#just emotional over dustin saying ‘you don’t know him like I do Max!’ that Dustin really KNOWS him ���️

[loveinhawkins]

thinking about the first time Dustin actually sees Eddie without any of his high school persona on show. They’re locking up the drama room after Hellfire, and Eddie realises that he’s left his acoustic guitar in one of the music classrooms, so Dustin follows him.

It’s then that they find a very young looking freshman sat by Eddie’s guitar—Dustin had thought that maybe he looked a little daunted starting Hawkins High, but she looks absolutely miserable.

They manage to piece together the fact that she had a violin lesson, went to the bathroom, then got completely disoriented on her way back, the teacher nowhere in sight; she stayed put, kept doubting herself about what was the way out to the parking lot.

And Eddie… he doesn’t poke fun, not even a little bit. He just picks up his guitar, says, “Don’t worry, this place’s a labyrinth sometimes,” and guides her out.

He doesn’t leave the parking lot until the girl finds her mom’s parked car, just keeps smiling even when the mom regards him with poorly concealed disdain.

That’s how Dustin knows Eddie’s kindness is the real deal: it’s not for show, not for the benefit of anyone else—not even himself. It just is.

So when the news is full of the death of Chrissy Cunningham, when others start whispering darkly about how they’re not surprised that Munson boy was no good, Dustin never once doubts Eddie.

He’s seen the very best of him, long before The Upside Down.

[steddiebang2024]

I was a teenage dirtbag  |  Mature  |  75k

Author: @hellfireloserclub

Artist: @academic-clown

Beta Reader: @kaypie91

[Link to fic]  |  [Link to art]

Pairings: Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington

Characters: Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington , Erica Sinclair, Dustim Henderson, Nancy Wheeler. 

Tags: Slowburn, Future Fic, Year 2000, Post-season Four, Bisexual Steve, Bisexual Eddie, Comedy /angst, Long distance friendship to lovers, Radio Host Eddie, Hairdresser Steve, Wedding fic.

Trigger Warnings: Sex, Alcohol, and Recreational drugs

↳ Keep reading below for a summary!

“So…” Dustin started.

“So what?” Eddie asked, fixing his eyes on the side of Dustin’s face, trying to work out what way this interrogation was going to go.  

“I don’t have my own ringtone, Wayne and Mom don’t, but Steve does?” Dustin avoided looking at him, staring at the overhead signs pointing to the short stay parking, acting like they weren’t at the airport at least twice a month with the family coming and going. 

“I thought it was funny,” he said in his own defense. 

“And I totally believe you.” It sounded like a question. 

“But?”

“But are you sure there's not more?” someone shouldn’t look so smug as they reverse in a multi story, yet here was Dustin excelling at it. When Eddie didn’t answer he cut off the engine turning to look at him, all signs pointed to the next few minutes being incredibly uncomfortable.  

“Spit it out, I have to get to the gate,” Eddie grumbled, he felt like he was under a microscope, his little brother's eyes boring into him.

“Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Steve?”  Eddie wanted to yell- yes, I just don’t know what? But he bit it down, this wasn’t the time to trigger a Dustin intervention. 

“Just because you can't procreate outside of the close knit circles you were dragged up in, doesn’t mean we all have to hook up within our little friend group.  You gotta stop trying to pair us all off dude, it's not cool. Remember when you used to keep trying to pair off Steve and Robin? How did that work out for you?” Eddie questioned. 

“In my defense-”

“No. Say less. Stop. I broke up with Yumi two weeks ago, I don’t need you to help, I don’t need your psychoanalyzing me with Max over the phone. I don’t need you to try and set me up with a rebound. I’m a big boy alright. I’m going to Boston to get stupidly drunk with Steve, talk shit about you all lovingly, and lament the fact that both me and him are probably gonna die old and alone.” He reached over the back of the seat and grabbed his duffle bag, before reaching over and tapping Dustin on the cheek. “But look at the plus side, if me and Stevie don’t bring a plus one to the wedding that will save you two meals and a headache with seating plans.”

“You make my resolve to not meddle in both of your love lives impossible, you know that right?” Dustin asked, leaning over the center console. 

“Cause you were doing an absolutely stellar job of it before this conversation?” Eddie closed the door behind him. “Dusty, I love you like you’re my own flesh and blood. But please, let this one go?” 

Dustin looked poised to say something else but Eddie didn’t have time for it. “If the words curiosity journey come out of your mouth, I’m not speaking to you for a month.”  Dustin snapped his mouth shut. “That’s it, save it for Applejack, I don’t want to know.”

Eddie gave the car a courtesy wave as he went through the doors of the airport, but he didn’t look back. He was pretty sure Dustin had hit the nail on the head with his observations, but as far as anyone was aware Steve was just his friend, and letting go of any control on that narrative was like letting a fox off in a hen house. It would be chaos. Although Eddie was starting to think it was a lost cause. This was so much easier when he and Steve hated each other, enemies to fuck buddies was a much easier story arch, with a lot less emotional baggage.

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 11

Part 10

Last Time: Eddie accidentally answered Dustin's phone

~~~

To say the past few months have been difficult would be putting it lightly. He wasn’t surprised like the rest of the Party had been when Eddie used a PI to track him down and show up on his and Robin’s doorstep unannounced. However, Steve was surprised when Eddie decided to stick around. It’s impacted the Party in ways he didn’t expect.

Everyone tip-toes around conversations with him in best attempts at not mentioning Eddie casually. Sure, that’s partially Steve’s fault since he’d initially asked them not to, but now that Eddie’s home it’s frankly ridiculous how Nancy will side-eye Jonathan during a story, forcing him to back track and say they had a ‘dinner guest’ over. Or the way Dustin stops mid-sentence and completely changes the subject.

He’d thought the worst part about Eddie sticking around was how it’s clearly split the Party into factions, which– according to horror movies, DnD, and Dustin– is never a good thing. Mike barely talks to Nancy or Dustin, who’ve both been banned from Steve and Robin’s home on Robin’s orders. It’s cordial between Max and Lucas and Dustin, but can be awkward at times. Wedding planning is the only exception to a cordial get together. 

Becky’s barely noticed a change, which he supposes makes sense since she doesn’t know about his history with Eddie. A pang of guilt strikes him every time the thought crosses his mind. He wishes he felt comfortable enough to open up to her about Eddie, about his parents, about his sexuality. Steve knows it isn’t fair to keep his cards so close to his chest, but he can’t help it. So he can’t really expect her to notice when he hasn’t given her all the information.

All of that bullshit was hard enough, but he’s adjusting. He’s made good progress at mending the Party factions, specifically with Dustin and Mike. Everything was fine. It’s just another part of Eddie he could shove away into the corners of his mind, and force everyone else to do the same. It was fine, he was good.

But then his Teddie’s voice rang through the phone like wind chimes on a summer breeze.

“‘Stevie?’”

Steve swipes his hands up his face and into his hair to pull tight at the strands. He’s surprised there aren't any wear marks on the floor he’s been pacing for the last half hour as he waits for Dustin to get here, even though he’d told him not to come. At least Robin isn’t home, neither him nor Dustin could survive her fury if she knew what was going on.

There’s a pounding on the front door that sets his teeth on edge. He’s told that twirp a thousand times he’ll knock the whole door down that way.

“Dustin,” Steve says exhausted and annoyed, “I thought I told you I wanted to be left alone.” Yet Steve leaves the door wide open behind him as he heads back into the living room.

“You hung up on me. You never hang up on me.”

Dustin plops down into his usual spot on the soft blue sofa. He’s holding one of Robin’s favorite blue, white, and green decorative pillows to his chest, his eyes just peeking out over the top like he’s hiding. 

He wants to sit next to the kid and comfort him, but Steve’s thoughts and emotions are a whirlpool he can’t navigate. So he continues to pace and avoids Dustin’s painfully apologetic glance. “I just need some space ok?”

“Steve, I know we all agreed a long time ago, but I really think you need to talk to someone about Eddie.”

Steve cringes at the name. It’s been so long since he’s heard someone say it out loud that his ears are ringing. “I do talk about it– him– what happened. I do talk about it, just not with you.”

Dustin flinches like he’s been slapped, but doesn’t retaliate, much to Steve’s relief. He can’t help lashing out. His hackles are up and Dustin knows it. “I don’t think Max is–”

“What’s wrong with talking to Max?”

The kid scoffs, exasperation apparent in his squinted eyes, and argues “it’s not like she’s going to give you an unbiased opinion. Max doesn’t like Becky, never has and probably never will. At least Robin and I finally gave her a chance after you proposed. So explain to me how talking to Max is better than literally anyone else?” He slams the pillow down next to him and the movement sets Steve off.

“Max,” Steve snaps, “is the only person who’s willing to hear me out and actually listen to what I’m saying, even if she doesn’t agree. She’s the only person who doesn’t act like they know what’s better for me than I do. I can talk about the bad and the good times with Ted– Eddie–  without scoffs and eye-rolling, or someone telling me I’m wearing ‘rose-colored glasses’. So don’t bullshit me about Max not liking Becky. You’re just jealous I’d rather talk to her instead of you.”

Fuck. 

Steve freezes in place and tugs at his hair again. He can’t make himself lift his gaze from the floor, stuck in a fog of panic. This entire situation is fucked, but he can’t bring himself to take it back. Maybe he could’ve worded it better. Maybe he can still apologize before he fucks up another good thing in his life. Before he pushes another loved one away because he’s too scared to have a hard conversation.

“You shouldn’t pull your hair.” Dustin says it by rote. His broken voice is enough to force Steve out of his daze. He sits next to him and wraps Dustin tight against his chest.

Dustin sniffles. “Are you mad he’s living with me? Because I’ll kick him out if you’re–”

“No,” Steve interrupts. “No I’m glad he’s back in your life, I know how important he is to you and I’m glad you’re getting that back. He’s my ex, but he’s still everyone’s family, and for that I’m happy he’s home. The Party deserves to have him around.”

“Eddie’s a friend, but you’re my big brother. I love you, and you’re my family, no matter what.”

Steve’s eyes mist over. He kisses the top of Dustin’s curly head, and holds him out at arms length to look him in the eye. “I love you too. And I’m sorry I snapped at you, that was super shitty.”

The kid smiles at him. It’s a small thing, but it’s genuine.

“And I am glad you’re talking to Max,” Dustin adds on. “But if you talk about it with more people, maybe it would help? Like, different perspectives and stuff.”

“I know. I just– I’m not sure I know how to do that with other people. It’s been a while since I’ve tried.”

“Well, why do you want to talk to him?” Steve should’ve known the kid couldn’t help but ask, especially with how their phone call ended. Months ago, when he’d told Max to get in contact with Eddie, Steve just thought he wanted closure.

After hearing his name whispered soft and broken from Eddie’s lips, a deep-seated craving rooted within him burst out as he pleaded with Dustin to give the phone back. He’d been drowning for over a year and Eddie’s voice was like a forced breath of fresh air into his lungs, a crushing pressure on his chest that leaves bruises and broken bones but brings life. 

Steve felt alive. 

That was the moment the panic set in. Anxiety, self-loathing, and shame crested higher and higher until– he was back in their home, screams ripped from his throat as he swung Eddie’s guitar into the wall over and over and over until their bedroom walls were littered with holes, scraps of wood scattered across the floor, slivered into Steve’s bare feet.

Except now it’s not despair or anger that haunts his dreams– that’d be too easy. The dreams that linger into the light of day are always soft and mundane. They’re dreams of him tucked into Eddie’s side as they watch TV, or Eddie smiling at him across the kitchen while they cook. Moments Steve knows he can never have again.

Unless. Maybe.

Dustin might not be able to read his mind like Robin, but Steve’s never been able to mask his emotions well when they bubble to the surface. “Steve, no, he’s not–.”

“But he’s trying, right? Everyone seems happy he’s home, like he’s getting better.”

“Better doesn’t mean he’s good enough for you, Steve! Sure, yeah, he’s genuinely working on himself and he really is changing, but that doesn’t undo what he did to you. None of us have forgotten that, and I don’t want you to either.”

He pulls his hands away from Dustin’s shoulders to wipe his sleeve across his face and sure enough, it comes back wet. 

“Fuck,” Steve chuckles, tone dark and self-deprecating, “didn’t know I could still do that.” Sniffling into his sleeve, he lets out a ragged laugh, long and heavy until it morphs into an angry, choked off howl of frustration.

Dustin’s quick to pull Steve into him, arms wrapped around any inch of him he can reach while Steve heaves deep, uneven breaths. Without someone’s eyes on him, it’s easier to open the floodgates, but he’s held back the truth for so long that the whole dam bursts. 

“Dustin, I miss him so fucking much. That’s why I don’t know how to talk about this with anyone. No one wants to hear how I still wear his old guitar pick necklace to bed every night, or how no one’s ever made me laugh harder than he has. I never thought I’d see him again, but now that he’s home, there’s nothing I want more in this world than to hold his hand, to hear him say my name again or see him smile. I want to be with her– I know she loves me. But it’s not the same. I miss him and I hate myself for it. I hate how much I’m still in love with him.” 

Steve’s not sure how long he hides with his face pressed into Dustin’s shoulder, but by the time he shifts away, the sky is painted in cotton candy pinks and blues as the sun slips below the skyline. Worried he’ll find pity carved into Dustin’s features, he avoids his gaze altogether as he stands to move. 

The sound of padded footsteps follow him across the living room, down the hall, and into the galley kitchen just wide enough for two. Steve pours two glasses of water and sets it down next to the dishwasher, directly across from the oven where he sets his own. They hop up in unison, kicking their feet so they end up between the other’s knees on the outswing. A calm familiarity washes over him, like instead of dreading Dustin’s response, they’re just waiting for the next batch of cookies.

“He’s writing a new album,” Dustin says softly, even if it echoes in the hollow of Steve’s chest. “On the acoustic.”

Steve’s neck cracks with how fast he turns to look at Dustin, who smirks lovingly at the shock that must be written in his eyes. “Mike’s acoustic? He pulled it out of storage?” 

Dustin nods, eyes still shining wet in the light with his eyebrows raised like he can’t quite believe it either. “I’m trying to convince Mike to come over so he can see for himself.” He clears his throat and wipes his eyes before saying, “sometimes I can hear what he’s working on and– it’s different. Softer.”

Steve smiles as Dustin tells him everything and anything he can about Eddie since he’s been home. Finally, he’s found another person he doesn’t have to pretend with, someone who won’t tip-toe around the Eddie-sized elephant in the room that Steve constantly wants to ask about. 

An hour later as he walks Dustin out, one foot on the welcome mat, a last confession pours from his chest. “He’s not the only one that fucked up. I– I did too. Made mistakes.”

“Well,” Dustin says, plain as day, so normal and even-toned that Steve feels his lungs sigh in relief, “Max and I are here to talk about that too, whenever you’re ready.”

Steve goes to bed early that night. He crawls under the covers and reaches all the way to the back corner of his nightstand drawer where his fingers clutch the small, plastic triangle. The worn leather string slips over his neck easily. It sits lighter on his chest than normal. 

There’s still a roiling sensation in his gut, but instead of burying his face in his pillow he reaches out for his phone, pulling it under the covers with him. His fingers move without his permission, automatic and self-indulgent. The light is bright against his eyes as he stares back at the string of numbers he wishes he didn’t have memorized. He contemplates long enough for the screen to dim, then eventually turn black. Taking it as a sign, Steve rolls over and is plagued with soft, mundane dreams.

~~~

Part 12

Tag List!!!

@sadisticaltarts @5ammi90 @blacklegsanji21 @jaytriesstrangerthings @thewickedkat

@stripey82 @a-lovely-craziness

[hellfireloserclub]

I was a teenage dirtbag | 75k | M

Author : @hellfireloserclub Artist :@academic-clown ( @acaademicqueer if it ever gets un nuked) Beta : @kaypie91

Sorry it's late ! Ao3 was out!

Nothing but love for the wonderful artwork @academic-clown has done for this fic. The detail and the love in this art is wonderful.

And thankyou kaypie for the wonderful beta work.

“So…” Dustin started.

“So what?” Eddie asked, fixing his eyes on the side of Dustin’s face, trying to work out what way this interrogation was going to go.

“I don’t have my own ringtone, Wayne and Mom don’t, but Steve does?” Dustin avoided looking at him, staring at the overhead signs pointing to the short stay parking, acting like they weren’t at the airport at least twice a month with the family coming and going.

“I thought it was funny,” he said in his own defense.

“And I totally believe you.” It sounded like a question.

“But?”

“But are you sure there's not more?” someone shouldn’t look so smug as they reverse in a multi story, yet here was Dustin excelling at it.

When Eddie didn’t answer he cut off the engine turning to look at him, all signs pointed to the next few minutes being incredibly uncomfortable.

“Spit it out, I have to get to the gate,” Eddie grumbled, he felt like he was under a microscope, his little brother's eyes boring into him.

“Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Steve?” Eddie wanted to yell- yes, I just don’t know what? But he bit it down, this wasn’t the time to trigger a Dustin intervention.

“Just because you can't procreate outside of the close knit circles you were dragged up in, doesn’t mean we all have to hook up within our little friend group. You gotta stop trying to pair us all off dude, it's not cool. Remember when you used to keep trying to pair off Steve and Robin? How did that work out for you?” Eddie questioned.

“In my defense-”

“No. Say less. Stop. I broke up with Yumi two weeks ago, I don’t need you to help, I don’t need your psychoanalyzing me with Max over the phone. I don’t need you to try and set me up with a rebound. I’m a big boy alright. I’m going to Boston to get stupidly drunk with Steve, talk shit about you all lovingly, and lament the fact that both me and him are probably gonna die old and alone.” He reached over the back of the seat and grabbed his duffle bag, before reaching over and tapping Dustin on the cheek.

“But look at the plus side, if me and Stevie don’t bring a plus one to the wedding that will save you two meals and a headache with seating plans.”

“You make my resolve to not meddle in both of your love lives impossible, you know that right?” Dustin asked, leaning over the center console.

“Cause you were doing an absolutely stellar job of it before this conversation?” Eddie closed the door behind him. “Dusty, I love you like you’re my own flesh and blood. But please, let this one go?”

Dustin looked poised to say something else but Eddie didn’t have time for it.

“If the words curiosity journey come out of your mouth, I’m not speaking to you for a month.” Dustin snapped his mouth shut, “That’s it, save it for Applejack, I don’t want to know.”

Eddie gave the car a courtesy wave as he went through the doors of the airport, but he didn’t look back.

He was pretty sure Dustin had hit the nail on the head with his observations, but as far as anyone was aware Steve was just his friend, and letting go of any control on that narrative was like letting a fox off in a hen house. It would be chaos.

Although Eddie was starting to think it was a lost cause. This was so much easier when he and Steve hated each other, enemies to fuck buddies was a much easier story arch, with a lot less emotional baggage.

[manic-pixie-aquarius]

Soooo I haven't been active on here but here's a snippet of a short story I started writing last month! Idk, lemme know if any of you find it interesting bc I'm thinking of refining it and then putting it on Ao3

It's mostly from Mike's POV but switches to Will's at one point too. Takes place in a theoretical post-s5 Snow Ball? And this is post Mileven breaking up so Mike is reaaaally deep in his pining over Will and the painting hasn't been fully addressed yet bc things just got back to normal and everyone's tryna have fun

Here:

I must look like a sulking idiot sitting here at this empty table while all my friends are having fun, but I can’t bring myself to enjoy the moment, there is still a lot on my mind and I can’t believe everyone is acting like nothing happened. Max and Lucas are dancing together again and after the song ends El comes back to dance with Dustin. 

I feel eyes on me. 

“Don’t feel like dancing?” Will asks me. 

I look up, startled that I didn’t hear him coming. I just nod no. He takes a seat next to me. 

“Me neither” he says with a scoff. 

I smile, maybe for the first time tonight.

“I’m honestly too tired after all that setting up” he continues. 

“It looks nice” I say, taking in my surroundings as if I haven’t done so already multiple times tonight. It does look neat. 

Will smiles.  

“So, what about you? Why are you here? Dustin and Lucas seem to be having fun over-” he looks back to where they were dancing earlier but now Dustin and El are dancing alongside Lucas and Max.  “oh” he says, then gives me a reassuring look, “sorry.” 

I shake my head, “it’s okay.” 

Some girl approaches us and we both look up. 

“Um, excuse me I was wondering if you’d like to dance” she says reaching a hand out flirtatiously towards Will. 

“Oh! Uh, sure” he says, and gets up, and they slow dance to a slow song. 

Hey, if we can solve any problem 

Then why do we lose so many tears? 

Oh and so you go again 

When the leading man appears 

I do another scan of the room and everyone is dancing, some couples kissing, probably for the first time. Jonathan is very reluctantly dancing along to the song because Nancy has forced him to. Ew, romance. I have to focus on something else. I look to the punch table and see Robin and Vickie talking, laughing. Everyone is having a good time, its honestly sickening. I can’t help but look back at Will and suddenly the lack of emotion I’ve been dealing with all day turns into a pit at the center of my stomach as We Belong by Pat Benatar plays. I have to go. I get up and rush through the crowd and push the double door to the gym maybe a little bit too aggressively because some couple on the other side of the door have these offended faces and the guy says, “what the heck?!” and he has bright pink lipstick marks on his face. But then he sees the tears in my eyes and decides to leave it alone. I walk towards the bathroom. 

“Why didn’t you do something?” his girlfriend squeaks. 

“Did you see his face? Probably got rejected. Babe, you know how I feel about that, you rejected me a year before I got these sick guns” he says and flexes. I roll my eyes and then as soon as I get into the men’s bathroom, I cross my arms on the sink and put my head down and start to cry, hoping nobody else is in here. I hear a toilet flush and someone walks out of the stall, great. At least it’ll be a stranger and not one of my friends. 

“Wheeler?” I hear in a familiar voice. Steve. I try to stabilize myself before lifting my head. I look up to him and he says “ohh, shit.” 

To Be Continued...LOL (I have a lot more written and the next part is my favorite because it's Steve giving Mike advice but...you'll have to wait)

[kiirotoao]

Guys.

I think I cracked the case to why many people (namely the GA) don’t like Mike. And it’s because his character arc is external, rarely internal, compared to other characters.

In season 1, one of the most memorable things to me that stood out about Mike was his ability to communicate. He was straightforward, very level-headed, and tried to reason with the unknown. He made his thoughts known, and they were often pretty understandable to those around him, namely Lucas, Dustin, and especially El. His ability to advocate for her really helped bridge the gaps between their world and the Upside Down. Even in just the really small details, Mike prioritized good communication, like when he told/reminded Lucas to end on the Walkie-Talkie with “over” when he was done talking. Mike is also incredibly emotional this season, and we see clearly times of his frustration, sadness, and joy (all of which are very often due to Will, but I will hold off on going in depth in that department lest I ramble about Byler more than I already do). All of this to say - Mike’s focus is on 1) keeping that group mentality, 2) helping El, and 3) finding Will, all things outside of himself.

Then, right off the bat, what’s the problem that Mike faces in season 2? Lack of communication with El. He doesn’t know where she is and he can’t - and arguably doesn’t ever - see her, not even in the void. I can imagine that it’s tough not knowing if a loved one is even alive, so of course Mike is stricken with worry until he sees her again. I think that in season 2, right from the start, we see his mental health take a toll on him as he starts to worry about things going wrong with d’Art, with Max, with Will, with the tunnels, everything. I just think that from a general standpoint, Mike has become more irritable and anxious because he’s lost someone before. And here’s where his attachment to El starts to get much stronger. When he finally sees her again, he’s already scared that he’s about to lose her as she goes off to the gate. All season long, he’s attached at the hip to Will, frustrated about not being able to see El, and generally pretty easily upset by others. All things that I think are a result of internal struggle, but we only see it manifest outwardly. He does get that shed scene moment with Will, but honestly, that’s about it when it comes to Mike’s transparency that season.

Now enter season 3. The conflict right from the start with El is… painful, to say the least. He lies to her, doesn’t try to explain himself until it’s been far too long, and he even calls on Lucas to defend his bs. He’s hiding something, and it’s no longer grief-related. Maybe it is, but we don’t see it. Mike continues to work with the group mentality and he comes up with the sauna test, assumes the worst with the Mind Flayer (and is correct about the spreading of its power), and kinda a throwaway detail, but I can even assume that it was his idea to push the car over using the metal posts in the last episode based on that random comment, “Told you. Physics.” So here’s where things get interesting. Mike is smart, he still is, and he still uses a lot of good communication and strives to connect gaps where they’re needed, and he still often wields the Walkie-Talkie. But when it comes to his relationship with El, Will, too, he falters. Before this season, he was completely in line with the two. But now, in season 3, we never see a clear reason why he thinks what he’s thinking, especially considering the sloth/speed in which he reconnects with El/Will. It is impossible to pinpoint any direct emotional moments from Mike this season because besides the ending scene overlayed over Hopper’s letter, we never truly see Mike let down his guard like he did before. Nor take the leap, like he did in season 1. He’s closed off and we cannot fully see why, not until you begin to interpret down to a deeper, inferential level. Here’s where I think the roadblock especially begins for Mike’s character, because we don’t know what he’s thinking anymore.

Carry this into season 4. Mike seems completely closed off to us, the audience. Now’s a good time for me to say that Finn’s a great actor, though, because truly, we get to see a large array of emotions in Mike’s expressions. And by all means of art and creative media, we don’t necessarily need to hear Mike’s thoughts to know his thoughts, sometimes. But it still goes to show, based on how he behaved in prior seasons, his connection with others and his drive seems completely lacking. He’s falling behind in school, he seems so emotionally distant from El, and, come to think about it, he’s emotionally distant overall. Even with his family and Lucas. I think that a simple explanation to why he’s acting this way is because he’s forced to grow up and grow up apart from his girlfriend and best friend. He’s not happy. And seeing that manifest externally often causes the isolation of internal things. Think about Max’s story but in Mike’s shoes - except we don’t get to see Mike’s struggles. His one emotional outlier is with Will, however, who he openly expresses his thoughts to and even finds a chance to smile again with. And even though he’s largely not in Hawkins anymore, we still see him use his ingenuity. He figures out the Nina number. He knows where Suzie lives. He can hone in when he’s needed. But even then, no matter what he does, he’s unmistakably hampered. He can’t keep up communication when he’s separated from Hawkins. He’s separated from El. Once again, he’s miserable. His one constant is Will, but even then, he buys the lie in the van scene. So, in the words of Finn Wolfhard himself,

(Caption: “He’s just such an idiot.”) I really think that Mike is trying his best. But ever since the start of season 3, so, essentially, half of the time we’ve seen him onscreen, he’s been closing himself off to the audience. And he might just be an idiot, but that doesn’t translate to how he thinks under pressure. Emotionally, perhaps, he’s an idiot. But is he a total idiot? I don’t think so. His seeming idiocy simply comes out so strongly in the later seasons because we cannot draw reason to his behavior like we could before.

Compare this to Lucas who has several dear moments where he opens up to Max season to season. Compare this to Dustin, who doesn’t ever really hide his thoughts. Compare this to Will, whose life we’ve seen the ups and downs all the time. Compare this to Max and her beautiful arc from introduction to depression. Compare this to El and her entire story of finding who she is. Hell, compare this to Steve, who has several glimpses of his life and struggles season to season. Compare this to Robin’s coming out and her struggle with Vickie. Compare this to Jonathan and his talks with Nancy and Argyle. Compare this to Nancy and the constant dilemmas of love and respect. I could go on and on. The characters are written with an emotional story in mind. So if Mike is one of them, who’s to say that his struggle isn’t something to be revealed for season 5?

And now, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t bring this all home with Will. Who has been a consistent source of emotional vulnerability for Mike? Who does Mike let his guard down around? Who does Mike consistently pursue and amend any wrongs with near as soon as possible? Who considers Mike to be the heart? If we’re gonna complain about Mike being closed off or annoying, I get it. I want to see more of his thoughts, too. And the remedy? It’s none other than the one right beside him. The one person who’s never going to give up on him. I think that the only answer to melt that heart is Will Byers.

(So yeah. I can’t wait for Byler to be endgame and for all this discourse about Mike’s true character to end because of it ☺️)

[justmy-account]

Runaway Max thoughts

Suspicious Minds thoughts

Runaway Max is written by Brenna Yovanoff and it’s an official Stranger Things novel. It’s written from the point of view of Max Mayfield and it takes place during season 2(late October-early November 1984). It talks about Max’s family struggles. Don’t forget that this is secondary canon, so don’t take anything from this book as 100% canon.

i just took out some parts of the book i found interesting and wrote them down in bullet points

Max’s mom doesn’t like when she spends money on videogames, so she usually plays them when she’s with her dad

her dad doesn’t have a “real job”, he usually works as repairman or makes fake IDs

he cant keep a job because “theres too many rules for him”, and this makes him super relatable to max, they have a lot in common in general

Max liked Terminator, especially Sarah Connor, but she’s disappointed that no women she knows is badass like her

b4 she met the party, she was skating once and fell, and Joyce was nearby and asked her if everythings okay

when Max met Billy for the first time(in April of 1984), she considered him and his car the coolest thing in the world

when he was being mean to her, at first she thought he’s just teasing her

after her parents got divorced, her dad moved from San Diego to LA

when she heard that they’re moving to Hawkins, she tried to run away to LA

Neil(Billy’s dad) was different that other guys Maxs mom dated, because he had a good income, was good with money, and just seemed nice

they met the bank where both of them worked, he even got her flowers for their first date, which none of her previous boyfriends did

Maxs mom was scared of letting her do “dangerous stuff”, that’s one of the reasons she diverced her dad

the first time she “found out what neil actually is” was three weeks after they got married and they were having dinner together, maxs mom said that max could go to summer camp, but when max said she doesn’t want to go, neil started yelling at her and sent her away from the table. after that billy came over to her and said “a person like him cannot be a dad. not for me, not for you.”

max wanted to bring a halloween mask to school, but billy warned her no one will have one

she likes movies about serial killers, because they could be real(she had michael myers mask for halloween that year)(she would be listening to true crime podcasts okay)

she likes halloween(her second favorite holiday after Christmas) because it makes her feel like shes part of something bigger than herself

when lucas and dustin asked her to join them, she didn’t know if they ment it

her friends in cali were Nate, Ben and Eddie

she likes The Go-Go’s, Beach Boys and Sandals

max admitts that billy sometimes can be fun, for example when he takes her to the car service

max can read emotions orfigure out who’s lying very well

during summer break, billy got arrested bc he and his friends sneaked to a construction site

billy and his friends wayne and sid listen to Metallica and Ratt

once they went to a forest with max and found a dead cat there and made it a “viking funeral”(they set the cat on fire)

when she scared the party during trick-or-treating, it was the first time she laughed since they moved here

will reminds her of her friend nate, the quiet type of person that older guys make fun of

maxs mom is that kind of person that desperately wants to believe everything they say to her, so she gets lied to and scammed very easily(mostly by her boyfriends)

max thinks that making fun of will bc “he came back to life” is stupid, bc if he’d really come back to life, he’d be like a superhero

max cant make friends very well, or to pretend to be friendly

“i was showing off, but sometimes you have to show off so people perceive you as a person, not just another girl”

the book talks about sexism a lot and it has few great thoughts in it, but there are often times parts where max puts down other girls for wearing skirts, for example

once billy gave max a cigarette and her mom got super mad, but didn’t tell neil, not that she was scared of billy, she was scared for billy

the first time max saw neil beat billy, she yelled at him to stop, neil said that he’s disappointed that he raised a son who needs to have a little girl to stand up for himself, so when max offered him help after this, he always sent her away

some of maxs friends started avoiding certain hangout spots because they didn’t want to run into Billy while they’re there with her

billy broke her friends Nates arm when they asked him to leave them alone when they were playing

Billy convinced adults that it was just an accident, that he was “showing him some move that Hulk Hogan does, but his arm slipped and it just happened”

after billy saw max at the arcade with lucas, he ran over her board with his car(if you remember, she was then fixing when lucas came over in the show)

after this, max decided to run away again, while her parents’ll go shopping

but lucas came to their house and told her that he has proof, so she goes with him instead

also, guys, this book is so full of lumax moments, why are they so cute omg

like when max scares the party at halloween, she thinks its “kinda cute” how he got scared

the rest of the book was pretty much just the s2 finale from maxs pov

max thinks nancy so cool(she fucking is)

”i knew that girls can be tough as guys, but i used to think that the only way to achieve that is to be exactly like them. nancy didnt look that she was trying to copy steve or hopper”

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FUCK MISOGYNY AKFJSJFBAJGNJXF

(about mike)” sometimes, people are just sad, even tho theyre acting like and idiot”

when billy came over and started beating steve, she was the only one who knew how far this could go, so she sedated him

ehhh thats pretty much it

i know that probably the way i wrote this is chaotic and doesnt make much sense

but i liked the book, i read it in one day

thanks for reading

waiting for season 5

have a lovely day

[andiwriteordie]

hello andi! for the mini prompts, some platonic snarky madcleric gossiping w each other if you would be so inclined? xx

lark!!! oh my god i love madcleric so i am OBSESSED with this prompt!!! they are Best Friends to me, okay? so have this little ficlet!

(also this isn't explicitly stated, but this is set in the same universe as let our walls cave in in case anybody cares hehe)

—

swear i don't love the drama

Wednesdays are Will’s new favorite day of the week.

Okay, that’s maybe a bit of an exaggeration, and Will knows if he tells Mike or really anyone else in the Party that Wednesdays have become his favorite day of the week, every single one of his friends will throw a temper tantrum. Especially when they learn the reason why.

But hey, Will can’t help it. The others can get over it. 

Because Wednesday afternoons at 3 PM are for one person and one person only.

Max Mayfield.

See, the two of them have a new tradition. Every Wednesday afternoon, he and Max will drive over with Rosie the rottweiler to the local coffee shop, buy themselves iced coffees (surprisingly, they have the same exact order), and sit down at the same table near the back of the coffee shop. If someone is sitting in their spot, Max will make up some excuse to guilt them into moving. Rosie the rottweiler even bares her teeth sometimes for an extra dramatic flare.

And yes, Will had been absolutely mortified the first time it had happened, but then Max had joked that the world still owes them both reparations for… you know, saving the world and ending up with a lifetime’s worth of physical, emotional, and mental trauma. The least the citizens of the world could do was allow them to sit in their favorite spot.

So, that had been that. 

Very quickly, Wednesdays had become Will’s favorite day, and every week, he finds himself counting down the days until he and Max are able to hang out again. He consistently comes back from their little coffee shop dates with a grin on his face, and every time, Mike always wants to know what new gossip Will has learned this week.

…

Oh, yeah. 

That’s the other thing about the Wednesday Will and Max coffee dates.

They use this time to talk about everything… and everyone.

��Okay, so catch me up,” Will says, after he’s helped Max into her own chair and taken a seat across from her. “Who is Steve dating now?”

A grin forms on Max’s face, and she takes a sip of her iced coffee. “Some guy who’s going to the same college as him and Robin,” she says. “According to Robin, this guy acts just like Eddie. She says the resemblance is uncanny.”

Ah, Eddie Munson. Unfortunately, Will had never gotten the chance to meet Eddie, but from what Mike and Dustin have both shared with him, Will thinks he… probably would’ve gotten along with him. At the very least, they could’ve bonded over DnD and maybe shared some music recommendations with each other.

Plus, from what Robin has told him about Eddie, it might’ve been nice getting to know an older, gay teenager because when he was young and still in the closet. Maybe he and Eddie didn’t have that much in common besides DnD and liking guys, but still… Will thinks he probably would’ve liked having Eddie as a friend.

“I mean, that could just be a coincidence, right?” Will asks curiously. “Also… I didn’t realize Steve was bi. Good for him.”

“I don’t think he did either,” Max chuckles, stirring her coffee absently. “And look, I’d think it was a coincidence too, but here’s where it gets weird, Will.”

She pauses for dramatic effect, and Will rolls his eyes. Max likes to do that when she’s about to share some really juicy gossip. It’s a bit ridiculous, but honestly, Will loves it. If they’re going to gossip like they’re Karen Wheeler and all the moms of the Hawkins parent-teacher association, they might as well act like it too.

“Guess who the guy looks like, Will,” Max says with a grin.

Will raises an eyebrow. “Who?”

“Jonathan!” Max exclaims, and Will damn near spits out his coffee. 

“No fucking way,” he says, staring at his best friend in shock. “Wait, so… Steve is dating a guy… who looks like my brother but has the personality of Eddie? Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Max nods. “Robin says it’s the craziest thing, but she thinks it makes sense. I mean, your brother’s an attractive guy, so that makes sense, right? And I don’t really remember that much from the week that Eddie joined our little group—you know… ‘cause I was worried about being brutally killed and stuff—but from what Robin can remember, Steve and Eddie really hit it off.”

“Damn.” Will leans back in his chair, still reeling from this new information. “That’s… damn, okay. Well, good for Steve… I’m glad he’s figuring this out and stuff! But… Jonathan and Eddie.”

“Jonathan and Eddie,” Max confirms, taking another sip of her iced coffee. “Crazy, right?” 

“Didn’t Eddie hold a knife to Steve’s throat?” Will recalls, thinking back to the stories Dustin had shared with him from that week. “And I’m pretty sure Jonathan once beat the shit out of Steve the week I went missing.”

Max purses her lips together. “Sounds like he has a type,” she remarks, and Will nearly chokes on his drink again.

“Max!��

“I’m just saying!” Max laughs, leaning back against her chair. “It sounds like Steve’s type is…”

Her voice trails off, and slowly, a look of horror forms on Max’s face. “Oh no.”

Will raises an eyebrow. “What? What’s wrong with you?”

“If Steve’s type is who guys who could beat him up, that means…” Max shudders. “Holy shit, Will. Steve got the shit beat out of him by Billy the first year I moved to Hawkins.”

“No,” Will says flatly. “No, absolutely not.”

“I’m just saying—”

“Steve Harrington’s an idiot,” Will interrupts, making a face at his best friend, “but I refuse to believe that he’d have a thing for your asshole step-brother. He fucking hit Billy with a car, remember? And he confessed later that he didn’t even know Billy was flayed at the time. No way Steve had a thing for him. He’s too good for Billy.”

Max exhales; then, she takes another sip of her iced coffee. “You’re right, you’re right,” she agrees. “God, I thought we were about to have to drive across the country to knock some sense into Steve. Rosie doesn’t like long car rides, so that would’ve sucked.”

Will laughs, and he reaches over, patting Rosie’s head gently. “Well, we would’ve taken lots of breaks, right, Ro?” he says with a grin. Rosie lifts her head slightly, and she wags her tail, clearly excited to be receiving attention from Will. “Anything for you, Rosie. Aw, you know I love you!”

“Dude, stop trying to steal my dog,” Max complains, kicking Will’s shin lightly. 

“Not my fault your dog likes me so much,” Will retorts. 

“Byers, I know you feed her scraps under the table sometimes,” Max deadpans. “It is absolutely your fault she likes you so much. Can’t believe you’re trying to steal a service dog from a blind girl. That’s just a new level of fucked up.”

“You’re a drama queen,” Will deadpans in return. “And here I thought I was dating the world’s biggest drama queen. Nope. That honor goes to Lucas and El.”

A grin forms on Max’s face at the mention of her partners, and she reaches down, petting Rosie’s head. “I wear that title like a badge of honor,” she says dryly. “Especially since it means I beat Mike at something. I know that he probably hates that.”

Will rolls his eyes; then, he takes a drink of his ice coffee, leaning his head on his hand and looking at his best friend. “Okay, so, besides the Steve drama, did you learn anything else from Robin?” he asks curiously. “Because Mike and I learned some really interesting things from Nancy and Jonathan the other day.”

The grin on Max’s face just grows, and she leans in closer to Will. “Robin doesn’t think Steve’s little fling is going to last,” she reports. “Vicki agrees with her, and they’ve got a bet going on for how long Steve will be with the Jonathan/Eddie doppelganger. But other than that… that’s all I’ve got. What do you have for me, Byers?”

Will smirks, sipping on his iced coffee. “Okay, are you ready for this?”

“Hell yeah. I was born ready.”

Will just laughs, and he smiles at his best friend, before recalling the gossip he’d heard from his brother: “So, Nancy sometimes still talks to Murray, right? And they were on the phone the other day, and apparently…”

[kaittalkstoomuch]

Hey yall! Happy Friday/Saturday! ❤️‍🔥

‘86 // Chapter Twenty-Seven: One Way or Another

MIDNIGHT OF MARCH 24, 1986

“Nancy!” I scream as I run back to Steve and a frozen Nancy. Panic ensues above us as Dustin shouts “GET THE MUSIC NOW!” The problem? We don’t know what her favorite song is. Though, I can probably guess it would be “Africa” by Toto. Knowing Eddie, though, I don’t think he has the cassette tape.

“Nancy, it’s gonna be okay.” I speak to her calmly as if she can hear me. I turn to a frightened Steve. “Steve, she’s going to be okay.” He takes a deep breath. “ Trust me, she will. She’s Nancy fucking Wheeler.” Steve nods at my statement before we look at her and examine her eyes. They’re cloudy. It’s as if she’s a ghost. “Nancy, it’s Roxie and Steve, we’re here with you.” Steve holds her while I hear the chaos above.

I think about earlier, finally coming to terms with my sexuality. Talking about Barb. Thinking of what sick, twisted thing Henry is using against Nancy. Is it Barb’s death and her guilt? Is it Steve and Jonathan? It sure as hell isn’t me, so I start shaking her a bit.

“He is not going to get you, okay? Barb’s death was not your fault.” I nod to Steve. Steve has so much panic and it’s evident he’s still in love with her. You can see it in his eyes. The Steve Harrington I once knew as an asshole has changed. Transformed.

“Steve… She’s going to be okay…” I look up at the gaping hole hearing the continuous commotion. “THEY JUST NEED TO FIND SOMETHING!” I scream to everyone at the top. “WE NEED MUSIC!” Robin yells as I hear Eddie scream back, “THIS IS MUSIC!” Knowing him, it’s Iron Maiden.

I begin to notice something, think of something. This would be the point where she’d be levitating. I think back to when Vecna had me. Certainly there had to be a point of levitation right? “Steve.” I speak as calmly as possible. “What?” “She’s not levitating. By now, she would be… when Vecna had me.. it was as if he was toying with my emotions. Like a game. Taunting me. A cat, mouse game.”

Steve furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “What?” “With me, he used my father leaving, Eddie, and my sexuality against me. I’m not saying that this is what he’s doing to her… but…” I start shaking and he takes notice. “I got her.” He speaks softly as I step away from her and he takes over. “I’m sorry.” I say absentmindedly.

“For what?” He asks. “For not ever liking you. For not giving you a chance at first. When you two were together.” “Rox, it’s fine.” “No… it’s not. I’ve treated you so unfairly because I thought I could be better for Nancy… I loved her… like, so breathtakingly in love. I was jealous of you. I was unfair to you, dude. I was an asshole and then my brother literally started idolizing you. I had to tolerate you.”

Steve stifles a cocky chuckle. “You ‘tolerate’ me?” “Yes.” I laugh because I actually grew quite fondly of Harrington. And also because this really isn’t the time or place for a heart to heart, but if this somehow eases Nancy, so be it. “Actually, I consider you one of my best friends. You’ve changed quite a bit.” I smile at him. “Go for it.” I caught him off guard.

“What?” “Go… For… It… Do I have to spell it out for you dude? Win Nancy back. Fight for her.” Steve looks at Nancy in his arms. “But she’s with-“ “It’s not my business, but do it for me. Fight like hell.” Steve looks at me conflicted, until Nancy comes to and Steve catches her as she falls down.

“Holy shit.” I kneel beside her and Steve. Steve is holding her as she panics and cries. “I'll let the others know.” “Rox.” Steve asks. “Yeah?” “Thank you.” “Yeah.” I quietly smiled at both of them before climbing up the rope.

*****

We’re all in Max’s living room, knowing Eddie’s trailer wasn’t safe most likely. Steve is across from Nancy, sitting next to Eddie. I sit on the floor with Robin keeping a watchful eye on Nancy. Erica is sitting next to Eddie. Lucas and Max are standing next to each other and Dustin is standing by Robin and I.

“He showed me something that hasn’t happened yet.” She recounts soberly. Eddie looks at me intensely. “I saw a dark cloud… spreading over Hawkins. The town on fire. Dead soldiers… this giant creature with a gaping mouth. And this creature wasn’t alone.” She recounts.

“There were so many monsters. An army. And they were coming into Hawkins.” Max and I exchange a worried glance. “Into our neighborhoods. Our homes. And then, he showed me my mom, Holly, Mike… and they.. they were all dead.”

Steve pipes up in an attempt to comfort her. “Okay, but he was just trying to scare you Nance.” I glare at Steve, then back at Nancy, understanding what he means. The game… but there’s more to the story.

“Right, I mean it’s not real.” “Not yet, but there was something else.” Here we go. “He showed me gates. Four gates. Spreading across Hawkins. And these gates, they looked like the one in Eddie’s trailer, but, they didn’t stop growing. This wasn’t the Upside Down. This was Hawkins. Our home.”

“Vecna works in fours.” Max says. We all focus our attention on her. She mentions the grandfather clock chimes four times. “He’s been telling us his plan this whole time.” Lucas says and we all look frightenedly at him. “Four murders would be the equivalent to four gates.” I mutter as Dustin somberly says, “he’s one kill away from success.”

Max goes to dial the phone, presumably for the Byers, but does not succeed. “The line’s busy…” she says. “Whatever is happening in California, is connected to the Upside Down. We have to go back down in the Upside Down.” “NO!” “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” “Nope. Nope.” Everyone except for me protests. Instead, I observe Nancy’s bravery.

She just had this massive encounter with Henry that must’ve been terrifying. Only to want to brave out the Upside Down again. My admiration grows, not in a sexual way, but that’s the Nancy fucking Wheeler I remember. In the midst of my admiration, Robin and Steve argue that Vecna would not be a fair fight, which I do agree with. But, then again, we’re smarter than he thinks.

Dustin then mentions Vecna is a number just like Eleven, One, so he could have the same weaknesses. They’re bodies can open to attack when they travel in the void. We could attack him in the Creel house, the attic. Robin states that even if it worked, we don’t know who he’d attack next.

“I’m still his target, even after escaping. If I ditch my Walkman, I can draw back his attention.” “Wait Rox, were you-“ “NO!” Eddie shouts, putting his foot down. Steve and I look at each other in amusement. “I will not let him get her. Or anyone…” Eddie growls. “He was doing that to screw with her head. We need to nail this bastard. He will not touch anyone ever again.” Nancy and I look at each other knowingly.

“But Vecna will kill Max.” Lucas adds. “I can survive him as long as we can find a way to kill him.” Max says before I join her. “Or Roxie for that matter.” We join hands.

******

Eddie slams an advertisement for The War Zone onto Max’s dining room table. “‘The War Zone’.” He starts as he looks around the circle of friends. I stand next to him on one side and Steve on the other. “This place is gonna have everything we need to bring down Cecna. It’s far enough to avoid cops and angry hicks.” “Wouldn’t it be where angry hicks lurk?” Erica says. “We need the weapons.” Nancy exerts.

“Fuck, we wouldn’t be able to bike there. It would take too long.” Robin says. Eddie states as he looks at me and gives me butterflies, “you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” I nod, chuckling softly. “Hey Red. Do you have a ski mask or something?” Eddie asks Max? Who indeed has a trick up her sleeve.

[assignedpeanutallergyatbirth]

I’m not entirely sure how to articulate this thought, so bear with my internet. I would like to discuss two scenes in Stranger Things.

The first is S2 E1 starting 30:50, it’s a Wheeler dinner scene and Mike is told that he needs to put together two boxes worth of things to sell at the yard sale.

When he protests it goes like this:

Mike: “I’m fine with you giving away a couple, but the other ones just have way too much emotional value”

Karen: “Emotional value?”

Ted: “They’re hunks of plastic Michael.”

As the scene goes on, we find out that they’ve already taken away his Atari, and that the reason the Wheeler parents are doing all of this is because Mike has been acting out. This scene is particularly interesting because it falls between Lucas and Dusting finding out who Max is (plot relevant) and Nancy and Steve having dinner with Barb’s parents (plot relevant), but it doesn’t appear to have any plot relevance itself. Mike’s behavior isn’t mentioned again, and the only purpose this scene seems to serve is to show that Mike is struggling without El. Or to show that the Wheeler parents don’t understand him and do not try to.

The second scene, and the one that stands in sharp contrast in my mind, is in season 4. In S4 E9 1:52:19, right before the California crew shows up at the Wheeler house, Karen brings out a box of Nancy’s old things that she found in the attic. They are packing boxes to bring to the shelter at the school. Nancy finds her childhood stuffed animal Mr. Rabbit in one of these boxes, and Karen says “It’s okay if you want to save him, you know?” She acknowledges that this toy has emotional value to Nancy, while she scoffed at the concept that Mike’s possessions might be important to him.

Obviously the context of these two scenes is very different. Mike is being punished, while Nancy is donating voluntarily. In season 4, Hawkins has just experienced a massive earthquake and I’m sure Karen is very worried. She even expresses more worry towards Mike than we have ever seen when he arrives. But there is no reason why she should not have been this sympathetic in season 2. By that point Mike had already been through some shit, and even if she did not know the full extent, she knew that Will was presumed dead and was visited by the government officials who said that he was in great danger. But in season 2, she brushes it off as “We know you’ve had a hard year, Michael, but we’ve been patient.” She acknowledges his struggles and immediately dismissed them.

And I know that comparing scenes like this gets a little iffy, and that the Duffer brothers haven’t watched season 2 in a while — hence Will’s birthday. But the one thing that stays consistent is character writing (Mike’s character is consistently written, and I will probably have to word vomit a post about it at some point). So while I doubt that these two scenes are supposed to stand in contrast, the family dynamics that they highlight do stand out, and I feel that comparing them in this way is fair game.

Which gets me to the point of my argument. So often while discussing the Wheeler parents, we focus on the differences between Ted and Karen. But they both kind of suck. More significant, I would argue, is the difference in how the parents treat Mike and Nancy. Karen especially connects with Nancy more often than she does Mike. Any heart to heart conversations that we see her have are with Nancy. Her character building is done through connecting with Nancy, most especially the scenes after Nancy is fired from the newspaper. With Mike, the only support he seems to get from his mom comes in the form of 3 hugs: after they find “Will’s” body, after the Byers’s move, and after he comes back from California. If you read the novelization Lucas on the Line, Karen tries to help Mike in his (apparent and obvious) depression by inviting Lucas and Dustin over. She plans this whole themed sleepover, but then calls her son foul to Lucas, in front of Mike. She disregards anything that is important to Mike, yet still expects him to come to her with important things. However with Nancy, she makes more of an effort. She reaches out to Nancy first, after Nancy was fired from the newspaper. Karen has to knock on Nancy’s closed door in order to have this conversation. This is a decent amount of effort put in. Karen makes the first move, whereas with Mike, she relies on him to reach out, even going so far as to stop Ted from talking to him after “Will’s body is found because “He’ll come to us when he’s ready.”

And please note: I have nothing against Nancy. I love Nancy as a character. I just think that the way the Wheeler parents, especially Karen, treat Nancy and Mike is very different and worth noting.

[thestobingirlie]

One thing that's become really clear to me over the course of ST is that the Duffers are only (willing? able?) to write about trauma if it's grief over the presumed death of a loved one. Hopper was grieving his daughter in S1. S2 Mike grieved El and Nancy grieved Barb. Joyce has grieved both Bob and Hopper (sort of). El was grieving Hopper in S4 and Max was grieving Billy.

Any other form of trauma (physical, mental, and emotional) is glanced over or outright ignored. Hopper was addicted to drugs pre-S1 (and during), but this is never brought up again after. Joyce shows some signs of trauma when it comes to needing to know where Will is, but Jonathan doesn't. Will's PTSD in S2 is actually just his lingering connection to the Upside Down, and his emotional trauma about being unable to move on in S3 is promptly forgotten as soon as the plot needs to kick in. Steve is beaten unconscious by Billy, tortured by soldiers, and mauled by monsters, but these are never things the show actually allows him to react to after the fact. I doubt we'll get lingering trauma from Hopper over his time in a Russian prison camp, because that's more complex than being upset that someone died (that's not me trying to trivialize grief over losing a loved one, it's a critique on the Duffers copy/pasting this grief in almost the same way).

That's why Eddie (and Max, in a way) had to die. The Duffers decided it was time to give Dustin (and Lucas) an emotional "arc" and the only one they know how to write is grief over death. It was less about Eddie needing to die in place of Steve and more "someone needs to die to give Dustin trauma, but there's no good reason to kill Steve, so we'll shove in a new character and give them an extremely predictable and preventable death instead."

This way of writing is just... extremely frustrating, and it leaves too many characters (and the trauma they should have) abandoned by the narrative.

i’ve never thought about that before, but you are so right! the duffers really do only know how to depict mourning, and not other traumas.

even with the byers, a key part of their characters is that lonnie byers was abusive, and while we see some of that in s1, it kind of just gets abandoned after that.

will’s plot line in s3 just ends and goes nowhere. steve has literally never seemed to suffer from anything he’s gone through. and he was beaten and tortured at 18 years old for information he didn’t have. and we got… nothing! like how in s3, dustin and steve are just gungho to go searching for russians. as if they wouldn’t be a little weary after all they’ve been through. we see lucas a little scared of the government when telling max, but again, that goes nowhere. also!! every single person there watched billy fall to the ground dead. and the only person it affects is max.

don’t get me wrong, lucas and dustin totally deserve to get some good arcs and some time spent on their trauma, but they had trauma pre-s4! i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again. dustin has killed a man!!!!! and we got NOTHING.

[dangerous-disposition]

for all of us who've seen the light (salute the dead and lead the fight)

Rating: Teen & Up Relationship(s): Steve Harrington & Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley Other Tags: PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Bit of a self-indulgent fic. No ships, just vibes (for now while I work on filth). Includes some interactions between Steve and characters I want to see more of in fics bc ultimately I wrote this for me and me alone plus anyone else who enjoys this ur welcome.

~

It was a couple weeks after Starcourt when Steve insisted on hosting a pool party.

It was partly to get everyone together one last time before the Byers and El moved away, and also just… to have a reason to all be in one place that wasn’t the end of the world. It was something he tried to do before, but no one seemed to go for it. This last narrow escape from certain death seemed to do the trick though.

Steve spent the week leading up to the party painstakingly cleaning the pool and getting the levels figured out. He hadn’t used his pool in years, and he knows his parents haven’t used it either. Obviously, he took enough care of it that it wasn’t absolutely disgusting, but it still needed a bit of work. Robin came over a lot to help, which was mostly her sitting and watching Steve work. It was nice having the company. It kept his mood up, unlike when he was left alone in his backyard.

On the day of the party, Steve went grocery shopping to get a bunch of food to throw on the grill, chips, and soda. He also grabbed several boxes of Eggos and a bunch of cans of whipped cream.

On his way back home, he picked Robin and Dustin up, and the conversation was bright and excited. Steve was in great spirits, singing out of tune to the music on the radio, getting louder and serenading Robin dramatically as she wailed for him to shut up. He didn’t even care if it made Dustin more obnoxious with his belief they were dating, because Robin was grinning bigger than she had in weeks.

Nancy arrived at Steve’s at the same time, and Mike, Lucas, Max, and Erica all poured out of her car. The kids swept through the front door and straight out the back, barely taking the time to strip down to their bathing suits before jumping in.

Steve was still organizing the chips into bowls when Jonathan arrived with Will and El. He was full of apologies for being a bit late. Steve waved him off.

“If you want to make it up to me, take these out to the dipshits,” he says, holding the bowls of chips out to Jonathan.

Sure enough, Jonathan was immediately mobbed by a bunch of soggy teenagers the moment he stepped outside with food.

“When are you coming outside?”

Steve jolts at the soft, but direct voice, and turns to find El watching him from the doorway to the kitchen. She clearly hasn’t been in the pool yet, but from what he understands, Steve isn’t sure how much she likes swimming.

“I will in a bit, I’m just getting stuff ready,” Steve reassures her, then he gives her a secretive little smirk. “I picked something up for you…”

The excited expression on her face brought a proper grin to Steve’s, and he went about making her a triple-decker Eggo and whipped cream monstrosity.

“Do you have Reese’s Pieces?” she asks quietly as she looks down at the treat with an expression that was both happy and deeply sad.

“I don’t think I do, but I have M&M’s. Is that okay?” he asks, going to the cupboard and grabbing a bag.

“It’s perfect. Thank you, Steve,” El replies, and the two of them share the treat.

When Steve finally comes outside with the hamburger patties and cheese slices, everyone hollers at him for taking so long.

“Hey, if any of you brats want to eat, you better be nice to me. I was inside making these puppies from scratch,” Steve snipes back as he sets up at the grill, ignoring the kids while they whine at him for not getting in the pool too.

“C’mon, Steve, this party was your idea and you’re not even going to swim?” one of the kids, possibly Mike, says when Steve declines putting off starting the burgers.

“There’s plenty of time for me to still swim with you nerds after we eat,” Steve dismisses the comment. “Besides, I’m having plenty of fun.”

And it was true, he was, even if he hadn’t done any of the playing. He just liked having a house full of people, laughter in his backyard, people for him to feed and tend to. He just liked seeing all the kids in one spot where they were just allowed to be kids. That was enough for Steve.

Keep reading on AO3

[idiotcurls]

For Auld Long Syne, My Dear

Chapter Two: Dinner

Chapter one is here. The whole thing on AO3 is here.   After Steve finally arrived to the New Year’s Party at the Byers-Hopper house, the gang is sitting at the dinner table, bantering, eating and drinking. Nancy and Robin are forcing Hopper into a speech, which he hates but reluctantly accepts.  Mike and Will have some sort of issue with eachother and are making it everyones problem. When emotions boil over, Steve goes into mum mode and Eddie finds himself as a bigger brother figure to Mike.  Pairing: StevexEddie but they are idiots, WillxMike but they don’t know that yet, established NancyxRobin, platonic Stobin d’uh

Tags: slow burn, found family, post vecna world, dealing with trauma, coming of age, hurt/comfort, eddie is alive obviously The kitchen is filled with laughter and conversation. Plates are empty, bellies are full. Steve is sat next to Joyce and Jonathan, his thumb in a brand new band-aid, provided by Joyce. He had gotten his glasses from the car earlier too, to avoid more mishaps like this.

During dinner, Steve politely reminded Hopper that he wasn't becoming a teacher, but a guidance councilor again, when he asked how the studying was coming along.

That concept was foreign to Hop, but Steve had no problem explaining it all over, every time they met, even though he knew Hop would keep on calling him 'Teach'. The kids were bickering, Dustin screeched about something Max had said. Steve rolls his eyes but was in all good spirits. He was happy to see them laugh. Glances between him and Eddie were exchanged during the dinner.

Eddie basically inhaled Joyce's Lasagne. When she got up to put a third load of Lasagne on his dish he almost didn't dare to decline.

„You will make the boy explode, Joyce.“ Hopper intervened. „Oh well, they're still growing.“, she deflected. „That is a grown man.“, he pointed at Eddie with his fork. „I once arrested him.“ Eddie seemed to flinch. „That was a long time ago!“ Eddie added quickly, looking between Steve and Joyce. “That's probably like... statue-barred or something.”

Eddie being so damn lovely with Joyce and Hopper made Steve's heart feel warm. He acted like a polite son in law, trying really hard to impress some girl's parents. Steve swallowed hard. 

“Well, I think by now you can say, he redeemed himself, don't you think?“ Joyce reached across the table to give Eddie's hand a quick, affectionate squeeze and he froze for a second there. He just nodded. “Th-thanks, yeah.”Jonathan sighed. 

„I think we all suffered 3 times worth all of our respective sins.“ Nancy gave Jonathan a serious side eye.

„Since when do you believe in the concept of sin?“, she asked.Jonathan shrugged. „Argyle's mum is italian catholic. It comes up in conversation.“ Robin made a 'uh huh?' sound, while she looked into her glass of orange juice, but didn't dig deeper into the topic. 

“Speaking of, where is Argyle?”Jonathan apparently just came back from a short holiday in California, where he stayed with Argyle, his mum and his abuelita. Steve noticed he was tan. For Jonathan at least. He looked happy and healthy.

“They would kill him, if he wasn't at home for the holidays.”, Jonathan explained. “But he doesn't seem to mind that, at all. He likes being molly coddled by them.” Jonathan looked into the middle distance. Steve couldn't help but wonder, what Argyle's family dynamics were like. And why they made Jonathan weary.

Speaking of sins, Steve looked over to Eddie. He looked down on his band-aided finger and back at him. He watched him smile while listening to conversations on the table. He didn't talk too much, almost seemed shy. Steve would have never thought, that a family dinner (of sorts) was the one thing that made Eddie shut up. 

Steve's eyes got stuck on Eddies lips, on his dimples, that appeared when he smiled like that. There was Eddie's sharp jaw line, in contrast to his big brown eyes, that searched everybody's faces with curiosity. Sometimes he added insightful comments. This time about Catholicism. How can one person be so smart and so bad at school at the same time?

But the school system made Steve feel less than as well. He still sometimes thought he was dumb. And in Eddie's case, maybe the teachers just didn't like him, or had preconceived notions. He wore being an outcast well. But Steve sometimes wondered, if it came to him that easy. The snarky comments, the no fucks given attitude.

It must have been lonely behind that mask in school. But it was a mask and a loneliness Steve knew too. The mask just had a different colour. Steve promised to himself, that he would never treat any of his kids like this. Once he got through the course. Once he was a guidance councilor. It was either that, or becoming a hairdresser. He chuckled to himself, imagining doing Eddie's hair in a salon.

On the other side of the table, Nancy and Robin whispered something, they seemed to hatch out some sort of scheme, he saw it in their eyes. That always rang an alarm bell in Steve's head, so he tried to take his eyes off Eddie and watch out for those two agents of chaos. 

For some reason Robin brought out a more playful, joyous side in Nancy. He loved their dynamics, even thought, truth be told, sometimes they got on his nerves. But this light-hearted Nancy, he hasn't seen that version of her since before Barb died. Not with him and not with Jonathan. So he was grateful.

Mike seemed to chew El's ears off about a topic she didn't seem to be interested in. Will and Dustin talked about that 60s movie they watched before. He had a feeling Robin also talked about it before. She wanted to watch it with him, to broaden his horizon. 

He saw Will for the first time this evening at the dinner table. Will didn't seem to be in a very chatty mood, so Steve decided not to pester him with too many questions. Will was stabbing his food with the fork and provided short answers, when someone talked to him. Max was in a chatty mood today, but Steve learned not to disrupt her quiet phases aswell. It was a time where she intently listened to what was going on around her. He saw her quietly smile into herself sometimes, when one of the boys said some stupid shit.

Robin and Nancy's whispering turned into a giggle and then into a chant, far away from quiet. “Speech! Speech! Speech!” They looked at Hopper, starting to bang their fists on the table. Hop rolled his eyes and mouthed a stern 'No!' Nancy seemed to have sobered up a bit, still red cheeks, but she had this determination in her eyes, that Steve loved so much about her. El watched the girls chant and bang on the table for a second, before she chimed in, ignoring Mike's monologue. The more Hopper refused, which he did, the louder everyone got. Max was quietly smiling to herself. She put her hands on the table, like she tried to feel the vibration of the bangs on her hands. “Okay, okay, okay.“, Hop finally said. He got up, taking his glass of scotch into his right hand and put his left hand gently on Joyce's shoulder. Clapping and whoo-ing ensued. Well, from almost the whole table. Eddie didn't shout as loud as the other participants, but clapped. Apparently he still had a lot of respect, or maybe some sort of god's fear of Hop, which Steve found hilarious in a way. Mr. „Fuck the rules“ in awe of a cop. Steve smiled. He wondered why Hop arrested Eddie back then and how it all went down. He had a faint idea, since he sometimes bought weed off of him, back in high school. But that is a story for a different time. „Y'people are cruel, you know that, right? Y'know I'm bad with words.” He cleared his throat. “But uh, I will try my best.“ He seemed like he didn't quite know what to do with his hands or face. Joyce looked up to him, a sparkle in her eyes. She patted Hopper's hand on her shoulder and whispered „You can do this.“  Hopper was wearing a nice shirt and Steve was 200% sure it was a gift from one of the girls. It was very colourful, so he figured El gave it to him and it mattered so much to him, he wore it anyway, like a proud dad. A proud dad. Steve had a bitter sweet feeling in his stomach. But he couldn't imagine anyone other, that deserved a proud dad as much as El and Max. „I want to thank you all for coming here. It's uh... nice to have a full house. I guess we're still making this house a home...“ He looked around the table at all the eyes fixed on him and seemed to get honestly emotional. As if he felt...touched. „I never reckoned, that I would have a wife and four children to boss me 'round.“, he looked at the kids intently. His voice broke a little, Steve was sure about it, he heard it! “And...-“ „She's not your wife yet!“, Max interrupted with a smug smile on her lips. Hopper sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. „Yeah, well. That is a fact. A fact that I was going to get into, if you would let me finish...” „They are getting married in spring!!“ El blurted out. „That is why Robin and Nancy wanted to hear a speech.“ El was proud. Mike next to her, seemed somewhat disconnected from the ruckus on the table. Will, who was sitting next to Mike, just watched the burning candle in front of him intently. Joyce laughed. „Don't steal his thunder! Come on now, go on, now.“ Her smile was wide and genuine. Something clicked in Steve's head. He looked at Joyce's hand and saw a new ring which she didn't wear the last time he visited. Joyce seemed to notice him connecting the dots and winked at him. He raised his eyebrows in disbelieve and shot Robin a look. She winked at Steve too, she knew already, but didn't say a word to him. Wow. Steve was surprised, Robin could shut up that long. Especially in front of him. Good for her. All the times they spoke on the phone and yet. He was almost proud.

If there hasn't been the conversation he had with Joyce when he came in, one could have thought everything was alright. Just a happy, big family celebrating new year's. Steve wished it could at least be true for the evening. He had a feeling they all shared that wish.

„Who's gonna be your best man? Can I be your best man?“ Dustin piped up. Mike punched his shoulder. 

„You can't be a best man, you're way to young! You have to be like, 30 to be a best man.“ „Ow, dude, that is so disrespectful.“ Dustin shot back. „I'm allowed to ask!?“„As a matter of fact-“ Hopper raised his voice to interrupt the fighting, looking between Mike and Dustin. „We are getting married in spring. And uh I... we! We wanted to inform you, that you're all invited. We want you to be there.” Dustin looked at Hopper with big eyes, waiting for an answer. „I'm sorry kid, but Jonathan is going to be my best man.“, he said, not unkind. Dustin frowned. “Damn it.“ „See, I told you!“, Mike hissed at him under his breath across the table. “I am allowed to ask!!!”, Dustin hissed back.Jonathan who was just watching the back and forth between the kids, raised his hands in defense and shook his head. „First of all, I'm not 30? And you are very welcome to help me prepare stuff.” Dustin nodded enthusiastically, ignoring Mike's sour expression. It was the first wedding he was invited to, so Dustin thought, he had every right to be excited.He could practice wedding stuff, for when Suzie and him would get married, once they were old enough. Even though he didn't really know if Mormons married differently. He only knew weddings only from TV anyway, so this was a good place to start. El searched for Steve's attention. „I'm going to be a flower girl.“, she said unable to contain her excitement. „Me and Max both. That means we will go down the isle and throw flower petals on the ground.“, she explained. „Before Joyce walks down to get married.“ She was so proud. Her cheeks turned a rosy hue.Steve nodded. „That is very nice, I love that.“, he said sincerity in his voice. He looked over at Eddie. He had his hand on his chin, leaning on the table, just listening. If he wouldn't have known better, Steve thought, he was moved. But he couldn't read his face, since Eddie hid half of it and avoided eye-contact with Steve. Maybe he felt embarrassed about earlier. „So, please remember the date. 7th of may. I want us all to be together. It's important to celebrate, even during hard times.“, Joyce added. „You will get the invitations later. Oh, and thank you Robin for helping us make them!“ „Hear, hear!“ Robin raised her glass, putting her arm around Nancy. “I'm happy I could help.“, she smiled her beautiful, broad smile. Nancy looked up to her, studying her profile, flustered. Steve knew that look, but hasn't seen it in a while. Apparently Robin had helped them craft beautiful typography and added some flowers into their design.Hopper was so concentrated to provide a speech, he couldn't be annoyed by their blatant flirting. Steve knew, it wasn't because they were both young women. It was just because it was...them. „So now that that is out of the way...“, Hopper said after he kissed Joyce's head. „Let's have a nice evening together, but let's not get over board.“, Hopper continued, looking at Nancy. Steve couldn't help but laugh. Nancy shot him a look. Neither Will nor Mike had any emotional reaction to the situation, that was appropriate. Steve was wondering what was going on behind the scenes on this one. He had a little suspicion. “To Hopper and Joyce!” Nancy raised her cup. Everyone followed her. Even so Mike, who seemed to watch Will from the corner of his eyes the whole time. The only person who didn't raise his glass to the happy occasion, was Will. Steve was surprised. „This is not right.“, he said quietly still staring at the candle. The table grew quiet all of a sudden and everybody looked at Will. Raised hands sank back down. Mike rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.Maybe Will had been in a mood all day. Which was unusual, because that role was solely Mike's, commonly. „Honey, let's talk about this again later...“, Joyce said, reaching out to her son. „No, I don't want to talk. I'm so sick of everyone pretending everything is fine, when it's clearly not!“ Joyce couldn't speak for a second, she was taken aback. And hurt, Steve figured. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again, afraid of saying something to make it worse. “Will....”, Jonathan started. „I can't take this talk of us all being together, when people are missing from 'together' and everyone is just, like, ignoring the truth.“ „Do you want to talk about this truth? Now?“ Hoppers voice was not unkind, but stern. „Enlighten us?“ Steve didn't think it was possible for the room to get even more silent but somehow it did. Dustin put his glass of sunny D down quietly, as if he was afraid to be noticed. ��We're just playing pretend. Lucas and Erica are gone and Max-“ He stopped. His voice broke. The sound of his chair grinding back on the kitchen floor seemed to ripple through the room. „I have to go.“ He looked at the shocked faces around him and seemed to grow smaller. Will walked out of the kitchen.  They could hear his steps ascending up the stairs into his room, followed by a door closing.Max lowered her head. Nobody dared to say anything. Joyce let her head sink into her hands, rubbing her forehead. “I'm sorry” she said softly to no one in particular. „He is going through a lot.“ “Puberty.”, Dustin nodded knowingly. Steve shot him a look and mouthed 'not now', shaking his head slightly. Dustin folded and shut up. Hopper laid his hand on Max's and whispered something to her. She nodded, but her expression seemed conflicted, still. Everyone missed Lucas and Erica the way Will did, but they were all faced with the same helplessness in the situation. Steve's stomach turned. It reminded him of the helplessness he felt, when Nancy was grieving Barbara. And he was a shit boyfriend back then. But also a teenager facing impossible situations. Not knowing where they are, made him lose sleep as well. He looked at Eddie. He seemed to want to add something to the conversation, but didn't dare to. He loved Lucas and had grown more fond of Erica ever since she called him a long haired freak. Everyone looked hurt, staring down at the table. Except for Mike. Mike seemed furious, like he could barely swallow his rage. Not annoyed, like he usually was. A more common sight, but fire burning furiously. Steve had a feeling, Max blamed herself partly for them leaving. Even though none of them had confirmation on how the situation took place and it surely wasn't Max's fault. He knew Max was smart. Smart beyond her years. But knowing something doesn't immediately mean, you know how to deal with your emotions. He knew that for sure.Jonathan cleared is throat and put down his bottle of beer. „I'm going to talk to him.“, he uttered under his breath and got up to follow his little brother upstairs. Mike watched Jonathan go after Will and something in him was about to snap. He shook his head. You could see the white on his knuckles, he was balling his fists so hard on the table. El looked at his fist and back up to him. But before she could say anything, Mike finally snapped. „This is so stupid.“, he spit out. „He should be happy he has all of this!“, he waved across the room. “Mike! Stop it!”, Nancy snapped at him.  Mike shot his sister an angry look across the table, before the second time a chair grinned the kitchen floor. “Don't act like you know whats going on at home!” He left the room, put on his shoes and slammed the front door behind him, without grabbing a coat on the way out. El didn't follow him. She looked the other way and grabbed Max's hand. Max seemed relieved. Everyone else was looking at the table, perplexed on how fast a general mood can switch.Nancy shook her head and furrowed her brows. “Just ...let him calm down.”, she said, defeated and waved her hand. Robin put an arm around her. Just being there, a silent support. “They are always angry, lately.”, Max said quietly. El nodded, knowingly. “They are.”, she said with a lowered tone. “Something is changing.“, she added. Steve couldn't make out if Hopper was extremely angry or extremely sad. He did work a lot on his anger lately, he knew that from Joyce. So maybe it was somehow both.

„Sometimes people are angry when things change.“, Joyce offered them softly. The candles were flickering on the table and the TV had since started broadcasting the New Year's eve celebrations on times square. 1988. Almost a new era. “Let's just clean up a bit. We'll give you guys some time.” Robin said towards Joyce and Hopper, as she got up. Nancy seemed to snap out of a trance and got up too. Steve knew, Hop wanted the best for his new family. Steve respected that. But it also must be a lot of work and “new territory” so to say. “I'll go out to check on the fire.”, Hopper said, getting off the table.Joyce got up too, to frantically put plates together. “Come on let's all help. Dustin! Grab a tea towel. I wash, you dry.”, Steve announced. Dustin groaned. “Do I have to?” “Yes. You do.” Steve said with a stern voice and gestured towards him. In reality Dustin was probably relieved. He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, or the Situation as a whole, if we were perfectly honest. “Go be with Hopper. We got this”, Nancy said softly, touching Joyce's arm. She sighed and laughed thinly. “Thank you. I'm sorry about this.” “Don't be.” Nancy was serious. Steve saw Joyce grab a packet of cigarettes out of one of the kitchen drawers, before she grabbed a coat and left into the night to talk to Jim. El pushed Max's wheelchair out of the kitchen, towards her room. El nodded to Nancy before they left. Nancy nodded back and touched El's shoulder affectionately before they left. It wasn't close to midnight yet, but still a good time to have a little festive fight, Steve figured. Nancy and Robin were clearing off the table, bringing used plates and cutlery to Steve and Dustin. Eddie had gotten up from the table and stood in the room awkwardly, not knowing what his role in this was exactly. He looked towards Steve, helplessly. Crisis-mode Steve was pretty good at diffusing situations and just reacting to problems. So he did. Steve turned on the water and plugged the drain, before looking over his shoulder at Eddie, nodding towards the door, raising his eyebrows. He seemed to have forgotten that Eddie doesn't really have a code to follow in “family situations” like that.“I think I, uh... I want to go smoke a cigarette?”, Eddie asked

“Yes. Yes you want to do that.” Steve answered and nodded towards the door again. Someone should check on Mike. “Right. Got it.” Eddie snapped his fingers and walked out the kitchen towards the front door, grabbing the ear warmers and his coat, following to where ever Mike Wheeler turned to hide himself. Steve sighed, already feeling bad for being bossy. But he knew Mike looked up to Eddie. Mike grew his hair out, despite his father threatening, that he would somehow end up in prison with a haircut like that or worse, unemployed. The kid was a sucker for Eddie. Even today, he wore his Hellfire shirt, hanging on every word Eddie uttered, all evening. When he wasn't sulky or angry. If he didn't know it any better, he thought Mike had a crush on Eddie. Nancy for one, didn't quite get the infatuation her brother had, but decided, there were worse role models to pick. At least Eddie was someone who tried to make high school a tolerable place for kids like them. He basically ran around high school adopting kids. Which was cute. She remembered wanting to look out for Jonathan, when they were in school. And he had proven himself to Nancy Wheeler since. She put a stack of used plates next to Steve and sighed, watching him scrub away on the dirty plates, brows furrowed. He loved to stress-clean. He used to stress-clean a lot, when they were dating. Back then, she found it endearing. Now it's just comedy relieve. Also, Robin was a slob and she already got used to that. But it was Steve's way of helping and dealing with complicated situations. “You know he had a hard time, since Robin and me got together.”, Nancy's big dark eyes seemed still seemed a bit clouded. Steve listened to her, keeping his eyes on the warm water and bubbles. “He is so fucking angry all the time, we don't know what to do.”, she said, sighing again. “I don't know what to do and he is not talking about it, like, at all.” Dustin shook his head and scoffed. “We have been talking, aaall the time! But nobody can fucking tell me what's wrong.” Dustin sounded defeated drying another plate, Steve put into his hands. „Maybe, they just need a little bit more time. To figure things out.“ Robin's voice was quiet, and soft like velvet, her eyes rested on Steve. Then she leaned over to Dustin and gave him a little nudge. “Don't worry too much about it, Dusty-Bun.” Dusty-Bun groaned loudly.“Yes! But we know Will is gay. We don't care! The party does not care!”, Dustin was obviously annoyed by the whole Situation. “Eddie had this one gay character in DnD and we all decided we loved her!” he almost screamed. “It is just FINE. So what else could it possibly be?” Robin decided to ignore him. She remembered Sapphire the Sapphic all to well. When Eddie told her about Sapphire, she knew, that motherfucker wasn't totally straight. How else would he know the word sapphic and why else would he tell that to her. They had a silent agreement since. But Robin was happy he seemed to try to teach the kids something.Robin had seen Eddie with girls around Hawkins High. But she had a suspicion. The same suspicion she held with Steve. Not all that easy to read, but the moment Eddie appeared in their lives, she could smell something was off with Steve too. Since they knew each other, she had never seen Steve look at a girl the way he looked at Eddie. Steve never looked at her that way, when he thought he was in love with her too. “Is he angry about you and Robin?”, Steve asked Nancy and gave Dustin yet another wet plate to shush him, lovingly. “He seemed to take it fine. When we told him. Together. ” Nancy said. “But then, all of a sudden he decided to be a huge dick. To everyone.” “More than before?” Steve couldn't hide his undertone. Which was fine in that situation, he figured.“Uh, Yes. A lot more.”, Dustin said, swinging his towel. “I would have told you, if you'd pick up your phone more often. Instead of, uh, I don't know, going on hot dates with lots of girls or whatever.” Robin poured herself a cup of mulled wine from the stove and laughed out loud, leaning on the counter.“How are those hot dates going, Harrington?” Steve dropped a plate back into the foamy water, to look at her, eyebrows raised. “Okay, ouch. I don't like either of you two very much, right now. I'm actually studying and working. Trying to become my own man, you know?” Steve shrugged. “I'm trying to become a better man.” He nodded to himself. He wasn't quite sure if he believed it, or what it meant, exactly. His glasses fogged up from the hot water, so he took them off and placed them on his head. “Jeez, that shouldn't distract you from being a good older male role model for me, Steve.” Dustin threw the tea towel over his shoulder, like an old lady, perfectly mimicing the way Steve did it. Steve didn't say anything to that. He just looked at Dustin and shook his head.„What do you think about it, Buckley? I mean, about Mike and Will.”, Steve finally asked, going on to investigate his suspicion. She sighed deeply, taking a sip of the hot wine, contemplating.„I think they are teenagers. We weren't any better, were we? Figuring stuff out. Fighting, being mad. There IS a lot of change happening right now. We're still trying to cope too. And their brains aren't really fully developed yet. You should know that, Mr. Councilor? The prefrontal cortex and everything? Do you have yours?”Steve scoffed and nodded. “Yeah, haven't taken that class yet. Next semester. Too busy being a rolemodle.”, he looked at Dustin theatrically, who sighed.The warm water in the sink felt good on his hands. In the beginning he tried not to get his band-aid wet, but aborted the mission half way through. Scrubbing plates gave him something productive to do. From the kitchen window, he saw Joyce and Hopper standing by the fire. Hop was shaking his head while Joyce was talking and blowing blue smoke into the cold winter air. „What are we figuring out though?“ Dustin put a salad bowl on top of the pile of clean plates. „Stuff. Teenager Stuff.“, Steve said. „I want to be included. I can't trust you to figure the case out by yourself. You need me. You know, to connect the dots.“ “I don't know man. I am still not sleeping well either. At least sometimes. So I guess that?” Dustin nodded. He seemed to understand that.  “I talk to Suzie a lot when I can't sleep.”, his voice went a little bit more quiet. “Some teenagers have to figure stuff out, other teenagers don't have to.” Steve pondered, thinking of Mike and Will. „Also, you can't put a half dry bowl to the dry dishes! Jesus!“ Steve took the tea towel from Dustin's shoulder and put it on his own. Robin smiled kindly. “That is actually true. You know you can still figure things out even though you're not a teenager anymore, right Steve?” Steve and Robin locked eyes. Nancy looked between them, confused about the tension in the room. Outside the house, Eddie stomped through the crisp snow, silently hating himself for jumping on whatever Steve tells him to. He could imagine a thousand things that were better than running after an angry teenager on a night he looked forward to for weeks. Could he say no to Steve though? Not exactly. Would he do anything for that rag-tag family type situation going on in there? Yeah, probably. He figured it was safe to feel that way. They did that for each other all the time, he knew. Eddie did actually know a thing or two about being a teenager and being an angry one, so.

 Steve knew that. That's why he sent him out to talk to Mike, he figured. It made him feel a little proud. Steve knew the kids longer than he had. So Eddie loved, that Steve trusted him with looking after one of the difficult ones. 

They both cared about the little shrimps. He felt included. It warmed Eddie's heart, something to examine later, after the mission.And Eddie also knew very well, that he could have used someone in situations like that. Needed someone to understand him. Dads and uncles sometimes couldn't do that in a way that actually helped. 

Even though, he regarded himself lucky, to even have an uncle, to go after him when he stormed out into the dark of night. Which he did frequently, back in the day. Why he never got eaten by a Demogorgon or something like that, in hindsight, he couldn't explain. The fool's luck.

„Shit.“ He rubbed his hands together, looking around to find any sign of Mike. He looked up to the sky. The moon was a very thin sickle. Only sparse clouds in the sky. Which made sense. It's to cold for much clouds if it's too cold for snow. And there wasn't any snow in a while. It made sense, because of the lack of moisture. He really liked the colour of the sky though.

The footsteps in the snow he followed, led him behind his own Van. Mike was crouched down, leaning on a dirty front tire. He angrily wiped away a tear or two in an hectic movement, when he heard Eddie's footsteps approach. Little Idiot, Eddie thought. He looked younger.

„Hey there. It's a bit cold to hang around out here.“, Eddie said.

„What else is new.“ Mike's tone was cold. He clearly didn't want any company. Yet, there Eddie was. Feeling like he was in a different dimensions, where the roles were reversed and he was the one to strike up a meaningful conversation. No biggie, though. The van's door was cold on Eddies back, as he leaned against it, while crouching down next to Mike. He reached into the pocket of his too big jacket and produced a packet of cigarettes and a zippo lighter, with an intricate design on it. There was only a zzsk, zzsk noise abd a small orange flame from the lighter, as he lit his cigarette.

He casually blew the smoke into the cold December air, like he didn't just got sent out into the cold to retrieve a teenager. He offered the package over to Mike, who raised his hand to take one out, but Eddie pulled back in a quick motion. “Gotcha. I know you smoked before. Don't start it.” Mike shook his head, defeated. He knew he earned that. “I had to throw up after.”, he confessed quietly. Eddie nodded. “I thought that much.“, he said ashing into the snow.When he saw Mike the first time, he got bullied by some jock from Mike's English class. The perfect victim for becoming a new member of Hellfire. But that was why Eddie started Hellfire for. A refuge for nerds, freaks and outcasts. And they flocked to him.Now the situation was a different one. The “shared trauma” as Robin and Steve called it, was a bit more than some assholes in a cafeteria calling you a name. It was new for him, he barely survived. Thinking that those kids have done this since they were so small, blew his mind. Made him feel small in comparison.Since then a lot changed, times changed and the kids grew up a lot. But hell, so did he. 

If somebody would have traveled back in time and told him, that he would spend New Year's with Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler and a Cop in 3 years time, he would have spat into the time traveler's face, despite being impressed by, you know, the time traveling.Once you graduate and leave the small little bubble of high school, get thrown into real life, a lot of important things seemed silly. It almost made Eddie feel nostalgic.

Like he yearned for easier times with less at stake. Jocks against Nerds. Nothing more. Black and White. Not all of this greyish hues that bloomed in front of him, like boring but insightful flowers of early adulthood.He wondered if the little spark he had with Chrissy could have bloomed into a friendship too after high school, if... if things happened differently. 

Their friendship would have have had pink and yellow petals, he thought. Eddie imagined her at college. He imagined her having fun with her friends and grow up to become a woman. He saw her smiling. She would have been so amazing. It stung.But despite all of it, Mike was still partly in this bubble, with his stupid views on the stupid world and his big anxieties, that were very real. The kids were pushing 18, learning and growing and being dumb.

„So... what was that all about?“ Eddie tried to swallow his teasing tone. „What do you mean?“, Mike spat, looking at the cigarettes tip glistening in Eddie's hand.

„Come on.“ Eddie leaned into Mike's space. „You're going to tell me, Baby-Byers storming off and then you storming off are not in perfect correlation?“ „I know you think of me as this wise old man, but I'm actually not too unfamiliar with the teenage drama.“ Mike shook his head and rolled his eyes. "It's not that." Mike said. “It's not drama... It's just... I'm just...Will got all of this attention from being 'out' and everyone is walking on eggshells around him. He gets to start over at a new place and Joyce and Hopper are madly in love with each other, it's gross.“, it bubbled out of him. Ding, Ding, Ding. Jackpot, Eddie thought, but let the kid continue.„He is living with El and Max and Jonathan is there a lot. Everyone loves him, despite... you know? But he runs around being depressed and angry and anxious. What does he have to be angry about all the time?!“ Mike was angry, too.

Eddie took the last drag off the cigarette and flipped it into the snow. They both watched the little light go out. Eddie decided to not follow up the 'despite', not yet. He also swallowed the 'what are you so angry about?' question. That was for another time.

„Are you jealous?.“, Eddie said, breathing out smoke. Mike was hesitant, breathing out through his nose, like a child that got caught. He seemed to gather his thoughts together, so Eddie let him.

„I'm alone a lot. Everyone is here. Lucas is gone. I barely get to see them.“ Mike's voices cracked.

„What about Dustin?“ „He is in a total nerd mode. Only cares about finishing school. And talking to Suzie.“ He scoffed. "He wants to marry her?" Eddie nodded. "That's young." He knew about that. Not feeling included, being alone. Except Mike gets to do it from a nice home with a family around him. He did not know a lot about his parents, despite the fact, that they don't seem to love eachother .„And El and you...“, Eddie started. „We're taking a break!“, the answer shot out of him. „It's just a matter of time. We'll be together again soon.“ 'We will be happy again', Mike wanted to say but didn't. Eddie had a feeling that this wasn't exactly true on what he had observed that evening. But the boy needed something to hang on to, so he wouldn't drown. Eddie wasn't going to be the one to take the straw away from him.

The first heart break was always the worst one. But he'll get over it, Eddie knew that too. „I can't say anything about you and El. But you guys all love each other. And you won't live in your parent's place forever. You can all venture out into the world together one day.“, Eddie mused, gesturing towards the sky.„I know, but what if...“ Mike's voice gave out completely. „What if they forget me? Just move on?“ He turned to look at Eddie with genuine sadness and fear in his eyes. A tear on the brink of rolling over his pale cheek. Oh god. Genuine emotions made Eddie feel weird. Who could blame him, when he had to swallow all of his own grievances and hurt for so long, just to survive. Those kids were emotionally so much more in tune with themselves than he was at their age. He swallowed. Don't mess this up, Munson. „Well...I for one, haven't been a part of what ever this is for a long time.“ He nodded towards the house. „But I can assure you, those people in there love you as much as you love them, man.“ Eddie chuckled. „I'm just a sort of bystander and I have felt sick all evening from all of this love and understanding going on in there.“ Mike laughed a little. „It's pretty bad.“, he admitted.„Yeah it is. And I think nobody would like, shoot you if you talked to them about it. You could even say, that you uh, miss them or something.“ Mike nodded. He knew Eddie was right. There was a small pause. Far away, there was the noise of fireworks going off, prematurely. And the cracking of the fire in the backyard. „You're not a bystander, Eddie...“, Mike said after that long pause, looking at his shoes. The tables have turned, Eddie thought. But that was the way those kids worked.„Sshh. I wasn't the one storming out of a family event just now.”, Eddie deflected. “Try to swallow your pride. You think you can do that?“ Mike nodded, bated. “And maybe you can work up some understanding for Will? Doing what he is doing, isn't that easy either.“, Eddie said with a stern voice. “And doing what you're doing is hard aswell. Be soft.” Mike nodded. He didn't quite know what Eddie meant, but he liked to feel acknowledged. He wondered what 'being soft' meant. „Okay. Good. So let's get up and go back inside. Your sister is going to skin me alive if you get sick because of me. “Mike seemed to understand those worries and reluctantly got up to walk back inside the house. For a second Eddie stopped in front of Steve's Beemer, looked at the leather seats and his bags neatly put together in the back.

When he raised his head, he took in the sight of a house filled with light and love and smelled the burnt wood from the backyard. There was some sort of commotion coming from the kitchen, a crash, like broken glass and something that could be a cat dying or Dustin. Eddie and Mike shared an amused look, before they entered the patio, to walk back inside. Eddie put one Hand on Mike's back, ushering him inside. He looked over his shoulder to check the woods, before he closed the door behind them. Old habits die hard. Maybe there was a slight chance for a nice evening, after all. People were still scattered around the house. When Eddie walked in, he immediately loved the warmth. He seemed to melt into it. Steve and Dustin were still cleaning and arguing. Apparently Dustin had dropped a plate and Steve was ushering him around to get out of the way, for Steve to sweep up the shards. In case any one of them went downstairs to get a cheeky sandwich, barefoot in the middle of the night, so nobody would get hurt. Seeing Steve, wearing his glasses on his head, a tea towel over his shoulder, bossing around a kid, Eddie felt a strange sense of longing for domesticity. Not that he ever had the nuclear family, mum-dad-kid holy trinity of the American dream at his disposal, but he liked evenings in, when him and Wayne would cook a proper meal together and watch a sitcom on TV. When he was younger, Wayne let him stay up longer and watch things that, in hindsight were not appropriate for 12 year old kids, but it was what it was. And Eddie was thankful for every minute of it. Bonding time. After they made their way back into the kitchen, Eddie noticed, Dustin also put his tea towel on his shoulder, the way Steve did. It was so absurdly cute how much Dustin looked up to Steve. One time Eddie asked him, if he'd share the secret of Steve's perfect hair, if he knew it. As a joke. Dustin got this really serious expression and told him, “I am not at liberty to discuss that with you, or anyone as a matter of fact.” and shut down the conversation. It took quite a lot out of Eddie not to laugh out loud. But that meant, he did share his sacred hair regimen with Dustin. And Dustin guarded it like it was the declaration of independence. In that moment, Eddie had a vision of him and Steve in an imaginary shared flat, where Steve was at the stove, in the middle of making dinner, on a random Tuesday night and Eddie hugged him from behind, to kiss his neck and smell his hair. He imagined them making out between chopped vegetables and bubbling sauce. Greetings from the kitchen, or whatever rich people called it. Maybe it started with something benign like Steve letting Eddie taste test his homemade tomato sauce, excuse him, Sugo, the one with the fresh basilico and authentic grana padano. But it ended with him whispering into Steve's ear, how much he loved him and his Sugo. The three course menu for Eddie was Steve, Steve, Steve. He immediately felt bad after imagining that. He had fever dreams like this all the time. He felt double bad, because Steve was obviously straight and it made his gut turn, that he imagined stuff like this about a friend. He felt like a stupid horny teenager, when there was more pressing matters to attend to.Eddie's eyes were glazed over, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Mike, whom Eddie forgot about for a second there, didn't seem to want to disrupt whatever was happening with Eddie. He cleared his throat semi-politely and announced he was going to sit with Nancy and Robin to watch the festivities as they unfolded on TV for a bit. Nancy and Robin were graceful and didn't make a big deal of the disgruntled teenager returning back to the mothership. Bless them. Eddie's and Steve's glance met, when Steve put away the last pieces of broken china. Eddie immediately looked away, a pink shimmer on his cheeks. Steve sighed and washed his hands. “Can you go sit with Mike?”, he said towards Dustin. “I want to talk to Eddie.” “There's a lot of talking going on today, that's for sure.”, Dustin grumbled passive aggressively, walking out of the kitchen. Steve felt a bit bad about it, but he was going to make up for it later on, he figured.

When Eddie sat down at the table, he had a beautiful smile on his face, that also seemed sad or embarrassed, Steve could not tell. The cold from outside must have turned his cheeks a rosy hue. There were some candles still burning, other ones were already out.Steve swung the tea towel over his shoulder yet again and put some little bowles of chips and other snacks on the table. “So...What's up?” Eddie shook his head. “Angsty teenager stuff.”  Steve laughed. Eddie patted on the empty chair beside him. Steve followed, pulling up the chair, using it backwards, leaning his arms on the back rest. “Thanks for talking to him.” He nodded towards the living room, where Mike awkwardly sat on the rest of the couch, while Dustin joined them, immediately diving into the popcorn. “Yeah, no problem. He's just, you know, Mike.”

Steve snorted. “Yeah, he is.” “And I think. They're still having a hard time.”, Eddie continued. Steve sighed and leaned his chin on his forearms. “They miss them. A lot. Hell, even I miss that snarky little Erica voice.”, Eddie continued. “Who could blame them?”, Steve said more to himself.

“I think Mike feels lonely in Hawkins.”, Eddie said quietly, tilting his head towards the living room. Steve didn't say anything for a bit. The kitchen felt weirdly quiet after all that noise before. “Do you feel lonely in Hawkins?” Eddie scoffed. “Got lots to do. M'shifts at the mechanic. People don't have money to buy new tractors and cars. I'm in the back, so nobody gets to me.” He sighed. “Uncle Wayne is giving me a hard fucking time about that government housing. Constantly wants me to help him fix shit, or change shit. He hates it there.” “Move.”, Steve said, simply. Eddies eyebrows furrowed. “What?” “Move away. Doesn't Wayne have friends from the army somewhere?” Eddie was surprised, that Steve remembered that. “Yeah, but they live somewhere secluded, in east Jesus nowhere.”Some of the vets were not happy how they were treated after serving. And they did not get the assistance they needed to get back into civilian life. They lived somewhat self organized, somewhere in the desert. Wayne sometimes got letters from them, Eddie remembered Wayne chuckling to himself, while reading. And the only time he saw him writing was when he had to do tax returns or write back to his friends.

“It's not that easy, Steve... I can't just leave Uncle Wayne and the money...” “But we did get a good amount. You could start off somewhere new.” Steve offered.Eddies eyes got darker. He felt a little burning pit in his belly. “I don't have the same opportunities you do.” What he wanted to say was, I only have Uncle Wayne left. Where was he supposed to go? With whom?“I'm just saying-” Eddie sighed loudly, interrupted Steve with it. “I don't really think, you understand my situation here, Harrington.”Steve sat up in his chair. The 'Harrington' stung. Eddie hasn't called him that since before. It was a reminder of their past roles and Steve's status from before. Even if before didn't exist anymore and Steve was sure they let that part of the past behind them. Because it wasn't relevant anymore, not to him, at least. El and Max entered the kitchen again, Max's hands full of fire crackers and small fire works. Not the big ones, because no one liked loud noises at this point. “Do you guys want to go out and cause some chaos?”Steve looked at Eddie and raised his eyebrows. Eddie nodded. “Sure, why not. Get dressed.”, Steve said to the girls. Eddie watched Steve get up to get coats and shoes ready for outside. A tiny voice in him shouted derogatory terms. He didn't quiet know why he was so defensive right then. Defensive and a little bit mean. But he got up to follow them, anyway, cursing under his breath.

[skylarsin7]

Chapter 18: Possessions in a Box

Dustin insisted on spending the night on the grounds of not wanting to be alone, or allowing Lily to be alone either. Steve had no objections to the arrangement and Lily found herself with a roommate. Dustin sat on the edge of the bed, picking at a slice of pizza that had long ago gone cold and stale. "I saw El and the others go in after you. Did you get the chance to meet them?" He asked quietly. Lily nodded. "We met briefly. Tayr and two brothers I didn't recognize." Dustin nodded. "Mike, Will, and Jonathan." He explained, identifying each as he said their names. Lily sighed. "I don't think that El likes me very much." She admitted. Dustin didn't seem surprised by this.

"That's not unusual for her. It takes her some time for her to warm up to people. Give her time. You may find you have some things in common. She lost her dad as well." Lily was surprised by that. A sensation of sympathy welled in her chest, and she nodded, choosing to keep the fact that she felt uneasy around her as well. Dustin eyed her sideways. “You were also really pale when you came back to the car. What happened?” She couldn’t meet his gaze, biting her lip. “I tried to heal Max, but El and the others interrupted me.” Dustin’s eyes narrowed and she could feel his anger like a flame against her skin. “I told you not to do that! We don’t yet know what lasting effects using your powers will have on you. With El, her powers have to charge like a battery, but it is as if she is a conduit. I saw what it does to you. It saps more than just strength out of you.” He was breathing hard, exasperation and fear clear in every line of his face. Lily managed a contrite smile. 

"How are you holding up?" She asked quietly, diverting the conversation away from herself. Dustin sighed and his eyes told her that she may have diverted him this time, but they were not through having this conversation yet. His gaze slid away from her as he answered her question. "I feel…odd. Off kelter. Like I'm climbing a staircase and distinctly remember that there being one more stair than there is." Lily nodded, scooting closer to him. "I know how you feel." She admitted. He leaned his head against her shoulder and silence stretched between them. "I know you worry about me. But I can’t just sit by and wait like everyone else. I wasn’t able to save…him…but I’ll be damned if I don’t try and save Max.” Her voice was quiet, but with a thread of fierceness that booked no argument. And surprisingly, he didn’t offer one. “I know. All I can ask is that you be careful.” He said as he snuggled closer, and she wrapped her arm around him. “I can’t lose you too.” He admitted, his voice breaking as he tried to hang onto his emotions. She rubbed her knuckles up and down his arm, pulling him closer. “I know. I promise I will be careful. We need to do something for him. I know we weren't able to bring his body back for a proper burial, but I can’t just....I can’t let him go without a proper send off. After all he went through, he deserves to graduate." Lily said, the fierceness in her voice growing. It was a thought that had been burning in her mind since they had left the hospital. 

  Dustin smiled softly, sitting up. "I was hoping you would say that. What did you have in mind?"

Steve didn't know how long he stood outside their door, listening. Long enough to creep himself out for sure, but a part of him couldn't tear himself away. He listened as they talked, unable to make out any definitive words, but felt a twinge of jealousy over how casual they were with one another. She wouldn’t spare two words for him, and would barely look at him. But here Dustin was, holding a conversation with her. That jealousy had him wanting to knock on the door, to somehow interrupt the easy flow of conversation between them. He understood that they were grieving in ways he would not understand, but that didn’t stop him from feeling this way. He was about to give in to his jealousy when he heard a knock at his front door. 

With a sigh, he turned away from Lily’s room and made his way downstairs to the front door. Opening it, he was surprised to see Nancy standing there. His face must have shown his confusion because she held out a small box. “These are Lily’s things. Her pajamas and slippers, lockpicking set, wallet. Well, I guess her mother’s wallet anyway. I figured she might want some familiar things around her right now.” Steve took the box, marveling at how light it was. A scoff escaped him. “What’s so funny?” Nancy asked, her tone sharp. His gaze was soft as his eyes landed on hers. “Nothing really. I just find it sad that one’s whole life can be reduced to a few meager possessions in a box. Lily has so little now. And I don’t know how to help her.” His voice was strained with frustration. Nancy’s eyes softened as they swept over him. He shivered. Even now Nancy still had the power to make him quake. “Be there for her. That’s all you can do. This is something she is going to have to work through, but we need to be there on the sidelines should she need help in any way.” Nancy glanced away, swallowing. 

“I never got to tell you how brave I thought you were down there. You jumped in with both hands, no matter what needed to be done.” She said quietly. Steve could only stare at her. “I wasn’t brave. Not really. If I’m being honest, I was trying to be a hero. Stupid, really. For that very thing was what got Eddie killed.” His tone was bitter, full of self-loathing. Nancy reached for his hand, but stopped herself just short of touching him. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. He chose to deviate from the plan. There wasn’t anything anyone could have done to stop him. Lily is living proof of that.” She said quietly. They stood for a moment in silence. “How’s Jonathan?” Steve couldn’t stop himself from asking. Nancy looked startled by the question. “F-fine. He and Will are going to be staying in the basement for a few days while we try to get ahold of Joyce again. Seems no one has heard from her or Murray since they left for Alaska.” She explained. Steve nodded. So he is going to be an arm’s reach away from you… Part of him sneered. He forced down that jealous voice. He shouldn’t have been surprised, really. Jonathan was her boyfriend after all. Steve was just a memory of a time before they knew about the Upside Down, back when they just were stupid teenagers learning what it meant to be in love for the first time. They had both grown so much since then.

“I’m glad he and Mike and Will are safe.” He managed when he realized he hadn’t spoken in several minutes. She managed a small smile. “Me too, although I wish they were still in Lenora. At least they would be safer there than they will be here.” She bit her lip. “Anyway, I should go. It’s getting late.” She said quietly. Steve could only nod as she turned away from him. It took everything inside him not to call after her, to capture those trembling lips with his own and make her forget, for just a second, how precarious their situation was. But he didn’t. He couldn’t do that to her.

         He watched as Nancy climbed back into her car, and even forced himself to wave as she backed down the drive and disappeared into the night. As the glow of her tail lights faded he couldn’t help but take a glance up at the window of Lily’s room. The light was out, which meant that they had likely gone to bed. He sighed again, closing the door. 

  He carried the box to the second floor landing, debating for only a moment before knocking lightly on the door. “Yes?” Came Lily’s quiet reply. She hadn’t been asleep yet by how quickly she answered. “I have something for you.” Steve said quietly, backing away from the door a step. She opened the door tentatively, wide hazel eyes staring out of a too-pale face. How had he not noticed how pale she was? Surely she hadn’t been that pale this morning. He lifted the box for her to see it. “Nancy brought these over for you. Your pajamas, slippers…” He let his voice trail. She offered him a half smile, holding his gaze for only a moment before her eyes slid to the contents of the box. “All this feels like a lifetime ago. Thank you.” She said quietly. Steve nodded. 

         “I’m sorry I yelled at you this morning. I was…surprised to see you and…” He fought for words, something that wouldn’t sound as stupid as he felt. He had been afraid for her. He had no right to keep her locked away in the house. Even if it was for her own protection. She shook her head. “I understand why you did. Someone could have seen me…or worse. My parents could have found me.” She cast a small smile over her shoulder, to the bed where Dustin was snoring softly. “But Dustin and Wayne took care of that. They won’t be searching for me ever again.” Her smile faded. “My only regret is not retrieving my box of treasures.” She said heavily, her voice quiet. Steve couldn’t hide his interest. “What kind of treasures?” He asked. She hesitated a moment. “A collection of small, sentimental things I’ve collected. My dad’s wedding band and his collection of band pins, a cassette recording of my dad singing to my mom. It was the only cassette that escaped my mother’s grief.” There was a sadness in her voice that made Steve’s heart ache. He wished he could comfort her, but knew his touch would not be wanted or welcomed. It was a miracle she even looked at him at all.

         “Where is it?” He couldn’t help but ask. She sighed. “Under the loose floorboard in my room. I hid them so that they wouldn’t be destroyed or thrown away.” Steve made a mental note of this. Perhaps he could surprise her with them. Give her a little piece of what she had lost back. Lily sighed. “Thank you again for these.” She lifted the box, offering him another half-hearted smile. He nodded. Silence stretched between them. He knew she had been attempting to dismiss him, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn away from her. She was pale, definitely paler than she had been this morning, blue veins running like spiderwebs beneath her skin. Pain showed in every line of her face. She was hurting so badly, and he felt powerless to help her. 

         “I know this may sound like a dumb question but…are you alright?” He searched her face, dark brown eyes so much like Eddie’s drilling into her own. She knew she couldn’t lie to him. “No, I don’t think I am.” She replied carefully. “Anything I can do to help?” He asked. She hesitated. “I don’t know. Something happened to me in the Upside Down. And now, I can do things. Not like El. Or Vecna. I noticed it first in the War Zone. I burned Jason with just a thought.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She summoned the power from deep inside herself, like dragging a fish to the surface of a dark lake. She felt the familiar tingle, faint, but there. She opened her eyes, their depths no longer the shifting hazel but a molten amber, glowing faintly off his face. His eyes widened. “What the--” She glanced away from him hurriedly. “As I said, something happened to me when we were in the Upside Down. My character, Aezadora, can bend certain elements, like fire and light to her will. It worked with fire, so I tried it with light. And it worked. She is also adept in healing magic….” She trailed off, glancing back up at him. He hadn’t moved. “I know how this sounds. Crazy, delusional, whatever. But it’s the truth. I tried to heal E…” She choked on his name, swallowing hard as she fell silent. “But I failed. So I tried again with Max today. But using these abilities… has a cost. It always does. And Dustin seems to think that that cost might be my own strength. And maybe even more than that.” She admitted. Steve visibly shivered. “It saps your life, doesn’t it?” He asked. Her silence was all the answer he needed.

         “I know it isn’t my place to tell you how to live your life, but I don’t like the idea of not knowing how these powers work. I know you want to help Max. Trust me, no one understands that better than I do. I shouldn’t have let her act as bait. I never should have allowed E-…” He choked on the name as she had, but it was obvious of whom he spoke. “I never should have allowed him to come with us. And now he is gone, and it was my plan that killed him.” Lily wanted to reach for him, to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, but she couldn’t make herself move. So she settled for the next best thing. “I want to do something for him.” She said quickly. Steve glanced at her, confusion wrinkling his brow. “I want to do a proper send off for him. He deserves that. And Wayne deserves some closure.” With the enthusiasm in her gaze he found he couldn’t argue with her. “What did you have in mind?”

***

         “I cannot tell you how uncomfortable this makes me, Lily.” Steve murmured as he pulled up in front of the school. It was nearly midnight and the place was deserted. “So don’t try. Don’t worry, I’ll be in and out as fast as possible. With luck, no one will ever know I was here.” She got out of the car before he could argue further and make her change her mind.

         She crouched low, keeping close to the ground as she nearly sprinted across the grounds, her gaze darting back and forth in anticipation of discovery. She was grateful that there were minimal locks and that this particular institution did not seem to have security cameras. At least, none that she had found so far. She picked the gate padlock quickly, closing the door behind her to stave off suspicion. It was bad enough that Steve was idling on the curb. Should one of this town’s more zealous cops happen upon him, they would be completely screwed. Ignoring the niggling fear growing in her belly, she made her way quietly through the halls to the principal’s office. They had to be in here. Somewhere. She started at one end of the office and worked her way towards the other, tearing through filing cabinets and drawers, all coming up empty. Frustration boiled in her belly. Her search became steadily more frantic with each failed attempt. There was only one place remaining. The desk. She circled around behind the huge chunk of polished oak, clicking her tongue as she bent to inspect the aged brass fittings. To her surprise, the drawers opened easily, save for one. She smiled. This had to be it. 

         She picked this lock more carefully, depressing each tumbler slowly so as not to scratch the keyhole. She held her breath as she slid it open. A huge Manila envelope sat at the very top. Bingo. She slid it free, carefully opening it so that when she replaced it, no one would be able to tell it was handled at all. The top page was a blank diploma, likely the master copy. Already signed by the Superintendent. Lily smiled. Finally, something was going right. 

Her smile faded a little as she noticed that the principal had not yet signed the master copy. Grabbing a spare bit of paper, she searched the desk once more for anything that may have been signed by him so she could practice his signature. There would be no point in going through this if it wasn’t going to be completely official. Thankfully, whoever was principal in this place was vastly disorganized and had papers nearly falling off the desk in haphazard piles. She found a form with a loosely scrawled signature along the bottom. Another smile graced her lips. This would be a piece of cake. 

Placing her scrap paper beneath the signature, she very carefully traced it in pencil, pressing fairly hard to imprint the paper beneath. She had to bite her lip to keep from hollering in triumph as it came out nearly flawlessly. She traced it again, going much slower this time, following the curve of the grooves to replicate the signature on the diploma. She could hear Eddie’s chuckle in her ear. “Grand Theft Auto, theft of a wallet, and now breaking and entering? There is some devil in those angel eyes of yours, Lil.” Her own laugh felt hollow and strange in her throat as it escaped her, nearly a half-sob. When she finished the last loop, she held it away from herself to check her handiwork. It looked like all the others, neat and official. “Told you that you would graduate, Eds. It is your year.” The thought came unbidden and with it, a fresh flow of tears. Gods, but she was tired of crying. 

  Carefully, she rolled up the diploma, tucking it in her hoodie sleeve. That way, if she was caught, she wouldn’t immediately be caught with stolen property and for falsifying documents, forging a signature, or anything else they might think up. She closed the drawer and relocked it, leaving the office pretty much as she had found it. With as disorganized as their principal seemed to be, it was unlikely that he would notice any difference.   She retraced her steps through the lawn once more, taking a quick glance around before climbing back into the car. She was breathless, the short trek through the school and to the car seeming to have winded her. “Did you get it?” Steve asked, his eyes watching her with concern. She nodded, managing a half smile. “Piece of cake, see?” She held up the roll, letting it drop to her lap and laying her head back. She was still having trouble getting her breath. “Are you alright?” He asked. She nodded again. “Just out of breath.” He eyed her a moment longer, his concern written in every line of his face. “Let’s go before someone finds us.” She urged, forcing herself to take deep, even breaths. He hesitated for a moment before turning his attention to the wheel.

[schrijverr]

Life Is Ours, We Live It Our Way 14

Chapter 14 out of 18

Genderqueer Stevie with platonic soulmates Robin and Eddie living their best queer life.

In this chapter, over the course of spring break, Stevie connects with all his kids and is there for them, especially as El and Mike break up. Meanwhile, their new DnD campaign comes every closer, with that new characters to be introduced.

On AO3.

Ships: None (background stuff)

Warnings: Anxiety and misgendering that comes with not being out.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Kids

In the morning, the house is truly alive like Stevie’s previous house never was, reminding her of the Byers house whenever they all stay there. It’s amazing.

Stevie is cooking eggs and bacon nearly non-stop with Eddie helping in herding the kids, while Robin mans the toaster to get them all fed. It takes almost an hour, before the three can go and eat as well.

However, the kids are all having fun, with Lucas smiling as he talks with Dustin and Max. So, it’s very worth it.

Their whole house is taken over by gremlins, so they watch over them from the kitchen counter, eating as they stand up. Robin softly asks: “I saw the note. You two okay?”

“Nightmare,” Eddie gives her tight smile and she nods, half hugging him as she continues to eat with the other hand.

Stevie also nods that he’s okay, before he notes El standing and studying the fridge. Nervously he steps closer as he sees she’s mostly locked onto the picture from the fashion night he and Rob had a few months ago. He asks: “You okay there, El?”

“You are very pretty,” she comments, looking back at Stevie with her big serious eyes.

The compliment gives her a zing of endorphins and she smiles: “Thank you, El.”

“How come you’re not pretty more often?” she asks.

At that, Stevie hesitates. He has already explained homophobia to this girl and she has been one of Will’s greatest supporters, but is he really going to explain gender and expectations of gender to her in the kitchen on this morning?

Stevie looks at her again. She has no malice in her eyes, just innocent curiosity and Stevie decides it will be better if she’s the one to introduce it to her, instead of one of the kids, whom she’ll likely go to, should Stevie fail to give a satisfying response.

“Well, society doesn’t like it,” he settles on. “There are certain expectations about being a boy or a girl and if you don’t fulfill those expectations, people often get mad. Looking like that wouldn’t be safe outside.”

“Everyone should get to be pretty,” El frowns and Stevie remember the party telling her how badly El wants to be pretty, reclaim that feminine part of herself that was stripped by that horrid lab. And again her heart aches for this girl, who deserves so so so much better.

“They should,” he agrees with her.

“Do you want to be pretty like that all the time?” she asks, completely genuine and not knowing the emotions she is sending through Stevie right now.

“No,” she lies, breaking their number one rule. “I was just playing around with Robin. We were both trying different styles. Like you and Max do dress up sometimes.”

“I like it when me and Max do dress up,” El nods, as if she gets what Stevie is saying. It’s horridly cute. “We talk while we dress up.”

“What sort of things do you talk about?” Stevie asks, curious and glad to have a distraction from the picture on the fridge.

“Boys,” El whispers, leaning in like it’s some sort of secret. “Max thinks the Karate Kid would be a good kisser.”

“Does she now,” Stevie giggles.

“She does,” El says. “But we also talk about Lucas and Mike. Max has a lot of ideas about how they should treat us. It is why Mike and I broke up for a bit in the summer of ‘85.”

“Yeah?” Stevie asks, frowning a little. He hasn’t heard of this yet, but he knows Max knows her own self worth, so she wonders what the girl told El to get her to break up with Mike, while the two seemed practically conjoined.

“Max said he treated me like shit, like I was his little pet,” El confides.

Stevie desperately wants to know more. Now. She notices that they’re getting looks, so he puts on his best smile and asks: “Hey, El, wanna go outside and talk for a bit?” giving a look to anyone that looks like they’re about to offer to come too.

El frowns, but shrugs: “Sure.”

They go to the back porch where they now have a little bench and directs her to sit next to him there, smiling disarmingly at her.

“Is there something wrong?” El asks.

“I hope not,” Stevie answers. “But just in case, I wanted to ask without prying ears. I hope that’s okay?” El nods. “Why did Max say that Mike treated you that way?”

“It was back when Hopper rarely let me go outside. Mike came by often, but did not show me the female superheroes and we rarely hung out with my other friends. He was also lying me, but I only know that because we spied on him and Hopper made him,” El confesses. “And he did not tell me that he loved me when I was in California. But he does now.”

“And you’re happy with Mike?” Stevie asks. It still doesn’t sound the healthiest, but she’s not exactly a poster-boy for having normal relations herself.

“Yes, I love him. He has always been my friend,” El says firmly.

“Okay,” Stevie nods. Then can’t help himself and asks: “Can I give you a piece of wisdom?”

El thinks about it. Stevie likes that about her, she always takes the time to think about the things she’s told, so you know she means her answer. It’s refreshing after all the fake people like Tommy H. and Carol. “Yes,” she answers.

“You can love someone and not be with them if you’re not right for each other. Like me and Nance,” she tells her. “And it is also okay to want to try and be your own person without a partner for a bit. If you’re meant to be, you’ll find each other again. However, you’re also not required to love someone to make you a person. Or human.”

“Hm,” El hums, her only reply.

“I don’t know much about your relationship with Mike and it’s your life and your decision,” Stevie says. “I just know that those realizations were kind of revolutionary to me. So I thought they might not be evident to you either.”

“Thank you, Steve,” she says.

“Of course,” Stevie smiles, then decides to be a little brave and adds: “You know, friends call me Stevie.”

“Like people call me El?” she asks.

And he nods, because it is kind of similar. Both of them have reclaimed a bit of their name, changed it and shaped it alongside themselves to fit the person they want to be, instead of who others said they should be. So, he answers: “Exactly.”

Then she asks: “Why do only Eddie and Robin call you that? Are you not friends with the rest of the party?”

“I am,” Stevie confirms, then winks: “But they haven’t earned their cool points yet. You on the other hand are bitchin’ enough.”

That makes her giggle, before she says: “Max is bitchin’ enough.”

“Then I hereby give you the honor to tell Max that,” Stevie laughs, mentally wondering how that conversation will go and hoping that pushing her towards her friend, who seems to be a good influence here, will help her talk about what Stevie just said.

“I will,” she smiles, before skipping back inside.

Once she has gone back in, Eddie pops out and asks: “Everything okay there?”

“Yeah, El said something that worried me, but it wasn’t the worst thing, just some codependency that we might need to address at some point,” Stevie answers.

“Aren’t we all walking posters for that,” Eddie jokes, making Stevie laugh.

They drive all the kids home, subsequently getting invited to dinner by Joyce, since there won’t be a movie night this week, because the kids are holding one later. It’s spring break after all, no school the next morning.

The three, however, still have work they need to get to.

When they get to dinner – Robin of course also invited – Jonathan and Nancy have come back from college for the break.

It’s almost funny, Stevie thinks, that she thought she would spend her future with Nance, but now he has forgotten to make meeting up with her now that she’s home for break even an agenda point, while he has done so for movie night with the kids.

Still, it’s nice getting to catch up with both of them. College looks good on them and it’s nice to see them be happy after everything.

Robin, naturally, talks their ears off, asking all sorts of things about college life now that she’s waiting for her own acceptance letters. It’s something that hurts a bit, but Stevie can only smile at her enthusiasm. She deserves it.

El isn’t at the table, apparently off to have a sleep over with Max, but Will is there and excitedly asking Eddie questions about the new campaign. He is naming his new character Will the Worldly, a traveler, who is well learned in many things.

“I always be Will the Wise,” he tells Eddie. “But I’ve seen so much and I think that makes me more me then my wisdom.”

“Will the Worldly,” Eddie tests it on his tongue, then grins: “I like it,” which naturally makes Will beam.

It’s a nice dinner. Homey. The Byers will always be the closest thing to an extended family she or Eddie will ever have and each time they can come over, it’s a delight.

When they get home, it’s late and they have tupperware full of food with them.

Sunday morning, Stevie gets up early to meet up with Lucas to run. Both Eddie and Robin think he’s insane and they cling to him when he tries to leave, whining that they’ll have to eat Eddie’s cooking for breakfast, even if the man has learned to make some nice pancakes.

Lucas is already waiting for her when she manages to get free. They always walk to their meeting point, which is somewhere between their houses so that they’ll have a warming up.

As they start to run, Stevie notes that Lucas has gotten much taller over the year, already Stevie’s current height, which makes her feel all sorts of things. God, these kids are growing up. Right in front of his eyes.

He also notes that Lucas’ shoulders seems relaxed as they run. So, after a mile or so in silence, Stevie asks: “Slept well?”

“Yeah,” Lucas smiles. “Our talk helped a lot. Thank you.”

“No worries, I was just telling the truth,” Stevie smiles, happy to know Lucas is feeling better. But it reminds him of his other favorite Sinclair. “How’s Erica?”

“She’s been doing well. She just has her nights, you know,” Lucas shrugs.

“We all do,” Stevie says.

“Uh-huh,” Lucas agrees. “But I’m keeping an eye on her. Her grades aren’t slipping and she’s still social, just a little less. But we all know it’s harder to connect with people after this.”

Stevie nods, then asks: “You could maybe ask if Max would include her more often when she hangs out with El. I’m sure Erica would love having some friends that she can do something other than DnD with, who also understand.”

Lucas thinks about it, before nodding: “I can ask. I think Max loves her after she slashed the tires of that police car.”

“God, don’t remind me,” Stevie groans. “I’ll get my gray hairs too early because of you lot.”

And Lucas, the asshole, just laughs then speeds up a bit as he calls back: “Keep up, old man.”

It’s the fastest they’ve ran their track yet.

When Stevie gets back Eddie and Robin are sitting at the table, looking mildly alive as they sip their coffee and eat pancakes. A hot stack waiting for Stevie next to a steaming mug.

“You guys are the best, I love you,” Stevie groans, digging in.

“Love you too, dingus,” Robin smiles. “How was running for no reason?”

“It was fun,” Stevie smiles, the exercise always making him happy and awake. “Lucas looked better too. Has been sleeping well.”

“That’s nice,” Eddie says.

He and Robin have a double shift, so they take off after breakfast. The weekend combined with the fact that it’s spring break makes it that it is shaping up to be incredibly busy. Something that is homophobic according to Robin and Stevie can’t agree more.

Indeed, she’s exhausted at the end of the day. However, it is movie night and the kids will kill her and Eddie if they don’t show up, so they’ve moved their scene to next Sunday.

Movie night promises to be something, when he enters and is greeted by Dustin yelling: “Why don’t I have Stevie friend privileges?”

Okay, apparently that has traveled, Stevie thinks, unsure if she regrets it. Though, if he is to gather the courage to play Lady Stevie, then maybe this is a good start. He puts on a patented Harrington smirk and shoots back: “Didn’t El mention you need cool points?”

That earns him a round of guffaws as Dustin tries to defend himself and his coolness, which undermines the point he’s trying to make completely.

Once Stevie has gotten her entertainment she laughs: “I’m joking. You can call me whatever you want.” He sees the glint in Dustin’s and – more scarily – Erica’s eyes, so quickly adds: “Within reason and without being weird. Don’t think I won’t fight you, Henderson.”

Luckily, Dustin is just too smug to have Stevie privileges that he works it into conversation as often as he can that night, which is very affirming. Yeah, this was a good move, Stevie decides, cuddled up on the love seat with Eddie and Robin as always.

Curiously El and Mike aren’t glued together with El sitting next to Max and Lucas, while Mike is by Will.

Still it’s a fun night and it sucks to leave. Though all the kids excitedly shove their new characters in Eddie’s hands, telling him they can’t wait for the new campaign next Friday.

Mike is now Mike the Mutinous, deciding that he stands against authority, which tracks with what they know of him. For Dustin, he becomes Dustin the Dazzling, always ready with a solutions, presented in the most dramatic way. Lucas smiles when Stevie asks and says that it’s Lucas the Laureled, switching from his planned sports hero to war hero, since he feels like he has earned that sense of accomplishment. Stevie hugs him tightly after that.

Eddie is also very happy with how the kids have decided to showcase their growth and what they want to focus on when they’re sitting at home the next day. However, he laments: “These kids underestimate how long it takes to make a campaign. I can’t pull something out of my ass this quickly.”

Stevie snorts: “I have seen you pull full monologues out of your ass without issue. You’re gonna be fine. If you truly have nothing, we’ll just play a one shot to get used to the new characters.”

“You, sweetheart, are a genius,” Eddie grins. “And I am quite amazing, yes, thank you.”

“Idiot,” Stevie rolls her eyes.

“But you love me anyway,” Eddie singsongs.

“Sadly,” Stevie deadpans.

Eddie sticks out his tongue at that, stating: “Rude. I love you and this is how I’m repaid?”

“Get over yourself,” is what Stevie says, but he can’t stop smiling.

They fall into comfortable silence again, before Eddie tentatively says: “Hey, Stevie, princess, I haven’t seen you make a character yet. Are you planning on playing Lady Stevie?”

“I think so,” Stevie admits. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, of course, if you think you’re ready then I support you,” Eddie says. “I wouldn't have killed Sir Stephen if I didn’t believe in everyone at that table. But it’s your decision.”

“Thank you,” Stevie smiles. “I really want to.”

“Then Lady Stevie it is,” Eddie grins. “Not going to lie, I’m excited for you. And I’ve been thinking about plot ideas for Lady Stevie much longer than these other characters. You and Lady Applejack are going to be the stars in the coming campaign.”

“Surprise me.”

“Oh, I plan too!”

Then both turn back to their original projects. For Eddie it’s his campaign, while Stevie is doing meal prep to make the rest of the week easier. In the background plays a Metallica album, since Eddie got to pick music tonight.

It’s not until he’s opening up Family Video, the next morning that the anxiety of what he has agreed to hits him. She knows she can back out still, but she’d feel bad and dislike himself for not going through with it.

Robin has a late shift, so he won’t really see her until he’s picking her up after and Eddie works the whole day. So, he’s stewing alone in all the bad reactions he’s sure to get from the kids when he pulls out his new character. Only to try to talk herself out of the spiral, because she knows these kids better than that. Rinse and repeat.

She survives her shift, feeling a bit calmer as he takes a moment to chat with Robin as they change the guard so to say.

At home, he starts cleaning up. It’s calming for the mind and it keeps his hands busy. Besides, it was time to clean again anyway.

However, he gets startled out of it by a knocking on his door. She frowns, wondering who it could be as she turns down the music and leans the mop against the wall. Opening the door reveals Mike and surprised Stevie greets: “Wheeler, what can I do for you? How did you even get here?”

“Nancy drove me,” Mike replies. “Can I come in?”

He looks serious and Stevie gets a bit concerned as she lets him in, making him sit at the table as she starts up some water for tea. As it boils, he sits across from Mike at the table and asks: “Is everything okay?”

“Uhm, El broke up with me,” Mike says, not looking up.

“Oh, kid,” Stevie sighs sympathetically, even if he isn’t surprised given that he might have unintentionally pushed this. “That sucks.”

“I- I don’t know what to do,” Mike says after a moment. “I don’t even know why I’m here, but- I- I just don’t know.”

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out,” Stevie assures him. “Just tell me what happened, that sound okay?”

“Y- Yeah,” Mike nods and Stevie has never seen him like this. It’s a bit concerning. He starts to explain: “She, uhm- She told me that she wants to be her own person, find who she is without me, and that she loved me and that she always will, but that she didn’t want this right now.”

“And how do you feel about that?” Stevie asks.

“I don’t know!” Mike exclaims throwing his hands up. “I thought we were fine and now suddenly we’re not. And I didn’t do anything. If she loves me why doesn’t she want to be with me?”

“Well, not everyone who loves each other are meant to be,” Stevie says. “I loved Nance, but we weren’t meant for each other, it just happens. Sometimes it’s the right person, but the wrong time and that sucks, but it’s okay.”

Mike frowns: “I don’t want to be like you and Nancy. You never see each other again, I can’t live without El in my life.”

“Hey, just because you’re not together, doesn’t mean you can’t be in each other’s life,” Stevie replies. “I’m not together with Eddie, he’s still there. And I don’t see Nance as often, but she’s still there. You’re friends with the others in the party and they don’t just disappear.”

“But it won’t be the same,” Mike says.

“Something different might be good,” Stevie points out.

“Maybe,” Mike agrees. “But it can also be terrible. What if she becomes this whole other person and I don’t know her anymore. What if she doesn’t want to be friends. Or we can’t make it work and the party has to pick sides, which inevitably makes that we’ll fall apart!”

“Okay, tone down the teen drama,” Stevie tries to calm Mike down. “All of you are changing and growing up. It’s part of life. You’ve been through enough together for that not to happen, trust me here.”

“I just don’t get it,” Mike says, putting his head down on the table. “She is already a person. She’s El, our mage and superhero, you know. She’s cool. Why is that suddenly not enough? Why does she suddenly has to find herself outside of that?”

“Well,” Stevie says, personally knowing what it’s like to not really know who you are. “I can maybe give you some insight, but you might not like it.”

“Huh?”

Behind them the water boils and Stevie gets up to pour their tea. As she does, she says: “I have some wisdom here. Or at least what I think about her reasoning. If you think you can handle my opinion.”

“Tsk, you’re not wise in any way. Even Nancy has better advice,” Mike rolls his eyes.

“Then why not go to Nance, hotshot,” Stevie shoots back with a raised brow as he sits back down, sliding Mike his tea and taking a sip of his own.

Mike huffs again, then grits out: “Okay, tell me.”

“From what I’m hearing,” Stevie starts, trying to word it carefully. “El to you is who you first met and for her the person you met was very tied to the lab. That’s something she wants to get away from. With Max, she reads magazines and talks about makeup and boys and silly things girls her age talk about. With you she’s Eleven, the girl with superpowers. I can understand that she wants to take a moment to get away from that.”

It’s quiet as Mike processes and Stevie gives him all the time he needs. It’s never fun to hear that the way you treated someone you love in a way that hurt them, especially when you didn’t notice and mean it like that.

“Was I horrible to her?” Mike asks in a soft voice, a crack in the middle.

“No, Mike, you weren’t,” Stevie assures him. “You were there for her in a rough time and you’ve been her biggest supporter. I don’t doubt that you love her.”

The words tip Mike over the edge and Stevie watches with mild horror as tears start to slide down Mike’s face. His shoulders shake and he obviously tries to hide it, but it’s not working. So, Stevie only hesitates for a second, before she moves to the other side of the table and slings an arm around Mike, so that he can hide there and let it all out.

“It hurts,” Mike chokes out. “I love her and hurt her.”

“Oh, Mike, it’s okay,” Stevie says. “Let it out. You both loved each other and I’m sure El hasn’t been completely perfect either. It’s okay for it to hurt. First love always does.”

Mike cries for a little longer, before he manages to calm down. Then he harshly wipes the tears away and threatens: “No one can hear about this.”

“My mouth is sealed,” Stevie promises.

“Good,” Mike says, before he shrugs Stevie’s arm off him.

They sit in silence for a little, then Stevie says: “I know talking about it sucks. Trust me. Whenever I cry, I want to erase it too. But I won’t tell, so if you need a listening ear, I’m here. You can tell me how you’re feeling.”

“I don’t know,” Mike answers. “It’s weird. I wanted to ask you how to win her back, like this is only temporary. Like Max and Lucas. They broke up all the time. But now…”

Stevie lets him gather his thoughts without interrupting. After a moment, Mike continues: “Now I don’t think I should. But I also don’t like not being with her. I- I need her in my life. When I thought she was missing, I thought I was dying. How can I let her go?”

“You have to learn to accept it,” Stevie shrugs, the sad hard truth. “This wasn’t meant to be right now and you have to accept it. If you blame her for it or agonize over it, it’s only going to hurt both of you and drive you apart. She’s still your friend, don’t forget that. It’s hard to get over someone, but you’ll find someone new.”

Mike shoots him a confused look and asks: “You think I should go after Will?”

“Not if he’s a rebound, no,” Stevie says. “And that was not what I meant. Though exploring this other side of you is of course encouraged. I meant that this is not end. First love will always remain with you, but your first breakup isn’t the end.”

“It feels like it,” Mike grouches.

Stevie can’t suppress the smile as she nods: “I’m sure it does. But it isn’t. Why don’t you stay here for a bit and gather yourself. I’ll keep the others away if any of the hooligans you call friends come knocking. How does that sound?”

It looks like it hurts Mike to admit it – the whole going to Stevie for help thing probably hurts the teen – but he grits out: “Good. Thanks.”

“Alright,” Stevie says, getting up and going back to cleaning. He finishes up mopping and putters around as Mike sits and stares at the table. In total he sits there for about half an hour, before he says: “Can I get a lift home?

“Of course,” Stevie smiles, not joking, not today. So, she doesn’t say more and just grabs her keys and lets Mike pick the music.

When they roll up to the Wheeler house Nancy is waiting outside, visibly relieved to see Mike in the passenger seat looking okay. His eyes might be a bit red, but he’s nodding along to music Stevie can’t stand with a big, annoying grin.

“Mike,” she calls out, waving.

Stevie can see a scathing teen reply forming on Mike’s lips, so he cuts him of before he can and sternly says: “Let her worry about you. You deserve the support. Now scram, Wheeler.”

And Stevie is proud to say that Mike looks a bit like a deer in headlights, almost like when he was twelve years old again and just learning what an attitude was. So, Stevie grins and repeats: “Scram, Wheeler,” and laughs as Mike stumbles out of the car. He calls out to Nancy: “Say hi to Jonathan and your mom from me.”

“Thank you, Steve,” she calls back with a wave, before pulling Mike into a hug, who – surprisingly enough – lets her.

After that Stevie drives home, the debacle with Mike temporarily making him forget that she was anxious about the upcoming DnD night. However, he is reminded when tidying up their room, seeing the little figurine look over him.

It’s practically a relief when it’s time to pick up Robin from work so they can eat together. He desperately needs to be distracted and assured that it’s going to be fine right now.

Robin talks his ear off about all sort of things. A few hot girls came in, Keith was no help, she watched a fun movies and is going to force Stevie to watch it next shift, and there were a few rude customers.

Then she nervously rambles about how she still hasn’t gotten a letter from IUPUI, which has the best foreign language program in Indy.

“Rob, your essay was amazing. You still have time,” Stevie assures her, glad to focus on her problems instead of her own. “You’ll get that letter soon.”

“You really think so?” Robin asks. “Because, yeah, a mall fire is more than the average essay writer, but half of it was made up, since, you know, government cover up. What if I forget something I wrote and they think I lied – which I technically did – and I’ll get kicked out?”

“They’re not going to interrogate you,” Stevie rolls his eyes.

“Interrogate me,” Robin snorts, doing her stupid Russian accent that shouldn’t be funny after their run in with the Russians, but it kind of is.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stevie laughs. “I just know that you’re going to do great. Don’t worry about it.”

Robin shakes and repeats: “Don’t worry about it. I can do that. I’m great at not worrying. I just have to erase most of my personality and-”

“Robin,” Stevie scolds before she can spiral again, parking the car. “Relax. You’re going to be fine.”

“I’m sorry,” Robin grimaces. “And thank you.”

“No problem,” Stevie says. “Just try and put it out of your mind. It’s no use worrying about it and it’s important to relax.”

It’s a bit hypocritical of her to say this, but it works. Robin looks more relaxed when she gets out of the car and flounces up to the front door, unlocking it.

“My lady,” Eddie greets, giving her a quick peck on the cheek, knowing hugs aren’t her thing.

She laughs and takes his hand, giving it a kiss as she greets him in turn: “My lord.”

“You’re both dorks,” Stevie tells them as he enters.

“But you love us,” Robin sticks her tongue out.

“Don’t deny it,” Eddie grins, sweeping Stevie up in a hug that makes her giggle.

“I won’t, it was more a statement. A fact, if you will,” he replies. Then asks: “How was your day, Eds? Lot of assholes back for spring break with faulty cars?”

“A few. But it’s not that bad,” Eddie shrugs. “More interesting, did you know El and Mike broke up? Dustin and the band of other dipshits showed up at work today to come tell me.”

“Of course they did,” Stevie snorts, happy to laugh at her friend’s struggles now that the kids can also corner him at work.

“They broke up!” Robin exclaims. “I truly thought they were forever. My faith in love has taken yet another hit.”

“Love is overrated anyway,” Eddie says. “But you don’t seem surprised, princess.”

“Mike showed up asking for advice,” Stevie replies. “Which I will not discuss with either of you, so don’t ask. I know you two are worse than old ladies at church.”

“That’s rude,” Eddie gasps, faux offended.

“And you’re just as bad,” Robin backs him up.

“Yeah, yeah, but seriously,” Steve says. “I made a promise. And it wasn’t that interesting either. The two are going to be friends. It’s not going to be very different, I just won’t have to watch as Mike awkwardly tries to kiss her.”

“Oh god, a mercy for us,” Eddie wrinkles his nose. “I support the kid, it’s not that, but, eugh, awkward teen romance. Fuck no.”

“Touche,” Robin says, as she plops on the couch. “What’s for dinner?”

“We’re making lasagna,” Stevie answers.

“We?” Robin repeats.

“Yes, Robbie, I am learning how to cook, so that I can contribute more to this household than pancakes, eggs and pasta, as more people should do,” Eddie replies.

“Oi, I can make a salad,” Robin replies.

“Throwing lettuce and ranch in a bowl is not a salad,” Stevie tells her.

“Looks like you’ll be on dish washing duty for forever, Robs,” Eddie jeers.

“Maybe I like washing dishes,” Robin counters with a huff, crossing her arms.

“Whatever,” Eddie says, not believing her, before turning back to Stevie, who has been watching them with amusement, egging them on.

The lasagna turns out well and Robin compliments both of them and does the dishes gracefully, ignoring Eddie’s grin. Afterwards they put on the TV and laze around on the couch. At some point Wayne calls that he can’t make this Thursday for their dinner, which Robin is sad about since she could make it this week and she happens to like Wayne.

“Everyone likes Wayne,” Eddie argues and neither can really debate that, so they just agree.

Stevie still placates Robin: “You can come by anyway. Despite not being as great as Wayne, you’re still okay company.”

“You’re a fucking asshole, Stevie,” Robin giggles.

“I try,” Stevie grins back, having grown enough that the comment from Robin doesn’t hurt.

Soon after they go to bed. Both Stevie and Robin have a double shift on Wednesday this week, so they can use the full night. Stevie wakes up at some point, but is quickly lulled by to sleep by the even breathing surrounding her.

Work the next day is okay. Robin indeed forces him to watch that movie she mentioned yesterday. It is some sort of art house movie and Stevie gets exactly none of it, but she seems excited and there is not much better to do, except focus on the upcoming campaign, which only stresses her out. So, she gladly focuses on the stupid movie.

He and Eddie eat left overs that evening and Eddie continues writing the campaign, while Stevie busies himself by calling Madame Tucker to check in.

She’s just telling him about something Brian did for their half year anniversary, which is just adorable. Stevie is so happy for her. She deserves the happiness. When there is an urgent knocking on the door.

Eddie is blasting music on his headphones while working in his room as to give Stevie privacy, so he doesn’t notice the knocking. Stevie has half the mind to ignore it. This is her time and she doesn’t want to deal with whatever nonsense is knocking.

However, Madame Tucker stops mid-sentence to asks: “Is there someone trying to break down your door? Honey, what’s happening?”

“Steve!” Dustin yells and Stevie sighs.

“One of the idiots is knocking. Give me a second to tell them to piss off,” Stevie says, stretching the cord to reach the door.

“Oeff, mama Stevie fighting for her private time,” Madame Tucker laughs.

Stevie also huffs out a small laugh, before tilting the receiver down on his shoulder and throwing open the door. She places her other hand on her hip and raises a brow: “What do you want, Henderson. I’m busy.”

“But Robin isn’t here this evening,” Dustin frowns.

“I have friends outside of Robin,” Stevie protests, faintly hearing Madame Tucker laugh at him.

“Since when?”

“Since always,” Stevie says. “Now spit. Why are you bothering me?”

“I need your help,” Dustin replies. “Please, you’re the only one that can.”

A bit of worry creeps up Stevie’s spine at that and she drops the hand on the hip and softens his tone to ask: “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Suzie’s birthday is coming up and I need to mail her something and I have no idea what,” Dustin tells him, soothing her worries and making him roll his eyes at the teen’s dramatics. “You saw with Mike and El that it can all fall apart in moments. I can’t let that happen to me.”

“And this couldn’t have waited until tomorrow, because…?” Stevie sighs.

“Because it’s urgent, Stevie,” Dustin says, emphasizing the name, obviously trying to play into their friendship to guilt Stevie, which is a bit funny, but Stevie isn’t complaining.

“No shops are open right now,” Stevie tells him. “I can help you tomorrow. Before my shift we can go into town and look for something. Right now, I’m talking to my friend and you need to go home, okay? It’s late.”

“But you have to drive me to the city,” Dustin argues. “They don’t have enough here. We can go now and have tomorrow morning. If we rush we might be back before your shift.”

“I’m not driving you to the city,” Stevie rubs her brow tiredly. “You can find enough in Hawkins, trust me. If you need to go to the city, bother Eddie.”

“Eddie’s gay, he doesn’t know what to gift a girl,” Dustin says.

“Then ask Jonathan, he’s free and here,” Stevie says.

“Jonathan and Nancy got together purely by accident, he won’t be any help,” Dustin rolls his eyes, as if Stevie is the stupid one for not realizing that. “And he and Nancy are leaving for Cali tomorrow to go visit Argyle. It has to be you.”

From the receiver, Stevie can vaguely hear Madame Tucker laugh and he knows he’s going to get so much shit from her about this when Dustin finally leaves.

“Well, if you want my help so badly, we’re looking for something tomorrow morning in Hawkins, Henderson,” Stevie puts her foot down. “Now, it’s late, I’m talking to a friend. Go ask Eddie for a ride back home.”

“Whatever, mom,” Dustin scowls, hearing that there won’t be arguing. “Who even is this mystery friend?”

“No one you’ll know,” Stevie answers, not in the mood to make up something other than ‘a drag queen I met in the city, who helped me discover my gender,’ she’s already panicking over DnD night, she doesn’t need that conversation.

“Are you cheating on Robin?” Dustin asks with a disapproving frown.

“I am not cheating,” Stevie snaps. “I swear to god, Henderson. Now stop with the invasive questions and go bother Eddie. He’s in his room, keep your eyes closed unless you want to be spoiled and shake him. He at least knows what privacy means.”

He ushers Dustin down the hall with another look, before holding the receiver to his face again and saying: “Sorry about that. Please continue.”

Madame Tucker just laughs for a full ten seconds without saying anything, before gasping: “I’m so sorry, doll, but that kid. That’s Dustin, right? The nosy one?”

Dustin just comes walking by, so Stevie sends him another look and answers: “Yes, that was indeed Dustin, the nosy one.”

Naturally Dustin guffaws in offense at that, while Eddie laughs, spinning his van keys around his finger as they leave.

After that Madame Tucker can continue her story about Brian. It’s so comforting and nice to know that his friend is happy and that there are queer people living their best life out in the city, much like she, Eddie and Robin are building their life here.

When Eddie has returned and is blocking Stevie out again, he confides: “I’m going to be playing Lady Stevie in our upcoming campaign this Friday.”

“Congratulations,” Madame Tucker says. “That’s a big step.”

“I know, kind of freaking out right now,” Stevie finally acknowledges the anxiety that has been eating him ever since he decided. That slimy feeling inside his throat, the way her heart beats too fast if she thinks about if for too long, and how he feels like he’s about to crawl out of her own skin with what ifs.

“Oh honey, I’m sure Eddie will let you back out if it’s stressing you out that much,” Madame Tucker tells her softly and soothingly.

“Yeah, I know,” Stevie says. “But I don’t want to. I want to play Lady Stevie. I’m looking forward to it. I just also want to skip over to the part where it’s good without having to face the possibility that it can take a moment for it to be good. Or the possibility that it might never be good.”

“That is terrifying,” Madame Tucker agrees. “But I’m so proud of you, honey. You’re taking the steps. You’re doing it. Don’t forget how strong that makes you.”

“I won’t. Thank you,” Stevie says. “I just wish I would stop stressing about it.”

“Then try and get out of your mind for a little bit,” Madame Tucker says.

Stevie makes a thoughtful noise, unable to help how her mind drifts towards doing a scene. It is the best way to get out of his head, he discovered. Maybe it would help. However, she’s doing a scene this Sunday. She can wait a little. So, “I’ll try,” is all he answers.

“Good,” Madame Tucker smiles, before they both say their goodbyes and hang up.

After they’ve done that, Stevie hangs around the kitchen for a bit, making two cups of tea and mulling over what was said.

A scene.

Fuck, that sounds nice right now, honestly. However, it’s almost time for bed and missing sleep won’t help with the anxiety, so tonight is out. Tomorrow Robin is coming and while they have been playing with the idea of telling her soon, canceling on her and then telling her doesn’t sound like the best way to do it. And the day after is DnD night already.

The thought sends another spark of anxiety through her, but she pushes it away. He’s going to have fun and it’s going to be fine. He can de-stress Sunday. Just a few more days.

It’ll be fine.

She finishes up the tea and takes the two mugs to Eddie’s room, which is honestly a very strangely decorated guest room.

Eddie noticed him and takes of his headphones as he smiles: “Good talk?”

“Yeah,” Stevie smiles back. She likes talking with her friends. “Brian took her to the park during the night and they had a picnic in the dark. Isn’t that absolutely adorable?”

“Ahw, that’s nice,” Eddie says and accepts his tea. “Ah, thanks, sweetheart.”

“How’s the campaign coming?” Stevie asks.

“It’s going to be so cool,” Eddie gushes, excitement sparkling in his eyes. “This is one of the best campaigns I’ve written so far. I’m very excited for it. For a moment, I thought it wouldn’t be the best, since I have so little time, but I do well under pressure, it appears.”

“That’s nice,” Stevie says, giving Eddie a fond look. “I’m looking forwards to it.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, probably noting the anxious undertone there.

“Yeah,” Stevie assures him. “Just a bit nervous, but that’s to be expected. It’s manageable, don’t worry. If it truly gets too much, I’m changing it to Lord Stevie and no one has to know.”

“Okay,” Eddie says, though not sounding a 100% sure. “Just tell me if there’s something I can do other than backing you against the brats.”

“I will,” Stevie promises.

They drink their tea and get ready for bed as they roll their eyes at Dustin, who apparently interrogated Eddie about the friend Stevie was talking to.

“Nosy little shit,” Stevie mutters as he settles into the bed.

“You’re telling me,” Eddie laughs as he snuggles up behind Stevie.

“Goodnight, Eds.”

“Night, sweetheart.”

Despite his complaints about the kid, Stevie shows up at the Henderson house bright and early the next morning to help the kid find a present to mail to Suzie.

It’s more difficult than Stevie imagined, since Dustin is very picky and judgmental, wanting it to be perfect, and it has to be suitable, so that it won’t get thrown out by Suzie’s deeply religious parents, who already dislike Dustin for not being Mormon.

The only positive is that Dustin knows a lot about her and has forced Will to give him a highly detailed description of her room.

“What about this?” Stevie asks, holding up a cute teddy bear that’s holding a heart.

“No,” Dustin says. “She’s highly intelligent and fifteen years old, okay. She doesn’t need a teddy bear. That’s stupid, geez.”

“Well, fuck me, I guess,” Stevie mutters under his breath and puts the teddy bear down again, before continuing to explore the store.

After a few moments, she asks: “Isn’t there a way to get flowers delivered on that day? You can’t go wrong with flowers.”

“That’s too basic,” Dustin answers. “I want it to be personal.”

“Then what are we doing here?” Stevie says. “We should be at some nerd store or like the hardware store. Didn’t they say they found her installing something on the roof? Do you know if there’s some tools she’s still missing or some shit?”

“And this, is why I invited you,” Dustin exclaims, already booking it out the store.

“You forced me to come,” Stevie yells after him, as she follows, exasperated by Dustin’s dramatics about the whole thing.

As they make their way over to the hardware store, Stevie spots El alongside Max and Erica. He’s glad the three seem to be getting along and pauses to greet them: “Hey there. Where are you three off to?”

“We’re having a post-break up girl day for El,” Max replies.

“That’s sweet,” Stevie smiles. “How are you feeling, El?”

“A bit odd,” El shrugs. “Me and Mike have been together for a long time, so it is weird. But it is also good. We are going to try on fun clothes and shoes at the store until we are kicked out.”

Stevie laughs: “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

“It is,” El smiles back brightly.

“Yeah, and we’re getting ice cream after,” Erica interjects, holding up her hand. “And we had a deal, sailor.”

“God, don’t remind me of that,” Stevie groans, digging around in his pocket for his wallet. “You know, we made that deal when ice cream was still free for us.”

“A deal is a deal,” Erica replies without remorse. “You should have put in a clause, but you didn’t.”

“Steveeee,” Dustin calls. “Hurry up. I want to post it today.”

“We still have time,” Stevie yells back. Then hands Erica the money and softly asks: “Have you been doing okay?”

“I have, don’t worry. I already have one annoying, hovering big brother,” Erica rolls her eyes, but she is obviously pleased by Stevie asking.

Stevie decides to focus on the feeling of being considered family by Erica rather than the brother part and gives her a half hug. “Alright, just asking,” she says. “You girls have fun.”

“We will,” Max grins mischievously. She has discovered that people tend to be awkward around her crutches and that she can get away with more. Stevie is sure she’s going to utilize that for their plans today.

He follows Dustin to the hardware store, where they spend nearly an hour looking for something that Suzie doesn’t already own and would still like. And after that, they spend almost as much time picking the perfect card.

In the end, they take so long that Dustin follows Stevie to work to write the card there so he can ask if the text is okay.

Robin thinks that’s hilarious and sets to re-shelving tapes, then rewinding them to ensure Stevie is trapped at the counter with Dustin.

When Dustin has finished his first draft, he holds up the notepad and asks: “What do you think of this?”

Because Dustin is holding it, the notepad sways slightly, which makes it hard to read. Not to mention that Dustin’s handwriting isn’t the clearest either. So, Stevie squints behind her glasses and tries for a second. However, the letters don’t cooperate and she gives up. “You really want me to read all this?”

“Don’t be a dick, Stevie,” Dustin whines. “This is serious.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, drama queen,” Stevie says. “You just expect me to read your fucking dissertation or something, while I can’t read for shit. Here, give me that.”

He snatches the notepad out of Dustin’s confused hands and tries again. However, her concentration is broken by Dustin asking: “You struggle with reading?”

Stevie gives him a ‘duh’-look, even if she never mentioned it, not wanting it to be a thing. But, the fact that he’s still working retail should have been a give away. Besides, she’s never denied it that much. “Yeah, I do. Those nerd books of yours, far too wordy for me. I’m not working retail because it’s my passion, Henderson.”

Dustin pulls a thinking face that Stevie has learned to distrust, but Dustin surprises him. “You should put a ruler under the lines. It helps Max with her vision being all out of whack and stuff. It can’t hurt to try.”

“Alright.” Stevie doesn’t have much to loose, so he rummages around for a straight piece of paper he can hold under the line. She doesn’t think it will work, but it helps and the reading is a little easier, even if it’s slow.

As she reads, Dustin waits patiently until he’s done, so that she can give genuine feedback on the card that is honestly very romantic and sweet.

“I think it’s really nice, Dustin,” Stevie smiles. “But for spelling you’ll have to ask Robin.”

“Did I hear my name?” Robin comes from the back with re-wound tapes.

“Yes, check the spelling,” Stevie tells her, taking the tapes and trapping her at the counter like she had done to her earlier.

When he gets back, Dustin is carefully copying the fine-tuned text onto the card, before he deems it done. Then he follows Stevie around, theorizing about the new campaign and asking questions about Stevie’s character.

It makes Stevie nervous again.

He’s been ignoring any thoughts about it, which has been working so far. However, this puts her right back on the edge. He doesn’t want to get into his character right now, not in the middle of fucking Family Video.

Dustin notices, of course he does, so he asks more and more, until Stevie practically snaps that she doesn’t want to talk about it right now. Something he immediately feels bad about when Dustin gives her a hurt face.

“It’s just- Well, Eddie mentioned something about working my backstory into the plot,” she bends the truth. “I don’t know what he wants you to know. I didn’t want you to go digging to figure out clues and shit. Sorry.”

“Oh, okay, it’s fine,” Dustin says, a bit quieter than before.

But he doesn’t leave. Robin lets Stevie clock out a little earlier so he and Dustin can drive to the post office, where Stevie pays for shipping to make up for it.

It’s quiet in the car, then Dustin asks: “You still want to play, right? You have a character? It’s okay if you don’t like it, but just say so.”

“No, no, no, it’s not like that,” Stevie says. “I swear, your nerd game is more fun than I thought. I want to continue playing with you all. I’m just a bit stressed. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. You don’t deserve that.”

“Okay, just checking,” Dustin says, his voice brighter and lighter than earlier. “And if it’s a nerd game, then you’re a nerd now too.”

“The horror,” Stevie exclaims dramatically, laughing when Dustin does, glad they made up.

They pick up Robin, who boots Dustin down to the back using girlfriend privileges, which Stevie knows Dustin is bitter about and she is not looking forwards to all the shit she’s going to get when the kid figures out they were never dating. He hopes Dustin will understand. And with how he’s been there for Will, Stevie trusts that he has some ground to stand on there.

Stevie drives Dustin home and the kid talks the whole ride about the campaign tomorrow. Usually, Stevie would love that as background noise, but today it only makes her more anxious and she’s glad when they arrive at the Henderson house.

God, he needs it to be weekend.

There is anxiety thrumming through her veins and she’s quieter than normal. He’s sure Robin picks up on it, but she doesn’t ask, which he is grateful for.

Stevie just needs to relax, try to get out of her own head. Cooking will help. Spending time with Eddie and Robin will help. Tonight will help.

He’s fine.

He’s totally fine.

Just a breath in and a breath out.

~~

A/N:

El is coded as a trans girl and you cannot change my mind, I’m sorry, but I am just factually correct, fight me about it.

I have mixed feelings about Mike x Eleven and Mike x Will. Honestly, I have mixed feelings about Mike and he’s making it really difficult for me this chapter lmao (I curse him while I’m the one who made this story line but shush xp)

Dustin can be a little blunt, but he is a supportive and kind friend and I will stand by that

Also, I wanted a chapter about the kids, just to show that this is a standard. I never really write much of the everyday help with the kids, because it’s not central, however, it does continually happen in the background. I love good babysitter Stevie <33

[slashify]

Eddie does dramatic impressions of everyone in their little family.

Steve is an especially dramatic hip cocked with a hand on the hip, bridge of the nose pinched. ‘What the hell Henderson?’ Muttered under his breath.

Dustin is the nearest hat grabbed and shoved down over his curls, a weirdly high-pitched voice. *SIGH* ‘Why is everyone I know dumber than me?! Why don’t they know about this thing Mr. Clarke told me about after class because I asked him specifically and nobody else was there?!’ This is usually after Dustin rolled his eyes at a genuine question from Steve

Lucas is his face propped on his hands, cow eyes batting at Max, only when nobody but Lucas is looking. Sometimes he’ll crumple up a piece of paper into a ball and toss it in the general direction of a wastebasket with an air of confidence. He misses every time, but he still does a little victory dance.

Mike is just an exaggerated stink-face, or a big eye-roll with an epic hair toss.

Eddie does the same secret cow eyes at Lucas when only Max is looking. Sometimes when it’s just him and her (sometimes Steve) he’ll bring in his shoulders and toss his head to the side and say in a deeper voice than his own: ‘I’m FINE. I don’t need you to babysit me, Eddie! You’ve never called me after a nightmare, Eddie!’ And then they’ll raise their eyebrows at each other until she scoffs hard and ends up at his place or Steve’s.

Eddie loves Will, okay? But he’s just as much a shit as the others. He’s a sassy little dude, and Eddie usually avoids mocking him, but sometimes he gives a little scoff and crosses his arms, and Lucas tries to suppress a laugh, so Eddie figures he’s doing okay.

He doesn’t do an impression of Erica. He feels vaguely ashamed of being scared of a middle-schooler until he remembers the way Gareth had reacted to a withering glare from her. But when Steve tells him she feels left out he starts workshopping different ones in front of her, waiting with raised eyebrows for a ‘no’ or ‘acceptable’.

El asks him to pick words for her, too. Eddie asks her: ‘What are your favorite things?’ She answers so earnestly. ‘My family. Hopper, Dad. Mama. Joyce. Will. Jonathan… Kali. My friends. Mike. Max. Dustin. Lucas. Nancy. Steve. Robin. Argyle. You’ Eddie chokes up at being listed as one of her friends. He clears his throat. ‘Those are people, El. What THINGS do you like? I like metal music, and sourdough bread, and playing guitar, and Steve’s tuna sandwiches-‘ ‘I like Steve’s tuna sandwiches. And I think I like guitar. Mike has been showing me some, but it doesn’t sound like music yet.’ ‘What sounds like music?’ ‘… Sometimes, sometimes I sing.’ And Eddie vows to never make fun of her for that.

His impression of Jonathan is less an impression and more emulation when emotions run high. Eddie was always one to push and prod when he was backed into a corner. When he couldn’t run. He’d get beaten up and spit blood in his tormentors’ faces. Jonathan’s first instinct was to mediate. Eddie tries to learn some of that from him. He knows it’s from Jonathan dealing with his shitty dad, but it’s a valuable skill. Eddie’s not perfect, but he thinks he’s getting better.

Nancy is a determined look with pursed lips. Jonathan has told him about the assholes at the paper, so he never calls her Nancy Drew. He says things like ‘Wheeler is on the case!’ And then he’ll purse his lips and ask her if she thinks the mayor is shtooping his secretary. He totally is, and she has proof.

Robin is easy. Eddie just rambles at a fast pace with emphatic hand gestures. He usually just subs in random conspiracy theories and ends with ‘right Steve?!’ ‘Kennedy and Elvis and Glenn Miller (raised, spread fingers) are partying in Florida (hand chop) right Steve?!’

He doesn’t have an official impression of Argyle, but if he gives a particular dopey grin to Steve he starts giggling, and Eddie loves that.

His impression of Hopper involves Eddie pulling a strand of his own hair over his top lip and frowning, eye twitching. Joyce finds it hilarious, so he keeps doing it.

His Joyce is usually just offering everyone lemonade for some reason.

He’s had an impression of Wayne since he came to live with him. The gruff huff hasn’t changed much, but it comes with a soft look for Steve sometimes, the same soft look he’s always given Eddie.