#just know that he seems to be getting plenty of enrichment crawling around my head

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

i am allowing my noodle son his favourite playground at the moment, which is when I wear my wireless headset and he explores in between all the plasticy bits. currently operating on 10% vision as he has slid his torso directly between my face and my glasses and now all I'm thinking of is a gorgon design where one of the snakes acts as a sort of blindfold

[phcking-detective]

6. Right in Front of My Salad?!

Fic Title: First Blood

Rating: E

Length: 6/33 chapters, ~128k

Tags: Slow Burn, Idiots to Lovers, Trans Character (gavin), Autistic / Asexual / Non-binary Character (nines), BDSM, learning to use good etiquette and safe words, Dom Nines / Sub Gavin, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter Tags: Tina puts up with so much, sleepover, pillow fight, drug use (weed), more banter!, Nines has Asexual Feels, Gavin is high and sleepy and kind of cute, discussion of past sexual assault / abuse, Gavin admits he frequently has sex while too high and/or drunk to actually consent, the boys get kind of Frisky but not nsfw yet, very mild pet play references

Link on AO3

***

Nines follows Detective Reed out to the parking lot as he always does after a workday. Following Reed closely allows him to somewhat prevent the human from getting into trouble and/or injuring himself. As much as any entity—even one as advanced as himself—can prevent that for this particular human.

"Get in the truck, dipshit."

Nines turns around. He has already plotted the course back to his apartment. Reed sits in his truck with the window rolled down so he can yell at him. Like a dog sticking his head out to bark at people walking past.

Nevertheless, Nines reroutes his path and gets into the truck.

"I did not realize our business wasn't concluded, detective."

Reed grunts and doesn't start the truck. His BPM is high, even accounting for how caffeine-fueled and irritated the detective usually is.

"Tina and I are having a thing tonight," he says.

Nines refuses to let his LED flash any other color than blue. The sexual activities they have engaged in seem to fall under the category of "coworkers with benefits," which is not an exclusive type of relationship.

"I do not wish to know about your sexual acti--"

"What?" Gavin finally looks over at him. "Ew, no! Tina is like my sister. But like … I don't want to kill her."

Nines considers that. "A sibling you do not wish to murder."

"Yeah. Like if that existed."

"I am struggling with the concept."

Gavin snorts. "Uh huh. Look, I'm starting the truck now. You're a big boy android, so if you don't wanna hang out with us, you can tuck and roll."

Nines doesn't catch his LED in time and it spins yellow as Gavin starts the engine and begins driving. The truck automatically locks the doors, but Nines could easily override that. Exiting the vehicle would cause only minor cosmetic damage to his clothing, if that. Gavin drives slower than usual as he crosses the parking lot.

Twenty minutes later, they arrive at Gavin's apartment.

Nines follows Gavin up the stairs and through his front door. Following the human closely is the best way to prevent him from getting into trouble and/or hurting himself. There will be plenty of time for Nines to work on his own apartment's renovations after the two humans retire for sleep.

Nines has hours and hours of free time while others sleep. It is unnecessary for him.

"Tina'll be here in--" Gavin turns around from messing with his gaming console and sighs. "Dude. Take off your fucking jacket. And your shoes."

"Do not call me dude."

Gavin rolls his eyes. "Take off your shoes and jacket, babe."

Nines is forced to sit on the travesty of a couch to unlace his dress shoes. Once they have both been removed, he cautiously lowers his feet to the floor. Only his socks protect his bare chassis from the grungy carpet beneath his soles.

One of Gavin Reed's male role models has advice for this. Nines makes fists with his toes in the carpet. He would rather be shot at.

"Babe. Jacket."

"No."

"Oh my god, are you pouting?"

Nines crosses his arms, merely to impede any removal of the jacket. "No."

"Yes, you are." Gavin grins at him. "You're pouting."

"I cannot make facial expressions and I speak without inflection," Nines logically points out. "It is therefore impossible for me to pout."

"So, like. Definitely pouting then."

"The jacket is necessary."

"I don't keep it that cold in here," Gavin mutters. "You want heat, you can chip in twenty bucks."

Nines deposits twenty dollars in Gavin Reed's checking account, then raises the temperature in the apartment by two degrees. His own internal temperature is perfectly stabilized of course, but his human partner will have to burn more energy staying warm, which will make him hungry, and humans become irritable when hungry.

"My jacket is military-grade defensive body armor that is bullet-resistant up to point fifty caliber and heat--"

"Fifty?" Gavin interrupts. "Jesus fuck. Who's gonna be shooting at you, Dirty Harry?"

"That is a point--"

"Forty-four magnum, yeah. Still. You don't need fucking body armor right now."

"The crime rate in your neighborhood is thirty-seven percent higher than the city average," Nines informs him.

"You--" Gavin gets up from crouching in front of his TV and walks over to sit on the inside edge of the coffee table instead. "If you ever tell anyone I said this, I will shoot you in your bullet-resistant face, but this is a safe place."

The irony of that statement causes a previous glitch to reoccur. Nines involuntarily closes his eyes for a split second as a small amount of air is expelled from his lungs. The brightness level of his LED also temporarily increases.

"Are you laughing at me?" Gavin demands.

Nines reconstructs a 3D image of how his face must have looked during the glitch. He would categorize that expression as more of a pained grimace. It looks absolutely nothing like the cheerful laughter his predecessor mastered shortly after turning devia--

Gavin whacks him with a couch pillow.

They both stare down at where the pillow connects to his arm. Obviously, the impact causes no damage. It is so irrelevant, his combat protocols do not even activate. He does not know how to respond to this situation, and it seems Gavin doesn't know what to do next either.

The grimace-face is a very uncomfortable glitch, so Nines makes Gavin's phone vibrate for two seconds instead. Gavin checks it, then shoves it in his back pocket and glares at him.

"Was that you? Are you still fucking laugh--" He smacks the pillow futilely against his chest again. "Goddammit!"

Gavin changes tactics and presses the pillow over Nines' face. Nines uses the human's own phone to broadcast his voice.

"You cannot smother me."

Gavin yelps in surprise and half-turns like a dog that's just discovered its own tail. Nines makes the phone vibrate again.

"Don't! Fucking! Do! That!"

Nines stoically endures the pillow abuse. The heart rate and walking pace of the person approaching Gavin's front door is a ninety-eight percent match to Detective Tina Chen.

"Hey Gav, the store was out of--"

Tina pauses in the middle of her sentence. Gavin still holds the pillow over Nines' face, but in order for the smaller human to reach all the way up there, he's had to practically crawl into his lap.

"I'm trying to smother him!" Gavin blurts out.

"He doesn't need to breathe?" Tina says.

"OK, so there are two traitor bitches in my house."

"Gavin, don't--!"

He launches himself at Tina next, who stumbles back shouting, "Nines, arm me!"

Nines tosses her the other couch pillow. That should keep the two humans entertained for a while. Healthy enrichment activities are very important to ensure early socialization. He draws his feet up so they aren't touching the filthy carpet and sits [criss-cross apple sauce], as Gavin referred to it.

He is now prepared to endure the human social-bonding activity known as a "sleepover."

***

They have been watching this excruciatingly inaccurate movie about dinosaurs for the last ninety-three minutes, and it still has not finished. Tina has fallen asleep sitting up on the opposite end of the couch, while Gavin sprawls across the whole thing with his head in Nines' lap.

The videogames portion of the night had been better than this. Even if the battle royale style games featured sniping mechanics almost as laughably inaccurate as the entire premise of this movie, at least he got to shoot people in some fashion and Gavin was able to channel his aggression issues into a relatively harmless activity.

Nines strokes his hand down the now-sleepy human's chest from sternum to navel and back up again. He lowers the volume on the TV by another point. If Gavin would simply <i>close his eyes</i>, then both humans would be asleep and Nines could turn off the TV without a chorus of complaints.

"Hhey." Gavin blinks red-rimmed eyes open at him, and then giggles. "Heyyyy."

"Go to sleep."

Gavin yawns, and then has the audacity to say, "M'not tired."

Nines moves his hand up and tries rubbing behind his ears instead. The human sighs and turns his head to get a better angle, nuzzling past Nines' open Cyberlife jacket to press his mouth against the dress shirt underneath.

"Why're you petting me?" Gavin mumbles against his abdominal cavity.

"So you will go to sleep." Nines is no longer required to explain himself to humans, so he often refuses. But Gavin looks so uncharacteristically relaxed, and Tina is asleep. Just this once, Nines continues, "And I can turn off this awful movie."

"Classic!" Gavin immediately argues. "S'a … a <i>classic</i> movie."

"It is a reboot of a classic movie," Nines says. "And it is impossible to outrun a pyroclastic flow, to say nothing of the genetic inaccuracies of--"

"Heyy."

"What."

Nines makes the mistake of glancing down at his human sprawled across his lap. Gavin grins up at him. He's too high--and probably intoxicated as well--for the usual frown lines to make an appearance. His smile scrunches up his nose, which in turn only serves to highlight the scar bridging across it.

It is almost a certainty that this expression on his human's face could be categorized as [ruggedly handsome].

Nines studies it without physical reaction.

"You wanna mess around?" Gavin drawls, grin sharpening into a smirk. "Heard I'm good with my mouth."

His bottom lip falls open slightly. He pretends to scratch his stomach to ruck up his shirt enough to show off the line of hair trailing down beneath his sweats.

This could be categorized as [seductive].

Nines braces himself for--something.

Something that never happens.

Deviants describe it in so many different ways that Nines has a sinking suspicion there is no way to categorize the sensation. Yet it's supposed to be natural, the next logical progression after deviating. Experiencing emotions, actually feeling sensations rather than simply recording them, and then.

Nines runs a full diagnostics scan but his thirium pump has operated at peak efficiency throughout the night. The rate has not increased, nor has it ever skipped a pump. His internal temperature has also remained consistent. None of his tactile sensors have been unnecessarily activated.

And there is no nebulous [feeling]. Nothing poetic like sparks or heat or butterflies.

Nines cannot categorize his reaction as [sexual arousal]. That is the next progression in deviancy, but then, he was designed specifically to remain a machine.

And he is the most effective android ever created.

"You want some fuck, baby?"

Nines snaps his focus back down on Gavin. The human flicks out his tongue twice and then breaks into giggles. The diagnostic program abruptly stops cycling as Nines rolls his eyes. Of course Gavin would attempt to seduce him and then immediately ruin the moment with juvenile humor.

"I have no genitals, detective."

"Yeah, but you got like …" Gavin raises his hand and paws at the air for a moment before grabbing the side of his jacket rather than daring to actually touch Nines. "You got sensors, don't you?"

Nines does not answer. Technically, he could say no without <i>technically</i> lying. He recognizes that Gavin means pleasure sensors specifically, and he does not have any of those installed. Since he has not deviated, the sensors he does possess have not been corrupted and repurposed. He certainly hasn't applied for any upgrades like Connor.

"Just tell me where babe, an' … and I'll lick."

Gavin shoots him that smirk again, licking along his bottom lip in demonstration.

Is it [selfish] to keep him here? There are many other people, both android and human, who could appreciate that look the way it was intended. Nines has often overheard female officers at the precinct complain about dissatisfaction with their male sexual partners. It seems wasteful to have one of the few men who might actually be competent in that area when he cannot even experience sexual attraction.

His system starts to pull up data files on the <s>times</s> on the one singular time that he has ever experienced desire, and that was with Gavin and only Gavin and it only happened that one time in the alley.

"No thank you."

Gavin's smile drops. This might be the end of their conversation then. Of the night as a whole. It is not productive after all, for him to remain here with Nines.

"OK, I'm not like, arguing or anything," Gavin says. "You can say no and all, I just--I'm just like, checking. That this isn't more of your I'm a machine with no emotions bullshit."

Nines raises an eyebrow. "You are accusing me of bullshit? Gavin?"

"Fuck off. Listen." Gavin does not seem to appreciate the irony of those two statements. "I mean, if even I'm saying, you know. That you're not--and like. So it's bullshit. You can have fun and stuff. I'm not gonna narc."

Nines is not required to explain himself to humans. But Gavin is his partner. They have engaged in sexual activities before. Perhaps an explanation is relevant this one time.

"Why does Tina not enjoy rollercoasters?" he asks.

The two humans had somewhat discussed this earlier when one of the maps in their game had been an amusement park. Nines appreciated the high vantage points available to a sniper and made a mental note to never visit one in person. Gavin teased her about not riding the Magnum when the department apparently went on some group trip to Cedar Point.

Gavin blinks several times, then shrugs. "Uh, 'cause before she joined the academy and bulked up, she was tiny. Like even smaller than--"

He suddenly half-sits up to check that the other human really is still asleep.

"Even smaller than now," he says in a much softer voice. "So she didn't get strapped in right the first time she rode Blue Streak and basically just had to hang on."

"Yes. That memory is traumatic to her," Nines summarizes. "Despite the majority of humans agreeing that roller coasters are fun. Even if that is objectively true, the experience has been ruined for her."

Gavin stays quiet for once. His hands can't stay idle though, so he fidgets with the zipper at the end of the Cyberlife jacket. Nines keeps his left hand resting on the human's sternum to better monitor his breathing pattern and heart rate. He seems to have sobered up a bit with the conversation.

"Sooo." Gavin finally speaks up. "If you don't like rollercoasters, then why bother to go to the amusement park?"

"I have control issues."

Nines moves his hand to lightly grip Gavin's throat in demonstration. His human blinks as his irises expand, and he licks his lips again. But then he starts scrambling to sit up.

"Wait, wait," he grumbles. "If we're gonna have this kinda talk, I can't be touching Tina. That's weird."

Gavin rearranges himself to take his feet out of Tina's lap and sit entirely in Nines' instead, safely no longer touching any part of Tina as she sleeps on the other end of the couch. Now that it is no longer [weird], Nines resumes where they left off and captures Gavin's wrists in one hand behind his back.

"Mmm, yeah. So you like controlling me, huh?"

"You let me control you," Nines corrects. "And your pleasure. Until you are vulnerable and begging."

He lifts up, leveraging Gavin's arms to force the human forward to ease the strain on his shoulders. Gavin falls against his chest, wriggling in his lap until he can nuzzle his face against his neck instead.

Nines grabs him by the hair with his free hand just before he can start licking like the mouthy little puppy he is. Gavin whines, and Nines does not need deviancy to appreciate that sound.

"You let me make you so needy."

"Bitch, I'm always like this," Gavin breathes.

Nines makes his cellphone vibrate in his pocket. It is far easier than attempting to mimic human laughter with his limited facial features, and has the added benefit of providing stimulation near the human's groin.

He tugs lightly on Gavin's hair, just to watch him struggle without really struggling. Only a token effort. He keeps his grip tight near the root anyway, so Gavin doesn't have any leverage to yank his head and accidentally hurt himself for real. His partner does so love to try though.

"I--I can be good," Gavin says, eyes wide and much more sincere than they ever would be if he were sober. "I know you gotta make me sometimes, but you like that too."

"I know you can be good." Nines gives a few gentle tugs just to watch the way his eyes drift shut. "You are a very good dog."

Gavin whines again, but he cuts it off himself halfway through. Interesting, but his human is getting too worked up. Nines can already clearly see the imprint of his phallus along the leg of his sweats. He saves yet another picture, along with the audio file of the little noises Gavin keeps making. Still, they should stop now.

"You are not however, sober," Nines continues. "So we will be ending--"

Gavin groans and leans forward again to smash his face into Nines' shoulder. He does it again three more times.

"Whyyy?"

"You cannot consent."

He laughs, the sound more like an explosion of noise than actual human laughter. "I've fucked way drunker than this. Lots of guys."

Nines does not comment.

"I--fucking …" Gavin slumps into his hold with a sigh. "Fucking. Know the rollercoaster's broken and it's just gonna be a drop someday, but I keep getting back on."

Nines doesn't trust his human to have control of his hands at the moment, so he maintains his hold on them. He attempts to offer some form of physical comfort with more head scratching though. But he doesn't have any dialogue options available for verbal reassurance.

"Welcome to the merry-go-round of safe, sane, and consensual," he says instead.

Gavin splutter-laughs again. "You fucking asshole."

Nines marks that dialogue as a success.

Unfortunately, they seem to have gotten loud enough that Tina wakes up with a groan. She looks over at them, rubs her eyes, and squints harder.

"Right in front of my salad?" she asks.

"We're just fighting, fuck off."

"You do not have a salad, Detective Chen. Your current location is Gavin's apartment, and I assure you, there is nothing green here except the mold."

Tina laughs, so he gets to mark that as a success as well, despite Gavin's complaints. He releases the human's hands, but Gavin doesn't go far. He somewhat moves and mostly falls off of Nines' lap and onto the cushion between him and Tina. She checks her cellphone and groans.

"How late is it?" Gavin asks.

Nines clenches his jaw to stop from automatically responding. That question was for Tina. For Tina. Tina will answer the question, that was meant for Tina. Tina's question.

But it is sixteen minutes past fourteen hundred and cloudy outside, with a thirty percent chance of rain.

"Past two," Tina says. "And I've got like, six missed calls from Trevor. I gotta go."

"Yeah, whatever. You good to drive?"

"Breathe on my fingers," Nines says.

Both humans turn to stare at him. Gavin pushes his offered arm back down.

Nines allows his arm to be moved, but points out, "I did not stick them in her mouth."

"OK, yeah," Gavin says. "That's good, I guess. Definitely don't do that to any woman, probably like, ever."

"I can give a definitive answer to her level of--"

"So can I," Tina says. "Because I ordered a cab."

"Could just stay here," Gavin mutters.

Tina makes a facial expression. It's a frown, but [frustrated?] [angry?] [sad?].

"You know he doesn't like it when I spend the night," she says. "And anyway, your couch sucks."

"OK," Gavin says in a tone even Nines can recognize is not OK. "You need me to walk you out?"

"Nah. It should be here after I use the bathroom …?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Mold,” Nines reminds her.

Tina doesn't heed his warning. Gavin punches his arm and gets up. Nines finally turns off the awful movie while Gavin drinks straight from the faucet like a dehydrated horse.

"You don't have clean cups?" Nines asks.

"S'what I've been eating my noodles out of."

"You don't have clean bowls?"

Gavin ignores him in favor of slurping more water from the faucet. Nines watches him. There is simply nothing else relevant in the apartment. Aside from the mold, but he is not a maid bot and will not clean it for the human.

Eventually Gavin turns around again and leans back against the counter. "You sure you don't want some of this?"

Before he had been seductive. Now, his usual sneer has made a reappearance and his posture slumps. He doesn't bother to wipe the water away from his chin. Nines can zoom in his vision from his spot on the couch and the close up confirms that his phallus is no longer in an aroused state.

Now Gavin just looks tired.

"I will review your case in three to five business days."

Gavin snorts, but it isn't like the laughter from earlier. "Yeah. Whatever."

They sit in silence until Tina reemerges from the bathroom. She pauses for a second while looking between the two of them, then holds up her phone.

"My cab's here."

Gavin grunts.

Tina walks toward the door, but stops when she's perpendicular to him. Gavin keeps his head turned to the side. They usually hug before they part ways after a social function. Nines has observed that his partner's mood is seventy-two percent more likely to improve after physical contact with another person. He has a personal theory that this explains the human's frequent attempts to provoke fights.

Nines is well aware that punching technically counts as physical contact. It is the only physical contact he can tolerate. Thus, he works well with Detective Reed.

But there is no need for that "bullshit" between Gavin and Tina.

Hug him.

Tina glances down at the text on her phone. To her credit, she keeps quiet if she's surprised that Nines has texted her.

"That Trevor again?" Gavin asks.

Tina strides across the room and hugs him. Gavin tenses up at first, then slumps into her all at once, like he had when Nines also refused to let go of him. The two humans hug for fifty-four seconds, then mumble quiet [I love you]s before parting.

Tina gives Nines a nod before she leaves. Then it is only him and Gavin.

"So you wanna hug me too before you go?" Gavin asks, his sneer returning all at once. "Or can I not consent to that either?"

Nines gets up from the couch. Gavin looks away again, so he is unprepared when Nines crosses into the kitchen and picks him up in a fireman's hold.

"Bedtime, puppy."

Gavin starts thrashing but settles back down after a quick smack on the ass.

"Before you get cranky."

***

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I also have a Patreon for this fic, if you want to support me! $1 gets you access to chapters a week early, $2 gets bonus content and deleted scenes, and $3 gets short chapters from two AUs I’m writing: an A/B/O heatfic and reverse!AU