#just did a shitty little 3 recovery but i feel great

[bsaka7]

did u guys know i love running. i love running

[charlie-is-fine]

Shane x SDV farmer fic

Hurt/comfort, 1500 ish words, lots of self deprication

Basically Shane x reader in recovery where both you and Shane are trying to fight off your former addictions together. :D

You wake up in your queen-size bed, feeling the hard mattress against your back. “Fuck” You thought lying in bed. You felt like shit. You haven’t even opened your eyes for the first time today, and you knew it was going to be rough. 2 months, 13 days, and 11 hours since your last relapse. And Yoba did you want to ruin it. You knew better of course, but it was hard parenting your brain every. Single. Day. You just wanted to lay in bed and rot today. You knew you couldn’t. Your husband wouldn’t allow it. “Shane-” You thought. You didn’t want to tell him. You know you should, he is your partner after all, but you can’t. He knew about your addiction, and you both promised to fight them together. But yesterday… Shane had a bad day. You had gotten an ad from Gus in the mail, the saloon was a danger zone for Shane. It was a rough day for both of you. “I can’t bother him today, he had such a shitty day yesterday… today he needs to focus on himself.” You decided. You can handle this yourself today. 

You manage to pull yourself out of bed, stretching your arms out to the world. You tiredly shuffled to the mirror, pausing to look at your reflection. So many people told you that you would look better in recovery. Your eyes were baggy, and you had a zit by your lip. “Great,” You thought. You quickly move on, you have a full day ahead of you after all. You head downstairs, where you see Shane has made you a plate of scrambled eggs. You also notice Shane who had dozed off on the couch. “The poor guy, probably couldn’t sleep” Just another reason for you to keep to yourself today. You quickly shovel the eggs in your mouth, and grab a triple shot espresso. You check the TV before you head out, “The Spirits are very displeased today.” “Me too, spirits, me too,” You thought, finally ready to start your morning chores at 11 a.m. 

You grabbed your golden watering can, ready to mass water your melons, blueberries, and of course hot peppers for Shane. Doing the mindless task was a nice little distraction. Just think about the plants. Don’t think about how horrible you are. Don’t think about your addiction. Don’t think about how you’ve hurt people. Don’t think about how you broke their trust. Don’t think that you’re a monster. Don’t thi- Your dog licked your leg. You needed to give him water. You pet him, silently thanking him for helping you. All of your plants were watered, and you had a solid 87 blueberries and 4 peppers. “That’ll be a nice chunk of gold,” You thought. You take a deep breath and then walk over to the coop. You have no idea if Shane’s checked on the chickens and ducks this morning. You open the gates, petting Besty. Shane loved the chickens. He was so caring with them, giving them baths and while he denies it- you’ve heard him singing them to sleep. That’s why you married him, he’s so sweet. “He’s way too good for you” You shook the thought out of your head. You walked into the coop and everything was normal. The ducks were happily drinking their water, while the chickens were nibbling on hay set out. You went to your auto-grabber and grabbed 3 chicken eggs- two silver and one gold- and a duck egg-silver quality. “These are going to be tasty mayonnaise. Thanks, girls!” Shane always told you to thank the animals for their products, and you weren’t going to argue with your husband. You head out, and plop the eggs in the mayonnaise machines. It was only 2:00? You didn’t want to do anything today. You wanted to fall asleep. You wanted to cuddle into your husband’s hairy chest while you watched a shitty movie. You wanted to relapse. You hated that you wanted to relapse. You weren’t proud of it. You felt stupid that you got addicted in the first place. You should've just said no. Why were you like this? You were such a fai-  “Y/N?” Shane called out from the front door. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine!” You called out. “Thanks for the eggs this morning!” You walk up to Shane, trying to control your hands which are shaking. 

“Are you sure you’re okay baby?” Shane asked placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just think the summer’s heat is wearing me out.” You awkwardly chuckle. 

“I’ll take your word for it. I’m going to go check on Jas and Aunt Marnie today, but I’ll be back for dinner.” He quickly kisses your forehead. No- I want you home… to save me… to care for me… “Have fun!” You smile and kiss him back. You loved that man and would do anything to see him happy. 

Gotta stay busy. Fishing! That’s it. You’ll go fishing since Jodi said she needed a rainbow trout for a recipe anyway. It’s the perfect distraction. You grab your iridium pole, some wild bait that Linus was kind enough to give you, and your trap bobber. 

On the way to Pelican Town, you see Pam standing by the bus. She was drinking something… but you didn’t care, you were more focused on making sure she didn’t want to talk to you. You didn’t want to talk to anyone today unless it was Shane. Yoba, you should’ve just gone with him. You shake that thought out of your head, as you head up to the abandoned Joja Mart. It was the perfect place to fish as no one went up there anymore. But once you get there, you pause and stare up at the building. So much of Shane’s pain came from this place. What would’ve happened if Shane didn’t work there? What if he never started drinking? We he be too good for you then? This place left a man so broken, one that you are helping to fix, but part of you wonders if you can be fixed. You are one farmer. One that just moved in. You took away his job. How could he love you? Think of all the horrible things you done. The stuff you did while you were addicted. Who were you kidding- you still were addicted. You can never be a good enough person for Shane- you were nothing-

You spiraled even more after that. Not a single fish was caught that evening by Joja Mart. By the time you were done, you were fucking exhausted. All you wanted to do was relapse, get that high just one more time, to help get rid of all this pain, if not for a mere second. But you withheld. You stood up and dusted your clothes off. Yoba, you were a mess. You slung your pole over your shoulder and trudged back home. Most of Pelican Town was ironically in Gus’ saloon that night. Part of you wanted to go in, but you knew better. Shane wouldn’t be in there. Even if he was, he wouldn’t want you. 

When you finally made it back to your farm you stood at the door for a few minutes. You were scared. Scared that maybe your brain was right. Scared that Shane finally got some sense and would leave you. But when you walked in the door, a different scene played out. Shane was in the kitchen, with some rock band playing on a small radio. He seemed to be making spaghetti. It wasn’t fancy or anything, the sauce was from a jar, but you didn’t mind.

“Oh hey Y/N! Good to see you back!” He gave you such a genuine smile. 

This man made you dinner. He cleaned the farmhouse too. He turned on your favorite movie. He loved you. He adored you. And not a single part of you deserved him. You fell to your knees and started crying again. You bawled like a baby in front of your husband. You didn’t want him to see you like this. Especially after yesterday… 

Shane rushed in to help you. He kneeled around you and hugged you in a position where you could see him. He brushed your cheek with his rough hand. 

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Shane’s voice was soft. 

“No, it won’t. You need to be with someone better…” you mumbled to him whilst blubbering.

“Woah- that’s not the farmer I married. You are the best person for me. You’ve helped me grow in ways that no one else could have.” 

“But I wanted to relapse today, and I-”

“You were having a shit day and you didn’t tell me?” Shane didn’t look angry. He looked hurt, but he put it away for a later conversation. 

“You had a shit day yesterday and-” “That was yesterday. Recovery is on a day-by-day basis. We need to keep each other in check. I want you to tell me-” “But I don’t want to hurt you more…”

“I love you Y/N. You can’t hurt me more. I just want you to feel good with me.” He kissed your cheek and tightened his embrace. You sniffled for a couple more minutes but finally calmed down.

“I’m sorry.”

“We can talk about better communication with our counselor later, but for right now, let’s eat.”

“I love you, Shane.” 

“I love you more than you could possibly know Y/N”

[plexivie]

for me?

"cmon get your ass up now."

Today you're training with Bakugou. And surprisingly, he is a great sparring partner. He always pushes you to do better and makes sure you are not slacking off.

He is pretty cute too. You've always had a tiny deniable crush on him. He's almost perfect. His hair, his eyes, his strength. It's amazing. But you knew he would never like you. You were... average. You weren't as pretty as some of the other girls, not as strong. But, over the years, you kind have gotten used to it. Others being better than you doesn't affect you anymore. That's why training with Bakugou isn't bad at all.

"c'mon idiot. I don't have time for you being lazy as hell."

You did as he said and got up into a fighting stance. Your quirk wasn't the strongest, but hey, you got into UA.

You two were practicing behind the UA dorms. It was a quiet, empty place back there.

You guys were fighting, hard. He was blowing explosions every chance he got. It was all going well until you fell... 30 feet to the ground.

You've never screamed so loud in your life. Before you could reach the ground, you passed out.

"shit"

Bakugou ran to catch you. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he let you get hurt like that. Luckily, he caught you, but when he saw you were passed out, he was scared.

"tsk idiot."

He carried you to Recovery Girls office, just to fix any injuries that may have happened. He waited forever for you to wake up. The quirk made you sleep for too damn long. But once he saw your eyes fluttering the tiniest bit, he was there waiting for you.

You groaned. You had the WORST headache. You felt like everything was spinning, until you saw him. He made everything feel more, calm.

"shit are you okay?"

You never expected him to want to know if you were okay.

"yea I think so."

He let out a breath of relief.

"good, I wouldn't know what I would have done with myself if I let you get hurt."

He looked away.

"thanks"

You were so happy how sweet he was being. You've never seen him like this before with.... anyone.

"be... safer next time, got it?"

You nodded.

"why do you care about my safety so much anyways?"

You were expecting a snarky answer but no, you got

"because I like you idiot."

You were never so surprised in your life. Me? Why would he like me? I'm nothing special.

"me? why?"

He looked annoyed by this.

"what do you mean why. there's nothing not to like about you. I like how you give me a challenge. especially when training. that shit... makes me happy or whatever."

He blushed a bit, and so did you.

"you really think that about me?"

He just nods. Maybe out of embarrassment.

"yea idiot"

You smile and look away. I don't know what made you say this but

"I like you too. like a lot. I just didn't think you ever like me back."

He scoffed.

"I don't know why but whatever. anyway, let's go. I've been sitting in this shitty office for hours waiting for your ass to wake up, so c'mon."

You got up a little dizzy, but you could manage.

"let me... hold your hand or whatever. I don't want you to hurt yourself again."

You've never smiled more in your life. His hands were so warm and comforting.

You guys had already started walking back. While you guys were walking you could tell he had something to say.

"hey, you look like you have something on your mind."

He just looks away.

"Yea I guess."

"well, what is it?"

He just stops walking and turns to you. He doesn't say anything to you at all he just... kisses you. The walk back was silent until you reached your dorm door.

"hey I was wondering if you would want to come hike with me tomorrow or whatever."

You nodded happily smiling.

"great."

He then started walking away again until he stopped and turned around to face you.

"stay safe for me ok?"

You smiled happy as ever.

This was a fun write. Let me know if any of you want more! (pls repost for me <3)

[lovemyromance]

I feel like something Gwynriel’s don’t understand that a lot of long time (and some recent) SJM fans understand is fandom spaces and coexisting, they also lack being able to understand something I, as an avid consumer of various contents and media with traumatized characters (because that’s a commonly used plot device for backstories or to drive the plot forward) is that a lot of content creators like authors make the trauma a character experienced vague unless their recovery is meant to be the plot like with Nesta- so characters like Lucien, Rhys and Gwyn all have a trauma and it’s left vague on how they recovered so you the consumer can see your experience and your recovery in them otherwise it leaves the content creator open to criticism from a sect of their audience who experienced that sensitive topic- which they wouldn’t do if they themselves haven’t experienced it. Now, Gwynriels completely disregarding Gwyn’s trauma is outrightly wrong, their ideas of her and Az take a trauma survivor and forces her into intense sexual situations, sometimes extremely intense sexual situations with someone she doesn’t have a relationship or chemistry with. They also don’t understand Elriel’s analyzing Gwyn as a lightsinger and/or her friendship with Nesta and Emerie isn’t hate, it’s analyzing the text of a story- personally I can’t stand Gwyn and hope the three of them get lives outside of each other like they deserve but Gwynriel’s can’t fathom the phrase “two things can exists at the same time” Gwyn can be a traumatic SA survivor and an annoying person (to people in the fandom)- i’ve never seen an Elriel criticize or hate Gwyn because of her trauma, just that they don’t like personality or her relationship with Nesta and Emerie or that she seems self serving, Gwynriel’s need to understand their ~little nymph priestess who can do no wrong with her pliant bones and singing~ can be both a trauma survivor and an annoying person/shitty friend. They don’t cancel each other out and personally i’m worried this will get worse if Gwyn is a lightsinger in the next book because of the lack of understanding that Gwyn can be multifaceted, like previously stated- a trauma survivor and an annoying self centered person (in my opinion) I also loved the theory that Elriel is similar to Orpheus and Eurydice which supports Gwyn being a lgbtisnger because Eurydice was lured into the woods by a Nymph (Elain hasn’t met Gwyn and seems to be aware of Gwyn’s powers- the headache powder and earplugs) where Eurydice was bitten by a snake and taken to the Underworld and brought back by Orpheus, but Cauldron forbid Gwynriel’s get reading comprehension and understand that an Orpheus and Eurydice retelling would be so fucking cute, like Feysand and Tamlin being a retelling of Hades and Persephone. (Sorry this was long, a lot of Elriel blogs I follow don’t have asks on, for a good reason, but i’ve been sitting on this for a while <3)

I also really don't understand the Gwyn fascination. Here's why, in 3 parts:

1. Gwyn is very much a background, minor character. Could she one day become a main character? Sure. But right now, I would not consider her a main character. I mean, I barely even consider Amren or Mor main characters anymore, and they're part of the IC.

2. SJM isn't going to write an entire book about a minor character's "healing journey" after SA trauma. She just doesn't do that.

3.SJM is an entertaining writer, but she's not very complex in her ideas and character building. All her characters have trauma, but it's often just vague and more of a check the box thing. Like maybe she just has a character outline template like:

Character Name:

Gender:

Goal:

Trauma/Harrowing backstory: ✅

Genuinely, she uses trauma like people use sad backstories on americas got talent or something to get the golden buzzer 😭😭

I think honestly her most complex character was Nesta, and she did a great job with showing her trauma (which wasn't just vague SA but a combination of things, which made it more realistic). Even if I wasn't a fan of how Nesta's story ended with her giving up her powers, I understood why SJM wrote it that way.

But Nesta was a main character. It made sense her trauma was explored more and her healing journey was a focus.

Gwyn is literally not a main character. She is Nesta's friend. Like Emerie is also Nesta's friend. Emerie arguably also has a lot of trauma, but I don't have high hopes that SJM will explore that Illyrian backwards society either. It's all just a means to an end to her. She's not out here writing a healing journey for every faerie in Prythian.

People are always quick to vilify Elriels for saying Gwyn isn't a main character, and acting like we're blaming it on her trauma. Or acting like we think Gwyn is a threat to Elriel 🤡 They're out here claiming to everyone that "Gwyn is going to get a story! Her story isn't over yet!"

I'm sure we'll see her in some capacity in the remaining series, but I doubt she's going to get an entire book focusing on her "healing" (whatever the fuck that means). SJM isn't going to write an entire book about a minor character's healing from SA. Like I'm sorry, but literally every other character in her books has some sort of SA/abuse in general type trauma.

People have literally just latched onto Gwyn because she's pretty, determined, nice, and juuuuuust vague enough that they can use her as a self insert.

She's not a main character right now. And we can sit here and argue that "Oh she might be soon!" but then we could do that for everything.

I could say Koschei is Azriel's mate and people can argue saying that's ridiculous and I can just counter with "Oh maybe not right now but there's definitely some foreshadowing that they might be mates someday."

I'm not wasting time having discussions about what is not in the books currently.

[teklarn]

hi, this is my first ever ask so I'm not sure I'm doing this correctly, if that's the case I'm sorry; I don't know how tumblr works just yet >:')

would it be possible for you to write something about bakugo, pining incredibly hard for fem!reader and initially hating how strongly he feels about her? because they're not even friends, they only exchange few words occasionally and she doesn't even glance at his way whereas he slowly finds himself unable to divert his eyes from her during classes? shes always with damn deku and his friends and doesn't even seem interested in him at all but his heart can't ignore the way she looks at him proudly whenever they spar together, the way she sends him small confident smiles as they fight each other with all they have; so he thinks that maybe, maybe he might have a chance. basically bakugo liking reader so much he's completely lost in self-hatred because he always thought feelings were for weak romantics and not great people like him, but everytime he sees reader doing some badass things (again, like sparring with him and basically matching his skills etc...) he's reminded of how badly he likes reader? but when he finally accepts he's fallen for reader, after ignoring and trying to forget about how she makes him feel, he masters up the courage to confess? and it's a very clumsy confession because he's awkward and has no idea how to deal with those feelings? and he tries so hard to make reader realise he's never been more serious than now? and reader is startled and speechless before rejecting him? and at that point he's just completely humiliated, so he nods and walks away.

it might be a little dramatic but I've always been into unrequited love and one-sided pining. thank you, its okay if you don't want to write about this, i'll understand <33

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader (my hero academia) 

reblogs are greatly appreciated! 

a/n: AHHHHH this is so cute <33 honestly this is super exciting for me and this ask made me so happy, lovey. i’m fairly new to tumblr, i’m usually just a reader but i wanted to migrate here from wattpad so this made me so happy. here u are my love <33 i hope this lives up to what u wanted !! :)) a bit lengthy, but i had a lot of fun writing it !!! 

summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 

genre: fluffy, fluffier than the clouds istg, however the clouds are sprinking a little teeny weeny droplet of angst. 

warnings: cursing (bakugou, duhh), one-sided pining (on bakugou’s part) second hand embarrassment (on bakugou’s part bc we can all agree he’s a complete idiot when it comes to trying to get someone’s attention), just bakugou being a jackass, i gave the reader a quirk 

word count: 3,859 

(pls excuse any typos or mistakes, i edited to the best of my ability but i miss some things sometimes !) 

- - - 

part 2 is here my loves <3

brutal. it was utterly ruthless. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think right. his hands were already exceptionally sweaty, but gosh when he saw your damn face, he was ready to explode. literally. 

what the hell was it about you? was it your stupid smile? or the way you just seemed to carry every battle on your back? was it all the undeniably sweet things you do for others ‘just because’? 

it made him angry that he thought about you, but gosh he couldn’t wait to see you every day. 

just like any other day, bakugou found himself staring at the large door to the classroom, awaiting the moment you would bounce into his day, skirt shifting around your legs, bag slung loosely around your shoulders. 

his leg was bouncing eagerly. 

bakugou didn’t know when the feelings came. his cheeks just started flaring up all of a sudden and one day you just looked...different. you hadn’t done anything different to yourself. it was just him. not that he would ever admit that, to you or anybody else. 

you were insufferable. you were stupid and obnoxious and so...so damn... 

“y/n! come look at this!” 

you’d come walking into class just as expected, and as soon as you did, that stupid nerd had called you over. 

it didn’t help that deku sat right behind him, either. the two of you had recently gotten closer. bakugou noticed it last month when he yelled at the two of you to shut up about all might and get to work. he’d turned around to find you leaning over deku, hands resting on his shoulders while you peered at his phone. 

“sorry, bakugou,” you’d said, barely acknowledging him. you had waved him off like an annoying fly. is that all you were to him? some nuisance that got in the way of your oh-so-entertaining conversations with deku? 

all he heard nearly every day was your chipper voice talking to deku. always, “oh my gosh, midoriya, did you see the fight edgeshot was in last night?” or “midoriya! i have something to add to our quirk analysis book!” 

that was the one that took the cake. you two dorks shared a notebook, occasionally passed between one another, and filled it with junk about quirks and pro heroes. but no matter how much he tried to tune you out, no matter how he tried to zone off and think about something else, you were always there. it made him want to vomit how much he thought about you. 

you were doing an adorable shuffle over to midoriya’s desk and leaned over the table as you usually did while he angled his phone your way. “did you see this hero report?” 

deku let you slip the phone out of his grasp to get a better look. 

“no,” you breathed. “was this just recent?” 

“yeah,” deku said, taking the phone back. “last night.” 

“holy—” 

“can you guys shut up over there?” bakugou said, his voice quaking. 

“sorry, kacchan.” deku scrolled through the article. 

dammit, bakugou thought. “i wasn’t talking to you, nerd. i was talking to shitface over here.” he jerked his head towards you. his eyes flared in anger when he saw you were looking down at your phone, now focused in on the article yourself. “i was talking to you, asshat!” 

your eyes flicked up to his. you looked around for a moment before slowly pointing to yourself as if to say, “me?” 

his face scrunched. “yeah, you. you’re so damn loud.” gosh, he hated how his voice was cracking, how he could feel his ears and cheeks lighting up in a swollen, cherry red. his stomach flipped. 

she’s looking at you, gosh i’m sweating. i’m going to throw up. she’s so gorgeous. what the hell? they’re ugly as shit, i don’t think anything of them. 

his eyes bore into yours. 

“did you...need something?” 

your voice broke his trance. 

“kacchan, are you okay? you dozed off there for a second. you look like you’re burning up.” 

bakugou looked to deku who was currently stretching out of his seat, arm extended. he pressed the back of his hand to bakugou’s forehead. “you’re really warm, kacchan. should we call recovery girl?” 

it took him a moment to realize what was happening. his vision got blurry every time he was with you. bakugou smacked deku’s hand away. “i’m fine!” his voice lifted at the end, cracking. “i’m not sick. don’t you think i’d take better care of myself?” 

“i don’t doubt you take good care of yourself, kacchan, but everyone gets sick once in a while. there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“i never get sick!” besides, if i got sick, i wouldn’t want you to be the one taking care of me. 

he was still pissed. he was always in a bad mood, however, more so right now because you’d gone straight back to your phone and that stupid hero article that was supposedly so damn interesting. 

soon enough, the bell rang, and you were seated at your desk. it was jirou’s old spot, however, after much convincing, you two had switched spots so you could be closer to deku. just a few months of getting close to the idiot and you two are suddenly best friends. jirou hadn’t minded one tiny bit, claiming she needed a break from how loud that section of the room was. 

late as always, aizawa came trudging into your room. thankfully, his entire body wasn’t obscured by a yellow sleeping bag that smelled of something unwashed and coffee and gasoline. (for some reason, aizawa’s clothes always smelled of it.) 

“lucky for you,” he began while shuffling papers on his desk, “all of you are doing training for these first periods.”

the class cheered in perfect unison, followed by their individual chatter. you had erupted with glee along with them, and bakugou was sure he felt his heart clench and then explode. just a tiny bit. but he shoved the feeling down just as quickly as it had come up. 

“go out to the field and wait for further instructions. don’t make a sound in the halls otherwise, i’ll expel all of you.” 

this shut everyone up in almost a second, the sound draining out just as water does. the first years trailed out into the hall, single-file mimicking the positions baby ducklings would take when following their mother. 

bakugou found himself walking faster when he saw you take up your spot in the line, hoping to land his spot right behind you. 

unfortunately, this idiot who considered himself bakugou’s friend tugged him back. “bakugou!” a familiar voice rasped. 

“shitty hair, let go of me.” 

“hey man, chill out. wanna partner up if we’re doing training in pairs?” 

bakugou glanced at the line, the spot that should have been reserved for him now taken up by sato. 

bakugou tugged his sleeve from kirishima’s hand. “whatever,” he snapped. 

“sounds good!” kirishima flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. the bubbly feeling in bakugou’s chest died down as he stood behind sato, the overwhelming scent of sugar filling his nose, various candies that would go straight to your arteries. 

“you smell like ass, damn,” bakugou remarked, squeezing his nostrils together. 

luckily, sato was tall enough to not hear the insult, as he towered over bakugou by just another head. the line began moving like a sloppy train down to the change rooms. 

bakugou scoffed as he listened to your giggle. he should be making you laugh. 

- 

“you’ll be given partners randomly from this box.” aizawa held up a familiar red box. “inside are all your names. i’ll select one, then that person will come up and pick another name from the box. that will be your assigned partner for today. as soon as you have your assigned partner, i want you guys to get straight to work.” 

denki raised a hand, speaking before being called on. “sensei, why are we getting random partners? we’re always allowed to choose.” 

“in the real world, you’re going to come across different villains every day. you’ll never improve your skills or your quirks if you keep fighting the same person.” 

denki sighed, slumping back. 

dammit, bakugou thought, gritting his teeth together. there wasn’t any way he wanted to be partners with you. it’s obvious he’d win the fight in the first few seconds. 

yes! exactly right! bakugou internally grinned. his fluctuating feelings had finally soothed themselves. you were just another extra, and he had no room for you in his head. 

aizawa took a moment to fiddle with the slips of paper inside the box. soon enough, he pulled out a name. “todoroki.” 

todoroki walked up, digging his hand into the box when aizawa held it out for him. he pulled out a name, delicately unraveling the slip. “uraraka, you’re my partner.” he deadpanned. 

the brunette grinned. “great!” 

the two found their own spot on the field, and the class’s attention was once again diverted to their grouchy teacher as he pulled out another name. 

“bakugou.” 

bakugou strutted up without a worry in his mind. he pulled a name to find... 

“y/n,” he said, voice a low growl. instead of the annoying fluttering in his chest, his eyes met yours, and they were filled with a different, new ferocity. he crumpled the paper in one hand, letting it twirl to the ground. 

you looked at him, unsmiling. your eyes gave away nothing, and to bakugou’s knowledge, all you saw in him was another opponent. 

it took him a moment to realize you had both locked eyes for about a minute. perhaps the two of you would have stayed as you were if aizawa hadn’t snapped at the two of you to get moving as yaomomo’s name was called. 

bakugou was on his way to the back of the field, you followed close behind. while there was plenty of room still, he chose a secluded area. while it was still open enough to view everything going on so nobody got hurt, it was often nobody chose to train here. for whatever reason, you weren’t sure. 

“wait up, bakugou,” you said. after a bit, you caught up to him. 

“if you can’t keep up, then...” then what? he looked at you from the side of his eye. “then don’t keep up...” gosh, here came the embarrassing, disgusting feeling of redness in his cheeks. 

you laughed. “what?” 

“shut up.” 

“you’re an idiot, bakugou.” 

“i said shut the hell up!”

“what, so you can call me shitface in front of the entire class but you get all pissed when i call you an idiot?” 

so you had heard him! 

he tongued his cheek, curling his hands around an invisible ball, explosions sparking in the centers of his palms. “don’t expect me to hold back, dumbass.” 

“i wouldn’t dream of it.” 

gosh he loved that about you. 

bakugou caught his thought in the air. 

ahem...gosh he hated that about you. 

you both charged in at the same time. his cry was louder than yours, but you struck first. 

he admired your quirk. while he’d overhead you explaining all the drawbacks it had, it was strong, and you were strong because you knew how to control it. 

purple arrows flew from your arms, going in your desired directions. if you lost focus for one moment, they’d vanish and weaken. if you focused too hard or long, you’d be plagued by a splitting headache. 

he’d spent too much time obsessing over your strengths and weaknesses.  

your arrows were weightless, however they were solid objects capable of carrying any mass, any thing, and worked as extensions of your body. 

the violet arrow had shot out at him, twisting around his right gauntlet and crushing inwards. it’d snaked around him without him noticing, slithering along his back. 

bakugou struggled to get the air-light arrow off his wrist, but it was no use. he glared back, only to see your focused, furrowed brows. he’d expected to see your cocky ass smiling. it was nice to see you weren’t. 

that was one thing that had also caught his eye. you never underestimate your opponent, but you never underestimate yourself, either. 

you conjured a larger arrow. it snaked around your right arm as you hurled bakugou into the air, releasing your grasp on him. you shot your other arrow into the air, and it raced into the sky. 

it swerved. bakugou’s eyes went wide as the tip of the arrow came down on his chest. if they weren’t intangible things, he would have been bleeding out. 

another drawback: the arrows, while they could solidify, they couldn’t do any actual damage. you had to use your surroundings to inflict harm on your opponent. 

he coughed out as the arrow shot him into the ground. he hadn’t even touched you, and here he was, vulnerable and so...so... 

you stood over him, hands on your hips. 

vulnerable and so lost in that adorable, winning smile. 

“get away from me, idiot,” he grunted and turned onto his side, his back crying out in pain. 

“i think i won this fight, bakugou,” you chirped, rocking on your heels. 

“don’t get arrogant, shithead. you won’t be winning against me anymore.” 

you grinned, arrows shooting out behind your back. 

- 

the dorms were exceptionally quiet. you were typing away in the common room, bakugou on the couch reading. everyone was off doing something else. it was the weekend, luckily. he’d expected you to go bounding out with everyone else, however you’d stayed back, claiming you had some homework to catch up on. 

bakugou being classic bakugou had stayed back. he was excited to have the dorm to himself, but your dumbass was stuck here with him. couldn’t you have done your typing in your room? 

you were so aggressive on that poor keyboard. 

“oi, quiet down with your shit typing.” 

you barely grunted in response. 

“don’t ignore me.” 

“i heard you, mom.” 

“the hell did you call me?” 

no response. only your aggressive typing is a bit less aggressive. 

“i can still hear it,” bakugou remarked, eyes fixed on your back. 

“‘kay,” you said. your typing slowed a tad, and your pressure on the keys lessened. 

it was quiet now. bakugou should go back to his book. he shouldn’t still be looking for a reason to talk to you. 

the pages crinkled in his fingers. he bit his tongue, keeping his snarky comments in. 

“you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? doing your damn homework. it’s due tomorrow.” 

you turned, pursing your lips. “and how would you know what i’m working on? are you stalking me?” 

“i- what? no. you’re such an idiot, of course i’m not—” 

“i’m messing with you,” you breathed, face un-moving. 

“o-oh,” bakugou stuttered out. he blinked awkwardly. 

“gosh, what’s gotten your panties in a twist?” 

“you’re annoying.” 

“you’re a jackass.” you returned to your work. bakugou settled with reading in his room. reading consisted of jumping onto his bed just as the stereotypical high school girl would in an eighties movie. he buried his face in his pillow, face burning bright red. he cursed you for making him feel this way, and hated himself even more for how much he enjoyed it. 

- 

the next day came swiftly. you’d left early to go train with midoriya. there were many improvements needed to be made, but you weren’t doing too bad.

you propelled yourself forwards with an arrow, and your green-haired friend shot back, lightning flickering around his body. 

landing back on the ground, you panted and swiped the sweat from your brow. from the corner of your eye, you could make out both kirishima and bakugou coming to the training grounds. 

bakugou stopped in his tracks, frowning at the sight of you. 

it was evident he hated you a bit more than everyone else. he was always making his annoying comments, he was always snubbing you. you saw no reason to talk to him, so you didn’t. either way, even if you tried, he would still get angry for no reason. 

it’d taken you quite some time to get used to his obnoxious attitude. tuning him out had been the best course of action, in your opinion. 

the way you and midoriya had bonded was through bakugou, in a way. the first day of school, bakugou had snapped at you for tripping over your laces and nearly crashing into him. later that day, midoriya had stepped up and apologized for his old friend’s actions. 

you two had never been too close until now. the recent incidents going on with the league of villains had snagged your attention, and it seemed you were the only person who didn’t mind listening to him ramble on about heroes. 

you were just as passionate and just as dorky, but midoriya could talk your ear off. you never minded, and he always took the hint when you didn’t want to listen. 

you brought your leg up, twirling in the air with ease and watched your heel collide with midoriya’s face. he grunted, stumbling back. 

you were about to charge in again when a hand landed on your shoulder, big and rough. you turned to see bakugou standing behind you, a scowl on his face. 

“fight me again,” he demanded. 

“excuse me?” 

“don’t act like you didn’t hear me.” 

“i’m in the middle of fighting midoriya right now.” 

“so?”

“so if you think that i’m just going to ditch my friend because you want to fight, i won’t.” 

“you’re being stubborn.” 

“i’m being reasonable. back off.” 

“y/n?” midoriya rubbed his jaw—right where you had struck him. “what’s going on?” he jogged up to you and bakugou. 

“he wants to fight me in the middle of our fight. it’s nothing serious. don’t worry about it, midoriya. let’s just ignore him.” 

bakugou made a sound someone would only make if they were choking. “the hell did you just say?” 

“we’re ignoring you!” you waved him off and placed your hand on midoriya’s shoulder, wandering away. 

-

it was new to him, not getting what he wanted. and what he wanted right now was to be around you. again, it wasn’t like he would ever admit that to himself. 

“dude? you good? i thought you went off to fight y/n. i was so ready to cheer you on, dude,” kirishima’s chipper voice piped in. “she’s not fighting with you? why not?” 

“the dumbass was just probably scared of getting her ass beat by me.” 

“dude...that sounds really weird.” 

“whatever, shitty hair. let’s go.” 

- 

the clock ticked. his ears were on fire. again. 

gosh, it was happening again. it was all you. his face scrunched up, his voice would surely crack if someone were to ask him what was wrong. 

bakugou was once again stuffing his face in his pillow, hiding his expression from no one. why did you have to go train with that shitty nerd? why were you always around deku? deku, of all people. what did he have? why was he so great? 

bakugou was a man of many insecurities, but losing to deku? that was possibly his biggest fear. 

perhaps he wasn’t the nicest, or the most soft person out there. bakugou could admit that, at least. but he was smarter than deku. he was stronger and he was better and people liked him more. right? 

what was so...amazing about deku? 

it was often bakugou would find himself obsessing over little, insignificant things such as these. 

you were what he was thinking of most of the time. just yesterday, he’d gotten a test returned. he was expecting an eighty at the lowest, but more so expecting a high ninety. it’d come back exactly sixty percent. 

sixty. percent.

bakugou vividly remembered staring at your face. he also remembered not being able to focus because of it. his grades were dropping because of you. 

you were the only person to be able to do this to him. 

his heart grew quiet, but the pounding of his didn’t cease. he lifted his head. 

“alright, fine,” he said aloud. “you win, y/n. you win.” 

he settled with getting over his feelings the way he’d read them in his collection of romance manga. 

bakugou left his room and knocked on your door. (he was banging on it, but it was his nice way of knocking.) 

you answered, looking around awkwardly. “yes?” 

his hands shook. how was this supposed to go? sure, he’d seen it in romance movies and read it in books but it was always easy to tell whether the guy would get the girl or not. 

in this instance, bakugou was clueless. for once in his life, he was clueless. you stood, tapping your foot with a hand on your hip, waiting expectantly for him to tell you why he was here. 

“um.” he scratched behind his neck. “you uh- i uh...i’m sorry i called you a, um...a shitface.” 

“okay? is that it?” 

what? come on! it was already unlike him to apologize. what else did you want from him? 

“did you...i’ve been thinking, maybe? maybe we could..train together as...friends?”  

“...what?” 

gosh dammit, as friends? 

“whatever, um...the uh...” oh gosh, what did the boys do in all the books he’d read? right! bakugou stretched out his arm, resting his forearm on the door, leaning to the side. 

although he didn’t, really, because like the clumsy jackass he was, bakugou missed completely and nearly toppled to the floor. 

this earned a snicker from you. 

his stomach flipped and churned, and bakugou found himself unable to reach your eyes. “uh, would you maybe..? okay, um. do you want to go on a date with me? you absolute fucking dumbass.” 

your eyes flew wide. “...what?” 

“no, that’s not what i— i mean i didn’t mean the last part. um, i meant the first part. the first two parts. the part where i was asking you if you wanted to go on a date with me and then before that when i said maybe because it’s still a maybe until you say yes. or...or no because that’s an option too.” 

he swallowed. 

you resisted the urge to mock him, just a little bit. “um, bakugou, listen.” 

he leaned closer. “yes?” 

“it’s going to be a no. i’m sorry, but i’m just not interested in you like that.” 

it took him a moment to register everything. his shoulders sagged. gosh that was brutal. 

“oh, alright.” 

“yeah, uh, sorry about that.” you offered him a weak smile, still a bit shocked yourself. he did his best to return it, and when you closed the door, his face was ready to explode. 

it was so damn difficult to deal with these feelings, but maybe it was better this way. knowing where you stood on your end, he knew he wouldn’t miss out on anything. 

perhaps it was alright to admire from afar. things could happen in the future, right? 

right now, he’d just wait. for a long, long time. bakugou pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. maybe it was alright to not have you right now. perhaps he could better himself for you. just for you. 

[darthkruge]

Anakin taking care of you while you’re sick 👉👈

Anakin Skywalker x Sick!Reader Headcanons

Warnings: Sickness, mentions of vomiting but nothing detailed

Words: 1.5k

A/N: Anon, I hope you feel better if you’re sick!! Also so many of my friends aren’t feeling well, either! I know @beskar-tano and @artiza-n have been feeling shitty and @buckysbeloved and @anakinlove were feeling a little worse for wear, too, if I remember correctly. Wishing all of y’all (+ anyone else who might be feeling under the weather) fast recoveries!! 

gif credit

Let me start this off by saying that Anakin does not get grossed out. He’s surrounded by dying soldiers everyday and when they’re deep on missions? Safe to say they don’t always have access to a nice refresher. So if you ever try and say you’re disgusting or he can’t see you because you feel too gross, he’s having none of that.

First, he reassures you that you’re beautiful. And it’s true, too. You could literally be on death’s door and Anakin would still think you’re the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen. And second, he’s just completely unphased. 

He will literally stay by your side the entire time until you feel better and then for at least a good 48 hours afterward, wanting to make sure you’re back to your normal self. 

The only time he’d leave is if you asked him to. He knows that sometimes you just feel really shitty and need to be alone. Most of all, he wants you to be comfortable. But if you do ask him to leave, he keeps close. He won’t go on missions and keeps his commlink on him at all times, just in case you need anything. And if he doesn’t hear from you in a while, he checks in to make sure you’re okay.

If you’re just being stubborn and/or it’s difficult for you to accept help even though you desperately want it, he can see through that. He knows you so well, he can tell if you actually want space or if you just don’t know how to ask for his comfort. And if it’s the latter, he gives you really easy outs. He’ll put it on him, saying “I’d feel a lot better if I was here, my love. I want to make sure you’re okay, is that alright?” 

If you have a favorite piece of his clothing, he lets you wear it. This is not just when you’re sick, either. But if you’re not feeling great, he makes extra sure to wash it if it's not already clean and brings it over so you can have it. 

Anakin gets nervous when you’re sick; he feels helpless and you’re normally so strong and now you’re weak and in pain and there’s nothing he can do to make it go away. To compensate, he’s constantly doing stuff for you. It helps him keep busy and he feels like he’s helping you, so it’s a natural solution.

Will bring you absolutely anything you ask for. And if you say you’re fine and that you don’t need anything, he’ll probably still bring you stuff. He makes sure you’re always stocked up with tissues, food, water, medicine, blankets, etc. 

I headcanon Anakin as a good cook, at least with a few core recipes. One of the recipes he made sure to memorize is a really good soup. He asked you what your favorite one was one time randomly after you’d been dating for about a month because he wanted to file it away in his brain for whenever you’re sick. And now as soon as you give even one cough or sniffle, you better believe he’ll make it for you. 

He basically babies you the entire time. You’re not lifting a finger until the sickness goes away. He’ll bring stuff to you or, if you’re cuddling with him, he floats it over with the Force. And if you absolutely need to go somewhere, he carries you. 

He’ll rub your back or anywhere else you might be feeling achy. I’ve talked about it before and I shall reiterate: Anakin is amazing at massages. He uses his warm, flesh hand first to start to work into your muscles, getting them ready before using his metal hand to apply a bit more pressure and work out the knots. 

If you’re throwing up, he’s in the refresher with you. He rubs your back and pulls your hair out of your face, giving you soft encouragement the whole time. “Get it out, it’s alright. You’re gonna be just fine, you’ll feel better afterward, okay? You just need to get it out of your system, love.” It’s quite soothing, especially if you’re the kind of person who hates vomiting. 

Afterward, he knows that you might be feeling really clammy and weak. If you want, he’ll gently wash your skin to get the sweat off. He’ll let you lean into him as you brush your teeth or, honestly, he’s fine doing that for you, too. 

Anakin will wait with you on the cold, tile floor for as long as you need. As soon as you feel okay enough to move or you fall asleep, he scoops you into his arms and carries you back to bed.

And if you’re throwing up at night or just overall feeling too sick to sleep, he stays up with you. He’s not going to let you be alone. 

He’ll also tell you stories or just talk to you about whatever comes to mind to distract you. He doesn’t want you to spend all day just thinking about how horrible you feel so he tries to take your mind off it and entertain you whenever possible.

Once, when Anakin was making you some food in the kitchen, you decided to try and get up and go to the refresher alone. You made it a few steps before you were hit with an overwhelming wave of dizziness and lightheadedness and just quietly called Anakin’s name, unsure if he would even hear you. It was practically a reflex. But he did and he ran over immediately, bracing you against him to steady yourself as he called a chair over to him with the Force, firmly sitting you down. 

He was so terrified when he saw your face draining of color and your body begin to crumple to the floor, he just hugged you and kissed the top of your head. He asked, “Why did you do that?! What would have happened if I didn’t hear you?!” 

“I just… you’ve done so much for me and you were already making me food and I don’t know I thought I could do it…” You answer lamely, tears pricking in your eyes as you realize not only how flawed your logic is, but also that you made him worry.

Anakin notices and quickly hushes you. “It’s okay, I’m not mad. Just scared me, that’s all. But angel we’ve talked about this! I want to help you, I like that. And besides, if you’d fallen and cracked your head open you’d need a lot more help than a ride to the refresher, huh?” 

You just nod against him and pull him closer to you. Because you’re sitting, he normally stands between your thighs and you hug his waist, pressing your face into his middle. He’ll hunch over a bit, rubbing up and down your back and your arms while pressing kisses to the top of your head. 

If your throat is sore and it hurts to talk, you’re not talking. Anakin actually has a little fun with this one. Don’t get me wrong, he hates that you’re in pain, but he likes to tease you a bit. He’ll be like “Y/N, do you think I should swap Obi-Wan’s face wash with shampoo?” and you’re shaking your head but he just says “Oh, I guess I can’t hear any objections...” 

But then you’ll croak out a “Anakin, no!” And he’s immediately “Shh! Don’t talk, you'll hurt your vocal chords!! I wouldn’t have done it anyway!! Stop talking!! Not until you feel better!!” 

If you have a headache, he’ll let you rest your head in his lap. He uses the Force to close the blinds and turn off the lights and makes sure to talk in an extra quiet tone. He’s calmly petting your hair with his flesh hand while massaging your scalp with the metal one. He’ll also massage your temples, doing so until you feel enough relief to sleep. 

He also constantly brings you cold compresses for your forehead, especially if you’re feverish. He gets you to lay down in bed and then he’ll sit beside you, one hand holding the compress to you and the other gently tracing patterns on your skin. 

Sometimes, you’re sick and emotional and the pain is really overwhelming. He gets this and if crying is going to help you, he wants you to. He’ll hold you in his arms, still, not wanting to worsen any of the symptoms by rocking you. And he’s so encouraging.

“Let it out, my love. There you go, it’s okay. I know it hurts, I know,” He’ll coo, “Baby I know, I’m so sorry. I’ve got you, you can cry, it’s okay.” 

And once you’re done he continues to hold you, cuddling you for the rest of the day.

Also, Anakin will literally hold and kiss you the entire time. Mans is not worried about catching anything from you. And if you ever say “No, Ani, you’ll get sick!!” He just “no I won’t” 

But, if you’re really serious, he’ll refrain from kissing your lips. That’s okay, though! More forehead and top of the head kisses for you <3

He’s just really accommodating and kind. He hates seeing you sick and in pain and just wants to shower you with love and care and affection until it goes away.

-----

the link to join my taglist is in my pinned! if you would like to be taken off, dm me!

permanent tags:

@saltybreaddream @buckysbeloved @lolquarth @sodaoverstars @artiza-n @poesflygirl

anakin tags:

@anakinswhore @kennedywxlsh @coldlilheart @adamgetawaydriver @chokemeanakin @gayidioot @starwars-whore @katelynnwrites @haydens-moles @serpntines @anakinlove @rowley-with-ackerman @dexthtoyounglings @babykinskywalker @cluelessgurl @april-showers-and-flowers @ungodiys @beiroviski @captainshazamerica @alyssa-skywalker @mystic-writings @thejediuniverse @anakinravageme @cafeoiogy @dracowars @idkyouu1800c3  @luminara123

[combat-wombatus]

YEAHHH YOU KNOW IM HERE!!! BC I LOVE YOU COCO!!

okayy so for my request 👉🏽👈🏽

can i get bakugo x f!reader and prompts: 14. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” + 24. “Would you mind if I kissed you?”

okay i love you!! 🥺🥺 thank you for doing this!

14: “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” 24: “Would you mind if I kissed you?” Character: Bakugou

ok so like...i may or may not have gone slightly overboard and turned this into a whole fic-

it’s like 2.2k words lakdjfhasjkdh enjoy-

thank u for requesting aves 🥺

“What? A party? I’m not fucking going.” Bakugou snarled. “Staying up past midnight is overrated. I need my sleep.”

“But Bakubro,” Kaminari whined. “We’re hosting! Mina planned it all, and she spent a lot of time doing it! You should at least go. You don’t have to stay up that late.”

“Tch. As if I care.” Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets and slumped forward even more. “Pinky can waste all the time she fucking wants to. I’m not going.”

“It’s our last year at UA! Come on,” Kirishima joined in. “You can leave early if you want to! It’ll be mostly in the dorms anyways. Mina did plan a scavenger hunt though, in Gym Gamma. She says that she planted “mementos” of our school experience. Isn’t that fun?”

“Fun my ass. It’s stupid, is what it is.” He glared at Kirishima. “Should’ve visited my parents. Even the old hag isn’t as loud as all of you extras in the dorms.”

“You say that like you didn’t blast a hole in the wall just last week,” Kaminari pointed out.

Kirishima winced. “Denki-”

“WELL WHOSE FUCKING IDEA WAS IT TO PRETEND THAT THEY WERE FUCKING KIDNAPPED?!?” Bakugou waved a fist wildly in Kaminari’s face.

“Fair point, fair point. You should’ve seen the look on your face though! (Y/N) thought you’d murder her!” Kaminari cackled.

“I’D NEVER FUCKING MURDER HER! ARE YOU INSANE??” Bakugou’s palms started crackling.

“Hey, chill bro, we know that.” Kirishima tried to calm him down.

Kaminari was not so lucky. “Why? You joke about murdering us all the time. What’s so different about her?”

Bakugou turned, a quick retort on the tip of his tongue, before he realized that Kaminari was, actually, right for once.

“She’s…she’s…” He stuttered.

Kaminari let out a hoot of laughter. “I knew it!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bakugou’s face turned beet red. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Suit yourself. We know the truth.” Kaminari patted Bakugou’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, Bakubro! (Y/L/N)-chan is going to be at the party too! Why don’t you confess to her there? That would be fun! And then Mina will forgive you for leaving early too!”

Bakugou’s left eye twitched. “There’s nothing to confess, Shitty Hair. And I don’t give a rat’s ass what Mina thinks.”

Kirishima and Kaminari looked at each other, then turned back to Bakugou.

“Sure,” Kirishima smirked. “Nothing at all.”

“Hey! (Y/N)!” Mina ran up to you. “You’re coming to the party, right?”

You turned to face her. “Sure am! Who isn’t? It’s in the dorms anyways so there’s not much of a point in not coming, right?”

Mina sighed. “Kiri and Kami are having a hard time convincing Bakugou to come. Something about his sleep schedule?”

You were a little disappointed, but it was to be expected. Bakugou didn’t participate much in team-building activities anyways. “Can’t relate. My sleep schedule has been fucked to high heaven.”

“Right? What a crappy excuse.” Mina rolled her eyes. “Anyways, Sero’s waiting for me in the gym to help set the scavenger hunt up. See ya later, yeah?”

“Sure! Do you want more help? I can help you guys set things up if you’d like,” you asked.

Mina leaned forward, smiling mischievously. “Nope! It’s all good! And besides, I want you to participate in the game, so you can’t help!”

You smiled. “Ah, okay. Well, I’ll see you later then!”

“See ya!” Mina winked and gave you a little wave.

“So, the rules of the game are simple: whichever team finds and touches our very own 3-A New Year’s Ball, together, wins!” Mina exclaimed from her place on the couch.

“What kind of shitty game is this?” Bakugou growled, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Mina pouted. “Hey! Sero and I spent a lot of time making this happen!”

“Yeah! They were amazing!” Ochaco jumped up too. “Stop being ungrateful!”

“Fine, whatever.” Bakugou crossed his arms. “Get on with it already. We don’t have all night.”

“Actually, we do! Not everyone here has the sleeping schedule of an old man,” Kaminari piped in.

“Shut up, Dunce Face. Nobody asked.” Bakugou scowled.

“Hey! Back to the regular program. You get to choose your own partners! Isn’t that exciting?” Mina waved her piece of paper around wildly. “Now get to it! You have three minutes!”

You looked around the room. You would’ve asked Mina, but she and Sero weren’t participating since they were the ones who hid it. They had also apparently hidden clues all over Gym Gamma as to where the location of the ball was.

“Ocha-” Oops. She’d already teamed up with Iida.

“Oi, Shitty Hair, come over here!” Bakugou yelled across the room. You sighed. Of course.

“Sorry Bakubro, I already have a partner…” Kirishima said rather sheepishly.

“…you WHAT?”

“Yeah…Momo here didn’t have a partner yet and…well…Mineta was hot on her trail,” Kirishima tried to explain as Momo breathed a sigh of relief.

“Shuckers!” Mineta faceplanted onto the couch. “I never get what I want”

“Hmph. Karma’s a bitch.” Jiro smirked from her position next to Kaminari.

“Dunce Face, you got a partner too?” Bakugou sighed, exasperated.

“Right next to me!” Kaminari pointed to Jiro with his thumb. You smiled in satisfaction. They were honestly adorable.

You turned to the rest of the room. Hagakure had already snagged Ojiro, Midoriya had, unsurprisingly, paired with Todoroki. Shoji and…Tsu? Koda had paired up with Sato, and…you snickered a little at the last pairing. Tokoyami had been bombarded with Aoyama’s relentless chatter. Which left…you and Bakugou.

Huh. That was weird. You swore that not everyone had a partner just a minute ago. And it was awfully strange that Tokoyami would choose to pair with Aoyama instead of you or even Bakugou, but…you supposed that he didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“So. (Y/N).” Bakugou cleared his throat. “Partners?”

“Uh…yeah,” you replied, fidgeting slightly with your hands.

“Ok! Everyone is paired up and ready to go?” Mina was practically bouncing.

“Yeah!” Most everyone chimed in unison.

“Let’s do it then! Sero, come on! Lead the way!” She jumped down from her place on the kitchen counter.

“What the fuck? Pinky and Tape Arms hung that thing all the way up there?” Bakugou swore.

“You can use your quirk to get up there though, right?” You looked at him, brows furrowed.

“Duh. But what about you?” He looked you up and down. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t fly.”

“Easy! I’ll just ride on your back!” You chirped. “Unless you can’t carry me?”

“Tch. As if. Get on.” He squatted down, letting you scamper onto his back. “Ready?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

You leaned into the crook of his neck, breath lightly fanning his face. “Ready,” you confirmed.

Cackling gleefully, Bakugou shot up into the sky, palms ablaze.

And as quickly as he flew, he was dropping to the ground even quicker.

“DAMMIT!” He glared daggers at the ice wall that had appeared over your heads. “Fucking Deku! And that IcyHot bastard!”

Spiraling, he tried his best to save the two of you from a hard impact on the ground, but he was only successful in twirling around in the air like a ballerina.

“Shit!” He tried to flip upside down in order to land on his feet, but the momentum was against him.

With an “oof”, the two of you landed in a pile on the (luckily) snow-covered ground.

“You alright there, idiot?” Bakugou said gruffly.

You groaned. You weren’t sure how, but you definitely sprained something with the way you landed. Ankle? Wrist? Perhaps both?

“Hey. Hey!” Bakugou climbed over the snowdrift to reach you. “Get up! The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Calm down, Bakugou!” You pushed his hand away. “It’s just a sprain,” you pointed to your ankle.

“Nothing else?” He seemed intent on picking you up, so you let him.

“Nope, everything’s fine,” you assured him.

“Sorry about that!” Midoriya called out from atop his perch on Todoroki’s newly-formed glacier. “We got a little carried away!”

Bakugou stilled. You winced. Midoriya was in for a rough time.

“Deku…” He ground out. “What the FUCK do you think you and IcyHot are doing?”

“I-I’m sorry! We didn’t mean to knock you down from the air!” Midoriya started gesturing nervously. “I-I swear it was an a-accident!”

Todoroki sighed. “It was an accident. Let it go, Bakugou. And (Y/N), we are very sorry for having injured you. Would you like for us to accompany you to Recovery Girl? The game is over now.”

“The fuck did you say, IcyHot? No fucking way. I’m taking her.” He stomped towards Recovery Girl’s office, you firmly nestled in his arms.

“Think we succeeded?” Todoroki turned to Midoriya. “They seem to be getting along fine.”

“I…I’m not sure. It’s not great that (Y/L/N)-chan had to get injured for this to work, but…Recovery Girl will fix her up fine and Kacchan might finally realize that he has feelings for her…”

“Hey guys! Great job!” Sero dangled Mina from a tree branch overhead. “Look at them go!”

“It’s all according to plan…” Mina clapped her hands together. “Now, we just have to wait for the clock to chime twelve…”

“Fucking assholes.” Bakugou hadn’t stopped muttering underneath his breath since you’d left.

You giggled. He was so angry over such a small thing. It wasn’t like the fall was intentional; you’d both just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Bakugou stopped walking and stared at you. “What?” He frowned at you. “Why are you laughing? Did you knock your fucking head on the way down too?”

You started full-on laughing this time. “No, Bakugou. It’s just…you’re so cute when you’re mad,” you tried to explain. “Your eyebrows scrunch up and you purse your lips and…”

By this point, Bakugou was a blushing mess. No one had ever called him “cute” when he was angry before.

After a while, he broke the silence. “So…I don’t scare you?”

You laid your head on his chest. “Not at all.”

“Tch. You should be scared of me, dumbass.” He turned your body so that you were facing him, shielding his tomato-hued face from your gaze.

“And why should I be?”

“Because…because…I’m Bakugou Katsuki, dammit!” He clenched his fists, bunching up your parka.

Snickering, you decided to tease him. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. I thought you were Midoriya Izuku for a second.”

“You WHAT?!?”

The two of you bantered playfully all the way to Recovery Girl’s office. She took one look at you and frowned.

“Tsk. I thought there wasn’t training today?” She rifled around for an ice pack.

“There wasn’t. We played a game and I just sprained my ankle.” You explained sheepishly. “And possibly my wrist.”

Recovery Girl tapped her cane on your knee and sighed heavily. “You guys don’t know how to take care of yourselves! Playing a game and getting injured?” She rubbed her temples. “The hospitals are going to have a field day with the lot of you once you become pros.”

“Sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful next time.” You held in a wince as she prodded your ankle.

“Minor sprains. I’m going to wrap those and give you some gummies. Take this ice pack with you when you go. Ice for 10, leave for 20, and repeat for 3 hours. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am!” You held out your wrist for her to bind.

“And don’t you go do anything else dangerous now, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear!” You hopped nimbly off the table, landing on one leg, and was promptly scooped up again by Bakugou.

“Hey! Let me down! I can walk!” You protested against his arms.

Bakugou turned to Recovery Girl. “Look at her. You really want her to walk?”

“As a matter of fact, I do not. Stay still, young lady, and let him carry you,” she admonished.

You slumped in defeat, and Bakugou carried you out of the room.

“Ahh…young love,” Recovery Girl stared wistfully at your fading silhouettes. “I remember…”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!!”

The class was situated in the common room, spread out over the numerous couches and munching on fresh cookies (courtesy of Momo and Sato).

And as the clock chimed 12, you looked to Bakugou, sitting right next to you.

“Can…can I…” You started nervously, fingers fidgeting with your ice pack.

“What? Spit it out,” Bakugou stared at you.

“Canikissyou?” You blurted out as fast as your tongue would let you.

He smirked. “What was that? I couldn’t understand you.”

You sighed. “Would…would you mind if I kissed you?”

Bakugou’s lips pulled into a wolfish grin. “All you had to do was ask, dumbass.”

Epilogue

“Do you think they caught on?” Mina whispered excitedly to Sero. “I wasn’t sure if they saw me leading Todoroki and Midoriya to the ball.”

“Nah, I think we’re fine. Besides, it’s not like he can complain. He got a girlfriend thanks to us, right?” Sero chuckled.

“Ok…if you say so…”

Suddenly, they heard a growl coming from the doorway to their left.

“Shit.”

“Run!!”

“I won’t let you bastards get away with this!!”

Coco’s New Year Celebration 20-21

Masterlist

[whumpmatsus]

⚙ (its supposed to be the gear symbol I'm mobile)

snez/illness/allergies/etc. meme!

⚙️: Do they have some kind of ritual that they do when they’re not feeling great that helps? Does it help physically, or does it just make them feel better emotionally?

all's good! I just did a lil thing for each of them since I wasn't sure if you wanted anyone specific <3

❤️ Osomatsu doesn't have anything specific, unless you count doing some gambling as a ritual. Well, more gambling than usual... which means he loses more money than usual. Oops. It does actually make him feel a little better emotionally, though as with most addicts, the high doesn't last for long. It mostly serves to take his mind off feeling shitty for long enough that he can have an hour or so of relief before the worst of it sets in.

💙 Karamatsu has a sort-of-almost-it's-kind-of-a-ritual for when he feels like he's coming down with something. He either makes tea or kayu and adds a healthy helping of umeboshi to it. Although it's largely just a 'sick day habit' as opposed to any real remedy, he swears by it, particularly for anything that causes a sore throat. It does soothe things a bit, but it's like 20% that and 80% for emotional comfort reasons.

💚 Choromatsu doesn't have a I'll-do-this-and-it'll-cure-me!! ritual as much as he has a routine for when he isn't feeling well. Usually after he's actually accepted that he's gonna be out of commission for a bit, whenever he's camped out on the couch, he watches a couple specific movies and reads specific books. Or, as much as he can between resting. It helps emotionally, that he can find solace in something familiar while he feels like crap.

💜 Ichimatsu just kind of does the same thing he might do any other day, and cuddles with his cats. That makes him feel better in general, so, why not, right? Though, depending on what kind of not feeling well it is, he has a collection of cat-themed first aid things he'll always use. An ice pack shaped like a cat that says meowch, cat-patterned bandages, that kind of thing. If he breaks that stuff out, it's kind of like a ritual when he's really not feeling well. It's half-and-half for physical recovery and emotionally feeling better.

💛 Jyushimatsu doesn't have a set ritual, except that he just clings to his brothers that much more when he starts to notice he isn't feeling great. He'll curl up with whoever seems most receptive to cuddling, usually Ichimatsu but not infrequently some of the others, and tries to sleep. It's mainly for emotional comfort, because often feeling sick or hurt just makes him want to be with his brothers. But the sleeping part definitely helps physically, since sleep is the best thing when someone's trying to heal.

💖 Totty's usual ritual, as soon as he feels like he's coming down with something, is to try every home remedy he remembers. Shogayu, negi-miso-yu, yuzu-cha, green tea, orange juice, anything to send sickness back to where it came from. He hates being sick so much, the ritual he has around it is more to try and keep it from blossoming than to make him feel better when it finally sets in. Predictably, although it sometimes makes the physical symptoms a little less severe, it's more to make him feel better emotionally and lessen anxiety than anything else.

[wndoheum]

           INTRODUCING  DOHEUM  ❜  ─── !

funky record scratch i’m markus twenty-one years old, go by he/him & MOST IMPORTANTLY, super stoked to be in this amazin GROUP! i have absolutely zero self-control so expect some other muses from me in the future AND bear with me folks, things might be a lil bumpy so please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times.

—— TLDR :

his full bio is horrifically long !!! i’m talking 3.5k+ words!! and as a great philosopher once said, ain’t nobody got time for that, so that’s what this lovely intro is for!!

born the youngest of 4 older half-bros in kazakhstan, 3 from one marriage and 1 from another. his dad really loves divorcing his wives clearly.

grew up wildly unstable both in regards to finances and . . everything else. endures torment by his older brothers + the fact his father really can’t stand lil doheum compared to his social and boisterous brothers is not grand.

his mother passes when he’s still young, which he doesn’t remember much of so it’s no skin off his back. ( still finds himself mourning her to the day tho but it’s mainly in an objective sense ) music has always had a huge impact and it’s his mother’s love of it that sprouted this little seed when he learned piano for her.. only after her death he couldn’t bring himself to even touch the keys.

becomes a trainee for the first time when he’s a youngin a year after his family moves back to korea. ( freshly turned 14, at that ) auditions for an absolutely shady company that spits him and many other trainees out on their asses when it comes to light they were just extorting them all for money with no chance of debut, gives up his little music dream. ( he was only there for roughly 5 months so it’s fine! :) so he says ) bullied the hell out of because damn shitty kids think it’s funny he’s from some place that isn’t south korea all through his school years

moves in with his grandfather after the loss of his grandmother to take care of him since he’s the last family member he feels close with when he’s a teen. his dad couldn’t give less a shit what he did anymore so he calls it a win. lives relatively unfulfilled, hones his academic prowess and aims for a spot in SNU where he wants to start pursuing a degree in forensic science eventually.

with his gramps in gimcheon is where he rediscovers his love of music and it’s in rap cyphers, freestylin it out with a cluster of rappers. learns the tricks of the trade in production and becomes an absolutely beastly rapper. tho.. a lot of them are pricks to him ( see bio for more lulz )

AT LAST!! he auditions for wonder nation. he shows great improvement, workin himself to the bone all while still finishing up his final year of high school. did i mention he still makes the 2 hour bus ride back to gimcheon where his gramps lives on his days off to check on him in that first year of training? yeah it was a lot. gramps being the sweet man he is, moves with doheum to seoul!

trainin going great, turns from that emotionally tense and entitled little teen lashing out at other trainees into a well-rounded goblin as the years fly by. goes from being a trash dancer to being pretty damn good. until one lil slip in the practice room twists his ankle teehee.

despite what he initially thought of just being a sprain, is in fact a fracture. ( anyone else in the broken ankle gang... if you know how fragile ankles are it is ridICULOUS ) spends months in recovery after needing a few rods put in but upon his return his ankle is still super unstable and the further he pushes, the more pain he got into. it’s at a monthly evaluation when he gets singled out for his sloppy footwork and bing bang boom,,,, his dream is dropped and transformed for another one as a producer.

BUT IT’S FOR THE BEST DON’T WORRY. the idea of being put on display to the public was something that had given him countless bouts of anxiety and worry over the years. HE’S STILL ON HIS GRIND because he is ruthlessly stubborn and refuses to just give up what he wanted to do!! ankle in decent condition considering he’s not doing any strenuous dancing anymore and just buckling down on the production path. ( but shh don’t bring up how some angles of standing or flexing his ankle put him in excruciating pain ) focused solely on creation and cultivation of music and he’s doing just Swaggy.

—— NOTES :

complicated is not nearly a big enough word for the absolute disaster of this man

a chill and level-headed type.. reliable bitch who gets things done but in the same sense it makes him a prick to work with sometimes because he’s pretty no-nonsense

patience of a saint but don’t read him the wrong way cause he will also snap into someone like a slim jim if you come at him sideways

a quiet extrovert,, loves people and hanging out! and an absolute villain... gives the same energy as johnny from nct saying he likes to make eye contact with people bc it ‘excites him’

devastatingly mature #grewuptoofastgang

i have unable to explain my muses personality-itis so y’all gonna have to forgive me on that front

—— PLOTS :

bring him softness!!! bring him the tender souls who bleed for others more than themselves!! let him see firsthand what it is to be the lamb ( cause he thinks kind people are lil cuties <3 )

it’s impossible to get under his skin but bring on anyone who’s determined enough to try

anyone who’s filled to the brim with hate for him for reasons that can be plotted muah muah :*

aspiring artists who need help with producing?? ( or possibly more painfully and Deep, need help with dance for some reason )

my plots page has bunches of em that are kinda just a baseline so you can go take a peek right here

?? LITERALLY ANYTHING, HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT

[lovelytarou]

you make me go uwu

pairing: midoriya izuku x reader

genre: fluff, angst

tags: inspired by the song uwu by chevy

a/n: i'm just projecting my izuku feels and me literally going soft whenever i see his chubby face in the manga ang going uwu over it, also i still have a christmas hangover so sorry if you don't celebrate that or not fond of it! hearts, reblogs & feedbacks are greatly appreciated 💗

midoriya izuku is a lot of things.

he's one of the best students at UA and was quite known to be a reckless person who never thinks twice about helping someone. his knack for breaking his bones was a testament to that fact.

he's no doubt going to be one of the best pro heroes out there soon, with a big heart, a kind soul, and a courageous spirit.

midoriya izuku is a lot of things and possessing such cute, squishable cheeks is one of them. or more likely, being cute is one of them.

this thought occured to you when he offered to help you in one of the classes you're having trouble with. being at such close proximity made you aware of just how green his eyes are and when the sunlight hits them just right, they look like beautiful gems. or how he always seem to mutter under his breath when he's thinking too hard, or how his right leg would unconsciously shift to you like he wanted to get closer.

but one of the things you noticed the most, is his cheeks while he puffs them out of frustration.

he's gonna give me a heart attack one of these days with how cute he is

incident #1

you were currently at the cafeteria, sitting at a table with the dekusquad (kaminari came up with it, izuku claimed their little group don't have a name) which consists of ochaco, shouto, tenya, and izuku.

everything is going well, the group had already bought their food and are now digging in after a collective, “itadakimasu!”

you just had the most fortunate opportunity to sit in front if izuku, of all people, who is too busy eating.

he paused for a moment to answer iida's question who's beside him and it made his cheeks bloated with the food inside.

you choked on your drink because you just felt your heart swell with how cute he looks. it almost reminded you of a hamster.

shouto who is sitting on your left, gave you a concerned look and offered you his water.

“are you okay, l/n-san?” his question made izuku turn to you both, you felt your cheeks heat up when he looked at you while looking like that.

“i-i'm fine, thanks.” you took the water from him and gulped it down to clear your throat, and cool your nerves.

“you should chew your food properly when eating or else you'll choke!” iida scolded, waving his hands in a chopping motion you all grew to be familiar with.

“s-sorry...” you can't help but scratch at your nape in embarrassment.

incident #2

“midoriya, you're up.” aizawa called one afternoon on another day of training.

the rest of class 1-a stood back while izuku stepped in front. this was another one of aizawa's endurance training and one of the challenges was to beat a bunch of the robots from the entrance exam once again. how he can call this endurance training, you don't know.

“SMAAAAASH!” you heard izuku yell, tearing through what was once a robot and turning it into scraps of metal.

he did this to the other robots and he landed on his feet with a very serious look that instead of making him look intimidating, it actually made him look more adorable.

“he's like an angry bunny–” you cut yourself off with a hand on your mouth as you laughed quietly, another flush blossoming on your cheeks.

“i know right?! look how cute he is, but he's scary when he shows how strong he is like that.” mina added, looking at izuku who's walking towards the both of you now.

you immediately composed yourself when his eyes landed on you.

“y/n! are you okay? your face is all red! are you sick? do you need to go to recovery girl? shall i take you to her? what if you're overheating?! it's so hot out and your hero costume's probably too heavy–” he began to ramble and you can only stare at him with wide eyes as he continued with his wild thoughts.

quickly dismissing him with a hand on his mouth as everyone started to look at the two of you, izuku stared down at it and felt flustered at how soft your hand felt on his lips.

he's practially kissing your palm, do you even register what you're doing to him?!

“shh! i'm fine! it's just...you're so–” you were about to tell him that he's just so damn cute but you were called by aizawa.

“uh, i gotta go! see ya later!” you scrambled away from him, heart beating fast inside your chest.

that was close.

incident #3

“hey, y/n? can i ask you a favor?” you looked up from your phone when izuku approached you on the dorm's common room.

worry is written all over his face as he fumbled with his fingers, thinking about you being too busy even though you're literally on your phone all day.

there he goes again.

before he can overthink more, you smiled at him warmly and stood up from your seat.

“sure, what's up?”

izuku gulped, “well, uh, i was thinking of a gift to give to someone but i, um, don't know if they'll like it? i kinda, um, need your opinion on it, if that's okay?”

he stared at you with big doe eyes and you can't help but swoon when he looks at you like that. of course, how can you say no to that face? he looks like he'd cry any moment if you denied him.

“alright! what gift did you get for this particular someone?” you teased, nudging his side.

he led the two of you to his room, which isn't the first time since it became a usual thing for the two of you to study together there or simply hang out and talk about your problems, about what you did that day, rambling about your favorite heroes...basically this has became your second room. and your's his.

“um, i got them this,” he opened his bedside drawer and pulled out a small box. inside it, he revealed a beautiful necklace with a letter D as a pendant.

“it's for ‘deku’ which sounds kind of cheesy since it's my hero name, but i just thought that if i gave it to them then that means i'm with them wherever they are,” he reached for something inside his shirt, showing you an identical looking necklace with a familiar letter on it.

you don't want to assume things, but whoever is this particular someone that izuku is going to give the necklace to, they sure are one lucky person. not only is he kind, thoughtful, caring, and not to mention cute, but they'd be lucky to have someone like izuku fall for them.

ignoring the sudden pang of hurt in your chest, you forced a smile on your mouth and cooed at him.

“aww, that is so cute, izu! i'm sure they would love that very much. i know i would! if they don't, you can just always give it to me,” you joked, laughing to mask your hurt.

“r-really? you think so?” when you nodded in response, izuku heaved a big sigh of relief, “well, i trust you, y/n. i'm sure they would love this.”

after that, you excused yourself out of his room and proceeded to go to yours. sleep didn't come to you easily that night, thinking about the special someone that izuku was talking about and how much it would hurt once you saw them together.

over the years you spent being his friend, you never thought you would harbor such deep, intense feelings for the green-haired boy. you don't doubt he has great things ahead of him, and because of that, you started to like him for how strong he is and how he continues to be a better hero, and an overall a great person. that awe soon turn to adoration. and before you knew it, you're falling hard for izuku.

last incident

it's christmas, and the day before, aizawa had made all of you draw lots for your secret santas. your heart stopped when you saw izuku's name on the paper you pulled from the bowl.

you didn't think too much of it and decided to give him something all might-related and called it a day, still a little sour over izuku falling for someone else.

when the dreaded day came, everybody was so chaotic and high on their holiday spirits. even bakugou, which they convinced to wear a santa hat and haul the gifts in a bag. although, he still had a big scowl on his face and basically threw the gifts to their designated owners.

“shitty hair!” bakugou barked, pulling out a gift from the bag. kirishima hopped over to where bakugou was sitting and accepted the gift with a big smile on his face.

“whoa, bakugou! you're my secret santa?!” he asked in shock, eyes shining.

“it does says my name there, doesn't it, idiot? now hurry up and open your gift already,” kirishima did just that and bursted into tears when his gift was a crimson riot themed crocs. he thanked bakugou over and over while the latter hid his smile poorly with a cough.

“whatever. dunce face! you're next!” he practically threw kaminari's gift to him which the boy almost failed to catch, earning him a snigger from the explosive boy.

“man, why do you gotta be the santa for christmas? you're cruel!” kaminari pouted, turning around to go back to where he was squished in between sero and mineta.

“you got a problem with that, dunce face?!” he growled, his palms crackling with his quirk. kirishima tried to diffuse his anger.

when everything is calm, bakugou proceeded to dig into the bag for gifts.

“here, you shitty nerd.” he tossed your gift to izuku, you almost yelped a ‘be careful!’ but izuku had great reflexes and caught your gift swiftly. his eyes widened when he read who his secret santa was. your eyes met each other but was abruptly cut off when bakugou called your name.

“y/n! here's yours,” he was oddly calm when handing you your gift, albeit a little bored.

that received a lot of complaints from your other classmates and you can only shake your head while chuckling at their antics.

deciding to get some time for yourself, you went to the balcony for some air and sat down on one of the steps at the entrance.

placing the gift on your lap, you read the tag attached to it. it was wrapped in a simple green wrapper with red ribbon that finished the look.

to: y/n

happy holidays!

from: D

the name made you curious and even if you hated yourself for it, lit a sparkle of hope inside yourself. what if it was him who gave you the gift?

you had no time to dwell much on the thought and opened the gift instead. your breath hitched in your throat as you recognized the familiar box. lifting the lid with shaky hands, you felt your eyes sting as you looked down at your gift.

it was the necklace that izuku showed you before. you were such an idiot for thinking it was for someone special and did not think it was for the secret santa.

you carefully lifted it in your fingers and the light from the inside catched the D attached to it. it was beautiful. izuku's words echoed inside your head.

“i just thought that if i gave it to them then that means i'm with them wherever they are,”

“did you...not like it?” the boy in question appeared beside you and upon noticing your tears on your face, he immediately thought it gave a negative effect.

gasping, you quickly wiped away your tears and shook your head wildly at him.

“izu, no! i-i love it! actually, it's kinda funny...”

“funny?” he tilted his head in confusion, concern still etched onto his face.

“i was sad that you care a lot about someone else to give them this wonderful gift. i didn't realize that you would give something like this...to me,” you laughed through your tears, sniffling a bit.

“why would you think that?” his voice is so soft and genuinely confused that you can't help but feel your heart beat even more, and fall for him harder than you should.

“because,” you think of a way to word your feelings better but instead what came out was, “you're you and i'm...me,”

it was stupid, but with the overflowing emotions you're feeling right now, it's hard to voice your emotions.

izuku huffed, his cheeks puffing up once again because of the action.

“what do you mean by that? i mean, you're the most amazing person i've ever met! and you're always there for me when i'm sad, and happy and-and...whenever i'm with you, i always feel this...this...warmth! it's like, when you come home after a long day and you just felt safe and comforted. or-or when my mom cooks my favorite food it just makes me feel fuzzy inside! it's like when i watch my favorite video of all might over and over again and i never get tired of it,” he sighed after his long speech, eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he stared at you with determination.

“what i'm getting at is...i care a lot about you, y/n.” he let out in one breath. he stared up at you with big eyes, those damn eyes that never failed to make your heart jump and stomach do flips.

chuckling at yourself, you raised both of your hands and squeezed his cheeks with all your might making him yelp in pain.

“ow! y/n...” he whined.

“sorry, sorry! i've always wanted to do that!” you snorted.

“i care a lot about you, too, izu–” he suddenly kissed the corner of your mouth, making you shut up in shock. he had a smirk on his lips, amused by your reaction.

“i've always wanted to do that,” he threw your words back at you. feeling your whole face heat up, you turned your back towards him and held out your hand holding the necklace.

“whatever! just help me put this on, will you?” you felt his hands take the necklace from your grasp. you shivered when you felt the cold metal touch your skin but it was quickly replaced by his warm hands.

“there.” he mumbled, voice far too close to your ear. before you can thank him, you felt his lips brush your nape where the lock was and squealed from the contact.

the idiot only laughed at this and ushered you to stand up, helping you to your feet.

“let's go back inside, i heard they prepared a lot of food today.”

without thinking, izuku grabbed your hand and led you inside the dorm. you could only let him drag you as you stared at your joined hands, playing with the necklace hanging on your neck before staring back up at izuku who's smiling at you.

he's the best gift that you could ever ask for.

[ikleesfiction]

Will you follow through if I fall for you?

Fandom : One Chicago Word count : 2,409 words Disclaimer

Previously on this fic : Part 1 🞂 Part 2 🞂 Part 3 🞂 Part 4 🞂 Part 5

Part 6

It's been a few days since your date night with Jay. It went much better than you expected. You knew from the start that Jay is a good guy and probably a sweet lover too. But after that night, you found out that there's more to him than his good look and easy-going attitude. Jay's gentleness soothes your insecurities. His understanding warms you from inside. It's hard to feel miserable when he's around. You cannot help but latch on to him.

You and Jay keep texting and calling each other every day, but you only got to meet him once since then. For a coffee date before he ran to work while you went for your PT session. His job doesn't leave a lot of spare time, so you relish all the time he spends with you.

You hear your phone rings when you have your lunch. There is a video call request from your best friend and work-mate, Alex. "Hey, you! I miss your stupid face!" you greet him.

"You know what's not stupid?" Alex ignores your greeting. "The new material I received this morning

He refers to an email you sent him last night. Instead of sleeping, you wrote some lines and tinkered some notes on your electric keyboard. It was still very rough, but you and Alex swap ideas all the time. They could be a bar of melodies or chord progressions. Or maybe a single line that you cannot get out of your head, even there's no context to it.

"Wanna work on it soon?" Alex proposes.

"Yeah, sure!" you easily agree.

"You know I'm gonna ask how you come up with that song idea, right?" Alex probes further. He got an idea about your sudden burst of inspiration, but you haven't told him anything yet so far.

"You can ask. I might not answer", you nonchalantly retort. "Are you asking now?"

"I would, but I just arrived at my parents' house for our weekly dinner", Alex turns his camera phone and shows you his family dining table. "Say hi to Y/N, Pop" He lets his parents know that you're on the phone.

"Hallo, Liefje" Alex's parents greet and wave at you. "I miss you, Y/N. How are you doing, darling?" Alex's mom squeals at you.

"I miss you guys too. I miss home," you utter mournfully.

"I saw your dad last week. He and your mom cannot wait to have you back home next month. As are we." Alex's dad informs you.

Your face gets even more upset. "I haven't told my parents yet, but it's gonna be another two months. It's not working out as good as they wanted"

Alex's parents let out a sympathetic noise. "Oh great, I still have two more months to hide all my chocolate from you" Alex teases you instead. He knows if he doesn't throw any humor here, you're going to weep. The family laughs at your offended look.

"Where's Sara?" you ask them when you didn't notice Alex's little sister on the table.

"She's getting ready for a date after dinner. Said they will go stargazing. Can you believe it?" Alex skeptically recounts to you.

"Hmm, that sounds romantic. Good for her." you hum your appreciation. Alex can see twinkles in your eyes.

"Of course, you thought it was charming", Alex sounds vexed.

"Why are you so grumpy about this? You have a hit song that compared someone's eyes with the moon", you remind him. "Last time I checked, that song already got more than 400 million streams on Spotify". Alex just grumbles incoherently, while you can hear his father's booming laugh in the background.

"Alex, would you please call your sister down for dinner?" Alex's mom orders him.

"Alright, ma. Gotta go, Y/N. I'll call you later when I'm back at the studio. Bye, sis!" Alex ends the call.

◢◤

Kelly Severide comes to your place in the evening after he finished his shift. He called you on your cell several times, but you didn't pick them up. He knocked on your door for a few minutes without answers. Worried that something bad happened to you, he uses his key to open your apartment door. You gave him a spare when you began your recovery from the incident. Since you got nobody in town except for the 51 Family, you thought at least one of them should have access to your place, in case you need help.

Kelly sees you sitting on your corner desk with headphones on. Your head is nodding to the beat you're working on. Relieved to know you okay, but feels a bit annoyed, Kelly taps your shoulder lightly. You jump in surprise, almost fall from your chair if Kelly doesn't hold you down.

"Kelly! What..! Why are you..??" your heart is still pounding in shock, makes you unable to finish your thoughts properly.

"I knocked! And called you many times! Neither you answered! I was afraid that you fell and unconscious so I used my key", Kelly exclaims.

You check your phone and see seven missed calls from Kelly. "Sorry, I left my phone on mute, somehow"

Kelly goes to raid your fridge and takes a bottle of apple juice. "Your fridge needs beers" he judges. "Go, get ready! We'll hang out at Molly's. Everyone misses you", Kelly orders you.

"I'm working, Kelly. Just because my work has no shifts, doesn't mean I can go anytime you want", protest you.

"You work for your best friend, who's in another continent right now. You can slack off for a bit" he dismisses your complaint.

"I'm making big progress here. My writing juice is flowing", you point at your laptop.

"One hour. I give you one hour to work. Then I'm hauling you out of here. In the meantime, I'm gonna order take out for us", Kelly decides.

You only mumble your disagreement, knowing that you're gonna lost the argument anyway. So you just put your headphones back on your head. However, Kelly pokes you again five minutes later, with his phone on hand, "Hey, do you want Thai or Greek? I'm in the mood for Greek right now", Kelly playfully asks you.

"Yeah, Greek is fine" you start to feel bothered.

He leaves to order the food while you're back to do your work. Ten minutes passed, Kelly drags a chair from the kitchen island to your side. He knocks on the table to catch your attention.

"Hey, I just remember, Brett said they saw you rescued somebody at the swimming pool last week. How did that happen?" he questions.

You let out a desperate sigh. "You're not going to let me work in peace, are you?"

Kelly just grins. "C'mon, we haven't hung out for a while. Lots of drama to share"

You save your work in defeat and then move to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Kelly sits on the couch with legs resting on the coffee table. You place yourself next to Kelly.

"They extend my therapy for another month" you restlessly play with your bottle cap.

"Is it not going well?" Kelly asks in concern.

"I got cramps that day at the swimming pool. They worried I damaged something. So they prefer to be cautious" you fill him in.

"That's when you rescued Dr. Manning's son " Kelly tries to clarify.

"Well, I just pulled him out of the water. The pool guard was the one who helped him breathe" you shrug.

"You assisted. It still counts as a rescue", Kelly insists. "Bet if Dr. Manning knew, she would buy you drinks at Molly's forever"

"More like got invited to dinner at their place," you mutter.

"Hmm, that's probably true" Kelly pauses for a moment, thinking. "Wait, did you meet her?" he grills you.

"Yeah. And her fiancé. I came to the hospital to check on Owen. Then next thing I knew I'm having family dinner with Manning/Halstead clan", you convey to him.

Kelly's phone chirps interruptedly. "Food's here" He goes to pick up the food from the delivery guy. "Alright, let's eat then we can go to Molly's"

◢◤

Jay is nursing his first beer as he watches Will bottoms up his third glass of whiskey. Will called him earlier in the evening, claimed that he needs bro night out after a shitty day at Med. Jay's initial plan to have dinner with you got scrapped before he even asked.

"Maybe you need to pace yourself, Will", Jay suggests to him as Will signs to Otis for a refill.

"Yeah, Doc. Maybe you want to switch? We have a nice Dutch craft beer chilling here", Otis offers. But Will is still holding out his empty glass to him, silently demanding for more. "Okay then" sighs Otis as he fills the glass.

Jay hears the commotions at the other end of the bar. He recognizes some people from Firehouse 51 there. Christopher Hermann is cackling, while Matt Casey grins widely. They pay attention to someone that is sitting among the group, but he cannot see who because Severide is blocking his view.

Jay checks his phone while he finishes his beer. He received a text from you beforehand, told him that she's going out to meet her friends tonight. He texted back, wishing her to enjoy her night out, but got no replies. Will notices Jay's scrolling on his phone and asks, "Do you need to go back to work?"

"Nah, just checking my texts" Jay puts his phone back in his pocket. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Not in the slightest. But I still have to go to work tomorrow. If I wanna do better than today, I cannot do that with a hangover" Will sulks. "Hey Gabby, I would like to try that craft beer Otis suggested" he requests to Gabby who passes by.

"Would you like one as well, Jay?" Gabby offers him.

"Alright, why not.." Jay accepts the new bottle.

"Is this a new batch? Don't think I ever have it here before", comments Will after his first sip.

"Yeah! Just start to come in this month. It's a friend's favorite. She hooked us up with a supplier directly from The Netherlands. You like it?" Gabby enthusiastically claims.

"It's good. But still not Bourbon", Will pouts. Jay lets out a snort while Gabby snickers.

Jay looks around the bar as he savors his beer. He paused when he thought he saw you sitting among the 51 Gang. Will notices and looks in the same direction. "Is that Y/N?" asks Will.

Jay stands up for his seat, "I'm gonna go say hi to her"

◢◤

You feel a palm pressed to your back as you hear someone's saying from behind, "Didn't expect to see you here tonight"

You turn your back immediately as you realize whose voice it is, "Jay!" shout you excitedly. You open your arms to hug him. Jay lands a chaste kiss on your lips before hugs you back.

Kelly and Matt look at each other over your head with eyebrows raised. "Well, that's something I didn't expect" goads Kelly.

"Severide, Casey" Jay gives them an acknowledging nod with his hands stay on your hips.

"How do you know each other?" Matt asks curiously.

Jay opens his mouth to reply, but you hear Will's interruption, "You guys finally made it, huh?" Jay rolls his eyes at his brother.

"These guys have been sending heart-eyes at each other since they first met" Will tips off the 51 gang. "Which I arranged, by the way. But this result was unintentional"

"No, we're not!" you try to deny.

"I was there, Y/N, at your almost first kiss" Will divulges.

"Oh my god!" you hide your blushing face behind your palms. Jay smacks a kiss on the side of your head, amused while the group makes fun of you.

"I guess this happened after Y/N rescued Owen?" Sylvie asks to confirm.

"Ooooh yes, our next year candidate!" Hermann yells. The others just clap and whistle in response. You thud your head to the bar table, abashed.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. We are proud of you" Casey remarks. "That said if you want to go to the academy..." he continues.

"Nuh-uh, I love my job, thank you very much" you quickly state.

You spend the rest of the night beside Jay, chatting and laughing with 51 Family and Halstead brothers until you let out a big yawn. "Tired?" Jay asks you softly.

You nod, "Beer always made me sleepy"

"Let me settle the tabs, then I'll take you home" Jay squeezes your shoulder as he stands up.

Kelly observes you and Jay throughout the night. When Jay left your side, he lowly speaks to you after making sure everyone else is busy conversing elsewhere. "So Jay Halstead is the one who got your juice's flowing, huh?"

"Kelly!" you slap his arm, agape.

"I mean your writing juice! You said it earlier!" Kelly yelps, but his smirk contradicts his words.

"You're the worst" you just shake your head.

Kelly's face turns serious for a moment, "Does he know about your situation?"

"What situation?" you try to sound innocent, but Kelly just gives you a look.

"Told him about the collapsing stage" you deflated.

"Have you told him that you're leaving in two months?" Kelly pushes.

"It's still too early. Who knows, Jay might end this soon", your voice sounds unsure.

"Don't think so. He looks quite smitten by you. Should probably tell him soon", Kelly disagrees.

"I'm happy right now, Kels. Can I just enjoy this for a while?" you start to lose patience with him.

"He deserves to know" Kelly persists.

You look down at the table, your fist is clenched in frustration. Jay comes back and notices the tense atmosphere. "Is everything okay?"

You reply with a forced smile, "Yeah, let's get out of here" then stand up from your seat and give Kelly a quick hug, "Thanks, Kels"

You move to say goodbye to the rest of the group, which takes a bit of time since everyone wants a hug or has something to tell you.

"C'mon guys, my boyfriend has waited long enough" you cry out when Sylvie and Gabby hold you back from going. The group guffaw even louder and playfully nudges Jay, who just beams brightly at you.

"Good night, guys!" you casually shout, finally getting away from the rest of the group, with Jay's hand in yours.

Next on this fic : Part 7

+x Taglist +x

@shipshipshipau @itsdesiree86 @thevelvetseries @annaallicce

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

Ch. 4

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunately have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: Language, sad Jensen, touch starved, angst, fluff if you squint.. I think that’s it for this chapter...

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 2265

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

“Jensen?” You hiss, looking up and down the hall, and then back at your sleeping friend before stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind you..

Jensen stepped back a little in the narrow hallway, not wanting to crowd you, shifting his feet a little uncomfortably before looking back up at you with an almost a shy expression covering his face.. 

"Hey." 

You more than a little dumb founded, of all the people you expected to see standing in outside your motel room door in the middle of the night, Jensen was not one of those people...

You couldn't tell if he was angry or not. Personally you felt like everything was your fault. 

You didn't know why, but there it was... 

He and Danneel had obviously separated before he got here... 

Still you couldn't help the guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach... 

So you stood there examining your feet... Waiting for him to say something else...

"Hey." You echoed him.. Needing desperately to break the silence that had fallen between you. 

"Let's go grab a coffee down stairs, I think I owe you an explanation." He finally said after what felt like forever. 

You still couldn't look up at him for some reason, a strange feeling crossed between shame and confusion from all the drama making you feel more than a little stressed to even be seen with him in public right now..

"I'm a little underdressed." 

You were wearing an oversized, faded black shirt  that had Stewie from a Family Guy holding a bazooka on it that said 'I don't play well with others', and a pair of pink, purple, and black plaid pajama pants and ankle socks.

Jensen laughed slightly. 

"You look fine sweetheart, and besides, I'm not much better off."

Curiosity got the best of you at that point, making you really look at him for the first time since he knocked on your door..

He was wearing a plain white T-shirt, red and black pajama pants, and flip flops. His hair was sticking up at cute random angles, and his face was a little redder than normal, his eyes had an unnatural red tent to them, and looked as if he’d either had a little too much to drink earlier, or he had been crying.. It was hard to tell which...

"It's like 3 am, nobody is gonna be down there." He said, shifting his feet uncomfortably on the floor, and looking around the hall... 

He was a mess....but he still looked attractive as ever…

He hadn't shaved all day, so he had a nice five o'clock shadow going, and even though he looked like he'd just rolled out of bed after a long night out he still looked beautiful. 

There was a look in his deep green eyes… One you didn’t quite understand that just wouldn’t let you turn him away...

"Fine, let me grab my wallet." 

You turn to open the door to your room, but he quickly stops you as if you go into the room, you will just leave him hanging in the hallway... 

"I'll pay." He said, reaching out and grabbing your hand in his, then quickly letting it go as if he’d crossed some unseen line. 

"Okay." 

You silently followed him to the elevators and watched as he pushed the button to the bottom floor, both of you riding in silence, not saying anything until you both had your coffee ordered from the tired looking girl behind the counter, and found a booth in the very back of the kitchen/ eating area of the hotel..

There was nobody in sight. Just the desk clerk, and the girl working for the coffee shop. The hotel was almost eerie quiet compared to all the cayos and movement of earlier today with fans and vendors working throughout the hotel, now it was all but deserted...

"I'm sorry about what Danneel did." He finally said almost in a whisper, staring at his untouched coffee cup that was sitting in front of him. "You didn't do anything wrong, and you didn't deserve that. She was just pissed, and was attacking me. Still you shouldn't have been caught in the crossfire." 

He looked exhausted when he brought his hands up to his face, rubbing it harshly, and you just wanted to reach out and hug him..

"You can't control what she does Jensen. Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal." You tell him, not wanting him to feel like he owed you anything.

You definitely didn’t want him to feel like he owed you any sort of apology or pity..

"I read the comments." He said, staring you down now, his eyes are cold and hard, emotionless, and that’s just not like him at all. From what you’ve seen online anyway.

"It is a big deal. She was trying to make me look bad. Like I was the one who did wrong, and I didn't do shit." He said flatly, clenching his fist on the table in front of him. 

"I came home early from Vancouver. I was going to surprise her. When I came through the door I found her fucking a cashier from our brewery in our living room." He said, still staring you down.. 

You didn't realize your mouth was hanging open until he smirked at you.

"Yeah that was pretty much my reaction too." He gave you a hollow laugh under his breath. "I stormed out and drove here. When I got here I called her and in so many words told her it was over. I was filing for divorce." 

He wasn't looking at you anymore, just rambling like he needed to get all this off his chest. 

"She said it was my fault she was cheating on me...... Said she was lonely, and I was never home...." He broke his sentence looking down at his lap taking deep breaths to steady himself. The unshed tears forming in his eyes was enough to make your heart want to stop beating.

Reflexively you reach across the table, and touch his hand, he stiffened, but didn't pull away. 

"None of that is your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve what she did. As far as the post to the internet... You're the one that has to get up there in front of a room full of people to answer their......question." You tell him, but he's still just staring you down coldly…

But he hasn't moved his hand... 

The man was hard as stone... 

You could tell this had cut him deep... 

It's not something he would just get over or be okay with in a month or two, this was going to take him some time to get past everything she’d done to him, and you had a feeling it didn’t start today with the cheating, but he had been manipulating him and using him for awhile now..

"You don't even know me.......why are you being nice to me right now........ Is it because I'm famous.... I have money..... What, what's the reason you didn't tell me to go fuck myself like you rightfully should have? I pulled you on stage. I'm the reason there was even a video for her to post." 

You hadn't noticed until he'd stopped speaking he had laced his fingers in yours. 

It shocked you.....

His words were hard, but it was like he was doing all he could to seek affection and comfort from someone..

"You didn't do anything wrong. She's the bitch that made a post out of a damn cell phone video." You tell him, becoming a little distracted by his thumb making little circles on the back of your hand. 

"I don't care about your money, you can keep it. I don't care about you being famous. If you were a UPS driver or somebody flipping burgers at Burger King you still deserve to have better than what she’s done to you. 'Cause you were gone a lot and they were lonely.' That's the biggest bullshit statement I've ever heard, and definitely not a valid excuse for someone to be unfaithful." 

He was looking down, jaw clenched, so you decided to stop talking. Not knowing if you were pissing him off, or if he was just tired of talking about it because it was still pretty fresh.

"She wasn't the only one that was lonely." He said, one hand spinning his untouched coffee on the table. "She at least had the kids. I had nobody." 

You sit watching as his walls slowly start to come down, walls you didn’t even know were there until they started to crumble.. 

"I came home a little early cause I wanted some time alone with her... You're not human if you don't crave intimacy from someone, and I’m not talking about sex... Just to have someone to hold while you sleep... Someone when you wake up in the middle of the night you can roll over, and wrap up with so you don't feel so alone......so empty...... I just wanted to be able to be in contact with another person... Just for a little while before I had to be alone again." He still had a grip on your hand, but he still wouldn’t look at you, not directly. Like he was a little ashamed of his own confession.

You were pretty pissed at Danneel before you got down here, but now, now you were even more pissed. 

It wasn't fair what she did to him, she didn’t deserve someone like Jensen.... You wished someone would crave you like that, just to be near you… Yet she threw it all away...Then tried to blame him for her fuck up... 

"I wish I didn't feel so alone." He said, taking his hand from yours. You already missed his warm hand wrapped around yours. Your skin is still tingling where he’d been touching you.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just dumped all that on you. Come on I'll walk you back to your room. It's 4:30 in the morning, we both need to get some sleep." He said abruptly, standing and waiting for you to do the same. Walls firmly back in place..

The elevator ride to the 5th floor was a quiet one, and the walk to your room was just as quiet. You both stop in front of the door, facing each other. 

There was a look on his face you didn't recognize, pain, fear, loneliness maybe…

"Well I'd say goodnight, but... It's kinda already morning." You say, putting your hand in the door. 

Without saying anything Jensen pulls you by your waist into his chest, and for a moment you were too shocked to move, until you hear him take a very unsteady breath. The both of you just stood there holding onto each other for the longest. 

Finally, when you looked up at him, his eyes were unfocused, his mind somewhere else. Reaching up in a moment of boldness you touch the side of his face, bringing him back down to reality...

"Where is your room?" You asked, he looks at you confused. 

"Very end of the hall." He said, jerking his head in that direction. 

You break away from him and grab his hand, you lead him that way. He followed alone behind you, quiet and confused.. When you stopped at the last room he unlocked the door, still confused, but he held it open for you to come in.

Stopping just inside the door he turns to face you, his face guilty, and pained. 

"I'm sorry I can't do this." He breathed out, but before he could get too carried away you reached up again touching the side of his face. He leans into your hand without realizing what he was doing.. Or maybe he did… He was a hard person to read when he was acting, and this was no different...

"We're not going to do anything." You tell him, grabbing his hand leading him to the side of the bed. 

"I just couldn't stand the thought of you alone again tonight." 

Understand hit him hard, and the walls around him broke again, this time like a dam, letting loose a flood of tears in their wake. 

Lifting the cover he crawled into the bed. Holding the cover up for you to climb in too..

You climbed in the bed next to him, and he wrapped his arms and legs light around you. Taking another deep shaking breath. 

"Thank you." He finally whispers once he gets control of his emotions some...

"Let's get some sleep. You got a lot of people waiting on you in a few hours." You say, running your fingers through his hair, hoping you weren’t pushing him too far.. He was so hurt.. So broken... 

You don't know what gave you the boldness to do this. 

You just could leave him alone. 

Not like that..

Not that hurt. 

Not that alone. 

He didn't deserve what she did. He deserves to be treated like a damn God as hard as he worked for his family. 

Not to be cheated on and lied to.

After only 10 minutes you felt him relax, and his breaths deepen, finally falling into a deep sleep. You drifting off to your own deep sleep wrapped up in the arms of someone you'd had a crush on for almost 15 years. It wasn't even about that at this point though. You Couldn't stand how broken he looked. 

You just wanted to put him back together.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

Binge Tag: @sarahbaker2010​

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

[coleyholts]

Trigger Warning: Depression **I AM NOT A SELF-HARM RISK**

I have become two people.  

That’s kind of a weird concept to fully grasp.  What do you mean two people?  This post is dedicated to my damaged self, who needs to realize that becoming one with my rational self is a goal we can all look forward to achieving.  Also, to the people that love me, here’s a look into where I’m at right now with guilt.

Here’s the thing.  RATIONAL SELF

I’m a smart, experienced woman with years of childcare under my belt. I am completely confident in my marriage, knowing loyalty, fidelity, and support will never be an issue.  I actually enjoy my job and being around my coworkers.  I have the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for that have stuck by my side for decades.  My parents adore me and want me to be happy.  My siblings and in-laws are my best friends that always make me proud.  I love spending my time doing art. I’m social, approachable, and confident.  I am a great mother. Oh, and I’m HILARIOUS.

But here’s the OTHER thing.  DAMAGED SELF

I’m depressed and feeling guilty and so much regret.  I want to stay in my house and do nothing because it doesn’t really make a difference if I attend events.  No one misses me at stuff like that.  Asking for help is a huge inconvenience to the others. Asking for alone time makes me feel guilty, so I tend to never ask.  I’m scared something is going to happen to my baby as a result of the accident-something that creeps up out of nowhere like some random, preventable hemorrhage or something.  I don’t deserve Natasha.  I had my chance and failed.  Daniel should resent me.

As an intro to this elaboration here, I want to just briefly touch on the fact that PTSD, depression, and like conditions will all bring on good days and bad days.  What I am describing are short spans of time (minutes, usually) where my “two selves” are arguing over how shitty I am.  This is not a bad day.  This is just any day, anytime, anywhere.

I left work early on Friday.  My back has been out all of August and I have some nerve damage, which I will end up writing about eventually, that tends to make my healing process suuuuper slow.  Even more challenging, I have a 20+ pound baby beauty that loves seeing how fast she can crawl towards things she shouldn’t. SPOILER ALERT: ...it’s pretty fast. *eye roll*

I was about five minutes from home when I just had this random, hateful thought.  

I hurt my own feelings. I made myself sad.

I have been pushing it off when people I trust have asked me (very lovingly and at appropriate times) if I was sure I wasn’t feeling guilty.  And, I was sure.  My “normal” self, the one that presents to people when I am not a pot of anxiety or in physical pain is RATIONAL.  

So RATIONAL Nicole (hereon referred to as “I/me”) knows that statistically speaking, most babies are going to fall off of something at some point before they reach the 12-month milestone, whether it be the couch, out of a swing, out of bed, etc.  They are resilient. They experience injury and they learn. I denied the feelings of guilt because I was able to suppress them with knowledge of anything and everything I could find relating to what took place that day; anything I could store in my brain that would serve as concrete evidence that this wasn’t my fault and that I can forgive myself.

DAMAGED Nicole (hereon referred to as “the voice”) is a paranoid jerk with no faith in me.  This in-house antagonist decides to remind me of what happened, quite often focusing on the fact that I caused it.  I put her on the bed.  I laid with her. I let her rest beside me instead of in my arms because she was a little sweaty.  I fell asleep.  She rolled across and over onto the floor, while in MY care.  I had one job:  Keep her alive and healthy... The voice will not let me forget it.  

I am not hearing the stereotypical, personality disorder kind of voices. This is my conscience, a one on one with myself.  This is how trauma has made me perceive myself, and when I make progress, that voice, MY voice, is telling me everything on a list, thought up by ME of “Reasons as to Why I Still Hate Myself.” **Note for emphasis: I DO NOT WANT TO DIE. THIS IS NOT A CRY FOR HELP.  JUST LISTEN <3 **

It’s when the silent back and forth begins between the voice and I that I’m transported back to a swampy wasteland of sorrow over the fact that I “just should’ve put her in her crib.”  The air is thick there, and has a flavor of burnt.  Taking it in is what one would imagine inhaling flavorless, vapory gravy mixed with a heap of soot feels like. It feels dry and my throat burns. There is a heaviness in my lungs and chest as my heartrate increases.  I try to keep my breathing steady, reminding myself, “it’s just one of these.” But then the voice hits me with a reaaaaaally low blow.

“You killed your baby.”

...Listen to me when I tell you it made me SICK to hear those words together, directed at me, formulated in my own damn mind.  My therapist says to try to remember to counter thoughts like these with realistic affirmations about myself, Natasha���s full recovery, the strength my marriage has gained... But the voice is mean.

The reason I have not been able to let go of the guilt is because my rational mind doesn’t argue after enough of a beatdown that I run out of answers.  

Why couldn’t they find her heatbeat? Because she was bleeding in her skull.  Why was she bleeding? She fell off of the bed.  Why did she fall off of the bed? Well....

Thinking with only your rational mind is like a math problem: a= Natasha sleeping b= me putting her in her crib c= me bringing her into my bed d= Natasha falling.

a+b=a & a+c=d.

What was the difference? ME. Situation-me=happy, rested baby. 

MY choice is what physically put her in a place where she could fall.  This is so hard for people to understand.  “Well, she's okay now” truly is not enough. With all of the support I have been experiencing, I’ve been served my fair share of phrases like that, and I want to be pissed, but I’m just thankful that none of the people I love have the frame of reference to fully get it.  

I don’t want you to know this pain.  I want you to help me through it.  

So to wrap it up, I am living my life with little battles in my head all day.  In therapy, I am working on getting these two sides of myself better acquainted, hoping the bravery I have gained from all of the crap my family and I have been through together can be worth something.

I deserve my baby.  I’m a great mother.  I am her calm, and she is safe with me.

I will get through this.  100%.

Just wish it wasn’t going to take so long.

[liliesoftherain]

My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader

Ch. 13 Midoriya vs Todoroki

Masterlist

A/N: Here’s the next part!! I know I said next part would have Mc vs Tokoyami BUT I felt like this was an important part to have, and I wanted you guys to focus on it so I made it shorter than I was originally going for.  Let me know what you guys think! 

TAGLIST: @rizamendoza808 !(: @iris-suoh !(: @quicksilverfangirl​ !(: @shortperson202 !(: @noodlenerd101 !(: @matchamidoriya​ !(: @thorsbtch-captainnoobmaster69me​ !(: @pastel-prynce​ !(: @sunkissedneptune​ @monetfatalia​ !(: @legit-fandom-trash​ !(: @lovethewitchofendor​ !(: @dekuxlink​ !(: @water-melone98​ !(: @helena-way07​ !(: @nothing17-7​ !(: @hopelessdisasterr​ !(: @karmaboundlife​ !(:

“Good luck Deku, you’ll do great.” 

Once the tense atmosphere settled, Izuku spoke up saying he was going to sit in the waiting room to prepare for his battle. 

You gave him a small smile and a wave and he felt his cheeks heat up at your words, knowing that you weren’t lying to him. He gave you a large smile back, hoping it didn’t look too dorky, and off he went.

You watched as he walked off, before looking towards your right side at Iida, who had a concerned look on his face.

“Iida?”

“I hope Uraraka will be alright.” He spoke out, voicing his concerns.

“She’s strong, I’m sure she’ll be fine.” You gave him a slight smile, hoping your words provided a little comfort.

“I do agree with you there, however I just hope there wasn’t too much damage done.”

“Yeah, he really roughed her up!” Kaminari jumped into the conversation, shaking his head in false disappointment. 

“He was kinda playing a false villain, must’ve been tough to hear all the boos from the crowd.” Sero spoke up from beside Kaminari, who nodded along to everything he said.

“Thankfully it was cleared up, because it’s ignorant to believe Bakugou would go easy on Uraraka We’re all training to be heroes, plus she’s not frail.” You said thoughtfully.

“Even if it all was because of who he was up against, he made a really convincing bad guy-”Tsuyu was cut off by angry shouts.

“Shut up you idiots, or else! Who said you could talk about me while I wasn’t there huh?”

“Bakugou dude,” Kaminari turned his head to look at Bakugou who just walked in, wearing a scowl, “Really though, I don’t understand how you were able to aim a powerful blast at a girl like that. I couldn’t help but hold back against that Shiozaki.”

“Kaminari she murdered you.” You pointed out.

His head snapped towards you, hurt swirling in his puppy dog eyes.

“Can’t you just let me have this!?”

“No,” you laughed, “because she totally kicked your butt, and you should let her have that win! She earned it you know. Just like how Bakugou earned his win against Ochako, even though she put up a good fight.”

“Why wouldn’t I have won, shitty girl!?” Bakugou hissed at you.

“Yeah, what’s up with that Kaminari, I bet Uraraka could’ve won against you too, she’ll have you dumb in two seconds.” Jiro laughed while mocking Kaminari’s overcharged face, thumbs up with her tongue out.

“WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?”

“Oh look Kirishima’s on the field!” Mina pointed out, ignoring Denki’s cries.

“WHOOHOOO! Before we head onto the second round, we have a manly score to settle! Let’s see who the true winner of the 7th match will be! Kirishima or Tetsutetsu! Who ever wins this arm wrestling match will move on! LET’S GOOO!”

The two boys got in position and activated their quirks, a cinder block underneath them acting as the table. It only lasted for about two minutes, but it felt like 2 hours. They were holding each other steady until you saw Tetsutetsu had lost his grip, letting Kirishima smack his arm down in a victory.

“Kirishima is the winner! Add him to the bracket!”

You clapped, yelling in praise for the redhead once Midnight announced his victory.

“Now we’ve got a full roster for the next round of the tournament, let’s get the party started now ya dig?”

You sat up in your seat a little bit more, feeling anxious at the fight that was about to go on below you. 

Midoriya and Todoroki. 

It was nerve wracking when you thought back to their conversation, and you found your eyes searching for Bakugou. He was the only other person who knew the true intentions of this fight, what this really meant to them. 

Bakugou’s eyes locked onto yours and all you did was stare. You didn’t know if he understood what you were trying to convey with just a simple look, but the way he gave you a single nod made you feel better. So you grinned back, then a voice popped up.

“So, the match hasn’t started yet? What are you staring at (y/n)?”

You snapped your head to look at Ochako who walked out on the first row, giving you a strange look. 

“What-oh, hey. How are you doing?” You changed the topic.

“I’m good!”

“Something terrible has happened to your eyes! You should go get that checked out by Recovery Girl.” Iida cut in, jaw opened wide.

“I already did, this is from something else.”

“Oh, Of course.. If I were in your position, I’d be very frustrated too.” 

“Just know you fought bravely,” You looked over Iida as she had sat down on his right, “like I said before, you may have lost the match but you have won in other ways.”

“Yeah but..”

“There’s no time to wallow,” Tokoyami’s voice cut through her pitiful words, “Use this next match as a source of encouragement.”

“You guys are right, I will!” She nodded, thanking you all.

“So wise..” Iida sighed.

 “I CAN FEEEEL THE ANTICIPATION IN THE STANDS! AND THAT’S BECAUSE THE SECOND ROUNDS FIRST MATCH IS GOING TO BE EPIC! It’s the guy who won his first rounds by a landslide and literally left half of the audience frozen! Hero courses class 1-A, Shoto Todoroki! Verses! The kid who almost walked out of his first match, but made a good comeback by showing us his impressive moves!  Hero courses class 1-A, Izuku Midoriya!”

“How do you guys think this will go?” Iida asked.

“It all really depends on whether or not Midoriya can get in close.” Tokoyami spoke, giving his take while staring intently down below

“That’s just it, how can he dodge all the ice?” Ochako wondered, 

“He doesn’t have to dodge it really, just blow it away.” You mumble.

“Blow it away?” She looks at you.

“With his quirk, I mean it wouldn’t be smart for him to do it that way..”

“Because every time he uses his quirk, he breaks.” Tokoyami finished for you. 

You nodded at him, but you looked away from his gaze feeling uneasy. You had to go up against him sooner rather than later, and nerves for that match outweighed the ones from your fight with Mina. 

You just weren’t sure what a weakness of his could be, he was too strong.

“Both of these heroes in training have been front runners in the sports festival, but which one of rivals will advance to the next round! Get ready, you’ll have to watch and find out! BEGIN!”

You looked back at the match, watching as they started immediately. Izuku using a huge wave of power to blast back Todoroki’s ice, you winced, seeing the bruised and broken finger. You watched as Todoroki only maintained his place in the arena by placing ice behind his body, smart thinking.

You might have to learn from that.

“Oh crap! I’m missing it!” Kirishima’s voice broke you from your thoughts, turning to see him run into the stands.

“Hey good job making it into the second round Kirishima!” Denki grinned.

“Thanks man! Looks like I take down Bakugou next!”

“I’ll kill you.” 

You laughed, feeling embarrassed once eyes looked over at you.

“Don’t laugh yet!” Kirishima pointed at you, “You’re my next target! It’s so unmanly always having you beating me! So get ready!”

“That’s only if I win against Tokoyami,” You look at said boy, who only looked back at you.

“It’ll be a difficult match, one that I am looking forward to.”  He said before turning away.

Difficult for him? You wondered why he’d say that.

“Either way, I’m still going to take you down! Man to man!”

“I’m a girl, Eijirou.”

“So? Girls are manly!”

“Then, does that make Bakugou manly?” Kaminari laughed as the blonde glared, however keeping his focus on the match below.

“Shut up, I’ll kill you too.”

“But seriously! It’s crazy how both you and Todoroki have moves that blast the whole stadium! Must be pretty nice..” Kirishima sighed.

“Plus, you don’t have to pause between attacks.” Sero huffed.

“It’s not as easy as you think, ya morons. If you overuse your muscles you risk tearing them apart. If you sprint too much you run out of breath. Quirks are physical abilities too, they can get worn out. You can’t just use them nonstop.”

“It makes sense when you put it that way,” Kirishima muttered, “I wonder if that’s how Midoriya thinks he’s going to beat Todoroki.”

“Deku always has some sort of plan,” You throw in with a grin looking back onto the battle, “But Todoroki is really powerful too, it’ll be a crazy fight! One hell of an endurance match that’s for sure, see which one breaks first.”

“I think Midoriya is already a bit broken, Hakamata.” Kaminari snickers, talking about Izuku’s fingers.

Bakugou tsk’d, eyes narrowing even more while his arms tensed at the way you were praising the others. He glanced over at you for a moment, and saw how wide your eyes were. The battle below having your complete attention, how interested you looked. He didn’t care what the hell you thought was cool or not, you could do whatever the fuck you wanted. His eyes snapped back to the fight below to see Deku throw a punch, a huge gust of air pressure following. His jaw tightened, he didn’t need to focus on what you were thinking during his match with Uraraka, no, he needed to focus on that damn Deku.

When Todoroki rose up from his walls of ice, you bit your lip in anticipation. Izuku’s arm now looked badly bruised, and it was most likely due to a fractured or broken bone because of his power. Todoroki looked fine, like he was ready for such an attack. Just when he sent off another wave of ice, just when you thought it was over, Deku counter attacked.

You gasped in shock, seeing how Todoroki skid back a few steps, the ice wall he had been using was breaking as he did. Even while he tried to create more, they only continued to burst apart until he barely managed to catch himself at the edge.

The battle continued, blow after blow the two fought and you couldn’t tear your eyes away. Both were on their guards, and while the fight held passion, you could tell they were slowing down.

Especially Todoroki, you stared on in worry at his sluggish movements, this wasn’t like him. You knew the frost covering his body must have some reason to do with it. You thought back to the conversation he had with Midoriya and you concluded it had to be because of his father. There was no other reason why he wouldn’t give it his all.

They started a conversation down below, and it wasn’t hard to miss it. It almost made you cry at how strong Izuku’s resolve was, and how beat down Todoroki seemed. You may not know exactly what Todoroki had gone through, but you were possibly one of the only people who could come close.

At least you escaped your ‘hero’, Todoroki was still unfortunately living with his.

“IT’S YOURS! YOUR QUIRK, NOT HIS!”

The arena lit up with flames, so bright and hot you could feel the immense heat from where you were. 

“Amazing..” You said breathlessly, watching the flames dance around the area. The warmth spreading through your body felt cozy, and you were surprised at the fact it wasn’t overbearing.

It was pleasant.

Until a booming voice broke the sounds of battle, Endeavor speaking to Shoto as if he were nothing more than a weapon. You grit your teeth, anger coursing through your veins causing you to stand.

“Endeavor suddenly shouts words of encouragement? What uh, a doting father?”

“Doting father my ass.. More like a monster.” You felt eyes on you but you couldn’t stop yourself from running to the rail and yelling.

“SHOW EVERYONE YOU’RE YOUR OWN PERSON TODOROKI! YOU’RE NOBODY’S PUPPET! SHOW THAT BASTARD HOW YOU’LL BEAT THIS ALL ON YOUR OWN.”

Your body was shaking, from past memories and from anger on his behalf. You didn’t care if at this point Todoroki knew you were listening in on him before, or if your classmates were giving you weird looks, or even if your dad heard your shouts. He’d know why. You didn’t even care that you were getting a piercing stare from Endeavor, the only thing that mattered was that smile from the boy below.

All you wanted was for Todoroki to know that he had people on his side, someone who knows that he is great all on his own with no help from anyone.

The ending was as you expected, large and loud. They went at each other full force, cement flying everywhere as the air pressure was too much to handle from your standing position. You were trying to hold onto the railing but your grip loosened, causing you to yelp as you slid back till you fell into the seats, Iida immediately trying to help make sure you weren’t hurt. You paid him no mind, staring in shock until the air pressure faded and the arena stood still with a bated breath. You gulped, the slight pain in your back forgotten as you tried to see through the abundant amount of smoke.

“What happened just now? What the heck is up with your students?”

“The air around the ring had been thoroughly cooled down and then rapidly expanded when heated up.”

“Wait, that’s what caused the explosion!? How hot did that fire get! Jeez, I can’t see a thing, is the match still going on or what?”

Once it cleared up a bit, you saw Izuku leaning up against the wall outside of the ring, slumped over till he fell flat on the ground.

“There! Midoriya is.. out of bounds! Todoroki wins! He advances to the third round!”

You saw Shoto standing in the arena and couldn’t believe your eyes. You knew this was going to be a great match, but you didn't realize just how good it was going to be. They both put up a great fight, and you felt for both boys.

Izuku for not winning, but also for Todoroki who had won, despite what he said about not using his fireside. You saw Izuku being taken away on a stretcher and stood back up, intending on going to Recovery Girl’s office.

“Hakamata where are you going? Uraraka?” Iida asked, watching as Ochako stood up alongside you.

“To see Deku right?” She asked you, and all you did was nod.

“Then let me accompany you both!” Iida stood as well, his frame towering over you both.

“Me too, kero.” Tsuyu walked out of the stands with the rest of you.

You guys quickly made your way to the office, not even bothering to knock as you slid the door open.  A chorus of your shared shouts filled the room, startling the man inside who was standing along his bedside. 

You stared in confusion, knowing that this man looked familiar in some way, but you were unsure of what to think.

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you sir.” Ochako bowed her head in respect at the man, who just gave a shaky wave back.

“Oh, uh, yea.” He turned and made eye contact with you, and you must’ve still had a look on your face because he jumped and turned back to look at Izuku.

“He is in no state for visitors.”

“Ugh, hey you guys. Shouldn’t you be watching the matches?” Midoriya cracked open an eyes, and gave a wobbly smile.

Relief flooded your system, causing you to forget the man.

“The arena was far too damaged, so they had to take a quick break for repairs.” Iida answered.

“That was a scary match Deku!”

“It was really something else to watch, kero.”

“Yeah Izuku, that was a pretty awesome battle. Even if you didn’t win, you were amazing.” You smiled at him.

His lips went wider at your praise, even though it hurt to be smiling this big, he couldn’t help it. Although he heard your shouts of encouragement for Todoroki, wasn’t he doing the same thing? He couldn’t feel upset over something he was trying to accomplish.

“Th-thanks, heh.” He winced as he moved, causing Recovery Girl to tsk as she began to shoo everyone away.

You gave a tiny smile, filled with relief and a bit of distress.

“You’re reckless, but you’ve got guts Deku. Just, try not to get hurt so much okay?” You laughed as he pouted at you, letting yourself be guided out with the others. 

Izuku watched you go, ignoring the looks he was getting from his mentor. He had other issues to deal with right now, no matter how much he wanted to focus on you-he wouldn't let himself get distracted.

“I’m sorry…”

[chibistarlyte]

one day

He's okay, Katsuki has to remind himself again, almost afraid that Todoroki might slip right through his calloused fingers if he doesn't hold on tight enough. 

ayyy here’s a follow-up to my previous todobaku fic some days, this time from bakugou’s pov as he deals with the aftermath of todoroki’s depressive episode.

thank you to kat @sunshineijirou​ for the beta, as always! <3 ilysm!

fic can be read below the cut or here on ao3! you can also find a masterlist of all my bnha fics here!

.

If someone had told Katsuki, when he woke up this morning, that by this afternoon he’d be spooning with his secret crush after said secret crush jumped down to his balcony in some kind of depressive fit…

Suffice to say that Katsuki would have never believed it, even if his life depended on it.

Yet here he is, arms wrapped around Todoroki Shouto’s waist and his face buried in the back of his neck as the other boy sleeps peacefully in his bed. Or, Katsuki assumes peacefully, judging by the light snores and soft, lax features of Todoroki’s face.

Well, Katsuki thinks as he breathes a warm sigh against the other boy’s still frigid skin, at least Todoroki is safe now. It would be an outright lie to say that Katsuki hasn’t been worried about Todoroki all goddamn day, ever since he saw the other boy sitting precariously on the edge of his balcony and uttering uncharacteristic existential thoughts earlier that morning. 

Just a little bit ago, when Todoroki had jumped...Katsuki’s heart had all but stopped in his chest.

Unconsciously, Katsuki tightens his grip around Todoroki and digs his nose deeper into the soft skin at the nape of Todoroki’s neck, breathing in his scent. He’s okay. He’s okay.

Katsuki jolts as he hears a loud buzzing noise, his palms sweaty and sparking in his alarm. He quickly retracts his arms from around Todoroki, afraid of burning the other boy with his Quirk. Katsuki belatedly realizes the sound is his phone vibrating on top of the headboard. Wiping his sweaty hands on his shirt as he sits up, he reaches for his phone and unlocks it with a click. A notification bubble at the bottom of the screen tells him the class 1-A group chat is active with messages right now.

Midoriya: hey guys has anyone seen todoroki-kun since class was over? he left before i could catch up with him and he hasn’t answered any of my texts and when i went to his room to check on him he didn’t answer… Uraraka: i haven’t seen him since our rescue exercise, deku-kun. are you sure he came back to the dorms? Midoriya: i mean i’m not positive but where else would he go? Iida: Todoroki-kun has been acting strangely all day...perhaps he heeded our advice and sought out Recovery Girl? Kaminari: nah bruh, i was at rg’s office after class for my broken wrist, i didn’t see him there Tokoyami: I can have Dark Shadow scope out the area and look for Todoroki, if needed. Yaoyorozu: I am worried about Todoroki-san. He wasn’t acting like himself today, and I fear to think what would happen if he’s alone right now. Jirou: which room is his???? i can listen in and see if hes there Kirishima: he’s on the fifth floor, right above bakugou’s room

Katsuki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Great, now Todoroki has the entire class worried after him. They’d send out a goddamn search party if Katsuki doesn’t say something.

So he starts typing.

Bakugou: relax u damn extras, icyhot’s with me

There’s a short pause in the chat as several people begin typing and soon enough the messages flood right in.

Midoriya: what???? todoroki-kun is with you, kacchan?! Jirou: shit, dude, he must be fucked in the head to go hang out with explody Kirishima: is he ok?? are u guys in ur room bakubro? Mina: DID U KIDNAP THE POOR LAD, BAKUGOU?!? Uraraka: can we come see him?

Katsuki lets out a frustrated sigh and thumbs back a response.

Bakugou: if any of you assholes even think about coming and pounding on my door, i’ll break ur fuckin fingers. halfie’s asleep so you chucklefucks need to keep quiet

As if to make sure the group chat hadn’t somehow awoken Todoroki from his slumber, Katsuki looks away from his phone to the sleeping boy next to him. Not much has changed in the last few minutes, save for a slight twitching of Todoroki’s nostril and the fingers of his right hand slightly curling and unfurling.

When his phone pings with another message, Katsuki sees that it’s from Kirishima. He opens their text messages.

Kirishima: hey bakubro is everything ok?? i mean not just with todoroki but with u too? Bakugou: i’m fine, shitty hair. not sure about him, tho Bakugou: he was pretty messed up when i brought him in Kirishima: what happened? Bakugou: the crazy fucker jumped from his balcony down to mine like an idiot, coulda hurt himself Kirishima: … Kirishima: ...was he trying to Kirishima: u kno…

Katsuki doesn’t want to think about the reasons behind Todoroki’s actions, behind the other boy’s strange and despondent behavior all day. He knows Todoroki’s got family issues, with what he’d overheard at the sports festival in their first year. Then, after having dinner at the Todoroki household and interning with Endeavor all those months ago, Katsuki has been able to put the pieces together well enough. 

He scoots down the bed until he’s lying down again, his arm against Todoroki’s back as he holds his phone up to text with Kirishima.

Bakugou: idk, he hasn’t told me anything, just basically been a zombie the whole fuckin time. he was so cold and he wasn’t usin his quirk to warm up, bastard’s lucky he didn’t get hypothermia or some shit Kirishima: do u need anything? Bakugou: i told u, i’m fine Kirishima: ok...but srsly, i’m here for u if u need to talk...or if i can bring you anything, yeah? Bakugou: yeah, yeah, i get it hair for brains Bakugou: ...thanks Kirishima: i gotchu bro

Katsuki sets his phone on silent before locking it and placing it up on his headboard again. He rolls onto his side, chest against Todoroki’s back once again, and reaches around to touch the back of his hand to the other boy’s forehead. It still feels colder than it probably should, but warmer than before, which Katsuki counts as progress. 

He settles his arms around Todoroki’s waist again and scoots closer until they’re flush against each other. Katsuki tangles his legs with Todoroki’s to help warm them up—Todoroki’s bare ankles feel cold against Katsuki’s own heated skin.

He's okay, Katsuki has to remind himself again, almost afraid that Todoroki might slip right through his calloused fingers if he doesn't hold on tight enough. 

"You really fuckin' scared me there for sec, half-n-half," Katsuki murmurs against the back of Todoroki’s neck, feeling the moisture of his own breath bouncing back at him from their close proximity. "The hell did you think you were doing?" he asks the air, knowing full well that Todoroki is dead asleep and can't hear a word Katsuki is saying. 

And thank fuck for that, because Katsuki can't seem to shut himself up and continues speaking.

"Don't you realize how many people care about your stupid ass? How important you are to everyone? Fucking Deku, Round Face, Four-Eyes, Yaomomo...me…"

Katsuki clenches his jaw to stop his mouth from betraying him any further. He has no idea what's compelling him to such honesty. Perhaps it's because he knows Todoroki can't hear him, knows that he won't have to suffer any unfortunate consequences of having his feelings laid bare in front of him. 

Just...seeing Todoroki fly through the air, even if it was only for a few seconds...Katsuki could have forever lost the chance to say all the things he wishes he were brave enough to admit. 

He sighs through his nose, his teeth gritting painfully against each other as he tightens his jaw even more. Fucking coward, he chastises himself.

"Bakugou?"

Katsuki's heart stills in his chest as Todoroki’s confused, sleep-laden voice drifts into his senses. Todoroki stiffens in his grip, muscles tense and taut, almost as if he's afraid of something. Unconsciously, Katsuki's arms tighten around the other boy’s waist and he finds his hands pressing almost protectively against Todoroki’s abdomen.

"I'm here," he answers belatedly, nuzzling his nose against Todoroki’s skin—still too cold for his liking, but ever so slowly getting warmer.

Todoroki exhales, going boneless in Katsuki's arms. There's a minute shift of his head as he digs his cheek into the pillow. "I...didn't dream it, then…" he says a bit absently, sounding so, so tired.

"Dream what?" Katsuki asks softly, his fingers tracing odd shapes on Todoroki’s skin.

"That I was here...with you," Todoroki clarifies, letting out another exhale that made him deflate like a balloon with too many leaks.

Katsuki is unable to keep from snorting. "Couldn't very well let you leave after you just—" He stops himself from finishing that thought, because the idea that Todoroki really might have been trying to off himself was too much for Katsuki to handle. "Look, you could barely walk and were hardly coherent enough to make it back to your room. I couldn't let you leave and end up hurting yourself or some shit."

Todoroki lets out a breath that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. 

"Don't you fucking laugh at me, you bastard," Katsuki says without any real threat. "Sorry for fucking caring about your stupid ass."

It's then that Todoroki starts to pull away, curling in on himself. He untangles his legs from Katsuki's and worms his way out of Katsuki's arms until he’s at the edge of the bed, the two of them no longer touching. 

Katsuki's heart sinks into his stomach. Damn it, there goes his stupid mouth ruining everything again.

"You shouldn't care about me," Todoroki says, sounding miles away. 

"Why the fuck not?" Katsuki bites back, not liking where this conversation has turned. 

"I'm not worth it," Todoroki repeats his words from earlier, and they still feel like a knife stabbing right through Katsuki's chest. 

He doesn't understand why someone like Todoroki could ever think he's worthless.

It makes him...angry.

"What the fuck is it gonna take for you to realize that you are worth it?" Katsuki says in a harsh whisper, trying to reign in his rage. He knows if he explodes now, he might chase Todoroki off and cause him to do...something…

Todoroki doesn't answer.

Against his better judgment, Katsuki reaches for Todoroki’s back. His fingers barely graze the black t-shirt he's wearing before he notices a significant drop in temperature. Frost begins crawling up the shell of Todoroki’s ear.

"No, no, stop that," Katsuki says as he frantically scoots closer. He envelops Todoroki in his arms once again, willing his own body heat into the other boy to cancel out the freezing power of his Quirk. 

To Katsuki's surprise, Todoroki shifts and rolls over so that they're face to face. Tears snake sideways down Todoroki’s face and melt into the pillowcase. Katsuki feels incredibly guilty for still finding Todoroki so beautiful.

Katsuki's hands find the small of Todoroki’s back, his fingers tangling in the cotton of his t-shirt. 

"I'm sorry," Todoroki chokes out, squirming and wiggling until his face is hidden against Katsuki’s chest. 

"Nothin' to be sorry for, icyhot. We all got shit to deal with," Katsuki mutters into Todoroki’s hair, wanting to lay a kiss along the part of red and white. But he refrains.

Todoroki just nods. Katsuki can feel his tears soak into his shirt.

They stay like that for what could have been moments or hours, for all Katsuki knows. When he hears Todoroki’s breathing even out again, and notices a faint warmth pulsating through the air, Katsuki sighs in relief.

It's amazing how one day can change so many things, he muses. Katsuki's world has been tilted off its axis in the span of mere hours, making him reevaluate almost everything he's come to learn about himself, about Todoroki. He knows, without a doubt, that he cares for the idiot in his arms. His moment of clarity had come the second Todoroki had let go of the railing.

Katsuki swears to himself that he'll make Todoroki realize how much he matters to everyone. And, maybe one day, how much he matters to Katsuki.