#just lee know being a funky lil dude as usual <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[shorelinnes]

lee know: human idol theater

[melonoverlord]

Ask meme for our fave tree kid

1. What would be their favorite Disney (or other animated) movie?

As a parent, they have an attachment to Lilo and Stitch just because they’re doing their best to take care of a baby girl and they have no fucking clue what they’re doing. Plus Stitch is just a funky lil dude. But they actually are ride or die for the Lion King, especially Mufasa’s relationship with Simba. They cry each and everytime he dies and they always try to ask Yaya how she would take care of herself if something happened to them.

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Since usually they eat breakfast to cure their hangovers, they like cooking eggs they find in trees along with some of the plants they can identify. If they’re in town, they will go hard on any greasy sandwiches they can find. Anything fried or soaked in butter and grease.

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

They’re only a big cuddler with their kiddos Yaya and Buttons, but when they’re high or drunk they really like to just lie in piles on top of their friends and tell them they’re pretty.

4. How do they say “I love you”?

If they are getting their life together to make sure yours is better than theirs, they are saying they love you in the biggest way. They are foregoing their own trauma to take care of someone else.

5. What kind of shoes do they wear?

Big black boots they got from their father right before they were exiled from their village.

6. What is their favorite accessory?

Their red sash. It’s ceremonial for good fortune and also one of the last things they have from their mother.

7. Are they more inclined towards fashion or comfort?

Comfort 100%. They are not a prime fashion goth like Ellie or an aesthetic trash man like Tarel. They are premium cronch.

8. What makes them laugh?

Tarel and Arzan doing stupid shit, their own jokes they make at 3am while they’re crossfaded, anytime Yaya makes a joke no matter how bad it is, and of course the hilarious content of feeding Matt’s dumb fucking hat to Buttons.

9. Do they have a favorite flower?

Does weed count? Otherwise, poinsettias. They’re just pretty.

10. Would they be the one to propose to their significant other?

Yes, only because otherwise they don’t think they’ll ever find a significant other or be proposed to. They want to exhaust all options before resorting to being a gigolo.

11. What bad habits do they have?

Smoking, drinking, sucking 7 dicks at once, consequently chopping off those dicks, having the self preservation of a jump rope, and generally making bad decisions about anything.

12. What are their biggest insecurities?

Being a bad mother because they lost their child, and being too stupid for the group because they can’t read that well.

13. How do they wear their hair?

Down and proud. It goes a little above their shoulder and is very shaggy.

14. Are they an impulse shopper? If so, what would they buy?

Ellie has to be their impulse control or else they will buy anything that remotely looks like a penis. And that’s when they’re sober. When they’re drunk or high, Ellie has to take their wallet away because they will try to spend their 100 gold all in one hour.

15. When do they usually sleep?

Never. Sleep is for the weak.

16.What makes them worry?

Mostly never finding Yaretzi or being enslaved again. They don’t care what happens to them much, but they need to find their daughter.

17. Do they have any creative outlets?

They’ve been dancing since they were a child, and love participating in the spiritual dances of their village to their ancestral spirits.

18. How do they comfort an upset loved one?

Pass the flask and take a fucking sip babe. Unless its their daughters in which case they will set the world on fire to hurt whoever caused them to feel pain.

19. What are they like when they’re sick?

They quarentine themself from the group, get a bunch of herbs, and wait to die.

20. Do they say what they’re thinking, or keep their thoughts to themselves?

For the most part they say their thoughts out loud because they are that bitch that will let the group know that their shit looks like a horse.

21. What is the best gift they’ve ever received?

Being taught to read by Ellie. Now they still feel stupid, but marginally less so.

22. Are they good at keeping track of time?

Surprisingly, they have a really good internal clock. Both from judging shadows and just being cautious.

23. What is their favorite ice cream flavor?

Classic chocolate.

24. What would they order from a fast food/take-out place?

Everything on the menu. Except anything with bell peppers or corn because they’re nasty.

25. What is their favorite pizza topping(s)?

Literally any topping you can think of. Someone needs to stop them.

26. What is their favorite type of cookie?

Weed brownies.

27. Do they paint their nails?

Nope. They are dirty and crunchy with no sense of class.

28. What is their favorite board game?

They are surprisingly good at Monopoly, despite having no actual money to their name. They may be an anarchist, but they can play the capitalist system if it will bankrupt Matt for everything he has.

29. Are they more of a pants or skirts kind of person?

They have not worn a skirt since they were five, and would fist fight anyone who tried to force them in a skirt.

30. Do they dream often? What about?

They dream a lot about finding Yaya a lot, which is usually happy, but it just makes them sad when they wake up.

31. Do they have any phobias?

The dark, whips, and men shouting.

32. If they were a pokemon, which would they be?

Mama Bear is definitely an Ursaring. Big, bear, and beautiful.

33. How well do they handle sea travel? Air travel?

Yeah, they’re pretty fine with both. They’ve spent a lot of their time up in the mountains of Aggan so they’ve never really been on a boat or on a plane, but the sinking pit in their stomach is the same when they’re in the trees, so they can handle it.

34. Which Disney character are they most like?

After much thought, they’d be Baloo from the Jungle Book. Both bears at least part of the time, crunchy, a lil stupid, has a questionably flirtatious relationship with a posh creature who’s way more qualified with them, but nonetheless is travelling the forest/jungle taking care of a sassy lil orphan. Also you can’t deny they would rock a coconut bra.

35. What sort of parent would they be?

It has been proven and shown that Xochitl would do absolutely anything for children and they have given so much of their life for Yaretzi and their own little siblings. They may not make the best decisions for themselves, but god damn if they don’t work their ass off to give their children the best life imaginable. They are a Lee making sure their Clementine can survive in a cold, uncaring world.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 4th November 2018

New episode right on time for once, and it’s actually a pretty short week; there’s not much to really talk about here at all. In fact, there are only three new arrivals to review, and nothing all that important happened in between, so let’s just get straight into the top 10.

Top 10

At number-one for the second consecutive week is “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper off the A Star is Born soundtrack.

At number-two, thanks to the video which I thought would make it zoom straight by “Shallow” and make an easy play to the top (not saying I like the song or video, either, but these girls are insanely popular over here), we have “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj, up four spots.

“Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down a space to number-four.

“Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is surprisingly holding on here, with only a one-position drop to number-four.

“Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille gets the same fate down to number-five.

At number-six, we have exactly the same drop for “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora.

To my surprise and dismay, it seems that the top 5 will have a new entry soon, as “ZEZE” by Kodak Black, Travis Scott and Offset continues to rise a spot to number-seven.

And of course, just as I said it was on its way out last week, “On My Mind” by Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino rebounds two positions up to number-eight. Joy.

Speaking of joy, I am very glad “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings is returning to the top 10, up four spaces to numer-nine.

And finally, “Electricity” by Silk City and Dua Lipa is down only one spot to #10, rounding off the top 10 very nicely.

Climbers

This might be a short episode, most likely, because there isn’t much of anything, and the charts are showing it pretty evidently, actually, simply because of the lack of quality between all these songs in the top 40. A lot of it isn’t all that bad either, just not worth remembering. Might as well talk about the two new top 20 entries: “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is up five to #18, becoming her eleventh top 20 hit in the UK (it will boost again due to an acoustic rendition duet with Ed Sheeran), while “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake featuring Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is up two spaces to #20 – this is DJ Snake’s fourth top 20 (and first since 2016), I believe Ozuna’s first ever (congratulations, even though judging on his awful performance on this song he probably doesn’t deserve it), Cardi B’s fourth and Selena Gomez’s ninth (eighth without the Scene).

Other big or notable climbers include: nothing. Oof.

Fallers

There were tons and I mean tons of fallers this week, but they were all so small, unimportant and easily ignorable, with only two really standing out. Those notable fallers were “High Hopes” by Panic! at the Disco falling five spaces to #24 (sadly, I really wanted this to break the top 10), and “Venom” by Eminem falling 10 spaces to #38, as the movie hype, and Eminem’s resurgence, steadily come to a halt.

Dropouts

“Thunderclouds” by LSD (Labrinth, Sia and Diplo) is out from #34 after a pretty dismissible run, “nASSty” by D-Block Europe and Lil Pino is out from its new arrival last week at #35 and “Falling Down” by the late Lil Peep and XXXTENTACION is finally out from #40.

Since there aren’t any returning entries, let’s discuss some promising or interesting happenings from outside the top 40 – “Lost in Japan” by Shawn Mendes is having some incredible boosts (currently at #45) due to a Zedd remix, so to see it coming back would be great – I love that song to death. Due to the film, Bohemian Rhapsody, the song it’s named after, “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, is back at #53. “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is also gaining traction, as it’s currently at #59, and I’d love to see Charli come back to the top 40, same with Troye. “Thriller” by Michael Jackson has returned to #63 due to Halloween, yet surprisingly not “Somebody’s Watching Me”. Oh, and “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes has finally made it to the UK at #68, and I want to see this find its way to the top 40 fast. I’ll tell you why if it doesn’t in 2019, probably, as there’s no question it’s making my year-end list if it doesn’t make Billboard’s 2018 list.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Close to Me” – Ellie Goulding and Diplo featuring Swae Lee

Hey, Ellie Goulding, that’s a familiar face to the UK Top 40 I’ve never actually talked about before. Well, this is her comeback single with Diplo and Swae Lee, and, naturally, it’s hit the UK Top 40 because Goulding’s a superstar, but lower than I expected to be perfectly honest. Nevertheless, this is Goulding’s 21st UK Top 40 hit (which is insane), Diplo’s eleventh (fourth as a solo artist, but he’s had God knows how many frolicking in the production and writing credits) and Swae Lee’s fourth (third as a solo artist – and this won’t be the last we see of him today). Is it able to compare with the artists’ other work, which has been mostly, for the record, pretty great? Well, kind of. I do love that guitar riff that starts off the song, picking up the pace only to be kind of trapped by Ellie’s lack of real vocal presence that she usually has (seriously, she feels like she’s not really bothering here), as well as the drippy synth in the verse and trap percussion (of course) that doesn’t really add much to make the chorus any more interesting than it is (not at all). The melody is uninspired and repetitive, and Swae Lee is still struggling to straddle the line between popstar duet and guest rap verse. That synth added right before the basically non-existent bridge is also pretty ugly, actually. Yeah, there’s not much to be redeemed with this song, and is just kind of a waste of time, in my opinion. I can easily see someone else liking this a lot though.

#34 – “when the party’s over” – Billie Eilish

Well, Eilish, funny seeing you in the top 40. Took a while. She’s had songs bubbling beneath the top 40 in both the UK and US for a while after being a bit of a young indie darling for a year or so, and after that “lovely” song with Khalid from the 13 Reasons Why soundtrack, this new song, “when the party’s over”, seems to be set to blow up, giving her new peaks on charts in the US, Austria, Canada and especially New Zealand, where it hit a peak of #3! This is Eilish’s first ever UK Top 40 hit, and it’s no surprise that I’ve heard only good things before hearing a single song from hers. We start with an ominous, intriguing synth that is then drowned out by lighter cloudy synths following Eilish’s beautiful (at times multi-tracked) vocal melody, until the deep bass kicks in for the catchy hook, with extra additions of piano to make it sound even prettier. Oh, and there’s these pitched-down, feedback-ish backing vocals (assumingly from producer FINNEAS) which sound really great. Eilish’s vocals here are really delicate, working incredibly effectively with the song, which, yes, never actually has any percussion kick in, which is a risky move for a pop song (most likely because she never intended it to hit any charts in the first place). After this and “lovely”, I have my ears out for her next project because this is freaking fantastic.

Now let’s tune down our expectations accordingly.

#14 – “Arms Around You” – XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Maluma and Swae Lee, with an honourable credit to Rio Santana

Okay when I ramble on about how it sucks XXXTENTACION is being posthumously milked, I’m not defending the dude or his actions, I’m just saying it’s pretty crummy for a record label to be doing this type of stuff with someone who’s dead and can’t refuse this type of tampering with his unreleased content. This song was initially written and performed with Rio Santana, planned to be on either Rio’s EP or X’s album ?, before it was replaced with another song featuring Rio, “I don’t even speak spanish lol” (yes, that’s really what it’s called), that also had vocals from Judah and Carlos Andrez. After X’s death, Lil Pump reached out to his mother to ask if he could honour his death by being on the song (which is completely in the right intentions, I may add), and then Swae Lee hopped on the track after what is seemingly a label decision. I can realistically see Swae being a fan of X prior to his death, so I’m not going to whine about that, but bloody Maluma? The dude probably didn’t know he existed, for goodness’ sake. Oh, and we’re getting Skrillex on the beat? XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee, Maluma and Skrillex; what a star-powered mess. Anyways, this is X’s fourth UK top 20 hit, Lil Pump’s second, what I believe to be Maluma’s first (congratulations, I guess), and Swae Lee’s fifth (fourth as a solo artist). Is the song worth all the controversy and all the label frickery? Yeah, probably not, because it’s trash. This bland, Latin-infected pathetic attempt at producing a 2018 pop song is pretty trite, with some ironic and nasally-performed lines from X about protecting his girl (ha) starting off the song, before developing into an admittedly pretty great verse from Lil Pump, demonstrating both a fast flow and some falsetto singing, although without much content to speak of but that’s expected. Not even Swae Lee’s badly-autotuned verse going in one ear and out the other. Maluma sucks too, what a surprise. I’d rather just not talk about this song and leave it here.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Maluma, Swae Lee, Rio Santana, Skrillex, Mally Mall and that tire fire of popular artists for “Arms Around You”, definitely, that’s worst-list material, whilst Best of the Week goes to Billie Eilish for “when the party’s over” – that’s a pretty great song. See ya next week!

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: 4.28.2007 & 4.29.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week.

4.28.2007

67) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," Fall Out Boy

The song has everything that's missing from "This Ain't a Scene." It's about something that is a thing, it's coherently put together, it has maybe the best chorus Fall Out Boy ever wrote (don't hold me to that), it's actually clever and not just trying hard to be clever (though it is trying very, very hard), and it has that breakdown, that "I only think in the form of crunching numbers" over the acoustic guitar that gets me every single time. This is the song that put me on the path to liking Fall Out Boy again after a couple of disappointing years. It’s what helped me accept that the adorable young boys of Take This to Your Grave were gone, but the confident snarklords had much to offer.

74) "Summer Love," Justin Timberlake

"Ridin' in the drop top/With the top down/Saw you switchin' lanes girl." "So chillin' in the front seat/In the back seat/I'm drivin', cruisin'/Fast lane, switchin' lanes." Which horrible line about switching lanes is from this 2007 hit, and which is from Rebecca Black's "Friday," the song everyone hated? What does switchin' lanes even mean in this context? No I'm not going to pay attention to the rest of this song, the rest of it probably sucks also as well, I wanna harp on this first line. Like how do you know a girl is sexy from the way she merges on the highway? Or are you in the club? If you're in the club, how on earth are you in a drop top with the top down, like what would that be a metaphor for? I can see how switchin' lanes would be the girl flirting with all sorts of boys, but what on earth is your drop top. Are you shirtless? Are you wearing an open leather jacket? I don't, ugh, all of your songs are bad, literally your entire catalogue infuriates me.

75) "The Story," Brandi Carlile

is there a better moment in music than when this song plugs in. that's a serious question. how many moments in other songs are better than "i climbed across the mountain tops/SWAM ALL ACROSS THE OCEAN BLUE." Like that was such a miracle the first time I heard it, it sounds like this sort of pretty song I might usually skip but stuck with for some reason, and then it goes absolutely insane, like first those drums come in and it's like, "Oh, this is more plugged in than I anticipated!" AND THEN WE'RE ON A ROCKET INTO THE FUCKING SUN. This is the only alt-country song that turns all the way up, and it has never stopped being a miracle.

84) "Earth Intruders," Bjork

/smiles politely /sorts gently into the 'not for me' pile there, there, dear sweet. you and i both know your home is not with me.

86) "Que Hiceste," Jennifer Lopez

Yo! So, the Jennifer Lopez Spanish-language track was dope as hell, which I didn't see coming. A thread through 2017 has been how dope the Latin pop songs are, and this is everything I want, something over-dramatic that I don't 100% understand but is funky enough to get into. It kind of tracks why it took me this long to hear it, I think the public was over J.Lo in 2007 and probably treated her Spanish-language album like a joke, but y'know what, I was wrong to not take her seriously, and my world is better with this song in it. Hey. Hey, everyone. It’s me, the man with music opinions, saying he likes a J.Lo song more than a Bjork song. Please give my opinions credence.

91) "Umbrella," Rihanna ft./Jay-Z

This is a towering achievement worthy of the onslaught of thinkpieces about its lasting impact sure to pop up on your favorite culture websites over the next couple of weeks. This is also the worst Jay-Z verse. At least the verse on "Monster" is stupid enough to be memorable. What even is that thing at the top of the song? How come I couldn't find an upload that cut his part out? It's literally at the beginning of the song and adds nothing, Jay-Z doesn't even ad-lib at all for the rest of the song, you could remove that and miss nothing. I'm focusing on the negative when this is one of the best pop songs there ever was. (It won't be #1 on the Top 20 because SAD INDIE SONGS YOU GUYZ, but it'll be at the forefront of the pop game.) Bless whoever heard this song and thought it should go to the girl who made "Pon de Replay," who heard "Pon de Replay" and heard the ability to carry this track home.

94) "I'm Throwed," Paul Wall ft./Jermaine Dupri

All these mid-aughts Houston rap singles have been way better than I expected. Also, I can't tell if "I'm a sharpshooter like Steve Kerr" was an outdated boast in 2007, or if it only seems outdated because Steve Kerr is a notable head coach in the National Basketball Association. Kerr was GM of the Suns in '07, wasn't he? Like I get his name rhymes, but you've gotta be able to name a more current basketball player than Steve Kerr, dude. Steve Novak was on the Rockets that season, literally his only NBA skill was the three, maybe try to squeeze him in there?

100) "It's Me Bitches," Swizz Beatz

it's disappointing that swizz beatz gave this beat to himself, but it's also perfectly understandable that no one else wanted to try to handle it. also if anyone wanted to hear the opposite of "Lady Marmalade," the remix features lil' wayne, r. kelly, and jadakiss, it features wayne and r. doing jamaican accents, and it starts with the words "voulez-vous couchez avec moi bitches." literally, the opposite of "Lady Marmalade."

The in-progress Top 20 for 2007: 20) “Kiss the G 20) "Que Hiciste," by Jennifer Lopez (4.28.2007) 19) "When I See U," by Fantasia (4.21.2007) 18) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 17) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 16) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 15) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.14.2007) 14) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 13) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 12) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 11) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 10) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 9) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 8) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 7) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 6) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 5) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 4) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 3) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) I think we all understand that “Kiss the Girl” is the Top 20, and that there is no reason to bother reviewing 2007 after last week, as “Kiss the Girl” was perfect.

4.29.2017

4) "Sign of the Times," by Harry Styles

...I can't deny that this is an ambitious song, and I cannot deny that it is focused in its ambition. If forced to make the choice, I would take this over ZAYN mumbling any day of the week. But you also made me listen to five and a half minutes of some misguided nonsense. This feels like a song you can sell once you've proven you can deliver the basics. This is the eleventh track of the rock opera you get to make once you have established enough credibility to sell a rock opera, the dark night of the soul a track or two before the climax of your career’s defining work, and it doesn't work as the first post-boy-band single. I can't believe this exists. Think of all the people who had to listen to this and sign off on it. "Yeah, a five-and-a-half minute epic ballad, that'll get the kids talking. That'll launch this kid into the stratosphere!" And, well, #4! hey! alright!, but fucking Liam could have a top-ten single tomorrow if he dropped a new track, #4 means nothing. I salute the ambition. I find nothing to applaud anywhere else.

50) "Now or Never," by Halsey

it's going to sound weird to critique halsey for lacking a sense of urgency on this song when that "hit the sin" song had ALL THE URGENCY but like as pleasant as it was to hear her whisper over a beat that bleeped and blooped agreeably, this song is called "now or never?" like this is the only time i've heard a halsey song where she seemed calm. maybe i just don't know what i want out of a halsey song. maybe this is Great and i'm just committed to not seeing what's Great in here. but like of all the songs to not overdramatize, you pick the one with an ultimatum! help me figure you out, dawg!

74) "Unforgettable," by French Montana ft./Swae Lee

This was fine! I have a thousand nitpicks -- ft./Swae Lee? FT./?! He was the entire song! -- but they, more than usual, add up to nothing here, because I enjoyed myself! Not the best song, not a song painting outside any lines, a song that'll prolly sound dated in 10 years (ah yes, 2017, when we revived dancehall for some reason), but a four minute ride through a nice part of Music Town!

79) "Everyday We Lit," by YFN Lucci ft./PnB Rock

The YouTube description informs the this is off the album Get the Nut, and my entire opinion of this song is colored by the fact of its origin. Fuck this. Like I know I'm supposed to judge the song and nothing else, but that album title tells me more about who this person is than anything on this world possibly could. And since we're talking about song-related ephemera, we've got dudes in rap videos wearing Toon Squad jerseys. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of wish he'd take this more seriously. You're on this song about how awesome life is, but life's not so awesome that you can't participate in irony? I don't get this choice you have made.

89) "Cake," by Flo Rida & 99 Percent

this is just a two and a half minute party jam about fucking. bless this song. no frills, nothing overly complicated, ya just start it up, there's maybe half a metaphor and a fuckton of "whoa-ohs" and we're done. flo rida is the reigning king of trash pop rap, and i would listen to this 40 times before i ever listened to more life again.

92) "Bar at the End of the World," by Kenny Chesney

This sounds like it was designed to be the soundtrack to your CVS shopping experience. CVS might be too urban for this song. This sounds like it's going to be the song that plays every single time you walk into a gas station in a rural area for the rest of your life. They delivered this to every convenience store out in the sticks, they assessed their primary music delivery system and dropped off the cassette or the CD or maybe they had to hex the radio, but this song has been delivered, and the proprietors know the drill. You will be on your way up north for a cousin's wedding, fill up the tank and maybe get a Cherry Coke and some Twizzlers, still got a bit of a drive ahead of you and hey what the hell it's a vacation have some sugar, and you will hear this song, because it is the only song you can hear. You'll hear precisely 71 seconds and won't mind or notice any of it, meaning the song will have done its job.

97) "Weak," by AJR

So this is an anthem about saying "fuck it" and making bad choices, which sounds like it'd be right up my alley? But I don't dig it, and I'm trying to nail down what I don't like about it. Something about this track irks me, and I'm like one word away from figuring out what that is. It's not the fact it kind of reminds me of "Love in This Club," though that doesn't help. Maybe it's just too precious? It's like the first draft of a Fun. song, the outline of where a song could go before they add specific details about the relationship and what makes giving into it such a bad idea. I don't leave this song knowing anything about these dudes, other than the fact they want desperately for other people to like them. Cloying. Cloying! That's the ticket! They want very badly for you to feel sympathy for their plight, but they don't want to be too honest about themselves, lest you find something unrelatable. It’s a song about a damaged person by people who aren’t open about their own damage.

99) "If I Told You," by Darius Rucker

this how you do me shane mcnally. this was the one thing i was looking forward to, and it's this. whatever. it's fine. what a dumb week.

100) "Flatliner," by Cole Swindell ft./Dierks Bentley

maybe it's not the chillest thing to praise flo rida for making garbage pop/rap but chide these yutzes for making what is basically the same song, but

The Top 20 for this week is the same as the Top 20 was last week because 2017 didn’t even fucking try. 20) "Tin Man," by Miranda Lambert (4.22) 19) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 18) "Everybody," by Logic (4.22) 17) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 16) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 15) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 14) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 10) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 9) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) Hey: “Issues” is #12 on the real chart this week! That’s cool!

Who won? hahahahahhahahahahahaha 2007: 3 2017: 2 Though, hey, at least this week didn’t have as much Chainsmokers as I feared! That tally still doesn’t really reflect how badly 2007 is outpacing 2017, though. The 2007 Top 20 is officially nuts, like, “U + Ur Hand” at #17? But it might remain static through next week, that 2007 Top 20, 2007 looks to be leaving the door wide open with next week’s offerings. Do I think 2017 can notch another empty victory? TOTALLY, DUDE. (Foreshadowing.)