#just ignore the other 90 fucking percent of her character why don’t you

[roserunodays]

I feel like a lot of people just fail to take into account how Mahiru sees things, especially now she sees herself in all of this:

She wants to love, and she wants to be loved. She dedicates her entire self-worth on the very concept of love itself and has expressed that she would rather die than live in a world where she couldn’t love. And when she does get that relationship she’s always wanted? The one where she assumes said person can fulfill her needs, and one who she thinks shares the same wants and wholehearted dedication as her? She loves them. She was just “being herself”, but what does that culminate into? Being selfish and obsessive when the person doesn’t show those same needs and wants back. Being suffocating from her pov because she’s not happy with what she’s getting. So what does she do? She keeps going, she keeps giving and taking, letting herself get hurt in the process, just hoping that eventually, she will be happy with her bf. They will be together forever, and everything will be alright in the end while she traps herself and him in a loop of pain and hurt that she continues to perpetuate, and one that she can’t easily get out of.

But of course, it’s not so simple. He dies. She does not. She takes a guilty verdict and is forced to confront the fact that she did hurt. Badly. And she fully recognizes that, she’s guilt ridden by it. But at the same time, she doesn’t want to see her love as something “bad” because that would mean that she herself is bad. She “can’t do it right”. Why can’t she do it right? She doesn’t understand, so she continues. Even with everything, she’ll continue to stick by her ideals because that’s all she really has left. No one to come back to in the real world, and having lost the one person she had because of herself, she’ll selfishly stick to these ideals if it meant that she had something tangible to hold onto again until the very end.

And all of this, all the stuff I mention above is why her character works so well with being contradictory, with being both completely selfless and selfish in moments where she’s interacting with others. Mahiru is a very kind person to a fault that she’ll even not hold a grudge against the very person who almost beat her to death for a multitude of reasons. But she’s also someone who failed to take into account how much her actions were hurting someone in the end, even if it was largely unintentional from her part.

That’s why you can’t reduce a lot of her actions and her character overall to simply “good” or “bad” or “abuser” or “victim” because it just won’t work. Mahiru is too complex to be treated as one of these singular things, just like a lot of other milgram characters this applies to. So why do you think it would work for Mahiru?

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 127 Poll Results

The chapter 127 poll closed with 1,993 responses. This month’s poll results were compiled by /u/alooulla, Crunchwrap, Giovata, @momtaku, @shifter-lines and  /u/staraves.

Thank you, as always, for your support!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,888 responses

It’s time to get back on the hype train, y’all! Chapter 127 was a vast improvement over last month’s reception with close to 90% of respondents viewing it favorably.  By way of comparison, with chapter 126, that number was only 55%.

Fixed everything I didn't like about 126

This chapter was top quality. Jean and Yelena were great this chapter. Loved Reiner and Annie helping each other. But please Isayama stop torturing Reiner :(

Amazing and I agree with Hange completely

Wow, such an awesome chapter! It's been a while since a chapter like this has made me put my thinking cap to analyze the scenes in more detail and come up with theories regarding what's coming next!

Are there any words sweeter than "Save the world"?

Calm before the Storm in the SNK fashion

Finally Kiyomi! And some talk between the parts. Seeing the dead SC veterans made me cry a lot. I still care about them so much

I still don't like that the SC are just up and going forces with the Warriors, who are nothing more than unforgivable monsters, BUT I can admit the execution this month was much better.

Pretty damn tasty this month, not gonna lie. Hope to see more of that Floch in next month's dish, chef Isayama is a genius.

Guess you could say Gabi haters got a "kick" out of this month

Hahaha

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,938 responses

Hello JeanMarco fandom? Are you there? This is the fandom of 2020 telling you it’s time to come back to the series if only for a month.

It’s been 84 years but Jean finally learning the dark truth of Marco’s death topped our list of favorite moments with over one-third of the fandom selecting it (35.7%). “Yelena the shit stirrer” was second with 20.6%.This Jean-focused chapter netted Jean the third and fourth favorite spot as well. “Jean and Magath’s argument” and “Jean’s idealistic daydream” tied for third with 7.9% each.

"Erwin being implied to not support the rumbling" I wanted to choose this as one of my favorite scenes along with Hange's "I don't support genocide" <3

The biggest highlight of the chapter definitely has to be Jean punching Reiner upon learning that the latter was responsible for Marco's death. Ever since the truth about Marco's death was revealed a while back, I was awaiting the scene of Jean learning the truth about Marco's death and how he would react towards Reiner regarding it

Why is nobody talking about Yelena and Pieck pleaseeeee

I didn’t think it was possible to love Jean more than I already did but this chapter proved me wrong. I was so glad he finally learned what happened to Marco and at least got that closure.

Loved Yelena messing with everyone's emotions and calling out the truths that nobody wanted to recognize

Jean punching Reiner was my favorite moment of the chapter. Finally that evil fuck is getting what he deserves for what he's done.

The only people Yelena didn’t drag were Pieck and Falco. She has good taste.

Hange acknowledging their failure to stop Eren from getting to this point is 👌👌👌

Jean's and Magath's debate gave the vibes of 'what's older, the chicken or the egg' and I'm living for it lol

I actually found Jean’s dream sequence to be a little unsettling, maybe because of Isayama’s style of not drawing certain facial features clearly, like the eyes. It was almost more foreboding to me than sweet, peaceful, or nice to see.

My favorite moment was the reaction shot where Mikasa was going to charge Annie and everyone is freaking out but the last panel is Levi just sleeping.

I seriously want to see Mikasa vs Annie XD

Jean complementing Hanjis stew is the best moment in the manga

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,938 responses

With Jean receiving the bulk of the focus and development it’s not a huge surprise that Jean (66.2%) was the landslide winner for chapter MVP, with Yelena (9.9%) as a distant, and we mean distant, second. What is a surprise is that Hange’s culinary creation (9.7%) beat out Hange themself (8.9%) for the number 3 spot.

STAN JEAN KIRSTEIN

yelena best girl 😔💕

I already knew that Hange was a queen, but I'm genuinely surprised with Annie too. While the first made a big part of the fandom shut up (genocide is never justifiable) the second one admitted her crimes and understood Mikasa better than anyone.

I love the chapter. It was satisfying to see Jean find out the truth to Marcos death.

I loved how Jean got focus and how he called everyone out on their bullshit.

Mikasa being a badass again. My girl<3

Hange’s stew!!!!

I love the chapter. It was satisfying to see Jean find out the truth to Marcos death.

I loved how Jean got focus and how he called everyone out on their bullshit.

Awesome, go Hanji ! And Levi ! Though he didn't do anything.

I just want some of Hanji's stew

  DO YOU THINK THE GIRL IN JEAN’S DAYDREAM WAS MIKASA? 1,943 responses

Was it Mikasa? Was it a girl with exactly the same hairstyle and scar who just happens to look like an older version of her? Most fans seem to think it was very clearly intended to be Mikasa with solid numbers. Or at the very least, considering the eyes were hidden (a common manga trope to confuse identities), proof that Jean has a definite type.

That woman in Jean's fantasy is very clearly Mikasa, you can even see the scar in one of the panels lol

I can't believe there are people denying it was Mikasa in jean's dream. What the actual fuck?

I think it isn't exactly Mikasa, but Jean *does* have a type and Mikasa heavily influenced it by being his big crush back when all his hormones were firing at 200%.

  WHICH STATEMENT DO YOU MOST AGREE WITH REGARDING HANGE’S ANSWER TO JEAN ABOUT GENOCIDE BEING INHERENTLY WRONG? 1,939 responses

Nearly half of respondents (45.1%) agree with Hange that genocide is non-negotiably wrong. However, those that said in certain circumstances it is perhaps unavoidable if one’s enemies are intent upon it (16.6%) or it truly is the last resort (29.9%), responded in numbers too large to be dismissed. Those that claimed it was unabashedly a good thing, lag behind (8.5%). The results of this question would seem to indicate that even the fans that support Eren’s actions are doing so, for the most part, reluctantly; because that's the only way they see Paradis surviving.

Hanji’s rejection of genocide in no uncertain terms—I’ve been waiting for that! I want to frame that panel on my wall!

Finally people are arguing against Eren's crazy ideas. Expected more from Hange's and Jean's points tho, they have the capacity to be more eloquent

Jean is so close to noticing that the rumbling is best for him…

Kinda disappointing to see the group take such a simplistic take on the Rumbling.

Hange wants paradis to die on the moral high ground

Hating on Hange puzzles me, I understand people who support the rumbling, but saying she is bad for wanting to stop the killing of billions is just frustrating to me.

I'm tired of negativity flowing from fanbase. Everyone would like to see genocide; blood and rotten bodies of innocent people, but even Eren doesn't want that!

Genocide is morally and ethically wrong as hanje said which I agree with. What I don't agree with is her acceptance that once eren dies the eldians on paradis are gonna genocide within a few years. That fact that she hadn't thought of anyway to get around this is disappointing.

If it was Isayama’s Intention to make me feel bad for the rest of the world, he should have focused on it for a larger portion of the story cause honestly, they all can burn in hell for all I care. Innocent or not.

  HANGE’S CLAIM THAT NONE OF THE DEAD SURVEY CORPS MEMBERS WOULD SUPPORT A RUMBLING WAS FOCUSED ON ERWIN. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,938 responses

This poll team member, staring at the camera like Jim from The Office. While Hange has been proven to be a trustworthy character, one with 11/10 intelligence and someone who knew and worked with Erwin on the daily for years and years, and certainly knew him better than anyone aside from Levi, only a third of respondents (36.7%) trust Hange’s judgement on this.

Hanji is right y'all are just dumb

I love how when Isayama wants us to agree with a character he pulls out the Erwin card

I love that years later, Erwin has still not been forgotten.

Erwin would never support a full rumbling to genocide the entire world, and it saddens me that anyone would think otherwise.

We aren’t bad people for supporting Eren. Don’t let the Erwin stans throw hate at us. Erwin would have protected his home too.

  WHICH DEAD CHARACTERS DO YOU THINK WOULD SUPPORT THE RUMBLING? 1,783 responses

Kruger (58.3%), Kenny (57.4%) and Zackly (43.9%) top the list of characters we think would support the rumbling. Despite Hange’s confident declaration that no one in the Survey Corps would be so small minded, many disagreed choosing Ymir (31.3%) and Erwin (31%) as characters they think would support the Rumbling.

  WHO WON THE DEBATE BETWEEN JEAN AND MAGATH? 1,930 responses

This was definitely a Jean chapter, am I right? At 48.8 percent, Jean definitely won the debate according to most fans. In fact, poor Magath didn’t even get a result worth mentioning; ‘neither’ or ‘Hange’ both got reasonable responses, but this was unarguably a slapdown for Jeanbo!

Jean slapped Magath. Bonus points for including that they were totally ignorant even after the walls were attacked.

Magath's replies to Jean are weak. I believe I can do better than him on countering Jean's points.

Idk when they'll get that it doesn't matter how much they hate each other or who started it.

Magath sucks. "Your people did shitty things to us" stops being an excuse when you do things that are just as bad if not worse than what happened before.

This chapter just showed how fake magath is man wow

The argument felt a little? biased towards the paradis folk? i wasn't too bothered by it, but hey, if jean was going to get to punch reiner then reiner deserved to punch someone for bert too.

The argument of "Who is the real bad guy" was a circular "You're the bad guys!" "No u!" "NO U!" -- but by the end of the chapter, all of the arguing characters put aside their differences as they ~left the forest~

Everyone: *kids fighting*

Hange: *bass boosted* WOULD ANYONE LIKE SOME STEW

  ANNIE QUESTIONS WHETHER OR NOT MIKASA COULD KILL EREN. DO YOU THINK MIKASA COULD EVER BRING HERSELF TO KILL EREN? 1,935 responses

Early in the chapter, Mikasa surprises Hange and Jean by stating without hesitation that she will help stop Eren, but when Annie forces her to confront how far she is willing to go, she is clearly reluctant to take extreme measures. Almost half of the respondents (49.1%) believe that this is something Mikasa will never be able to do, with a decently close remainder of respondents saying either yes, she could bring herself to do it (29.1%), or opting not to decide (21.8%).

I don't see Mikasa killing Eren but i ALSO also don't see her doing nothing about it. It's complicated

If she met Eren in her present state, she wouldn't be able to kill him. Perhaps if something else happens between now and then to really strengthen her stance, she could.

I literally have no idea but i have a feeling she will confront him either way

I think she will struggle first, but after she will gain the conviction to do it.

I think she'd be willing to kill him if he showed to be willing to kill the scouts.

Lol at Mikasa learning how to think independently of Eren

She probably won't be able to do it regardless of her conviction because of the Ackerbond, unless Eren allows her to.

Killing eren is kind of extreme isn't it?

She will join Eren!

  IF MIKASA CONFRONTS EREN, WHAT OUTCOME DO YOU EXPECT? 1,907 responses

This one was all over the place! Proof if proof were needed of how impossible this particular subject is to predict right now; Mikasa’s strong feelings for Eren haven’t faded even though she has consistently demonstrated an opposition to his goals, and the poor girl is being torn to pieces. However, those that think Mikasa will ultimately be unable to bring herself to stop him if it means killing him are in the majority here. It’s still anyone’s bet though.

I dont think they can talk him out of it, but im not sure if killing him even stops the rumbling, hence i am not sure what to expect from this.

If Annie would turn out to be right with her suspection that Mikasa could turn her back to the alliance?

Mikasa is going to k-word Eren, isn't she? All the focus on her plus the uncomfortable question. Oh dear. Please no Isayama.

I feel like if Mikasa did end up killing Eren, she'd be even more hated than Gabi for killing Sasha.

Eren will accept his death . And itll be a suicide by forcing Mikasa and armin to kill him.

Eren will die because of the immense power his titan needs, Mikasa will be there to say "Farewell, Eren"

Armin will be the one who will finally take Eren down.

Armin and Mikasa try to talk, Armin die, Mikasa have no choice but try to kill Eren. Don't know if she succeed.

Armin is going to die with Eren while they look at the sunrise over the ocean

I don't think he will need to be killed. I believe that Eren will take all his squad to the paths and then they will talk. Eren will finally tell them everything. If he is going to destroy the world, Mikasa most likely will finish him off.

Eren won't be stopped

He'll confide in her and somehow convince her that he's in the right

Her and/or Armin's death(s) would be the only thing to stop Eren

If Mikasa comes into contact with Eren, she will confess her love for him because that's what she was last seen thinking about. If she couldn't do it before, better late than never.

It will be a group effort to finish him off

Mikasa will be killed (likely accidentally by Eren) in the process of trying to talk him around. Ironically, it will be this which finally causes him to question his current course of action.

Maybe she will kill Eren but it will destroy her

She'll let someone else do it. Maybe Jean?

She's probably just gonna scream "Ereh" all over again

Mikasa and Armin will confront Eren, no one will win but no one will die

No one will kill Eren because he's killing himself

  IF ANNIE AND MIKASA WERE TO FIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD WIN? 1,932 responses

In this writer's opinion, I always bet on Annie winning their original first fight even though I was (and am) a massive Mikasa fan. Now though, I definitely agree with the majority of those who answered this question. That first fight might be debatable but this second one wouldn’t even be a contest. Mikasa has just had years more of training and growth, and we don’t even know if being in the crystal for so long has left Annie weakened in any way. 63% of respondents think this is Mikasa’s fight to win.

Hope mikasa mikasa fight annie it will be sweet

  MAGATH WAS NOT SURPRISED TO DISCOVER THAT KIYOMI WAS WORKING BEHIND MARLEY’S BACK. WHO DO YOU THINK KIYOMI IS TRULY WORKING FOR? 1,917 responses

Close to 74% of those who took the poll this month are still not convinced of Kiyomi being particularly loyal to anybody but herself. Is this a case of reading a book by its cover too soon? Or is she genuinely as snakelike as she appears to be? Just remember that people can still have the capacity to do good whilst putting their own interests first. Unfortunately the opposite is equally true.

She's double agenting everyone, like an arms dealer in a war. She sells to both sides and loses nothing in return

Her nation. She's putting her nations interests first.

She is loyal to Mikasa primarily for selfish reasons, but the rumbling threatens her home too, so she'll probably support Hange and co now.

Plot twist: the Yeagerists have been Kiyomi's pawns, in the next chapter Kiyomi will throw Floch and the Yeagerists under the bus AND pretends she is indeed a hostage.

Kiyomi is working for herself even not for Hizuru and she will double cross everyone

Kiyomi/Kruger/Willy 4D chess conspiracy ftw

I have no idea who's side she's on at this point.

Not conspiring with the Jaegerists but with Zeke and the euthenasia plan.

I have thin hopes she might be working with Eren and Historia who convinced her to join their side.

She lusts for the blue rock

  THE PLANE’S FUEL CAPACITY IS MENTIONED AS A LIMITING FACTOR IN FINDING EREN. WHERE DO YOU THINK EREN IS? 1,912 responses

Eren didn’t enable infinite fuel in the PATHS console, and now everyone else has to deal with it. 40.3% of you think Eren has already left for the continent, 36.3% think he’s still on Paradis in his Founding Titan, 16.8% think he’s hiding somewhere in human form, and that leaves 6.6% who think he’s already reached the continent. Does anyone know the MPG on iceburst stone?

I'm going to be honest, I genuinely thought the plane was an aborted arc.

I find it funny that everyone is very concerned with catching up with Eren, even though they have no idea where he is, and have completely forgotten about Zeke. How do they know he's not lying in some rubble somewhere?

I just thought the plane idea was kinda....lame? I don’t know it just felt weird to me.

I can't stop picturing all the Wall Titans holding onto Eren's ribs for dear life as he crosses the ocean because they underestimated how deep it was.

  YELENA MENTIONS THE APPEAL OF “SAVING THE WORLD” AS A MOTIVATION. DO YOU THINK SHE JOINED ZEKE PRIMARILY FOR HIS VISION OR WAS THERE ANOTHER FACTOR? 1,910 responses

Nearly a quarter of you said that Yelena served Zeke to further his cause, 20.2% of you said that she did it because she was just really thirsty for Zeke, and 13.2% of you said that it has nothing to do with Zeke, and that she was just looking for fun and fame—in other words, SASUGA, PIECK! The fairly overbearing majority of you though, at 42.1%, said that it was some combination of all of the above answers.

I think Yelena's motivations for following Zeke are partly spiritual. She mentions his titan being godlike, and follows Zeke around like a disciple.

I was quite shocked to learn that Yelena was an average Marleyan herself who just made everything up about her coming from an annexed Marleyan nation and being saved by Zeke in some way.

  YELENA BRINGS UP THE MORE RECENT CRIMES COMMITTED BY THE WARRIORS AND THE 104TH. IS THERE AN EQUIVALENCE OR IS ONE SIDE MORE AT FAULT? 1,901 responses

This question had an interesting response, because it was expectedly divided, but not in the way one might have guessed. 34.9% of you said it’s irrelevant whose crimes are greater, 34.1% said that it’s about equal, 30.2% said that the Warriors are most at fault, and only 0.8% of respondents said that the 104th were most at fault. When we see talk of blame, or right and wrong, we normally see a very even split—especially when it comes to Eren, so this is an interesting outcome!

It’s so brilliant on the way it shows war’s true face ... don’t have winners, don’t have losers, it doesn’t matter who started or who finished it, we are fighting each other and for whom? for those who died 2000 years ago? people are just sickening. this chapter showed a lot of that with Yelena’s speech

Fuck Marley, but the sc doesn't have the higher moral ground on the warriors.

They should stop choosing between evils and start forgiving, never forgetting, but forgiving so they all can live together when it all ends one way or the other.

ZOOK YOOGER APPROVES!

  JEAN THANKS YELENA FOR HELPING THEM GET ALONG. WAS THAT HER INTENTION? 1,889 responses

A clean 31% of you think that Yelena was “just taking the piss”, by bringing up everybody’s past, and I had to google what that British (Australian?) nonsense means, but hey, you learn something new every day. Following just behind that at 30.7%, you guys said that she wanted to create more conflict for an unspecified reason. 27.6% of you said that she was just venting frustrations, while only 10.7% thought she actually wanted to help Zeke, and bring everyone together to stop Eren.

Looking forward to seeing Yelena roasting everyone in season 4.

Someone should beat magath for being an ass and yelena for being so edgy

  WAS JEAN JUSTIFIED IN ATTACKING REINER LIKE THAT? 1,894 responses

Almost three quarters of people thought Jean was justified in giving Reiner a walloping, largely for killing Marco (36.7%), but also to knock sense into Reiner (21.6%). 15.6% thought it was justified but that Jean took it too far, and a fraction fewer (15.2%) thought both guys have been justified in their actions. Just 6% thought the beating wasn’t justified at all, as we readers are well aware of Reiner’s feelings of guilt already. If you expected the sufferboi saga to end any time soon, don’t hold your breath…

I wouldn't say Reiner deserved it, but Jean is definitely justified for it. I don't blame Jean since the guy who killed his "best" friend was sitting right in front of him.

Uuuh YES? Is that even a question? Imagine someone killing your best friend and then calmly talking about it like telling a story.

His feelings are justified, his actions aren't.

Nobody fucking reacts over Yelena stating "Armin stole Bert's power", and instead we're just getting wank over a plot device from 2013: I named Marco.

Yes, but Annie deserved a beating too.

It makes no difference, they both are wrong and bad guys right now

We the audience know Reiner's entire backstory but Jean does not, hence why we feel more sympathy for Reiner than Jean does to him.

No reaction to Bert being eaten by Armin and Porco's already forgotten when he literally died the day before, but more Marco angst? Alright then.

I'd say neither is truly 'justified', but it was an emotional purging they both needed. Jean for his anger over what and who Reiner's taken from him, and Reiner getting what he feels he must receive for what he's done.

He should've killed him

Leave Reiner alone already. He suffered enough. He understands his mistakes. He doesn't need to be punched anymore.

Reiner deserved it, but by now its been too long so it feels out of place.

It's understandable. Jean's hit his breaking point. Reiner I love you but please stop trying to provoke people into causing you bodily harm.

Jean should've hit him harder. And Reiner wanted to be hit cause he knows it himself that he deserves it. Give the boy what he wants 💅

Reiner needs a damn hug goddamnit.

Yes. Revenge is always justifiable

Pretty sure reiner liked it either way

Honestly, when Jean hit Reiner, I felt good. I think that Reiner and Jean will have a better friendship and I'm looking forward to that.

I really don't know.

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAGATH STOPPING HIMSELF FROM EXTENDING A HAND TO GABI? 1,886 responses

Magath is a complicated fellow isn’t he? He seems to treat Eldians better than most but has trouble getting over his own prejudices regarding them. Most of you seem to think it was character progression (56%) that he reached out to help Gabi in that moment as a man, instead of as her commanding officer. We shall have to see if Magath’s attitude continues to soften, and if so, could it potentially be a microcosm of the world’s attitude to Eldians in general?

Magath begins to have a real compassion for warriors, especially towards Gabi (already in one of the previous chapters, he had given her a hug).

Foreshadowing, he'll die for her. 100% sure.

Gabi apologized to the Devils, she asked them for help. Magath realized that Gabi is not a brainwashed fanatical degenerate anymore, even she is not on his side.

Good question. It seemed like he only know started to realize that Eldians are people with feelings, fears and hopes too, but didn't know how to interact or if he was even allowed to show that concern after all that time.

He doesn't know how to react to this because Hange's words from earlier struck him deeply.

He fill asham that she act more like an adult than him

He finally starts understanding he was being an ass. Better late than never!

He is not sure how to comfort her. The situation is a tough one.

He realises now that he needs to provide the better future for these young Eldians thus being the guy that will free the Eldians from the discrimination.

He realized that he cares about Eldians a lot and he doesn't see difference between them and other people.

He realizes that he’s one of the reasons why a kid like gabi is suffering and feels like he doesnt have the right to comfort her

He wants to help the warriors but feels guilt about all the pain he caused them

He's a bitch realizing it's kinda his fault

He's only shown to care for Gabi tbh. We've seen him humiliate all the kids over and over even when they were trying to help and give suggestions, so I don't accept it as development and much less as "caring for Eldians".

I really dont know wtf was happening in these panels

When not arguing with Jean, Magath was flabbergasted all the time about Eldians being more human instead of devils he thought them to be, so idk, this reaction kind of goes hand in hand with all that. He's kind of realising they're human as well and he's afraid of feeling compassion for them.

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT JEAN'S TREATMENT OF GABI AFTER THE ACCIDENTAL KICK? 1,905 responses

66.6% agreed that Jean’s softer treatment of Gabi was the cutest shit they’d ever seen, or close to it. 23.5% were neutral on the matter, and a small proportion (4.6%) didn’t really care for it. Then there’s that little bump in 1 voters (5.4%), from those who didn’t like to see any kind of positive treatment of Gabi. My goodness, would Sasha hold a grudge this long?

Bless Jean and his kindness toward Gabi

Gabi is garbage

Gabi sucks

She shouldn't be the one to endure the kick of a seething horseface and explain why the warriors did what they did. Worse even, hiding her own pain to beg her aggressors for help. When her arc is all about leaving the forest, that's disgusting.

Haven't we had enough of Gabi Sue hogging the limelight? And the way she begs the SC to side with her after what she did to Sasha? Disgusting!

It kinda annoyed me that Gabi is apologizing to the 104 when they're the ones who destroyed her home and don't seem to feel guilty about it

idk but i love gabi

Gave the kick moment a 3. +4 because Jean is amazing, but -1 because Gabi should have gotten worse.

It really shows what a great character Gabi is because she can continue for vengeance but she is being a bigger person and choosing a more moral path.  

  MUCH OF THE CONVERSATION AROUND THE CAMPFIRE WAS REMINISCENT OF WHAT WE DISCUSS IN THE FANDOM. WHICH IDEA WERE YOU MOST HAPPY TO SEE? 1,893 responses

Does Isayama read our posts? You might be forgiven for thinking so, considering the campfire discussions focused on so many different angles; the complexity of the situation was nailed, and the winner was Jean knowing Eren’s actions are best for the island but still morally wrong (35.1%), but Yelena’s little dialogue was appreciated enough to come a close second (31%). This was the moment where all of us felt like our view was taken on board however, and it was brilliantly done.

I wonder if Isayama actively collected all fandom ideas, because he NAILED it. Well, he did his part, right? In showing the complexity of the situation. He can't change the fandom's minds, but he can put his message out there.

Annie confronting Mikasa only to immediately back off, what she pointed out made sense, and yet they didn't even discuss what to do if Eren couldnt be persuaded to stop genocide.

This chapter was a beautiful reflection of the community's arguments.

The panel when they are eating around the campfire looks like 'The Last Supper' of Jesus and his 12 apostles.

+1 for Annie for calling the 104 out on their inability to kill Eren if need be, and for Hange for having some fucking common sense

I liked it more when they were all enemies tbh

  WHICH OF THE MORE LIGHT-HEARTED MOMENTS FROM THIS CHAPTER WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 1,898 responses

To me, Hange cheerfully knocking on the window to interrupt Jean’s idyllic daydream was pure comedy; what’s wrong with you people, am I the only one to find that funny? Sigh… Levi waking up to complain about the noise was alright though. I guess. And 50 percent of you seemed to like that one best. Comedy is wasted on you lot.

Sleepy Levi made me laugh out loud!

Levi was wholesome for once

Why would you think of Annie's asking if she's forgiven as a light-hearted moment?

I felt sad and grieved while reading this.

Loved Yelena with Titan Pieck, feel like she won't make it out of this alive and that's a shame since she's pretty interesting

I didn’t like the foodstuff. Isayama can’t make food jokes funny.

Isayama noticed Annie's favorable treatment so often he even slipped a joke about how nobody cares enough about the severity of her crimes to care... Haha...

Wouldanyonelikesomestewwouldanyonelikesomestewwouldanyonelikesomestewwouldanyonelikesomestew

  LEVI JOINS THE LIST OF CHARACTERS WITH GLORIOUS BEDHEAD. WHICH HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE SO FAR? 1,898 responses

Mikasa’s gravity-defying locks assert dominance with 53.1% of the vote. Mankind’s strongest soldier makes an impressive debut in second place with his moment of dishevelment (21.2%), and Annie’s shaggy mane from all the way back in the Female Titan arc made it to third place (15.1%). We then have Gabi (4.6%) and Eren (4.1%) closely matched, and an honorable mention for Jean’s mild fluff from the days of Uprising (1.9%). Levi’s bedhead this chapter may well be the last in the series!

Levi taking his beauty sleep and being cranky after waking up by all the noise was the cutest thing on the entire manga. And talk about that bed hair... Can I tousle it, please?

[Levi’s] hair jkjkksksks KAWAII

  DEATH FLAGS ARE ONCE AGAIN FLYING! WHO DO YOU THINK WON’T MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ARC ALIVE? 1,844 responses

Break out your bingo cards! Love him or hate him, most people agree that Floch has by far the highest chance of meeting his demise at a hardy 67.7% of responses. Just over 50% have voted that Yelena will die; perhaps she’s too much of a wildcard to stick around for the long-term. It’s not looking good for the old guard as many people think Hange and Magath have a good chance of dying, 48.7% and 45.2% respectively. A lot of people have also interpreted Jean’s development this month as an ominous sign (37.9%); it would certainly be one way to follow in his commanders’ footsteps! On the other end of the scale we have the fewest votes for Gabi (8%), Mikasa (8.2%), Falco (9.5%), and Armin (9.8%). Those expecting all four to meet their end are imagining a very grim finale indeed.

Hanji please don't die!

They're gonna kill Floch :(

Can Floch just die? Please?

I feel like hange will come up with a plan to save paradis without genociding.... and then immediately die without telling anyone the plan :)

Fuck annie. just fuck her. i want her to die so fucking badly.

If Hange dies I’ll cry

If Jean fucking die I’ll RIOT !!

Isadistyama knows only too well how much we hate Floch, which obviously means he isn't going to fkn die.

Gabi must die

Someone need to die soon.

Reiner's will to die will keep him alive to the end of the series…

I hope Levi doesn't die.

Really hoping Hange's death wasn't just foreshadowed in this chapter.

Jean will definitely die. Too much protagonism around him in this chapter.

My guess about Mikasa's life chances are now 50/50. 50% dying chances if she would protect Eren by fighting against the alliance and the other 50% having a chance to live a normal life with turning back to her old self

Just not Levi, at least not yet, c'mon we barely got him back :(

Maybe this whole manga is one man's journey trying to die in vain, until he ultimately finds the will to live... Then dies.

Hope they all die

  THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER WAS NOT RECEIVED VERY WELL. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CHAPTER 126 NOW AFTER HAVING READ THE FOLLOW-UP? 1,891 responses

With the worst rating in recent memory, chapter 126 was a disappointment to many readers, and we even saw some people losing faith in Isayama (the heresy!). So we asked the fandom about their feelings of the previous chapter in retrospect and knowing the continuation.

Surprisingly, the majority of respondents (48.9%) said their opinion of the previous chapter had not changed, but they felt positively about it, with 23% saying their unchanged feelings were negative. A remainder of 28.1% said their opinion of the previous chapter had in fact changed, with 26.1% expressing more positive feelings and 2% feeling more negatively.

A real improvement compared to Chapter 126.

Amazing, picked up on everything I thought 126 needed.

Definitely an improvement upon the last chapter

This chapter remedied most of my issues/concerns from the previous chapter

Chapter 127 was so awesome it made 126 even worse in comparison.

I prefer personally chapter 126, but this chapter had much better pacing

Everybody complaining about 126 were too impatient and short-sighted. This was always what was going to happen and both chapters did exactly what they were supposedly to do.

It really made me feel better about 126

Way better than 126 but still kinda cringe tbh

Much better chapter that made 126 redeemable

  AFTER THIS CHAPTER, HOW HAS YOUR OPINION CHANGED ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS?

Due to this chapter being dialogue-centric with character interaction galore, naturally it was bound to have an impact on the characters’ likeability. The significant focus on Jean’s inner turmoil evidently made him skyrocket in the eyes of the fans, with 80.6% of responses to him being on the favorable side, correlating with him being the fandom’s choice of MVP.

Jean's development is top tier.

I am so proud of how far and mature Jean has become! ;-;

Jean continues to show why he's the best character in the series

JEAN CHADSTEIN

JEAN JEAN JEAN JEAN

Other characters receiving a boost in favorability were Yelena, Hange and even Gabi (although in her case by only a smidge).

Yelena was my personal MVP this chapter

Mama Hange is the best

Gabi behaved like an adult and preferred to ask for forgiveness and help (she was adorable).

While many were relieved by Hange’s strong stance, it should be noted that Hange also received significant backlash this chapter, with ¼ of respondents viewing Hange less favorable.

Fuck hange

Hange is just making idiotic shitty points, and she has become one of my most hated character after this chapter. Jean's argument is one of the best, and almost everything he says this chapter made me love him even more.

People saying hange is acting based off emotion .. when literally all eren has done is act based off emotion. of course hange doesnt have a plan yet, eren is literally gonna annihilate the world

Though no characters had an overall less favorable response, Magath’s comments about the Paradis Eldians certainly almost landed him there.

Magath can suck a nut

Fuck off Magath

Magath really annoyed the hell out of me this chapter

  ONCE AGAIN ISAYAMA APPEARS TO BE PLAYING WITH OUR EXPECTATIONS OF THE FINAL PANEL. WHICH OUTCOME DO YOU BELIEVE IS MOST LIKELY? 1,824 responses

Dreamt up fantasy or not, this chapter gave us yet another plausible scenario for the long-haired man holding a baby, confirming that Isayama knew what he was doing when he released that final panel, and he will milk the speculation for all it’s worth. With over 50 custom write-in responses of people saying they have no idea, it’s clear we’re all just on Isayama’s wild ride.

The most popular option chosen was that it depicts Eren holding Historia’s child (38.9%), followed by Grisha holding Eren (29.1%), Jean holding Mikasa’s child (14.7%), and Farmer-kun holding Historia’s child (8%). We also found many trends in the write-in answers:

Eren holding his baby with Mikasa (11)

Jean holding Historia's child (9)

Grisha holding Zeke (4)

Eren holding ymir fritz (reborn) (4)

Zeke holding Eren’s child. (3)

Falco holding Gabi's child (2)

Armin holding Historia's child (2)

As well as multiple answers that it’s Isayama injecting himself into the manga. You’re all hilarious.

Eren holding Isayama

plot twist: its isayama's dad holding him. he is free of the manga now

Isayama holding baby Onsen

Some of you had some creative ideas that I enjoyed reading:

Eren holding historia’s dead baby. saying it’s free from this world’s cruelty

Eren holding the Crawling Titan's human form (the one they encountered when heading to the ocean).

The next inheritor of the Founding Titan is holding Historia’s child, Eren sees this as a future memory.

Two marleyans free of eldian rule

Zeke holding Yelena's child  

How did that last one get - actually, screw it, I’m on board. #Zelena4Life

We also had some voicing of concern regarding the lack of warning for final panel spoilers. To anyone who was spoiled by the final panel as a result of our actions, we apologise, and we will make sure any future polls that include discussion of external material will be appropriately tagged. This was Crunch’s fault, so please direct all of next month’s hatemail at him. He’s very sorry though.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK THE OUTCOME OF THIS UPCOMING BATTLE WILL BE? 1,865 responses

Before they can reach Eren, the Alliance needs to first get past the Jaegerist. Only 12% of respondents expect this to be easy. The vast majority (63.8%) are anticipating an Alliance win but at the cost of major character deaths. On the other end of the spectrum, close to 20% expect the Alliance to be defeated but think they will reach Eren another way. The tiniest percent (4.1%) think that the Jaegerists will win this battle and Eren will be successful.

I hope isayama wont nerf the alliance so hard in the upcoming battle. and pls no stupid death. make it glorious.

5 titan shifters versus a group of Jaegerist, I'm putting all my money on those well rested shifters to deal with a majority of the Jaegerist on the outside while the non-titans sneak in and rescue Kiyomi. And hopefully one of them can kill Floch while they are at it.

Super excited for next chapter! It was good exposition and a good setup for an epic fight! I also kind of hope that now that they've figured out the trick to stop fighting and finding diplomatic ways that they don't directly resort to violence but at least try to find a way to talk with the Jaegerists. If they don't try to talk and find a way around then the lessons learned won't have meant a thing. I'm super happy with the direction of the story

Even if you hate Floch you still have to give him credit for what he as done with taking over Paradis and mobilizing the Yeagerists in anticipation for the alliances next move

I swear if Armin doesn’t either turn into a titan now or in the final battle I’m gonna be saltier than the Dead Sea.

  YES, WE ARE GOING THERE... HOW BADASS DID FLOCH LOOK IN THAT FINAL PANEL? 1,888 responses

God help us all... The bird’s nest hair is gone so there is nothing left to distract us from that rockin’ bod and fierce expression.  Please know that I am physically in pain that only ¼ of the fandom selected the “Ewwwwww no” option. The rest of us are apparently weak for thicc thighs bound by tight leather straps.

My hat is off to the 9.2% who selected “How ‘bout dat Kiyomi.” You have my respect for maintaining your dignity and opting out of this question entirely.

Floch based

Floch is a CHAD

Floch is a hottie

FLOCH MARRY ME PLEASE I LOVE YOUU

Floch NEEDS to die!!!

FLOCH SHALL REIGN SUPREME!!!

FLOCH THE CHAD

I hate floch but damn is he lookin fine af

  AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO YOU EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,876 responses

After another set up chapter amidst the scenery of the apocalypse, the chances of this arc wrapping up quickly are slimmer than ever, with only 2.2% of respondents believing the series to be in its final volume and ending at chapter 130. The 138-gang has officially taken over as the majority, with 43.9% of respondents expecting the story to wrap up in ten more chapters, beating out the 37.3% who think we will only get to chapter 134, and the 16.6% who think the story will go even further, to 142 chapters or beyond (for those counting at home, that’s at least midway into 2021).

I find it hard to believe that the story is getting wrapped up so soon… There’s so much that I feel like needs to happen before the story ends

I hope [Isayama] finishes the series without any rush.

I'm unsure if the manga will be able to end in 2020

I thought we were supposed to be approaching the end but now we go on a sidequest to free princess Kiyomi from a miniboss, huh?

The end is near and I already feel sad.

Whatever happens, it's been a wild ride up to this moment. I thank Isayama for everything.

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,892 responses

Eren’s POV (37.3%), a continuation of the present storyline (21.9%), and the return of Historia (19.1%) are our top hopes and dreams for the upcoming chapter. A major death (6.8%), Reiner finding the will to live (6.0%), news about our boy Zeke (5.6%) and the Rumbling (3.4%) round out the entries.

EREN POV AND HISTORIA POV ALREADY JESUS CHRIST

I'm kinda hoping we get a zeke pov I wonder how he feels abt eren betraying him.

Historia was named because she is history from the story YAMS I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU WHERE IS QUEEN BAE

HISTORIA WHENNNNNNNN???!!!!!!!!

I just miss eren and historia and zeke a lot, they're my favorite characters :(

I just want annie to see her father smh

I have faith in isayama's cruelty and I honestly hope to see someone die

Please get Eren or Historia on the screen for the love of god

Reiner's too tired to die now. Wondering at which time yam will give him a new motivation to live and fight.

I’m still hoping Mikasa and Armin will man up and realize that Eren may not be worth fighting for. Maybe next time!

Hype for that Floch death next chapter, cmon Yams

Watch it burn!

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,797 responses

The percentage of people who primarily discuss the series on Reddit is up from last month, while Tumblr and Discord’s percentage is down. People who don’t discuss the series, but participate in the poll are up 4.1% (of the whole, 73% relative to itself). The top 5 ranking order is: Reddit, I don’t, Facebook, Tumblr, and Discord. I’m surprised by the lack of Discord responses. If you voted Discord, but don’t see many people in your Discord communities aware of the poll, let them (or us!) know!

On that note, I have to give the Snapchat voters a hard time. Snapchat got 6 votes this time. Six. That’s the same as it was last month, but let me put this into perspective for you. Steam got three votes. There are twice as many people who voted Snapchat as there were people who voted Steam. Two. Times. Until I receive evidence to the contrary, I’m electing to believe that this is a Marleyan psyop, and I’m not falling for it.

Regardless of where you discuss the series though, we appreciate your contribution to the poll, and the SnK community as a whole! We literally could not do this without you guys, so thank you!

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 406 responses

Nice prelude before the final confrontation(s)

Fantastic chapter with great development for Jean and Reiner.

Overall, this is exactly what I wanted after last chapter's fiasco.

Where is Zeke lmao

Needs more Historia. THEY ARE ALL THERE WHY IS THERE NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE QUEEN OF PARADIS. ISAYAMA PLZ

Kinda bummed there wasn't more Levi, but I'm always bummed when there's not a lot of Levi.

I don't like where this is going

I can't believe I'll be legit sad if Floch goes.

Erwin would have come up with another way to protect Paradis. He would have blackmailed and sweet-talked all the other diplomats lol. If Erwin was in charge he would have come up with a decisive plan and Eren wouldn't even have had to consider the rumbling, unlike Hange who is all talk but no plan and I guess that's why Erwin had to be nuked out of the story.  

F U L L  B O C C O

I live for character drama and Jean’s my favourite character so you know I loved this one.

I loved the Pieck x Yelena moment...and I Am Once Again Asking for Historia Comeback.

Mikasa. That’s it, that’s my thoughts,

Meh this arc has really a lot of problems with the characters, basically i dont care for anyone at all except eren and reiner, and that's a major flaw.

[Yelena] pointed everyones hypocrisy out that they aren't just victims who did nothing wrong. Everyone, except of Falco, has cover they hands with blood. It's not just ""muh Marley, muh Eldia or muh Yelena"". Everyone have started sins and are to blame for something. It was a really necessary wake up call, not only for the characters, but for this fandom as well. No matter if this was her intention to create more drama in the group or make them realize that they and not different from each other. GREAT MOMENT and Yelena absolutely slaying 👑

Please just make mikasa ended up with eren in the future. I dont really care bout anything

THE.CHAPTER.THAT.WE.NEEDED.

There really just aren't any good solutions, are there?

Isayama stop messin with my heart

Also I've seen people mad at Magath, but the only two charas I really hated here were Yelena and Floch. Both kinds of people are terrible in real life (usually minus the killing but eh)

Eren is gonna win and kill everyone

Can we stop the SUFFERING XD jokes with Reiner? The torture porn is seriously getting old and unnecessary. Can't believe I had to lower my opinion of him as well.

Every major character during this arc had moments of extreme fragility and desperation. mikasa, connie, armin, hanji, reiner and now jean. i love this because it would be extremely weird for a group of people who constantly put their sanity to test to remain the same (strong and capable of fighting and leading in every situation)

Bless Jean! He is such a good friend. I hope he can heal. That reveal with how Marco really died was very traumatizing. I hope all of the characters can heal.

BTW Isayama..It will be so pathetic if the Manga ended by Mikasa kill Eren..The worst and most unsuccessful end

Better than the previous one for sure. I love dialouges! Still expected Annie to interact with Armin and Levi not just sleeping through all of this like the sleeping beauty.

Annies back, back again. Annie's back, tell a friend.

Another banger

AoT is like good wine, it gets better with time.

AOT makes my life tolerable enough to live, thank you isayama

Boring chapter i wanna see eren ffs

Bitches really do be supporting genocide

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

10/10 as usual

127 was a totally piece of shit

I think jean and pieck will become a thing. if it doesnt, ill be sad lol

I'M AT SOUP

I'm confused.

I'm glad the situation of Marco's death and his importance to Jean was addressed. I just hope this won't be the last we see of it. Jean needs to heal and Reiner needs to do better.

I'm just happy that there will most likely not be a Cringevengers-like ending that seemed not too far-fetched after 126.

I want Eren to live

I want the recipe for that stew

I want to see Mikasa's POV

It feels as if Isayama has read our discussions and merged them into the story. Also I think Jean is the one who understands Eren's motivations the best at this point. Not Armin, not Mikasa.

It seems now that all the pieces are in place.  I believe from now until the end will be a constant and crazy ride

It was a great chapter, but where's Eren? Even the "Avengers Team" are wondering.

It was a great chapter, Isayama covered most of the topics that were hanging loose on the last chapter

Real Housewives of Eldia

It was a masterpiece

It was alright.

Some will die, Eren will do some bad shit, but he will fail somehow

MOAR JEANKASA

Monthly dose of Reiner suffering

More Mikasa

More Reiner

None, just AOT

Nostalgic. Especially when Jean learns of Marco's demise.

Not enough action

Not enough suffering for Reiner.

Pie

Pieck Is hekkin cute

Pretty much what I expected after the events of last chapter, in a good way.

Reiner and Gabi both should have gotten so much worse from Jean, they have too much blood on their hands to be even remotely forgivable.

So long as the Jeagerists are resolved this volume, or something wilder - no more build-up. JUST FUCK EVERYTHING UP, ISAYAMAAA  (not like GoT fuck it up, but the good kind)

Somebody, please let Reiner sleep and wake up properly

Shit gonna hit the fan so hard

Shit is happening and I'm not ready. Wonder if the anime will make the chapters flow better like in Season 3 Part 1+2?

There going to set something big up soon and everyone will be hype for it but then it will show Marley perspective of the rumbling or something

Eren will succeed! All hail Eren!

This chapter was everything I wanted, thx Yams ily

Lets just say I have new ships

This chapter was intense and I love the debates around the fire.

Too long chatting

Chapter was good but the fandom is at its absolute lowest state at the moment, between the aggressive Eren cultists, warriors and 104 fans attacking one another, and crazy shippers. Stop this clownery

Crazy chapter, looking forward to the next one.

Fuck the Jaegerists, death to all empires. Everybody needs to be a republic already, this is getting old.

Great breath of fresh air chapter. Needed that after the quickly paced 126.

Very good.  i don't like the fandom,they are just children. i have always hated them.

Was a fantastic chapter overall and I hope for more of the same next chapter

We really missed Annie

Hype's alive again

I shit you not, He actually turned himself into a pickle. A pickle! He called himself pickle Rick. Now that's the funniest shit I have ever seen.

I liked that yams showed conflict in the gathering of the warriors and the 104th and that they weren’t going to forget each other’s crimes

I loved the arguing and tension in the alliance. I like how most of the chapter was around the campfire.

I prefer this chapter to have been the other half split of the previous one. And this one advanced to slowly, with unnecessary things

I'm still waiting for a crazy plot twist

When will the Ackertalk finally come

Where did mikasa go at then end!!!

YELENA!!!

Yelene spitting facts

Annie turned to alcohol

Im fine if this ends with the alliance stopping Eren but I'll find it dumb if Paradis isnt destroyed by the world afterwards. (which I highly doubt will happen)

It was pretty dope

It was really good but we all know I cannot wait another month for the next chapter release. And yes, I am extremely upset that we won't be getting another Levi x Zeke fight.

Honestly Erwins flashback looked forced, that space could've been used to yelena revealing Eren's location, or confirming who that guy from the building was(shadis?)

Love this shit.

Loved it! It's tied with 121 as my favourite chapter from this arc.

Loved it. Not much to say about this one, since it wasn't nearly as controversial as the last one :P

Hoping the deaths I picked are going to happen and I hope 🤞 that ema talk 2 will happen

I'VE BEEN WAITING TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE FOR THIS. I DON'T EVEN CARE IF I GET CORONAVIRUS I CAN DIE HAPPY.

I’ll die of the corona if eren dies

Jeans pretty cool ngl

pointless volume incoming with pointless battle vs floch. Waste of time

Pretty much what I expected after the events of last chapter, in a good way.

I don't forgive Annie

Thank you Yelena

Jeanstans: Attaboy Jean! Reinerstans: HOW DARE HE?! Reiner: Too bad that didn't kill me.

Loved this chapter but it was mostly playing catchup with the rest of the characters, still needed. Really shows how far ahead eren is.

Genocide supporter fans are just bunch of edgy teenagers. Let's see how they support Genocide when they get massacred irl.

More useless drama for a character who is progressively getting more annoying by the minute (hi Jean)

Since the end of the second world war, japan was reconstructed almost entirely by young people, so probably this story will end showing that with some analogy. making that previous statement, i think it won’t be eren, or any of the older characters, since they lived and did the horrors they did and must somehow pay for it(and specially the PTSD most would have, so they’ll be probably incapacitated in some way), i think it will be Gabi, or maybe Falco or someone else, because they are just lost, Gabi changed her mind and personality so well(progress, developed it), so that’s why i think it would or maybe even should be her. am i expecting too much from Isayama?

I believe in the Time-Loop still. But ya, hope Final Battle is with Levi and Eren teaming up. (Also Mikasa a bit before...)

Honestly wished the first few pages were real. I would love it for Jean and Mikasa to actually get together.

Annie clearly has no big role to play, & I think she’s going to go home & find her father dying. On a more positive note, we finally got some character interaction!!

That soup tho

Why should Mikasa be the one who confronts Eren? lmao According to the final exhibition would Armin be the one who will confront Eren, but I'm sure "talk-no-jutsu" will fail as an outcome. It doesn't worked in chapter 112, why should it be different?.

The award goes to Isayama for being the first person writing a story in which I have absolutely 0 clue about what will happen next. Like I never ever was at such a loss of theories. Never.This is both awsome and frightening. At least for that, props to Isayama

Top-tier

Unfair

I love the cart titan

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales 87 Review: A Whale of A Bad Time (Catch as Cash Can Part 2)

A SEA MONSTER ATE MY ICE CREAM! Yup come with me under the cut as I cover one of the most infamous moments of all Ducktales.. and the absolutely bonkers episode attached involving robot ice cream trucks, giant robotic whales, Optimus Prime as a navy admiral, and semen.. er seaman Donald Duck!  All of this and more commissioned by @weirdkev27​ is waiting under the ocean and under the cut! Come aboard!

So yeah....

And not the adventure time or regular show or what have you kind of intetionally weird I mean all the elements just sort of conjeal into a mess of poor decisions in and out of universes, robotic whales and the most insane scheme to get a noble peace prize of all time. If that and the intro didn’t hook you I don’t know what will, let’s do this. 

PREVIOUSLY ON DUCKTALES:

Okay maybe not THAT previously... guess I gotta do this myself. *Grumble grumble* : Last time we met a steoyptical-ish foreign leader give Scrooge and Glomgold a deadline to literally weigh their fortunes in his country at ten days, with Glomgold’s sending the Beagle Boys after Scrooge in an attempt to cheat.. and springing from jail in a giant blimp shaped like a cow because your guess is as good as mine. Scrooge naturally won and here we are. As said last time, these episodes were still basically written as done in ones, able to be digested on their own, just with the overall framework of the four parter, in this case Scrooge and Glomgold’s contest, tieing it together. So with that out of the way. 

We open as Duckburg is hit with a heatwave. 

No that’s Heat Wave.. and besides he works out of central city, not Duckberg silly.. wherever those images come from.. me I guess? I dunno. Point is the boys are sweaty and uncomfortable, just like me 90 percent of the time, and decide to cool off by visiting Scrooge’s new ice cream factory for free samples. We’re only about a minute, and a recap about the contest on the news, in and already the characters this episode are acting kind of dumb.. get used to it. One of Scrooge’s primary, most consistent, most iron clad character traits is he does NOT give away something for nothing. Even for Charity he’ll often try and pench pennies and how much he donates, and in older harsher comics like Carl Barks famous “A Christmas For Shacktown” good luck getting him to donate any money to anyone else AT ALL. If he DOES give someone a gift, it’s usually with an alterior motive or some sort of scheme brewing, with Donald or the Nephews or all four rightly questioning him. The idea any factory of any product of his would give out samples unless he got something out of doint so or that they wouldn’t be tiny or use flavors that don’t sell or some cost cutting measure like that is nuts and while it’s not out of the boys characters to be stupid it is a bit for them to just blindly think he’d be okay with this.  Their soon distracted by other matters once they arrive though as the Guard won’t let them in despite being Huey, Dewey and Louie as much like bill and ted their a package deal, and yes they do a team pose and yes.. it’s actually pretty adorable. Again nepotism has never been a trait of scrooges either boys, why would he start now? They try flagging down one of his ice cream  trucks but they totally ignore him. and seem to be driving automatically... they also look human which... yeah. Just.. yeah. The boys are naturally suspicious and plan to ask scrooge at Dinner. This fails because Scrooge isn’t coming and Beakly refuses to let them disturb him on his orders.. and refused to let Webby eat till everyone’s at the table. I’ll come back to Beakly in a second, and there will be blood dumpster. 

The boys sleep that night, but are woken up by the ice cream trucks and wondering why the hell their running at night... which yeah is weird and was a bad part of the plan. We’ll get to why that plan’s a bit totally fucked in a second though as the boys assume someone is doing something shady with scrooge’s company and pull a Marty McFly, attaching their skateboards to a bumper and then hopping onto one of the trucks. And given that Magica, the Beagle Boys and Flintheart have all gone up at scrooge several times at this point judging by the episode guides, not to mention all the one off thieves, scumbags, con artists and warlords they’ve fought, you honestly can’t blame them for being super suspicious. 

Their suspcions of this being some kind of elaborate theft are semeingly confirmed when instead of , and this is really the flavor they use “Bubble Gum Pistachio Fudge” they find Scrooge’s money. And let’s just take a sec to .. unpack that flavor as none of those go together. I mean in a three scoop cone or bowl maybe, but in the same ice cream your just throwing shit together at that point. And the flavor isn’t outlandish enough to really be a good joke.

 I’ts just three flavors jammed together that don’t belong. It’s not like the, ironically in the same year, 87 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s love for weird pizza toppings. That.. actually comes off as a joke. It didn’t always land in the episodes i’d seen but I get what their going for. Thanks to this infographic I know they put ALL of this on pizza at some point, omitting actual pizza toppings for obvious reasons: Granola, Licorice, Fudge, Marshmallows, Clams, Peanut Butter, Avacado (Which didn’t sound bad in theory but once I thought about it I winced), Pickles, Asparagus, Butterscotch, Onions (Yes I know this is an actual regular pizza topping but no just.. no.. everyone hones in on anchovies, which i’ve never had but no.. onions are the real scourge of the pizza world), Toast, Tea (okay that one actually shocked me), Clam Sauce, Chocolate Sprinkles, Jelly Beans, Yogurt, Coconut, Strawberries, Oatmeal, Grape Jelly, Gucamole, Tuna, Popcorn, Sardines, Whipped Cream, Bannans and Goulash. The point i’m making is it’s not hard to come up with even a weak wacky flavor of something and it was  a weird line to just utterly botch but they somehow did it. Also that the Teenage Mutant Turtles have serious issues to address. I mean onions, really? onions? Guys you can do better... onions are a next mutation topping!

One Tangent Later, the boys and the trucks arrive at the docks where they see the money filled ice cream trucks loading onto a boat and a shadowy mystery man. Who could it be? My money is on

But my money is always on Crab People. It’s likely why i’m poor. But the boys chuck a bag of cash at him, then Louie... prepares to break his legs with a crowbar?

Seriously the truck was automated and they came straight form home. he had to have brought that with him. Whelp at least Louie has a unique character trait: He likes to make people bleed. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a GOOD thing for a 8-10 year old to want to do but it’s better than nothing. Before Louie can get up to a bit of the ultra violence, Huey finds out it’s Scrooge who explains himself: Naturally the sudden new Ice Cream Factory he built in days right next to the bin is a front, and the trucks are his own, a stealthy way to outfox glomgold. While the news said he was transporting the loot by air, he’s doing it by sea stealthily to prevent glomgold from attacking it. Which given he hasn’t a giant cow Zepplin, fair enough. 

The rest of this though is ludicrously overcomplicated: First off it’s not REMOTELY stealthy to build a giant fake factory next to your bin, days before you transport your cash, something so obvious i’m suprised Glomgold dind’t just come to the factory himself and set some explosives. Second while Robot Drivers isn’t a bad idea, Glomgold has many spies with many eyes, it’s a BIG gamble to both have active trucks around, especially at night carrying large sums of cash. I mean what if the police stopped them? Sure Scrooge could get his money back legally, but Flintheart might get to it first or bribe some cops first. Or some dirty cops might take it for themselves. It’s also WEIRDLY costly for someone as spiendthrift as Scrooge, I mean while he owns the land for the factory he had to buy a ton of trucks, pay for gyro’s, i’m assuming Gyro’s at least, material to make the robots, and pay for the guard to keep people out as well as presumibly either well paid workers or more robots inside to get the money into the trucks. It’s just hilariously overcomplicated and while not an intentional joke clearly got a laugh out of me as it just makes no logical sense for scrooge’s character and he’s done similar ideas for far less money in the comics. It’s a carl barks style “hide the money bin’s cash” plot, funnled through bloodshot eyes of someone having done a small mountain of cocaine to get this script done on time and I love it for that. The boys applaud their uncle for his wacky scheme while a mysteroius periscope watches them from a distance. 

The Next Morning Beakly is still awful as despite everyone being there, she now refuses to let Webby eat till everyone’s settled. And NOW we can talk about 87 Beakly. I don’t like her. She’s had one or two moments in the episodes I watched, but outside of that she’s a bland character who mostly fusses over the boys and webby, worries things are too dangerous, or is there for a weak joke. She’s just not all that intresting, and while i’ll grant the 87 Ducktales cast isn’t the deepest set of characters and the boys can be annoying depending on the episode.. their at least INTRESTING. The boys are clever, rambunctions and curious, Webby has all of that and an underlying swetness that while cloying at times is mostly just really endearing, Launchpad is a klutz and a crash magnet but means well and keeps trying and genuinely is a good scoutleader and person, and Scrooge despite his rough edges is a hardscrabbled adventuerer. The rest of the main cast here at least has a drive and character to them that makes the stories work when their at their best. Beakly is just kinda.. there. Why I also go into this is because 87 Webby gets a lot of shit.. and she really dosen’t deserve it. Yes she’s clearly a studio executives idea of what a little girl should like and that’s bad. And yes she got kidnapped a bunch.. but so did everyone else. But she makes up for that by being the heart of the team, offering love and empathy to all of them, easily bonding with varous animals and people they meet, and genuinely offering a naive but optimistic worldview that nicely contrasts with scrooge and the boys understandable cyncism. And she CAN handle herself more often than not. Wheras frank and co basically took almost everything about beakly and started over with Webby they simply tweaked her for the times: Made her about the same age if not older than the triplets so their equals, took away the triplet’s outdated and utterly loathsome sexisim, and added badassery and intellegence to her already admirable emotional skills and naive optimism, along with some boundless energy on top.They took a decent character and made her an amazing one.  With Beakly.. they took a dodering, easily frightned old lady whose overly proper and stuffy and turned her into a taciturn, snarky, badass former secret agent whose the sanest person in the mansion and when she IS wrong, will not only admit it but usually had some good reason for it. She also goes from being mostly deferent to scrooge to one of his few equals, to the point that the “87 Cent Solution!” lampshades the fact that if they’d called her the episode would’ve been over, as she’s , outside of a few exceptions the one person he listens to. She’s a throughly likeable, throughly complex character and one i’m glad their doing more with this season while I really hope I don’t see the original her more than I have to.  Okay with that rant done for this and any future retro ducktales reviews, we can get to the reason your all here and Kev comissioned me to do all 4 of these episodes: You’ve seen it on youtube, you’ve seen it in “Let’s get Dangerous”, you’ve seen it in dreams, ladies, gentleman and others, A. SEA. MONSTER. ATE. MY. ICE. CREAM. 

As the family sits for pancakes, Wippleman, Scrooge’s accountant and what I can only assume is this universe’s version of WWE manager Harvey Wippleman, comes in and has some bad news for Scrooge: A Sea Monster of some kind sunk one of his ships.. but the good news it was only Ice Cream. Knowing what it really was Scrooge goes absolute APE shit and procedes to hop around the table going absolutely insane, destroying everyone’s breakfast, with poor webby bemoaning she’ll never get to eat, Beakly remarking “it must’ve been some ice cream’ which isnt’ a bad line, Huey explaning what’s up with the weirdly delivered “It was half his fort-une!” and the boys finally restraining Scrooge with an impromptu tablecloth straightjacket, which calms him down and he hops off to get his money back. Wether you’ve seen the scene for yourself and ESPECIALLY if somehow you haven’t, it’s right here if you want to take another look. 

This scene is not only the most remembered part of the special, and easily the most beloved, it’s one of the best scenes in all of Ducktales 87 and easily one of the funniest across duck canon. Everything just clicks: The concept, the animation showing off just how manic scrooge is, how he never does the same move twice, how rather than looping it Alan Young very clearly said the word a bunch of times each time with a different more manic and uniquely hilarious delivery, Beakly’s deadpan reaction, and the boys vain attempts to restrain him before finally succeeding. Everything about this works and in an otherwise just really off center episode, this sparkling gem of a scene stands out. I waited till now to talk about Alan Young’s scrooge and honestly the man defined the roll for a reason: he can do a dramatic or emotional delivery just as effortlessly as a comic bit like this, and plays the character with the sternness and stubbornness expected. He got the character perfectly and it’s unsurprising Frank and Matt wanted him to reprise the roll and he only didn’t because he sadly passed on, though I will say David Tenant is a perfect replacement. Though even HE couldn’t do the Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream bit as well as Alan, as his felt a bit more stilted and was clearly looped, but really I don’t think anyone could top him at this. It’s his shining moment as the character and he earned it square. 

So getting back to the ten car pileup that is the rest of this episode, the boys and Scrooge head under the sea, doot doot doot, to find his ship. But while under water they instead find the navy who’ve quarantined the ship.. yet aren’t wearing face masks inside their little suits. How odd. Guess the giant glass dome and giant ocean of water between them and the ship helps but still, you can’t be too careful.  Point is both sides are being kind of douchey: The Naval Guards, rather than direct Scrooge to their superior to PROVE it’s his vessel and ask questions to him directly since their aircraft carrier soon turns out not to be far from here just tell him he can’t pass and Scrooge is as bill gerent as you’d expect. I’m not saying people aren’t this dumb in real life, just google any video of a karen of any gender throwing a giant tantrum in a store over masks, i’m just saying i’td be nice to move the plot along without unnecessary cul de sacs.  The boys however naturally have a way around this and sneak in with scrooge on the underside of a sea turtle. It’s a genuinely clever tactic. They find the ship with a large bite out of it.. and the Navy then swoop in to take them in. 

On the ship Scrooge continues to not help his case and pulls a classic old white guy and demands to see their superior. Or white person in particular really. Point is he throws a strop on their way to what could easily be a trip to the brig with his behavior and possible criminal charges, while the boys muse that this is Donald’s ship. For the uninitiated, the in-series reason Donald left the boys for this series was he was called back to the Navy, and thus left the boys with Scrooge. Out of series it was an executive mandate: As Tad Stones, future creator of Darkwing Duck and story editor for Ducktales 87, explained, and I found out about this via looper, Disney was nervous about having one of their biggest characters overexposed by having him as part of 65 episode tv show. This was combined with the fact they were worried Donald’s voice would make stories confusing.  I also believe, if with no proof there was at third reason: Tony Anselmo had just started as Donald Duck, taking over from the late great Clarence Nash at Nash’s request after Nash died in 85, and they likely feared putting Tony through such a ringer this soon might sour audiences on him before audiences had gotten used to the new voice actor. So with all this Donald was kept to the occasional guest roll, though I will say while there have been complaints about Donald’s voice on this show I have no issue with it. It’s not as good as the reboot.. but the reboot also comes after Tony’s been playing the roll for over 30 years and is just as iconic as his predecessor in the roll at this point versus two years after his mentor died and he picked up his sword.. or squawky duck voice in this case. 

Scrooge is escorted to Admiral Grimitz, the head of this aircraft carrier whose showed up in other Donald episodes, specifically his segment of the Treasure of the Golden Suns series opener. He’s the gruff but mostly fair head of the ship and is voiced by, of all the va’s possible, Peter “Optimus Prime” Cullen, using a voice that is DIFFRENT but not by much. It’s hard not to be distracted by it. The Admiral waves scrooge off from his entirely justified fear the Army stole his money, but refuses to give any details since i’ts classified. Scrooge angrily.. decides to do the next shipment anyway and tells them to stay out of it instead of calling the president like he threatened to get some answers. Or threaten to pull funding for his military contracts. I know Scrooge never would, but they don’t know that. It’s just.. odd to see scrooge give up and it would’ve made more sense if the Admiral threatened legal action first or something that would get him to back off.  The Admiral then brings in Donald, and gives him the truth: Their own scientist, Dr. Bluebottle, stole an experimental sub shaped like a whale and stole the money for reasons they don’t know. So since he can go undercover easily, he sends Donald to go with scrooge and slaps a transmitter on him so they can track him. Donald also does some slapstick. That’s my boy. And yes it was a very nice surprise to see him again since i’d forgot he was in this episode. Especially since aside from “The Trickining!” he hasn’t been in any episodes since Ducktales came back. Justifably though as none of those NEEDED him and the show’s massively improved from it’s “donald might as not well exist” days of season 1, I just miss him is all and it’s nice to see some form of him again.  And this is where the episode kinda lost me, as this scheme, while not really out of the bounds of the reality, just.. feels like it overcomplicates the plot for the sake of padding. I mean I buy the Government going iwth a far more complex plan to cover their own asses.. but it would’ve made more sense from a plot standpoint to have it go this way: The Admiral is honest with Scrooge, tells him about bluebottle.. and threatens him into helping them by pointing out he broke into a federal quarantine and defined naval orders and could be brought up on charges, and if he tired telling anyone about Bluebottle could likewise be tried for leaking federal secrets. That way instead of using an unknowing scrooge as bait he goes into the situation KNOWING he’s probably going to get captured and while grumbly about it uses it to his advantage. Donald could still plausibly be sent along as naval lisaon/as a seemingly nice act/to have the bug to track the sub. Instead it just feels like they added an extra uncessary step to things to pad the episode more. I mean if you needed to do that just add more of the sea monster or give launchpad a cameo. He’s been missing for days at this point. 

So Scrooge and family, which naturally includes Webby and Beakly even if I don’t like classic bleakly she’s still family, head out with the second half of his fortune which makes next to no sense when he has days left in the concept and you know, half is missing, but whatever. Naturally the obvious happens and we meet the famous Sea Monster.. which actually looks neat.. it’s drawn like your standard cartoony killer whale but has bits of indents much like a sub would to show it’s not entirely a beast. It’s a nice bit of design work. The whale eats the cash and Donald and Scrooge but the navy pick up the boys, webby and beakly.  Donald let’s things slip on the sub, while back at the carrier the good Admiral explains the rest and my other issues with the plot aside this scene is a good bit of exploition as it explains some obvious questions away cleverly, something this plot could’ve used more of frankly but it’s refreshing to get at least a little: The reason they don’t just attack the sub en masse, besides it being you know incredibly valuable is that it’s made to be torpedo resistant, it’s sonar resitant so they can’t track it easily, and it’s faster than any ship. After all it was made to be a super weapon, so naturally the carriers standard barrage of navy vehicles can’t match it. However again to the episodes credit the tracker is actually vitally important, as it allows them to see the ship and where it is, so they can attack.. though right now their holding off on it since a crewman and a civilian are on board but if it comes down to it they’ll have no choice. I also gotta admit..t his concept is pretty cool. Kind of ridiculous? Sure but a super sub shaped like a whale that can still bite like one and outrun and outlast any other sea vehicle? It’s undoubtly awesome and a point in this episodes favor.  But now we get to most gloriously insane and convoluted part of the episode.. yes NOW we do. Donald and Scrooge naturally sneak around the ship, and find Dr. Bluebottle at his controls, talking to Flintheart on a video monitor. Turns out, to no one’s surprised, Flintheart subcontracted out his plans to Bluebottle and in exchange for keeping the money under the ocean till the contest, Glomgold is going to make sure he gets the Nobel Prize, and covers on all the magazines.  Okay at first I genuinely thought this plan made no sense.. until I realized it does, but ONLY for Glomgold. Bluebottle comes off as the smartest moron that’s ever lived for agreeing to any of this. But I have to give Glommy this the plan works out great for him: He convinces an already Rogue scientist to steal scrooge’s money, which prevents Scrooge from finding out what’s going on as he, correctly, guessed the government would cover this up because of course they did. He then correctly figured either the government would work with scrooge to trap bluebottle or they’d just use scrooge as bait anyway without a formal agreement, thus netting him scrooge’s entire fortune. He knows bluebottle won’t take it up because he gave bluebottle a bribe specifically for him and the only thing he wants, and even if he does take the money, Glomgold has more and Bluebottle could still remotely blow up the sub or something. And if he can’t the Navy would have to hold the sub, and money included , as evidence for the trial. And even if Bluebottle DOES rat him out, Glomgold could easily bury the evidence. The only way glomgold gets caught is if Bluebottle recorded their video chats or if scrooge saw them talking.. which he did, but given the two are direct competitors his testimony is dubious at best as is donald’s. So basically Flintheart almost certainly wins no matter what, and Bluebottle takes the fall no matter what. It does make Bluebottle comeff as a massive moron for not thinking of this, but props to glomgold.  Also yeah.. it’s clear to me at this point that if he hasn’t said it somewhere Frank clearly did the same thing he did with Gyro here with Flintheart: Take one accidental trait from the original (Glomgold’s penchant for overly complicated schemes and Gyro’s tendency to make robots that go rogue.) and make it a part of their personality instead of just a coincidence and turn it up to 11 for hilarity.. which worked in both cases. I genuinely thought this Flintheart was saner but no he’s just less interesting.  So Bluebottle gets an intruder alert.. and turns around to find Scrooge and Donald. Who rather than just whap the guy on the head while his back is turned, just stood there to confront him directly. 

Look this review is running long and is behind, I don’t have more time to marvel over how plot conveniently stupid they are being right now. A fight ensues with blue bottles inventions till Donald threatens to pull a big lever. I’ts thankfully not the self destruct lever like Donald thinks or Bluebottle’s equivlent of the blow up the engine button because he’s clearly just that smart, but a lever to dump all the gold.. which isn’t a terrible idea for once as if the ship gets stalled it can float up, as we’ll naturally see as there was no way they weren’t going to pull this chekov’s lever at some point. Scrooge stops him, Bluebottle uses gadgets to tie both up and finds out about the bug , as that’s why the miltary have been able to attack him which happened but I didn’t get to becuse of all the stupid. Bluebottle snuffs it out and then fully assaults the aircraft carrier, and things look grim. But Scrooge and Donald aren’t put down that easily and escape and scrooge pulls a donald and just starts breaking shit and breaks the sub.  Now with the sub plumiting, and Bluebottle bragging that only he can fix it as the sub will just keep sinking into the ocean’s depths.. and that only it’s design has kept compression from crushing them to death. But Scrooge has another solution and a suprisingly, and badassingly self sacrifical one: He dumps the money into the marinara trench, nice pun, and thus the whale floats up, Bluebottle is arrested, and Glomgold... still wins for now as Scrooge still has to get his fortune out, but Scrooge figures Gyro can help with that. We get an everybody laughs ending and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts: This one is a mess. While it has a great moment here or there, Donald and Tony as him are fantastic as they are now, and of course A Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream! is an utterly classic scene and an utter joy to watch. The attached episode is just a mess structurally, if still a fun watch. Yes despite my bitching about it the sheer slapped together nature of it means it’s fun to pick apart and make fun of, so it’s not unwatchable. I’ve seen worse episodes of this very show, and worse episodes of tv. But as an old friend would say.

Not a terrible sit, but it easily could’ve been better. I’m also getting tired of scrooge being enitrely usless and just throwing up his hands at times. Stop that he’s better than that. With this one THANKFULLY AND FINALLY out of the way, next up is Aqua Ducks....... 

Oh god. Well if you want to see the next one follow me. If there’s an episode of any animated show you’d like to see me cover classic ducktales, modern ducktales, disney in general, etc, etc, just send me a PM and you can comission a review. 5 bucks for one episode, 15 for a movie and 5 bucks off one episode when you order three or more like say a multiparter like this. Until then say safe, check your house for Busey’s and hopefully we’ll meet again. 

[thebachelordiaries]

The Shit Show..I Mean ‘The Bachelor’ Finale Recap

Editor’s Note: I wrote 90 percent of this recap right after the finale came out. Did I post it? Nope. Why not, you ask? Because I just didn’t, ok? One of my friends even called me out on it/ shamed me for not having my recap up. (Hi Feroze, this post is dedicated to you.) Anyway, I’m posting my recap now because I have an inkling the cast list for The Bachelorette is coming out soon and I want to have this posted before that happens. I like to plan in advance. I’m a very organized person. Clearly. Without further ado, read my recap of The Bachelor finale and weep....

No matter what happened on The Bachelor finale, you’ve got to admit that it was good television.

Becca Kufrin is am amazing woman who would make the best wife.

And that’s why Arie chose her.

But he went against his heart when he was so obviously in love with Lauren. 

And now he’s paying the consequences.

I honestly can see why he was so torn. I recently watched Bachelorette Canada (great show, please watch it) and Jasmine had to choose between Kevin and Mikhel. For those who don’t know, Mikhel is an amazing dude who would make the perfect husband. He’s sweet, handsome, emotional, smart, blah, blah, blah. Jasmine knows this, but her heart wanted to go with Kevin. And that’s what she did. She got a lot of slack for not going with the ideal man (Mikhel), but maybe following your heart is the way to go. Arie proved going with the logical choice didn’t work out so well. (And let’s just ignore the fact that Jasmine and Kevin broke up like nine months later...that’s irrelevant to my point.)

Oh my gosh there is so much to say about the finale! I’m overwhelmed.

Meeting The Parents

Lauren B goes first. While she’s not a big talker, Arie’s parents seemed to really like her. 

But Arie’s sister-in-law asked a question that got Arie reconsidering things: “Could you stay up all night talking to her?” His response showed he wasn’t so sure Lauren could do that.

You know how I know that Arie’s parents liked Lauren? Because they couldn’t stop talking about her to Becca. Poor Becca was obviously bothered by it, but at the end of the day, she’s the type of girl who “crushes” meeting the family. 

Arie’s family came to the conclusion that Becca was more “wifey” material and would challenge him more than Lauren. While I don’t think their opinions should matter that much after only spending two hours with the women, a conflicted Arie definitely took it into consideration. 

Fun fact: Ben Higgin’s mom actually preferred JoJo but admitted it was just based on first impressions and didn’t matter much. Ben convinced production to not air that part on the show. However, it did end up as a deleted scene.

After meeting the parents, Arie was suddenly on Team Becca.

That is....until his next date with Lauren.

Final Dates

Despite knowing he isn’t going to pick her, Arie goes hiking up Machu Picchu with Lauren. Here, they have such a good time that he changes his mind...again. 

Plus, Lauren finally opens up and starts to become more vulnerable with Arie. In an ITM he said he fell in love with her early on and couldn’t explain why (sounds like Ben Higgins.) He says if he could propose this second, it would be to Lauren.

However, he has one more date with Becca. And he once again changes his mind...again. Surprise, surprise. 

Another surprise: I don’t remember what Becca and Arie did on their date. All I know is that Arie changes his mind for the final time. 

Engagement Day

This was hard to watch. I think Ashely I. said on her podcast that the woman who got rejected by Arie would be the most led on in Bachelor history.

Each girl was so confident going into the end because I think Arie truly didn’t know who he was going to pick. He claims his final decision was made that morning.

Arie dumped Lauren and said he gave their relationship “all he had,” whatever that means.

This man is holding the woman’s hand he dumped up to his heart.

Here are the three sentences Lauren said after she was dumped:

“I’m extremely confused.”

“Why did you do that?”

“I still love you.”

In the limo, Lauren said Arie chose the easy route. And I completely agree. 

Takeaway: I guess this is a lesson for all of us that we should follow our hearts and not our minds.

Arie then proposes to Becca K. I’m not sure whether it was because I knew it wasn’t going to work out, but I didn’t feel any passion in this engagement.

I also barely looked at the ring, which is like, very out of character for me.

Becca and Arie say they’re going to start making babies that night, acting all happy and stuff. However, we knew the [upcoming] truth. 

Apparently right after they left Peru, Arie started regretting his decision.

Happy Couples Weekend

First and foremost, ABC does not record happy couples weekends. Yet Becca was somehow convinced that nothing was out of the ordinary that weekend. The devil works hard but Bachelor producers work harder.

Becca and Arie got engaged in mid-November. From there, they got to see each other every-other weekend at a “safe house” typically in LA with no cameras involved. Just them. 

At this time around mid-January, a producer tricked Becca into believing they were doing a “happy couples update” or something. But instead of an update, Arie dumps Becca for Lauren, and we have to watch Becca’s heartbreak in real time, sans editing. It was hard to watch. Mainly because Arie was so awkward, showed little empathy for Becca and stayed long past his welcome.

On top of “feeling like [her] future was ripped away” from her, Becca was sent home and sat in the middle economy seat back to Minnesota. Brutal.

Virginia Is For Ex Lovers

Now that Arie is free of Becca, he travels to Virginal Beach to win back his woman, Lauren B.

But let’s be real here. Arie knew Lauren would take him back before he even broke up with Becca. 

Despite having a panic attack before meeting Lauren at her parents’ house in Virginia Beach, she jumps into his arms without hesitation. I know she probably had more questions when speaking with him on the phone, but she took him back a little too easily in my opinion. Make this guy sweat a little. Like, he led you on more than any other person in Bachelor history, broke your heart and got engaged to another woman because you weren’t “marriage material” enough; make him beg. 

BUT ALSO: He did ruin his public image for her.....how many men can you say would do that for YOU?

So, while some people would rather die alone with lots of regret than take someone back who broke their heart, Lauren sucked it up and forgave Arie. I give her major props.

A Timeline of Arie’s giant fuck up:

Mid-November— Arie proposes to Becca

Late November to December— Arie starts missing Lauren (apparently he posted an IG story wearing socks Lauren gave her. (Wait, is Arie 21-year-old me giving subtle signs on social media to the guy I like?) Lauren watched the video and says she was “confused” by it.

New Years Day— Arie slides into Lauren’s DMs (with Becca’s alleged permission)

One Week Later— Arie dumps Becca in front of cameras.

Mid-January— Arie travels to Virginia Beach to get back with Lauren.

Mid-March— After The Final Rose airs live. Arie asks Lauren to marry him in a very cringeworthy proposal (don’t worry it wasn’t the same ring.) 

Still Mid-March— Becca pretends to be over the breakup so she can be announced as The Bachelorette. Becca meets five men who will be vying for her love. America loses their shit.

Did Airing The Breakup Cross The Line?

Most people felt that Arie’s “real time” breakup with Becca went too far. After all, nothing like this has happened before on the show. Becca went from happy, to shocked, to upset, to utterly heartbroken in front of our eyes. Somehow she didn’t curse out Arie or smack in him the face, which by America’s standards means she exudes class.

I agree that airing the breakup was messed up. But it had to be done. How else would Becca become The Bachelorette? No one would understand her storyline. Everyone would complain that she wasn’t emotionally ready to find love again. To be honest, it probably is too soon, but after watching Becca have her heart broken, America is emotionally invested in her love story. We all want to see her happy. And I will argue she has the best storyline of any Bachelorette in the history of the show.

So, to answer my own question: Yes, but it was necessary.

Do You Support Arie and Lauren’s Relationship?

I disagree with the argument that he loved Lauren and Becca equally, regretted his decision and then went back to Lauren. 

He always loved Lauren more. He just went with the “on paper” choice.

Based on what was shown of the season, Arie was completely infatuated with Lauren. I wrote this in one of my recaps without knowing any spoilers.

I am clairvoyant. 

Arie RUINED...RUINEDDDDD his public reputation to get Lauren back. He is hated by America now. This man decided that having Lauren was more important than being liked by millions of people. That takes some balls. Politically correct Ben Higgins would never. Nick “put me on another reality show” Viall would never. Farmer Chris Soules will allegedly kill someone, but still, would never.

You can hate Arie all you want, but you gotta respect him. He literally destroyed any speckle of pride he had left to get back with Lauren. Find you a man who will throw away all his pride to be with you. 

I hope they last and have lots of Arie and Lauren babies. I find their love story really romanic. Sue me.

[strawbunny-slime]

Sooo~ ENTIRELY too long ago (sorry!! aaaa), @shyflowerfairy and @alexcutecolly both mentioned me in one of those cool facts-about-yourself challenges, which you can find the veeeeeery first version of here! Without any further ado, five just-whatever facts about me!

1. My favorite story right now is this young-adult comic called Goodbye to Halos! It’s suuuuper cool omg and I don’t want to spoil too much about it, but it’s got some gorgeous art, wonderful writing, and maaaybe one of the most beautiful, influential analyses of love as a concept that I’ve ever read? And also the main character is a trans girl and I maaay or may not have a crush on like...75 to 90 percent of the characters introduced in it. I can’t exactly recommend it to anyone under 18, but if you’re over 18 and you want a story about a trans girl in a city full of queer folk trying to find out more about her place in a world of cool magic, go looking for it!! (And also check out Portside Stories while you’re at it; it’s an abandoned webcomic by the same author, Valerie Halla, and it’s responsible for me coming to grips with my gender identity!!)

2. I’m polyamorous! I’ve got like four girlfriends, maybe five?, they all know each other and love each other a whole ton, and while I haven’t asked them about it before now, I am 110% certain they would all be okay with me ending up in relationships with other folks! (Which is why I can have four girlfriends & also flirt with like 5 different people here. =u=)

3. I first got into Pokemon when my brother decided to try Pokemon Platinum. He made it all the way to the Distortion World, then got stuck on one of the puzzles there. I took over to try to solve it for him aaaaaand I never gave it back. It’s kind of sad - I bet he’d still play the series if I hadn’t stolen Platinum from him! But he doesn’t seem to mind, for whatever that’s worth. ‘^^

4. I don’t ironically like anything! Either I genuinely like a thing or I genuinely dislike a thing. I used to pretend like I ironically like a few things most folks hate - a few main-series Sonic titles, chiefly - but somewhere along the line (Valerie Halla, the artist I mentioned in question 1, might have had something to do with this), I sorta dropped the “ironically” bit. And honestly, I’ve been happier ever since! Sure, I’m bound to get some weird looks when I say I really, honestly do like Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 (considered one of the worst games in the entire franchise), but I’ve come to realize it’s way more fun to just own an interest than to pretend not to have it at all. (This is one of the reasons why I also think cringe culture needs to hurry up and die - folks shouldn’t be mocked for trying to own an interest in something! Especially when most of those folks are kids?? Like seriously what the fuck)

5. For as chipper and peppy as I try to be (those are fun words, actually, wow), I’m actually kind of a nervous wreck when ya get ta know me. I have a lot of insecurities that I’m trying to work my way through, or rationalize somehow so that I can at least own those, too, instead of pretending they don’t exist. Most of them are silly, attention-seeking insecurities, too, to be honest - I’m always worried when I see my follower count drop, and I’m a little disheartened that I don’t get a constant flood of asks for Sweetheart anymore, and honestly? For as embarrassed as I am to have it? I’m a little miffed that only like three people asked for info about my lewd alt?? I dunno, I dunno, aaaah!! Point is I am cheerful and happy to talk to folks and offer advice but also I am insecure and if we’re good enough friends I may accidentally dump like 20 things on you at once, whoops!!

Okay, that last one was kind of a downer! Let’s get a sixth, just to keep things a lil happier around here.

6. I must have mentioned this before, but this isn’t actually my first Tumblr account! Up ‘til about a year ago, I had a main account that was kinda steeped in sociopolitical activism and discourse, and it wasn’t bad, don’t get me wrong, but when my account ended up being like...99% full of no-extra-commentary reblogs, with, at best, 0.5% commentary and 0.5% stuff I made on my own? I sorta decided to try to make this one as a creative writing project, and to get more acquainted with my, shall we say, interests. In an ironic twist, I logged into this one for the first time, and I just...never logged out! The old one’s been gathering dust for...a year now, almost? And I don’t ever plan to go back to it, either. I’ve got a nice mix of topics to discuss here, from g/t and vore to venting to that sociopolitical activism I mentioned. It’s way more fun here, and I have all y’all to thank for that!! <3

Now for the tricky part - tagging 10 of my followers! Off the top of my head (ignore this if you’ve already done this challenge): @giantessfeferi @tinyinumason @somedaynotsoon @voracioussinner @ayasebunny @talltails @petite-pocket-bee @j-anne-bonne @gt-flufftimes @gtanddragons !! (and @so-very-small omg I should’ve included them here aaa)

[flarebossmalva]

notes for my friend for hire mix is she promised to the night

#abuse #death m

this won’t make a lot of sense if you haven’t read friend for hire. even if you have, i wrote that story back in ‘13 and made the playlist at around the same time and it’s ‘18 now and i don’t exactly remember what was going through my head when i put this together, so this might be a less enlightening mix notes post. regardless, here we go.

only happy when it rains / garbage

one of the things i figured out very early on about jack is that she’s pretentious and melodramatic and on some level enjoys having something to complain about. after all, what kind of fifteen-year-old runs an overly verbose vent blog filled entirely with lengthy personal posts about some girl her parents are paying her to befriend? well, probably someone who likes to wallow in it a bit. friend for hire is, i guess, something of a tragedy, but it’s also being told by a character who has a tendency to revel in being sad.

seventeen / marina and the diamonds

growing pains. teenage angst. more establishing material for who jack is. 

about a girl / nirvana

this is definitely a song jack likes — i’m pretty sure i alluded to her fondness for 90s grunge at least once. nirvana songs are hard to analyze because kurt cobain was the sort of lyricist who mostly didn’t give a fuck about what his lyrics actually meant; regardless, the way i read this song is that it’s about being too hung up on someone who isn’t that level of hung up on you, who has a life outside of you. an unbalanced relationship, broadly speaking, which is what jack and luna’s thing was from the get-go because of the money jack pockets for it and the three-year age gap between the two.

crushcrushcrush / paramore

i think i put this on there more for the mood than for any specific lyric. this is a story about angsty teenagers. it definitely calls for some paramore. 

down today / jonathan coulton

this dude can write a passive-aggressive song like no one’s business. i mean, if you haven’t heard this song, it’s about how someone (maybe an ex, from context) is attempting to go off on you but you don’t even give a shit because you’re having a good time with a nice girl now. also: did jack make friends with luna to spite her mom? one hundred percent yes she did.

summersong / the decemberists

song about taking it easy because it’s summertime and summer comes and goes quickly. the main events of this story happen over the course of one summer — that’s about a three-month time frame. that’s quick. but a lot can happen in a single season, especially if you’re young.

summertime / my chemical romance

abandoning the rest of the world to run away with someone. this song is off mcr’s concept album set in a dystopia, so relating it to a much more mundane occurrence (two adolescents becoming friends) helped set the overdramatic us-vs-them teenager mentality mood i wanted the story to have.

born to die / lana del rey

more moody shit, plus the line “you like your girls insane” for a little nod at the mental illness themes i was working with. and a little mild suicidal ideation, why not?

kimberly / patti smith

i don’t know what the fuck patti smith is on about half the time, i’ll confess, but i love the imagery in this song; it’s weird and surreal and grand and apocalyptic and ends with the narrator gazing “into your starry eyes, baby” for the rest of the song. more “the two of us against the rest of the world” / “all we have is each other” kind of stuff, in context.

4 o’clock / emilie autumn

so we’ve mostly been from jack’s perspective in this playlist till now, but here’s a bit of luna. she’s an insomniac, and when she does sleep, she sleepwalks. for a girl named after the moon, she’s learning to dread the night pretty well. i confess that this bit of luna’s character is also based off of my first depressive episode in part because i kept myself awake at night until sunrise because paranoia made me fear the dark. 

asleep / emilie autumn

luna again, big surprise. pretty self-explanatory. wanting to sleep but it sounds an awful lot like wanting to be dead at times, too. 

is she weird / pixies

yes, she is weird. this is where i got the title of the mix from. 

monster / paramore

again, us vs. rest of the world stuff. drowning imagery in this one too. i don’t remember my writing process for this story too well but i’m pretty sure the foreshadowing was far from subtle.

girls! girls! girls! / emilie autumn

i think i referred to this song explicitly in the story. this is victorian notions of female madness / hysteria stuff, which is a theme i hope i explored at least a little because it was a big influence while writing this thing. iirc i had jack reference this song which is sort of getting at jack’s gender issues i guess, not seeing herself as a girl and all that.

fear of dying / jack off jill

i love foreshadowing apparently. also sort of a “i don’t want to die and leave you behind (but if we died together it’d be alright)” thing here.

northern star / hole

more night imagery. also a really moody track, sort of apocalyptic-sounding. it’s hole so i’ll be damned if i know what the lyrics are supposed to mean but the tone fits. i think i had this one associated in my mind with a specific scene i wrote where luna shows up at jack’s house unexpectedly.

how strange / emilie autumn

don’t remember which of my main characters i associated this one with but i wanted to get some early emilie autumn in there and this song is basically a passive-aggressive “you don’t know me like that” track. also the chorus talks about dreams which naturally were an important part of this story.

if you feel better / emilie autumn

abuse victim anthem am i right. the lyrics for this one are basically like “you can blame everything on me and treat me like i’m just a heartless person taking advantage of you if it helps you to do that because i’m past fighting you on it” and, again, you can definitely read it as passive-aggressive but i’m not sure you have to either because this is 100% the mentality abuse victims commonly adopt during their abuse. could work for jack and luna or for jack and her mom. 

the killing type / amanda palmer

the narrator of this song constantly asserts a nonviolent, pacifistic nature but is clearly willing, if not eager, to resort to violence to fix a broken relationship. if that ain’t a mood, i guess. i think this is more of a luna track, except she’s like twelve and ends up directing violence at herself instead of towards anyone else.

i want my innocence back / emilie autumn

given the ages of my protagonists, loss of innocence is in the thematic mix, and i think luna in particular (who is just moving out of childhood into adolescence) wants to go back to how she was before losing some vestige of innocence... another violent song too, but not angry, the violence here is matter-of-fact. a means to an end. luna’s basically dealing with the onset of mental illness symptoms (i never decided what she might have, but definitely some measure of psychosis) and doesn’t know what’s happening but wishes things could return to “normal” for her.

time for tea / emilie autumn

my main reason for including this track, i think, was because luna would like it. it’s about girls exacting bloody revenge, what’s not to love?

eloise / the damned

given jack’s overall musical taste (which i don’t think i discussed too much in canon, but i alluded to it more than once), i’m sure she’d like this song. the angst makes it fit. also like... doing everything you can think of to keep someone happy and then losing them anyway.

liar / emilie autumn

god i really put a lot of emilie autumn on this one huh. this is another track that could work for jack’s relationship with her mom (i think when i had her review opheliac in a blog post, she mentioned liking this song; that’s why), but it’s more relevant to jack and luna’s relationship ultimately, especially once luna finds out jack’s been getting paid to befriend her.

when i am queen / jack off jill

extremely a luna track, the chorus is even about suicide by drowning for fuck’s sake. not sure there’s much more to say, the relation of this one to the story is probably very obvious.

shallot / emilie autumn

very pretty song about being imprisoned and escaping it in order to die free, or something. also a lot of water/night imagery. very luna.

where is my mind? / pixies

water imagery again, also losing your mind or realizing you never had one to begin with. most applicable to luna but jack is probably the one who likes this track.

come away to the water / maroon 5 ft. rozzi crane

the title is probably enough explanation but this is about children being taken to be slaughtered, so. there’s that.

4 o’clock reprise / emilie autumn

if friend for hire was a movie i’d want this to play the night luna drowns. that’s all i gotta say on that.

redondo beach / patti smith

this song is about a woman who has a fight with her girlfriend and then goes looking for her; along the way she sees a commotion on the beach, where a girl has just washed up dead, but ignores it to keep search for her gf, not realizing till the end of the song who the dead girl on the beach is. obviously i picked it because it’s about someone drowning herself following a fight with a loved one.

dear prudence / siouxsie and the banshees

the narrator of this song implores the titular prudence to come outside and play, but i’ve always thought prudence sounded... well, dead, the way the narrator keeps imploring her to open her eyes. i’m not sure if that’s like a “valid interpretation” of the track but in my mind prudence is absolutely not alive. at this point in the story neither is luna, so.

if i burn / emilie autumn

friend for hire concluded with jack realizing that even though luna’s dead, she’s never going to be rid of her. this track is about someone asserting that even if she dies, her killer will never be rid of her memory and will be haunted by her forever.

[lexxikitty-blog1]

Poppy Jenkins by Clare Ashton Read: July 2016 Rating: 3 Stars

Forgive me for indulging for a moment or two in moving into the review/notes-on-what-I-read indirectly.

For those who have read my reviews some may or may not recall something that I find myself mentioning once or thrice when writing reviews for Melissa Brayden books – the simple fact that I came to the party late. Most of those who I know/follow/friended at the very least really liked, or loved Brayden’s books. So, I entered somewhat nervously – only to find that I loved them as well.

So, why am I saying all this in a little box set aside for a book by Clare Ashton? Simple enough really – when I started reading this book, the book in question, ‘Poppy Jenkins’ (you know, the book this review is taking place on), had a rating somewhere near or above 4.6. I think it was actually at 4.64 at the time I started. And my friends, 17 of them (actually, only six have rated the book), had combined to give a rating of 4.83. Did I think of that at all? No. Because I’d read something else by Ashton first, something I gave high marks to, though also something that isn’t listed at the end of the book in the ‘other works by this author’ section (maybe because it’s a short story? Perhaps because it involves dildos both as the main ‘thing’ of the story, and in the title?). So, I went in expecting to not be in the place I feared to be when I jumped into Brayden’s work – the place of being the odd ball out.

There’s some lovely writing here. Some great scenes. I really felt like I (a) came to know the characters; (b) came to know the area (Wales). It’s a nice lovely little story, eh? I admit that, it is. I just . . . it just didn’t hit me right, I guess. There was a mixture of me giggling, sometimes sounds louder than giggling, then other times of me whimpering with a mix of either boredom or . . . frustration. I’m sure Dai is quite lovely and all, but he annoyed me greatly. He got on my last nerve, he did. Poppy, the main character and point of view, is quite lovely. Even just being in the same room near her would almost guarantee happiness for all, even me. Yet, her somewhat dreamy state, her somewhat inability to move past her kind of passive state frustrated me.

She, Poppy, had several things that she was annoyed about in regards to her friend, former, who poofed on her unexpectedly. That horrible little scene that occurred in school when both were 16 (whereupon Rosalyn said some very nasty things to Poppy). The part wherein she, again Poppy, was pissed because Rosalyn never told anyone that she was a lesbian; and fancied Poppy. Except she, here Rosie, had. She had told Poppy. Course Poppy was drunk at the time, so that really shouldn’t count; but most importantly? The part where Poppy is pissed at Rosie for not telling her this deep dark secret when . . . Poppy never said anything like that to Rosie. Hypocrite much? Admittedly, that horrible scene in school is hard to move past, though it has been 15 or 16 years (I think 15 may or may not have been mentioned, though it has been 16, since both were 16 at the time, and both are 32 now).

Bah. I just interrupted myself by a thought of something else that annoyed me – it is something I’ve seen here and there, the part where ‘everything’ would become clear if people just bloody talked to each other, but, while one is in the process of opening up, the other says something along the lines of ‘you don’t have to say anything’ or, at the very least, something that shuts the other down. I mean, I get it. Lesbian fiction tends to involve people who circle each other for 90 to 98 percent of the book before they finally ‘find each other’. That circling for that much time was even natural for a book like this . . . except for the part wherein Poppy shut Rosalyn up.

Not an exact quote.

Poppy: Oh, I’ve been dying to know forever and more; I’ve even, just the other day, had a conversation with various people, including Rosalyn's father about ‘what happened, why Rosalyn changed’ . . .

Rosalyn: I need to tell you what happp…

Poppy: Oh no! You mustn’t, it’s such a great moment we are having. Don’t ruin it.

For fuck sake. And the million and one times people Poppy should know, see we are seeing things through her eyes so I know she has to know, that some people around her, the locals, are (1) corrupt; (2) a little nasty at times; yet she just can’t get herself to believe. Especially when Rosalyn is the one to bring certain things to her eyes (I’d randomly like to inject another ‘fuck you Dai’ to Dai here – somewhere along the line I kind of liked the guy, he stood up for Poppy when her clothing was stolen; he stood up for her when others in the school started to ignore her; but . . . the way he acted, the ‘ooh, no, that wasn’t really that bad really, when that nasty misogynistic person stole your clothing’; and how he chased the guy but never actually returned – made me think he actually was in on it somehow (both for not returning, and for constantly sticking up for the dweeb who took her clothing); my brain just dribbled out my ears so I’ll move on).

I liked most of the people injected into this story. Pip, Poppy, etc. I do not know why I had trouble with this book. But I did. Sorry about that.

July 6 2016

[viralhottopics]

The Definitive Ranking Of Reese Witherspoon’s 10 Best Movies

In honor of the glory that was , we need to just take a moment to appreciate the queen that is Reese Witherspoon. You may be asking, like, wait, is Reese even a betch? She seems kind of nice girl-ish to me. But while Reese may be super nice, she’s no basic nice girl. She gave us so she’s grandfathereder grandmothered?in to the group. Kind of like how Rachel McAdams seems like she is mostly a narc in real life but she played Regina George so she is automatically betchy forever. It’s like, a betchiness lifetime acheivement award or something. Reese’s contributions to the genre just cannot be ignored. So, in honor of all of the acheivements Reese has made to amplify the voices of betches everywhere (not that we really need it but whatever) we’ve conveniently ranked her best work.

What, like it’s hard?

10. ‘Hot Pursuit’

You probably forgot that this movie even exists or just had it really confused with another female buddy-cop movie like or that one with Melissa McCarthy and the guy from . But this is an actual movie starring Reese Witherspoon and Sophia Vergara and it came out in 2015. Let’s just say, the reviews were not great. It scored a whopping 7 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Not your best work, girl. 

9. ‘Pleasantville’

Tobey Maguire plays Reese’s weird brother who is obsessed with a TV show from the 50s, so much so that he gets them both trapped in the black-and-white world of the show. Tobey’s character was definitely one of those Make America Great Again types who, when actually sent back in time, realized that despite being straight white male, the 1950s fucking sucked. Maybe we can do this for the Trump supporters?? Somebody get to work on this. Anyway, Reese played Tobey’s slutty sister who fucked shit up by opening these 1950s dudes’ eyes to the wonders of sex. But then in some Freaky Friday-esque twist, Tobey ends up realizing modern times are better and Reese realizes she’d rather be stuck in the 50s. was an enjoyable movie and I’ve seen it like six times with my family, so it’s not Reese’s worst movie, but her character actually does a reverse transformation from a betch into a nice girl which I do not appreciate in any way. Ninth place.

8. ‘Election’

Reese stars as the iconic Tracey Flick who, though she was a dork, was kind of a ruthless betch who stopped at nothing to achieve her goal of becoming student body president. It’s basically 90s movie gold. That hot-ish guy from the movies is in it too. Anyway, Tracey is so driven and empowered that she drives one of her teachers literally insane, a sentence that could also describe my high school experience. Reese might be annoying AF in this movie, but in true betch fashion, she gets her way in the end. Still, I don’t think anybody saw this movie, and I had to Google it to make sure this wasn’t the one where Will Ferrell and Zack Galifinakis are running for political office against each other, which says a lot about the lasting power of the film IMO.

7. ‘Wild’

Sure,  is a movie about hiking, which I mean, gross, but anyway, it’s still watchable. And it was maybe nominated for an Oscar, unless I’m just making that up? Based on Cheryl Strayed’s book of the same name, we follow Reese on the mission of an independent-woman-who-don’t-need-no-man hiking the Pacific Coast Trail. And now I’m getting PTSD flashbacks, ugh. Where this movie beats out Julia Roberts’ self-indulgent pasta-fest, though, is that Reese’s character swears a lot and ends up throwing a pair of ugly boots off a cliff. I mean, if I was forced to hike for more than three minutes I would do the exact same thing. Don’t put me down for hiking, I’d legit rather be eaten by a bear. 

6. ‘This Means War’

Was this her best work? Of course not, but I had to include it on the list because what isn’t betchy about two really fucking hot CIA agents fighting over you? Especially if one of those dudes is Chris Pine. I mean, really. Also, Chelsea Handler played her best friend in this movie. Every betch should have Chelsea Handler as a best friend. Not a great film, but something you could definitely watch on a hungover Sunday morning, meaning it passes the Betchdel test. 

5. ‘American Psycho’

Did you forget Reese is in this movie? Yeah, probs. DW about it, Reese probably forgot she was in this movie, too. She has a minor role as one of Patrick Bateman’s posh Manhattanite girlfriends, which we obviously connect with on a personal level. Spoiler alert, she doesn’t get murdered in the movieanother plus. In fact, I think she might be in maybe two scenes. Nonetheless, has had kind of a resurgence latelypossibly because of Scott Disick’s physical and mental resemblance to Patrick Bateman, or the fact that the title can also serve as a two-word biography of our current presidentso this seems like a good time to mention that Reese was not only in it, but seemed like a pretty decent match for Christian Bale in that role.

4. ‘Walk The Line’

The role of June Carter earned Reese an Oscar. That’s right, her portrayal of Elle Woods wasn’t the role that won her the hardware. Shame. Anyway, props to her for winning an award and getting to hang out with Joaquin Phoenix before he got all weird. Even as a brunette, we can still get behind her being the apple of a fake Johnny Cash’s eye. Like, also, of course she can sing. Because Reese Witherspoon is basically perfect, and why would you think otherwise?

3. ‘Cruel Intentions’

This was probably one of the first rated R movies you wanted to see. Sure, you could watch an edited version on TV, but it really leaves out some of the good stuff, including the insane amount of swearing these supposed high schoolers do. If you didn’t think Ryan Phillipe was hot as shit in this movie, who even are you? He was the king of fuckboys, but still hot. Aparently Reese thought he was alright too because they ended up getting married. Also, that kiss between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair was iconic. So yeah, even though Reese is kind of the designated “nice girl” of this movie, Reese  to selflessly assume that role so that all of SMG’s betchiness could be truly appreciated. It’s like how only once you know darkness can you truly appreciate the light, or some shit. 

2. ‘Sweet Home Alabama’

Once again, Reese finds herself in a love triangle between two really hot dudes, one of which is McDreamy himself. I recently watched this movie because it was on, and let me just tell you, the plot holes are pretty glaringbut, for some reason, it’s still good. Reese plays an up-and-coming fashion designer in New York City (because that’s an easy enough job to get) who gets engaged and is forced to go back to her hometown in Alabama to finalize a divorce with her high school BF and explain to her family why she hasn’t been answering any of their calls for a decade. But, plot twist, her family still loves her and her ex husband has become both hot and wealthy. Then Reese is faced with the classic dilemma: Can a woman be hot, rich, and southern all at once? (SPOILER ALERT: she can).

1. ‘Legally Blonde’

This is in the betch cannon of classic films so is it even any fucking surprise that this is Reese’s best work? Let’s pretend like all of those shitty sequels didn’t exist so we can just focus on the real story of Bruiser and Elle Woods. In case you forgot, they’re both gemini vegetarians and probably the two betchiest to ever attend Harvard. Who among us hasn’t been motivated to do something crazy after a breakup? Given, going to law school isn’t necessarily as self-destructive as chopping all your hair off, but still. This movie is responsible for so many amazing lines that can be quoted in almost all curcumstances that it’s difficult to even pick just one, and there is no way Elle wasn’t directly responsible for Harvard being flooded with scented resume and poolside video applications. Like I said, it’s hard to nail down just one moment from this movie to leave you with. The bend and snap? The playboy bunny Gloria Steinem costume? The moment when she saves Paulette’s dog using legal jargon? No. Instead i’ll leave you with one of the film’s most iconic lines, which will be used as an example of rock solid logic for years to come:

Read more: http://betches.co/2nXPGsZ

from The Definitive Ranking Of Reese Witherspoon’s 10 Best Movies