#just have imposture syndrome

[whatisitcalledagain]

A Weekend Out Chapter 22, a rizzoli & isles fanfic | FanFiction

The blonde complied, resting her hands on the cool marble for support with a shaky breath.

"Are you going to frisk me, Officer?" Maura asked.

"It's Detective," Jane responded. "Now spread your legs."

[liveontelevision]

Okay, this started as a rant about Lucifer lore and turned into an argumentative essay on why Lucifer is a bottom. My b.

18+ Smut ahead, lots of angst

•••

Here's the thing about Lucifer. He was an awesome dreamer, fell in love with Lillith, and was banished to Hell. Literally forced to see what the gift of good will can do at its worse. Unless he's made some personal contact with a sinner to get like updates about what the gift of good will did right, he had to be stuck in a depression for centuries, at least until Charlie was born. And while that would've definitely given him a new passion, he'll never feel confident in dreaming again.

With how much he dislikes sinners and what they represent, i wonder if there had to be some strain on their relationship when it came to Lillith taking control? They never really talk about if they had a fallout or if she just disappeared, but i dont think they really got divorced either.

When Lucifer looks at that family picture and winces, does he feel bad about not contacting charlie? About something he did to make lillith leave? Or maybe he feels bad about being upset at lillith for leaving in the first place? There's so much to umpack there i live for the lore.

Love Interests:

But when that comes to potential love interests in the future, Lucifer hasnt had to court anyone before like ever. Not in the circumstances that they live in a big city like Hell. So when he finally ends up catching feelings, he has no idea. People around the hotel literally need to pick up on context clues for him and have an intervention to tell him he's in love again.

Even if he hasnt seen lillith in 7 years, their relationship had to be a drastic change compared to new love. I think that his love interest would also pick it up before he does, and you would let him work at his own pace. Fuck, it is so important that he goes through this process at his own pace.

With so much strain on his past relationships with loved ones, he fully gaslights himself into thinking he doesnt deserves and isnt allowed to feel affection anymore. I hate making characters i love suffer. But i feel like in his state of mind he'd go through depressive episodes and panic attacks, maybe some night terrors. Theyed be about his past and his subconscious would essentially tell him he has feelings again, and he shouldn't act them in case he scares you away and abandons you, like heaven. Or drives you away like lillith. Or purposely blocks you out like charlie. Mans is struggling i swear. He needs some comfort.

After finally coming to terms, hes a nervous wreck about every decision he makes. He'll constantly stare in the mirror in the mornings, making sure he looks his best, would plan mental scripts before even having a conversation with you, and would become a bumbling mess just trying to make jokes out of the situation, some base level actions, like how we saw in the show. He'll manage to finally ask you out, but all he really knows how to do is profess an undying love (i feel like his confession to lillith was hella dramatic) so it was a little awkward, but still cute. And of course you said yes.

So let's say its been 5+ years since he moved into the hotel, met you and finally managed to confess his feelings. When it comes to the actual relationship? You give him reassurance and support him through his mental episodes, and laugh at his jokes and praise him for everything he does. He has such intense imposture syndrome though, that even other demons have to reassure that theres no way you dont love him with all your being. Because it is literally obvious to everyone but him.

He's pretty good at doing the romantic fluff stuff in public, he loves to make a big show out of treating you like royalty and even trying to embarrass you when you become close enough. He's always more charasmatic in public, it seems easier than doing that alone.

Not in a negative way, but Lucifer is so never to be alone with you. You take the lead a bit more in those scenarios, suggesting ideas like movies or just coming up with small talk yourself. He needs someone who'll be patient with him. Being alive for millions of years AND being left or shamed by all your loved ones during that time is literally the definition of Truama.

Of course he's been bottling all that shit up, he has no one to confide with. There's no one who's been alive and witnessed it all the way he has. So bless you for loving and caring for him even without understanding all hes been through.

You'll have some rough patches, where this emotional side locks him away from you and everyone else. It might be a few days before you see him. He'll lock himself in his office, pumping out ducks by the dozen just to keep himself from sleeping, because he's scared he'll have night terrors if he feels asleep. He's in a constant loop;

"what if i fucked up?"

"what if i try to talk about it and then they realize how bad i fucked up?"

"what if that's enough of a reason for them to leave me?"

"what if i scare them away?"

"what if that fucks this up?"

"what if i fucked up.. Again..?"

After he leaves his office, youre excited to see him out and about, but you cant make a big deal out of it. You have to speak to him calmly, make sure he's physically okay before talking to him about his thought process. It might take awhile, but he'll eventually trust you enough to open up. And of course it'll never be bad enough for you to leave him, he's just struggling.

Physical Contact:

It takes him an even longer time to become physical with you. He hasnt been intimate for over a decade at this point, but as soon as he becomes comfortable with little affections like hand holding, cuddling, wrapping his arms around your waist, and kissing? Hoo boy, he melts after your first kiss. It couldve been even a small peck and he would still become a nervous wreck just trying to ask for more.

He'll ask for physical touch more than provide it at first. You'll give him a quick kiss and he'll look up at you super eager just like, "another?" He'll grow into tastful pda's, linking arms, quick hugs and smooches, holding hands all that.

He becomes putty in your hand when you're alone though. You'll nudge him to lean against your shoulder or even lay his head in your lap while youre lounging or watching movies. He becomes so relaxed in your presence, that you'll want to suddenly peck him just to see his suddenly flustered reaction.

You'd give him massages that he would always be hesistant over. He was always a little nervous that he wasnt giving enough to you, but you were quick to assure him that wasnt the case. You'd straddle his hips while giving him a slowww massage. It starts with light touches, tracing your fingers over his shoulder blades and spine. You'd trace your fingers over his chest when you would cuddle too, depending on the position. Or stroke his back sweetly. It was enough of a distraction to keep his mind occupied, away from any spiraling thoughts he might be having.

He purrs. Convince me that he doesnt purr. (You cant)

Being secluded for so long probably means that he doesnt fly as much as he used to. It was probably a passion of his, and he was especially delighted to share it with lillith and charlie.

So during those 7 years he barely flew, he also didnt take care of his wings. I feel like theyre something to be summoned, so they arent constantly tucked into his back. You'd basically scold him sometimes to just let you clean his wings.

You'd do it in like a spring-type bathhouse that Lucifer would have in his castle somehow. It was one of the first intimate moments he's experienced in years, so he was generally going insane. Feeling your hands and a little comb rake through the feathers on his giant wings? You'd have to tap his shoulder sometimes to keep him from falling asleep to the relaxation alone. After the first time, the water you used was pretty dirty and he had a lot of loose feathets that were combed out. Damn, he needed this.

Intimacy:

After awhile, you sit down and would have a discussion about being intimate in bed. Lucifer would be absolutely nervous about overstepping by asking this, (even though you've been together for about a year at this point). He would use his mental scripts and basically practice what he wanted to say.

It would mainly be him saying he wants to do this because he loves you and youve done so much for him that he wants to give back to you in this way. It would consist of him saying its okay if you dont want to, or if you ever want to stop to just say so. But of course you want to, how could you not?

It would start slow, he actually tries taking the lead in this specific situation. He would kiss you first, his lips trembling at the thought that this is actually happening. Feeling his nerves, you'd cup his face and stroke his cheeks with your thumbs lightly. That will help him ease up enough to start letting the passion take over more.

He'd become more confident in slipping his tongue into your mouth and placing his hands on your hips to pull you closer to him. Lucifer would get lost in the moment, pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed and licked and bit his way across both your shoulders and down to the softeness of your breast. After leaning back to look at the damage his eyes would become increasingly wide, looking up at you with a flustered expression. Seeing you losing it as much as he was, gave him enough courage to keep up at it.

He would almost hesistantly take a hold of your breasts and would massage them softly, running his thumbs across your nipples and becoming absolutely delighted at the reaction you gave. The adrenaline from the pleasure would make you start grinding against his lap, which would make lucifer's hands on your hips pull away for a moment and make his breath stutter. Lucifer would look you up and down as if he didnt know what to do next, studying your body with darting eyes. You'd press a small kiss on his forehead before guiding his hands back onto your hips with yours, keeping your eyes on him the entire time.

"Are you okay, Luci?" He would gulp before nodding his head and turning ridiculously red across his face, maybe from the idea of what was to come, maybe just from your voice alone. You'd keep your hands ontop of his at your hips as you'd keep moving, letting out breathy moans. He would be holding his breath without realizing, an absolute nervous wreck just from the view.

He would already be hard just from the previous make out session, so this would cause him to lean his back against the bed, his strength giving out. You'd keep up at it, feeling his hips jolt up to meet yours at times.

He was a sweaty, twitching mess in front of you and you hated to admit how much that excited you.

His scripted plan was immediately forgotten, but he was quick to remember that he wanted to please you.

He'd snap out of his state of intense pleasure, to carefully switch positions, him looking over you with your back against the bed.

You both discuss it, of course, attempting to set boundaries before hand. Even just the tender discussion would get him riled up. So he'd lean foward and kiss you again, showing off his forked tongue before peppering kisses down your entire body, until he was close enough to let his hot breath heat up your folds.

You'd feel his nervous breath on you before delving in. He would be hesistant of course, but would be quick to get used to your entrance after running his tongue across your entirety multiple times. Lucifer loves providing pleasure this way, so his brain immediately knew what to do once the nerves past. He was quick to take a tight hold onto your thighs to keep you in place as he entered you with his demonic lengthy tongue. He would look up at you as he sort of aimlessly dug around at first, waiting for a reaction. Once he'd see you dip your head back with a muffled moan, he would close his eyes to focus all his attention to that one spot. He'd reach his thumb around to circle and massage your clit that he would find far too quickly. You'd arch your back and try to get more friction against his tongue, but it's easy to forget that he is quite literally the strongest being in Hell. You weren't going anywhere.

He'd love feeling your hands in his hair and would absolutely lose it feeling you pull hard when he'd hit just the right spot. As soon as he set a steady thythm and was hearing your voice become more unhinged, he'd speed up to an extent that you didn't realize was possible after going for so long. You discussed cumming before and he made it very clear that he was okay with you finishing on his face. Fuck, he wanted it. You still warned him, moaning out his name to get his attention, "I-I'm almost there- K-Keep doing that.. like that..! Luci-" you'd almost direct him though the whole process, but were quick to become a moaning mess unable to communicate with words. You'd reach your limit and he would let you buck up into his face this time, loosening his grip on your thighs. He'd pull away after licking you clean, sending overstimulated pleasure across your entire body, with a line of your juices following his tongue as he lifted his head. He would pant with his tongue still sticking out of his mouth, and even through hazy eyes you loved seeing his demonic tongue and thinking about how it just drove you to climax.

Things would switch up again, and you'd sit him against the back of the bedframe. you'd have another quick discussion before seating yourself slowly on his length, which had been throbbing for any contact since the night started. The first few times, he'd do his best not to cum immediately. He hadn't been touched like this in a while, after all. You'd only begin to move once you made sure he was okay since his struggle was written all over his face.

The moment you began to keep a steady space, he would jut his hips upwards, becoming needy to feel this sensation he hadn't felt in over a decade. The first time didn't last long. It was sweet, and he would constantly moan out your name and babble on about how much he loves you. The entire time, you'd be praising him through every move until he was going too fast for you to get a sentence out.

He'd cum inside of you, another previously discussed topic. You essentially had to beg to convince him it was okay. You'd collapse onto his chest, a position he didnt see often. While the two of you always cuddled, you were so focused on making sure he was comfortable, Lucifer realized you didnt often get the chance to just relax on top of him. So after realizing that? Aftercare was amazing.

He'd let you sit with him inside you for a while, before pulling you off and immediately cleaning you up. Some nights, when he felt especially dominant, he would lap up his own cum from your incredibly sensitive cunt. He would swallow some of it, but was mainly pushing anything that dripped out back into your entrance.

After cleaning you up, he would wiggle his way back underneath you and pull you onto his chest, enjoying taking care of you the way you took care of him.

After the first night, lucifer would be much more confident. He'd have that healthy glow, but would be more assertive during meetings, more communicative and wouldnt shut others out as often. It really helped him realize how much you gave to him, and he was determined to give all that and more back to you.

[houseofchimeras]

I'm really sorry if this question is a bit of an overstep, but I'm genuinely curious!

You've been around in the Alterhuman community for so long, and you're such a prevalent name as well! How did you (and other Alterhuman folk, like Page and Orion) end up being such big names in the community? And since you guys have been around for so long, do you have any advice you'd like to pass along?

Again, really sorry if this seems pushy, but curiosity killed the cat, y'know?

I hope you have a great day!

Your question isn’t overstepping at all! (So sorry for the delayed answer, offline life has been busy and seasonal depression has left our "writing energy" a bit low for now.)

To the question on how we became “big names in the community,” our system honestly has a hard time understanding it ourselves. To be fair, our system suffers from some serious chronic Imposture Syndrome and self-esteem issues from trauma from childhood echoing mean stuff said about ourselves long ago, plus we’re just overall kind of social anxious creatures, (all while simultaneously desperately wanting validation and the idea that we’re ‘liked’ by people.) Because of all that, internalizing that people like us, let alone look up to us in the community has never been something we have been able to do. We seem to be psychologically incapable of feeling about ourselves and our work half as highly as others view us and our work. We always see ourselves as just “some guys,” in our own eyes.

We just… like writing. We have a lot of special interests and one of them revolves around the history of the communities we are a part of, and we have a lot of tendencies towards hoarding links and copies of materials relevant to these communities. So out of these two things we’ve ended up becoming a community historian and archivist of sorts. Our academic background in history (and to a lesser extent anthropology and library science) certainly has helped us develop skills towards these projects of ours.

And sometimes people like what we write, I guess. We’re always just flattered and happy people like things we have made or done.

As for advice,

A lot of our advice on community engagement is echoed in  Page and Orion’s “YOU ARE NOT A MUSEUM PIECE: Putting Yourself Out There in the Alterhuman Community” 2023 Othercon panel. Our partners, @who-is-page and @frameacloud explain dozens of things there 100 times better than we ever could on that matter.

Other than that -

- Be kind; not just to others but to yourself as well. - Create stuff you want to see made in the community and things you enjoy making, first and foremost. - Every project ever, no matter how large or small, has all started out as nothing but a blank page. Try to not see it as intimidating and instead see it as a blank canvas of endless possibilities.

We hope that answered your questions, and may you have a great day as well. - Earth Listener (she/her/hers)

[tardigradetheking]

My boss actually thinks I'm retarded. Like she felt the need to ask me if I was using soap to wash the dishes. Dog I'm twenty five and she had her back to me.

I have been working with special needs kids for three months now and today alone I have been lectured five times about how I'm doing stuff wrong. I have been told that I'm not at a point where she can give me positive feedback just the other day. She gives me contradictory instructions and Scoffs when I point that out. She has accused me of doing the students work for them at least three times.

My boss is a massive bitch and she is giving me imposture syndrome. I feel like I have no idea how to work with children anymore and the suicidal ideation is back. The first warning sign was that I got transferred to her three weeks into the school year because a para jumped ship. Now another para is jumping ship.

On the bright side. I'm getting transferred to a new department in the school. Which would make three paraprofessionals leaving her classroom in as many months. I just have to get through the next couple school days.

[caitylove]

Hey there! For the 70 horrible questions thing...

04: Are you insecure? 07: What did you last eat? 15: Have any pets? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

Hey friend! Sorry! I'm a horrible person who forgot to answer this.

4: absolutely. I definitely have issues about my looks and weight that I am majorly insecure about and I 100% suffer from imposture syndrome in work and in my writing.....

07: just finished a bowl of broccoli and cheddar soup. Yum!

15: I do! I have two cats Merry (on right ) and Pippin (on left). Look at their faces!

20: this is probably a lame answer. But probably my house? Probably snagging the husband. lol 😂

[the-time-travelers-admirer]

So, I was talking to Five about how he may have Imposture Syndrome and why and how that bleeds into him as a person.

I have talked about how when he was a kid there is a strong possibility that Reginald fucked with Five the most, and by that I mean giving him the most praise when he excelled at being useful but also being the most critical towards him as well when he wasn't. In short, Five was given the most praise and such compared to his other siblings because Reginald seen him as the most beneficial and useful, but when Five fought/pushed back and wasn't easily manipulated, it reversed tenfold...

And I've also talked about how I feel pretty confident in how he placed Five as the fifth child on purpose. Placing Five too far up would have soared his ego and made him a bitch to take advantage of and placing him at the far back would have most likely made him be meh about even trying to excel at anything because why try at that point right?

So, placing Five in the middle would make Five have a will and want to strive and prove himself to be worthy and efficient and, well, the best. He wanted to prove he could crawl through the ranks. In other words, Reginald filled Five with a need to prove himself and prove he was efficient enough... But, that never worked... No matter how hard he worked and pushed himself to try to prove himself it never mattered...

So, now after everything that has happened to him... Five now feels like he's a failure, not worthy, not good enough, and let's people put blame on him even when nothing is his fault... And most likely feels like he keeps failing himself and his family...

I feel like this even bled into him being a great assassin... By thinking he was "saved" by the handler, he felt the need to be the best and prove himself to again to be efficient. We know he hates killing, never wanted to be an assassin, and never wants to take a life... But, I feel he became the best because that's what he does and also what he had to do to survive while under the commission's watch...

He tries to excel and be perfect and be efficient in whatever he does because he feels like he has to. Even if it makes him hate himself and fill him with regret...

He didn't become the commission's best assassin because he wanted to, it was because he had to and being the best at something, no matter what it is, has become second nature to him...

Five does have an ego and he does have pride, but he also feels like he'll never be good enough no matter what he does even though he always tries to strive to be the best at everything regardless in what it is.

In other words, he's filled with the need to be efficient, worthy, the best, and perfect to himself and others...

And I feel his siblings still instill that in him today... I feel not a single person has ever genuinely thanked him for anything or has ever told him that they're proud of him or appreciate him...

And that's fucked up...

For example, him saving his family from the first apocalypse. That was a feat, that was an accomplishment, that was something amazing that he did! He did that in such a short amount of time and saved his entire family including himself! In seconds! He saved them from being evaporated, obliterated, VAPORIZED! Yes, that trip into the 60s was messy and it had some bumps, but he fucking did it! His quick thinking and skills prevented their deaths!

But, what did that get him...? It got him berated, hated, shit on, called names, thrown off stairs, guilt tripped, threatened, grabbed, triangulated against, and relentlessly blamed for everything...

And Five just accepts it all like that's normal... I feel he thinks he's failed himself and his family when the reality is...they've failed him...

Five is actually a truly amazing man down to his core and he deserves so much better...

I'm so glad that Klaus seems to be the one that actually and genuinely cares about him.

[carmenberzattosgf]

No one is gonna be annoyed if you take a break!! you don't have to feel guilty for writing short stuff or for not writing at all! i totally get the self doubt so take a break if you need it 🫶 we're still gonna be here after!!

Sending you hugs and reminding you that just because you're not writing at your best doesn't mean that your writing isn't good!! Proud of you for writing at all because God knows it's difficult 🫶

-🍓

I just have really bad imposture syndrome I think. Thank you and everyone who’s sent me an ask encouraging me. My biggest love language is words of affirmation so stuff like this really helps me feel better. Ilysm

[stokesy55]

(Pat would accuse him of always making the conversation about him and his struggles whenever they have it).

I can see this happening in 1080p HD 🤣 The way I headcanon VK, he's not really a very sensitive or empathetic or otherwise emotionally intelligent person 😅😂 Pat will try and talk to him about how he feels so useless and demotivated in his life because he's always injured, and how he's afraid he'll never get back in the squad, because there's so much competition. VK is staring at a laptop, immersed in what tactics he must set during the next series. "Hm?" He asks distractedly. "Yeah, that shirt looks good on you. You should wear it to the ICC awards ceremony next month." Pat storms off. "What?!" VK yells at his retreating back. "You asked me if you looked good in that blue shirt, didn't you?!"

Sometimes, VK just plain shuts Pat down when he tries to have this conversation. Like, "Oh shut up, I don't have time to listen to you whine right now!"

Or sometimes, VK just plain snaps at Pat like, "Why are you always complaining? What can I do about this? Do you think I can magically cure a stress fracture? You were told that you'll need at least 6 months to recuperate, and whining every single day about that will not make the time go any faster, dammit! And so what if you can't play cricket? That can't be your only interest in life, can it? Maybe instead of cribbing to me all day about this, if you stopped being so unproductive, went out with some friends, pursued a hobby, or something like that, you'd stop feeling so bored and depressed! But you're so lazy, all you do is slouch about! I don't care, go read a book, or paint something, or do whatever you want. Stop annoying me. You're not the only one who has difficulties in life."

And once VK finds about the affair, he makes it a point to rub it into Pat's face about how he earns less than him, how he isn't as famous as him. He keeps taunting Pat like, "I don't understand, you're at home all day, still why is it that every time I return from training, I have to cook food? You don't have anything else to do anyways, you can make yourself useful around the house at least. Can't cook, can't clean, can't earn money. You're good for nothing. All you do is waste my money."

Or, "I understand why you won't give me a divorce and just make it official with that harlot of yours. It's because you'll be out on the streets if you do, isn't it? Who's going to put food on your table and clothes on your back when I'm gone? Not your slut, that's for sure, he's as unemployed as you are. A cunning little golddigger, that's what you are Pat." 🤭🤭

See I very much see it more that VK knows how fucking hard he has to work 1) to stay on top of his game and 2) because he’s omega. For him, one tiny slip or fumble in performance and he’s done. So when he hears Pat, an Alpha who gets everything without trying, he just can’t accept it. Oh woe are Pat’s little problems when he has to make sure his strike rate stays over 50 or he’ll be drop, how he has to continue to front up to playing alphas because even though he’s bonded they still think they can have a slice of him because he’s omega, how he can’t stop trying to perfect his game because he suffers from such bad imposture syndrome he is still waiting for the day someone comes and takes this all away from him

The two really need to just walk a mile in each other’s shoes and realise they’re more similar than they might think

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

please support this blog

🦇 Hook, Line, & Sinker Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What song is stuck in your head right now? 🦇 King crab fisherman Fox Thornton has a reputation as a sexy, carefree flirt. Everyone knows he's a guaranteed good time--in bed and out--and that's exactly how he prefers it. Until he meets Hannah Bellinger. She's immune to his charm and looks, but she seems to enjoy his... personality? And wants to be friends? While Hannah's in town for work, she stays in Fox's guest bedroom, and the line between friendship and flirtation begins to blur. Will they fall, hook, line, and sinker, or are they only destined to remain friends?

💜 The best part of this romance, by far, is the complete LACK of miscommunication trope. Instead, Hannah refers to what she's learned through therapy to coax Fox to confront his demons. On the surface, Fox comes off as a lady's man with little interest in love or commitment, but for once, there's a reasoning behind what otherwise feels like cliched behavior. The concept of family and friends defining who we are before we get the chance to decide it for ourselves DIRECTING Fox toward the reputation he's earned, creating a pressure that he could never amount to more, truly gave this book the depth it needed to beyond a typical friends-to-lovers rom-com. Meanwhile Hannah learns how to become more than a supporting character in her own story, eventually taking the reigns to become a leading lady. This story also doesn't entirely depend on smut to push the story forward (thought the lust is strong with this one), as so many do. Instead, Hannah and Fox TALK (I know, right?) and work through their issues together.

💙 I have never read a friends-to-lovers book that relied on the word "friends" nearly so much. There are a few questionable word choices throughout the entire story that create a level of cringe, unfortunately. There's a sudden, rushed moment of self-doubt for Fox that tears apart his growth, returning Fox to his imposture syndrome mindset. Instead of that, we really could have had a better discussion about hypersexualization and toxic masculinity. Somewhere around the 50% mark, everything from the romance to the prose starts faltering (I may be wrong, but I think her husband was in the ICU while she was working on this book?). So, while cute, this didn't quite meet the level I expected.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Icebreaker and Practice Makes Perfect.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🎧 Forbidden Romance 🎧 Slow Burn 🎧 Friends to Lovers 🎧 Small Town Romance 🎧 Dual POV 🎧 2nd in a Duology

💬 Quotes ❝ I just kind of stand around waiting for things to happen, while other people seem to make them happen so easily. I can help others—I like doing that—but I’m a supporting actress, not a leading lady. ❞ ❝ “You’re enough when you’re not touching me,” she whispered, not even sure she said it out loud until Fox’s expression went from lusting to dumbstruck, his chest starting to heave. “You’re enough on your own.” ❞ ❝ “I’m jealous as fuck.” He seemed to be having a hard time getting breath into his lungs. “You’re … my Hannah, you know?” ❞ ❝ “You make me feel like I’m in the exact right place.” ❞ ❝ “I didn’t know what right felt like until you.” ❞

[yanderefairyangel]

Hi @runictablet if you don't mind I will answer here because I think my answer will be a little long.

So honestly I find the idea to name eahc character after one common theme very well thought.

Because it's giving Engage a strong worldbuilding identity and it's also relying on a simple and yet effective art direction.

That's not high far fecthed reference sure, but that works just as well, simple and efficient.

@emblematicemblazer made some post regarding this topic as well and I got a very clever anon pointing to how Firene's branding name was linked to how it's canonically the Kingdom of wealth and I did hope to be able to make a full post centered about the meaning of the game but I am just going to focus on Brodia for this one ok ?

So in the case of Brodia I think the name being around gemstone is pretty clever.

Brodia from what we know is a meritocracy based on physcial strengh and gemstones can be classified in a hierachical way because of the carat. Gemstones with little carat have little value and in Frech, you can use that expression in general to speak of things that are of high quality. And combined that way, it helps showing the Brodian meritocracy and tie to the economy as we know it highly relies on mine.

And then it connects as well to how our Brodian cast all suffer from different sort of impostor syndrome and are pressured by society to be "perfect" "strong" etc, like the most shining and high valued gemstone.

To take two examples of character whose name I think works perfectly I would choose Lapis and Diamant.

While Lapis name seems to come from the lapis lazuli, in reality it's the just the word lapis meaning stone in latin. And seeing how Lapis is a commoner, it all makes sense. Symbolically, her name being that makes her insecurity and inferiority complex due to her rank emphasized. Lapis is a commoner however we know that in Brodia strengh is valued and this include the hierachal rank that nobles have superiority towards commoner. This makes Lapis feel highly insecure : she is a stone in a kingdom of gems, symbolically. That's what her name represent. Lapis herself in chapter 7 state that she is aware that the weak in Brodia will get robbed off, she know she cannot shows that her position is weaker. But at the same time, the ambiguity makes sense within universe as Lapis tries to hide her real origins by making as if she might be from a higher family but she never outright lies since she is that honest. So when you think of lapis-lazuli the gem when hearing her name, it's part of this "imposture" that isn't really one, just a misunderstanding due to her name so she is at the same time Lapis (the stone) but not Lapis (the gemstone) like she is in truth a commoner (a stone) but not a noble (gemstone) and her name also refers to her strengh to some extent with stone not breaking as easily as some gemstones.

And for Diamant now. His name is the french word for Diamond. Diamond are precious gemstone reputed to be unbreakable and to be a symbol of perfection. Some people view it as the tears of God. Diamant is a character seen as perfect and flawless by those around him, strong and unbreakable. However we do learn in his suppor it's not true. He has flaws, he has weakness and there is something he fears = Fire magic. In fact, in his design, part of his hair is lighter then the rest probably to signify that he is indeed someone with flaws but he tries to hide them. In greek, the word ἀδάμας that gave the word diamant in french meant unbreakable to refer to the fact this gemstone would not break. However, it also refers to the indominable state of the mind and more then his physical strengh, that is what Diamant demonstrate notably in chapter 10 of the main story and yes, that why in contrast his Alter ego have no strong will, which Diamant will call him out on would he fight him. And finally diamond are symbol of purity. Diamant is a man of pure intentions. In FE, the common them about nobility and monarchy is that nobles are not above the people, but at their services. They must not make the people innocent civilians suffer from greater ideals or for their greed or treat them as if they were inferior, the nobility and the governement/ruler have the responsability to protect their people, to ensure their security, their well being their happiness, like a retainer would do with their liege. Diamant by his pure wish for prosperity based on peace and opposing a greedy nobility illustrate that. He also got support where he gets to laugh and being a bit goofy. And most importantly, something that is also shown in the most recent chapter for the manga, is sought for strengh isn't based on the same motives then the nobility but on a pure wish to protect others : he pushed himself as a child to be able to protect his brother, to protect his people and all he does is in that mindest. That's what is droving him to perfectionate himself not matter what hardship he face which makes his association to the diamond and to Roy whose incantations means standing up very relevant as in reality Diamant is more of a perfection of the mind over the body.

I hope this answer your question ! So yeah I find them very interesting to analyze

[frolicksome]

"Your life is good enough to be a story I'll buy and read." A friend once told me.

The way I told myself, "Nah, my life is way too boring." Then all of a sudden, I remember the trees's morning smell in the mountains, the visits of the crows every morn, the moisture of every needle of tiny and neatly trimmed grass, the morning exercises, the laughter... The way my life flashed joy in my eyes and smiled as the wind flew past my gliding body through a zipline. The water comforts me while I see a dying moth that's being buried by dead human cells and the pool water. My attempt on trying to revive the poor small moth. The times I've drawn instead of listening to the speakers telling their stories about how they have found God as their pathway through their life while I was there making art and knew that felt enough. I knew I felt enough through every meeting in the dining hall, I tried to know bits and pieces of their life by talking to them.

I remember, the hill... The Stairway to Nowhere. I climbed there on my second day. It always felt familiar, like a childhood dream that I've always dreamt of and never physically able to. Only to find out that I've been there and it wasn't Deja vu, it was an intimate moment of happiness. I was there when I was a child. I experienced that spot only once and felt as if I was home. The way that the hill curved, and the trees' placements, felt so real. I tried to have some alone time there, sketching the trees and the landscape of it all... Just to find a group of friends there, trying to hang out up there. I didn't put much mind to them though. I offered food to the ants there, at least they were appreciative.

I drew and drew as my days went by, sketching and writing things for my silly world and ocs on paper. Every step of the way I put my experiences on my ocs just to catch a glimpse of how they were going to handle it better than I could.

All of a sudden, the people that I'm writing about, their cries and misery, their smiles and excitement. They were mine too. My experiences are theirs and mine, we share a bond and I forgot about them. I pity myself for not writing and getting to know them more.

I missed them. I missed the sense of freedom

I missed the grass and forests. But at least I can still make them artistically.

They were everything to me. To hate them is my greatest sin of all because I want my characters to feel a sense of freedom. And now, I put myself in a situation to ask: "If they have a piece of me, does that mean I hate my own creation?" To think of a god, hating themselves because of imposture syndrome, but loving the small parts of their characters is a hypocrite.

[random2908]

At work they seem to think I'm an electrical engineer. I'm just. Just so baffled by this. If there's one thing I'm not, surely it's that.

Like, ok, the mechanical engineers think I'm a mechanical engineer, and that's fine. The bosses think everyone is a mechanical engineer, or can be, given half a chance. They think the actual mechanical engineers--the ones with masters degrees in mechanical engineering--are simply the most experienced, but that anyone else could do their job slightly worse but basically successfully. But the mechanical engineers treat me like I'm one of them in a way they don't with other physicists, trust me with tools that they wouldn't trust others with, one of them even gave me admin privileges to some equipment that they won't give my supervisor admin privileges to. Apparently they thought I was going to be working 3/4 time as a physicist and 1/4 time as a laser engineer when I was hired; my previous employer killed that possibility (the one real concession he got with his threatened lawsuit was that I'm not allowed to work on the insides of any lasers for two years) but that's still how they think of me, as basically one of them. But that's just the mechanical engineers who see me that way.

When I applied I said I had mechanical engineering experience and software experience. I hate software, but you've gotta put that in your resume, if you can do it even a little bit. My supervisor remembered that and took it seriously, and I do actually do some software engineering when I have to, but the bosses mainly don't want me working on software.

But somehow the bosses think I'm an electrical engineer, instead. That I should be a major bridge between the electrical engineering department and physics. That that's my rare expertise rather than (in my opinion) my most embarrassing incompetence, the one thing I try to avoid having come up in job interviews because I can't find a positive spin for it.

I mean. It's kind of good, because the company president sees himself as being an electrical engineer as well as a physicist. So he's like, oh, we have this extra competency in common! And it's also kind of good that the skillset that I'm the least secure about, other people have convinced themselves that I'm good at--although I think that's partly because they haven't really asked that much of me, and partly because I know a bit about rf/mw. But, like, I can barely design an inverting amplifier or a low pass filter and then put it together with large components from a kit (although it'll look reasonably nice if I do, because my soldering is decent). And I've only actually laid out a PCB for manufacturing exactly once in my entire life. But it's, idk, weird. I rarely get anything that looks like imposture syndrome, but I can feel it creeping in a little bit here. (Except, of course, it's justified.)

[afrocentric-divination]

I have gotten so many people who want me to channel others (on the hotlines) and I am so uncomfortable doing so. Idk if it’s imposture syndrome, or because I know I’m starting over with the channeling thing. Or maybe it’s because I’m trying to figure out how people go on hotlines and trust a stranger like that to connect with their deceased loved ones. And so far I’ve been pretty good at it, I just feel like something is missing? Or that what I’m doing isnt enough?? :/

[aloeamarsea]

interns

twenty-two when i met you. navy blue dress pants, light blue button up and the matching caramel oxfords and belt. the tuesday after labour day. we were interns - imposture syndrome, overdressed, shy and soft-spoken.

you thought your accent was stronger than it was, I understood everything you said. you thought your acne made you unattractive, you thought they undermined your skills, you thought they had no interest in getting to know you. you and your story.

I'll never forget you. you and your story. the way you lit up when you talked about shenzen. the way you rolled your eyes when you talked about your boss. i wish you saw him after you left - he got into a bike accident a month later and had a bruised face and broken arm. he couldn't look at me in the eyes because he knew you told me all about him.

half an hour late and maybe you were right - we probably shouldn't have gone in to the town hall meeting because of all the stares we got. thank you for letting me convince you because that is my favourite memory with you. two interns trying our hardest to control our laughter. i hated seeing you tense because i know that you just wanted to laugh - i miss that laugh.

you wanted to go out for pho later that week. i've never tried it before so i made up an excuse to get out of it. i've still never had pho. but what i'd do so that i could go back and try it with you.

I was so mad at you when i found out. i was young and i guess building armour helped me make sense of what happened. it took me years to forgive you. i started dating someone two weeks after your funeral. i think this was my way of refraining from mourning you.

it also took me years to realize when you said goodbye. you hugged me three times that day. you got me a pastel de nata.

it took me seven years to eat another pastel de nata - i think they will always remind me of you. i miss you but i appreciate you leaving me with something to remember you by. i hope they have a bakery in heaven with them.

[agentgrange]

“Most of the fields of forensics were developed not by scientists, but by law enforcement to generate leads or to help convict suspects once they had been identified.”

It's my sincere hope that anyone who indulges in playing investigative horror games, especially when playing members of federal law enforcement, realize how many tropes they learned from media and use to tell their stories are straight up vapor in the real world.

The assumption when you're playing GUMSHOE is that you are skilled professions using "advanced techniques" to solve mysteries. It feels rewarding when you're able to think of a particular technique you may have heard of that you aren't extremely well versed in and can make sense of, but your character can. For GUMSHOE games you just say the thing, and your character can do the thing to generate clues from thin air on the understanding they use their professional experience that *the player doesn't have* to find supposedly irrefutable evidence to solve the mystery. But what if I told you that there *is* no deeper understanding or secret technique, that its just as poorly understood to these "professionals" as it is to the player?

Ever had that moment of imposture syndrome at a new job when you realize that you aren't actually that smart, you just know all the little dumb rules to make people think you are? Well all "consummate professionals" *especially in the federal government* have the same fake it till you make it attitude that relies on others ignorance of their field. At best they wrongly trust the techniques they were taught that has seemingly rewarded them with results before without questioning it or having a deep understanding of *how* it just so happens to get them the exact results they want. At worst they're absolute dullards trying to take the path of least resistance to sloppily go through the motions. They know the jury system is designed where jurors are selected to be pliant good natured rubes with no "biases" or background forensic knowledge beyond planted Law & Order media tropes who will trust when a cop flaunts the supposed infallibility of their techniques without being educated enough in the topic to challenge them. Unfortunately, despite the "prosumption of innocence" defense lawyers are almost always forced to focus on providing a verifiable albeit instead of directly attacking the validity of questionable investigative techniques out of fear of creating a "negative perception" with the jury who without any ability to do research themselves are socially conditioned to believe the police first.

None of it's actually statistically viable. None of these "real techniques" actually include a superstar cop doing visual calculous on the fly to mathematically solve a case or a team of peer reviewed scientists. It's all pretty much just mundane cops bullshitting at their job using known shortcuts, except the consequences are far more dire. I just think that's important to remember, these methods seem so esoteric but the results so convenient that you assume it's because you're too dumb to understand them. You're not. It really is just stupidly over contrived bullshit quite literally 95% of the time, and far better at producing convincing false evidence than discovering the truth.

[xazz]

I was having a pretty good day today and then idk what but my mood just took a nose dive into the fucking abyss

Lots of insecurities showing up. Lots of feelings of failure. Lots of imposture syndrome. Fear everyone I know hates me.

I know they're not true and i just have to get through it.

I did also almost get into a car accident. The light was red. I saw it I just... didn't do anything about it. Almost T-boned a guy. So that didn't help