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lv-iceprince · 1 year ago

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🧸…written ship…🧸

@alaezasmystery235

i should be the one thanking you for fixing your old request, I truly appreciate it and since your request was so utterly perfect I immediately knew who to ship you with, so sit back and relax and ily so much xoxoxo

wren xx

~enhypen~ sunghoon🧸

Ahh let me tell you I was so excited to be starting off your ship with this. I personally feel biased towards this ship, it just feels so right and I can’t get the image of you and Sunghoon out of my head. In this case he would definitely be the one who is absolutely whipped for you. You just introduced him to so many new things in terms of happiness and a peaceful type of connection. Normally there would be an instance where two people find it hard to get along or discuss certain things because there is barely a point of interest that overlaps.

Somehow the differences between the two of you are what connects you, Sunghoon absolutely adores the fact that you aren’t the same, he definitely wouldn’t want to fall for another version of himself. Where’s the fun in that? He knew you would metaphorically take him on the ride of his life in terms of new experiences and he loved it. Even if he was ice cold to begin with his heart was beating twice the speed and he knew then and there that he had fallen in love with you.

There are many reasons as to why the two of you became so close on day one of your relationship, but the most obvious contributing factor is your honesty, both of you knew what you were getting out of your relationship, but apart from that Sunghoon is such a simp for people who are honest with him. He actually encourages your honesty, tell him how much of a fool he is and he will have the biggest cheesiest grin. But even if you are very straightforward with him he knows how to have you swooning over him. In many ways he is able to bring out your friendly nature, that’s not to say you weren’t nice to him it’s just that even when you tease him or pretend to be strict, he is able to charm you enough to shower him with love. What makes your love even more charming is the fact that you’re both quite hardened on the outside, both of you possess a really strong presence, so in actuality you could read each other extremely well even when you weren’t showing more than a pinch of actual emotion.

Even though Sunghoon would have fallen for a variety of reasons he is always intrigued and even amused at your leadership skills and exceptional confidence. Something that brings him great pride in your relationship is the fact that he has a girlfriend who doesn’t mind leading the relationship at times.

And it may seem like I am contradicting myself when I mention this but, there are a few hobbies and interests that do overlap but apart from those three things you are both complete opposites in morals and interests. Regardless, Sunghoon loves this and he will make the most out of the three hobbies or interests that you do share, those being reading, daydreaming and dancing. Before I move on to the conclusion of this part of your ship, I just need to quickly mention that I don’t even know if Sunghoon is particularly fond of horror thriller movies, and if he isn’t he definitely puts on a brave front for you.

This is important to mention because that is literally the best description of your relationship. Sunghoon is just a lovesick man who would show you the world on a magic carpet if he could. The love for you he feels is real, but the realest thing is the shy smile he has when he is around you.

~bts~ jungkook 🧸

This was totally one of those ships where it felt so obvious, yet I truly didn’t know why I ship you with Jungkook as much as I do. But I decided to just wing it and see how the written section of this ship would turn out. Throughout your description one key thing stuck out to me and that was the fact that you seem like a very passionate person. Whether it be the fact that you’re friendly and place significant value on the connections that you have with people or the fact that you are so passionate about your interests. You just seem enthusiastic about your life and all the chaos that ensues, even if you get stressed you come across as a very optimistic person.

This is definitely something that works very well with Jungkook, there has been a lot of growth during his time as an idol, regardless, he is still quite youthful and excitable. He really just leans into experimenting with who he is and his image and that works so well with everything that you are.

Jungkook would be so passionate about falling in love and getting the opportunity to show you just how much love he holds in his heart, and there is no question about it, he would be so certain that you’re the person he wants to pursue a relationship with.

Straight off the bat I just know you are both the most outgoing and adventurous couple, and you have that young love type of charm. Whether you decide to have a more public relationship or not, it’s just hard for people to not admire the connection that you have with Jungkook. Your relationship is one built on immense trust and honesty due to the fact that you are both quite humble, trustworthy and honest. Unlike your ship with Sunghoon both of you are two peas in a pod. Jungkook truly gets you even if you come across as being a bit more calculating and mysterious at times.

Another thing that I really need to mention. You briefly described your general style and way of going about things as being similar to Jennie Kim and this is the part of the ship where I have to start trusting my heart but I really feel like a person of that calibre is a beautiful contrast to Jungkook’s appearance and personality. You’re a very fun partner to him, he is a pretty casual guy and he will always be down to do anything you want to do. He is an easy person to read so you will notice when he isn’t really into the activity of the day but this is Jungkook we are talking about! He will make your days so fun and interesting; he did write Seven after all.

I don’t know where to put this but Jungkook would totally serenade you and sometimes his spur of the moment songs can be little questionable and desperate but this is just a sign that he trusts you so much. He isn’t afraid to get a little goofy. Regardless, you have a very good connection. He is more street-smart but he is still very witty and intellectual and will randomly launch into very deep and intelligent conversations. So really, he has his silly moments but he is also smart enough to keep up with you, he’s a multi talent and so are you.

Even though you had found a way to get along and live a really good life together Jungkook was and is still mystified by the mask that you wear, he knows a sweet cutie is under there so he persists and remains loyal with his love for you. He is willing to explore the extent of his feelings for you and in doing so he realises that his heart beats in time with yours.

#kpop ships #kpop matchups #written ships #enha #enhypen #bts #boyfriend aesthetic

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atsuchan · 1 year ago

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What do you think of Nozomi Takahashi??? (the cat girl from the Ososan movie in 2019)

I UTTERLY ADORE HER!! An actual angel on earth!!!

Probably unsurprising to say that I have a huge fondness for all the minor characters in the series (in general I really like all the movie high school alumni characters) but even then I'd say Nozomi is really among my faves and one I find myself thinking about a lot.

She's so incredibly cute and charming. Both in terms of her personality and her design. She's for sure reminiscent of some other characters I'm a big fan of too. So I was just immediately drawn to her.

I wish the series would/could use her again. Whether via skits that use the 18matsus again (even if just briefly like in the "Friend" skit in s3) or really just in any of the countless AU skits or something. I'm still surprised that when hesowars was still running, it didn't even give her some alternate sets. That would have been fun.

Basically I wanna see her again!!!!!

#✌️✨#i was gonna say a few other things but this just got too ramble-y 😭 but basically i love her #plus i have to mention im biased towards characters who have something with their teeth like a gap or spacing or a tooth missing #it's a big charm point to me (though its kinda rare)

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holdmytesseract · 2 years ago

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Hello! How are you feeling?

What is your motivation to write and what got you to start writing? Did you love to write since you learnt how to or is it a hobby you developed later on? And last but not least - what drew you to Loki?(i hope none of these are too intrusive, if they are, I'm very sorry that i asked that)

I hope you get back to feeling supre healthy in no time me!

Lots of love❤️❤️

Hi there, nonny! ☺️ Well... I'm feeling okay, but not excellent. 🙈 Thanks for asking! ☺️

Ohhh I love your questions! 🥰 Let's dig into this! 😁 (This might become a long answer... I'm already apologising. 🙈)

My motivation: Lot of things. I am a very creative person. I love to explore the 'what if's' of a plot. I love to create my own version of characters and their stories. Also, all the lovely people on here, who are reading my stories are a huge motivation. All my friends on here, who share the same passion as I do. It's great!

What got me into writing: Harry Potter. My first fic was a continuation of a fic (I think. Can't remember exactly, it's been a long time) I read about, uhhh... 8, 9 years back? That was the start. I stopped writing again, though, 'cause I was sooo bad at it. 😅 A really good friend of mine pulled me back into writing again, when she showed me Doctor Who, about 6 years back.

Did I love to write since I learned it or is it a hobby I developed over time? Yep, loved it from the very start. I saw it, tried it, loved it - even though I was really shitty in the beginning. 😂 It was my way of escaping reality - and it still is.

What drew me to Loki: Weeeell... He popped up on my tumblr dashboard from time to time, and I always asked myself: Who is that handsome, mysterious stranger and why is he here??? No joke, he followed me - until I finally decided to find out who the hell he is. That's how I discovered the movie 'Thor'. I watched it and immediately fell head over heels for Loki. It's not just his incredibly good looks, no... I just love his character. He's so multifaceted. He can be dark, mysterious, dangerous, mean and arrogant, but also sassy, funny, vulnerable and utterly charming. Despite that, I tend to love the 'bad guys/misunderstood characters' in movies and series, so... 😅

Thank you sooo much for these questions! They are not intrusive at all! I loved them! 🥰 You are so kind, thank you! Sending lots of love back! 💚

#lovely asks <3

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kanisema-blog · 7 months ago

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My heart thumped a frantic rhythm against my ribs as I shuffled into geometry class, late again. My locker had decided to stage a mini rebellion, swallowing my backpack whole, and the only witness to my morning struggle was the disapproving gaze of Mr. Davis, our ever-stern geometry teacher.

That is, until a chuckle cut through the tense silence. I looked up to find Ethan, the boy with eyes the color of melted chocolate and a grin that could disarm a bomb, stifling a laugh.

"Everything alright there, Amelia?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Just a little locker malfunction," I mumbled, cheeks burning with heat. "Sorry for the interruption, Mr. Davis."

Mr. Davis mumbled something about tardiness, but his stern look softened when he saw Ethan's face. Ethan had a way of disarming everyone, even the most hardened teachers.

That small interaction, right there in the middle of geometry class, was the spark that ignited everything. Before that, Ethan was just another face in the crowded halls, a boy I admired from afar. But that day, a connection formed, a silent understanding that blossomed into whispered conversations during lunch and stolen glances across the cafeteria.

One day, as we snuck out for an unauthorized "bathroom break" (which really meant hiding on the roof to escape a particularly soul-crushing lecture on isosceles triangles), I blurted it out. "Every day is more fun ever since I saw you," I confessed, feeling the words tumble out in a rush. "Fear disappears when you are with me."

Ethan's eyes widened. Then, a slow smile spread across his face, chasing away the shadows I hadn't even realized were there. "That's… exactly how I feel," he admitted, his voice a husky whisper.

And just like that, we were officially an item. Our world became a whirlwind of stolen glances in hallways, whispered secrets during movie nights at each other's homes, and the thrill of holding hands under the bleachers during football games. We were young, awkward, and utterly smitten.

Ethan wasn't just funny and charming; he was my confidante, my biggest cheerleader. He believed in my dreams when I doubted myself, celebrated my successes like they were his own, and picked me up when I stumbled. He challenged me to be better, to push my boundaries, and in return, I did the same for him.

Our high school journey wasn't all sunshine and stolen kisses. There were fights, of course, mostly fueled by teenage angst and insecurities. But even during the stormiest of times, the memory of that day on the roof, our fears dissipating in each other's presence, kept us tethered.

Graduation day arrived in a flurry of tears, laughter, and bittersweet goodbyes. We were headed to different colleges, chasing different dreams, but the fear of losing each other was overshadowed by the promise of staying connected, of our love story continuing on a new chapter.

Years passed, filled with late-night video calls, cross-country visits, and countless texts filled with inside jokes and shared dreams. Distance couldn't sever the bond we'd forged, a bond built on shared laughter, quiet understanding, and the unwavering belief that no matter what life threw our way, we'd face it together.

And we did. We navigated the challenges of adulthood, supporting each other through career changes, family struggles, and the general chaos of life. The boy with the chocolate-colored eyes and the disarming grin became the man who held my hand through every triumph and every tear, the one constant in a world that sometimes felt ever-changing.

One day, on a visit back to our hometown, we found ourselves standing on the rooftop of our old high school, the place where it all began. The city lights twinkled in the distance, reminding us of the path we'd traveled together.

"Remember geometry class and the isosceles triangle fiasco?" I asked, a smile tugging at my lips.

Ethan chuckled, pulling me closer. "How could I forget? It was the day I fell in love with a girl who hated geometry."

He took a deep breath, his eyes searching mine. "And Amelia," he continued, his voice thick with emotion, "every day is still more fun since I saw you. The fear… well, it might not always disappear, but with you by my side, it feels more like a shared adventure."

Tears welled up in my eyes, a testament to the love story that began on a rooftop, a story that promised to continue, an adventure we'd face side by side, forever.

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rwprincess · 3 years ago

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Head Over Feet (Brian Johnson x Fem!Reader)

Masterlist

Word Count: 4.8k

Synopsis: What’s that sound? It’s another anachronistic Brian Johnson songfic! (Based on Alanis Morissette’s Head Over Feet) You’re one of Bender’s trash-punk friends and things change drastically when he brings the scrawny brain from detention with him to meet you all. Set up in snippets, your relationship develops with Brian, even if you weren’t really looking for a relationship.

CW: Teenage smoking (including reader), swearing, parental abuse (being being kicked out), sexism, angst and fluff

“This is Johnson,” Bender indicated the boy he brought along to your group’s spot under the bleachers.

“Brian, please.” The kid corrected. You eyed the gangly youth from top to bottom; in his sweater over a crisply-ironed collared shirt and khakis, he definitely didn’t fit in here with you all. You’d be called grungy punks at best. You didn’t think any of you even owned an iron and crisp definitely wasn’t your style. You blew out a puff of smoke, exhaling the nicotine from your lungs and shifted your gaze to Bender, wondering what he was at with this. He wasn’t the best guy, but pranking this preppy little nerd by bringing him down to your hangout? That seemed beneath him.

“You, uh, running some kinda charity here, Bender? We’re not exactly Make-A-Wish material, kid.” Scorch told the blonde dweeb and you snorted at the thought.

“Shut the fuck up,” was all Bender said in response. The rest of the twenty minutes of Brian Johnson standing there was of course, incredibly awkward and it was clear to everyone that he didn’t fit in. But that didn’t stop him from coming back a week later. And again a few days after that. And again and again until, well, that dork had grown on the lot of you. While he didn’t partake in cigarette smoking like most of you, he did take Bender up on his weed on several occasions and was actually really funny while high. He did weirdly spot-on impressions and had a sense of humor that none of your group had anticipated.

And, as much as you would vehemently deny it, you liked him when he was sober, too. He was incredibly smart and helpful and while his jokes were different without marijuana in his system, he could be amusing. That first awkward encounter was back in March, maybe April. But now you spent time with him without the convenience of school pulling you together. Now it was June and you sought to spend time with him, even without the group. Tonight, you were laying in a field not far from the high school, just the two of you. You liked to listen to him ramble on about the constellations and the myths about why they were named as they were. You remembered liking that as a kid, but you didn’t remember most of the stories. You knew you could ask him questions about the actual stars, too. Like, the science of it, and he would know. But you’d rather let him ramble and tackle one subject at a time. Even though he focused more on science and math, he was a pretty good storyteller, and right now that provided you with more of an escape than talking about the chemical composition of a star. When he finished his retelling of Ursa Minor’s story, however, he remained silent and didn’t start up a new piece of lore. After a moment, you looked at him to see what the hold up was, but you just caught his eye as his gaze was already fixed on you. Your heart started pounding in your chest because you knew what was coming.

“You know, we could go on an actual date some time.” Brian suggested, breaking the silence. You closed your eyes, almost wincing at the words. He was generally more subtle than this, but the same idea had been brought up before. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Brian. In general, you did, and in the honest depths of your soul, it was as more than a friend. But, every time it came down to this subject, you panicked. You had never been serious with anyone and the thought of dating was completely foreign to you. You had messed around with some guys before but you never had feelings for them. You didn’t know how to depend on another person, to have an actual relationship with them.

I had no choice but to hear you

You stated your case time and again

I thought about it

You sighed, your eyes still closed. You didn’t know what to tell him. Before, he always left it as more of a hint and it was easier to dodge. Now he was just coming out and saying it. Basically asking you out, so you would actually have to turn him down this time. The terrible thing was, you didn’t really want to. The conscious side of you wanted to agree and go out with him, on a proper date. But your subconscious kicked you into fight or flight mode and if you weren’t in the middle of a field, you might have picked flight and walked away. But that didn’t seem to be an option.

“Look, Johnson. It’s not that easy. Just...don’t waste your time on me.”

“I’m already wasting my time on you.” He pointed out, but when you took a peek at him, he didn’t seem upset about it. He was actually grinning about it. “We’re already wasting our time out here. Or at the library, or under the bleachers… So why not like, a movie theater or dinner, or my house?”

“Oh yeah, your mom would love having me around.” You joked, humorlessly. The smattering of times you had met Brian’s mother hadn’t gone swimmingly. You could read the derision in her voice and knew she did not approve of her good little baby hanging out with a ne’er-do-well like you.

“She’d come around. You’re different once someone actually gets to know you.” He meant it as a compliment, but you took it as your out.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You leapt up, indignantly and he just gaped at you like a fish out of water.

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it, I swear!” He put his hands up defensively as you looked down at him. “Forget it, I’m sorry.” You had victory, he dropped the subject and your friendship could last another night and you could try to pretend like he wasn’t right, that you two weren’t meant to be something more.

*~~~~*

You treat me like I'm a princess

I'm not used to liking that

You ask how my day was

For the most part, working at Bert’s auto shop felt worthwhile and valuable. Other days, it chewed you up and spit you out. It was hard being in such a masculine environment and not fitting into that type. Customers (mostly men, but even the women too) thought that you were less knowledgeable and handy than your cohorts. Bender’s teasing didn’t help that image, either.

Now you slid into the booth at Gino’s pizzeria utterly deflated and defeated. Of course, Brian took notice right away. “Rough day?” He inquired, pushing a menu towards you even though he knew you ordered the same thing every time.

“That’s not even the half of it. Why does Bender hafta be such a dick all the time?!” You asked, incredulously but sincerely, diving right into your problem.

“I don’t know. I think he thinks it’s part of his charm? Maybe it is. I mean, we’re still friends with him.” You nodded at his point, but clenched your fists just the same.

“I just wish he knew when to back off sometimes. Like, he never realizes he’s taking it too far and digging you further into a shithole.”

“What did he do this time?” Brian’s gaze on you was unbroken; it made you feel important, like your opinion, your story, was the only thing that mattered.

“So we got this old guy in the shop today. Beautiful car, so of course he was hesitant with me touching it.” You began and his eyebrows furrowed, already not liking the direction this was going. “And I’m trying to prove myself worthy to work on this car, even though I would just be doing an oil change, which isn’t like a big deal anyway, right? Simple stuff.” You looked to him to get acknowledgement to move forward.

“I mean, I guess. I don’t really know about oil changes or anything about cars. But I know you do.”

“Right, so Bender has to go and make a crack to the old guy about how they won’t let me near it and I’m just the secretary for the shop or whatever. Just a total dick move. But of course the guy believed him and laughed with him and sent me to go get him a cup of coffee? I mean, what the hell is that?”

“That’s not right. And you wear a mechanic’s uniform at work, why would he think--?”

“Because macho man Bender told him I was! He was more believable than me.” You sank back and put a hand up to brace your forehead as the waitress approached the table. You prepared to order your drink when she set down exactly what you would have ordered in front of you and walked away, promising to come back in a few minutes. You blinked at the cup as if it magically had appeared.

“I uh, figured you’d get the usual and you’d need it when you got here, so I ordered for you. I hope that’s okay.” Brian said and then looked away, suddenly embarrassed by the idea. Since he wasn’t looking at you anyway, you allowed your lips to twitch up into a smile threatening to break out on your face...but only for a moment.

“Yeah, whatever. So anyway, Bender…” you carried on, pretending nothing happened, but secretly cataloguing his gesture in your memory.

*~~~~*

The only thing worse than arguing with Brian or him pissing you off was him making you laugh. There were times that you would go home with sore sides and itchy eyes from the tears that formed while laughing so hard. Then you would always, always reflect on the hours you just spent together, feeling the warmth and butterflies tickle your insides and a nervous heat would prickle your skin as you thought about how happy Brian made you. He never pushed you to do anything; he liked you the way you were. Sure, he would drop hints here and there about how you should stop smoking or give you advice when you had a particularly bad argument with one of your friends, but overall, he just accepted you. And you knew how hard that was to find.

You had never been popular and when junior high rolled around, you accepted that you never would be. You found your own little group of outcasts who understood what it was like to be kicked down time and again, and now he had somehow joined that group too. You knew he understood how it felt. Even though he looked different and came from a very different social circle, he had been looked down upon by his peers all his life. You were guilty of judging him the same way when you first met him, but now you couldn’t imagine life without him. He was cut of the same cloth and you could see yourself in him, which is why you just clicked. And he was so kind and so patient with you. You tried to push him away dozens of times, to put up the barriers and the walls that worked so well for everyone that came before him; you couldn’t be hurt if you never got attached. Where most people gave up and only saw the cold, distant bitch you gave them, Brian always saw something more. He didn’t give up in breaking down those walls, and even accepted just being your friend. That made you love him even more.

Shit, wait. Did you just think about loving Brian? A crush is one thing. Having a buddy to fool around with is one thing. Being in love was quite another.

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

*~~~~*

Mercedes Johnson was all about keeping up appearances, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear her arguing with Brian on the other side of the door, about you. Again. You had known from the second you met her that she didn’t like you. She was instantly worried about the influence you’d have on her son; it was a common reaction from parents based on the way you looked and the company you kept. You would think you’d be used to it by now.

However, it truthfully bothered you more because this was Brian’s mother. You were hoping that she would be different and see the person underneath like her son had, or at the very least, that she would eventually warm up to you. You had no luck with either.

“I’m not comfortable with having her over at the house right now.” You could hear her tell Brian.

“She’s my friend, ma. Of course she’s going to come over--”

“I’m aware of that but you know I wish she weren’t. I would prefer that you keep the company of other friends.” The formality of her sentences while she was still cruelly putting you both down made you cringe.

“You don’t know her because you won’t give her a chance. She’s not that different from my other friends.”

“You have friends in the Physics Club, from Knowledge Bowl, Honor Students. You don’t need the association with a hoodlum like that or John Bender and I don’t know why you keep insisting on bringing them into my home when I have repeatedly told you no. I don’t want them around your sister, or even you!”

“Fine. Then we’ll leave.” You heard the door swing open harshly and Brian was motioning for you to follow him out of the house.

“Brian Ralph Johnson!” You heard his mother cry after the two of you. Brian held open the front door for you and you looked at him cautiously before rushing out. You knew you weren’t wanted there, but you were worried that he wouldn’t come with you. You were even more worried that he would. “You are not leaving this house.” Mercedes put on the most intimidating tone you had witnessed her use.

“No, I am. We are. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t bother coming back tonight if you walk out of this house!” She was now pink-faced and losing all of the reserved, polished look you had seen her have. She had never been so...uncomposed.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” Brian said and grabbed you by the elbow as he escorted you down the driveway to your car. He immediately got into the passenger seat and as you sunk behind the steering wheel, you glanced at him.

“Brian, this is stupid. You don’t have to---you shouldn’t do this.” The whole situation reminded you of the many times you had been kicked out of your house. This was just another home you weren’t welcome in.

He clenched his jaw in response. “Let’s just go. I’ll figure it out later. Please, just drive.”

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole

You're so much braver than I gave you credit for

That's not lip service

“Your mom gave you a choice, you know. It’s not like she told you to get out. She actually told you not to leave.” You said as you both sat on the trunk of your car, looking out across the field that was slowly turning to a golden hue, both from the afternoon sun and the change into autumn. Neither of your houses were really an option to go to, so you just chose the empty field that you would look at stars in during the summer.

“It’s not like it was really a choice though, was it? I’m tired of her trying to control every part of my life. I need to start thinking for myself, doing things for myself. She needs to understand that I’m going to do what I want, and like who I want to like.” He looked at you meaningfully for a moment, but you looked away quickly. It was too heavy for you to process right now.

“That’s a big step. I’m really impressed with you for standing up for yourself.” You told him, and he gave you an appreciative, heart-stopping smile in return that caused your cheeks to flush. Your parents had shouted at you to leave so many times before, any time you were ‘inconvenient’ for them, that it was hard to relate to someone who chose not to stay. But you wanted to support him and you did feel proud of him today. You thought back to the most recent event in which you had been dismissed from your family, and how you had tried to take it out on Brian:

You slammed your locker and watched him almost jump out of his skin. “I don’t want to talk about this.” You growled at Brian.

“I understand that, but you need to. You can’t just--”

“Just what?”

“You can’t just act like nothing happened or run away from it...run away from here.” You had been disciplined at school yet again and your parents had had enough. You had a big fight with them the night prior and did not sleep in your own bed. The tiredness racked your body today and you were stiff from sleeping in your car. If it weren’t for the social aspect, you wouldn’t have bothered coming to school. But you quickly realized you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone, and you were only making the situation worse.

“Like hell I can’t.” You stated, quickly turning to walk away.

“Y/N, don’t. Come on, talk to me. Tell me what happened. We can figure it out together.”

“There’s nothing to figure out, bucko. I’ll be fine. I’ll do this on my own. I’m used to that anyway.”

“But you don’t have to be alone, Y/N. That’s what I’m saying! That’s my whole point: I’m here for you!”

“I didn’t ask you to be, Brian.”

“No, because friends don’t have to ask.” His words scared you. Nobody had so adamantly offered to be a safety net to you before.

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “we’re great friends. We’ve bonded so much in the, what, four months you’ve known me?” You rolled your eyes, trying to make him feel uncomfortable, to drive a wedge between you. You only knew how to put up walls, how to run.

“You know we are.”

“Yeah, sure, right. Friends. Not like you want to sleep with me or anything.” You tried to drive another knife into him, to play it off like he was following you only because he had a crush on you, one you tried to pretend wasn’t reciprocated. “It’s not going to happen, Brian. So just accept that we’re not friends.”

He let you get about three steps away before you heard him say, “No. I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. Sure, part of me wants something more, but...I care about you, Y/N. And if we can just be friends, I am happy with that, I swear. But don’t do this to me. Don’t try to shut me out or walk away or act like you’re fine. I know you well enough to know you’re not.” When you turned around, you could see that he had tears rimming his eyes, threatening to fall, which made your own tears spring up as well. “I am your friend. I’m not going to just let you go and do something stupid. You are going to talk about this. If not to me, then someone else. But you can’t just run away or sleep in your car or, or…”

“Okay.” You said, softly.

“Okay?”

“Fine, let’s talk about it. I screwed up again and my parents kicked me out. So what do I do?”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I...we’ll think of something.” He began to tell you, but you bit your lip and drowned him out in your own sobs. Everything crashed in on you at once; you hadn’t escaped in time. You slid down your locker wall and sat on the floor. Brian joined you and put his arm around you tentatively.

You are the bearer of unconditional things

You held your breath and the door for me

Thanks for your patience

After that day, you knew he wouldn’t let you go. You tried your best to brush him off, to hurt him, to land irreparable blows. But it was all in vain; he stuck by you. You admired how he stood up for you, for your relationship, whatever that meant. He didn’t back down, even though you knew he genuinely cared what you thought. He was willing to put everything on the line just to be with you, in whatever capacity you would allot him. And today, he had chosen you again. He had picked a fight with his mother and chosen you. He placed you above being safe and comfortable and at home right now.

“I’m sorry, this must seem so stupid to be complaining about. I know I don’t have it that bad, it’s just that--”

“No, your problems are valid, too. Your mom sucks.” You told him and he laughed, “But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t...weird to have someone be given the choice to stay instead of being yelled at to get out and that you’re worthless and---I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make this about me.” You said softly, looking down at your hands.

“No, I get it. It’s gotta be on your mind a lot, the uncertainty. Plus, I don’t mind talking about you.” He nudged your shoulder with his own, trying to be playful but you knew he meant that. He always put you first. You couldn’t help your next impulse as your hand shot up to cup his face and you leaned in and kissed him roughly. You weren’t entirely sure why you had done it. It would probably change everything and you couldn’t tell if you were doing it selfishly to feel like someone cared or to keep him around or because you truly wanted to. Of course, he kissed you back, and the feeling it gave you pushed a lot of those doubts from your mind.

You're the best listener that I've ever met

You're my best friend

Best friend with benefits

What took me so long?

*~~~~*

The kiss in the field still didn’t mean you were “together.” Realistically, it complicated things for a while. You avoided Brian for a couple of days and didn’t discuss it when you finally caved in to your desire to see him. He didn’t bring it up either, even though there were many times he would look at your lips like he wanted to make a move again, but you never talked about it. Things began to look “normal” after about two weeks. You spent time at the record shop, or under the bleachers with your friends or in the library with his friends. He nagged you about giving up smoking and you finally listened, much to his surprise.

“What made you finally decide to quit?” He asked, looking at the nicotine patch on your arm. You shrugged, not wanting to tell him the truth.

“I guess I just finally got tired of you being a broken record, mother hen.” You teased him, but he just smiled because he was happy with your choice. The truth of the matter was, you had done it for him. While you weren’t with him, you wanted to be. You didn’t want to keep doing something that bothered him so much, but you also knew that eventually, your habit of smoking would cost time with him and you didn’t want that. You lied to yourself that you didn’t want a relationship and weren’t thinking about a future with Brian, but you were. Every time he helped you study or encouraged you to do your best, the time your parents were out of town so he had made you his “specialty” of spaghetti in your kitchen, when you drove him around singing songs together on the radio...you thought about doing those things with him forever and instead of the fear you used to feel at such a thought, you felt happiness. You anticipated a future with him, something to look forward to.

I've never felt this healthy before

I've never wanted something rational

I am aware now

*~~~~*

“It’s kind of weird, yeah. But they’re cute together, I guess.” You had just returned from a movie with Bender and Claire. You were surprised at how long their relationship had lasted, especially since you had hated Claire at first. You assumed she was dating Bender as a statement, but it had been over six months and they were still together and it just seemed to work.

“It must be nice to have someone like that. Even if they don’t make sense, they care about each other. It just must be a nice thing to have a relationship like that.” Brian looked at you for a moment before backpedaling, realizing he must have made it sound like he was guilt-tripping you. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you out again. I really just was complimenting them--”

“Well, maybe you should.” You cut him off.

You realized how rare a find like Brian truly was. He always put you before himself; he listened to all of your problems and knew when to offer solutions and when to just listen. He was endlessly supportive, and kind. He kept taking giant risks just to be with you, to show you that you mattered to him. You knew, without him saying it, that he loved you. Why else would someone go to the lengths he did, just to make you happy? You had tried everything to shake him, to get rid of him so neither one of you would be in too deep to get hurt. But he stayed, and now, you wouldn’t want him to go anyway. It was too late; you were both already in too deep.

He just blinked at you, sure he had heard incorrectly. “Wh-what?”

“I said, maybe you should. Ask me out again.”

“Y/N, do you want to go out with me?” He asked, unsure. It felt like a setup, but he knew you wouldn’t do something so cruel to him.

“Yes.” You replied, softly.

“Why?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I don’t know. I guess you won me over.” You chuckled, but he failed to see the humor in it, so you changed to a more serious tone. “Brian, I thought that these feelings would go away, that you would go away. Lord knows how hard I’ve tried to push you. But...you didn’t and the feelings didn’t. I-I love you. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep loving you, I don’t want to waste my time with anyone else. And...And I think that you love me.”

“I do.” He breathed quietly, with zero hesitation.

“So, why fight it any more? I was afraid that I would hurt you, but I think I’ve already done that and you’ve stuck around.” He nodded in confirmation of that fact. “And I was scared that I would get hurt but...but I’ve realized that you won’t do that to me, either.”

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

He took your hands in his, “You’re serious? You really want this? Because, you know how I feel. How I’ve always felt.” You nodded in response, tears quickly filling your eyes, which was a rarity for you. He leaned in towards you to kiss you, for the first time since your conversation in the field over a month ago. He waited for you to be ready in every aspect of your relationship and you had never known so much love and respect before. It took some adjusting to, but he had pulled you in and made you fall for him again and again.

Just gonna tag my buddy...

@90sinequity

#brian johnson x reader #brian x reader #breakfast club #the breakfast club #reader insert #reader-insert #romance #mild angst #angst with a happy ending

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nat-20s · 4 years ago

Text

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

#wonderful! au #jonmartin #jon sims #martin blackwood #>:3 #shoutouts are their versions of jumbotrons btw

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absolutebl · 2 years ago

Note

what ARE your fav trash watches? I haven’t watched a lot of series yet so DSN is prob one of my only trash watches that I enjoyed enough to rewatch so far…(there’s maybe a few contenders but they either just finished or are close to finishing lol)

Oh you're trying to out me, aren't you? I’m brave, I own my trashy inclinations.

My Favorite Trash Watches!

Imma pick the ones that I actually rewatch even though the show is trash, as opposed to the times I trash watched a show and mostly just enjoyed eviscerating it. (Those are all listed here.)

ALL THE TRIGGERS!

HIStory 4: Close to You (the side couple) - 2021 Taiwan

Issues: stepbrothers, obsession, stalking, psychopathic tendencies, dubious consent

Oh yeah, I am beyond aware of how terrible this story arc is: consent issues, stalking, everything is terrible. I just LOVE the chemistry so much and frankly I don’t care to examine the part of my brain that likes this couple. BECAUSE I AM TRASH.

Irresistible Love: Secret of the Valet & Irresistible Love 2 - China 2016

(sometimes also called Uncontrolled Love or Force Majeure)

Issues: whipping boy, obsession, CEO, office/home, codependent, obsessive/tsundere, kidnapping

Exists in 2 parts/movies, 2nd movie has two alternate endings: a kinda happy and a definitely NOT happy, usually found grey on YT. I not-so-secretly love this BL: Kidnapping, whipping boy, obsession, mutilation, very hard fought happy ending (in one version). Absolutely classic Chinese BL pre-censorship. It's a wild melodramatic ride.

TharnType - Thailand 2019

Issues: dub con, conflation of gay with pedophile, domestic violence, rough play

To be fair I haven’t rewatched in YEARS, partly because we have just gotten more higher heat just as good (Why R U? Cutie Pie... Taiwan). There was a while there back when it was up on YouTube that this show was, basically, it.

HIStory Obsessed - Taiwan 2017

Issues: stalking, obsession, rough play, identity loss

The softest version of the world’s most problematic yaoi tropes, while still managing to be those tropes.

Make It Right - Thailand 2016-2017

Issues: dub con, messy bi, cheating, push/pull, terrible chemistry

What to say about this show, the origin of the Thai BL pulps? It’s objectively problematic, and not just the leads but the side couple too, and yet I love it. I tend to call myself the “worlds foremost Make It Right apologist.” I recognize the issues but I find it utterly charming, especially Tee’s utter devotion to Fuse the disaster.

Others I Hold Trashily Dear?

2009 Takumi-kun 2: Rainbow Colored Glass - Japan

2021 Nitiman - Thai

2021 Second Chance - Thai

2021 You Are Ma Boy AKA EM LÀ CHÀNG TRAI CỦA ANH - Vietnam

(source)

#trashy bl #my favorite trash watches #thai bl #Make It Right #taiwanese bl #HIStory Obsession #HIStory Obsessed #TharnType #Irresistible Love: Secret of the Valet #chinese bl #Irresistible Love 2 #Uncontrolled Love #Force Majeure #HIStory 4: Close to You

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erictmason · 3 years ago

Text

Sonic Boom (A “Sonic the Hedgehog 2″ Review)

OK, full disclosure: I didn’t especially like the first “Sonic the Hedgehog” movie. I appreciate what other fans saw in it, and I’d even say I agree: the movie’s portrayal of Sonic himself was genuinely pretty good, an interesting reinterpretation of the character that plays him more as an overly energetic Kid in contrast to the Teenager With Attitude he’s traditionally portrayed as, matched with a charming vocal performance by Ben Schwartz and an intensely appealing design from fan-favorite artist Tyson Hesse. But as important as getting Sonic right is to a “Sonic” movie, for me it’s not enough to compensate for a story that was, at best, pretty generic, with some frustratingly poor effects work and some thoroughly uninspired directing. Oh, and I also really didn’t like Jim Carrey’s Robotnik, who for me never stopped feeling like An Excuse For Jim Carrey To Do Schtick first, with any sort of actual consistent characterization a very distant second. Again, I get why others feel differently, but that’s just where it lands for me.

So it should tell you something significant that I find myself a lot more favorably disposed to “Sonic the Hedgehog 2”.

To be clear, that’s not the same as saying I thought it was the absolute best; it recreates a lot of the first movie’s weaknesses and adds on some truly baffling ones of its own. The story especially remains less than spectacular; it’s thankfully not as bland as the first one, pulling more overtly from the narrative of the “Sonic” games enough to give itself a slightly more distinct personality, but it still struggles with things like Pacing (the second act especially is inexcusably bloated, but we’ll get to the specifics on that in a minute) and Coherency. That last point is especially frustrating when it comes to Tails, a mainstay of the “Sonic” games who joins the movies here. While still voiced with appreciable charm by his long-time VA Colleen O’Shaughnessey, the story only ever kind of knows what to do with him; his motivations are left frustratingly vague, and he ultimately isn’t given as much to do or as much importance to the story as you might expect. It’s not a total failure, indeed ultimately Tails’ presence (and Knuckles’ as well, but again I’ll get to that in a bit) proves a worthwhile one for how he brings with him his iconic friendship with Sonic and how well that works for both characters, but it is hard to miss how minor Tails feels here, especially compared to some of the stuff the movie wastes time on that I rather wished it hadn’t. In particular it attempts to beef up the roles of returning minor characters from the previous film in ways that didn’t really work for me; that’s bad enough when it comes to a needless sub-plot involving Adam Pally’s Deputy Wade and Lee Madjoub’s Agent Stone which at least has the good sense to be short even as it doesn’t really add anything to the main story, but it is very bad in the case of that distended second act I mentioned. That’s where the movie very obviously and forcibly twists itself in such a way as to shift focus away from literally any of the characters we are actually supposed to be following to instead turn into a completely different movie focused around Natasha Rockwell’s Rachel and newcomer Shemar Moore as her fiancé Randall, a pair of characters who, up until that exact moment, have been utterly inconsequential to the main story, and will in fact return to being completely inconsequential the moment their tedious mini-movie runs its course. Mind you, I’m even willing to say something half-way nice about this, as the nasty jokes at Rachel’s expense were one of my least favorite aspects of the first movie, and I also at least theoretically appreciate the chance this affords Tika Sumpter’s Maddie to do more this time around, but it’s just so enervating and unfunny to me and it seriously comes out of nowhere and grinds the entire rest of the movie to a halt. I don’t even especially like it for the Lore-Building function it’s meant to serve (which I won’t spoil here), which feels like it could and indeed should have been handled literally any other way.

But for all those criticisms, I did ultimately say I came out of this one feeling fairly good about it, and that holds true. The key (and you’ll notice this applies to why so much of what I just talked about doesn’t work for me) is that the movie is much more explicitly centered on Sonic, who remains as charming and endearing a presence here as he was before but now has even greater room to really flourish because everything now relates much more directly to him, rather than having to be mediated through other characters first. That’s especially true of Carrey; I’m still not entirely sold on him in this particular role, but not only does the movie at least work a little harder to make his Robotnik feel like an actual character rather than a fairly random string of Comedy Moments, but moreover Carrey’s willfully petulant take on him plays so much more effectively when it’s bouncing off of the childish Sonic, and especially when complemented by the real MVP of the whole thing, Knuckles the Echidna. Played by Idris Elba, who is hardly taxing himself here but nonetheless delivers a fun performance that makes perfect use of his signature deep voice both for Menace and for humor (the movie gets a very impressive amount of mileage out of having him deliver his portentous proclamations with the exact same tone with which he naively blunders through misunderstandings), he acts as a great foil to both Sonic and Robotnik with his earnestness and forthrightness, which both makes him a meaningfully difficult obstacle for Sonic to conquer and a plausible stooge for Robotnik to manipulate toward his own ends without either one just rendering him a total clown. Despite my earlier complaints, Tails too works at fleshing Sonic’s character out by being a genuine peer to him, someone Sonic can relate to on his own level, and perhaps even more importantly by being someone Sonic feels obligated to protect. That last point is especially significant; the first movie was mostly about Sonic trying to keep himself out of trouble with others coming to his rescue, but here the emotional and thematic arc of the film centers on Sonic trying to be the Protector to those he cares about most. The way that initially starts with his belief that he needs to find an Epic Quest with which to prove himself but ends with his recognizing that it isn’t just about him honestly works far better than I would’ve expected; it’s not exactly the freshest storyline, but the movie commits to it sincerely enough, with enough emotionally authentic moments (again, especially when it comes to how Sonic’s affection for Tails develops and then drives him) to make it resonate. And pushing all of that over the edge is the movie’s action sequences. I will say that another problem from the first film that the sequel carries over is a certain weakness for compositing its animated characters into shots; it’s mostly fine when they’re primarily interacting with each other, but there are several instances where they interact with real-world objects that just look and feel notably poor. But this time around, a lot more of the movie is almost entirely animated than isn’t, so it never becomes that distracting a problem, and moreover the various action set-pieces here feel a lot more energetic and inventive than the original. I give a lot of credit for that to Tyson Hesse, for the record, who returns here in a major creative role as Storyboard Supervisor, and his influence on things is very keenly felt all throughout, especially during the movie’s climax, which handily serves as the big highlight of the whole thing with its delightful mix of Epic Action, Charming Personality, and Satisfying Pay-Offs.

Look, if you’re not already a big “Sonic” fan, I don’t imagine this movie is going to do much for you; I enjoyed it myself, but it’s not especially hard for me to recognize its limitations. Still and all, though, rounded out as it is by some very well-picked fan-friendly references, a sense of humor that works more often than it doesn’t (well, outside of that truly bizarre tangent in Act 2), and a brighter more energized overall spirit, as a long-time “Sonic” fan this definitely feels a lot more like the movie I would want out of this series. Which probably slants my opinions in a fairly biased way, but so be it; there’s only so far one can fight against one’s self in the name of objectivity, and in this case? Yeah, this movie gave me a lot more of what I wanted, and I’m really glad for that.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog 2 #sonic the hedgehog: the movie #review #ericthemason #My writing

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spacewizardtrek · 4 years ago

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WARNING: This post will ruin you. Like Medusa; look at your peril.

But here is is. It’s the one you’ve all been waiting for.

Kirk bod appreciation #7: The RIDICULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL FACE. A highly technical and academic review.

This is a rather nebulous one. And not, on the face of it (pardon the pun) very philosophical, as it’s essentially about Kirk being stupidly pretty. This post probably will (it will) descend into just screaming and sobbing, but there will be, I promise, *some* meaningful insight into the meaning of ‘beauty’ and textual analysis of its role herein.

Beauty is subjective. But look at him. It’s not just being aesthetic, but it’s the *way* he’s aesthetic. Here I might repeat myself a bit, but stay with me. I may have mentioned before once hearing him described as ‘beautiful in the way women are often described as beautiful’. He is PRETTY. He is indeed often conveyed in the way the women stereotypically (not necessarily rightly) are on screen: perfect, smooth skin; soft, big eyes; luscious lips (his body is sensually curvaceous and furthermore it’s emphasised). He’s not androgynous though. He’s masculine. And yet I still sense what was meant in describing him as ‘beautiful in the way women are often described as beautiful’. He is a rather uncommon form of gender fuckery. He is a form of stereotype-subversion not commonly acknowledged. He seems to be everything at once, ALL THE GENDER; combines whichever traits he desires from those categories, and yet is undeniably a man and masculine whatever the ingredients. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE, one might wonder. The fact of the matter is, that it IS. And it teaches us something.

The FUCK. nO. You are not allowed to be that pretty, and you are NOT allowed to look at her like that. We’re trying to have a SENSIBLE DISCUSSION here.

Sorry, that was a non-sequitur / nothing to do with what we learn by Kirk’s embodiment; I was just ambushed by my own gif. Only the control of a Vulcan. ONLY that could possibly withstand this onslaught. And even that won’t hold up forever AS WE WELL KNOW

God.

This is going well, as you can tell.

OK. So, it’s claimed he has Eyes and Stupidly Long Weakness-Inducing Eyelashes. You know, from all that fanfic that goes on about ‘big, sparkling eyes’ and him fanning his ‘long, copper eyelashes’. I mean, yeah right, tropey mc tropeface -

IT’S TRUE. HE IS LITERALLY AN ANIME PRINCESS.

There are some moments where he just BLINKS and, how to describe it...how does a BLINK have that effect. It’s NOT ALLOWED.

...I’m sorry. It IS allowed. All of it. I am not shaming you your beauty. Never change, Jim. Never.

OK. I’m ok. 3 pics down, we can get through this -

Oh you are joking. Stop.

I don’t understand how anyone can be so beautiful. Life is a lie. Reality is fake -

- you did NOT just turn your big anime eyes on Spock. You do know this is why he ran away to PURGE ALL HIS EMOTIONS?

And for that matter, you know when Kirk looks his most beautiful? Literally WHEN HE’S LOOKING AT SPOCK. Spock talks some bollocks and Kirk just sparkles like a fucking angel:

Unbelievable. But utterly undeniable.

Sigh. Moving on.

Oh - someone once suggested I talk about The Lips. Lips are so wonderful aren’t they. So many wonderful things they can do.

And Kirk’s. They’re there in every picture: perfect, rosy, soft and madness-inducing. My advice is just...don’t think about them. But since I’ve been asked to draw attention to them, well, you’ve just sealed your fate. Scroll down at your peril.

I WARNED YOU.

I am pulling NO punches.

I’ve seen this great meme going around:

Excuse me though....CUTE?

That’s the understatement of the 23rd century.

Try impossibly beautiful, mind and body: heart of solid gold, soul deep in love with you. Those eyes and all their passion burned into your memories a thousand times over, along with - maybe, suggestibly, idk I’m extrapolating from all the goddamn tension - even the one unforgettable time he laid between lily-white sheets and gave himself to you; every gift of the mind, body and soul - and your ostensibly-forced Vulcan conditioning, that completely ignored how incompatible one part of you was with it, caused so much dissonance that you thought the only possible course of action for you both to survive was to BREAK UP, tear yourself from this beauty and love and sweetness to PURGE ALL EMOTIONS because nothing, nothing equipped you for this; you were set up specifically to fail, and fail hard in the face of transcendental love and beauty by those who rejected such things and didn’t understand you and could never imagine this for you and who instead of helping your beautiful neurodivergent brain flourish taught you to repress and caused you pain and shame and Gol was so hard and Kirk was so sad, so very sad and depressed and hurt and yet he couldn’t stop loving you with a bond so strong he called to you across the stars and Gol was all for naught yet you still didn’t know how to live like this, it was torture, torture until the mind meld with the living machine flashed your BIOS and you knew, love.exe was suddenly running with no errors and he came after you and held you and you held hands and, and -

*sobbing*

just...give me a moment

YOU WONDER WHAT THE SUBTEXT (FRIKKIN’ MAIN TEXT) OF STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE WAS ALL ABOUT???

The pain?? The angst?? The two logical entities seeking contact, love, THIS SIMPLE FEELING? That fucking moment when spock walks on the bridge and the only way he can control himself is to be SUPER Vulcan, while his love gazes at him with those EYES, fucking huge and glittering and hurt and loving?? Is it so much a mystery what memories these two are carrying, what’s behind the searing tension???????

Love him. Love him Spock. Take him in your arms and love him. He’s for you. All for you. Fucking hell guys. The fuck. This movie.

ok.

ok I can do this

CAN U NOT

those damn eyes I swear

It’s obviously not all just superficial physical beauty. What IS beauty? Narratively we do sometimes find this ‘prettiness’ enhanced and emphasized like the old vaseline lens to set the tone of a scene (he’s vulnerable and delicate, or someone’s indeed in love with him so we see their ‘lens’ on him); but it is somewhat intangible and nebulous and changeable. I don’t think aesthetic beauty, if one deems it so, on its own, would be enough for the likes of Spock (indeed, no woman could charm him thusly); it's about something deeper. It’s about who he is. Who he is inside: the beautiful AND the imperfect. How his good and bad - how his ‘all’ - chimes with Spock’s 'all’. The Enemy Within deals with this, and shows how Spock loves all of Kirk, wants him complete, with both his light and shadow. The beauty of all of us is this totality and variance, not one intangible quality.

I’ll bet Spock’s parents knew immediately. Can you imagine Sarek trying to be a total bitch over Kirk, having heard the rumours and just wanting to have one more thing to reject Spock over, immediately projecting onto Kirk as some blow-up pretty-boy and how Incredibly More Disappointing My Son Is for being Obviously In Love With Stupid Illogical Human Doll Face Bubble Butt Bimbo Captain, and Amanda’s like, stfu, let me remind you Kirk is actually a Fucking Amazing Highly Decorated Starship Captain who Saves Your Life and don’t you DARE resent him just because he’s got tits/ass/tum/lips that won’t quit and is obviously the freakin’ sun Spock orbits. Mr ‘I married a human but that was special because it was logical’ or some bullshit. How is Kirk an illogical choice? I mean literally, Spock is a Science Genius™ on the federation’s FLAGSHIP whose well-matched Genius Captain™ understands him, accepts him, brings the best out of him, helps him fulfil his whole potential and is in love with him in the deepest and purest way and will be his bonded soulmate for ALL OF TIME and that fucking sour-faced bih at the start of that ep, ffs.

Of course Amanda stays in touch with Kirk, adores the fuck out of him, sends him old Vulcan lit on t’hy’la bonds (yes sarek, a T’HY’LA bond, so revered freakin’ poets write about it) etc because frankly her son could do FAR FUCKING WORSE.

FAR. FUCKING. WORSE.

Don’t...just don’t slip the bod into the equation, the face is enough for one post. We’re all in therapy for this already, let’s not relapse.

Oh, what’s the use. I’m gonna die. This is it. This is like the Monty Python joke that is so funny it kills you. This man is lethal. I need to stop this thread and purge all my emotions

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That’s it. I’m dead. You’re dead. We’re all dead.

I hope, however, seeing this post was worth it. See you at Gol everyone.

The Forbidden Texts, DO NOT READ:

Kirk bod appreciation #6: The Curves. The Front. The...chest. AND THE AMAZING GREEN WRAP

Kirk bod appreciation #5: The Paws

Kirk bod appreciation #4: The Curves. The Back. Poetry in motion.

Kirk bod appreciation #3: Season 3 (Part 1)

Kirk bod appreciation #2b: The Gluteus Maximus

Kirk bod appreciation #2a: The Gluteus Maximus

Kirk bod appreciation #1: The Tum

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ladyblogger-margie · 3 years ago

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After Your Team Loses

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader (The Mentalist)*

Summary: After F!Reader’s team loses, she contemplates her relationship with Marcus whose not as big of a hockey fan as she, and then things get spicy.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY mention of age gap, smut (oral F!Receiving, unprotected sex, creampie)

Word Count: 1643

a/n: Please pity me, I’m a Leafs fan and I wrote this to console myself after their loss. I did keep the team in the story unnamed so it could be any team knocked out of the playoffs at any time as it’s not year or season specific really.

MY MASTERLIST

You turned the TV off quickly when the after-game interviews started, not wanting to indulge in the pain of listening to the other team gloat and celebrate the overtime victory that knocked your team out of the playoffs yet again. You had promised yourself that you would have no expectations this year, you wanted to protect your heart from another disappointment.

But saying you wouldn’t be bothered was much different than actually being okay with another let down. Despite your best efforts, you were completely and utterly devastated once again. You downed the rest of your now warm beer and sighed sadly.

“There’s always next year,” Marcus said softly, pulling you into his side on the couch.

“You said that last year too,” you lamented, frustration seeping into your voice.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he said with a furrowed brow.

You had done your darndest to make Marcus Pike a hockey fan, and while you knew he’d rather be watching a classic movie, he never missed a game you wanted to watch.

Marcus was blindingly supportive and you felt so guilty for thinking it, but you wished he understood your passion for the game and shared it with you. You wished he didn’t have to work so hard to care about the thing that had defined much of your life.

“I think I might just go to bed,” you said, pulling yourself up from the couch.

“I could come with you,” he offered, standing next to you.

“It’s fine, you said you had work to do after the game so you take care of that and join me later,” you said, kissing him quickly on the cheek, dismissing him.

You took yourself through your nightly routine, your body going through the motions while your brain was in overdrive contemplating your entire relationship and your life in general. The wildly different ways you two had reacted to that loss highlighted just how unexpected your relationship with him was.

Your friends and family were surprised when they met him. While obviously they were charmed by him and objectively thought he was a great guy, they had shared with you their surprise that he turned out to be the one for you.

“He’s not who I pictured for you, is all,” your mother said after meeting him, explaining her surprise when you explained how much you cared for him.

But was caring for him enough? Shouldn’t you two have more shared life experiences and passions? Questions like these plagued your mind at the most random of times and ate at you tonight as you reflected on his lack of hockey passion.

You looked around and sighed. You should have gone home to your own place tonight where your mind would be less overwhelmed by Marcus so you could be more objective in your thought process. It was hard to remain neutral on the relationship while staring at his aftershave on the counter next to your moisturizer.

Marcus is older than you, more established and it’s most obvious when it comes to your apartments. Yours was full of second hand furniture where his was curated and deliberately decorated. It was dripping in his personality, where you were still finding your way.

But then you looked back at your moisturizer on the counter and it made you smile. Yes this place was all Marcus, but he had made room for you and your things here effortlessly in small and big ways.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and felt embarrassed by your doubt, but empowered by your sudden resolve. Questioning your relationship isn’t a bad thing, it gives you an opportunity to check in with yourself and your needs which is very healthy. You had come to the conclusion that effort was worth more than random shared likes. The effort you two put into making each other happy would outlast any fad or hobby and would make the perfect foundation for a life together. And frankly, you never had to make an effort to love him, that came naturally.

You wandered back to where Marcus was working and he looked up with a soft smile and eyes full of love.

“Hey, honey,” he whispered, reaching out to you.

“I’m sorry I’m in a mood,” you said, letting him pull you on to his lap.

“Hockey matters to you, your team matters to you, it’s okay to let it affect your emotions,” he said sympathetically and he kissed your forehead.

You closed your eyes, feeling the scratch of his moustache against your forehead as you inhaled the scent of him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and settled into him.

“Let’s move in together,” you whispered.

He lifted his hands to your cheeks and looked at you deep in your eyes.

“Are you serious?” he asked, breathless and smiling.

“Absolutely. I want to build a life together,” you said.

“We can pack your stuff up this weekend and bring it over,” he said after he kissed you deeply.

You pulled back, “You don’t want to move into my place?”

He stuttered a moment until you broke into laughter, “I’m obviously kidding, my place sucks. I want to live here.”

He smiled and kissed you again.

“I want to put up my team banner somewhere though,” you said, biting your lip, “It’s super tacky and doesn’t match your aesthetic at all, but I want it.”

He smiled at you fondly, “Of course, this is going to be our place so we can create our own aesthetic.”

You pulled him to stand up as you kissed him and wrapped your arms around his neck, dragging him towards the bedroom with his hands tightly gripped to your waist. You kept backing up until the back of your legs hit the bed.

You pulled his shirt up over his head and ran your fingers over his chest and the slight pouch of his belly you worshipped whenever he gave you the chance. He used to be self-conscious about it, but you’ve done all you can to correct him of that insecurity.

He didn’t give you the chance tonight, too excited, too eager to wait. He ripped your jersey off your head and tossed it aside for the last time this season. Then his hands were pawing your breasts over your bra as he worked his teeth across your neck. He made quick work of stripping your bra off to drop his mouth to your breasts and sucked a small hickey just under your nipple.

He pushed you to your back on the bed and pulled on your leggings to reveal your panties, soaked through already with your arousal. He groaned at the sight and you arched your back against the soft bed in anticipation.

Normally Marcus was patient, gentle, but tonight he was enthusiastic and less controlled than usual. He didn’t take his time removing your panties, instead he just shoved them to the side and after you nodded eagerly, he plunged headfirst into your dripping cunt.

He pushed his nose through your slick folds to nudge against your clit as he tasted your entrance with his tongue. He gripped your thighs as he did and you closed your eyes, trying to catch your breath. He quickly used his mouth to build a heat deep in your core.

Then he slipped two fingers gently, but purposefully inside you, stroking the tender spot that had you seeing stars. Your hands reached down to entangle them in his hair and grip chunks of it tightly as you felt yourself reaching your peak.

“I’m going to cum,” you breathed moments before your orgasm crashed down on you.

Some guys you had been with would speed up or change position when you said that which frustrated you to no end. Not Marcus Pike though. Marcus Pike was consistent and thorough in all things. His pace remained steady to push you through your orgasm and he didn’t relent until you were a shivering, quivering mess beneath him.

He lifted his head from between your legs with your slick stuck to his moustache. He was smiling broadly at you as he finally removed your now fully ruined panties. You smiled back and reached for him, pulling him in for a kiss. You struggled to pull his pants off while deepening the kiss, but he didn’t laugh at you. He just smiled, his lips against yours, as he helped you get him naked and lined up between your legs.

“I love you,” he whispered against your lips with intoxicating breath.

“I love you too,” you replied and lined him up at your still pulsating pussy.

He pushed into you slowly, growing you accustomed to his member as you gripped his shoulders tightly and threw your head back with a moan. He filled you up completely and it never failed to send tingles through your entire body.

He picked up his pace and moved his thumb to your clit. He pounded into you, making your tits bounce, in time with the pattern on your already sensitive clit. You locked your eyes on his knowing how much he liked to see your eyes when he came. It took a lot of willpower not to close your eyes in bliss as he pulled a second orgasm through your body.

He came deep inside you, spilling himself in you, leaking out your entrance with a satisfying quelch as he pumped a couple extra times through his shuddering release. He collapsed on top of you to catch his breath. You kissed his forehead and ran your fingers through his soft and now disheveled hair.

You were so content, so satisfied you temporarily forgot about your team’s devastating loss. Instead your thoughts were wrapped up in your relationship with the man you loved, and the one who’d you be living with very, very soon.

Tags: @autumnleaves1991-blog

#marcus pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x F!Reader #hockey #Toronto Maple Leafs #the mentalist #pedro pascal #fan fiction

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thepalestrose · 3 years ago

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A Year and a Day of Incorrect Quotes

Today marks one year and one day since my first incorrect quote post, which effectively marked my entrance into the FNDM.

I'm grateful for everyone who's come to my blog and enjoyed the stuff I post. I love it here on tumblr, and it really is one of those places I wished I had discovered sooner.

Rambling self-reflection regarding my experience with RWBY below, a candid look at how and why it's impacted my life, and my best attempt at explaining why it means so much to me. Consider yourself warned.

I started this blog cause I wanted to get involved in the FNDM, to give something back to the show that has given me so much. Before watching RWBY I had never touched tumblr, or fandoms, or fanfiction or anything even remotely similar.

Now, I find myself feeling more at home here in the RWBY FNDM then anywhere else, I write RWBY fanfiction (insert shameless plug for my pollination endgame time-travel fix-it where the brother gods each send back one character and they have to fix everything while the world around them slowly becomes different then the one they remember - One Never Steps Foot In The Same River Twice), and I run this blog. It's kind of crazy, actually. Crazy, most of all, because if you had told me about any of it just a couple years ago, I wouldn't have believed you. More than that, if you had explained what RWBY was about, I probably wouldn't have even wanted to watch it.

I found RWBY through youtube recommending volume 1 as a "free movie with ads" (lol nice try but adblock exists) back in December 2020, while volume 8 was airing. I knew nothing about the show or RT, and just clicked it cause it was the end of the workday and I wanted something to unwind with. I'd seen anime before, but hadn't watched any in a while.

I laughed at the silly jokes, enjoyed the charm that the early animation had, and generally didn't think much about what I was watching. Volume 1 ended, and I figured, what the heck, I'll watch volume 2 tomorrow. So I did.

I distinctly remember Oobleck questioning the girls during their mission to Mountain Glenn being the first time I really stopped and realized this show had potential. Still, I laughed at the jokes and enjoyed the 2nd volume. When the breach happened, I kinda wondered if this was the type of show that wouldn't have "consequences."

Then volume 3 came.

Unfortunately I was spoiled regarding Pyrrha's fate by youtube comments, but Ruby's eyes still took me completely by surprise. The end of volume 3 was the point at which I knew I'd finish the series. I just had to know what happened next.

Volumes 4-8 are, frankly, a bit of a daze for me. I obsessively watched the show. I ended up going from starting the show to finishing up to where volume 8 had aired in like.. 5 weekdays (on top of working full time).

Usually when I watch something, I tend to be quite expressive. I laugh at its jokes (no matter how bad they are), I make jokes (even if they can't hear me), I poke fun at it, and all around just enjoy it. Not with RWBY. I progressively got quieter and quieter until I was watching the show in complete silence, utterly motionless as I stared at the screen with an intensity I hadn't known I could possess.

It was... an extremely unsettling experience. It was while watching volume 6 that it finally hit me that this wasn't going to go on forever. Eventually I would hit the end. The thought filled me with inexplicable dread. A day later, I did hit the end.

I remember just sitting there, so unsure of what had just happened. I already knew that this show was different, but I wasn't even close to being able to say why. It was an inexplicable feeling that would last for months. So, I did the only thing I could think of, and went right back to watching the first episode of volume 1 again.

Before I get into why RWBY connected with me so much, I have to take a step back. I build my identity around the media I consume. I can pretty accurately track my personality development from high school through college through six different works of media. Each taught me something essential about myself and how I view the world, whether it was how to love myself, or how I am absolutely terrible at handling grief, or how I believed that everyone is inherently selfish (and that's not a bad thing). Little did I realize that RWBY had just become the seventh work that would in time become more important than all the rest combined.

I'm confident that in 10 years, I will look back at the day that I watched RWBY as one of, if not the most, important day of my life. RWBY has touched every facet of my identity and become the dominant thread of my entire life. As I write this, I sit here listening to the RWBY volume 8 soundtrack, wearing a Team RWBY shirt, with a RWBY volume 6 poster on my wall, typing on my RWBY blog, looking at my 2nd monitor which has a RWBY background, with my youtube recommendations almost entirely RWBY (that, or obscure history videos), with several open tabs for RWBY fanfiction, the RWBY wiki, the RWBY page on the shipping wiki (I didn't even know shipping existed before watching RWBY), and of course RWBY itself on the RT website (because I am in a continual state of rewatching RWBY and started volume 2 again today).

And that's just what is within arm's reach.

Before watching RWBY, I couldn't have told you what it means to be non-binary, now I am non-binary. Same with ace, and panromantic. RWBY fanfiction was instrumental in introducing me into that world (and is also where I learned what transgender meant). RWBY's affected my political views, my outlook on life, the ideals and core values that I hold dear. It's changed how I want to live my life and what I think is most important in it.

This is by no means a complete list. A complete list would be twice the length of this entire post.

So, how on earth did it do all that???

For months I struggled with that question. I knew that RWBY was different, that it was important, but I couldn't even begin to put any words to why that was. I didn't have any answer to it. Now, I realize there are lots of answers.

I remember discussing the show a week after I watched it with my best friend. She asked what I liked about it, and all I could come up with is "I don't know." Was it the writing? No, the writing was just okay, I said (I was a fool, the writing is fucking PHENOMINAL and I was just too awestruck to see it yet). Was it this, was it that? No, no and no.

Eventually I was struck by (my first) revelation, but to explain why it was so revolutionary, I have to give more history.

People say that kids are pure and kind and if we could all just be like kids, the world would be a better place. That's bullshit. Tell me where the kindness is in telling an eight year old that everyone would throw a party the day I died. Or actively telling me that they wished I would die. Or forming the "I hate ThePalestRose club." Or chasing me around the playground throwing water bottles at me. Suffice to say, I wasn't well liked.

Eventually, I annoyed my way into joining a group of friends, and we spent the next nine years of school together, our own little clique. I learned to ignore those who didn't want me around them, and retreated into myself. You weren't a target if you didn't cry. So I didn't cry.

Then college rolled around. Most of our little group went to a local school all together, but I got into a good tech school that was far away. So, I went off. I met a couple of amazing people (my best friend!) there, and after the first semester I came home and hung out with my high school friends, nothing amiss. I remember we all watched Downfall on the last day of our breaks, before heading back to school. It would've been a pleasant memory if it wasn't the last one I had with any of them.

Come that first spring break, I come home expecting us to all get together, only to find out that none of them will speak to me. I remember finding out from my parents in the back of the car when we were driving home that something had happened. They knew before me, because our families had all been friends, and they wouldn't talk to them either.

And that was just the thing, it was just something. I have no idea what, but the only friends I had ever made in 12 years of mandatory schooling, some of which I had known for a majority of my life, just collectively stopped speaking to me without a word.

To say I was crushed would be an understatement. To say I was depressed would be more accurate. I contemplated the pros and cons of suicide daily. My ability to socialize with others, which had always been pretty poor, was completely shot. To this day, I really haven't ever made any new friends since this happened 5 years ago. My ability to form bonds of friendship just-- snapped.

I don't think I cried then either.

I had to know, why? Why did they abandon me? What did I do to them?? What did I do wrong??

Sleep was no respite, as I started to have persistent nightmares about the entire thing. They ranged from me begging for forgiveness for some unknown crime, to watching myself waste away in isolation forever, to teary-eyed reunions that I knew would never happen. I tried everything I could think of to stop them, but nothing ever did.

So, then you have to imagine my surprise when, two months after watching RWBY, I had an epiphany. I hadn't had a single nightmare since I watched the show. That might not sound like much, but the revelation hit me like a ton of bricks.

It was the fourth rewatch before I realized that Yang's story, especially her volume 4 story, had connected with me deeply. She had been abandoned by everyone and yet still found the strength to come out the other side whole. It was... inspiring. Which lead to my second revelation, that I looked up to these characters.

That doesn't sound like much of a revelation, but it really was to me. I don't look up to anyone. I considered myself cynical and jaded, and I really didn't have admiration for anyone. To find myself suddenly looking up to these characters-- these anime girls no less-- was shocking.

Then the volume 8 finale happened. I couldn't even listen to the ending credits song at first. I was just so shocked and numb. Eventually, my hunger for every last RWBY detail overrode my shock and I listened to it. I think that was the moment that everything really broke. I bawled my eyes out and spent most of that Saturday crying, unable to hold it all in any longer.

It was the start of a transformative process that saw me rearrange my entire identity, to truly heal from what had happened, and let me move forward. I tried to make a conscious choice to let myself be more emotionally open. I let myself feel things that I had been repressing for as long as I could remember. I changed who I was to a point where I feel like I'm entirely unrecognizable to my past self, and I love it.

I've never been happier, and I really do think that RWBY enabled me to make that transformation, and I don't think it would've been possible without it. There's still lots of problems, and my life's always going to be a work in progress. I still don't really know how to make friends, but I don't feel terrified of social rejection when I talk to strangers now.

This is just one tiny portion of all I could talk about with this show. Everywhere I turn to in it, it feels like it was written for me. Like someone understood me to an impossible degree, and wrote it with me in mind. It's crazy to think that anything like that could ever exist, much less that I've had the good fortune to watch it.

So what am I to make of all this? Well, this blog exists to try and give back just a tiny bit of what the show has given me. My fanfics are meant to be my love letter to the show. I'm looking into getting into other forms of content creation, because I just want to do as much as possible.

I don't think all of these realizations are the end for me. No, I think I'm still in the beginning of my RWBY journey. Maybe when the show ends, I'll consider that the end of the beginning. But I'm pretty confident that as long as I'm still breathing, I'll be wanting to consume and create RWBY content.

I still don't think I have a full answer for why RWBY means so much to me. Just today, driving home, I realized that it was what taught me that you have to choose happiness (or at least, choose not to be unhappy). These words are a poor expression, but they're the best I can do right now.

Maybe it's unhealthy to have so much of my identity wrapped up in this single all-encompassing idea. But as someone who felt no reason to live for so long, I'll take that risk to be able to feel the weight of these emotions for just one more day.

So that brings me to the end. Why did I post this in the first place? I guess it's an exercise in vulnerability.

I don't talk about myself, I'm convinced myself no one cares. One of my bosses at work (a really kind old man who has been way too good to me) asked me recently about what I do for fun. It was the last day he would be there before undergoing open heart surgery, which he wasn't sure he would survive.

I was extremely cagey. It was almost physically painful to say anything. My anxiety was awful. I told him I wrote stuff, and he was kind enough to say he would like to read it some time. I doubt he really would want to read RWBY fanfiction, but still.

He's still in the hospital, recovering, but in high spirits.

But the experience made me realize that vulnerability, like trust, is a risk, but it's a risk I need to take again.

#rwby #self reflection #thepalestthoughts #thank you for an amazing year #and i hope to be here again next year with another update #celebrating another year in the rwby fandom #there are a million little reasons and a million massive reasons i love this show #i could never hope to list them all but this is a little piece

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