#just doin some thinking.
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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reality
#blinks so cutely at u. im baaaack#i only have it in me to do one piece for 7.7 i think. i just dont think the rest grabs my brain id rather draw other stuff :D#ive started a new job (NOT animation) by now so im re-adjusting to job hours vs fun hours but the job is easy breezy so im happy!!!#i work in an office i answer the phone like twice a day and i file some paperwork and i eat candy at my desk. its the best#AND im lined up to take over as supervisor in a few months. smiles lovingly at the camera. the dream <3#speaking of dreams haha idia my guy umm so how u doing buddy. u doin okay? will u recover from this buddy pal chum guy? :D#he'll be fine im proud of him#twst#twisted wonderland#idia shroud#book 7 spoilers#ch 7 spoilers#suntails
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newly employed type of girl who is coincidentally freshly 30 as well which is unrelated but also not necessarily a helpful addition
#the employment is fully fresh (i started today) but the age is only somewhat recent#FINALYL found me some new animation gig#a fairly short one probly and not the most fun (just doin some cleanup ) but still and hopefully finding more after that ! ! !#coincidentally feelin a bit more energized lately i think ;; be these my new meds ? perhaps#lets hope they actually work well enough to give me the energy to do more stuff AFTEr work days now hey huh. see u around
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I know The Founders Cut, generally, is the edited scrubbed over version of genloss from Showfall in-universe (as well as a not-8-hour-long-three-stream-binge-night whenever we want to watch it again) but something that struck me as odd and I haven’t seen anyone mention yet, is this warning
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It shows up right at the junction where the third act starts, where it appears the Hero is breaking free of Showfall thanks to Hetch. But here’s the thing, while a LOT less than the previous acts the audience still played a significant role in this act, even when really only given two audience interaction choices. Which makes me wonder, how real is this warning, and who is it for? Obviously the audience involved knows what happens past this point, but the audience is also implied to be an integral part of the Social Experiments, which is part of why things start to tweak out when the Founder removes them in the Founder Cut as the Generation Loss generation loses.
My first thought, was that obviously this is another bait and switch, a way to draw the audiences attention, seeing something that’s secret, something that’s not “meant for them”, which is a tactic I could see Showfall using in universe to keep people’s attention and add an air of mystery to their shows.
But
Showfall is doing all their experiments and these shows with a LOT of help from their censors to show it off, displaying a fun silly show that is definitely not uber fucked up and that is 100% just slime don’t worry about it, it’s kid friendly if it’s green! And I don’t think they’d want to bet all their cards on this one experiment doing well enough to their audience to not question the sudden shift in tone that follows this warning. Which makes me wonder.
They did their test, they did their experiment, and the evidence of this last act? I think it was a one time run, they don’t want anyone seeing this, it isn’t for the audience. Act three is specifically to both test and play with their Hero, Hetch’s new lines add a level to this, never once does he call the Hero by their name, just refers to Ranboo as their Role, and he’s not exactly. Nice? About literally any of Ranboos concerns, which wouldn’t really seem conductive to making an audience trust him, especially with his monologue at the end. Ranboo has escaped before, possibly right before act 1 started, they tightened the security on his mask to be unremovably part of them, Hetch doesn’t like the Hero but they’re a fan favorite so he can’t just get rid of them.
Act three is the cumulation of Ranboo being punished for things they don’t remember, for daring to break free from Showfalls control, this is Hetch taking the Hero and essentially majorly fucking and manipulating them to take his frustration out on a fan favorite they can’t otherwise get rid of or give a smaller role like Slimecicle. which is exemplified by the fact that we now know Charlie most likely was never able to actually able to fully snap out of the control, that even in act three in panic and confusion there was at least still a part of him being influenced by Showfall.
So the first two acts are the usual show, they have their posters, they have Squiggles to introduce them, they have goofs and silliness and only a couple slip ups that’re quickly dealt with, the usual rose tinted curtains. Act three?
Do not watch the following material
#or Showfalls just bein silly goofy and pretending they’re letting us in on a secret that isn’t one and playing off the reveal of#what they’re up to as just another plot of a show and hey that isn’t real don’t worry it#but I also think Hetch is really truly throwing Ranboo around like a ragdoll for more than just audience entertainment during act three#I think it could tie in to Chronicle Zero though. if Zeros dreams are connected to what happened to Ranboo then she knows something#Showfall would have a vested interest in her. not in fact. knowing that#and maybe trying to make her not know about any it anymore in a very Showfall kinda way#I’m less versed in what’s going on with Chronicle Zero tbh but I’m tryin. I fuckin love Gen loss#robot rambles#generation loss#genloss#Ranboo#I’m doin the thing where I ramble but it’s my blog I do what I want here#and I’m having hard life stuff happen irl rn so I’m clinging to genloss because it brings me joy and the timing of the FC was super helpful#also if anyone was curious I think Hetch is a bitch but I do acknowledge the possibility of him also being controlled#and I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him#but that’s stuff for not-in-this-post lmao#I had a theory tag at some point but imma be so fr I Do Not Remember what it was
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MEET MY SO-NOT-COUPLE VALENTINE CHALLENGE!
thanks @salemssimblr @simbleleven & @elderwisp for the tag YIPPEE!!!
ngl i was hesitant to do this cuz I DONT HAVE COUPLES ALL MY STUFF IS PLATONIC BECAUSE OF MY AROMATIC ASS- but yeh yippee did it for fun!!!
#floyd cyprus#draco almond#theo wood#fiona frost#tag game#ts4#sims 4#sims community#love spoiling some future events in these games hehe#the fact theo & fiona havent met yet is the end of me. FLO STOP DOIN HC AND JUST POST#NEVERRRRRR. MWAHAHAH#also floyd just saw how mysterious draco was and went like: i can crack him.#what funny is draco also finds him mysterious. he thinks its all a show this open personality of floyd#both be discovering each other w/o knowin oop#the confessed first ITS NOT WHATS YOU THINK ITS LIKE. its more like admitting their admiration first. ig.#my ass is like yall can ship whatever. but im NOT shipping cuz i get awkward BWBAHAHA
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alskfdj why can't I focus on ONE indi game???
anyways repressing robot and cowboy farmer are my favorites.
#art#original art#uty#ut yellow#starlo uty#clover uty#undertale yellow#ut axis#axis 014#starlo#small 5pebs cameo#small mettaton cameo#the lil guy being in repair is nice#but broken is just more fun to draw#im so sorry axis thats just how it be#and sorry starlo for not doin more on ya#lil robot guy!!!#robot with anxiety#but suppressed#i had a couple extra bullet wounds on axis one some doodles before watching a reference#turns out it only took 3 shots to have him end up that way!#poor guy#also think that starlo's hat is enchanted to make that shadow#to be oh so cool n edgy n mysterious#itd be funny if we were allowed to steal the spare
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[zombie au] yeagh
#qkdraws#id in alt#zombie au#blood#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#shigeo kageyama#mp100 mob#mp100 shigeo#ur girlie is yearning for the ability to draw sonic characters so while she wallows in her miseries abt That look at this art dump <3#mobbu ur everything to me#im not totally satisfied w the way i draw him yet tbh. there's smth abt it that's weird#but this is fine enough. i like this one#MOBBU .like if u agree reblog if u agree buy me some fucking cheesecake if u agree#god i want cheesecake . im Cheesecakeless over here#somebody be as ill abt this au as i am .slams my desk somebody cry w me#edit i am very sorry the id doesn't fully show up on tumblr desktop. it's just slightly too long to properly stay open when u scroll#mobile is fine tho i think#art dump ids r harder to keep succinct im sorry if mine r too long. doin my best VGYIEAYIGV
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I have two sides
As my persona
With and without the orange head
Orange head ? Pumpkin head ? I have no idea either
And thats how this little shit born!
#finnaly draw after so long!#wasup hows yall doin#just back from the grave#redbowkid27#I've been drawing in paper doing some doodles and i think my linearting now is better wo!#missed you guys!#i just notice the head is a bit bigger oh well whatever
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last month's commission batch! everybody has wonderful designs for their oc's and character interpretations so those are always a blast ♪~(^∇^*)d
my commissions are still open on ko-fi if you're interested in one!
#kagarts#commissions#trainer arven#pokemon sv#munchlax#i love my new watermark. my fish is your friend steve to all your ships now#thank you to everybody who commissions me too! i love getting everybody's fun lil guys to draw! the range of character design is top tier#these are gonna be open til i get a job so if you'd like to get some art of your favorite guys it supports what i do too!#i was able to get a pc and parts with the money and it's been a big change that i've been adjusting to. so much stuff to Remove#the amount of bloat u gotta remove on new computers is insane btw. but hey that means i can actually try out some new things with it#i'm not the best streamer by any means but i think it'd just be fun to do. talk to me about pokemon or something there it'd be chill#anyways i'm prepping another post in the meantime. i must get back to coding and other comms as well but i hope everybody's doin alright
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if i see one more post about how solas/mythal/elgar'nan had a weird love triangle thing going on i'm gonna scream
#probably gonna annoy some people by saying this#but i think it is really telling that taash's response 'they were doin' it'#is positioned in a way that strongly implies it's the immature response to take#not to say i'm 100% right bc they left it deliberately vague for a reason#you're meant to make up your own mind#and i personally do not see this as a stupid love triangle bc a. i fucking hate love triangle plots they're overdone and boring#and b. it's stated multiple times that the ancient elves felt things in different ways that can't be fully understood by mortals#so deducing that it was a romantic bond is an oversimplification of something that's actually very abstract#falon'din and dirthamen were called both twins and lovers by legends but it turned out to be neither of those things#they were just one spirit split into two#the only two that i think were actually romantically involved were ghil and andruil bc it's stated that they fell in love in the abyss#and there are statues of them naked holding hands apparently#we didn't get enough info about sylaise and june to really say much about their relationship#the actual regret memory of solas and mythal meeting in secret#is the memory that the inquisitor gives to rook#and it appeared after the ritual was interrupted and solas killed varric#when varric told him to stop#when varric expressed his love for his friend and died for it#the parallel is not of lovers but of solas taking mythal's place and varric taking his#ugh i'm just so uncomfortable with the solas/mythal romance stuff#like it actually nauseates me#not out of jealousy but bc his whole story is him dealing with the horrific trauma bond he formed with her#and those are so often borne from family bonds#like mythal is just one big mother wound to solas#i honestly think if they were lovers they would just state it as such#but people have a hard time imagining devotion as being anything other than romantic ig#sad bc platonic relationships can sometimes be more intense than romantic ones
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Hope you're feeling better, Snap. Good luck with your finals! :)
SO IM FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW FOR SURE
#fave#snap chats#BESTIE. //PTERANODON SCREECH//#I JUUUST ANSWERED YOUR EMAIL AND WENT TO OPEN TUMBLR AND THEN I HAD TO LAY DOWN#and then when i got up from laying down i paced my room for a good two minutes i think. im a professional pacer....#i keep coming back to type these tags but then getting up to go to the corner of my room and then coming back and repeating the process#CHARLES COMBAT OUTFIT MY BELOVED i blacked out. hi#let it be known i do acknowledge erik as well ... i just have to do so like an embarrassed school girl. as i do.#and go to the shadow corner. i do have to stand there a bit before coming back to giggle and then go back cjaLVKAJV#how sweet 🥰 must be a good day for erik to be so nice 🙂 so nice of him .......... 🙂eehehehe........#have i exhausted how im gonna look at this for the rest of the day yet no i dont think i have. im gonna look at this for the rest of the da#OPEN ON THE PHONE. while i rework this final ...... like a sailor lost at sea with nothing but a locket of his wife to keep him company..#except instead of the sea its articles about the fashion industry ..... wtf they got me doin in business 😭😭#sorry scrolled up and i felt my soul go dokidoki. i will be doing this many times throughout the day#THANK YOU SO MUCH BESTIE FOR ALL YOU DO this truly picked up my mood today 🥺#cherik save me ..... whats most funny is that roses Do Be In Fact my favorite flower 🤧🤧#SOME SAY BASIC i say so am i..... an iconic flower for a reason idc. ... . .. also bluebells but thats cause of viva pinata...#ANYWAY. i have staring to do. THANK YOU AGAIN BESTIEEEE //combusts//
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#i think the go to jamie mannerism to look at is the hands bunched up in his tshirt. which is THEE mannerism ever#buuuut hes always just doin some shit#thts my guy🙄🧠🤝🤝🤝🧠😄😁😁😁😁☝️#thought the lil clicky claps in season 1 was just him bein above it ALLLL not even bothering to clap. which maybe it is but#just saw him doin it here in season 2 as well when i was skimming clips nd went :O .... :] nice#jamie tartt#ted lasso#rot riffing
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okay yeah this bitch plural
#this bitch being me#or us i guess; thats gonna take some gettin used to though i dunno which kinda self-referring would be better#i still have not worked out the specifics but. with a lil help from funnier-as-a-system in dms i have made contact with a headmate#so theres at least one more critter in me noggin for sure i think#i also think shes hella tired out cuz we did quite a bit (trying to design a sona for her in heroforge among other things)#and at some point just completely crashed and only got lil remarks from her since so#yeag. not exactly up for makin a bit announcement abt it or anything aside from this but. there ya go ig#still a lot of uncertainty on who/what she is or is like but from what ive gleaned#for now her names citra; pronouns it/she; and is. very clumsy x3 but it hasnt fronted much i dont think so that makes sense#anyway thats what ive been doin tonight other than browsing tumblr
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sorry for the radio silence. heres a bunch of these guys from the past while as compensation
#hfjone#liam plecak#amelia euler#charlotte stern#bryce hansen#hfjone backpack#scentpack#thats all im tagging LOL theres too many ppl#eye strain#ask to tag#my art#some of these r older than others#but umm yea :)#been inactive cus i have been busy and not doin 100% great but i still love drawing all of them and thinking abt all of them#also i reccomend clicking some of these cus tumblrs gonna make them soooo teeny tiny#sorry for the weird ordering on this theres too many for me to figure out like... a Natural progression for them#so instead just. Art Blast
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this was unnecessary. they're just listening to my tav talk they coulda been doing anything. gay people real
#i was itching to post so#rude cut me off#mething so here's a tiny thingie#bg3#bg3 fanart#my art#gale dekarios#astarion#bloodweave#jackie talks#yes i scrolled down to the line art on the side or whatever. is it that obvious?#i always think ppl are so fancy when the art program is visible#i just recently as of 2025 switched to digital instead of my ol girl pencil and paper#and idkkkkik it's kinda annoying meeee today cuz w pencil i get like 2 or 3 tries for a face or a pose before it becomes a graphite mess#so like it doesn't look as nice or uniform or polished but..... no tea no shade it looks better that way sometimes#with that said i rly should post some old comics as they are#they're not gonna get much notes either way djlfjlfjkrjk so why am i doin all this#oh. cuz i enjoy it 😒 that's right
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Silly Billy, but corrupted because that au has me in its claws rn
#skyy's art#fnf#silly billy#friday night funkin'#fnf silly billy#yourself#fnf yourself#hit single real#friday night funkin#hit single real mod#fnf corruption au#fnf corruption#he's all i can think ab rn#he's already suffering. let's make him suffer some MORE#anyone wanna ask me about him. anyone?#i'm still doin comms btw this was just a treat for myself <3
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