#just kinda feeling alone and weirdly disconnected like i miss my friends and seeing their faces not just texting or calling them

[woodsy-hoe]

shoutout to homemade guacamole and blue corn chips for single-handedly fixing me on this fucky feelings friday

[caramelcal]

Fool for you {Part Three}

word count: 2.1k

a/n: kinda a filler but here you guys go! i’m currently working on a proper calum story on my wattpad but it prob won’t be properly out for a while (ceo!calum um-) anyways-

“We need to talk about last night,”

Y/n followed Calum as he made his way down the corridor to the elevator. He had a small suitcase trailing behind him, containing only a few night’s worth of clothes as all of his other stuff was back on the tour bus. 

He didn’t bother to turn around and look at her as he pressed the elevator button, waiting for the elevator to open on their floor, “What is there to talk about exactly? You were drunk.”

“I was tipsy at best, Hood, you know that.” She spat back in annoyance. She wasn’t meaning to be rude or disrespectful towards Calum, he knew that you were just annoyed, frustrated, and maybe even a little embarrassed at how Calum had left you in your hotel room last night. It was understandable, he would have been too, “Was this just another prank of yours? I know you annoy me and prank me to get me riled up and embarrassed, is that what last night was too? Make it seem like you like me just to  abandon me in my hotel room?”

They were inside the elevator by the time she had finished saying that, Calum’s eyes never once straying from the metal doors in front of them. He gripped harshly onto the handle of his suitcase as he discretely shook his head, “No. It was never like that...”

Calum trailed off into a murmur, and she felt her annoyance still bubbling in her stomach. She didn’t believe Calum, not if he wasn’t going to give her a solid answer.

“Well how is it then, Cal, huh?” Calum opened his mouth, brown eyes glancing towards her as he tried to speak, but no words came out. He was silent. He didn’t know what to say, he knew she was annoyed, and he knew now certainly wasn’t how he should confess anything for her.

He was sober. He hadn’t touched a single drop of alcohol, he knew perfectly well what he was doing last night. He had never really thought of it before, of y/n in that manner. Sure, they were doing a PR stunt together but he had never thought of it as anything more than a PR stunt but recently he had been getting a little too attached.

He didn’t miss the way he felt a frown come on his face when he saw you upset, didn’t miss the way his lips curled into a smile when he saw you passed out on the couch with a book that had fallen out of your hands, or when you came to get breakfast with tousled hair and asleep expression. He certainly didn’t miss the way his veins flooded with anger and jealousy when she was dancing with that man yesterday or how in his head he said ‘that should have been me’.

Because it should have been. He longed for it to be, but he didn’t know how to tell her that.

She scoffed in reply as the doors opened to the main lobby of the hotel, stalking out of the small and confined space, “Forget it, Hood. Tour has only got three weeks left and after that, we go our separate ways and end this PR stunt.”

That was how it went. Calum and y/n only ever talked to each other when they had to go on dates or be together, and even then the conversation was strained and awkward; just like it had been on their first date. Calum closed into himself again, and he stopped annoying y/n behind closed doors, too.

Weirdly, y/n actually found it strange without Calum there anymore. She had expected that it would have been peaceful, finally getting a break from the bassist’s annoying nature and pranks but she felt like her life had become dull. Before, she would have basked in the quiet and calm, but now she wanted nothing more than to hear Calum’s voice nagging at her, or even making some dumb comment. She hated to say it, but she missed him.

Sure, she still got to see him, they were on tour together after all but they barely looked each other’s way. They didn’t speak unless they were told to, and admittedly, y/n missed talking to Calum.

Yet, she tried to not let it bother her as her eyes skimmed past the words in her book, one she had gotten months ago but never got around to reading, the boys always being too distracting, or loud, or her just not having enough time. The clock ticked in the background, the only noise other than her playing with the bottom corner of the paper, her lip trapped between her teeth. Her mind couldn’t comprehend the words, no matter how hard she tried, the silence was - dare she say - too distracting.

Her fingers drummed on the now-closed book, frustration bubbling in her chest, her head now tucked on top of her knees that were held against her chest. The bus was soo lifeless without them here, and even when they were here now it wasn’t the same. The laughs, while still present, weren’t as loud and joyous, movements were more lethargic, time spent between them was minimal. In fact, y/n can’t remember the last time she actually spent time with them all.

The room is suddenly filled with the noise of the TV coming on, the bright light from the object almost hurting y/n’s eyes as she squinted slightly, remote in her hand as she sifted through the channels. A yawn escaped her lips while she tried her best to read her book again, now accompanied by the noise of the TV to help her focus. She got comfy on the couch, huddled in a small ball but before she knew it, her eyes were drifting shut and she fell asleep.

  Before she knew it, she woke up in her bunk. With eyebrows knitted together, she looked outside, noticing that the sun was slowly starting to rise. She didn’t remember trudging back through to her bunk last night. In fact, she didn’t remember anything after she turned the TV on. Slowly, she got out of her bunk and walked slowly through to the small mobile kitchen, she noted that she was still in yesterday’s clothes, so it made sense as to her being too tired to remember moving back through to the bunks.

To her surprise, she wasn’t alone in the small kitchen. He stood with his back to her, the rhythmic sound of his spoon hitting against the side of his mug as he stirred the sugar into his tea being the only noise that traveled through the room. Y/n thought better than to ignoring him this early, knowing that when he noticed she was there he would probably think she was just staring at him, “Mornin’, Ash.”

“Good morning n/n,” The man shot back with a smile, turning towards him as he put his mug down on the counter, “You wantin’ some?”

“That’d be nice, actually. Thank you,” The girl shot him a kind smile and hugged him, a gesture that he happily reciprocated before reaching to get another mug out of the small cupboards.

“You have a nice sleep?” The man started an idle conversation while he worked on making the girl tea, something he often did for her. Mornings were often their thing, a time that they spent in peace before the rest of the boys woke up at about noon. The girl hummed as she nodded her head at the question to which he gave a small chuckle, “You seemed pretty tired knocked out on the couch when we got back last night.”

Her lips parted in shock slightly, she didn’t remember them coming back home. Yes, it made sense because she was asleep, but she thought she would have heard them come in, they weren’t exactly the quietest of people, “You guys were here when I fell asleep on the couch?”

Ashton nodded in return, hazel eyes briefly glancing over at the girl before looking back down at the now made cup of tea, “Cal carried you to your bunk.”

Now that was more surprising. It made sense as to why she couldn’t remember going to bed, but she still thought that Calum hated her. So why would he take her to bed? Carry her, no less. He could have woken her up, told her to go to bed, or even left her there to wake up with a craned neck in the morning but he didn’t. “He doesn’t hate you, you know,” Ashton started again, breaking the silence between the two of them, and breaking into y/n’s thoughts. It was almost as if he could read her mind at times, “He just has a weird way of showing it.”

“By leading me on then rejecting me?” Y/n asked, no sense of emotion leaving her tongue; embarrassment or bitterness. She already knew that the boys knew, Calum would have told them and by the slight grimace that appeared on Ashton’s face, she knew he had.

Before he started to speak again, he handed her the mug of hot liquid, that she thanked him for softly and brought to her lips. He leaned back against the kitchen counter and took a drink of his own tea before he spoke again, “Cal isn’t great with feelings but give him a chance n/n. In that brief period where you guys weren’t fighting and were friends, he was really happy. Now he just mopes, I guess. He just isn’t like his old self. You should talk to him.”

Ashton didn’t say anything else, just continued to drink his tea alongside the girl, who was festered up in thoughts about the bassist. She knew Ashton was right, she had to talk to Calum. They were both miserable now, even if she hadn’t noticed he was. This disconnect was not doing good for either of them, and she knew that eventually, they would both grow so distant and miserable that their lives would be awful. She knew she had to talk to him, but what could she possibly say?

  It was days before she finally mustered up the courage to talk to the young bassist, always chickening out at the last minute or not being able to find him. He never looked at her once when they were in the same room, he didn’t even acknowledge her existence, so she waited. She waited for the right time to speak to him, which appeared to be now.

Michael and Luke had already left, Calum in the bathroom and Ashton at the door to exit the bus with y/n, sending her a small glare that told her what she needed to do. His hazel eyes didn’t leave hers before she nodded her head with a sigh, wringing her hands together, “I know, I will.”

He gave her a small nod before wordlessly leaving, and like that, she waited for him to exit the bathroom. She fidgeted where she stood as she saw his frame come into view, not even sparing her a glance before he started to rush around the bus, noticing all the guys had already left.

“Cal I need to talk to you,” She announced, watching him with a rigid figure while he continued to rush around the bus, picking up his jacket and shoes, which he frantically put on.

He barely spared her a glance as he spoke, “Can’t it wait? I’m late.”

“It’ll only take a minute. Please, Cal.”

She almost cringed at the pathetic beg that came out of her mouth, but she didn’t. She wanted things to go back to the way they were, she missed Calum annoying her, and honestly, it was driving her crazy that he acted like she didn’t even exist anymore. The desperate beg seemed to get Calum’s attention too, brown eyes finally meeting hers after so long.

His lips tugged into a frown, yet he keeps his face as emotionless as he could. He’s more closed off to her than ever, and it broke her heart. They fell into a silence, y/n with her mouth open trying to form the words that she needed to say, and Calum glaring down at her, a very irritated expression on his face.

From the simple expression that Calum is giving her, y/n started to regret her decision of speaking to him and that becomes even more amplified when he scoffed, walked towards the door, “I have to get going.”

He didn’t even let her get a word in again before he was slamming the door behind him, leaving y/n staring at the door he had just walked through.

It felt like history was repeating itself because she was left alone. Again. Just like the first time.

[collapsingintojupiter]

Sea Urchin

I made me some analogical fluff bc honestly, why not?

Characters: Virgil, Logan, (brief) Roman

Relationships: Analogical, platonic Prinxiety

---

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Roman?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course it’s a good idea!”

“Fish? For a date?” Roman sighed, slinging an arm around Virgil’s shoulder. 

“I’m telling you, oh panic-at-the-everywhere, that taking him to an aquarium will literally make his year. Logan loves the ocean, man.”

“And...and you’re sure he won’t think it’s weird?”

“No, because he’s weird. And so are you.”

“Hey!” Virgil shoved Roman away and glared at him, though it melted into a grin when he laughed that stupid laugh of his.  

“Relax, Virge. He’ll love it, I promise.” He sighed. 

“Okay…”

Half an hour later, Virgil was standing on the doorstep to the Crofter house, his hair awkwardly styled (Roman’s fault), and a plush shark in his hands (also Roman’s fault). Logan opened the door when he knocked, eyes widening at the sight of the plush shark. 

“I uh...here.” Virgil shoved it into Logan’s hands, then tried to remember what Roman had told him to say. “Uh, guess where we’re going today?”

Logan looked at the shark, then up at Virgil. 

Holy shit, I’ve never seen him this excited before. 

“Are...are we going to the aquarium?” At that, Virgil couldn’t help but smile. Maybe Roman’s terrible idea wasn’t so terrible after all. 

“Correct. I heard you were into marine biology, and they have a sale on the admission fee today. Roman also told me you liked sharks.”

Logan smiled--adorably, Virgil thought. 

“Yeah, I do. They’re such fascinating creatures, despite the terrible reputation they’ve been given.”

“That’s good, ‘cause they’ll have plenty where we’re going.” Virgil motioned to his car, which actually wasn’t his car, but his mom’s. “You ready to go?”

“I believe I am adequately prepared, yes.” Logan still held the plush, and carried it to the car with him where he set it on the dashboard. 

“Will it be okay if I keep it in here for now?” he asked as the two climbed inside. 

“Oh, sure!” Virgil said, and his voice definitely didn’t crack. He tried not to look at Logan as he backed the car out of the driveway and started into town; at his messy hair, the soft blue sweater he currently wore over a white button-up, at his blue glasses which had tiny goldfish painted on the sides - Roman’s work, most likely. And it was perfect.

Roman had been Logan’s best friend since the first grade, and from what Virgil had heard the two had become friends in much the same way he had when he’d been transferred to their school in fifth grade. Promptly after arriving Roman had made it his personal goal to befriend him, though Virgil had never understood quite why. Logan said he didn’t either; Roman merely shrugged when asked and said they’d seemed lonely. 

Not that that was true, or anything.

Whatever the case, Virgil did eventually succumb and become a part of the odd group. Later, when they reached highschool, it was again Roman who convinced him to finally ask Logan out. 

At first glance, Logan was little more than a quiet and studious kid with a weird fascination for both space and the deep ocean, something that was weirdly connected to and disconnected from Virgil’s own fascination with cryptids, conspiracies, and aliens. The more he’d gotten to know Logan, however, the more he learned about the nerdy kid’s wilder side; about his impulsive (but fun) antics in the name of science, his crazy ideas “for research purposes only, obviously,” and his long rants about stars at two in the morning when he couldn’t sleep. 

And Virgil fell in love with him. 

Roman noticed he had before he did, actually. He also said that Logan liked him too, and after several weeks of nagging Virgil finally worked up the courage to ask him out himself. And when Logan accepted--well, Virgil didn’t think he’d ever been happier (though he’d never tell Roman that).

“What’s your favorite ocean animal, Lo? Aside from sharks.” Logan glanced up, grinning crookedly. 

“I love eels,” he said. “And sea snakes. And crabs. And...” he stopped himself, and Virgil both tried and failed to hide a laugh. 

“Go ahead,” he said. “Um, do you have a favorite shark species?”

“Certainly. I am most fond of the tiger shark; their unique patterns are quite aesthetically pleasing. Speaking of sharks, did you know that shark skin feels like sandpaper?”

“I didn’t,” Virgil said, even though he did. “Tell me about it.”

“Their skin is made up of specialized placoid scales, which form a special kind of armor for the shark that’s actually quite thick. It’s also so rough that it can actually injure animals that rub against it the wrong way--it’s relatively smooth the other way, compared to it. The shape of the scales also makes the shark more streamlined in the water, so it loses less energy to drag when it’s hunting prey.”

Virgil kinda froze, even though he was still at the wheel, and once again he was struck by how damn smart Logan was, not to mention how cute he was when he got excited, and--

“Uh, Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

“You missed the turn.”

“Dammit!”

- - -

Virgil stood back a little, grinning to himself as Logan pressed his face up against the tank. On the other side of the glass, a rather uncomfortably large fish looked back at them. Virgil had already been dragged around four different rooms in the span of less than fifteen minutes, but despite that he couldn’t wipe the dumb look of adoration from his face as Logan excitedly rambled to him about parrot fish. 

“Did you know that they create bubble nets out of their mucus to hide in from sharks?”

“Uh...no, I didn’t.”

Man, the ocean was weird. 

“Ooh, this way! They have touch tanks in here!”

“They have what now?” Virgil asked, as Logan grabbed his hand and started pulling him into another room. 

“Touch tanks! So you can touch the anemones, urchins, sea cucumbers, and whatever else they have in there! Very fascinating textures, they have. Especially the anemones.”

“Wait wait wait...touch them?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Logan said quickly, coming to a halt at the room’s entrance. He glanced at Virgil. “If you want I can show you first, and then you can decide. They won’t hurt you.”

“Uh...okay.” Virgil wanted to say no, mostly because being wet was not what he had planned, but Logan seemed so excited about it that he couldn’t help it. Besides, it was just his hand. He’d be fine.

“Here’s a purple sea urchin.” Logan pointed at a little spiky thing in the sand, grinning from ear to ear. “Their spikes can’t hurt us, but they’re cool to touch.” He dipped his hand in, running his finger along one of the urchin’s spines. 

“Whoah, they’re closing together around your finger!” Virgil leaned over the edge of the tank, eyes wide. Logan grinned at him. 

“They trap food with their spines like that, isn’t that cool?”

“You mean it thinks your finger is food?” 

“Yup! Don’t worry though, he can’t hurt me. See?” Logan pulled his hand away easily, showing Virgil. “Wanna try?”

“You’re crazy.” He looked down at the urchin. “...Yes. I’ll try.”

The water was stupid cold, but Virgil rolled up his sleeves, pretended he didn’t notice the adorable smile Logan was giving him, and dipped his hand in. The urchin’s spines were hard, but smooth, and quickly hugged onto his finger as he watched in surprise. 

“You haven’t been to an aquarium before, have you?” Virgil glanced at Logan.  

“I haven’t, no. Ocean always gave me the heebies. Didn’t realize it was so...uh, cool…” he turned away to hide his face, which had turned a delicate shade of rose, and quickly washed his hands while Logan tried to pet every sea cucumber he could find in the tank. 

“They’re very squishy,” he said as he joined Virgil by the entrance. “Very smooth. I like them.”

“I can tell,” Virgil answered with a grin. 

They went to more tanks, then ate at the cafe inside. Logan excused himself after they sat down, leaving Virgil alone for a few minutes as he disappeared. 

Virgil pulled his patch jacket closer around his shoulders, and let out a small sigh. He’d never been much of a learner like Logan was - sleeping in class, doodling on the margins of his notebooks, ignoring the teacher and everything around him...but learning from Logan was so different, so...fun. He realized he’d been enjoying himself immensely the whole time, even though he now had more facts on sea cucumbers than he’d ever know what to do with. 

Being with Logan was fun, he thought. 

“What are you thinking about, Virgil?”

“GAH! Logan, why?”

“I apologize.” Logan sat down, a smile hiding in his eyes as he tried to look sheepish. “I uh, didn’t realize that you hadn’t noticed my presence.”

“It’s alright,” Virgil shook his head, pushing a plate of food towards him. “You just startled me.”

“I will try to avoid doing so in the future.” 

They talked about black holes and green sand; about comets and cone snails and nebulae and nurse sharks. 

And Virgil loved it. 

At last, the day had gone and it was time to go. Virgil was exhausted, but glowing with happiness as they made their way towards the exit. Logan held his hand; similarly quiet, similarly happy. 

As they reached the front door, he stopped and turned to him. 

“I uh...got you something,” Logan said quietly, holding something up for him to see. 

“Is...is that an urchin plush?”

“I, uh...I thought that since…I went back to the gift shop...wanted to get something special...”

“I love it.” Virgil gently took the plush from Logan, cupping it in his hands and feeling how soft it was in his fingers. Logan grinned widely, and before either boy knew what was happening they were in each other’s arms. Logan’s embrace was gentle, but firm, and Virgil was pretty sure he never wanted to leave his arms again. 

Silently, he thanked Roman for his best terrible idea ever.