#just like Lux- /sniped

[snowydawn17]

You ever have a thought and know you’re reading way too deeply into it but it hurts regardless

Anyways. Something something Rat building the log cabin of exile in a cold snowy forest bc he’s closed off and doesn’t trust anyone and doesn’t care for anyone. Lux & Rat talking about running away and moving somewhere else after they do what needs to be done. Rat & Lux planning to rebuild in a flower meadow, in the spring and the warmth and the thaw.

The fact rat will never move from the frozen taiga because that’s where Lux’s grave is.

[missjanjie]

Better Than Revenge | Chapter 10

Title: Better Than Revenge Summary: Karma Inc.’s business structure is simple - clients hire them when they’ve been grievously wronged and they send one of their revenge mercenaries to right them. As painstaking as their efforts to remain ethical may be, that may be tested when former detective, Rosé, enlists the squad to pick up where she couldn’t on a much higher scale, with potentially greater consequences. Word Count: 2475 (this chapter) | ~26.1k (total) Relationship(s): Rosnali (Rosé/Denali Foxx), Jankie (Jackie Cox/Jan Sport), Halldoll (Nicky Doll/Jaida Essence Hall), Gimone (Gigi Goode/Symone), Gottlux (Gottmik/Olivia Lux) Rating: E Chapter TW: Minor Character Death

Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi

Mirage stood in front of the whiteboard in the meeting room with a black marker in hand. She waited for Jan and Gigi to settle before writing ‘honeypot’ in big letters on the board. “Do any of you guys know what this is? And it’s not what Winnie the Pooh eats out of.” 

“It’s like a decoy, right?” Jan asked. “Like in spy movies, that’s the sexy woman they have to distract guards or minor villains, stuff like that.”

“Basically, yeah,” she nodded, then chuckled softly as Jan perked up at getting the question right. “Jaida and Rosé said you guys would be the best fit to be the designated honeypots of the group, so that’s what we’re gonna work on. ‘Cause it’s more than just being hot and distracting people.” 

While the group had always distributed duties equally, the intensity and levels needed for the new work they’ve taken on required them to divide and conquer, and that meant playing to their strengths. Denali and Symone had the strongest physical prowess, Mik and Nicky were the sharpest shooters, and Jan and Gigi were the most charismatic, though often in different ways. On top of that, they had the strongest aversion to the more gruesome aspects of the job. Fortunately, it hadn’t taken long for Mirage and Anetra to get a clear read, especially with Jaida and Rosé’s opinions taken into consideration.

“First thing’s first,” Mirage cracked her knuckles and began once they got the rest of the formalities out of the way, “You can’t put all your focus on your target like when you’re doing a stakeout or sniping. You must constantly be aware of everything around you, especially whoever you’re covering.” She looked between them and added, “Though, from what I understand, I don’t have to worry about teamwork with you guys,” with a wink.

Jan tilted her head and furrowed her brows. “Because we’re both in relationships with other crew members?”

Gigi rolled her eyes. “No, because we both had Lasik. Obviously, she meant our relationships.”

“Well, you don’t need to be a fucking bitch about it,” she pouted.

Mirage chuckled as she watched the two bicker. “I like you guys.”

———

“So,” Anetra prompted as she wiped the sweat off of her forehead, taking a breather from another round of sparring, “when did you start training? It seems like you’ve been at it for years.”

Denali furrowed her brows to think for a moment. “It must be like… a little over a decade, I think. I picked it up after I stopped competitive ice skating. I needed an outlet for, you know, the immeasurable anger and disappointment of having my dreams ripped away from me due to another person’s malice.” 

The two silently agreed to take a proper break from their workout, moving to sit on a nearby bench. “That’s rough,” she sympathized. “But you got revenge on them, right? Isn’t that how this whole thing started? That’s what Jaida told me, at least.”

She cracked a smile and nodded. “Yeah, that’s what happened. I’ll tell you that story at some point, still proud of it. Thank god for my friend being a witness, though. God knows what I would’ve tried if I had been left to my own devices.”

“You’re much more useful here than in jail,” Anetra chuckled, bumping her shoulder against hers. 

Denali let out a breath of a laugh, nudging her in turn before turning to look at her. “Did you get that scar during active duty?” She asked, drawing a curved line with her finger over her eye, mirroring the scar on the other woman’s face.

She hesitated, chewing on her lip momentarily before deciding to tell the truth. “No, um, that’s from my mom. She… She didn’t handle my coming out well at all. Glasses were thrown,” she sighed. “I’d never been so relieved that my parents were divorced ‘cause my dad was chill. I don’t think she expected Mirage to leave with me, though. She thinks I corrupted her and accused me of some pretty horrible things once she found out we’re both gay.”

Her heart sank at the explanation, wrapping her arm around her shoulders, gingerly rubbing the side of her upper arm. “I’m so sorry. I get it, trust me. I didn’t come out to my parents until after I’d already moved out. Same story – Dad was in my corner, but my Mom and her never-ending devotion to her religion tried to convince me to go to conversion therapy. I almost did, in a moment of weakness. She’s come around now, but I know what a dark headspace that can put you in.”

While normally averse to physical contact from people outside her inner circle, Anetra allowed herself to be comforted, resting her head on her shoulder. “From what Jaida’s told me, it seems like you have a nice, albeit a bit dysfunctional, family found within the crew.”

Denali smiled softly and nodded. “I do, and now you and Mirage are part of it, too.” She gave them both a moment to collect themselves before getting up. “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

As they started to walk back to Anetra’s apartment, Denali casually asked, “So, how do you and Mirage like living out here?”

“So far, so good,” she shrugged. “Miri wants to bang our roommate so bad it’s funny, because that girl couldn’t be subtle enough to save her life. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already made a move.”

She breathed out a laugh. “She fits in here even better than expected, none of us have ever heeded the ��don’t shit where you eat’ warning.” Admittedly, it was nice to be able to talk to someone who hadn’t seen the roller coaster she and Rosé had been on in real-time. Finding out was inevitable, but at least she had control of the narrative.

Anetra nodded as she recalled the dynamics she’d observed thus far. “Right, I know Jaida and Nicky are together… Gigi and Symone are too, right?”

“Yeah, they’re engaged. They got together before the group was formed. Jan and Jackie are together too.”

“So, where does that leave you?”

Denali pressed her lips into a fine line as she stared out in front of her. Frankly, she had been asking herself the same question to no avail. She sighed and shook her head. “It’s complicated.”

———

Gigi and Symone were on their way home after spending the day deciding on floral arrangements for the wedding. Neither of them had realized just how much planning went into a wedding, and while it was tiring, they loved getting to pour over every minute detail to create their dream event. “God, I never thought a centerpiece could run such a price tag,” Gigi remarked. 

“It’s the marital surcharge,” Symone chuckled dryly as they reached their apartment. She furrowed her brows as she saw a blank, sealed envelope taped to the door. “D’you think this is from the bitter, old bitch in 8K?”

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” she shrugged as they went inside. “Here, gimme.” She used her nail to open the envelope and took out the note inside, then took out the typed letter inside. “You and your friends took one of ours. It’s only fair we return the favor. Hope you can stop your friend from getting on the plane before it’s too late.”

The letter fell from Gigi’s trembling hands, causing something else to fall out of the envelope – a picture of the front of Crystal’s house. But she didn’t notice, the fear and adrenaline both making her want to run in every direction while feeling frozen in place. The moment she broke from her horrified trance, she scrambled to get her phone. Each time she called Crystal’s phone, it went to voicemail. 

It was while she was frantically trying to get in touch with anyone who had immediate access to her friend, Symone’s phone rang – Gigi’s mom. “Please tell me Crystal hasn’t gone home yet.” Her tone was hushed, not wanting to make things worse for her fianceé or give her false hope. Then, her brows rose in shock. “No, no, you can’t put that on me to tell her. You’re her mom, she needs to hear it from you.”

Gigi’s head perked up at ‘mom’ and grabbed the phone from Symone. Whether it was hers or Crystal’s, it didn’t matter as long as it came with the confirmation of Crystal’s safety. “What’s going on? Is she okay?” 

What followed was a moment of  intense silence, followed by an ear-piercing scream that sent all the dogs in the vicinity into a chorus of barking. The next thing they heard was a loud thud and Gigi’s mother calling for her on the phone. Symone picked the phone back up. “Can’t talk now, she just fainted.”

Everything was a blur after that – the ambulance pulling up, the EMTs rushing in, the police arriving to take their statements. People were going in and out, communicating over walkie-talkies while the neighbors had their heads poking out their doors to try to piece together what happened, murmuring to each other to try to fill in the blanks. 

But as quickly as the chaos came, it disappeared, leaving Gigi and Symone alone, sitting on the floor in a tense silence. They remained like that for several minutes, trying to process how such a pleasant day took a staggeringly sharp turn for the worse. 

“I feel like I killed her.”

Gigi’s words hung in the air, the silence in the room now heavy with sadness and guilt. After another few moments, she continued. “I know I didn’t pull the trigger, but these psychos would have no idea she even existed if not for me.”

Symone wrapped Gigi in her arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “None of this is your fault. Grief is bad enough, I’m not gonna let you drown in guilt too. I know nothing I say will make this any better, but we gotta get through this one way or another. This ain’t over until every single one of those bastards pay for what they’ve done.” 

———

“Now, I know emotions are high, but I want you guys to hear me out before rushing to judgment,” Rosé addressed the room. While Gigi and Symone decided to stay in Illinois for the next couple of weeks, the rest of the team needed to figure out where to go from there. “There is a silver lining to this – they fucked up by picking an innocent target. Crystal wasn’t involved in any dark-sided shit, she wasn’t a nomad without a family to miss her. She worked in a bowling alley and lived with her sister and her sister’s girlfriend. There’s going to be a big investigation into this. People are going to want answers, this is probably the most interesting thing to happen in Missouri since…” She paused, brows furrowed. “Well, my inability to think of anything proves my point.” 

Jan cleared her throat and raised her hand, waiting until she had the floor to speak. “Not to be pessimistic, but if the cops couldn’t catch these guys before, why would they be able to now just because they’ll get a news story out of it?”

“It’s not so much about catching them, that will come in due time. It’s more about scaring them,” Anetra chimed in, “backing them into a corner, figuring out where they lay low. This was a stupid move on their part, too brazen. If they aren’t already trying to scatter, they will soon. It’ll probably make tracking them harder, but at least it lessens the potential danger.”

“That’s a very good point,” Denali nodded, looking squarely at Anetra as she spoke, then redirected to the rest of the group. “In the short-term, it’s better to let them hide. We can plan better in the interim.”

Rosé pouted, murmuring “I was gonna say that,” under her breath. 

No one seemed to notice the remark, except for Jackie, who prompted the group with, “Let’s put a pin in this for now, I think we all need some time to digest this.” She then turned to Rosé and quietly asked, “you have a minute?”

Still pouting, she nodded and followed her into her office, elbowing the door closed behind her. “Okay, what?”

“Listen,” she made sure to keep her tone gentle, “I know you’re in a mood. But you can’t let your work be affected just because you’re worried that Anetra is going to steal your–”

“She’s not my girl!” Rosé snapped, narrowing her gaze into a pointed glare. “I don’t care if she’s into Anetra, Denali and I don’t have a romantic relationship.”

Jackie blinked in surprise, taking a half- step back at the outburst. “Thunder. Steal your thunder… I thought you were feeling like your leadership role was threatened.” She hesitated, knowing she had to choose her next words carefully, lest she set her off again. “You know, Jan and I were just sleeping together for months before we started dating. Lack of communication was what held us back. I’m not saying you have to talk to her, but you really should consider it.”

Deep down, she knew she was right, she couldn’t just avoid Denali forever and hope her feelings for her went away. But admitting out loud was a whole other story. She didn’t do vulnerability, she’d trained herself to avoid it years ago. “I can’t, not yet. She just… It’s like she’s my weakness, I can’t keep all of my walls up around her, and I can’t let that happen, it’s not safe.” 

“I’m by no means a therapist, but it sounds like you’re stuck in fight or flight. Did something happen in your last relationship that made you so paranoid? Or was it a work-related problem?”

Rosé slumped down into the desk chair. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” she sighed. “I gave up on this years ago but… is the therapist you guys are seeing taking new patients?” 

Jackie smiled softly and gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll make sure she can schedule you in this week. I’m proud of you, this is an important first step.”

She was quiet, pensive, letting the choice she’d just made set in. She thought about what it could mean for her both now and in the future. In a soft, almost timid voice, she asked, “Do you think she’d ever give me a chance again? Once I get better?” 

The question caught her off guard, especially given her adamant denial to anyone that would listen. “I can’t predict the future, but I do think anything is possible. There’s a deeper connection between you guys, one that she doesn’t have with Anetra or anyone else.”

Rosé smiled softly, exhaling deeply. “It’s a start, I’ll take it.”

[anonymous-bastard]

Intro

Welcome to my (semi-secret) John Stewart rp blog featuring Urban Planning. Married to @hi-its-kat

I don't really know what else to say? The only reason I'm doing this is because I can no longer keep track of my tags using my featured tags. This whole blog happened entirely on accident. So like. Idk.

Hi.

Currently plot relevant posts:

My other blogs are @hi-its-kat @lantern-rings and [redacted for spoilers].

Do not flirt with me if you or your character are underage.

FYI: sometimes I block people. It's usually not personal, I'm just trying to make this a comfortable space for myself. I promise I don't hate you.

Tags

A collection of every single tag I use. Currently important tags are bolded. I tag retroactively for archival purposes so it tends to be a while til I put them up. They make sense to me and occasionally other people.

Asks

#ask game #unsigned anon #birdie anon / 🐦 anon #sparkle anon / #✨anon #sewing needle anon / #🪡 anon #key anon / #🗝️ anon #thread anon / #🧵 anon #red square anon / 🟥 anon #triangle anon / #⚠️ anon #wing anon / #🪽 anon #ominous rock anon / #🪨 anon

character/ family tag:

#katmas tag #silly bart tag #kaias tag

ooc stuff

#ooc #my stuff

storylines (finished and unfinished)

#storyline tag: jl prank war #storyline tag: the search for hal (2024) #storyline: sniping billionaires #storyline tag: shovel talks #storyline tag: hal's adoption addiction #storyline tag: blackout #storyline tag: talon time #storyline tag: field trip to oa #waynegala / #wayne gala #storyline tag: alien marriage storyline tag: fighting god #storyline tag: fuck around and find out

locations:

#at the lux #thread world

others:

#architecture #urban planning #the train saga #GL Corps stuff #GL Corps memes #the professor era #trick or treat #the queen is dead long live the king

[spark-circuit]

I've been desperately trying to use any other weapon than the reef-lux but i just dont have as much fun (ive been trying the big swig lately but im AWFUL at the vacume) was wondering if you had any takes on fun splat3 weapons? (my friends roast me a lot cause i never charge the reef-lux and exclusively hang back inking every tiny spot i can and tentamissiling constantly, im bad with confrontation and i love to paint the ground lol)

reading “constant tenta-missiles” just made me think of this video tbh, sorry hglkjfhgjlk /pos

as a serious answer, 3 is my first game so i’m no expert, but i went splat roller -> carbon roller -> inkbrush aaaaaand i’ve stuck to inkbrush ever since lmao. it’s fast coverage if you’re good at spamming the trigger, you get killer wail which isn’t a bad special, especially since you can charge it SUPER quick with how fast you cover turf and you can snipe people early match before they get to mid if you focus down on them, and i never reallyyyyy use subs much so splat bombs are fine. i’ve heard octobrush is good but you’ll get slowed down by enemy ink when “rolling” which is??? hm. :/ i don’t get why but hm. 

this might sound a bit silly, but salmon run has given me some new perspectives on weapons, so maybe try a few shifts if you haven’t already? like from what i’ve played in salmon run; as much as i wouldn’t want to be a nuisance with bloblobber, it’s a solid painter and can be a real threat if you’ve not got a counter. it gets sprinkler and ink cloud for coverage too. if you’re more a sniper character, i think the new snipewriter 5h is interesting because you can hold shots after charging, so there’s more time to move and adapt when the enemy team inevitably and angrily targets the sniper main, lmao. also looking at the wiki, sprinkler and tacticooler is a VERY solid kit for it tbh - sprinklers can cause issues if not handled immediately and tacticooler is a fantastic support for playing with friends, plus it can give you quick respawn so you can come back faster after getting splatted! here’s ProChara’s video on the weapons after they came out so you can get a professional’s POV!

[surveillance-0011]

What weapons would they main?

In terms of salmonid stuff: Pans, probably. Most salmonids at least know how to hit with one of those

My general hc has been DJ as Goldie and Timpanist as Cohock so the two pans in the back r theirs maybe?

And the cellist would go for a blade bc. Hidden Blade of Yakiharas…

I also hc they were training to be a maws but either 1) couldn’t fight bc of their clumsiness and was basically unable to continue or 2) retired when his clumsiness got worse with age, but they know the ropes and still have the body type for it so they bite such. Can also swim in ink.

In terms of Turf War: I think it’d be interesting if they used (stolen) Grizzco weapons or at least the same main weapons.

DJ likes firepower and cool stuff. Blaster and Stringer. If not Grizzco then a Luna Blaster and either stringer type but probably reef lux to be annoying with the missiles

Maybe dualies, alternatively or as an extra option.

The Cellist would probably prefer the sidelines in a turf war battle and the knife they have is more for last resort or when they want to send a message. That and if they were capable of turfing they’d probably just tag along with the other two and would want an excuse to be farther away from them. Brella and uhh maybe also Charger. On a good day. Grizzco, once again, but either the undercover or tenta for Brellas and just a normal splat charger or the snipewriter. Prefers ink vac as a special. Yes he is clumsy so idk how good of a sniper he’d be but I don’t think he’d find turf wars fun and would choose something where he can contribute for the other two but not have to exert. But he’d definitely go for the brella first.

Ig inkbrush as an extra option? Maybe splash? Aerospray? He’d probably have an easier-to-use or perhaps more mindless (saying this as a shameful aerospray user….) option just in case he didn’t want to focus on sniping or whatever?

The Timpanist likes to hit hard and unlike the DJ doesn’t mind taking it slower. Slosher and Splatana. Sloshing machine and explosher, then the Splatana stamper. He rlly likes the sloshing machine’s booyah bomb tho. You’d think maybe the DJ would like that special and they probably do but I think the timpanist would use it more often man deserves to scream at the top of his lungs and raise hell.

[doiefy]

nct dream playing league of legends

ok so this is completely self-indulgent because i finally got a new computer and can properly play league again ahfjkhfjh. a quick rundown for anyone who hasn’t played the game:

the objective is to destroy the nexus in the enemy team’s base, which can be reached through three different lanes.

top lane: brawlers and fighters mid lane: assassins and mages bot lane: one marksman and one support jungle: neutral camps 

some other terms cs: creep score, number of minions killed in lane kda: kill, death, assist ratio gank: going into another lane to flank the enemy

mark: “nice job bro”

the reliable jungler. or at least, he tries to be. 

will constantly come help you if you're getting beat up in lane. laughs when his ganks fail but will hype you up when it works.

always lets you get the kill and apologizes profusely if he accidentally steals it.

forgets that dragons exist “oh wait dude, dragon was up?? FUCK WAIT THAT WAS ELDER”

he'd play rammus, nunu and zac, literally all the wholesome, funny characters. memorizes their voice lines and repeats them while he clears his camps. 

would quite literally die for willump. if he dies and hears nunu say “no! don’t leave me, willump!” he’ll go on a muderous rampage when he respawns. 

renjun: "GET ME OUT."

the mage midlaner who’s hardstuck in silver and can’t get out.

the ranked matchup algorithm hates him and puts him with an entire team of trolls.

at first he refused to play the game, but somehow got addicted overnight. hates the game.

preaches against the objectification of sexy female characters and bonks evelynn to horny jail whenever he sees her. 

a farming and skillshot GOD. perfect cs even under tower, lands everything and people think he’s scripting. 

plays mage assassins like ahri and leblanc, artillery mages like lux and xerath.

refuses to spend money on the game and relies on skin shards. 

mass reports everyone he doesn’t like. you didn’t say gg to him? reported

jeno: "ggwp <3"

the wholesome top laner who beats people up and then friend requests them at the end of the game.

looks tough, has a deep username, so people are scared of him. in reality he’s just having fun

has the most wholesome emotes. 

while everyone’s casually laning, he’ll already be in the enemy base at 20 minutes, 1v5ing and singlehandedly ending the game.

sends cute faces in all chat as if he doesn’t have a perfect kda and can beat your ass to the moon. 

probably plays sett, malphite (oh god), gwen, renekton... probably has the patience for nasus too. 

never fucking pings before he teleports but it somehow works out. 

haechan: *aggressively pings enemy missing*

TOXIC ASSASSIN MAIN CHANGE MY MIND.

he’s good, has good mechanics, but usually ends up getting way too cocky after two kills, constantly dies while diving the enemy.

spams pings on people and emotes whenever he gets a kill.

plays teemo just to be a little shit.

istg he’d play zed, yasuo, yone, katarina, all the assassins. “you need skill to play yasuo.” proceeds to go 0/20/1

streams his games on twitch and accidentally sends the link in all chat so the enemy can stream snipe him.

either he carries or he’s useless.

takes special game modes just as seriously for some reason ?? buddy calm down it’s just super mario party

anyways i love you donghyuck <3

jaemin: "you're doing great sweetie. just fucking amazing."

the passive aggressive support main and i stand by that.

likes the pretty champions and will buy ONLY pink skins and chromas, even if it’s for a champion he doesn’t play. pink warwick?? hell yeah

pretends he’s proud of you even if he’s completely, utterly done with your dumbass. 

the passive aggressive, disappointed comments like “you need me to get that cannon for you? no? you can do it yourself? andddd you missed it. nice job sweetie. we just lost 60 gold.”

lets people play ranked with him even if they’re bad and then he has to smile through the pain of demotions.

plays champs like yuumi, lulu, janna, morgana.

will play yuumi and do nothing just to spite you. “sorry you died but my heal is on cooldown.”

is really sweet sometimes though <3

chenle: "i got autofilled."

unbothered king. 

he can play every role pretty decently, and gets experimental with his champion picks. like he’ll take a mage into the jungle and somehow get away with it, or play a support against a brawler and beat them up ??

just laughs at everyone’s pain and doesn’t really care about his rank.

secretly owns thirty smurf accounts. 

has the dumbest ideas like selling all his items and buying 6 mana crystals.

will somehow get the entire team to partake in said dumb idea; in other words, jisung’s worst nightmare.

dances in lane while his team is fighting. “GUYS LOOK AT ME.” “chenle DO SOMETHING.” 

again, he plays e v e r y t h i n g

also streams on twitch and makes a whole army to bring donghyuck down.

jisung: "my entire team is dead and they think it's my fault."

the stressed support main.

he’s good at the game but can’t possibly save his entire dumbass team from certain death.

ends up having to fight tooth and bone on his own while the rest of his team is dead. 

always calling the shots but no one listens to him so he just talks to himself instead, “guys, stop splitting up- oh and they’re all dead. k i’m gonna go over here.”

plays engage tanks like nautilus, leona and blitzcrank. engages the wrong enemy and gets yelled at. 

refuses to play ranked with anyone. not even renjun. n o  o n e. trust no one. 

ends up playing tft, the autochess of league. because at least it’s every man for himself. somehow climbs to diamond. 

[starsailorstories]

I feel like I haven’t talked enough on this blog about what Cepheid did politically that was so important and impressive, because Lux’s pov takes her importance and impressiveness so for granted that I almost need to constantly point out her flaws alongside that to prove that she’s human (well, you know)

But I mean

Cepheid was a tactical prodigy, all the people telling her she could go down in history as a military hero weren’t just blowing sunshine. She entered the public consciousness as a rebel with a carefully planned, tightly executed sabotage that effectively removed one of the major economic motivations for an imperialistic war, hastening the end of said war, and saved hundreds of people from being, like, drafted into jobs in the middle of nowhere that they had no desire to do. 

It’s amazing enough that she even evaded arrest after that (to be fair that was more or less the part Lux and her Very Fast Spaceship were covering) but WHILE she was on the run she got in touch with and helped organize workers at a bunch of factories and mines that were floating out in the vacuum of space without any access to outside media coverage or resources, who probably never would’ve been able to keep up a strike or a continuous protest or win a clash against security without the Revelator running impossible errands for them on a weekly basis. 

She kept extensive journals and correspondence, basically making a full time job of just that between actual periods of Excitement, and then brought them in secret to a group of unaffiliated scholars who she then worked closely with to draft safety regulations that were later applied legally to basically the whole spacefaring industry and offshore manufacturing industry (this was a bit of a pyrrhic victory because it led to said offshore manufacturing industry coming to rely almost exclusively on lux labor, knowing that lux units’ subcultural ideals and lack of legal rights would conspire to make the regulations basically unenforceable, but at the time it was clearly and unambiguously a good thing).

 She was continuously making art at first just to get what she was going through of her head but eventually carefully designed and cultivated her style and self-presentation to communicate her ideological message even in situations where she didn’t have a chance to talk to anybody. 

And she was holding together a materially disadvantaged but spectacularly effective starship crew, sniping fascists with stun arrows at every conceivable opportunity, and going to bat for her disabled wife’s rights to reasonable accommodation with everybody and their dog everywhere they went, through all of this. She’s a Real One

[darkitsunex]

Months as LoL Supports

January- Senna

Frigid as January and her lore along playstyle are leaning to a solid winter season. Being the carry and if she isn't,she would be upset.

February- Bard

Dreamers like the fellow February people and viewing the world in a pink colour as well, besides being rather more helpful to anyone else than their adc.

March- Renata Glasc

Carrying bot lane or at least skirmrishes with her resurrection and the berserk ultimate that alters teamfights. The ordinary March born person

April- Rakan

Passionate like them and making stubbornly good engages that are bringing a lot success, besides being somehow impulsive.

May- Morgana

Her binds never cease to astonish how stable they are and being sufficiently stubborn to keep you permanently pelt with her black shield and kamikazing with her ultimate for AoE stun. A gothic icon

June- Blitzcrank

One to one with the ordinary representatives of the people born in this month. Either being the most irking counter with his precise hooks or otherwise being irrelevant ,due to the lacking hit skillshot.

July- Thresh

Caring demon. He would put the lantern either to peel you and escape together from troubles or otherwise bringing back quicker on lane. His peeling and engage tools are healthily great to provide you with defense or offense.

August- Lux

As bright as the sparkles of the August sun, Luxes tend to be egocentric and focus more on getting themselves fed since their damage is more relevant than their mid laner. Yet they came on bot with a purpose to carry and snipe squishies.

September- Sona

Perfectionist in switching her crowds from her damage buff up to the slow and keeping her allies healthy along stronger. She incarnates the September's soul

October- Nami

As spooky as Halloween's spirits ,Nami can be a nightmare to deal with if she still manages to miss her skillshots and just bonking you with Electrocute ,Ebb and Flow along kiting you with Autoattacks and Tidercaller's blessing. Don't question her how she is capable of that!

November- Karma

As calm as the November month,itself ,Karma can be bittersweet to her foes with Mantra along Q. And being as quick as the howling wind with her shield while trying to catch her.

December- Janna

Distant with her tedious and permanently slowing kit, that is what makes Janna an epitome of the last month.

[dumbfuck-mojave]

FNV Companions React to Someone Being Aggressive Towards Rex.

@spidester basically came up with this idea.

TW: Mentions of violence against humans and animals. Some sexual flirtation. Swearing is the norm at this point

Fucking IDEK if these are out of character anymore we just roll with it. Also, shitty and inconsistent writing and react length ahoy. Also yes I lied and said this was going to be out last night but I got sick please understand-

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Arcade: Six had dragged him into Ultra-Luxe because once again, they were being stupid and trying to beat some sort of goal they had set for themselves earlier that day at the gambling tables. Rex had also come in with them, but had wandered off with his snout up in the air towards the kitchens. While Six was focusing on the Blackjack table Arcade heard a sudden yip and bark behind him and turned to see two people laughing and kicking the poor dog. They weren’t dressed like the people that would usually gamble here and they certainly weren’t a White Glove, so Arcade just assumed they were some travelers that didn’t know Six’s reputation and love for their canine companion. Also angry at the situation unfolding, Arcade briskly made his way over to them.

“Excuse me-”

“Fuck off.” 

Now, that made Arcade very unhappy. Honestly, he expected them to be rude, but was still a little surprised at how quickly they shot him down, not even trying to start an argument or anything. Yet.

“Listen, gentlemen.” Arcade said sharply, “I suggest you leave now because you’d much rather deal with me telling you how vile of people you are than for my friend over at the Blackjack table getting word of what you’ve been doing to their dog.”

“Oh, tough guy, eh? Well guess what, we don’t give a shit about what you or your idiot friend have to say!” The taller of the men sneard, getting right up in Arcade’s face. “Fucking forget it, the dumb dog isn’t worth our time. They ran out of booze a while ago anyway.”

Arcade gave them a look of disinterest as the semi-stumbled out the door. He made….. eye contact?..... with one of the masked servers when he looked away from them, who also seemed relieved that the two men were gone, probably because they had trached dust and mud throughout the entire main room.  Making his way back to Six, Arcade was going over scenarios in his head about what Six would do once he told them. Turns out one of his guessed scenarios was true. He did know Six very well after all. Unfortunately for the men, they had decided to sleep naked that night and Six had found out where they were staying through a few connections. A few hours later the men’s clothes were strung up on and lit on fire in the middle of Freeside, with the neat edition of shoving several hungry geckos into the men’s hotel room. The men ran out into the Mojave, naked and with a few flesh chunks missing from their body, while Rex gnawed happily on his Brahmin Steak in the Lucky 38. 

Boone: A Legion party had ambushed them just outside of Red Rock Canyon as they were making their way towards Vegas from Goodsprings. The system they had was working well enough, Boone had managed to climb his way up on the hill to the right of the road and was sniping them from afar while Six was up close with their ripper. It was hard to get solid damaging headshots on them since they were those dumb helmets, but if he got lucky Six would get close enough to rip one of their helmets off so he could get a clear shot through their skull. Usually, there were 4 Legionaries in a party but Caesar must have really wanted Six dead at this point, so they were currently being surrounded by at least 12, possibly even more. As Six drop-kicked two legionaries into each other, Boone noticed one of the other Legionaries targeting Rex and backing him up against the Canyon wall. Luckily for Boone and unfortunately for the Legionnaire, there was no helmet in sight. Boone lined up the shot and it entered the target’s head with a whiz and a squish. As the now-corpse fell to the ground, the group of three reorganized amongst the carnage. Rex sat down at Boone’s feet and looked up at him, mouth open and panting. 

“Don’t look at him like that.” Boone said in a monotone voice, making the Courier laugh beside him.

“Boone, you’re talking to a dog.” The Courier started on their way once again to Vegas, looking down at the dog now trotting beside them.

“You want to go see the King Rex?”

*Bark*

“Look who’s talking to the dog now.” 

Veronica and Cassidy: The girls had decided to hang out together today, without the Courier. They also had Rex in tow and were currently sitting at the Atomic Wrangler’s counter. Both of these women were at least three bottles in each already and their laughter poured through the casino as Veronica slouched over and snorted at one of Cass’ merchant stories.

“There is *snort* there is no way he did that.” Veronica wheezed out, falling into another fit of laughter.

“He did! He just grabbed that fucker by his-”

Their conversation was cut off when a man walked over to them. Much too confidently, I might add. They both looked up at him in disgust and annoyance. 

“So, what are two beautiful ladies doing out here all alone. You know, why don’t we all go upstairs and have a little *fun* together. ” The man leaned in so far he almost touched noses with Veronica. Rex had been sitting idly with his head in his paws on the floor until this moment. When the man leaned in, Rex growled and stood up, brisling at the man. 

“Dumb dog.” The man grumbled, swinging out his hand and hitting Rex in the head. Now no one knew if the man had meant to hit Rex so hard that he slammed his glass dome into the counter, but it didn’t matter now. Veronica pushed up off the counter and shoved the man back.

“Who do you think you are?! First, you come up to two ladies who are CLEARLY disinterested in you, interrupt their good time, then you have the audacity to hit our dog?!” Veronica practically yelled, drawing attention from several others in the room. Two people in particular had the look in their eyes that was almost begging to see a fight.

“Listen, girlie, I do what I want, ok?” The man growled, cut off by Veronica shoving his back against the counter, “Oh, girlie, you want to start right now?” 

“She doesn’t want to do anything with you. Nobody would.” Cass said as she finally stood up, looking over Veronica’s shoulder.

“Now come on ladies, no need to fight over me.” The man slurred, the beginnings of a wolfish grin on his face. 

Now, Ronnie may be small but she has a power fist and can fuck some people up. In a flash, the man was on his knees with both arms straining behind him, courtesy of Cass. Veronica unveiled her power fist and a spark of fear appeared in the man’s eyes as she swung it dainlity near his temple.

“I could swing my fist sideways right now.” She started swinging faster and more aggressively, “And give you a good lesson about how to treat others around you with an indent on your head to remind you.” 

“N-No!”

“Oh, come on. I’m sure it would be no trouble for my friend here.” Cass sneered, tightening her grip on the man’s arms, making him squeal out in man. 

“Please, please! No!” 

As the once confident man was damn near sobbing just at the prospect of getting hit, Veronica and Cass looked up at each other and grinned. Dragging the man outside, Veronica used her unarmored fist to hit him into a puddle of… something. The man stumbled to his feet and looked back in fear at the doorway. Then sprinted off. 

“DAMN! NEXT TIME YOU START A FIGHT YOU BETTER BE ABLE TO FINISH IT!” Cass yelled after him before they retreated into the casino once more.

. On their way back in, two figures walked out the door, following the now out of sight man. Sometimes, if you want to see a fight, you just have to start one yourself. 

Ed-E: *Pulls out laser canon* “Beep beepbeep bop'' Translation: “You bitch ass motherfucker”. Even if Rex sometimes drools on Ed-E or accidentally whips a ball at it’s shell, Ed-E will still protecc and attacc. 

Lily: Ok no but honestly and sorry to disappoint but any scenario involving her reacting to this is just them fighting, her calling the Courier Jimmy, then absolutely rocking the perpetrators shit. Like, tear that person in half grandma. I wanted to write a longer thing out….unless

Raul: He and Six had decided to stop at 188 Trading Post for the night instead of attempting to walk all the way back to Vegas. They were low on supplies, tired and hungry, and Raul’s back was acting up again. Samuel was nice enough to let Raul lie down for a bit on one of the mattresses behind the bar while Six was focusing on cleaning their weapons and bartering. Just as he was about to drift off, he heard Six’s voice speak up above the radio.

“Don’t touch my goddamn dog like that!” 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do you fucking piece of shit! Oh fuck-” 

Raul stood up and peered around the corner to see a rather interesting sight. Six was straddling some random man and aggressively slapping his hands away when he tried to reach for them, all while screaming every obscene thing they’ve ever been taught, even some things in Spanish thanks to Raul. Samuel was looking very concerned at the bar, not wanting to get directly involved in this mess while Rex was barking his head off in the man's face. After Raul managed to drag Six off the man, he found out the man was an associate of Alexander and was talking about making a deal with him when Rex came up to him to sniff his hand. Agitated, the man reached down and put his fist around Rex’s muzzle, yanking him up on his back to legs. Nothing escalated past that point as Six had entered the picture by then. They eventually decided to just walk back to Vegas that night and extend their break home, but damn if Raul wasn’t impressed and kind of flattered at the way they gracefully told a man how they were going to cut out this tongue and feed it to rats. Raul is dad.

(The insult thing was definitely a nod to one of @nuclear-reactions posts)

Thank you for reading! Requests are open!

[dweemeister]

New Orleans (1947)

The city of New Orleans is synonymous with a rich cultural tapestry shaped over centuries. Located on the banks of the Mississippi River, its economic and political influence waned with the spread of railroads and highways. Today, its influences are indigenous American, African, French, Spanish, Creole, Honduran, Vietnamese, and much more. But the city remains an inimitable cultural force. One of the city’s most significant contributions to the world is jazz – a musical genre that, even in the mid-twentieth century, attracted racially-coded disdain.

I must admit that I am instantly suspicious of any film that takes a city’s name as its title. Being not in a sniping mood as I write this sentence, I will not single any certain film out – for now. But to reduce a film title to a city’s name is to heighten expectations that the filmmaker will capture the so-called “soul” of a city (a nearly impossible task). Or perhaps they shall depict a man-made or natural disaster that takes place in that city (how often does a city’s name become shorthand for a mass shooting?). Enter Arthur Lubin’s New Orleans: a quasi-musical that does not have the courage to let the musical numbers guide it. The film stars Louis Armstrong (essentially playing himself) and Billie Holiday (not playing herself in her only credited role in a feature film), in addition to other jazz stalwarts at the time: Woody Herman, drummer Zutty Singleton, clarinetist Barney Bigard, trombonist Kid Ory, guitarist Bud Scott. New Orleans makes the mistake of not having Armstrong and Holiday be the main stars. Instead, the film has a half-baked, predictable romance. For a film title with such enormous implications, New Orleans’ concentration makes no sweeping statements about the eponymous city. Instead, it turns its gaze to jazz’s reputation among high-society white Americans.

It is 1917. The Storyville district of New Orleans is a den of prostitution, drinking, gambling, and – worst of all – jazz. Storyville’s residents are mostly black, but some of its welcome patrons are white. Nick Duquesne (Mexican actor Arturo de Córdova) runs a gambling joint frequented by Mrs. Rutledge Smith (Irene Rich) and classical music conductor/pianist Henry Ferber (Richard Hagerman). Irene avoids the jazz there (one of the regulars is Louis Armstrong and the aforementioned players), but her daughter, Miralee (Dorothy Patrick) – an operatic soprano who has arrived in New Orleans to make her professional classical music debut – is entranced by this radical music. Miralee is also entranced with Nick, against her mother’s wishes. Miralee is staying with her relative when she meets their maid, Endie (Billie Holiday), who surreptitiously plays the piano and sings jazz music when she gets the chance. As you might imagine, Endie’s employers disapprove. The film comes to a head as the U.S. military forcibly shuts down Storyville (evicting hundreds of black residents overnight), Nick leaves New Orleans, and Miralee must contend with her emotions just before she makes her classical music professional debut.

Billie Holiday’s fans might be troubled by the fact she is a maid here, given that she intentionally avoided physically demanding occupations in real life. Her reaction to this casting is unclear, as different reputable sources offer contradictory claims: that she abhorred being cast as a maid (Meg Greene’s Billie Holiday: A Biography), or that she relished the opportunity to be in a motion picture regardless of the role (an interview with music journalist Leonard Feather). So as tough as it may be to see her in a subservient role, Holiday appears to be enjoying herself – especially during the musical numbers she is a part of. She is clearly, other than Louis Armstrong, the most musically accomplished member of the cast. But when her character disappears from the film in the final third, New Orleans heaves due to the hackneyed romance between Nick and Miralee. To toss the one actor making this film worth watching for no sensible reason is a disastrous choice by screenwriters Elliot Paul (1941’s A Woman’s Face, 1945’s Rhapsody in Blue) and Dick Irving Hyland (1947’s Kilroy Was Here).

Even in a film independently released through United Artists (the one major Hollywood studio of Old Hollywood with the least executive interference), she and Armstrong cannot be the central stars. Considering Holiday’s musical talents, one wonders why she never starred in another film. Despite some digging, I could not find the answer. But if any black woman musician could have films centered around her, it would be Holiday. Her contemporaries, Lena Horne and Ethel Waters, could never overcome the terrible beliefs that audiences would not pay to see a film with a black actress in the lead role. But did Holiday – noting how Louis Armstrong also appeared in films – want to make more films? That may be an answer for someone else to uncover.

More than any film of its time that I can recall, New Orleans is overflowing with a disobedient musical energy. When considering musical genres innovated by African-Americans, there is an underground aspect to their initial spread that, at first, appears exclusive. Jazz, R&B, and hip hop have all gone through these motions: a tumultuous, secretive birth; a rebellious adolescence where critics decry the moral fabric of such music; and finally mainstreaming. Jazz in New Orleans lies somewhere within that adolescence. Its troubled reputation is the result of a mixture of musical and racial tensions. New Orleans’ affluent white community, on its surface, disdains jazz and prefers the import that is Western classical music – opinions they express vocally (as an amateur classically-trained musician who learned more about jazz later in life, I can’t stand the gatekeeping behavior exemplified in this film). So any time that jazz music is played in an unorthodox setting – the parlor of the Smith household, an orchestra hall – it feels defiant, dangerous.* These musical-racial dynamics persist in America to this day. To even see a film acknowledge that conflict, however ineloquently, is credit to the screenwriters and director Arthur Lubin understanding aspects about musical popular culture of this time.

But what is New Orleans and New Orleans without music? First sung by Holliday and reprised (one might even say appropriated in the negative sense) multiple times is, “(Do You Know What It Means to Miss) New Orleans”, with music by Louis Alter and lyrics by Edgar De Lange. Louis Armstrong is on his signature trumpet, a phalanx of great jazz instrumentalists play on the flanks, and Billie Holiday’s voice captures the timbre necessary in any song about longing.

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans And miss it each night and day? I know I’m not wrong, the feeling’s getting stronger The longer I stay away.

It is a song representative of this film’s failed ambitions as an embodiment of New Orleans’ spirit. But it is also a brilliant showcase for some of the great jazz figures working at this time – including instrumental performances by Woody Herman and his orchestra and a virtuosic performance of “Honky Tonk Train Blues” by pianist Meade “Lux” Lewis. Nevertheless, New Orleans’ most soulful performances always revolve around Armstrong and Holiday singing Alter and De Lange’s original compositions. Other soundtrack highlights include “The Blues are Brewin’” and “Farewell to Storyville”. The former exemplifies Holiday’s timeless appeal, her singing voice’s unornamented pathos that elevates the simplest of lyrics. The latter is the most context-dependent song in the soundtrack and occurs as the U.S. military orders the closure of the speakeasies and gambling joints of Storyville – a swinging elegy without defeatism. New Orleans is at its most enjoyable during these musical numbers, and the film just feels lost whenever Armstrong and Holiday are not present or when any of the supposed leads open their mouths to speak.

That Lubin and the film’s producers do not trust the soundtrack to carry New Orleans indicates an ironic misgiving towards jazz music itself. United Artists’ refusal to reward Armstrong and Holiday star billing over de Córdova and Patrick is probably rooted to then-contemporary reality that movie theaters in the American South refused to show films with black leads. In addition, jazz music – like in this film – was not yet completely in the mainstream. If it appeared in a Hollywood film (and elements of jazz often appeared in mid-century American musicals), it almost always would be presented and popularized by a white performer. This development is not exclusive to jazz, let alone artistic medium. The filmmakers, in New Orleans’ final third, muddle their message through such appropriation. “Cultural appropriation” at its most basic definition is a neutral concept, but the developments in the film’s closing scenes – intentional or otherwise – extend this appropriation by presenting a white person’s presentation of jazz as more acceptable to a general audience than a black person’s.

For New Orleans, it remains obscure in terms of Hollywood musicals, African-American cinema, and within the esteemed United Artists filmography. In the present day, it serves best as an exhibition for some of the most acclaimed jazz musicians and performers working in the 1940s. To those fans of the numerous black jazz performers appearing in the film, New Orleans is a bittersweet reminder of what may have been.

My rating: 6.5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

* In one scene in an orchestral concert hall, jazz is played as an encore to a classical music concert. It says volumes that the audience is beside themselves and that all of the members of the orchestra (and Richard Hagerman, playing their conductor) are transfixed.

[casimania]

I wanted to say a couple of things about an AU Dan/Lucifer/Chloe scenario but jfc I ended up writing an entire fic outline... soooo uh here’s 1700 words of OT3 talk whoops

Dan finds himself becoming friendlier with Lucifer and they start spending time together off work. The friendship is not immediate. Maybe it starts with Dan having too many drinks and crashing at the penthouse and in the morning they're both sober but still chill and they talk (Lucifer probably drank and snorted things way too much too and is not back at 100% yet so they have a momentarily truce) Dan can't remember the last time he actually had fun talking with someone like this outside of work and Lucifer finds himself sending him off without any snarky remark. But they're still frenemies with emphasis on the enemies so they act as usual at work. But maybe a couple of days later in a moment of boredom they pick up again what they were talking about that morning and just keep talking. Here and there. And it's not bad. And then Lucifer maybe talks about human things with Linda and something is still bugging him, so he shows up at Dan's place with food and drinks and questions. And they're super weird questions, but Dan is trying to be less of a Douche and Lucifer isn't that bad most of the times and who know what the hell he went through that made him like that. Being a little more understanding couldn’t hurt, right? So he's just like "lay it on me" and he spends the evening answering the randomest questions. And they move from that to again just talking and then it's late and they're stalling because Dan doesn't really want to be alone and Lucifer could technically go have fun at Lux, but he doesn't have to show up tonight and he was actually having fun with Dan too, unexpectedly. And hey, they both love action movies and Dan has action movies ready to be watched. It's easy to just slide on the couch and put one on and then they're running commentary and laughing. Maybe one time Lucifer is feeling antsy and shows up at Dan's place and Trixie's there and she's sooo happy and well, it's not like he hasn't been at Chloe's place with Trixie there, it's still the same sticky urchin. So he stays. And again... it's not bad. Not bad at all. And then people notice the difference in their relationship at work. They're still sniping at each other and Lucifer comes out on top usually and Dan goes off somewhere grumbling but it's... Sort of mellower? And now Dan leaves a cup in the fridge with Lucifer's name but Lucifer keeps taking the one with Dan's name anyway but when he raids the fridge cause he's got the munchies or something he always leaves one single cup for Dan ('What? He gets cranky when he doesn't have his midday snack. Do you want to deal with a cranky Douche? Brrr.'). Chloe is sure she's seem them playing phone games together during a break. Or snickering over a text. And they've suddenly got inside jokes or something like she and Dan did or like she and Lucifer now have.

BUT ALSO Dan is kind of on even ground with Chloe again. When not actively trying to salvage a doomed relationship they manage to build up a better one. Dan is still trying to be a better person and dad and friend and making amends- Chloe feels the difference. It's lighter being with Dan now. She finally feels like he gets her, and when he doesn't he makes a real effort. They hang out even when it's not their together time with Trixie too, without expectations. They just do stuff they enjoy together. And also he's finally not having that weird tiff with Lucifer anymore so once in a while when they're both at her place with Trixie they invite him over. And he still acts weird and says the weirdest things and he makes Trixie laugh and then Chloe and Dan are laughing too and they don’t mind at all. They probably end up hanging out together. Them and Ella, Linda, Maze and then Amenadiel shows up and they pull him cause why not. And Chloe realizes how much she’d missed Dan.

And Lucifer and Chloe have their own relationship building up like in canon too, with all the highs and lows. And suddenly Dan finds himself playing wingman to both of them. Because they're his friend and it’s painful to watch. Chloe knows he's hanging out a lot with Lucifer and Lucifer knows Chloe and him are divorced but they're friends again so they're asking advice. And after a while Dan sort of wants to rip his own hair out becuase he's feeling jealous again but he doesn't really know of which one. It's a more general painful tug whenever he sees them. And he figures it out a little feels selfish and greedy and pulls back from them the closer to admitting their feelings and working things out the romantic way they are. Because he's being weird and doesn't want to ruin things for them because he feels lonely sometimes. And they're worried they've done something to hurt him. They also realize they both miss him so so much. And it's strange, because they're not just missing the times they used to spend apart with him. When they're together and they feel a Dan shaped hole between them. And so they talk to him. Except Dan lies and probably says some bullshit about the dregs of some old jealousy rearing up and maybe worrying about their friendships changing made him retreat because he didn't want to be a dick, but accidentally hurt them anyway and he's sorry. And they don't quite know how to talk about their feelings either so they just go with it for the moment.

They tentatively try to slide back in their routine. But things are different. Now Lucifer and Chloe are spending time together as a couple and... Yep. They're still missing Dan, even now that he’s back at being buddy buddy with both. They end up inviting him while they're together with Trixie the way Dan and Chloe did. (And still do, because even if by now Trixie has accepted they're separated and Chloe is seeing Lucifer they still like those time together and she does too). Except now Lucifer is not really just a friend to be invited over cause sometimes he slept at her palce and so he's already there and it feels just right that he remains. And Dan doesn't really get why they'd invite him over when they're having mom/daughter/step-devil time together but he loves it even if it hurts a bit so he doesn’t say anything. But they still all have that nagging feeling and Linda is probably trying to help Lucifer work through it (he's probably having a hard time enough with the idea he's got feelings for Chloe and she reciprocates. Whatever he's feeling for Dan and the idea it might be mutual do not compute) and Chloe is probably talking with Ella too because she has a slightly better grasp on her feelings and just needs an uninvolved friend to talk with (like is she wanting too much and projecting her feelings on Dan and Lucifer?). Dan probably ends up drunkenly crying into a glass with Maze about it (after they've kicked someone's ass because they were causing a disturbance because meeting with her always means bruises and cuts but they like it). He doesn't quite rember if she was helfpul in the morning but she's giving him a frightening grin the next few days whenever they're in sight of Chloe and Lucifer and he swears to never get drunk again.

Even with all the talking and planning it probably all comes crashing down one single evening they're together with Trixie. They’re sitting at the table and they're talking and not paying attention and it takes a moment but they notice Lucifer and Chloe have both grasped Dan's hands and no one questioned it for those first few seconds. They awkwardly break it off but everyone's hands are left itching and Dan almost sits on his hands. Lucifer and Chloe end up holding hands and if Dan hadn't put his under the table they know they'd absentmindedly try to grab at him again. When they're done eating Dan shoots up and starts gabbing plates and Chloe puts a hand on his arm like "chill I'll help you" and she squeezes her hand once and then it moves on her own when it comes up and slides down a little and it feels so much like a caress and Lucifer can feel the shiver that runs through Dan from across the table. And he’s tempted to do run a hand down his back to see if he does it again and Chloe is probably is having the same idea. The final nail in the coffin is probably Lucifer saying he gotta check on Lux and kisses Chloe on his way out and turns around to say goodbye to Dan too but he’s not thinking and he just stamps a kiss on his lips too. And Dan closes his eyes and leans in. Probably realizes what's he's doing and pulls away and looks at them like he thinks they're both about to kill him. Lucifer closes the door and says Lux can wait and Trixie is in bed so Chloe says it's maybe time they have a tal.

Bonus Lucifer freaking out when he starts getting friendly with Dan. And Lucifer freaking out while his relationship with Chloe progresses. And both Chloe and Dan helping him in both situations with the other. And also Dan and Chloe having a crisis and adjusting to frienship and feelings coming back and they stomp them down because they think they’re just being irrational and don’t want to ruin everything. And Dan has a crisis over Lucifer because oh fuck he was a dick to him because he was jealous over Chloe and now he’s pulled his head out of his ass and they get along and then his stupid ass is having feelings for him too. But he’s making those damn big puppy eyes at Chloe and Chloe is sort of orbiting towards him... tentatively, he reminds himself, because her last relationship was with him and he hurt her so fucking much. So he keeps his clumsy hands away before he finds a way to ruin things for everyone again. And then Lucifer freaks out yet another time because of his new feelings for Dan but he’s still wrangling with the ones he has for Chloe. And depending on when you put this happening exactly in the show there’s potential for more and different drama yay.

[thesinglesjukebox]

ARIANA GRANDE, MILEY CYRUS & LANA DEL REY - DON'T CALL ME ANGEL

[3.69]

"Independent Women Part III: No Throttle"...

Josh Buck: Absolutely not. [2]

Katie Gill: "Don't Call Me Angel" is a fun piece of movie credits music. There's nothing special here, but it's a jam of a song that would fit perfectly well in the already established oeuvre of middle-of-the-road yet totally serviceable movie tie-in songs. Two of the singers know exactly what sort of song they're in and give it the sultry, radio-friendly, sexy spin the song needs. The third is Lana Del Rey and her inclusion BAFFLES me. This is so far out of her wheelhouse that it's hilarious. Seriously, was Selena Gomez busy or something? The music video for Demi Lovato's "Confident" was practically an audition piece for this type of thing, why the heck isn't she here? [6]

Thomas Inskeep: Ariana does some Grande karaoke, Miley sounds like she'd rather be singing "I Love Rock 'n' Roll," and Lana teleports in to do another take on her breathy schtick (and brings the song to a screeching halt in the process) -- nothing about this, apart from (I imagine) someone's discussion of market share, makes any sense. There's no cohesion here. There's barely even a song. [2]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: So, so, so cringeworthy. Ariana, Miley and Lana sound like reality music TV contestants who were forced to make a song together one week, couldn't get on the same page and ran out of time to rehearse, but had to release something anyways. Ariana is awkward and lonely on the hook, like she's waiting for help that never comes; Miley comes out of nowhere with a cloying shouted verse; and Lana is off in another world mumbling incomprehensible nonsense. Even the backing track has a nervous manic energy. If you want a good song about Charli(e)'s angels, just listen to this instead. [3]

Michael Hong: In high school, I worked on a group project where the only times we met up were when we decided upon a topic and to actually present the whole piece. Rather expectedly, the whole thing fell apart rather quickly and it was a completely embarrassing experience. "Don't Call Me Angel," gives off the same vibe, like Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, and Lana Del Rey were each given only the title and asked to write something vaguely empowering for women. Each artist sounds like they wrote for a different track and made absolutely no effort to meld styles, instead forcing the producers to try and mash the entire thing together. Even the chorus buries Miley and Lana completely beneath Ariana, perhaps rather wisely as I can't see the group's vocal tones meshing together very well. "Don't Call Me Angel" survives only through the one thing my group never had, natural charisma. [3]

Alex Clifton: How did Ari, Miley and Lana end up in this? I guess it echoes the three Charlie's Angels but this trio doesn't make sense. I can see how individual duets would've worked; Ari and Lana could've done something slow and spacy, Ari and Miley taking a more upbeat route, Lana and Miley singing something retro. This, sadly, doesn't play to anyone's strengths and just ends up being overproduced mush with a decent riff. If I had to pick any artist who could make this song make sense, it would be Rihanna, and the music video would be her in thirteen different outfits kicking ass. [3]

Joshua Copperman: I didn't realize how dated the Max Martin sound was until hearing "Don't Call Me Angel." Pop music is now either created with substance(s) or has substance thrust upon it. Meanwhile, the lyrics are clunkier than ever, "you know we fly/but don't call me angel" no longer endearing melodic math but shallow feminist lip service at a time when "if you feel like a girl/then you real like a girl" can sneak onto a major label record. It's the first time I can't listen to a Martin production without thinking of this unexpectedly poignant stand-up segment about Martin and Cosmopolitan. When the tropical house is so bland, further lyrics stick out more; Miley's pre-chorus ("Do I really need to say it/Do I need to say it again") is lazy, and Ari's vampire metaphors are just baffling. Lana comes out strongest, someone who seldom charts but has more cultural relevance than the former and is much hipper than the latter. Her verse is classy when Ari is unmemorable and Miley cribs from a Rihanna album reject from four years ago. "Angel", though, feels like a reject from 2013, when Miley was in her imperial phase and Ari was just breaking out from Nickelodeon -- in fact, it probably would have had Rihanna instead of Lana at that time. But no matter what trio, one thing is clear: with this lemon, you cannot make Marmalade. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: Remember, "Independent Women Part I" stopped the otherwise great song dead on the bridge to announce it was commissioned for CHARLIE'S AAAAAAANGELS, so "Don't Call Me Angel" earns points already for not doing that. It keeps its product placement to outside context, namely the fact that the song exists despite the three artists having little in common besides having stanbases and sniping at critics. The disparate styles can work together -- see the "Lady Marmalade" remake, unfairly maligned except by a few -- but here there are only anti-synergies. Miley's verse can't decide if she wants to be the track's Mya or the Pink (probably the better idea), but its bluntness also best fits the backing track. Ariana's sighed, harmonized "angel" is a great millennial R&B hook, but one that outside of an R&B song is starved for air. Lana's bridge, though a complete non-sequitur and only empowering if you squint, is also the most sonically charged thing she's done in ages; if there isn't a reason Lana Del Rey hasn't worked with Max Martin beyond "Lust for Life" (I suspect that there is), that wouldn't be the worst career direction. Everyone's part diminishes everyone else's, the exact opposite of what you need from an event single or a Charlie's Angels shine-theory ad. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Every big pop collab feels a little unnecessary -- pop stars work based on the idea that they're the center of the universe, and collaborations by their very nature make that seem silly. But this sounds really, really unnecessary. Two artists coming off career highs (and one coming off of "Cattitude") should at least drive some head-to-head comparison, but none of the three credited artists interact in any meaningful way. It's the Batman V. Superman of pop music -- conflict and chemistry built mostly on reputation rather than action, with nothing to defend unless you're an unabashed stan. [2]

Joshua Lu: In which Lana Del Rey learns that her reward for releasing her magnum opus is the opportunity to limp through a thank u, next reject. Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus's voices already feel unbalanced, but Lana's mushy croons are so inapposite that they grind the song to a halt. [3]

Scott Mildenhall: It rattles along satisfyingly, but this never leaves the marks that the intermittent brass punctuation seems to signify. None of that is aided by how Del Rey, unbending in her lack of persona, has to be deployed in the manner of a guest rapper, wheeled on and off through a side door. The inability to sound at home with her collaborators in the way they do with each other is one thing, but the inability to sound anything other than lifeless in the face of them is another, and that's the precise opposite of what's called for. [6]

Will Adams: As out of place as she may seem on paper, Lana's bridge is the only point where the song becomes interesting: the key dips even more minor, and the arrangement has tangible cinematic sweep. The rest is a cluttered shamble of an Ariana Grande album cut, with her and Cyrus trading off lines with all the dubious empowerment of a Barb Wire quote. [4]

Jackie Powell: All right folks get ready for a sports metaphor, because it's coming. Ariana Grande is a bit of a ball hog on this track. What she doesn't seem to understand is if you are going to lead your team, you've got to provide the proper assist to each of your teammates. To me, saving Del Rey until the two-minute mark supports the idea that these "angels" aren't really meant to work together. I thought the purpose of this was to present a team of strong women looking to take on the world via a song that preaches empowerment for this new wave of both feminism and Charlie's Angels films. Where a point guard should pass the ball and set up her teammates on the wings (no pun intended) and under the rim, Grande instead takes all of the shots. When the mic is pointed toward Cyrus after Grande's opening hook, though, she shoots with simultaneous finesse and power, letting her head voice mix well with the potent sound in her chest. If I was reviewing the visual made to accompany "Don't Call Me Angel," Hannah Lux Davis' treatment would receive a [10]. Grande, Cyrus and Del Rey all exude a mystique, ooze sex and expel power. For a Charlie's Angels theme song, that's right on the money. But what confuses me lyrically is how the hook clearly communicates the theme, even nodding to Destiny's Child, but the verses, bar maybe Cyrus', are underwhelming. The clock-tower cowbell loop that runs through and through grabs my attention, but I think Kristen Stewart could write better poetry. [6]

[Read and comment on The Singles Jukebox]

[definitelynotscott]

WIP game: life, blue, and/or help !

:D

Secrets

The banked rage in his heart flickered to life, and he set his tumbler on the table because he didn’t want to test its strength.

“Can I come in?” she asked, voice subdued, serious blue-green eyes looking up at him from under her golden lashes.

He chose the two-tiered dangly kind with a hook clasp and golden glass chips to match her hair, since he had never determined if her eyes were blue or green.

She was wearing a strapless dress in a blue so pale that at this distance it looked white except in the folds and valleys of the fabric.

He couldn’t help but smile back.

Understanding lit her eyes and he couldn’t help but grin.

Inheritance

Draven inquires about her love-life. (from the summary/outline)

To-Write List

(Please remember that while some of the stories in here haven’t been written because I’m slow, some of the stories in here haven’t been written because the initial idea just wasn’t that strong.) Cut for length. Like. There’s just over 39 pages. There were going to be a lot of hits. Some of these I’ve posted about before so I’ll come back in the morning and edit in links, but I’m tired now.

I guess I’m here to light up your life, but maybe not like you expect. (Soulmate AU II)

Okay, so he was a dick, saddling her with, essentially, a mark that called her a whore her whole life, but was she really planning to avoid speaking to him forever? (Soulmate AU V)

“How’s married life?” (Soulmate AU XIII)

And even when you’re a good liar “Ha ha, you’re my friend, and he’s a big part of your life, so of course I’m interested…” will only take you so far. (Soulmate AU XIV)

Ezreal hasn’t really thought about the sudden appearance of Darius in Lux’s life, he’s busy concentrating on his studies (and Taric, but…). (Some college AU)

Lux walks in on Garen and Darius trying to kill each other but mistakes it for another activity entirely. Garen doesn’t deny it, in fact goading her into making Darius’ life hell by acting emotionally vulnerable (“I wanted something more than physical”) (Wow you get the entire prompt for this one. Also a College AU)

All he wants is to show Lux how grateful he is to have her in his life. (Established Relationship AU/Starting Their Own Business AU/Unplanned Pregnancy AU)

Domestic Life in Noxus sort of thing where an assassin and an “information broker” get married because the landlord is only renting to married couples. (I actually posted about this one before!)

But she feeds him and keeps him safe like she would have for Jane, and makes snarky comments about his dad and all the unhealthy people in his life, and she starts to grow on him. … And they’re having one of their sniping little conversations like they do, and she pulls up the “upgrade to PAID” line, and there’s a pause and he says “…I could pay you…” kind of reaching out to the one non-toxic person in his life. … While she’s sending out applications and going for interviews she’s texting Justin to make sure he’s eating and sleeping, and giving him little pep talks about not abandoning his dreams and not letting the toxic SOBs around him direct his life. … Then Justin is kidnapped by unsavory types and Darcy A) can’t tell anyone because then she’d have to fess up about talking to Justin all the time and she’s sure they’d assume she’s a traitor and B) why would Tony help Justin anyway? (That Darcy Thing I Outlined Here.)

Being in prison is essentially a monastic lifestyle he didn’t choose. (Overwatch Thing I Posted.)

She’s double insulted since he should know she can make his life hell, and that she can be happy in whatever circumstances. (One of many Arranged Marriage AUs (but not quite so many that I’ve busted out the Roman numerals yet.))

They save her a bag when the gym gets crowded, and help her brush off a follower. … Garen immediately leaves to look for spare garments in the car, as everyone can see her bra is see-through blue mesh. … They listen to music supplied by Professor Heimerdinger (Space Jam, Commander Thinks Aloud, Blue & Beautiful, etc.) … Slow-dance to Blue & Beautiful. (College AU/Gym Rat AU)

Gifts would appear out of nowhere, usually in a plain box, but once you opened it the wrappings were bold, obvious, Demacian blue and gold. (Kind of a Lux-being-a-stalker AU)

Conjoined households are seen as lower class because A) if you’re high ranked you’ll be stationed in the city, B) if you’re strong enough you can defend your household without help. (More of me making up weird societal rules about marriage because that’s fun for me.)

OKAY WE’RE SKIPPING THIS ONE. O///O (But the word was “help” - not “helping” or “helped” but “help.”)

A big old fish is just as likely to toss itself over the edge without her help (and without knocking her over the railing) so she stays inside. … He helps where he can (he can use the railings like parallel bars and kind of walk himself down using his hands, but he’s also kind of banged up from getting thrown against a lighthouse. (Lighthouse Keeper/Merman AU)

This one I was working on with someone else so IDK if I should share it, but it pinged on “help”.

Lux always completes her assignments above and beyond the call of duty, but with so little help, hope, experience, and cooperation (from both her superiors and her “clients”) her edges are beginning to fray… (Kinda… a Public Defender AU? Also a “DANG IT WHY ARE THERE ALL THESE “NOXUS WINS HERE ARE THE HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES” AUs AND NO “DEMACIA WINS AND HERE ARE THE HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES” AUs” AU)

Sequel: Darius is assigned to help Cassiopeia with Shurima because his Demacian tattoos will strike fear, but what happens when Demacians descend upon them? (Sequel to a Pirate AU where the Demacians are the Pirates (”Harsh justice of the sea” anyone?))

Ezreal and Janna decide to helpfully “prove” that she should avoid an arranged marriage. (Obviously an Arranged Marriage AU)

Draven’s thrilled, really wants to help with the wedding plans. (Double-Blind Marriage AU/Arranged Marriage AU)

“If you’re going to half my storage space I’m going to have you help me translate the ancient Demacian parts,” he said, sounding amused. (Magic Made Them Do It story, but set after “The Incident.”)

Ezreal is helping Jayce construct a device (recreate Ekko’s device?) (De-aging story)

OKAY WE’RE SKIPPING THIS ONE TOO. O///O (It’s not even that bad, I’m just easily embarrassed.) Pinged on “helping”.

But it’s a personal issue, so she’s willing to help. (Draven playing matchmaker AU)

He can’t help but agree internally. (Vampire/Werewolf AU)

…bathing him to help him smell more like pack. (We’ll just, uh, clip this one a little bit… ^^; )

KAT REALIZES SHE INHERITED HER FATHER’S JOB OF HELPING TALON INTERFACE WITH SOCIETAL STANDARDS (”Accidental” Baby Acquisition that I’ve mentioned before.)

[luminaluxecreamreview]

Lumina Luxe Cream Reviews: Light Up Your Skin's Beauty!

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As the skin ages, demands more and other essential moisture and collagen to remain healthy. And, of course, the more you keep skin healthy, the more beautiful to be able to be. As quickly as are applying the cream, you'll feel its beneficial effects occurring upon your skin. It really is going feel lighter and cleaner, and you will find a pleasant glow. Wrinkles will be less noticeable, all with Lumina Luxe Cream's age-reversing properties. But, this always be the beginning of what you'll stumble on. The longer you continue to utilize the formula, the more visible improvements take stage. Better yet, this procedure avoids the pain and worth of injections! Rather than have collection foot within a clinic; apply it at home, as part of your convenience. Desire to get the one?

Lumina Luxe Cream Reviews

This powerful formula is definitely commanding attention from celebrities and other places. In fact, just about every one belonging to the users we've spoken to has given Lumina Luxe Anti Aging Cream glowing praise! They have said they saw noticeable effects in under a month. It was designed specifically to supply visible benefits as safely and quickly as most likely. But, even more importantly, these benefits are long-lasting, unlike many competing products could possibly find. Now we have the best offer on the market, and it's too good to work! More people check us out every day, hoping fork out the most inexpensive Lumina Luxe Cream Final price! Don't let others snipe you when you're already correct!

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Gets Associated with Crow's Feet, Dark Spots, And More

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[mermaidsirennikita]

Chances are that once queenie croaks the monarchy goes with her. Liz II really is the last royal you can respect and accept as sovereign, while neither Charles, nor his sons or anybody in the family has this air about them. They don't have that true monarch inner stamina, like Liz, they just look and feel like some posh well groomed people. But like Kings? Nuh. I'm not sure monarchy will survive for long past Liz II's death imho. It's very outdated already and holds on Liz being a trooper.

What’s this “air” lol?  The Windsors are no different from you and me, and never have been--they’re just more inbred and lucky.  

If polls and the amount of money Kate and William’s wedding and babies have brought in are any indication, the monarchy is more popular than it has been in a long time.  Elizabeth is not great catch of a person, imo--she’s been tone deaf in the past, was actually not that great a parent by all accounts, which can account for some of the less than intelligent decisions her children have made, and made some truly horrible decisions in the immediate aftermath of Diana’s death.  People tend to forget that the most universally iconic person from that family was not originally from that family, hated it, and left it.  I don’t doubt that Elizabeth is loved in England by many, but she’s not so popular in countries that her nation used to colonize--India still wants those jewels back girlie!--and here in the U.S. a lot of people consider her Diana’s bitchy mother-in-law who just should have let Charles marry who he wanted vs. bringing some 20 year old virgin into the mess that family was.  I think pretty regularly the most popular people in the family are, according to surveys, Elizabeth, William, and Harry.  The younger generation have been more emotionally open to the public than anyone was before them--which is good.  It makes them look less like freaks of nature who are all a part of a tiny gene pool and more like normal people.  Henry generated a ton of good will for the family by serving in the military as normally as he could.  William and Kate’s babies have been welcomed in MY country by various landmarks lighting up pink or blue.

Elizabeth isn’t a monster, but she is a remnant of a time when the monarchy was cold and inaccessible and frankly horrendous at times.  When she was growing up the family was a fucking mess--her grandfather wasn’t a great parent, her father was thrust into a role he shouldn’t have had to take on, her uncle was a Nazi sympathizer who sniped at his family for the rest of his life because his Nazi sympathizer life wasn’t as luxe as he wanted it to be.  Margaret lived a miserable life in part because Elizabeth wasn’t as supportive of her as she wanted and in part because Margaret probably had a lot of mental health issues naturally that weren’t tended to because God forbid the royal family look weak, so she married a wastrel and descended into alcoholism.  Philip is a racist who people just sort of brush off because it’s cute that old people do that.  And Elizabeth... might not have as many direct issues as everyone else because she doesn’t let them out.  But she lets it happen.  She turned a blind eye to her son being absolutely miserable with the choice she pressured him into making; she ignored public outcry for a more emotional response to the death of her grandson’s mother because she was no longer a part of the family.  Elizabeth was--and is, though she’s gotten better--incredibly out of touch.  Her daughter-in-law caught the public imagination, did more charitable work than anyone in that family ever did, and revitalized that family.  The Windsors were so desperate for relevancy that they tried to make Charles *CHARLES* the “adventure man” playboy prince when really he was a super shy virgin who couldn’t drive until he met Camilla.  And even then for the large part he was pretty much stuck on that woman and that’s why he’s married to her decades later.  

William and Harry could be as quiet and withdrawing as they obviously want to be, but people would still love them and still want to know how they are because they’re Diana’s sons.  Because love her or hate her, she was pursued.  People wanted to know her.  And now the boys are doing things like bringing attention to mental health problems, working with the homeless--Harry had an HIV test done on Facebook Live.  It may not be regal, but it’s human; and that’s what people want more than anything else.

If they could leapfrog over Charles they probably would, but they can’t and William very obviously does not want that.  But unless there is an actual movement on the government’s part to get rid of the monarchy (which I doubt there will be) they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.  And again I take issue with this idea of regality because the Windsors are basically a gigantically fucked up family who are lucky that they ruined the right lady’s life and had her long enough to get two princes out of her. 

[jonathanbelloblog]

First Drive: 2019 Hyundai Veloster N

NÜRBURG, Germany — Soon, U.S. buyers will be privy to the 2019 Veloster N, giving us our first stab at Hyundai’s go-fast sub-brand. Though with-or-without the U.S., this is quite the landmark car for Hyundai. Forget the charming but clumsily marketed Genesis Coupe (you should) and the effortlessly lame Tiburon (you really should)—this, along with the fraternal i30 N, is the first real-deal performance effort from Seoul. More accurately, it’s the first performance offering from the Namyang R & D center, the namesake of the fresh sub-brand. In a pinch, N also stands for Nürburgring, that hellacious, graffiti-covered circuit you’ve read about a couple trillion times. It was here on this inimitable vehicular whetstone where we sampled the 2019 Hyundai Veloster N for the first time, knocking off two semi-clumsy laps before hitting the autobahn.

Thanks to overexposure in the early 00s and the inherent proletariat nature of the ‘Ring, hosting a launch there is almost prosaic. Everyone who is anyone tests at the ‘Ring, including Rolls-Royce–and those ships handle like a platter of foie gras. However, in in this case, hosting it at any other venue would feel insincere. Thanks to calculated corporate sniping, we reckon there’s as much German DNA in N products as there is Korean, starting with N mastermind Albert Biermann.

Poached from his longtime post at BMW’s M division, Beirmann worked on the brand’s big-bore weapons. Word on the street (and from some Koreans in attendance) is that Biermann is given almost free reign over N with fellow BMW expatriates, including Thomas Shemera, former U.S. head of BMW M, and Fayez Rahman, BMW’s former development chief for 7 Series, X family, and M cars.

The handsome i30 N was the first fruit from this strange Germanic-Korean hybrid. The Veloster N is more or less mechanically identical, featuring the same powertrain, transmission, and performance hardware. In keeping with the hot hatch formula, power comes from a pumped-up 2.0-liter turbo four-banger, originally sourced from the milquetoast Sonata. In base N-spec, power is 250 hp and 260 lb-ft of torque, but keen buyers can make the jump to the optional performance package, boosting output to 275 hp.

All of this oomph is routed to the front wheels and managed primarily by a snappy six-speed manual transmission. For the moment, full technical specs aren’t available, but considering the Veloster Turbo R-Spec spins the needle to 2,833 pounds, we estimate the N weighs just over 3,000 pounds thanks to all that additional speed hardware.

There are other goodies under that sharp three-door skin. Four distinct drive modes interact with an electronically adjustable suspension and the throttle mapping, depending on mood (or hurry). Starting from Eco and ending at the mighty “N” setting, drivers can pick settings a-la-carte for the requisite N Custom mode. Instead of relying on a supplier like Brembo or Wilwood, the N’s brakes are pulled from the larger K5—known to us Yanks as the Kia Optima. Ignore the optional extras and the car arrives wearing 18-inch wheels with Michelin Pilot Super Sports.

You’re smarter than that, however. You listened to us, and saved enough cash for the optional performance pack, adding the aforementioned power bump to 275 hp. Additionally, wheels are upsized to 19-inches, get shod with flytrap-like Pirelli P Zeros developed special for the N cars, and hide a set of slightly larger brakes. An active exhaust provides delicious crackles on the overrun, and the suspension and steering are tweaked for sharpness. Crucially, this pack slots an electronically controlled differential between the front two wheels, replacing the open diff of the base car.

Equipped as so, performance is impressive. Hyundai says 0-62 mph takes just over 6.0 seconds on its way to a 155 mph, but we’re sure those figures are very, very conservative. Just take it from my co-driver, who hit an indicated 164 mph on an unrestricted portion of the Autobahn (I saw only a piddling 158 mph).

To help manage all this speed, the Veloster N is augmented with a suite of trick electronic gizmos and widgets. There’s standard launch control to show-up any stoplight challengers, while a shift light indicator sits at the top of the gauge cluster to make sure you don’t bounce off the redline. Rev-match downshifting is included as well, and it’s one of the best implementations we’ve used thus far, toggled by a button on the right side of the steering wheel.

On the ‘Ring, it’s even more impressive. Our two-lap sessions were governed by a trained driver who led in an i30 N, ensuring our paint (and skin) remained unmarred, but we shouldn’t have worried. As it turns out, the Veloster N is exceedingly neutral and very user friendly. Both laps were executed in no-nonsense N mode, with suspension set to its stiffest and the exhaust wedged open. Some complained the top-spec suspension mode was entirely too stiff, but this might be venue-specific, as the N setting may be best suited to a glassy smooth circuit.

Out amongst the Ring’s roughly 170 corners, the Veloster N was as unflappable as a front-wheel-drive car can be. It cornered flat with a reassuring lack of understeer. The optional e-diff plays a large part in this—just point toward the corner exit, mash the throttle, and instead of nasty scrub, you’ll scramble out of the curve. The steering is light and slightly artificial, but Biermann worked hard to optimize the electric-boosted rack, relocating the motor from the column to the rack, improving feedback.

One of the defining portions of the Nürburgring is the moment you slingshot out of ­Galgenkopf and find yourself pointed down the Döttinger Höhe straight, where the most powerful in attendance crack the 200 mph barrier. In the Veloster, our guide kept us right around 140 mph, but we weren’t complaining. Entering Hoehenrain at the end of the straight, the brakes were still going strong. Firmness and stopping power is excellent, with minimal feedback during haul-downs from high speed.

Out on the uncannily smooth roads of Germany, the N shined even brighter. This time, Sport was the setting of choice, balancing better ride quality and road composure with still impressive cornering stiffness. It sounds the part too, with staccato crackles on the overrun if you stick the exhaust open in the settings or simply set it in N mode.

164 mph in the 2019 Veloster N is an alarmingly poised affair, mostly free of lane wander and unwanted steering movement. Being a passenger also gave me time to visually explore the N-exclusive features of the cockpit, including the all-new steering wheel. The sport wheel wears two large Performance Blue buttons on either side, one for selecting drive modes and the other dedicated to toggling N mode. Along with a new shifter, there’s exclusive “performance” gauges and Performance Blue accents spread throughout the cabin. The snug cloth seats are N-specific too, offering comfortable support without reducing daily usability.

Pricing has yet to be announced, so we’re not entirely sure where the Veloster N sits against competitors. Still, its power, performance, and hardware automatically elevates it above the Civic Si, Focus ST, Volkswagen Golf GTI, and even the all-wheel-drive WRX. Dynamically, it’s not quite a sharp as the indomitable Honda Civic Type R or Subaru WRX STI, but feels faster and more agile than the porkier Focus RS and luxe Golf R. If pricing sits near the predicted $30,000 mark, the Veloster N occupies an in-betweener segment of its own design.

Job well done, then. Under the wizened gaze of Germans, the team in Namyang created Korea’s first full-bodied performance offering, free of any traces of simulacra or compromise. The 2019 Hyundai Veloster N a testament to the marque’s unrelenting march toward toppling the status quo and bodes well for its future.

2019 Hyundai Veloster N Specifications

ON SALE Fall 2018 PRICE $30,000 (base) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/250-275 hp @ 6,000 rpm, 260 lb-ft @ 1,450 rpm TRANSMISSION 6-speed manual LAYOUT 3-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, FWD hatchback EPA MILEAGE N/A L x W x H 167.9 x 71.3 x 55.1 in WHEELBASE 104.3 in WEIGHT 3,063 lb 0-62 MPH 6.1 sec TOP SPEED 155 mph

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