#just felt the need to share

[sleepytr4sh]

I can't I just stayed up all night watching Mario Bros videos I feel like this image

[yes-im-youtube-kids]

I forgot to say that on my trip one of the camp counselors camp name was Wolverine. I swear he was queer my gaydar was fucking spazzing he just was and I could tell. And it was like. Woah. I had never met a queer adult in person, and the feeling I got even tho he never actually said he was, was just. Wow. Like—there are people out there, that exist, that I can visually see and speak to and they’re there, that are queer. We exist as adults. We grow up. That feeling—just wow. I know the majority of this site is queer teens and young adults but like. It’s so different to actually meet someone in person. Really seeing that they are real. You’re all real but like. I guess my adhd doesn’t let me believe something even if I know it, till I see it. It was just that feeling. To know that, hey, you have a future. You grow up. There are other people like you out there. That, yknow, exist. As fully grown people. The feeling of meeting a queer adult for the first time. Woah.

[somereaderinblue]

Yk tfw a detail you put into a work ends up having even more depth/symbolism than you intended? That's how I feel the longer I look at the epithet I gave Tesla in the Purple Hyacinth AU.

During the first stage of planning, my good friend Shadsie suggested "Ghost of the Sands" which alludes to her canon-fate/ghost appearance in Trimax. I ended up running with the ghost theme bcz 1) it sounded cool & 2) I liked how the allusion doubles as a reminder that tho this is the same character, she is NOT living the same story.

Then I began to build Tesla. I researched synonyms for ghost, purple & disaster and settled on Wraith, Violet & Calamity. Boom, just like that it happened again.

Wraith was an extra letter from the word 'wrath', reflecting the anger & ruthlessness Tesla is capable of. Violet is a shade of the colour she associates with love but it's one letter less from 'violent' which encompasses the world she lives in.

I had the persona, now I had to focus on the person. I like to think I've come a long way with her, esp since canon & fanfics can only give you so much to work with. When I talked abt her with other moots, she wasn't just a concept but a character. And it's through conversation that a perception of said character can change.

I made a joke with sapphofinch that involved PH!Tesla messing with someone, being an overall chaotic gremlin. Then I paused & realized that the 'supernatural' angle I gave Tesla rlly did suit her character a lot.

When we think supernatural, ghosts, monsters, curses & the usual horrors are what comes to mind. But if you look deeper, it also includes mischievous creatures, cunning spirits & other beings that can offer protection, healing, strength. All of which fits PH!Tesla to a T.

*smh* In this day & age where creativity is being put through the wringer no thanks to AI, I'm once again in awe of how human creativity, have it be from someone else or even my own, continues to surprise us in ways AI never could.

[silly-lil-scribbles]

man i love chou so much

[il-re-kaneki]

Still can't believe I've been on this hellsite for 12+ years, that's crazy.

[dozzlegramcracker]

A picture created by ai using others stolen art to combine and make the picture is not art.

if you generate ai art or are associated with it in any way, do not interact with me.

(Image is not mine, Source: Artstation)

[templeofshame]

[poematticdeer]

I just read some lines in a book so it felt like sharing..

"Expecting things to be bad is the best way to be pleasantly surprised when they're not."

Ironically, this is something too optimistic about.

[itneedmoreshit]

over half a bottle of wine deep and just. i have so much to give. and what i have to give is beautiful and wonderful and anyone would be lucky to have it. and if they don’t want it that’s their fucking problem. and if anyone out there is feeling like i am and feeling feelings for someone who doesn’t want them like just know anyone who doesn’t want your energy is not worthy of receiving it. ok??? like i am only just now realizing that my shit is great and it still hurts that other people don’t want to receive it but i’m only just learning that it doesn’t invalidate my value and i’m being so real that is hard to figure out but HUGE. you are exactly who you need to be and the people who are meant to be in your life are going to love what you’ve got. fuck everyone else.

[andthatisnotfake]

I've recently rediscovered a book I read when I was a teenager and re-read parts of it, crying nearly the whole time. 😭 Sadly, there's barely any fanfiction for it. That's partly because the people who now manage the books of this deceased author have said they didn't want fics of her books. However, I think it's mostly because this author was, after her death, revealed to be abusive, so I think some people avoid her books now (understandbly so, though IIRC, any funding from sales goes to abuse victims - still, less people know that and I understand not even wanting to read something she wrote in the first place). It also doesn't help that this book is not from her usual genre and not very well-known. Still, I love it so much and now it's all I can think about, so I might actually write something for it, if the renewed obsession persists (it's not like I care much about what the managers of her books said - or her, for that matter (she was abusive and she's dead)).

This was the first queer-centered book I read (not the first with queer characters, that was another book years before and, incidentally, also by her). I remember devouring it in 4 days (it's got 900 pages). I was 14 and I was in high school and I remember I started reading on a Thursday and sadly couldn't read much the first two days because of school, but literally spent the whole weekend reading. Then I made my mom read it. 😆 (She usually read the same stuff I did, partly to know what I was reading, partly because we genuinely tend to like the same kind of books). I have no idea what made me even remember it, but my copy is back home and I had to download a pdf (in English, since I was at it). And now I can't stop thinking about it. And I'm also kind of obsessed with queer people in the 40's/50's.

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a child I was struggling at school, and I was unhappy, so my parents started taking me to a therapist. I ended up telling this therapist that I wanted to be a girl. I hadn’t heard the term transgender yet, but I knew I wasn’t a boy.

This therapist told me that it was a fetish. It was my first time hearing the word fetish. She told me that wanting to be a girl was something bad that I should be ashamed of. I was told not to tell my parents because they would be disgusted, and that if anyone found out it could ruin my life.

I held onto that shame for a decade until my senior year of high school when a transgender student started going to my school. I never met her, but I saw her around, and heard people talk about her. This was a transwoman living her life openly and publicly. She was doing the very thing that I was told would ruin my life, but her life didn’t seem ruined. She had friends, and seemed happy. Happier than me.

A year later in October 2013 DC comics published Batgirl #19 by Gail Simone. In this issue Batgirl’s roommate Alysia Yeoh came out to batgirl as a transwoman. Batgirl was so loving and accepting in that moment. My favorite superhero didn’t see anything wrong with being transgender. I sat at my computer reading peoples reactions and reviews to this comic for hours. I sent the author an anonymous message on tumblr thanking her for helping me find the strength to love myself.

I still had a long way to go before I was able to come out, but these things helped me start to heal. This is why visibility and representation are so important. Seeing another trans person in real life, and seeing trans people in the media I was consuming helped me be less afraid, and helped me hate myself less. In october 2019 I started HRT at 25 years old. Nearly 5 years later I’m happier than ever, and I love life.

[neymiiie]

I love the class 2-F trio (someone has probably done this before)

[mccromy]

Hua Cheng and Quan Yizhen get hit by a de-aging curse that turns them into their 10 year old selves. Naturally, Xie Lian and Yin Yu take care of them while investigating how to reverse it. Unfortunately, Hong-er and Quan Yizhen take to the other like two stray cats forcefully shoved inside a small cage, hissing and spitting and yowling and growling and beating the shit out of the other on sight. Yin Yu looks away for one second and suddenly Yizhen is pouncing on Hong-er, punching the daylights out of him. Hong-er rips a chunk of hair out of Yizhen, both get bitten, blood gets spilled. Yin Yu is panicking while he drags a screaming Quan Yizhen away. Xie Lian is this close 🤏🏻 to throwing Quan Yizhen into He Xuan's lair.

They don't know what to do. Hong-er poured ink down Quan Yizhen's back, Quan Yizhen threw a live mouse at Hong-er's face, Hong-er locked Quan Yizhen inside a chest and, in retaliation, Quan Yizhen pissed all over Hong-er's Dianxia portraits. Hong-er had a meltdown in Xie Lian's arms and Yin Yu had a panic attack, which in turn made Quan Yizhen hide for eight hours of desperate search until Yin Yu thought to look under his own bed (he was there.)

"Why do you fight Quan Yizhen?" Asks Xie Lian, and Hong-er answers that Quan Yizhen started it.

Yin Yu asks Quan Yizhen why did he attack Hong-er, and Yizhen frowns and answers: "I don't like him" and refuses to elaborate.

They are so sweet otherwise. Hong-er brings every flower he finds to Xie Lian, hands anxiously twisting the hem of his clothes every time as if this time Dianxia won't like them. One time while cooking, Xie Lian glanced back and caught Hong-er praying to him and felt himself melt on the spot. Quan Yizhen tries to help Yin Yu with everything (and fails spectacularly), asking every two seconds if he did good, and smiling and wiggling every time Yin Yu tells him that yes, that was perfect Yizhen.

After a week of incidents, crying, screaming, broken vases and sleepless nights. Xie Lian, tired and desperate, brings them together to end this misery once and for all. He asks Quan Yizhen directly, and the boy doesn't answer, he asks again with a softer tone. Quan Yizhen frowns and kicks him on the shin, hard enough to make him stagger. Xie Lian is very impressed by that and doesn't see Hong-er in time to catch him before he attacks Quan Yizhen, clawing his face and screaming. Yizhen kicks and bites, thankfully forgetting all his martial training as they grapple on the floor. And while Xie Lian and Ruoye do their best to subdue them, Yin Yu stares at them as an horrible epiphany wacks him on the back of his head.

"Your highness," Yin Yu whispers, "that night, before Chengzu saw you, he panicked and tried to run away, so I picked him up... And he kicked me."

Xie Lian doesn't know whether to laugh or cry . "I take it Qi Ying saw it?"

Yin Yu nods miserably.

The next morning, Xie Lian coaxes Hong-er into apologizing to Yin Yu for kicking him, and Xie Lian explains Quan Yizhen Hong-er didn't mean it, he was just scared. Yin Yu, for his part, spent all night teaching Quan Yizhen a very long "I am sorry, your highness" speech, and makes him kowtow three times. Then he proceeds to do the same, both effectively groveling.

Xie Lian grimaces and interrupts the boy as he recites with a blank face and the enthusiasm of someone who's only doing this because his Shixiong asked.

"That's really too much..., there is no need,"

"I beg to differ, Your Highness," answers Yin Yu, still kneeling on the ground. He raises his head and glances at Hong-er.

Xie Lian really can't say anything to that.

Yin Yu nudges Yizhen, and the boy pulls out a golden bar from his sleeve and places it at Xie Lian's feet. "This Quan Yizhen uh.... Um... This Yizhen will... ah! This Yizhen swears to spend the rest of his days atoning for...! For his...?"

"Transgressions," whispers Yin Yu.

"Transgressions! And swears to keep others from laying their filth on His Highness' path, as this one once did. His Highness whims shall become this one's deeds. In penance, I place the West at your feet, Qi Ying's palace is at your service. And if this one's repentance cannot erase this one's grievous sins... Uhm... Give me a moment, I have a lot of rocks in here." Qua Yizhen rummages through his sleeve for a few seconds, and then triumphantly pulls out a dark box. "Found it! Um.. something something sins! In your hands I place the Waning Moon Officer's ashes-!"

"Yin Yu that's really not necessary!"

"It really is, your Highness," he says with a strained voice.

Quan Yizhen leaves the box on the floor, completely unaware of it's importance, and throws himself into Yin Yu's lap. "I did good, right? I only forgot one thing! Shixiong, Shixiong it came out right?"

Yin Yu sighs.

"Yes, Yizhen. You did well."

"That guy interrupted me in the end though, that was rude. Can we go?"

Yin Yu didn't know whether to laugh or cry or grab his shidi and find new employment under He Xuan.

Xie Lian shook his head, crouched and carefully took the box, placed it on Yin Yu's hands. He felt really fond of Yin Yu's earnestness, but truly, this was overkill (Yin Yu would beg to differ, and so would He Xuan if he was there, and so would Hua Cheng if he was 800 years older. As Hong-er though, he only agreed with his Highness because he didn't understand what the act meant. As it stood, he really wanted to push that other kid from a wall.)

Xie Lian waited until Yin Yu raised his head and said softly, yet firmly:

"Officer, I order you to guard this with utmost diligence. They belong to a dear friend of mine, who need not worry for his Shidi's wellbeing," Xie Lian smiled at Hong-er, who stopped glaring at the figures on the floor and smiled back. Not breaking eye contact with the boy, Xie Lian continued, enunciating each word clearly, "after all, said Shidi is also a dear friend, who always treated me with respect, and if something happened to him I'd be very, very sad."

Yin Yu stood up, holding Yizhen's hand in his and the box to his chest. He bowed, "This one apologizes for offending His Highness, this one knows his Highness to be kind and wise, and didn't mean to imply otherwise. This Waning Moon Officer shall do as his Highness commands,"

After that, the boys stop trying to kill the other on sight. And, after much coaxing and promises of candy and sparring sessions, they spend one peaceful hour interacting under the watchful gaze of the only people they cared about. The next day, they sat side to side. Quan Yizhen practicing kicks and Hong-er drawing, both tense in sullen silence. The day after that Quan Yizhen asks Hong-er to help him draw his Shixiong, and Hong-er accepts, both glance at the adults in the room for approval and smile giddily when they get it. The day after, Quan Yizhen teaches Hong-er how to throw a punch, and they mock fight until dinner time (which they eat separately,) . The day after that, the adults decide to leave them alone for exactly three minutes, they wait just outside the room, ear pressed to the door. At the minute mark, they hear the unfortunately familiar sound of two tiny boys doing their utmost best to brutally kill each other.

The day after that, the curse is broken.

Xie Lian takes Hua Cheng to Puqi shrine, desperate for some alone time with his husband. Though he misses Hong-er dearly, his husband's absence had been so painful that now he's drunk on giddy relief.

They work the fields, they make dinner together, and after they're done eating, Xie Lian asks what had been running through his mind.

"San Lang, you two were getting along so well, why did you start fighting again?"

Hua Cheng wrinkles his nose in a way that makes Xie Lian want to kiss him and says, "He didn't want to admit that Gege was better than Shixiong— I mean, Yin Yu. Ah Gege, don't make fun of your San Lang!" He whined.

Xie Lian did try to stop laughing, but not hard enough to accomplish it.

Once done, he wiped a tear and asked:

"Shixiong?"

Hua Cheng groaned.

"I didn't know what his name was! That animal kept talking about his Shixiong. Shixiong this, Shixiong that! so it stuck inside my head! I wanted to talk about his Highness this and that, but the little shit kept interrupting me!"

"Ahaha—"

There was a loud crash outside. Xie Lian jumped out of his seat, Hua Cheng's hand hovered above E-ming. Abruptly, The Martial God of the West barged into Puqi shrine.

Xie Lian relaxed and smiled, a greeting dying on his tongue as he was faced with a fulminanting glare coming from Quan Yizhen's usually stoic face.

Xie Lian sat back again, placed his hands on his knees and waited for the other god to speak.

Quan Yizhen huffed and bowed. Then, he slammed a gold bar on the table with such force the wood cracked. "You can't have him," He said, bowed again, and left.

Xie Lian was stumped. Silence reigned until Hua Cheng broke it by cackling. Wheezing, he fell off his chair.

"San Lang...? Do you know what that was about?"

Hua Cheng exhaled and smiled at his beloved. "Gege is so popular. I didn't know I had so much competition. Won't he tell me how many other ghosts have offered their ashes to him? Do I need to make Black Water a puddle for him to sleep in? Yin Yu may keep his room, but ah, Gege rejected my poor Waning Moon Officer, didn't he? How cruel, how sought after my God is."

Blood rushing to his cheeks, Xie Lian groaned and hid his face in his hands.

A moment later, Yin Yu's bashful voice spoke inside his head.

"I really didn't mean it like that, your Highness,"

Xie Lian made an embarrassed sound.

At least, he felt closer to laughing than to crying.

"I know."

"I apologize,"

"It's alright,"

"...May his Highness please ask Chengzu to stop calling me a homewrecker through my spiritual array?"

...

"Ah. I'm sorry, yes, of course."

[hanafubukki]

Lilia wondered if you knew what it meant to be loved by a fae. Did you truly?

To be loved by a fae meant to be worshipped.

To be loved beyond eternity.

To have lasting memories that would never fade.

To be found in all lifetimes until the end of eternity.

Silver and Sebek knew, having grown with faes and learning their culture.

Silver, even as a human, had learned and readily accepted it but he grew with such knowledge.

Sebek had grown knowing such from his mother and grandfather, even his father knew what it meant to be loved by a fae and willingly accepted it.

Lilia watched as you dozed on Malleus’ lap, the prince stroking your hair with a loving gaze upon you.

You, who were loved and cherished by him and Malleus, two powerful faes who made nations tremble at their power.

Lilia knelt by your side, kissing your forehead. His own blessing mixing with Malleus’s, marking you theirs.

Lilia knew that in time you would realize what it meant to be loved by them, maybe you already had.

After all, you loved so gently yet passionately. You loved with your entire self. It was only proper for that love to be returned just as intensely.

He knew you would never come to danger, not with them protecting you: the Dragon and the General of Briar Valley.

You were also protected by the Knights of the Future King of Briar Valley, both of whom considered you family.

You were loved and cherished, and will continue to be so by all you have come to know and will know.

And of course, especially by them.

Tagging @masquerade-of-misery my fellow comrade of this ot3 🫶💚

[nipuni]

Photos at Madrid's Victory ball! 💃

We attended our first ball! It was such a dreamlike experience!! It was also our first time doing Regency reenactment so it was a challenge. We haphazardly put together some looks, had a great time learning more about the fashion and the dances and met a bunch of lovely people from all over the world. The palace was stunning, the live band was wonderful and the food delicious, it was an unforgettable night 🥰