#just found out the weirdest domino effect ever like WHAT

[alien-girl-21]

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[writingtoforgetreality]

Gold Rush (Sebastian Stan x Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist]

Gold Rush [1] / You’re Not Sorry [2] / This Is Me Trying [3] / [4] (soon)

Summary: Your career was blossoming, especially with your new role in “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier”. Working on set was a dream come true. It was never your intention to fall for one of your coworkers. Not when you knew that he would never look at you that way.

Words: 2,637

Warnings: language, it’s Anthony Mackie’s world & we’re just living in it, angst, feeeeeels, maybe I cried, maybe I didn’t, we’ll never know, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Inspired by: “gold rush” by Taylor Swift

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Gleaming, twinkling

Eyes like sinking ships on waters

So inviting, I almost jump in

You scored big time when you were casted in the upcoming Marvel series “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier”. Working alongside Anthony Mackie & Sebastian Stan had been more than you had ever wished for. The atmosphere on set was harmonious. Everything would have been fine if it were not for your stupid crush on your fellow castmate. Mackie picked up on the fact that you liked Sebastian almost immediately & he teased you about it one too many times. No matter how obvious his teasing, it seemed like Sebastian was completely oblivious to it. Or he acted as if he had no clue. You were not quite sure about that.

The press tour was going strong, which meant that Seb, Mackie & you were teamed up for every interview. Now, that was not something that bothered you too much. After all, you were more than comfortable around them. But when some interviewers did not know where the line was, you got frustrated. Like, okay, we got it. Everyone with eyes knew Seb was hot. But as an interviewer, you should know when to stop. Shamelessly flirting in front of the camera with basically a stranger? Sorry, but you had no explanation for such a behavior. Yes, some interviewers flirted with you, too. But you were great when it came to brushing them off while staying polite. Of course, Mackie’s teasing did not make this any easier for you. Every now & then, he would bring up the chemistry you & Seb shared on screen. And off screen. Like usual, you laughed at him & so did Seb. During interviews, you teased each other a lot, it was a playful manner you all enjoyed. And the audience loved the three of you for it.

Sometimes, when Seb answered a question that had him explain scenes with you or something similar, you hated the butterflies you felt inside. You hated how your cheeks warmed up. You hated that he had such an effect on you. You hated Seb. You hated him for being so perfect. You hated him for being a literal God. You hated him for ruining every other man for you. Because nobody could ever compare to him. And you said that even though you were not even in a relationship. Hell, you were not the only person who looked at him that way. If the interviews were not proof enough, a look at social media did the job, too.

But I don't like a gold rush, gold rush

I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush

I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch

Everybody wants you

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

Walk past, quick brush

I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush

I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush

Everybody wants you

But I don't like a gold rush

“So (Y/N)…” the man sitting opposite of you started. It was not a lot of times that questions were directed at you. Usually, people were more excited to talk to the guys. No offense taken. “The chemistry between Sebastian & you can be felt even after such a short trailer. My question is…are you two, like, a thing?” of course. If you got a question, it was about your love life or about how great you looked in your suit. The others got complex & well thought through questions & you got this shit. Internally rolling your eyes, you stayed professional & answered casually.

“Sebby & I are friends. We work well together. We know each other well enough to communicate with our eyes, body language & so on. Some people mistake that for dating, apparently.” finishing off with a sarcastic chuckle, you had to hide the fact that you wished that there was more between you two.

“I gotta say. Even I think they’re dating sometimes.” Mackie smirked when he spoke up which earned him a light slap from you. Seb only hid his face behind his hand & laughed quietly. It was nothing new. You were used to his teasing by now. Looking over at Seb, you could not help but admire him. Even when he was embarrassed, to you, he was the most beautiful person on this planet. Not a single flaw. Just…perfect. If only you had enough courage to do something about your damn feelings.

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominoes

I see me padding across your wooden floors

With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

“Stop that.” Mackie walked over to where you were sitting. Finally, you had a break after hours of giving interview after interview. Looking up, your face turned into one of pure confusion.

“Stop what?” he exaggeratedly rolled his eyes at your question.

“The daydreaming.” it was a simple statement. But why would he tell you to stop that?

“What? Is it forbidden to daydream now?” chuckling at him, you offered him one of your coffee cups. Your handler brought you two because you had not slept much that night. But Mackie needed one just as much & he gladly accepted it. Still, he could tell that you were trying to change the topic. Not with him, though. Sitting beside you, he sighed loudly.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” he looked straight forward when he asked that question. Your face fell at his words but maybe, maybe, if you played dumb, you could get out of this conversation without any awkwardness.

“Tell who what?” your innocent eyes bore into his side profile & you saw him shaking his head slightly. A low chuckle escaped him.

“Tell Seb you like him or I will.” he stated & your eyes widened in fear.

“You wouldn’t dream of it.” exclaiming frantically, you grew more nervous at the thought.

“I wouldn’t trust that thought.” & after a few seconds of silence, you breathed out loudly.

“Yeah, sure. And I’d risk our friendship for that? Forget it.”

“He likes you, too, you know?” he casually stated. Your face changed, but only for a second. He was wrong. Someone like Seb could never like you back.

“Stop, Mackie. Don’t just run around assuming shit.” you pushed his shoulder playfully but it did not do too much. What a surprise.

“My running around assuming shit isn’t assuming. It’s facts. You guys are awful, by the way. It’s exhausting, watching you two trying to dodge your feelings. Why can’t you just, I don’t know, get everything sorted out & be happy together? If someone deserves that, it’s you.” yes, Mackie could be sarcastic but when push came to shove, he could be serious, too. And that last part, he meant by heart. Was it true? Did Seb like you? More than a friend? Maybe you should just tell him. Life was too short to be filled with what if’s. It was now or never, right?

At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town we wandered 'round had never seen a love as pure as it

And then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea

'Cause it could never be

Wrapping up for today, the three of you decided to grab some take-out & eat it back inside your hotel. After quickly showering & dressing more comfortably, you made your way over to Seb’s room. Mackie was already there, he texted you at least ten times to hurry up because they were starving to death. Dramatic diva. Knocking softly, a smile spread across your face when Seb opened the door. Stepping aside to let you in, you greeted Mackie briefly. He was already eating so why the hell was he rushing you earlier? He could be such a child. Seb handed you your food & motioned for you to take a seat on the bed. Take-out in a hotel bed? It should be illegal. Usually, you were not one for eating in bed but whenever you where staying at a hotel, it became some sort of a routine for you. Same for the guys. For a while, the three of you just talked & ate your food. Conversation always flowed easily with them. You knew all of their secrets & they knew all of yours. Well, except for Seb having no clue about your silly crush on him. When he & Mackie discussed a topic you did not know too much about to actually engage in their conversation, you found yourself stealing glances at Seb. If it were not enough for him to be so gorgeous, of course he had the best personality to match that. God really took his time with him. And the weirdest thing of it all was that Seb never let that thought get the best of him. He was aware of people admiring him but that never changed him.

'Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush

I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush

I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch

Everybody wants you

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

Walk past, quick brush

I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush

I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush

Everybody wants you

But I don't like a gold rush

Mackie got a phone call & said goodbye to you before leaving the room. Which meant that Seb & you were alone. It was nothing special, the two of you spent a lot of time together. This time, though, you wanted to confess to him. Finally, you wanted to tell him how you felt. Could you live with the rejection? Well, if things turned in that direction, you had no choice but to. Seb’s lips moved but no sound came out. You zoned out & simply stared at him. Your thoughts were running wild. The sun had already started setting & the golden light illuminated his features in such a beautiful way. It almost looked like a movie scene. He was the masterpiece others could not keep their eyes from. You were this close to speaking up, taking a deep breath for preparation. This could change your bond with him forever.

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominoes

My mind turns your life into folklore

I can't dare to dream about you anymore

A phone ringing interrupted you. It was not yours. But Seb pulled his phone out of his pocket. The moment he saw the notification, he started smiling so brightly. The smile you had grown to love so much. It brought a grin to your face, too. The things this man could do to you, completely unaware of the effect he had on you.

“What?” you asked when he could not stop staring at his phone. Had Mackie sent him a message?

“Nothing, it’s just…” he stopped before saying too much but you were having none of it.

“Aw, come on, Sebby. You can tell me anything.” encouraging him, your hand found its way on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. Seb seemed almost shy right now. And this was weird because he usually was everything but shy when he talked to you.

“There’s this girl & she’s just…amazing.” your face fell the moment he started talking. No. “I asked her for dinner but when she hadn’t replied after hours, I started losing hope. She just messaged me back.” his smile was sheepish & you hated that you had to admit that he looked happy right now. Genuinely happy. But you were not the reason of his happiness. Another girl was.

“And? What did she say?” deep down, you knew the answer & you actually did not want him to say it out loud. But you were best friends, after all, it was kind of your duty.

“I got myself a date. I’m going on a date with her, (Y/N)!” he beamed & pulled you into a big hug. One, that made the butterflies act out. Fuck, that hurt.

“That’s great, Sebby. I’m happy for you! You deserve it.” your excitement for him was fake but the sincerity behind your last words were not. If one person on this planet deserved endless love & happiness, it was him. Mackie was wrong. Seb had never liked you. Not in that way, at least. And his date saved you from embarrassing yourself & ruining your friendship. That did not change the fact that you felt like crying right now. You could not shed tears in front of him, could not show how much it actually affected you. No. You had to fake a smile. And that shit hurt like a bitch.

At dinner parties I won't call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it

'Cause it fades into the gray of my day-old tea

'Cause it will never be

“Something’s wrong with you.” Mackie stated at breakfast. No shit, Sherlock.

“What makes you think that?” feigning innocence, you rolled your eyes when you saw the look he was giving you.

“Clearly, you’re upset. Did something happen after I left you with Seb yesterday?” he hit the nail on the head with his assumption.

“Yeah.” was all you answered. His eyebrows raised, he waited for you to continue. But when he noticed that you were not planning on engaging in any more conversation with him, he pressed further.

“Did you tell him? Did he mess up?” if Seb messed up, he would kill him. There was no other person who was better for him than you. The two of you deserved each other. And everyone seemed to realize that but you.

“I wanted to tell him.” admitting quietly.

“But?”

“He got a notification.” your short answers made Mackie freak out. He grew frustrated with you when you dragged out this entire conversation.

“(Y/N), come on.” he urged.

“Sebby has a date.”

“With you? But that’s great.” his smile was small but present. Did you finally realize that you were feeling so much more for each other?

“With another girl.” then you looked up at his face, your eyes glossy. Clearly, you were trying to keep it together but he could tell that you had a hard time doing so. Yes, Mackie would kill Seb. He could have sworn that Seb only had eyes for you. The stolen glances, the efforts to make time to spend more with you. What the fuck was going on? When he saw your first tear falling, he wasted no time in pulling you in for a hug. You were broken, all because of one man. But the thing was that he was not just any man. He was Seb. Your best friend. Your everything. But he would never be yours. Not in a million years. Because he only saw you as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

It was not like you did not have options. Hell, you declined so many people over the time. All because of him. And you were afraid that this would not change anytime soon. Because you did not think you would ever get over him. Your heart was ripped into a million pieces & the only person who could help you fix it was getting excited over his upcoming date. Whatever you thought could be between you guys, it was nothing but a dream. Something that could never be.

Gleaming, twinkling

Eyes like sinking ships on waters

So inviting, I almost jump in

Gold Rush [1] / You’re Not Sorry [2] / This Is Me Trying [3] / [4] (soon)

Published (04/22/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @buckysleftarm420 (thanks for your support <3)

[caffeinetheory]

Crime Scene [Timari Week Day 4]

@maribat-2k20

told you I’d have it out today (don’t mind the time ;> )

(rewrote a few ties but it’s okay, it was a struggle but I think this is okay)

Big thank you to @theatreandcomicfreak bouncing ideas off with you really helped

///

Another break in had occurred at the jewelry store down the street from the studio MDC was working in. How Tim had convinced her to get a bigger place for her to work on her designs she wasn’t sure but he had that effect on her. She was already planning on leaving when she heard the alarm go off, no reason to rush now. Mari watched as shadows moved from the rooftops headed toward the blaring sound. The thought of running across the skyline brought back memories of a time best left in the past. 

About twenty minutes had past and Mari was getting quite bored. The Bats were efficient so they were surely done by now right? The red and blue flashing lights coming her way signed they were close enough to being done that she ventured down the street, her custom yo-yo (weapon) was hidden on her hip just in case, can’t be too careful in Gotham after all. 

Curiosity got the best of her as she passed, looks like 2 birds were there, maybe 3 if that shadow was anything to go by. Nightwing was talking to the commissioner, the robbers tied up by his leg. In the shadows, so there was definitely 3, was Robin. The black cape almost his the crimson of his uniform but years of being a hero herself, she was able to catch his eye. His split second flash of confusion of being seen was quickly dismissed when her eyes landed on Red Robin, or should she say Tim. She knew that stance anywhere, it was him alright. 

~~~~~~

Robin watched as Drake’s girlfriend walked passed the scene they had just finished cleaning up. Not unusual if he remembered correctly, her studio was on this street and she had the same tenancy to work late like Drake. What was unusual was how she easily made eye contact with him as he hid in the shadows how had she seen him? Before Robin could process that she could easily find him, he noticed her relaxed stance change when she spotted Drake. Like it was second nature, she made her way silently over to him. She didn’t make a sound as if she did it would ruin everything. Watching her move it was clear she had experience, like they all did, but why did she? 

~~~~~~

That couldn't be him could it? Making her way over to Red Robin Mari subconsciously went into Ladybug mode. It was second nature, moving silently and quickly. She took in everything at the scene, even more so than before, it was hard to shake the habit after so many years. The closer she got the more sure she was. That was absolutely her birdie, a perfect nickname in retrospect, from the way he stood to the messy raven hair. The slight jump when she touched his arm and the alarm that quickly melted into comfort when eye met eye under the domino mask to hide his identity, was the last nail in the coffin, that was her bird under there. 

"Birdie…?" Her voice was hardly above a whisper, only for the person in front of her to hear. The shock was clear as day, and he took her close. They should have known better to try to keep secrets from each other, they always found out.

Nuzzling into her hair she knew he trusted her enough to confirm, no words were needed. A call on the com link broke their moment, a hostage was in a warehouse, they needed help. Red Robin pulled away from her, "I need to go-"

"I'm coming too," Mari didn't let him finish, "no argument… trust me." 

Tim knew how to pick his battles and the determined look in her eyes told him it wasn't going to be a problem. The two rode to the warehouse Oracle had sent him, the lights and armed guards were a clear tip off. 

Tim was about to tell Mari to stay back but she was already scouting the doors. ‘You know what, this isn’t the weirdest thing,’ Tim thought to himself as he got into position. Four guards, one female hostage and plenty of cover. 

In the blink of an eye his wonderful girlfriend - how did she get as mask? - was deflecting bullets with what looked like a yo-yo. With an expertise he’s only seen in videos from what he thought was a tabloid she took everyone down without breaking a sweat. In seconds the hard calculating look she had was gone and a carrying one replaced it as she gently untied the women in the chair, offering reassurance that she would be okay. Hopefully Barbara caught that.

“Everything will be okay, I promise. No one else will hurt you while I’m here,” Mari was rubbing circles into the woman’s back. Luckily there got there before anything bad could happen. Instincts kicked in, but now that the threat was gone she realized Tim was there, staring at her catching flies. Thank Tikki she had her yo-yo and was able to get a mask quickly. This wasn’t ideal though, she wanted to leave this life behind. Looked like that was out the window. 

“Birdie, you’re going to catch flies.” the women had been picked up by the police finally, Tim however still hadn’t moved and it was getting concerning. 

By some miracle he snapped out of it, “I need to get you to the cave,” he didn’t elaborate as he got her on his bike and rode in what Mari believed was the direction of Wayne Manor. 

‘I should have guessed,’ Mari thought as they entered a cave though and entrance that was hidden behind a waterfall. Numerous vehicles lined the walls as they rode in, eventually he parked by a larger room. The stairs led up to a large open space with cases filled with old costumes that made her cringe the tiniest bit, a large training area was on the other side and in the center along a wall was a truly massive computer. Time felt still was she made her way slowly behind her boyfriend who still hadn’t said much. 

There were 5 other people in the room visible but she could reason there were a potential 2 more. A red head in a wheelchair sat at the computer, her typing had slowed when the pair made their way up the steps. The big Bat himself sat in a chair in front of the massive supercomputer, chair turned to watch the newcomers with a calculating eye. Mari had to fight the instinct to get out her yo-yo and get ready for a fight. The same small kid she had seen at the robbery was hiding in the shadows not far from the Bat, this time when they made eye contact he had a look of curiosity more than shock. Not reassuring if she was honest. By what looked like a training area was two older men who looked like they paused sparring. One was absolutely Nightwing, as she saw him earlier and was still in uniform, so by process of elimination the other muscular guy must have been Red Hood, no helmet but a crimson domino mask adored his face and the white streak in his hair reminded her of Jason - but didn’t he hate Batman? There’s no way this was real. 

She stopped mid-step, she was already tense but the feeling of eyes on her back was not welcome. Before she could think about it - there were how many people there after all ?! - she whipped out her yo-yo and stared into the darkness, seemingly at nothing. The movement was not lost on her and her yo-yo sped up, she was tense. Mari almost threw Tim across the cave when he touched her shoulder.

“It’s okay,” with a sigh he called out to what he hoped was Cass, “You can come out now Sis.”

Out of the shadows a 5’5” Asian women in a midnight turtleneck, black jeans and the blackest combat boots one could get came out. With her midnight short hair and domino mask it was astonishing anyone had seen her. She gave the pair a nod and silently made her way over to the others. How in the world Mari knew she was Tim wasn’t sure but it definitely didn’t put his girlfriend at ease. It took some reassurance but he was able to get Mari to be a little less tense, not much but it was a start. The yo-yo was at least by her side and she had caught up with him. Mari still shied away from his family, not that he could blame her. This was a lot to spring on her, but she had figured him out she might as well know about the rest - she’d figure it out anyway she was a genius. If her fighting style was anything to go by and her instincts, well he had an idea she knew the family business well herself. 

“This can’t be happening, Tim please tell me this is a stupid joke and I’m wrong,” Mari whispered to him. The only response he gave her was a tight squeeze to her hand. 

The pair stood in front of everyone, the silence was deafening. The only sound was the typing coming from what Mari assumed was Oracle, soon multiple videos, pictures and interviews were displayed on the screen of one Ladybug. The fight from earlier was also pulled up in the corner by the person typing. 

“You can’t be serious,” she Gave Red Robin a look of exacerbation, “I swear I didn’t want you to find out about this. Preferably ever- but definitely not like this! Tikki is going to kill me, oh god I did so well before and now I just slip up over something stupid! God I never should have stopped on my way home, then I wouldn’t have seen you and guess who you were - THAT WAS SO STUPID OF ME!” she was spiraling. Walking herself in circles as she gestured wildly as she spoke and pulled at her hair, “of course I end up dating a hero! What luck do I have?! And he brings me to what I assume is the famed Bat Cave.” she stopped to look at him, “Why would you do that?! Are they going to kill me? Oh Kawmi-” 

Tim grabbed her shoulders to ground her. “Batman has a no kill rule, don’t you B?” he was able to anchor her and he took off his mask. Blue eyes met blue eyes and she was breathing properly again.

Before Batman could reply, “An annoying one if you ask me,” the amusement in the man’s voice was already enough to get a smile out of Mari. She was no longer panicking but the look the big Bat gave him made her burst out laughing, it was so much like the look Bruce gave Jason after he made a joke about dying - WAIT!

“Jay Jay?” at his sideways grin Mari wanted to hurt him, “Of course… does that mean…?” The nod Tim gave her was all she needed to collapse on the ground, she wasn’t passed out but she was overwhelmed. 

Agent A walked in from what must have been an elevator, looked around and gave a disapproving scoff as he made his way over to Mari and Tim who had taken to sitting on the floor with her. He handed her a large mug filled with her favorite tea, “thanks Alfred,” she mumbled before it clicked. “Oh god it’s all of them isn’t it?”

“You always have a keen eye Miss Marinette,” the amusement in the old butler’s voice made a heavy sign leave her lips.

“Let me guess,” Mari leaned into Tim as she started to point. 

“The smiling one is Dick,” he gave a shit eating grin as he bowed dramatically. 

“Mr. Shooty is Jason as already noted,” Jay gave a halfhearted protest at the nick name.

“The one who gave me a heart attack must be Black Bat,” the woman gave a nod, “I’m really hoping that’s Cass,” a smile told her she was right.

“The brooding Robin must be Damian, it would explain a lot like the sword,” Damian gave a nod of affirmation. 

She looked hesitantly at Batman who was still watching her with intensity, “So by logic that must be Bruce,” she wanted to run. If looks could kill she was sure she would be dead  by his look right then. 

The girl in the wheelchair had turned around at this point, a proud smirk across her lips, “Right as usual Mari,” Mari ran to the open arms of one of her best friends. Of course one of the smartest women she knew ran the tech side of Batman, “Barbara!” 

This was a lot to take in, but then a video began to play on the screen, an early fight of Ladybug. “How’d you find me out?” 

“Between Tim and me, well it wasn’t hard, you have a distinctive fighting style. Yo-yo isn’t exactly common.” 

“You make a fair point,” Mari paused to look back at Tim, “why did you bring me here?”

“You up for joining this life again? I know this is out of nowhere but you did kinda figure it out…” he was trailing off. Why did he think this was a good idea, it was more spontaneous than anything he usually did. 

“Only if you promise you’ll tell me when you need help and no one else makes my suit,” she gave a look to everyone to let them know she would be there for them too. It was unorthodox but when did anything in this family happen in a normal way. 

~~~~~~

Nightingale made her first official appearance with Red Robin at a heist about a week later. They were a reliable duo, solving everything the Riddler sent at them in record time, her yo-yo leaving a nasty bruise on the green clad villains face when they were done. The city knew they had one more hero in the ranks.

[bandficsunlimited]

Floral & Fading (Pierce The Veil Fanfiction)

(This was the first band slash PTV fanfic that I’ve ever made, so please forgive me if it’s terrible and nonsensical and not what you really expected.)

"D-d-d-darker now, kicked out and sleeping in your car, you rolled the window down, enough to dream and make-believe..."

"That's it, stop it! Pierce...whatever, you're outta here! Go on, we're closed! Everybody out! You're wrecking the place!"

The harsh reprimand of the bowling alley owner rang out, exasperated and palpably angry, and Jaime could perfectly and very much tell why.

Standing in the carnage of musical instruments and debris of bowling equipment alike, their band sign hanging off on one corner with half already in shards on the floor, holding splintered parts of what used to be a bass guitar, and staring at a rowdy crowd that had been shoving and pushing at each other the entire time, the owner's rage towards the sheepish band was easily understandable.

Jaime wasn't sure how Pierce the Veil was allotted to perform here in the first place, considering that their post-hardcore music wasn't really the appropriate ambiance to a bowling alley, and they were forced to wear such weird clothes (Mike laughed at his older brother's atrocious green floral shirt that he fished out of his dad's closet for ten minutes straight), and the owner didn't even know what the hell their band name was ("He announced it with the enthusiasm of a vendor selling tacos in a deserted place under the torpor heat of the summer Mexico sun", Jaime observed. "Oh great, now I want tacos", another voice inside his head complained), but all he knew for certain was that this was quite unexpected.

"For a bunch of people living in '69, these guys sure do party hard." Jaime thought, uttering a low whistle as he surveyed the wreckage of the chaotic room.

Not only had he and his bandmates completely trashed the place, they also managed to influence the people to join in with it as well, and what once was a group of peaceful weekend bowling players had turned into youth-crazy moshers that threw articles of intimate clothing, allowed crowdsurfing and mosh pits, nearly ripped the band members apart (two of them tore out their drummer's sleeves, "but," Jaime internally snickered, "with Mike's big guns, who freakin' wouldn't?"), poured juice punch on each other (Jaime could see a girl smiling at them wryly without a care of the sticky beverage that dripped and coloured her hair a vivid blue), pulled the fire alarms and lit up their lighters inside the place, and ultimately ("and most importantly", Jaime noted), they enjoyed and allowed themselves to lose control to their music.

"So all in all, not a bad gig." Jaime concluded with a satisfied grin. He looked over to Vic, Mike, and Tony, all exhausted, sweaty, and holding destroyed instruments alike, but also with the same enthused smiles lighted up on their faces.

Celebratory high fives were passed around the band members, but before Jaime could give one to an expectant Tony, the owner's stern face emerged in front of them, his nostrils flared and his voluminous belly rising up and down steadily, smoke appearing to come out of his ears, startling the band out of their gregarious reverie.

"You damn brats, still happy about wrecking this place. I regret ever knowin' your name. No you boys better get out of here before I get you a damn good whacking to and slam your sorry little asses in jail!" The owner threatened, waving at them the remaining microphone stand that was still actually standing and almost tripping on the wires in the process.

"Sooooo...does this mean we don't get paid?" Vic asked innocently, a cute charming smile emblazoned on his face, doe eyes wide and sparkly, every uttered word in the sentence dripping with sass. Behind him, Jaime chuckled audibly, Tony grinned so wide it seemed the corners of his lips would split open, and Mike covered his mouth with one heavily-tattooed hand to stifle his laughter.

The owner only glared at them poisonously, radiating nothing but sheer hate and venom out of his eyes, and shoved them all out of the way, causing a little domino effect to the band and nearly tripping on the wire yet again, as he muttered various colourful profanities, most likely endowing the worst curses known to man and monsters upon the Mexicans. He shook his meaty fist once more before going past the outbalanced band members, and grabbed a broom to commence cleaning up the mess that they made.

"Great gig. Great time. Great job, guys." Mike praised his fellow band members, as they packed up and salvaged what little they can from their smashed equipment, but not before he added a grim "We still need money to buy new instruments though, and since Vic here killed off any chance of us getting paid, well..."

"Thank you Mike, that reeeeaaally boosted our morale." Tony replied sardonically with a laugh.

Vic, pretending to be hurt, indignantly glared at his younger brother with a sulking pout. "We weren't getting paid anyways, Mikey. It didn't hurt to ask."

"Hey, hey, I'm just kidding bro. Hell, I don't blame you anyways. I've always wanted to wreck the living shit out of my drums! I mean, who doesn't? It's the adrenaline, man, it gets you. This was awesome, you guys. P-T-V!" Mike ranted on happily, as they all cheered out in enthusiastic replies of "Wooooh!"

"Well, I take it that's a wrap?" Vic quipped cheekily. He was answered with an affirming chorus of "Oh yeah", "Guess so", and from Jaime, accompanied with an audibly rumbling stomach, "Anyone else also craving tacos right now?"

Jaime's out-of-place remark and hunger pangs gave Vic an idea for a fun little prank. He acted all excited, suddenly pointed out to a random corner, and shouted "Hey look Jaime, a taco stand giving food away for free!"

"Where?!" As Jaime's head frantically whipped to face where Vic was pointing, Vic glanced furtively at Tony and made silent finger motions, signaling for him to trip up Jaime. Tony understood immediately, and he surreptitiously crouched behind Jaime and positioned himself by his feet, waiting for the right moment.

"Oh, you know, it's just there Hime, if you'd just, like, I don't know, back up a little, maybe you'd see clearer or something, y'know..." Mike improvised, buying for time, and Vic facepalmed behind Jaime's back and mouthed "That didn't make sense bro." to him.

But despite Mike's lame assurances, Jaime still obediently obliged with his instructions and ambled a step backward. His legs caught on the crouching turtle by his legs, and he began to topple backfirst, arms thrashing about wildly as he tried to break his fall.

"Gotcha again, Jaime!" Vic said triumphantly, earning him victorious high fives and rounds of raucous laughter from Mike and Tony.

But due to unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances, Jaime's head accidentally contacted a nearby bowling ball (ironically, it was the yellow one that he tossed at one of Mike's drums earlier and nearly hit Tony), and he heard a sickening crack, as Vic, Tony, and Mike's laughs instantly dissipated and they immediately rushed to his side.

Jaime felt himself losing consciousness quickly, and his vision blurred and faded as he saw his friends' concerned faces looming over him, Vic frantically waving a hand to his face and calling out his name.

"Jaime? Jaime??? Jaaaaiiimmeeeeee..."

~*~

Jaime jolted awake at the sound of singing invading his ears, and his eyes fluttered open and he found himself curled up in a couch, his bass guitar cuddled up next to him, a fan-gifted monkey pillow strewn on his stomach, and an abandoned floral pattern notebook lying facedown by his limply-hanging fingertips.

The rest of the band was simply chilling out; Mike lounging next to him as he clutched a coffee mug in one hand and twirled a drumstick in the other, Vic looking at his ink scribbles with a pensive visage and a badly-chewed pen stuck between his teeth, making little vocal warm-ups with their names (at the moment, he was singing out "Hayyyymeeyyyy skunnkkkk"), and Tony softly strumming notes at random on a battered acoustic guitar.

Jaime remembered his dream and his hand immediately shot up to his hair, as if to feel the phantom of a nightmarish afro that never was, and he sighed a little too loudly in relief as he felt only the soft spikes of his hedgehog hair. He rubbed his bleary eyes as he examined the appearances of his fellow bandmates' hairstyles with mingled scepticism and doubt.

Watching this event unfold, the trio's questioning stares immediately pierced (pun very much intended) through the scrutinising Jaime, but it was Vic who asked the question first.

"You okay there, Jaime?" he said, momentarily ceasing with his playful vocal warm-ups, his inquiry slightly garbled by the writing instrument clamped between his mouth.

"Dude, I just had the weirdest dream..." Jaime started.

Mike snorted into his mug at amusement at Jaime's revelation, spinning the drumstick more furiously and throwing it in the air. "Expect Jaime to be so cliche."

Tony glanced at him with a raised eyebrow and retorted "And expect you to be the one breaking the fourth wall." Mike stuck out his tongue at Tony in reply, and he failed to catch the drumstick, the wooden stick clattering noisily on the floor.

But Jaime seemed not to hear them both as he leered at Mike's short hair, hidden under his black beanie, analysed Tony's expertly messed sticky-uppy hair and Key Street cap lying by his side, and finally settled to concentrating and peering at Vic's long and flowing hair as if it was an art exhibit.

Vic finally noticed Jaime's strange stare and stared back with questioning eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that? Something wrong with my hair? Is my hat not on straight? Or do you just not like my hat? Again?" Vic badgered endlessly, his voice taking on a concerned tone, running his hand throughout his head to check for anything weird.

Jaime said nothing to clear things out as he slowly reached out to feel for Vic's hair. Mike took a sip of his drink absentmindedly and flipped his drumstick as he watched blankly, engrossed by the scene, and Tony had an exasperated expression that sighed out a silent "Oh, Jaime, here we go again."

Jaime grabbed one end of Vic's hair and started tugging at it, as if testing for it's legitimacy.

"Ow! Jaime! What the hell?" Vic exclaimed, slapping Jaime's hand away. By coincidence, Tony hit a sour note on the guitar as he was distracted by the unfolding events, making a sound that added for comedic effect.

"Your hair...it's normal." Jaime lamely replied.

Vic squinted in suspicion as he ran his fingers over his locks to fix his hair. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Jaime closed his eyes and nodded in alleviated affirmation. "Oh it's good dude. It's good. It's just, well, just that dream..."

"Well, what dream? Don't keep us in suspense, Hime-time." Vic prompted eagerly, setting down his abused pen and rumpled notebook on the desk and dragging his chair closer to Jaime. Mike and Tony set down the instruments they were holding and leaned in closer to listen in as well.

Jaime sighed extravagantly once again and began to narrate. "It was like...we were having a concert in a frigging bowling alley...you had short hair and a stupid floral shirt...Mike was wearing this nerdy-ass sweater and vest, I don't know what it was...Tony was crowdsurfing on a bunch of weirdly-dressed people...and I had cotton ball for a hair...it was sick though, we smashed our instruments in the end, and oh, I nearly hit Tony with a bowling ball!"

Tony glared at Jaime in mock disdain. "Something you wanna say to me, Jaime?"

"And me! Did you just call my clothes nerdy?" Mike put in indignantly.

"You tripped me up and made me smash my skull on a bowling ball, Tony, so I'd say we're pretty much even. And also Mike, Vic was wearing a long-sleeved green floral pattern shirt and ironed beige pants and stupid hard shoes and he had short hair that looked like it was shaped out of clay, so there." Jaime explained in a flat tone to both offended parties, not missing a beat.

Tony simply made a 'seems legit' face and nodded. "Touche, Preciado."

Mike, on the other hand, stared at his older brother for a couple seconds, as if picturing Vic in the horrible clothes Jaime described, but his should-be bellowing laugh was reduced to a strained snort as Vic glared back at him venomously with a look that said "Don't you dare Michael."

Jaime carried on with his story gracelessly as he fumbled for the words, unable to describe the dream properly. "Anyways, it was just—I don't know, but it was like...a time travel or something...I don't know man...it was 1969!" He finally declared. Mike couldn't hold in his laughter anymore at the final part, and he began to double over laughing, strained wheeze escaping his throat like a squeaky balloon losing air.

"Aw dude, did you just marathon Back To The Future...again? Look, I know you wanna be the next Mexican Marty McFly, and we support that dream of yours, even if you don't look too good in bodywarmers, but...that's just askin' for it." Vic sympathetically apprehended with a little shake of his head. His maternal and disappointed tone of voice made Tony crack up, and Vic finally dropped his stern parent act and joined in with the mirth.

"But it was! I swear! 1969! A lady! Threw her bra at me!" Jaime punctuated almost pleadingly, his voice drowned out by the chaos of laughter.

His hysterical bandmates only laughed even harder at the bra throwing part, and Vic had to jump out of his seat and whack his younger brother in the back with immense force because he promptly choked on his drink, as the slapstick-looking act made Tony's smile grow impossibly wider.

"Yeah right, like that would ever happen. Keep on dreaming, Jaime." Vic deadpan quipped with a pokerfaced expression. Jaime finally stopped sulking and succumbed to the contagious hilarity and sheer ludicrousness of it all, dimples popping up as his laugh echoed the loudest inside the room.

After everyone had calmed down and managed to catch their breath, the place was filled with silent contentment and lingering traces of entertained expressions on their faces. Mike went to the kitchen to place his mug in the sink (but accidentally brought the drumstick with the mug instead of the spoon, which made for a very interesting story later on at band practice, when he accidentally ripped the skin off his snare drum with the metal utensil), Tony returned to fiddling with his guitar as he quietly played Dammit by Blink-182, and Vic held his pen and paper once again, but before he turned away to continue writing, he said softly to Jaime, this time with an earnest smile.

"Keep on dreaming, Jaime."

"Our lights knocked out, turned upside-down, I'm just a stupid motherfucker, can't figure it out."

[willswalkabout]

New Zealand. I've put off writing this blog for an obscenely long period of time. And it really isn't that I didn't have the opportunity. I think I just know it takes time so it does become daunting, and this only increases as the amount to get in also becomes greater. Technically it's now been a day under 3 weeks since I last posted (at the time of writing). I'm sitting in a hut on the Kepler track so won't be able to post till tomorrow night at the earliest. The plan is to split it into 3 but we'll see how it goes. When I last wrote I was about to land in Auckland and join up with Ellen so I'll pick up from there. I got into Auckland very late and then exiting the airport took ages as my tent had to go through customs. It had been tightly wrapped for storage but was returned to me in one massive pile of material, as they'd had to somehow inspect every inch. Eventually I got an uber to the air BnB Ellen was staying in. She'd had the last two nights on the island of Waiheke, with some contacts called Nick and Beth, who I hope to visit later in the trip. The next day we started a 9 day road trip to Queenstown, during which we would cover a total of 1418 miles. The descriptions of these days may seem pretty lightweight, but there was often a lot of driving. We learnt to embrace this and just enjoy the stunning scenery, but this acceptance was not immediate. Day 1 we picked up the car and trying to do a decent amount of shopping that would hopefully cover us for the majority of the trip. We drove to our campsite on the South side of lake Taupo, via a visit to the Huka falls. The campsite was really nice and though we'd actually had a booking for the day before we successfully convinced the campsite this wasn't the case and managed to keep the night. My all in one stove was used for the first time since early September, to great success as we dined on mushroom risotto. Day 2 we drove to Wellington, one of NZ's 3 biggest cities. We would have been doing the volcanic Tongariro crossing however sadly the weather meant it was closed. Wellington is supposed to be quite young and hip however sadly we didn't get to indulge in this culture due to the long drive. We did however visit New Zealand's national museum which had some very impressive exhibitions on their immigration history, as well as involvement at Gallipoli. We stayed the night at our weirdest air BnB experience. The house belonged to an elderly man who had appeared to have resorted to living and sleeping in his living room so that all his bedrooms could be rented out. However this meant that the wardrobes were full of his clothes, and stuffed toys filled the property. It was a little creepy, and after a long days driving we took advantage that evening of NZ having cheap dominos. Having spoken to people later in the trip it seems Wellington was not done justice and I would like to return. Day 3 involved getting the 9am ferry across the Cook Straight, to Picton on the South Island. It's quite an expensive crossing when you're taking a car, however the 4 hours are beautiful, especially as you meander into Picton harbour, a route which is hard to describe in words so I'd advise looking up Picton on a map. The ferry had a couple of nice restaurants and we got chips, before disembarking to drive along the stunning Queen Charlotte's drive. It is viewpoint after viewpoint as you begin to round the island's north coast, making it sometimes difficult to keep your eyes on the road. We drove to a beautiful Department of Conservation (DOC) campsite which was practically deserted. We also made a trip to the beautiful Cable Bay beach, with white sand deceptively cold water. After stocking up on supplies in Nelson we went back and made some pretty decent pasta that night. Day 4 was a very long drive to Abel Tasman, probably the only real disappointment of the trip. Though it was fun to pick up a German hitchhiker for part of the day, the drive was long and windy, and what met us at the end was a tad underwhelming. This campsite was also empty but felt like it would be packed during the summer. I had read about opportunities to rent kayaks and do other watersport activities, however on consulting the workers of the campsite this is a summer season thing, and nobody comes with the kit when they are not going to be in demand. We did do one beach walk before making some noodles and going to bed before we were eaten alive by the resident sand flies. Day 5 and we had to get to Punakaiki on the north west coast. The five hour drive was daunting at first but turned out to be very manageable, assisted by good ice cream about half way through. We both loved Punakaiki and its famous 'pancake rocks', which look like a stack of American variety. There was a beautiful prehistoric looking beach where it was overlooked by a dense rainforest. We managed to use the shadows created by the sunset to take some awesome photos, and had a very lazy pot noodle for dinner. There was a massive Aussie cub camp group at the campsite, whose antics and irritation of the leaders provided amusement. Day 6 we drove down the Franz Josef Glacier. We stopped on the way to do a short walk in the town of Ross, known for its gold mining past. We also bought some chocolate hot cross buns, something I've found many of in Australia and New Zealand, for the trip. After 3 consecutive nights camping and with 2 more to come we decided to take a night off and stay in a hostel. We chose a good one too, as we ended up getting a 4 bed dorm all to ourselves, and were able to wash our clothes and use their fully kitted out kitchen. The 1 hour walk to the glacier was a whole experience in itself, and added yet another landform to our incredibly varied list from NZ so far. We spent the evening chatting to some Germans, who I'm convinced have now overtaken Kiwis in terms of most populous nationality in the country. Day 7 was one of the best drives of the trip, down to Wanaka, past lakes Wanaka and Hawea. We had actually planned to stay at a campsite between the two lakes which didn't need booking. Though on arrival there were no other campers, it was off the highway, and generally had nothing going for it with zero cooking facilities. We chose to drive on to our site in Wanaka and stay for 2 nights. This was the campsite with the best view by a long way, looking out straight onto the lake. Wanaka is a gorgeous lakeside settlement with mostly high end restaurants along the front, with a couple more affordable. We got fish and chips, and a falafel burger. Day 8 was nice as we didn't have to clear out in the morning, having the pitch for 2 nights. We had three plans for the day and in the end only managed about one and a bit. We first planned to paddle board, as Ellen had so enjoyed doing in Waiheke. However the sun was deceiving and instead we settled for a pie, from some shop that had won way to many awards not to be investigated. We did however go to Puzzle World, probably the oddest attraction I have ever seen. It is one pretty odd dude's dream, and is a mixture of illusion rooms and a massive maze. It's hard to describe exactly what the rooms were but they made you feel like you were on a steep slope when in fact you weren't. Whereas another had over 200 concave faces that all followed you around the room as you moved. The maze was also not messing around and was exhausting. We did the 'easy challenge' which was supposed to take a maximum of 90 minutes. We laughed at this estimation, believing ourselves to be decently intelligent. It took us 107. In the afternoon we attempted to do the Roy's peak track. We had massively underestimated its difficulty and duration, as well as Ellen's hamstring situation which is still feeling the effects of a tear suffered last year. That evening we had a massive bowl of pasta and went to bed pretty early. Day 9 marked the end of the trip, and we drove the hour and 15 to Queenstown. We'd booked a hotel for this night, our last before around the 25th July in nearly 4 months time. After a swim in the hotel's pool, we had a short look around the town and went to a great Thai place for dinner. After the past 9 nights accommodation we did also order room service chips solely for the experience. The next morning we had the hotel's buffet breakfast and I dropped Ellen off at the airport for her 11am flight. She was to go to Auckland, followed by a 12 hour layover in Beijing and then home. A total journey time of well over 40 hours. It will be tough not seeing her for so long but I'm also incredibly grateful she made New Zealand work around university holidays, and we had an amazing 10 or so days. In the next post I'll meet up with Eleanor, a school friend, the same day Ellen was dropped off, and spend a few days in Queenstown before the Milford Track.

[viralhottopics]

6 Hilariously Improbable Events That Resulted In Huge Movies

Hey, remember that Final Destination franchise from all the way back in 2011? You know, it’s the one where a clowder of hapless teens get hunted by Death through a series of overly elaborate, Rube Goldberg-style horrors. Well, it turns out that sometimes this same over-the-top domino effect can be applied to how films get made (including Final Destination, which started as an X-Files spec script). A butterfly flaps its wings in Beijing, and Jeff Goldblum ends up shirtless on a table in Hollywood, basically.

Some films end up creating a gigantic ripple of success and artistic inspiration … all from a single unassuming start. Here are such times when the road to the cinematic immortality was paved with random nobodies, stupid coincidences, and just plain dumb luck…

6

The Alien Franchise Exists Because Of Literal Nightmares

From the creature design to the directing, the first Alien has always been a poster child for the unspeakable horrors you can accomplish through collaborative effort. With that in mind, none of it would have been possible without writers Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett first coming up with the story. They are the face-huggers to Alien‘s uh… alien. This was O’Bannon’s second film as a screenwriter, one that would have never existed without the frustrating failure of his first.

Dark Star was a John Carpenter sci-fi comedy about people exploding planets in space, and O’Bannon hadn’t simply written it, but also designed and supervised the special effects. It was this (not his writing) that got the attention of weirdo director Alejandro Jodorowsky, who at the time was working on an ultimately shelved Dune film. O’Bannon was brought on Dune‘s production where he met a creepy Swiss artist working on the film’s set and character design. His name was H.R. Giger, and you might find his work on Dune a bit familiar.

To put this guy in perspective — upon their initial introduction, H.R. Giger immediately offered O’Bannon opium. And when asked why he himself took it, Giger bleakly responded “I am afraid of my visions.” If Werner Herzog had night terrors, it would be personified in H.R. Giger’s ghastly Scandinavian gaze. His paintings are what Satan uses to get an erection.

Dune was sci-fi failure #2, and after production was closed down O’Bannon found himself running out of work, and consequently money (which is commonly a thing you get in exchange for work). In what was no doubt an act of pre-hooking desperation, he and Shusett dug up yet another old failure — a story about monsters attacking a WWII bomber (which later became a segment in the 1981 animated “film” Heavy Metal — a series of events we’ve previously discussed).

Like some kind of mad scientist, O’Bannon spliced this story with another failed horror script about bug monsters, added a re-written scene from Dark Star, and somehow churned out Alien. Meanwhile, H.R. Giger was developing a terrifying artistic portfolio based on his childhood nightmares — one example being a painting called “Necronom IV.”

That’s one of two nightmares that will come into play, this first fruition appearing in an H.R. Giger art book that O’Bannon gave to Ridley Scott while developing Alien. Nightmare number two came from Shusett who, after a day of writing, woke up in the middle of the night with the idea that the alien could impregnate a crew member through their throat — meaning that nearly every aspect of these creatures was quite literally the stuff of nightmares.

5

You Can Thank The 2003 California Gubernatorial Recall Election For HBO’s Westworld

In the early 2000s, California underwent an energy crisis, presumably after everyone left their tanning bed on overnight. As bills tripled and the anger grew, a representative named Darrell Issa donated two million dollars to a small group collecting signatures for a gubernatorial recall. It was this money that boosted their efforts in a historic moment for the United States: a new Westworld TV show.

We should probably explain.

HBO “Yes, please. I don’t know what the fuck’s going on in this show.” — Anthony Hopkins

See, after successfully reaching enough signatures, it was the actually historic recall of Governor Gray Davis that sparked one of the weirdest elections ever — eventually boiling down to this veiny cup of whatever Austrians drink instead of water:

Playboy And by “ever” we mean “before 2016,” of course.

Arnold Schwarzenegger threw his hat into the governor ring and came out with a whopping 48.6 percent of the vote. This was in October of 2003, and along with shaping the future of California, it panicked a butt-ton of producers who had previously attached the hulky destroyer to upcoming films. One such producer was Jerry Weintraub, who had cast Arnold as the Yul Brynner role in an upcoming remake of that enduring ’70s sci-fi cowboy classic, Westworld. As we’re sure you can guess, this did not end up happening, and the project was shelved indefinitely — or in producer-speak, “until someone big enough shows interest in it.” That took two years.

Variety “We’ll begin shooting in 2008 with Heath Ledger, Bernie Mac, Anna Nicole Smith, and President Gerald Ford.”

In 2005, Weintraub once again set his sights on this ridiculous film — this time with the director of The Cell attached. This, unsurprisingly, did not make Westworld the exciting filmmaking opportunity that studios were scrambling over, and so Jerry moved on to another project while letting his baby degrade on the back burner. That project was a little TV movie about Liberace starring Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, and Matt Damon’s glittery thong.

In the biggest plot twist yet, the HBO-made Douglas/Damon smooch-fest was a hit… causing Weintraub to turn to the network for a Westworld series. The rest is excessively naked history. And hey, Schwarzenegger is finally available now, so maybe they can throw him a bone and cast him as a background extra or something.

4

We Wouldn’t Have The Entire Marvel Cinematic Universe If It Wasn’t For Superman: The Movie

It turns out a DC Comics movie is responsible for Marvel’s current cinematic dominance, but not in the way you’re probably thinking. This long goddamn journey starts with a producer named Lauren Shuler Donner, whose husband you might recognize as Richard Donner — director of such insanely diverse hits as The Goonies, The Omen, and of course, 1978’s Superman: The Movie.

Superman was a hit, but this didn’t instantly result in every single over-pantsed defender getting his own movie — remember, it would take over a decade for even Batman to get one. However, the Donner flick did nab the attention of a five-year-old named Kevin who, like five-year-olds tend to do, became enamored with this genre of mighty punchers. His fandom eventually turned into a job at the Donners’ Company as Lauren’s assistant. As she puts it, “one of the main reasons Kevin managed to get himself an intern position at our company was because of Superman: The Movie, [that freaking nerd].”

Lauren went on to make a few disaster films, like Volcano and the harrowing You’ve Got Mail, before becoming inspired by her husband’s action background and buying the rights to the X-Men franchise in 1994. Feeling his intense ray of nerdiness, she gave her then-assistant Kevin a producing role on the first X-film, where he instantly became “a walking encyclopedia of Marvel.” Usually that just makes you very good at internet message board arguments, but in Kevin’s case, it led him to this:

That’s right. It’s Kevin Feige — not Bacon as you were all no doubt guessing. Having been inspired by that first Superman film, Feige beelined directly to the Donners before getting thrown into X-Men and scooped up by Marvel. It was there that he continued to read an endless number of comics and work closely with directors making Spider-Man, X2, and Daredevil until 2005, when Marvel decided to make their own studio. In 2007, Kevin was named the chief of that studio and began to develop what would go on to be this jumbled mess of media:

The Marvel Cinematic Universe gave way to an entirely new method for making movies, now being applied to Star Wars, Lego, and even the goddamn The Mummy. It’s completely changed franchises and made a once-bankrupt Marvel Studios the hottest goddamn game in town… all ironically thanks to a fucking DC Comics movie. Thanks a bunch, you sulky jerks!

3

A Mailing Error By A Fresno Librarian Kicked Off The “Brat Pack” Era

All you Val-speaking, Atari-playing, AIDS-epidemic-ignoring ’80s kids no doubt perk up at the mention of the “Brat Pack,” but in case you’re scratching your supple 20-something heads, we’re referring to a group of young actors who swarmed Hollywood around the early 1980s. Luminaries like Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and all those The Breakfast Club motherfuckers were birthed from this era. The phrase “Brat Pack” was coined in a New York article, and became the soil in which a lot of pretty careers were cultivated.

Also, it was started by this lady:

Her name is Jo Ellen Misakian, and back in 1972 she was hired as a librarian aide at the Lone Star School in Fresno, California. While there, she noticed that the naturally reading-averse students all loved the same book, so she helped them start a petition to turn it into a movie. After attempting (and failing) to contact the author, Jo Ellen decided to just take a shot in the dark and mail the book to a known director instead. The book, by the way, was The Outsiders — the basis for the very first of the Brat Pack films, which kicked off the stellar careers of actors like Cruise, Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Patrick Swayze, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, that other guy, and that other other guy.

And this never would have existed as a film if it wasn’t for Mrs. Misakian, her plucky kid pals, and the fact that she totally fucked up mailing their petition.

You see, after deciding Francis Ford Coppola should direct the movie, Misakian found his New York address in the reference section of the Fresno library and mailed a copy of the petition there — but Coppola was living in Los Angeles at the time. The New York address was outdated and unused… and, consequently, got very little mail. However, it just so happened that Coppola was in New York that week, and was able to personally see the letter for that reason.

According to a producer there at the time, “It was lucky for the kids that we were in New York when it was sent over.” Eventually, Coppola read the attached book, optioned it, and then began production on the film, all while maintaining a correspondence with the librarian who first sent it to him.

In the end, the film was attributed to Misakian and her class — the closing credits saying, “The film The Outsiders is dedicated to the people who first suggested that it be made — librarian Jo Ellen Misakian and the students of The Lone Star School in Fresno, California.” The Brat Pack was born, and like a thousand careers started… all because a librarian sucked at tracking down someone’s more-current address.

2

Jurassic World And The New Star Wars Got Their Director From A Silly ’90s Magazine Ad

After culturally blue-balling us with talking raptors, the Jurassic Park franchise re-exploded the box office with Jurassic World‘s $1.6 billion dollars in ticket sales. World will go on to get a sequel (obviously), and the director is now working on Episode IX of Star Wars. And oddly enough, it was back in the decade when the first Jurassic Park became a hit (and we all thought Star Wars prequels would be, like, the raddest shit ever) that an author named John Silveira was inadvertently shaping all these events, like a secret John Hammond.

Back in the ’90s, Silveira would occasionally submit content for Backwoods Home Magazine. His job was to fill in gaps of the magazine’s classified section with whatever joke bullshit that came into his head. It was a fun gig with a specific and sparse readership, by definition.

Then, one day in 1997, Silveira was asked to contribute right before a deadline (what kind of backwoods magazi– oh, right). Without any prepared jokes, he remembered the opening lines to an old unfinished novel he had been working on years back. With the clock ticking, John spun the words into a fake classified ad and submitted the following:

Yes. That ad. Silveira had created what would later become a meme that would inspire Colin Trevorrow to make an indie film called Safety Not Guaranteed, about a dude looking for a time-travel partner. Not long after, director Brad Bird was being approached by Disney and Lucasfilm to direct the next Star Wars film — and in turning it down for Tomorrowland (yikes), Bird recommended they watch Trevorrow’s little movie.

In short, two major sci-fi franchises ended up being completely dependent on an indie comedy director who was inspired by some joke-writing weirdo in Southern California. And speaking of stuff Spielberg once touched…

1

Like Schindler’s List And The Coen Brothers? You Can Thank The Evil Dead For That

It’s not exactly controversial to say that the Coen Brothers are two of the most influential and iconic directors of this era. We also probably won’t get any hate mail for praising Liam Neeson’s performance in Schindler’s List, or really any of his subsequent roles. What will sound insane, however, is that all of these things are of direct result of the 1981 horror film The Evil Dead. You know, the one where a woman gets fucked by trees before turning into a Kandarian basement demon.

It was on this film that a young Joel Coen was working as an assistant editor while trying to make his debut with a script he co-wrote with his brother. While there, director Sam Raimi convinced the Coens to shoot a fake trailer for their script, which subsequently led to them finding investors for the movie — eventually called Blood Simple. You might recognize this as the pivotal moment leading to decades of amazing films like The Big Lebowski, No Country For Old Men, The Hudsucker Proxy, and certainly not Garfield (common mistake).

Meanwhile, while casting Blood Simple, the brothers went to see a play called Crimes Of The Heart. It featured Holly Hunter, who they immediately wanted to cast… but couldn’t, for scheduling reasons. However, Hunter went home from the audition and mentioned the film to her roommate: Frances McDormand. Frances, of course, would go on to kick ass in the role, marry Joel Coen, and play one of the most badass baby-ovens to ever point a gun at Peter Stormare.

And it gets weirder. Because while Holly didn’t get the role in Blood Simple, she would later move into a Silverlake home with both Coen brothers, McDormand, and Raimi — who at the time was writing Evil Dead II on the porch. Cut to a few years later, and a young actor named Bill Paxton got a phone call from his friend James Cameron asking if he had heard of Evil Dead II. When Paxton said no, Mr. Titanic rushed him to a local showing, as any loyal friend would. After falling in love with Raimi’s slapstick horror style, B-Pax auditioned for the director’s follow-up, Darkman. You with us so far?

According to Paxton (who later worked with Raimi on A Simple Plan), while he got super close to landing the role, he “made the mistake” of informing another friend about the movie as well. It was Liam Neeson.

Neeson got the role and killed it as the titular rubber-faced rage goon in Darkman, which was then seen by a stage actress named Natasha Richardson. At the time, Richardson was putting together a production of Anna Christie, and thanks to Darkman, she pursued Neeson to play a role. Not only would his performance in the show end in a marriage with Richardson, but it would grab the attention of a director in the audience… who at the time was casting an upcoming film called Schindler‘s Fucking List.

YEP. Liam Neeson’s entire career exploded because Bill Paxton was dragged to a screening of Evil Dead II and fell in love. Consider this yet another reason he’s going to be deeply missed. RIP, you ultimate badass.

David is an editor and columnist for Cracked. Please direct all your goddamn “hellos” to his Twitter account.

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