#OT3: The Devil The Miracle and The Douche

[casimania]

They share one single braincell and Chloe is in charge of it.

It’s a daily struggle and it definitely gets lost a lot.

[casimania]

Lucifer moodboard » Chloe/Dan/Lucifer + lazy mornings

[casimania]

Dan: Lucifer didn't respond to my love letter.

Chloe: I'm not surprised.

Chloe: Who starts a love letter with 'yo dude'?

[casimania]

Lucifer: Daniel, I’m so happy I could kiss you!

Dan: [nervous laughter] Uhm.... Neat!

(Later)

Dan: [lying face down on his bed] I can’t believe I said ‘neat’, Chloe. ‘Neat.’ Nobody says ‘neat’ anymore! It’s the goddamn 21st century! It’s not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because I’m a huge fucking loser!

Chloe: [idly turns book page] Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Lucifer confessed to me?

Dan: Didn’t you like, thank him?

Chloe: [closes book to stare at the ceiling] I thanked him.

[casimania]

YOU KNOW ITS GOTTA BE THE OT3 FOR THE ASK GAME 😍

Yessss! Domestic ship meme for Chloe/Dan/Lucifer below!

who reaches out to new neighbors: Unexpectedly… Maze! She keeps tabs on who comes and goes even better than Lucifer and is even faster than him at going for a snoop, it was her job to watch his back for a long time after all, ansd she watches out for Trixie too now (does the same for Linda and Charlie). The neighbors are probably confused and concerned like “is the scary lady part of the family??”. Chloe then makes Lucifer, Dan and Trixie come with her do a normal greeting-the-neighbors thing. But because Lucifer is Lucifer it turns out in another interrogation without the neighbors noticing (Maze is good at figuring out if they’re shady but Lucifer finds all the juicy, dirty little secrets). Chloe and Dan have to steer him away.

who remembers to buy healthy food: Since Dan started working on the abs he’s been keeping an eyes on his food more carefully and trying a healthier eating pattern too, except he tends to forget a lot when it’s time to restock. Chloe is better at remembering the list they make in time and following it so Dan writes down the stuff and Chloe reminds everyone when it actually has to be bought. Lucifer just wants to order whatever they need. But they want for Trixie to grow up doing normal stuff like groceries runs. They probably regret it when Lucifer turns out to be just a very tall Trixie and they just try shoving whatever they fancy inside the cart and it’s a constant battle (but he’s also easily disarmed by like, hand holding. Chloe reaches over and grabs his hand and he just spends the whole time looking down in wonder at their hands and looking up at Chloe with a big grin. Dan pushes the cart with Trixie balances either in front of it or between it and Dan and occasionally getting him to speed down an aisle). He does win them over some times they’re all ran to the ground by a case and the idea of crawling out of the house is physically painful.

who remembers to buy junk food: Lucifer, Trixie and Dan have the biggest sweet tooth ever (Lucifer has varied tastes while Trixie inherited Dan’s more focused tastes except it’s chocolate cakes instead of puddings, they sometimes vary but those things reappear frequently) and Lucifer and Trixie like junk food in general so no one ever forgets about restocking it. This time Lucifer definitely orders it (especially the pudding, between all the stealing it runs out fast at the precinct).

who fixes the oven when it breaks: Dan is that Dad™who insists on trying to fix things himself to teach Trixie to be self-reliable except sometimes it’s stuff he doesn’t actually know how to fix so he googles it or asks around and it’s a hit or miss. He either patches it up until the next break or fuckign destroys the thing (with familiar things he’s better). Also I like to think it’s a Dan thing in general, like “I can do this myself!!” except sometimes he overestimates and it ends up with a “oh no. oh fuck” (he gets steadily better at accepting help). Chloe is like, “Baby please just call a professional, they exist for a reason, you can teach Trixie how to fix a shelf or something” and she’s got 4 numbers ready from the start. Lucifer is a “throw the whole thing away” guy because he uses it as an excuse to renovate and add something new. But he lets Dan huff around because it’s amusing (and seeing Dan get to work reminds him he’s seen a few pornos starting like that, so another thing to add to his fantasies fodder) but he’s also curious about any parent-daughter interaction. So the whole thing takes a turn for the wholesome seeing Dan trying to explain stuff to Trixie (he still fantasizes about sweaty Dan in a tanktop grunting and wiggling his ass in the air to check inside the oven later).

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s): Their lives don’t really match up with a pet but they’ve got plants and Chloe is their lifeline. She goes away for a fun Tribe thing and tells everyone to water the plants. They all forget. The day she’s scheduled to come back they panic, “Can’t we just put a lot of water all at once??”, cue Trixie accidentally making a few vases overflows and Chloe comes back to them frantically mopping the floor (it gets funnier the smaller number of plants they have).

who wakes up earlier: Lucifer can’t not sleep but he can get by on minimal sleep, so he often wakes up and lays in bed blissed out enjoying snuggling with his loves. Wake up as in up and leaves the house, it’s Dan. He either hits the gym or the beach for surfing most mornings before work so he’s up real early. Chloe and Lucifer roll around and go back cuddling.

who makes the bed: Lucifer always neatly tucks it in before leaving the house if he’s the last one to go (very fussy devil, he likes making messes but he also likes having everything restored to tidyness after). Chloe is more of the ‘just haphazardly pull the covers up’ before leaving type (mostly to set  somewhat of a good example for Trixie). Dan barely bothers and is the one that always forgets when it’s actually time to change the covers.

who makes the coffee: Lucifer is the one cooking most times so he also makes breakfast and has always coffee ready for Dan and Chloe when they wake up. He’s neutral on it but he starts drinking it regularly because he enjoys when they’re all standing against the counter and Chloe and Dan have these sleepy expressions with half lidded eyes but they sip on the coffee and smile or hum happily against the mug (it’s small cozy moments like these that make him feel all fluttery and content inside, the Devil likes to be painfully domestic). He knows exactly how they take their coffee but he’s also real good at figuring out what else they’d like so he’s always making them trying fancy new stuff for fun and he basically always hits the mark).

who burns breakfast: Chloe and Dan try to make something extremely elaborated for Lucifer because he’s always cooking for them but they have it in over their heads (and are trying to be quick and silent) and end up burning something while. When Lucifer smells burning stuff he comes barrelling into the kitchen ready for a fight and Trixie trails after him. He’s like, very touched. But then either stirs them away so he can whip up himself the thing they botched, or they still sit him down and feed him waffles or pancakes or something else they know how to do with thier eyes closed. Lucifer loves the idea of preparing stuff for them and surprising them with new things, but also just kicking back, eating whatever they set in front of him and licking syrup off his fingers while one of them stands nearby and absentmindedly runs a hand back and forth through his hair and down his neck… is very nice. He probably falls asleep like that at least once. He doesn’t faceplant in a waffle just because he’s seeking out the hand even in his sleep and doesn’t slump forward too much. It reminds Dan and Chloe of Trixie when she was very little.

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house: Dan bellows everyone’s names and then “I’M LEAVING! BYE!” from the door loud enough to wake the dead. Answers vary gretly depending on the hour he does it (from loving responses from around the house to threats of physical violence if he tries breaking the sound barrier one more time at the ass crack of dawn if he leves early). Chloe pokes her head in whichever room they are and “Guys I’m going!”. Lucifer forget to say anything sometimes but never leaves without a kiss or some nuzzling.

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home: Dan bellows (again) “I’M HOME” as soon as he opens the door. Chloe just says “Hi!” at a normal volume once she’s fully inside. Lucifer barges in screaming “DeeeTeEECtiIIVeeeES” until he finds some of them to kiss. It’s a Thing for him apparently, goodbye kiss and welcome home kiss.

who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often: Lucifer is always getting Dana and Chloe little trinkets and gifts. He started out with more extravagant stuff but they managed to get him to tone it down a little. They vary from sweet or funny to “I know this must be a sex toy but what the hell is it supposed to be exactly??”.

who picks the movie for movie night: They wrote down a ton of movies and put them in a bowl to avoid bicker over it for an entire hour. If Trixie partecipates they let her choose something age appropriate she likes.

their favorite kind of movie to watch: Dan and Lucifer love action flicks (the bloodier and full of ridiculous explosions, one-liners and half naked people the better). Lucifer gets into cheesy romcoms with Chloe (it becomes a shared guilty pleasure, they look for the very outrageous ones). Trixie becomes a sci-fi buff growing up.

who first suggests a pillow fort: Oh man Dan and Trxie are all over it (personal hc that is was sometimes Dan always liked but in his family he got at a certain age where they decided he was too old for it, so they didn’t make them with him and he was embarassed to do one by himself and get caught, so he’s the most enthusiastic next to Trixie and never makes her feel like it’s a thing just for little kids). And angels nesting is a thing in every fandom with angels so it reminds Lucifer a lot of a nest so he gets a little weird about it at first because it reminds him of his sibligns and the Silver City, but gets very into it after a while (which later brings him to feel a little dristessed when they bring the whole thing down, which leads to them helping him build an actual nest).

who builds the pillow fort: In the Decker-Espinoza family Trixie gives directions and Dan and Chloe are the certified builders. With Lucifer thrown in the mix he goes for the aesthetics and so the first color coordinated pillow forts are born, he adds some flair.

who tries to distract the other during the movie: Lucifer with Trixie present = constant running commentary and continuous “pet me” requests (he loves his cuddles but if they get distracted and stop he prods at them until someone starts petting hair or running their hands over his back again, like excuse me! attend to me!). Lucifer without Trixie = naughty wandering hands (he’s very good at multitasking and will try to offer commentary of a movie in the middle of giving oral).

who falls asleep first: When she has a case Chloe is always very keyed up so she drops as soon as she hit the pillow. Lucifer makes an effort to wait for Dan to also fall asleep. He likes knowing they’re all safe and comfortable dozing off near him, and likes falling asleep to the sound of that deep breathing of the dead to the world sleeping.

who is big spoon/little spoon: Lucifer absolutely craves the shit out of being in the middle, something about having someone on his back and front makes him feel incredibly safe and loved and makes sleeping so much easier. Chloe and Dan are very versatile on that front so they swap a lot between being big and little spoon when it’s comfortable to be all squished together.

[casimania]

Man I would love a Lucifer AU where Dan is the Miracle but everything else remains unchanged.

He's still sort of a dirty cop and Chloe is still the one with the movie and the famous mom and dead cop dad and she has Trixie over the most. And instead of Dan being one of the "complicated" ones it's Chloe. Maybe even more so (cause it's Chloe come on), Lucifer is still intrigued by her at first because he knows he has an effect on her but feels her resisting which is always an impressive thing (and she's investigating instead of trying to shut off the case like Dan), and he still starts with the wrong foot with Dan.

Probably doesn't notice immediately his immunity thing because he's occupied solving the case with Chloe while Dan is being bullheaded about it (and he was being a douche so Lucifer didn't even try anything on him). Then he's super suspicious about it and still tends to gravitate around Chloe more because Dan raises so many red flags.

Just.... Lucifer later discovering he's a Miracle like.... his Dad's Miracle is an absolute Douche canoe, doesn't have the brilliant mind someone like Chloe has as a Detective and managed to get in cahoots with a tremendously dirty cop. He's delighted. Take this Dad, your precious Miracle is a complete train wreck.

Also it would be a Chloe/Dan/Lucifer scenario. Lots of confusing and conflicting feelings none of them are prepared for. Especially Lucifer.

[casimania]

Lucifer moodboard » Chloe/Dan/Lucifer + Black and White

[casimania]

Lucifer moodboard » Chloe/Dan/Lucifer + Biker AU

[casimania]

Lucifer moodboard » Chloe/Dan/Lucifer + Only actors’ pics

[casimania]

I wanted to say a couple of things about an AU Dan/Lucifer/Chloe scenario but jfc I ended up writing an entire fic outline... soooo uh here’s 1700 words of OT3 talk whoops

Dan finds himself becoming friendlier with Lucifer and they start spending time together off work. The friendship is not immediate. Maybe it starts with Dan having too many drinks and crashing at the penthouse and in the morning they're both sober but still chill and they talk (Lucifer probably drank and snorted things way too much too and is not back at 100% yet so they have a momentarily truce) Dan can't remember the last time he actually had fun talking with someone like this outside of work and Lucifer finds himself sending him off without any snarky remark. But they're still frenemies with emphasis on the enemies so they act as usual at work. But maybe a couple of days later in a moment of boredom they pick up again what they were talking about that morning and just keep talking. Here and there. And it's not bad. And then Lucifer maybe talks about human things with Linda and something is still bugging him, so he shows up at Dan's place with food and drinks and questions. And they're super weird questions, but Dan is trying to be less of a Douche and Lucifer isn't that bad most of the times and who know what the hell he went through that made him like that. Being a little more understanding couldn’t hurt, right? So he's just like "lay it on me" and he spends the evening answering the randomest questions. And they move from that to again just talking and then it's late and they're stalling because Dan doesn't really want to be alone and Lucifer could technically go have fun at Lux, but he doesn't have to show up tonight and he was actually having fun with Dan too, unexpectedly. And hey, they both love action movies and Dan has action movies ready to be watched. It's easy to just slide on the couch and put one on and then they're running commentary and laughing. Maybe one time Lucifer is feeling antsy and shows up at Dan's place and Trixie's there and she's sooo happy and well, it's not like he hasn't been at Chloe's place with Trixie there, it's still the same sticky urchin. So he stays. And again... it's not bad. Not bad at all. And then people notice the difference in their relationship at work. They're still sniping at each other and Lucifer comes out on top usually and Dan goes off somewhere grumbling but it's... Sort of mellower? And now Dan leaves a cup in the fridge with Lucifer's name but Lucifer keeps taking the one with Dan's name anyway but when he raids the fridge cause he's got the munchies or something he always leaves one single cup for Dan ('What? He gets cranky when he doesn't have his midday snack. Do you want to deal with a cranky Douche? Brrr.'). Chloe is sure she's seem them playing phone games together during a break. Or snickering over a text. And they've suddenly got inside jokes or something like she and Dan did or like she and Lucifer now have.

BUT ALSO Dan is kind of on even ground with Chloe again. When not actively trying to salvage a doomed relationship they manage to build up a better one. Dan is still trying to be a better person and dad and friend and making amends- Chloe feels the difference. It's lighter being with Dan now. She finally feels like he gets her, and when he doesn't he makes a real effort. They hang out even when it's not their together time with Trixie too, without expectations. They just do stuff they enjoy together. And also he's finally not having that weird tiff with Lucifer anymore so once in a while when they're both at her place with Trixie they invite him over. And he still acts weird and says the weirdest things and he makes Trixie laugh and then Chloe and Dan are laughing too and they don’t mind at all. They probably end up hanging out together. Them and Ella, Linda, Maze and then Amenadiel shows up and they pull him cause why not. And Chloe realizes how much she’d missed Dan.

And Lucifer and Chloe have their own relationship building up like in canon too, with all the highs and lows. And suddenly Dan finds himself playing wingman to both of them. Because they're his friend and it’s painful to watch. Chloe knows he's hanging out a lot with Lucifer and Lucifer knows Chloe and him are divorced but they're friends again so they're asking advice. And after a while Dan sort of wants to rip his own hair out becuase he's feeling jealous again but he doesn't really know of which one. It's a more general painful tug whenever he sees them. And he figures it out a little feels selfish and greedy and pulls back from them the closer to admitting their feelings and working things out the romantic way they are. Because he's being weird and doesn't want to ruin things for them because he feels lonely sometimes. And they're worried they've done something to hurt him. They also realize they both miss him so so much. And it's strange, because they're not just missing the times they used to spend apart with him. When they're together and they feel a Dan shaped hole between them. And so they talk to him. Except Dan lies and probably says some bullshit about the dregs of some old jealousy rearing up and maybe worrying about their friendships changing made him retreat because he didn't want to be a dick, but accidentally hurt them anyway and he's sorry. And they don't quite know how to talk about their feelings either so they just go with it for the moment.

They tentatively try to slide back in their routine. But things are different. Now Lucifer and Chloe are spending time together as a couple and... Yep. They're still missing Dan, even now that he’s back at being buddy buddy with both. They end up inviting him while they're together with Trixie the way Dan and Chloe did. (And still do, because even if by now Trixie has accepted they're separated and Chloe is seeing Lucifer they still like those time together and she does too). Except now Lucifer is not really just a friend to be invited over cause sometimes he slept at her palce and so he's already there and it feels just right that he remains. And Dan doesn't really get why they'd invite him over when they're having mom/daughter/step-devil time together but he loves it even if it hurts a bit so he doesn’t say anything. But they still all have that nagging feeling and Linda is probably trying to help Lucifer work through it (he's probably having a hard time enough with the idea he's got feelings for Chloe and she reciprocates. Whatever he's feeling for Dan and the idea it might be mutual do not compute) and Chloe is probably talking with Ella too because she has a slightly better grasp on her feelings and just needs an uninvolved friend to talk with (like is she wanting too much and projecting her feelings on Dan and Lucifer?). Dan probably ends up drunkenly crying into a glass with Maze about it (after they've kicked someone's ass because they were causing a disturbance because meeting with her always means bruises and cuts but they like it). He doesn't quite rember if she was helfpul in the morning but she's giving him a frightening grin the next few days whenever they're in sight of Chloe and Lucifer and he swears to never get drunk again.

Even with all the talking and planning it probably all comes crashing down one single evening they're together with Trixie. They’re sitting at the table and they're talking and not paying attention and it takes a moment but they notice Lucifer and Chloe have both grasped Dan's hands and no one questioned it for those first few seconds. They awkwardly break it off but everyone's hands are left itching and Dan almost sits on his hands. Lucifer and Chloe end up holding hands and if Dan hadn't put his under the table they know they'd absentmindedly try to grab at him again. When they're done eating Dan shoots up and starts gabbing plates and Chloe puts a hand on his arm like "chill I'll help you" and she squeezes her hand once and then it moves on her own when it comes up and slides down a little and it feels so much like a caress and Lucifer can feel the shiver that runs through Dan from across the table. And he’s tempted to do run a hand down his back to see if he does it again and Chloe is probably is having the same idea. The final nail in the coffin is probably Lucifer saying he gotta check on Lux and kisses Chloe on his way out and turns around to say goodbye to Dan too but he’s not thinking and he just stamps a kiss on his lips too. And Dan closes his eyes and leans in. Probably realizes what's he's doing and pulls away and looks at them like he thinks they're both about to kill him. Lucifer closes the door and says Lux can wait and Trixie is in bed so Chloe says it's maybe time they have a tal.

Bonus Lucifer freaking out when he starts getting friendly with Dan. And Lucifer freaking out while his relationship with Chloe progresses. And both Chloe and Dan helping him in both situations with the other. And also Dan and Chloe having a crisis and adjusting to frienship and feelings coming back and they stomp them down because they think they’re just being irrational and don’t want to ruin everything. And Dan has a crisis over Lucifer because oh fuck he was a dick to him because he was jealous over Chloe and now he’s pulled his head out of his ass and they get along and then his stupid ass is having feelings for him too. But he’s making those damn big puppy eyes at Chloe and Chloe is sort of orbiting towards him... tentatively, he reminds himself, because her last relationship was with him and he hurt her so fucking much. So he keeps his clumsy hands away before he finds a way to ruin things for everyone again. And then Lucifer freaks out yet another time because of his new feelings for Dan but he’s still wrangling with the ones he has for Chloe. And depending on when you put this happening exactly in the show there’s potential for more and different drama yay.

[casimania]

Hi for the ot3 ask Chloe/Dan/Lucifer also your blogs amazing

Aw thank you! And thanks for the ask too!!

Also this now turned into A LOT of talking about AU ideas I tend to do this a lot, as long time followers and HINABN folks might know lmao

Who’s the vampire, who’s the werewolf, and who’s the human?: Lucifer is the old as balls vampire, Chloe is the regular human and Dan the recently turned werewolf. They’re private investigators here. The weight of hiding what happened to him to Chloe + how it happened (still got into bad shit with Malcolm) puts a strain on their marriage and they divorce. Things change when the mysteryous nightclub owner Lucifer Morningstar gets involved with Chloe’s job. Dan immediately sniffs out he’s a vampire and tries pushing him away from Chloe casue *DANGER*, Lucifer basically wipes the floor with his ass (older and more powerful), then implies Dan and his inexperience as a werewolf are far more dangeroud for Chloe and Trixie than Lucifer himself is. But then probably either takes pity or is worried Dan could lose control and mess things up for the other monster folk of LA and him (and could actualy hurt Chloe and Trixie) and sort of shows him the ropes. I’m imagining a Vampire: The Masquerade/Shadowhunters deal with the society, like, there is a more or less secret and organized one for beings like them. Dan just went under the radar (was accidentally turned in an isolated place with no witnesses left alive) and then was surprisingly good at dealing with things on his own for someone that basically stumbled into it. Also Lucifer still partners up with Chloe on the job, he just does it at night. Shit gets more fucked up when Malcolm who was previously thought dead turns up like some sort of ghoul or whatever. Also Chloe is pretty pissed at everyone for hiding things for her but this way she manages to have an honest conversation about what Dan has been holding it (cue emotional breakdown for Dan probs lol), also between the time spent working with Chloe and helping Dan Lucifer starts catching the Feels, Dan and Chloe do too for him but also feel guilty because now that they’re on the same wavelenght again and Dan is starting to make things up with Chloe (regarding Malcolm) they also start missing each other. Also Chloe is some sort of anomaly on which vampires Glamouring powers don’t work, instead of being a Miracle. Mama Decker had a spell cast on her or something and Chloe ended up being resistant to vampire mind tricks, and maybe their bite/blood isn’t addictive to her like to other humans.

Who’s the mermaid, who’s the marine biologist trying to capture the mermaid, and who’s the surfer who’s trying to stop them? Lucifer is the mermaid, Chloe is the marine biologist and Dan is the surfer. Lucifer is trying to hide from some Organization™ that wants to study him. Chloe gets hired by them and doesn’t know at first they actually want to do more than just try to interact with him for like science and friendly relations. Dan is her ex husband and local surfer dude who had actually met Lucifer many times before (but they both interacted at a safe distance, like left things around for each other or they both did swimming/diving/surfing tricks as the other watches, Lucifer may or may not have tried to take a bite out of Dan at first). Chloe manages to actually enstablish a dialogue with Lucifer (she’s not wary of him like Dan and actually figures out things about his biology/culture via her job, Dan sort of stumbled into the gift exchanging thing on accident actuall lmao), but then the Organization uses their growing bond to lure him in and capture him and when Chloe realizes he’s now caged and hurt helps him escape but also then tries tracking him down on her own to help him. Lucifer goes to Dan for help who’s lime “oh fuck oh fuck”, his first instict is to finally contact Chloe about the fish person he knows and ask for help BUT figures out she’s working for the Evil Organization, freaks out, and hides Lucifer. After some misunderstandings Chloe figures out Dan is not just being shifty and getting distant/giving her the cold shoulder for no apparent reason, Dan figures out Chloe actually knows the Organization is Big Bad and has been working against them just fine (he was first worried she was in the know, then calmed down and figured out she’s actually a good person and wouldn’t, but then got it into his mind that it meant she didn’t know at all and must be protected at all costs from the truth lest the big bads hurt her. unknowingly to him she’d been kicking ass all along. he tends to get his head up his ass a little bit in this au too lol), and Lucifer figures out Chloe didn’t know the ppl she worked for wanted to hurt him at first and was actually the one that helped him escape (either didn’t see her or was too hurt to remember). They tend kick ass all together and unexpected Feelings happen along the way (the high stakes situation with a lot of secrecy and working with each others thing in particular helped Dan and Chloe deal with the things than caused their marriage to fall apart and they actually manage to fix some of them, especially on Dan’s part).

Who’s the witch who just wants to live alone, who’s the (royal person) who ran away and imposed on the witch’s life, and who’s the knight/whatever tasked with hunting down the (royal person) and bringing them back to the castle? (Bonus: Why did (royal person) run away?): Chloe is basically some sort of sword wielding Witch Detective. Like she has a sword, she has a shield, she can turn you into  a frog, makes potions and wanders around and like catches bad guys and solves mysteries and then retreats to be by herself (she’s been hurt in the past, wanted to be a Knight but during like Knight Academy the Witchy Powers awakened in her and theh booted her out cause Witches should do Witchy Jobs and she said “fuck off” and went to do her thing on her own). Dan was her lover at the time and failed to stand up for her enough when she was booted out and just stood by watched her disappear. Lucifer is the Prince or something with a shitty family who runs away and seeks out Chloe to either help him defeat and Evil relative or just keep his presence hidden with her magic (like idk shroud him from other magic users who might be employed to look for him). Ends up his family and him have their own type of magic (like maybe they just develop a specific power, like he gets the Desire thingie and Amenadiel maybe can’t fully stop time but can slow it down or he can move faster through it or something) and ends partnering up with her (to her initial horror). Dan actually became a better person and capable Knight along the way and gets employed to bring Lucifer back. Manages to track him down to Chloe and they’re all like “oh what the fuck”. There’s a bit of a scuffle but Chloe and Lucifer probs convince him the family is actually shit and it would end up ugly for Lucifer. So he joins them in helping him (Chloe has growing feelings for Lucifer who has growing feelings for her, Lucifer thinks the Douchey Knight isn’t so Douchey, Dan is like “oh man I’ve regretted hurting Chloe for years and was lovesick and now I’m literally dying with her in front of me and holyshittheroyaldudeisFINE, Chloe also likes this improved Dan, like this is a Dan she can vibe with (there’s probably some emotional moment where he’s all fucking in for Chloe without question like he never was before and Lucifer is too and she’s like “I’m not crying you’re crying).

Who’s the dragon, who’s the (royal person) they kidnap, and who’s the knight tasked with slaying the dragon and/or the (royal person)’s betrothed?: (Ok I know Dragon Lucifer feels like the more obvious choice but wait) Dan and Chloe were married and both Knights. Dan went into expedition with some not so nice Knights (Malmcolm and co.) who stole shit from places secretly and he used to uneasily ignore it but then Chloe figured out something was up with Malcolm and followed him, Dan followed her because he knew Malcolm was super dangerous. Some cursed artifact was involved and Dan ended up breaking it trying to stop Malcolm from hurting Chloe. Cue big damn explosion, basically dead Malcolm, confused Chloe and cursed to become a dragon Dan. He keeps his mouth zipped and leaves Chloe to be given the stinkeye by everyone while slowly turning dragony. Chloe and him break things off and he ends up running away to go live in isolation and fully transform. Cue foreign Royal Lucifer waltzing in with his family and Chloe is tasked to protect him but he a Royal Mess. Once they start to have some sort of Understanding DRAGON DAN swipes in and kidnaps Lucifer. Everyone freaks out and Chloe freaking charges after because she doesn’t want to lose another loved one. Dan actually never became a man eating monster, just got a bit of a taste for human meat along other kinds (Lucifer totally makes a lewd joke about it) and a liking for shiny things and hoarding tendencies (Lucifer’s like “oh same”). He just discovered Lucifer’s family actually has magic and is knowledgable in curses and wants him help but could just stroll in and ask for help (maybe there’s a kill dragons on sight law idk) and needs it cause the curse is still progressing and he would very much like to keep his human mindset or even better go back at being human. Chloe probably barrels in ready to save Lucifer from the man eating dragon but he’s like…. lounging somewhere, mocking the dragon who’s off in a corner grumbling and immediately pipes up like “Oh! Hello Knight! We were waiting for you!” (He calls her Knight here) and then Dan’s yelling “CHLOE?!” and Chloe absolutely loses her shit over DAN BEING A FUCKING DRAGON. They probably embark on a quest to help him, discover Lucifer’s family is fucked up and likely won’t help and that Lucifer also has a weird looking form too (probs part of the magic and curses thing, Lucifer was sort of thrown into a magic lake of fire to harness its magic cause he was the only one with the right powerset to do it, like Lightbringer and all, got out all burned out and winged but more powerful, hated his parents for it). The quest becomes also to stop Lucifer’s family. Ends up with Dan ending being able to switch from dragon to human while keeping some dragon features. His dragony tendency are diminished so he’s fine with it in the end.

Who’s the vampire hunter, who’s the werewolf hunter, and who’s the awkward vampire/werewolf hybrid trying to conceal both their crush and their race?: Chloe and Dan are the hunters power ex-couple (Chloe is more knowledgeable on vampires, Dan werewolves. They actually broke off before marriage and may have separated but after a power ended up work together a lot again because they were lethal, doesn’t help the feelings off regret) and then there’s hybrid Lucifer who starts helping Chloe, meets Dan through her and after being a it of a lech with her and back and forth posturing with Dan is like “whoopsie daisies I may have the hots for them both”. Dan and Chloe are actually rather nice hunters and usually got after supernatural folk that has been leaving a literal trail of bodies behind them. But the general attitude of hunters over them all is “Yikes” and hybrids (espeically ones that have no human half) are seen as especially powerful and dangerous so Lucifer is suddenly not so open about who he is. While still trying to help them. He likes them and wants to figure out how much he can trust them (he usually doesn’t hesitate at defending himself over ppl attacking him for what he is, but he’s got this nagging worry about being rejected by Dan and Chloe and having to hurt them to defend himself, also probably has conflicting feelings over believing the treatment of his kind is unjust but also seeing himself as Something Bad and so they wouldn’t be that wrong to want to hurt him). Shit hits the fan when someone who knows what he is actually tries hurting him, Dan and Chloe go fucking apeshit on them and then fuss over Lucifer. A running gag is him being like SUPER GOOD at pretending he is a totally different kind of being at first, or maybe pretending he’s actual half-human and half vampire OR werewolf.

Who’s the person who falls in love first, who’s the person who tries cheering on the other two’s relationship, and who’s the person who’s just oblivious to everything slightly romantic? Generic human!AU where they are a little younger maybe idk? But Lucifer is the one manages to fall for both of them first and fails spectacularly at showing it. Dan just thinks he’s being mocked and Chloe thinks it’s just him trying to get into her pants and will cool off eventually. So Chloe doesn’t realize Lucifer is attempting Romance and than Dan never actually fell out of love with her (they were like high school sweethearts and Dan messed things up in a dumb way like hanging around the wrong people and turning Douchey and they didn’t know how to deal with it and ended up breaking things off and crying over it),mostly not her fault they’re both kind of emotionally trainwrecks at the moment. Dan is trying to be a good bro and help them but then realizes he took the bro out of bromance with Lucifer (Lucifer is actually kinda sad and thinks Dan is not interested in him at all since he’s helping him communicate with Chloe) and he actually really wanted things with Chloe to work back then but messed it up cause dumb teen. Chloe later is still not getting Romance vibes from either of them but seeing them together makes her realize how much she likes them. cue Sadness at thinking Lucifer probably was only in Lust with her at first and now only wants friendship and Dan was only into her more carefree, inexperienced and easier to swipe off her feet teen self (but Dan is less of a Douche now and totally into the total badass she’s turned into, like please swipe ME off my feet ma’am).

[casimania]

Ok but In The Middle by dodie could be such a Chloe/Lucifer/Dan song.

[casimania]

I decided I'm tagging Dan/Chloe/Lucifer "The Devil, the Miracle and the Douche" and Chloe/Dan/Pierce/Lucifer "The Devil, the Immortal, the Miracle and Douche".

[casimania]

I’m a FOOL!! I’ve been tagging the Chloe/Dan/Lucifer ship “OT3: The Devil, the Miracle and the Douche” when they could have been “Detective tol, smol and swole” this whole time.......  fuck

[rainbow-beanie]

Poor Chloe! XD

They share one single braincell and Chloe is in charge of it.

It’s a daily struggle and it definitely gets lost a lot.

[the-queen-of-giving-up]

Oh wow THIS IS SO GOOD I LOVE IT

Hi for the ot3 ask Chloe/Dan/Lucifer also your blogs amazing

Aw thank you! And thanks for the ask too!!

Also this now turned into A LOT of talking about AU ideas I tend to do this a lot, as long time followers and HINABN folks might know lmao

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