#just fed up with the treatment that I’ve seen going around

[wroteclassicaly]

WE are ALL equal writers. This hierarchy idolizing crap is what drives decent writers from fandoms. The shit that I’ve seen and experienced in this fandom is heartbreaking, especially when you consider that we are ALL in the same boat and SHOULD be SUPPORTING each other, like…

[lcriedlastnight]

Enemies to lovers

Lando locking reader and Oscar in a room because he can’t stand them and their attitude towards each other anymore. So he decides to lock them in a room so that they can confess their true feelings for each other

this is one of the best tropes ever. tysm anon, mwah!

tw: fem!reader, swears, idk lmk if you want me to add anything else.

w/c: 1.1k

lando had had enough. this was getting ridiculous now. you have been friends with lando since before he started in f1 and he’s been friends with oscar since his rookie year, maybe not as long as the two of you but he spends almost double the time he spends with you, with oscar and doing what he loves.

you despise the way oscar thinks that he can just come along with his pretty brown eyes and steal your best friend from you. no. not happening. not today, not ever.

oscar feels the same way about you too. the way you walk around like you own the place, even though you don’t even race. it frustrates him that everyone in the mclaren garage treats you like someone important, when all you are is lando’s friend. he was jealous. he wanted that treatment from them.

lando was fed up with it, to put it bluntly. all he wanted was for the two of you to get along. two of the people he loves spending time with the most, getting along with each other for once.

the curly haired boy just wanted you to get along. one day without an argument. the last time you had been together lando has seriously thought he was going to have to hold you back from slapping him in the face. in all the years he has known you he had never, ever seen this side of you. it scared him a little.

lando had decided to go to charles for help. the papaya fireproof standing out in ferrari motor home.

“what are you doing here?” charles had asked, arms clutching his puppy, leo. the dog sleeping peacefully in his arms.

“i need help with what to do with all the fights happening in my own garage!” lando admits, frustrated with the constant fighting.

charles nods his head, agreeing to whatever lando wanted already.

“so i need your help with executing my plan.” lando smiles mischievously, charles laughing as lando explains his plan.

a week later, the plan was set in place and lando was just waiting for the right time to set it in motion. you were stood talking with lando about the upcoming race. it was charles’ job to lead oscar to lando’s drivers room and lando’s to lead you there. lando’s big wonderful idea you ask? trap you both in a room until you kiss and make up. he didn’t want to toot his own horn but it was one of the best ideas he thinks he has ever had.

“shit, come with my to my drivers room, i’ve left my phone in my room.” lando says, his head twitching in the direction of said room. you give him a blank look. “you are literally holding your phone.” you deadpan.

“just come with me please.” lando whines like a child, and it works. mostly because you couldn’t be arsed with his complaining if you said no. you follow behind slightly skeptical about what lando was up to. once you get to the room you see charles waiting outside. this confuses you more.

“hello!” charles greets you cheerily. you smile back but it is mostly confusion.

“hi. what are you doing in here?” you ask but before charles can even utter the start of an excuse lando interrupts. his hands quick to push gently on your shoulders to force you into the room.

“what are you doing?” you ask lando. you don’t notice oscar sitting on the couch when you both hear the doors lock and lando’s evil giggle.

“you guys are going to stay in there until you make up. or fight to the death. either way there will be a solution. i’ll be back in a few hours.” lando explains fingers tapping softly on the door as he leaves.

shouts of “lando! come back here!” and “you better be fucking joking!”s coming from the room. oscar gives up way before you do at trying to get the little shit to come back. you slide down the door, resting your head on your knees, still calling for lando. oscar sits back down on the couch.

“give up he’s not coming back.” oscar tells you, defeated. you roll your eyes.

“don’t tell me what to do.” you sass back. this causes silence to fall between the two of you. you are so stubborn and refuse to give in. even though lando knows you better than you know yourself and he knows it. that’s why he’s done this, he knows you really do like oscar. you had just put your walls up. plus you don’t like getting the wrong impressions about people and you had told lando the first time after you had met oscar “he’s a proper dick.” and now you think that he is not a dick and you don’t want to think that.

you two are in there for hours before oscar finally clears his throat, a signal he wants your attention. your head flitting up to meet his eyes.

“i just want you to know that i do actually like you. i was just jealous of how many people liked you when i first joined in my rookie season.” oscar explains. your frown at his words.

“people do like you oscar, you don’t have to worry about that.” you tell him, wanting him to be sure that he is liked mclaren. oscar nods his head, coming down to sit next to you, facing you. not too close but not too far either.

“i know. but that doesn't even matter to me now.” he tells you and you feel like he is about to bare his soul to you and you decide to listen, lando was right about your feelings anyway.

“it doesn’t?” you ask. “what does then?”

oscar smiles a weak smile but it has a glimmer of hope shining through it. his hands raise, fingers inching to touch you. the brown eyed boy finally gets what he wants and rests his big hands on your cheeks.

“you liking me.” oscar confesses. “i want you to like me back.” well, you were right about him baring his soul.

you give him a pretty smile as you say “okay, well maybe i like you too. but don’t tell anyone.”

oscar laughs and it’s like music to your ears. you want to play it over and over again for the rest of your life. that is when oscar leans forward and brushes his lips against yours, so light - he was teasing.

“you’ll get a proper kiss once you convince lando to let us out.” oscar murmurs against your lips. you are jumping up from you space against the door and start banging on the door.

[thefandomenchantress]

I’ve seen a lot of people condemning Hu for her actions towards Nico.

Which is understandable. At this point in the story, we’ve just recently started to see that her treatment of them tends to lean less towards friendly guidance and more towards babying them (Her cutting them off, and telling them that they’re just confused). In the trial, she admits that her main goal in life is to be useful. To be needed. And this undoubtedly carries over into her friendship with Nico.

It wouldn’t be completely honest to say that none of what Hu does, like her wanting to take care of others, relates to her need to be useful. While I think it’s a little unfair to say Hu doesn’t do what she does because she cares for others, and that she instead does it in order to strengthen her self-worth, I also think it’s unfair to ignore that part of her character.

But why am I saying all of this? I’m sure plenty of people have covered this topic before. Well, here’s the thing. I don’t really love how Hu is singled out in the what-she-does-isn’t-100%-selfless department.

I think it’s understandable why she’s so easily singled out, since the most recent episode made this part of her character extremely visible:

It’s abundantly clear that this is where Hu’s character arc is going. Whether she doubles down or reflects on her behavior is still up in the air.

But I think when people saw all that, they jumped to the conclusion that someone helping others partially for their own sake was a character flaw specific to Hu. I don’t agree, though.

We’re here to talk about Levi.

Ah, yes, the Ace-Nico parallels continue. But in all seriousness, I often see people debating over this part of Hu’s character. Hell, I even wrote a fic primarily about it. I haven’t, however, seen anyone talk about how Levi…Also kinda does this?

Levi wants to be a good person. He wants to be seen as a good person, he wants to be someone people can rely on for protection. The chapter is even named after his desire for this.

And maybe it’s just me…But I think that desire carries over to his friendship with Ace, just like how Hu’s desire to be useful carries over to her friendship with Nico.

Levi wants Ace to forgive him so badly. Why? Why? Honestly, it’s a question that kind of bothers me, because…

…This breakdown just doesn’t feel spontaneous to me. It feels like the entire chapter (and prologue) was leading up to it. Levi, in this moment of stress, is finally fed up with Ace, enough so that he even threatens his life.

As we’ve seen before, Levi doesn’t usually get this emotionally charged. The only way for this to happen is for these feelings of his to have been building up for a long time.

Which returns us to our question: If Levi doesn’t even seem to like Ace that much, then why does he want Ace to forgive him so badly?

It isn’t because he valued his and Ace’s friendship to an astronomical degree, (a friendship that only lasted less than a week), it’s because Ace not forgiving Levi makes Levi feel like a bad person.

He needs Ace to forgive him, to say that it’s okay and that he knows deep down Levi is a good person and didn’t mean it. Otherwise he’s stuck feeling guilty and like all the progress he’s been making towards his goal of being good is gone.

One could even say that feeling like a good person was Levi’s motivation to be friends with Ace in the first place, because let’s face it. I love Ace, I really do. And I don’t blame him for not wanting to forgive Levi immediately. If someone threatened my life like that, I’d probably need a week or maybe more to recover before wanting to forgive them. But not wanting to forgive Levi isn’t quite the equivalent to the way Ace treats Levi, even before Levi threatens him. Why would Levi genuinely want to spend so much time around a person who, in simple terms, treats him like shit?

The answer may be that being friends with Ace, someone who he thought needed protection, felt like the right thing to do. It felt like what a good person would do. They would put up with Ace’s antics in order to help him, even if it wasn’t much fun.

I’m very aware that this is an…Uncharitable look at Levi’s character. A pessimistic analysis on why he does what he does. But I believe that if we’re going to condemn Hu, maybe we should consider Levi’s actions as well.

I’m not trying to say that what Levi and Hu do is the same. But they are comparable. In the end, it feels like neither do what they do purely because they care and want to protect others. Hu wants to be useful, Levi wants to be good. And they act accordingly.

Hopefully all this makes sense. I just wanted to share a take I had on an issue I’ve seen floating around. If you want to share your thoughts on this I’d love to hear them. I’m curious to see what people think about this, since I haven’t seen people talk about it before.

[yamamasjumpercables]

For Tonight

Warnings: cussing & mentions of sex

a/n: for tonight has been on repeat recently so might as well make it into a fic

We've been done

Long before it all began

You and Matt have been inseparable ever since you guys met each other in middle school. You guys met in 6th period math. Matt made a joke about how he hated when math teachers would ask students to show their work. Then you said the math teachers should “show these nuts in their mouths”. Ever since then you guys have been attached to the hip. As you too got older, both of you started noticing each other in ways you two never imagined were possible. Compliments that went over both of your heads. Hugs that lasted for more than it should have. Lingering touches that had your breath hitch. Eye contact that turned into full blown admiration of each other’s features. Late night thoughts of how it would feel to be skin to skin, exploring the depths of each other’s bodies, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ear. Eventually Chris and Nick became so fed up by You and Matt’s inability to confess to each other so they took matters into their own hands, confessing you and Matt’s true feelings for one another. You and Matt have been dating for a year now. When you guys started dating it was amazing, the dates, the late night calls, the sex. Everything was perfect, until it wasn’t.

Still can't give it up

Lately there’s been consistent arguing. Either Matt caught an attitude with you for asking him why he hasn’t been answering your calls or You giving Matt the silent treatment because he was acting like an insensitive asshole. This has been going on for the past couple of months. Yet you two couldn’t stomach to break up. Tied around each other’s fingers, you both let this continue. Not caring how long you haven’t talked to each other or how mad you made each other everyday. You too were crazy about each other .

But leave before the morning comes

Even though it's what we want

Can't keep this up for long

You and Matt were currently arguing. You had asked Matt were he went and why he didn’t answer your calls, in which he answered with a “don’t worry about were I go” which then you responded with a “I have to worry you’re my boyfriend” then he responded with a scoff followed by a “I should’ve never spoke in that math class”. Both of you were shocked by what came out the blue eyed boy’s mouth. Matt instantly regretted what he said, despite the months of arguing. “Y/n, babe I didn’t mean it” Matt said with guilt, walking towards you. Tears started rolling down your face and your lip quivered. You walked up to Matt, slapping him in the face before walking back to your shared room passing both Nick and Chris on the way.

But I just, I just don't wanna leave you

Might just, might just throw away the reasons why

“What the fuck happened Matt” Nick said whisper yelling. “Yea I’ve never seen Y/n so upset well, more upset than usual” Chris said concerned. “We got in another argument, but I said some shit that I shouldn’t have said” Matt said guilty, sliding both his hands down his face. “Well what did you say” Chris asked. “I told her that I should’ve never spoke in math class” Matt said running his hand through his hair stressed.

We both can't lay here

And secret, secret, both gotta keep it

“Matt what the fuck is wrong with you, you actually suck for that shit” Nick said yelling. “Wow you are kind of an asshole for that shit I’m surprised she didn’t slap you”. Chris said disappointed. “She did” Matt said looking at Chris with glossy eyes. “Yea I would too for that shit, maybe even punch you in the face” Nick said in disbelief. “Or maybe the nuts” Chris added. “Ok ok I get it I screwed up” Matt says yelling, tears running down his face as he walks towards the sofa to sit. “No you didn’t just screw up, you actually just fucked up the relationship with the girl who loved you more than anything Matt” Nick says sternly. “Ok instead of pointing out the obvious Nick help me out what should I do” Matt asked stressfully, wiping the tears from his face. “Me and Chris can’t help you Matt, you fucked up on your own so you’re gonna fix it on your own.” Nick said sternly, pointing at Matt. Matt was totally fucked.

Honest, honest, that's just a game we know

We both can't play…

This will most likely be a series. So a tag list is definitely needed if you guys like this. Who wants to be added🏃🏾‍♀️??

[crinkled-emotions]

Day 1: Nights spent by the toilet, rubbing A's shoulder

We're finally here! I kinda felt like maybe I wouldn't get to this point but here we are, ready to publish day 1!

The way these are going to work is very similar to my other fics: they will vary in length, the warnings will be the first thing you see (where applicable) and then the fic itself will be under a readmore. We're starting with a bang, but there are a couple different types of fics coming with multiple ships and, of course, some Dagger time!

This particular fic was partially inspired by one I wrote last December - find it here!

Warnings for this fic: emeto

-

Rapping his knuckles on the bar table in front of Phoenix and Bob, Payback immediately had their attention.

“Bagman’s out the front pukin’, might want to go check on him.”

“Why not you?” Bob replied. Payback sent him a look and Bob sighed.

“Well it can’t be me either; I already lined up a game of pool with Fanboy and Rooster.”

With that, Bob got up and followed Payback into the crowd, leaving Phoenix on her lonesome. For such a big team, no one really minded having a moment to themselves. She glanced around the Hard Deck, taking in the rest of her team. Coyote was nowhere to be found which was odd; he was usually one of the first to suggest a team outing on a Saturday night, shortly followed by Hangman. Considering how much they fed off each other’s shithead energy, no one was really shocked that Penny had them thrown overboard at least once a month... maybe twice, if they were really leaning into their naughty adult children act (terrorising Rooster at the piano). She’d barely seen Hangman tonight, but a glance from Penny and Maverick told her they had information she could use. As she walked past she gently touched Rooster’s shoulder. She always did it when passing him- he did it too. They used it as a way to check in with each other more than anything.

Up at the bar, Penny offered Phoenix a bottle of water and a gentle smile.

“I saw Seresin looking a little green earlier; do you want Mav to come with you?”

“Hey!” Maverick protested, but the corner of his lips twitched upwards. Phoenix shook her head.

“I’ve known Seresin since before either of us were legally allowed to drink; we’re fine. If Bob asks tell him I’m taking Hangman home.”

“Sure thing.”

Penny walked off to serve an incoming customer, but Maverick paused for a moment.

“Are you sure, Tasha? I was only joking-“

“-it’s better that you don’t, he’ll crawl out of his skin,” Phoenix reassured, “it’s nothing personal.”

“I understand. We’re here if you need anything.”

Never had Phoenix met a CO like Maverick; though, to be fair, she wasn’t sure there was anyone like Maverick. Paternal but firm and with a quick temper. She’d been one of the only people allowed to know the full story between him and Bradley; it felt like a privilege and she continued to treat it as one.

-

“Hey; what’s going on? Did your drink get spiked?”

Natasha had seen Jake in a lot of compromising positions over the almost ten years of knowing each other; from her roommate’s bed in the academy to the stomach flu of ’09 that had taken out him, her and Bradley all in one swoop. It’s still a topic all of them refuse to talk about. Sitting in the dirt around the side of the Hard Deck, Phoenix barely blinked as she reached to help him up. Jake grimaced.

“Wait, don’t move me yet. I didn’t get spiked; I think it’s a cold at worst. Relax, Tasha.”

Another thing Phoenix learned very early on in their frenemyship; Hangman will understate everything going on in the hopes it gets him left alone until he’s ready to accept help (read: most likely requiring hospital treatment or, at the very least, a cleaner with a strong stomach... cooking dinner ended up requiring both once).

“Yeah, sure, and I haven’t done this for you before. Do you know where Coyote is?”

“He’s not here.”

“I know that; where is he specifically?”

In response, Jake just shrugged and Phoenix determined if she didn’t laugh, she’d probably smack him. Hefting an arm around her shoulder, she pulled him to stand. Immediately he snorted and Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Okay, man, out with it.”

“Have you ever thought of suing the county? Y’know, for putting the sidewalk too close to your ass- ow! Hey, I’m sick!”

That time, he did get smacked.

With his keys in hand, Natasha guided (read: dragged) Jake back to his truck. Climbing into the driver’s seat she sighed and reached for the handle to pull it forward; for someone who had just lost everything they’d eaten over the last 24 hours, Jake seemed to find this rather funny from the passenger seat.

“Fuck you, Seresin.”

That shut him up for the time being. They only had a short window to get him home before the nausea would take over and Phoenix wasn’t down for pulling over for him to hurl on the side of a street.

-

In the end they barely made it back to his place. Phoenix had barely pulled up before he threw himself out the passenger side to gag rather dramatically on to his driveway. She rounded the back of the truck to put a hand on his back, wincing at the warmth radiating off his body. Jake shivered, turning to look at Natasha.

“This sucks.”

She snorted.

“It does, even more when it’s not because you had tequila the night before. C’mon, you aren’t doing anything else but going to bed tonight.”

“No, wait; I don’t think I’m done.”

“You’re empty, dude. Anything further and you’re gonna tear your throat.”

Jake winced, sucking in a breath.

“Promise you’re not gonna laugh?”

“You know I can’t promise that.”

Jake might have laughed, but it was shortly followed by a grimace. Using her body weight like they’d taught her in basic, Natasha hauled him up to stand.

“Let’s make this quick,” Jake said. Natasha winced.

“Gotcha. Bedroom or bathroom?”

Jake stayed quiet. Natasha got the hint.

-

With Hangman curled up in the bathroom for the time being, Phoenix took the opportunity to take a quick inventory of the kitchen and medicine basket on top of his refrigerator. He had Tylenol but no Advil; everything in the refrigerator was either expired, meal prepped or not useful in this situation (read: a carton of milk). She huffed, glancing over her shoulder.

“Hey Bagman, you do know what a cheat day is right?”

No response. She couldn’t blame him.

At least he had a thermometer; she’d guesstimated he had a fever but confirmation would be a good start. Finally, she located bottled water in the mostly empty pantry and she grabbed a couple to put by the couch. After a couple minutes of searching she paused in her steps when she heard the retching start again. Phoenix cursed under her breath and jogged back to the bathroom. Doordashing those missing supplies could wait.

“Jake? You good?”

“Fine,” he groaned, “just nauseous.”

He was so past the point of nauseous. Tentatively, Phoenix took a seat on the bathroom floor by his side. Her hand hovered over his shoulders for a moment, eventually making contact with his shirt when his arms came up to brace himself over the toilet.

“You know what you need?” She started after a moment. Hangman turned to glance at her over his shoulder.

“A hug?”

“A toothbrush.”

Despite the fact that Hangman was miserable as fuck and Phoenix could feel her skin starting to crawl considering the stench of puke in the room, they both snorted.

-

For the first thirty seconds of being awake, Phoenix couldn’t remember where she was or why she wasn’t in her bed. Instinctively she went to glance over her shoulder just to make sure she didn’t have someone else in her bed, only to meet the back of the couch... wait. That wasn’t her couch. It was Hangman’s. She’d crashed there after finally managing to get him into bed, promising to listen out in case he needed help in the night. By the time she’d gotten him to bed he’d brushed his teeth, had a couple sips of water and downed Tylenol, and was ready to pass out until the cycle restarted.

Sure enough; it had indeed started.

Phoenix got up, heading through Hangman’s room and into his ensuite. Crouched over the toilet, Hangman looked like he was not having a good time between the sweating, shaking, and the... y’know, the retching probably didn’t help. The offer of comfort came a lot easier to Phoenix that time, kneeling by him to calmly rub his back when he winced.

“You alright?” Phoenix asked. Hangman hummed, reaching up to wipe at his forehead.

“Killin’ me.”

“Well, work should be quiet on Monday if you’re dead. Maybe I should go, leave you to die in peace.”

“Don’t go.”

Oh. That was new.

“Sit back. I think you’re good for now.”

Phoenix reached for the face towel sitting on the end of the sink, dunked it in the water, and then handed it over.

“You and me; we take this to the grave. Clear?” She said. Jake nodded, groaning as he turned to rest his head on her shoulder. Natasha went quiet for a moment, then she checked for a fever again.

“I have an idea. Get up, asshole, I can carry you I just don’t want to.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

-

Of all the things Natasha had expected Jake to do, she didn’t even think about getting all of five minutes into the shitty late night show she’d left on low only for Jake to toss a pillow on to her lap and rest his head on it, pulling her hand into his hair.

“You good?”

“My stomach hates me more right now than it did in flight school.”

Natasha snorted in amusement, her hand remaining on his shoulder.

“If you promise not to hurl on me, you can stay there.”

He slowly drifted to sleep. Despite the fact that her thighs were probably going to die if he slept long enough to start feeling better, Phoenix figured there were worse places for him to be.

-

[bell-gryffin]

“I’ll lock it in my chambers until you manage to convince me that going ahead with our marriage is the best thing for the kingdom,” I say with a smirk. She shakes her head at me, clicking her tongue disapprovingly. “You've got it all wrong, Prince Soren—you're the one who's going to have to convince me of such a thing, because right now, I’d set you on fire just to watch the flames consume you.”

“If my sister's name ever crosses your lips again, or my brother's for that matter, I’ll end your bloodline. I’ll do it and laugh as the Fates open to destroy us all, I swear on my coven’s name.”

“Why was he suspicious of your treatment here? You're not in chains, you're dressed in clean clothing, well fed, given your own rooms to work in…what else could Prince Soren do for you?” None of that is a kindness; surely he must know that. “It was pretty obvious to the soldier that none of you use my name. Only the princess has chosen to use it. Perhaps if you’re trying to hide your contempt for me to the goblin soldiers and their king, you should start there.”

“You're ignorant to any true sign of reason. If you want to watch as your people die around you, then throw me back in that cell and leave me there. I’ll return to my connection to the land and leave you all up here to wither, riding your pride and baseless thoughts of grandeur all the way to the oblivion of Elysium. I hope your bloodline judges you harshly there.”

“Your people will wither and die, all while you're busy pouting about your fate. When you realize your mistake, you’ll have to beg me for my help, and still, I'll refuse to give it, because you're nothing but a useless, arrogant male. The regent might be drinking and dancing his way to ruin, but you're right alongside him, riding a horse with a sword into the very depths of darkness and taking your whole kingdom with you.”

She steps through the shield, unharmed and determined, and moving faster than I ever thought possible, she launches into battle. Her sword cuts through the witches there, the light of her magic bursting forth and cleaving them apart—it’s a massacre the likes of which I’ve never seen before. Alone and with no regard for her own safety, the witch fights for Yregar.

“Maybe you should start making your peace with her by calling her by her name. Perhaps then she won’t keep her word and force you to beg her to marry you.”

“She's praying for our dead, to see them safely to Elysium. The same soldiers who've whispered their hopes for her suffering and death at your hands, and she's out there reading them their last rites to see them on their journey safely.” I have nothing to say back to that, no way to describe the twisted mess that only grows more intricate inside my chest.

She's not going to accept our apologies or admissions of wrongdoings easily.

I hold out a hand to her with the intention of carrying her behind me on Nightspark for the trip back to Yregar, but she stares at my hand like it's a death curse. When her eyes flick up to meet mine, she grimaces. “That doesn't look like begging to me. I'd rather walk until my feet bleed.”

[blacklodgemusictx]

Feeling Yourself Disintegrate

I don’t have what I would consider a fear of needles.  I’m covered in tattoos.  I am perfectly willing to sit serenely in one place and be stabbed hundreds of times in a row – it’s an asset.  I deal with the repetitive psychological pain of doing my job every day the same way (civil service, amiright?)

IV placement is another matter altogether.  I seem to attract phlebotomists who forget how veins work.  Something about me says, “Dig under my skin, poke, jab, hurt me.”  After each failed venous expedition, I’m left shaking.  It’s almost like being cold: shivering, gasping, teeth clenching.

I take Ketamine infusions due to Major Depressive Disorder (Google it: there's evidence it makes old, dim synapses light up and start "talking" to each other again).  12/30/22 was my second Ketamine “booster” (after an initial series of six as close together as possible for maximum benefit, I am now taking infusions longer and longer apart trying to maintain the drug’s therapeutic benefit without being as dependent on frequency.)

This infusion was another bad stick.  Please, I beg the kind woman who runs the clinic when the Vein Abuser is out of the room, please don’t let her poke me again.  Please?  Kind Lady has never missed the target.  Her deft hand sinks the needle in place every time.  No, she assured me.  She will do it next time.

I am wrapped in a blanket, shoes off, feet reclined, giant noise cancelling headphone, padded sleep mask I bought off Amazon.  Usually, I bring lip balm as I have a weird habit of smacking my lips pretty vigorously when down my K-hole.  Today, my only focus is a small baggy of nausea candies and alcohol prep swabs – I saw a video on Facebook suggesting the quick inhalation of alcohol during a spell of nausea will sometimes help alleviate the symptoms.  As of treatment seven, the Ketamine suddenly started making me violently sick.

I hate being nauseous.  I won’t even resort to being coy: if you want my secrets, you don’t even have to torture me.  Just spin me around in an office chair for half an hour ‘til I’m sea sick.  No more, coppa, I’ll talk, I’ll talk!

The only reason I was willing to submit to getting sick again is the fact that I truly believe the Ketamine is working.  I’ve been a slave to my depression since I was ten years old.  Even though the Ketamine’s benefit so far has just been a kind of Flowers for Algernon effect (improvement that quickly wears off), the brief, clear windows of hopeful feeling have been indescribably beautiful.

(The only reason I am going in to this kind of detail instead of just saying, “Ketamine, it’s a thing I do.  And then this other stuff happened” is because I know there are people out there stumbling in the darkness that is depression who want to know what it’s like.)

I never did drugs.  People laughed at Bill Clinton when he said he smoked pot, but “did not inhale.”  I feel you, Bubba, I could never really get the hang of it either.  I was high maybe twice in high school.  I’ve done Delta 8 since people swear by CDB and all it’s offshoots for pain relief (I have crippling back pain from degenerative disk disease and spinal arthritis).  So I have a vague idea what getting “high” is, but tripping?  No clue.  I might drink once or twice a year.  For the most part, my mind is one of the few things I truly possess (if just barely), I’ve never liked the idea of using substances that could potentially make me a stranger to my own inner self.  I hate Delta 8, HATE it.  It affects my ability to form short term memories.  I refer to it as “roofie-ing” myself.

Acid, magic mushrooms?  I had no frame of reference.

And if you don’t either, here’s exactly what it’s like:  living in album covers for an hour. 

I actual fed the prompt “Describing the cover of ‘Unknown Pleasures’ to someone who has never seen it before” in to my WONDER AI generator and got some pretty close representations of what I saw.

I was instructed before my first transfusion to just get on Spotify and look for “curated ketamine playlist” to listen to during my trip.  I found the equivalent of “oooohhmmmm” bells and hippy, navel contemplation stuff.  Nothing I read mentioned anything about the vital nature of having good music with you on your journey.

My first trip was a bad needle situation (they learned to give me Clonidine beforehand to get me to calm down enough to submit my arm without hyperventilating.  The first experience being a painful one conditioned me to fear all future experiences there unfortunately.  Like I said, Kind Lady has been just right with the needle, but the other lady who works there… no… not so much).  I didn’t switch to my Ohhhmmm playlist.  I left it on my Salim Nourallah playlist.  Initially, I was just trying to calm myself, but once the IV was started, the trip happened so fast I was already falling before I realized. 

This has made all the difference.

I related this to Kind Lady later and she said there was no way to tell.  She knows a very quiet, unassuming gent (I swear she said he was a doctor or some sort of medical professional) that takes gangster rap on his trips.

My cousin is a Physician’s Assistant.  She said she had seen people come out of Ketamine situations in emergency rooms (used to set bones and such) where people who were unprepared would flip out (have a bad trip.) 

I, personally, have only had pleasant experiences (except for the recent bouts of nausea).  You are responsible for setting the tone for your own experience.  As someone whose depression has been a lifelong companion, my mind isn’t a bright or cheerful place per se, but I know myself.  It’s been a relatively intuitive process.  I don’t watch scary movies beforehand.  I try to just be calm and collected.  Stay peaceful.  The limbic system doesn’t know the difference between watching/listening to emotionally fraught material or experiencing it so I try not to take chances.

Being accompanied in to my first trip by a familiar voice was so deeply comforting.  Salim Nourallah is my favorite singer, but he also happens to be a dear friend and fantastic human being to boot. 

Ketamine (again this is all purely subjective.  Everyone’s experiences will be different) creates any level of dissociative experiences for the user.  I don’t know if it’s just because I don’t have experience with “substances,” I but I disassociate… hard.

Complete dissolution of self.  Out of body.  Soaring.  Flying.  Falling.  Colors. 

Because music is so much part of my psychological make up, it’s sounds, colors and textures interpreted in musical context: album covers.

I have cried a lot.  The feeling returns gradually to my fingers and toes, my eyes stop jittering in their sockets and reach up to feel my sleep mask is wet.  The feeling/theme to all my trips has just been overwhelming gratitude.  I feel so much love for those people I have in my life who continue to stand by me no matter how the darkness sometimes affects my mind.

Ketamine for me is half medical treatment, half vision quest.  As I the chemicals wear off and I can feel myself again, I try to listen to anything I was told.  Call it messages from the subconscious, whatever you want.  I’ve come out wanting to reach out to certain people.  I sent a message to someone else I knew of who has severe depression (a voice actor on a podcast I’ve listened to for years).  He let me send him a care package of little, cheerful things.  Another trip, I came out and message someone I used to think of as a friend who hadn’t spoken to me in 12+ years.  I cast the missive out in to the digital sea not expecting anything back… but he responded.

I curated a special playlist of songs I wanted to “disintegrate to” and have emerged and tweaked it each trip.  No song has tilted the trip to the negative, but I have taken one band off (who shall remain nameless) as – under the influence – the singer acquired super human powers of grating annoyance. 

I am allowing myself Flaming Lips songs even though I have been estranged from my fandom in their regard for over a decade now.  But you have to admit:  for tripping, they are kind of perfect.

I return to Salim though.  His voice is consistently silvery blue.  “Miette” became so achingly beautiful I could barely stand it.  There are not words to describe how meaningful it is it have the voice of a friend accompanying me in the darkness.

My playlist:

[anxiousnerdwritings]

God, I love your Joanna lookalike hcs but I can't help thinking about what if the lookalike was Tyrion's daughter with Tysha? And it's the same except Tywin spared the baby since she had Lannister blood? And at first Tywin loathes her since she's a bastard (Cersei too) but the more she grows up the more she looks like Joanna? And eventually that makes them grow attached to her until they try to isolate her away from her father and be only attached to them? (not request, just thoughts)

Thank you so much! I’m really glad to hear that. Personally, I’ve always imagined the Joanna!lookalike!Reader to either be Tyrion’s biological child or be a cousin since Joanna was Tywin’s cousin. Especially since it would add to Tywin having a little less say and power over what happens with them. And just out of spite for how Tywin and Cersei treat Tyrion only for him to be the one to spawn the reincarnation of their late Joanna. I actually have a request for yandad!Tyrion Lannister with Joanna!lookalike!Reader and I can’t wait to get to that.

I absolutely love the idea of Joanna!lookalike!Reader being Tyrion and Tysha’s child. It is so fitting for what I’ve had originally rolling around in my head. I feel like Tywin would keep the Reader similar to why he kept Tyrion as a child; family resemblance. If the Reader had showed any appearance other than Lannister they would have been abandoned without a second thought. I would think that Tywin would come up with a cover story for the Reader’s existence, like they’re a distant cousin who was sent to King’s Landing to reside or something. Like he won’t openly acknowledge the Reader is Tyrion’s, especially not when he takes up an attachment for them.

I’m 50/50 between whether Tywin would actually allow Tyrion to be in the Reader’s life, especially their childhood. I feel like he wouldn’t allow it to further punish Tyrion for even marrying Tysha but especially for having a child with her. But then a part of me feels like he wouldn’t care too much, like he’d rather Tyrion keep the Reader out of his sight. Maybe Tyrion was fighting with him to see his own child or something. Only for Tywin to catch a glimpse of the Reader in passing after a few years of having not seen them and seeing how much they resemble Joanna.

Now for Cersei, she would definitely make both Tyrion and the Reader’s life hell, especially in the Reader’s early life. She’d openly threaten to kill them to Tyrion, making his question whether his sister is actually going to go along with it. She would allow and even encourage Joffrey to treat the Reader poorly. Once Reader does start resembling Joanna and Cersei’s attachment forms and grows, she won’t acknowledge any of the treatment or words she said to or about the Reader. She’ll act like it never happened, that she would never be like that, or that the Reader or whoever is remembering wrong. She’d have her own narrative, one where she was a saint, a mother figure to the poor Reader. Meanwhile that’s not true at all.

Hell, the Reader may not even have a clue of the way Cersei hated and despised them just as much as she hated and despised Tyrion but is now being fed these complete lies. And probably in front of Tyrion no less. But I feel like as much as Tyrion would protect his child from Tywin and Cersei’s true feelings and actions in regards to them, I also feel like he would be honest with them about how Tywin and Cersei really are. Especially when the Reader is old enough to understand. Like, he’d either go ahead and influence them to hate Tywin and Cersei or he would leave it up to them to decide on their own. I definitely feel like Tyrion would hate being pushed away from his child, especially by his father and sister who have berated, hated, and have been disgusted by his child’s very existence.

I personally think that Jaime would treat the Reader similarly to how he treated Tyrion growing up. He’d interact with and visit them, giving them a gift or two once in awhile. Telling them stories and or teaching them little things here and there. I think he’d be the only one to dote on them, other then Tyrion himself. I could see Jaime being the one to get Tyrion to actually be a father to his child, especially since he’d probably be drinking and whoring around more after what happened to Tysha. I just imagine Tyrion holding his baby in his arms or just peering over at them in the their crib and breaking down in front of his brother, admitting how scared shitless he is of being a father and a single father at that. Jaime knows Tyrion will make it work and tells him that he’ll do just fine. Maybe after awhile into the Reader growing up Tyrion and Jaime are drinking together and Tyrion is just happily talking away about what toddler!Reader did that day or how they took their first steps or said their first word or something like that. I just feel like Jaime would be a great support for Tyrion and Reader. Especially when you think that Jaime definitely holds guilt over lying about the whole Tysha story and basically helping destroy the only good Tyrion had in a long time.

I wholeheartedly believe that no matter the genuine love and care that Tyrion has or whatever Tywin and Cersei end up feeling for the Reader after their attachments have taken them over, the Reader will come down to being just an object that these three are all fighting to have in their possession. All three are going to fight over who has power over what happens to and with the Reader. Tyrion is bound to get petty and his child is only going to get caught up in it. As much as he loves and wants the best for his child he also wants to get back at his father and sister. And out of the three, Tyrion has the most say over everything that pertains to the Reader and he’s going to take full advantage of it.

[lemons3ason]

Soul Eater Omegaverse

How the alpha boys would react to you disappearing/ignoring them after a fight!

-Soul Eater Evans-

He didn’t mean to let it slip out, he didn’t mean to say that your compulsive reactions made you weak and would get you killed just like your mother but he did and now he hadn’t seen you after making you whimper for the first time. He got a well deserved slap in the face for saying what he said and just stood there like an idiot as you ran away. He hadn’t seen you since then and his inner Alpha roared at him for making his sweet beautiful omega cry, today marked the eleventh day since he had seen you and he was suffering withdraw. Maka had washed his clothes removing your sweet syrupy scent from them and it was driving him crazy.

“Soul you’re growling again.”, Maka warned continuing to read her book.

The bone haired scythe groaned in annoyance slamming his head against the wood of the desk as a defeated sigh escaped his throat. You hadn’t answered any of his calls or messages, you hadn’t been to class, hell you weren’t even home when he tried to go see you. As lunch time came around the halls were suddenly flooded by gossiping students, Soul immediately caught a whiff of your sweet scent. It was weak but without a doubt it was his (Y/n), his pupils dilated in joy to the thought of seeing you but even as he pushed through the crowd of students he soon realized just how grave his mistake was. You were covered in cuts and dried blood but the look on your face made it obvious that you were suffering an omegan depression.

“W-what happened? What happened to (Y/n)?!”, He growled lunging at your weapon partner who protected you until another member of your pack slammed their elbow into the middle of his back momentarily immobilizing him.

“An Alpha that causes an omega to go into depression isn’t a proper Alpha at all. If you want to talk to her you’ll wait your turn like the rest of us until Stein checks her injuries.”, Your Alpha friend, Serenity, growled ushering (Y/n) and her partner to the nurses office.

Soul remained silent yet persistent the rest of the day, he wouldn’t leave the door of the nurses office even as your pack mates threatened him and waited patiently for them to allow him in. Your partner was the only one to fill him in on what had happened to you, after the fight you had gone into a depression and you wanted to prove that your impulsiveness wouldn’t get you killed but with your mind not at 100% during the fight you were almost easily defeated if it hadn’t been for soul resonance.

“So she was pretty close to getting to see her mom again. She would’ve liked that but we’re to stubborn to let her go just yet.”, He sighed leaning against the wall next to Soul.

“She wanted to prove herself to me...Death why am I such an idiot. She’s already better then me why did I have to go saying something so stupid when I didn’t really mean it!”, Soul growled to himself slamming his fist into the wall out of frustration.

“Rio, it’s time for us to go. Stein’s kicking us out.”, Serenity sighed emerging with the other six members of your pack, “I hope she breaks things off with you you were never a proper alpha for her to begin with.”

As soon as your pack mates were gone Soul rushed into the office to see your body balled up on one of the infirmary beds. Soul sighed as Stein scooted past him on his chair and took a seat next to your exposed hand. He softly traced his fingertips to your knuckles to see if you’d react but you didn’t, he took your hand in his and softly kissed your knuckles as he began to speak to you.

“(Y-y/n)...Hey shortcake...what happened? Why’d you go and disappear on me? I’ve missed you, you know that? Come on (Y/n), talk to me please.”, Soul whimpered rubbing your wrist against his cheek in an attempt to scent you.

You gently pulled your hand away and hid it under the sheets with the rest of your body before your shaky soft voice emerged from the sheets, “I’m weak just like you said.”, that’s what drew the line for him. Soul’s inner alpha was furious with him, his urge to comfort you and apologize took over. He was aggressive yet careful as he pulled the sheets off of you and revealing your pale form and although you wanted to hide Soul wouldn’t let you. He spooned you immediately kissing away at your forehead as he smothered you in his sweet strawberry like scent. Even if you wanted to escape you were basically engulfed by your alpha. You tried to pull out of his grip but you were to weak and he wouldn’t let you. He lifted up your face so you could see him and kissed your lips sweetly as his hands wandered over your frame. He would appease your omega no matter how he had to do it wether through physical touch, word, or actions he would apologize to you and gain back your trust that he lost for saying something so careless and stupid.

“Soul.”, you whimpered shuddering as his hands rubbed your thighs.

“(Y/n),my mega, my mate, my absolute love of my life I’m sorry, I know what I said can’t be taken back but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I made you this upset. I’m not letting you go or leaving until you accept my apology or at least tell me what I can do to redeem myself. I’m sorry I’m such a terrible alpha, I miss you so much it hurts to be away from you any longer.”, Soul cried, he never cried in front of you, wet hot tears spilled from his eyes as he rubbed his forehead atop yours. You didn’t respond you just held him, you held his face in your hands and softly kissed his desperate lips in an attempt to please his alpha but it wasn’t enough. You both just needed each other and for now that was enough until you got better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black ⭐️ Star

It wasn’t rare for you both to argue, you were both just naturally competitive and that’s what he loved about you. He was competitive because he wanted to prove that even he could defeat a god. (Y/n) was competitive because she hated Omegan stereotypes and wanted to prove that she was a capable fighter to everyone, so why did this argument over another alpha complimenting your strength end so horribly. Black Star had hit a breaking point due to several recent defeats and seeing another Alpha make you smile destroyed what little restraint and patience he had left. He tried attacking the other Alpha but you stopped him...you stopped him and Omega, that was all it took to send him into a fury. Things were said that shouldn’t have been said but worst of all he had used your second gender status against you. After screaming at you he seemed to settle down but the guilt from his words flooded him immediately and you left before he could find the right words to apologize.

“(Y/n) your scent is weak on my scarf can you please scent it, I’ll scent your sweat-“

“Leave me alone. An omega beneath you shouldn’t even be in your presence remember?”, you responded coldly making Black Star stop in his tracks.

After the fight you chose to ignore him, if he didn’t need you then why would you need him? Your pack mates provided you enough attention to stay positive and happy as an omega so you didn’t need him but Death did he need you. He knew he was annoying you he could tell by the sour tone your scent took when you noticed him but he wanted to apologize for being a dumbass. If this kept up then you’d move on and another alpha would scoop you up and steal you away or worse mark you and leave him alone forever.

“(Y/n)...(y/n) I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to-I...It’s just that I-“, he tried to find the right words but your weapon partner had pulled you away from him and rushed to the women’s bathroom to hide.

This silent treatment was driving Black Star insane, he hadn’t seen you in two weeks already and it was driving him mad. He would cry himself to sleep every night as your scent slowly faded from his belongings. Black Star couldn’t handle this anymore you were so much more stronger if this wasn’t torture for you like it was for him. During dinner his emotions seemed to finally escape him.

“Black Star we’re going on a mission with Kid and Maka try to get some sleep so-“

“Tsubaki I don’t want to fight anymore.”, Black Star admitted as tears spilled from his eyes.

Tsubaki’s heart stopped to the very sight of her miester breaking down, separations between alpha and omega pairs always affected the individual parties differently but she didn’t know it would have this much of an effect on her poor miester. She was fed up seeing you both in so much pain, you were stupid for being so stubborn and hiding away from him, and he was stupid for starting the fight and crying over it instead of pushing to apologize properly! The raven haired teen sighed and stood to her feet and quietly left without another word. Black Star just cried over his food before returning to his ridiculously cluttered room. Losing you had made him lose all drive to do anything, what was he to do now that you seemed to be leaving him. He sat in his bed wrapped up in his blankets while staring up at the ceiling replaying the argument in his head again and again...why did he have to be such an idiot?

He heard a soft knock at his door and thought it was Tsubaki so he ignored it, but then he heard another knock and this time a voice, “H-hey Star...you there?”, your voice sounded from the other side of his door but he just though it was his imagination.

“Alpha I’m here.”, you called again the scent of cinnamon rolls poured into his room from his door and he quickly realized that you were there.

You could hear thumping and stomping from behind the door and stepped back as the door swung open revealing your exhausted mate. Tsubaki had dragged you to the house after finding you crying over Black Star in your room and yelled at you to stop being thick headed and stubborn since you were both suffering. You opened your mouth to say something but the moment his hands cupped your cheeks, his lips met yours, and his addicting scent of pine tree and fresh rain flooded your scenes you knew he truly meant that he was sorry. He slowly pushed you back into the wall pressing his body close to yours as he kissed you silly. Finally being able to enjoy your scent and touch you brought a new batch of tears to his eyes and he kissed you like it would be his last.

“B-black mmm Black Star...mmmn~ Black Star listen to me.”, you panted between kisses trying to get his attention.

He was afraid you would tell him something he didn’t want to hear so he didn’t want you to talk. ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Please don’t leave me’ and ‘I love you’ spilled from his lips between each kiss as he desperately tried to apologize to you.

He opened his mouth to say something new but it was the same thought on both of your minds, “I’ve missed you.”, you both sighed.

Black Star’s heart was beating like a drum against your chest as he pressed himself closer to you. You had both finally made up and he refused to make the same mistake again because being separated from you was a worse torture then death itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death the Kid

Just for a moment you were reminded that you weren’t good enough for Kid...your insecurities had resurfaced the moment you saw him smiling and dancing with that other omegan girl during the ball. Even when you tried to talk to him about it the other party guests wouldn’t give you two time alone but the final straw was when Kid himself said, “(Y/n) you’re such a needy omega can’t you see I’m busy.”, he’s said it to you many times before as a joke but today you knew he truly meant it by how cruel and rude he was.

“Oh and who might you be little dear? Do you know young master Death?”, one of the guests asked you.

You simply smiled and shook you head much to Kid’s surprise, “My apologize I’m simply another desperate omega making a fool of herself.”, you hummed dipping into a small curtsy before disappearing from sight.

You had made your nest at the Gallows Manor so Kid expected to see you there after the Ball since you seemed upset but you were no where in sight. He called for you through every room in the huge mansion but not once did he get a response or a clue to where you could’ve been. It worried him sure but it was just a party that couldn’t have upset you that bad right? He went to sleep without you that night your side littered in fluffy toys and pillows in hopes that he’d find you buried in a fort of them the next morning but still there was nothing.

“Liz, Patty, has (Y/n) contacted either of you? She didn’t come home last night.”, Kid explained a worried expression etching itself over his face as he started to panic.

“Nope she didn’t call me.”, Patty answered.

“I don’t have anything.”, Liz replied.

“Well without a doubt she’ll be at school. Sebastian is in rut right now so I know her team hasn’t been dispatched on any missions.”, he huffed summoning Beelzebub to get to school earlier in hopes of finding you.

He asked all of his friends and yours to try and find you but still there was no sight of you. Until he discovered that Crona and Team Cerberus had been dispatched on a mission together. He couldn’t believe it, you never once left without asking him to scent your belongings or without a warning so why did you do it now?

“Kid?”, a voice called drawing his attention.

The young reaper’s heart dropped seeing your weapon partner right before him, why was Sebastian here when you were out on a mission? You had no weapon for this A-rank mission this had to be a joke!

“W-why aren’t you with (Y/n)?”, he stuttered reaching for your partner’s collar as his anger boiled, “Why are you here while she’s out there?”

“Because I was in Rut I couldn’t go with her. At least I couldn’t until she snapped me out of it.”

“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean ‘she’ knocked you out of rut?!”, Kid growled.

Kid’s rage was settled the moment he caught a whiff of your scent, Kid was hypersensitive to any change in scents and the burning scent of rubber that was lightly hunted with your usual calm honey apple scent was utterly heartbreaking.

“W-what is this?”, he stuttered shaking as he removed the jacket from his face.

“She came to me crying last night...saying something along the lines of ‘He looked happier with her’ and ‘I was right I’m not good enough for him’ and my favorite bit ‘Who wants to be with an needy omega that has no self confidence?’ Kid I don’t know what you did but for (Y/n)’s sadness to be able to knock me out of rut and trigger my instincts to protect her then whatever you did to her last night might’ve been enough to trigger her into depression. You’re an asshole to not have noticed that (Y/n) never thought of herself as good enough to be your partner.”, Sebastian growled putting his jacket back on.

Kid’s body was shaking, not from anger but from guilt and worry. He didn’t bother staying much longer and ran to the entrance of the school. Once again he summoned Beelzebub and raced to Spain to stop you from getting hurt, he didn’t know! He didn’t once think you would think so poorly of yourself he loved you dearly so he never believed that his love was never enough for you to see what he see in you. You wouldn’t answer his calls so he didn’t bother calling but he knew Crona would! As soon as they did he begged them to put you on the phone or at least get close to you so he could explain himself. He cried his heart out into his phone but still you wouldn’t respond. Crona had to turn down the volume on their end just to keep from drawing attention from the other train passengers but you barely seemed to respond to anything Kid said.

“(Y/n) you’re perfect! You’re perfect because you’re imperfect, you to good to be mine but I can’t dare think of a day going by without you by my side. You’re always there for me when I’m upset, you’ve always been by my side to make me smile or kiss me good morning! (Y/n) I’m sorry I know I was acting out of line yesterday night but if I had known that you weren’t being needy and that you just felt self conscious then I would’ve listened! I would’ve scooped you up and taken you home and laid with you in bed reminding you why you’re so beautiful and perfect for me! I would’ve talked about the future that I want with you as my mate and my wife, you didn’t have to run away from me!”, Kid cried feeling overwhelmed by just how much space separated you from him.

He had to stop, he had to catch his breath, he felt his lungs burning from screaming and from hyperventilating but he had to keep going.

“(Y/n) please just don’t do this. This isn’t going to be an easy mission and you don’t have a weapon please don’t do this.”, he whimpered into the phone hopping that his begging would be enough to stop you.

“I don’t want to see you.”, he couldn’t even register your voice or the fact that you hung up after that. His body was frozen like stone from just the sickened tone of your voice.

He screwed up...he royally screwed up. As if he couldn’t push his powers more then he already had he pushed past his limit, he had to get to Spain and fast! He still had 3800 miles to reach you and he wasn’t going to let you go through with this even if you were mad at him. Even as tears poured from his lifeless golden hue he wouldn’t let his heart forget this pain even after he got you to forgive him. He reached Spain by nightfall and searched for your soul wavelength until he found it in the city of Pamplona, but the mission had already begun he saw the bull like kishin egg charging at your teammates and searched only for you. Until the creature was shot dead by a Barrett M-82 rifle, much to his surprise you were the miester wielding the weapon. You released your temporary weapon partner so they could collect the soul and collapsed to the floor of the rooftop as your fever finally set in.

“(Y/n)!”, Kid screamed drawing everyone’s attention as he raced to your side, he pulled your body close to his and frowned feeling your intense fever from your skin.

“An omegan depression.”, he frowned growling to himself as he held you closer. Your pack mates arrived to get you but the murderous glow in Kid’s eyes kept everyone at bay.

No one would touch you until he pulled you out of depression and no one would see you until he apologized and was forgiven by you.

[dodo-begone]

I Guess You Got Your Way

Pairing: C!Schlatt x Reader 

Word Count: 1027

Warning: Mentions of alcohol, mention of fighting, mention of injuries

I’ve heard some talk about Schlatt and his goat-like tendencies and I’d like to introduce, not just the farm goats, but the mountain rams. Since, ya’know, they headbutt each other for dominance and mates. He has the same horns as a mountain ram, so why not?

You’ve been a member of Schlatt’s presidential party since the beginning. Doing some of the dirty work. He’s flirted and wooed many people since you’ve known him. Many people.

And he’s been trying to woo you for a while now, which hasn’t gone well so far. With some attempts showing more success than others.

They go well you just,,,, don’t perceive them to be anything but platonic. This is the big and tough Schlatt we’re talking about. And he loves women (and men), but there’d be no way he’d go for them. He’s just flattering you! And you’ve known him for quite a while now. There’s no way he’d think of you in any romantic way. I mean he’s literally flirted with so many people!

This irks Schlatt very much. He’s one of those men who’s “I get what I want when I want it” type of guys along with “I want your attention. Give it now >:(“. And you don’t fall into his hands like he wants you to?? Why are you not showing any romantic attraction to him? He’s the best; he beat Wilbur for the presidency of (L’) Manberg. He has all the power in the world! And yet you just aren’t paying attention to him.

The pining goes on for fucking ages. Like it was obvious to members of his party, but not many others outside of it. This man is pretty bad at showing affection for anything he likes.

On one of Wilbur and Tommy’s visits to Manberg, they ask for a visa into the country. Which starts with them pestering Quackity for it. Poor Quackity is kinda floundering after a while because he doesn’t have the power for that stuff. Schlatt can, but Schlatt is also the one who exiled Wilbur and Tommy.

Luckily for Quackity, you were on a walk to survey the nation for any possible issues (both visible and stuff for the citizens) to bring up to Schlatt. And Quackity quickly calls you over to help him.

Little ole you goes over to see what ruckus the boys were stirring up. Mostly because you didn’t want this little exchange to become a fight. Spoiler: you fail.

Everything gets calmed down after a while of negotiating. With the compromise being that you and Quackity would try and set up a meeting for Wilbur and Tommy to have a formal meeting with Schlatt for a visa into Manberg.

Though the meeting happens muuuch earlier than anyone would’ve thought.

Schlatt had gone out looking for you and Quackity. He needed something done that instant and you two weren’t there to do it. And he didn’t want to do the work. The obvious answer is to go around and look for them.

And boy was he happy to see you two. Especially in the same place! Really saved him some walking. Though he’s less-than enthusiastic to see Wilbur and Tommy. Like pissed angry.

Anger combined with alcohol isn’t good. At all.

Schlatt does the first, and “most reasonable”, thing that comes to mind; Headbutt the ever loving shit out of Wilbur. Just body-slamming poor Wilbur to the ground with little warning.

He’s trash talking the entire time too, yelling insults to Wilbur and Tommy. It’s honestly just Wilbur, let’s be honest.

To make it worse, Schlatt is drunk. We all know he’s either on drugs, drunk, or both at any given time. So the “trash-talk” really just sounds like a word salad. All that can really be discerned from the mess are a few curse words.

The fight doesn’t last long. Tommy and Quackity do their best to get the two grown men off of each other. Tommy was doing his best to get Wilbur under control, while Quackity did the same with Schlatt. Results varied on each side, with Quackity dragging Schlatt away before any more damage could be done.

It’s not long before the three of you are out of the sight of Wilbur and Tommy. Schlatt continued to yell and fight with Quackity, which Quackity did his best to drag Schlatt back to the white house.

After a while of Quackity dragging Schlatt, Schlatt got fed up with the treatment. Trying to swatt Quackity away while insisting he was fine with the stench of alcohol on his breath wasn’t very convincing. Especially since, when he was allowed to walk on his own, he was stumbling everywhere. Almost falling.

That’s when you tried to support Schatt back to the white house. Surprisingly, the attempt went well. All three of you got to the white house safely.

Once back at the white house, you and Quackity agree that he should go check on Wilbur and Tommy for a couple of reasons. One being that he knew them better and another because he knew where Pogtopia was. And schlatt was still acting well under your care.

Trying to care for a drunk Schlatt was like trying to take care of a child. He was whiny and insisted that he was fine and could do anything he wanted. And since he was a little banged up form beating up poor Wilbur, you decided that you’d try and bandage up any cuts.

Whining throughout the entire process, Schlatt acted like his small injuries were the biggest hindrance and hurt oh so much. One could only deal with treatment like that for so long before they cracked. You cracked rather easily because after the day you had, it felt like something that was excusable at that point.

Teasingly you ask if he needs his “boo-boos” to be kissed to make them all better. Surprisingly, in Schlatt fashion, he replies saying “well obviously” with the biggest impatient pout you’ve seen on a grown man.

Rolling your eyes, you lean down to give his “horrendous injuries” a little kiss. Though the plan is kinda thwarted when you get pulled down into a hug. Trying to escape proved difficult and Schlatt wasn’t having it. With such an eventful day under the influence of alcohol, one can only stay awake for so long. Your escape is stopped only by Schlatt’s snores. Out of respect for the sleeping man, you still.

[lesbian-deadpool]

Happy Little Accidents

Part Two: Hope

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 2,317

Warnings: I don’t think there is any?? Crying/light angst, adoption process, stress??

Request: Yes

Summary: You work on getting you little girl back. And hope that it’s successful.

A/N: It’s been a long time coming, I haven’t proof read it or anything (but when do I ever? Lol), so bare that in mind.

Ko-Fi

(Not My GIF)

***

Being a pair of Avengers and going through the adoption process was so very complicated.

On one hand, you were well known across the globe. Household names.

But on the other. You were dangerous people, with violent past's -and futures to come- with more enemies than you could count. Some of which you didn't even know existed. And who in their right minds would ever let a child into that environment? People have been turned down for much less.

However.

You were basically celebrity's. And as everyone knows, that comes with a lot of special treatment. Even if you and Natasha -And most of, if not all of your team- denied to use any of it. But in this case? For little Hope? You would do whatever you had to.

So, it was thanks to that, that you were even allowed to be considered for adoption.

And there was so much work that had to be done.

Papers to sign, meetings to attend, visits and screenings every which way. And so much more.

It was a long and tedious journey. And you still had a long way to go.

Right now, you had to watch as someone picked apart your home -once again- to make sure it was okay for your little girl to come home. Where she belongs.

You had moved not too long ago, maybe a little over two months, and in that time, it had been looked at three times. Which really made it seem like you weren't doing anything, in their eyes, considering you were busy working and renovating the whole place out at the same time.

The day after you and Natasha had to say goodbye to Hope, you knew that you had to get a bigger place than the apartment you had both shared. And began looking for new homes the very same day.

Tony's help wasn't needed, you had plenty of money, but he insisted. So when you two found a townhouse that you absolutely adored, not too far from SHIELD HQ -where you both now worked most of the time. As when Fury found out that you were both to be adopting Hope- or trying to at least, the man lowered your hours and took you off missions altogether. Just until you were all settled-, the billionaire bought it for you, the moment he got wind of it.

You were moved in three days later. Deciding to work on the house while you lived there.

"So, where would the child be sleeping?" Your caseworker asked.

"Oh, right this way," you said, leading her down the hall to the newly decorated bedroom. Natasha following behind.

You gestured to the light pink, yet slightly sparse room. "This is it."

"We still have to pick up some of the furniture. But we've been waiting for the room to be decorated first," Natasha said, excusing the bare room.

"Yeah, Hope's not going to sleep on a stack of paint cans," you tried to joke. To which you barely got a smile from your caseworker, Stephany Halla.

"It look's decorated to me?"

"Oh." Natasha smiled. "We're having a friend of ours paint a mural or two on the walls."

"Yeah, Hope has a few favourite Avengers, so he's gonna paint them. And he's been learning how to draw cartoon characters for it, too."

"He's actually trying to adopt the two kids he took in with his fiance."

"Steve Rogers?" Stephany asked.

"That's the guy," you said, nodding along with Natasha.

"I've seen him around the office," She spoke again a few moments later. "So, when are you planning on getting the furniture for the room?"

"Hopefully, within a month," Natasha replied, "But with our and Steve's schedules, things are up in the air."

It was a difficult start to the adoption process, more so than it was now. Considering that the children legally didn't exist to the world. So, everything was so confusing and thrown up into the air while waiting for the kids to be registered.

Almost like you didn't know whether you were coming or going. Everything stuck in limbo as you waited to see what kind of adoption process you would have to take. And even with all of your connections in the world, you were still left in the dark.

There was the fact that the kids were found overseas in Romania, so they could be considered Romanian. And so, you would have to go through international adoption.

However, none of the children have birth parents and were brought to America because you had rescued them. So, some would say they could be considered immigrants.

Nothing like this had ever happened before.

Babies that had been grown in a lab and saved from a further torturous life, that now needed legalization in the world's eyes.

You and Natasha had to watch as Government's essentially fought over these children you saved. Over the same child, you clothed and fed. The one you played games with and bonded with the little girl you grew to love and consider your own.

So, as the world fought for the right of your child, your little Hope, you waited. Just wishing and wanting to bring your daughter home.

But, luckily for you, the children were now classed as American citizens. Which made it ten times easier for you to adopt than it would otherwise.

Which is honestly just crazy to you, considering just how intensely hard this is.

There were times you didn't believe you could ever adopt your child.

On more than one occasion, Natasha would come to you, saddened to her core, because she truly believed that you would never have Hope in your family.

It was so fucking hard.

Natasha had rolled over one night after you two had -once again- gone through the rules and regulations of adopting. Uttering how you were, "Never going to get her back" that there was "Juts no way, they will let us adopt", as she cried into your arms.

But still, the process continued.

"Well, your home seems to be in good standing. So for. But I advise you to get the furniture for the child's room as soon as possible," Stephane commented as she began packing up her belongings and paperwork.

"Oh, we know."

"Steve did say that he was going to start work on it in the next few days," Natasha added, nodding along with you.

"Well, that's is good news." Stephane smiled. "I'll see you at our next meeting with Hope."

Natasha sighed happily. "We can't wait."

"Well, goodbye then."

You whished the dirty-blonde woman farewell, closing the door behind her.

"We get to see our daughter in a couple of weeks," your red-headed girlfriend said excitedly, dancing from side to side out of pure happiness. Her bright smile filling your soul with warmth, that travelled all the way into your bones.

You matched her emotions, hands coming to curve around her shoulder blades and pulling her close to you.

"I know, Honey. It's been so long since we've seen her. And we're gonna bring her home one day."

That was all you could say before your mouth was covered, with the crushing feeling of Natasha's plump lips against yours.

***

Nerves rattled through you, but you hadn't the faintest idea why, considering this wasn't the first time you had seen Hope. However, it had been one of the first times you were able to see her since the day she was taken away from you.

If you thought you were bad.

Natasha was far worse.

She was practically shaking. From nerves or excitement, you didn't know. But you had a good inkling to think that it was both.

You had done so much for this child in the short span of time you had known her.

And yet, you couldn't imagine your life any other way. The thought of how your life had been that time last year.

No Hope. Surrounded by missions and work. Every free moment you had was spent with Natasha, and the rag-tag group of hero's you had grown to call your family.

It all seemed so foreign now.

Like a past life.

'Wow', you thought, 'Maybe I really am growing up'.

A part of you was afraid that the girl you thought of as your daughter wouldn't recognise you or your []. And would be scared of the two strangers that had just barged their way into her life. Breaking both of your heart's.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Was the thing that greeted you, as soon as the door had swung open. Making you realise just how stupid your train of thought really was.

Natasha rushed forward, scooping the girl up into her arms, with a bright smile upon both of their faces.

"So, I still don't get a name, huh?" you joked, walking over to the reuniting girls.

Brushing a hand over Hope's short hair. Grinning when she reached her arms towards you, ready to give you a hug of your own, which you gratefully accepted.

"Don't worry," Natasha said, rubbing Hope's back as she hugged you, "You'll get a name soon."

"I better. Or else I'm gonna have ta tickle it out of her."

Hope's squeals reached your ears as you threateningly poked her side with your fingers.

"Here, baby. I'll save you," Natasha called, pulling the giggling girl from your arms. Both of them watching as you pulled your hand's in front of your face, wiggling the fingers almost spookily as them. The girls turned to each other, "They're silly."

Then they walked away.

With you calling after them.

"Hey! I may be silly, but-... I have no rebuttal!"

Natasha laughed at this, then greeted the care worker that was patiently waiting for you both. The one that you had only just noticed.

"Hello, Stephany," Natasha said in greeting, shaking the woman's hand. You following suit.

"Hey. How have you two been?"

"Missing this little one," Natasha replied, bouncing the girl on her waist. Receiving fun-filled giggles in return.

"I bet you have. And you, Y/N?"

"Exhausted," you told her honestly, "With moving house and everything, I just want to have Hope home, then sleep for a week."

The care worker laughed at that.

"Let's hope that that's sooner rather than later, then."

Your few hour's with Hope passed faster than you ever could have imagined. You played with blocks, ate lunch, "helped" Hope colour in her haphazardly filled colouring book. You absolutely adored the way her eyes lit up, and she started dancing and flailing her arms when she saw bubbles for the first time. You almost couldn't continue blowing them because of your bright smile.

And now you were watching as Natasha spoke gently to the little girl. Hope's hand's resting on the red-heads cheeks, watching her mother with such concentrating eyes.

You adored your little family.

You just wished you could have them all home.

'One day', you thought, 'one day'.

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things you've ever had to do.

Just like the last time.

And the time before that.

And the time before that.

And the one before that.

It just got harder and harder each and every time you did this.

Hope was crying. And so was Natasha, albeit silently, as she tried to console the toddler.

"I know, my little love, I know-"

"Mommy!" Hope cried.

"I know, angel. We'll be back before you know it, I promise."

"Mommy!"

"I know."

Once in the car, you let your tears fall, Natasha sobbing in the seat beside you.

"I don't think I can keep on doing this anymore," you admitted. Deciding it was best you explained when Natasha turned to look at you, an incredulous look upon her face, "Keep on seeing her, and not being able to bring her home."

"We'll get there," your [] reached over the centre console to squeeze your hand, "We will. You're the one who's always saying that we've got to take after her namesake and have hope."

"But it almost seems endless, Nat."

"I know, honey." She wetly kissed your tear-stained cheek. Her lips, brushing against it as she continued, "We'll bring her home. I just know it."

"I hope you're right."

***

She was right.

Of course, she was right.

She was Natasha Romanoff, after all.

It was like she just had this inability to be wrong.

But in this case? You were so fucking happy about that.

Granted it had taken a while longer -a good eight months- but finally, you were here.

Exiting the courthouse with Hope in your arms, and Natasha by your side. Bright smiles upon all of your faces, about to take the little girl- Your daughter home.

You would never have to say goodbye to her, like that, ever again.

She was legally a part of your family now. And nothing would ever change that.

"Ready to go home, sweetpea?" Natasha asked the beaming girl.

"I don't know about you," you started, "But I think this deserves celebratory ice cream."

"I think you just want ice cream before dinner."

You gave an overdramatic gasp.

"Why I would never! How dare you accuse me of such a thing?"

Natasha laughed at your antics but nonetheless nodded her head.

"I agree. This does deserve celebratory ice cream."

"Yes!" you exclaimed happily to Hope, your free arm raising above your head in victory, making the girl copy you by raising both of her arms.

She was already taking after you.

Your red-headed girlfriend sighed dreamily after you, as you chanted, "Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!" On your way to the car.

She couldn't remember a time where she was this happy.

It had been a long time since then.

And Natasha just couldn't wait to see what the rest of her life would bring with the two of you now by her side.

***

Permanent Tag List: 

@imnotasuperhero, @veteranwerewolf95, @natasha-danvers, @marvelfansince08love, @higherfurther-romanova, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @sestra-inestro, @thelastavenger-3000, @mixed-fandom-mess,

SFW Tag list: 

@peggycarter-steverogers, @natalia-quinzel,

[kandyrezi]

Offers you some pocket lint and also a bag of chocolate buttons and an actual button or two

Can I get some uhhhhhh Yandere Ziki stuff?

—esurient;

pairing: yandere!ziki x reader

warnings: dismemberment, amputation, blood & gore

(a/n: I have no idea what on earth I’m supposed to do with those assortment of items you just electronically gifted me, but thank you anyway -

- yeah, not me thinking to myself upon seeing this ask ‘who tf is ziki?’ ……. OH, THE MOUTH WITCH. moment of enlightenment after that. (there are some bonus headcanons as well at the bottom of this fic! <3))

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

SHE DIPS HER FINGERS into the crimson stain, placing the blood-stained digits on her tongue, identifying the one it belongs to. Unmistakable, no doubt. Her lover's blood isn't as tasty as some of the others' she's consumed – but it's inconsequential. The taste bears no meaning in comparison to the adoration she feels for the one who brightened up her world like no one else ever has.

(she remembers the look in your eyes – lost and confused – the very look you gazed at her with the first time when she spotted you.)

The blood splatters leave her darling's scent lingering, yet they themselves are nowhere to be found – most likely having somehow wandered off to somewhere. You must have hurt yourself, as she doesn't remember you bleeding when she'd left you on your lonesome.

(she fell in love with you the day she'd met you.)

It's too bad no one in this world will come to your aid, not like she did when she first met you. The other witches are all selfish and only acting in their own self-interest.

(not wanting to lose someone so precious and wanting to consummate your love, she took you back to her little place of residence hidden away in the witch world.)

Finding you is laughably easy when you didn't even make it very far in the first place; you're awfully noisy and the tongues on her body have excellent taste receptors. One of the mouths on her braided hair maims you in the thigh, hardly a challenge at all as you're still drowsy from your escape— rather, your impolite, unannounced departure. As you look up at your pursuer hovering on her broom with your one still-intact eye, instead of ghostly white, her eyes shine a captivating yellow much like the mysterious sphere resting in the skies.

You must have seen her then for who she really was.

A witch of hunger and rage.

She didn't want to inject you with her venom. Weaker creatures such as yourself were easily susceptible to it and would likely die from it ("cardiac arrest" Ptomain had described it as) as opposed to becoming immobilised.

You are not the human who had the prettiest lilac eyes who escaped from the mansion of a vampire lord. You are not the leopard seal girl with broken fangs she came across beached on an island.

But you're you, and that's all she cares about.

. . .

The source of light provided by a stream of orange glow from the skies reflected off of the leaves from the trees yet the bright hues do nothing in ways of giving comfort. It could be pitch black and your heart would threaten to beat out of your chest from terror in equal measure.

You're partially blind due to your missing left eye and your surroundings are alien to you. Never would you have willingly entered a maze of unknown woods, yet at this moment you're desperate. You wish some ghastly beast would emerge from from the underground to devour you right then and there to simply end it so you wouldn't have to endure it – anything at all to avoid the deadly clutches of Ziki.

The soles of your feet no doubt have developed callouses and your toes burn from how long you've been running while avoiding getting your ankle stuck in vines or treading on one of the many-eyed endemic snakes. You momentarily lean your weight onto a (hopefully) harmless tree trunk with your dismembered, two-fingered hand.

The wind blows, howling right next to your ear, causing a tremor of shivers to trail down your spine. You feel like you're being taunted, watched with a calculating gaze – you push yourself upright and are ready to sprint (to your death if you have to), but it only takes you less than a second—

The jolt of sharp pain in your thigh forces you to freeze up like an icicle as the painful sensation rapidly spreads through your body. You fall into the dirt with no way to brace yourself with painful collision. something (but you know it's in fact, a someone) has bitten you in the leg and the juncture above your ankle is maimed next.

Ziki might not be hunting you for the purpose of killing you (—or so she's claimed) yet obviously natural predator-prey instincts kick in when the one being hunted down isn't so keen on allowing the one doing the hunting to sink their sharp, sawtooth-like tusk into your thigh so she can't let you get away. Especially now when one of her twin-tail mouths latch on to and break through muscle and tissue, the stream of red running down your leg creating another warm shade of color to paint the woods with. You're too weak to struggle much due to injuries you've sustained back at the witch's residence and on the run, and the fight ends before it can even begin.

You slip in and out of consciousness many times – the words shifts and moves around you, but you aren't sure where you ended up, not until after you wake up again.

The braided witch is saying something but you can't make out all the words.

"Neither your eye... your fingers... enough."

Were you really taken back...?

"It seems... you still don't... the conjoin of our love, so..."

What is this lunatic saying?!

"...Zi-Ziki..."

Your head barely becomes clearer yet it still hurts, you realize it when you feel the tight hold of belts strapping you to a familiar chair by your ankles and shoulders. It must be her kitchen. Where she keeps her jars and other glass containers full of substances you don't want to know about. The herbs and flowers hanging from the walls can't block out the stench you feel oozing from them. You can't really see her, but a smile on her face was normally her default expression, so it's far from a stretch to assume so.

"But I'm not complaining," Ziki keeps on talking, "Not when the meat from your flesh is so... tender. I've been keeping you well-fed and nourished, you can thank Ptomain for giving me some tips. Not sure how she knows so much about the health of your kind, but..."

She leans forward to hold your hand with farce tenderness, her other fingers stroking the outlines of the veins on your wrist below.

"...it's good that you're here now! After this, you'll tell me how much you feel the same way that I do for you~! Don't worry, I won't let you die. A witch's promise."

All the mouths on her body open to showcase their sharp teeth right in front of you. you vaguely register her biting your arm off from the elbow with the mouth on her face while the rest hold your body still to keep you from struggling. It's not a clean bite – she twists and yanks as your bones crack and shatter while tissues come apart under her immense strength. It all happens in less than a few seconds yet your nerves are on fire and you can't remember screaming or crying or pleading – nothing – as your body forces itself into unconsciousness from shock and agony.

You pray you won't wake up again after this time.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

• Ziki has a desire to consume a part of her lover so they're with her always - probably a body part like fingers, an entire limb, earlobe, or an eye (rarely) - possibly keeps some in a jar as well. She "falls in love" easily but is unable to "keep them"for long because she becomes too overzealous in her treatment of them.

• She hates it when her darling runs away from her. It's enough to make her lose her composure and almost kill them when she finds them again - it's mainly a stroke of luck when she doesn't violently lash out at the moment of seeing them.

• Despite how much of a whacko she is, she is actually strategic when it comes to anatomy and knows best places to injure to keep a darling immobile or crippled.

• Ziki doesn't have any healing abilities like some of the other witches. If her darling were a human, they would most likely end up dying from the injuries which she inflicted.

• She is kept under careful watch of the Great Witch to make sure she doesn't go overboard but will sometimes turn a blind eye if it's some stray, weak human (since they don't usually survive under the harsh conditions of PBW anyway).

• While she will otherwise go for anyone, she has a bit of a fetish for humans in particular because she likes how frail and docile they are.

• Feels lonely since the death of her familiar (not caused by her). This might correlate with her desire to keep a plaything to fill in that void (...or it might not).

• The mouths on her body can open and eat things, but can speak with only the one on her face.

• Ziki is friends with Ptomain and Kagimori. Since they can do types of witchcraft that fundamentally differ from one another, Ptomain has given her tips on medical care and health without the need for magic usage. Kagimori sometimes complains about the mess from blood stains on the hardwood floors of Ziki's cottage when she goes in for a visit.

• Her eyes change color depending on her mood; her pupils are pure white when she's feeling more docile, but they turn yellow when her emotions become intense and she feels them strongly.

• Aside from her appetite for flesh, she also likes mandarin oranges.

- - -

(a/n: ziki is literally a blank slate with just a visual appearance, so I got a little creative with her in ways you normally can't with established characters. I wrote the headcanons while i was trying to figure out her personality for just myself initially, but then decided to share them anyway.)

[tobiosmilktea]

can i request headcannons for tsukishima, kuroo, iwa, and oikawa on their best friend telling them that they like someone so the boys get all sad (or whatever reaction you see fit) but it turns out that their bff was talking about them the whole time + like a confession. thank you in advance 💞

hidden feelings with tsukishima, kuroo, iwaizumi, and oikawa

a/n: sorry for the wait! this was really fun to write, hope you all like it :)) also scenarios are going to take a little longer to publish, but i’ll make sure to get them out asap !

— t. kei

you honestly said it out of the blue

you didn’t think of it much, it was more like a little hint since surely tsukishima was smart enough to figure it out right?

wrong.

you both were in the middle of a study session break and the entire time you could barely focus when the guy you were entirely whipped for was sitting right in front of you

the workspace was small too as both of your materials could barely fit on the table, his face was barely a foot away from yours the entire time

like hOW THE HELL IS HE NOT FLUSTERED RN

it’s been like this for ages though, ever since you two had met the beginning of your first year at karasuno

you immediately fell in love with his humor with how his quite teasing charm was always your favorite type of banter

and you could tell that he had some sort of soft spot for you ever since you could fire back the same spit fire of jokes and teasing just as he did for you

you just hoped that all that teasing (which was literally dRENCHED in flirtations and suggestive humor) that you hoped that a smartass like tsukishima kei would finally get it

but it’s been months and none of it had worked, so you opted for a different approach

you haven’t exactly seen tsukishima jealous and you genuinely wanted to see his reaction that one of his closest friends had taken a liking for someone else

“can i ask you something?” you would start. it was something nonchalant and open ended so of course tsukishima couldn’t really say no

“hm,” he hums as he sipped on his juice box

you cleared your throat, “so there’s this guy i like...”

then a scoff leaves his lips and interrupts you

you give him a look to which his eyes immediately softened as he shook his head, “sorry, keep going.”

“aNYWAY, i’ve liked this guy for a while now and i’ve been hinting that i like him for a while now, but i’m starting to think that he might be too dense to even see.”

tsukishima’s expression was unreadable as he drank the very last of his juice box’s contents before crushing it in his hand, chucking to the other side of the room and into his trash bin

“i think that guy's an idiot.” he concludes, clearing his throat.

“really?” you said, it was almost enticing.

“yeah, honestly i think you shouldn’t be wasting your time on that guy...”

a small pout melted upon your lips as tsukishima’s golden eyes met yours

“why would you think that?”

“cause i think you should pay attention to me instead.” he said out of the blue

“hUH?”

homie really caught you off guard

like you were genuinely confused to whether or not he misspoke or if this was another one of his playful banter

“yeah right,” you muttered, picking up your pencil and continued to jot down notes in attempt to leave the subject behind

“i’m serious.” he deadpanned

your gaze flickered back up to him as you pursed your lips, biting them as you felt your heart beat pound harder against your ribs. your chest was already constricted from the thought of embarrassing yourself for even bringing it up

“who is this guy anyway?” tsukishima continues and it honestly sounded like a genuine threat.

you roll your eyes and scoff, “i was talking about you idiot!”

a small smirk appeared on his lips as if it was the most knowing and condescending look ever, “good, that’s what i thought.”

“hUH?” x2

once again your eyes were wide and confused

“there’s a reason why yamaguchi always leave us alone together.”

— k. tetsurou

it was 2am with you and kuroo being suPER delirious

as it was the start of the weekend, kuroo thought it was a good idea to hangout at your place after vb practice along with kenma

you two were literally the golden trio at nekoma, so it was a given

kenma had left hours ago around 9pm to go home, but honestly there is a good chance he’s still awake and just wanted to leave with the amount of tension between you and kuroo

not to mention he wanted to play games on his computer

kenma literally couldn't stand that awkward air between you and the vb team captain as your usual hangouts didn’t even feel normal anymore

as if you both were stepping on fragile eggshells after what happened earlier during the school day at lunch

it seems like all your advances in terms of trying to flirt with him was always flying over his head

even kenma, who sometimes didn’t pay attention to the conversation as he was too busy playing on his PSP, knew that you would often try and ask kuroo out

even if they were slightly sly and sometimes sounded like normal friendly hangouts, there were so many opportunities to turn it into sometimes, but kuroo was far too cloudy-minded to even spare that thought

but if kenma was being honest, the awkward tension between you and kuroo primarily started cause of him

he was the one who proposed the plan that you should try and make kuroo jealous. if he did have a negative reaction to you saying you liked someone else, then he liked you back. but if he didn’t, then no harm done!

honestly, it sounded like a plan and you deadass said it in the middle of lunch

you three were out in the courtyard eating your bentos when you suddenly said, “so there’s this guy i really like...”

and it immediately got kuroo’s attention

“who?” he immediately asked.

you feigned a smirk to appear on your lips as you simply shrugged to stay in the act, “just someone.” you swatted the thought away, “anyway, i’m just asking on how i should confess to them—”

“it’s yaku isn’t it?” kuroo suddenly concluded

“what? no—”

“then wHO?”

“someone who’s too stupid to see i have feelings for him!” you suddenly spew out.

kuroo’s eyes peered suspiciously at you, nodding as he turned away. “i see how it is, (y/n). i’d honestly like to meet this guy.”

“trust me, you already know.”

and perhaps that wasn’t the best thing to say as kuroo immediately started badgering you with annoying questions once again

throughout the entire day you had been rejecting to answer which basically leads to right now

you and kuroo alone at 2am in your room, sitting in awkward tension as kuroo literally refuses to leave unless you tell him who you liked

“at least give me their initials, (y/n)” the vb captain begged

“noPE!”

“please?” he continued to asked, “i’ll literally buy you all your favorite snacks, just tell me who!”

you roll your eyes, preparing to say no again, but the thought suddenly hits you

why was he so determined to know who you liked if he in fact, doesn’t have feelings for you?

“why do you care so much about who i like?” you suddenly asked 

“c-cause i’m your best friend and i care about you!”

you peered your eyes at him, “kenma is also my best friend and cares about me, and yet you don’t hear him pestering me about my love life.”

you swore you saw the tiniest bit of pink blush on kuroo’s cheeks that perhaps his ears were tinted as well

he looked absolutely beautiful under the moonlight

a sigh left his lips, “because i want to be the only boy in your life.” (besides kenma, but he didn’t mention it cause it was just you and him)

you couldn’t help but feel a smile melt upon your visage, “then i guess it’s a good thing that you’re the one i like.”

— i. hajime

you and iwaizumi were staying after school as you two were on clean up duty

the hallways were pretty empty besides a few handfuls of students also cleaning classrooms or at club activities

it was just the usual, but you surely weren’t acting normal that even iwaizumi noticed

he’s one of your closest friends ever since middle school and you liked to believe that he considered you two best friends, but he usually minded his own business when it came to you

perhaps that’s what made you act so different around him

you weren’t the same (y/n) that would walk with him to and from school, the one who would eat every lunch with him and oikawa, the one who he wouldn’t have to worry about so much since oikawa was primarily his source of stress

but recently, that seemed to have transferred onto you ever since iwaizumi had been too preoccupied with oikawa and volleyball, that you making your feelings for him extremely obvious wasn’t enough

you two have been cleaning for about thirty minutes in (almost complete) silence

really, the only sound coming from the room was the clattering and squeaking of moving chairs and desks around to mop

iwaizumi wasn’t usually the one to get so fed up, especially with you

but this time was different

“so are you going to tell me what’s wrong or are you going to be childish and act like oikawa by giving me the silent treatment?” he starts and you immediately felt your body freeze, but immediately caught yourself and continued to clean

you hear him sigh defeated to which caused your body to turn towards him, “did i do something wrong?”

there was obvious hurt lacing his voice, that he perhaps jeopardized one of his closest friendships over something he didn’t know anything about

you were aware of this and immediately approached him, “you didn’t do anything wrong...” you hesitate as you didn’t know how to follow it up with, “i’m just being moody that’s all”

honestly, not your best excuse but it was workable

“then tell me what’s wrong, (y/n). i’m your best friend that’s what i’m supposed to do.”

and there it was. that look and attitude that made you fall in love with him in the first place

as if a huge wave just crashed upon you, your heartbeat intensified the moment you noticed how close you were to him

you gulped down your rising nerves, almost panicking as the words miraculously left your mouth. “i don’t think the guy i like likes me back.”

it was safe to say, that that definitely wasn’t what iwaizumi was expecting

if anything he was surprised and almost obligated as your best friend to comfort you in that moment, but he couldn’t help but feel almost betrayed

he knew he had no right to as he was nothing more than just a friend to you. so he swallowed his pride and nods with a faux smile on his lips

“it’s okay, (y/n). there’s so many other guys out there.”

then it came down like a sudden downpour, “but i only want you.”

“w-what?” it left his lips almost like a whisper as his eyes widened into saucers

“i’m talking about you, idiot.” you gently hit his hard chest, “but you obviously don’t like me back as you blatantly overlook what i say whenever i flirt with you."

“(y/n), i—”

you continued muttering in a hurried and embarrassed spiel that you didn’t even notice him trying to talk, “it’s okay, i’m ready for rejection, i just don’t want this to ruin our friendship—”

“it won’t because i literally like you too (y/n).” he finally cut in to say, taking you aback

“oh.” you say, still in shock, “cool.”

— o. tooru

you were in quite the predicament

rather than giving oikawa the silent treatment, he was giving it to you instead

basically, what happened was that perhaps you got a bit fed up with how popular oikawa was with girls and how they would often times flock him in packs sporadically throughout the day

and as if the world was out to get you, the packs of girls would always seem to come over whenever it was just you and oikawa alone

surely, from the three years you and oikawa had been friends, you’d assume that you’d get used to it

but you haven’t.

in the first two years of hs, you were pretty lenient and understanding and you truly didn’t mind it but now in your last and final year, you were tired of it

surely it didn’t help when that annoyance was fueled by your pent up feelings for oikawa in the past three years

the only reason why you hesitated to even say anything about your feelings was that you never really had the chance. with so many pretty people in and outside of aoba johsai, oikawa can be guaranteed a significant other within a snap

you felt easily replaceable, not to mention you definitely weren’t his first priority

he was too busy trying to get to nationals and to beat shiratorizawa that a relationship was the last thing on his mind

so here you two were, cleaning up the equipment in the gym in complete silence as volleyball practice had just finished as you were one of the managers

it had been like this for the past three days, being forced to physically interact, yet still not speaking to each other

like right now, you and oikawa were folding up the net neatly to eventually it got shorter and shorter that you and him had met closely in the middle

oikawa seemed to have paused the moment your hand made contact with his to make the final fold and that was when he completely broke

“ugh, i can’t take it anymore!” he exclaimed, shocking you slightly as you took the folded net from him. “i don’t get it (y/n), why can’t you just tell me who you like? i promise i’ll keep it secret!”

“be quiet,” you mutter as you turn your back towards him, “if you keep acting like this, i won’t tell you.”

he groaned once more, his feet dragging on the ground as he stumbled towards you. you froze under his touch the moment his rested his head on your shoulder.

“i just want to know cause i don’t want you to look at other guys.”

god, he was so fucking adorable

you hated to say it, but you gave into him and his charisma and how his easy words could have you complying

“fine,” you sigh, turning to face him. your breath hitched in your throat when you realize how close he was, “he’s on the volleyball team, he’s a third year—”

oikawa cut you off, “it’s iwaizumi isn’t it? i knew it! honestly, no offense to iwa, but i think i would make a better boyfriend, don’t you think?”

you couldn’t help but chuckle with a smile on your face, “you think so?”

“i know so.”

“well, fortunately for you, you’re the guy i really like.” you confessed, watching his expression brighten.

“so you made me go through three days of silent treatment just to finally date you?”

you shrug, asking, “was it worth it?” before being engulfed completely into a hug

“yes.”

a/n: this hasn’t been proofread if you couldn’t tell 👀

[geniusmageknight]

Velouria, completly fed up with this game by now, marched up to the person she best figured as her final guess, slamming the papers into him. If it wasn't him, she was going to eat these damn papers and then run away to go live in a cave in shame.

"Is this you?!"

WHAT MAKES YOU A GREAT DATE FOR THE BALL? Where to begin? I'm extremely well versed in the art of dance, and have considerable experience in attending fancy events similar to this one. Unlike other so-called nobles, I am not some pathetic excuse for a man that will spend the night trying to woo every girl they see. Anyone who's my date will receive the respect they are properly owed, and I only ask for the same in return! Trust me, you'll receive the VIP treatment with me as your companion, as nobody would dare to give you anything less in my presence! I really could go on about all the other benefits I provide, but we'll have all night for that, won't we?

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A DATE? Looking for someone who isn't afraid to think outside the box. The sort of person who doesn't just mindlessly follow what's considered "trendy", or "popular", or "legal". I can find someone like that anywhere! What I truly want is someone who can show me something I haven't seen before. I've been to balls with a boring date before, and its just awful. Can't recommend.

WHAT ARE THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE THINGS? A good wit, a sense of humor, and a nice home-cooked meal.

HOW TALL ARE YOU? Tall enough. What are you gonna do, bring a measuring tool to prove me wrong?

AFFILIATION Unaffliated.

Kempf was a bit shocked to be approached by some sort of wolf-woman, and even moreso when he realized that she was somehow going to be his partner for the ball.

I thought this was about getting a date, not adopting a pet! This is not the sort of date I was looking for! How could anyone believe she’s a suitable match for me? Didn’t the idiots behind this pay attention to what I wanted in a partner?!

Upon reading back the dating profile in Velouria’s hands(do they qualify as paws?), Kempf started to realize his initial impression of her was perhaps a bit too harsh.

Well, I suppose a wolf girl does qualify as someone non-conventional and non-boring, which I did specifically request. Canines are also known for their loyalty, and I do appreciate that as well. Going to the ball with someone from a different species also fulfills my request for something I’ve never seen or done before. Well I’ll be damned, maybe she IS the perfect date!

Kempf accepted the list from Velouria and proudly announced himself as her date-to-be.

“It may have taken you some time to find me, but your effort shall finally be rewarded! I am indeed the mysterious bachelor behind these writings, and I will be happy to take you to the Ethereal Ball as my personal date! You’ll have everything a girl like yourself could possibly want! I’m not entirely sure what a girl like yourself wants, but I’m sure I’ll figure that out along the way! You’ll have a fantastic time at the Ethereal Ball with me around. Your friends will be green with envy! So, how about we find a place to sit down and eat? We have some planning to do, after all!”

She isn’t going to say no, right?

[arabellaflynn]

The SOJD is on hiatus. The Celtics dance team has gone mixed-gender this year, and he is one of the first men they signed. If any of you are the sort who watch sportsball and actually pay attention to the non-sportsball segments of the broadcast, have fun trying to guess which one of the guys did his best to teach me hip hop.

He says it is temporary. He swears that teaching is "necessary for [his] mental health", and that he's going to figure out how to run single-session pop-ups whenever he can. In theory, he'll go back to twice-weekly classes in April if our team sucks, June if we don't. 

I don't like not having that class. It was useful in a technical training sense, but a lot of classes are; I picked up two others that will teach me equally useful things. They're fine. My schedule is fine. Everything's fine, and I hate it. I've spent the past two weeks trying to come up with a reasonable career-based argument for why I'm at such a loss right now, and I can't, because there isn't one. 

I miss that class because I felt wanted. And it's taken me this long to articulate that because it feels like a petty thought to have. There are a million other people who have been perfectly lovely to me, and extended a welcome as soon as I asked for one. It shouldn't matter that someone walked up and started talking to me first for once, but it does. I feel ungrateful and childish for caring.

It took me forever to figure out what he was up to, because normally people are only that persistent about talking to me when they want something. He didn't seem to want special treatment from the desk and he was way too gay to be angling for a date, so I didn't know what the fuck. The other thing people normally want out of me is emotional work, because when you're known to be generally unflappable it makes you look like a great repository for everyone's trauma-thoughts, but it actually took me months to convince him that when I asked "how are you?" that was an actual question and not a social noise, so.

He didn't want me to do anything for him. I eventually wound up doing a lot of things for him, but I hadn't done any of them yet, and neither of us had any idea I was going to. He didn't have to talk to me at all. Most of the friends I have now are people who could not avoid making my acquaintance. We worked together or volunteered together or did a show together, or something. We're friends now because we like each other, but we only figured that out because we were required to interact at some point whether we wanted to or not. The SOJD could have just waved and walked past me. But he just wanted to chat, so he did.

How pathetic am I being that this actually matters?

I also felt very seen in that class, which is a whole 'nother can of worms. I have a love/hate relationship with attracting attention in classes, especially from the instructor. On the one hand, I understand it's supposed to be flattering, but on the other hand, I learn far better if I'm just fed a whole bunch of information and then left alone to sort through it, and I know from experience that attention is eventually going to end in me being deputized. I've picked up two other classes to fill in some hours, and both of them have already either started using me as an example. It irks me, but not enough to say anything; explaining why I have so much baggage around it is pretty much never worth the trouble. I just accept that if I want to take classes I'm going to have to put up with being the demonstration model in much the same way I accept that if I want to leave my house I'm going to have to put on real pants. It's just one of life's many annoyances.

Like life's other annoyances, you don't realize how much energy you put into dealing with it until you don't have to. The SOJD likes to pull people who are doing well up to the front row, because watching them succeed makes him happy. He tried it with me exactly once. I asked him, "Why am I up here?" he said, "Do you not like being up front?" I said "NO I DO NOT," he said, "Okay, you can go back where you were." Fin. I eventually drifted closer to the front of my own accord, once the mirror was more help than distraction, but he never brought it up again. I've never felt like I could have that conversation with an instructor, much less that it would solve more problems than it caused.

A lot of things have panned out like that. Fundamentally, I was just grateful to finally be in a room run by someone who Gets It, for certain very specific values of It that confound most other people. A lot of it has to do with understanding that yes, I am always in some amount of pain, and no, that doesn't always mean it would be better if I stopped doing whatever I'm doing. I can choose to do things that hurt, if doing them is more important to me than not being in pain, but that means I forfeit the right to have my pain acknowledged, because mentioning it just makes other people concerned to the point where they interfere. But I might decide that I just can't that day, and that decision isn't always going to be consistent, because it depends on a million bizarre and esoteric factors that I could not even begin to unpack. 

I've only had to bail on class a couple of times. The last time I did it, I told him "love y'all, but if I keep going I'm gonna throw up on someone's shoes." He laughed at me -- which was the correct response, because I was being flippant -- but also let me go without kicking up a fuss about whether I was okay enough to get myself home. I've seen him do the normal-person thing when other people have mishaps in class, so I know he knows what most people expect. Having my own self-assessment respected by default is not something I expect, because it happens so rarely.

A part of me is sorry that he Gets It, because this is stuff you can't understand unless you live it for yourself. But I'm not responsible for other people having bad experiences decades before I met them, and  now that they are where they are in life, I'm glad when I run into them.

I hate not having that space. I hate not having a class where I don't have to make sure I look 'okay' so I can fly under the radar. I do warn most dance teachers that I'm very bendy and will probably make a lot of mechanically-puzzling choices, but that's not the same as being able to say, "Wow, that really fucking hurts. Hang on a minute and I'll do it again," and not have to deal with all the fallout.

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[pika-ace]

I FINALLY SAW THE IN THE HEIGHTS MOVIE

HOLY SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST WITNESSED MANNA FROM THE FUCKING GODS

My skin is clear, my children are fed, and my crops are thriving and I have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT! Seriously, do not read if you want to see the movie, I want you to experience this emotional ride yourselves

- I don't really need to talk about the music because, as expected, it was top-notch. Everyone was great, great voices, god-tier dancing, just good shit all around

- Songs are cut and things are changed, but honestly, NOTHING was lost so there's no need to worry. For every story element they take away, they add SO MUCH MORE with the changes they made to make up for it. It's like ITH for the first time all over again :D

- First up, Usnavi. MY GOD ANTHONY RAMOS, I AM SO SORRY I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON YOU FOR SO LONG! I never paid him any mind back in the day because his face was just plastered all over Lams stuff (UGGGGH) so seeing him doing his own thing SEPARATE from that? I WAS ONCE BLIND BUT NOW I SEE

- The whole beach story-telling thing was throwing me off the whole time. I remember how PETRIFIED everyone was when the trailers showed that, but I had faith that there was a point to it and I WAS RIGHT!! The SECOND Sonny pointed out that green crab he painted, it was like a slap in the face, and when Usnavi started his whole 'There goes my flight' part, my cousin and I silently fist pumped in pure joy

- Also, USNAVI👏AND👏VANESSA👏AS👏MARRIED👏BUSINESS👏PARTNERS👏FUCKING👏ALL👏MY👏YES (Why did none of us think of this before????)

- USNAVI AND VANESSA GETTING A CANONICAL DAUGHTER, FUCKING YES PLEASE, PUT THAT HAT ON HER HEAD

- Next, Nina. Just...OH her voice...so soft...so gentle...I could fall asleep to that shit...

- The extra details of her being discriminated against at Stanford, just...DAMN, that shit HURTED. Best Girl doesn't deserve that shit!!!

- And her deciding to go back after learned that Sonny wants to be like her but can't due to discrimination just...BEST GIRL

- Benny just...OOZED charm, man. It almost makes me sad that he and Nina didn't play as big a role in the movie as they did in the play compared to Usnavi and Vanessa. ALMOST.

- Speaking of, Vanessa got an expanded role, HELL TO THE FUCKING YES. (She got a last name change from Otilla Garcia to Morales, but hey, her last name was just a workshop thing anyway so it's JUST not-canon enough to make changing it acceptable)

- Vanessa being the one who decided on the mural thing and getting Pete and Sonny to help just...BEAUTIFUL. That's TRUE LOVE right there

- Lin as Piragua Guy and Chris Jackson as Mr. Softee; that was the funniest meta shit I've EVER seen.

- I?? Did not expect?? To come out of this LOVING Kevin Rosario??? Like, he was SO MUCH BETTER and less antagonistic??? And I LOVED IT??

- Seriously though, getting rid of his prejudice against Benny was THE MOST WELCOME CHANGE in this whole movie (to me at least). When those two were together in the dispatch during the Blackout and helping people, that was just *chef's kiss* That was the pseudo-father-son shit I have been CRAVING for those two!

- Blackout was much less scary and chaotic than we were led to believe in the stage play; a part of me was disappointed, but the way they made it with everyone taking it in stride made up for it. It was like 'Aw dammit, blackout! Welp, bust out the fireworks and the Bingo boards, we're gonna be in the dark for a while, you all know the drill.'

- Also, lights turning back on RIGHT after Carnival del Barrio? Nice touch 👌

- Pete was SO GOOD. Favorite scene:

Usnavi, with Sonny: You're out here; who's watching the store? *points to Pete who's booking it out of the store having stolen something*

Sonny: *runs after him* PETE NO, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!!!

- Age gap still seems a bit ambiguous between Sonny and Pete, so until confirmation is given, this pairing is staying EXPLICITLY in the stage version tag on Ao3 XD

- PETE PROVIDING VANESSA WITH INSPIRATIONAL MATERIALS, THAT IS A FACET OF FRIENDSHIP I NEVER KNEW I WANTED

- Also, appreciate Usnavi being MUCH less antagonistic towards Pete, just treating him as an annoying kid that enjoys getting a rise out of him rather than a vandal that's a bad influence who Usnavi WILL call the cops on if pushed.

- Daniela and Carla were REALLY awesome together and I'm DOWN for them being a couple, even though Hollywood STILL decided to be cowards about it with no on-screen kiss or mention that they were girlfriends (come on guys, it's 2021, stop hiding the gays!!)

- Abuela. ABUELAAAAAAAA. NEED I SAY MORE????

Usnavi: I wanna take you and Sonny to DR

Abuela: I'm not leaving without Sonny

Me: MY QUEEN, YEEEEES

- When I saw her lying down during Blackout and staring at Usnavi and Sonny and then started transitioning into Paciencia y Fe, my writer brain IMMEDIATELY began putting those metaphor pieces together and was like 'No...no no no no NO, don't you do this to me, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE DO THIS TO ME-'

- Alabanza had me sobbing; no comment.

- The lotto money twist was SO GOOD??? Like, my cousin and I were VERY concerned when it wasn't brought up AT ALL, but then when it turns out she saved the ticket to give to Usnavi as a final gift after her death just...TEARS EVERYWHERE

- And last but not least...Sonny. Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny SONNYYYYYYYYYYY! My son, my child, the light of my life, the stars in my sky, was given justice on this day!!!

- HE HAS A DAD!! IT'S A SHITTY DAD BUT HE HAS A PLACE TO LIVE!!! IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT WE HAD BEFORE AND I THANK BASED LMM FOR GIVING MY BOY THE BACKSTORY HE DESERVED!! (Fanfic writers, I expect MOUNTAINS of angst and hurt/comfort from you all with this new material!)

- RIP Smol Sonny, but that baby face of his MORE than made up for it :3c

- Usnavi WANTING to take Sonny to DR right off the bat, just...THANK YOU. That was DESPERATELY NEEDED and was even wrapped up early and neatly with Sonny saying to Usnavi 'Nah, I grew up here in NY, I have no memories of DR but YOU do, so if you wanna go, then go, I like it here.' and since he HAS A FUCKING HOME here, the worry for his well-being is GONE and it feels GOOD.

- Learning Sonny was undocumented was a PUNCH IN THE FUCKING HEART! My mind IMMEDIATELY reminded me when his dad asked Usnavi why he only paid Sonny in cash and the FACE HE MADE when Nina said that undocumented kids can't get in college just BABY NOOOOOOOOOO

- Usnavi. Using. The goddamn lotto money. TO GET SONNY DOCUMENTED. MY DE LA VEGA COUSIN LOVING HEART HAS FUCKING ASCENDED AND IS NEVER COMING BACK DOWN. DADNAVI SUPREMACY.

Do I have ANY gripes with this movie? Yes, I do.

THEY FUCKING KILLED CAMILA. I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEST MOM GETTING THE DISNEY TREATMENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:/

Other than that though, this movie is a 10/10, go see it. Right now. I mean it.