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moonraccoon-exe · 6 years ago

Note

"Darling," Ignis is the first to come to your side, resting his hand gently upon your shoulder. "I wish for you to take a breath, and stop for just a moment. What happened, with your asks, was a technological flaw. This was nothing that you did intentionally, I ask that you stop beating yourself up so hard. This, was not your fault." he gently wraps an arm about your shoulders, and draws you closer to him. "Darling, it's alright, I promise you, you have let no one down."

*HYPERVENTILATES*

SWEET GLORIOUS ANON

HAVE MERCY ON ME

I AM TORN BETWEEN

AND

AND HONESTLY I THINK I’M HAVING BOTH REACTIONS AT TE SAME TIME HOW DARE YOU THROW ME OFF MY FEET THIS WAY IN THE MOST SHRIEEEEEEEEEK REACTION THROWING AT ME THE MSOT WONDERFUL ASKJF KGLDJAKJ AND FEELS AND HNGFHNGFHG HOW DARE YOU THROW YOUR STRONGEST WEAPON AT MY WEAKEST POINT WHILE I WAS IN THAT DILEMMA it was brilliant I MEAN HOLYFUCKINGSHIT I’M DYING AND YOU THROW THIS AT ME HOW DARE it’s rethorical it was perfect kajsdadfk AND I’M SITTING HERE LIEK AKLSJD LAKGJDALKGJAD AND I SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

*BURSTS INTO THOUSANDS OF SNOWFLAKES*

YOU. LET ME ADD A KEEP READING HERE AYE ALKSJD LFKGJAD GK

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

*COMBUSTING*

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*HYSTERICALLY UNINTELLIGIBLY SCREECHING WHILE ON FIRE AND ROCKET-SPEED BOUNCING ALL ACROSS THE ROOM*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ALKDFDGSLJFHKFAKLJKLSJFKSJH SKFAH SAJKALH FLKS LAKJH SLJHAKLJFAKLSG JADKGLA DJGLKDAJ GDALKGJAKGDAJGLAKJGADKL GJADKG JADLKGA LJGKLDAJ GLKADJGADLKJGGJALKGADJG DAKGLADJGKADLJG ALKDJGADLKGJDALKG JDALKGJA DLKGDJALGKDAJGALDKGJDALKGJD ALKGJDALGKJADLKJGALKDGJ ADLKG JAKLGJ AKDLGJADLGJ DALGJSH

*FLIPS THE DESK**THROWS EVERYTHING OUT THE WINDOW**TRASHES THE WHOLE HOUSE**FLIPS THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD**FLIPS THE PLANET**FLIPS THE ENTIRE GALAXY**ROARS SO LOUDLY THE WHOLE SOLAR SYSTEM RUMBLES*

ASTRALS ABOVE THAT IS IT. THAT’S THAT. I’M FRIED. I’M DED AND GONE. I’M THROWN HERE, SPLATTERED ON THE GROUND, LIKE A PUDDLE. A MOLTEN PUDDLE OF FEELS AND EMOTIONS. CANNOT REBOOT. BYE.

*has to go take a breath to properly reply*

Ah….

Ah, gods, gods almighty have mercy on me….

I’m lying here, totally numb, and still molten and ded on the ground. My feels were like…shaken, and taken and tossed around with no mercy or control, and now I’m sitting here in awe and like. This is like, reading all this made me soul detach from my body momentarily and then it transcended to the celestial realm because GODS DAMN THIS ASK IS GLORY AND HEAVEN IN ALL ITS SPLENDOR, and coming back is like. How do I adapt to the mortal life now. how i do dat.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hnghnnhngfn gh annnnnnnooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnn hgnhdh jhjhnjnnnnhfgnhng

*is shORT CIRCUITING AGIAN ASKDLJSADG HKLAJHALK OMG NO GIMME A SEC*

HNHNHFHNGFNHFGNHFHN

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Ah….ah, dear anon, I don’t know how to reply…I’m here like that one last drawing I answered with. Thrown and marveled and ded omg I can’t…reply. I don’t have the words I don’t have the vocabulary, ther’es no way on the planet I can thank you enough or express to you hwo happy this made me and how touching it is and how klasjdklgja omg this is just such- this has- alksdjfdglkdjaglkaj this brought so many emotions like I’m touched and curled up to cry because it’s so sweet and heartwarming but it’s also sOE XCITING AND SO CUTE AND HNGNHGDN MY HEART- IS TOO W E AK I CAN’T CONTROL THIS CAN’T HANDLE MY EMOTIONS LAKSJD FKLGJADKLF JAKLFJ ADKGJ DSOOS DO DKNGJD HAAAAAAAAALPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

aahhhhhhhhhhh goddaMIT, ANON, HOW!?!?!? HOW DO I SAY THANKS ENOUGH I AM SO MAD AND SO FRUSTRATED I’VE BEEN THINKING FOR SO LONG, IT’S TAKING ME SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS ASK BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START OR WHAT TO SAY AND EVEN IF I KNEW I ALREAYD KNOW IT’S NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH AND THAT MAKES ME EVEN MORE FRUSTRATED LIKE FUCK I CAN’T DO ASKJDDKLJDKLAJK THIS THERE’S TOO MANY EMOTIONS AND I DON’T HAVE ALKSJD FKLGDJ ADKLGJD ASHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

*EXPLODES AGAIN*

Ah gods fuck me, I’ll just. Goddammit. Shit. asdSFAGDkjdl gjdalk jgalkgjad lgk

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, anon!!!!!!!! You have my heart!!!!! You have my attention!!!!! You have my love, what else do you want!?!?!? WHAT ELSE CAN I GIVE YOU TO THANK YOU ENOUGH AND EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS, WHAT IS IT, WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?

*LOUDLY SOBS*

Aw man, aw. I just…aaawww…. :’(

Hnhgngnhg….thank you….thank you so, so, so much, dear anon…. OTL

Thank you so much, and for so many things. Thank you for taking the time to read that post, and thank you for caring. I really was feeling absolutely terrible, and I still feel a little bad, to be honest. You didn’t need to do anything to help, but you did. You took the time to write an ask to me, and in a way that you know always cheers me up and does wonders to my feels hahaha :’) Thank you so much for that, too. Thank you for doing this, thank you immensely. It’s really touching and so kind, and so amazingly sweet of you to have done it…taking the time to write to me in a moment of stress and feeling upset, and writing it in a creative way that you know I adore.

Thank you for having Iggy and Gladdy write to me again. :’) As I said, you didn’t need to, but you did. And that means so, so, so much to me. Thank you for caring and worrying about what was happening, and thank you so much for Iggy’s and Gladdy’s wise words. And for the comfort. The comfort was very much needed and much more appreciated than I can say. Thank you. Immensely…. :’)

Sorry it took me a while to reply, I did as Iggy said and took a breath. I thought I could do as other times I’ve been upset due to something Tumblr-related and go game and distract myself, not be here for a while. And it helped lots! But I do admit I needed of Iggy to say it and remind me to really do that. And for that I’m wholeheartedly and immensely grateful. Taking a breath helped me lots to control the guilt I shouldn’t be feeling, and all this frustration and sadness. Thakn you for the reminder. It was healthy and wonderful. Thank you… :’)

HJMFGNHN JGHMNGF MNMGHFG BUT IGGY CALLING ME DARLING, GODS SWEET LORDS HAVE MERCY ON ME, I DIE, I HYPERVENTILATE AND ASPHYXIATE AND I DROWN AND I DIE, HNGFHMFGNHFG FUCK ME RFJF DGFK, I IMAGINE HIS VOICE SOFT AND QUIET AND SO PRECIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL AND HE’S SAYING DARLING AND I SUFFER HEART ATTACKS ONE AFTER THEO THER AND MY SOUL IS DOING IT AGAIN, IT’S LEAVING ME, OMGF OKDDHF HKDJ NO, STOP ALKSDJ FLKGJ AKDLJ LKGJ LFHK

Aahhhh….Iggy’s damn right, it was…just technology being itself. Can’t trust technology on a hundred percent and I know it, I can’t keep beating myself up about this. Mostly because, as he says, it wasn’t intentional and I really didn’t mean to. I mean, who throws their computer down and makes it crash knowing there’s valuable info in there with no back-up??? I…I really didn’t mean it, I really feel so ashamed for it, and it really really means that it wasn’t on purpose aksjd klajgdaha. I can’t blame myself for not thinking about making a back-up. My computer was fine, how can I blame myself for not doing something that I didn’t know I needed to do…? OTL hnnhng

AND IGGY HUGGING ME BY THE SHOULDERS AND PULLING ME CLOSE TO HIM AKSLDJSF GDKLHA JALKG JALKDG JADLKH JDALHKADJ HALKFJ DLKJ SLKGJ GKLDJ KGSLJ GKLAJ LHKHJ

JAFKDS GAHKS FDJKL AKGHASKLJSHLJKFS GHSKALJF HASKJFH AFSKJHSF

*KEEPS TRASHING THE ENTIRE ROOM*

*HIGH PITCHED UNINTELLIGIBLE PTERODACTYL SCREECHING NOISES*

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ALKSFHG KADLGJDALKG DAJGLKDAJGLDKAJ GALJG HDALKJ

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IGGY PULLING ME CLOSE TO HIM IS LIKE GODS ALMIGHTY IT’S BETTER THAN THE HEAVENS IT’S BETTER THAN COOKIES, IGGY REACHING TO HUG AND PULL CLOSE IS MY ABSOLUTE END IT’S MY DEATH, I’M GONE, EVERYBODY GO HOME THIS WINS EVERYTHING, THIS TOUCHES MY MOST FRAGILE WEAKNESSES

IGGY, STRONG AND CUTE AND SOFT IGGY, WARM AND COMFY, PULLING CLOSE. I CAN’T…EVEN BEGIN DESCRIBING HOW HEARTWARMING, HOW TOUCHING, HOW MUCH OF A SOFT MENTAL IMAGE THAT IS, LIKE, IT’S SO SINCERE??? IT’S SO PURE???????????? IT’S SO…TOUCHING, IT’S SO FULL OF HEART AND SINCERITY AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE EMOTIONS ALONE GODS DAMN ME I’M DONE AJHD DGLDKA DJLKG JALKH KJH LKG JALKDGJ ADLKHAJH

Aaah….the bit with ‘you have let no one down, promise’ really got me… hgnhjfhnfg OTL Because I did sorta feel like that for a moment. I…promised to answer to everyone, and I really mean to do it, I never never never never not ONCE considered not answering something. But without the continuations of all those first parts, I…can’t. As in, there’s literally nothing I can do about it. If it was original fics of mine, fine, I have them in my mind and I just rewrite them. But things that others wrote?? How do I recover that? Especially when they’re not around anymore to ask them…. :’(

I still feel sorta guilty, really. But I think that Iggy’s right in the sense that while I did mess up and can’t answer, it’s really not my fault, and no one is mad at me. No one complained or snapped at me. People have been understanding and very kind about it. I can’t help the guilt of knowing I lost such precious things, but…it’s me attacking myself. Others are not upset at me. They’re not disappointed, not that I know.

It’s so true, and sort of touching. Hnghng…thank you for that. It helped a lot with understanding the difference between me being unable to answer the asks, and peopel being disappointed. Gods…you’re damn right, Iggy…I’m sorry… :’(

hnhfn HDG FJFMGF JF

BUT THEN GLADIO COMES IN

FUCK ALKSDJ FLGK HJDALKHD AJLHK

*INSTANTLY BURSTS INTO FLAMES*

*COLLAPSES AND STARTS HYSTERICALLY FLAILING ALL OVER THE PLACE*

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK*

*CLINGS TO SCREEN AND HUGS THIS ASK FOREVER*

GLADIO MY DEAR MY SWEETEST MY DARLING MY PRECIOUS BIG TEDDY BEAR MADE OF SWEETNESS AND ADORABLENESS AND INNOCENCE, MY PRECIOUS CUTIE PIE OF SINCERITY AND AFFECTION AND LOVE, SWEET PRECIOUS BABY BOY BABY, MOST ADORABLE SQUISHY BEAR, GLADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*FALLS AND KEEPS SQUEAKING*

*LOUDLY CRYING*

GLADIO MY DEAREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLADIO BABY BOY, SWEET ANGEL, GLADIO JOINED MY DEAR SWEET IGGY TOO AND HE’S BEING AN ANGEL ABSOLUTE CUPCAKE OF LOVE, MY SWEET PRECIOUS KNIGHT, LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT HIM BEING SOFT AND GENTLE AS WE ALL KNOW HE IS, I CRY AKSLDJF GLKDJA I CAN’T DO THIS, IGGY BEING SWEET AND SOFT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER BUT I’M ALSO SORTA USED TO IT BUT GLADIO, ALWAYS A HAPPY JOKING MESS, TURNING TO A SOFT SWEET CUPCAKE TALKING LOW AND BEING THE MOST GENTLE AND MOST TENDER OF SWEETIES ASKDLJF ASLKGDJAG I CAN’T

I MEAN

I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN GLADIO’S A DEAR SOFT TENDER CUPCAKE, BUT TO READ HIM THAT WAY IS NOT USUAL AND IT REALLY. LIKE REALLY GETS TO ME, IT SMACKS ME IN THE FACE AND PUNCHES ME WITH A SHOVEL AND I LOVE IT AKSLDJ ALKGJAD SWEET GLADDY DEAR BEING TENDER AND GENTLE IS ANOTHER OF MY WEAKEST MOST FRAGILE SPOTS, HWO DAER YOU ATTACK ME THIS WAY ASKFJLDG ALKWJD FKLGJ AWKL YAWIFDGKLAJ

*curls up and cries for the next 10 hours*

Gladdy dear, Gladdy bby, my sweet angel. IF IGGY AND GLADDY SAY IT THEY’RE RIGHT, IT’S THE TRUTH, AND I SHALL DO AS THEY SAY. THEY KNOW BEST AND I LOVE THEM. AND I CRY. KDJAG KHLAF HJFALKH J

Aaahhhh…I didn’t do it to be malicious or mean, I really didn’t ;A;

Hnhgnhgnh….wh-why does Iggy and Gladdy talking to me feels this immensely, profoudnly comforting? Aaahhhhh OTL

*BURSTS INTO FLAMES AGAIN*

BUT GLADIO GRABBING MY CHIN AND PETTING HIS THUMB ON IT

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF HOW

MICROSCOPIC

OF HOW ABSOLUTELY

T I N Y

I AM

THE SMALLEST RACCOONIE

AND GLADIO’S SO BIG AND HIS HAND’S SO BIG AND HE REACHES AND GRABS MY CHIN AND OMG HIS HUGE HAND BEING GENTLE AND SUPER SOFT AND SUPER GENTLE

GRABBING MY TINY FACE, MY TINY CHIN ASKDLJ AGLKDJ KLAJ GLKAD GJADKL

AFKLJDA GLKJ FLKSJLKJFKLHFLKJLKDSFHSLKHSFDLSH DFJHLDSFK JHSKFDLH DLKHJ ESGHL

I WOULD. INSERT ANOTHER SCREAMING GIF HERE BUT I DON’T WANT YOUR COMPUTER/PHONE TO CRASH FUCK ME GODS DAMAN SJKDFDGKLADJKLGADJ GAS HRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*COMBUSTING**EXPLODES INTO THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF SNOWFLAKES*

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*THROWS SELF DOWNSTAIRS WHILE ON FIRE AND UNINTELLIGIBLY SCREECHING*

*HYSTERICALLY SOBBING*

I CAN’T

THAT’S TOO MUCHFOR ME, IT’S TOO SWEET, IT’ STOO GENTLE AND TOO DEAR, IT’S TOO SOFT AND SO BEAUTIFULLY FANTASTIC AND THE WARMEST AND LOVELIEST THINGE VER, THE MENTAL IMAGE IS HAUNTING ME IN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WAY EVER AND IT’S PROBABLY NEVER GOING TO LEAVE MY HEAD, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’VE TRAUMATIZED THE MOON RACCOON BUT LIKE

IN THE BEST AND FLUFFIEST AND MOST LOVING WAY EVER

OH MY GAWD MY HE

MY HEART

*CLUTCHES CHEST*

SOMEBODY HELPAD SFKGJL HADJKLHJA FKL YMY HEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAART KALSJ DLKASJ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY HEART WASN’T MADE TO STAND THESE LEVELS OF ROMANCE AND LOVE AND SINCERITY AND PURITY AND ABOSLUTE MAX ADORABLENESS AND FLUFFINESS AND SQUISHY SPONGINESS AKSJD AKDLJH ALKHJ

*IS DED*

AH. FUCK. GODDAMN. ALKFGDKLH FKLAG NDAKHFD DGKLJGFHN MY HEART IS SO….F UL L HNHG FKNHFGF

Omg this has gotten so lONG but I just. I have a LOT of feelings and so many aksldjfaksgjad and I’m short circuiting inside, I CAN’T STOP RANTING I’M SORRY AKLSDJF DGKLHF AJKLH AJDKGLJDALKGJ

“Remember we still love you, no matter what happens. Alright?”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THAT IS SO SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

THAT IS SO PRECIOUS AND SO DEAR AND SO ABSOLUTELY SINCERE AND SO PURE, HOW DA-

*SOBS*

HOW

APSLKJFG KLAJDLKG AJLKGAJD HLKDAJ HADLKHAJ

OH NO THAT’S TOO SWEET, THAT’S TOO SINCERE AND TOO BEAUTIFULLY BEAUTIFUL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HANDLE MY FEELINGS!?!?!?! SKDJFAKLGDJA HKDLAJG GODS DAMN ME I CAN’T DO THIS. I CAN’T. LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS ASK AND- IGGY HOLDING ME RIGHT TO HIS SIDE WHILE GLADDY HOLDS MY CHIN AND TELLS ME SO SOFTLY THAT THEY LOVE ME DESPITE HOW MUCH OF A KLUTZ I CAN BE, OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MY HEART IS SO FUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLL AND EXPLODING AND CRYING ALONG ME BECAUSE THIS IS TOO MUCH HOW DO I CONTROL ALL THESE FEELINGS AND THINGS THAT I’M FEELING, ALSKDJ FGKDLHAJKL FUCK MY HEART WASN’T MADE TO STAND THESE QUANTITIES OF LVOE AND ADORATION AND FLUFFINESS, ALL MY EMOTIONS ARE PURING OUT OF THE CRACKS OF MY HEART THAT IS BREAKING BECAUSE IT’S SO FULL TO THE LIMIT AND IT CAN’T STAND ALL THIS SINCERITY AND ALL THIS FLUFFINESS AND ALL THIS AKSDJ FGKLJDA LKJF DKLGJ ADKLGADJGLKADJKLDGJ THAT I’M FEELING HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*LOUDLY CRYING*

IGGY BBY AND GLADDY BBY, I’M YOURS, IMMA BURY IN YOUR JACKETS AND CRY B C IT’S TOO SWEET AND OVERWHELMING AND I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO REACT, PLEASE HUG ME AND SNUGGLE THE RACCOONIE AND LET IT CRY BC IT’S SO HAPPEH AND ITS HEART SO TOUCHED AND SO FULL AND SO AKSDJ LAKDGJ ND WEAK AND TENDER OMG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Aaaaaahhhhhhhh….my…my heart…. (╥﹏╥)

Hnhngnhg…I’m sorry I was so mean to myself. This ask is so soft and so full of love, it makes me feel bad about feeling so bad, I didn’t mean it and I shouldn’t have beat myself up so much about it alkjsdlkgjadlkgjadlga.

Dear gods. Goddammit. Adklsadgjaldkgjda (╥﹏╥)

Imma. Imma curl up now. In my mental image of my babies hugging me because it’s so sweet and so immensely, surprisingly and genuinely comforting. Imma stay here in my happy place, comforted and hugged and Imma nap there because that’s self-care and Imma do all the self care I can DAMMIT AKLSDJ SLAGJ DALKJG

Aaah…how dare Iggy and Gladio have this sort of immense power on me… o(TヘTo)

Hgnhf,gmhnf,fg.

Omg.

Dear anon.

I’m absolutely drained, but like…in a genuinely good way. I feel so comforted and hugged. But Iggy and Gladdy wouldn’t have found my inbox if it wasn’t thanks to your attention, your time, and your care. Thank you so much. I know I already thanked you for all the things you did in this ask, but I really, really mean it. Thank you so much, dear anon. For everything involving this ask and your intentions and alskj dalkjh flaj goddammit I’m a molten puddle, pls snuggle the crying molten puddle o(TヘTo)

Aaahhh, dear anon. Imma throw my magic at you for something TWICE AS HAPPY AND BEAUTIFUL THAN THIS happens to you within this month, you beautiful you. All the joy and comfort you give goes/shall go back to you, ya know, and it’s not just raccoonie magic, it’s also PHYSICS.

Aaahhh. Thank you, sweet hooman. Thank you so much. o(TヘTo)

PLEASE DO HAVE A MOST FANTASTIC DAY OR NIGHT!!! MACCOONIE HUGS FOR YOU!! ;w;

#Anonymous #coonreplies #coonsfavorites

4 notes · View notes

brightlotusmoon · 8 years ago

Text

A little more Spirit And Oxygen

Here’s another sneak peak at my TMNT fic, “Spirit And Oxygen: Across The Universe” which is part of my “Mikey The Lifegiver” fic series. It chronicles Mikey’s adventures in major depression, brain damage, and being the actual heart and soul and light of the team. http://archiveofourown.org/series/599863 This will probably be the final story, which means it might as well be a chapter fic, which means that this is officially Chapter One. Yes. I feel good about this. Stuff that is my heacanon here: 1) Shinigami is in a polyamorous relationship with Karai and Michelangelo, and the ladies have their own bedroom in the lair. 2) Raph has taken a shine to Shini and her attitudes on life and is so proud his little brother has such an awesome loveperson who is also banging his awesome sister. 3) April has finally decided to try dating both Donnie and Casey, although she’s spent more time with Don, and Casey doesn’t mind. 4) Splinter and Shredder are dead. Shredder killed Splinter and then the boys teamed up with Karai to kill Shredder, and Leo decapitated Shredder after Karai punched Shredder in the heart after Mikey knocked out Shredder with a kick to the face. Shredder’s henchmen have teamed up with Purple Dragons and other gangs, and have recreated robot Foot ninjas. Splinter appears as a spirit to the Hamato family. 5) The Mighty Mutanimals are very involved in the turtles’ lives. Mondo has learned first aid from Dr Rockwell and engineering from Don. 6) Leo and Karai have been duel sensei-ing and still argue over who gets to be Actual Sensei. 7) Abandoned military bases are turned into hide-outs for the more vicious, feral, and angry mutants in every borough. Mikey, Mondo, and Shini like to try and find them to befriend the tamer, friendlier ones. Karai and Raph wind up getting angry out of love and fear. 8) Mikey is Donnie’s assistant in the lab and is a field medic who uses his emotional empathic reach to comfort the injured; he can be telepathic when he tries hard, but it gives him migraines. 9) Mikey has developed epilepsy following a brain injury, but it also boosts his spiritual powers. He and Raph share an empathic connection. ...I really got attached to Deanna Troi and Jean Grey when I was a teenager, okay? Also, I am happy to discuss where the rest of the story might go and how and why. I’ll often switch to several perspectives in one chapter, like April (Storm) or Karai (Iron) or Ghost Of Splinter (Wind) or Shinigami (Magic). Mostly I’m just in love with writing Donnie talking about Mikey. (PS, Mikey is Oxygen, duh. Don is Earth, Raph is Fire, Leo is Water. The Tumblr post for Mikey The Lifegiver is the second most popular blog post I’ve written so far. The first one is me waxing pagan about winter gods) Also, for my regular readers: You knew this sort of thing was gonna happen again. It’s all I write. Apparently, though, since 1999, I’ve had the most wonderful contemporaries and competition. You hardcore Mikey fans, you’re the best, I love you all.

Donnie’s dreaming hard again, and he cherishes it. Usually is dreams are soft and quick, minnows in a stream, full of chrome and rust and the scent of oil, and there are tiny things in his hands, beeping and whirring, and there are giant things in front of him, clicking and rumbling; and the scars all over his hands reminds him that these are his, he made them, and they make sounds at him as though they are praising him.

Almost a year ago, shortly after Splinter died and Shredder died and Karai moved in, things began happening that challenged every science imaginable, but Donnie learned to be completely fine with it. Aside from Leo and Karai in a constant subtle battle over who would be sensei, Raph mellowed out and Mikey stopped pranking. Donnie was the only one who recognized Mikey as the catalyst: after enduring a series of traumas that they wouldn’t wish on their enemies, Mikey had become quieter, softer. His odd hyperfocusing moments turned on books without pictures and science documentaries and Donnie spent three weeks spying on him; it was no surprise when Mikey caught him each time, because Mikey had changed the most. Donnie and April ran every single test, and Mikey endured them with a strange fidgeting patience, but Rockwell in the end explained that Mikey’s Dimension X brain had finally caught up with him. He was almost like April. Don stopped being surprised when a beaker full of An Unusual Chemical dropped from his hands and floated back up to the table, despite it only being him and Mikey. Mikey, who folded his arms and grinned cheekily, and that was the day Donnie went to the closet and handed him a lab coat with his name on it.

Between their rotating autistic traits and interests, Donnie with engineering and physical science and Mikey with social sciences and cultural studies, they managed to create Things that made the lair easier to live in. With Mikey around, it was easier to navigate the entire city and study humans’ patterns, so certain stores, warehouses, junkyards, and clinics would stay their “borrowing” targets. With Donnie around, they had vehicles and cloaking devices to move further and deeper in.

So Donnie dreams heavily, about jumping from roof to roof in Staten Island, looking for that one military facility that up until now always had staff. Mikey is right behind him, ready with both kusarigama and grappling hook. Donnie stops and signals, and Mikey presses right against his carapace, wrapping one arm around his waist, extending the other to aim the grappling gun. Don signals again, and Mikey pushes off and practically flies – scratch that, he literally glides – and Donnie feels perfectly utterly safe as he casually throws an arm around his little brother’s shoulders. Mikey wouldn’t let them drop; they’d only hover. That’s how good he’s gotten. The grappling hook keeps catching on roof edges and Mikey lets it hover and glide to the next and the next, and they keep going.

They’re on the roof of the facility, over a mile from where they started, and Donnie pries open the secret door and they move in, and their flashlights roam. They remove their backpacks when he finds the correct room, and collect the items he’s already listed on his T-Phone. It’s silent, it’s swift, and the only thing that warns him is Mikey’s hiss and his voice in Donnie’s head: Donnie, get DOWN—

And Donnie flattens himself on the floor and the creature grazes him with a long metal toe as it leaps over him, and his right shoulder and bicep both rip open wide and his body spills blood rapidly. But it’s not the pain that makes him scream. It’s the strangled screeching gasp, full of pure agony and horror, that Mikey makes from somewhere behind him. No living creature should be making a sound like that unless it’s about to die...

There is precious seconds of heavy silence, and he hears Mikey make that familiar, inhuman growl that all the turtles make when enraged, when their human sides shrink and their literal reptilian brains take over with crushing power. The creature howls in pain and shock, and Mikey lets out a roar that contains Donnie’s name scrawled into it, and then there is crashing, there is stabbing, punching, shrieking, snarling, bones cracking and flesh squelching and liquid spurting and other noises that Donnie will hear in his post-traumatic nightmares. Donnie crawls forward, collapses on his back, turns around and forces himself to stand.

The creature has Mikey pinned to the ground, and shadowed blood is pooling everywhere. And then Mikey kicks and flips the creature over with a furious shriek, and through the darkness Donnie sees his teeth flash in a savage grin, you do not want to see that kind of smile on Mikey’s face, and Donnie sees him coated in shadows, launching again at the creature, smacking his nunchaku again and again…and then the creature stops moving, stops making noise; and Donnie hears his own harsh, pained breathing, and his brother’s harsh, pained breathing, and he manages to call out, “Mikey, are you okay?”

There’s a pause. “I’m always okay, Dee,” comes a breezy reply, but it is thin and strained. “Hey, Dee, what’s hurt on you?”

“My right shoulder and upper arm, but I can patch it up. You?”

A longer pause, much much longer.

“Can I take a raincheck on answering that?”

Donnie feels his gut turn to ice. “Mikey?”

He sees the dark figure of his brother hold up a finger. “Just…gimme…a sec.”

Within that second, Mikey falls to his knees. Donnie feels himself lurch forward. His eyes strain. The shadows on his brother are not shadows. They are too shiny. He’s covered in it.

No. No. Please, no, not again, I can’t handle this again.

It’s not the blood loss making Donnie feel so dizzy. He struggles to move, and watches, in slow motion, as Mikey falls over completely, smacking the floor, and it is a wet smack, and liquid is still pooling around him. And Don starts to hyperventilate, because he’s not sure where the light switch might be in this room and where the first aid kits are, and suddenly the darkness is too dark and the floor opens up and he is being swallowed, and he cannot reach Mikey, and then he falls, and as he falls his T-Phone rings, and something presses its energy button, and it’s blaring in his ears, louder and louder, calling MIkey’s name.

Donatello bolts up screaming, and it is too dark and he can’t see. A door crashes open. A body launches at him, and before he can take another breath, a pair of arms are wrapped around him and a plastron is pressed against his, and his chin is on a broad muscley shoulder, and the scent he breathes in is pure Raphael.

“Raph,” he squeaks out. “Hey--”

“Sshhh, Donnie, easy,” the hoarse voice murmurs. “It was a dream. You’re okay.”

He finds himself awkwardly patting his older brother’s upper carapace, trying to politely pull away. “Raph…Raph, I realize that…can I breathe? Please?”

Raph pulls away, green eyes serpentine in the darkness of his bedroom. The way his head tilts, too.

“I’m fine, Raph. I promise. I know it’s a nightmare.”

Those eyes and that head tilt remain fixed on him.

“Donnie, this is your fourth nightmare. Do you realize that?”

Really?

“Um. No?” He’s been so busy between his lab and the sectioned-off infirmary that Rockwell and Slash and Casey helped build that he sometimes doesn’t remember going to bed.

“Well, it is. And I’ll bet it’s the exact same one. Yours are weird.” Raph sits back, agura style, and Donnie draws his knees up to make room. “They’re like clockwork. Once a week. And, y’know, this is the fourth week since--”

“I know. And you guys dragged me to my own bed when you knew I wouldn’t stay here.”

“You did this time,” Raph points out.

“True. Wait, I did?”

“Congratulations on a full twelve hours of sleep, bro. It’s ten in the morning.”

Donnie feels his eyes grow wide. He throws the covers off and jumps off his bed. “I’m missing work, I--”

Raph’s strong hand slaps against his chest. “Remember what we all agreed on? Until your shoulder and arm is fully functional, you don’t do anything complex without someone helping you. I hope you were planning on asking someone.”

Donnie narrows his eyes. “Do you know how to handle the complex alien chemicals I need to work on? Plus the newer components of the retromutagen?”

“If not me, you have April. Or Rockwell. Or Shini.”

Donnie sighs, looks at his immobilized arm, and sighs again.

“You’re a stubborn bastard, Hamato Donatello.”

“You’re worse.”

“I am a paragon of complacency, little brother.”

And Donnie winces. “Try not to call me that?”

“Oh. Right. I forgot. You’re right. Sorry, Don.”

Donnie sighs and gets dressed.

“Um.” Raph rubs the back of his head. “So, nothing’s changed this morning. That’s…like, good, right? Kinda?”

“Kinda,” Donnie says. “It means that Mikey is continuing to heal. Which is the best we can hope for in this situation.”

As he heads out of his room and toward the lab doors, Raph catches up. “You should eat something first.”

“I need to check his vitals and change his IV bags.”

“Karai did that.”

“Even the GI tube?”

“Yeah, that one too.”

Donnie pauses. “I just need to see…”

“Donnie.” Raph is impossibly firm, and very soft. “Donnie, everything you could do has been done. We’ve watched you and learned from you for a whole month. It’s a routine. And part of the routine is that those of us who aren’t doing the routine help ourselves first. It’s your turn.”

Donnie is very silent as Raph steers him toward the kitchen. Leo is finishing up a plate of eggs, toast, and tea. Shinigami is making two more plates.

“Oh, you got him up! Good morning, Donatello. Did your nightmare complete itself?” The witch’s smile is knowing and polite, and he has gotten used to her specific brand of sass. She is, after all his little brother’s girlfriend and his sister’s girlfriend.

He mumbles “yes” because shrugging his shoulders still hurts. He eats mechanically, even as he is poked at to make conversation. Raph has started giving him daily protein shakes. There is one next to his plate. He drinks it and crushes the bottle, casually proving how fine he is. Sometimes the others forget how strong he is.

He misses having Mikey around to defend him.

“I’ll be in the infirmary,” Shinigami says, and Donnie startles. When he looks at her, he sees dark, deep circles under her eyes. Her fair complexion is blotchy and even paler than usual. And he wants to slap himself. She loves him. She has so much love, she loves Mikey and Karai so much. And Karai, to see her baby brother like this. Abruptly, he stands up, wraps his arms around Shini, and grips her like one of Mikey’s famous octopus hugs.

She simply buries her face in his neck and holds him tight.

* * * *

Donnie is at his computer. As he’s reading and copying notes, he can’t help but hear her from the infirmary corner, and after a while he gives up trying to ignore it. He stretches his neck to catch a glimpse.

Shinigami has been sitting by Mikey’s bedside for fifteen minutes, and she only started speaking a couple of minutes ago. Don sees her hand tighten around Mikey’s as she talks.

“…keeps insisting nothing hurts, of course, but I refuse to believe her. Even when she shifted back and forth to her snake form, I could tell her arm was giving her trouble. Even the snake looked sad!” A small laugh, humorless. “Oh, sweet Mikey, you should see the looks she gives me when I point out her pain. She thinks I don’t see it. I see everything about her.” A pause. “I see everything about you too, you know. I see the subtle shifts in your facial muscles when you slip one of your behavior masks on. You know what I mean. When you fake smile, or your laugh is not real? I see it. You should not ever be sad, my Mikey. I told Karai I would do anything to protect her. Now that promise extends to you. Therefore, you must recover from this. You must hold me again so I can tell you I love you. You must hold me tightly, like an octopus, and laugh into my hair, and spin me around, and talk about your comics and your television shows. Tell me about Hamato Yoshi and how he adored you. Tell me about your brothers and your adoration of each of them, how they are your heroes. You and Donatello are very close. I know you wish to have so much knowledge and skill the way does.”

Donnie bites his lip and blushes a little. He almost feels like a sensei, in a way, the way Mikey looks at him while he works or while he is showing Mikey a project. He pictures the last lesson they’d had. April was there. She and Mikey were side by side, chins in their hands, looking at him lovingly, freckled faces and blue eyes alight, looking like mischievous twins.

He wants Mikey to wake up and look like that again.

He doesn’t know when Mikey will wake up. That hurts him most of all. This coma is different, deep and frightening. Mikey lost a lot of blood, and the mutant hit him in the neck, and Donnie knows how bad that can be. Concussion. Oxygen loss. Brain function compromised. Brain damage. Mikey already has enough. Donnie is worried.

Shini’s voice startles him.

“We miss you, Michelangelo. I miss you. I…need you. You must come back soon. Please.” And Donnie watches as Shinigami leans forward and presses her lips to Mikey’s, and smiles. She squeezes his limp, broken hand again. She stands up and begins to walk toward the door, then changes course, coming toward the lab. Donnie blinks at her.

She smiles at him. “What you working on?”

“Oh, um…” he glances down. “Taking notes on neurobiological function in humans and reptiles. I believe our brains are almost fully human, but we probably have neuronal and hormonal responses similar to diamondback turtles, too.”

“Mikey will sometimes make little noises,” Shini offers. “They’re not human.”

Donnie nods. “Yes. Chirping. Cooing. Growling. A kind of purring growl, like churring. Hissing.”

He shifted through the pages, wrote down some more notes.

“You aren’t going to do that all day, are you?”

Donnie glances up. Shini has leaned her hip against the table and is smirking. “Leo wants everyone in the dojo for training. Is this very important?”

He bites his lip, looks at his screen. “I guess it can wait until later.” He saves the file. Shinigami takes him by the elbow and steers him out of the lab. Interestingly, Raph is waiting there, arms crossed. He smirks and nods. “Good. Good Donnie.” Shinigami giggles, as if the two had planned it.

“How’s Mikey?” Raph asks, automatically.

Shini just shrugs. “The same. Karai wonders if I can use my witchcraft to find him in the astral plane. It is a thought.”

Raph raises an eyeridge. “Damn straight, it’s a thought. He’s been healing pretty well. Maybe it’s time to try reaching out to him instead of waiting for him to wake up.”

Donatello sits up straight and snaps his fingers. “It can be a family effort!” That seems to light a fire in Raphael, and he joyfully reaches out to fistbump Shinigami, who has a wide smirk on her face and a glint in her eye. Donnie feels stronger and happier than he’s felt in weeks.

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brightlotusmoon · 8 years ago

Text

Sneak Peek: A “Mikey The Lifegiver” side story

So, while working on the “Spirit And Oxygen” fic, I got poked in the writerbrain by yet another “Donnie thinks about how much he adores Mikey” story that didn’t quite fit, but maybe it could, so right now it’s going to be a side story, at least until Season 5 rolls around and we get canon confirmation on some things.

Stuff that is my heacanon here: 1) Shinigami is in a polyamorous relationship with Karai and Michelangelo, and the girls have their own bedroom in the lair. 2) Raph has taken a shine to Shini and her attitudes on life and is so proud his little brother has such an awesome loveperson who is also banging his awesome sister. 3) April has finally decided to try dating both Donnie and Casey, although she’s spent more time with Don, and casey doesn’t mind. 4) Both Splinter and Shredder are dead (Karai killed Shredder, take that Leo, although Leo was there too and got some hits in). 5) The Might Mutanimals are very involved in the turtles’ lives. Mondo has learned first aid from Dr Rockwell and engineering from Don. 6) Leo and Karai have been duel sensei-ing and still argue over who gets to be Actual Sensei. 7) Abandoned military bases are turned into hide-outs for the more vicious, feral, and angry mutants in every borough. Mikey, Mondo, and Shini like to try and find them to befriend the tamer, friendlier ones. Karai and Raph wind up getting angry out of love and fear. 8) Mikey is Donnie’s assistant in the lab and is a field medic who uses his emotional reach to comfort the injured. I don’t know if any of it will reflect in real canon. We shall find out in March. I did see the Korean leaks and I’m not saying a damn word. Also, I am happy to discuss where the rest of the story might go and how and why, and I’ll probably switch to another perspective like April (Storm) or Karai (Iron) or Ghost Of Splinter (Wind) or Shinigami (Magic). Mostly I’m just in love with writing Donnie talking about Mikey, and this would be my third Earth And Oxygen fic in the “Mikey The Lifegiver” series. (PS, Mikey is Oxygen, duh. Don is Earth, Raph is Fire, Leo is Water. The Tumblr post for Mikey The Lifegiver is the second most popular blog post I’ve written so far. The first one is me waxing pagan about all those winter holidays from dozens of religions with hundreds many gods) Also, for my regular readers: You knew this sort of thing was gonna happen again. It’s all I write. Apparently, though, since 1999, I’ve had the most wonderful contemporaries and competition. You hardcore Mikey fans, you’re the best, I love you all.

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, And think of you Caught up in circles confusion Is nothing new Flashback warm nights Almost left behind Suitcases of memories, Time after Sometimes you picture me I'm walking too far ahead You're calling to me, I can't hear What you've said You say go slow I fall behind The second hand unwinds If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time After my picture fades and darkness has Turned to gray Watching through windows you're wondering If I'm ok Secrets stolen from deep inside The drum beats out of time If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time You said go slow I fall behind The second hand unwinds If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time

-Cyndi Lauper, “Time After Time”

Earth And Oxygen: Time After Time

There’s a pause. “I’m always okay, Dee,” comes a breezy reply, but it is thin and strained. “Hey, Dee, what’s hurt on you?”

“My right shoulder and upper arm, but I can patch it up. You?”

A longer pause, much much longer.

“Can I take a raincheck on answering that?”

Donnie feels his gut turn to ice. “Mikey?”

He sees the dark figure of his brother hold up a finger. “Just…gimme…a sec.”

Within that second, Mikey falls to his knees. Donnie feels himself lurch forward. His eyes strain. The shadows on his brother are not shadows. They are too shiny. He’s covered in it.

No. No. Please, no, not again, I can’t handle this again.

“Raph,” he squeaks out. “Hey--”

“Sshhh, Donnie, easy,” the hoarse voice murmurs. “It was a dream. You’re okay.”

He finds himself awkwardly patting his older brother’s upper carapace, trying to politely pull away. “Raph…Raph, I realize that…can I breathe? Please?”

Raph pulls away, green eyes serpentine in the darkness of his bedroom. The way his head tilts, too.

“I’m fine, Raph. I promise. I know it’s a nightmare.”

Those eyes and that head tilt remain fixed on him.

“Donnie, this is your fourth nightmare. Do you realize that?”

Really?

“Um. No?” He’s been so busy between his lab and the sectioned-off infirmary that Rockwell and Slash and Casey helped build that he sometimes doesn’t remember going to bed.

“I know. And you guys dragged me to my own bed when you knew I wouldn’t stay here.”

“You did this time,” Raph points out.

“True. Wait, I did?”

“Congratulations on a full twelve hours of sleep, bro. It’s ten in the morning.”

Donnie feels his eyes grow wide. He throws the covers off and jumps off his bed. “I’m missing work, I--”

Donnie narrows his eyes. “Do you know how to handle the complex alien chemicals I need to work on? Plus the newer components of the retromutagen?”

“If not me, you have April. Or Rockwell. Or Shini.”

Donnie sighs, looks at his immobilized arm, and sighs again.

“You’re a stubborn bastard, Hamato Donatello.”

“You’re worse.”

“I am a paragon of complacency, little brother.”

And Donnie winces. “Try not to call me that?”

“Oh. Right. I forgot. You’re right. Sorry, Don.”

Donnie sighs and gets dressed.

“Um.” Raph rubs the back of his head. “So, nothing’s changed this morning. That’s…like, good, right? Kinda?”

“Kinda,” Donnie says. “It means that Mikey is continuing to heal. Which is the best we can hope for in this situation.”

As he heads out of his room and toward the lab doors, Raph catches up. “You should eat something first.”

“I need to check his vitals and change his IV bags.”

“Karai did that.”

“Even the GI tube?”

“Yeah, that one too.”

Donnie pauses. “I just need to see…”

Donnie is very silent as Raph steers him toward the kitchen. Leo is finishing up eggs, toast, and tea. Shinigami is making two more plates.

He misses having Mikey around to defend him.

“I’ll be in the infirmary,” Shinigami says, and Donnie startles. When he looks at her, he sees dark, deep circles under her eyes. Her fair complexion is blotchy and even paler than usual. And he wants to slap himself. She loves him. She has so much love, she loves Mikey and Karai. And Karai, to see her baby brother like this. Abruptly, he stands up, wraps his arms around Shini, and grips her like one of Mikey’s famous octopus hugs.

She simply buries her face in his neck and holds him tight.

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