#just let the tragedy be more tragic dammit!!

[ieatwormsandtheytasteverygood]

And remember: "to evil end shall all things turn that they begin well"

It never ceases to amuse me that Feanor’s narrative arc ends like THAT.

like this guy is built up to be a genius in 2384739847 different ways, charismatic as fuck, insanely spiritually powerful, made the magical artifacts the book is named after, he’s got Sexy Protagonist Energy for days, you’re only like a few chapters into the actual story of the Silmarillion, so you’re like “yeah, alright, this guy’s our guy, i can’t wait to see what crazy shit he gets up to in Middle-earth, what kind of character development he has–”

and then he gets to Beleriand, tries to fight Satan, and IMMEDIATELY dies. like. Battle #1. he beefs it. literally spontaneously combusts.

AND YOU STILL HAVE MOST OF THE REST OF THE BOOK LEFT. absolutely ICONIC of tolkien to kill his main character in the first third of the story, and then despite elves being able to return from the dead, he literally never does, not even post-canon. NO ONE ELSE CAN PULL THAT OFF. this is SUCH a power move.

….on a more serious note, Feanor’s decisions and motivations leave a huge impact on every other character, almost every other plot point in the entire story can be traced back to what he did, and killing him off not only increases his narrative importance to those he left behind but also makes it impossible for any character to actually confront him or reconcile with him. he’s a ghost throughout the whole rest of the story, but he’s haunting everyone in myriad ways, through the Oath, through the Silmarils, through his sons, through the repercussions of the First Kinslaying, through the unrest of the Noldor and the rebellion against the Valar, through everything.

So like. Feanor might die as soon as he sets foot in Beleriand, which is hilarious from a narrative standpoint - but only at first glance. Because he’s still there for the rest of the story. You can’t escape him, no matter how hard you try.

[phoenixyfriend]

I think there's a really big difference between "I recognize and respect what the canon is trying to do, but I'll write this thing that goes against it anyway because that's what makes me happy" and "I do not recognize or respect what the canon is trying to do, and am going to do what I like because it makes me feel like I'm smarter than canon."

The former is Anidala writers who just want the sweet and fluffy domesticity in a no-66 AU, because we know it was meant to be toxic and tragic but DAMMIT let us have this. We know they're fucked up and a big part of the message and tragedy is that they're fucked up, but we want to live, if only for a few hours, in that dream Vader had in that one comic l, where Padmé was Supreme Chancellor and they had a son named after Qui-Gon who was also a Jedi. We know it's a dream and a fantasy but It Makes Us Happy.

The latter is people who write the New Mandalorians as enacting cultural genocide and lionize the True Mandalorians because why treat a complex political situation with nuance when you can use a Bad Animation Decision as an excuse to say that Actually the guys with guns are the morally correct party.

"I don't get why people write Anidala as this happy domestic--" delusion is fun and can make you feel better and that's fine if you aren't hurting anyone

"I don't get why people rewrite Satine to reject Mando'a when she speaks more of it than any other named character in TCW and all the signage and writing is in the Mandalorian alphabet--" malice and misogyny, probably

Sometimes, a girl's just gotta complain

[infernal-heart]

somebody in the comments said “it’s crazy that Asgore can actually tank the real knife” and I know it’s probably just part of the wider glitch going on her but like.

honest to god I think he probably could. like I know he gets btfo’d in real kill everything runs but like. Asgore is not a fucking slack. I see people talking about this a lot but like. despite his kindly demeanor and his malewife boyfailure personality, Asgore is still the king of the fucking monsters for a reason. he is the strongest monster. at least in my mind. he’s just always holding back when we see him fight.

I don’t remember the exact quote but afaik there’s a quote where Undyne says about Asgore training her that she couldn’t even hit him. Which, yeah, makes it sadder that he’s letting himself be stabbed by a child, but it’s also ultimately a credit to his own personal strength in battle when he isn’t deliberately nerfing himself/holding himself back.

I think that’s one aspect of Asgore’s character I don’t see talked about in a lot of circles as much as, I dunno, I suppose I’d like. He’s tragic. He doesn’t want to be killing a kid. He doesn’t want to win. He’s only doing what he is because he thinks it might, somehow, free his people. Another comment I saw says something to the effect of “he even goes so far as to offer to let you be his kid”, which is true! He’s sweet. He doesn’t want to be the monster at the end of the journey.

But he is. And he has to reckon with that. He has to grapple the fact that his decree to kill all humans (note: don’t remember if this is 100% canon) and his momentary vitriol towards them drove his wife away. And, like, that reaction is… ultimately severe, but after seeing both your children, the future of your people, murdered, it’s at least comprehensible how Asgore came to that conclusion, in his blind fury. It’s so very human.

And that’s something Undertale does fantastically. It turns characters literally called monsters into incredibly human, incredibly real people. It’s no wonder why so many people latched onto this game and it’s characters as a fandom, it really has the deep, ensemble cast to support it.

Undertale drops us into a world where the first intro shows us a war between humans and monsters, and then introduces us to monsters as more human than the main protagonist can become. It’s characters react, often, more realistically than we, as players interacting with the world, can. When you kill everybody except for just the tiniest amount, Alphys calls you at the end of the game and says this:

She’s angry. She’s confused. It’s complicated. She has what she has. It’s somebody trying to deal with stressful, bleak, fucking depressing circumstances, and trying to, for just a moment, find some kind of positive. She still hates you. She still says she should’ve killed you. All of these feelings coexist, she’s not just berating you. She’s a multidimensional character: she’s human.

There are other examples of this, 100%. Asgore and Alphys I think are the easiest examples, given their own personal histories with tragedy and deplorable actions, but god dammit even Flowey, a character who is literally described as having no fucking soul, still… cries before he dies. His true face, Asriel’s face, peeks through in his ever-changing visage, and he pleads with you not to kill him.

You do, of course. Or I suppose Chara does. It’s not important. What is is the point that’s being made: or points, rather.

Undertale, for one, shows us a very simple truth: people who are different are human. It insists that they are, by characterizing these people so intensely, that they are made people by their emotions, their actions, their flaws and stupid jokes, their… realness. It insists upon acceptance for all people. And I love that.

Secondly, Undertale points a finger at its player: it turns that message around in the kill everything route, saying: “you killed everything in the underground except for Asgore. Watch what he says.”

He calls you a monster.

And you are one, in the most… human sense of the word.

The king of the monsters can’t see you as anything but one of his own kind. Because you’ve murdered them all.

Through him, the game is blaming us. Really, the whole point of the kill everything route is yelling at the player to stop, and laughing when we don’t want to. It keeps giving us more, and in the end when we want an ending where we… win?

No. We don’t deserve that, we don’t get to get away from this without consequence.

Undertale creates people for you to befriend, and then lets you kill them. But as players, we don’t expect to be punished for killing these people like.. we would be for murdering someone. We aren’t arrested, sure, aren’t put to trial. But Chara takes our options away. They taint our save file. You can’t forget that kind of bloodshed.

Anyways, there’s one more thing to Asgore’s character that I’d like to bring up:

He know’s about resets.

As a video I watched just now mentions, most people only really consciously expect Flowey and Sans to know about resets. That’s fair, they’re the only characters which explicitly mention them. I’d also wager some people think Alphys has some understanding of them, given Sans’ dialogue about readings and stuff during his fight implying that there’s more than him involved with the apparent detection/research into, what does he call it… fluctuations in the time space continuum? Timelines jumping left and right? I can’t remember the exact wording. You get my point, though.

But during Asgore’s fight, you can tell him he’s killed you before, and he just… nods. He’s very solemn in his fight, but this is just icing on the cake. He remembers killing you multiple times: he has enough awareness to recognize that he’s succeeded before, in his grim task, and been brought back to do it again. It’s another terrible dimension to his torture.

He’s a very compelling character to me, not just because his theme slaps, or because he looks fucking awesome. Asgore is the king, and I think he’s pushed to the side a lot. I dunno. Maybe rightfully, especially in stuff which takes place post-barrier opening, I s’pose. I just think there’s a lot there that I don’t see get talked about much. :) teehee

Credit where credit is due:

Images came from this video

Idea to talk about Asgore knowing about resets came from this video (not too hard to figure out the video subject lol):

Anyways! Thanks for reading. I love undertale. I could talk about it a million times forever and I probably will. Have a nice day :)

[ragsweas]

Hobbit Fic Rec List!

MODERN AU!

Hello! I always wanted to share a gigantic list of awesome works in Hobbit fanfic, but realized they are too many. So let's start small. A few modern AU that everybody has to read!

.......*.......

How to fall in love in 100 days by Kytanna

As their lives intertwine, Thorin, Bilbo, and their nephews learn the meaning of finding a family, love and the hard path towards healing. All, over the course of a hundred days.

A lovely piece with all the cuteness and fluff.

Softer Strokes by autisticalistair

Thorin is a well-known artist living a secluded life in the Swiss Alps. Bilbo is a former history professor living in a trauma rehabilitation centre after a devastating accident that took his parents lives. Through a mutual friend, Bilbo finds himself in Switzerland, and Thorin finds himself with company for the next few months, and neither of them are prepared for what that will bring.

I'll never say 'I love you' by JustReadingMaybeWriting

Bilbo is a veterinary student who one night saves the life a handsome but wounded man. Bilbo should have called an ambulance. If he had called an ambulance, he wouldn't be in this weird mess. He certainly wouldn't be falling in love with the man he saved, who can't seem to leave him alone.

This one's a bit dark, but I love it.

painted blind by nasri

The last time Bilbo stepped foot in Aberdeen it was with a broken heart and a bachelor’s degree. All things considered, this time isn’t so different.

Plan B by Drenagon

Plan B: an alternative strategy; a contingency plan, devised for an outcome other than the expected plan.

Or, sending an unqualified temp to act as Thorin Oakenshield's PA because no one qualified can put up with him.

(He'd say they can't meet his standards. Of course he would.)

Meet Bilbo Baggins. He just became Plan B.

One Modern!AU I always wanted to read and this is just it! It's amazing!! And the whole COmpany is there!!

A Land Far Away by Prollyaghost (Callmerin)

"If we were in a different time or place, this story may have begun with ‘once upon a time’, or even ‘In a hole in the ground, there lived…’ But as it so happens, we are in this time and place, in the outskirts of London, where there are no ‘once upon a times’ and the only holes in grounds lead to sewage tunnels. There does happen to be, however, a man who has dedicated a great deal of his life studying these ‘once upon a time’s. He is an English teacher, enjoys afternoon teas with homemade raisin scones, and he most certainly does not believe in fairy-tales.

His name is Bilbo Baggins, and that last bit about him is about to change."

Bilbo Baggins, an English teacher who has never been outside of England, suddenly finds himself thrust into an adventure when a strange man named Thorin Oakenshield requires his help to fulfil his father’s dying wish. Turns out studying the niche topic of the ancient, fictional society of dwarves was more useful than his parents could have imagined. Plunged into a forgotten land, Thorin and Bilbo must find the mythical Arkenstone, before the legends of the past come back to haunt modern society.

Okay, this one's a WIP, but damn the premise is super interesting and honestly can't wait for the next update!

Nothing Gold Can Stay by perkynurples

Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?

This is one of the fics that does not need an introduction. No matter how many times you read this, it isn't enough. And we all love Fili and Kili here.

What to do When Your Cat is an Asshole by lily_winterwood

“You have a cat?” asks the face on the screen. “Yes. His name’s Smaug, he’s orange, and he’s an asshole. Aren’t you, Smaug?” Surly Food Provider glowers at me, which, of course, I am immune to. “Aren’t you a little asshole?” I don’t see why he needs to call me that. My butthole is perfectly licked, and it smells wonderful.

The AU where Smaug is Thorin's asshole cat. Written for the Bagginshield Unexpected Anniversary.

This one's small, and hilarious and even better if you imagine Benedryl Cucumbersnatch narrating the whole thing

No Ordinary Love by badskippy

Bilbo and Ori have been best friends since they were ten years old and tragedy brought them together. Now, a new job, a sudden rainstorm, a chance meeting and budding romance with a burly, handsome stranger will not only alter their lives, but set in motion events that will change everyone around them, and reveal how lies, deceit and assumptions can leave deeper scars than the ones that can be seen.

WIP, unfinished, but damn was this an interesting tale. For anybody who loves angst, go give it a read!

Remember Me by thehistorygeek

Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield are destined to suffer. In every life they live, in every age, in every era, they meet, and this meeting brings back all the memories of the lives that have come before. But every meeting serves also as a death sentence, for once they have met, one of them is doomed to die soon after, usually tragically and prematurely. They remember nothing of their past lives until they meet, and once they have there is nothing that can be done to stop their fate.

For anyone obsessed with Reincarnation and/or History, this is it.

A Remover of Obstacles by MistakenMagic

"Dis often chided her older brother for being a misanthropist. She did it so often it had become a term of endearment. It was true that Thorin struggled with people; he struggled to form and maintain relationships. Dr. Grey had diagnosed him with this and Thorin hadn’t the heart to tell him this wasn’t a symptom of his PTSD, it was a symptom of his personality. He exercised a sense of apathy with almost everyone he met… But Bilbo was different. Thorin actually found himself wanting to know more about him."

Another fic that DOES NOT need an introduction. I have read it thrice and every time the emotions are still the same. Trigger Warnings, but damn this is all worth it.

An Unexpected Meeting by what_am_i_even_doing_tho

This is the chronicling of the modern day shenanigans of Bilbo Baggins, who is an absolute gay disaster, and Thorin Oakenshield, who is unashamedly enamored. Aka, the modern Bagginshield AU that no one ever asked for but they're getting anyway.

green and gilded by nasri

The next time he visits his parents there are flowers left in the grass, pressed back against the gravestone. They are yellow and white daffodils, plain and wilting.

“Who’s been to see you?” He asks, taking a single photo of the flowers with their drooping stems and curled petals and the wet winter grass that surrounds them. His mother would call it kind, his father might say it's curious, and Bilbo takes another petal to tuck into his pocket.

You know those stories that you read once and then they never leave your head? And somehow your whole life begins to revolve around that one story? Yeah, this is it. Spoilers in tag and I would suggest you read before advancing cause many people do not like it, but even if you are not in that group, just give it a read. This story deserves all the reads.

Bran' New Suit by pibroch (littleblackdog)

Andrew's description had been sufficient to recognize him— a riot of honey brown curls, short in stature, a well-favoured face with expressive features— but it hadn't quite been enough to prepare Tom for the sharp, almost painful tug in his gut at the sight of the man. They had never met before, to the best of Tom's recollection, but there was something eerily and inexplicably familiar about him all the same.

One of the first Modern AU I read and dauym...you won't get it until the end but then...it's fun.

Under New Management by frostyjack

Fili's life is pretty good -- he's doing well at university, he gets on well with his uncle and guardian Thorin, and he's never likely to know what it's like to be poor or unwanted. Then Thorin takes in a foster child -- Kili Oakenshield, a long-lost relative whose past is a total mystery. Suddenly, Fili's life gets a whole lot more complicated. But maybe it gets better, too.

Lots of trigger warning for this one, but when the end comes, you'll know it's all been worth it.

One-Sided Conversations by northerntrash

"Thank you for listening," Thorin said, getting to his feet. "I hope to be able to return the favour, one day."

The man on the bed didn't respond, but since he'd been in a coma for longer than Thorin had known him, that wasn't entirely surprising.

(Not Quite) Prince Charming by manic_intent

The problem, Bilbo would later tell Gandalf in aggrieved irritation, was not so much the unannounced visitors, oh no, but the fact that due to the lateness of the hour and sheer merciless fate, it came to be that at the respectable age of forty, Bilbo was being introduced to a real, live king while wearing striped pyjamas and fluffy slippers.

The Making of a Story by northerntrash

When Bilbo finds a case of old family photographs, he becomes determined to find the original owners: what he does not expect is to become quite so involved in their lives, or that those photographs should prove quite so important.

Misunderstandings and other obstacles for love by ylc

This series dammit! It's amazing, and the dynamics you would ask from a Modern AU.

Candle Glow and Mistletoe by euseevius

Bilbo and Thorin have been married for six months now. The thing is, Thorin’s family doesn’t know this. And because pretending to be just friends for the three weeks you’re going to spend at the family cabin is so much easier than telling the truth, that is what they will do.

(Of course Bilbo has his own ideas of how believable it is for a grown man to bring a friend to spend Christmas with his family. That’s why they make a bet out of it.)

For days you need to just laugh at these two idiots.

The Lost Kingdom of Erebor by Twisted_Barbie

AU. The Lost Kingdom of Erebor is shrouded in myth, likened to the heavens and compared to Atlantis. Until an archaeological discovery unearths that which was lost and awakens the Mad King from his cursed eternal rest.

Not a happy ending, and mysterious and you need to give it a read. Just, do it. It will all be worth it.

Of Palaces and Ruins by livelongandgetiton

Slow burn. Bilbo Baggins is a half-baked archaeologist who has put his dreams of adventure on hold to teach secondary school. Thorin is the grandson of a politically powerful figure in the historically rich and deeply isolationist country of Erebor. When he flees conflict and corruption in Erebor to settle in London, he finds his hands full with two young boys. Gandalf meddles, and Bilbo signs on as a personal tutor for the boys in hopes of getting a foot in the door to archaeological work in Erebor. He soon discovers that Thorin is a tough nut to crack. As Bilbo takes care of the boys he and Thorin grow closer, and secrets about not just the brooding stranger, but the mysterious country and politics of Erebor begin to unravel. It turns out that Bilbo isn't leaving adventure behind, after all.

WIP, updating. JUST READ IT!!!

Write Me Down Easy by lucyraebrown

Bilbo Baggins, a simple man with a wish for something more than his life teaching high school English, is obsessed with a famous author by the pen-name Oakenshield. Although he knows the future is dim for his chances of finding out about the man behind his favorite book, it's reassuring to know someone has the same thoughts about the world.

WIP, updating. It's mostly fuff and happiness, so yesss...feed your inner Bagginshield!

Show Me My Silver Lining by BiSquared

Three years after the hostile takeover of his grandfather's record label by one DJ Smaug, lead singer Thorin Oakenshield is ready to give up on his dreams, even if his band isn't ready to give up on him. If Thorin can convince talent scout Bilbo Baggins to sign them, they might just have a fighting chance. Of course, this is the night when Thorin gets stage fright.

The music industry AU no one asked for.

Love-In-Idleness by perkynurples       

Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all…

Did I read this in one go? Yes I did. Did I fall in love with Bagginshiled all over again? Yes I did.

.......*.......

And that's the list folks! I hope you guys have fun reading all of these nice fics! (And all the bagginshield angst/fuff)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

chin fucking up, amigo.

Titans 3.02

... eh?

SPOILERS ahead.

1. you know that music video for billie jean where michael jackson would dance along the pavement and the tiles would light up under his feet in different colours? yeah? me too.

titans hasn’t met a table top or a support arch that it doesn’t want to light up in a headache-inducing blue like the world’s most boring nightlight. i mean, i’m not an expert on lighting or cinematography or just... colour by any means, and the quality of the video i’m watching is poor given that i can’t access hbo max, but all the orange and teal and neon is making it very difficult to really differentiate between say, the batcave and the gotham police department and hell, the titans tower. i feel like there’s oftentimes a gap between idea and execution with titans, with gotham being this almost otherwordly hellscape with an aesthetic pulled from a gothic horror novel, but the colours and design just... leave it flat and dark and dull.

1.5. like what really frustrates me is that titans has a delightful mix of tones--the fights often remind me of schumacher-era batman camp, with the contrived quips and the start-stop rhythm and krypto just sallying in and ending the fight with a fucking SuperBark (tm) but in the same episode you have red hood just casually pulling out severed heads out of a duffle bag and desperate people blackmailed into killing themselves out of drug overdoses. I MEAN. it’s wonderful! but it looks all the same. it sounds Absolutely Bonkers on paper but on screen both Quip and Murder happen in the same washed-out blue and i wanted to be excited about the batcave, dammit!

2. things re: red hood have happened at such a breakneck speed that it feels like there’s so much that’s happened off-screen that we’re not privy to. a real proper mystery! 

things that are intriguing about the red hood arc so far:

a) what was that chemical he huffed just before going to fight the joker? is it a regular old performance/adrenaline booster or is it something more lazarus-juice adjacent? if it’s the latter, i can’t imagine he got that much information from a lone chemistry textbook. and where is he getting the resources to set up his little chemistry lab? is somebody else orchestrating things behind the scenes?

b) the red hood persona, costume and mask, plus the elaborate plan he’s putting in place to both string along gotham’s rogues and enact his revenge against the titans seems too... fully-formed and elaborate to have been concocted in just a few days. how long do you think jason’s been planning this? just... stewing in resentment and building rage, dismissed and passed around and underestimated and realising that the power he thought he would get by being robin is no power, no protection at all, but something that’s left him even more vulnerable than before? 

c) do we think that the scarecrow is at least partly behind this transformation? because yes, it was batman that set up this whole hannibal lecter-esque situation with him, and he would be irresponsible enough to have jason-as-robin go talk to him regularly regarding “~profiling~” criminals. it’s not too far of a leap to assume that scarecrow could’ve been manipulating jason at a very vulnerable time, and that he could’ve passed along some of his chemistry know-how, too.

d) ... or fuck, i wouldn’t put it past titans to introduce ra’s al ghul in a fucking ten second aside

e) anyway, the thing that won’t leave me alone is jason seeking out the joker not necessarily to fight him, but to orchestrate his own death. the whole thing has to have been part of a bigger plan. he broke batman with it, after all. and he’s starting to break the titans, too.

f) i love it! i mean, it does re-tread some of the storybeats we had with deathstroke last season (turning the titans against each other as revenge, etc) but it’s... tighter, this time, and at least for now seems better-executed. and as a red hood story it’s different enough to be really interesting, and i appreciate the ways in which its reframed the revenge story to focus on the titans rather than just the batman. like fuck everything up, i say! turn it on its head! slash the innards out of that sacred cow and strew it like garlands in the path of the Story You Want To Tell!

(and yes i am fully aware that by the time i post this review, there will be a whole lot more information out but if i come across like a fool then goddammit i will be a fool!)

2. i love how every season of titans starts off with, ‘oh dick, you thought you were settling into a role and a life and a pattern of relationships? well fuck you, here’s a terrible and traumatic thing, tons more responsibility, and circumstances that will lead you to uproot your entire life and move somewhere else.’ and dick’s just like, ‘well, ok. fuck you, but all right’.

can you imagine? the man was just settling into leading a team in sf and smiling for the first time in years, and now he has to deal with jason’s death, bruce experiencing a full fledged breakdown, coming back to a city that represents more bad memories than good, red hood, and a frightening new case that seems to be targeting him and his team. it’s a testament to dick’s growth that he’s not reacting to this stress like he did last year, shutting everybody out, making irrational decisions and experiencing sharp, short bursts of anger. (not to mention a full fledged psychotic episode.)

2.5. but i’ve also talked about dick performing a fair amount of unwarranted emotional labour for his team(s) in that he just lets them take out their frustrations on him and... does nothing. be it his team exploding at him for jericho (both in flashback and present-day) or donna and hank needling him for handling deathstroke poorly or barbara berating him for not handling the bank situation as well as she thought batman would though just the previous episode she had talked about how fucked up it was that bruce just expected dick to step up and replace him in gotham without any real notice. i mean it’s all perfectly understandable and sympathetic from their end--and i’m not trying to bash them here!--but hank, my man, the same chin you’re asking your amigo to keep up is the one that you punched last year and never apologised for. just sayin’.

2.75. @superohclair did a wonderful breakdown of what the ‘fear’ contract could imply here and there’s not too much i could add to that. it’s just really interesting that fear ended up being such a defining feature of their lives, albeit it’s the fear of seeming less than invincible in the face of bigger, more tangible fears. am i making sense?  dick feared loss, and abandonment, and the more existential concept of turning into something that he didn’t want to. bruce so feared being alone that he’s scouting kids to replace robin within days of jason dying. 

it also goes some way in explaining the tense sort of... restraint that bruce and dick show in the wake of loss and tragedy, like anything less than complete control of your emotions can lead to tragedy. it’s conditioning that dick couldn’t shake off when he was at his lowest in detroit, hating his legacy but unable to let it go either.

2.775. but i definitely appreciate the softness that dick displays with his team now, checking on them after a mission-gone-bad, welcoming back old members with no caveats or resentments (and kory’s delight in seeing hank back! hank and dick hanging out together and hank trying to prop dick up!), and appreciating their teamwork in solving cases. that’s always been the essence of dick as a person, and the beating heart of this show: flawed and traumatised people coming together to a place that will always be open to them, where they can be their worst and be supported still, allowed to make mistakes and grow from them. that’s family.

2.8. coming back to bruce for just a sec, it’s interesting how that gotham rogue was so certain when he said that ‘batman doesn’t kill’ but it’s not a rule that either jason or dick put much store by when they were robins. the ‘no-killing’ rule clearly didn’t mitigate dick’s fears about turning into batman and jason’s never been seeing giving two shits about it. it seems to me of a piece with bruce’s distant, second-hand sort of parenting that we see in dick’s flashbacks from s1 where the fear was never about personally disappointing batman, but taking lessons from him on finding a place in gotham’s hellish ecosystem and surviving.

3. kory having waking flashbacks! i don’t buy the bullshit parasomnia episode explanation from fake!HPG (because c’mon, justin has to be some sort of tamaranean ruse) because for one, you have to be actually asleep for that diagnosis. 

(and here i was, hoping against hope that HPG would actually end up as the team’s therapist)

curiouser and curiouser! i wonder if these flashbacks are from the time between kory landing on earth and the beginning of season 1, when she was completely amnesiac? it’d be cool if the show was considering repercussions from that time, and if kory hasn’t gained all her memories back. 

4. i just love the vibes between gar and conner and kory. gar Having Things To Do is only one part of my wishlist for him, however: other parts include having an actual story arc, and actually bonding with members who are not conner and kory. (dick! dick! hank! dick!)

anyway. time to move on to watching ep3 and seeing this family bond and nothing terrible and tragic happening at all, nope, nosiree. 

[dangermousie]

2019 END OF YEAR KDrama Post

Wow, I haven’t made one in years. This is going to involve only dramas that came out in 2019 because I watched a hell of a lot dramas made prior to that and trying to figure out which ones will give me a headache.

DRAMAS WATCHED (In order of liking from most to least as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen at least two eps AND feel it was enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

Extraordinary You -  A philosophy and religion course AND a love story, and perfect at both.

My Country - a brutal, passionate, intense masterpiece of a sageuk. This is how they should be.

Crash Landing On You - the two eps that have aired brought my joy in watching kdramas back to me so vividly. This is everything. 

Encounter - the perfect noona romance of the year for me. It seems to have little plot (powerful older woman, idealistic younger man) but the characters made me love them with an unhealthy amount of attachment and the mood is just perfect. 

Haechi - smart traditional sageuk with a heart. This one will make you love it but also respect it in the morning :)

Queen: Love and War - Period, romance, mystery, helpless king and feisty heroine. It’s everything I love in one package. 

Chocolate - if, like me, you like slow old-school melo with genuine grown-ups, this one is for you. Ha Ji Won and Yoon Kye Sang are both incandescent in this. 

One Spring Night - a rare slice of life that worked for me so so much. I rooted for the main OTP like crazy (I did skip all the sister stuff though because boring to me.) It’s just a breath of fresh air.

The Tale of Nokdu - a rare funny youth sageuk that worked for me (except, ironically, for when they tried to be politics-heavy and serious about it.) Wonderful OTP, funny situations and just generally a delight. 

Memories of the Alhambra - I can hear people screaming that I put this so high, but this is a faves ranking, not objective one, and I loved the unusual premise (it ultimately fell apart but it tried), and Hyun Bin’s performance was out of this world and the aaaaagnst and I enjoyed waiting for it each week until almost the end. That ending though!!!!!

Psychopath Diary - this is black comedy at its best and hysterical and smart and somehow got me invested in the hapless protagonist. 

Hotel del Luna - clever and funny and smart. Hong Sisters largely back to form. I found the sageuk parts more engaging than modern ones, but what else is new.

Search WWW - some parts of it worked for me more than others, but it had solid writing and cool characters and some interesting OTP(s). 

Love is Beautiful Life is Wonderful - has the weekend drama slowness but it lovely and fun. 

When the Camellia Blooms - it was well made and the OTP was great and the acting top notch, I just don’t tend to go gaga for slice of life dramas, especially ones involving market ladies, much. 

Flower Crew Joseon Marriage Agency - competently done, pretty period piece about nothing. It was enjoyable and forgettable at once.

Catch the Ghost - I put it as high as I did because the OTP really did have lovely chemistry but the story was a complete mess, the police work made no sense and the heroine’s character was like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Joseon Survival - I got about four episodes in and liked it a lot but then Kang Ji Hwan turned out to be a convicted rapist, they replaced the lead and I didn’t go back. I kind of want to because I liked what I saw and I am madly curious as to whether they changed the main character or just said he had a different face now, no explanation. 

The Last Empress - pure inconsistent trash but so entertaining!

Vagabond - I made it eight episodes in before I realized that I would have as much fun staring at traffic. It’s a competently done actioner but without more, actioners never work for me, so this was a viewer/drama mismatch.

Arthdal  Chronicles - incoherent, visually odd and boring, this is arguably the worst drama this year but I am giving it higher place because the cast really tries (even if it tends to fail because it has nothing to work with) and because it attempted something different even if it failed spectacularly. SO BAD.

Melting Me Softly - yes, my brain was fully melted by this soulless, charmless waste of Ji Chang Wook and my limited free time.

VIP - Any drama that makes the main mystery and thrust of the story who the husband cheated on his wife with is BORING. Seriously, this is not exactly Hercule Poirot. They wasted their cast - I have NO idea why Lee Sang Yoon agreed to be in this as a one note character and Jang Nara is playing a second scorned wife in a row but without even the entertainment value of her previous outing.

Abyss - aptly named. The best thing I can say about it is it didn’t offend me but oh boy was it dull.

Absolute Boyfriend - I loved the manga but it’s time to accept this can never be adapted well. They wasted the cast and that ending was just an insult on top of a trash heap.

The Lies Within - you cast that cast and deliberately have no romance. You are dead to me. 

Woman of 9.9 Billion - competently made, but it’s everything I dislike - dour unpleasant bored people behaving as if they are in a particularly dreary art-house French movie but without any nuance or interest the latter came provide. 

Love with Flaws - shrill, dumb, neither acted nor written by anyone trying at all. 

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung - objectively, it’s not the worst drama on the list, but it’s everything I hate in one package - willfully ahistorical but not cleverly so, male lead incapable of acting, the characters so one-dimensional they disappear, this purports to be a period drama but about as period as a space ship. God, I loathed this. 

FAVORITE DRAMA

Extraordinary You - smart (so mind-bendingly smart) and moving and totally unpredictable and with so many things to say about free will and religion and self and nature of memory and narrative, this had an insane impossible premise and yet somehow managed to do it full justice and stick the landing. 

WORST DRAMA

People with Flaws - this is different from least favorite because even if I loathed e.g., Rookie Historian or Woman of 9.9 Billion, I recognized some positive features; it’s just certain things really rubbed me the wrong way due to personal preferences. But this shrill hot mess of a drama is really everything that’s wrong with dramaworld.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Prince Yeoning, Haechi - fiercely smart, strong, tormented by the duality of his birth (royal father, servant mother) but not letting this distract him from his purpose, loyal to the bone, and with integrity nothing can shake but where you can feel that it’s not easy and that it costs him.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Eun Dan Oh, Extraordinary You - a go-getter who remakes the world (literally); smart, cheerful, strong, beautifully human. She feels so real and yet is larger than anything around her. 

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Yi Seung Gye, My Country - a sociopath destroying lives in his quest for power and control, even the destruction of his own family barely gives him anything but momentary pause. He is the reason for the tragedy of MC. 

FAVORITE SHIP

Eun Dan Oh x Haru, Extraordinary You - their love is literally universe and god-defying. They have loved each other as different people in three separate worlds (and counting), and have defied loss of memory and even loss of self as well as death, the end of worlds, and their god and the narrative and literally anything and everything, to be together.

Runner Up: Soo Hyun x Jin Hyuk, Encounter: tender and decent and his bringing her back to vivid life and the way they love and support and compliment each other.  

Probably gonna be on list if doesn’t go haywire: Crash Landing on You: she is a SK heiress, he’s a NK officer, they have mad chemistry and so much potential.

NOTP:

Tae Mi x Morgan, Search WWW - love the actors, love the chemistry, love the characters in terms of the way they are written, but they are absolutely wrong for each other and there is no future of any sort but misery ahead. None of their issues are resolved but are swept under the rug. It’s a cautionary tale, not a romance. I did a long rant before so not repeating. 

BEST SECONDARY OTP

Scarlett x Ji Hwan, Search WWW - they stole the shippiness in the drama for me. Cooky and adorable and noona romance done right.

FAVORITE SCENE

Haru’s final disappearance, Extraordinary You - the lights start to go out, the world literally dissolving, Eun Oh and Haru clinging to each other, with his telling her she was his beginning and the end. His name, the one she gave him, is the last thing he hears. In a drama full of amazing scenes the very gist of which was defying the very creator and universe and meaning of existence, this was the one that stayed with me the most.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seo Hwi, My Country - I have a thing for deeply honorable, deeply tortured period badasses with long hair and a death wish (see Choi Young in Faith etc.)

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Yi Bang Won, My Country - he started out as an antihero and ended up as arguably a tragic villain (or maybe still an anti-hero) but oh boy, was he magnetic and fascinating and sucking out all the oxygen whenever he was in the scene.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Memories of the Alhambra - WTF ending was that?! All that misery and no real resolution?! Dammit!

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Youth Sageuk - I hate most of them! They are anachronistic and dumb and honestly, what is the point of having fully modern people in period clothes? Just make a modern show and call it a day.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Melting Me Softly - Ji Chang Wook’s first project back from the military was an unfunny, unmoving, pointless mess with not an ounce of genuine enjoyment despite the excellent pedigree of everyone involved in front and behind the camera.

Arthdal Chronicles - the makers made excellent Queen Seon Duk, Tree with Deep Roots and Six Flying Dragons. The cast was uniformly A grade. The result was an open-ended, boring, incoherent mess that looks like a bad sort of a drug trip and made about as much sense. 

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Extraordinary You - I had zero interest in yet another high school drama with no actors I recognized. By the end, EY was an emotional brainy twister of a marvel that became my favorite drama of all time. I’ve been watching dramas for over 13 years so that’s saying something.

2019 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

The Crowned Clown - I love sageuks and cast and it looks so smart and emotional

Angel’s Last Mission: Love - my next contemporary - I watched a little and loved what I saw

Fates and Furies - I saw a few eps and classic melo is so up my alley.

Clean with a Passion for Now - I like the cast and it’s a year of falling for hot weird bosses apparently.

Graceful Family - I love makjang and Im Soo Jung.

The Secret Life of My Secretary - downmarket Beauty Inside and I loved BI.

Love Affairs in the Afternoon - artsy adultery FTW

Item - I don’t like crime stuff but I am here for Joo Ji Hoon.

My Strange Hero - seems a little cooky but I am fond of Yoo Seung Ho.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2020

King: the Eternal Monarch - Lee Min Ho and Woo Do Hwan and parallel worlds and written by Kim Eun Suk. Yes Please.

I should probably make one for cdramas too though that one would be rather shorter.

[heavencollins]

it’ll pass: ramblings on Fleabag and being completely terrified of real life

chances are if you’re on the internet you’ve probably run into something about Phoebe Waller Bridge’s show Fleabag.  chances are if you’ve heard about it, you’ve watched it.  chances are you probably loved it. if you hated it, we probably can’t be friends and you’ll just have to be okay with that.  

hi, i’m heaven, and i cried my way through all twelve episodes of Fleabag faster than i wanted to.  the thing about this show is that every episode has something in it that i want to cling onto it.  i want to savor every episode as if it is the finest wine being dripped into your mouth from the Hot Priest™ himself.  i want to jump into the bike lane when Fleabag stands there, utterly hopeless and feeling as if there is nothing in the world for her except for being fucked and eventually that’ll go away too.  i want to punch Martin in the face right after Fleabag does at the dinner table. i think i just want to punch Martin in the face in general. i want to go and confess everything to the Hot Priest in the confessional booth and then have him tell me to kneel (i have never…ever seen anything more religiously erotic in my life).  i want to sit next to Fleabag on that bus bench at the end. i want to tell her thank you. Phoebe Waller-Bridge thank you.

some people call Fleabag a hidden tragedy.  but how is real life a tragedy?  do y’all know how many Fleabag’s are out here walking around on the street every day?  Fleabag is a tragedy from the beginning if anything, it’s not “hidden.”  within the first episode we learn things that would be described as “tragic character flaws”: Fleabag is a sex addict, she’s stuck in an on-and-off relationship, she steals a statue from her future step-mom, she’s still reeling over her best friend’s recent-enough death, she has a failing cafe.  Fleabag is all alone in this world.  

Fleabag is a show for those girls who get called monsters in the real world.  it’s a show for me. i don’t know why i’m beating around the bush with this when i already said two paragraphs up that i cried my way through this show.  it’s fucking claustrophobic. it’s kind of scary. i’m scared. it made me scared. life isn’t okay. i’m glad i binged this all at once because season one ends so darkly but season two, and what’s supposedly the final season, gives the viewer a sense of okay-ness.  she’s going to be okay. i’m going to be okay, maybe not right now, and maybe not until my thirties, but dammit i’m going to be okay.  

how do you be so open in your writing when you can barely be open with your therapist? watching this show was the emotional push i think i needed, but not just for my writing, for everything.

i’ve emotionally shut myself off from any real form of connection with people who legitimately want me since a year and a half ago.  i’m not trying to be a bitch to people but i just don’t want to get hurt. is it better to be in love and eventually get hurt or is it just easier to get high off of someone’s affection for a few weeks before they eventually become tired of your indecisiveness?  in therapy i lovingly refer to these men as my drug people, a term i picked up from my favorite author Melissa Broder.  

what’s fucked up is when you start to want the drug people.  genuinely want. you want to touch them, to hug them, to learn what they smell like and if their lips are soft or if they’re always chapped.  to be able to hold them and tell them that you don’t want a moment you share with them to end.  

Hot Priest in Fleabag becomes what i would call Fleabag’s drug person that she starts to actually want.  everybody around her tell she’s impossible to love but then he proves her wrong—he notices the little things she does that nobody else notices.  whenever Fleabag breaks the fourth wall around him, he asks “where’d you go just now? where do you disappear to?” Fleabag feels choked by her own emotions and the wall she put up around herself, breaking down in the confessional booth and telling Hot Priest everything she’s never told a man before. hell, everything she’s never told anyone before.

we see Fleabag go from a woman who breaks up with the same man every few months just to get her apartment deep cleaned, to a woman who feels safe with The Arsehole because she believes he loves her but he’s been in a committed relationship with another woman the whole time, to a woman who is completely alone, and then to a woman who finds herself falling for somebody who actually wants to spend time with her.  

but whenever you reach the “wait this person actually likes spending time with me? and probably likes me?” stage, shit gets real.  shit gets rough. it’s when you feel like you have to find a way out or else you’re going to be burned just like your last relationship.  Fleabag has never thought of herself as a person deserving of wholesome love, of a love that extends further than a sexual relationship. falling in love with a priest is complicated.  falling in love is complicated.  

and maybe Fleabag was right to be reserved at first.  in the end it doesn’t work out despite her and Hot Priest being in love with each other.  he chooses her faith over her, telling her “it’ll pass” after she tells him “i love you.” it’s not a bad breakup.  he tells her “i love you, too.” sometimes you need to let the things you love go—it’s better in the end to stop things when you know they won’t fully work out than let them be beaten into the ground.  it’ll pass. at least you have an amazing love story now.

i’m not sure where i’m going with this.  i’m not in love right now, but i feel attraction towards people.  i’m scared i’ll never be loved. i’m scared i’ll never have a Hot Priest type of love story.  but if Fleabag and Fleabag taught me anything; i’ll end up being okay eventually.

[mittensmorgul]

I was completely distracted by Dean's wacky vampire face during the 15x09 crappy ending to take it seriously at all

i think that was the point, yeah…

we were supposed to observe Chuck’s Predictions just going wackier and wackier until they completely broke suspension of disbelief. He is a BAD STORYTELLER. He’s been lampshaded as a bad storyteller all along

since s4

Chuck: I am so sorry. I mean, horror is one thing, but to be forced to live bad writing… if I would have known it was real, I would have done another pass.(Chuck, 4.18)

dabb is just shining neon lights on the fact in s15 and smacking everyone on the head with the fact

Chuck… is a terrible author, with bad ideas. In text, Chuck has admired the GoT ending… which pretty much every writer for SPN has been highly critical of… He’s also discussed “his process” which has been roundly criticized IN TEXT by both Becky and Lilith– Lilith literally being a self-aware OC-insert character specifically COMPLAINING about this, while simultaneously complaining about how she was INCAPABLE of “failing her mission” because she WAS a plot device inserted into the narrative to achieve that objective. And Becky? Telling Chuck that nobody cared about the monsters while Chuck repeatedly attempted to deny that? And now his endgame is basically Monsterpocalypse? Literally the same plot AU!Michael attempted to inflict on the world in s14 while literally complaining about Chuck-The-Author and his terrible plots and abandoned narratives? Yeahhhhhh >.>

What I’m saying is that this isn’t complicated math here.

Also I have used the word “literally” way too much here, but it’s warranted, dammit…

So… that’s the Bad Ending Chuck devised… And gosh he looked so gleefully squirrelly the whole time he was “showing Sam the unavoidable future.” It doesn’t even make SENSE. It destroys the characters completely! THAT IS THE POINT! it’s bad! he’s being mocked by dabb for it. including everything he did to Eileen… taking a female character and LITERALLY resurrecting her to be a tragic romantic interest/plot device with zero agency in the end, intending to murder her AGAIN, ONLY to drive Sam’s personal suffering over the edge. While meanwhile Rowena has been shunted off to Hell to what I suppose Chuck thinks is a “fitting end” for her character… 

Honestly, here’s another Rowena rant, but if the spn writers leave her in hell and still manage to give us everything else we want, I will be irate with them… >.>

her story is about so much more than some budding potential romance with Sam. it’s literally about rewriting her own story, changing her fate, redeeming herself for everything she’d done and STILL getting tossed into Hell after self-sacrificing to save the world… and if that isn’t what s15 is all about– about freeing themselves from Chuck’s never-ending story of tragedy and hopelessness, then I have no idea what they’ve been writing all these years. If the ONLY character who doesn’t win free of the tragic narrative is Rowena? I WILL BE PISSED.

(technically Eileen already HAS freed herself… she chose to walk away and not be used by Chuck’s awful storytelling… good for her… but meanwhile Rowena lost everything, including her life, to bring it all about, and seriously… I am SICK of women being relegated to Hell to progress the narrative of men… that was literally the inciting incident of Chuck’s story, burning Mary Winchester on the ceiling to give the male main characters a tragic backstory, and we’re supposed to be overthrowing his narrative control now, not doubling down on it at the end… let’s hope the writers recognize that…)

Okay, that’s all. >.>

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch: Episode 60 “A Talk about Your Quirk”

mysterylover123

aka the one where TodoBaku failed. And something about Bakugou and one for all and a possible re-match…

YAY DEKU. And all class 1-A except for TodoBaku. Where is the justice that Mineta passes and they don’t.

KACCHAN NO.

Inasa no.

Todoroki no.

At least his three main love interests are consoling him.

Nice thanks Inasa. I forgive you.

Wow someone’s about to burst.

Shut up Mineta thank you Iida.

The results! Is it obsessive that I kinda wanna know the specifics.  Why did Ojiro fall so low? 94 Momo makes sense. But Deku should have more.

Wow Mera goes and lays an unintentional guilt trip on Katsuki. No wonder this lead to…something…important maybe…

Yay they have a chance to get their licenses back in an absolutely wonderful and hilarious little mini-arc that’s gonna kill me when it airs next season.

AW DEKU’S LITTLE TEARFUL FACE.

More sinister Uraraka faces. Half-shaded in the manga.

I think Aoyama has a little crush on Inasa.

Deku wants to know about Camie’s training. He isn’t even blushing. Are you no longer interested in girls like that, Deku?

CAMIETOGA! The big reveal here is pretty incredible. It makes everything so much more interesting.

“Tomura’s gonna be happy” cause I ship those two a little. Also, Toga’s shape-shifting quirk set off a nearly unprecedented string of “Toga is impersonating X” theories until we learned the true extent of how long she could use her quirk for.

All Might and All for One. Wow he’s still in his old superhero  costume.

Yeah, believe that All might. All for One’s gonna escape some day. Story needs him.

“What do you want?” I wanna know that too. WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVE AFO?!?!

“We’re not so different you and I” I guess. Maybe? In terms of stature and legend, sure.

“Why would you need a successor?” I don’t know that either. “I’m more machine now than man” stuff.  I’m curious as to why AFO doesn’t tell anyone about OFA. I’m so curious about him, dammit, I wanna know more.

Yay his theme again. I love it. It’s perfect.

You know, AFO has a point here. All Might living without any power is actually even more poignantly tragic than just killing him off would have been. You see? You can create tragedy without killing off a character.

He doesn’t confirm that Tomura is actually going to kill Deku here. I’m still kind of a Dad-for-One Theorist so I think All Might isn’t completely right here.

This cape swish here is cool. Is it wrong that this argument feels kinda petty to me, like two teen mean queens?

Well, I guess the eps over, nothing more to see here, just UA winding down from the…

Oh. Oh.

“WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT YOUR QUIRK” Holy Crap it’s here!

Flashbacks! OMG their cute flashbacks it’s happening.

Ground Beta. Where he lost.

THE VOICE ACTING ON BAKUGOU HERE. BOTH DUBS.

Wow no music just to make it extra suspenseful.

Bakugou is smart. Though he can’t claim too much credit, because Deku told him. Deku surpassed him.  

I love the way they close-up on everything but his eyes.

Deku looks fierce here.

YEEEESSS

Bakugou, as an aside, is hot in this scene. They both are. It’s deep and tragic, but they both look fine.

“Here is my 50 page thesis on how I’m sure All Might gave you his power”.

The Music’s swelling OMG.

DAT VOICE ACTING.

Deku’s freaking face his face that face

Wow that outstretched hand. I have expected him to ask him to dance.

IT’S ON.

Episode 60 mostly just wraps up the PLE arc. It’s made up of three set pieces: The results and departure, All Might and AFO, and the DVK2 setup talk. The first is good, mostly exposition based; the second is not bad, but honestly not as exciting as the premise indicates. The third, though…that third part…next episode. NEXT EPISODE.

BKDK CORNER:

This is it. It’s starting.

1. Bakugou could’ve gone to other friends with his personal problems. He could have talked about his PTSD and guilt to anyone of his squad. But he tells Deku. This isn’t the first time he’s cried in front of him either. Deku is the person he brings his problems too.

2. Deku could have chosen not to come meet with him. He could’ve said no and Bakugou would’ve had to accept it and go on brooding. But he went. Because he cares.

3. Bakugou has been watching Deku this whole time. Close enough to see his progress. To see just how he reacted to ‘now it’s your turn.’ To notice exactly when Deku started changing. He always watches Deku, who watches him right back (“Somehow, I knew.”) They’re always thinking of each other.

4. Bakugou knew exactly how Deku felt afterwards. He gets him.

5. Deku could’ve chosen not to tell Bakugou the truth. To make up some other story. But he chooses, in his own way to let him know. Because he knows he needs it. And he can’t stand to lie to him.

6. Baku proves himself a very trustworthy confidante, as he makes sure no one can overhear them (unlike Deku, who said All Might’s secret loudly and in public where anyone could.

7. Holy crap look how much I wrote about them in only the first scene. Next recap’s probably gonna be novel-length.

BEST GIRL OF THE EPISODE: Toga I guess. She makes quite an impression here.

RANKER: Main PLE arc episodes, Ranked

7. Episode 53 “The Test”

6. Episode 54” Shiketsu High Lurking”

5. Episode 55 “Class 1-A”

4. Episode 57 “Rescue Exercises”

3. Episode 56 “RUSH”

2. Episode 59 “What’s the big Idea”

1. Episode 60 “A Talk About your quirk”

[four-loose-screws]

FE4 Suzuki Novelization Translation (Gen II) - Chapter 7

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———————————

Chapter 7 - Earth Lance Gáe Bolg

T/W: Mention of likely one-sided romantic feelings between adopted siblings.

Travant ordered both Coruta's dragon knight unit and Princess Altena to deploy. With the empire's presence gone completely from the Thracian Peninsula, he considered this to be the perfect chance.

"Start by seizing Munster. Do not hold back against anyone who turns against you, even the citizens. Kill them all."

"Wait, Father!" Altena called out.

Altena wore the uniform of the Thracian Dragon Knights, and held her long brown hair back with a bandana. Her almond shaped eyes gave a bit of an intimidating impression, but when she put on her military uniform, it highlighted how brave and honorable she looked.

"I'll happily fight if the imperial army is our enemy, but there's no meaning in killing powerless civilians. Even if you say we'll fight with the empire, we should be happy to work with the liberation army. Why must we fight them?"

Prince Arion, General Hannibal, and a few other people held the same opinion as her, but she was the only one who was open about it with the king. 

However, no matter what she said, Travant would not be swayed. "Altena! Are you trying to lecture me!? Do as I say! I will not allow you to talk back to me!"

"But…"

"Altena, do as Father says." Prince Arion said. He felt that their father would only get angrier the more they opposed him.

"Brother… I will." Altena said and bit her lip. Her dissatisfaction with her Father's orders did not go away, but she always believed in her brother's decisions.

'Big brother said he thinks the same as I do. He must have a reason for saying that.'

Deep down, the reason why she believed him was because of her love for him (though she did not realize it). And it was not just the love of a brother and sister, but something much more. Her feelings were simply locked away in the subconscious of her heart, so she did not notice them.

Travant watched her begin to leave the reception hall, and said, "Altena, have you finally agreed to deploy? You're a very strong-willed girl. Your mother was just as tough. Don't fight your blood."

"Altena means well, Father. Please be lenient with her." Arion interjected.

"I know that. You would speak the same words as her if you had the opportunity. Unifying with Northern Thracia has been our deepest wish for many long years. Our lands are barren, so the men are all hired as mercenaries, while being looked down upon as hyenas… And the women remain here to dig into the mountains' slopes, and must till their meager fields. If we continue to live here alone, then we will always be forced to live in poverty. Altena grew up in the palace, so she does not know what the people wish for."

-

The dragon knight unit lined up in front of Munster Castle.

"The liberation army that killed Bloom is still on the other side of the river. But only the citizens who revolted are currently at Munster Castle. And I've received reports that they know of our movements and are gradually running away. We should begin our attack straight away." Courta explained to Altena.

"Wait, Coruta. There's no reason for us to attack an enemy like that. I'll go and suggest to them that they surrender. Wait here for a bit."

"I can't do that. I was given specific orders by the king. No matter what you say to me, I cannot go easy on them.”

"I am your commanding officer. Are you going to ignore my order?"

"This is my unit, and I received my orders from His Majesty directly. If you disagree with that, then stay here and watch. We will attack on our own." 

Coruta flew off and delivered his order to his soldiers. "All units, we will ambush the enemy! Those who resist will be killed! Now charge!"

The dragon knights all flew into the sky at once.

As she watched them fly towards Munster Castle, all Altena could think about was the tragedy that was about to unfold, and how infinitely powerless she felt.

'Maybe my views are wrong. ...No, they couldn't be. Brother agrees with me. Father and Coruta are the ones in the wrong. Even in the event that they win, killing civilians will make the people hate us, and do the exact opposite of unifying us.

But are Father and Coruta the only ones to blame? I couldn't do anything to stop either of them. Am I just as guilty as they are?’

The first dragon knights to try to fly over the castle wall were suddenly hit by the strongest gust of wind they'd ever experienced. Their dragons' wings twisted, and their bones, usually able to withstand anything during flight, snapped in an instant. Without the ability to stay in the air, they all began to drop like flies.

And it didn't end there, with another guest of wind assaulting the next group of dragons.

"Dodge! Just dodge it!" Coruta shouted, realizing this was no force of nature.

They cautiously made their way around the castle, until they found a single man standing atop the castle tower.

'Dammit, he's using wind magic!'

Faced with an enemy stronger than he thought there'd be, Coruta decided to change course and go after the citizens fleeing from the castle.

'If it's just that group, we can kill them all before they make it to the river.'

However, Seliph and the liberation army had just crossed the river. And to make matters even worse for Coruta's unit, the liberation army was much larger than they'd ever imagined, and had archers amongst their ranks, which dragon knights were weak against.

Coruta was only lost about what to do for a second.

'If your only other option is to run away, then choose to die a glorious death.'

That was the pride of the Thracian dragon knights, and a legend that had been passed down for generations.

'Even if our bodies should perish, our tales of bravery will live on.'

"Chaaaaaarge!" Coruta shouted, and led his unit in a dive bomb maneuver.

The enemy army grew larger and larger with each passing moment.

The moment he saw a bow, Coruta knew that an arrow had been shot at him. 

As Altena watched Coruta's unit fight spectacularly yet tragically from a nearby mountain ridge, her feelings were very complicated. The regret of losing her allies, the blame she placed on herself for what she hadn't the chance to tell the unit, and the justification that made her sure this was not the way to fight, all swam around in her mind.

After watching the last dragon knight fall, Altena lightly pushed her knees into her dragon, signaling her mount to flap her wings and fly into the air.

She flew high into the air so that she would not be attacked, and slowly circled around the battlefield.

The liberation army had once again started marching towards Munster Castle.

'We weren't the only brave ones here.' Altena thought. 'What is the liberation army going to do next? Since we attacked them, they must now think of Thracia as their enemy. If they intend to march to Grannvale, then they'll travel through Thracia to get there. So they'll most likely attack Mease Castle next.'

There were only a few soldiers, led by General Maikov, stationed there.

'Maikov is a brave general, but there's no way he can defend the castle against an army as large as this one.' She turned her dragon towards Thracia Castle.

-

Meanwhile, from amongst the liberation army, Finn said to Prince Leif, "Lord Leif, please take a good look at that dragon knight."

"That one? I've looked up at them a few times already. They appear to be a woman, but I don't think that's uncommon in Thracia. And she seems to be bathed in light. Perhaps she's flying in a ray of sunlight?"

"Yes, that light is what I'm referring to. It looks just like the light of Crusader Njörun, which would also envelop your late father whenever he wielded Gáe Bolg. If I am correct, then she is wielding that lance right now. It id the one passed down through the Leonsterian royal family."

"What? Why would a female Thracian knight have Father's Gáe Bolg?"

"I don't know. The only thing I can think of is that she is your elder sister, who went missing when the Thracian Army attacked. Lady Altena seemed to be unharmed, but had gone missing with Gáe Bolg."

"But why would my older sister be with the Thracian Army?"

"My guess is that she was kidnapped by Travant, and he raised her as his own."

"I've heard that Travant is a coldhearted man, but he might have a small human heart inside him after all."

"No, I don't think that's it. Crusader Njörun's blood was passed down from Lord Quan to Lady Altena, so Travant must have wanted Gáe Bolg's power. It seems like something he would do."

"So he's tricked her, hasn't he? How could Travant be so horrible…? Finn, let's help her. I want to tell her the truth and team up to free Father and Mother of their regrets."

"You are the only one who can do that, Lord Leif. If her younger brother tries to persuade her, then she is likely to open her heart and listen to you. Please save the princess!"

"Of course I will! You always stop me from doing so, but when we fight with the dragon knights, I'll go on the front line. I'll risk my life, but try my hardest to persuade Big Sister! And if she's alive, that means…"

'That means I'm not alone anymore.’ Leif thought.

As a boy raised without any memory of his birth parents' love, he was starved to meet someone from his blood family.

He knew full well that Finn loved him. But that love was an extension of his loyalty to Quan and Ethlyn. Finn was a great guardian and teacher, but wasn't someone that Leif felt he could fully open up to about his troubles and worries.

Finn had said to Leif on countless occasions in the boy's youth, "Lord Leif, you are the next in line to become king of Leonster. You mustn't say such things."

Or sometimes it was, "You mustn't do such things." Other times it was, "You mustn't cry over such things."

"I understand, Finn. I won't say that ever again.” Leif would answer. 

But deep down in his heart, he always muttered to himself, ‘Mother, why did you die and leave me here all alone? Why…?’

He also had that thought when he was living in hiding, and saw parents or siblings expressing love towards one another.

'Why am I the only one who's all alone?'

When he became so sad that he couldn't bear it anymore, he would find a place where no one else would find him, and cried.

'Mother, why did you die and leave me here all alone?'

So the news that his sister was alive (even if he couldn't confirm if it was true yet), made him happier than anything else in the world.

As he marched together with his unit, he imagined what his sister might look like. Then, he imagined successfully persuading her, and how they would hug each other, and be so happy...

'I'm not alone anymore!'

-

Seliph lowered the gate and entered Munster Castle, then met Ced inside.

"Hero Ced, many of the citizens' lives have been saved because of you. Thank you."

"I've waited so long for this moment to come… Lord Seliph, please save not only Thracia, but the entire world. The people are living in despair. Even in Munster, many children have been kidnapped and taken to Miletos Shrine. I couldn't save them. I am no hero, but a mere coward."

"No you're not! I couldn’t do anything by myself! I've made it this far because of everyone else's power. Hero Ced, I want you to join us."

"Understood, Lord Seliph. I will follow you to the ends of the earth." Ced took a step forward to shake Seliph's hand, but when he saw Lewyn standing behind Seliph, his hand froze. "Lord Seliph, who is that behind you?"

"Huh? Oh, this is my advisor. His name is Lewyn. He is Silesse's King Lewyn. Oh, that's right, I heard you're from Silesse, too!"

Ced did not answer Seliph, instead walking up to Lewyn. "Father… It's you, isn't it, Father?"

"Ced, it's been a long time since I saw you last. How have you been?"

"'How have I been?' I've been looking for you this entire time! Do you have any idea how many years have passed since you left!?"

"Now that you mention it, I do wonder how long it's been. How is Erinys?"

"How could you be so… Mother passed away! All she wanted was to see you one more time, and watch you pass Forseti on to me! That's why I went on my journey, to find you!"

"I see, so she's… How unfortunate."

"You're so cold, Father! You're finally heard that Mother died, yet you won’t shed even a single tear!"

"Ced, I don't have a wife, nor any children. That's what I have decided. I want you to think so from now on as well." 

Ced glared at him in response.

Seliph knew very well that Lewyn was not a cold person, so he questioned his flippant response towards finally reuniting with Ced.

-

That night, the army held a modest celebration, where Ced and Fee realized they were brother and sister. That reunion was a happy one.

"Fee and Lewyn joined us in Isaach, so they've been face-to-face since then. Yet why haven't they called each other father and daughter?'

Though Seliph's trust in Lewyn did not change, the suspicion within his heart slowly began to grow.

[vohalika]

Death Does Not Become You

I’m going to do something very off-brand here and say nice things about Vax’s appearance at the wedding now.

Like, I stand by everything I said yesterday, that it went on for too long and I don’t like how it was timed in a way that overshadowed the truly wonderful vows that should have been the emotional climax here. I understand that in the moment, Sam probably couldn’t have thought of a better moment to do it, and Liam had something specific he was going for, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’ll all be seeing and hearing more about what those two did here than about the actual main event that this entire oneshot was supposed to be about.

Sound familiar?

All of that still stands. And yet, I have positive things to say about this, actually. And am adding to the problem by doing that instead of writing about how wonderful Percy, Vex, and their vows were, woohoo. Ahem.

So this might be, as @pagerunner-j put it, petty, but I too appreciate that Liam leaned into the creepy and the mushrooms and the ghost voice. He went on for a little too long, and oh my god this creepiness is definitely not the kind of shit you should pull out at a wedding, but that’s more on Scanlan’s poor timing than on Vax’s portrayal for a change.

I have never been a fan of how Vax just walked quietly into that good night, instead of even giving his friends, like, an opportunity to use their abilities and pull with a few gods to even try to save his life. The defeatist attitude, the just giving up on life, hit a nerve with me for personal reasons in more ways than one. And after hearing Liam and Brian talk about how happy endings are boring and tragedy means something, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is a partially generationally caused divide in regards to what we feel makes for a good story.

I just believe there is more value in earning your good ending and actually living to enjoy it, Matthew. How dare you. I dressed for a wedding, not a fourth death of my fave.

But what annoys me even more than Liam’s perfectly valid decision on how to end his character’s story which is up to him and I don’t have to like it and all, is how horny the fandom seems for tragedy porn. That’s also my main complaint about Liev’tel, who was built to milk everything she could out of the (self-inflicted) tragedy of Vax’s death. And why I was so happy to see Derrig, who only tried to do that once and it was awkward and kind of funny in a way and subdued.

But as soon as the wedding announcement happened, you couldn’t turn around in fandom spaces without bumping on someone’s hot take about how tragic it was that Vax wasn’t there and how devastated Vex would be and Keyleth because she’ll never get a wedding (for the entire millenium she’s gonna live, god dammit you guys) and let’s name twin babies after him and how can anything ever not be about that Vax died young and tragic you guys?

As Percy said in his vows, it’s really easy and really common to romanticize the darkness, and this fandom could teach master classes on it.

So what I truly, honestly appreciate about Vax’s appearance and Liam’s portrayal of it is how completely and utterly divorced it was from romanticizing death. The words he said had a tendency towards that, sure, but how he said them (“Stop being weird! Talk normal!”) and the associated body horror?

That’s not pretty. That’s properly disturbing. And as @lindira put it, probably caused more harm than good for the other characters on the long run.

Liam didn’t shy away from portraying how death would change a person, mushrooms growing from you and all. Vax has been dead for longer than the rest of the party combined, and it did his immortal soul no good. And all the body horror elements line up well with the oddities that already came with dead man walking Revenant!Vax in the last episodes of campaign 1. The occasional creepy scene got overshadowed by our larger shared narrative about the tragic pretty boy who died young and beautifully, and I appreciate that Liam reminded us that there’s nothing pretty about any of this.

Partially because it  put a cost to death, something everyone has tried to convey one way or the other, but the narrative needed to move on and we’ve never really given it the appreciation we should have. For example, to this day people consider Broomgate to be a result of greed and not of Vex working through her first death which went largely ignored in favor of Vax’s pain about it. I’m not bitter, your bitter.

So I appreciate going for creepy to taint the romanticism of death here. I appreciate adding the gross to the beautiful tragedy. It felt more real to me, and less about milking the sadness for all it was worth.

I also, like Page in the post I linked in the beginning, take some petty validation out of how this appearance is probably going to affect future depictions of post-death Vax in fanworks. Or in the words of my very good friend @returnofismasm:

[castellankurze]

freestyle rewriting the heresy yet again

because stuff occurred to me last night after that post about the traitor primarchs

if you wanna do the greek tragedy right every traitor primarch should have a primary flaw and a lesson that they fail to learn which overcomes them in the end

Fulgrim is obsession, or ‘perfection is the enemy of the good.’  Fulgrim has been good at everything his whole life. he turned Chemos from a dying shitpit into a vibrant and peaceful world, and when called up to become a warrior and commander he became a damn good one.  He even built up his legion from almost nothing after disaster nearly wiped them out.  But now he’s actually competing with people on his level and it gets to him.  He trains himself almost religiously, struggling to cut away the imperfections.  He expects his legion to always improve; uniformly, to Fulgrim there’s nothing more disgraceful than failing to better yourself, no matter the circumstances, no matter how unreasonable it may be.  It’s what leads him to letting Fabius tinker recklessly with the legion geneseed.  To steal a line from the stewniverse “if I’m not perfect then who am I?”

His friendship with Ferrus is something that should be cast as the anchor on Fulgrim’s flights of fancy.  Ferrus is prosaic and hardworking and responsible, gruff and bluff and earthy; he acts as a balance to Fulgrim’s mounting fanatical belief that he must be the best at everything at all times.  Ferrus’ death can thus be cast as the loss of reason amidst the insanity of the heresy, and it’s what snaps Fulgrim’s last ties to sanity leaving him to plunge himself and his legion wholesale into the service of Slaanesh.

Perturabo is cold logic, or ‘humans aren’t rational.’  Perturabo believes that the ideal being is a Renaissance Man, the great thinker, expert in all fields, unburdened by such petty things as ‘emotion’ or ‘bonds’ or ‘human interest’.  Perturabo believes mankind is best served by shutting up, sitting down, and working.  Human error is a failstate and not to be countenanced.  But people don’t function like that, fundamentally can’t function as if they’re datasheets on a page, and Perturabo gets irked when they don’t.  Because even Perturabo doesn’t function like that, not really - he’s like one of those rationalists who claim they can operate perfectly logically, then throw a screaming tantrum when faced with a conclusion they don’t like.

Perturabo alienates everyone around him - his brethren, his legion, even his homeworld.  To his eyes, they all fail him by not meeting his standards; they’re all too human, too soft.  Perturabo’s insistence that he is incapable of failure is what tragically leaves him wide open to manipulation by Horus, who drives him and the Iron Warriors further and further into their self-dug bitterness and isolationism until Olympia itself revolts and the last nail is pounded into the coffin.

Konrad Curze is vengeance, or ‘fear exists to be conquered.’  Curze took control of Nostromo through savage terrorism, cowing the populace and the gangs and the murderers who preyed on people through shocking acts of murder and barbarism.  He’s so good at it, though, that he never acknowledges the critical flaw - when he leaves Nostromo, he takes away the object of people’s fear, and he never setup a system to govern them without the threat of retaliation.  The Night Lords become staffed with psychopaths and murderers, their unity as a legion slowly fraying.  Curze himself sees torturous visions and nightmares, but it’s all without context, and he doesn’t particularly like wearing the device the Emperor made for him to curb the worst of it because he feels like it makes thinking difficult, so he just does without, becoming more erratic and unpredictable.  In the end he lets himself be done in, with the line ‘death is nothing compared to vindication’ which can arguably taken as a recognition that he had become the kind of monster he once hunted.

Angron is, of course, rage or, to quote tumblr, ‘the hate you feel will warm your heart but leave you cold in the grave’.  Of all the primarchs he’s the one with whom you can most do the cycle of violence thematic.  He’s taken as a slave as a gladiator, leads a revolt, he’s ‘rescued’ by the Emperor on the brink of a crushing defeat, and becomes a rampaging one-man slaughterhouse loosed upon the galaxy.  Angron’s response to his mistreatment is two-pronged: a total rejection of any authority deemed untrustworthy, fueled by his upbringing and the Emperor’s high-handedness, and a colossal hate-on for anything and everything.  Angron wallows in his hate, because for him hate and violence are easy.  The result is that he’s something of a foil for Perturabo - Angron doesn’t think, because he doesn’t like to think.  The World Eaters become a riot of bloodthirsty killers, the librarians and chaplaincy first sidelined and then, at least in the case of the former, eliminated, because they’re not savage enough.

If the plot device of the battle cybernetics (’Butcher’s Nails’ in the BL series) is kept, it’s primary use is as a plot device to show the cycle of abuse - Angron has it forced on him as a child, he forces it upon his legion in turn.  I’ve never been a great fan of the Nails as a plot device (especially in the BL series; it makes things too easy) because it’s not like they’re necessary to push someone into a Khornate rage, but they can work as a tipping point to help push the legion over the edge, especially back by Horus’ manipulations.

Mortarion is resentment, specifically, ‘bitterness is a poison.’  Like how Angron wallows in rage and Curze wallows in the fear he causes, Mortarion wallows in bitter hatred.  He hates the aliens who ruled Barbarus, especially the one who raised him, he hates the poisons of his homeworld itself, he hates the Emperor, and most of all he hates himself.  Mortarion falls into the trap of constantly comparing what we might have been to what we are - if he’d been found by humans. if he’d landed on a different world.  if he’d taken the Emperor up on his offer of aid.  if he didn’t need to wear a damn rebreather.  Nevertheless he surrounds himself with the trappings of his home, poisons and toxins and rad-weapons because they’re his, dammit, and fuck you for trying to take them away from him.  Mortarion keeps slogging onwards with what he’s got because there’s nothing else to him.

Magnus the Red is haughtiness, or ‘ivory-tower intellectualism.’  When you’re willing to learn and Magnus is willing to teach, he’s a great guy.  When he’s willing to learn and you’re willing to teach, he’s a great guy.  But Magnus has been either student or teacher for most of his life, and he has trouble defining a relationship outside those bounds.  He’s that guy who’s an expert on anything he’s studied for five minutes, even though you know he never heard of it six minutes ago.  And if you’re better at him than something, well, it’s something he’s never studied.  Magnus can be exasperating, and, in considering the fate of his legion, dangerous.  The Thousand Sons have a very strong ‘for me and not for thee’ streak to him, delving deeply into study of the warp and sorcerous practices that scream Bad Idea and ignore any attempts to warn them off of it, because they know better.  They’re not going to fall into any traps.  Even the Council of Nikaea, what should be taken as a dire warning to shape up, does little more than throw Magnus into a extended snitfit about the Emperor’s unwillingness to see things his way.

Horus is, of course, ambition, and ‘pride goeth before a fall.’  When the Emperor retreats from the Crusade to, you know, run the Imperium, Horus takes over the campaign trail personally, spending long years heading up the Imperium’s conquest of the galaxy, and as the awards and adoration and adulation and accolades and other a-words pile up he starts getting it into his head that he ought to be the rightful ruler of the whole shebang.  While recovering from wounds on the planet Davin, he’s introduced to the powers of the warp through the warrior lodges there, and so strikes a fateful bargain to sway the greater power of the Imperium’s war machine to his side along with his brothers and topple the Emperor.  He becomes a creature unlike any seen before or since, a font of Chaos power such that even the four great powers seem more held than holders of his leash.  Drunk on power - both the political and very, very real kinds - it’s not until things fall apart aboard his flagship that Horus realizes how very, very badly he’s fouled up.

Lorgar is zealotry, or to be more accurate ‘you can’t externalize self-righteousness.’  Lorgar frames his mindset as a search for truth, but really what he wants is what everybody wants: to be on the right side.  Lorgar’s problem is that he fundamentally cannot internalize the idea that morality is what you do, or to quote Horus Rising ‘we must be mighty because we are right, not right because we are mighty.’  Lorgar grows up steeped in the old faith of Colchis, but when he starts having visions and the existing power structure rejects him, he overthrows it because he knows he’s right, the universe told him he’s right, and when the Emperor shows up he feels validated, and doesn’t even notice how Emps is a little put off by the displays of veneration.  When he goes on the Crusade he turns it into a literal religious crusade, stopping at every planet to fully convert it before moving on.

Eventually the Emperor shows up to kick him into gear, because the Word Bearers are the S L O W E S T legion by far and their ties to other legions are fraying and maybe put down some of the religious stuff.  Lorgar cannot reconcile this discrepancy between the image of the God-Emperor he believes he understood perfectly and the actual Emperor telling him to cool it and basically dissociates himself into next month.  Eventually this one dude named Kor Phaeron who Lorgar’s known since they were kids suggests maybe Lorgar should go back and look at the old faiths again, at which point Lorgar starts digging into a new, and to him, even bigger ‘truth’ than the Emperor.  Then a dude from the Sons of Horus arrives and shit goes buckwild.  But for all the work he’s done, Lorgar still can’t see himself as anything but a vessel for truth, effectively sheltering himself under the Horus and the Chaos gods instead of the Emperor, and when things go sideways on Terra he all but collapses because he can’t understand how shit’s gone south again.

Alpharius, finally, is the inferiority complex, or ‘don’t define yourself by your relationships to others.’  Alpharius is not only the last primarch, he’s the last primarch to be publicly discovered, so late in the Crusade that the Emperor’s already handed the reins over to Horus.  As a result, everyone else has an achievement list as long as their arm and people won’t stop fucking comparing Alpharius and the XX Legion against the others.  Alpharius is an A+ tactical commander, but this shit makes him mad as hell.  He names the XX the Alpha Legion to emphasize how badass they are and drills the shit out of them at the chapter, company, and even squad level until they know their shit backwards and forwards.

For Alpharius, there’s no question of whose side he’s on, because Horus is his big bro and he doesn’t care for the Emperor.  Ironically, despite his keen strategic mind, Alpharius is unable to recognize the bigger picture of how Horus and the other traitor legions are...maybe getting a little sketchy?  He just knows this is gonna be his chance to get back at the folks who shit-talked him and his boys.  Instead of joining the march on Terra, the Alpha Legion goes across the galaxy, harrying the Ultramarines, the Space Wolves, and the Dark Angels.  But unlike Alpharius, Guilliman can stay focused on the big picture, and though delayed it’s ultimately the word of the reinforcements coming in that causes Horus to throw down with the Emperor.  Of course the Alpha Legion goes on their merry way, until the fight at Eskrador where Alpharius finally gets to stick it to Bobby G - he dies, but he’s lured the Ultramarines into an untenable position and ultiamtely they’re the ones who have to retreat.  But afterwards, the blind spot comes back into play, and the Alpha legion ultimately fragments and goes sailing into the Eye of Terror and the other warpstorms along with the other traitor legions because nobody knows enough of the Plan anymore.

this post got longer than i meant it to be but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what can i say even though it’s been almost a decade now since i stopped seriously following 40k books i still have The Thoughts about the little plastic dudes

[paindealt]

@kathexismania​ | starter.

Never in his miserable life had Kuai Liang been engulfed in such a burning FURY. Not even when he would be sitting in an isolated room, body littered with bruises as punishment for goring against the Grandmaster's approval. This violent rage couldn't even be compared to what his mind conjured upon hearing of his brother's tragic death. It caused him to understand the dead Shirai Ryu. What emotions were running through that were assaulting him during the brutal murder of Bi-Han. His feet stride in mighty steps as he aggressively searched for Scorpion. It was a determined march for a man who thought he’d suffer a panic attack just mere moments ago.

Oh yes, indeed -- Sub-Zero was filled with so much anger, he couldn’t contain the overwhelming emotion; wanted to unlock his jaw & let it all spew out. & although belligerence was once directed towards Scorpion afore, at Shao Kahn’s sick & sadistic tournament... he was not searching for the Specter with malice. Alternatively, it was for something nobody in all the realms would be able to fathom, not even the Elder Gods.

He was seeking Scorpion out for an alliance.

Lord Raiden had apprised him of everything regarding his life. How the Lin Kuei had not took him in when his parents died, but in truth, they killed them in cold blood then proceeded to kidnap he & his brother. THEY WERE HELPLESS BABIES, DAMMIT !! Could it get worse ? It did. The Thunder God also informed him of the Lin Kuei’s most immoral deeds; working with Outworld, slaughtering innocents without honor, &... killing Hanzo Hasashi along with his entire family. His own brother’s soul was even tainted by these barbarous people; having been the ruthless warrior to seize Hanzo’s spine, as though Hanzo was nothing more but a mere deer. Just imagining his brother committing such a horrific act, Kuai's stomach could stir gravely. Although the Lin Kuei had dealt pain over, & over... viciously beaten & shamed him for being too weak, for being too HUMAN. Kuai thought it signified something, that there was a justifiable reason for the terrible suffering they drove him through. Maybe they had cared for him, having no desires to see him when up like his parents. But now... now Kuai realized they were never a family, just evil, selfish fiends who used him as nothing more but a weapon.

Initially, upon finding out how much he’s been lied to, hurt -- how the people he presumed to be family has ruined his life & any normalcy he could’ve achieved. -- Kuai wanted to break down & cry. After Raiden had finished, he wanted to collapse & start screaming until his lungs burst. But... he didn’t. Even though he was out of breath, Kuai Liang did not cry. Instead, he thanked Raiden & went on his own way. & ever since then, he’s been eerily speechless. Ambulating forward as though he was more machine than man.

Until... he ceased movement. Kuai knew where to find Scorpion -- being a tragedy of the Netherrealm. Hell was dangerous to tread upon, but it’s as though Kuai had forgotten what it was like to feel fear, all his emotions have been replaced with intense rage & hurt.

Sub-Zero recognized Scorpion would not be overjoyed to see his face. After all, they didn’t particularly have a friendly fight at the tournament -- not only was fists thrown about, but so was hurtful words.

“ I am not here for a fight, ” he stated firmly. “ I now know what they did to you. ” Refusing to utter ‘my clan’, Kuai no longer sees himself as one, in fact -- he no longer saw himself ever as a Lin Kuei -- only one of its victims. “ I wish to assist you in your quest for revenge. I have a similar goal now. ”

[hungarianrhapsodyof1986]

Seven’s a Lucky Number (part two)

Night Two

Joe was gone. There was no doubt about that.

But why, Ben thought, why him? All this could’ve been avoided if I just said it.

But you couldn’t, that’s what, said a nasty, slimy voice in his head. His phone continued to buzz with a continuous flow of messages from his friends, and although he didn’t want to check it; didn’t want to hear them repeat the news, he reluctantly checked their messages.

From Rami:

<Oh my god. Ben, did you hear the news???>

<What happened? Why was he in London???>

<Ben... are you alright?>

<Ben, buddy, you okay?>

From Lucy:

<Ben, I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect this to happen. Well, nobody did, but>

<I’m just really worried for you>

<Stay strong, okay, Ben?>

<Just hang in there>

<It doesn’t seem like it now, but everything will be alright>

And finally, from Gwilym:

<Ben>

<How are you, mate?>

<I know you’re not good, so I guess you won’t read this>

<But I’ll say it anyway>

<There is something Joe told me>

<About you>

<But I promised him I would never say it>

<Even under pain of death>

<I don’t know if I should’ve even told you that, actually>

<But I want you to know>

<And believe me when I say this>

<Joe really really REALLY cared about you>

<Just as how much you cared about him>

<And although he’s...>

<He’ll always keep caring for you>

<I may not know just how much he means to you, Ben>

<But I dare say it’s so damn much>

<So please, don’t blame yourself for this>

<For whatever reason your bloody imaginative mind will come up with>

<See you later, Ben>

<Really, ‘cause I’m going to check up on you even though it’s late>

<Rami, Lucy, Allen and Aaron have been messaging me nonstop>

<We’re all really worried about you>

<So just wait, Ben>

<Just wait>

Ben shakily texted replies to them saying he was fine, he will hang on and see you, then. He collapsed onto the couch which Frankie jumped onto, and she settled on his lap, as if sensing her owner’s despair. She was always so perceptive of him... it was amazing, and Ben felt lucky to have her. Especially now.

There were tears at the corners of Ben’s eyes that refused to fall, and he would not allow them to. He lifted his face and stared at the ceiling, plain, the sadness crushing his heart.

It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault, and now he’s dead.

How would he explain this to his friends now? How could he dare say he was the indirect reason why Joe died? “Hey guys, I kinda... screwed up something, and Joe left. I think that’s how he got into an accident.”?

Ben couldn’t even bring himself to laugh.

Gwilym’s text messages were sent some time ago, so Ben expected he’d be there in either a minute or two.

The rest of his time was spent in eerie silence, mournfully petting Frankie as she curled up in his lap like a cat, ironically.

After a while came a knock on his front door.

Ah, there he is.

Frankie jumped off of his lap and Ben stood, heading to the door to open it.

“Come in, Gwi—“ Ben was able to say before Gwilym was embracing him tightly. It wasn’t usual for him to do that, but Ben could sense he needed it that very moment. And admittedly, so did he. Ben returned the embrace and buried his face in Gwilym’s chest, exhaling a breath he never knew he was holding in.

Gwilym then put a hand on each of Ben’s shoulders, holding him at a distance. His eyes were too bright for Ben’s liking, and it just showed how much Joe’s death had hurt him too.

“I’m still in denial, if I must admit,” Gwilym said. “But the news wouldn’t lie about that, would it?”

“I’m not sure, Gwil. And honestly... it’s just too much for me to care anymore. If the news is lying, then those pompous wankers can go screw themselves, for all I care. But I don’t think they’re lying. Not now,” Ben replied.

“Would you like to go there?” Gwilym asked, referring to the scene of the accident.

“And be the tragic lover who just didn’t just have the time to say something?” Ben asked, wincing when Gwilym looked at him in utter awe, his jaw dropped. “No.”

“You were going to say it?”

“Say what?” Ben asked, attempting to play dumb. Gwilym was not fooled.

“Come on,” the latter said. “Let’s talk about this, okay? It’s better that way.”

“I dunno if I want to talk about that, mate,” Ben said, but he allowed himself to be dragged to the couch.

And that’s how the two ended up talking, sipping from glasses of wine as they chatted about earlier night’s events.

“So, why was Joe in London in the first place?” Gwilym asked first.

Ben rubbed at his face with his right hand, the left holding his glass of wine. “Rami asked me that, too. Just didn’t bother to answer him. I had insisted I could go back here by myself, but Joe just... refused. I don’t know why. Stubborn.”

Gwilym did not seem surprised. “Uh-huh.”

“How is he? Rami?” Ben asked. Then he paused for a while. “In fact, how is everyone?”

“Seriously concerned for you. Everyone is.”

“They don’t... know, do they?”

Gwilym gave him a look that plainly told him otherwise. Ben internally swore. Were they really that obvious? No, no, rephrase that. Was he really that obvious? Because Joe... Ben was quite certain he didn’t feel the same. How could he?

“Well bloody hell.”

“What happened?”

“We rode a cab going here then got settled in. Ate some shortbreads and brushed our teeth. He was on the couch, ready to sleep when I called his attention then he opened his eyes and I said it was nothing then he rushed out of the house with his luggage and—and—“

Gwilym placed his and Ben’s wineglasses on the coffee table nearby and placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder. He looked into Ben’s eyes, tears slipping freely, something Ben was doubtlessly not proud of.

“Ben. Breathe. Breathe. Slow breaths, come on now,” Gwilym said, patting Ben’s shoulder lightly. Ben shielded his eyes with a hand, attempting to use deep breaths to calm himself down, but instead had his breaths coming out quickly and harshly, lips trembling.

“I should’ve told him, you know?” Ben said, hand still covering his eyes. “He wouldn’t have left if I told him. If I weren’t such a coward, he’d be here right now.”

“Remember what I told you. Don’t go blaming yourself. Yes, maybe you should have said something, but you had your own reasons, too. It’s not easy confessing to the person you’ve liked for... how long, Ben?”

“Months. It’s been months, Gwil.”

“Just understand this. Joe’s in a better place now.”

“I—I know... it’s just that I miss him so much. So damn much.”

“I know.”

Gwilym allowed a moment of silence to pass between them before Ben was wiping at his eyes, his silent tears now coming to a stop. His breaths were still hitching, however, and his shoulders continued to jump, unbidden, as he took his wineglass from the coffee table and downed all the wine within in one go.

“Woah there,” Gwilym said, eyes widening. He moved the now-empty wineglass from Ben’s lips, and Ben looked at him with an expression indecipherable, eyes red-rimmed and dark.

“Give me another,” Ben commanded. Gwilym wouldn’t budge. He knew this was a bad idea, and an inebriated Ben was never a good thing.

“No,” Gwilym said, and Ben made to grab his wineglass, still half-full. Or half-empty, in his opinion. Gwilym took his glass away and downed the wine in a matter of seconds, forgetting to sip in his haste.

“Gimme another,” Ben insisted again, and Gwilym shook his head. “No, Ben,” he said.

“Dammit, Lee!” Ben shrieked. “Just give me another!”

Still, Gwilym would not do it. “Sorry, Ben. I won’t.”

Then Ben’s frame was trembling again, tears forming in his eyes once more. “Please, Gwil. Just—I just want to forget.”

“And drinking won’t help you. You know that, Ben.”

“Not even a smoke?”

“Nope.”

Ben sighed and slumped, defeated at last. Gwilym started at his friend with furrowed brows, angry at how, out of all people, it was both Joe and Ben who must go through this tragedy. He felt defeated, himself.

But he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong for Ben who needed it most.

Keeping the sadness out of his tone, Gwilym said “now, up you get. Let’s bring you upstairs, shall we?” He extended his hand, and Ben took it, allowing himself to be brought up the stairs, his feet dragging themselves as he climbed up.

“You think you can brush your teeth?” Gwilym asked.

“I’m tired, Gwil, not an invalid,” Ben said, teeth gritted. Gwilym merely held his hands up in surrender. Ben sure did feel bad for acting like a jerk especially to Gwilym, but he’s tired, he’s just gone through something heartbreaking, and his whole world’s just changed for him. He feels as if he’s already broken under the great pressure pushing down on him, and he needs a break.

“Sorry, Gwil. I’m not usually like this,” Ben apologises anyway.

“It’s alright, Ben. I understand where you’re coming from,” Gwilym said sincerely. “But really... think you can brush your teeth?”

“I guess I’ll be sticking to mouthwash tonight.”

“Go ahead.”

“You’re not leaving?”

“Will, but only after I’ve made sure you’ve gone to bed. You deserve a rest.”

“Thanks for... everything, Gwil.”

“Anytime, mate.”

After Ben had gargled and changed his clothes in the lavatory, he went into the bedroom and hugged Gwilym again, patting the taller man’s back in appreciation. “Thanks, man,” he said again. Gwilym nodded.

Ben pulled away, and Gwilym said “okay, I think it’s time for me to go. ‘Nite, Ben.”

“‘Nite, Gwil,” Ben said, and Gwilym was off.

He doubted he would sleep well this night, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

***

When Ben woke, he was in a cab with Joe beside him. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Joe? Alive? Beside him? It was all too good to be true.

“Joe? What are you doing here?” Ben asked, not at all wishing Joe wasn’t beside him that moment.

“Ben, I was with you on the plane going here,” Joe said. “Did you really think I’d allow you to go alone when I went all the way here to accompany you?”

“Well, no, but... I thought you were dead,” Ben said. “You died in a car accident last night.”

“Nice try, buddy. Are you trying to get back at me for the boat incident?”

“I can’t believe this. I must be dreaming.”

“Yeah, you’re totally trying to get back at me. Come on, Ben, as you told me, it’s not working. And even those pouty lips of yours won’t do the trick,” Joe added, smirking. Ben could not react properly to that, too engrossed in trying to interpret this ‘dream’.

The thing was, it wasn’t. But Ben wouldn’t know that.

“Wow,” Ben said. “I must’ve drank too much last night. But it was just one glass...” he mumbled.

“Okay, Ben, you’re starting to freak me out for real here. We definitely did not drink last night. All we did was stare at the stars on the balcony. Don’t you remember that?” Joe sounded a bit hurt at that, but Ben couldn’t bring himself to mind. “Also,” Joe added. “I never took you for a lightweight.”

“This dream... it’s nice. I know this isn’t real. Later, I’m going to wake up, and it’s all going to be over.”

“Ben. Stop acting. What’s gotten into you?” Joe really sounded worried that moment, and he laughed nervously. “Maybe you should’ve been nominated for an Oscar or something, yourself.”

“I better let it out now. You’ll forget it, anyway.”

“Let what out now? Ben, if this is a prank, it’s gone too far. And what are you saying? I’ll forget wha—“

“Joe, I love you.” Ben interrupted; quite foolishly, in fact.

“What?” Joe said blankly. “Ben, now this is too much. Don’t go saying stuff like that if you don’t mean it.”

“But I really do! Joe—“ Ben tried, attempting to grab Joe’s hands within his own. It resulted in failure and hurt, for Joe commanded the cab driver to stop the car—much to the cab driver’s confusion—and he hurriedly unlocked the door and climbed out stormily.

Now, Joe wasn’t insane. He was well aware of his actions, but he couldn’t care. Not then. He marched away, not even bothering to take his luggage from the trunk of the cab.

“Joe! Joe! What the hell are you doing? Don’t leave!” Ben begged. He then made a move to hurry towards the ginger, but Joe was already far away, leaving for the next cabstand. Ben doubted he had any pounds on him, but in that state, he assumed Joe wouldn’t care at all.

He noticed the light had turned green, and had no choice but to climb back into the cab, the driver utterly astounded at both their exchange and the actions that followed. He distinctly heard the driver mutter ‘mad blokes’ under his breath, but he was too stuck in his disbelief to care. He tried everything he could to ‘wake’ himself up, but none of it worked.

Ben arrived home not long after, taking both his and Joe’s luggages from the trunk of the cab and paying the driver who sped away as soon as the fee was paid. Ben just shook his head. It was understandable, what the driver did, for he would have done the same were he in his position.

He greeted Frankie hello and opened the telly, not bothering to fix his and Joe’s stuff, and watched the news; nervous. Perhaps this Joe wouldn’t die. Perhaps this dream would spare him.

But it did roll in; the dreaded news. Some time later.

It was somewhat expected, but Ben couldn’t guess how anything was possible. It was as if the night had repeated itself.

No, he thought. I must be going insane.

Ben then went to bed that night with thoughts of only Joe on his mind, grateful he had been given the chance to talk to him even if it had turned out to be a horrible disaster. The dream was nice while it lasted, he pondered, and he closed his eyes, waiting for the morning to come and sweep everything away, just like it always did.

Yet, the night would repeat until the time came it didn’t.

***TO BE CONTINUED***

[touchmycoat]

Can I ask for the Whitebeards knowing Marco and Ace are in a relationship and thinking Sabo is a homewrecker because MAS are a bunch of trolls?

ASKDJFKSDJFKSD OKAY I’M REALLY–

I’ll try to finish this now that I remember it again thanks to you, but I def started writing a returning-to-the-Moby fic, set immediately post-Second Chances:

Rated T for mild descriptions of violence

The Grand Line sure was a funny sort of place. Sometimes, Thatch thought, the “Grand” in “Grand Line” stood for “Grand Irony,” or “Grand Tragedy,” or “Grand Piece of Shit.”

Take, for instance, the matter of his brother. No not that one, the other one. No, the other one. No, the other—

Take, for instance, the matter of Marco. “Grand Sap of a Man.” Thatch loved and respected Marco with all his heart, but as with most crewmates (especially ones who have been on the same ship for well over a goddamn decade), Thatch has also come to learn of Marco’s character flaws. Has gotten into screaming fights with Marco about his character flaws. You’re too much of a softie, Thatch might say in exasperation on a good day. Get off your self-sacrificing high horse already, he might snap on a bad one.

See, Marco’s whole martyrdom schtick would be wholly contrived if it weren’t for his stupid fruit. Don’t get him wrong, Thatch was, 99.9% of the time, glad about Marco the Phoenix being Second in Command on their ship. But that 0.1%, when Marco got into those frenzies of determination to give and give and give until he had nothing left, with very little consideration to everything and everyone else, those were what made Thatch angry.

(One of those screaming matches in question served a great example. Division One doctors and nurses had returned from the war-ravaged city they’ve landed at with haunted eyes and shaking hands. It hadn’t been the fighting and the violence, really. It had been their Commander’s ceaseless and insensitive demands for the medical crew to keep draining blood, removing organs, and cutting skin grafts from his person. No anesthetic, and he never even flinched under the scalpel.

That makes it worse, why can’t you understand that, Thatch remembered growling into Marco’s face. He cared for all his adopted siblings, but there was another doctor in particular that he had grown quite close to. She had been one of those stumbling into Thatch’s kitchen, desperate for a cup of coffee to settle her nerves.

Why can’t you understand the rules are different for me yoi, Marco snapped back. There was blood staining his shirt, probably his own. This is what I’m capable of thanks to this fruit, how can I do any less?

So for every patient you heal, you traumatize a crewmate?

Marco had been so offended that they didn’t speak for a week, and it took Pop’s intervention—a rare thing, considering Pop’s philosophy of well-they’ll-get-along-sooner-or-later-and-murder-attempts-are-fine—to finally mend the rift between them.)

Thatch hardly liked getting annoyed or angry with Marco, but after the whole Teach debacle, he felt like it might become necessary again. Not even because of the thing with Teach himself, but because of what came after. Or rather, who came after. A certain young man, with blond hair and nice clothes, Ace’s matching set.

Thatch couldn’t believe, of all the things time-traveling could’ve yielded for Marco, bringing back Ace’s childhood sweetheart and rekindling their love was on the goddamn checklist.

“Like, this is beyond stupid, even for you,” Thatch immediately began to complain, the moment he stepped through the threshold of Marco’s room. “Why would you—Huh? I’ve been trying to tell you this for ages, but sacrifice as a look on you only goes so far.”

Setting down the book he was reading, Marco carefully clasped his hands together and looked up at Thatch. His words were polite—

“You have mentioned that before, yes.”

—but his expression clearly read, oh god, this again?

“I’m not even talking about the giving up your powers thing, or the not telling any of us your secret thing, or the trying to kill yourself in Marine custody thing.” Fine, so maybe Thatch was still a little bit mad about the whole thing with Teach. He did almost die from it; he deserved to be angry about Marco’s executive decision to exclude him from any of the important fighting. “I’m talking about the Sabo thing.”

Frown lines appeared between Marco’s brows.

“The Sabo thing?”

“Just—why?”

Marco, suddenly, looked hunted, his shoulders bunching up in defensiveness.

“Listen yoi, if you’re trying to tell me it’s a bad idea, I know, alright? But I just—I guess I only want—”

“—only want Ace to be happy, blah blah blah, I know,” Thatch interrupted, waving his arms about in annoyance. “But you didn’t have to, you get that? You’re perfectly capable of making Ace happy yourself, but no, instead you went and resurrected his dead boyfriend to let them be happy. This is a new low for you, Marco. Dammit you piss me off sometimes.”

“I—”

So busy was Thatch with dispelling the frustration clouding his mind, that he missed the expression of dawning realization, then the devious grin that flashed across Marco’s face, before Marco schooled his features back into something tragic once more.

“You’re right yoi,” Marco said mournfully. “But they really do deserve to be happy, you know? I had to give them the relationship they asked for.”

“But Ace wanted you.” Yes, now that Sabo and Ace were together, Sabo was technically part of the family, and Thatch really had nothing against the kid. But Thatch could play favorites if he wanted, fuck that. “You realize that, right? Like, full on pining from dusk ‘til dawn, folding your clothes particularly nice on laundry duty, smiling when he got to your dirty dishes on dishwashing duty, all that disgusting stuff.”

“Oh?” Voice going appropriately strained, Marco bit his lip the way he sometimes did when he was trying to keep a straight face (though Thatch didn’t think that was it—after all, why would he be laughing at this surely heartbreaking information?). “I didn’t realize. Tell me more.”