#just gotta write the setup and then finally FINALLY

[bam-stroker]

Omg I looove project runway!! /joking

Finally getting to dig my little claws into that robot racer rival's to lovers story ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

[kaysungshine]

Redamancy ['red-a-man-sE] noun ;a love returned in full

Part II out now!

{ Pairing } - idol!bangchan x staff!afab.reader (with a hint of bestfriend!jisung?)

{ Genre } - NSFW, the trifecta (s/a/f), frenimies to friends to lovers? idk but we'll get there in the end

{ Synopsis } - Han Jisung is your new bestie & technical colleague, of course you befriended the rest of his members. Group nights became a tradition, & tonight involves liquor and drinking games for the first time. Truth or drink?

{ WC } - 6.7k

{ Warnings & tags } - 18+ MDNI, NSFW, smut, angst, fluff, drinking, breath play (choking), swearing, dry humping, use of 'babygirl', mention of wet dream, talk of edging, talk of domming, talk of choking, talk of exhibitionism, all of ot8 is suggestive af when they drink, reader and jisung are PLATONIC I promise they're just touchy, they're all giggly drunks so overuse of laughing chuckling and giggling, chan is kinda dumb in this he just... is in denial land but we'll find out more about that later, unrealistic work scenarios, unrealistic dorm setup? idk lol

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated with the actual skz, and is a fictional piece. I DO NOT own Stray Kids, this fic is just influenced by them!

{ A/N } - Okay I know I took forever to post & this intro is hella long & I'm sorry! Once again, I will say this is my first skz fic. I come from the world of AO3 & dramione. I am out of my comfort zone lol. First time posting stories on tumblr too! So if I missed anything please let me know <3 there will be a part 2, I've already started writing it! The plot is weak af, but gimme a few more stories and I'll find my groove. Promise! Unbeta'd, be gentle with me ♡

It was supposed to be a relatively chill Saturday night, so you were excited. You just got off work, and had arrived at Jisung's. He swung the door open smiling and pulled you inside, into an immediate hug. Everyone said their greetings, and then Jisung went immediately to whining.

"Finally, what kept you so late?"

You took your shoes, mask, sunglasses, and hat off, letting your curls fall down your back. Then you unzipped your sweatshirt, shrugging it off your shoulders and exposing your fitted white tee. You gave your jacket and bag to Ji so he could put them away. You always arrived in 'disguise', in baggy clothing so that no one suspected anything. Though you thought it was ridiculous. It doesn't matter how baggy the sweat pants or hoodie is, there's no hiding the curve of your ass.

You were a content editor at JYPE, and had become really good friends with Han Jisung. Friendships between idols and staff certainly aren't forbidden, in fact they're encouraged to an extent... as long as no lines are crossed. But it's pretty much an ignored rule. Anyways, you were a small 'behind-the-scenes' employee, not a manager or assistant or makeup artist. Not anyone directly involved with any idols. No one off the street knew who you were. Still, over the last almost year or so, you and him became besties. You frequently shared meals together at work, had sleepovers, you even went camping. You were basically glued to each other. It could easily be taken the wrong way by the media and fans. Hell, it gets taken the wrong way by co-workers, other idols, and even his group members. Although they've mostly accepted that's not the case. It's a given with the way you two act though.

Your relationship is definitely platonic, confirming pretty early on that neither of you felt anything more than friendly love for each other. But you both love teasing the other suggestively. You suppose that's partly why you two got so close so quickly. Your personalities are so similar, it's like you share the same singular brain cell sometimes.

"Editing, per usual." You finally reply with a sigh, "We had to cut A LOT out of nexz's new video. They're so high energy, they slip up a lot, especially with the swearing, but nothing we can't handle."

"Gotta love kids." Chan snorts while sipping a beer.

You smile awkwardly in response and look around the room. Everyone is here, all with their preferred beverages, and chatting away or scrolling.

Ji comes back with a drink for you, he knows you're partial to tequila and always keeps it on deck. Normally, you spend every weekend you can together, which sometimes is not as often as either of you would like. Sometimes you'd both head back to your place, and just have all nighters, binge watching anime and gorging yourselves on junk food. More recently, like tonight, you get invited over to hang with him and the rest of the boys.

It usually results in a few drinks and a movie, or talk about work. Sometimes you just play music and talk and vibe, or try to cook food together when you get the munchies... Which more than likely results in Minho taking over because he just can't help himself. However the nights play out, they're always fun, and you're gradually getting closer to the rest of the members too. Although no one can compare to the bond you have with your Jiji.

"I don't wanna watch a movie tonight, my eyes hurt too much." He starts complaining.

"Poor baby." You tease and run your fingers through his hair, laughing.

"When are you two just going to come out with the fact that you're in love?" Seungmin asks.

You roll your eyes, "When dwaekki's fly."

"I can easily make that happen." Changbin laughs.

"We could play a game?" Felix suggests, already looking flushed from the alcohol.

Jeongin gets excited, "Let's do a drinking game! It's been a while."

"I don't believe I've ever played a drinking game with y'all."

Hyunjin hums, "Mm, you haven't. Mostly because we get crazy, we've never brought up the idea."

This piqued your interest, "More crazy than I've already seen? I don't think that's possible."

Minho chimes in this time, "You forget we're a group of men sometimes, I swear. Mix alcohol and suggestive games, it definitely gets 'crazier' than you've seen, inappropriately crazy."

You level him with a smirk, "I'm down."

"That's my y/n!" Ji says, while pulling you to sit in his lap, "Fearless."

You giggle and lean into him while Minho just narrows his eyes at you and purses his lips. Something tells you he's up to something, but you're ready for any challenge.

"Fine. Then we'll play something easy, truth or drink. If someone refuses to answer, they drink. Whoever finishes their drink first loses." Minho says.

"What does the loser have to do?" You ask.

"Pay for everyone's lunch every day for a month!" Changbin says.

"Deal." You say. 

You're an open book, Ji knows this. There's no question you won't answer.

Everyone is up now, getting new drinks & refills before the game starts. You can't help but notice that Chan didn't get up, he looks a little nervous for some reason. He was always the most worried about you being around so much. In the beginning it definitely came across like he didn't like you. Now you know that's not the case... you think. He tolerates you now to say the least. You couldn't blame him too much, he was just protective of his boys. You actually found it incredibly sweet, or maybe it's just that stupid soft spot you have for him.

He always tried to keep you at arms length from the group. Not wanting anyone to get too close to you. Until Jisung put him in his place, as best he could anyways.

You were in Ji's lap, watching Spirited Away. He was drawing imaginary lines and shapes on your back, while you rested your head on his shoulder, facing the tv. His head was resting on top of yours as well, and a blanket covered you both.

Chan walked in seeing this, and nearly had a stroke. He said we were being inappropriate. And specifically made it a point to tell you to be more professional as a member of the staff. Short version: know your fucking place, you're overstepping. 

You scoffed at him, prepared to confront him about his growing disdain towards you. Let him know he's the one being inappropriate, downright childish. But Ji nudged you onto the couch and got to him first.

It was kind of cute watching him standing there, ears becoming red and getting in Chan's face. Cute in the way that it was like a maltese puppy trying to stand up to a doberman. Then he proceeded to yell at him about how he was way out of line. Saying he was being flat out disrespectful and that he was done with the ridiculous way he has been acting about you. The last thing he said was that he didn't know what got into him, and that he'd never seen this side of Chan before. 

Chan was silent, looking intensely into Jisungs eyes. But he never backed down, so Chan poked his tongue to his cheek, then retreated to his room for the whole night. You had to scoop Ji off the floor right afterwards. He had let his knees buckle, and fell to the floor once Chan was gone. Citing that he wasn't sure he was going to live through the night to see the morning sun. Typical dramatic fashion for your best friend. But you soothed him, fluffing up his ego about 'defending your honor'. His words, not yours.

As that night went on though, the tiniest bit of worry coursed through you. Chan hadn't come back out. Not even when the other members came home, trying to knock on his door to greet him. Or when the food was ready to be served, you had even given knocking a try. Only after Hyunjin begged you to, because 'He already doesn't take care of himself. He needs to eat.' No, you didn't see him again that night until you had already walked out the front door. He slipped out behind you shortly after, grabbing you by the wrist and stopping you. 

You thought he was going to continue the argument for a moment, but no, he was apologizing. Not much more was said afterwards, but his apology was genuine and heartfelt, so you accepted it. You two ended up hugging it out, and thank goodness no one saw that, because it was incredibly cringeworthy. He had no more major issues after that. But he was still unexplainably awkward around you, but it's not like you were any better. You two simply didn't know how to interact with each other for longer than 30 seconds. And that was pushing it. You suspected that might not ever go away. He likes to keep his walls high and strong, and you're stubborn at times.

But of course,  despite that stubbornness. You developed some sort of feelings towards him. Feelings you refused to acknowledge, well tried to refuse. You would push those feelings down deep within your heart, put them in a little box, and tape it shut trying to forget it's there. There was no need to pine over the man, he had stay to do that for him, and who knows who else in his life. Somehow that box always ended up ripped open again.

There was never a reason to act on these feelings. Not to mention, you think you'd be breaking SO MANY rules. Putting your job, his job, hell everyone's job at risk. Or worse, making a fool of yourself when he would downright reject you.

You keep watching him, now he's shaking his leg up and down, seeming agitated. Maybe he just doesn't want everyone getting into a vulnerable state of mind while playing? Maybe he's worried somebody will say or do something wrong? That someone will cross a line, as he loves to say?

Trying to ease his negative feelings, and extend yet another olive branch. You toss a throw pillow at him, hitting him in the chest and pulling him out of his thoughts.

He looks at you, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, and you just chuckle nervously at him saying, "Don't worry, it's like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"God how fuckin' corny was that?" Ji teases you, poking your side making you giggle more.

To your relief, Chan is laughing with you, and shaking his head, "I just want them to behave."

"Oh relax, we're all grown. We're all friends. So we'll get to know each other more intimately, big whoop." You shrug.

"Mmm..." He replied, before raising his voice so everyone could hear him, "Whatever is spoken about tonight, doesn't leave this room."

"I swear you're the one with anxiety sometimes, not me." Ji mumbles.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... dad." Hyunjin says as he sits next to you and Ji.

"As if that announcement even had to be made, I swear, and you wonder why we call you old." Seungmin comments.

Once everyone is settled in with their drinks, Minho directs Chan to start the game.

"Jisung, when was the last time you cried?"

He laughed, "You're trying to embarrass me because you know it was this morning, but I am confident and secure in the fact that I am a sensitive man."

He said the last bit with his hand over his heart, and his eyes closed, effectively making everyone chuckle.

"My poor baby, why were you crying?" You question teasingly.

"Please don't bring it up, he'll start blubbering all over again. Stupid, sad, dog rescue videos." Seungmin mumbles.

"Minho!" Ji shouts, pointing at him dramatically, "This question is for you. If you had to kiss someone in this room on the cheek, who would it be?"

"Hyunjin." He said bluntly, making you and everyone else laugh while Hyune just rolled his eyes.

"Would you kiss me back?" He asked him, eyes full of hope and bottom lip jutted out and pouting, trying to act cute. And succeeding, honestly.

Hyunjin acted like he was pondering the question, but ultimately was the first to take a sip from his glass, "I decline to answer."

He looked to you next, a suggestive smirk on his face, making you the next victim, "Y/niiieee..."

"Oi, be respectful." Chan scolds immediately, not liking the look at all.

"All I was going to do was repeat the question!" He said defensively, "Y/n, if you had to choose, who would you kiss on the cheek?"

You tried hard to keep your eyes from trailing over to Chan, a tingly feeling spreading across your skin at the mere thought of innocently kissing his cheek. Instead you chose the easy answer, because it wasn't a lie. You'd also kiss your best friend on the cheek any time.

"My Jiji of course," And you took his face in one hand, squeezing his cheeks between your middle finger and thumb, and plant a loud smooch on each of them, "he probably only asked because he wanted one anyways."

He just chuckles, letting you baby him and Seungmin fake gags.

"Minnieee..." You pause trying to come up with a question, "when you dye your hair next, what color would you want?"

"Green, my entire head green."

"That would look interesting." You laugh.

You all go 'round in circles for a few rounds, completely forgetting about the rules of the game. Having now finished your glasses from casually sipping throughout the game, most of you have switched to occasional shots. You're starting to feel warm and tipsy. Of course the more you all drank, the more the questions started to get more... amorous. Which is exactly how you all assumed this game would go. No wonder Chan was so anxious.

However looking over to him now, he's definitely having a good time. Like every other person, he loosens up while drinking, but tonight he seems even more so.

"Y/n," Chan starts with a sly look making your skin buzz again. Among all of you, he is 100% the most inebriated right now, "when was your first kiss?"

"Yah! He tells us to be respectful, but look how he is after a few drinks!" Changbin yells laughing.

Chan loses it, "You're right Binnie, you don't have to answer or drink." He says in between fits of squeaky laughter. 

You think you could listen to him laugh all day.

You shake your head and snort, "I've answered worse questions playing this game before. I was 13 when I had my first kiss."

Hyunjin nearly spits his drink out, because again, no one is drinking just as punishment anymore, "13?!"

"Well, yeah, it's a pretty normal age in America... I think..." you started to blush, "why, how old were you?" you ask Hyunjin.

He hesitates, but eventually he spoke, "I was 18."

The rest chime in saying they were also 18 or 19. With the exception of Felix who said he was 16.

Without even thinking you start to say, "Aaah, see I was 18 when I-" and you're abruptly stopped with Ji's hand slapping over your mouth.

Your eyes go wide, caught off guard, but understanding as you almost blurted out unnecessary information. Nothing that Ji hadn't known obviously, it's just that everyone else doesn't really know you on that level. 

"Jagi, you only had to answer the one question, adding extra info, that's not how you play the gaaaaame." He says in a sing-song voice, "Hyunjin it's your turn to ask someone."

"No no no no! What was she going to say?" Chan chuckles.

When you looked at him, he winked at you, and you had to stop yourself from going limp in Ji's arms. He knew damn well what you were going to say. Why is he teasing, no torturing you like this?

You peel Ji's hand off your mouth to respond "It's not your turn, you'll have to wait to ask me that."

The group starts laughing and shouting, teasing Chan who is ignoring it all, just staring at you with curious eyes and his tongue in his cheek. Does he know how hot he looks doing that?

"Okay, so then I'll ask you. What were you going to say?" Hyunjin asks calmly, trying to fight the smile off his face.

You pour yet another shot, and knock it back thinking, what the hell, "I was going to say I was 18 when I first hooked up with a man."

Some members looked surprised, the game taking an obvious turn. However Hyunjin, Felix, and Chan started laughing again.

"I knew that's what you were going to say." Felix slurred. 

"Yeah I was definitely teasing you on that, because I knew." Chan followed.

"Mmm, well judging from the shocked faces of everyone else, you two seem to be the only psychics." You try to joke, wanting the attention off of you suddenly.

"No, don't get us wrong, not all of us are as innocent as you think." Seungmin says defensively.

"Oh really now?" You respond, one brow quirking up.

Seungmin just turned red, and sat back in his seat. To which Chan started laughing, yet again. He's a giggly drunk, and you love it.

"Don't tease my puppy, babe." Ji slurred, trying to reach his arm to console Seungmin, but ultimately failing.

"I mean I was 18 too, with the same girl I first kissed." Hyunjin shrugged.

"But what do you mean 'to a man'?" Jeongin asked with a shit eating grin on his face. 

You promptly turned into a tomato, and started choking on air.

"You're not that slow pabo, obviously it means she's been with women too." Ji says, rather loudly and speaking freely, all while patting your back.

You're quiet. It's not like it's a secret, you've never hidden your sexuality. But it never came up in conversation with anyone here, except Jisung.

Wanting to ease the tone, Felix speaks up, "Well I was 18 when I first hooked up with a dude."

"I was 21, but everyone already knows that story." Ji slurred.

The whole conversation triggers another group laughing fit. Except for Chan, who is looking at you with those dark eyes again. And... is he blushing? Or is that the alcohol? He eventually snaps out of whatever daze he was in, and slowly smiles at you reassuringly.

You mentally kick yourself for getting your hopes up, of course he couldn't ever think of you like that. You're imagining things.

"But then, how old were you when you first hooked up with a girl?" Jeongin asked again, genuinely curious.

"A lot younger than 18..." You trailed off laughing, "I'll just say in high school."

"The air is different outside of Korea." Changbin says suddenly, sounding thoughtful.

Hyunjin nearly collapsed laughing, slapping Minho on the knee repeatedly, despite the glare he was shooting him.

"Well I just answered a bunch of questions in a row so that means I get to ask two people a question. And the second person I ask gets the next turn." You say, making up new rules. 

"So... Chan." He looks at you with his eyebrows raised and you just smirk, knowing you're trying to get back at him, "How old were YOU when you lost your virginity?"

He gulps and looks around at the group before answering, "I... was 18."

"Chan-hyung, you never answered us when we would ask you! Why answer her?" Jisung whines.

"I honestly don't know, maybe it's the liquor. None of you ever asked me drunk." He starts giggling.

"Okay so question 2... Binnie!" He gulps and looks at you with wide eyes, "Are you more of a boob guy?" You say grabbing your own, not even really thinking about it, "Or an ass guy?"

Changbin started laughing and answered, "Definitely ass, but I appreciate boobs too, equality."

"I am just learning so much about my fellow members lately." Seungmin whispers.

"Is that a bad thing?" You giggle.

"Not at all, it feels strangely comforting, letting loose like this." He replies and smiles softly at me, "It's been a while."

"It's freeing!" Jeongin yells abruptly, throwing his hands in the air.

"Aye, my question is for you then Min. Have you ever had a wet dream?" Changbin asks.

"... what guy hasn't? Don't all guys get them?" He asks looking around.

Then you chime in again frankly, "Girls can get them too you know."

Why does it feel like you've opened pandora's box on your sex life, in every single aspect?

Ji starts laughing, nodding his head vigorously and you know where this is about to go.

"Really now?" Felix says, mimicking your exact tone from earlier, "What was it about?"

"Mmmm... it's not your turn to ask," Then you turn to Seungmin, "And if you ask me, I will absolutely drink and not answer. No way I'm explaining a sex dream right now."

Seungmin just rolls his eyes and huffs out a laugh.

"But I wanna knooooooow," Jisung whines, "You looked so cute having one last weekend, you never told me what it was about."

Everyone was watching you two closely now, waiting to hear how he knew what you looked like in that situation.

You turned around and smacked his arm, "We weren't going to mention that ever again! Remember?!" You attempt to be angry, but you can't help it and end up smiling.

"Okay, well now I'm curious since you two are bringing this up." Minho says with a glint in his eye.

"Y/n may or may not have had one when I slept over, and I woke up to her moaning and hump--"

This time it was your turn to slap a hand over his mouth, "Jiji, Sungie, my love, my sweet sweet SWEET best friend. I don't want to kill you, but I will." You say in a dulcet tone.

He raised his hands, eyes wide and nodded his head. You couldn't help but laugh, apparently you're a giggly drunk too.

Out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Chan adjusting himself in his pants. But then you reminded yourself that it was just wishful thinking and an alcohol induced hallucination. Horny hallucination. God you needed to get over him and under someone else. This unrequited shit wasn't for you.

"I'm so never going to drop this you know, I wanna know what the hell happened." Minho smirked at you, to which you flipped him off jokingly.

It's Seungmin's turn next, and he's just staring at Jeongin with a blank face, "Have you ever had a one night stand?"

He pauses for a moment and then finally answers, "No, I haven't."

He looked at you now, asking his question, "You know what I have to ask now, right?"

"Go ahead." You challenge, fully prepared to choke down another shot and not answer his question, and he smiles.

"What's one of your kinks?"

You were unprepared for that question. And how could you know he would ask that, these men like to fuck around with your head.

"Relax, I just wanted to see your reaction." He says before chuckling.

You glared at him for a moment, halfheartedly. They think they can just retract questions when they get scared that they went too far. Screw that, you're answering.

"I guess the most simple one I have is edging." You shrug.

"The most simple one?!" Hyunjin asked.

"What are you a masochist? Edging is the worst, feels like torture to me." Ji says.

"But the build up is so delicious, and the end result is so worth it. It's so intense." Felix chimes in, "Choking too, that can be intense." 

"Hm, breath play might actually be my favorite." You admit.

"Damn y/n." Ji says, eyeing you with a smile, "You're full of surprises, even to this day." 

You shrug again, "Everyone has different kinks... What's one of yours?" You ask him.

He ponders for a moment, "I like being dommed sometimes."

"Big surprise." Minho says and you all laugh.

"Good one though," You nod, "That's one of mine too."

"I think I'm an exhibitionist, to an extent of course." Hyunjin says next.

"That's also not a surprise." Minho replies.

You can't help but let your eyes wander over to Chan again, while everyone else is sharing different things they're into in bed. The liquor has everyone speaking loosely. But Chan doesn't seem to care about it anymore.

You find him staring right back at you, that same look in his eyes from earlier, and you feel heat spread in your stomach, and wetness starts to pool in your panties. Maybe you weren't imagining things.

But you don't notice that Ji's observing both of you in his drunken haze. Not too faded to ignore you and Chan eye-fucking each other.

Your heart starts racing the longer you hold eye contact, and you start shifting uncomfortably on his lap, before looking away and deciding to get up.

"Alright... I need some bread to soak up this alcohol, and then I need to get home because it's already 2 in the morning." You say with a shaky breath.

"Yeah, I'm wasted right now," Jeongin says and stands, "Bed's a good idea. Goodnight everyone." And he leaves to his room.

Ji grabs your wrist, preventing you from moving, "You're not going anywhere. We're all drunk, you can't drive and no one can bring you back home."

"Fiiiiiiine," You say, "but I still want bread."

"You and your bread fixation whenever you drink." Minho mumbles, heading to the kitchen anyways to grab you some.

When he comes back he hands it to you and you start munching away happily, doing a little dance.

Meanwhile, Felix is trying to tug Chan's arms to make him stand up, but he's fighting him on it and whining. Clearly he exceeded his limit tonight drinking. He probably won't even remember the looks he was giving you, you think.

"I don't wanna go to bed." Chan whines.

Felix finally succeeds in pulling him up, "C'mon mate, you definitely need to sleep this off. You'll be miserable tomorrow. Let's get you some water too, hmm?"

Chan reluctantly holds his arm, and follows him down the hall, stumbling over his own two feet along the way. You can't help but laugh at the sight.

More of the boys say goodnight and head off to their rooms, but Ji and Minho stay with you in the living room, chatting a little longer before bed.

Ji starts going through his bags, determined that you left some pajamas here from when you slept over previously, and he kept them in a bag to give back to you. He pulls out the nightie, that you honestly forgot you brought here. But you see why you didn't ever wear it at the time. It's dark green, spaghetti straps and has lace along the bust line. It also has slits on each side of your thigh, and only covers you to the middle of your thighs. Your go to sleepware was always nighties or large tees, they're comfortable and sometimes you get hot at night. Mix in the fact that you were drinking tonight? You're already feeling overheated. But wearing this?

"Jiiiiiii, don't you have any t-shirts I can wear?" You whine.

He's already under the covers, fighting sleep, "Sorry babe... haven't done laundry... Nothing clean..."

You whine again before taking it and heading across the hall into one of the bathrooms. It was this or sleep in your sweats, and that idea sounded entirely too suffocating to you.

You slip the nightie on and brush your teeth with your designated toothbrush you had there. Jisungs idea, after you had too much tequila one night and he diligently held your hair back as you got sick.

You sigh as you're leaving, and make your way towards Ji's room. Before you reach the door though, Chan walks out of his room. He's in a black tank top, and red boxer briefs... your eyes immediately trail down and go wide. His outline clear as day. But you change your view quickly, hopefully before he notices.

It doesn't help though, now all you're doing is eyeing his arms, the muscles cut throughout them. The veins that trail all the way down to his hands. God, his hands... What wouldn't you let those hands do to you...

He scratches the back of his head, and the movement snaps you out of your gaze. You find him staring back at you for a second before answering, "Sorry, I'll just..."

You start to shake your head, "No, no. No reason to apologize." You chuckle and start shifting on your feet. You feel the skirt of your nightie swaying with you. It opened the slit wider, and Chan immediately looked down at your exposed thigh. He inhaled quietly, sucking in air through his nose.

Any other day, you'd be scrambling to cover yourself. Feeling insecure and too bare. You don't know if it was the liquor in you, but tonight? Being on display? It turned you on.

You clenched your thighs together, almost involuntarily, and Chan didn't miss that.

Time seemed to be moving too slow. He stepped towards you, nearly closing the gap between you. He's only inches away, and looking down on you. His eyes have that dark, smoldery look again. He raised his hand and brushed the curls off your face and behind your ear. When he rests his palm against your cheek, your eyes flutter shut and you lean into his touch. It's so warm, and comforting. As if it was always meant for you.

When you open your eyes, you can clearly see the lust in his is only growing. He's not holding it back anymore, biting his lip as he stares at you. You almost whimper in anticipation.

"This is your opportunity to walk away if you're not okay with me kissing you." He says lowly.

You closed your eyes, and his lips met yours. The first few seconds were sweet and soft. Almost too innocent for the heat of the moment, but then he deepened it. He was pulling you by the waist into him, running his hands down and resting them on your ass. You could easily feel how hard he was for you, even through the thin fabrics. This time you let the whimper out, and he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. When you tried to do the same, he didn't give you the chance. Instead he slipped his tongue in. It was like he was lost in desire, and greedy for more. You couldn't help it when your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

He groaned and started backing you into the wall, his lips never leaving yours. He grabbed your thighs in each hand, and hoisted you up, slotting himself between them. Your legs naturally wrapped around him, and he started rocking his length against you. His pace was achingly slow, but still delicious.

You moaned and slipped a hand up to the nape of his neck, grabbing a fistful of hair. He breaks the kiss and throws his head back with his eyes closed. He half hisses, half groans, and you can't help but rock your hips against him harder, hoping to hear more. He grips your thigh tighter, and leans down to press a quick kiss to your neck, before licking and sucking on it. He's meeting each roll of your hips with rough thrusts. And even clothed, you feel how perfectly he's rubbing your clit.

Your head is so clouded with need. Need to be touched. Need to touch him. Need to feel him inside of you. You don't even think twice when he glides his hand up your stomach, and over your breasts. He gives one a light squeeze before moving up to wrap his fingers around your neck, and your brain loses all sense for a moment.

He's just resting his hand there, but you wish he'd do more. You're not sure if this man knows just how pliant you are for him right now.

Then he brings his lips to your ear and whispers, "Can I touch you?"

His warm breath gives you chills, and you nod your head as best as you can. But that doesn't suffice him, he stops his movements against you and his grip around your throat tightens. You think you could probably get off on it if he tightens his fingers just a bit more, but he doesn't, instead he says, "I'm going to need words, babygirl."

Your hips buck into him, and you breathe out a quiet "Yes. Please..."

With that, he yanks your face closer to his by your neck. He's squeezing ever so slightly tighter around your throat. He bites your lip and you groan. But he's quick to silence you with his tongue.

Letting go, he trailed his hand back down your body and to your core. Slowly he started to rub you through the thin lace. You were so sensitive, that when he found your clit and pressed a circle into it. You couldn't help but breathe out his name. He pushed your panties to the side, and when he felt you for the first time you felt him smile against your lips.

"Babygirl... fuck, you're so wet for me." 

And as he whispered that, he slipped a finger in you. He set a steady pace, dragging against your walls with a curl. Each pump hitting your sweet spot, and the heel of his hand creating delightful friction against your swollen bud. His breathing was heavy in your ear, breaking through all your helpless whimpering. When he added a second finger, you couldn't hold back anymore.

"Chan..." You moaned louder this time, while simultaneously letting your head drop against the wall with a thud.

He pulled his lips off of you, eyes wide when he met yours. He started blinking as if he was coming back to reality. When he looked into your eyes again, he looked startled.

"What's wrong?" You pant, feeling hot and dizzy, wishing he would keep moving his hands.

Instead, he quickly slips his fingers out of you, and sets your feet on the floor. Then he backs away.

"I'm sorry, y/n... I don't know what came over me, that was incredibly inappropriate and out of character." Chan mumbled.

Your heart sinks, as you feel the sting of rejection. Tears threatened to well in your eyes, and you immediately felt the oncoming headache from holding them back. You shouldn't feel so emotional and upset. This was all spur of the moment. But you do, you feel devastated.

Regardless, you clear your throat, "I understand." You force an unsettling chuckle out, when a sob threatens to escape instead.

He puts on a blank face that feels so cold, and responds with "Don't forget to drink some water, stay hydrated... I'll be heading to bed now, you should too."

All you really want to say is don't leave, because you want to finish what was started. Because you've wanted this for so long. Because the box you kept away in the depths of your heart had ripped open once again. And all the languished emotions were here, front and center, aching to bear it all to him. To let him see. Confess. But that would be selfish, he's clearly uncomfortable with it all. He probably regrets it. An alcohol induced affair. In his eyes, a complete mistake. 

So instead you say, "Okay."

Because that's all you can muster before the tears start to fall. You turn away,  going back to facing Ji's door. 

"Goodnight y/n... Sleep well." He says, and puts a tentative hand on your shoulder.

You shrug it off, and escape to Ji's bedroom. To your surprise he's sitting up in bed, and ushering you come to him with his arms open and bottom lip pouted out.

You run to him, a bit dramatically and fall a part in his arms. But you can't help it, you sealed these emotions away for too long. You were too hurt at the moment to even try pushing them back down.

Jisung is your life saver, he's comforting you, rubbing his fingers on your scalp and rocking you back and forth to try and calm you. He gives you time before you have to explain why exactly you're having a melt down.

"Chan's an idiot." He finally says.

And you lean back to look at him, confused on how quickly he's put two and two together.

"Well you weren't exactly quiet. Between your exaggerated moans and his animalistic grunting right outside my door, of course I heard it." He rolled his eyes jokingly and that earned a laugh from you.

You smacked him lightly, "I was lost in the moment... don't judge me."

"Jagi..." He says, and wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, "You've liked him for so much longer than a moment."

Your heart starts pounding faster again. How could he know that. It's the one thing you've kept from him, from everyone, hell you even denied it to yourself for as long as possible. Was it that obvious? Who else knows? You go to speak, fear written across your face.

"No. You were not obvious, in fact you're an amazing actor. I'm sure none of the other members noticed, and definitely no one else at work knew." He answers before you can even get words out.

You nod slowly, "So then, how'd you know?"

He smiled proudly, "I'm a people watcher, I see all."

You smack him again, a little harder this time.

"Alright, alright, but I really did see all the looks you'd give him when no one else was watching... I know what longing looks like, and..." he trailed off.

You knew that wasn't all, "And?"

"Aaaaand... maybe that night you had that wet dream. You were moaning his name while humping the pillow..."

"You never told me that!" You shoved your head into your hands, distraught.

"Well I didn't want to embarrass you! I honestly didn't think you looked at any of us that way until then. Like I said, a good actor. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready to."

You sighed, "I'm sorry. It's just a stupid crush, it'll pass."

"You're grown, you don't have to apologize to anyone for liking someone. But y/n," He cupped your cheek forcing you to look at him again, "this isn't just a simple crush, is it?"

With that question, you felt the tears spilling all over again. He pulled you to lay down with him, holding you tight against him and letting you cry it all out. Somewhere between his low humming, and your quiet weeping, you fell asleep.

When you blink the sleep away from your eyes the next morning, you're still entangled with Ji. He's literally wrapped around you like a koala.

You snort out a laugh and go to check the time on your phone. 7:30 am, entirely too early. You decide to try and fall back asleep, but last night's events rush back to you. Dread fills your chest, and your fight or flight kicks in. You're trying to gently escape Ji's hold, and not hyperventilate. The latter is more difficult but, since that man can sleep through anything, you were able to succeed.

You get changed back into your clothes, and leave a note for him saying that you're leaving and you'll text him when you get home. You can't bear to face Chan, let alone anyone else who might've heard you two last night. So you decide to skip out on the usual coffee and breakfast routine. You all have that tradition after a drunken night, but you know Ji will cover for you with everyone anyways.

You're rushing down the hall, wanting to grab your things and head for the door. Panic is starting to bubble over, and you're haphazardly covering yourself up to be unnoticeable. As you're slipping the mask over your face, a voice stops you.

"Morning... don't you want to stay for breakfast?"

You can't bring yourself to look at Chan, those words only setting the box of emotions in your heart on fire. You know he only means it in the way that it is an unbroken tradition. No matter how sick one of you gets, group breakfast is a must for recuperation. No one has skipped it in the months you've been doing it. We all take care of each other. But the idea makes your mouth bitter, because you wish it was just you two. Alone. Making breakfast the morning after earth shattering sex. And the fact he doesn't mean it in that way in the slightest makes tears prick back into your eyes.

Yes, you know you're being petty. You should stick it through for your friends. Take a page from Chan and act like nothing ever happened. You just can't find it inside you to care, you need to go home and lick your wounds before facing anyone here again. Call it childish, but you didn't care.

You're struggling to find words and just blurt out, "No thanks." And rush out the door, heading to the safety of your car.

You left Chan standing there. Unbeknownst to you, hurting just as much.

Special thank you to @jeonginsleftcheek who encouraged me through finishing this! I had finished it, and then accidentally deleted the entire ending. But in turn, that was a good thing I think... because now there'll be a part 2! If you'd like to be added to a taglist, let me know and I'll start one! Feedback is always cherished, but be gentle pleeeeeeeease ♡

[chelseasdagger]

Teacher

Frank Castle x Inexperienced F!Reader

Summary: Frank's a part of your friend group and invites you to hang out one day, unaware of your massive crush on him. During the visit, you let it slip that you're very inexperienced, and he offers to teach you everything you've missed out on.

Warnings: age gap (reader is in her early 20s), mentions of sex, drinking, and smoking

Author's Note: Oh my god! It's finally here, my first fic series! I've had this idea for months now and I've finally got the courage to write it out and post it. I wanna say a huge thank you to @chellestrash and @suitsofwo3 for their continuous support on this series! Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated :) Leave a comment or shoot me an ask!! I'd love to hear what you think!

Word Count: 5k

​​To say you had feelings for Frank Castle would be a gross understatement. It was truly nothing short of a schoolgirl crush, an all consuming infatuation that made you want him even more. Being anywhere near him made you feel like you were back in grade school with an uncontrollable flutter of butterflies in your stomach, and you knew you had to at least try and attempt to cease their movements.

But knowing and acting are two very different things, and you weren’t even sure if you wanted to stop them. Not when every smile he flashes your way makes them beat their tiny wings so fast that you feel weak in the knees. You knew logically it couldn’t end well, not with him being in your friend group, but you had a feeling you could keep up the friendly facade and not let it slip that your feelings for him are much more intense. 

After all, he’s confident, handsome, and much older than you. How hard could it be?

“How hard could it be,” you repeat, whispering to yourself in the car. Your eyes are trained on the road in front of you as you listen while your GPS navigates you through the city. Frank had invited you over to his place after the last get-together the group had, where you admitted to the fact that you hadn’t seen his, apparently, favorite movie from the ‘80s. It was almost too perfect of a setup and you curse the universe for planning it all. Of all the movies you haven’t seen, you had to confess to this one?

In your defense, it was nearly impossible to decline his offer when his charm flared up like it had that night. Boisterous laughter, crinkles by his eyes when he grinned, and a, “Come on, you’ve gotta see it!” that was so warm and welcoming it had you agreeing before you thought about the implications of that damn nod you gave him.

Thinking back on that night, you nearly miss your turn onto the road that leads to his apartment. You catch it just in time though and as the automated voice informs you that he lives on the left, the anxiety sets in. You begin to focus on your breathing and you find an open parking spot right next to his black van, exactly where he said there would be. Mentally thanking him for eliminating some of the pressure of finding where to park, you pull into the spot and look towards the door with the metal numbers of his address bolted on the plaque beside it.

Once the car is parked and the ignition is off, you close your eyes and inhale enough air until your chest puffs out. “It’s just Frank,” you reassure yourself, attempting to slow down your heart rate. It does little use as his face flashes in your mind when you speak his name, so you decide not to delay the meeting any longer.

With a dry mouth and fidgeting hands you make your way to his apartment, giving yourself one last full breath before raising your hand to knock on his door. Your knuckles sound out against the wood, and there’s only a second of silence before you hear a muffled, “Coming!”

The brief moment to plaster a relaxed smile on your face passes all too quickly and you’re suddenly met with Frank’s warm grin. Failing to ignore the way he’s leaning against the doorframe, you can’t help your eyes immediately glancing at his bicep as it stretches the fabric of his sleeve. You quickly force your gaze back to his face and give yourself a mental shake.

“Hey, kid, glad you could make it,” he greets you kindly. You’d be lying if you said the nickname he reserved for you wasn’t bittersweet. It made you feel special that it only left his lips in reference to you, but logically you knew it was because you were the youngest in the group. The truly bitter part was hearing it and feeling your heart sink that little bit lower; you wondered if he ever saw you as more, if you’d ever be able to satisfy your steadfast crush.

But those spiral sessions are best had at home, so you push away the thoughts and focus on spending time with him. All you’ve ever wanted was time alone with him and you’re not sure when you’ll get the chance again after today.

“Yeah, of course,” your genuine smile takes over, ”I had to see what all the fuss was about.” He chuckles at your joke before stepping aside, gesturing for you to come in. Squeezing past his body, you step into the living room of his home. It’s bigger than you expected, housing a sectional couch and wooden coffee table in the center. There’s also a large television mounted to the wall that’s clearly the main focus of the room. One sweatshirt and a lone blanket are draped on the back of the couch, making up the only clutter in the space. You don’t realize Frank is watching you take it all in until he gently clears his throat.

“Is it as glorious as you expected?” His voice sounds out from behind you and you turn to face him. There’s a smirk on his face and you find yourself chuckling to avoid shrinking into yourself.

“Just… different than I pictured is all,” you gesture vaguely to the open space of the room. There’s a scoff before he walks past you and towards the light grey couch.

“‘Clean’, you mean?” There’s a huff surrounding the question as he plops down onto the couch.

“Well…” you trail off, tilting your head to the side. A smile slowly takes over his face as you tease him.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he says as he pats the cushion of the couch. You follow his instruction, opting to keep one seat between the two of you. There’s a pause for a moment and you let your eyes wander to his thighs. His legs are slightly spread on the couch and it’s hard to ignore the way the fabric of his denim jeans are struggling to make room for the muscles of his thighs.

“So you really haven’t seen the greatest film of all time?” He begins again, disbelief clear in his tone. His voice makes your line of sight shoot back up to his face and it’s now your turn to wear a smile.

“You sure are creating a lot of hype for this movie. I hope it doesn’t disappoint,” you laugh softly. His eyes grow wide as a look of shock takes over his face.

“‘Disappoint’? You kiddin’ me? I’m pretty sure this movie paved the way for cinema.” He gets up excitedly, walking towards one of the thin bookshelves that frame the television. His fingers scan the titles quickly, trailing down the rows until he finds one. He pulls the case out from where it was sandwiched between the others before turning around to show it off with a wave of his hand.

“Made sure to rewind it for you yesterday.” You try to ignore the way your brain jumps to conclusions at those few words. The thoughts are loud, however, and you hear them despite your wishes. He really thought this ahead? Was he actually looking forward to seeing you?

Frank pulls the tape from out of its case and kneels down in front of the television. There’s a large, grey VCR lying on the ground and he gently pushes the tape past the small hinge, a tiny whirring sound escaping as it accepts the tape.

“God, I’m really showing my age here, aren’t I?” He nods towards the old technology on the wooden floor.

“I mean, I’ve seen my parents use them before,” you answer honestly.

“Jesus Christ,” he grumbles, bringing his palm to cover his face before dragging it down his cheeks. The giggle that escapes you is involuntary, he looks so cute each time you tease him. You love these moments and how effortless it is to joke around with him, unlike when your usually constant bashfulness is present. 

Once the tape is in, the static on the screen crackles to life and there’s a few seconds before the black fades into a dusty orange sky. As the opening scene begins to play, you feel like you recognize the actors’ names as they appear over the footage. Nothing immediately comes to mind though, so you ignore the nagging feeling of trying to place them and focus on the film.

That proves to be more difficult than you intended. Admittedly, all you can think about is his scent lingering in the space around you. It’s almost as if the couch is bathed in his smell and it feels as though you’re drowning in it in the best way. You halfway register the dialogue sounding out and decide to at least entertain the idea of paying attention. There’s a shot of the inside of an airport, and you watch as the word Diehard comes across the center of the screen. Chuckles erupt from you and Frank’s immediately turning to face you with a confused pout.

“You think Diehard is the greatest movie of all time?” Your words are unintentionally soaked in disbelief and you swear you can see his defensive guard come up.

“You tryna’ tell me it’s not?! Cause it’s clearly up there!”

“I don’t know, Frank,” you start. Each time the film is brought up around you, you hear that it’s either the best or it’s overrated. You just didn’t expect him to be this much of a fan.

“That’s right! You don’t know!” He seems proud of his argument and even laughs towards the end of his sentence. You shake your head as your smile begins to hurt your cheeks due to how long you’ve been wearing it for. He reaches for the old remote, its buttons faded with its age, and the screen halts to a stop as he presses pause.

“I’ll be right back,” Frank explains with a grunt as he pushes himself off of the couch. You turn and watch him walk to the kitchen, your eyes lingering on his broad shoulders and how they almost brush the open doorframe as he passes through it. Not wanting to let your thoughts continue any more down the path they’re already on, you force your attention back to the television and wait for him to return.

“Here you are,” his deep voice sounds out a moment later and you look up at him. He’s sitting down onto the couch cushion with the fingers of his right hand wrapped around the necks of two beer bottles. He stretches his arm towards you, offering one of the drinks and you’re distracted by the veins running up the inside of his forearm.

“What? S’there somethin’ wrong?” he asks confusedly, his own gaze glancing between your clasped hands and the bottles. You snap out of your trance and stare at the beers again, racking your brain for any excuse to use to decline the drink.

“No, thank you, I’m all good,” your voice comes out stiff. Real smooth, you curse yourself as you see Frank’s expression change. His eyebrows pull together as he tries to understand your sudden and strange behavior.

“So what’s your deal, huh?” he begins, setting the bottles down and leaning back into the couch. His entire body is turned towards you and it’s clear that you’re the new subject of the conversation. You swallow thickly, your nerves already acting up.

“Never seen you drink, never seen you smoke… Hell, I haven’t seen you do much of anything,” he continues, listing his examples off on each finger. “Why is that? You some goody two shoes or something?” he finishes with a raspy chuckle. He reaches for his beer, popping the lid off with the opener from the coffee table and taking a long sip as his eyes meet yours over the glass in his hand.

You wish you could come up with something, anything, to get you out of this situation before you’re forced to confess to him. You open your mouth, expecting your tongue to string the words together for you, but there’s nothing but silence in the room. Quickly, you begin grasping for an explanation, only to be left stuttering over your words. Frank’s eyebrows raise and there’s an amused smirk tugging at his lips as he puts his drink down again.

“Uh oh,” he laughs quietly, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He squints at you, tilting his head to the side as his eyes flicker all around your face. “There’s somethin’ else there,” he whispers mostly to himself, “gotta tell me now, sweetheart.”

If none of this was enough to make your face grow warm, it certainly is now that you’ve heard the pet name leave his mouth. You feel as if you’re curling inward on yourself and you hate that the ground won’t show you mercy by opening up and swallowing you whole. Fidgeting with your fingers, you wonder if there’s any lie you can try and deliver confidently this time. But who are you kidding? You were never good at it, and it’s best to just rip off the bandaid.

With one last glance up at him, you see he’s not going to budge until he gets an answer, so you give him what he’s looking for. “Yeah, that’s… ‘my deal’,” you phrase his words in air quotes. “I haven’t really done, well, anything, and I don’t really know where to start,” you admit, still not looking him in the eyes. Frank nods as he lets your voice fill the air and you notice him making another curious face.

“When you say ‘anything’, what exactly do you mean?” he asks in a softer tone this time, no hint of teasing in his words. It’s then that you finally meet his brown eyes and see the kindness in their warm color. You bring in a deep breath and prepare yourself for the worst possible reaction to your following words.

“Um—,” you cut yourself off with a sigh, letting out all the air in your lungs and attempting to stall the embarrassment a moment longer. “Okay, like drinking, smoking, drugs…” you continue the list and watch him nod after each addition. “Never had sex, never—,”

“Bullshit,” his rumbly voice interrupts you, shaking his head in disbelief. The pout that forms on your lips is involuntary; you feared he wouldn’t have believed it, but you suppose it’s better than him teasing you. From the corner of your eyes you watch his lips part and his jaw go slack as he realizes what you said was the truth.

“Christ, you… you’re serious?” he questions as he looks at you in shock. You only nod silently, not sure how to continue from here. There’s a long pause where Frank is still as stone, remaining silent but seemingly trying to process the new information he’s discovered. The air feels so thick you worry that if you open your mouth to speak you’ll only choke.

The sound of a rumbly chuckle fills the air and you look up to see his wide smile. He’s dragging his palm down his mouth and rubbing his jaw as he shifts his hips forward and leans back into the cushions once more. You feel anger bubbling up and it quickly replaces the mortification that had been consuming you for the past few minutes.

“Screw you! I knew you wouldn’t have taken it seriously.” You cross your arms over your chest as you turn away from him. You felt stupid for sharing this with him, and now he has the audacity to laugh? Over something this personal?

“No, no, sweetheart, hey—,“ the pet name again does nothing to dull the burning under the skin of your cheeks. “I wasn’t teasing it’s just…,” he sighs heavily and shrugs his shoulders, “it’s a surprise, y’know?” 

As much as you want to stay upset with him, you’re not sure your resolve can last that long. You attempt to maintain your defensive position and don’t dare soften the angry glare you’re shooting at him.

“Oh, don’t give me that look,” he starts, but you don’t budge. “C’mon, I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting it, s’all. Kinda hard to believe, honestly.” Your head perks up at the last sentence and you shoot him a look of pure disbelief.

“Yeah, well… you’re obviously the only one who thinks that,” you mumble, the self-deprecating words falling past your lips before you even register them. Frank sighs deeply and you notice the way his eyes are flickering all around your face, presumably trying to gauge how upset you are.

“It’s not like I want this,” you huff, deflating into the couch, “but now it’s like even if I want to try stuff, I don’t know what I’m doing.” You begin picking at your fingers as the insecurity grows with his silence. “It’s like everybody did the crash course in high school and they have experience. I don't even know where to start…” As you trail off, the silence becomes deafening and you find yourself missing his laughter because at least that was something.

“Aaaaand I said too much. Sorry, it’s just something that’s frustrated me for years and… yeah,” you decide it’s better to end the conversation than wait on a reply that won’t come.

“You didn’t say too much,” he finally speaks up, and the weight on your chest begins to dissipate. “Was lettin’ you get it all out,” he explains. He holds his chin between his thumb and index finger, grazing his jaw lightly and tilting his head as he thinks over your confession. You find yourself subconsciously holding your breath as you prepare for the worst possible response he could give you.

“Said you didn’t know where to start, right? Why don’t we start with something small, hmm? How about that beer?” Frank nods his head once in the direction of the abandoned bottle he had grabbed for you. You eye it hesitantly and think over the worst that could happen. Coming up with virtually nothing, you nod back to him, deciding it would be one small victory to deal with today. 

As you wrap your fingers around the bottle, you raise your hand and turn to Frank. He mimics you, lifting his own in the air before clearing his throat.

“To…” he trails off, trying to come up with something as a cheer. His eyes drift off to somewhere else in the room, his lips parted as his eyebrows pull together. You can’t help the giggle that escapes you at his very serious thinking face. Not wanting him to hurt himself from racking his brain much longer, you speak up.

“To trying new things,” you say confidently, and the second the words leave your mouth you’re already regretting them. You physically wince at your word choice and now it’s Frank’s turn to stifle a laugh. “Yeah, that was pretty lame,” you admit to him. “Sounded better in my head.”

“Think it sounded perfect,” he replies before tilting his bottle towards you. You follow his lead as he brings the drink to his lips and you don’t think twice before tilting your own head back. The second the flavor hits your tongue you can feel your face scrunching up involuntarily. You bring the bottle away immediately and your lips purse at the taste in your mouth. Frank’s laughter rumbles out deep from his chest and you watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows it down with no reaction. 

“Attagirl, one thing down. That wasn't too hard now was it?” he speaks once he’s brought the glass bottle away from his mouth. Thankfully, the nasty beer is enough to distract you from reacting to his praise.

“You didn’t tell me it tasted like piss!” you exclaim, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand.

“This is actually one of the good ones,” you watch as he takes another swig. “But you’re right, it’s not all that great,” he admits before licking his lips and looking at you.

Any residual awkwardness you felt only moments before has all but vanished and you feel comfort just being here with him. You smile softly to yourself as you brush your thumb along the curved glass of the neck of the bottle.

“Thank you for this,” you speak up, “it feels nice to get something crossed off the list.”

“Any time, kid,” his voice is raspy and you try to dissuade your stomach from doing flips at his tone.

The smile on your face grows wider in the silence, feeling a small amount of pride bubbling in your chest knowing that you tried something new. It doesn’t seem like such a big feat once you’ve climbed over the hill, but there’s always been that fear that keeps you paralyzed and unable to even attempt to move forward. You truly meant your words, you’re thankful that he gave you that little push.

“Y’know, I could help… with the list, I mean.” You’re almost certain you’ve never felt your heart beat quite this hard before. Frank waits until your eyes have locked with his before he speaks slowly, carefully chooses his words as he continues. “O-Only if you want, obviously. Just… said you wish you knew how to do it the first time, right? So it wouldn’t be such a big deal?” You hesitantly nod, still not wanting to assume what he’s proposing until he explicitly says it.

“Yeah, so I figured we could have you practice? Make sure you know what you’re doing before you get out there,” he ends his sentence with a shrug, as if it’s the most nonchalant offer.

“What?” you desperately try to ignore the way your words shake slightly. “Like you’d teach me?” You can’t even help the incredulous tone your words are soaked in. You can hardly even fathom the idea of Frank Castle being the one to show you the ropes, much less actually acting those things out with him.

“Yeah? If that’s alright?” He smiles gently and you feel your body beginning to relax some. “Just… I saw how much it meant to you and I wanna help,” he explains further, and you swear you’ve never seen sincerity like the way it’s shining in his warm, brown eyes.

You swallow thickly as you think over his proposition. It feels like this is some sort of dream; you’re waiting for your alarm to ring out as your vision slowly fades, waking up in your bedroom alone. But no amount of pinching your skin will rip you from this moment. It feels too good to be true, but it’s happening regardless. He’s waiting on an answer and it’s honestly the best offer you could think of being handed to you on a silver platter.

“And hey, you absolutely don’t have to say—”

“Yes,” you finally decide. You can’t even believe you said it.

“You sure?” he asks again, his eyes flickering between your own. You think it’s sweet how he tries to make sure you’re certain of your decision. You smile widely as you nod at him, the butterflies returning to your stomach once again.

“Also, we don’t, like, have to have sex… just so you know. I know that’s a lot, but I can help with the stuff leading up to it?” You grin and nod again and Frank laughs lightly at your response. “Just wanna make sure you’re comfortable with it.”

“I am! I’m just excited, sorry,” you fidget with the hem of your shirt in an attempt to channel all the newfound energy elsewhere. Frank’s chuckle grows louder and you wonder if you imagined the soft “cute” that was muttered under his breath.

“So…” he speaks up and you turn to face him completely. “How would you feel about crossin’ something else off the list?” You nod immediately as all the nervousness from before switches to excitement while it courses through you.

“Okay…” he laughs softly at your quick reaction. “Let’s see,” he pauses for a moment as he thinks before his eyes light up with an idea. “You ever been kissed?” You feel the familiar shyness creeping up again, but you choose to push it back down. Instead, you just softly shake your head and watch as he nods in understanding.

“You want to try it?” he asks, his lips curling into a smirk. You hum an agreement and watch as he moves a bit closer to you on the couch. Once again you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, for this to be some sort of joke. But Frank only waits for you to take the initiative to close the space between the two of you.

Now that you’re facing each other on the couch, you can feel your heart pounding against your ribcage as you wait for him to make the first move. He smiles reassuringly before raising his hand and cradling the side of your neck. His thumb brushes your cheek as his long fingers curl around the back, holding you gently in place.

“You sure you want this?” he confirms. Again, you nod eagerly.

“I gotta hear you say it, sweetheart. That’s my rule,” he explains.

“Oh…” you whisper as you glance between his eyes and his lips, “yes.” You feel your heart swelling at the fact that he wants to make sure you truly want what he’s offering. His eyes are fixed on your mouth, muttering one last, “Okay,” before leaning forward.

The second his lips touch yours, you’re surprised at how soft they are. He’s gentle with his movements and softly sucks your lower lip between his own. It only takes a moment for you to kiss him back, careful to only mimic his actions and still let him lead. The kiss is warm and sweet and you feel the blood rushing through your cheeks and tingling down your neck. His thumb catches your bottom lip and pulls it down slowly, breaking the kiss. Frank breathes gently as he licks his lips, his eyes flickering between yours.

“How was that?” he asks, his breath fanning over your mouth as he speaks.

“It was good. I-I liked it,” you smile sheepishly, subconsciously pulling your bottom lip between your teeth to savor the feeling.

“Yeah?” he tilts his head as the question leaves his mouth, his eyes squinting as he glances from your eyes to your mouth. You once again nod before you even think to do it.

“Alright, now I wanna give you a real one.”

“A real one?” you pout and stare at him confusedly.

He only smirks before leaning forward again, pressing his lips to yours harder. This time, his palm guides your jaw to tilt your head back as he deepens the kiss. The stubble lining his jaw scratches at your cheeks, and the prickling has you melting under his touch. You try your best to keep up, but his scent feels like it’s truly suffocating you now; you can hardly kiss him back with how overwhelmed you are. The next thing you register is the wet heat of his tongue brushing along your bottom lip, slowly tracing the shape before he pushes it inside your mouth. His tongue glides against your own and there's a small moan that escapes from your throat.

All too soon his lips leave yours and you open your eyes at the loss of contact. Frank’s own eyes are still shut and you watch as he clenches his jaw, almost as if he’s holding himself back from something.

“Are you okay?” you ask gently, worried you messed up somehow.

“Yeah… just, that was the sweetest god damn thing I’ve heard.” His voice is so deep it sends a shiver down your spine. Out of all the times you’ve dreamt of having your first kiss, you never thought it would’ve been that good. And to think, an impulse decision to watch a movie with him led you to this plan to gain experience. You find yourself already missing the feeling of his tongue, of the scratch that his stubble gave when he deepened the kiss.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he knocks your knee softly with his own, attempting to grab your attention. “You’re being too quiet.”

“I just, well, I wanna do it again,” you admit, looking away nervously. In one sudden motion Frank tugs you into his lap and you yelp as you wrap your arms around his neck. He laughs softly as he stares up at you but doesn’t waste a second before kissing you even quicker than before. There’s only a few chances you can take to catch your breath because he hardly breaks the kiss. You never thought someone as attractive as him would want to kiss you this much, but confidence rushes through your body as his affection continues.

Frank’s mouth begins to wander, his lips finding new space that had otherwise been untouched. The corner of your mouth, your chin, your jaw—he never stops kissing you until he gets to your throat. From there, his lips part and he begins sucking on your neck. A shaky gasp leaves you as his teeth make purchase on your skin, softly biting before brushing his tongue over the mark.

“Done two new things,” he mutters, his lips moving around the words but never leaving your body. “How’s it feel?”

“I really like this,” you say breathlessly as you feel his teeth gently graze the sensitive skin of your neck. He hums into your throat, the vibration setting your skin alight before you finish your thought, “You can keep the beer though.”

Frank’s chuckle gets caught in his throat, resulting in the cutest snort you’ve ever heard. He presses soft kisses along your collarbone and looks up at you with sweet, brown eyes.

“Sure, kid, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

[dr-spectre]

Hey guys! I wanna share something REALLYYYYYY important with you all!!!

So, I was having a nice conversation with an editor from Inkipedia. Really friendly individual, we had a nice civil discussion and it was great to hear out their points and wiki related things. I learnt some cool things and how Nintendo operates in certain areas.

I asked them about some stuff relating to Callie and localisations, and they told me that the "Hypnoshades" are actually just called "sunglasses," in the original Japanese version of Splatoon 2 and theres no mention of brainwashing OR hypnosis. All of the events in the original japanese version of Splatoon 2 seemed to be a lot more vague and up for interpretation which i found to be very interesting!!

However.... the editor told me that the English localisation line from DJ Octavio, "I remixed Callie's brain!" is actually different in the original japanese version.

GUESS WHAT DJ OCTAVIO SAID...

"Aori-Chan is so simple minded! I was able to brainwash her with ease."

Nintendo JP.... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! I WAS YOUR BIGGEST DEFENDER!! WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT IN THE ORIGINAL JAPANESE VERSION... CALLIE WAS STILL BRAINWASHED?!?!

Oh I'm gonna be sick....

You know, this ultimately just proves something to me.

Splatoon 2's writing... just fucking sucks. Straight up, it's ass. And not the good kind. It's poorly written and you wanna know why? It's set up is REALLY GOOD!!!! but it's pay off is the most uninteresting, vile, disrespectful, childish, lazy, DISGUSTING THING THEY COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE!!!

All this interesting set up with Callie and having this arc where she's so lonely and busy that she ultimately runs away to the Octarians, joins them willingly and ends up getting hypnotised, resulting in her becoming more emotional and seeping into the darkness in her heart... Marie, having to come and remind her of the good times they had together... to reignite the positivity in Callie's heart... to repair what they have broken... to have a fresh start...

But did this setup get paid off in a satisfying and emotionally deep way? No.... they choose to TREAT CALLIE LIKE A FUCKING MORON AND FOR WHAT REASON?!?!?! ARE NINTENDO JUST SCARED OF DEPTH?!?! WHATS THEIR FUCKING ISSUE?!?!?!

ITS SO DISRESPECTFUL!!! SHE LOST THE FINAL SPLATFEST AND YOU CONTINUE TO BEAT HER DOWN?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! WHAT WERE THE WRITERS COOKING?!?!?! GET THEM OUT OF THE KITCHEN DAMN IT!!!!

They literally picked the most uninteresting and disgusting fucking outcome possible and I genuinely don't know why. There's SOOOO much concept art and multiple sunken scroll entries that showcase this depth for Callie, AND THEY THREW IT AWAY!!!

But you know what? Im gonna continue to hold my stance about the events of splatoon 2 because I would rather like to look at the story in a more interesting and narratively fulfilling way than what Nintendo is trying to push. Sure, it might not be what Nintendo said happened, but I would rather look at the events in a different, more character rich way for my own fucking sanity and enjoyment. I am going to continue to say fuck you to the notion that "Callie was brainwashed and kidnapped" because I like stories where characters go through character arcs and growth!!!! I hate it when that depth and agency for my favourite character in this franchise IS TAKEN AWAY!!!!

I would rather live in a world where Fresh Start ACTAULLY MAKES SENSE AS A SONG!! I would rather live in a world where OCTAVIO ISNT A FUCKING UNREDEEMABLE EVIL MONSTER THAT CUTTLEFISH WOULD NEVER WANNA SEE AGAIN AFTER HEARING WHAT HE DID TO CALLIE!!!!

I would rather live in a world where Splatoon 3 feels more satisfying to me and the Squid Sisters get proper send offs and pay offs to their arcs from the start of Splatoon 1.

I would rather live in a world where Tidal Rush is more emotional and personal, THAN SOME BULLSHIT "oh we gotta save callie because she's a dumb idiot and she's an object to grab because it's a video game!!! Ha ha!!!"

I would rather live in a world where Callie is given a proper character arc, INSTEAD OF GETTING KIDNAPPED AND THESE AWFUL AND DISGUSTING THINGS DONE TO HER! ONLY FOR IT TO GET REVERSED SO EASILY WITH NO MENTION OF THESE EVENTS EVER AGAIN!!!!!

UGH.... I'm actually so angry. I hate this so much.

When Splatoon 4 comes out, I'm not gonna hold back on my criticisms. I want change out of these writers because the current format we have for Splatoon stories is actual dogshit and I'm so tired of it. Everyone in the community is tired of the cool and interesting character details being pushed to the side and hidden away because Nintendo fucking hates narratives and only saves it for RPGS for some ungodly reason.

Im tired of important character details giving shoved off in optional and hard to find content. I'm tired of these awful implications and events being spread like wildfire in the community because daddy Nintendo said so.

Im done.

[descendant-of-truth]

If I may throw my hat into the ring here, I think the source of a lot of problems in the writing of Miraculous can be boiled down to its confusion over its target demographic.

There are two very clear audiences the show is trying to cater to:

Grade school girls around 5-10

Teens/young adults around 15-20

And this results in some. unique conflicts in the show's internal logic.

Because it's a superhero show for little kids, it's full of fun, bright colors, wacky villain-of-the-week designs, and the characters are all very straightforward with exaggerated personality traits. The cheerful, clumsy, scatterbrained girl protagonist, her utterly charming and goofy (but slightly clueless) love interest, her cool best friend, her mean bully, etc.

This extends to the romance; the show is so comedic that Marinette's nervous crush and Cat Noir's flirting are played up for laughs. Their more "problematic" behaviors read as cartoon shenanigans first and foremost, which I do think was the intention - they're both shown as being more than a little ridiculous for acting this way, so they're not exactly trying to encourage people to emulate them. They're allowed to be genuinely wholesome, too, because it's nice to give the kids something to go "aww!" at, but it's not meant to be more complicated or deep than that.

And of course, it's gotta follow a sweet and simple episodic formula! A conflict in Marinette's civilian life, an inciting incident to get a side character upset enough for Hawk Moth to turn into a villain, Ladybug and Cat Noir show up, there's fun banter, Ladybug uses her Lucky Charm to figure out a wacky solution to the problem, and boom! The day is saved, Marinette and/or someone else learns a moral, and we get a cute little end screen showing all the key players of the episode.

The one aspect of the show's setup that's a little more serious is the fact that Adrien has a super controlling and distant father, but even this is something that doesn't necessarily break the kid-friendly tone for the first season or two. Superhero shows in particular like to put in some stuff that's a little more emotionally challenging for the viewers, even when they're mostly comedic, so it's not totally out of place here.

For example, while they tend to have more grounded tones overall, Spider-Man cartoons are aimed at kids and regularly keep the conflict between Harry Osborn and his father, Norman, intact; often including the plot point of Norman being the Green Goblin, a notorious villain. It's a similar deal with Adrien, and his dad secretly being Hawk Moth.

You can easily anticipate drama coming from this, but the show primes you to expect it to work out fine in the end because every other conflict so far has been wrapped up in a nice little bow once the episode's over. Though I will say, the choice to have Hawk Moth be Gabriel instead of his own, separate character is perhaps the first sign of the tone shift to come.

And, uh. it sure is a shift.

See, Miraculous does not start out with what you'd call a... plot. It vaguely alludes to there being more going on behind the scenes, but the only thing it really tries to get you invested in is the Love Square dynamic. Marinette and Adrien dancing around each other while fighting crime IS the plot, and it's clearly going to end with a cool final confrontation with Hawk Moth.

You expect it to end like... well, like the movie. Identities are revealed, Gabriel realizes the error of his ways when he finds out he's been fighting his son this whole time, and they may or may not make up but he almost definitely gets arrested. Marinette and Adrien kiss, roll credits.

This is not what happens, because the plot the writers actually had in mind is complex in a way that I would argue is meant for the same audience as YA novels. And with that plot comes a lot of darker, weightier traits to these otherwise silly characters.

Marinette isn't just scatterbrained and nervous, she has debilitating anxiety and an increasing need to be in control of everything due to the stress she's under. She has panic attacks on-screen. She's not just great at strategizing, she also knows how to manipulate people, and does so with increasing frequency - and to Cat Noir at times, no less. Her positive traits haven't gone anywhere, she's still loving and creative and sweet and doing her best to help everyone she can, she just. has all of that other stuff going on, now.

Adrien isn't just a charming, goofy, clueless love interest with a gazillion skills and a controlling father, he's like. actively being abused, and in some cases straight-up mind controlled. His tendency to heroically sacrifice himself so that Ladybug can do her Cool Protagonist Thing is gradually but unmistakably reframed as being a sign of suicidal inclinations. He has identity issues out the wazoo and he doesn't even know he's an artificially created human yet, because everyone in his life is keeping secrets from him and/or lying to his face about crucial information.

Information like, uh. how his dad died???

Yeah, so we're at a point in the story now where there was no satisfying conclusion to the Gabriel plot, no team-up, no moment where he realizes he's been fighting his son, none of that. He still has something akin to a change of heart, but he also still kind of gets what he wants - the Miraculous of the Ladybug and Black Cat, which he uses to rewrite the universe with a wish. It's just that instead of reviving his wife, he trades his life for Natalie's. Of course, he was already dying anyway, which was his own fault but he did force Cat Noir's Cataclysm onto himself, so, that's another thing poor Adrien is going to have to deal with at some point.

And because there's all these astronomically messed up things in Adrien's life, and Marinette's the one who got to learn about all of it before him, she decides that maybe it would be better if he just. didn't know about it. Which is understandable, if I was 14 and had all this information about my boyfriend's life that he didn't, I wouldn't know how to begin telling him about it, either.

But. can you see how we've maybe lost the plot, here?

Here's the thing: starting with a simple framework and gradually getting more complex and subverting the audience's expectations for how the main villain is going to be dealt with is not a bad thing. The fact that it gets darker over time is not an issue. I actually think that all these developments are, themselves, pretty cool! I'm a sucker for angst and complex character dynamics and the show is absolutely giving me those things.

The problem is that it didn't just start with a simple framework, it started with the framework for a different demographic entirely, and perhaps just as importantly, it never actually... stopped.

For as much complexity and intensity they're injecting this story with, they're still working under the logic of it being "for young kids." We still get goofy villain-of-the-week designs with equally goofy motivations, and the supporting cast is stuck remaining two-dimensional no matter their circumstances. Chloe is the most blatant example of this - she was made to be a simple bully first, so no matter what else they do with her, she has to remain straightforwardly evil.

This, I think, is the reason that Gabriel is a more nuanced and "sympathetic" antagonist than her, and why so much care goes into Adrien's character as a victim of abuse while Chloe is just a Problem Child despite suffering similar neglect; she wasn't made to be interesting, and so the show is resistant to changing that. Gabriel and Adrien, however, were already made with nuance in mind, and so they're allowed to develop as characters. And at the same time, it's a kid's show! We need to teach the kids what kind of behavior is acceptable, and Chloe's home life isn't an excuse to treat people badly, so--!

...Oh crap we're supposed to be teaching kids about acceptable behavior. Uh. Um. Quick, bring back the ice cream akuma who cares way too much about his ships so that Cat Noir can learn about consent! Uhh, but don't change his character too much afterwards, he's only marketable because of his silly flirting, and we can't lose that.

Yeah, remember when I said that the romance having problematic elements to it used to work well enough because it was clearly just exaggerated cartooniness? It wasn't free from criticism or anything, but you could see how it was intended to be endearing and silly, right? You were supposed to point and laugh at Marinette's convoluted plans to spend time with Adrien, at Cat Noir's dramatic flirting attempts that Ladybug herself fondly rolled her eyes at.

The tonal shift into deep character exploration kinda paints the previous stuff in a worse light, and to an extent, I think the writers know that. It's hard to laugh at Cat Noir being flirty all the time when he's also supposed to be taken completely seriously, and the more Ladybug rejects him, the more it turns into harassment, and it. kinda just stops being funny, even with the comedic framing.

It's also hard to laugh at Marinette's crush being so all-consuming when they try to tell us (in what I can only assume was an attempt to get people to stop complaining) that she's like this because it's fueled by an event in her past, one that made her so scared of loving the wrong person that she now needs to know Everything about them before asking them out. Her cartoon antics aren't funny under that light, it's just concerning, but they're dedicated to keeping it up anyway.

The show runs on straightforward cartoon logic where you're not supposed to think about it too hard just as much as it runs on grounded, closer-to-real-life logic where people are messy and complicated and actions have consequences. It's so divided that you can hand-pick parts of the story that are influenced by one or the other pretty easily, and depending on the episode you can find instances of both in the same 20-minute time span. Maybe even multiple times!

Neither thing they're trying to go for is bad, and neither is a better approach than the other, but forcing them into the same show makes both sides suffer.

It's not just hard to laugh at the parts I mentioned earlier, it's hard to take Gabriel seriously as a villain whenever you rewatch an episode and remember that he has a once-per-episode pun-based speech that he says so self-seriously that you can't help but laugh at. It's hard to take him seriously when you remember that he repeatedly akumatized a Literal Baby and practically threw a tantrum every time it didn't work, or when he randomly steals (and enthusiastically performs) his nephew's musical dance number, or something similar that you would only do for a cartoon villain aimed at five-year-olds.

And I can only imagine this whole show is a marketing nightmare, too. Hey, little girls, here's your cool role model! She's cute and smart and talented and powerful and can fix anything by shouting the title of the show! Hope you're having fun watching her tell her boyfriend that his newly-deceased father (who used deepfakes of him to sell merchandise that's built to enslave the population and then locked him in a solitary confinement chamber in another country) was actually a hero who sacrificed himself to stop the main villain instead of, y'know, being the main villain! Aren't you excited to watch her wrestle with the guilt of this lie for the next season or so? Doesn't it just make you want to buy her merchandise??

Like. what is even happening right now. what am I watching. how did we get here and why did we start where we did if this was what the story was going to be about

[snapscube]

Hi there I’m a relatively new streamer on twitch and have been at it for a bit, and I’m finally at a point where I feel confident enough in my setup and general content that I can make edits of my streams, but I don’t have the resources for an editor. I know you don’t really edit your vods (as far as I’m aware) but I was curious if you had any advice, especially with editing down 3-5 hour streams as I feel like I just get overwhelmed with the sheer amount of stuff there is to cut. Thank you for your time, I’m a big fan of your stuff!

I don't currently do the brunt of the VOD editing for the main channel, no, but I used to and I've done it a couple times since bringing on Ellie so I do have a couple pointers! So, first of all, I know it's so much easier said than done but legit at a certain point you gotta just hit the play button and start watching it haha. Sometimes I will only be able to edit a stream in like 10 minute chunks cause it's just so daunting and actively fights against my ADHD. But, even if the sessions I spend editing are short, as long as I'm still doing SOMETHING whenever I get even the smallest burst of motivation to just press the play button it eventually gets easier and, more importantly, gets done.

BUT in terms of my actual tips for the process...

Have a specific editing structure laid out. My recommendation: Watch through the VOD in full, don't worry about cuts just yet. Just write down timestamps for bits you want to include. Even better if you utilize the marker system in whatever editing suite you use to do so, as you can label them and see them visually on the timeline. MAKE SURE YOU WATCH IN 2X SPEED. It's gonna be a bit disorienting at first but I promise you, you'll get used to it and the time saved is gonna be so worthwhile. Then, once you've finished marking your VOD, start making cuts at those markers and copy the cut down clips into a NEW timeline. DON'T delete anything from the timeline you watched/made markers on, just copy stuff to the new one in chronological order. Once you have every marked clip copied over to the new timeline, do a watch-through of the rough cut you just made and start polishing up those cuts for pacing. This is where you can feel free to just slice the shit out of everything, don't be stingy, just do what works best for the video. If you'd like, an extra step you can do here is maybe add some more markers if a particular joke or flair edit comes to mind while you're making pacing cuts, just be sure not to get bogged down in the details just yet. Wait until after you've finished polishing the entire rough cut for pacing, and then you can start jumping to your markers and make the more intensive edits and polish as the final or near-final step!

Give this a try, or modify it to suit your own workflow/schedule! I hope it helps!

[audiblehush]

“Let Down” doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it.

Part 1 was pretty phenomenal setup. Perfect? No, but really good in terms of how they were approaching their characters in all their complexities and contradictions.

Part 2 threw ALL of that in the trash. I feel like I can’t even really articulate all my complaints about it right now; it’s too raw. These characters became cardboard cutouts of themselves and I’m just like… how could they fumble the ball so badly?

I have been saying for AGES that the latest Part 2 could get away with Colin finding out about LW was the beginning of ep. 6. That would allow him an ENTIRE episode for him to work through his anger and heartbreak AND for Penelope to fight toward earning his trust back (idk, like the episode name IMPLIES?! “Romancing Mr. Bridgerton” … where?! Where was the romancing?!).

Instead we have him finding out AT the start of fucking episode 7, with the most manufactured drama “will she won’t she” lead-up EVER. And then they’re not speaking for the majority of the FINAL two episodes while I fast forward through Ben’s threesomes trying to find more non-existent Polin?!

We were told it was going to be “Polin against the world” in episodes 7 and 8 and we got NONE of that?? I had no problem with Colin being angry, but the TIMING and PACING of it was always going to be critical and they fucked up big time. We got ONE real Polin sex scene BEFORE Colin knew about LW. I was willing to excuse that if the writing made up for it later but yeah… that’s not what happened. The level of betrayal is unreal.

They spent all this time giving Cressida a sympathetic backstory to just… ship her off? To show the similarities in her home life to Pen only to… do nothing with it? A chance for Pen to “use her quill responsibly” and she doesn’t because nope, gotta shift to one of MILLION plots that are in the air! So many possibilities they could have employed there with Pen and Cressida but NOPE - ship her off to a controlling aunt!

They did NOTHING for Colin aside from a few lines about him working on a manuscript? That’s it?! We don’t even REALLY get him sitting down and talking with Penelope about LW and her reasons, his own insecurities… we just get like, a brief line about it in the last episode? We didn’t get him (OR Pen) calling out his family for the way they often treat him as an afterthought?! JUSTICE FOR COLIN.

And to have Pen still writing LW at the end? To have her keep the coping mechanism that she developed out of the result of an ugly home life? (that makes no sense even because logistically it only worked with her IN THE SHADOWS). When you could have made her a novelist? You just immediately hand-wave the column and make her a baby making machine?!

No fucking thanks.

The writing let Pen, Colin, Cressida, and Eloise ALL down.

The writing in part 2 just didn’t respect these characters of their journeys. That was always going to be a death blow, based on all the comments actors have made… I have to imagine so much of this season ended up on the editing room floor… because part 2 was a DISASTER. I guess this is what fanfic is for, but to barely have my babies together in THEIR SEASON growing into their own and together? It just breaks my heart.

Nicola and Luke deserved better.

Pen and Colin deserved better.

[pyr0-kai]

Josh Futturman x Youtuber/streamer reader

I heard this idea and was like YESSSSSS

headcannons + bad writing

Song inspo vv

So you’re decently famous, but not like pewdiepie type famous, yaknow?

And Josh is like one of them super fans, like gotta see everything you post ASAP.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

- You probably met Josh as you were going to the game store to pick up a new controller/gear for your setup or something

- Josh has been a fan of your stuff for a while. And now that he knows you live close by? Happy happy happy!!

- I’m on the fence if he would be the person to be all like

“Ohmygodiwatchallyourtvideosyouramazingraaaaa”

Or to just completely lock up and stare.

Probably the 2nd one.

- He’s a giant dork, but he’s cute so thats a pass

- 100% really awkward at first and thinking like

“why is someone so famous and pretty hanging out with me, system overload…” 😵‍💫

So pls bear with him

- bro is a huge simp, but such a sweetheart too.

- Supports you 1000% however he can, and whenever

- If you cosplay? He is drooling, especially if its a character he likes

- when your fans find put your dating oooooOoOoO…. They spam the comments/chat asking to see him!

- When Josh finally gets the courage to join you on a video/stream… ooo the fans call him a big dork cuz he is but they love him too!

- he gets so excited from all the love of your fans too

- All kinds of posts with him after that

- posts on stuff like instagram after dates, if you get a pet together, anything

- Streaming co-op games together is an absolute must!!!

[apollowhoo]

Saw you write for DC as well ^^ maaaybe you could write something tea party like where Robin is kidnapped and has to attend a tea party hosted by Jervis Tetch alongside guests like Harley Quinn & her Hyenas?

you request me robin and not tell me WHICH robin??😭 Eeny, meeny, miny...Tim Drake!!

"One Lump or Two, Bird Boy?"

Tim's eyes fluttered open, the pounding in his head pulling him out of unconsciousness. His surroundings were... peculiar, to say the least. A long table stretched before him, cluttered with teacups, teapots, and towers of pastries that looked almost too colorful to be real.

His arms were tied to the arms of an ornate chair with silk ribbons—light and soft, but unbreakable.

"Ah, awake at last! How delightful."

Tim's eyes snapped to the voice—smooth, and unnervingly cheerful. Across the long, cluttered table, Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter himself, stared at him. Dressed in his usual Victorian garb, Tetch's wide-brimmed top hat tilted slightly as he leaned forward with childlike glee.

"Welcome, Robin! You’ve arrived just in time for tea. And oh, what a wonde of an evenring it shall be!"

Robin pulled at the ribbons, testing for any slack. "This is a new low, even for you."

Tetch wagged a gloved finger. "Tsk, tsk, such rudeness! But that’s expected of birds. No manners." He gestured grandly around the room. "But worry not! We have more friends here to keep you entertained."

A loud, cackling laugh echoed from the far side of the room.

"Aww, ya didn’t tell me we were havin’ company, Hatter! And look who it is—Baby Bird himself!"

Harley Quinn barged into the room, balancing a tray of cupcakes on one hand and swinging her oversized mallet with the other. She wore her iconic outfit.

Following at her heels were Bud and Lou, her loyal hyenas, tongues lolling and eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Harley," Robin muttered under his breath. His day had officially gone from bad to worse.

"Harleen, my dear!" Tetch greeted her warmly. "I thought a little... surprise might liven up our gathering."

Harley plopped into a chair across from Tim, propping her boots on the table. "Well, ain't this cute. But I hope it ain't just tea an’ crumpets. I was hopin’ for somethin’ a lil’ more... exciting, y’know?"

She flicked a piece of cupcake to Bud, who caught it mid-air with a satisfied growl.

"Oh, don’t worry," Tetch assured, his eyes never leaving Robin. "The real fun is yet to come."

Robin’s mind raced. He knew that he needed a way out, fast. "Alright, Hatter. What’s the game this time?"

Tetch grinned, his teeth gleaming in the candlelight. "Oh, how splendidly inquisitive! Yes, a game! A simple riddle, really. Solve it, and you’re free to leave. Fail..." He trailed off, gesturing to the hyenas.

Bud and Lou snapped their jaws in unison.

''Really?? A riddle?'' Harley asks dramatically

Tetch gave her a side eye before clapping his hands, delighted. "Very well! Listen well Robin. Here it is: I’m not alive, but I grow. I don’t have lungs, but I need air. I don’t have a mouth, and yet I drown. What am I?"

Tim frowned, the gears in his brain turning rapidly. He knew this one.

Harley watched him closely, tapping her mallet against her shoulder. "Tick-tock, Birdie. Don’t take too long, or Bud an’ Lou might start thinkin’ you’re dinner."

The hyenas growled softly, their laughter-like sounds sending a chill down his spine.

"Fire," Tim said finally, meeting Tetch’s gaze.

For a moment, silence hung in the air. Then Tetch’s smile twisted into a grimace. "Oh...oh, you clever little bird."

Harley blinked. "Wait, that’s it? C’mon, Hatter, ya gotta step up your game! That was way too easy."

"Easy?" Tetch muttered, adjusting his hat in frustration. "I suppose it was."

Tim took the opportunity. He tugged sharply at the silk ribbons, and to his surprise, they unraveled with ease—a flaw in the Mad Hatter’s setup. He leapt from the chair, muscles tense and ready.

"Well, it’s been fun," Tim said, backing toward the door, "but I think I’ll pass on dessert."

Harley grinned, standing and hefting her mallet. "Aw, don’t go so soon, Birdie! We were just gettin’ started."

"Another time!" Tim called over his shoulder as he bolted through the door.

Tetch sighed, slumping into his chair. "How tiresome. Another guest who just doesn’t appreciate the finer things."

Harley shrugged, grabbing a teacup and taking a sip. "Eh, don’t sweat it, Hatter. Next time, let’s skip the riddles and go straight for the BOOM!"

Bud and Lou barked in agreement, their tails wagging eagerly.

"Next time, indeed," Tetch muttered, his eyes narrowing. "Next time, Robin won’t be so lucky."

And somewhere in the dark streets of Gotham, Robin was already planning how to make sure next time will never happened.

[ilikekidsshows]

What infuriates me the most about Season 4 is how utterly pointless it was. What was the point of making Marinette the Guardian in Season 3 if she was just going to lose all the Miraculous in Season 4? Say what you want about Miracle Queen as a finale; at least it felt like Hawk Moth earned that moment of triumph because he actually used his brain for a change. The writers could have had him gain all the Miraculous at the end of Season 3, then skip straight to Season 5 and nothing would change.

---

I wasn’t yet a salt blog when season four concluded, but I made my lack of enthusiasm for the new season clear. Someone who was still optimistic about the show told me that we’d just have to “wait and see” if season four would contribute anything meaningful to Miraculous’ larger narrative, because everyone agreed, even people who liked it, that season four’s point was to set up season five, due to it itself not having much meat to it.

I said even back then that 25 episodes of setup is wasteful. In a season format show, you should have a theme or an arc or two that you set up, build up and conclude so that the audience will have something to chew on while they wait for the bigger plot movements. Of course, that was when a lot of people thought that the Ladynoir conflict arc was still ongoing because of how poorly ‘Kuro Neko’ served as a conclusion, that the season four finale of removing the tertiary heroes was going to lead to a new focus on Cat Noir’s role as Ladybug’s partner. Of course, season five then made it abundantly clear that the “arc” was well and done with, that season four wasn't the uninteresting half of season five, it was an uninteresting season by itself.

The Miraculous writers are wasting time to justify the show’s episode count. Even after the show’s viewing order started mattering due to small details (that still weren’t consistent even if you watched the episodes in the right order), most of the show’s runtime is spent on the characters faffing about with nothing being accomplished, because the characters don’t even attempt to accomplish anything. And this is true for the writing as well. The writers aren’t actually attempting much of anything, they’re randomly throwing ideas out, maybe revisiting them in about ten episodes if you're lucky or a season or two later and it’s so incredibly lacking in dedication. If you want to create ambitious storylines, you gotta dedicate some effort into making it work.

I just can’t see all that much effort in anything the show is doing anymore. The writing is lazy and the characters are lazy. Although, considering a new tweet from Astruc reveals that he thinks reworking a script is wasting money because editing a show is too expensive, it could be it's not that the writers are lazy, but cheap.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 46 Nonsense Takes

Hello dear void. So, about that whole "I wish Hokazono-sensei would slow down just a smidge" thing... yeah. Not happening. Dude's writing like he still needs to stave off the infamous WSJ axe.

I don't know man. I have a lot of thoughts that all boil down to "I wish it had gone differently." Not because I think I could do it better myself- I can't even write fanfiction that I'm comfortable with posting anonymously. But this is the first time I've ever been disappointed because we didn't get a chapter of uninterrupted talking heads.

There was plenty of dialogue, and a lot of it was intriguing. I'm gonna go ham on it all in a bit. But the way the chapter ended kind of disappointed me. This is 100% Hestzhyen's Rubbish Opinion here, but fucking let the characters rest. I hate it when the characters jump from one crisis to another until the end of time. We've seen Chihiro running on fumes for far too long now and Hakuri's going to be even worse off. Guy can't even use the power they need him for without hurting himself so bad he passes out, but there's no time to let him recover. Gotta chase the bad guys!

It's ultimately a tone and pacing thing. Having the characters fight when they're already tired and/or meaningfully injured is a basic tool in the writer's kit for establishing tension. But we've done that for almost every major fight in Kagurabachi so far! Even against random Yakuza mooks! Chihiro's been operating at less than full capacity since the Hishaku's tree exploded the guy they tried to interrogate in chapter 2 for fuck's sake. He wasn't even fully rested going in to the Rakuzaichi- his arm was newly healed and bandaged up. The "ooh they're not at full strength, this'll be tough!" thing is getting old.

Okay me, no need to hit image cap with examples. But every major fight has involved using this tool in some way- every Char rescue and fighting Sojo, the Rakuzaichi infiltration and storehouse fight, and now we're starting an arc with it. I am adamantly against any series doing this without subverting expectations. If Chihiro isn't meaningfully punished for constantly risking himself when he's not at 100%, it's flawed writing in my opinion. (Passing out or losing a limb doesn't count when Char can reverse that.)

Enough bashing. Obviously this is early in an ongoing series and we've just started the arc. There's a ton of story left to go through so chill, me. In fact, Shiba being separated from Chihiro might be an indication that yes, finally, there are going to be lasting consequences of some kind for him.

I say this because Shiba's been the lone voice of reason when Chihiro decides it's time to go off the rails. He's ignored pretty much every time, but he's still there to manage the setup and aftermath. Chihiro won't have that safety net this time. I love Hakuri to pieces but he doesn't have the experience to do the intel groundwork, nor the ability to perfectly replace Shiba's clutch escape factor, you know? So I'll shut up and wait to see what happens for now.

Actual Analysis Section

Getting right into it, we immediately learn that Shiba's not coming along due to some bad blood between himself and some Kunishige antis in the Kamunabi leadership. (I feel you, man. The Kunishige we've seen so far was the best.) So while he could turn up, I think Shiba will be on the sidelines working on his own subplot. This is the "Kamunabi Classifieds/Secret Files" arc after all. Gonna be a lot of awful truths getting unearthed and Shiba is the best guy to give us insight.

Recall this conversation in chapter 7:

Despite having quit the Kamunabi under mutually unfriendly terms, Shiba's still got connections to them. Enough that he's still included in their plans when situations call for him. I think most readers clued in to the fact that Shiba was some kind of Special Ops guy when he worked there: he's very comfortable snooping around and doing a little "forceful interrogation" to get information. But the exact nature of his history might come to light this arc. And he'll be a very interesting viewpoint into the Kamunabi as someone who is deeply entwined with the org but is loath to cooperate with them for personal reasons. I suspect he'll have the most objective opinion out of the rest of the cast.

As for Azami, he was in a real bind this chapter- he didn't say a single word and was sweating bullets the entire time. He did move to protect Chihiro when Blond Jerkass threatened him at least. This arc is gonna be pretty painful for him I think. Bet most of the tension will come from his reasons for staying with the Kamunabi versus wanting to do right by Chihiro and Shiba.

Also, time to revoke my "guess the associations" privileges since I completely missed the mark on which Bearer is associated to which area. Kabuki monk guy ([漆羽] Uruha! A name, thank god!) is in the hotsprings. Or was, rather. Hope he wasn't wishing for some excitement in his life because he got more than he bargained for with that Hishaku suicide raid I think. Is he running towards safety with the Hishaku, Kamunabi, or freedom from both...?

Another guy with a weird name too. 漆 (uru, also read as nana in modern Japanese) is very, very old and likely derives from descriptions of the shine of wood that's been lacquered or varnished. In names it can convey strength, resilience, and uniqueness. 羽 (ha) means feather and has associations with freedom, grace, good fortune, and lots of support through life. So "gleaming feather" or "lacquered feather"? Guessing he'll be a free-spirited dude with an unusual perspective! Ooh this has got me excited.

Anyway. How about that unresolved conflict at the chapter's end? Chihiro made a decent case for himself (seriously he was so cool cutting off Blond Jerkass to remind them of he good he's accomplished), but the major sticking point of him being unwilling to completely fall under the Kamunabi's control is still there. You can bet your sweet Bippy it's going to be a major source of conflict in this arc. "An enemy of my enemy is my friend" is the best way to describe the relationship between him and the government right now, and that sentiment is not a solid foundation for a lasting partnership.

I can see the Hishaku forcing the Kamunabi's hand in trusting Chihiro and Hakuri, fighting tooth and nail but still letting them get the swords, then swooping in as the Kamunabi self-destructs over what to do with them. God I can't wait suss out what they're actually doing though. John Hishaku, you are peak entertainment.

Poor guy is always surprised when he's relevant to a conversation.

More Hakuri than expected! Yay! He also got to have some good moments with Tafuku, which is really cool! Sad that he's nerfed going in to the arc, but it makes sense. Wonder if they shared that he can use Isou too... it's not relevant to this discussion so not surprised it wasn't addressed. Guess we'll see later! Love these little mysteries that hook us between the larger plot developments. Everything is explained when it needs to be instead of awkwardly blurted out or infodumped.

Best panel in the chapter by far.

Tafuku's such a bro, man. I really hope that he and Hiyuki are assigned to keep watch over Chihiro and Hakuri as they search for Uruha.

Speaking of Hiyuki, seems like she's got a lot of pull with some members of the leadership council. I wonder if that's due to her status as the Kamunabi's strongest fighter alone or if there's a bit more going on... Hiyuki backstory when?

ALMOST got to see Azami's sorcery again (ch 46 vs. 7). What a cock tease. Seems to be some sort of condensed energy ability.

Look at Hakuri! He was gonna whisk Chihiro away into the storehouse to protect him, even though it would mean putting himself at odds with the council! He's so willing to put himself at risk for Chihiro it's scary. Couldn't register and transport that notebook without knocking himself out but he'll do whatever it takes for his samurai. Seriously! God I love him. (Is this foreshadowing? I think it's character consistency more than anything else, but we'll see...)

Slightly prefer the fan TL of the line ("Place your bets on me!")

Another favorite trope of mine. Chihiro unintentionally echoing his dad's words from 20 years ago got me good- and I'm not the only one based on some of the council's reactions. I love Kagurabachi for a lot of reasons but moments like this are definitely near the top. The theme of legacy and the past influencing the present is handled so well- always there, but never overdone. Thank you for trusting us to get the point, Hokazono-sensei.

So Kunishige was willing to help the war effort but was unproven at the time. He had to convince them to trust in him at all. Interesting, very interesting. Something compelled him to be there to make his case- looking forward to finding out what that was. DEAD DIL-

Trial, Interrupted

What did we learn?

One, the Kamunabi do blood tests. Weird but alright, guess they've got records of all their members' blood types and profiles stashed away somewhere. No wait that's fucking insane. Why do you need that genetic information? Why does it have to be blood instead of saliva? Why do you store it apparently indefinitely even after death- and how? What happened to references, finger printing, and researching public records to verify identity? (Actually, Chihiro might not have been properly registered as a citizen at birth due to his circumstances... that would be a fun wrinkle in him earning a paycheck.)

Guess: drawing Chihiro's blood is going to reveal Something. Exactly what isn't something I want to speculate too hard on, but it's gonna be relevant to this arc so I'll put a pin in it for now.

Two, the Hishaku have precisely zero chill. John has been preparing for god knows how long to attack the Bearers and now is the time to strike. So this leaves me with two questions: why is Chihiro being there with the Kamunabi perfectly fine (perhaps even necessary), and did they somehow account for Hakuri's presence in their plans?

I have a list of unanswered questions about Hakuri and the Sazanamis in a text file and this adds more. No one knew he was a Special Boy with the storehouse ability until yesterday (in-universe)... theoretically. And his abilities seem perfect for throwing a wrench in the Hishaku's machinations. So if they don't know about Hakuri, how will they adapt- and what will that mean for Team Goldfish? If they do know, then how? And why let this go forward? Wow falling for the plot hooks driving the narrative, how unique! Reagrdless of which scenario comes to be, I genuinely fear for Hakuri's safety... maybe a bit too much.

Three, Kamunabi politics aren't divided into neat factions for easy comprehension. At last we have some insights into the leaders' personalities though.

Rude mfers

These might be the guys that Shiba had a disagreement with before leaving. Blond Jerkass in particular is trying really hard to look villainous; he's clearly not a fan of Kunishige and went out of his way to get us all to hate him. I think he is too principled to work with the Hishaku, but he'll definitely be a thorn in Chihiro's side.

"Principled? This guy?!" Yeah!

He disagreed vehemently with Kunishige's decision to hide the swords instead of letting the Kamunabi keep them, and he sees that same "selfishness" in Chihiro is my read of him. He's also got no qualms about killing Chihiro to make Enten available to the Kamunabi since Chihiro's wielding it without any kind of oversight. This is our "authority of the establishment" guy for sure. He's there for the mission in his own way, and I hope we learn his motivations before he's offed or put on a shelf.

Pencil 'Stache seems like a snobbish skeptic so I kinda wanna punch him too. He has a modicum of concern for the issues at hand at least, I'll give him that. Not much else to say about him right now.

Prince Nez, Azami, Mask, and Eyepatch are strongly implied to be the ones who helped Kunishige hide, so they're likely to at least be neutral. Even if they had no great love for Kunishige himself, they could have been persuaded to help on practical grounds.

Azami might be the only one with personal reasons since he was Kunishige's friend. Very interesting that Chihiro claimed not to know him though... did Shiba know or guess his circumstances and tell Chihiro to lie? Azami was off screen after chapter 18 so there's a time gap to fill there- when we left off with him, he was under investigation for secretly harboring Chihiro. He's not a happy camper about any of this and I want to know exactly why. (Also, Chihiro backstory?! He didn't always live in the mountains with his dad, and he knows or was old enough to remember leaving his old home to live there??? LORE PLEASE.)

Prince Nez seems like a rational guy based on his segments explaining why going to war with the Sazanami would be bad in Ch. 22. He's the only one who seems concerned about getting to the heart of the matter here as well, being less concerned with Chihiro's ancestry versus the feasibility of his plan. Not to mention being the one to bring up that Magatsumi needs to be properly resealed as soon as possible. So I think he's a guy who is motivated by practical concerns above all else. Logic over passion is my read of him. He'll take the best approach based on merits more than anything else.

Mask appears fairly neutral. He's one of the two who was impressed by Hiyuki's assessment of Chihiro's character, so he could share at least a few of her ideals about justice and protecting the peace. She didn't rebuke him like the other guy so he's probably sincere (or at least not an obvious faker).

Eyepatch had just one line- he thought that Chihiro did in fact look like... someone he knew. Context would lead us to assume it's Kunishige, but after decades of being baited by Nomura as a KH fan, I know a potential red herring when I see one. I won't go full tinfoil hat theory here without more info but I will demand a treat if Eyepatch was referring to Chihiro's mom.

Hairclips has a very neutral impression right now since this is the only time she spoke. She was one of the three who originally sealed Magatsumi but everything else about her is a mystery right now. She got a big panel to herself so I expect to learn more about her later.

The "this meeting could have been an e-mail" vibes speak to my soul.

Piercing Guy seems like he's in it for himself first and foremost between this outburst and Hiyuki calling him a creep for wanting her approval. Then again, he seemed pretty open to hearing Chihiro's arguments about judging him based on his actions rather than his lineage. He's also amenable to accepting Chihiro as soon as he unknowingly echoes his father's resolve from decades prior... despite starting the chapter by saying he doesn't see the resemblance at all.

There's two ways to read this: either he's careless and selfish and going with what seems good at the time, or he's careless and forgot details about Kunishige until Chihiro's testimony brought them back. I think he's the most suspicious one so far. I've got my eye on you, Piercing Guy. Careless people are easy to manipulate and corrupt.

Beard Guy seems like the first among equals. Someone who carefully weighs the pros and cons of every course of action before committing. He played the role of practical, fair-minded judge rather well this chapter. He's also quite decisive in a crisis, but there's a lot more to unpack with him. (Is he Hiyuki's supervisor? How does he actually feel about everything?) Reserving judgement until we see more of his inner thoughts.

So yeah. Chihiro and the Kamunabi have agreed to work together for now, but they certainly aren't solid allies. And the Hishaku are going all out with their datenseki stockpile to blow everything up for some reason... So much for getting to chill but hey, at least there's no time wasted either. Until next time, kind void.

[wifeswarmacademy]

I'm finally joining a lancer game, and I have a lot of thoughts about the system. I gotta say, I feel like the way Ive seen others on here talk about it as a system seems very different from how it appears based on reading the core rulebook (and stats for the free stuff on comp/con). It seems quite limited in terms of what sort of mechs you can create within the system, various prebuilt frames with little room for customization. There are some fun combinations, but its not really building your own guy. (I planning to get an empakaai, grab an impact lance, and get external batteries from tokugawa, so i can melee everyone in a 5 hex line and grapple everyone) In particular im kinda dissapointed that there isnt much interesting for movement. you can run on the ground, with great difficulty you can fly, and you can teleport. Some get some more advanced stuff like blackbeard moving with grappling hooks or deaths head letting you run on walls. As far as I can tell, there is no mechanical support for a mech that moves around as thought they were on rollerskates. Im not joking that this was a major let down when people were talking about being able to recreate their favorite things in mech media, and realizing there wasnt support for this. I understand the lack of rules support is because the way they move with all the different body shapes of the mech is ill defined, but to me it just feels like moving around game pieces when the pegasus in an identical fashion to a raleigh. I just dont get the sensation that my guy is crawling around on the floor in a fucked up way.

I am extremely impressed by how the game handles NHPs. Its rare for a game to get players so excited about the prospect of losing control over something. The mix of mechanical effects and stellar writing makes it just seem really cool to lose control, but I recognize how effective this is is entirely reliant on how good your DM is. The setting is fantastic, and I think there is good reason why when i see people talk about lancer, its so often about the lore. The history of the Union is just great, with everyone ive talked to about it seeming to take different things away from how it operates. In particular, the setup of the game seems to enable just about any type of character people want to play. My friends that made characters vary from over the top and edgy, rogue illegally cloned super soldiers; ironic and amusing, forum lurker turned amateur pilot perpetually hooked into the omninet spewing whatever memes that may or may not be linked to something horrible clawing through to reality; or grounded, a maintenance worker who helped defend a trade ship against pirates and then decided to change profession and receive formal combat training. I would say it is a well done simple RPG with limited options and a phenomenal setting. Simple systems without a lot of numbers are not my bread and butter, but I have to appreciate the style in it.

[garrettwrites]

Warning: discussions of homophobia; extremely negative rant over a popular lgbt book.

Post context: I waited a decade to read a certain retelling book that focuses on the development of an lgbt couple, one which has been discussed over the centuries. I'm doing my best to censor its title and characters, so this post doesn't show up in the tags for people who genuinely love this story. The title, one I now view as overrated, is something along the lines of a song about a certain popular greek hero with long blond hair and a particularly fragile heel. I wanted to read the original, the Iliad, first. I was so excited... and finally, I read the Iliad and other classical texts, I studied ancient history, and I was finally in the mood to start, paired with good knowledge of the characters that would feature in it AND the historical context... Only to find out I shouldn't have waited. 14/15 year old me would have loved this. Current me cannot. I find most reviewers must have either been high while reading, or have taken this book as teenagers, because there is no way an adult over the age of 25 with some degree of reading experience would have not seen the glaring problems with this book.

Disclaimer, if you care - I have no problem with story alterations. I can be critical of them, sure. But even that won't stop me from enjoying something. I think Percy Jackson should have followed a more greek setup, and I don't particularly fancy some of the worldbuilding choices, but those books were and still are among my favourite fantasy stories. Even though they're for children. Even though I've read Tolkien. I'm no elitist, nor do I believe shit can't be changed to make a compelling story. What I do have a problem with is how you present information, and how you distort it.

For instance, if you wanted to write a story about Ariadne and her godly husband set in the year of 1850 for some reason, and make opium play a role? I think that's a fucking weird setting. But it could work, if you stuck true to what characterises them, their relationship, and had a story with a beggining middle and end that tries to show something.

Going back to the retelling that inspired this "rant review". I'll let others more qualified than me to talk about the sexism. What shocked me here was the gay lovestory that reads so homophobic in how cliché it is that it hurts.

This story reads as "when you're so progressive you gotta turn a gay couple made up of two masculine, warrior like, war drowned men into "the hot warrior and his healer who hates fighting" so it fits into (the already sexist/misogynistic) heterosexual couple role".

Because god forbid you have a gay couple where you actually need to deconstruct masculinity without villainizing it. God forbid you actually need to write men into a gay story. God forbid these men are not good, and you need to get into their complexity. God forbid the pov character, who is written as a love struck maiden, has a life outside his strong warrior that helps contextualise his love for him.

Listen. Feminine men are amazing. Gay feminine men are too. I have plenty of original characters that fit within these labels. What I do not do is turn two ancient greek warriors into an early 2000s seme uke yaoi dynamic where one of them is a fragile maiden war tent housewife and the other a very hot but detached strong soldier god man. This is not the story to do that. And even if you play with gender roles and have a man take a more "womanly" role, it's not enough to just genderswap - a character is still badly written regardless of wether they're male or female.

If the housewife character here was a woman, I guarantee everyone who praises this book would be losing their marbles. A woman with no personality outside her lover? Afraid of fighting, of standing up, of speaking up, and this never changes? Who becomes a healer not because she studies it, but because her fragile soul has no other option? Who is passive as all hell in the story until the author remembers she has to die in an impactful manner to trigger her male love interest? That is two dimensional and no way to write a girl, and it's not suddenly okay just because this girl has a dick and is a him.

Yet cause it's gay it's okay to write such an insipid character. Praised even. Which is made even worse, because the original version was a man who yes - indeed - was kind to others yet an absolute beast on the battlefield. Who had opinions and gave counsel. This is not even an original character - I wouldn't criticise an original character as harshly, but this author changed a fighter with incredible skill, who killed a son of a god and was a hero in his own right, into this. A character who yes, was kind and beloved. But touched by war regardless. A character who was loved by those around him, but in this book is ridiculed by these very same people.

Why do you think that is.

And no, trying to make the story more anti war is not an answer. The Iliad is anti war. The Iliad literally comments on how war corrupts what it touches, how it fucked up the lives of everyone involved. This is not a modern take on an old story, because the old story in question already talks about it.

But what can I expect, here. I could call this a work that doesn't know how to write gay men without adhering to (already dated even for straight people) gender roles... but truth is? Author doesn't know how to write women either. The moment you unironically think Helen of Troy is just a vain little hot chick you should not be allowed to write an Iliad retelling, me thinks.

Oh, and let's not get into the fact both main characters are meant to be gay. They're not bisexual. Yet this book - a GAY ROMANCE - is not shy about shoving straight sex scenes onto you. Sex scenes with really no purpose, for they're never brought up again later, and have no story impact.

I am not kidding. Character A gets D pregnant, Character P barely reacts to it, and when D gets upset at P for whatever reason THE TWO OF THEM HAVE SEX TOO. NOTHING AS GAY AS FUCKING THE WOMAN IMPREGNATED BY YOUR BOYFRIEND, UH?! And it's never brought up again! Nobody forces Character P into this yet he willingly goes? Excuse me, if you wanted these characters to have sex with women so casually, why not just make them bisexual and open to banging outside their relationship?

It reads as so disgusting, to have an author clearly lean into a soulmate trope, then just pull some of the most uncomfortable to read sex scenes ever outside that soulmate couple (I love purple prose. Purple prose is probably the only reason I didn't hate this book - the writing was beautiful. But the way the sex with Character D goes... good lord it's written in such a puke inducing way). I'm not against poly in books, what I am against is leaning into monogamous tropes for a gay couple, where you write neither of them as bisexual (which, btw, bi-erasure of the original characters) but then have them bang outside their relationship EVEN when nobody is forcing them to. Never have I read a gay book where straight sex is pushed forward so much. And it's not just even weird for the gay couple, it's also written in a really odd way for the women involved.

"Oh you just don't get the theme! It was out of pity! It was-" turn this into a straight romance and tell me, with a straight face, that this story is well written. Bad character development, bad usage of tropes, terrible pacing, and the use of sex outside the main romance purely for reader self insertion (for it contributes with nothing but shoddy erotica, in a book supposedly about AxP) should not be excused just because a book is gay.

Honestly. "Let people enjoy things" well I propose let me be a hater. I went above and beyond to block the book and character names, let's hope it's enough. But I'm against not criticising things just because they're diverse. It's 2024. There's plenty of authors writing good stories with marginalised people.

And let's talk about LGBT+ worldbuilding, shall we? In the beggining of this book - set in Ancient Greece by the way - it's stated men could take male lovers on the side. Then it's not brought up again, until later a woman tells P many married men take lovers on the side. This girl was originally a sex slave by the way, and here she gets Stockholm Syndrome and falls for P. But then another character tells P he's too old to be into men? So, which is it? It's not even a thing about ancient greek men having that thing where it was accepted for an older man to be sexually involved with a young boy, because here the problem brought up is P being too old, not his lover being too old too.

Oh, and the love interest's (A's) mother. She hates their relationship. We are told she hates their relationship because P is mortal and she doesn't want a mortal to be with her son. Yet later on she arranges a marriage between her son and a MORTAL woman. So is the problem really mortality, or homosexuality?

Why is there modern day homophobia in a story that many praise for historical accuracy?

I honestly hate how people care about representation at the cost of quality. It is mind boggling to me that a woman in this century wrote a book more homophobic and misogynistic than greeks almost 3 thousand years ago did.

[spnfanficpond]

April 2024 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @charliethealpaccaso

Contentment Is A Pearl Of Great Price by ravelqueen (AO3)

This fic captures everything that makes transformation scary but fascinating to read from start to finish. The mental change later on during the fic, Sam has to deal with as the new part of him takes over. It leaves you on the edge of your seat as we have no idea if he will ever be human again or if he will lose himself and his humanity forever. I wish more people would try their hands at more transformation fics, as there are many interesting topics to choose from when creating a fic like this one.

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Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

God Save The Queen, And Her Handmaids by darali_starscream (AO3)

I have attempted to think up a scenario in which Charlie Bradbury might sit on Dean Winchester's face to no avail. This isn't what you think, I promise—there is no universe in which I'd be OK with a true Charlie/Dean pairing, but this works and it works well. BJ riffs on the spectrum of attraction and sexuality here. The pairing in Charlie and her girlfriend who is bisexual x Dean, and it's a very satisfying little story.

Sleeping Arrangements by @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

This is very cute and even sexy without being smutty.

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Nominated by @zepskies

The Dangers of Hope by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

I had never read an "Endverse!Dean Winchester" series before, but this one completely blew me away -- from world-building to the overarching story to the romance itself. Beginning to end, it's beautifully written.

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Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

Living His Gray Flannel Life by @samanddean76

Warnings to start - As there is prostitution in this one, noncon must be mentioned. Also, this is a Wincest fic, so, you know, incest. That being said, this story is told from Jimmy's POV, so the Wincest of it all is less Wincesty. Which is right up my alley, man! This is the perfect amount of Wincest combined with outsider POV, where the outsider loves what he's seeing as much as we do. I can't say more for spoilery reasons, but know that there is delicious pining, sweet smutty smut, a fascinating monster, and fantastic side characters. I read it twice just because once wasn't enough!!

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Nominated by @salt-n-burn-em-all

House Song by @accordingtothelore

Dean protects Sam from being killed by other Hunters and their dad. Starts Gen, does not stay that way. I just loved everything about it. Fabulous art in the last chapter.

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Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

What happens in ApocalypseWorld… by masoena (AO3)

This is such an interesting aspect that I’ve never read for a/b/o. **SPOILERS** The moment Dean and Arthur step through the portal everything changes and the world heavily influences their biology. I loved how, of course, Ketch knew exactly what was happening, which really makes me wonder about wtf Ketch has been through. I really wanna know more about that dynamic change and I hope they really do write more. This is also one of the few stories I get to read a soft!Ketch. I love, love soft!Ketch. Gotta check them out.

Second Chances by @mayalaen

First, I am not a fan of incest. Second, I was really surprised how much I enjoyed this because it isn’t tagged. Finally, I love poly fics. It’s so hard to find a poly fic that isn’t just PWP/smut. I really enjoy how the premise is getting Sam to relax and teach him how to handle his health while managing school work in a healthy way. I really like how the relationship between Cas and Sam is setup, Dean gets introduced, and then all hell breaks loose in the different relationship dynamics. The thing is there isn’t an emphasis on their brotherhood and sex. This is NOT a wincest smut story. It’s a story about Sam learning how to be a healthy adult while finishing college and finds a place where he is wanted and feels like he belongs. I also absolutely love the dom/sub and domestic discipline aspects of Cas and Dean’s relationship. It’s really a background aspect until it isn’t. I highly recommend the read even if you aren’t a wincest or wincestiel fan. The plot is written and integrated so well with the character development for all three main characters. It really took me by surprise. I couldn’t put it down.

(Divider by @glygriffe)

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!

[elvenbeard]

Somewhere in Manila, 2078

“It is pretty nice here,” V said, and Kerry put his arm around him, pulling him a bit closer as he turned his head to look at him.

“C’mon, just ‘pretty nice’?” he asked grinning.

“Okay, it’s beautiful, breathtaking, astounding!” V said and Kerry chuckled, “You weren’t exaggerating.”

“And this is just the hotel! Wait ‘til you see the city. And the beaches! But we gotta drive a little to get to the better ones. Nothin’ beats the one in Tangalan anyway, but that’ll have to wait 'til next week…”

Kerry went on rambling about all they had planned, everything he wanted to show V, parties and events they could go to, the secret spots only he and maybe a handful of other people knew. Some of it all sounded quite adventurous, and V still struggled to imagine Kerry clambering through the jungle to get to some of these extra special hidden gems. But his excitement was downright infectious. Truly just adorable. V was relieved to see Kerry so genuinely happy again, too, the stress of the last weeks really had been weighing him down. Getting ready for this trip in the background had been his sole motivator for staying on top of the mountain of promo events for his album.

Just three more interviews before we can get on the plane. Just this one photoshoot, and then I can finally start packing my stuff. That one private show, that one industry party, that one red carpet, and then Lee can kiss my ass and we’ll fuck off across the Pacific.

Being here now finally, chilling at the hotel bar and recovering from the long flight, still felt somewhat surreal.

“… - and we really gotta go to Quinta Market later. Gonna cure your resentment to street food there once and for all.”

Kerry took a sip of his drink, then looked back at V, who had been watching him the whole time, a little tired and absentmindedly, but full of affection.

“What?” he asked, frowning slightly, but kept up his smile, the silver lines around his eyes and down his cheeks sparkling in the setting sun.

“Nothin’,” V said, “I’m happy you’re happy to be back here, is all.”

Kerry leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

“I’m happy you’re here with me,” he said, “That’s all that matters.”

AAAAHHH. A little bit of behind the scenes rambling here!!!

I didn't forget to take a pic of my setup at least this time XD I set this up at Denny's pool (free of concrete thankfully), because there is little distracting Night City scenery in the background that would destroy the illusion of this not being Night City xD But admittedly, the setup was a little rushed bc I just wanted to do some fluffy pics. I could actually spend hours setting up my scenes with all the awesome props I keep discovering o.o

Also: I had Kerry's summer vibes outfit ready since early June, but just didn't get around to doing anything with it until two weeks ago, AND THEN I didn't have time to edit the pics because other stuff kept grabbing my attention instead xD

But there is more to come, I have a whole lot more summer pics ready, all incredibly fluffy... because I need some fluff and knowing they have this in their future waiting for them, while on the side I'm writing the most angsty fic with constant dread and setbacks and death looming on the horizon, you know XD

Dad Shirts by @pinkyjulien 💛 I love them so much, I want Kerry's shirt for myself irl, it's my fave of the tropical recolors, the colors and pattern are so nice... and suit him so well imo!!

Also this is totally the follow up to the road trip pics I posted last week. They drove to L.A., spent a day or two there, and then hopped on the plane to Manila xD

[wagrilous-23]

Bunny With A Vision AU!

Masterpost

- This is going to be the post where all the links and stories of this AU will be as I develop it over time, and I'll organize it as best I can!

During an unknown time period, a cosmic force of unfathomable proportions tears holes between realities, both big and small, snatching those unaware in a tear that led to a specific world....

In one world, a digitized simulation whose sole AI ringmaster administrator was in the middle of giving his 6 human avatar guests a rundown of the next adventure he had in mind, until a reality tear enveloped the purple one, confusing everyone and briefly causing chaos within the digital circus before he is taken, but not before adding in one final joke to humor himself.

In the other, the world was already war-torn and a bit empty on human life except for cybernetic robots, one of which was a giant TV-headed one. He was in the midst of using black smoke to teleport himself to another location, but a reality tear happened to appear, sending him far away from his home dimension, to somewhere far beyond....

Characters:

-Jax

The whimsy, mischievous, yet so annoying and jerkish asshole of the Amazing Digital Circus, he had been taken away from the now familiar simulated world he had come to call "home", initially thinking he had finally escaped. But nope! Jax was still in purple rabbit digital avatar, now apparently stranded in a big, desolate world that was far too realistic looking for Dentures' to have made-

"What, you expected the author to be writing everything? Nah! I can speak for myself, and boy, do I got things to say!"

"First of all, @$&^ the one who sent me to this place! Two, I hate the stupid monsters that roam everywhere in this stupid world, they ruin any sort of fun I have. Third, why am I stuck having to listen to a giant screen-faced robot who I can't even understand because he's talking gibberish!"

(In reverse) "I heard that." >:(

"Shush you. Eh, I guess this is my new circumstances, oh well. Be sure to be on the lookout for updates to the adventures me and the big guy get into, it'll be hilarious watching him do all the work! While I just sit back and relax now that I don't have to deal with that hammy AI or the others. Don't need 'em. Never have, and never will! Hahahaha!"

....Moving on.

-Visionet

-Visionet, or more often known as Titan TV Man (abbreviated TTVM), is a giant, TV head robot who can teleport with a black smoke effect, is all kinds of stoic and badass, yet cares for those who are smaller than him as comrades. His abilities are diverse and set him far apart from your regular TV head character, on top of being tall enough to look into a 4 or 5 story building (not that he'd do that mind you); plus he likes to swear or say some vulgar innuendos whenever he can, something that Jax gripes about since despite being WAY beyond the range of the Circus, he can't swear without the profanity filter. Visionet was just trying to teleport to a mission objective when he landed in a hostile world that seemingly was once full of life and is now roaming with all sorts of creepy monsters, but is now dead, with only a small purple rabbit jackass to act as company. The Titan makes it really fucking clear that he hates being the one pulling his weight while Jax just chills behind him. However...something within Visionet recognizes that there's more to Jax that meets the eye...

(In reverse) "On any other day, I would've crushed you within my fist, but for some reason you have something in your soul that stops me..."

"Is it my charm? It's gotta be my charm! I do try to be as presentable as possible, and that's just one part of me I have!"

(In reverse) "At times like this though, I severely question my own judgement." -_-

-Character 3: N/A

-Character 4: N/A

-Character 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, whatever: N/A

Posts List:

The Setup (here)

Lore, Backgrounds, and Worldbuilding (x)

When a Rabbit and an Overconfident Box Meet (Coming soon!)

Interactions 1 (Coming soon!)

Oh Great, Ommetaphobia if it gained sentience (Coming soon!)

What's an ol' Telly For? (Coming soon!)

Jax and Visionet: The Exhausting Quest for some Peace and Quiet (Coming Soon!)

Interactions 2 (Coming soon!)

A Sense of "Why do I care about this guy?" (Coming soon!)

Of Hares and Screens (Coming soon!)

Irrational Fears (Coming soon!)

Learning to Live, Learning to Love (Coming Soon!)

Soft Lights, Dull Gold (Coming soon!)

Story Post #1 (Coming soon.)

(That is all for now. To whoever becomes interested in this AU, ask me about anything, criticize any mistakes I make, and just do so for fun, lol)

To give you a preview, here's this: