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#just doesn't seem super appropriate
annoyingfobbie · 1 year
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preparing my 'fun fact about myself' for when school starts up in late august. so far all i've got is "I went to the same high school as kobe bryant". i need more facts. my school is 50 people per grade, i'm gonna have classes with all the same people, i can't be saying the same fun fact over and over again
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thedreadvampy · 10 months
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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
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theheadlessgroom · 2 months
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@beatingheart-bride
"It's an old Pratt family recipe," Josephine explained, saying, "My family used to make it for farmer's markets when I was younger, we used to sell it by the bagful; it was always very popular, so we oftentimes sold out very quickly. It's been a long time since I made it, so it felt good to get back in the kitchen and make a batch-especially with two great little helpers."
"We helped!" Lon declared proudly through a mouthful of popcorn, and even Erika smiled a little and nodded-it had actually been really fun, helping Grandma Josephine out. It was a lot like being in the kitchen with Grandma June, and that helped Erika feel a little more at ease about pitching in.
And watching her favorite movie also helped her feel a little more comfortable being around these new family members, admittedly, able to forget about her anxieties in favor of colorful animation and wonderful music, with the hot, sweet kettle corn being an additional bonus. Laying on her stomach watching the movie, Erika felt more content than she had the day before, and smiled as she relaxed. Maybe this visit wouldn't be so bad after all!
Meanwhile, Lon, sitting up beside his sister, was still trying to figure out what this "burlesque" was that his family kept talking about-it involved dancing, performing, but the specifics he couldn't quite figure out. When Esmeralda began her dance at the Feast of Fools, Lon turned back to ask his great-grandmother curiously, "Is that burlesque?"
"Ah, not quite," Josephine chuckled amusedly, though she could see some similarities there, between herself and La Esmeralda: Performing flirtatious, provocative dances for an appreciative audience (with some disapproving figures in the crowd as well), being looked down on because of it, but still remaining kind despite all that? Yes, that all sounded rather familiar to her...
#((bobbie-lynn is super warm and sweet! she seems very chill; very welcoming! i knew she was doomed))#((but i was still saddened to see her get eaten by theda the gator! she was just really sweet; i liked her!))#((all she did was try to help who she thought was an old woman in need! 'no good deed goes unpunished' indeed!))#((and rj's comment about lorraine...i remember chelsea saying on the 'dead meat' podcast that her choice to join in the film))#((really forced him not only to see that women have their own desires outside of what men want))#((and that lorraine's desires might not align with his own; as well as the fact that he *is* at the end of the day))#((making an adult film for a paycheck; and not the elevated 'true cinema' vision he talks a big game about!))#((he's making that distinction between *his* girlfriend and the actresses; and when she wants to take part in it))#((it forces him to open his eyes; and it all just kinda hits him at once; and sorta overwhelms him))#((because he didn't see *his* girlfriend doing adult films like he does the other girls; it's this unspoken double standard))#((that he's forced to confront! that you can be a 'nice girl' and still have your own desires; to control your life))#((and do what you want! which to bring it back around; feels appropriate to josephine!))#((she's very nice! she's a good-natured woman who rushed to check on august when he fell out of his chair))#((and is very family-oriented; and her having done burlesque doesn't detract from that))#((anymore than it does from the girls in 'x'!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Two Worlds; One Family
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yamujiburo · 18 days
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Hello, I’ve always been impressed by your design decisions so I wanted to ask: are there any Pokemon or trainers that have really spoken to you design-wise? Not necessarily your favorite, but left a strong impression on you.
Hope the rest of your day goes well! ^^
Aw thanks so much! I love character design, it was my first passion before storyboarding actually
Here's my faves:
RYME!!!! They nailed that older gen rapper look. Backwards cap, sequins, lots of gold and a puffy jacket! Also I'm not quite sure this is the intention with her shoes but they kinda look like grillz which is sick. I'm a sucker for a limited palette so the black, gold with turquoise accents in her nails, mic, earrings and eyes spoke to me. Also OF COURSE her hair (you're gonna se this pattern for the next two LOL). Making her locks look like a skeleton??? Genius. I love the hand bone for the front and the hip bone for the back. Literally one of the coolest trainer designs pokemon's ever given us.
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GRANT! Just an immediately readable design. Oh, he looks like a rock climber, must be a rock type gym leader. Simple fit, I love a sleek black top. The carabiner, climber straps and chalk holder add a little more complexity to the design but not too much. It's a smart choice with how wild his hair is. I feel like if you do too much in the fit AND the hair, you risk your design feeling overdesigned and busy. I love that his hair is meant to look like a rock/cliffs with the holds! The holds add a nice dash of color without being too much.
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AMARYS <3 It's the fact that she's in uniform but still has a design that immediately caught my eye. But to her being in uniform, I find it really cool that the other Elite 4 members really alter theirs or have accessories that make the uniforms feel like their own or really different but Amarys doesn't really. It goes to show how rigid she is and gives you the impression that she's a very "follow the rules" kind of person. Her main accessory seems to be her boots which just LOOK heavy, and sleek and look like they have bolts in them. It really makes her design feel bottom heavy and grounded which I feel is appropriate for a steel type trainer. Now, hair. Look at her hair. SO GOOD. I loveeee that pokemon is utilizing black hairstyles like this. Her hair being screws that kinda resemble banto knots is so CUTE. The could have left her hair at that but the braid across her forehead adds a nice asymmetrical aspect to her design. It's so cool that it mirrors her pocketwatch chain, creating a focal point on the school crest. And lastly her glasses! Super cute, I think it's cool that it gives the illusion of bottom lashes which makes her eyes feel a little more droopy or sad than they really are. It just really brings her facial features all together and helps sell her personality.
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adelheidvonschicksal · 6 months
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⋆。°✩ Do Roommates Sleep Together?
“We’d be roommates, much better than neighbors,” you manage to explain, proud when you hold firm, but the delicate foundation you built cracks when his laugh highlights the room. You could nearly melt. “Do roommates sleep together too?”
Synopsis: Your relationship with Xavier is unconventional, skipping and trampling on the many proper steps society deems appropriate. It should take months to form the trust needed to sleep together, and it should take years for you to ask him to move in with you.
Yet, here you are, with more courage to ask him to live with you than to tell him you’re in love with him.
Content Warning: fluff, suggestive dialogue, pining, literal sleeping together, a lot of internal exposition, mild angst, hurt/comfort, acquaintances to friends to lovers, implied soulmate tomfoolery to justify the fast burn, small references to chapter 4 main story, Heartstring Symphony, Nighttime Stroll, Shooting Stars Myth, and Unit 602's Representative Phone Call, Xavier sucks at following the non-interference policy (he tried his best), female reader, 6.5k words, safe for work
A/N: First section before Warm Wishes/Dreams within Reach tender moments and second section after Close Feelings tender moment to give a better timeframe. This is going to be two parts with the second part NSFW.
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“Do you want to hang out at my place?” 
Your smile begins to flatten as Xavier stares at you from his doorway. There’s a listless energy radiating from him. It’s intimidating even if there’s no anger behind his hooded gaze, the kind of intimidation where you’re afraid he might not be listening to you or even wants to listen to you.
“This new scary movie came out. Tara was supposed to watch with me, but she had a last-minute thing to take care of,” you explain, watching as he yawns and wipes his eyes. “So, I thought that maybe you’d like to watch with me instead. Or, we can do something else. I got games. Monopoly, Phase 10, Kitty Cards.” 
Xavier rubs at the back of his neck, refusing to meet your eye. “Are you sure you want it to be just the two of us?” 
There are many things to be said about your relationship with Xavier. You’re work partners, neighbors in the same apartment complex, and you consider him your friend. It’s also true that your friendship is young despite the many hours at the arcade together and whatever stories your co-workers like to imagine, making your offer sound more like a date invitation than hanging out. It causes you to go tongue-tied as your innocent mistake blankets you.
“Oh, not in that way! I mean not that it would be a bad thing.” You start to lose your composure when you meet his gaze again. It’s not like you wouldn’t go on a date with him if given the opportunity. He’s tall, soft-spoken, and very handsome. It’s more surprising he doesn't have a girlfriend. “I was thinking it could be a good way to foster friendship between hunters. Yeah, that’s it!”
The truth was that you were looking for something to distract yourself ever since the incident at your grandmother’s house. Tara having to cancel bummed you out more than you wanted to admit, but you didn’t want him to agree because he felt sorry for you.
“I understand,” Xavier cuts in. “I’d be happy to join you…in an hour,” he finishes with another small yawn. 
“Great!” you cheer. “See you soon.”
When you make it back to the elevator, you’re taken aback about how happy you are that he agreed. You thought you were simply happy not to have to be alone on your day off, but this was a different kind of satisfaction than when you invited Tara. It was a little strange but you ignored the thought and clicked the button to your floor. 
When Xavier arrives, everything goes as planned. You spread out an array of snacks on the table in front of the sofa, which your selection seems to be approved by how quickly he opens the package of chips and hums to himself when he takes a bite. 
“This is supposed to be super scary! I read you won’t sleep for days after,” you tell him, grabbing the remote to play the movie. 
“For days? Sounds awful,” Xavier mentions between bites, making you chuckle. 
“If you get scared, you always have me to protect you.” 
“I’m more worried about you than me,” he mouths off. “You always look like a statue when I tell you scary stories.”
“Fake movies and stories based on real places are different!”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he agrees on the surface. You’re not sure how you only make friends with people who love to tease you, but you make no mention of it as the movie finally reaches its opening sequence. 
It doesn’t take long for you to realize this movie’s fear factor was greatly over exaggerated. There were monsters, sure, but also one too many jump scares and dark scenes that made it hard to tell what was happening. Fighting wanderers for a living did leave you a bit desensitized as well, you guess. 
As you reach to fill in your boredom with more chips, you can’t help but notice how Xavier looks like he’s about to give out any second. His eyes are drooping and his head bobbing to the side. You lose count of how many times he forces his limp body straight and strains to watch the movie playing on the screen, one agonizingly slow blink at a time.
“I’m fine,” he says before you can bring up how tired he looks.
“It’s not a big deal, Xavier. This movie is pretty boring, so if you wanna call it a night, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings.” You don’t want him to leave yet but you don't want to keep him up either. Sighing, you’re frustrated the movie isn’t as exciting as you thought it would be, and it’s difficult to fight the disappointment from showing on your face. 
And, well, Xavier…
“It’s alright. It’s honestly not bad, so—”
Xavier doesn’t even finish his sentence before his head hangs over. In hindsight, you start to realize that you must have woken him up earlier, explaining his prior passiveness.
You always wondered what he did on the days he wasn’t working. It should’ve been apparent to you that he spends most of his free time sleeping. No wonder his apartment was always so quiet during the day. You’re thankful he wasn’t actually annoyed at you earlier but guilty for interrupting his rest and decide to grab him a blanket.
You don’t notice him tilting to the side before you have the chance to get up. It’s quick after that. Without warning, he falls into you, his head brushing the side of your shoulder before he collapses on top of your lap.
The situation takes you by surprise, and the world churns to a slow stop. The sounds from the television fade into the background in favor of your heartbeat becoming the thing you’re most aware of when it registers that Xavier, a man you recently can call a friend, has fallen asleep in your lap. You have no idea what to do in a situation like this. It isn’t on purpose, so there’s no need to blow up, but you can’t allow this to continue.
So, you choose to wake him up.
“Xavier,” you call and rock his shoulder. You call his name again, a third time, and finally give up when he doesn’t budge by the fourth. “Would it be too mean to roll him off?” you wonder, grimacing as you imagine him hitting the floor. It would definitely be too mean.
Sighing, you gaze at his face nuzzled too comfortably against your thighs. Xavier looks so incredibly soft like this, bundled in an oversized Blanchi hoodie. It isn’t anything you’re not used to seeing him in. However, this is different. With his hair strewn across his temple and his face so at ease, it reminds you of a big fluffy bunny flopped over for an evening nap. Just like a cuddly bunny, you can’t resist petting him, brushing your fingers across his bangs to fix them. Your heart flutters as you confirm his hair is incredibly soft and his pale eyelashes longer than you ever noticed.
Not able to restrain yourself, you gently poke his cheek, marveling when it’s much chubbier than you imagined. It causes him to moan, his eyes twitching from the intrusion.
“Mm…what?” he groans out.
Swiftly, you pull your hand away, frightened he might have caught you.
“I wasn’t doing anything,” you stammer out, not the best of excuses; but in your defense, he caught you off-guard by waking up from something so small. When he doesn’t respond again, you quickly realize he’s still asleep. “Oh, he sleep talks!”
A mischievous wave washes over you from the new piece of information you acquired. Teasingly, you poke his cheek again, giggling when he shifts to hide his eyes from the light.
“Xavier, I have a question to ask you.” You slide your fingertips along his bangs once more. “Be honest. Are you Lumiere?”
Patiently, you wait for a response. However, nothing comes after several seconds. Just when you’re about to give up hope, you hear him muttering. You lean your head closer, hoping to hear him better.
“Red…” he mumbles.
You repeat after him. “Red?”
“Red…extra spicy.”
You blink at him, knitting your brows. “Extra spicy?”
Oh. The hot pot restaurant.
“Dreaming about food? That tracks.” You shrug. It was worth a shot. “Fine, keep your secrets.”
Choosing to leave him be, you’re about to sit back and continue the movie except you are interrupted by him mumbling again. This time, he whispers your name quietly under his breath causing your undivided attention to fall on him.
“Yes?” you ask.
Xavier sighs softly, peacefully.
“Come home…with me…”
There must be a world record for how fast someone can heat up, and you must have broken it. It’s like someone threw you directly into boiling oil and left you to burn in it. There’s no way you heard him correctly.
Did Xavier really ask you to come home…with him? Is he dreaming about you? If so, in what kind of dream? And why?
These are the questions stumping you. Sure, you consider him your friend, but when did he start to see you as someone close to him?
The more important question is why aren’t you doing anything about it? You aren’t angry about him whispering your name in his sleep nor offended, and it didn’t feel out of place to be close to him, like this, with his head resting in your lap and your hand in his hair. The moment becomes nicer and nicer—treasured—the more times you run it through your head, familiar even, like déjà vu.
There are too many variables for your brain to piece it all together in such a short amount of time. Praying for the tempest battering your emotional insides to reside, you resign yourself to your fate, allowing him to have his peace while your mind completely focuses on the words slipping from his dreams.
When Xavier begins to stir hours later, your movie is long finished, credits rolling as some dramatic music plays in the background. His eyes tighten then relax before he finally opens them, greeting you with hazy blue. He lifts himself into a stretch then rubs his eyes with his wrist. When he finally adjusts to his surroundings, he looks at you with an apologetic sulk.
“Did I…fall asleep on you?” he asks, grogginess still riding his voice.
“Literally or figuratively?” you ask as a joke, but it doesn’t seem to comfort him. Shaking your head, you try to ease the tension—the one known by him and the tension inside of yourself—by laughing. “It was both.”
Xavier blinks a few times, turns his head to the screen to see the credits rolling, and snaps his eyes back on you questioningly. “And you let me for two hours?”
“You looked really tired,” you explain, ignoring how hot your cheeks start to get. You couldn’t tell him you got distracted by his cute face. “I didn’t want to move and wake you.”
“I don’t wake that easily,” he states, proudly even. You almost tell him how well everyone knows he can sleep through a typhoon, but it’s drowned underneath the softness of his smile. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
The look he gives you is so tender, like looking at a fond memory. It brings back the fluttering knots in your stomach from before as you imagine what could be the true reason behind that gaze. What could he possibly be thinking in his waking moments that would make him dream about you?
“Xavier, do you know you talk in your sleep?” The confused and panicked, deer caught in headlights expression, he gives causes you to fidget with your fingers and drop your gaze to your lap where they lay.
His face tinges slightly. “Nothing too embarrassing I hope.”
You bite your bottom lip as his face reddens. He looks so sweetly shy for once, and you’re starting to question if you’re overreacting by confronting him about something as silly as a dream, one that probably didn’t mean much.
“You tried to order food in your sleep!” you tell him with a small laugh, and his shyness melts away.
“I did? What did I get?”
“Red sauce. Extra Spicy.”
“Then, I guess that’s what I’ll get for dinner tonight,” he remarks. He doesn’t laugh but you can see the amusement reflected in blue eyes, which makes you return his happiness. Yet, the calm moment is short-lived as your mind becomes overwhelmed again by questions you were too nervous to ask; and a small piece of you, too afraid to know the answer.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, drawing you out of your rampant, clashing thoughts. “You look sick.”
“I do?”
He nods, his expression softening.
”Are you still thinking about everything?" he pauses, his worry becoming more visible as he looks at you. "It must be difficult.” Your head blanks at his words. You weren’t aware Xavier gave you enough attention to notice your mood was different. You thought you did okay coming to terms with everything at least while at work to where he wouldn’t notice. 
“It’s been a pretty rough week, weeks, actually. I haven’t been sleeping well either,” you agree, struggling to keep your mind anywhere else but there. You’re sure you must look exhausted though. Your under eyes have been darker, the days you could convince Jenna you didn’t need any more leave a bit sluggish, and even Zayne warned you not to lose yourself in grief. It’s easier said than done.
What you don’t expect is for Xavier to grab your wrist and pull you closer.
Xavier normally isn’t the one to draw you, or others for that matter, to him. You’re the one who's been taking the steps to get to know more about him. Offering to help him get his plushie, bargaining with him into becoming your partner, asking him to watch movies with you, while he always seems to keep you a little at arms length, not opening up as much as you wish when sharing stories even when sometimes he looks like he desperately wants to before deciding against it.
Your eyes widen when your nose hits the side of his chest. It's strange to have him be the one pulling, failing to keep his boundaries and also testing them. You don’t want to push him away though. You liked this. Maybe because he was handsome. You hear pretty people can get away with anything, but it feels like more than that. Tara might have been right. Maybe you do have a crush on him but you didn’t care the reason right now when it’s so comforting. You can feel his muscles underneath the thick, warm fabric of his hoodie, and the clothing smells so nice. You can’t help thinking he definitely feels like a bunny too.
“Sleeping is much better with someone.” 
“How do you know?” you mumble against him.
“Well, I just had the best sleep I’ve had in days thanks to you. So, allow me to return the favor. I’ll be your pillow this time,” he offers; and surprisingly, your eyes do feel oddly heavy when his soothing voice reaches you. “Relax. I promise not to move for at least two hours, but you can take more if you like.”
”How kind,” you say with a smile, and it feels genuine.
Once again, you get the same familiar sensation from before, that same odd suspicion this has happened once before—or rather it’s supposed to happen? You’re too tired to think about it. You close your eyes to the most blissful dreams you’ve had in weeks.
When you wake up again, it’s not by choice. Xavier is looking down at you, his arm gently wrapped around your shoulders as your head lays on his chest. Your mind is still trapped halfway between being awake and asleep when he begins to talk.
“Welcome back. Did you sleep well?”
You nod. “Real well actually."
Xavier says something else but your tired mind misses the majority of it aside from the fact it’s getting late.
“You can spend the night if you want,” you tell him, allowing sleep to win back over as you try to close your eyes again, but he lifts you away from him, your head swaying with the motion until you find a place to prop your forehead on his shoulder. Your mind echoes with the thought of how soft his hoodie is and how you need one like it as you try to drift back off. Xavier is right. Sleeping with someone else is better, and this closeness you’ve been missing since you lost your family makes you needy. 
“It probably wouldn’t be appropriate.”
For some reason, it hurts to think he's back to pushing you away. Even though, it shouldn't.
“But you didn’t get a chance to watch the movie,” you reply, looking for an excuse for him not to leave. “It’s a 48-hour rental, so we can try again.”
Xavier shakes his head, gently poking at your forehead to force your head back. “I’m sure it’ll be twice as boring for you the second time.”
“If we watch it together…”
He meets your foggy gaze apologetically. “I don’t think we’d get very far.” 
“We won’t know until we try,” you argue drowsily. 
“You don’t look like you’d make it another ten minutes. You belong in bed.”
“I can,” you whimper as the too-bright lights of the overhead fan hit you. 
“Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result,” he murmurs softly, almost teasingly until his tone takes on a seriousness you’re too lethargic to grasp, “Isn’t that insanity?”
“I like to call it determination. Who knows? Maybe this will be the time it works,” you joke. Instead of the smile you expected the look on his face is pensive and a little sad, like you touched a delicate spot. The sudden remorse wakes you up almost immediately. “Xavier?”
When he realizes you’re watching him, the longing in his gaze melts into something you can’t describe, other than the fact it makes your heart climb in your throat. 
“Alright,” he agrees, much to your surprise and relief. “Let’s try again…but tomorrow.”
Frowning, you avert your gaze, which makes him pet your head. 
“Don’t pout. Tonight, I’ll stay until you fall asleep again.”
“Thank you,” you whisper, moving back to rest your head against his chest.
Maybe your grandma wouldn’t have liked you getting so close to a man you didn’t know much about so quickly. Caleb would at least have a few questions, but your intuition tells you that you’re making the right choice when his arm goes back around you. As you start to drift off, you can swear you hear Xavier laughing at you under his breath. “You’re as impossible to say no to as always.”
You’re not entirely sure what time Xavier went back to his apartment that night, but the next morning you wake in your bed, looking forward to seeing him again. You only hope the sweet and confusing fact that you’re in love with him, of the parts he shows you when you’re alone, stays in your dreams the next night and the many nights following that you share with him.
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Over the months, as your relationship with Xavier grows stronger, you find it common to share many things with each other. You play online games, house sit for one another, grow strawberries, and usually go home together after your deepspace trials. Most interestingly, you two take naps together on your days off sometimes, nothing sexual about it despite what Tara and her Tarot cards believe. Sure, there might have been questionable situations, but it was all innocent in the end. It's often a short nap in the afternoon after running errands or having lunch together. It's one of those days that you finally build the courage to bring up what's been on your mind for a while now. 
It's late when it happens.
The skyscraper lights begin to glow through your balcony door, blinking out the gentle shimmering of distant stars that managed to cut through the trickling rain earlier in the evening. It’s a little disappointing to lose sight of the stars. They’d become a comfort for you in the time you’ve spent with your friend. You'd never given them much thought before then.
The downpour of rain splattering against the glass panels of the balcony makes the city lights milkier to your sight and the steady dripping of water returns some form of calmness when paired with your neighbor’s breathing next to you.
It’s deep and warm, ushering you towards the world of dreams. Everything about Xavier is like a white noise or a desperately needed hug, which is why you’re curled up at his side in this bed that’s too small for the both of you. You didn’t care, and you suspected Xavier didn’t either.
He didn’t mention the smallness of the bed when you offered to take a nap together nor when your head found the bulge of his bicep to use as your pillow. You didn’t give him time to respond when one of your hands slid across his lean chest, reaching for his always subtle pulse. You find the lazy pattering easy to count while the heat in the sheets become much more apparent when you feel the weight of his touch cradle that very same hand to his chest as if promising every beat to you.
Everything about the situation causes your eyes to flutter with tiredness, but you want to savor this moment a little longer. In case this is all an elaborate dream. You hope to death it’s not. So, you force your eyes to remain open, releasing a soft sigh instead as you cuddle into his arm.
Too soon, you feel Xavier slipping further away from you.
You don’t want him to go yet. More than ever, a force inside you needs him to stay tonight, and you lock your grip on the white knit shirt he wears. You tug him back over to you to close this unbearable distance he made. The few little inches he moved were more than enough to cause your heart to yearn.
“Not yet,” you want to plead but make it a soft demand. “I just found the perfect spot.” You muffle the neediness of your requests into his skin, though your head is afraid that somehow he’ll feel it.
“You always use that excuse.”
“And it’s always true. So, no moving,” you order.
Xavier gives in so wonderfully quickly. Your heart is rapidly firing when the corners of his lips turn into his usual waif-like smile. You fail at hiding your satisfaction at his surrender, pressing more of your weight against him, in a sure sign to him that you have no intention of letting him escape any time soon.
“I take this to mean you’re finally admitting it’s your fault we didn’t do our errands today?”
“I never said that,” you disagree half-heartedly. “And don't pretend like you weren't the one who kept saying he didn't feel like getting up earlier.”
“And now that I do, you won’t let me up. Am I right? Why’s that?”
There’s a beat skipping in your chest when he asks. His tone is light and open, easy to treat as a teasing joke but also firm enough to be taken seriously. That was always your trouble with him. You could never quite tell what he was thinking and when he was serious. Xavier is hard to understand sometimes, sometimes vague and sometimes very straightforward in his words; and lately, you think he’s consistently more hot than cold towards you ever since the first time you've slept together.
You like to think this development is a good thing. People who knew you always said you worked a little too hard, a little too observant, overly energetic despite your fragile heart; but with Xavier, you could relax. Moments like these: when his arm was around you and when his breath was at the side of your neck, the soft words he speaks in his sleep dancing in your mind, were the moments when patrolling for wanderers and every loss in your life from your family to your problematic heart dissipated into the back of your mind for a few hours.
It isn’t an exaggeration to believe his influence must have been the cause, at least when it comes to this. But your influence is seeping into him as well. Given his loner habits when you first met and his frequent disappearing acts, you never pictured him as one to be so sweet and considerate and adorably charming in a way.
However, you can’t tell him that you enjoy…sleeping with him. You have a strong feeling he already knows how much you like him. Or, you’d like to think he does with the way he constantly seems to hint at it. He can make you flustered with a few words and easily leave you guessing if you’re reading too much into his actions or if he’s really that good at baiting you. It could also be a little of column A and a little of column B, which somehow makes you more antsy around him. Like how you feel now when his eyes meet yours.
“It’s supposed to be cold tonight,” you whisper. It’s a poor excuse but the only one you can use to defend yourself. “They say the best way to fend off the chill is body heat. Who better for that task than you, dear partner?”
“Many things, I assume, a portable heater comes to mind,” he says, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s slyly teasing you behind that naive tone.
“Right, right, those things,” you grumble causing him to laugh as you hide your bashful face against him. “So loud, you know?”
“Are they? Alright, then five more minutes should be doable,” he says in the same low voice that makes your insides boil before his arm lowers to curl around your back. “Although, you’re too comfortable.”
His ears tinge in a lovely rose-colored blush, and you shudder when he finally fails to maintain eye contact and quickly scans your body. It’s slow enough for you to catch though. It makes your chest tight as you watch his quiet inhale and the murky flash of want dye his eyes shades darker before they fade back into clear pools of blue, big and pleading as he studies your face. 
“I might end up falling asleep here.”
It’s a warning, to make you think about the meaning of your actions, you think. However, this isn’t the first time this has happened nor the first time you spent a rainy day inside with each other; the kitchen counter lined with empty take-out trays, with his body heat radiating into you while a long-forgotten movie plays in the background.
It’ll continue like that until one of you is finally coherent enough after drowsy naps to try to piece together who fell asleep on whom first or who is making the other too hot. Neither of you wants to accept the fault without a lot of bickering; that’s if Xavier doesn’t fall back asleep mid-debate.
Even this time, you’re not sure who managed to drift off to sleep first earlier but neither of you tried to get up, let alone leave the house, until now. Ah, but it was your idea to use the bed this time, wasn’t it?
But it was his choice to agree.
Even now, he looks very peaceful nestled with you, and he still whispers your name in his sleep sometimes, which reminds you of the first time you slept together and he dreamt about wanting you to come home with him.
When you’re like this, you want the same thing. You want him to come home…with you.
“Xavier?” you ask quietly. You wonder if he’s fallen asleep already like he said. Carefully, you free your hand from his hold, slide it up his chest, and begin to draw smooth circles with your pointer finger once you reach his cheek. There’s a soft response from him, barely a moan but it’s enough to know he’s not out of it yet, at least not completely. “I’ve been thinking.”
The air is suddenly stifling when he engulfs the top of your hand with his own, holding it tighter as if he’s upset that you moved it out of his grasp in the first place, but it’s not the case as he affectionately seals your palm against his cheek.
“About what?”
The look he gives you makes it hard not to stumble over your thoughts like a schoolgirl despite being very much an adult.
“Wouldn’t…” You pause to steady your voice; you have to force yourself to not avoid his gaze, but each small movement makes your throat tighten. There’s no doubt you have his full attention now, at least what little remains of it. “Wouldn’t it be easier if we…move in together?”
You’re not sure where the courage to ask him a question like that comes from when you’re too unsure to even confess or to ask what the two of you even are but you didn’t have this fear of rejection until now.
“How would it be easier?”
“Well,” you start, unsure why you’re surprised that he’d want a reason. “We’re always visiting one another, and you made me your representative at the tenant meetings, so everyone already treats us like we’re a combined unit. It would also save me trips on watering your plants when you’re away or when you want to come over to eat. We could save money. Money that could be spent at the arcade or on more hot pot.”
There’s a quiet atmosphere that makes you too uneasy. The thrumming of rain grows louder in it along with the beating in your chest that’s telling you that this was stupid. Is it possible to be drunk on endorphins? Perhaps that’s what gave you the idea to ask something so foolish; you’d have to get Zayne to examine your empty head and tell you.
But then, Xavier smiles.
“Those are good reasons especially more hot pot, and I’m sure all the plushies would feel better if they shared a home again.”
Your anxiety lessens and you share in his smile. Luckily, you managed not to ruin everything it looks like.
“But.” Slowly, the inklings of self-doubt begin to return. A but. There’s always one of those. You should’ve expected as much. “If we move in together then we wouldn’t really be “neighbors” anymore.”
“Oh, um—” You become staggered by his observation, even more so when he interlocks your fingers. It’s another time when you’re not entirely sure if he’s being serious or not. His innocent puppy-eyed expression doesn’t help you differentiate either. It always makes your mind wander to more inappropriate topics—like the fact Xavier told you he didn’t believe that other neighbors acted like you two. The memory nearly makes you squirm. In this position, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. “We’d be roommates, much better than neighbors,” you manage to explain, proud when you hold firm, but that delicate foundation cracks when his laugh highlights the room. You could nearly melt.
“Do roommates sleep together too?”
There’s a shine of amusement that makes his face glow and heat claw higher up your neck. You know the question should be taken literally but when he words it like that…with that warm implicative inflection to his voice, you’re unable to think properly, and you realize that maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you shouldn’t have given him the benefit of the doubt this time.
“I’m sure some do,” you answer with some courage, “I’d imagine at least once a week.”
“I believe we’re up to twice a week now. So, if we become roommates, I think we have to do it at least that many times, otherwise I’m afraid I’m going to have to reject your offer.”
“Two times?” you repeat, silently begging the flapping of butterflies in your stomach to calm down at the suggestion, at the implication that he enjoys sleeping with you just as much as you do with him. It makes this strong emotion in your chest blossom even further. “I can manage that.”
“Additional proposal,” he interrupts suddenly. “Perhaps, three times? I can even throw in a pair of those fuzzy socks that I can never manage to find after you visit,” he adds coyly.
“Oh, I’m sure they’re around your apartment somewhere,” you quickly respond before releasing the buildup of nervous air in your lungs. You smile. “Proposal accepted. Shared naps three times a week minimum.”
“In that case,” he breathes in softly, and he slips his hand down releasing all your fingers except for your pinky that he wraps into his own. “I think I would like to be your roommate.”
Inside, there’s unadulterated joy beginning to flood you. You know that this agreement will require a more in-depth discussion that Xavier will probably try to gloss over but this is enough for you right now.
“We should take tonight to practice for our move.”
Confused, you raise your eyebrows. “Practice?”
He nods.
“Sleeping together overnight. We did a few times before, well, only twice in the same bed, once in yours and once in mine,” he explains. You definitely have the clearest memory of that time, of bandaging his wounds, of cluelessly pinning him down shirtless on his bed before he turned the tables on you, and then—you remind yourself to resist going over the details, not with him this close to you. Somehow, Xavier is the one who looks the most insecure between the two of you. Finally, he whispers, “I haven’t forgotten even if it was a long time ago.”
His eyes are half-lidded, cloudy with thought. Something about him looks restrained and longing but it disappears when you finally swallow your swelling emotions and call out his name. There’s a twinkle of adoration that blows away whatever doubt there as he focuses on you again.
“I think about it when I have a hard time sleeping on overnight missions.” Xavier turns and slides his arm from under your head, choosing to lay on his side to face you. “It makes it a lot easier to rest in the hunting zones when you have good memories like that. So, it's nice to have a chance to make more."
“I don’t think I could fall asleep at all if I thought of something like that,” you admit, as close to an admission of your love for him as you could muster without mountains of alcohol. “I’d just think about how much I’d rather be home with them.”
“And now? Are you having trouble sleeping?” he asks huskily, and you have to fight not to keep staring at his lips and the dire need to kiss them as you breathe each other in. You reach out, touching his bare collar then instinctively searching for his slow pulse, counting it to calm yourself from the rush of adrenaline building in you.
You’re not even sure when you breathed out the “yes” that echoes softly from your mouth. His lips are so close to yours that you’re sure he could catch it in his breath if he wanted.
“How about I tell you a story to help you fall asleep?” He sees your hesitation and laughs under his breath. “I promise it’ll be much better than the last one.”
Accepting his offer, you agree to listen to him.
Xavier nods and gently swoops the back of his hand against your forehead and then your cheek before cupping it. There’s a gentle squeeze, and you think you understand why he likes it so much when you do it.
“Once, there was a beautiful queen and a knight,” he begins. “They lived together in a palace far away.”
“And they fall in love and live happily ever after?” you question, too busy in the full and fuzzy sensations filling your being to hold back.
“No, they were separated from each other for a long time,” Xavier corrects but his expression softens at the trickling concern building on your face. “Don’t worry. They meet again and become neighbors.”
“And then?”
“They become roommates,” he states matter-of-factly, which causes you to chuckle at him. You can’t even be bothered to care that he’s poking fun at you.
“Then, happily ever after?”
“I don’t know yet,” he answers, causing you to frown and your face to wrinkle with a sullen expression. His head tilts further into the plush of the pillow. “But you can help me figure out the ending.”
Feeling exhausted from the cathartic flow of emotions from him to you, you wiggle into him and throw your arm across his waist. “There’d probably be a lot of naps and stargazing involved,” you mumble before a tiny yawn.
“Sounds like a happy ending to me. It's good to finally see it,” he agrees, and you sigh when you feel a strong squeeze around your waist. “Although, you forgot to mention the part where the queen promises to not get out of bed without waking him this time.”
You giggle. “She promises not to get up without her knight.”
Content, he hums. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?"
"I think so after a story like that," you confess, reaching out to brush his hair back so you can see his eyes more clearly. "Then again, I always sleep good with you."
"You’ll sleep best when we're close, right?"
You gasp when he shifts on top of you. His lips briefly brush your forehead, by accident or not, you can’t tell as he pins you between himself and the bed. With a stutter, you call out his name yet he pays no heed as he nuzzles his head into your hair.
“Good night, roommate.”
“Xav-!” You pout when he instantly slumps against you. There’s no point trying to wake him up now that his five minutes of alertness have long expired.
Settling your chin against the top of his shoulder, you hook your arms under his to hug him against your chest. Your forearms settle at his mid-back as you hold him close so you can gently brush the ends of his hair.
When you ultimately decide to give in minutes after him, it’s to the warmth of his weight on top of you, the tickle of his hair against your forehead, and the increased pulsing of his heart. Xavier was right, this is too comfortable. Letting your eyes fall close, you wonder if three times a week would really be enough to satisfy this strangely familiar craving. You only wish that the two of you could meet in your dreams like he says, but it's enough knowing you'll have each other in the morning and then on.
“…Good night, Xavier. Sweet dreams,” you whisper before you too give into sleep’s spell.
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verstarppen · 1 year
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˗ˏˋ MASTERLIST ˎˊ˗
the pit stop for all your reading needs !
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mv33 。⋆˚ max verstappen
max and the three musketeers — mercedes is a just a tiny bit worried about your dates with their archenemesis
ln4 ⋆⭒˚ lando norris
in a galaxy far, far away — there's little time between fast cars and spaceships, but you make it work
op81 ✩°˖ oscar piastri
[ WIP ] atalanta and hippomenes — your father is eager to marry you off, but you're not putting the ring for a man who can't beat you in a race
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mv33 。⋆˚ max verstappen
best trophy in your showcase — cheaters deserve to get cheated out of their career, or at least that's how max justifies destroying your ex's life
cl16 ☾⋆˚ charles leclerc
oh no he's hot — your comic book signing takes a turn when a fan walks in wearing a t-shirt with a poorly photoshopped "charles lechair" or wheover that is [ WIP ] caramel splotches — charles makes an oddly specific reference to your youtube channel just once, but the internet decides to internet [ WIP ] apricot bowls — there's nothing charles wants more than to win a championship, but you, the baby and the cottage are a close second [ WIP ] beef? she's a vegetarian — no one could've possibly predicted the real reason why charles made a joke that he'll join eurovision 2024...but you do, and so does your ex
ls2 ✮⁺₊ logan sargeant
behind open doors — the relationship isn't as secretive as you think it is. texan egg hunt — the ricciardo urge to be obsessed with america takes a whole new meaning when your relationship with the only american on the grid is revealed...because of kinder eggs glitter bomb — logan has a very special helmet reveal on instagram to celebrate your olympics gold metal and a scavenger hunt seems like the appropriate way to reveal it to you [ WIP ] she's everything, he's just logan — not to flex, but how many f1 drivers can say they're dating a princess?
gr63 ˖♡𓍢ִ໋ george russell
get on with the show... — mercedes have a strict policy regarding office romance, but that can't stop Totally Spies because they can't read
ll40 ⭒𓈒ㅤׂ liam lawson
[ WIP ] rollar skate paparazzi — the guy you've been flirting with on the roller skate rink conveniently left out the part where he's super fucking famous
op81 ✩°˖ oscar piastri
[ WIP ] fly me to the moon — the world hadn't seen chaos until you parked a miniplane in the pit lane to bring your boyfriend lunchables [ WIP ] blueberry pastries — the mclaren and williams admins love taking advantage of the fact that you and oscar only seem to look like you're not absolutely miserable on camera when you're together meddle about — the singapore heat can't kill you, but the sight of him sweaty and disheveled just might
ln4 ⋆⭒˚ lando norris
[ WIP ] just a couple of besties — the king of spoilers himself, lando "oh is it confirmed?" norris, reveals to the whole world he has a girlfriend...and not a soul believes him.
dr3 ‧₊˚ daniel ricciardo
[ WIP ] you, me, and franz kafka — danny ric doesn't understand how a book about a guy turning into a insect can be interesting, but if it makes his girlfriend happy he'll read it- and maybe melt a few fans' hearts along the way
yt22 ★⋆.⁺ yuki tsunoda
cheap tricks on route 66 — losing a bag at a out-of-city gas station with an etched phone number seems a little too convenient doesn't it?
ms47 ❀˖˙⊹ mick schumacher
count me in — slowly but surely that fake dating plan you cooked up starts leaving its confined lines
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last updated: 20/9/2024
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homoquartz · 2 months
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i think it's easy to write off the night nurse as disliking children, but (and i could be wrong) i see her really quite adoring them
she's just weird! she's not human, she's very old, she's extremely strict, and she's condescending as hell. but her condescension reads to me as very old-school teacher. the kind that were allowed to smack your knuckles with rulers or make you stand in the corner if you misbehaved.
i think you see that best with the girls who were play fighting in front of her. she seems genuinely delighted by the attempt, but she corrects the gore because she lacks the human understanding of what is appropriate for kids. she wants to teach them because they asked.
she's very patient with niko! she is annoyed by the questions but she always let niko ask them, and she answered!
and while her tone was sickly sweet, she was very kind and gentle with the devlin girls.
i think the majority of her ire towards charles and edwin comes from the fact that they are not simply Lost children, they are actively avoiding passing on. they're deliberately fucking with her numbers and cheating the natural order, both of which matter a lot to her. not to mention she was primed to be biased against edwin - he was supposed to be in hell!
this is also why she goes so hard on charles, by digging into his trauma and inflicting it on him. she was not inclined to be gentle after being given the run-around, and she seemed to be under the impression that if she helped him realize how much he hated living, he would willingly pass on. she's super goal-oriented, so i think her concern for anyone's emotions always comes second. and in this case, she thinks they both deserve to feel kind of shitty.
but as soon as charles shows her how much he loves edwin, and how kind edwin is, she helps them. and even before that! as soon as she sees there's an error regarding edwin's destination, she tells them they can stay together while she sorts it out. she doesn't HAVE to let them do that, but it's apparent they don't want to be separated.
of course kashi helped soften her up significantly by helping her learn to be flexible, but he couldn't implant the instinct of kindness in her. that was already there.
idk i just love her a lot
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raguiras · 19 days
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What's this?! Spade of Storms is canon in the game now?! /j
Finally finished this Spade of Storms WIP from early June 😅 Click for better quality!
Reblogs are very appreciated ~
「 Bonus versions & ship ramble below the cut! 」
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♤ More Deuce x Allen: ♤
SHIP INTRO: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4
OTHER ART: 1
Ship blog: @spade-of-storms
♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤
♤ Ship ramble ♤
There are many reasons why Allen and Deuce are perfect for each other (list), but a fair share of said reasons are rooted in or can be traced back to one massive, highly important core point: these two have extremely similar experiences in a reversed order.
Said experiences shaped their personalities, goals, insecurities and "masks" — all of which are highly important factors for Deuce and Allen's relationship development.
So today, I'll be talking about how their backstories influence Allen and Deuce's relationship.
Something I noticed is that if Spade of Storms weren't dating, they'd pretty much end up experiencing at least parts of each other's backstory... and end up in a super miserable state.
Allen is a former honor student who overworked himself to the point of burning out, all because he was a people pleaser and his stellar grades still weren't enough for his teachers who expected nothing but the absolute best from him. Additionally, he had to suppress his true self and interests because he was expected to be a model student in every single way, and anger was something only "bad" kids felt.
Sounds familiar? Deuce is unknowingly on the path to end up in the same situation, except in his case, the fact that he can't seem to achieve better grades no matter what causes him even more distress. If he actually ended up becoming a honor student, Deuce would experience a ton of additional pressure, not to mention that he's already struggling to hide the delinquent tendencies that are a fundamental part of his true personality... Sure, "honor student" sounds like a nice and admirable title to have — but the reality behind it is cruel, and Deuce isn't aware of that yet.
Which is why I gave him Allen.
A large part of Allen's trauma is rooted in his past as a honor student and the crushing expectations people (including himself) threw at him, and he desperately wants Deuce to watch out for himself and approach his goal of becoming a honor student carefully and logically rather than bite off more than he can chew and end up drowning in even more pressure, self-suppression and insecurities. Allen doesn't want Deuce to experience all the negative sides of being a honor student and instead supports the Heartslabyul student's goals by working towards them with a pace appropriate for Deuce, helping him study through actually unique methods specifically tailored for Deuce, and — most importantly — giving Deuce a safe and healthy environment where he can be his 100% authentic self and learn how to properly get his impulsiveness under control at the same time.
And the other way around? How does Deuce's past help Allen?
Deuce quit being a delinquent because it not only disappointed his mom, but also caused him a lot of trouble and massively stained his reputation. While Allen can handle his own delinquent tendencies just fine on the outside, his anger is actually much worse than Deuce's, not to mention that he has incredibly violent fantasies about the people he can't stand...
So far, Allen hasn't done anything bad. But Deuce, despite being a delinquent at heart himself, is able to calmly remind Allen to not do anything he might end up regretting or that might stain his reputation, especially since this is a major fear of Allen's. Deuce's worries and loving way manage to keep Allen in check, no matter how strong the Ramshackle student's hatred for society grows.
♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎
Now, HOW exactly are they able to help each other grow? WHY did they form intimate levels of trust to begin with? And especially, why can Allen actually efficiently help Deuce in the first place when nobody else can?
All will be revealed in the next issue Spade of Storms explanation post >:)
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simplyreveries · 9 months
Note
hello hello!! just wanted to say your blog is super cute!! could I request platonic! dorm leaders with a very very affectionate yuu. like hugging, cheek kisses, the full nine yards. GN reader please!
sorry if my message wasn't clear 😭
have a good day/night!
💐anon
ty ty!!
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riddle rosehearts
he was so incredibly flustered when you first started to show him lots of affection. he tries to keep his composure and push you away slightly while clearing his throat deeming that it's not appropriate! but it's just ever since he broke down after his overblot and then you've gotten close to him (well you barge into his life and make him your friend immediately) that you've been so utterly loving and sweet with him. something he is not particularly used to.
whenever you come by some celebration or unbirthday party you always eagerly come find him and hug him giving pecks on the cheeks. he’ll nervously pull away and thank you for coming, but he felt quite smiley and warm inside. because you usually greet him in such a fashion and refuse to be put off by his need for formalities, he has been accustomed to you doing that all the time whenever you see him. he doesn't necessarily reciprocate it but sometimes you may feel him wrap his arms around you and quickly pulls away.
his temper can easily be calmed down if you're around, he does feel much softer around you… lowkey though he does get a litttleee bit jealous with ace or deuce if you're equally as affectionate with your other friends as well. he can't help it.
leona kingscholar
nope nope leona totally pushed you away the first few (many times) you'd happily come up and try to hug him or kiss him on the cheek. he refused to let you be all affectionate with him, he would simply huff annoyed pushing you away. especially if you try to do anything like that around other people.
it'd take him a while to even warm up to it even a little, but with enough of your own persistence he gives in little by little soon enough. you've upgraded to being able to give him hugs without him giving you some glare and pulling away… he's lost the energy to try at this point you're too eager to find and hug him. he’ll rub his forehead “you're giving me a headache, herbivore.”, but once again doesn't make much of an attempt to push you away anymore.
ok… he still gives you this look, but he's better about it. like when you vote up to him after magishift practice (that he finally went to) and gift him a supportive pat on the back or hook your arm around his to drag him to show him something. the only time he somewhat reciprocated it was genuinely if you seemed distressed or upset about something, like your current situation in twisted wonderland or dealing with stress- he sighed as he wrapped one of his arms around you when you came in for a hug.
azul ashengrotto
he was so surprised at your affection initially but like riddle carefully pushes you away to maintain his image. nevertheless, you still are insistent on giving him so much attention. I’d like to think that after seeing his more… emotional and irrational side during the events of chapter 3 only made you want to dote on your friend more.
whenever you come and find him to give him a quick hug and to check up on him during late hours at the mostro lounge and just ask him about his day and what is he doing. he is slightly taken aback but like the others he's gotten pretty used to your affectionate behavior, he’ll chuckle confused, clearing his throat and thank you for asking. he is not used to this in really any way. in fact, if you think about it… this is probably the first time he's had someone he’s considers himself close to be so affectionate and kind. not wanting anything from him in return but to just be okay??
once he's more comfortable, he will somewhat reciprocate a little, something like placing a hand on your back when you pull away from hugging him. he won't admit it, but he does love the attention from you, it's something he never realized it's what he needed.
kalim al-asim
oh, he's definitely just as affectionate with his friends, if not more than you. kalim will happily hug you back and squeeze you tightly or kiss you back on the cheek and giggle. he's glad to have someone who can understand his affection's, unlike some people haha. he just has so much love to give to everyone.
he always greets you with a big hug, in fact it's basically a habitual thing between you two whenever you see each other on campus he’ll greet you with a big hug all happy every time he sees you. when kalim gets excited to tell you about something he’ll playfully swing your arm and asking you to come over to scarabia because he's holding some sort off celebration, or sometimes he likes to laugh and tell you he's tired as he lays his head on your shoulder.
he always tells you how much he loves the affection from you, you'll always get some cheeky “hehe thank you!” from him. he claims you cheer him up and help him all the time whenever you're all affectionate with him.
vil schoenheit
vil is affectionate in his own ways, i mean, ever since i saw the way he treated yuu and the others during chapter 6 when he kisses them on the forehead in a reassuring manner it made me melt. he definitely is lowkey about it to those he considers close to him. though he doesn't reciprocate much at times, he does appreciate small gestures.
like he will sigh and begin to smooth out his clothing or fix his hair after you hug him, he may even fix yourself up as well if your ribbon is tilted or uniform seems crinkled. but he’ll give you some afterwords shaking his head, giving a small smile “tsk, how troublesome” he’d say.
vil is quite observant though, if he were to notice you don't seem as affectionate with others or try to be with him he’ll definitely see and ask you if you're doing alright. he's surprisingly very sweet with his words. he can't help but consider you dear to him now, if you really seem troubled and worried about something, maybe feeling hopeless because crowley hasn't found a way home yet. he will give you honest advice and if you're lucky a kiss on the forehead as well.
idia shroud
he's so ??!! instant brain malfunction when you first come up to him and kiss him on the cheek, seemingly worried but relieved that he's okay after what went down in his chapter, once you got back to NRC. he will freeze up and feel unsure of what to exactly do because he's so awkward with these things.
the first time he hugged you back was a little tough for him at first (he just gave you that small and awkward pat on the back haha) and immediately pulled away, he feels himself burning up from embarrassment, but you're just so persistent, it does make it easier for him when you're so understanding and kind.
he does get more and more comfortable with you especially after inviting you or sleepovers with him and ortho at ignihyde and they're really fun. at that point he's totally okay having you close by as you're laying with a bunch of blankets, pillows and snacks close together playing videogames with him. he's grown to love it actually, as he casually talks and dumps everything he loves and knows about the game hehe.
malleus draconia
malleus was pleasantly surprised with your sudden affection, though he has known you for a while throughout the game, so he already has kind of gotten the idea you're a naturally friendly and overly affectionate with those close to you. he does notice how you are with grim and the others when out. but when you actually come up and hug him? he's shocked, you? a human would just come up to someone like him and hug him? going on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek when saying thanks for coming to the music festival with him??
after the initial surprise he chuckles placing a hand on your head “you’re quite the brave and unusual one, child of man” he loves that most about you though. he admires and thinks its endearing how often and without even thinking twice about giving him affection and calling him your own friend.
soon enough during the nights when he visits the outside of ramshackle dorm and you come to find him, he’ll gently stretch out his arms already knowing you're going to greet him with a hug. and you just know, his hugs are the warmest and most gentle things ever.
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cherrrydragon · 3 months
Text
➤ find something worth saving (it's all for the taking)
CHAPTER SEVEN: INHIBITION (OR LACK THERE OF)
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SUMMARY ↳ The three C's (carnival, chaos, and cuddle pollen). Jon lets you drag him away, looking back to see Damian squinting at him through the mask. Making your way out of the venue you catch onto Ivy’s parting words. "In a world of violence and chaos, my cuddle pollen offers a moment of peace, a false but blissful reprieve. It's almost poetic, isn't it?" Fuck. Your. Life. pairing: jon kent x gn!reader x damian wayne warnings: mentions of having sex (as a joke/none is actually had), cuddle pollen (kind of non-con cuddling and kissing, but reader really doesn't mind) wc: 4.4k
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Nari wakes you up by screeching in your ear. You groan and roll over, snatching him up and gently throwing him off the bed. You sit in bed and contemplate if you really have to get up and function as a normal person, but alas, you do. Grabbing your phone, your eyes widen a tad. Jesus, you slept till ten? Good thing it’s the weekend.
You have the day off from work, so it’s up to you to find something to do. You feed Nari, making sure to give him a bunch of apologetic kisses. Maybe you’ll swing by the Den today. It won’t hurt to work some more on the badassium.
You groan and stretch, doing some warm-up exercises. Nari perches on your back as you do push ups. He weighs nothing, but it’s the thought that counts. Karen pipes up from your laptop.
“I’ve done you the liberty of adding Victoria’s contact info on your phone.”
You release a fond sigh. “Bit of a meddler, are you?”
“I am simply saving us time.” You snort. You grab your phone, changing Victoria’s name and shoot her a text.
sugar mommy
whats good how we doing
i dont need anything just wanted to say hi
also its [name] btw
Her response comes a minute later.
[Name]???
How did you get my number?
karen did
shes kind of my guy in the chair
does all the super cool behind the scenes stuff yknow how it is
I thought I was your ‘guy in the chair’
fym ur my sugar mommy
Her only response is a money bag emoji, making you chuckle. She’s got personality and it makes you smile. A knock at the door catches your attention. Probably May coming to make sure you’re not dead. She’s gotten used to leaving early now. The lock clicks as you open the door.
Oh, it’s not May. It’s Jon .
“Jon!” you say, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
He smiles, a friendly one. “Hi, [Name]. I was just visiting Dami, but he seems to be in a mood… so I was wondering if we could hang out?” he asks, hopeful. “If that’s okay with you?”
You coo internally. You’ll never get over how sweet he is. “Yeah, of course. Just text me next time, yeah?”
He nods, stepping inside as you open the door for him. Nari trots over to him and rubs against his ankles. “What time did you get up? I don’t think Metropolis is that close to GC.” You feel a little evil, putting him on the spot because you know he flew here.
He pauses, thinking of an appropriate answer. “Uh, I don’t know. Six, maybe?” he winces, hoping that answer makes sense. You don’t have it in you to do the mental calculations so early in the morning, so you nod. You wouldn’t actually out him like that, anyway.
“Got any ideas are we just gonna have hot sex the whole day?”
Jon, to his credit, only lightly blushes. He’s long gotten used to your sense of humor. “There’s that carnival that just opened.”
“Mmm, maybe later. Carnivals always look better when it’s dark.”
“Then…” he thinks, “...let’s just go for a walk. See what we find.”
You grab your keychain with far too many charms on it and your other essentials, hooking your arm in Jon's. “Lead the way.”
May doesn’t have any outward reaction save for a knowing look as you exit the building. You squint your eyes at her in response. The noise of the city greets you as you walk out. People around you go on with their days, each living their own complex life.
It’s silent for a moment as the two of you walk. You take the moment to just think for a moment. You thought life was crazy when you found out you had crazy spider powers, but then you turned it around and made it into something good. You thought life was crazy when you got asked to officially join the avengers, but then you found a family in them. You thought life was crazy when you found out about the ‘spider verse’, but from that you realized you weren’t alone. You should’ve known better than to think it couldn’t get any crazier than that, but here you are. Very far from home.
You just wonder what will come out of this .
“You’re quiet,” Jon notes, voice barely a murmur.
“Just thinking.”
“That’s not good,” he jokes. You scoff and consider flicking him, but it would probably hurt.
“Just thinking how hard it’ll be for Damian to look me in the eye the next time I see him.”
Jon raises a brow. “What… happened between you and Damian? Is that why he was in a mood?”
“So crazy story, he walked in on me making out with my kind-of bully.” Jon’s eyes widen incredibly. His pace stutters and he chokes on air. You grin as you watch his flail. “Making out might be generous, but it was pretty passionate.”
You continue, “God, you should’ve seen the look on his face. He genuinely stopped functioning for a sec! He’s a bigger virgin than I thought. Or maybe it was just that it was with Tori of all people. It’s okay though, she’s not all that she seems.”
Jon stops walking altogether, accidentally yanking you to a stop as well. You blink at him.
“Ok…” he starts, “first of all, you kissed your bully?” he asks incredulously.
“Well, like I said, she's not all that she seems,” you shrug. He nods, still looking at you in disbelief.
“So… what? Are you guys… dating?” he hesitates to say the word.
You scratch your nose, looking down. “Nah… we talked it out, she uh…” you trail off, “...it was a spur of the moment thing, we’re just friends. Now, anyway.” You feel bad saying you rejected the girl who was in love with you, but you also can’t say everything that went down.
You look at Jon, seeing him also looking down in thought. His brows are furrowed, you wonder how strange it is to Damian if it’s so strange to Jon. He nods after a bit, continuing his walk. His arm holds yours a bit tighter.
“You’re the strangest person I’ve ever met,” he laughs disbelievingly.
Probably because this isn’t your universe. “Probably because I’m so awesome all kinds of people want a piece of me.”
“Don’t let it get to your head.”
“Too late,” you grin.
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For as drab as Gotham City is, at least this carnival provides a little bit of color. The vibrant lights provide an enchanting atmosphere. You can’t help but grin. Jon watches you with a smile.
“What do you want to do first?”
“Pie eating contest.”
He blinks. “Okay?” He’s a little confused by your quick and confident reply. Now don’t be alarmed, you usually eat three meals a day. The meals are just… well, some might argue if they’re actually meals or not. Tony estimated that you should be eating five proper meals a day to combat your increased metabolism. You’re not starving or anything as you are now, but if you ever get injured your increased healing won’t help.
“I wanna eat,” is your only explanation as you drag him to the stand.
Jon chuckles as you drag him along, his smile widening at your enthusiasm. “Alright, I’ll join you,” he smiles, matching your energy. The two of you approach the stand where a small crowd has gathered around a makeshift stage. A lively carnival barker stands at the front, rallying contestants and spectators alike.
“Step right up, folks! Who’s got what it takes to be the pie-eating champion of Gotham tonight?” the man announces enthusiastically, his voice carrying over the excited chatter of the crowd.
You and Jon sign up eagerly, taking your places at the contestant table. The rules are simple: eat as much pie as you can within a set time limit. The pies, piled high with whipped cream and fruity filling, look delectable under the carnival lights.
The contest begins, and you and Jon dig in with gusto. The pies are delicious, each bite bringing a burst of sweet flavor. The crowd cheers and laughs as you both devour your way through the pies, alternating between bites and glances at each other, each trying to outpace the other.
Jon manages to finish his first pie just as you’re halfway through yours. He wipes his mouth with a napkin, grinning at you challengingly. “You’re pretty good at this,” he remarks between bites.
You flash him a competitive smirk, determined not to be outdone. “I eat a lot,” you quip back, mouth full of pie.
The contest continues, the pace quickening as the time ticks down. Cheers and encouragement from the crowd spur you on, adding to the thrill of the competition. Despite the messiness and the rapidly filling sensation in your stomach, you keep going, driven by the desire to win and the sheer enjoyment of the moment.
Finally, the timer buzzes, signaling the end of the contest. You and Jon set down your forks, breathing heavily but grinning broadly at each other. The man approaches to determine the winner.
“And the winner is…” he declares dramatically, waiting. After a tense moment, he announces, “It’s a tie!”
You and Jon exchange a look of surprise and then burst into laughter, both of your mouths covered in pie and thoroughly satisfied. The crowd applauds, appreciating the spirited effort you both put into the contest. You fancy yourself smug, seeing as you kept up with a kryptonian.
Jon wipes his hands and face with a napkin, chuckling as he looks at you. "I can't believe we tied," he says, shaking his head in amusement.
You nod, still grinning widely. "Yeah, I can’t believe you kept up with me.” He chuckles, shaking his head.
The man hands each of you a small prize—a colorful ribbon that declares you both "Pie Eating Champions of Gotham City Carnival". You both accept the ribbons with good humor, pinning them onto your shirts proudly.
As you step away from the contest table, Jon nudges you playfully. "So, what's next on our carnival adventure?"
You glance around, taking in the sights and sounds of the bustling carnival. The vibrant lights of the rides beckon in the distance, and the aroma of cotton candy and popcorn fills the air. "Let's hit the Ferris wheel," you suggest, pointing towards the towering structure adorned with sparkling lights.
Jon nods eagerly. "Sounds good to me. Let's go," he says, grabbing your hand as you make your way towards the Ferris wheel.
The line isn’t too long. The worker wishes you a good ride as the two of you step into the brightly colored gondola, slowly ascending to the sky.
As the ride reaches its peak, you both fall silent for a moment, taking in the view. The city skyline looms in the distance, a stark contrast to the colorful and carefree world of the carnival. For a brief moment, you feel a sense of peace and contentment, grateful for this simple yet memorable night with Jon. 
"This is nice," Jon remarks, leaning back comfortably in his seat. You nod in agreement, admiring the view.
Jon looks at you, thinking. There are a million things he wants to say, wants to admit to you. He wonders how you would react to each and every one of them. With only positivity, he’s sure. You’re the type to go with the flow, whatever happens, happens. He’s certain he could trust you with his life, eventually.
He takes a deep breath, unsure what’s about to come out of his mouth. “[Name]–”
The Ferris wheel rocks violently for a heart stopping moment. For the other riders, mostly. You and Jon immediately stiffen to attention, because Ferris wheels aren’t supposed to do that. Jon crosses over to you, locking you in his embrace as he looks over the edge. You try to look as well, but a simple tense of his arms prevents you.
A threatening green is making headway across the carnival grounds, sending people running. Vines bloom, crawling over stands and attractions. Poison Ivy, looking as prickly as ever, strides in gracefully.
"This carnival is a blight on this land," Ivy declares, her voice carrying over the chaos. "You trample on nature for your own amusement, but no longer. Tonight, the Earth fights back."
Oh, great. You can’t do anything because you’re stuck in the air with Jon. Jon can’t do anything because he’s stuck in the air with you. You sigh, leaning back against him.
With a wave of her hand, flowers bloom amidst the destruction, a stark contrast to the panic around her. Ivy's plants begin to dismantle the carnival, reclaiming the area for nature. Her message is clear: the environment will no longer be taken for granted, and anyone who harms it will face her wrath. Vines crawl up the Ferris wheel, wrapping around the gondolas in a nightmarish display.
“Um. Any bright ideas?” you ask Jon.
He says pulling out his phone, he pulls it out of your view and begins to type furiously. You bet a hundred bucks it’s Damian and Jon is furiously texting him to haul ass and get here now .
A vine thrusts itself into the box, making Jon yank you both to the floor in the middle. It spreads slowly, hauntingly, slowly encompassing the gondola. Flowers bloom… ah shit—
Jon shifts the two of you, blocking you from the flowers. Also putting himself directly in front of them. “Jon don’t–” you warn, because regardless of his heritage, it can still affect him. Even more so since he’s only half. He presses your face into his chest right as the flower coughs, releasing the spores right in his face.
“Don’t breathe them in,” he growls. Thanks, you weren’t planning on it anyway. You hold your breath, anyway.
He’s getting antsy. “[Name],” he mutters gravely. “Please. Close your eyes and trust me.”
You internally sigh, preparing how you’re going to act like the most aloof fool after this. You nod and close your eyes. Jon picks you up, arms under your knees and around your back. You wind your arms around his neck and rest against his chest.
Jon, to his credit, doesn’t just fly down the ride. You feel him jump down the bars of the Ferris wheel, making sure to keep you secure in his arms. His landings are precise and calculated, avoiding the chaos below. You hear the gasps and shouts from the people around you as Jon navigates through the mess of vines.
Finally, you feel the solid ground beneath you as Jon gently sets you down. “Okay, you can open your eyes now,” he says softly.
You open your eyes and find yourself standing amidst the carnage, the Ferris wheel towering above you. Vines continue to spread, and the air is filled with the panicked cries of carnival-goers trying to escape. Jon stands protectively beside you, his eyes scanning the area for any sign of Ivy.
“We have to stop her,” you blurt. He looks at you incredulously. You ignore it and look around, trying to find a way to do this without Spinnerette. Eyes narrowing, you spot something in the distance.
“There.” You point at a nearby water tower. “If we flood the area, it might disrupt her control over the plants.”
“Good plan. You should leave it to the professionals.”
You blink, turning around. It’s Robin who spoke, arms crossed and looking at you. However, it’s the sight of the 6’2 emo bitch dressed in a bat fursuit that makes you stiffen.
“Robin! You came!” Jon brightens, before coughing into his fist. “I mean. Of course you came, you’re Robin.” The urge to roll your eyes at his silliness is strong, but you resist.
Batman doesn’t react, though you’re sure he just sighed on the inside. “You should get to safety with the rest of the civilians,” he grumbles out in his Batman™ voice.
You nod rapidly. “Yup yup. Yessir Mr Batman.” You grip Jon’s wrist and drag him away. Fuck that, majorly. If he says leave it up to him, you’re perfectly fine with that. You’re pretty sure he’s gonna take what you said and connect some dots, and you don’t wanna be around when that happens. He can take his theories and shove it up his ass.
Jon lets you drag him away, looking back to see Damian squinting at him through the mask. Making your way out of the venue you catch onto Ivy’s parting words.
"In a world of violence and chaos, my cuddle pollen offers a moment of peace, a false but blissful reprieve. It's almost poetic, isn't it?"
Fuck. Your. Life.
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Jon is looking just a tad bit worse for wear (you’re lying, he looks haggard) when you arrive at your apartment. May, thank god, wasn’t at the desk, so you managed to get by without having to deal with that. You  shove Jon onto the couch, wincing with a small apology. Frantically typing, you google how to deal with cuddle pollen.
The number one suggestion is to visit Gotham General Hospital, but given Jon’s less than human nature, that's a no go. Other results suggest drinking lots of water and sweating it out to dilute its affects.
You throw your phone somewhere and quickly fetch some water for Jon. Nari meows at Jon, sensing something is wrong. When you make your way back you see that Jon has trapped Nari in his arms, cooing unintelligibly at him.
“Drink,” you tell him urgently, lifting his chin. He leans into your touch, obeying. You make sure he drinks every last drop. When he finishes you turn around to get some more water, only to be yanked back. You crash into Jon’s arms, watching as Nari trots away, happy to be free. You wish you were Nari right now.
Jon nuzzles into you, humming contently.
“Jon…” you warn.
“Yeah, baby?” he hums. Jesus.
“You’re under the effects of cuddle pollen. Your mind is scrambled. Just let me get you some water–”
He hugs you tighter at the mention of you leaving, standing up with you in his arms. You try to get free, holding your own for a bit. But alas, he wins. Stupid kryptonian biology. He carries you to the bedroom, setting you down on the bed.
You blink. “Okay, hang on–”
Jon belly flops right on top of you, earning an ‘oof’ from you. He wraps his arms around you, snuggling into your collarbone. He sighs in content as he relaxes on you. There’s no hope for you to escape, is there?
“Jon, come on. Let’s… do jumping jacks or something. Sweat it out of your system. You can even hold my hand!”
Jon grumbles, burying his face in your neck. “I know something else we can do to get sweaty.”
You blink. Then snort. Damn, is that the cuddle pollen talking or is your influence taking effect? You feel Jon smile against your neck.
Sighing, you acknowledge that you’re not getting out of this situation. You hesitantly rest your arms around him. You feel his grin get wider, and then he surprises you even further by laying a goddamn kiss against your neck. You grumble and mutter, “I am going to make fun of you so hard after this.”
Laying there, you think. If you didn’t just compromise yourself to Batman, then hopefully you won’t be approached when you next patrol. Or worse, when you're just being a regular civilian. 
You blink, deciding you’re gonna be a little shit.
“Jon,” you say, “give me your phone.”
Jon reaches into his pocket, unlocking his phone and handing it to you. It’s got a couple cracks in it, and his wallpaper features a photo of a sunset over a vast farm. You scroll through his contacts, clicking the one that says ‘damian !! (stinkin loser)’. You click the call button, hoping he’s done superheroing and has time to answer.
He answers on the third ring. “Jon, you fool, what were you–”
“Damian,” you interrupt before he says something you’re not supposed to know. The line goes quiet on the other end. “I’ll keep it brief. Jon got absolutely fucked over with a face-full of cuddle pollen and he won’t let me go. We’re at my apartment, so if you can pull some rich people strings and get an antidote or something I would very much appreciate it.”
“...He won’t let go of you?”
You roll your eyes and snap a picture of Jon wrapped around you. “Help,” is all you say after you send it.
You hear him sigh. “I’ll be there in fifteen,” is all you hear before the call cuts. Jon yanks the phone away from you, throwing it somewhere in the room as he flips the two of you over. You lay on his chest now, feeling his chin rest on your head and his hands come up to rest on your waist, fingertips creeping up under your shirt.
Your phone is in the other room and you didn’t see where Jon threw his, so you’re left to stew in his arms until Damian comes. You begin to hum a song, for your own peace of mind, ignoring the way Jon’s hands rub your skin in a back-and-forth motion. Jon removes one of his hands and places it on the back of your head, pushing you into his neck. The bastard lays another kiss on your head, muttering comforting words.
Damn, you think you’re starting to fall asleep. Sue you for feeling safe in his arms, he’s literally Superboy. It doesn’t help that you're lying in bed and he's rubbing your back so softly you feel like he’s your boyfriend comforting you after a long day.
You hear your door kick open, and the only reason your fight response doesn’t kick in is because you’re still stuck in Jon’s arms, and because you know it’s Damian. Jon on the other hand, immediately sits up, glaring hard at your hallway. When Damian shows up in your doorway, bag in hand, he relaxes. He lies back down in the bed, snuggling in to you.
“Hi,” you say awkwardly.
He ignores your weak greeting, digging into his bag and pulling out a syringe filled with what can only be the antidote. You pointedly make a note to definitely not mention how the needle is green.
“Just be careful he doesn’t grab you. He’s… really strong,” you mutter.
He grabs Jon’s head, pushing it aside to bare his neck. You’re surprised Jon lets him, but cuddle pollen does leave people without inhibition. Damian sticks the needle in, making Jon groan. You watch the fluid disappear, feeling peaceful knowing that this will soon be over. Damian finishes administering the antidote and takes a seat on the bed.
“Thanks for… coming through,” you say. You don’t know what else you can really talk about right now.
Damian just looks at you. “What were you even doing there?”
He means the carnival. You furrow your brows. “Hanging out? Sorry we didn’t predict that Poison Ivy was gonna be there. Maybe you should talk to Batman about that.”
“You could have been hurt. Jon did get hurt.”
“It’s just cuddle pollen, Dami,” you reassure, placing a hand on his arm. He grasps it tightly. “You gave him the antidote, he’s not hurt.”
Damian’s grip on your arm is firm, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re lucky it was just that. It could have been worse.”
You nod, understanding his concern, but feeling a bit annoyed at the same time. “I know, I know. But we’re fine now. Jon’s going to be okay.”
Damian's expression softens slightly at your reassurance, though his concern is still evident. He looks at Jon, who seems to be coming out of the pollen's effects, his grip on you loosening. Damian then turns his attention back to you, his gaze intense.
"You shouldn't take unnecessary risks," he says, his voice low but firm. "Especially not with someone like Jon."
You raise an eyebrow at the implication in his tone. "Are you implying something about Jon?"
“Jon is… brave, but restless. Just be more cautious.”
You give him a playful smirk. "Are you worried about me, Damian Wayne? That's almost sweet."
He scowls slightly, clearly not amused by your teasing. "I'm serious, [Name]. This city is dangerous enough without getting caught up in avoidable situations."
“I promise to be more careful in the future,” you say, eyes earnest. It seems to settle Damian, for now.
Jon groans under you. He sits up, taking you with him. You fall to his lap as you look at him. He blinks for a moment, taking in his surroundings. You hear his heartbeat slowing, calming. He looks at Damian, looks at you. Stares at you, whom his arms are around, in his lap.
He freaks, shoving you out of his embrace and scrambling back. Damian catches you, growling, “You fool, Jon, careful!”
“I’m so sorry!” he cries. “I was… oh my god, I’m so sorry–”
You hold out your hands to placate him. “Jon, it’s okay! I’m fine, I don’t care. You weren’t in control. You didn’t do anything.”
“I should have left when I got hit,” he growls to himself.
You sigh, looking at Damian for help. “What’s done is done. No use in whining about it now,” he huffs, shifting you to sit up.
Jon purses his lips, looking like he wants to cry. You open your arms, “Come on.”
He hesitates, so you grab him and haul him into your embrace. He stiffens, before wrapping his arms around you. He melts into your embrace.
Damian clears his throat, making Jon pull back with a sheepish expression. “I should really get home before my parents worry.”
You nod, patting his arm. “Of course.”
He thanks Damian as well on his way out. You don’t hear the door open, so you figure he just got antsy and couldn’t stay in the room longer. You don’t blame him. You sigh when you see he left his phone, grabbing it and handing it to Damian.
“Thank you,” you mutter. You look into his eyes, he looks back. In a moment of weakness, you place a hand on his cheek and lean in, pressing your lips to his other one. The kiss is chaste, barely lasting for a second before you pull back. “You’re paying for my door.”
Damian says nothing in response, simply watching you. He raises his hand, clasping yours and gently bringing it down. He nods.
“It was nothing.” And then he and Jon are out the door. You sigh, laying down in your bed that smells like Jon now. No patrol tonight, again.
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notes: jon was about to risk it all on that ferris wheel just saying
171 notes · View notes
juniperdugong · 4 days
Text
Super Weird - Vernon
WC: 867 || Genre: Fluff || CW: Suggested bullying (?)/ reader being an outcast || Vernon x GN!reader (established relationship)
A/N: For all my weirdos because I'm a weirdo and Vernon is too, ain't no denying it, just a buncha freaks in masks huh?
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"Do you think I'm weird?"
Vernon looks at you, eyes squinting in confusion and his expression shifting into a scowl seeing that you're completely serious, "Whaf dar haw ah yo tarking abo-?" (What the hell are you talking about?)
His mouth is filled with the last and biggest spoonful of food that you knew you couldn't finish so - as the routine goes - you gave it to Vernon. He furiously chews at a pace that you know probably isn't safe and with a large and rather painful-looking gulp his mouth is free of obstructions. "What did you just say?" his tone sounds more lightly confused but his face gives quiet anger more than anything.
"Hansol you heard me. Do you think I'm weird?" You speak very monotonously, a trait the two of you shared.
"Of course you're weird." He says it like it's a matter of fact. His expression completely drops into the deadpan face you're used to. He ignores how perplexed you look as he brings the dishes to the sink.
"And you're okay with that?" You ask out of genuine curiosity, you know that most people would outcast someone they think is weird - it's something you've often experienced at school and work. So if he thought you were strange then why would he stick around?
"Why wouldn't I be?" He looks up at you almost accusatorily as he scrubbed the dishes and put them to dry.
"I mean- It doesn't bother you at all that I'm abnormal or weird? I know people talk about how I sound or that I'm too... strange and stuff. It isn't lost on me but if you also know that then why do you stick around?" You let your words spill just wanting to get down to the root of the issue while escaping the heavy-handed approach of blurting out "Why would you want to be with someone you find weird?".
"Nope." That was his reply. His. Entire. Answer. Just "Nope." and then he picked his phone up from the table and went to sit in the living room. You know he saw your face as it contorted into even more confusion and bafflement but he ignored it!
You did the only sensible thing, of course, and immediately trailed him and sat right next to him, snatching his phone out of his hand as he opened up a game. You had his attention and yet he seemed confused? As if he wasn't the one who completely dodged your questioning before.
"Yes?"
"You have nothing else to say?"
He gave himself a moment to think, you thought for a millisecond that perhaps he's finally found a more appropriate answer, "Nope."
"Huh?" You shake your head completely bewildered. "You know I'm weird and you still want to be with me, why is that?"
"It's probably because I love you or something weird like that-" He turns to you as a blush sets in. Chuckling he gives a small pinch to your cheeks, fighting the cuteness aggression he feels, "Don't think about it too much though, that's a fact you should already know about by now... I would hope you know about by now..." He tilts his head as he says that last part as if questioning if you really did know about his love after all this time.
Vernon's love for you was something you never questioned, even though he wasn't exactly the best at physically expressing it he always made sure to assure you through words, actions, or gifts. It was a bit odd honestly, like he had some sort of psychic powers to know what your needs are. Maybe...
"I think you're the weird one actually-" you start thinking out loud.
"Yeah? Maybe."
"And you accept that, Han?"
"Mhm." His answers are blunt and to the point, you have to wonder if he's just saying this to satisfy your curiosity- "I'm not just saying that by the way. I know that I'm weird, babe."
"You a wizard?" He squints as he looks at you, waiting for clarification, "You read my mind like one."
"Nope, I'm just a really good boyfriend I think." He relaxes into the couch, pulling you onto his lap and retrieving his phone from your grasp.
"So we're both just weird and we both just have to accept that?"
"Looks like it, babe."
"huh..." You ponder on it for a moment as your eyes look around your shared apartment. Shelves filled with knick-knacks of yours, pillows in the shape of cartoon characters, anime on the TV currently... "Yeah, okay." You retract your worry as quick as it came, it was an absurd thought that you let yourself get caught up in any way. You wrap your arms around his neck, leaning your head against his shoulder as you watch him play his game.
"Hansol?"
"What?"
"Why am I seeing a half-naked man on your screen right now?"
"That is my current boyfriend, Sylus."
You look at him and raise an eyebrow, he meets your nebulous expression with a peck on the lips. "You are weird, Han."
"I know baby. It's honestly weirder that you heard me say all of that and that's your only reaction."
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A/N: Hahaha totally not something to sate you guys as I continue working on the Cheol angst fic... (Please help me I'm 3000 words in and still haven't gotten through half of my bullet points) Tbf I did say it was gonna be long though... First Vernon fic though! Plus comeback around the corner, yeah let's all talk about all the whiplash that's been going on in Caratland rn...
Please Reblog and Comment (They act as power-ups for me)
Taglist (OPEN): @bemybabiibish @bath1lda @porridgesblog
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loriache · 6 months
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Thistle & Senshi: Missed Connections
continuing my thistleposting... here is my manifesto for thistle and senshi: friends. In another life 😥
For one thing, they've been unknowing cohabitants for most of senshi's life. thistle doesn't think much of the non-golden kingdom residents of the dungeon, of course - he considers them trespassers and thieves! but there is a difference between trespassers and thieves who mind their own business, and even help keep other adventurers out (he obviously knew about and tolerated the orcs), and trespassers and thieves who make a mess of his dungeon (hateful, to be killed).
which I can't blame him for!
Based on what it looks like when marcille became the dungeon lord, we could assume that creating a dungeon is super easy - just rely on the winged lion for everything! But we see in thistle's flashbacks, that isn't how he did it.
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Thistle did a lot of the work of building the dungeon manually. Perhaps because he was trying to build a sustainable dungeon, that could support a large population of living people - who he was invested in surviving themselves, not being replaced by puppets by the demon. They need a functioning ecosystem!
Of course, this is all pragmatic. After working on it for so long, I am sure Thistle is attached to the dungeon and its ecosystem, but more as a means to an end than for its own sake. As we see from the way that Laois defeats him, Thistle isn't really interested in monsters, and doesn't really understand the value of food...
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Though I think he once did, and the fact he doesn't anymore is more down to the lion's interference than anything.
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Senshi is attached to the dungeon's ecosystem. It's his home, even though he lost his family there, and he's come to care about it in its own right.
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There are aspects of it he finds distasteful or dislikes, such as the immortality spell. But overall, if he had a chance to talk to Thistle about his hard work building up and maintaining the dungeon, he'd be greatly appreciative of it - this is his home, and it's a place that Thistle made to be a home.
In fact, Senshi (and the orcs) have been willingly living in the dungeon. Whereas the people that Thistle created the dungeon for have to be kept there by force. I doubt it's something he'd be easily appreciative of, but it's something, isn't it?
I also think it's incredibly cute that they both keep diaries.
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Senshi's diaries have drawing, Thistle's have poems... they're both artists! Thistle with his music & Senshi with his cooking, they both have arts that they share with others to make them happy, and art that they keep to themselves.
Based on the diaries, including the ones in the complete Adventurers Bible..... it doesn't seem like Senshi ever learned Thistle's name! This makes sense since they really don't have much interaction - mostly Thistle talks to Laios or Marcille.
I don't think it should have gone any other way, since they're the protagonists and foils, but I do think in a more chilled out setting, Senshi and Thistle could get on.
Like Izutsumi, Thistle's a bit of a brat.
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(I love him)
He probably had good table manners once upon a time, but I reckon he is very out of practice.
And we see he isn't in the habit of sharing:
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Senshi would disapprove!
Senshi's desire to get everyone living well can be a bit overbearing. He already cleaned Thistle's kitchen for him!
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But like Izutsumi, Thistle is another character that Senshi's habit of assuming non-dwarves to be children would be appropriate for. He's much older than Senshi, yeah, but his maturity levels seem to have stagnated along with his physical form in some ways. I doubt that anyone has treated him like a kid since way before he became a dungeon lord. The humans around him didn't understand his age, we can see that from the responsibility Delgal puts on him!
I think it would be good for him to have a person in his life who treats him like a kid, after he's had to be an adult so early and have so much responsibility for so long. And I'd like him to sit down and eat a delicious meal.
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Sometimes that does happen! But Senshi would have done better </3
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Thistle's ending is sad, but it's cathartic and makes sense. After being consumed by the winged lion, I doubt he'd be able to persist for a little longer, like Yaad - why would he even want to?
But I do think it would be nice if he could have met new people, formed new desires outside of his codependency with Delgal, and eaten a meal together with new people. Senshi could have helped him with that, if he had had the opportunity.
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tablestoastandtime · 7 months
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Legacy and Shadows
Say what you will about large parts of Tim's characterization being a product of the archetype he used to embody in the DC universe, it's kind of fucked up to suddenly become a completely different kind of character without your say so.
Or, Tim and the fact he doesn't get to have a future.
Tim wasn't sure what to make of the way everyone seemed confident that one day Damian would be Batman.
The kid was the only one to say it out loud, for the most part, but like a surprising amount of things that came out of his mouth everyone seemed to mostly take it for truth. And to be fair, when had Damian ever let anyone really stop him from going after something he felt he had a right to? So maybe it was true, if only because he was going to make sure of it. 
It was just. People used to think that about Tim, too. Not that he'd ever said that, ever even wanted it. If anything, Tim had spent as much time as he could reminding people that he wasn't Batman and had no intention of being him. But the shadow of it had lingered, and part of Tim had been bracing for it for years.
After all, Dick wanted to be Batman even less than Tim did, had initially been willing to let the mantle die to avoid it. Dick was Nightwing in a way not everyone ever got to inhabit their titles. Part of what made Dick one of the best of them was how he managed the split; by not letting there be one. Dick was Nightwing was Coach Grayson was whatever bullshit name he'd picked up while playing super spy. He never stopped being himself in any of those roles, for all that he'd put on the appropriate hat to play the crowd. There was a difference between performing and lying, and Dick was born for the lights. 
Batman didn't have much to do with light even at the best of times.
And on the other end of the spectrum, Batman was bad for Jason in a way that honestly caught Tim off guard when he first saw it. Sure none of them had been at their best back then, all alone in their own seas of grief, but Jason had lost whatever stability he'd had for a while there, and was only more recently leveling back out. He'd latched onto the mantle as both connection and insult, a last 'fuck you' to a man he wasn't ready to let go of yet. For Jason the cowl hadn't been about any actual interest in the job that needed doing. And yeah, maybe Tim was a bit biased because if he ever saw Jason in a batsuit again he was liable to do something truly stupid to pay him back for last time. What was worse, being attacked by a symbol of trauma or a symbol of faith?
Tim sure knew that he hadn't liked his end of the stick, at the very least. Maybe he'd feel differently if things hadn't gone the way they had, but he didn't want Jason to be Batman and it was only mostly personal.
Even before all that though, the idea of legacy had still been haunting Tim for longer than he'd wanted to admit. People died, heroes died, Tim knew that better than he knew what school he'd taken second year bio at, but the job always remained. Dick had only been interested in doing part of that job. He'd do the parts he wanted to well, Tim had always believed that, but that still left the rest of the job.
And Tim had kind of figured that would be his responsibility.
He hadn't always been happy about it, had resented the shapes Bruce built into his work even as he'd learned more and more why they'd been necessary to keep the undead freight train of the Bat going. Tim didn't like a lot of what Batman had to be to be effective, but he understood it and he didn't want to see Gotham or the world go without the pillar he represented. If you wanted a job done right, sometimes you had to do it yourself. Tim wouldn't ask anyone else to do something he wasn't willing to do, and if it meant Gotham got to keep its hero then yeah, he'd put on the cowl one day. He'd already tried once.
More than that, Tim was pretty sure Bruce used to see things the same way. Half of his training only made sense if it was to be something that was both more and less than Robin. He'd been preparing Tim for a role that wanted to eat him alive, and for all that Tim had gotten maybe more attached than was strictly healthy to the Robin mantle, it had become a part of him rather than his whole identity. Robin leapt into dark and danger feet first. To be Batman was to live there all the time.
Whether Tim had liked it or not, he'd spent the better part of the last four years half-knowing he'd have to move there one day and he'd lived like it was true. Frustrated, fighting it sometimes and dutifully twisting his edges to better fit others, but always like it was a future he couldn't afford to be unprepared for.
And then Damian came into their lives and Darkseid tried to transtemporally nuke Tim's remaining mental health. There was a paranoid imp that lived in the back of Tim's head that still half-believed that the whole thing had been another elaborate test, except this time if it had been then Tim must have failed because he never did get his life back afterwards. 
Tim put himself and everything he believed into a blender to find the cracks in everyone else's certainty and for all that he'd been right it had never even mattered. The Justice League found out about and went after Bruce independently. They'd only called him after he'd spent months playing into his own worst instincts to get the job done, just to do almost all of the work in front of him.
Maybe he'd done it all wrong. Maybe he'd been doing it wrong for a while.
Even if he hadn't wanted it, he'd been Tim Drake. Robin. The kid who might one day be Batman. And now, by some silent consensus he hadn't been invited to, he wasn't.
It was a relief. It was a deeply haunted house he'd been written out of the will for, it was a black hole that had materialized over his head and swallowed everything he had seen ahead of him.
It was the reality Tim needed to figure out how to live with.
He was doing his best these days, trying to fit the pieces of the person he used to be into the new shape of his life, but he kept cutting himself on the edges where they didn't quite line up. Cut other people sometimes too, even when he tried not to. But when he tried to take space to keep the sharpness to himself, it took his eyes off the movement of the world and when he looked up he had to start all over again to try to put together the puzzle of what he was going to do for the rest of his life.
And through it all, Tim kept turning over the issue of finding a name to use, methodologies to employ, somewhere he could even live, because the ones he used to have didn't really belong to him anymore. Never had, in all fairness.
They'd always been things gifted to him in exchange for dedication and hard work. He'd thought at the time that had meant earning. Now, of course, he knew better.
And now he had to do without them.
Who was Tim Drake if he was never going to be Batman? Who was Tim Drake, as someone who used to be Robin?
He had no idea. Tim just hoped it didn't take the rest of his life to figure it out.
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weeb-polls-with-pip · 9 months
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Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 6
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Propaganda:
Kiriwo -
"Seems innocent at first and he's just a guy with a special interest in magic items, but watch out."
Arjuna -
"MASKING KING!!!!!! ok joke aside one of his biggest things is that he's super scared that if anyone gets too close to him they'll notice he's not perfect/has a 'secret darkness' (that's literally just a guy) and overall a lot of his storyline is a strong parallel for being neurodivergent and becoming more comfortable with accepting it. he's also super strict and hard on himself for any sort of failure that isn't in line with what's socially appropriate but at the same time he doesn't always have a good grasp on what that is which is how you get stuff like him blowing up a forest to try and impress someone. it also runs in his family bc his brother is autistic as hell too."
Sherlock -
"God, where do I start? I mean what Holmes adaptation, even if he's not the main character, would this be if he were not autistic coded? And our combo of autism and ADHD is absolute perfection, all tied up with a pretty, excitable face. Hit him with the crime hyperfixation and do not make him wear socks."
Apollo -
"Not canonically autistic but he has ZERO volume control plus he scripts/repeats stuff (“I’M FINE!!!”), sometimes mimics other people’s speech patterns (like replying “ja” to Klavier), sensitive to loud noises (stayed backstage at a concert cuz it was too loud) and bright lights (complained about the stage lights being too bright at the same concert + screamed when opening the hatch to the bright stage at magic show), and has been really into space since he was a kid, which could definitely be a hyperfixation (not to mention how he read every single one of Phoenix’s old case files back when he admired him). Plus he’s a little TOO normal, to the point where it circles back around to making him the odd one out, which is absolutely what masking feels like for me. Even when he tries to be fun and weird he gets strange looks/made fun of for not being weird in the right way. The list of autism symptoms is just a checklist for him at this point."
Heiji -
"90% of the cast in detective conan is autistic but heiji is the most autistic of them all."
Urara -
"Another alien who is so excited to dance with everyone that he does not understand that his intended purpose of inviting people to dance via water communication is brainwashing them into dancing and is causing extreme chaos. He nearly causes an apocalypse by being so excited about dancing but he apologizes and tries to make friends with Yuki at the end of the story. He is extremely soft spoken and try, finding it difficult to begin conversations and fidgeting."
Shu -
"speaking specifically about the first season but he was the "explains everything so the audience knows whats happening" guy. he was pretty antisocial (not sure if thats just how he was or if he lived alone [which was fucked up cause he was 11]) . im trying to think of more but my brain goes hghghhhggggh im just a big fan of him."
Vash -
"ain’t no way i’m the only one who’s submitted him. go look at the gif of him crawling in the dirt like a bug while he dodges bullets and get back to me."
Hyakkimaru -
"Due to a terrible curse he has lived his whole life without several body parts including his eyes and ears. Because of this he is often overstimulated and awkward in new situations (when he doesn't do what he does best, killing monsters and samurai with his sword arms) He can't say or express much, and often comes off as strange and creepy, but he is actually a cutie patootie full of emotions, has a big heart, a keen brain, endless inner strength and loves the people close to him! This adorable, cursed, demon slaying boy deserves everything!"
Kei -
"He has the tbh face. Also he canonically has sensory issues and gets sensory overload. He constantly wears earbuds. He has an extremely rigid sense of morality and considers himself a savior figure. He has a hard time relating to other people and is a bit awkward in his interactions."
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itslilypad · 2 months
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okay so at the start of metroid dread adam is like "the bounty for this mission does not seem appropriate. the risk outweighs the reward" which implies samus took this mission even though it doesn't pay well because she thinks its the right thing to do
but like who's in charge of the federation?? fucking mr krabs?? why isn't several-time savior of the galaxy samus aran being fairly compensated for dealing with a threat that could destroy said galaxy?? like i get that they gave her a ship and robot buddy a while back but whatever's going on with this planet definitely fucked up their indestructible super-robots and again COULD DESTROY THE GALAXY
TO SAY NOTHING of the fact that samus is the ONLY ONE who can actually go deal with the x parasite here since she's the only one with immunity to it
they knew she would go though, since she's a good person and saves the galaxy all the time, so it makes fiscal sense to offer a lower bounty since you know that local traumatised lady samus aran feels like she has a responibility to go do this kinda shit. i guess what i'm trying to say is that the galactic federation are cheapskates and the budget guys were probably just mad that their mega-ultra-explorer robots got merced as soon as they showed up
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lazypanartist · 1 year
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Hobie Brown x Artistic/DIY Reader x Roommate Gwen Stacy
Idk. Vibes? Someone rbd part 3 with something like 'bisexual vibes', so.. yeah. Here's some content
Pt 1 - pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4
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Warnings: maybe spoilers for ATSV, IDK. Reader's in the punk scene and from Hobie's universe. Whole lotta projection. Also kinda trauma healing Gwen? Super OoC but that's life.
Features personal Hobie HCs I guess. It's just self indulgent. Also! Roommate Gwen?
Please RB, likes alone don't do anything for the algorithm!
-----
She doesn't *quite* live with you, but Gwen's presence in your flat is almost constant
With the exception of spider business, of course
Coincidentally, that's when your boyfriend is still home, too
Gwen tries to keep her presence in your flat..
Small.
Cleaning up after herself, regardless of how little she's put on the table
Curling into the side of the couch
Keeping the TV volume down if she watches anything
It almost seems insecure, the way she's pulled into herself
"She has a massive personality, luv.. I think she's still adjusting."
He's already told you how she ended up befriending him, and, well.
You don't have any reason not to trust him
So you let her do her thing
With a few small adjustments
Her hoodie gets tossed to her spot on the couch when she's away
Along with your vest she's appropriated
With a new patch - one of her mask, sewn onto the collar
She's startled when she sees it just laying there when she gets back, quickly hanging it back up
She reacts that way the first two or three times, then just leaves the small mess be
It's in her spot now, anyway
The next adjustment
Volume
If she's watching something, you can see her leaning towards the TV, almost straining to hear anything from the staticy box
When you pass her like that, just.
Grab the remote and turn it up a few notches
When she glances your way you just shrug on your way to the kitchen
"Couldn't hear it."
And slowly, she adjusts to that, too
A few months after she starts staying over, your greeted with a small surprise
A familiar sweater - one of Gwen's - is thrown over the back of a chair instead of being folded or on a hook
You offer Hobie a small raise of your bow, and he only smiles in response
"You move in yet?"
Gwen glances up at you from the couch, feet kicked up on the table
She shrugs
"Not exactly planning on asking dad for my stuff
You nod, glancing towards the TV
The higher volume is what indicated she made it back before you
"Well. If you need anything, just ask. Or grab it, if you know where it's at."
She sighed quietly, offering a small smile
"Yeah, sure."
Hobie bumps your him as you enter the kitchen
"See?"
"She's still a little closed off, Hobes."
He presses his shoulder into yours.
"Yeah, well. She's still adjusting."
"Definitely different than a month ago."
It's almost wistful, you realize
He chuckled behind you, pressing a small kiss to your cheek
"She'll get there."
You huff out a quiet affirmation, watching as she stretches out just a bit more
"Yeah, I know. She just needs a little time."
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