#just gonna say that “we can't be friends” has been on repeat in my brain ever since you sent that ask

[httpiastri]

hihi!!!!! this is the same anon that was talking to u about yn and paul being ‘we can’t be friends’ coded and pepe’s laugh being the music to my ears heheheheh i was wondering if u do emojis anon??!!! bc if u do and 🎀 is not taken i’ll gladly be ur 🎀 anon!!!!

and AM I HEARING U WANT TO MAKE A COLLEGE!AU FOR PEPE????!!!!! bc if u are then u can consider me so excited that im ready to go into a pepe brain rot and drop any sort of ideas i can think of in ur asks hehe

- 🎀 (??)

oh! hi love!! 🥰🥰 yes i do have emoji anons, i'd love if you became one!! <333 and the emoji is so cute sjdfhdj awe

yes yes yes i've been dreaming of making a college!au abt him!!! and if you're excited about that, then i'm 100x more excited to head about any sort of ideas you have 😚 or any thoughts about him in general. i love every second of thinking about him and when other ppl write to me about him?? i get so so soft 🥺

[zorosangell]

I’d love to see your take on this! maybe reader has been with zoro since they where both children. She’s a little weak and whiny and naggy and clumsy but zoro has always dragged her around to where he goes despite that. Even when zoro left the village to pursue his dream of being the greatest swordsman, he threw her over his shoulder and dragged her with him.

our dilemma is, reader think zoro sees her as a little sister. but he’s her dream and everything more. She feels as if she’s always held him back. I mean, she can’t fight. She doesn’t have any special powers. All she’s good for is shinning his swords and patching up his clothes and nagging him about taking a shower more than once a week. When luffy offers zoro a spot on his newly formed crew, he joins, but she declines. And she’s adamant about it. I’d love to see how zoro convinces her, and how he realizes that he needs to tell her just how much he needs her.

⛥ﾟ・。 inn

synopsis: you'd known zoro nearly all your life—having grown up with the swordsman in his home village—and considered him the most important person in your life... so, after luffy saves you both from the execution yard and invites you to join his crew, you can't help but feel like your lack of strength will end up becoming a hindrance to zoro's dream

cw: fluffy fluff, comfort, zoro is DOWN BAD for reader, reader is clueless, oblivious fools pining pretty much.

a/n: i pray a confession like this finds me

"The hell do you mean you're not coming?" Zoro repeated, brows furrowed as he watched you pack his bag.

"I don't know why you're acting surprised. I've already told you this," you stated, plainly, stuffing a toothbrush in his knapsack. "Did three weeks on the sticks make you hard of hearing?"

"This isn't funny, (y/n)..."

"I'm not laughing, Zoro."

The man scoffed, rolling his eyes at your sarcasm as he pulled himself off the door frame, moving toward you.

This sudden coldness seemed to be coming from nowhere.

"What brought this on?" he asked, seriously, "Before we started this journey, you were itching to get off Shimotsuki. Now all of a sudden you wanna go back home?"

"It is not all of a sudden," you corrected, sharply, halting your movements and snapping your head over to him with furrowed brows.

You didn't appreciate that he was making it sound you were doing this on a whim.

In reality, you'd been thinking about this for a while.

"You sure about that? 'Cause this is the first I'm hearing about it," he fired back with just as much bite. "So unless you've been keeping something from me, then yes, it is all of a sudden."

You groaned, annoyed with and unprepared for such rigorous questioning.

Though, in hindsight, you should've figured.

When it came to things about you, Zoro seemed to stand at full attention, acting as if figuring out whatever was up with you was as interesting as finding the One Piece.

Little did you know, it was something as simple as fear...

You went quiet, frantically racking your brain for something to say, his side eye practically burning through your flesh.

"I'm homesick, alright..." you lied, horribly, averting your eyes from him. "I miss Sensei... and Haru... and Kenzo..."

"Bullshit," he scoffed, not buying it for a second. "The day we left, you wouldn't shut up about how happy you were to leave Haru and Kenzo behind."

You gulped, a pit of nervousness sinking in your stomach at his tone.

He sounded pissed.

"You've always been a terrible liar, (y/n), so cut the crap and spit it out."

The swordsman slowly stalked even closer, until he stood right before you, forcing you to look up at him.

"I'm not asking again."

"Can't you just leave this alone?!" you whined with a exasperated sigh, throwing your head back. "Why the hell do you care so much?"

"I care because my best friend is ditching me when we promised we were gonna sail across the world together!"

"I'm not ditching you!"

"You're ditching me, (y/n)! Ditching me to go back home for what? For Haru and Kenzo? The guys I used to beat up 'cause they'd pick on you?!"

"It's not like that!"

"Oh, then, please, by all means, tell me what it's like!"

"I'm holding you back, alright!" you barked, stunning the man to silence.

Your chest tugged as the words echoed in the air, feeling that much more real.

God, you were so ashamed.

You wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you whole.

"You're what?" Zoro asked, completely confused.

"I'm dead weight! A burden! A hindrance! A million other words for weakling I can't think of right now..." you continued, plopping yourself down on the bed, defeated. "Whenever I try to fend for myself, I always get knocked on my ass, and you always have to turn around and save me! That's not something we can keep up if we're joining a pirate crew! And especially not if we're heading out to the Grand Line!"

You sighed, looking down at your lap, sadly.

"People like me don't survive in a place like that... And if you wanna become the World's Greatest Swordsman, then you can't have any distractions... especially none of the bumbling little sister variety."

Saying that last part felt like swallowing glass.

You hated everything about this whole conversation.

Of course, you wanted to travel the world with Zoro; that'd been your dream for as long as you'd know him.

But you loved him to much to hold him back.

The man was going places, and deserved to pursue his ambitions without worrying about you being killed while he wasn't looking.

Taking a breath, Zoro inhaled deeply through his nose, before he hit you in the face with a pillow, harshly, knocking you back on the bed.

"OW!" you yelped, muffled by the cushion smothering your face. "THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"

"THAT'S WHAT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT?! YOU MADE ME THINK THAT I—"

The man stopped himself abruptly, taking a moment to regain his composure.

You nearly scared him half to death.

He though he had done something or said something wrong that made you want to abandon your dream.

The possibility was eating him alive, and he frantically racked his brain to try to recall what he did.

Obviously, it didn't work, and only further filled him with the dread of continuing on his journey alone.

But now that he knew what the real problem was, it'd be a cold day in hell before he'd ever let it ruin your plans.

"Look..." he started, carefully removing the pillow from your face. "I don't know why you said all that crap about you bein' a burden or a weakling or whatever, 'cause I know you're not one..."

His gaze shifted to you, seriously, his steel eyes practically peering into your soul.

"But even if you were... you think that's gonna convince me leave you behind? Like we aren't friends?"

He shook his head, giving up on pretending.

"Hell, like we aren't more than that?"

You let out a slight gasp, eyes nearly as wide as saucers.

This had to be a dream...

"A couple of cheap excuses won't make me give up on you, (y/n)," he continued on, a small smirk creeping onto his face. "Our journey's not over. And I'll drag you by your ankles kicking and screaming before I let you go back to that village by yourself."

Swiftly, his arm snaked under your waist, yanking you up with a yelp and allowing him to get a better look at your face.

God, you were so damn pretty...

That crush of his had been a constant presence in his life since the moment he met you, and now it looked like it would be there for even longer.

"You're my (y/n), you hear me? Not a little sister. Not a nuisance. My (y/n)," Zoro stated, plainly, not a single hint of doubt in his tone. "Nobody else can take your place. And I'm not leaving this goddamn inn until you promise that you're coming with me to join Luffy's crew."

Suddenly, his face became somber, expression turning vulnerable as his eyes glimmered with a slight hint of fear.

You were his anchor... his tether to the ground.

You'd been there from the moment he first picked up a sword, acting as a nurse and his number one cheerleader during his crusade against Kuina.

He'd become accustomed to your mindless conversations as he trained.

Accustomed to your post-battle scoldings as you patched him up.

Accustomed to your adorable snorts of laughter as you two yukked it up over dinner.

You had become so intertwined with him and his dream, that he no longer found any distinguishing feature between the two.

And rather, he realized something of vital importance...

"I need you by my side, (y/n)..." he stated, firmly, grip tightening around your waist. "Without you..."

He attempted to gather himself once again, eyes staring into yours like they held the heavens in their iris.

"Without you... I'll never be the World's Greatest Swordsman."

You practically turned into a cherry, so overwhelmed that you could barely speak.

This is a bad idea!

You're gonna get yourself killed!

He won't be there every time!

He'll get sick of you!

But you quieted the intrusive thoughts, your answer already set the moment the words left his lips.

"If we make it out to sea... you'll really be stuck with me," you sighed with a faint chuckle, resting your forehead against his. "No turning back."

He smirked, leaning into you as well.

"Wouldn't want it any other way."

With a playful shrug, you let out a dramatic sigh, looking up at him with a cheeky smile.

"Well, since you asked so nicely... I guess I can come with you."

His eyes widened with surprise, and without a moment's hesitation, he kissed you, smashing his lips on yours with a passion so palpable, it nearly knocked you back onto the bed.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he pulled his hold even tighter, your places in each other's arms feeling nothing short of home.

And, once everything was said and done, you two pulled away, staring into each other's eyes.

Within them, you could find nothing but pure, unfiltered devotion.

[homerforsure]

Saw the episode. Ascended to a higher plane. Wrote a small Coda that is as messy as my brain is right now. Bone Apple Tea.

"Heyyyyyy Buck!" Eddie answers the phone with a drawn out salutation that proves Tommy was not lying about him being sent away from the hospital with the good drugs. Or, not lying about the prescription, but about Eddie actually taking them. It wasn't so long ago that Eddie would take enough medicine to avoid being in agony, but never quite enough to actually feel relief. He wouldn't do that for Tommy, however close they are. It's something that Eddie's doing for himself. Buck's stomach was a swarm of butterflies three seconds ago, but that and the floaty happy way Eddie still says his name, has him smiling again in his kitchen.

"Hey Eddie. I, um, I'm sorry to call so late. I just wanted to see how- how you were doing."

"Eh, I'll miss a shift or two. But Doc says I'll be ready to go for playoffs," Eddie answers.

Guilt twists through him, harsh and acidic and Buck says, "Well I'm glad to hear that. They say the team doesn't have a chance without you and your, um, sky dunk." Eddie laughs, giggles really, in reply and Buck says, "I'm sorry, Eddie. I don't know why I did that. I mean- I- I know why. I was jealous of you and- and Tommy-" Buck's heart flips as he says his name and he's afraid the kiss is going to come flying out of his mouth and down the phone line- "But I never wanted you to get hurt like that."

"You wanted me to get hurt different?" Eddie asks, still laughing, but Buck feels stricken.

"No! I- maybe. I don't know what I wanted. I lost my mind for a little bit."

"You were jealous," Eddie repeats.

"Yeah, I was."

A long sigh and Eddie says, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I was the asshole. I could have- I knocked you out of your shoe."

"Do you have my shoe?" Eddie asks, more focused than he has been the rest of the conversation. Buck can hear him sitting up on the couch.

"Uh, no. No, I gave it to Chim. He's gonna give it to you when he sees you. And probably make about 50 Cinderella jokes."

"Right. He texted me. I remember."

"I'm sure he'll bring it by sooner if you need it. Or he could give it to Tommy." The flush is there again, hot down the back of his neck. Buck doesn't know how he's supposed to do this. Where is he supposed to keep all of this heat and possibility while he waits for Saturday.

"You don't like him."

"Who? Chim? He's growing on me."

"Tommy," Eddie answers in a tone that says duh. "You can't even say his name normal."

Of course Eddie can hear that. Of course he assumes that's the problem after the way Buck has acted since the moment they met the man. He thanks god that he decided to call instead of driving across town and checking on Eddie in person. His cheeks and his ears are burning like fire.

"He can tell, you know. We both can. He said he's going to come talk to you. Gave him your address. Wants to apologize." Eddie must have settled back down on the couch. He sounds sleepier, his sentences getting shorter and more breathy.

"He did. He um. He came by. We talked it out. I told him you guys didn't have anything to apologize for. I was the one who made it weird."

"So weird," Eddie agrees and Buck laughs. "You guys should be friends. He's awesome and you're awesome and we can all hang out together and it would be..."

"Awesome," Buck finishes. He thinks it might be.

"I forgot you don't know that."

"Know what?" Buck asks, when Eddie's mumble doesn't come with any additional clarification. "Eddie?"

"Hmm?"

"Never mind. Hey, you should get up and go to your bed. Sleeping on that couch is not going to help your ankle heal any faster."

"Tommy said that."

"Tommy's right. Come on."

Eddie groans as he sits up, cursing at Buck in what he thinks is under his breath, and asks, "You talked to Tommy?"

"Yeah, he just left."

"And we're okay? You like him now?"

Buck's blood roars through his ears and he wants to throw up and start laughing all at the same time. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Good."

He breathes through the sudden headrush as Eddie grumbles and hops his way off the couch and down the hall. Buck knows where he's finding his handholds by the echo off the walls and he winces when Eddie takes a misstep and swears again. He thinks for a second that he should be there, that he should help Eddie to bed, but Eddie would never let him. Buck wonders if Tommy would let him. He's wondering about so much now and he never did before.

"Hey, Eds?" The question is out before Buck realizes he's asking it, small and vulnerable, and he wants to claw it back and swallow it down before Eddie notices, but he doesn't have a chance.

"Yeah?"

Tommy kissed me. I want him to do it again.

"No, nothing. Just. I'm sorry. I was out of line."

"You were," Eddie answers. "And I forgive you."

Something settles in Buck then. A piece that had still been sitting off kilter and jamming painfully under his ribs. He takes a deep breath, and joy washes fully over him, calming and centering. He doesn't ask the question again though. He thinks he wants to keep this tiny, glowing treasure to himself. At least for a little while.

"Bring me my shoe back and we'll call it even."

Buck laughs, letting the sound ring out through his apartment and he can hear Eddie smiling on the other end of the phone.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

"you can do whatever you want, you're not Stuck With Me."

"i'll tell you one thing, we'd make history, you and me. you're getting closer now, it's getting better now, but you're still so far gone."

synopsis// bottled up feelings have to come out eventually.

pairing// suguru geto x gn!reader

word count// 8k

contents// angst with a happy ending, college!au, literally just y/n and geto being idiots but mostly y/n, shoko only knows tough love, obligatory rain scene, friends to lovers, ooc geto?

notes// scorpions are haunting me so i’m posting this as a distraction. anyways one of my anons requested this!!! so anon i hope i did ur idea justice and that u like it sorry its kinda all over the place.... anywho so besides this being a request, it was also inspired by the song the point by eatmewhileimhot! bye :3 OH and if anyone else has any other requests feel free to lmk!!

You poke at your food, focusing on the sound your fork makes as it scrapes against your plate instead of whatever the person sitting across from you is saying. You know you should pay attention; you know you’re being rude, but god, are you bored out of your fucking mind. You would much rather be hanging out with Suguru right now, feeling a twinge of regret at turning him down just for this.

“Y/N?” 

Your head raises to look at the person in front of you. “Huh?” 

They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

You frown sheepishly. “Uh, no, sorry.”

“It’s fine,“ they say, clearing their throat, “I was just saying how I kinda wish we went somewhere else cause I'm craving zaru soba, but I wanted to impress you, you know?”

You nod, not computing the last of his sentence with your brain stuck on the mention of zaru soba. “Suguru likes that.”

“What?”

“Zaru soba—Suguru likes that.”

Your date shoots you a confused stare, and you subconsciously sink into your chair.

“Is, uh, is there something on my face or?” you ask, bringing your hands up to feel around your face.

They shake their head. “No, it’s just—uh, you bring up this Suguru guy a lot, and by a lot, I mean like you’ve brought him up this whole date...”

“I have?” 

They nod. 

“Shit—i’m sorry..” 

“It’s fine.” They dismiss your apology by asking, “What is he to you anyway?”

You stare at him blankly. That’s an easy question. Suguru, to you, is your—he’s your—

“He your friend or something?”

Yes! Suguru is your friend—your best friend even—so why can't you say it out loud? Why are you hesitating?

You laugh nervously, mumbling, “Or something...”

“Or something?” they repeat in hopes you’ll elaborate on what you mean.

You don’t.

Instead, you stand abruptly out of your seat and gather your things. “Um! You know, this has been really great and all, but I actually think I should get going.”

"Oh, okay,” they say, standing up with you. “Uh, do you wanna do this again maybe?”

“You're a lovely person, but...

“It's Suguru, isn't it?”

“What?” You almost choke on your spit as you frantically stammer, “No, uh, no! It's not Suguru-Suguru’s just my-it's-“ you pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. “It's not because of him.”

They curtly hum. “Thanks for giving me a chance anyway.”

You nod. “I'm gonna—I'm gonna go.”

☆☆☆☆

Suguru is face down on a pillow on his bed when Gojo walks into their shared dorm.

“What happened now?” He asks as he goes to sit on the edge of Suguru’s bed.

“Y/N’s on a date,” he grumbles into the pillow, his words barely audible.

Gojo rolls his eyes. "Suguru, this is just sad at this point.”

Suguru lifts his head and glares at Gojo from over his shoulder. His eyes burning holes into the other's head.

“What? It is!” 

Suguru groans and kicks Gojo as he buries his face back into his pillow.

“Ow! Don’t get mad at me for telling the truth!”

Suguru kicks him again.

“Stop that! You’re acting like a child!”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Ok, listen, this isn’t about me,” Gojo adds, rolling his eyes.

Suguru rolls onto his back and drapes an arm over his face, muttering, “Whatever.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Gojo grumbles as he stands up and walks over to his own bed. “I can't take this, Suguru.“ He grabs his pillow and throws it at Suguru. "You can't do this every time they go on a date!”

Suguru doesn’t even flinch when the pillow lands on his face, nor does he bother moving it as he responds, “Watch me.”

Gojo walks back over to Suguru and grabs the pillow from his face before resuming his position on the end of Suguru's bed. "How long has it been?”

“Since?”

“Since you first started liking them.”

Suguru hesitates to answer, “Too long.”

“Exactly!” Gojo exclaims, shaking the pillow in his hands for dramatic effect. “Maybe…”

Suguru waits a moment to see if Gojo will finish his sentence, and when he doesn’t, Suguru sits up, quirking up his eyebrow at him as he asks slowly, as if attempting to subtly warn Gojo to pick his next words carefully: "Maybe what, Gojo?”

“Maybe it’s time to try and move on, Suguru…” He frowns and asks softly, “Are you just gonna torture yourself like this for the rest of your life?”

Suguru sighs and turns away from Gojo, a small frown on his face. He knows he’s right, but he’s scared in all honesty because, on the one hand, what if it works? What if he actually does move on? What if it was this easy to move on this whole time and he was just here torturing himself for nothing? And on the other hand, he doesn't want it to. He’s liked you for so long. You've taken up so much of his heart that, at this point, he thinks his heart is shaped like you, and it would feel wrong to not like you. He can't imagine himself not being completely and utterly devoted to you, and he doesn’t think he wants to.

“Suguru.” 

Suguru's brows knit together as he looks up at Gojo.

Gojo sighs. “Just try? One date. That’s all I’m asking.”

Suguru rolls his eyes, but there’s no real malice behind it. “I don’t even know anybody, Gojo.”

He perks up at the absence of rejection and happily explains, “Don’t worry bout that; leave it all up to me!" He emphasizes the word 'me' by pointing toward himself.

“Ok, well, that makes me even more inclined to say no.”

"Suguru, pleaseee,” Gojo begs. “Just one date!! That’s all I’m asking! You’re my friend, Suguru, and I know I don’t act like it, but I really do hate seeing you like this.”

Suguru crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow at him in suspicion, wondering, “Why are you being nice?”

“Because, contrary to popular belief, I do in fact care about my friends.”

Suguru breathes out heavily at his response, letting a brief silence wash over them.

“So..." Gojo pries. 

“Fine.”

“Yay!-“

Suguru instantly cuts him off, one finger raised, as he emphasizes sharply, “But just one date, Gojo.“

“Good enough for me!” he says, nodding quickly. “This will be the best date of your life, and you’ll realize you don’t even like Y/N all that much!”

Suguru feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him from that statement but quickly plays it off with a scoff, “Yeah, or it’s the worst date of my life, and I realize just how much more I like Y/N.”

“Ok, well,“ Gojo frowns and scratches his head awkwardly, “Can we at least try to be optimistic?”

“Fine.”

☆☆☆☆

Shoko’s sitting on her bed with her textbook in her lap when you enter your dorm, kicking your shoes off haphazardly across the room and slamming the door shut.

“You good?”

You groan in response as you sluggishly make your way toward her, pushing the book off her lap and instead replacing it with your head.

She looks down at you with a raised eyebrow. “I was reading that, you know.”

You groan again, but this time it comes out louder and more gutteral.

“Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or are you gonna just lay here in my lap groaning?” she asks, rolling her eyes.

You pout, looking up at her. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“Where should I start?”

“Shoko,” you whine.

She bites back a smile as she asks, “Why would you think something's wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” you mutter. “I mean, I go on so many dates, right?”

Shoko nods and hums something in acknowledgment.

“But they all never end up working out! Like none of them!” You exclaim, throwing your hands out in front of you, barely missing Shoko, who jerks her head to the side just in time. “They always all say the same thing.”

She pushes your hands back down so that she can return to her original position and asks, “Which is?”

You let your hands fall onto your chest as you turned your head to the side to avoid her gaze, mumbling, “That I mention Suguru a lot.”

You don’t even have to look back up at her to know she’s raising her eyebrows at you in question.

“Well, do you?”

Your gaze snaps back up at her as you exclaim, “Yeah, but!” You pause. “He's my… He's my best friend, so obviously I'd mention him a lot!”

The word best friend feels heavy and foreign in your mouth, like it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. You’ve never had to put a label on you and Suguru, not until the dates at least, but even then, you and Suguru were just... simply that. You were just you and Suguru.

“Really feeling the love here.”

“Shokoooooo.”

She rolls her eyes. “You were just on a date, right?”

You nod. 

“And so what happened?”

“Nothing! I was bored; I'm always bored on these dates.”

"Okay, hypothetically,” she says, “What would you have rather been doing?”

“Hanging out with Suguru! I always tell myself that I'm literally gonna stop canceling on him for dates because I always end up regretting it.”

“Right, right,” she says, nodding. “Y/N, have you ever considered that maybe you like Geto?”

You roll your eyes. “Of course I like Suguru, idiot. Did you not just hear me call him my-“

She cuts you off: “Your best friend. Yeah, whatever; that's not what I mean. I mean, like. romantically.”

“Huh?” Shoko’s words take a minute to fully register in your brain, but once they do, your jaw drops. “Huh?! Pft, no, of course not, that is... That is a… That is a silly thought.”

She stares down at you blankly, knowing the way you just stumbled over your whole sentence reveals your lack of conviction in your own words. "Right… Well, if you’re gonna be an idiot in denial, can you do that in your own bed? I need to study.”

You roll your eyes as you sit up. “Is studying all you do?”

She shrugs, and now that her lap is free from you, she places her textbook back into her lap. “Is obsessing over Geto all you do?”

“I don't like you.”

“You love me. Now leave me alone.”

You begrudgingly hop off her bed and into your own, making it a point to sigh dramatically the whole time. Once you're in your own bed, your phone goes off, and upon seeing who the message is from, you bite back a smile.

Shoko looks up from her textbook at the noise. “Oh? That your man?”

“Shut your mouth.”

She simply laughs under her breath before returning to her studies, and you happily return your attention back to your phone. 

Suguru<3: hey

Y/N: hey!

Suguru<3: oh I didn't expect you to reply so quick lol. I thought u were on a date?

Y/N: was :/ that shit suckedddddd it was so boring Suguru pls I would've much rather hung out with you

Suguru<3: well I mean u could've

Y/N: I KNOWWWW ugh next time remind me to never cancel on you for a lame date again k?

Suguru<3: yeah I will… so I'm taking it you won't be seeing them again?

Y/N: definitely not... I do wanna see u again tho!!

Suguru<3: you'll see me in class y/n

Y/N: yeah but that's so far awayyyyy

Suguru<3: yk if u wanna hangout rn u can just say so 

Y/N: do u wanna hang out?

Suguru<3: he can't he's busy -gojo 

Y/N: gojo when I get my hands on u. 

Suguru<3: :p -gojo

You groan dramatically and throw your phone somewhere onto your bed as you shove your face into your pillow, mumbling, “I'm going to sleep.”

“Eager to see your man tomorrow?”

“Die.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Gojo and Suguru are walking to class when Gojo starts humming obnoxiously, like he’s thinking about something and wants someone to notice, so he doesn’t stop until Suguru sighs.

“Can you shut up?”

Gojo frowns and feigns hurt. “Aren’t you gonna ask me what I’m thinking about?”

“Fine, what are you thinking about, Gojo?”

Gojo slightly leans in toward Suguru as he coos, “Thinking about who I’m gonna set you up with, obviously!”

"Oh, right about that...”

“Nuh uh, you can't back out!”

“But I think they might feel the same?” Suguru says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Gojo’s head whips toward Suguru in shock. “Wait huh?” 

“Before you stole my phone yesterday—which I’m still mad about, by the way—they said they would’ve rather hung out with me than go on the date,” he says, pulling out his phone to show Gojo the texts.

Gojo doesn’t say anything, and the lack of anything coming out of his mouth worries Suguru, who’s now scanning Gojo’s face for a trace of anything to tell him what the other is thinking and gets it when Gojo finally cracks a frown.

“What? Why do you look like that?” Suguru asks, and he hates how it comes out more panicked than he intended, his own voice like nails on a chalkboard to his ears.

“I don't wanna say anything that would get your hopes up,” Gojo says, his gaze now fixed on his steps. “And besides, maybe this date could still be good.”

“You’re not gonna let me get out of this, are you?”

“Of course not!” he says, his regular pep back in his step. “So does tomorrow work for you?”

“Yeah, whatever, Gojo, you’d make me go regardless, I don’t know why you ask.”

“Lol, true anyway." Gojo’s steps come to a halt. "Here’s my class; see you later!”

Suguru waves him off: "Yeah, whatever, oh, and Gojo?”

“Hm?”

“At least set me up with someone good," he says, an ever-so-slight smile on his face.

“Of course! Leave it all up to me, bestie!”

Suguru nods and continues on toward his own class, only then does he huff, “Yeah, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

☆☆☆☆

You sat in your seat, your cheek leaning in your palm, sighing every so often from boredom but quickly perking up when you notice a familiar face walk through the door.

“Suguru!” 

“Y/N!”

Your gaze is glued to him as you watch him take his seat beside you; only once he’s fully situated do you speak up again: “I was wondering if you were skipping or something.”

Suguru tilts his head at you in confusion, asking, “Why?”

“Because you took so long.”

He tries to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Shut up. What were you doing anyway?”

Suguru rolls his eyes. “Gojo made me walk him to class.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, your voice unamused as you speak, “Lame excuse, I walk with Shoko to her class every day and I still get here before you.”

“Yeah, that’s cause it’s Shoko?”

“True, I’ll excuse it for today if...”

“If?” He narrows his eyes at you, urging you to continue your sentence.

“If we hang out tomorrow?”

“Can we hang out today?” He looks away as he says, “I’m kinda busy tomorrow....”

“Aw man,” you say, frowning, “You’re never busy.”

“I know, sorry, it’s just—" He halts before mumbling out the rest of his sentence—“something Gojo’s making me do.”

Suguru finally returns his gaze to you when he hears you huff.

“He’s taking you from me too often; I'll have to intervene sooner or later if he keeps this up.”

He stifles a laugh. “Can you not today?”

“Nope, I've gotta work on a project for one of my classes,” you say with a disappointed sigh.

“Okay, well, how about Wednesday, then?”

“I can fit you into my schedule, I suppose.”

“Oh shut up; don’t act like you weren’t the one asking me to hang out last night.”

“I was a different person then,” you deadpan.

Suguru rolls his eyes but can’t even try to hide the grin on his face. “Yeah, ok.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Come the next afternoon, Suguru finds himself staring into a mirror at his outfit with a small scowl on his face.

“I look stupid.”

“You always look stupid,” Gojo remarks, patting Suguru on the back.

Suguru ignores him and rolls his eyes, his voice small as he borderline pleads, “Do I really have to go?”

“Yes! It’s too late to back out now when your date is in like twenty minutes, so really you should get going by now,” he says while attempting to push Suguru out the door.

Suguru doesn’t budge. “I don't even know this person, Gojo.”

“That’s what dates are for!”

Suguru looks over his shoulder at Gojo, who’s still trying to push him out the door. “You know this isn’t gonna work, right?”

Gojo rolls his eyes and huffs, “Well, not with that attitude.”

“Gojo.”

“Suguru, you said you’d try! so go! try!”

Suguru sighs and reluctantly gives in… again. “I hate you.”

Gojo waves him off, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you can hate me after your date.”

Suguru doesn’t reply and instead opts to flip him off as he walks out the door.

☆☆☆☆

Suguru sits at a secluded booth in a dimly lit restaurant, lost in thought rather than listening to whatever the person sitting across from him is saying. He knows he should be paying attention; he knows he’s being rude, but god is he bored out of his fucking mind, and to say he’s hating every second of this is an understatement. He’d much rather be hanging out with you right now, regretting turning you down for this because just being here makes a part of him feel like he’s betraying you, and the thought has him anxiously wiping his sweaty palms against his pants. He’s been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you. Suguru was naive to believe he could delude himself into thinking that there was any possibility in any way that he’d move on, let alone with someone Gojo picked.

“Suguru?”

He quickly looks up at the person in front of him. “Yeah?”

They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

“No, sorry—I guess I was just, uh, lost in thought.”

"Oh, it’s fine,” they say, confusingly normal about the whole situation. “I was just, um, talking about your friend Gojo, actually.”

He blinks. “Why?”

“I was actually hoping you'd help me get with him?”

“You do realize you're on a date with me, right?”

“Please.” They roll their eyes. “Don't act like you wanna be here any more than I do right now.”

“How did-“

“It's written all over your face, you know? They must be really special.” They tease with a sweet smile, “I almost feel like I should be jealous.”

Suguru swallows harshly, suddenly feeling way more exposed than he would ever want to, especially on a ‘date’. “Sorry…”

They shrug. “Don't be; honestly, I just said yes to this to get some pointers on Gojo, so I don't think I'm any better than you right now.”

Suguru nods, his mind reeling. He’s not actually sure what’s going on or how he got here in the first place. How could his date be so okay with the fact that he’s here thinking about someone else? Oh, right, because so are they, but it’s still not clicking in his brain.

“You can leave if you want.”

He narrows his eyes at them skeptically. “Huh?”

“To go hang out with the one you actually like.”

Suguru shakes his head. There’s somehow too much happening right now for him to comprehend. “Again, what?”

They roll their eyes playfully, an amused smile on their face, as they lean over the table and whisper, “Suguru, I'm giving you an out.”

He blinks, and suddenly everything clicks, and he doesn’t understand why he’s still here when they just told him they could go to you. He stands up abruptly and says, “Right, I'm...“

“Don't say you're sorry; make it up to me by going to them, yeah?”

“I really appreciate that. Uhm, text me and I'll give you pointers on Gojo?”

They laugh and nod. “Yeah. Now, shoo, go to the one you actually want to be with.”

Suguru turns his head toward the exit of the restaurant, ready to leave, but pauses and ends up turning back to his ‘date’, a small smile on his face. “Thank you.”

“Mhm! Also, I want to meet them sometime, k? We’re friends now, sorry!”

“Yeah… Yeah, you can. Someday? Maybe…”

They tilt their head at him, unamused despite the smile on their face. “Bye Suguru.”

He returns the smile and waves before heading off to find you.

☆☆☆☆

You found yourself under a tree somewhere on campus, attempting—and failing—to entertain yourself since Suguru was busy and couldn't hang out, and you didn't even dare try to go to Shoko for entertainment, knowing her face is probably stuffed into her textbook and she would berate you for interrupting her, or if she did agree, she would spend the whole time with her whole face screaming how she would much rather be studying, even when her studying proves to be just for fun because she cheats on her exams anyway, but you digress. Lost in thought, you don't notice how someone’s approached you until their shadow falls over you.

“You dead?”

You look up and are pleasantly surprised to see Suguru. “Hey! I thought you were busy?”

Suguru shrugs. “Left early.”

“What’d you go do anyway?”

“A date.”

The minute the words leave Suguru’s mouth, you can feel your stomach churn in a horrible way. like you’re on a rollercoaster, but it's not fun; you want to get off, and you want to get off now, like this is final destination and you’re about to fall to your doom. Or more so, this makes you realize you've already fallen to your doom; you've already fallen in love with Suguru, and it took Shoko saying something and him going on a date for it to really sink in like it hadn't been there all along. Your jaw clenches, and you're quiet—terrifyingly quiet—and it makes Suguru regret saying anything; he doesn’t even know why he did... Okay, no, he knows. He knows he was acting petty and wanted to rub it in your face like you rub your dates in his, even if not purposeful, and besides, you two are friends, and friends are honest with each other. But maybe he shouldn’t have been, and it's excrutiatingly obvious he shouldn't have been when you suddenly stand up and avoid his gaze.

“Y/N?”

You kick at the dirt under your shoes and mumble, “I should, um, Shoko actually just texted me.”

“Y/N, can you look at me, please?” Suguru sounds desperate.

You look up at him and smile, but with the way your eyes are glazed over, it’s like you’re not even there. “Yeah?” 

“I thought we could hang out now?” 

“Yeah, but—ugh—Shoko really needs my help, you know?”

“Are we still on for tomorrow at least?”

“I hope your date was good, Suguru.”

“Y/N-“

“If I keep her waiting any longer, she’ll be really mad. I’m gonna go.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Suguru wishes he could say he’s surprised when you don’t show up to class the next day, but he’s not. Not at all. Especially from the way you ran off yesterday to how you’re still not answering any of his texts or calls, it was a telltale sign that Suguru would not be seeing you today. That didn’t stop him from trying, though. Of course not. So halfway through class, he left—not like he was paying attention anyway—and made his way to your dorm. Though he hesitates to knock once he’s actually there, he doesn’t even know why you’re ignoring him in the first place, and honestly? He’s scared to find out.

You’ve never acted like this with him before; you’ve always been an open book, always the first to speak up if something he did upset you, so he doesn’t understand why you’ve suddenly done a complete 180. He takes a deep breath before knocking. He came all this way; he isn’t going to just leave without figuring out what's wrong—or at least he’s going to try to figure out what's wrong.

No answer.

He knocks again.

No answer.

Suguru groans as he goes to knock one more time, but before he can, the door is swung open, and he’s met with a disheveled-looking Shoko.

“What?”

“Shoko, hi—“ Suguru gives her a quick once-over. "Sorry, were you asleep?”

She crosses her arms and blows a tuft of hair out of her face. “I was, and I'd like to go back to sleep, so-“

“Right, sorry, uh, is Y/N here?”

“No,” she replies quickly, far too quickly that Suguru doesn't believe her and instead tries to look into the room to find you. Shoko immediately picks up on this and shifts her body to cover any gaps he could look through. “They aren’t here, sorry.”

“Shoko,” he monotones.

She chews the inside of her lip and looks away, and Suguru can tell she's dying to say something, but she ultimately decides against it and shakes her head, looking back up at him.

“They’re not here, sorry.”

Suguru sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It's fine, sorry for waking you.”

“It's fine… Take care of yourself, Geto.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Shoko quickly shuts the door, and instead of climbing back into bed, she grabs her pillow and makes her way toward your bed, only to end up hitting you with it repeatedly. You pull your covers over your head in a futile attempt to protect yourself.

“Shoko, stop!”

“You stop.” She punctuates every word with a hit of her pillow.

“You’re the one hitting me!”

Shoko hits you one last time. “I mean, stop ignoring him, idiot.”

You peek your head out from under the covers, a frown on your face.

“Don't look at me like that; you’re acting childish, and you know that.”

“I can’t look at him.”

“You’re dramatic.”

“Shoko, I'm serious!” You speak adamantly, sitting up. “I mean, I realize I like him the exact moment he tells me he went on a date?”

“Who’s fault is that?”

“Shoko, I-I can't.”

“Whatever, sulk all you want; don't talk to him about it; I don't care; just scoot over.”

Your face twists in confusion. “What?”

“I'm tired,” she says blankly, now climbing into your bed.

You listen and scoot over, though it's more like she pushes you over. “You know you have your own bed, right?”

She yawns: “Too far away.”

You look down at her, and she's somehow already fast asleep. You roll your eyes and lay back down, looking up at the ceiling with your mind racing, and suddenly your phone vibrates. You know who it is; he’s the only one who texts you, but that doesn’t stop you from checking anyway.

Suguru<3: hey. 

Suguru<3: did I do something?

Suguru<3: I don't understand.

Suguru<3: you weren't in class so I tried going to ur dorm. shoko said you weren't there but I don't really believe her.

Suguru<3: can you just talk to me please?

Suguru<3: I miss you.

Suguru<3: guess this means we aren’t hanging out today huh?

Suguru<3: text me soon please.

☆☆☆☆

Thursday 

Suguru<3: no class again?

Suguru<3: look I get it

Suguru<3: okay maybe I don't.

Suguru<3: I don't know what I did wrong but if you don't wanna talk that's fine

Suguru<3: can you just let me know you’re okay?

Suguru<3: fuck I don't even care if you have shoko tell me you’re okay or if you tell gojo I just

Suguru<3: I just need to know you’re okay y/n. 

Suguru<3: how long are you gonna avoid me?

Suguru<3: or avoid class?

Suguru<3: I miss you.

“Can you answer your fucking phone,” Shoko snaps.

You glare at her and instead shut your phone off completely. “There. Happy?”

"No, not at all; I won't be happy till you stop sulking.”

You smile at her condescendingly. "You are so lovely; did you know that?”

She sighs deeply. “Y/N, you’re ignoring Geto because he went on one date.”

“I'm ignoring him because I'm in love with him.”

She narrows her eyes at you. “And he's supposed to know that how? I'm a hundred percent sure the poor boy has no clue what he did.”

“Shoko, you don't get it! You've never been in love,” you sneer.

“I don't need to be in love to know you're acting stupid.” She shakes her head. “You know what? Ignore him all you want; that's your problem, but you need to go to class; don't throw away your college degree for him.”

You sigh, finally agreeing with her on at least one thing. “Yeah... Yeah, I know I'll go tomorrow.”

She nods happily. “Good. Now can I get back to studying?”

“I'm not the one who made you stop, you took that upon yourself.”

“Watch yourself; I'll walk my ass straight to Geto's dorm and tell him for you.”

“…Sorry”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

You get to class the next day extremely early and take a seat in the far back, away from everyone else, hoping Suguru would somehow not see you, or maybe more like in hopes you wouldn’t see him. It doesn't work. The minute he walks in, his eyes are drawn to yours like there was an invisible string there tying him directly to you, and your stomach twists as you see him approach you. As he’s approaching you, he sees your face, and he sees how you look like you're five seconds away from vomiting up everything you’ve ever eaten since you were born, so he stops in his tracks. Besides, a confrontation in the middle of class wouldn't be a good idea either way, so he’ll just catch you after class.

That somehow proves to be much harder than it should have been because once class ends and he turns around to catch you before you leave, you're already gone. He blinks incredulously at your empty seat for a moment before snapping out of it and running out into the halls, trying to find you among the crowd of people, which is easy for him considering you're the only thing that exists to Suguru right now and pretty much always, but even despite that, he can't find you. He stands in the hall, watching people pass him by as he does nothing, and the only thing he can hear is his heartbeat ringing in his ears and the rain that suddenly started sometime during all of this.

He finally snaps out of it once more and realizes that since it randomly started raining, there's a chance that you're somewhere waiting the rain out, unless you are so dead set on avoiding him that you don't care in the first place and walk back to your dorm in the rain anyway... Suguru hopes he's right as he starts walking toward the exit, and exhales heavily in relief when he sees you out on the porch and slowly creeps up behind you.

“Did you know it was gonna rain?”

You flinch at the sound of his voice. “No.”

Suguru’s heart feels like it's about to burst right out of his chest, and he feels like it's been way too long since he's heard your voice. “I think Gojo is gonna bring me an umbrella; do you wanna wait with me?”

“No.”

“No?”

You shake your head and start walking out into the rain, but you don't get far when Suguru reaches out and grabs your wrist.

“Wait!”

You look back at him, your jaw clenched tight. “Let go of me, Suguru.”

“You’ll get sick.”

You yank your wrist out of his grasp. “I don't care; I want to go back to my dorm.”

For a few moments, Suguru feels stuck in place as he watches you begin to walk away, yet everything in his being is screaming at him to go after you, to not let you go. He doesn’t even realize he was holding his breath this whole time until he gasps for air, and at the same time, his body finally decides to align with his mind, and he runs after you. You can hear his foot steps pattering against puddles, which only makes you speed up your walking.

Suguru notices this, and although he's still chasing after you, he decides to call out a pained, “Why are you ignoring me?”

You almost don't even hear him over how loud the rain has grown.

Almost.

“I'm not ignoring you, Suguru,” you say, stopping in your tracks with a deep sigh. He’ll catch you sooner or later, so maybe it's best to just get it over with.

Suguru doesn’t say anything until he's right behind you. You can hear just how clearly his voice trembles as he says, “Oh, so we’re lying now?”

“I'm no-“

“What the fuck happened? What are you doing?” and although he sounded exasperated only a second ago, when he speaks again, it's horrifyingly subdued: “This—this isn't us.”

You whip around to face him, a scowl on your face as you fume, “There is no us.”

Suguru’s face goes blank. No us? That's not right. That's all there is. There's only ever been an us because Suguru is not him without you. It's never just Suguru. It's you and Suguru; it's him and you; there's no him without you.

“What?”

“There is no us, Suguru; that's—“ you say, gesturing in little circles with your hands in front of you, trying to act out whatever word you're looking for. “That's the fucking problem.”

“I don't—“ His voice is breathy as he shakes his head in confusion. “What are you saying, Y/N?”

“You know what I'm saying.”

“No,” he says sternly, "No, I don't. I need to hear you say it.”

You take a deep breath and squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the rain falling against your face rather than the words coming out of your mouth: “I'm in love with you.”

The silence is suffocating, and you're violently aware of how you can feel Suguru’s eyes burning holes into you. You swallow harshly before peeking your eyes open, and he’s just standing there wide-eyed, his jaw slack.

“Suguru?”

“Why now?”

With his voice so small and brittle, you hardly even heard him.

“Huh?”

“Why now?” he repeats, this time louder, harsher.

“I don't—I don't understand?”

Suguru laughs in disbelief. He brings his hands up to cover his face, and he just laughs into them or cries; he's not even quite sure anymore. And after a few moments of this, he finally takes a deep breath, running one hand down his face as the other drops back to his side. “Do you know how long I’ve been in love with you, Y/N?”

“What?” You’re hopeful for a moment, but that all comes quickly crashing down, realization washing over you. “Wait, but you went on a date.”

“Y/N, it's been so long that Gojo got tired of me wallowing in my own self-pity every time you went on a date.” He sighs and takes a moment to collect his thoughts. “So he forced me to go on one too to try and help me move on.”

“Why didn't you wait for me?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Suguru doesn't know whether to nod or shake his head. “No, I know, but I don't understand.”

Your face scrunches up in disdain, silently reading—what's there to not understand? “Why didn't you wait for me to fall in love with you?”

“Y/N, do you even hear what you're saying right now?” he scoffs. “Do you even hear what I'm saying? All I've ever fucking done was wait for you, and I go on one date that I left early for you, and now I'm the bad guy?”

Your heart sinks like a bag of rocks into a deep body of water. “No wait, Suguru, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.”

Suguru looks down, avoiding your stare, carefully tapping a puddle with the tip of his shoe as he mumbles, “Yeah.”

“Do-“ you stop yourself and swallow harshly before continuing, “Are you still in love with me?”

He stays silent, and embarrassment floods your bones. How could he still love you? You, who's been subconsciously dangling a treat in front of him like some kind of animal just to coax him into doing what you want, into staying with you, following you around, just because you were too out of touch to realize you even liked him in the first place. Of course, he wouldn't still love you.

“Of course I am. Don't be silly,” he reluctantly admits.

Relief washes over you, and the breath you take feels like the first one you've taken since Tuesday, when he told you about his date in the first place. “So... now what?”

The same relief does not wash over Suguru; in fact, he's feeling anything but relief. Too many things to name, to pin point; it's just all too much. This is just too much. “I need space; I can't—" he shakes his head, his voice barely above a whisper, "I can't do this right now.”

“What?”

“I just. I can't. I'm sorry.”

Your voice cracks, “But-“

“I just need to think about this,” he says, waving his hands around in small circles, referencing the two of you.

“Oh.” You take a step back and nod. “Okay. I'll go then... I love you, Suguru.”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Yeah, I love you too.”

Suguru watches you walk away, and he can't tell his tears apart from the rain; can’t tell if his heart is stopping or if it's racing; can't tell if he's breathing or suffocating; he can't tell anything. His surroundings are drowning out and blurring into vague shapes and figures around him, and Suguru is sure he could just drop dead right then and there.

“Jeez, I didn't take that long that you had to walk out in the rain, dramatic much?”

Suguru, in all honesty, didn’t hear a word that was just said; the only thing that caught his attention was the lack of rain hitting him. He looks up to find an umbrella there instead of the dark cloudy sky that resembled his insides a little too much, then looks to his side to find Gojo there, and he wants to wipe the stupid grin off his face. If he can't be happy, why should Gojo? His head drops in defeat at his own thoughts. God, he’s acting shitty.

“Sorry.”

Gojo looks at him curiously. “You good?”

“No. No, I'm not good.”

"Hey dude, what's wrong?”

Suguru lets out a harsh laugh, and with no rain hitting him anymore, he knows for sure the thing dripping down his face is tears. “I fucked up.“

Gojo scans Suguru’s face frantically, looking for something—anything—that will tell him what's wrong with his best friend.

“Suguru, you have to be a little more specific than that.”

“Y/N loves me back.”

Gojo goes wide-eyed, and he gives a confused smile because how could this warrant his friend’s reaction? “What dude, that's gr-“

Suguru quickly cuts him off: "Great, I know, but I told them to give me space, Gojo.”

Frankly, Gojo isn't even worried anymore; he’s just in complete disbelief, shouting, “What? Why the hell would you do that?! Are you stupid?”

“Maybe!” he shouts back, trembling. “I don't know! They just— They went on about how I should've waited for them, and I was mad because that's all I've ever fucking done. I don't know; I wasn't thinking straight, and I fucked up, and they left. I made them leave. I asked for space when I hated all the space we've had from each other this whole week, and I asked for more?” He repeatedly hits his forehead with his palm, muttering, “I'm an idiot, fuck.“

“Suguru.”

“What?”

Gojo tilts his head at him. “Why are you still here?”

The question stills his movements, his hand falling back to his side, and he stares at Gojo in pure confusion. “What?”

“You obviously know that space isn't what you want, and you just said it in the heat of the moment, so why are you still here?”

Suguru is silent.

“Why aren't you running after them? They want you, dude! And you want them too!”

Suguru thinks if it weren’t for Gojo constantly moving, he'd think time had completely stopped in time with his realization on how he’s a complete moron.

“Suguru.”

Suguru sighs. “I hate when you're right; you know that?”

Gojo perks up knowing that he got through to Suguru; he coos sing-song, “If that were true, you'd hate me all the time.”

Suguru nods, “I do.”

“Oh, shut up." Gojo extends the handle of his umbrella toward Suguru. “Do you want my umbrella?”

“No, it’s fine; I’m already wet,” Suguru says, looking down at his soaked clothes as he wipes any remaining tears away. “What’s a little bit more water?”

“Good luck, Suguru.”

“Thanks Gojo.”

☆☆☆☆

You walk into your dorm slowly, in a daze-like state. Honestly, you don't even remember walking here; you just remember your fight? confession? argument? — your something with Suguru, and then there's a lapse in your memory, and now you're here.

“Y/N, dude, you're getting water everywhere.“

You sniffle and look down at the puddle that's forming underneath you. “Sorry.”

Shoko tentatively stands up from her bed and cranes her neck down to try and look at your face. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

You look up at her with a wobbly smile. “I confessed.”

She looks at you blankly, unsure if she should say something or if you are.

“He asked for space.”

“He likes you, and he asked for space?”

“I didn't tell you that—“

“It's obvious; keep up,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Anyways, so he asked for space?”

You nod blankly. “Uh huh.”

“Why?”

You rub your eyes in hopes that not looking at Shoko will make the embarrassment lessen. “I said some things in the heat of the moment, and... and yeah.”

It doesn’t.

She’s strangely unfazed; in fact, if anything, she’s partially annoyed. “Ok, and you’re just going to listen to him?”

“What else am I supposed to do, Shoko?” you ask incredulously, glaring at her with your hands back at your sides.

“Fight for him? He likes you back, and if you said something in the heat of the moment, odds are that him asking for space was also just in the heat of the moment.”

“You weren't there, Shoko. You didn't see how he was looking at me—at how he said it.”

“Y/N,” she says disappointedly, eyes shut and pinching her nose bridge. “He's literally been so upset at you ignoring him these past few days; do you really think he meant it when he asked for space? Even more space?”

You blink at her, your mind gone blank.

“Look, maybe he did, yeah? But maybe he didn't, and you won't know unless you go fight for him.”

“I don't know Shoko,” you mumble skeptically.

She rolls her eyes as she rebuts, "At the very least, you can apologize for what you said.”

“I already did.”

“Again, this time now that your head is… somewhat clearer... Are you really just gonna let him get away like this?”

“…no,” you answer weakly, which isn’t good enough for you or Shoko, who’s looking at you with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “No,” you say again, this time with true conviction behind your words—word. “I don't want to let him get away like this. I don't want it to end like this.”

She gestures toward the door with a small, proud smile on her face. “Then go.”

You look back at the door before looking back at her and nodding. “Thank you, Shoko.”

“Uh huh,” she says, starting to walk back toward her bed, “and when you come back, you better not make another puddle.”

“No promises.”

☆☆☆☆

In an attempt to save whatever dignity you have left, you decide not to run down the halls like a shitty rom-com cliché; instead, you speed walk. Which, in hindsight, is probably even more embarrassing than just full-sending it by running, but you digress. You barely get halfway down the hall when you see Suguru. Both of you make eye contact at the same time, yet neither of you stop making your way toward each other, but you both slow down, carefully walking toward each other like two predators about to attack.

“You're leaving puddles in the hall,” you say quietly now that the two of you have come to a halt right in front of each other.

Suguru nods and looks you up and down. “So are you.”

You both stand there for a moment, just staring at each other, neither of you saying anything. Allowing your presence to speak for itself, but it's awkward—too awkward—and it feels like your knees are gonna give out on you if you stare at him any longer in silence.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came for you." He shakes his head, ignoring his own answer, like his very words aren't the most important thing to you right now. He came for you. “What are you doing here? I thought you would’ve been in your dorm by now.“

“I was—“ your voice grows quiet, “But I was coming for you too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t have anything to apologize for, Suguru. I shouldn’t have said what I said; that was selfish of me. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want space,” he blurts out, hardly acknowledging your apology, which he didn't need in the first place. What he needs is you, and it will always be you.

“You don’t?”

“God no,” he says vehemently. “Space is the last thing I want. I don’t want space from you. I feel like there’s something missing when I’m away from you. How could I ever want space, Y/N?” His voice cracks a little at the end, and it has your heart racing. “I was just mad, and I shouldn’t have said that.”

You have all of these feelings inside you, and you’ve cried enough today to last the rest of your life, so instead you find yourself laughing, and Suguru looks slightly mortified.

“Why are you laughing?”

You laugh some more before trying to catch your breath, and you take a step forward closer toward him as you speak through deep breaths, “I’m just so fucking relieved. I-fuck-I love you, Suguru.”

Suguru closes the space between you two, pulling you into his embrace, and you tuck your face into his shoulder, his cold, damp clothes doing wonders to soothe your now-burning cheeks.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

“I think we look stupid standing here soaking wet and hugging...”

“Wanna make ourselves look even stupider by standing here soaking wet and kissing?”

You pull away ever so slightly just to look at him, and he’s staring at you with a smirk, and the longer he waits, the more furious the blush on his cheeks gets, and you can't help but stall your answer even more just for that reason.

“…matter of fact, yes, I do.”

Suguru grins widely but wastes no time connecting your lips together. The kiss is better than you could have ever imagined; it's gentle yet passionate all at once, and it's sloppy because neither of you can fully stop smiling long enough to keep the kisses consistent. And It's everything. He's everything, and you're mad that it even took you this long to realize that in the first place, but at least you don't have to worry about that anymore. Now you just have to worry about the fact that you two will probably end up getting sick from your wet clothes, but that's a problem for after you two stop kissing—if you two ever stop kissing.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[johns-prince]

I Don't Know (Oh Johnny Johnny)

After listening to this "forgotten" song by John and Paul on repeat, with excruciating scrutiny of trying my darndest to make out the lyrics.

This song is approximately recorded around 1960, could have even been 1959, and I've read it was apparently recorded when the group was going by the Silver Beatles. Also, apparently recorded at Paul's house? I'm not sure.

Whether you think it's just them fooling about, simple improvising and nothing at all, I think if they were going to take the effort to record it, it had to mean something.

Even if some or half of it is "improv," it still sounds like a conversation between the two.

It's not unlike them to use music to communicate and express personal thoughts and feelings, wants. There's also nobody else there... it's just them.

Just a couple of the clearer lyrics from Paul at the start:

"Hey now Johnny Johnny, oh Johnny Johnny, oh Johnny Johnny, oh Johnny Johnny, Oh God, Johnny boy, how are we gonna tell them?"

"Oh Johnny boy you wore me out"

It also sounds in one line Paul is singing, "Well you got me!"

Then John starts up.

And I know some people claim the start for John here is him saying "Well little boy" but I have to say that doesn't match up with what I've heard.

Doesn't sound anything like boy, but it does sound like John is saying, "Oh little darling, packing my shoes.. " can't make the following bit before, "cuz I'm losin' you"

"I'm going to see my sister soon. She don't want to see me I don't know really what I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do."

Now you've got Paul again:

"Well Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, when I call you Johnny, well Johnny Johnny oh Johnny, when I'm calling you..."

"Well I don't know what I'm going to tell them..." okay, these lyrics are really difficult to decipher. Maybe it's just my brains attempt at conjuring coherent words from the incoherent sounds, but, what follows this sounds ALMOST sounds as if Paul is telling him what he'll tell the fellas, about thoughts regarding John (I've still got thoughts of you/I'll still have thoughts of you/or, I'll still vouch for you)

Then the closest thing to ever getting to hear what Paul McCartney sounds like when pleading:

"Please Johnny, please Johnny"

John's response is:

"Well I'll tell the fellas I'm traveling with you"

And funnily enough, it's John saying, "I don't know what I'm gonna to do when I tell my mother we're gonna leave town." Of course if this is recorded in 1958/1960, Julia is no longer around...

Paul reiterates this though, confirming it, "Yeah we're gonna leave town."

Paul continues with this dogged line, I can catch a couple of "we gotta leave, we just gotta leave, we gotta leave right now."

Then—

"Take the next bus out of town, then we won't let nobody down!"

It's a conversation about getting out, breaking out, starting over just the two of them... With some interesting mentions of family and friends finding out, about something, with them, between them? And disappointing everyone, causes family to turn them away.

The reason couldn't have just been that they were wanting to become famous musicians together, right? I don't think that alone could be it considering Mimi nor Jim, or Julia or John's sisters, ever turned them away or shunned them because of this dream they were already chasing by this time.

The song progresses to where it sounds as if John has reservations about leaving, he's not as confident about the plan as originally thought.

Paul keeps singing the "we gotta leave, get outta town." I caught a "don't hold me down."

John starts repeating "I don't know" which results in Paul repeatedly calling out, "Oh Johnny Johnny Johnny oh Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny..." Again, it's almost like pleading, "How could you not know? We have to go, we have to leave town, you can't tell me “I don't know” now. Don't do this now."

Now, I will say this, the full lyrical interpretations of this song, while I commend others for trying too, hold too many issues for me to agree upon their validity. I don't catch any "I love yous" and the such, but I think what I have caught, and how John and Paul are singing to each other and with each other here, alone, as teenage boys chasing their dream, is enough to convince me still that this song is so intimately about them, their relationship, and what they dreamed of doing together.

Running off, getting out and creating music together. Running away together. The song technically foreshadowing this honeymoon-esque trip of John and Paul doing just that when John turned 21, and with 100 quid took Paul on a trip.

Two teenage boys not knowing what to do, lamenting over something, something getting out to their family that would cause them to be turned away and to cause disappointment. I don't necessarily attribute that to them chasing the dream of becoming famous musicians together, but it could be. It could be many different things. Could just be me overanalyzing...

The end of the song is a lot more scrambled, difficult to make out, but it sounds like both John and Paul are back to both agreeing to the fact they need to get out, leave town, together.

Also imagining the fact they probably looked something close to this while thumping around and singing this song in Paul's house, alone together, gives me feelings.

[circlebuttons]

Ride Cowgirl - ghostxfemreader

Kinktober🙈

-nsfw: reverse cowgirl & slight age gap established relationship

-

"Simon-"

No" He huffs out in disbelief, looking at you with crazy widened eyes and a raised eyebrow. Simon rarely said no to you about anything, but you could've guessed that as soon as you showed him your friend group's wild west halloween costume for this year that it'd be a hard no. Simon's older than you by enough to where halloweekend no longer excites him as much. He sits up on his spot in bed to get a closer look, "You're not single anymore baby, I don't feel comfortable with that at all" he says with finality, sitting with a leftover soured look on his face.

"It's not about being single" you grumble. This is your first halloween as a couple and you were terribly unprepared for the stipulations that come with being a taken woman for the holidays. Maybe it'd be easier if your boyfriend was frat aged and getting blacked out on halloween, but trust Simon Riley's days of getting white boy wasted are long gone, so you knew you'd have to compromise, but that doesn't make it any easier.

"Excuse me?" he calls out, giving you a look that dares you to repeat yourself louder.

"It has nothing to do with being single, it's just a costume." You repeat it with audible attitude and quickly turn back towards the closet to avoid his stern glare.

He watches as you bend over to take off the heels you matched with the costume and you unknowingly prove his point by unintentionally flashing him. He shifts in his seat as thoughts of taking you over his knee and for a good spanking to adjust that bratty attitude floods his brain. "That's not a costume, it's a lingerie set and for scummy guys your age it has everything to do with being in a relationship, maybe if I was gonna be there but i'm not, so no."

You roll your eyes while your back is turned to him, groaning, "Everyone wears stuff like this, hell I've been wearing stuff like this for years"

He watches your expressions in the reflection of one of your many mirrors. "Everyone's not my girlfriend, if you want to dress like that when we do the princess and frog thing I don't care, but find something else to wear with your friends" he says with daunting finality.

When you realize there's little to no room for arguing you turn around facing him to give

a defeated nod with angry eyebrows, your bottom lip slightly pouting. "C'mere" He gestures you towards him, so you snatch your cowgirl hat off and drift his way until youre sitting in his lap, your back against his chest.

He hangs his head into the crook of your neck, planting a few soft kisses trailing up starting from your collarbone as an apology, his lips lingering under your ear. "I'm sorry baby, but I just can't. You understand i'm not tryna be mean? Dont want anyone looking at you the wrong way, getting their own fucked up ideas"

"Mhm" you hum softly, still irritated.

He pinches at the bridge of his nose and takes a heavy breath prepared to give in to you, "Fuck.."

His retreating makes you huff out a soft laugh, "It's fine, I understand, you don't feel comfortable about it, so I won't wear it out" you take one of your hands and use your thumb to smooth out his frown lines, trying to reassure him that you were not too upset.

"I think you look beautiful in it still" he says sweetly leaning into your hand, although as his eyes travel down your face and your body in a significantly less sweet manner.

You follow his eyes and a smirk grows on your face, "Thank you baby" You purr at him as his hand crawls between your legs that you widen, making room for his thick fingers to nudge at the edge of your sad excuse for underwear, pulling the majority of it to the side.

"You're welcome" he mummers. Your eyes trail his face that's solid and focused on softly dragging his fingers up your slit, just barely touching you.

Your hand drops from his face as you turn against him taking in a shuddered breath. He takes the base of your neck in his hand to turn your face back towards him. You look up at him, your eyes widening a bit when you notice how dark his had become. He lightly slaps your cunt, his eyes never once moving from yours, "Should give you a spanking for all that attitude though" He watches your face carefully as you slowly shake your head no, opening your mouth to explain yourself, but cut off by the moan that escapes when he slowly pushes a single finger all the way in, curling it up slightly before fucking it back into you, working you open slightly. "Gonna be a good girl?" he asks and you eagerly nod before he can even get the last word out, you're so needy at this point you'd agree to anything.

"Think about it next time you roll those fucking eyes" He uses the feeling of your body sinking into his to his advantage, picking you up and maneuvering your body so that you fall forward onto the bed, chest pressed against his legs as you arch your ass up to him, wanting his fingers to return back inside of you. you hear him groan as you shamelessly present yourself to him, his hand coming down to softly feel over your curves until he harshly brings his hand down spanking you with a loud slap.

You whimper, pulling away from him slightly, making him hold you firmly by the bunched up material of your lingerie that rests above your hip.

He begins to undo his jeans with his other hand, slipping his already hardened dick out, bringing your hips back to rub your wetness from his tip down his length. He keeps you like that for a bit, slowly dragging your wet pussy against himself until he notices your hole opening and closing over nothing, he can't help himself but to bring your hips up one more time before slipping into you. Your body jerks as you whine for him, "Simon please fuck me"

"Un uh fuck yourself, wanna be a cowgirl so damn bad, ride" he grumbles out his command, grip on you hips loosening as you have to readjust your position, trying hard not to let him slip out. You finally sink yourself all the way down, "Keep going, just like that" he leans back watching as you fuck yourself. his grip relentless on the lace of your lingerie, using it to lazily guide your hips every time your rhythm falters. Your hips stutter as you feel your high approaching, "Si 'm about to cum" you whine dropping your hips to grind against him instead.

"Gettin jealous" he scoffs "Y’know I love to get you there" he hums, tightening his grip on your hips to lift you up and pull you down as he throws his hips up into yours. Simon holds you like that for a while, fucking up into you relentlessly, making you squeal and pull away from him. "Stay right there for me" he coos sweetly to you, encouraging you to stay up until you just can't anymore. He notices that you're getting progressively more fucked out so he lets you shift your position again, bringing your back to his chest, holding you in his lap as you cum harshly around him. It doesn't take him long to follow suit and as soon as he does he lessens his support of you, letting your body fall limply into his, completely exhausted and trying to catch your breath with your eyes closed. “Still wanna go out?” he asks quietly, placing soft kisses behind your ear.

[unclewaynemunson]

Wingman Wayne - Ronance Edition pt4 :D | Read from the beginning | Read on ao3

It hasn't even been five minutes since Robin came home from work, when the phone in the hall starts ringing. And she has some suspicions about who the caller might be.

She squints at the phone like it's personally offending her, considers for a few moments to just let it ring – but she can't. She doesn't want to be a completely cruel person, this is already gonna be awful enough as it is.

'Hi,' says Nancy, sounding slightly breathless, when Robin picks up the phone. 'How was your day?'

 'Um – gr...ay.'

'Gray?' Nancy repeats, confused.

Robin flinches. She had meant to say “great” but decided halfway that that would probably sound weirdly enthusiastic regarding the conversation they were about to have so she changed it to “okay” and – yeah. This is embarrassing.

'Yeah – I mean, the weather. Was. Very bad. Lots of rain and shit.' She cringes at herself, talking awkwardly about the goddamn weather, glad that Nancy isn't able to see how beet-red she has gotten so at least some of her dignity will stay intact.

'Tell me about it,' Nancy says, 'I got soaked at least three times today, it was the worst. But I was thinking...' There's a slight pause before Nancy continues, 'If we're feeling optimistic enough to believe the forecasts, it'll clear up by the weekend, so maybe we could go for a walk or something? There's this tea garden at the other side of the woods, I know a nice scenic route from Lover's Lake, what do you think?'

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. Robin squeezes her eyes shut. Why, oh why, did Nancy have to come up with the most fucking perfect date idea in existence? God, she can almost touch the scene in her head: walking side-by-side with Nancy, the sun filtering through the leaves and shining a golden light onto Nancy’s curls, her cute nose going slightly red from the early spring sunrays, their arms brushing together every other step until Nancy will feel brave enough to grab Robin's hand and lace their fingers together; the flowers blooming in all kinds of pretty colors in the fields surrounding the tea garden, the taste of mint or some herbal melange on her tongue, Nancy's hands wrapped around her mug as she laughs at something insanely funny Robin is telling her...

No. No. Her stupid brain should most definitely not be going there.

She sighs.

'I have to tell you something,' she blurts out, before weakness can overpower her and make her say something stupid like Yes, this is the best idea ever, I’d love to go with you, can I please kiss you already?

'Oh.'

And in that single word, she can already hear the disappointment dripping from Nancy's voice. Damn it, she hates this so fucking much.

'Yeah, it’s not good... So, um, remember that I told you how my best friend is the one who set me up with you? The one whose boyfriend is Mr. Munson's nephew?'

'Oh God,' Nancy says, sounding truly horrified. 'You're actually in a relationship with him and cheating on him?'

'What – no, God, no!' Robin exclaims. 'Why is that the first thing that comes to your mind?!'

'I don't know, you sounded so ominous so I just went straight to worst-case scenario!'

Nancy is perfectly mirroring Robin's own panicked energy and she realizes she has to keep her head cool now if she doesn't want this whole conversation to become even more of a mess.

She takes a deep breath and continues in a somewhat more collected voice, 'Okay, so maybe not worst-worst-case scenario, then. But um... He didn't actually know anything about you when he set us up. So we only found out today that he – Steve – had been trying to set me up with his ex.'

There's a silence. 'Steve Harrington is your best friend?' Nancy then asks.

'Yeah, crazy, right,' Robin confirms. 'I'm really sorry, Nancy. I had so much fun with you last night, seriously. And you're really cool and badass and generally amazing. But I'm not gonna be dating my best friend's ex. I can't do that to Steve. I mean, I basically know everything about what went down between the two of you, and it's not like he harbors any resentment – I actually think he still respects you a lot – but... It still feels wrong, you know?'

There's a sigh, distorted through the phone. 'Yeah, I get that,' Nancy says, in a small voice that's kind of breaking Robin's heart already. 'Honestly, that completely makes sense. And honestly, I wouldn’t want to add to his hurt either. I already did that more than enough, back when - you know.‘ She sighs again. ‘For what it's worth: I had a lot of fun with you, too, yesterday.'

Pt5

Taglist: @munsonsuccubus @messrs-weasley @shrimply-a-menace @booksandsience @sadcanadianwinter @mightbeasleep @theysherobinbuckley

[sugoi-writes]

FUCK. I WROTE PART NINE AND HAD IT ALL READY TO GO AND THEN MY KID GOT HER HANDS ON MY PHONE AND CLOSED THE APP. THANK LUCIFER I HAD THE FIRST HALF SAVED AS A DRAFT BUT STILL. OTL sending this separate because I was paranoid she'd do it again and I would have to write the second part a third time 😭 also realizing I forgot to put my sig at the bottom of Pt.9

..... Annnnd of course, after pressing send I remember that I forgot to rewrite the part where reader chokes Alastor when they cum. just shoot me holy motherfucking shit

At some point I'mma just make these into a full blown PWP fic. It seems like they get longer with each installment 🤣 (I'm sorry btw, I always feel kinda bad whenever I leave long messages in anyone's inbox 😫

AYEEEE WELL YA KNOW WHAT THEY SAY - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!! 😘❤️‍🔥

It's a fitting pet name Hunny Pun! You're the queen of puns and you're so so SO sweet like a Honey Bun! is that icing or Alastor's jizz on you??? ... im so sorry i'll see myself out again 😭 CAN'T FIND AND KISS ME IF I FIND AND KISS YOU FIRST BABES~! ❤️❤️❤️

I can't hold on to my anonymity anymore guys so I'mma be making Pt.10 my reveal post~ it's killing me that I can't leave rabid fangirl messages on your works like you all do here for me! I really did wanna wait until I got the Smutmus Holy Trinity complete or at least in the revision stages but just- GAH! I NEED YALL TO KNOW HOW AMAZING I THINK YOU ARE. Beautiful beautiful minds, inside and out i can't even-!

Seriously though, I can't even begin to express how grateful and happy I am to have met any of you! And there are no words in the English dictionary (or any at all really) that I could use to describe what I feel about how accepting and supportive you've been! I could NEVER thank yall enough for helping me to find the joy in writing again. I love all three of you so much and I'm honored to call you friends!! 🥺🥰💋

- ☄️❤️ Smut Santa

False Alarm for the Next Part!! And honestly, thank God, the vibe is still not charged HAH--

Oh no!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I had a similar experience when writing my part 2 to my Nun! Alastor fic. Fun fact: had to re-write it 5 times because I kept forgetting to save it. ;;_;; hhhh my baby fever is so bad I'm crying, but man, KIDS! What a little stinker 🥹❤️

Also, my ask box is usually super empty? Like, you could LICK the floor with how neat and empty it is? I LOVE messages? Even better if they long like Alastor's girthy fucking co--

We--We were- when we??? ALASTOR GETS--??? MY HANDS AROUND HIS???

*Danny.Exe has experienced an Error*

*Rebooting*

OKAY IM BACK--

☄️❤️Anon... babycakes. At this rate I'm gonna do more than fucking kiss you. I think we're past that now. And if you keep calling me 'Hunny Pun', or similar pet names, I'm just gonna jump your bones--

Hug you!!!! I meant hug you!!!

It's Alastor's jizz. It's canon-- NO DONT LEAVE I NEED TO KNOW HOW I GOT IT ON MY FAAAAAAACE

GUYS CODE TREAT, CODE TREAT, THE ANON VEIL IS DROPPING!!! ITS DROPPING DHDHDJDHDJ-- You will never gain a mutual as fast as you will then I SWEAR

☄️❤️!!! Smut Santaaaaa! 🥹😭❤️ Your mind is a beautiful, smutty, enchanting place!!! Knowing that you've been religiously cranking this out, while also having a kiddo... Seriously, how do you do it??? If anyone deserves the praise rn, 🎵it's you??? It's you, ITS ALWAYS YOU!!🎵 ❤️❤️❤️

Don't push yourself too hard! Please? ❤️ I will treasure these rare, scrumptious little treats for as long as I have brain cells left ❤️ I will call you friend until you tell me to quit or I lose my voice for good. And even then, my lips will keep moving and repeating the same thing until I'm blue in the face. ❤️❤️❤️ you are such a sweet, sweet, soul, and I can feel your vibes, and they are so wholesome! I can't wait to meet the person or sexual fiend behind it all! I feel like I speak for us all, and not just the main 3, but EVERYONE: everyone who has read your posts love you to bits. And they love your work to bits. Best believe when you publish your first work, we'll be there. En masse. And we will be EAGERLY returning the love you surprised us with.

Thank you for all that you do. On this post in particular, you deserve a foot rub, a forehead kiss, and a hug that lifts and spins you off your feet! 💗💗💗

Have a blissful, best of days you can have, dear! You deserve it! 💗

[shadowbrightshine]

Gen alpha? You kids are ok our stuff was just as weird in many ways. I just can't really bear to listen to it. I refuse to ever interact with that toilet. I hate the song, I hate rizz, and I hate gyatt.

I'm not gonna hate on the kids. I'm not going to say gen alpha is doomed or their brains are rotted away or they're stupid. They're children. Half of gen z are still young. We need to stop. They're little kids. They can be held accountable for some things but people keep putting adult thought processes onto kids. (Some people covering some of it don't blame the kids and I appreciate that)

What I am "hating" on is the high schoolers I had to spend years with who used it all the time. My own story is here but past it is other stuff.

Mostly because whenever I hung out with my ex, who has been my ex for over a year, and we are just friends now: there would be a guy laughing and claiming he was "rizzing me up".

I would get angry. So would he, he hates being reminded by others about our break up. He initiated it but I was going to as well. He's a wonderful guy, it just didn't feel right.

Anyways another time I was incredibly hyped up for the horror thing I'd been writing. So happy I was jumping in the lunch room, tapping my feet, cheering, all of it. My friend was blown away by my work and that made me even happier. Cue the table next to us, full of a mix of freshman and senior boys who called.

"You two rizzing each other? Or are you already dating him?"

We both informed the whole table that no. To both accounts. Also they're not a boy and I'm heteroromantic.

I've been accused of "being rizzed" half of every interaction I had with guys where I showed a modicum of excitement.

It's "ooohhh is that your boyfriend?" "Smoochy sounds" "he's got you bad!" But shorted to two words.

I hate that. Also it was always I was the one being, which like. Never mind.

Kids? You kids are shaped by the internet like we were, and with all the platforms combining and pushing you into spaces without an alternative, you're getting concentrated amounts. Kids are online more than ever. It's content farms and algorithm lucky stars. I don't blame the kids for singing things like that, usually not understanding what it means.

I don't blame the little kids for going nuts at makeup stores. They shouldn't be watching beauty or anti aging content in single or early double digits. It's getting harder for parents to moderate what their kids watch, but it is up to them to help. It's up to the parents to teach the kids that their screen is not always telling the truth, and that they're young. That they don't need expensive makeup or moisturizers. It's up to the parents or who is in charge to not cave about 70 dollar makeup when the kid is 12. It's up to parents to disallow the kind of behavior they were seeing. And to stop them from ruining displays.

I don't blame kids for copying what they see online. I missed vine but I watched clean comps growing up (came to the internet a little late) and would copy them constantly. My cousins and I still quote videos we watched as little kids at each other. We also, reenacted Garfield comic strips and referenced those because everyone had Garfield comic 3 book compilations, I had 4, our grandma had a bunch of small books and Sunday editions, ect.

Kids copy. What is a problem is that they're watching things that are not meant to be repeated out loud. And that was a problem for us too. My little sister is gen alpha, though we don't call her or any of us our gens. When she 3 she kept repeating "somebody kill me!" From muffin time asdf movie. We had to stop watching asdf around her so she would find something else. Not everyone has the space to, but we tried to avoid letting her see stuff we knew she'd repeat or copy.

They're kids, young teens at the oldest.

They're going through their cringy and silly and figuring out themselves parts of their lives. But now instead of it being in physical diaries as often, or on now long deleted dead platforms where plenty of our "cringe" or bad stuff we thought or did was lost to time, they're visible. They're being filmed too. If we aren't supposed to be filming strangers (without a good reason) that applies to children.

Especially to kids! Remember when old internet guides told kids not to show their faces online? The internet has changed but now with all the platforms combining and the loss of places for kids only, we should be careful. Kids are gullible! Like yes children are much smarter than we think but there's also a studied threshold age before kids learn to separate media from reality. That's why kids advertising had to be regulated. That's why companies also target kids.

These are small human, living, thinking, emotional children. We mourn the loss of "good media" in terms of old youtube or whatever. The kids can still watch it. Show them those old things. Vine died a few years before I joined the online world and I still watch and quote vines. People quote movies decades older than them. It being old never stopped people before. If it hasn't been lost to the void, try showing them that instead.

Read to them. Maybe kids nowadays really just don't want to read. That's been said for other gens, but hey I read way less than I used to after getting my phone. So use audio books. Find something with their hands they can do and play an audio book. Or read to them if you have time. There's also lots of audio dramas! Not like soap dramas though if you like them I'm happy! Like audio books with sound effects and multiple voice actors. Or fully original ones. (Think things we call podcasts like camp here and there, or night vale, or the Mourgue files. But you know, not horror focused)

And remember that many of the kids just aren't online anyways. Plenty of parents don't let their kids post online, they don't post about them much, they're literally just in places without internet or they're busy. Remember that the online world doesn't reflect reality as well as some think it does.

I've been thinking about this for a while. I'll never hate the kids. I might hate some of the media, but I'll never hate those kids.

[xaytheloser]

*kicks door down* hi i'm finally off anon because i'm gonna ramble and i have a drawing to share!

due to an ask on the ask blog from @onesacrificiallamb, specifically one calling eternal sugar hollyberry's second mom, an au spawned in my brain that refuses to leave and i need to ramble to SOMEONE- and who better than the ceo of doomed polyamory?? :D (/silly)

the short of the au is basically eternal sugar being hollyberry's bio mama, the long of it is;

everything starts a month or two before the virtues completely spiral into the beasts, with shadow milk being the only one to know about the brewing child aside from eternal sugar herself, and eternal makes shadow swear not to tell a soul about what's going on with her right now, and he keeps his word as best as he can, even going to great lengths to keep the others from not knowing, like making excuses for why eternal isn't at a meeting or something

this continues on well into their descents, with another partial reason for eternal to not be doing anything to stop the other beasts, being that she's hiding from them herself, spare for shadow, because she doesn't want them worrying about her (or asking too many questions), that and she's resting as much as she can due to advice given to her by shadow since he's the smart ass

if she's smiting anyone for any particular reasons, the main reason is still disturbing her rest, there are of course extra reasons, one of those being she doesn't want word of her state getting out to anyone period, so any normal cookies that come into her area do not end up leaving because possible liability

and to add on: not even benign would have known, like yeah sure she likely would have been able to tell the signs but never be entirely sure due to eternal effectively hiding her belly with the way she lays in her cloud and refusing to sit up for anything- benign likely would have had her suspicions but no ability to confirm them or anything

when their i'd say like 5-6 month crusade ends due to benign and the witches imprisoning them, shadow genuinely panics, especially over eternal, but he can't explain anything to benign because he made a promise to eternal that he wouldn't tell a soul and we all know that man cannot bring himself to go back on promises to his friends, no matter the severity of the situation

he said he'd stay quiet until she's ready to tell the others and he's sticking to his word

the next couple months shadow is constantly checking in on eternal and making sure she's okay, generally just horribly worried about her because from his knowledge this cannot be good on her, but to his surprise and delight everything goes way better than expected

however, after a lot of screaming and crying from both her and her new baby, eternal sugar is just sat on her knees, holding her little bundle on her arms as she tries to breath through broken sobs, that everyone is hearing because she's not focusing on just speaking to shadow

so all of the beasts are hearing eternal's shaky sobs as she quietly repeats "She's breathing..." over and over, everyone spare for shadow is confused and they all likely demand answers from shadow who makes it very clear he's not saying a word until eternal tells them herself

^ doodle i made of this scene last night because this au was (and still is) refusing to leave my mind

for a good month after lil holly pops out eternal is dead quiet, absolute radio static from her even on shadow's end, the first time she's present after a good bit is a few minutes after a meeting between the others has started, she shows up late, and she looks genuinely so tired, like she hasn't been sleeping at all, and of course the others are concerned

until she unwraps her wings from around herself to reveal the little one cozied up in her arms sleeping peacefully, she makes a joke that it took forever to get her to settle down enough to actually come to the meeting with her, but everyone is just staring in shock like "OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT SHADOW WAS KEEPING SECRET??????"

meanwhile shadow is just like "Oh!! She's even cuter than I expected!!"

burning ends up screaming at shadow and chasing him around, whilst mystic and silent fawn over little holly, that meeting was completely derailed from the original intent of it, which was trying to plan their escape, in favor of one of the few moments of happiness they'd have together, one everyone is sad benign couldn't be a part of

at some point shadow hides behind eternal, and burning is chasing him around her, and it just makes her burst out into laughter, which causes both of them to stop and just stare at her because ough swan wife laugh pretty, everyone ends up laughing with her and hugging her, as little holly is starting to wake up and joins the hug because poor baby does not know what's going on but she understands these people are hugging her mama and therefore mama needs hugs from her too

the rest goes about as the beasts raising a chaotic ass child as you would expect, with eternal getting shadow to help get hollyberry out into the real world and on her way to crispia around the time she's like 12, because they can't teach her everything, she has to learn some stuff on her own, shadow ends up making a deal with elder for this, makes it very clear to elder that he does not need to know about where the kiddo came from and he just needs to get her over to crispia with some responsible adults to take care of her where they can't

adkwhagraiugra alright i think i'm done with my rambling i am so sorry if any part of this thing makes you uncomfortable at all i tried to be like somewhat vague describing stuff so it wasn't awkward or anything- kajhsdwuahirh okayenjoyreadingimgoingtodissolveovermamaternal

MAMA ETERNAL SUGAR??? OH YES PLEASE!!

but frfr!! this is such a silly idea! also imagine the potential angst when Hollyberry has to stop her evil momma!! MMM MMMM TASTY AU!!!

[nightsidewrestling]

D.U.D.E: Moments - Part 2 - Eddie's P.O.V at the café (Set in 2020)

Tags: @piratewithvigor@tantamount-treason@thedollmaker16@janetreader

This takes place when Eddie meets Kirby at the café in part 1

Also, Kirby is still Orange. Italics are inner thoughts.

Eddie's P.O.V:

"I… Mox said I should apologise for pissing you off earlier." Eddie mutters, it's a lie but he has the confidence to act like it isn't.

"Apology is not required. I'm busy." Kirby grumbles, her eyes fixed on her laptop.

"Then…" He tries to think up a good reason to stay in the café, "lemme buy you lunch to say sorry and to avoid me gaining an enemy."

"Sure, you can sit with me too, just don't annoy me further, Mister?"

Oh, she doesn't know my name, "Eddie. Kingston. You don't have to bother with any formalities or fancy words."

"Alright then, Eddie, no gimmicks as we're in public, right?"

No gimmicks, so you actually want to know me, Eddie Moore, and not Eddie Kingston? Alright then, "I'm Eddie Moore. Friends call me Eddie, Ma calls me Edward and enemies call me Asshole." He gives her a soft smile when she looks at him.

He takes the opportunity to further take in her looks, beautiful, out of my fuckin' league. Sandy blonde hair which ends in an amber ponytail, which she keeps tied low. Thin eyebrows that have definitely been filled in with a brow pencil, but not overdone, and dark blue eyes, blue eyes like pools I could drown myself in. A few small scars on her otherwise perfect nose, perfect for a wrestler, no signs of previous breaks. Her lips look kissable, I could see myself makin' out wit' her for hours. Her pale skin marked with the scars from many years in the ring. I hope she knows how fuckin' pretty she is. He clears his throat and speaks before his brain can make him back out of the situation.

"So, what's ya name? I heard ya friend call ya 'Kirby'."

"I'm Kirby Rhydderch, or to the audience, Kirby Lucifarian."

Oh Jeez, that's a very hard surname to say, how do you pronounce that, "Rid…" fuck, don't think out loud, idiot, make small talk, keep her attention, "where ya from?"

"Llanfaethlu, Anglesey… Wales."

That's why her surname's impossible to say, she's Welsh. Are all Welsh women this pretty? Focus, Eddie, "Oh, you're that Welsh girl that Mox was talking about, the female Andre." Shit, don't tell her that, thanks Jon, gonna get me in trouble with a hot chick, again.

"He calls me that?" From her tone of voice alone, he can tell that the comparison annoys her.

"Better female Andre than female Doink, right?" I'm sorry, don't hate me, hate Jon, he came up with the female Andre thing.

Kirby chuckles softly, shaking her head and looking at him, "Can I get you a coffee or something?"

Oh you can get me somethin' hot stuff, ya number. Focus Eddie! "Nah, I'm buying, whatever you want."

He listens to her order, repeating it in his head as he gets up to buy it for her. after buying her stuff, he tries his hardest not to stare at her, but she's all he can think about.

She's tall, no duh Eddie she's a giant. She's quiet but fuckin' strong, she's a wrestler of course she looks strong. Does she smoke, probably not but Ma would like that about her. Ma would like a lot about her, we can't introduce her to our Motha we don't know if she's even single and I ain't makin' her go anywhere near dad not a pretty girl like that. She's gotta have a boyfriend, or girlfriend it's 2020 she could be gay, God please tell me she likes me.

He grabs the drinks and heads back to the table, trying to maintain his confident front., "No luck on the food, sorry."

"Well, beggars can't be choosers or so they say." She shrugs.

Her mind's drifted somewhere, she's managed to shrink herself down more, I hope I ain't makin' her afraid of me. Wow, she's got a nice sticker collection all over the back of her computer, "That's a lot of stickers."

“I collect them, I travel a lot because as you know wrestling takes you to a lot of places and I need this for work and private stuff so it comes with me and thus it’s gained… personality, for lack of a better explanation.”

"Gotcha," he nods, "it's got a life of it's own, so you add stickers to make it look like it." He smiles softly as he sits across from her.

[what-gs-watching]

This week on...

Ok gang. Here we go, I'm gonna start this thing in earnest.

I’m G. I'm a grown ass woman. With a house, and a dog and a husband, and a (difficult) job.

But I fucking love content. TV shows, movies, a good spotify playlist. Maybe my emotions are broken, but for the past few years, content has been the best way to feel something other than the everyday minutiae. And maybe we can thank COVID for a lot of that.

Because yo, once we went on lockdown, I just started binging. Basically, everything. While my husband was off doing his own thing (tiktok, amiright) I was watching literally EVERYTHING. And I wanted to talk about it.

So I started doing a thing. I'd rush into whatever room my husband was in and start talking at him about what I was streaming at the time. Spewing out these ridiculously terrible synopses of episodes with intricate plots, trying to boil it down so he could follow whatever it was I was ranting about because I had to express why the show was gnawing at me or making me feel shit. And most of the time he'd stare at me blankly and then chuckle.

Eventually I decided to start my rant by announcing "THIS WEEK, ON WHAT G'S WATCHING - " and bless his soul, he'd mostly tolerate my diatribes. (Around this time I was watching Fringe, and he'd know I was coming because he'd hear me scream "PREVIOUSLY ON FRINGE" about 45 minutes prior.)

At some point, I started doing it at my sister as well - this poor woman has two small babies all up in her house and I'd just be texting her about WTF was going on with my show, always announcing "this week, on what g's watching..." and every time she'd simply send back "unsubscribe."

So clearly, I hadn't found my audience. But honestly y'all, I think it's funny. And it's a way to get all of this, whatever this is, out. So I've decided maybe the best course of action is to just scream it into this dark and endless void. Maybe internet strangers will appreciate it. And maybe not. Either way, my sister will appreciate being removed from the mailing list.

All that to say: this week on what g's watching - Good Omens.

On repeat.

Am I literally in the middle of my third rewatch of the entire thing in only like, 2 weeks time? Yes. Should I be ashamed of that? Probably.

But fuck it. Season two punched me in the face and the butt and the heart and I went down a fucking rabbit hole. It may or may not be how I ended up on Tumblr (I guess I thought I was a grown ass woman). It may or may not be eating me alive.

Liking completely inappropriate memes? Check. Stumbled into some fanfiction? That's neither here nor there. Reading long-winded posts about whether it was Aziraphale's fault or Crowley's fault, wherein everyone has their own tinfoil-hat theory? Oh yeah. I'm in deep, folks.

I'm not gonna lie, it usually doesn't get this bad. I watched the entirety of Supernatural (all the while yelling "why are they so obsessed with each other? I don't understand why I'm still watching this!" through FIFTEEN goddamn seasons) and even still, I didn't get pulled in like this. And that fandom is so crazy.

At the time I finished Supernatural, I thought it'd be my comfort show, and I restarted it. But, just kidding.

Good Omens has taken over literally everything.

So to the actual point. A ridiculous synopsis of season 2 because I can't get it out of my goddamn brain:

A sweet looking, chubby tow-headed (kind of former? retired?) angel that owns a bookshop wherein no books are ever sold, Aziraphale, and his gorgeous, hip-swiveling (retired? disgraced?) demon companion (friend? best friend? partner?) Crowley stalk around their London neighborhood hiding a dick-faced archangel who can't remember why he is such a dick-face, from both heaven and hell, while meddling in the love lives of other shop owners and talking PAST each other about what the eff is ACTUALLY going on, and ALSO flashing back to 6,000 years worth of their own ridiculously adorable and infuriating interactions.

It's a fucking love story, kids. In the worst and most beautiful ways possible. And I just. can't.

And so. I guess, here we are? This may or may not turn into anything. But for now. Shouting into the void…

[the-firebird69]

This guy MA Benedetto thinks he's real smart and it's Trump and he's in the past trying to wrap on everybody to take everything from everybody and he goes around doing it and keeps on going and keep telling him to stop . And he would not stop and our son says no big trick it's no big deal everybody tries to do it at some point and figures out that it's really hell and you end up gone or something so they stop they try and do it every once in awhile they don't make it a full time occupation more or less is what he has said because it's a failed technique and you end up gone. Since his clan does it but they actually have brains and the system but they end up losing but they're forced to do it and you're not he looks over and says what you makes you think so it says you get bigger and bigger you start using your system and you get smaller and smaller but a lot of people are obtuse to it put on the blinders and just go until they're gone i've seen it before I'm seeing it again before it begins and he looks over and says you're beginning it and I said why would I why would I not do that you're an offender you're attacking me occasionally you have my money you try and mess with my girl and I've never seen anyone survive it mostly I don't have to lift a finger but in this case I'm going to and you won't make it through the night ever so it says that to him because it's a stupid thing to do and it's a dumb technique and mostly kids try it then adults try it occasionally and figure out that it's actually very stupid but this guy will not stop doing it and it's to take stuff it ends up being a clearinghouse for the max and he doesn't understand it and our son says you don't put any information on them now you don't tell people what they're up to they're beneath you all the time as you say but physically you don't know what you're doing you don't know where they are you don't have futell or information on them and you start harping on some word because you're a **** **** so you got really mad and he says I don't know what they're doing and I say I'm riding so he tries to figure it out and he goes over it and he says Jesus Christ then they're running the whole thing it says yeah and tons of words and things came out he said most of it's real all you have to do is verify and I can't in my position you keep bothering this **** out of me that there are things I can do you might have to be an adult are you gonna be checking out and he gets real mad and says you know I'm tired I said **** **** by the way **** **** now I start hitting you I can't **** stand you I don't want you to know anything so we started going after him and said who cares if you know about the max and he kept saying and saying it and we kept hitting him now he's gonna go down forever and this time devoted to repeating the same thing over and over about one idiot and his flaw are going to end this person was used up. And we're going to use them up until he's toast and we're going to use them on the rest of you idiots who sit there thinking you're winning something because our son gets mad you had the most petty unbelievably shallow moronic people we've ever seen. And Brad is raking way up there with that stupid crap so all you feel bad and you feel this and feel that who cares do I have all those stashes and cashes in possession not yet but that doesn't have much to do with it so he's looking around then he starts doing this attack **** this is I don't have to take that stuff I can recycle it all but I can't **** stain you people I can't stand you I wanna look at your fat **** idiot face or your idiot friend's face i'd rather step you into a small bottle he goes that honest to God it's a wonderful oddity isn't it and he says wow people have been doing that to you guys for a long time so all these people are bothering every **** one of them comes here to kill you is he won't shut your **** pretty little mouth they come here to cut your head off and to stick it up their ****

Thor Freya

Olympus.

[elizmanderson]

...not to return to this post YET AGAIN but I just got back from seeing the movie yet again so I'm going to make it all your problems lmao ANYWAY

just adding an addendum to my original post that actually!! hang on another cut bc again spoilers

anyway I had misremembered which is shocking since I have ADHD and can't remember a damn thing bc Noa actually balances the leadership duties between Soona and Anaya right from the moment he takes charge to make sure his clan gets to safety! bc right at that first moment when they get inside and he's made sure his mother is safe, and he tells them to climb, he says, "Follow Soona! Follow Anaya!" and I had FORGOTTEN THAT, I just remembered him telling Anaya, "Lead them!" when Anaya tries to stay behind with him

so actually right from the moment Noa starts delegating leadership duties, Anaya and Soona share them equally bc it doesn't matter that Anaya was scared during an important moment or even that his fear temporarily prevented him from helping AND MY GOD IT MATTERS SO MUCH TO ME THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER 😭

additionally, I think it was very intentional on the part of the writers to say "it's okay to be scared" in this film, considering the opening sequence with the Sunset trio. like it references being scared several times, and they're razzing each other about it (in a way that feels very realistic to close friends lmao, I think they're written so wonderfully in the ways they interact with each other, but that's a post for another day)

like when they find Noa's stolen blanket, Anaya first razzes Noa like "Noa scared :) not Anaya :) :)" but then actually like grabs the blanket and FLEES lmao and they all run away together. and then on their ride back to the village, Soona's like "Noa, were you scared?" and Noa's like "Not as scared as Anaya :)" and then IN the village the children ask if they were scared, and Soona says "Anaya wailed like a newborn :)"

side note I AM SO APPRECIATIVE that they went with "newborn" bc I have been fully conditioned by media to expect that line to have been "like a girl" and I love that it was not

ANYWAY

so like all throughout the opening with the Sunset trio, there's repeated references to being scared and repeated JOKES about being scared in a situation where it didn't really matter...

but when legitimately terrifying shit has happened to them—their village has burned down, some members of their clan have been killed right in front of them, the surviving members have been abducted—and when there's real danger involved, THEN we get an admission of fear, instead of "I'M not scared, YOU'RE scared :)" like back at the beginning, and!! it's fine!! my god!! I love that!!

and I love that despite the fact that the whole trio razzes each other about being scared during normal circumstances, they trust and love each other enough to still be able to admit to each other when they're legitimately scared and if you need me I'll be over here weeping about it bc 🥹

istg one of these days I'm gonna drop a link for y'all and it's gonna be a whole-ass essay about the treatment of fear in this movie bc it's tickling my English major brain

I love many things about Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes but my absolute favorite thing is that Anaya gets to be scared

(cut bc spoilers)

like not only IS Anaya scared, not only does Anaya NOT want to help them initially because he's so scared, not only does he stay behind until he's had a chance to wrestle with his fear and decide to join them anyway,

but like first of all, Noa and Soona aren't angry with him, they don't argue with him, they don't try to change his mind, and when he shows up they're not like passive-aggressive about it or anything

like they just let their friend be scared!! they get it!! what they're doing is scary!!

BUT ALSO on this viewing I saw it for the second time today I noticed that when the Eagle Clan is escaping the flooding

like, obviously a lot of Noa's emphasis is on them following Soona BUT I NOTICED

that when Anaya tries to stay behind with Noa, Noa tells him to climb and explicitly says to him, "lead them!"

so like not only does Anaya get to be scared, not only does he get to sit with that until he's ready to join his friends, not only are they glad to see him without ever being like "oh so you finally decided to join us, huh," BUT ALSO he's not disqualified from leadership for being scared!! Noa is a good leader but he's also good at delegating leadership, and I love love love that he explicitly delegates leadership at this moment to Anaya as well as Soona, despite Anaya's initial fear and unwillingness to help with the whole thing

in conclusion I love Anaya and I love all three of them, they are the definition of "apes together strong"

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #184

Are either of your parents engaged but not married yet? No; my mom hasn't really dated anyone since my parents split, but my dad remarried; it was apparently his current wife's idea though because she's very religious and didn't want to live together but not be married.

Do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)? Yes.

What college did you want to attend as a kid? NC State.

Do you have a pet gecko? No, but I do WANT a fat-tailed gecko one day.

Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all, I love reptiles.

Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? lol of course, who hasn't at some point.

Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been? Blue Ridge Mountains. I've ridden through the Appalachians when going to Tennessee to visit my brother as a kid, but we didn't actually stop to spend time there. I have very faint memories of it being fucking stunning, though.

Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? Girt.

About what things are you most selfish? Alone time. I know I become really unpleasant if I seriously need but can't get it in that moment.

Are you camera shy? Why/why not? Yes, because I think I basically always look ugly.

What is one small thing your significant other does that makes you happy? If you are single, what is one small thing a friend does to make you happy? He's really good at catching how my anxiety might interpret something he says or does, and when he does, he'll immediately clarify so my brain doesn't wander to bad places. He does this even on occasions where I didn't over-evaluate, and I appreciate it A LOT.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two.

Who was the last person to give you flowers? Girt.

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Internet, easy.

Do you like BBQ sauce? No, I actually hate it.

Did the last person you kissed ever give you a hickey? It's not something he generally does and I don't think he means to either, but yes.

How many subscribers do you have on your YouTube channel? 74, apparently. I haven't uploaded anything in years.

If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pink, hypothetically. I know that's generally a custom thing though, and I would not pay extra just for the color to be pink. Out of "normal" colors, I'd definitely pick burnt orange.

What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home" has slapped since 2004 and it's never gonna stop.

What was the last thing you were mad at a doctor about? My fucking wonderful psychiatrist was going to have me stop a medication cold-turkey (one I'd been on for a long time, btw); it was my mother, NOT the professional, who was like "wait shouldn't we wean her off of this?", and this fucking idiot was like "oh yeah let's do that." The place I'm currently going to for psychiatry is fucking insufferable and has a horrific reputation on a large scale, like there is ZEEEEEEERO excuse for A PSYCHIATRIST to plan on abruptly stopping a psych med, never mind one that's deeply settled in my system. That shit can be catastrophic, this is common fucking knowledge for people who are medicated for mental illnesses.

Is your mother a lesbian? No, she's straight.

Do any of your close friends NOT have a Facebook account? Yeah.

Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No, definitely not for me.

When was the last time you swam in a pool? Like a week and a half ago; my mom and I went to our friends' Summer and Lolita's house to hang out, it was a great time. I got burned a bit though.

What was the last thing you said out loud? I thanked Mom for dinner.

Have you ever wanted to be a nurse? No.

Who or what do you worship? Nothing. Nature would be the closest, but "worship" isn't the right word for my relationship with it. I don't see actual divinity in it, I just immensely respect it.

What was the last song you listened to on repeat? uhhhh actually good question

What song do you want played at your wedding? Do you mean like, the first dance song? Because I definitely want many songs to be played throughout the whole event, I'm totally making a playlist lmao. I'm not certain, but a part of me wants "If It's Love" by Train, it's one of my favorite love songs ever and is so fun and celebratory. I'd want my spouse to have a say too, though; the wedding isn't just mine.

What are three of the most painful things you have ever stepped on? I don't know, really.

If applicable, what song are you listening to right now? None, I'm watching a Super Best Friends Play video.

If you could choose three US states to visit, which three states would you pick? Alaska, Arizona, and Wyoming.

Have you ever donated blood? Twice now, and I absolutely wanna do it more often following this last time; it was very fulfilling, and getting an email so quickly after about where specifically my donation was used (West Virginia) was truly profound, like I know I did something that mattered immensely to somebody.

Would you rather attend a yoga class or a Zumba class? Yoga; I used to do it daily and I truly loved it. I got in the best shape of my life with it.

Have you written anything down today? Yeah I keep track of when I have a soda in my calendar/planner with an "x" on the day I have one, and I did today.

Do you own a pair of pink pants? I have a pair of pink with white polka dots pajama pants, but not a kind I'd wear in public.

Do you normally eat healthy? Saying "healthy" feels like a lie, but I definitely don't make a habit of eating very unhealthy either, and I've gotten better with it over time; I'm more conscious of what I'm putting in. I do have bad streaks too though, especially with being an emotional eater dealing with depression and such. My mental health is truly what kills my ability to properly diet, because when I'm sad or dealing with anhedonia, I want to eat something.

What is the best compliment you’ve ever received? It hits me really deep when Girt has told me I make him a better person. I make plenty of mistakes, and sometimes I can't see past them myself, so it means so fucking much to me to hear I even inspire goodness in others.

Do you believe in miracles? No; a "miracle" is just science we don't understand yet. Things don't happen for no reason, that's not how the world works.

What are three ways in which you are not normal? I'm mentally ill, neurodivergent, and uhhh... idk, my weight? It qualifies as obese and that's not the textbook figure of a human, I guess. I feel weird answering with that though because I don't want to make it sound as if being obese makes someone not "normal."

Which genre of music do you listen to the most? I think industrial metal.

Last person you kissed, are they into any type of sports? Which ones? No.

Does your best friend have a job? He does; he's been there like ten years though and he's very done with his current position, so he's anxiously waiting to hear back about a different position in the company. Poor thing's been worrying himself to death about it.

Do you ever visit people at work? Not really; on one occasion Mom and I did bring Girt lunch, and I definitely WANT to keep doing that for pretty much ever, but it's not a regular occurence obviously. Non-employees can't even go in the building, he had to take a looong walk to the parking lot, lol.

When you move out your house (or if you already have moved out) do you plan on still visiting your parents' house? Absolutely. I thoroughly intend to invite my mom over for dinner once a week, but I'd also be totally fine with visiting her for it sometimes, too. It tears my mom the fuck apart how Ashley and Nicole make her feel so uninvolved, unseen, and unloved, and I fucking will not do the same.

Do you usually take home leftovers if you eat out in a restaurant? I generally will if there's a good amount left, otherwise I don't see the point in scraps, really.

Have you ever ghost rode the whip (put your car on auto and dance next to it as it’s moving)? Do you want to? I remember when this first started and I think it's probably the fucking dumbest Internet trend I have EVER seen.

Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? If you're excluding Girt since he's the current person I like, then it's because she was honestly a terrible "friend" to me that made me feel like the biggest annoyance/inconvenience to engage with. Then, y'know, the Nazi thing. Supposedly she left that ideology behind but frankly I don't believe her for half a second, it's not like she hasn't made a long-going habit of lying online.

What do you think of long-term relationships? That's always my goal, getting into a relationship. I don't do flings and stuff like that; if I'm in a relationship with you, you can be confident that I want this with you, if things go right.

Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Do you update them all regularly? I guess I do? It kinda depends on what you classify as truly social media, too. I try to keep things pretty up-to-date.

When you’re in trouble, do your parents ever “middle name” you? lol Mom has.

When was the last time you got a new tattoo or piercing? Do you have any plans to get either in the future? I got my most recent tattoo finished in... May, I think? It's been a very long time since I got a piercing, but I want more of both of those. I think my next tat will be one that covers my "ohana" one on my collarbone; I'm thinking a snake coming from behind my back and over that upper right part of my chest. I'm just so not a person who's meant to have this tattoo; I'll leave anyone behind if they turn to shit, I don't care what we once had, and besides, I got it as a thing with someone I can't stand anymore anyway. Do yourself a favor and NEVER get a tattoo whose worth is tied to another person, I've done a bad job at that.

Are you patriotic at all? Why/why not? No, because the USA is a country that is shit and smells like shit but the shit itself doesn't realize it's shit.

Are you any good at packing a suitcase? NOOOOOO, packing actually REALLY stresses me out because I'm convinced I won't put everything in "right."

Have you ever had a white hot chocolate? What did you think? I never have, no. I don't prefer white chocolate, it's too sweet to me.

Do you ever get eczema? Yeah, on my hands and arms, generally.

Have you ever mowed a lawn? No, this honestly sounds like hell.

Is there anyone you would do literally anything for? No, and I think this is a very unhealthy mentality to have. I wouldn't murder someone just 'cuz my mom asked me to.

Have you ever done a “knock-and-run” prank? I'm guessing you're referencing ding dong ditch, in which case, no. It's stupid.

Have you ever stabbed a friend in the back, intentionally or not? I mean, I guess not keeping an old friend's Nazism a secret when she was very serious about me doing so is technically stabbing her in the back. It's not something I regret doing though, because I don't protect the feelings of Nazis.

What’s the longest you’ve ever slept in one go? I'm not sure. It was either an occasion when I spent the night with Jason but didn't fall asleep until like 6 AM and woke up like 12 hours later (I remember this because I had an extreme panic attack over my daily rhythm being completely thrown off, like I woke up at sunset), or maybe a time when I had my concussion, or maybe a migraine incident. Maybe the time I finally passed out asleep after a three-day manic streak, but I can't quite remember when I intially woke up, around dawn-ish.

Have you ever dated someone with an accent different than yours? No.

Have you ever worked two jobs at once? No, I've never been able to maintain even one job...

Who does most of the housework around your house? My mom, admittedly. I've definitely gotten better about it though as my legs have improved.

Do you enjoy the smell and taste of cinnamon? Absolutely.

[lettersfromcats]

july favorites list

hi kate <3

july is not entirely over yet but i think it's never too early for a favorites list and what a better way to introduce myself than through my recent favorite things? (if anything else comes up i will just add it). i was thinking of coming up with little categories but that didn't work that well so i will just list them. here they are:

sims 4 family gameplay/legacy gameplay

i have been playing a lot of sims 4 lately and what i have been specifically enjoying is playing a generations and family gameplay or legacy gameplay. it's been fun seeing how far a family come when you started in willow creek in a starter home and now generation 3 lives in a mansion in del sol valley. it's also fun to see the worlds populate with your extended family and friends. it makes the game feel a lot more real.

speak now taylor's version

i am not special nor original, if there's a new taylor swift release i ought to be obsessed with it! especially the vault songs got me on this one. i can see you has been on repeat with the occassional interruption for electric touch or when emma falls in love.

barbie movie

everytime i hear someone say barbenheimer i get brain damage but that does not mean i was not incredibly excited for both of these movies, especially barbie though. i found out greta gerwig was to direct a live action barbie in 2021 and have been waiting excitedly ever since then. the fact that it's finally here now is so exciting. it was exactly what i hoped for. futhermore the barbie soundtrack! it's so good and it's also everywhere at the moment. i must admit that a lot of the songs are forgetable but the stand outs certainly stand out. songs like dua lipa's dance the night away or charli xcx's speed drive have not left my brain since i first heard them.

pretty little liars

i have been rewatching pretty little liars with my boyfriend as he has never seen it before. pretty little liars is one of my favorite teen dramas ever since 2013 when i discovered they had turned the books into a show. since then it has been in constant rotation for me. there hasn't really been a point where i was not rewatching it. however i haven't watched it this consistently for a while, so i am enjoying that very much. we saw the dollhouse episodes just recently and that is just peak tv.

lilsimsie

this really goes back to my first point. the reason i have been enjoying the sims so much again is because i have been watching lilsimsie's streams and videos again. especially her generations let's plays has been enjoyable for me. i can't wait to finish it and watch the university sequel.

sims 4 mini goats

i won't elaborate.

shelf app

this was gonna be more of a "things i am looking forward to" section, but while i started working on this post the app got released! shelf app is like a digital shelf that can store all your stuff! it seems really fun so i can only recommend it. so far it's only released for ios but i am sure it will be out for android soon.