble of his voice would’ve confirmed it.

“Some pro hero I am.” She half jested.

Dismissing her critic, Shouta wrapped his arms around her. “There’s no reason for you to be on alert.  Not when you’re home, safe with me.”  He pulled her flush against him and kissed her neck, noting the way her skin prickled.  “What’s the matter, Love?  Water suddenly cold?”

“Tickles.”

“What? This?”  He rubbed his stubbled chin over her shoulder.

“Yes.” She giggled, squirming.

Shouta hummed, smiling softly. “You seemed to like the feel of it well enough last night.”

“I did. I do!  It feels amazing.”

“You’re amazing.”  He murmured, lips brushing her skin.

Her back bumped his chiseled chest.  “You’re a fool.”

“A fool for you.”  Shouta immediately grimaced.

It was something Hizashi would say.  A cheesy line that he would want to roll his eyes at. but refrain; because if he rolled his eyes every time Hizashi said something stupid he’d never see a thing.

Her hands ran over his forearms still locked around her waist. “Shou?”

“Hum?”

“I know what we agreed but…”

Shouta's lips paused on her neck.  His shoulders tensed, breath catching in his throat. Had she changed her mind?

“Are you sure?”

He relaxed, exhaling.

His nose traced a circle around one of the many hickies he had left. “Positive.”  Ignoring Hizashi's, he kissed the marks he had made up to her ear.  “Do you still doubt my feelings for you?”  He pressed his hips against her, letting her feel his hardening cock. “I’d gladly prove my love over and over again.”

It wasn’t that she doubted.  Shouta was a man of his word who would never lie or joke about such a thing as love. It was only that she found it difficult to grasp that the man she had secretly loved since their first year at UA loved wanted her in return.

Rather than say that, she leaned her head back against him.  “Perfection doesn’t need practice, Raven.  And last night, you were…”  She groaned, body responding to the memory.  “Amazing.”

“One can always get better, Kitten. And with as good as I wanna be at pleasing you, I definitely need the practice.”

“Just how much practice are we talking about?”

“Lots, and lots of practice.”

“Lots?” She giggled, at the tickle of his scrapping scruff.

“So much practice.”

“Sounds like a lot of work.”

Shouta hummed in agreement. “I already plan on cutting down my patrol hours to cope.”

She pulled away and turned. “You are?”

He nodded, body chilling at the loss of her despite the steamy air.

There was nothing but clear, serious intent in his eyes and Teris didn’t know if that troubled or assured her.

Shouta stepped to closer. Hot water hit his chest, wandering rivulets trailing down his body.

Teris swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. It took every ounce of self control to hold his gaze and not let her eyes follow those tiny, curving streams.

“Why do you sound so surprised? This—You, are far more important.”

She shook her head.  “I—I’m—”

“Are everything to me.”  He finished for her.

Her self control broke, eyes lowering to take in his wet, naked body.

Shouta let his gaze do the same, cock coming to full hardness and twitching at the sight of her.

She whimpered watching his proud, bobbing dick.  She wanted to touch it.  To touch him.

“Now…” Shouta grinned. “About that practice.”

Teris shivered at his deep, husky rasp.  Her eyes lifted to his.  He was wearing a smile that showed too many teeth and she loved it.  She loved him.  Who was she to deny her Love?

Shouta was on her before she could move, stepping her back till her back was against the shower wall.

She gasped, the tiles cold against her heated skin.  Her hand slid down his defined chest, following the glistening streams of water.  She groaned into his hungry mouth at the first feel of dark, wiry hair that trailed to a far more delightful prize.

Shouta grunted, hips thrusting at the first touch of her hand on his thrumming cock.

Her hand closed, fingers unable to meet around his thickness. She could feel him throb in her hold and groaned, remembering how he felt inside her.

Shouta's hands smoothed around her waist and down to her ass.  Groping a cheek in each hand he pulled her up, pressing in against her.

“I want you.”

“I want you too.”  She breathed.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” She said, without hesitance.

“Then trust I won’t drop you.”

Before she could gather what he meant, she was lifted up.

Teris yipped, arms and legs clapping around him.

Face against the side of her head, Shouta soothed. “It’s alright, Kitten.  I got you.  I won’t let you go.  I’ll never let you go.”

Her hold eased, body rolling at the hard, hot feel of him.  “Shou…  Please. I need you, Raven.”

Shouta groaned.  How long had he waited to hear her say those words in the waking world?

“It’s alright, Ris. I’m right here.  I got just what you need.”

She squeaked when one of his hands let go, but his hold remained strong and sure.

“I told you I got you.”  He smirked.

Damn, she thought. No one had the right to look that confident and hot.  Arms around his neck, she pulled him to her.  Her tongue swiped between his lips, teasing his out.

Shouta’s foot slipped.

He widened his stance, shifting Teris and their center of gravity.  What the hell was he thinking? He couldn’t have against the wall shower sex on his third time ever. Rationally speaking, he should at least have regular wall sex first just to be sure he could keep his legs.  But from the moment he had walked in, he had been far from thinking rationally. He just hoped he didn’t crack his head open.

The head of his cock pushed in, splitting her wide.

Teris’ nails dug into his shoulders.

Shouta grunted, finding it not as easy as to sheath himself as it had been the first time.  His hips pumped and pulled back, slowly rocking his weeping dick into her tight heat till he was firmly seated in place.

Teris groaned, face buried in his neck.  How was it that he felt even bigger than last night?

“Look at me, Kitten.”

Her head lifted, eyes searching his.

“So beautiful.”  He kissed her and rested his forehead against hers.  “You ready?”

She nodded.

“Words, Ris.  Let me hear you.”

“Yes. Please, Shouta.  I want you.”  Her hands tugged at his neck.

Shouta gave a testing thrust, pleased when his feet held firm.

“You and I are gonna have to talk about what you’re comfortable with.” He said, driving into her at a firm, sedate pace.

“Wha--” She moaned, head rolling when he found the spot within her.

Shouta hummed, pleased with how quickly he had hit it.  “I wanted breakfast in bed.”

“What?” Her brow furrowed in pleasure and attempted concentration.

“Can I eat you awake, Kitten?”

Her half lidded eyes widened.

He bit back a curse at the way she tightened around him.  While he loved knowing the full effect such a thought had on her; maybe now wasn’t the best time to bring it up, not if he hoped to last.

Even so, he couldn't help but taunt.  “Would you like that?  To wake-up with my mouth on that pretty pussy of yours?  Tongue lapping up your sweet juices, or driven deep into your hot little hole.  Lips wrapped around your clit, sucking and licking that perfect little bundle of nerves till you leave a pool of slick--”

“Shouta!”

He chuckled at her shivered moan.  “Your body seems to like the idea.  But I need to hear it from you, Kitten.  Tell me.  Would you like that?”

“Yes.” She panted, hips rolling to meet his.  “Yes!”  Her fingers raked up the back of his neck to his scalp, clutching a fistful of hair.

Shouta hissed, hips and feet staggering at the electrifying sensation.

Teris smiled knowingly, and gave another tug.

Her wicked grin wasn’t missed by Shouta who gave the back of her thigh a slap that echoed in the confined space. “Little Minx.”

She yelped more out of surprise than from the light sting. “You seem to know all my spots.  Why can’t I abuse the few of yours I’ve discovered?”

You know more than a few, he thought.  You know them all, just like you knew to call me Raven.  It’s in there, Teris. You just have to remember it.

“You want abuse do you?”  He gave a sharp thrust, the sound of wet skin hitting loud within the shower stall. “How about I abuse that pretty pussy of yours and nail you to the wall?”

“Fuck!” She hugged his neck.  “Yes!”

“Where’s your manners, Kitten.  Say, please.”

“Please! Please, Master.  Fuck me!”

Shouta's cock thrummed at the name.

“Fuck!” His hips slammed against hers, hand diving between them.  “Master’s got you, Kitty Cat.” His thumb pressed against her clit, rubbing tight circles.

Her back arched, toes curling.  “Shou!”

“You take my cock so well.”

“I love…”

“What do you love, Kitten?”

“You. I love you.”

“I love you, Teris. So much.” Shouta kissed her but had to pull away to breath.

Her nails sunk deep into his shoulders as his thumb and rutting cock drove her ever closer to her peak.

Shouta hissed at the pleasured pain, taught muscles rolling and jerking.

“Kitten has claws.”  He lifted her up, dropping and splitting her open on his thick dick. “Maybe you’re not my good little house cat after all.” He bit her neck, sucking a fresh claiming mark. “Are you a naughty little alley cat that needs to be taught and tamed?  Want me to put a on collar you and punish you when you’re bad?  Fed you my milk and have you sit on me, warming my cock till that tight little pussy forgets what it feels like to be empty of me.”

Shouta wasn’t one to babble, but he was doing so now.  He was so use to them taking each other through when they got themselves off in their shared dreams that doing so now felt natural.  Only in the real world with the actual feel and taste of her, the words tumbled from his mouth without thought.

It was frenetic.  Something he couldn’t have stopped if he tried.  But from the way her silken walls quivered and clenched around him, she liked it too.

Then again, why wouldn’t she? She was the same Teris from their dreams.  And in there she not only loved it when he talked to her like that, she talked right back.  If only she could remember.  Why wouldn’t she remember?

“Tell me what you want, Ris.”

Her breath was heavy and panted.  “You!  I want you, Raven.  Please.  Please, Shouta!”

“Please what, Kitty Cat?”  He pressed harder against her clit.

She screamed out, the sound beautiful to his ears.

“Tell me what you want.”

“Harder. Fuck me harder, Shou. Fill me up with your cum.  Please, Master!  Please!  Give me your milk.  I need you’re—ah!”

“Shi—it!” Shouta cussed and did just that.

He gave two hard thrusts that knocked the air out of her, then unloaded into her quivering cunt.

If Teris’ coil hadn’t snapped seconds before, the feel of his pulsing dick spitting thick, hot ropes of cum would've set her off.

Shouta grunted, hips pushing him deeper and deeper as the last of his milky seed pumped out, painting her walls.

Face buried into his neck, Teris licked and kissed in between heavy pants and spent moans.

As badly as Shouta wanted to stay in her, he had to set her down.  His orgasm had hit him so fast and hard it left him weak and trembling.  He would get better he told himself, pressing against her to hold them both upright against the wall.  He would practice with her, and his control would get to the point that he could make her lose complete control.

He smiled, chest warming with possessive pride as he took note of the new marks littering her neck and chest.  He would have to get better at controlling that too, and before school started. Unless she let him teach her how to use his capture weapon…

“Breakfast is ready if you two are done getting dirty while getting clean?”  Hizashi poked his head through the door.

Shouta swallowed his annoyance at the disturbance.  After all it had been Hizashi who suggested he come fetch Teris and take his time about it.

Teris shut off the water.

Shouta stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist and handing Teris one.

Hizashi watched them, noticing the fresh marks on his girl. There was a definite weight of jealousy but it wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t cope.  He wasn’t exactly happy with how loud Teris had been during the obvious sex she and Shouta had had. But if didn’t burn as badly as he had thought it would. Besides, it would help prove to Teris that he was really okay with sharing, and earn him some goodwill with Shouta.

He moved to her, kissing her damp brow.  “Rested and refreshed, Baby?”

She pulled on one of Hizashi’s many band tee’s and gave him a pecking kiss in return. “I slept well.”

“I bet you did, Sweetness.  Shou and I tuckered you out good.”

She ignored the heated flush of her cheeks. “When did you get up?”

Hizashi waved her off. “You know me, Wren. I keep worse hours than you and Shou combined.  So what do you think?”

She began towel drying her hair. “About what? Breakfast? Yeah.  I’m starving.”

“No, Babe. About moving.”

The towel dropped. “Moving?”

Hizashi looked at Shouta.  “You didn’t tell her?”

Shouta let his dripping hair curtain him off from his friend's accusing gaze. “Did get a chance.”

“Yet you had enough time to--”  Hizashi stopped and took a breath.

Calm. He had to stay calm.  He was the one who sent Shouta in here after all.  Sure he had told Shouta to take his time; but he had also told the man to tell Teris about their decision to move.  He had thought she would take it better from Shouta, especially if was followed by sex.

“Zashi.” Teris prodded, looking between the two men.

“You wanna live with Shouta too, right Baby?”

A part of Hizashi hoped she’d say no, or want to slow things down.  Just because they were sharing didn’t mean that she had to accept Shouta to the level that she did him.  They had been dating for two years before she moved in with him.  It would only be fair if she made Shouta wait just as long.

“Yes.” She mumbled, still guilt and unsure about it all.

“Ris! Don’t sound so sorry, Babe! What did I tell ya last night?”

Maybe it was better coming from him, Hizashi thought.  It would help prove to her that he truly was fine with this and didn’t hold it against her.  And since actions, even if they were acted, often effected thoughts, maybe it would help him feel truly fine with it.

Shouta stepped to her.  “Are you sure?  I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

He says after agreeing to the move and talking about possible places, Hizashi thought.

Teris smiled, placing a hand on Shouta’s bare chest. “You’d never make me feel pressured.”

Hizashi sniffed and looked away.  She hadn’t meant it as a dig against him, but he felt a piercing prickle at the statement nonetheless.

So what if he pressured her from time to time, he thought. It wasn’t as if she didn’t end up enjoying whatever it was eventually.

“But… Where would we move?”  Teris wondered, looking back at Hizashi.

“I had an idea about that.” Hizashi grabbed the hand she had on Shouta and pulled her to him. “What d’ya say we build a place?”

“Build!” Teris balked.

Shouta shook his head, picking up his still damp shirt from his earlier shower. “I’m not doing that.  Too much time and effort.  I told you.  I don’t care where or how much so long as we’re settled in before the new school year, and it’s not too far from UA or my or Teris’ patrol route.”

Hizashi had to admit Shouta had a point about wanting to be close to work.  And if they built they’d have to move further out of the city center to find a suitable property.  He didn’t want to be that far from the party scene.

“I care very much how much!”  Teris stressed looking between the two.

She wasn’t some celebrity pro hero like Hizashi who had paid gigs and merchandise sales.  Nor was she able to call on funds from her family or some trust like Shouta.  Most of the pay she got still went to others who needed it far more than she did.  The only reason she let Hizashi talk her into letting him cover all of the rent here was because the little pay that she did keep was needed to secure new CI’s.

“How about an old warehouse between your patrol routes and the station?”  Hizashi asked the other man, thinking it’d be nice to be able to walk, instead of drive home after signing off the air.

“Warehouse?” Teris echoed thinking about the cost.

Eyebrows furrowed, Shouta stuffed his arms through his shirt. “Too big.”

“We don’t hav’ta use the entire space.  In fact, we could leave the ground floor pretty much untouched and turn it into a training ground.”  Hizashi tempted.

Shouta halted, shirt gathered to pull over his head.

Hizashi saw the mans eyes brighten at the prospect. Gotcha, he thought.  “I’ll look around and work up some plans.  Yeah.”

Shouta pulled the shirt over head and grumbled. “I don’t want to have to mess with designing a layout.”

“I said I’ll look around and work up some plans.”

“Also don’t wanna have to pick stuff out. So long as the bed and sofa are big enough and comfortable I don’t care.”

Hizashi snapped, shooting fingers guns at his friend. “Good thing I’m awesome at details and decor.”

Shouta wrinkled his nose.  “Nothing too out there.  And don’t go crazy with the colors.”

Hizashi rolled his eyes.  He had seen Shouta's place.  The complex was run down and downright scary at night.  The apartment itself not much better.  While the sofa had been top notch, with good quality leather and plush, comfortable cushions; everything else had been plain and cheap.  Not that there had been much else inside. Just the sofa, coffee table, a table and two chairs.  He hadn’t gone into the bedroom; but assumed it was the same bare bones furnishing with no decor.

“Anything else?”  Hizashi asked.

Shouta started to shake his head then stopped.  “No slip tiles in the shower.”

Hizashi forced his smile to remain.  “You had that problem too, huh?  I have a bath mat for that, but the cleaning lady always forgets to put it back down.”

Shouta looked away, telling himself that he didn’t care so long as he got to be with Teris.

“Oh.” He turned back. “And a separate bedroom.”

“Of course!  You and I will get our own room and huge one for us to share with our girl.”

Still reeling from all of this, Teris finally spoke up. “Where’s my room?”

“What do you mean, Babe?”

Shouta wondered the same.  When he had said separate room he had meant one specifically for just him and Teris.  He knew that they would probably be spending most nights in the same big room, with Teris sandwiched between him and Hizashi.  But on the nights when Hizashi had to work late or was away, he wanted a room that she and him could share without the memory of Hizashi being in it and over her.  It wouldn’t be his room, as Hizashi had put it.  It would be his and Teris’ room.  But here she was asking for a room of her own, separate from him?  Why would she want that?

“Baby, you’re gonna have the biggest room in the house!  It’s gonna have a big ol’ bed where Shou and I will rock your world each night and—”

“That’s our bedroom. You and Shouta get a room.  A place to breathe and be away—”

Hizashi looked positively wounded.  “You wanna be away from us?”

Teris shook her head.  “That’s—”

“You’re already planning on us arguing and needin’ some space?  You never needed space when it was just us.  Or did you and simply never said?”

“Zashi. That’s not what I—”

“Did I do something wrong, Baby?  Why do ya wanna be away from me?” Hizashi swallowed his growing worry, jaw clenching.

First he hadn’t been enough, and she wanted Shouta.  Now she wanted her own space away from him.  Was he still going to lose her?  Even after everything he had done.

“Let her speak, Zashi.”

Though Shouta was slightly hurt by her words, he was calm and watchful enough to see that they might've misunderstood.  At least he hoped they had.  He had been forced to spend years away from her after finding out that she was actually real. Now that they were finally together, he didn’t want to spend a single night without her.  It would be like it had been when they had shared dreams on a nightly bases, only better cause here they could touch.

Teris smiled her thanks at Shouta. “I’m not asking for a separate bedroom.  Just a separate space to work and call my own.”

She didn’t see the big deal.  She had one here.  While most of her time spent in the small office was when Hizashi was out or away for work, it was still hers.  Filled with furniture she had bought and brought with her in the move.  As wonderful as it was living with Hizashi, after years of living on her own, she needed something to call her own.  Especially when Hizashi insisted on paying for everything.

Shouta's chest lightened.  She didn’t want a place to rest away from him. She just wanted a space to breath and be alone for a bit.  He could understand that.  He had claimed a storage closet at UA for that very same reason. Sure he had his classroom; but even when it was empty of students there was usually someone knocking or bursting in to bother him.

Teris looked at the two men.  Her guys.  Why would they think she’d want a separate bedroom? Hizashi who she had spent two years in a long distance relationship with.  The two of them had talked on the phone each night wishing that they could touch and hold each other instead of a small, hard unforgiving device. Shouta who she had spend years wanting and pinning over.  Even now her fingers twitched wanting to feel him.  Body burned wanting to be against him.  She didn’t want to spend a single night without either of them.  She loved them.

Hizashi's lips twitched.  So she wanted a space like the office she had claimed.  He wasn’t entirely happy with that; but seeing as Shouta was fine with the idea, there wasn’t much he could say against it.  It wasn’t as if she spent much time in there, he consoled himself. Still, with him now having to share her with Shouta, he didn’t like the idea of her sharing her time with anyone else, even if that person was herself.

[rocketmanmadden]

I’m not ready Pt. 1

Requested by @deliciousrain19

Taron Egerton tells a reporter he's ready for kids soon, which surprises reader. She needs more time. This hurts Taron. The more angst, the better.

Masterlist!

Warnings- all angst, talks of sex (not a lot and not in a sexual way), some swearing

A/N- I’m literally a teenager and in no place to have kids for like 10 years but I literally don’t think I could ever turn down having Taron’s children idc my age oop-

Also for some reason it’s not letting me tag some accounts?? I have the username of the requesters right but the past few times it hasn’t been letting me tag them, it just says no blog found but I’m able to message them under the same name so I’m sorry!

You wake up to your alarm set on your phone at 8:45 am and roll out of bed, running downstairs to your living room making sure you don’t miss Taron on tv this morning at 9. You realize you have about 10 minutes or so before it starts, making yourself a cup of tea and cuddling up on the couch, finishing whatever program is on before the talk show he’s appearing on begins.

You watch every single one of his interviews, you always have ever since you got together 3 years ago. Even though it’s never anything new you hear him say, just him going on about you or his new movies, you wouldn’t miss it. He found it comforting knowing you were watching, and you just found him adorable on the TV.

He comes on and starts talking about the usual, he discusses the movie for a few minutes before you end up getting somehow brought up. You take a sip of your tea while listening to him before the interviewer asks him a question, and his answer leaves you in utter shock

“You’ve been together for a little while now, what are your thoughts on children? Can we expect any Egerton babies soon?”

If you didn’t almost choke on your drink at the question, you did at the answer

“Oh goodness I love kids” his face lights up with a smile. “I hope so, I really am ready for kids. I’m 29, in a great relationship, it seems to me everything adds up perfectly. To answer the question fully, yeah hopefully soon.”

You put your cup of tea down so you can put your face in your hands, gently rubbing your forehead taking all of this in

You don’t know how to feel about this. Shock? Angry? Wanting to break down and cry? It seems at the moment you were feeling all of the above. How dare someone even ask a question like that, something so personally and meaningful to a couple. And why would Taron never think to tell you he felt this way? He never ever discussed kids with you, this is just so sudden.

Yeah, you might both be grown adults but that means nothing when having kids. You just aren’t ready yet, and you don’t want kids right now. Not with his work schedule and him not being home all the time, you aren’t doing this alone when you don’t want it yet in the first place.

About 2 hours go by of you worrying about what’s gonna happen when Taron gets home, before you hear your front door open

“Y/N love? Where are you?” He calls out before you respond with “couch, living room” closing your laptop and sitting it on the end table.

He runs into the living room and shoots you a big smile, feeling confident as he usually does when he finishes an interview “So what did you think?”

You sit there for a minute trying to decide if you should give him a “great” with a fake smile or a straight up “I hated it”, quickly realizing neither of those will work, and you just need to talk to him and tell him the truth.

“I think we need to talk about it” you say patting the couch on the empty space next to you. “Sit” which he quickly places himself on the couch. “Is everything okay? I thought I did good.” He asks worriedly with a look of confusion plastered on his face

“You did T, but that reporters questions were highly inappropriate to ask anyone”, your response causing him to furrow his eyebrows, not understanding. “What exactly about it was inappropriate love? I don’t seem to be on the same page as you are”

You tried to go lightly but at this point your confused and worked up. “You don’t ask someone when they’re going to knock up there girlfriend on live television Taron! It’s inappropriate!” You exclaim, it finally clicking with him as he sighs a soft “oh”

“I don't reckon that’s how he worded it. He was just simply curious” he tries telling you but only making you feel worse with his last sentence

“It is none of his business Taron, it’s mine. I’d hope I’d be carrying the child at least. You told him before you told me. Hearing this live where a million other people can was a lot to take in this morning, you should’ve talked to me about this, not him, me.” You try to say calmly but accidentally yell at him

“Y/N, don’t talk nonsense. Of course you’d be carrying the child. I’m sorry I didn’t talk about this with you before, so please, let’s talk about it now” he takes your hand in his and holds it. “I just got so excited at the thought of kids, I really want to have one soon”

“Well I don’t” You accidentally blurt out before he slowly unlaces his hand from yours, his eyes saddening. “Y-you don’t?” His voice breaks. “But why not?”

“I’m just not ready yet. This is just so sudden and you have a job where you’re constantly all over the place and it’s just not the right time” you try letting him down easy before he stands up, pacing around in front of you. “My work is the best excuse you have? Or is it that you don’t want to take responsibility and step up and be a mum. People have it a lot worse than you, and they still be a parent. Or is it you don’t love me anymore? You don’t want to have a baby with me.” He’s chokes out and wipes a tear before it runs down his face

“Taron” you shake your head, standing up off the couch and in front of him. “It isn’t like that at all and you know that. I can take the responsibility any day, don’t even give me that bullshit. How often do I go out and get wasted and party? Almost never because I’m mature as hell. And don’t even start with the ‘you don’t love me anymore’ because you know I love you more than anyone in this world. I’m really just not ready for this yet” you cross your arms

“Well you don’t get to make every decision Y/N! It’s always whatever you want.” He shouts

“When it’s a decision that means I have to have sex and it ends up putting a child in my body and the life of a human being in my hands then yeah I do get what I want Taron! You want a kid so bad, carry your own fucking child! Until then, I’m not having your kid right now, I’m sorry” you take a step closer to him before he backs away and wipes his eyes

“Fine then” is all he can say before he slowly starts to walk away

“Taron please…”

“Not right now Y/N. I’m going in the basement and I don’t want you to follow me down there. Just give me my space and leave me alone” he walks away

You fall back into the couch putting your head in your knees, ready to burst out in tears. You hated hurting him and you could tell you broke his heart, you had no clue how badly he wanted children and you yelling at him didn’t help the situation, but you aren’t ready yet and he can’t get mad at you for that. Children need to be a mutual decision, but you don’t want him upset and you need to make things right. You know he doesn’t want you down there so you decide to text him

“Baby can we talk?”

“I’m so sorry”

“Please respond T, I know you’re reading them”

“What do you want me to fucking say Y/N!?” He screams up from the basement before starting to stomp up the steps and whipping the door open, walking straight past you up the other flight of stairs to the bedroom, you quickly chasing after him.

“What are you doing love?” You stand at the doorway as he grabs a backpack, putting some clothes in it.

He continues throwing things in his bag, not even looking at you when he answers. “I know we don’t walk out when we’re in fights, but I have to this time. I’m just so upset and I can’t fix it right now. I booked a hotel for myself for the night, I don’t want to be in this house at the moment, we’ll talk tomorrow” He zips up his bag and starts making his way down stairs.

“Please don’t go” your eyes filling up with tears as he opens the door. “Don’t cry Y/N/N, please. I have to, I need time to think and just be alone for a little bit” he begins walking to the Uber already parked outside your house.

“B-Bye” you call out, tears falling down your cheeks. Him just responding by nodding his head, leaving in the Uber, and leaving you in your doorway in tears.

For the first time in a long time, you slept alone that night. The other side of the bed cold, where Taron should be.

[absconditum-imaginaerum]

The Wasp’s Nest | Jeonghan

Jeonghan | The Wasp’s Nest | M

Words | 11,000

Notes | Smut; semi-graphic, cursing, un-edited, CEO!Jeonghan, CEO!Reader | This was supposed to be my hate-sex fic that I talked about on the other blog and then it turned into a soft mess because I gave in and let Jeonghan take over my heart so… Definitely wish he was ruining my life less but I guess this is my decree of acceptance.  

“I really, really, really have to advise against going by yourself, CEO, ma’am. It’s not that I don’t think that you can handle it on your own, because I would be a fool to think that any of us would be able to handle it better than you; I really just think one of us should go as some type of moral support because everyone around here knows how much you absolutely despise—”

You turned to face Dokyeom, the worry in his voice was cute, but he was about to drop a name that was a stain on your pants. The handle to your office was cold from disuse, but not even that distracted you from the highest tiered employee of your company.

“Dokyeom, sweetie.”

He hated when you started this way because he knew he was going to get yelled at.

“First of all, how many times must I ask you to please stop calling me ma’am. Second of all, I will undoubtedly be attending this conference by myself and third of all, if you so much as utter that man’s name in this building… repercussions will not be so forgiving; do I make myself understood?”

You didn’t yell, so that was a good start. Dokyeom clenched the files in his hands that he held firmly to his chest as he looked at you with the fire that wanted to object.

“I just think it would be a good idea if Joshua or I accompanied you. We don’t have to attend the conference or anything, I just want someone to be there for you if you need it because a phone call has the tendency to not be as comforting or reassuring as one would need in a situation you feel out of control of—not that you’re ever out of control, I just know how he—”

Your grip had finally fallen from the knob as you turned to completely face him. Dokyeom and Joshua were the eyes and ears of every nook and cranny of your empire. They, your most trusted and valuable employees, often took care of you beyond their boss, but rather, as incredibly close friends. Dokyeom was the stiff type, usually stuck out like a sore thumb and the man in question knew him pretty well; Joshua, on the other hand, would be from a completely different ballpark, attending the conference with you. So, with your arms crossed over your chest, you replied.

“I appreciate your amity, Dokyeom. I have reflected briefly on your concerns and have decided I will take Joshua with me to the conference. Would that settle your nerves a little?”

Part of you had anticipated a disappointed look on Dokyeom’s face if you thought he was in it for the trip, but he wasn’t. He was in this conversation out of that pure regard for you as a close friend and genuine concern about your wellbeing at said conference. He smiled softly, dragging his gaze up from the floor to look you directly in the eyes.

“Yes, it will. Thank you for your consideration,” he replied, that same jovial smile showed you his pearly whites even as you turned to open your office door. “Joshua, you’re going to Busan the day after tomorrow!” Dokyeom called just as your office door clicked closed. You leaned against the fresh mahogany, looking around the decorative art pieces of your dimly lit office with just a sole desk lamp illuminated in the far corner where your desk resided. Daintily, you stepped out of your heels and shuffled over the polished wood floor to the leather couch in the middle of your office, an ornamental rug placed underneath the couch was plush against the bottom of your feet as you plopped onto the dark furniture.

The serenity that you attempted to grant yourself was short lived, as there came a knock on your door but a moment later that you could only assume would be Joshua. With a heavy sigh and small rubbing of your temples, you called for him to enter.

“Come in, Joshua,” you uttered just loud enough for him to hear through the door. Tentatively, he turned the knob and slipped in almost noiselessly to close the heavy mahogany behind him. He didn’t bring anything with him, which you were surprised about. Usually he had a note pad to jot some things down or a report or something to discuss, but it was just him in a dashing pressed navy suit. He slipped over to you while you were still rubbing your head and sat down on the couch next to you which would have been uncomfortably so if you weren’t as close to him as you were.

“Is this that biannual conference that all the big CEOs go to where he-who-shall-not-be-named is going?” Joshua asked you, trying to be sensitive about the situation because he knew how much you absolutely despised CEO Yoon.

“Why yes, yes it is,” you replied, sarcastically enthusiastically as you finally turned your attention to Joshua. His demeanor was so sweet; he just looked at you with those dazzling eyes, and waited for you to spill to him like you normally would. It wasn’t as if you never spilled to Dokyeom, but he did a lot of talking when all you wanted was some listening and perhaps some sound advice. One look at your face, though, and he could tell you weren’t in the mood to talk about it, but that he could provide something else for you that you wanted—a weakness you never showed to anyone except him.

Joshua’s slender arm wrapped around your shoulders as you turned to him and laid your head against his shoulder. It was a sweet silence for a while as you just sat there, contemplating the conference like it was going to be your last day on earth. Joshua was comforting, nonetheless, as usual. His soft breathing rhythmically lulled you just a tiny bit; just enough for you to forget about the conference even if it was only for a split second. He rubbed innate circles through your suitcoat against your shoulder and leaned his head against your own, patiently waiting, but you never said anything.

“It’ll be okay, honey. I’ll be there with you.”

Joshua had been with the company since before your father handed it down to you. He was your most trusted advisor and took care of you then, but less so than he did now. In fact, he was in the running for successor before you finally decided that having a stake in the company probably wasn’t the worst idea and then he threw the magnificent title of CEO right onto your unprepared shoulders. The last few years had been a struggle, but Joshua and Dokyeom were with you every step of the way.

“I just really don’t want to deal with that arrogant, smug, son of a bitch.”

__

If the train seat could quiver under your ass from your anxiety, it was. Joshua was seated next to you, content as a cucumber while you were busy fumbling with your things.

“A little birdie told me you didn’t get much sleep last night being far too anxious over this dumb conference. Take this pillow, put it against the window and take a nap; it will make the ride go a lot faster,” Joshua suggested. You stopped fussing with your things, taking the small pillow he offered to you and placed it against the window as he pulled up the armrest between the two of you. Just as you were about to get comfortable, Joshua collected your slack-clad legs and hoisted your heel-less feet over his lap, turning you to let you lounge a bit.

“Joshua—”

“Just sleep,” he interrupted, hushing you immediately and you sunk into the pillow to close your eyes. You knocked out for the whole ride, only waking up to the gentle utter of your name as Joshua shifted your legs off his lap, bringing you out of your nap and back upright, and barely caught your fisted hand which begged to dig deep into your eye-socket to salvage the makeup you’d need for the rest of the day.

After managing to coax you somewhat put together out of the train and into the station, Joshua found the chauffer that was going to take you to the hotel you would be staying at as well as where the conference was going to be held. With bags in hand, he walked you out to the car and sat you in it to help the chauffer with the bags. Once he plopped into the car next to you, he began fixing your slightly disheveled hair. You looked at him with sleepy eyes, watching him intently move your curls this way and that, rearranging some pieces that had fallen out of your bun and wiped away some misplaced makeup.

“How do I look?” you teased when he was done.

“Way better than you did,” he laughed in response and took your hand as he knew it was aching for his. “I’m just glad you slept and that your anxiety is mostly gone.”

With that simple statement, suddenly the anxiety was back. You hadn’t made it through the day just yet and while the conference didn’t start until tomorrow, you undoubtedly would have a run-in with the man you refused to name before the night was over. Joshua could feel that realization in the way you squeezed his hand as you rolled up to the entrance of the hotel. You couldn’t even remember lugging your bag out of the back of the car yourself, but you were pretty sure you did. The handle of your suitcase resided in your one hand while the other held onto Joshua’s as he helped you across the cobblestone and onto the tile of the hotel floor. He watched you, walking as gracefully as you ever did despite the discomfort of those contorted heels, and followed your lead up to the check in counter to check in both you and Joshua.

“7002 for you, and 7012 for Mr. Hong.” The concierge handed you two room pamphlets which contained your keys and you handed Joshua’s to him; at least the two of you were on the same floor despite the late booking.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Miss CEO herself.”

Your skin crawled at just the sound of his voice and Joshua was quick to put a protective hand across your back as you turned slowly to meet the deep russet eyes of the man you loathed to see. For a moment, he was sizing Joshua up, staring at your escort who looked like he’d just come out of an Esquire magazine. He wore the finest suits as a man of his status could, donning a Dolce and Gabbana burgundy suit with an embellished black shirt – a suit only Joshua Hong could wear. CEO Yoon’s Givenchy pinstripe suit was up to snuff, the vest a nice touch with a dazzling tie chain finished with his company’s emblem.  

Joshua’s hand was searing on your lower back, but it paled in comparison to the fire in your eyes as you stared at your most hated enemy, shuffling slightly back into Joshua’s protective grip as if to give Jeonghan the message to back off right away.

“You’re looking a little rough, not sleeping well?” he commented.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you dare—”

“Just dreading the day I have to see your face again; it takes more years off my life than any lack of sleep ever could,” you shot back, interrupting Joshua who had fully turned to defend you, but you could take care of yourself when it came to Yoon Jeonghan, the rival CEO and attempted betrothed in a failed attempt by none other than each your separate parents.  

It must have been a pretty good retort because you could visibly see Jeonghan reel back. In the back of your mind you could hear Joshua whispering in your ear to just start heading upstairs, but the daggers you were shooting Jeonghan were relentless as he stumbled, looking for a reply. When his whispers weren’t getting to you, there was a coaxing touch against your hip, trying to usher you along that only worked when Jeonghan couldn’t formulate a good reply and dismissed himself.  

“You are absolutely searing towards that man,” Joshua commented, ushering you towards the elevator to press the shiny round button to take you up.

“I hate him,” you reminded Joshua, shaking your head as you looked at the polished chrome elevator doors until the signaling ding filled your ears. Your hand tightened on your suitcase handle as the empty carriage opened, and Joshua directed you in first.

You didn’t need to explain, Joshua knew the background between you and Jeonghan. You’d known him since you were a child, implications of your future marriage flying through the air as casual conversation to unite the companies to build one mega-empire. As the two of you got older, Jeonghan got cockier and you knew, once you took the reins of the empire, that Jeonghan was bad news for your father’s work. You avidly refused the proposal the moment you knew what its purpose was. Jeonghan got snide with you, treated you like a child, kicked dirt on your shoes like a five year old and you hated him ever since—relations never got better, even as you grew older and got more comfortable with the company.

“It’s still early; do you want to go out before retiring for the night?” Joshua asked, his room the first off the elevator and stuck his keycard in to pop the door, shoved his rolling suitcase in, and let it slam back closed as he followed you down the hall to your room. You had the end suite, a large room with some semblance of a living room, as it was separated from the bedroom.  

You sighed, popping the door as you dragged your suitcase in, Joshua inviting himself in behind you—the invitation wasn’t necessary, he was always welcome.

“Cheer up, buttercup. Barbeque always makes you happy,” he offered, reaching out to pinch your pouting cheek.

“Are you bribing me, Joshua Hong?”

“I just hate to see that frown when your smile is so much more dazzling,” he teased, but was still serious. Yours and Joshua’s relationship would have looked romantic to anyone who didn’t know you personally. But the platonic love you shared was unrivaled.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” you asked him, stepping towards him to fall into his anticipatory arms. He chuckled that chuckle, the one that made you laugh, too, and pulled you close.

“Every day; now, let’s go.”

Joshua was right; barbeque did always make you happy. He adored the smile on your face as you ate, forgetting about Jeonghan and this stupid conference for the better part of two hours. It was the least he could do, enough to have you relax a little. He spent a little time in your room to keep Jeonghan off your mind as much as possible until you were falling asleep on him. He bid you goodnight and headed back to his room just to meet the aforementioned in the hallway.

“The princess’ right hand man. Hong, is it?”

“Are you always such a condescending prick to everyone you talk to?” Joshua fired back, reaching into his pocket for his keycard. “I can see why she hates you so much.”

“You must get your seething comebacks from her, with a piss poor attitude to match.”

“I suppose you’d know all about piss poor attitudes, you are the reigning king after all. If you’re going to treat people like shit, expect to be treated the same.”

Joshua disappeared behind his door, leaving Jeonghan to scoff in the hallway.  He seemed to be just as ready for this conference to be over as you were, turning to shove his key into the slot and retire for the night. Meanwhile, you had climbed into bed—the sheets were scratchy, it was hot, and none of it was anyone’s fault except yours because in reality you were too upset about the whole conference to even be sure of the condition of your room. The point was that you couldn’t sleep.  

You tossed in bed for what seemed like an eternity, checking the clock every twenty five minutes before you’d finally had enough. The coffee shop in the lobby was open twenty-four, seven, and maybe a nice hot London Fog would put you to sleep. So, without hesitation, you pulled a light cardigan over your pajama set and slipped into your slippers, grabbed some cash and shuffled out of your room. The lobby was basically empty, you noted as the carriage doors opened, but made your way to the shop anyway.

With sleepy eyes you sat at one of the tall tables—even those were conference style—and held your tea with both of your hands, letting it warm your skin through the thick paper cup. After thinking about taking it up to your room, maybe you’d be better off spending a little bit of time up and about to settle your nerves.

“You must never sleep.”

His voice slithered into your ears and down your spine like thick winter maple sap. You couldn’t contain the goosebumps that rose on the back of your neck, especially since he seemed to be so close. It was confirmed when the stool to your left screeched as he pulled it back and plopped into it to sit next to you.

It was weird seeing him in a loose v-neck and baggy sweats, a far cry from the nice expensive pressed suits he donned whenever you saw him, but you were sure that you were much the same to him. He looked tired, a hint of dark circles under his eyes and you were sure you would have looked in equally as bad shape if you didn’t check yourself in the mirror before leaving. Your hair was tied up nicely, still; tidy remnants of makeup made you look like one of those girls in the movies who woke up looking flawless next to the man they had a one-night stand with.  Was it just you, or was Jeonghan actually attempting to be pleasant? And that’s only said because he didn’t end his opening statement with something sassy as he normally did.

“I certainly don’t sleep as much as I like,” you replied shortly and took a sip of your tea. Jeonghan had a cup as well; turning it between his palms—was he nervous? There was seldom a situation he caught you one on one, much less in such a vulnerable situation such as in a hotel lobby in your pajamas grabbing midnight or later tea.  “And what about you?”

His gaze was cast down towards the table. He didn’t appear to want to reply but with a soft inhale and the subtle moistening of his lips, he did, reluctantly.

“I’m nervous about this conference.”

“Yoon Jeonghan? Nervous? I must be dreaming,” you retorted sarcastically. It was a reflex at this point, you only ever approached or spoke to Jeonghan with venom and it was suspicious that he was openly divulging this information to you.

“Look, I’m not proud about it, okay? I’ve always hated these conferences. It just reminds me of how much better you are than me.”

Your head must have been spinning by this point. Were these words even actually coming out of Jeonghan’s mouth? Were you asleep and dreaming in your bed? That must have been the case because this was so unlike the Jeonghan you’d known for years—he would never openly admit defeat so nonchalantly.

A scoff fell from your lips, and you were sure your face contorted unpleasantly as you looked up at him. He was looking at you, tongue teasing his lips until he scoffed and looked away from you, too. It didn’t take long for you to realize that you were staring at his mouth, that perfect mouth that seemed to captivate your attention every single time he talked. He ran a hand through his brunet hair to pull it away from his face, allowing you to see the details of his profile and you desperately wished he hadn’t.  You stifled a hiss, fingers clenching around your half-empty tea.

“I hate you,” he uttered, but it didn’t catch you by surprise.

“Good thing the feeling is mutual then,” you replied naturally.

What came next you could have never foreseen if you had lived a thousand lifetimes over. Jeonghan turned his face to you so quickly it almost made your head spin. His breath was warm on your cheeks, his nose tentative against your own, fingers gingerly on your jaw as he tilted your head for his supple lips to meet yours for a chaste kiss. Your eyes fell closed immediately, but your hand found his shoulder, torn between pushing him away or slipping up to the indulgent tresses on the back of his neck.

“I hate you so much, but I want you just as badly,” he muttered against your mouth, his lips hardly parting enough from your own to form that audible sentence before his mouth slanted back over yours. That simple phrase had you shivering, and pushing that hand up to the back of his neck to caress it as his velvet tongue slipped against your own. The kiss was fervent, and somewhere in the back of your mind you begged to come to your senses; but Jeonghan’s hair was so silky between your fingers, his touch so welcoming against your jaw, and his mouth… his mouth was a sea breeze against your face, the taste of ice cold tea on a hot summer day, the smell of rain on scorching pavement—delightful.

With your sense of stability fleeing, your fingers clutched at his hair in search for some grounding while your other hand reached out to grab his cotton v-neck. His soft sigh into your mouth sent a tingle through your entire body, sparks flying everywhere; it was as if this was liberating, incredibly desired, and perhaps a long time coming.

“J-Jeonghan,” you whispered, his lips moving down your neck with the departure of your own. If you thought that mouth was skilled against your own, it had the fluttering in your stomach almost uncontainable against your skin, searching for your most sensitive spots. The best tell was the way you tugged at the back of his head; his lips retracted to pull over his teeth and grace you with a chuckle that had your skin crawling.  

“Do you like it?” he asked, his voice low and muffled by contact with your skin as your head lulled back to offer him more real estate.

“I hate you,” you breathed, slipping out of your stool to stand in closer proximity, both of your hands running through his hair.

“Tell me that when I take you upstairs and put you into your bed,” he growled quietly, trying to keep his voice down because even though there were no patrons, there was still a barista perhaps in earshot. Your jaw fell open despite no noise squeaking passed your lips, your hips pushed forward, between his spread legs and he had to take your hips to catch you. His thumbs dug deep into the divots of your hips, rubbing incessant circles beyond the waistband of your pajama bottoms, his thumbs hot against your skin.  

The way your tongue and teeth entertained your lips as you tried to keep quiet was hardly in your control but you finally managed to look down at him. His eyes were hazy and half-lidded, akin to your own, begging for your mouth to be on his again. Wanton—that was the only way you could describe the swipe of his tongue behind his parted teeth as he stared at your mouth. It was a form of silent begging that spoke to you in a way no words possible could, so you didn’t hesitate to lean down to him, cupping his jaw to tilt his head back. His eager tongue met yours before your mouth slanted back over his and he stretched up on the stool, a little taller to get as much as he could, steadying himself with your hips that he held in a firm grip despite your squirming.

There were too many conflicting emotions bubbling inside of you. On the one hand, you did hate him what felt like more than life itself, but on the other hand, you craved him like a fish out of water. The way he made you feel was indescribable, in this moment. You needed him, it was that desperate, but that didn’t stop you from expressing the initial feelings of hatred.

“Fuck you, Jeonghan,” you growled, able to break the kiss to get that out. The venom behind it was weak, despite your intentions.

“Please,” he almost begged, “I’m dying to take all of this off and ravish this body with love-bites.”

The way he spoke to you made you putty in his hands. He had a way that made you visualize exactly the things he spoke about, like watching his mouth leave those marks all over your skin as he pinned you underneath him—it almost had your eyes rolling back. You were so frustrated; all you could do was kiss him deep, swallowing his soft moan as he stood from his chair to tower over you and break the kiss to lean over to your ear.

“We still have to make it passed the front desk,” he reminded you, just about shoving your half-empty tea into your hand as he grabbed his coffee and took your hip to guide you towards the elevator, taking special precaution to have you on the desk side to hide a peculiar lump in his sweatpants, despite his shirt mostly covering it. Once making it into the elevator, Jeonghan almost sneered at the security camera perched in the corner of the carriage, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to woo you, even if it was mostly discreetly.  

Behind you, he craned over your shoulder to place sweet, but still ardent, kisses against your neck. Although they were soft, they didn’t lack the passion. You stepped back into his chest, leaning against him, almost fumbling with your tea as your head tilted back to rest against his shoulder, soft sighs in his ear eliciting a gentle buck of his hips.

“I love the way you squirm with my mouth on your neck,” he growled to you, the elevator continuing to chime as it ascended floor after floor after floor. It almost sounded like a challenge, as you took it, and turned around to push him against the wall of the carriage with your free hand. Despite his labored breathing, his gaze shifted from yours to your hand planted deep into his chest and back to your eyes.  

“You’re going to look so gorgeous, a torn up, fucked out mess underneath me.”

Betrayal, the way your mouth watered with Jeonghan’s threat.

“You better fuck as well as you kiss, then,” you shot back.

“My kisses get you hot, baby?” Jeonghan asked with a teasing smirk, a confident tilt of his head despite the fact that you were still pinning him against the elevator wall. You absolutely hated the way that pet-name made you feel, particularly out of his mouth.  If it wasn’t for the blasted security camera hidden in the corner of the elevator, you’d be pushing your hands up his shirt, spreading them against the silky skin that resided underneath. Your one hand was clawing at your tea, his clawing at his coffee as he looked down at you, almost challenging you to do something. The way his eyes hid behind his brunet fringe just added to the thrill of the whole thing, but had your blood pumping hard when it tilted up to draw in a breath.

Your fingers curled into the cotton of his shirt, pulling at it with the way his gaze shifted sultry, peering at you through half-lidded eyes, his strong jawline aching for your mouth to be against it. The arrival of the elevator couldn’t have come soon enough as the polished chrome doors parted to let the two of you out. Jeonghan walked you backwards, preventing your stumbling with a guiding hand that grabbed your hip at first before sliding low across your back and over the curve of your rear. A soft purr in your ear muddied your senses as your back hit your room door, sliding up against it with the coaxing press of his body into yours.

His mouth begged for yours, but he wasn’t going to risk the possibility of Joshua getting a wild hair and coming out of his room to catch the two of you. You submitted your keycard without question, allowing Jeonghan to slide it into the door. The sound of the lock clicking elicited a sigh of relief as the door fell out from behind you. Jeonghan’s warm velvet tongue was in your mouth again before the door even had time to close, both beverages discarded on the table just inside the doorway, the same table he was trying to lift you on to, and your cardigan to the floor.

Soft suctioning, heavy breathing, fingers tearing at articles of clothing as the two of you tried to get enough of each other, filled the air of your suite. Finally having the freedom to do as they wished, your hands pushed passed the hem of Jeonghan’s shirt to spread your palms flat against the curve of his chest. Grasping at your legs, he sighed into your mouth; your skin was ice cold against his. When he decided the table wasn’t working out for him, he turned you and walked you backwards into the living space, pushing you over the arm of the sofa to have you tumbling down.

The smooth leather was cold even on your own skin. Jeonghan stood over you, panting, looking at you like his next meal and took it upon himself to tug his shirt over his head, letting it flutter to the floor and his hair flutter back over his eyes. If your gaze wasn’t begging him to come back to you, you’d have been betrayed, but he wouldn’t come. He stood between your slightly parted legs, rubbing his hands over your pajama clad thighs as he admired you.

“You’re frustrating me,” you pointed out, getting annoyed with the way he just stood there and observed you.

“You’ve frustrated me since I came of age,” he replied; no further explanation was needed but that didn’t stop the needy whine that escaped your lips, watching his jaw betray him as it fell open with the way your legs clenched around his. If he was just going to stand there and look at you for a moment, you were going to do the same. You adored the way his chest expanded and contracted with every heavy breath he took, a direct result of you. Somewhere deep down, it stroked your ego to have him a mess just the same.

“I want to tear you up,” Jeonghan growled, an involuntary shiver ripping through your body. “But at the same time,” he started, leaning over to slip a hand under the hem of your shirt and tease your quivering abdomen, “I want to take such sweet care of you.”

The shivers that shot through you were inevitable as you lay there on the couch, your eyes rolling back, head pushing into the cushions as you relished the feel of Jeonghan’s tender touch against your sternum, doing your absolute best to not grab it through your shirt. Either way that Jeonghan wanted to have you, at this point, was just as well as any other way.

“Jeonghan, please,” you whispered, your hips restless against the couch, legs fussing over the armrest.

“What, baby,” he uttered back, leaning over the arm of the couch, only able to get far enough as to place a strained kiss against the hollow of your throat. “Do you want me to take it all off? To cover every inch of your skin with my mouth?”

Half of your fingers were clawing at the leather upholstery of the couch, the other hand slipped to his shoulder. He prompted for you to grab on; your arms wrapped around his neck as he took your legs in his strong hands and lifted you against his hot naked torso.

“Kiss me,” you begged as he began meandering towards the bedroom.

Jeonghan wasn’t one to ignore you when you were pleading for him like this. His warm mouth slanted back over yours, his tongue a sugary treat against yours as your eyes rolled closed, fingers threading through his hair. The noises coming from him that drowned in the kiss were nothing short of delicious as your free hand scraped at his skin. His hands, having dropped your legs, were all over your smooth back under your shirt, tracing between your shoulder blades and all the way down to the hem of your bottoms but not without touching over the lacy back of your bra.

Impatience turned passionate kisses into chaste ones as his mouth trailed away from yours, kissing at your jaw, nipping periodically and continued to trail down your skin. The more he kissed at your skin, the more you were becoming hyper aware of him. The vague feeling of his hardened manhood against your hipbone had your mouth watering at just the thought of him. While his leg was so conveniently placed between yours, giving you at least a little friction, you took the opportunity to push your hips forward and rub against his throbbing appendage.

His moan against your neck was like the sear of a hot pan in result of your movement. Another roll of your hips elicited a hiss followed by a rougher nip against your skin where he had previously suctioned, just beyond the collar of your pajama shirt to mark you. His fingers were furling at your hips, tugging you into him for some more sweet friction and you wanted to get a tiny bit more teasing in before he lost himself, and you as well.

“Is that all for me, Jeonghan?” you asked in a tone that made his skin crawl. He hissed, formulating his reply.

“Every inch, baby. You drive me positively wild,” he growled through gritted teeth as he tilted his head back up to press a searing kiss against your neck, just under your ear. Meanwhile, his fingers occupied themselves with the buttons of your shirt, slipping them open one by one until it dangled open in the front. Finally able to control himself for a moment, he pulled back to look, almost wishing he hadn’t.

The way that sexy black lace laid against your skin was an absolute masterpiece. Jeonghan, in a desperate attempt to cool himself off for a moment, raked his hair back as he looked you over, his tongue dancing behind his teeth. His eyes met yours, noting the soft blush against your cheeks. Seldom did a boy see you like this; never would you have thought it would be Jeonghan. That gaze asked you a question, and you replied with a simple nod. His hands softly pushed the cotton off your shoulders, letting the sleeves slip down your arms and off your hands to land on the floor.

“Not even in my dreams were you so gorgeous,” he uttered to you, chastely kissing your lips, your jaw, your neck as he slipped to his knees in front of you, igniting the blush on your face. “I always knew you were beautiful, but you are beyond the visions of my desires.”  

You would have replied, in fact you had a reply queued in your throat, but all it came out as was a soft sigh as his mouth ghosted over the plush skin of your abdomen. You could feel the way his teeth pulled, the way his tongue flicked, marking you. One of your hands remained threaded in his hair, tugging it as he tugged your skin, your head dropping back for your hazy gaze to stare at the ceiling. Jeonghan was all you knew—he was your thoughts and your five senses. The only name you could remember was his as your mind continued to cloud. So, that was all you whispered.

“Jeon-Jeonghan,” you stuttered in your labored breathing.

“I wanted to totally defile you,” he began, fingers slipping into the stretchy hem of your bottoms. “But I somehow have the mind to think that the repercussions would be much better off if I just made tender love to you.”

Somehow he knew just what to say to have your heart fluttering in a way you didn’t think possible concerning Jeonghan. The fluttering between your legs, deep in your abdomen was inevitable; the fluttering upstairs was something drastically different. His rickety moan was the only thing that brought you back to earth as he tugged your bottoms off, teeth toying with the hem of your lacy underwear.  When he peered up at you, you thought your legs were going to give out from underneath you. Barely with the mind to devise a plan you puckered your lips, silently begging for a kiss that he granted.

Your right hand turned over and you swallowed the moan he so generously fed you as you cupped your hand over his erection. The thin material of his pants did nothing to aid his girth in your hand. An intimidated whine slipped passed your lips, muffled against his. He was so much bigger than you could have imagined. Granted, you were inclined to think he was tiny—anything to emasculate him in your mind was the route you were going to go. It didn’t help his case that the only time you saw him was while he was dressed nicely, suit pants doing their job.

“Are you gonna take me, or are you gonna tease me?” he uttered, pushing his hips forwards and tighter into your hand.  It was for him to decide, really. Even still, you cupped him a little harder and pumped him one more time before he had your hips and all but tossed you onto your bed. He looked from you, those dark eyes staring through your soul, and downward to his sweats where he tugged the drawstring.

Jeonghan’s tongue danced behind his teeth, fingers pulling at the drawstrings slowly, too slowly. The knot tugged open and brought his eyes back to you. He bit his bottom lip, sliding his thumb around the band of his pants to loosen them enough to push them off his hips, dropping to pool around his ankles. He watched you, watched the way your eyes drank him in as he tried to stave off the blush that was forming on his cheeks. There was something incredibly vulnerable about this situation—never a million years did either of you think you’d be undressing in front of the other.  His skin crawled as he watched you remove your bottoms, too, tossing them onto the floor with his. You shifted to your knees to walk towards the edge of the bed where he happily met you. His eyes were trained on your underwear, lacey little things that probably wouldn’t survive the softest tug, but he couldn’t help to run his thumb against the somewhat rough material, fingers trailing across your abdomen, around your hips and thighs.

His soft hiss echoed into your ears, causing your eyes to flutter closed as he admired your body. Tentative, still, were his fingers as they brushed across your skin, trying to find his confidence again through all the vulnerability. Jeonghan wasn’t one who enjoyed being vulnerable, even like this with you. While fingertips traced the underwire of your lingerie, yours were anywhere you could get on him—on his shoulder, on the back of his neck, on his bicep, on his jaw; your hands were restless against him as your head lulled back, eyes fluttered closed.

The sound muted by the strangulation of your throat still had Jeonghan moaning in reply as his hand covered your womanhood over your underwear. You were well aware what a dripping mess you were already, positively desperate for him between your legs.

“Fuck, baby,” he uttered, pushing his middle finger up to rub hard into your panties. You simultaneously loved and hated the way he called you baby, poison dripping off his lips that hooked you like a fish on line. “Is this all for me?” he teased, repeating what you’d said earlier.

You were intent on stroking his ego a bit, something you were normally entirely against. “There’s not a man on this earth who works me up like you,” you whispered, catching his lips in a sweet kiss as your legs parted a little more for him. He groaned against your mouth, brow drawing together as his eager fingers slipped down the front of your underwear to touch against your burning and slick center.  

Even the gentlest of touches had you practically doubling over, abdomen quivering while your hands entertained his shoulders. His name dripped off your lips as your head fell forward, his slender fingers slowly working you back and forth. Your legs were weak, practically quaking underneath you as they held you up in front of him.

“Sh-Shit, Jeonghan,” you cursed quietly, nails clawing at his tender skin. As if the situation couldn’t get any steamier, Jeonghan’s hand retreated from your underwear and, after chastely kissing you, wrapped his lovely lips around his middle finger to lick it clean with a sigh. Without another word, he coaxed you off the edge of the bed with your arms wrapped around his neck. His slender fingers worked into the band of your underwear, pushing the elastic off, but not without copping a feel—his large hands, in the midst of pushing your lacey underwear down, curved against your rear.

With your bottom half completely naked, you stood against Jeonghan. His hands had reeled you in tight enough that your warm abdomen touched against his and along with it came a hard reminder of what you were in store for as he pressed into you.

“You’re turn,” you whispered. He met you with a smirk and a dark chuckle before helping you with his underwear. Slowly, he aided the band over his most sensitive parts and it was up to you to drag them down the rest of the length of his long legs.

His breath hitched for a moment. Your cool hand gathered him against your abdomen, stroking over the top of him as you looked at him. Softly, and almost unnoticeably, you nodded your head with that sultry gaze. He couldn’t help but nod with you, reassuring you that it felt incredible, while his hot breath expelled against your face. His pleasured sounds were merely hums, especially as his lips entertained yours. At first, they began as barely even grazes together, slowly evolving into deep open mouthed kisses.  Your approving hums mixed with his as his fingers tugged at the clasp of your bra, eventually freeing it to discard it with the rest of your clothes littered about the floor. His hands were urgent on your skin, touching every little piece he could get to before he was backing you into the mattress again.

The comforter was cool against your heated skin as he helped you onto the bed, but he didn’t follow. Instead he stood back to admire you, one hand running through his hair while his other teased his attentive manhood. You had to glance to see the way he stood proudly, absolutely ready for you.

Jeonghan was good on his word about littering your skin with love-bites. He started with your legs, leaving light marks along with a plethora of kisses against your supple skin as he worked his way up. He mostly was intent on marking your upper half, so that’s where he started. A few dark marks formed against your ribcage as he caressed it with his hands, slowly making his way onto the bed to get higher, a couple more against your chest—anywhere he thought a low-cut shirt would cover—and then worked at your collarbones. Your fingers carded through his hair, your quiet sighs just about at his ear drove him wild.

“Jeonghan, baby, please,” you begged, trying to appease him with the pet-name, definitely not the first time that night. “I need you.”

“Trust me, darling, I need you, too,” he breathed against your collar, having just left a dark mark against the far reach where it connected to your shoulder. “It almost hurts, how much I need you,” he whispered against your neck, placing a couple of kisses there.

“Please don’t make me wait any longer,” you replied, desperate. You took a fistful of his honey-brown hair to guide his face back to yours and teased his lips with a soft kiss.

His smirk returned with a hint of a genuine smile, biting at his bottom lip. He brushed some of your hair away from your hazy eyes, eyes that matched his. He was panting, but so were you as you lay underneath him, his knees between your parted legs that he slowly spread to slip your legs up onto his hips. With one more kiss, he leaned back and sat up on his knees to admire you.

“Make sweet, tender love to you?” he asked.

“Something has to be gentle about our relationship,” you replied, causing him to take one of your hands in response to bring it up to his lips and kiss the back of your fingers, a glimmer of actual affection sparkled in his eyes. He spent some time kissing the back of your hand, a far cry difference from the way you treated each other publicly, while his other thumb massaged the divot of your hip. He smiled, actually smiled, into your skin before dropping your hand and stretched far over you, to the drawer in the bedside table for a rubber, so generously supplied by the hotel.

He reeled back, but you were insistent about putting it on him. You sat up to the best of your ability, your legs hooked on his hips aiding you a little bit as you looked up at him, skillfully rolling it down his manhood and with a quiet hiss, tucking your hair back, he watched your hands. Jeonghan leaned over you, leading your back onto the mattress. Your breath hitched, the feeling of Jeonghan’s poised erection prodded at your entrance, but your eyes never left his. He shoveled his free hand under the small of your back, angling your hips for him.

Slowly, gently, watching every single expression on your face and in your eyes, Jeonghan pushed in with a soft moan. The slight discomfort drew your brows together, but he took your hand searching for his and laced his fingers between yours.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“You’re big,” you almost whined, eyes rolling closed as you shifted your hips.

He couldn’t help but chuckle, flattered really. “We’ll take it slow,” he reassured you.

And take it slow, you did. He wiggled his hips, trying to stretch you out, letting you squeeze his hand as you got used to him. Your knees clenched around his hips with every one of his movements and the pleasure started to grow—he could tell by the way the tension faded from your face and your sounds were more harmonious and less rough. You loved the way he watched you with those half-lidded eyes, the way he pulled you into his gentle movements with the arm cinched around your hips, all the quiet half-growls he fed you.

His motion turned into steady rolls, as if his hips were attached to a wheel, the rhythm was perfectly timed. He loved the way your legs squeezed around him, the way you met his motions, the hazy look on your face and how breathless you were. He leaned over, planting a hand into the mattress to your side to pick up the speed a little bit.

“Ha-Han…” you squeaked, followed by a moan as your right hand reached out to brace against his shoulder.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice breaking as his brow knitted together, “is it good, baby?” He was breathless, the way he spoke to you, his chest heaving despite the temperate pace.

“God, Jeonghan,” you whined, “it’s so good.”

He dug both arms underneath you, clutching his hands over your shoulders as he eclipsed your body with his. Your arms wound around him, clawing at his shoulders just the same as his hot breath teased the perspiration on your neck. His knees bowed out, opening your legs a little more to dig deeper.

“Oh, my god,” you breathed into the stale air above. Your eyes were rolling back, gentle panting littered with sighs and mewls for him before your teeth clasped around the lean muscle covering his shoulder. He growled into your neck, the perspiration on both of your bodies making you slick against each other, and reeled back to place a passionate kiss against your mouth to swallow your pleasured pleas.

Just the soft suctioning of kisses, breathless panting and pleasured sighs, and the shuffling of the comforter underneath you filled your hotel room. He kissed away from your mouth and against both of your flushed cheeks, across your jaw and back down to your neck. Your fingers were raking at his naked back leaving shallow welts on his once immaculate skin until he pulled back.

Both of his hands were planted firmly on either side of you, his hips finding a new pace to buck into you. His hips gently slapped against yours, his head dropping to shield his face with his hair before he was cupping your jaw in his palm. He looked into your eyes, trying to find the right words to ask you, but you could guess what he wanted to say.

“Give it to me; I know part of you still wants to tear me up,” you told him.

“I’ll ease into it. I still want to take care of you,” he replied, kissing against your lips with the pause of his hips. He placed one of your hands back against his shoulder. “Push me off if you can’t take it.”

You nodded, his hands sinking back into the mattress and you bit your lip in anticipation. He started off slow, as he promised, but it didn’t take long to pick up. Your nerves were on fire, and you were sure he wasn’t peaking yet. His shuttered groans turned you completely on, the deep rasp hitting your core. One of his hands had to take your hip to hold you still from sliding around too much. It burned, you couldn’t deny it. His pace was ragged, almost out of control as he took you the way he wanted—rough and fast. You were almost too breathless to make a noise, but you were definitely arching into his body until a wanton, husky moan ripped from your lips, tapering off as a squeal.

“Yeah, baby; let me hear you,” he panted, his hips crushing into yours. Your head was spinning, eyes closed tight as you were reaching your end, but you hadn’t had enough. With your hand still against his shoulder, your fingers curled over it to hold on, nails digging into tender flesh. You were just about crying his name, some as full-fledged whines, and others as barely trickling whispers. Your lungs almost couldn’t support the sheer quantity of pleasured noises you were feeding him. The bedframe was bolted to the wall, so there was no possibility for noise there but you were sure it would be beating against the wall if given the chance. Jeonghan was working you hard, sweat dripping down the sides of his face and down his neck. His chest glimmered with sheen of its own.

Suddenly, he stopped. Hips completely halted, giving you a break to catch your breath. Both of you were panting hard. He chuckled, that dark chuckle that could get you off just by itself, lips darting out to wet his lips as he looked down at you.

“You feel so fucking good, almost too good,” he praised with a raspy lilt on his words that had you shivering. You didn’t have a good reply, just reached up to prompt him to duck his head enough for you to push his sweaty hair away from his face. Even half-lidded and panting, you wiped the sweat away from his brow and philtrum before wrapping your hand around the back of his neck to draw him down to place a few needy kisses against his lips.  

His hips were moving again when he pulled away, back to the same sensual love he was making to you before, but that didn’t stop him from digging both arms underneath you to hoist you up and plop you into the lap of his crossed legs. The new angle elicited a luscious moan from you, which he kissed off your lips. The new position was much more intimate, allowing both of you to wrap your arms around the other. His rolling hips had you slowly coming undone; he could feel it in your kisses, a little more urgent.

You nipped at his lips; the friction of your sweet little button against his pelvis had your breathing ragged. Barely able to kiss him anymore, you pressed your forehead against his, rocking on his lap with your arms around his neck, draping over his shoulders.

“Are you going to come for me, baby? Tell me you’re going to come for me,” he pleaded; that much closer to his own end, too. You could feel it, the bubbling in your abdomen, the tightening, clenching around him.  

“H-Ha-Han…” You could barely breathe, much less reply, so it was a choppy response of just his name.

“Come on, darling,” he encouraged, leaning back a bit to pull you higher on his lap, increasing the friction tenfold. “I’m gonna come for you, baby girl.”

“R-right there!” you squealed, brow drawing together as your face flushed deeper. He could feel you constrict, getting impossibly tighter around him as he encouraged you. Your unified pleasure pushed you over the edge, chasing your peak with a moan that drowned his out as your head lolled back, panting into the sex-stained air. You could feel Jeonghan pulsing against your tight walls, shuttering a moan into your neck as he buried his face there, chasing his high, too. Choppy mewls flooded Jeonghan’s ears as he slowed to a halt, both of you panting and sweaty messes tangled up with each other. You were cradling his head against you, chin resting atop his head as you came back down from cloud nine.

You couldn’t even hold yourself up anymore, so Jeonghan’s shaky hands let you fall gracefully from his lap and back onto the bed, effectively tugging him out of you. You quivered on the bed as Jeonghan trashed the condom, not moving from his spot since the trash was right under the drawer he retrieved it from. He gave you a moment, and himself a moment before he was lifting you to tug the covers out from underneath you. You were protesting the movement, but he promised it would be just a moment as he settled into your bed, straddling you across him to lie against his chest.

Jeonghan found comfort in your warm breath against his neck as he stroked through your hair, eyes getting heavy with sleep, but he wasn’t about to fall asleep on you, not just yet. With gentle fingers, he coaxed your chin up when you had enough strength to look at him for a moment. He looked between your eyes with so much to say, but those eyes fluttered closed when his lips met yours.

“Deep down, I bet you’re a great lover,” he whispered against your mouth, silencing your reply when his tongue found yours to reignite the fire deep within.

“Deep down,” you replied finally, pushing a hand against his shoulder, “the woman you love is going to be so lucky.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“I mean, I know somewhere in here…” You pushed a hand against his chest over his heart, “…Your capacity to be a great lover is going to make someone so happy. Because if you can make love to me like this…”

“Do you even hear yourself? Do you even hear me?” he asked.

“What are you on about, Jeonghan?” you asked, tenderly pushing his honey hair away from his eyes.

“Do you want to know why I tease you so much?”

“If you want to call it teasing,” you replied. Something in you couldn’t get enough of his kisses, so you pressed your lips to his again and again; adoring the way he hummed into your mouth before you finally gave him enough time to reply.

“I’m jealous. You were always so much smarter than me, so much more creative and clever and determined and successful than me. My parents were so disappointed that you didn’t want to merge the companies, and that disappointment landed on me. It took a long time to grapple with, but when I finally figured out why I hated you so much… it wasn’t about you anymore; it was about me. I’m nervous about this conference because I’ve seen your numbers and… in the small number of years it’s been since the company was handed to you, the progress you’ve made in expansion is envious by any business—”

“Yoon Jeonghan…” you uttered somberly, interrupting him because you knew he was rambling and while some of that was what he wanted to say, he was getting off track.

With a heavy sigh, and after tucking your hair behind your ears, he replied. “You don’t make love to someone you don’t love.”

His statement confused you for a moment, and then it hit you—the realization on your face prompted him to speak again.

“I don’t hate you because you’re better than me. I don’t hate you because the merge was a bust. I hate you because I love you, and I can’t have you. I hate you because that’s the only way I can cope with it. I can’t even explain to you the… heartbreak I had watching the way Hong touched you, the way he held you… I would kill for that to be me. I don’t want your business, I don’t want a merge; I want your hand, I want you by my side. Deep, deep down… I want your love.”

It was a lot to take in. You didn’t want to lay there and look at him like he had ten heads, so you shifted off him and got up from the bed. If he felt heartbreak before, he really felt it now as he slumped, defeated, into your mattress and gave himself a moment to find the will to get up and leave. You were gathering clothes off the floor; that much he could hear.

He felt embarrassed now, being naked in your presence and scrounged quickly for his underwear first. You’d gone off into the other room and—where was his blasted shirt? You shoved a water bottle in front of him as he sat on the edge of your bed, sweats in his hand. His gaze followed your hand up to your face, and then your body where his v-neck clung to your torso, dangling over your hips.

“You’re going to make me fall in love with you and then you’re going to leave?” you questioned. The way he was sitting was aching to leave, his body language wasn’t hard to read—never had been.

“You’re going to roll out of bed after my confession without saying a word and make me feel so utterly rejected and defeated, just to come back to me donned in my shirt to say that shit to me?” he questioned in return, the same fire in his voice that usually had been with you. He was so heated, he even stood up which forced you back a couple of steps.

“I spent my whole life of knowing you thinking all you wanted was my business, and for that I hated you. But deep down, I’ve always just wanted you.”

Jeonghan had cast his sweats and water aside, ready to go to battle with you the same way the two of you had for years. “Maybe you should have heard me out all those times before it even got to this point—”

Your arms wrapped around his neck, up on your toes for him to take his lips in a kiss that felt dissimilar to the others. It took him a moment to melt into it, to settle his hands on your hips, and when they did you pulled away.

“You don’t even listen,” you breathed to him. “The first thing I say to you is you’re going to make me fall in love with you, and you’re ready to go off to war,” you replied with a giggle. “I confess to you in return, and you still just want to fight.”

His gaze on you softened as he replayed the scenario in his head.

“You just got up and left, what was I supposed to think after spilling my heart to you?”

You shook your head, cupping over his hands that were still possessive on your hips, not about to let you go, and kissed against his lips a couple more times until he was relaxed against you. He plopped back down on the edge of the bed, enough for you to crawl into his lap again. You straddled his lap, guiding the kiss as you cupped his jaw.

“I love you,” he uttered against your mouth. “I love you so much, and finally being able to get that all out—”

“Jeonghan,” you interrupted, caressing his jaw as you looked down into his eyes.  

“Let me be your lover,” he pleaded, innocently kissing your lips.

“There’s going to be a lot of very shocked people at the conference tomorrow,” you reminded him, but it didn’t stop his incessant kisses.

“Maybe it would be easier to keep it a secret until we get back,” he suggested. “But until tomorrow, you’re mine in this bed.”

The giggle that fell from your lips melted Jeonghan’s heart as he turned you, hand fully engulfing your hips to spin you around and chase you back up the length of the bed until you were tangling in the sheets again. Jeonghan slipped between your legs, his body just barely hovered over yours as he settled in, trapping you underneath him. His head settled comfortably against your chest with his arms shoveled underneath you, resting the majority of his weight against your pelvis and relished the feel of your hands gently tangling in his hair—the softest honey brown locks on earth. You couldn’t help but tilt your head to press the curve of your jaw against the top of his head as he began falling asleep.

“Please, don’t leave me,” you uttered, fearing it was all a dream.

“They’re going to have to drag me out of here in handcuffs before I’d even think about leaving you tonight,” he uttered with a sleepy rasp to his voice. “But, what about Hong?”

“I’ll have a lot of explaining to do.” You laughed nervously.

“I swear, if he raises his voice—”

“Stop it,” you complained, gently slapping his naked back, “I love him. He’s earned the right to chastise me. I’ll take my lick, and we’ll all move forward. He is part of being with me; you’ll have to get along.”

Jeonghan gave a disgruntled growl, but he knew that if he was dating you, he was dating Joshua and Dokyeom, too—they came with the territory. He would learn to accept it, and started by falling fast asleep, listening to the rhythm of your heart.

__

Incessant knocking on your hotel door dragged the warm body next to you from the bed, but not without a few chaste kisses against the knuckles of the hand that reached for him. The covers were plush around you, soaked in his scent. The grogginess of last night’s events clouded your judgement as Jeonghan pulled his sweats on—enough to at least be somewhat presentable to whoever was at the door.

Your sleep eyes watched him go around the corner towards the door, the loving gaze fading quickly to panic as you came to the realization of exactly who was at the door. You scrambled from the covers, Jeonghan’s shirt hanging off your shoulders as you dashed around the corner.

“Jeonghan—”

His hand was already turning the bronzed handle, too late for you to stop him as he pulled the door open to reveal a similarly groggy Joshua whose eyes were soon cleared to hold the largest amount of confusion one pair of eyes could possibly convey. He stared at Jeonghan for a minute, blinking hard a few times before turning around to check to make sure he didn’t knock on the wrong door. When he saw your horrified face in the background, he was certain he didn’t knock on the wrong door.

The jig was up much earlier than either of you had intended.

“You have so much explaining to do, missy,” Joshua chastised—but as you had told Jeonghan, you definitely deserved it.