#just haven't really liked anything i've written in the last like six months which is really depressing tbh

[that-was-anticlimactic]

something's in the air, i feel the heat

“Do you trust me?”

And how could Cole say no to that? Did he trust Kai? He trusted Kai more than he trusted himself. He trusted Kai with his life. If he fell, he knew Kai would be there to catch him.

So, Cole took his shirt off, tossing it on the ground beside him, then moved so his back was to Kai. “Always.”

Nothing happened for a minute. Cole stood there, neck and shoulders aching and twitching. He wondered, briefly, if Kai was just trying to get him shirtless (it wouldn’t be the first time), and really, he was not in the mood for that. Not when his body wanted to hurt him.

But then a pair of warm hands—Kai’s hands, he would recognize those oddly soft callused and scarred palms anywhere—landed on his back.

[or, cole's experiencing a lot of pain thanks tp tourette's and kai gives him a heated massage]

🔥2,295 words | cole-centric, lavashipping🔥

happy tourette's awareness month!!!

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thank you @roomwithanopenfire, @rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @nausikaaa, @larkral,

@hushed-chorus, @alexalexinii, @monbons, @whatevertheweather, @run-for-chamo-miles,

@artsyunderstudy, @mooncello, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @forabeatofadrum, and @aristocratic-otter for the tags over the past few weeks. I've had a crazy month (90% in crazy a good way) and too frazzled to come up with my own WIP posts, but have enjoyed reading yours and being included.

Here are six ten moody little sentence from Chapter 11 of Basil Pitch's Diary. (In case you missed it, I posted Ch. 10, September, a few weeks ago, then fled the country.) Baz is hanging in in Niall and Dev's room:

The last time I was here with Niall, he’d told me to hold out for more than ear scritches and the occasional carrot. Now we sat on his bed with a chessboard between us. “Baz,” Niall said quietly. “What are you doing?”  “Beating you.” I moved my queen to menace his remaining bishop. “With Snow, I mean.” Niall did that thing where the rook and king hop around, which shouldn’t be allowed, and I realized he’d won. Again. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, there is a me who grew up with someone to play against, demolishing a Niall who never went to math camp.

Below the cut: musing, a posting plan, and more tags.

Musing: I've actually written a ton since the last chapter even though I've been AWOL, but for a while no matter what I wrote, Baz felt out of character. I'd write a scene, like it, and then think "but why is he doing this?" Then I'd rewrite with Baz behaving completely differently, and that also felt OOC.

I worried that I'd somehow doomed myself with inconsistent characterization, but then I figured it out: Baz at this point is deeply inconsistent. He presents himself to the world one way, he tells the reader / himself that he's something else, and deep down he's a secret third thing. And sometimes his masks slip.

To some extent this is every unreliable narrator. But boyo has REALLY tangled himself up at this point. Something's gotta give. Until it does--which it will, soon--I have to be very clear in my mind, even if Baz isn't, about which Baz is driving the Baz at any given moment.

A lot of you can do that sort of thing intuitively. I can't. So I've been building this out (showing you just the headers b/c spoilers):

This might stultify some (most?) of you. For me, though, it's freeing. When my brain isn't trying to keep track of everything, my imagination can unfurl.

"'Everything'?" you ask. "This isn't that plotty a fic." It's not, but it's already 2.5x longer than anything else I've written, which means developing skills I haven't needed before. Anyway, my BPD chart and I are having fun. We're very happy together.

Posting Plan

I pushed myself to get Ch. 10 up before leaving home for three weeks, because Ch. 9 had ended on such a wretched note. While I was happy to have gotten it up, I didn't love the self-imposed time crunch (though betas @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, and @thewholelemon were fuckin' heroes). Feeling rushed had me stressing and second-guessing choices that were probably fine.

My plan now is to pause updates until I have at least a very rough first draft of the final chapter, then post it all at regular intervals. I know a longish pause means some folks who'd been reading along will wait until it's complete, if they return at all. To those folks--sorry, and I get it, and thank you for reading in the first place, and I love you.

Tags and shy waves to @brendughh  @beastmonstertitan  @carryonsimoncarryonbaz  @carryonmylovelies  @creepyspice

@comesitintheclover @cows4247 @confused-bi-queer @artsyunderstudy@chen-chen-chen-again-chen

@chronicallyhomoerotic @drowninginships @dragoneggos @excalisbury @emeryhall

@erzbethluna @ebbpettier @fight-surrender @fatalfangirl @gay-at-ikea

@fiend-for-culture @forabeatofadrum @foolofabookwyrm-activated @arthurkko @j-nipper-95

@gekkoinapeartree @goblindad-emoshit @henreyettah @hertragedyconnoisseur @hushed-chorus

@icarus-n-flames @ineffable-grimm-pitch @ic3-que3n @ionlydrinkhotwater @iamamythologicalcreature

 @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @shrekgogurt @im-gettingby @youarenevertooold

@monbons @mooncello @raenestee @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @messofthejess

[greyias]

I really don’t want swtor to shut down it’s the only eu thing that’s active we have left

I knew these asks were going to start coming in.

So for those who haven't heard, it was reported, and then later confirmed by Keith Kanneg on the forums, that EA is "selling" SWTOR to another developer, Broadsword. For those who want to read the article discussing it, you can read here: https://www.ign.com/articles/star-wars-the-old-republic-development-third-party-bioware

TL;DR -- It's not shutting down. The servers are going to stay active for a while

There's a few points to note here:

If I understand things correctly, EA actually owns Broadsword. So EA is in fact not actually offloading a property, I think what's actually happening is BioWare Austin itself is being divvied out and would not be surprised to see if that branch is shut down

At least half of the SWTOR dev team is part of this move, so the key things to keep an eye on is which members of the dev team are moving. If the narrative staff is kept intact, then we have more story ahead of us beyond what's been written, and they've confirmed we're getting 7.3, 7.3.1, and 7.4. It's important to note that their production timeline is generally a year out from things being written, so story-wise, if they have narrative staff, we'll likely still have some story drops ahead of us

SWTOR is profitable (it hit over $1 billion in profit several years ago), and I will admit I don't have the best understanding of video game finances, but my impresion it was far into the black and maybe not an enromous cash cow, but a decent consistent revenue stream. EA is a publisher that is about profits, so as long as the game is profitable, even if there's not new story drops, the game will stay online

Disney has seemingly taken a recent interest in SWTOR after mostly ignoring it after its acquisition of Star Wars, even going so far as to finally acknowledge the general KOTOR/SWTOR era in their presentations last year at Celebration. Does this ultimately mean anything? I don't know, but SWTOR is one of the longest running current properties with a stable player base. They're just as interested in profit as EA. Probably another indicator that the game will keep running for a while.

Other properties that Broadsword operates, such as Dark Age of Camelot and Ultima Online, are old games. Ultima Online was released in 1997, and the servers are still active. So like, I think regardless of what happens in regards of the story, we're not losing the ability to log in and play the game

Long term subscriptions - I remember reading, and forgive me, because I've long forgotten the source, that a key indicator if the servers are going offline is to also keep an eye on the six-month subscription option. Basically, if suddenly the only option for subs goes down to one month, that's when to worry about being able to actually play the game.

This is probably not about SWTOR, but BioWare as a whole. It seems there's a leadership issue at the main Alberta office that's causing issues. This is likely an Anthem issue all over again, but Anthem this time happens to be the Mass Effect and Dragon Age properties. Unfortunately, BioWare Austin looks like it's going to suffer the consequences of that, even though they've been running a tight ship overall compared to the rest of the branches. I feel for them. This sucks.

Now I'm not an oracle, I have no idea if this is ultimately a good or bad thing for the game itself. There's a lot of evidence for both sides of the coin, so right now the best thing is to wait and see. We at least have the promise of the next two patches. Let's focus on enjoying that, and celebrating what we love about our silly space game.

If you love the game, keep playing it. Spend money on it, and keep it profitable and it will stay around. Be kind and supportive of the devs, who regardless of how this shakes out, are going through a major transition. But immediately decrying an active game's death and going into doom and gloom is not going to help things.

Will we get more story beyond 7.4? I do not know one way or the other. I hope we do, but it's hard to say for certain on that front. But I do believe we'll still have our toons and be able to replay all of the released content for quite a while to come. Again, for now I'm just going to enjoy my favorite game, and support it as long as I have it. Even if this inevitably means it's going to change.

[spicysix]

WIP Focus

okkieeee so last year i did this little game a couple of times, where i'd make a poll with my WIPs and the most voted one would be my main focus until i could finish writing it

i've been having a very hard writing block the last months, since my obsession with ST dialed down, but i still have WIPs i'd really really like to finish. and lately i've been reading more, and that inspired me so i've actually came up with MORE fic ideas and it's been driving me crazy cause i can't focus on one to finish writing

so once again i'm here begging for your help

the fics in the poll are in order of which one i wrote most for so far and they're all planned to be one shots. under the cut you can find more info about each fic. you can reblog for a wider range!

birds of a feather

based on billie eilish's new song of same name, a soulmate!AU where you can feel pain when your soulmate gets hurt. robin had her theories, but they're only confirmed when she's stuck on the russion lab under the mall - steve harrington is her soulmate. how does she deal with that little bit of a character study on robin, will probably not be too long and won't stretch out further after the events of s3

illinoise

based on sufjan steven's song "The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!", i'm not actually sure exactly what i wanna do with this. i have two versions of this fic that i started, but the main thing is that it's through steve's POV as the Party grows and moves out and does things with their lives, but he and eddie grow a friendship through the years but eventually eddie also moves out and that's how steve realizes how he felt - it was more than friendship for him, he was in love. oblivious baby. again, i'm not so sure about this one, it's just that this song has touched me so deeply i need to write something for it

punk!steve

i talked a bunch about it here MANY months ago, but basically, spicy six moves out to a city with a big punk scene, jonathan introduces that scene to steve who finds a way to express his emotions through that music and the concerts and the culture as a whole, but without an extreme change of visuals. fic is told through eddie's POV, seeing steve finding comfort and finding himself in this new subculture, changing himself so subtly but also so obviously, and kinda falling in love in the proccess. i'm still not sure if anything's gonna happen between them in this fic, or if it's a pre-relationship, or if it's gonna be a throuple thing [eddie x steve x jonathan] but the ship is not the focus here

trains

based on song of the same name by porcupine tree, haven't written a single word for it yet but i really want to. i'm thinking cousins chrissy & steve who reunite every summer when chrissy spends it at steve's home, and robin is steve's bff of course so that's how they meet. i'm thinking robin's POV every summer waiting for chrissy to arive, and as they grow older they fall in love

[nevertheless-moving]

Hi! I love your writing snippets - have you thought about posting them on ao3

Thank you!! Yes, I have thought about it, for sure! I'm nevertheless_turtle on ao3.

(I have... six fics, all of them star wars, half of them unfinished, last one updated in January 2022. Unless someone decides to put a million dollars in my kofi jar, this is for Fun, so unfortunately once the hyperfixation fades...it fades*.

:( star wars back and forth tumblr fics with star wars mutuals my beloved... murderbot discord i loved collaborative storytelling with ya'll and i miss you...i don't know how to make friends on the internet i just talk blorbos in situations and my blorbos drift over time... hello stormlight archive fandom)

! anyone want to talk about putting my type of blorbo, which when i check my notes is a pathetic wet person who is very good at killing but somewhat tries to avoid it, if you want to talk putting someone like that in a Situation, Hey! i may or may not be your person. this ask is really getting away from me i might be tired from walking a bunch of miles today...

*i do historically cycle back around to fandoms! i was lurking on tumblr for over a decade before i posted anything and there was definitely a cyclical nature to it! i consistently knit furiously for 3 months and then take a 4 year break! star wars fics wait for me!

aNYWAY writing fic directly into Tumblr adn/or Discord or if i don't have internet connection then a fuckin shitty notes app appears to be the Key for me?? like i tried fic writing before that in Word or Docs and it just didn't go?? idk! I think it's like the comic sans trick.

wait i still haven't answered the question.

you know, the thing is, when i write a snippet at the end of 5 paragraphs of background meta for an au, or a literal bullet point list, i'm not really sure how to post that to ao3. can you post chatfic and bullet points to ao3? it feels weird? idk. real question for the crowd in the midst of an extremely incoherent ask answer. let me know what you think!

me to myself: the question. scroll back up. what was the question. myself to me: that was answering the question! somewhat!

Right now a bunch of fic writing is churning around and out of brain, and circumstances have aligned for better or worse such that i have time and mental energy and ideas to write. we'll see how it goes. Once I get a bit more posted on tumblr i'll probably put things together and either make seperate works for different aus, or a masterwork of different tumblr aus that i don't think i'll develop further. i may turn some of those bulletpoint lists into cleaner fics for posting, making my earlier point moot.

some of my aus i already have a bunch written on my phone over meals or stopped in the middle of a side walk or on bus and train rides (why would an ELEVEN HOUR TRAIN RIDE not have an outlet to charge my laptop??). so. if i clean that stuff up ill probably post it to tumblr, then immediately notice the spelling mistakes, edit, then post to ao3.

a perfect system.

for my most recent snippet, well, that's actually self contained (not an au that requires 6 paragraphs of background to understand the snippet) and not a chat fic, so i WAS thinking i would just post it to ao3 soonish. i asked in the tags if anyone felt like betaing for ao3, i am wildly but unquestioningly assuming that the sorta individual who would want to beta a fic for me are reading the tags on my tumblr fic post. if anyone likes betaing stormlight or is interested in betaing a specific au/fic idea i've mentioned, hit me up.

TLDR above, tumblr is a for fun rough draft looser writing form place for me. ao3 feels like its asking for a bit more polish and structure. i have writing bees in my brain right now so i'm slightly more focused on that then editing, but if anyone feels like doing some form of beta, reach out and we can chat about it. regardless, i will clean up at least some of my recent snippets and post to ao3 eventually.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

20 questions for fic writers

The impossibly lovely @mihrsuri tagged me in this a couple of weeks ago, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get round to it - but I find myself in need of distraction, just a little bit, as Last Cat Standing is in the veterinary hospital getting his radioactive iodine treatment for his thyroid, and we can't have him back for maybe ten days as he's going to be somewhat radioactive for a little while; I'm sure he's going to be fine (this is the treatment described to me by the treating vet as both 'the gold standard' and 'magical', in that it's effective in 99.5% of cases, and in the 0.5% it isn't, they just give it another go and then it's effective), but we haven't had an entirely cat-free house for this long in 20 years, and I'm feeling a bit weird about it. Also I'm procrastinating finishing off an essay plan (I'd rather just write the damn essay but no, we have to submit a plan for tutor feedback to make sure we're on the right lines, and as you all know by now, that's really not how I work XD )

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 362 (plus another 76 on the other account for the fandom that does not speak its name...)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 1,491,388 (good grief; nearly 1.5 million?! and if you add in the 270,606 on the other account, that's 1,761,994 O.O )

3. What fandoms do you write for? Tolkien (chiefly the Hobbit movies, and LotR, a mix of movie and book-'verse); King Arthur (2004); Fisherman's Friends (fandom of one); The Alienist (TV; occasionally); Marvel (occasionally, chiefly bits of the MCU and X-Men comics/Evolution); Top Gun (here and there) - and a bewildering number of others...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? My Heart Is An Empty Vessel (621); Shape Up (422); Safe (414); Not Alone (413); The Unworn Jumpers of Molly Weasley (343)

This is bewildering but also a fine illustration of the vagaries of AO3 and the absolute folly of measuring anything by the amount of kudos a fic has: Empty Vessel is three and a half years old, took two years to post and has 115 chapters, so was at the top of the tag many many times over those two years. Shape Up and Safe were written and posted not long after Top Gun: Maverick came out (I don't know how busy the tag still is, but it was very busy when the film came out so the fics in that fandom got a lot of interaction because a lot of people were there looking for fics) and are both one-shots. Not Alone is also a one-shot (for X-Men: Evolution) and has been up on AO3 for nearly twelve years (and has had a bit of a boost with the release of X-Men '97). And Unworn Jumpers (on which I really ought to put some sort of disclaimer, along with the small handful of other ancient HP fics I've got up there) is a seasonal one-shot that's been up for over ten years and tends to get a bit of a boost every December. So *shrugs* go figure. And if anyone wants to help the only HP fic in the top five not be in the top five any more, Come Home is only 36 behind it, and it is fluffy and cute and has Elrohir persuading Maglor to come to Imladris for Midwinter somewhat in the guise of the Elfling he hasn't been for a very long time... :D

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. Sometimes it takes me a while (oh god six months, but I got up to speed with them all and now I'm trying to make sure I do it within a week) as I am a champion procrastinator but I feel it's important for me to say thank you. And sometimes squee a bit. :D And sometimes it makes me a new friend, which is extra-awesome.

I have a few very very old comments on the stuff I posted before 2020 which I never did get round to answering, which I feel bad about, but I also feel like it would be weird to go back and answer them now...I dunno, what do you guys think?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings very often, but The Last Watch (in which Bard dies) is really sad, and Never Forgotten and See This Storm Through (in which Sigrid and Thranduil comfort each other after the funeral, and Legolas comes home to Dale to look after his father and his family and grieve with them, respectively) are almost as sad although they both end with a small amount of hope.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Ah, most of my fics end happily :D I'm far too tired for anything but, most of the time, these days. But let's face it, My Heart Is An Empty Vessel ends with a coronation and a wedding (spoiler alert! XD ) so let's go for that one.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I am lucky; the closest I've had was some anon complaining about Empty-Handed being a spoiler for the then-unposted Empty Vessel although the events it 'spoiled' were inevitable in the context of a mortal-immortal relationship, and someone whingeing in a bookmark comment that Thorin and Bilbo don't even talk until the end of Mr Underhill's Finest Seafood Specialities, thus completely missing the point of the fic (and the 'past' after the pairing tag) - it wasn't about them - which made me chuckle as much as the rudeness annoyed me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sometimes. I have phases when I feel like it, and (much longer) phases when I don't. It's generally only fairly tame and euphemistic (with the single and solitary exception of that one hanahaki fic about the twins the premise for which, although not the smut, came to me in a dream) and probably not all that imaginative since, as the acest of aces, the whole idea completely bewilders me XD

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not unless you count various different parts of the Tolkien legendarium. My brain just doesn't work that way.

11. (there doesn't seem to be a question 11; I feel like this might be one of those Tumblr traditions, as I've definitely done question memes on here before that have been lacking in a question 11...)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have! I am deeply honoured that my KA fic Anniversaries was translated into Russian by Elenabu some years ago, and It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like... appears on Lofter in Mandarin, translated by AntheaXi. There were a couple of other Russian translations of some of my very old stories, but that was 15 or 20 years ago and I can't actually remember which or where.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have! A long long time ago, the fic that eventually became the original novel that is Two of a Kind, the tale of Hal and Jack, was a co-production, and I really enjoy bouncing ideas back and forth - and of course, there is the Tudors OT3-'verse fandom stuff that @mihrsuri and I have been pinging to and fro just recently, which is also hugely enjoyable. :D :D :D

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Oh, too many to name! Gawain/Galahad from KA2004, the bi widower dads, Legolas/Imrahil, Elladan/Elrohir, Erestor/Glorfindel, Sigrid/Tauriel, to name but a few.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I am determined to finish All I Want Is You. I am also determined to finish part whatever it is now of It's Always Been You, although that's been on the back burner for a long long time. There's one WIP on the other account which I'm also determined to finish although who knows if I'll ever get there. I'm not one for saying never, though. I was out of Tolkien fandom for 16 years, and after the fandom that does not speak its name fizzled out, I genuinely thought I'd never write again. And yet...here I am.

16. What are your writing strengths? Ooooh, I dunno. Spelling, punctuation and grammar, dialogue, leavening the serious romantic stuff with a bit of humour, kindness and love for the characters and settings, happy endings and quite a lot of fluff. :D

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. XD Can't plot to save my life.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Only when necessary for character reasons, and always provide a translation. Otherwise you're shutting out readers who don't understand (unless it's not important that they actually understand precisely what's being said as long as they get the gist).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Knowingly? X-Men (comics), and that fic is here, although I posted it ten-odd years after first posting it to ff.net.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? All of them. I cannot possibly choose.

Thank you so much for the tag, lovely! Entirely no-obligation tags go to @lemurious, @verecunda, @writerman, @scary-grace, @seagull-energy, @herawell, @thenookienostradamus, @sallysavestheday, @myeaglesong, @palavapeite, @bigneonglitter, @bishkebab, @peonybroadbeltofbuckland, @redeemer46, @spiced-wine-fic and anyone else who wants to do this - if you see this and fancy it, please consider yourself well and truly tagged!

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week in Review XIII

Was it really Halloween this week? Because it feels like it happened like six months ago - that's how long this week has felt for me 🎃

It could also be because I finished my October prompts and now I'm wondering what I'm supposed to do now I don't have a daily deadline. Well, I know what I need to do (I hear you, Frankie) - I just can't seem to bring myself to sit down and write it right now. But luckily I've been given some great advice from some wonderful people and I hope to start posting it before the month is out!

I'm also trying to figure out how to get back into my reading - my TBR list has been all over the place since last month was nearly impossible to get much read. So going to slowly get back into the pace of reading a reblogging - which also includes all the lovely comments I received but haven't been able to get back to yet! 💕

But on with the 'condensed' Sunday Week in Review...

T R U L Y   U P D A T E S . . .

oct' x 29 - stormy days (sequins!joel x f!reader)

oct' x 30 - seance (tim rockford x reader)

oct' x 30 - seance (chiffon!dieter x ofc!bryony)

oct' x 31 - trick or treat (marcus pike x reader)

strings part IV (series complete) (joel miller x reader)

W H A T   I   R E A D . . .

Are You on Mute? (Benny Miller) by @rhoorl Now Benny Miller is not my type, but with the way Jess writes him? He's slowly worked his way into my rotation of reads! This is a spicey read that will have you rethinking Zoom meetings at home 🫠

Broadcasting Live Tonight (Dieter) by @morallyinept This was just *chefs kiss* a delightful steamy read written on the back of Pedro's own appearance on SNL the other week. The tension between the reader and Dieter is palpable and the payoff is 🙌, smut be smutting here. Not spoiling anything, but I hope we get a part two!

A Month of Sundays (Various) by @gnpwdrnwhiskey My parallel play partner in a month of writing daily prompts, Lellen, completed her Month of Sundays and if you haven't checked them out you should! She totally knocked it out of the park and managed to fit so much into six lines a piece!

Working Title (Dieter) by @rhoorl Jess is back with another installment that does not disappoint! We've got some cameos, we've got some Jurassic Park references, we've got a wet-haired Dieter and sound the alarm, we've got some 18+ action with Belle and Dieter that I think about at least once a day because it was that hot 🥵

Steep Is the Mountain (Tim) by @sin-djarin This fic is still playing on a constant loop in my head since I read it the other day. Becca's coming home series is amazing (go read them all) and this is another excellent addition to it with our Detective Tim Rockford.

Headshots (Marcus) by @secretelephanttattoo This is a dreamy update to our reader and Marcus finding them in Ireland. I'm not going to spoil anything, but El makes a strong case for the canon behind Marcus' leather jacket!

Fall Apart Again (Joel) by @wildemaven Heidi treated us to an interlude to this series with a letter to Joel from Eve and much like the series, pulls at the heartstrings. It's a truly beautiful story and this interlude just adds another layer to the whole thing and I'm still thinking about it the day after.

Hope everyone has had a great week and enjoying their Sunday so far!

Here's to the week ahead! 💕

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic 😅: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[ari-writes-things]

Writer Questionnaire!

hi, thank you for the open tag @theverumproject!

How long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

Only for like a month.

What led you to create it?

I've recently been trying to find a community of writers since few of my friends are into writing.

What's your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

I love the way people are so passionate about so many different things!

What's one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I can be just a little bit shy sometimes about making new friends. When I don't know people super well (or honestly even when I do) I get really nervous about being the first one to start a conversation. Even if I don't initiate interactions with you, know that I want to chat; I'm just a little nervous.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

"Write with me" type stuff or just little snippets from your writing that people thought were bangers.

Which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

I have only one WIP that I've touched for the last six months and it is unnamed, but it's my queer romance novel!

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

I was talking with my friends about how I've never actually written any queer fiction despite being queer myself and doing a lot of writing. I also have been super into Y/A novels, especially the poetic sounding ones about identity and familial relationships so that really inspired my current work.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Truly, anywhere from one to five hours a day?

When someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Realistic fiction.

Name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like

Ema Aguilar: She's from an old WIP with fantasy elements. Ema is the only character I've thought up to have wings and she's one of the youngest characters in the story (12). The story takes place in pretty much a war/apocalypse situation (it's complicated) and Ema is hiding out with a group of older kids. I have this scene (brief suicide tw) I've never gotten to, because I've never actually written her on paper, where Ema is caught throwing herself off the edge of a cliff over and over before catching herself with her wings and flying back up. In my mind, she's trying to kill herself but is too scared to follow through with it because her big issue is that she becomes paralysed by her own fear.

Who's the most unhinged?

Blair. I think they have committed crimes. Not many that I've officially written down, but they have totally committed crimes.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Riley. She's the only character I've ever written with neurodivergence in mind and I love the way I describe her thoughts. She's basically me, just having grown up under different circumstances.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Yeah, sometimes..

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

I personally feel like I have a lot of control over my characters, but purely because I storyboard before I write so I know where I'm going and don't get lost. The only way I can work on long form projects is with a storyboard to guide me. My characters do "write themselves" sometimes in that the little things I haven't planned give them so much more flavour and personality, but I haven't ever felt like they've gotten away from me.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

Oh my gosh, do I ever! YES YES YES!! If you see this, ask me questions please! Send me asks or replies or reblogs!! I wanna talk about my little brain children so much!

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I see if they post at all about their original works mostly. I don't really follow blogs that only post actual excerpts, poems, or short stories, though. I don't really follow for the WIPs of other writers, but for their thoughts!

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I get nervous so no, not often, but I do sometimes!

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Unfortunately, I don't know their characters well enough to :(

Tagging @cb-writes-stuff, @zariahthewitch, and anyone who wants to do this too!

[subliminalbo]

Since I'm on the most regular writing schedule that I've had in like eight years, I thought it would be fun to talk a bit about my writing process. I've always been a bit more chaotic in the way I approach writing, especially when it comes to planning. I'm just not a very organized person no matter how hard I try.

Specifically for the blog, I have two types of stories that I write. The longer form stuff come with chapters and titles and arcs and often go well over two thousand words. I have to think a lot more about those. Captions are quick and usually written on the fly as ideas come to me. They're more a necessity than anything else. Sometimes I'll get so locked in on writing a series that I'll disappear for months until its finished, so the captions are mainly to remind people that I still exist.

Series typically begin as captions. It's rare that I ever approach an idea with the intent to write several chapters about it. This was the case for A Kingdom for a Mistress, which started as a brief caption and quickly got out of hand. Sometimes I'll sit down to write a caption and realize that it's not going to be a breezy five hundred words.

Brevity hasn't always been a struggle for me, but looking back on my older work, it's my least favorite thing. For example, the next chapter of Assimilation is about a character who struggles with the transition to college life. There's a lot of character detail to explore there, but in my earlier effort (the original chapter was written in 2016), I was so eager to get to the mind control that I only dedicated a few sentences to her conflict. Whether you're reading mind control smut for the character detail or not, it's bad writing because it violates the rule of show, don't tell:

Six months had passed since Nina's assimilation. She graduated high school. [...] Though the college was only a few miles from home, it felt like she was a world away from her parents. Though Nina had been a quiet girl growing up, she found herself blooming into a social butterfly. School always came first, Nina would remind herself, but that didn't stop her from attending parties, dating boys, exploring her newfound sexuality.

Gross.

Anyway, what really sets series apart from captions is a focus on characters and a more deliberate pacing. I don't put myself on a word count, I don't rush myself to show the mind control. This is largely because I wrote a lot of stuff like that when I first started, and it got redundant really fast.

Once I know that a caption is going to be something bigger, I try to lay out a pathway for myself. I don't do a lot of outlining, but I will put some thoughts on a sticky note to reference in the future. Notes are huge for ideas. Just getting a quick elevator pitch down in writing, or bulleted plot points that I plan to hit, or even lines that I want to use.

Stickies are also useful for keeping track of characters. Betas has a larger cast than I've ever written about, so I took down notes on who plays who and minor details about those characters that is super useful to reference when you haven't written those characters in a year.

More recently, I've started taking notes on plot points, mapping out beat-for-beat what moments I want these stories to hit. Notes on Classified Information #2: The Sound look like this:

Probably the biggest thing about this pre-writing process, is that I rarely explore my first idea. I might put a thought down on a note and leave it be for an entire year before I go back to it. The first arc of Alphas, which I still haven't finished for the Tumblr, took me three years to write because I got stuck on the last two chapters. I knew how I wanted the story to end, but the events in the middle felt so clunky that I sat on it for years before going back. I'm still not happy with how that series developed and it's the reason I'm rewriting it from the start.

I have some stuff to say about captions and the development of Quick Hits, but I think I'll save that for another inside hypnoball. Mostly I wanted to talk about actual writer things like outlining and plotting.

[theskee]

today (day BEFORE yesterday as of posting, i started this but... uh. didn't finish it.) i ventured out to the local used book store to see if they carried calendars.

you see, my child just started school as of yesterday, today was their first full day of kindergarten and they are in the process of being evaluated for either a 504 Plan or an IEP and it's been stressful. i have been in fight or flight mode for i dunno. nine months now. the process of all of this was a nightmare but now i'm finally across what feels like the real starting line.

i had to get a lot of help from my friends to get through this whole situation and today... i decided to do something good for myself and try and reclaim the independence i gave up the last nearly six years when i decided to become a full time stay at home parent.

i have experienced so many interesting and life affirming things recently, from reconnecting with one of my dearest friends, to being corrected by the school social worker when i met him-- i said 'i don't work' and he emphatically and encouragingly said "outside the home" offering more value and credit than i am ever prone to offering myself.

today... was special.

i went in while my child was at school and perused the CD section to bring home some new fun soundtracks for the kiddo and then an employee approached me. he's an older gentleman, maybe early sixties or late fifties, a little stiff at first, but he asked if i needed any help.

i asked if they sold any calendars, and he said no but he thought they might still have some free ones hanging around and found one for me. it was very kind and i was like 'well thank you, just the CDs then.'

he saw one of my choices was the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack (my kiddo likes some country and is really into soundtracks right now and i personally love the soundtrack, it always reminds me of my late father, who was a big fan of the movie and had a massive crush on Clooney) and commented on how much he thought he didn't like country music until he started listening to older country.

myself, being from KY originally, and raised on good ol' bluegrass and a healthy dose of pro union, working-man's country, completely understand the distinction between the popularized modern country music we are most likely to hear, and and what came before that informed some of it. we got to talking about that, and the next thing i know we're talking about the importance of buying local, how much supporting small businesses is, and how hard it can be for a small business to compete with the likes of bezosmart.

i mentioned my favorite author, Jason Pargin, who encouraged his readers to buy from their local bookstores first and foremost and then i said as a writer, i hope to advocate that way if i can ever get published. this-- sparked a conversation in which he joyfully told me that he was finally getting a couple books he'd written published, one traditionally and one self published.

I congratulated him and expressed that I hope to do the same, that I've been writing since I was 12, told him about my long history with fanfiction, how I love writing but haven't managed to get myself to finish anything original in that time. And he gave me this look... it was so fond and kind.

He said, with just... reverence in his voice. "You've been writing since you were 12? You're a writer."

And I gotta say this man did more to heal my soul with that one statement than all my years of therapy.

[rosyjuly]

@kritischetheologie tagged me for the 20 questions for writers game, thank you c!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

twenty!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,628. it's kinda insane that i wrote 51k under just six months last year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently only writing for f1, but i've published works for star wars, peaky blinders, the old guard and batman. on another account that has been liquidated many years ago i had footy rpf and teen wolf fics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

carry each other (hal jordan/bruce wayne), worked the blade (seb/mick), to the finnish line (seb/charles/kimi), spoils of war (seb/mick) and a favour returned (seb/lewis).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do, unless it only says "please write more of this", because i don't have anything polite to reply. but i love getting replies from authors too, so only fair to return the favor. there are definitely times when i just re-read a bunch of comments and they can really help to lift my mood or feel better about my writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lmao that would be the prince au break up sex fic, someday to say out loud. making george ask alex to tell him he loves him even if it isn't true and ensuring that he can't and won't believe him... partly why it's hard for me to go back to writing prince au is because it was very easy for me to project my unmedicated depression onto george, and (thank god) i'm not in that place anymore.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmhh my star wars fic maybe? i'm not overly fond of happy endings, the best i deal out is a hopeful but kinda open ending. out of my f1 fic it's a favour returned, i guess -- there's some talk about longer term commitment and trying and failing to say that they like like each other, or consolation prize, where mick admits twice that he's been thinking about seb.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not in the classical sense i guess or not that i've seen.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

boy do i. i mostly write smut and use it as a catalyst to nudge a relationship to another level. i don't really get the what kind? question. what kinds are there? wholegrain?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

haven't written one yet, but i've been toying with the idea of an f1 and the expendables crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

if i had a nickel for every time someone pulled entire lines from a fic of mine and barely paraphrased them, i would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

on my old ao3 account, yes! i haven't been approached on the new one and i don't think i'd give permission now.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

prince au aka the myth of devotion with gabby @prettydangrotten. sorry to be sappy on main but galex truly one of the best things on the internet that's happened to me just for the friends i've made because of them :)))

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

all time? propably stiles/derek or eames/arthur from inception. also it was sterek that first got me to tumblr, back in like 2012 or something.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ugh right now it feels like i'll never finish anything again. but i have a long star wars wip that's like 75% done but i haven't touched for three years. there's a roc sebmick fic i started and i actually know how it should go from start to finish, but i've been struggling with writing this year, so, i don't know.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i've been told the internal struggle/tension that narrator is facing is pretty tight and i do agree :) i also think the porn i write is nicely physical and pretty hot.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

longfic. like. i wish i could do it -- i had a 54k wip on my old ao3 account -- but i don't have the energy or the commitment. this is also why i struggle with WTB and SOW -- i want to write more to both but i feel like they are snappy and valuable as they are and i'm worried i'll ruin that if i add more.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

english isn't my first langauge so all dialogue is in another language in fic for me. i'm not super fond of adding another language on top pf that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

teen wolf!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

spoils of war or prince au. prince au has probably the most of me and gabby is incredible and one of the best writers and kindest persons i know and i feel incredibly fortunate to have created something with her. spoils of war was a challenge on a lot of fronts but i'm proud of the storyline and it has some of the best lines i have ever written i think. and it got @antimonyandthyme and me very close :))

aaaand i'm gonna tag @prettydangrotten @des-iderate @grideon @antimonyandthyme and @husbono.

[innocence-wont-save-you]

[An overseer is ‘sitting’ next to the scavenger as they look at Innocence’s sleeping form.]

Hey bud, isn’t it kinda weird our friend is uh… still sleeping? Like, we should be moving out by now. I mean I know we’ve been waiting for like, six minutes, but it feels like a month! And yeah, I know you don’t understand me.

(OOC: Heyyyy so uh, sorry if it’s rude but I didn’t see a place to submit an ask on the website so I’m asking here. Is this blog ever going to be updated in the near future? If not, do you plan to still continue it or is like, irl stuff putting weight in your shoulders? I wanna join the disc and ask questions but stupid anxiety is making me not do it. If you’re still working on it or left the project, don’t feel pressured to continue, it would be selfish of me to ask that of you.

tl;dr: I kinda just want an update on the current situation Innocence Won’t Save You is in.)

OOC: YES HI HELLO I'M STILL ALIVE THANK YOU FOR ASKING ACTUALLY

Short answer: Yes there's. Shit going on in my life. Mostly school work; this has been one of my busiest quarters so far and I'm constantly swamped with work and haven't had the free time to really sit with IWSY and work out what I want/need to do.

Longer answer: Yes there is currently no way to submit on the website I am so sorry. When I said this would move off Tumblr I meant it and I was finding ways to do that, but I kept hitting roadblocks because I started learning web dev Solely for IWSY. Ultimately my progress on the javascript tutorial stalled (due to aforementioned busyness) and other people let me know that Neocities isn't... the best place to host comments locally? So that threw a wrench into the plans.

I've admittedly not written much for IWSY in the time since I announced we'd be migrating off Tumblr. In hindsight I kind of wish I'd waited a little, but I think this quarter would have done this to me regardless of if I'd wanted to migrate or not. However, I still want to work on IWSY. This project is NOT abandoned. I'm just very busy :'D in a good way though! After a bit of a rough spell, my life right now is, without exaggeration, the best it's ever been, and aside from just plain being busy, I'm also trying to enjoy being alive for once. Unfortunately it means things have been and will continue to be very, very slow here for the foreseeable future.

But I do have a small update. I gave up on trying to code comments locally, and instead found an open source commenting plugin called Isso that I'm hoping to install on the website. Actually doing so will require time I don't currently have since I. Uh. Don't know python. But if all goes well, I will have that set up at some point, and then I can get started on scene 14. I can't guarantee anything on that while this quarter is still going on unfortunately, but I will promise you all that once my summer break starts (which is in June since my school runs on a quarter system), I'll put more time and effort into this again.

If you'd like to help get the comments set up I would deeply appreciate it, but again I don't think I can see myself writing any long form creative fiction until I have the time to dedicate my mind to it, especially given what IWSY is. I'm really sorry about that, but I'm glad to hear that you're still interested in this story! So sorry about the radio silence, I really should have updated a few times since the last post I made, but thank you again for asking and reminding me to at least say something.

So TLDR, no the story isn't dead, I'm just hella busy and trying to appreciate life.

[i-luv-carl-grimes]

✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽:ﾟ･⋆｡✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽:ﾟ･⋆｡✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽:ﾟ･

Awkward Conversations

Emo boy x emo reader

(Pt.1) she/her pronoun's

✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽:ﾟ･⋆｡✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽:ﾟ･⋆｡✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽✰⋆｡:ﾟ. *

I always thought about what it would be like when I was older. I thought I'd be able to drive and go anywhere I wanted... But now that I'm 15 I can't help but stop and think about everything I haven't done in life, the life I spent up in my room doing absolutely nothing. Almost as if I'm watching life pass me by.

"Y/n are you finished packing?" I heard my mom say from the basements and I looked down at the empty suitcases and other bags I was supposed to be filling. "uhm...yeah one sec". I got up and sat down the sketchbook I was mindlessly scribbling in, before walking over to a suitcase and flopping it on my bed.

My parents never really had money to go on trips before my mom and stepdad got together and my dad wasn't in jail we all used to go up to a beach house along with my mom's friend Milly and her family...but one year after everything fell apart my stepdad decided to not let us go up there anymore that was until this summer. It's been six years since I've been up there...

I noticed myself zone out again but I snapped out of it and went back to packing, which I had to do a lot of, since I was gonna be there for three long months. I'm not mad about it or anything a trip is a trip it's just...

"Y/n hurry up!" I heard my stepdad yell from down the stairs and almost immediately I felt disgusted, some times when you really hate someone you start to hate the way they talk, act, then who they are as a person and that's exactly how I felt about my dad.

-

After lots of rushing and stuffing as well as stress my bags/suitcases were finally full and I sighed then sat down on my bed and looked around the room I spent 6 years rotting in.

"Y/n let's go!" My stepdad yelled angrily... I know he wasn't happy about this... then again I didn't really care I just didn't want him to ruin this for my mother. I picked up all the heavy bags I spent the last few hours packing and I shuffled my way down the hall to the front door where my mom was standing. "you ready for the drive?" she asked while taking a few of my bags, I shrugged. "I guess...?".

a 6-hour car ride... how exiting.

✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽:ﾟ･⋆｡✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽:ﾟ･⋆｡✰⋆｡:ﾟ･*☽✰⋆｡:ﾟ. *

Okay Hi everyone it's been soooooo long since I've written on here and I will get back to twd stuff but iI've been having a crazy obsession with emo boy's so what do we think about this start to a possible series??

[hollabastiongirl]

Monday Six (thousand, minus about 5k)

tagged by @ornstein

I could indeed give six lines of a WIP I've been ignoring for months and months at this point, but instead I'm gonna post a thousand or so words of a piece that I never intend to finish, but amused me to write as an exercise nonetheless since I haven't written much at all for the My Hero fandom before. What follows is a strange mix of goofy and angsty, but I figure I may as well post it somewhere so it'll stop sitting accusingly in my drafts. Thanks for the tag, ornstein, and here I'll tag @nightfallrevel @snarkyauthor @castershellwrites & anyone else that wants to share six (or however many, go wild) lines of a WIP.

"Holy fuck," Katsuki blurts suddenly and rather loudly, because for all that he's been a fucking ace at everything he's tried since he was old enough to walk, he somehow still hasn't mastered the art of volume control, "I'm in love with that little shit."

From across the library table that they're (reluctantly, on Katsuki's part) sharing, Todoroki barely reacts. He scribbles down a few more meticulously crafted notes on the bullshit hero politics course they're being forced to take and says, quiet and distracted, "I should hope so. Haven't you been together for awhile now?" 

"What??? No?"

Katsuki screeching at near-maximum volume is apparently enough to actually get the bastard's full attention, as heterochromatic eyes deign to lift away from the neat scrawl on his notebook paper in order to level him with a look that's more flat than anything, but skirts the edges of annoyance all the same. Guy's a freak like that, and Katsuki can't figure out how he does it.  "Come on, Bakugou. I'm not blind. Or deaf. He gushes about you and your supposed 'manliness' all the time." 

"WHAT," Katsuki shouts, because seriously, what. The librarian shoots him a nasty look and he just barely resists the burning urge to give her the finger. That hag has some serious pull around here, as he unfortunately learned the last time he pissed her off and received two full weeks of detention for his efforts—most of which he had to spend being one of Dominatrix-sensei's personal bitch boys. And if that wasn't bad enough, Ball Head had served almost as many detentions as Katsuki had. He still shudders just thinking about that whole fiasco. Not fucking worth it. He manages to lower his voice to hiss, "are you actually talking about Kirishima right now," right at Todoroki's stupid, blank face.

"Well, yes. Who else would I be talking about?" IcyHot pauses with a blink upwards, as though an alternate answer will drop from the ceiling and bash him over his stupid candy-cane colored head if he thinks about it hard enough (likely not, but Katsuki might hit him anyway. On principle). None is apparently forthcoming, so he glances back at Katsuki with a shrug. "But from your reaction, I'm assuming I'm off the mark. So…Kaminari?" 

Shit, now that's just insulting. To both of them, even. Katsuki would be willing to bet serious cash that they'd both rather drop dead than somehow fall in love with each other. This idiot, he thinks. What a goddamn joke.  

"NO, dumbass. Not Dunce-Face."

"...Sero?" 

There comes a flash of something that could be interesting to consider in Todoroki's mismatched eyes as he mentions the Human Tape Dispenser, or would be if only Katsuki wasn't preoccupied with NOT leaping across the table to strangle this dumb bastard with his bare hands. Instead, he very calmly says, in his calmest voice, really, really calmly, "ARE YOU STUPID. NO. IT'S DEKU, YOU FUCKING HALF-N-HALF WIT."

"If I'm a half and half wit, doesn't that actually imply I'm a whole wi—"

"For fuck's sake," Katsuki cuts him off with a groan, letting his forehead drop against the cool wooden grain of their study table with a thunk. He'd rather glare a hole through the tabletop right now on the off chance he suddenly develops the ability to explode people (Todoroki, namely) with his eyes. He can't afford to add a manslaughter charge onto his current list of problems. Being in love with Deku is problem enough.

Actually, it's probably the biggest problem he's ever had.

"Are you….okay?" Turd-oroki asks him, seeming curiously wary but looking more constipated than anything. The words sound strange as they pass through the space between them, strained and sour as though Strawberry Shortcake is having some sort of sudden internal crisis about the idea of trying to comfort Katsuki, of all people. Can't really blame him. Katsuki doesn't know how to comfort himself, either. Never has. "You seem…off." 

"Off." Katsuki huffs, though he doesn't bother denying it. "Brilliant fuckin' analysis. Screw being a hero, you should be a goddamn therapist."

There's a pause, like either Todoroki is actually considering a career change or maybe just considering bashing Katsuki over the head with his textbook to put them both out of their misery, and then he says, quietly and with palpable concern, "you seem really off. You didn't even tell me to go to hell just now."

"Go to hell," Katsuki mumbles after the fact. Any vitriol that would otherwise sharpen his voice is tempered by the way his cheek is still smushed morosely against the table. Even Katsuki can't remain intimidating while feeling so pathetic, though he can't bring himself to care much. Not when he feels like this, sick and hot and twisted up inside. "Eat shit and die. Shut the fuck up and get out." 

Todoroki ignores all that, which…fair. "Do you…want to talk about it?" 

"No."

"Are you sure?" As Katsuki finally sits up, all the better to glare at him, IcyHot leans forward a bit and gives him the single most horrifying look of commiseration Katsuki's ever experienced in his shitty life. He's obviously trying to empathize with Katsuki in some way, and even seems to be managing it, and this is… Well, it's too pathetic to stand any longer. He doesn't want to have this conversation. He can't believe he'd been stupid enough to open his fat mouth and blurt this shit out in the first place. Why can't he ever keep his fuckin' mouth shut when it counts?

He does keep it shut, now. He can't think of a thing to say. Nothing that doesn't make him sound like a lovesick loser. Instead, he meets Todoroki's probing gaze and shrugs. He can't be sure of anything, anymore.

Under the table, Katsuki's hands ball into tight fists, fingernails digging savagely into his palms. It eases some of the tension in him as the skin breaks, as though the confusion and longing and misery he's stubbornly holding inside is escaping through the cuts little by little, like air from a sad, deflating pool toy. 

He feels a bit like that, right now. Collapsing into himself and wilting from the steady force of gravity. Inescapable. Inevitable. Inexorable. A weight that doesn't push, but pulls—a force that reels you in so gently that you barely even notice it's happening. Not until you're already falling. 

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 11.14.2023

This week started off a little sticky, writing-wise. I mentioned in last week's update that I wasn't sure if the outline I had for Chapter 4 was going to work, and I decided very shortly afterward that it was not. I really didn't have a good feel about how to make it work, so I just jumped in and wrote some scenes that I knew would either work in Chapter 4, or would go elsewhere if I didn't. I would write them about 80% through, because endings are hard and also because I wanted to leave space for them to join up with the next part. (wtf, scene endings are interfaces, no wonder they're so hard and also so important, why did it take me so long to realize this?)

In any case, out of six planned scenes, two are done, two are mostly done, one is done but I'm not sure I like it, and the last one, which is supposed to be short, is not done at all. It's currently at 8,300 words, which is right in line with the other chapters, which range between 8,300 and 9,500 words. Last week, I said I thought it would take two weeks to write Chapter 4, and I feel like I'm on a good path to that.

Current word count: 35,221 (+6,259/~3800 new)

I've been doing an ask meme about this fanfic, and it's been pretty helpful in being able to peek back at what I've written so far from between my fingers. Once I finish Chapter 4, I think I'm going to be able to go back and read the thing from the beginning. Maybe this is jumping the gun, but after 5 months of half-heartedly poking at this trash heap of disconnected scenes, in the last 5 weeks, I've kicked it into a solid First Third of a Fanfic. I'm also a little intimidated, because now I have to move into The Rest, which is, in some ways, like starting this process all over again. On the other hand, at least I'll feel like I have something under my belt, which is psychologically very helpful for me.

I still haven't drawn anything, but I think I'm going to try hard to this week, even if it's just a tutorial or something. This week is only the second one out of the last eight weeks that my kids have had a five-day school week (and the week before that was the one we all had covid), so maybe I can make something out of those extra six hours.