#just decided to put the last three days into one post b/c that feels easier

[unfortunate-arrow]

𝒲𝑒𝑒𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝓇𝒶𝓎𝓈 → Day 6: Fair at Winbourne

event hosted by @endlessly-cursed, who also owns Adonis (and Prim…)

Minerva’s intentions for the fair had been to collect gifts for her mother and siblings. Instead, she’d somehow wound up next to Adonis Demiurgos… again. He really had become her shadow, which was a bit frustrating as he’d seemed to become a different person or had decided to show her a completely different part of himself. And he was frustratingly helpful when suggesting gift ideas for her numerous siblings.

𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞…

Simon had decided to stay back at the house, and answer some correspondence while resting his elbow the best he can.

William was in search of paints as he’d been thinking about trying oil paint instead of charcoal.

Niamh was in search of gifts for her parents and enjoying the sweets.

𝒲𝑒𝑒𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝓇𝒶𝓎𝓈 → Day 7: Masquerade Ball

Minerva’s mother had selected the dress for the masquerade, inspired by one that her great-grandmother would have worn during the regency era. And like clockwork, Minerva ran smack into Adonis Demiurgos who looked frustratingly good in his regency-inspired garb. He was also frustratingly charming and Minerva couldn’t place why he seemed so different, why everything was changing so damn quickly.

𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞…

William had slipped out of the crowded ballroom, standing on one of the terraces. It was cold and the snow had started to fall, with flakes sticking to his hair. Yet, it was still a respite from everything and a chance to keep his head clear.

Simon slipped through the crowds, holding conversations with the various lords and ladies and daughters that were in his path. He danced a few dances, mainly country dances, and snuck out fairly early that night, his elbow still in a lot pain.

Niamh hung on the outskirts of the crowds, in a sort of wallflower state that was one of her own choosing. She didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, metaphorically and physically.

𝒲𝑒𝑒𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝓇𝒶𝓎𝓈 → Day 8: Lunchtime & Goodbye

Simon left fairly early, with an apology to Miss Gray for not participating more in the events due to his injury. Prim had gently refuted the apology, with a subtle acknowledgement that injuries were different for Simon than they were most others.

William also left fairly early, offering a quick word of gratitude to Prim. They shook hands in a show of good faith, and William left after that.

Minerva left right after lunch, offering Miss Gray her gratitude and extending a word from her mother.

Niamh left shortly after lunch, hugging Prim and giving her gratitude.

[twistedtranslations]

Cater Diamond - Full of Lies

You can unlock this story by getting Cater’s SSR Scary dress

Big thanks to Rym and Apollo for proofreading!

Translation under the cut

Chapter 1

Main street

/Notification

Cater: Oh? A message on MagiCam? Who would've thought it was that girl! How nostalgic~ The picture those ghosts took at Ramshackle dorm made our college's Halloween event trend -> Jumping onto the bandwagon and posting a lot -> Huge success for Cay's follower-catching strat! So far it's been going well but… Mixed within the comments and DMs of my new followers are a lot of old aquaintances. Even some classmates from middle and elementary school are here.

Cater: "Hey! It's been a while! Oh, would you like to come to our college? Cay welcomes every single one of you! You can always come over to hang at NRC's Halloween event!"

Cater: And now some emoji full of feelings!  (^○^)♪ (ゝω・)☆　d(’ｖ｀*)b

Cater: Everyone is really so casual and easygoing~ Well, it's easier on me, so I'm not complaining.

???: HEY!

Cater: Where did that loud and rowdy voice come from? I've got a bad feeling about this…

Front Gate

Sebek: Humans, don't crowd around the young master! Get out! Leave!

Boy A: Hey, what are you doing, sweptback bro! Don't interfere with our Draconia Challenge.

Boy B: We're putting our lives on the line to show our bravery by uploading a picture of us touching The Malleus!

Boy A: Huh, since when did Malleus disappear?! It's that sweptback bro's fault.

Boy B: Don't be so angry. After all the effort of having a sweptback, let's show the world a huge smile on that face!

Sebek: For humans of your social standing to use the name of the Lord of the esteemed Valley of Thorns in vain…Besides, my hair is swept back like this so I have an unobstructed view to find those like you who behave rudely towards my young master! You shall receive punishment for insulting the Draconia… no, for insulting the young master. My thunder shall shock you all to bits! HAAAAA...

Cater: Okay, stop! I'm part of the Halloween Committee. It's forbidden to fight. Why don't you try talking to this lad if something's up?

Sebek: Don't interrupt me, you frolicking human! I will shock you to bits as well!

Cater: Won't you create a scandal for the Draconia family if you were to harm an ordinary human with magic?

Sebek: W-Well… You're right. Besides, didn't you just say you were part of the Halloween committee? Both the young master and master Lilia are both performing the same duties… They ordered me to listen to the orders of the other committee members. Ok, I shall talk this out.

Cater: Even though you are crossing your arms and puffing your chest out, you are being apologetic right? Anyway, these are our college's precious guests. They have no intention to harm Malleus.

Sebek: These magic-less weaklings were making a spectacle bothering Young Master with a toy. I cannot forgive that!

Cater: Malleus is like super famous, and he's an admirable being, right? So just for this festival, it should be fine to interact with our guests as a little fanservice right?

Sebek: Stop messing around. The young master is a dreadful being who makes everyone kneel and bow down to him. AND THAT'S WHY I WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS SIDE AND PROTECT HIM ALL MY LIFE!

Cater: You're just obsessed!

Boy A: Hey, interfering our Draconia Challenge aside, what are you two squabbling about?

Sebek: Hm? You humans are still here? I told you to leave.

Boy B: Huh? You've got some nerve, talking rudely to us like that!

Cater: Come on guys. Why don't we take some pictures together since it's finally Halloween! We, Heartslabyul are those who rise from the soil in the darkness, the underlings of the night~

Boy A: Wow! Now that you mention it, you do look real good for the camera!

Cater: Cheer up everyone and gather! Let's decide on a pose~~~ Happy Halloween~

¨*shutter noise*

Cater: (Ugh… This is exhausting)

Chapter 2

Classroom

Kalim/Cater/Lilia: *Sigh*… I'm tired….

Cater: This year's Halloween was exhausting. Mainly due to our guests being rowdy..

Kalim: It was fun entertaining the guests, but I was really troubled because Jamil got in a foul mood.

Lilia: Even we, three most gentle boys, have been worn down. The other students must be at the limits of their patience.

Everyone: *Sigh*…

Cater: Now that you say it, by chance all the members of the light music club are also part of the Halloween Committee. Let's have our usual relaxing tea time while also discussing some countermeasures.

Kalim/Lilia: Agreed~

Cater: I got this! Trey's home-made pumpkin pie! It's moderately sweet, so it's my favorite!

Kalim: I have kunafa. It's a cheesecake from the Scalding Sands. It's delicious when it's hot!

Lilia: Oho, these are all sweets befitting of Halloween. As the last one, I have prepared this. Licorice!

Cater: You're always bringing the same thing! You know me and Kalim don't like that.

Kalim: The smell makes my nose shrivel up~

Cater: But you know, since it's black, it does feel like Halloween. Oh, right, let's take a picture together. It's super charming to be in costume and have themed food.

*shutter noise*

Cater: #TheBestHalloween #SelfmadeCostume #HomemadeTreat #LightMusicClub #NRCHalloween

Kalim: The best? Didn't you say you were exhausted earlier, Cater?

Cater: I never said it wasn't exciting and for things like SNS, isn't it better to exaggerate a bit?

Lilia: As expected of you. We live in a period where everyone is connected all around the world. It is most wonderful to spread happiness instead of complaints.

Cater: Oh. The picture I just uploaded got an amazing response! 

*notification*

Cater: Another message from that girl. Was she the kind to keep track of people's activities?

*ringing noise*

Cater: This time it's a call. (How persistent…)

Kalim: Cater, is it from one of your friends? You can pick up if you want.

Cater: Hm~… More like an acquaintance from the past? But it's alright? We're at a very important meeting, after all.

Lilia: We are only eating sweets, taking pictures and uploading them to MagiCam though…

Cater: It's the age of social media where everyone can keep in contact at their own pace, you don't have to go through the pains of having to response in real time to a phone call.

Kalim: Do you have that many people who want to get in touch with you? You're so well connected Cater~

Cater: Well, if you look the amount of aquaintances I have, that might be true? My dad's a banker. The bank he works at has branches all over the world. Therefore, whenever he transferred to a different branch, our entire family would move with him. We moved once every two years, so I kind of feel like a pro at quickly packing things?

Lilia: Commonly said, you are a family who moved a lot for the sake of the breadwinner.

Kalim: So the reason why you have so many friends is because you have travelled around the world since young.

Cater: Yeah, the girl just now said we are friends as well. Having to change schools frequently, I got to meet more people compared to someone staying at one place. From the best to the worst… a lot of people. However, they all had something in common.

Kalim/Lilia: …?

Cater: If I left there, they remained there. That's why I'd rather have a casual and happy time with everyone than to deepen a friendship. It’s like a circus troupe, you know, having fun hanging with people all over the world and then leaving. That's why MagiCam is the best! People from my school from three years ago contacted me out of the blue. My social circle is expanding as well. Cay is getting popular!

Kalim: Even if they're far away, you don't have to hold back you know? I got it! I'll lend you my magic carpet, so you can visit your friends whenever you want.

Cater:… I expected no less of you, Kalim. I'll take you up on that offer next time.

Lilia: I feel like I understand you.

Cater: Hm?

Lilia: The relations between humans are eternal. They are things that cannot be severed. In a new place with no trace of your existence, new relations will continue to be forged. That in itself is nature. However, I think the more precious a relation is, the more lonely it becomes. Why does it feel that way? I have lived a long life but the reason is still unknown to me. But just as Cater said, there may be a perfectly logical explanation for not getting too attached to one person in particular.

Cater: Lilia, what got into you suddenly? What I wanted to say was-

*ringing noise*

Lilia: Hello, this is Lilia speaking? What business do you have?

Cater: He just casually picked up the phone during our conversation.

Lilia: Oh, Sebek. What is it? You are so loud. Right now, I am in a meeting with Cater and Kalim. WHAT?! MALLEUS?!

Kalim/Cater: ?!

Chapter 3

Hall of Mirrors

Silver: Stop pushing. It's forbidden to enter the Hall of Mirrors.

Man A: Huh, really! I came all the way to the Isle of Sages to see Malleus Draconia.

Man B: We are doing the Draconia challenge now! Why can't we enter~

Girl C: He’s inside right! An actual Draconia, the Actual Malleus!

Everyone: MALLEUS! MALLEUS! MALLEUS!

*Lightning and thunder*

Silver: It's a rare event that Master Malleus is participating in. He also agreed to interact with the guests... For it to come to this... Everyone, it’s better if you leave. You have angered master Malleus.

Man A: I paid a lot of travel expenses, did you know that? This is the price of fame.

Everyone: MALLEUS! MALLEUS! MALLEUS!

Exterior Hallway

Cater: Did the visitors who wanted that  MagiCam glory end up angering even Malleus himself?

Sebek: Yes. At first he was gentle and calmed me down when I got angry… but a fool grabbed Malleus by the horns and made fun of him by saying "Look! It's a bicycle from the olden days!"

Lilia/Cater: Gh!

Cater: I don't know if they're brave or just reckless. Were the dark clouds and thunder rampaging in the sky above the Hall of Mirrors due to Malleus' anger? You don't think he overblotted, right…?!

Lilia: Do not worry. Using that amount of magic power shall not make him overblot. He is simply irritated. Back when he was young, mountains would be destroyed by his lightning whenever he threw a tantrum.

Cater: Hahaha… that's on a totally different level. I guess it was a good idea to have Kalim fetch the professors.

Sebek: Upperclassman Vil noticed something was up and isolated the young master. He also casted a defensive spell so the tourists wouldn't be harmed. And it seemed that Upperclassman Jade is persuading the angry young master with some unique methods... Even so, those humans who can't seem to understand the gravity of the situation keep stirring up the young master, they're uncontrollable.

Lilia: This means we must use our last resort. We must put in effort to suppress the onlookers and avoid the worst situation.

Cater: Wait a second, Lilia. I thought of something. It's not like people there dislike Malleus or anything. Despite that, it doesn't mean that they like Malleus as well... They're just interested in trends. Just like my old acquaintances.

Lilia: ?

Cater: First, I'll take a picture of Lilia, who's wearing the same clothes as Malleus!

*shutter noise*

Cater: Next we use something catered to influencers. We'll elongate Lilia's picture with a photo editing app!

*swiping on phone*

Cater: Now we just add some text to finish it up. And then upload a cropped version to MagiCam!!

*Phone SFX*

Cater: #AWildMalleusAppeared #DraconiaChallenge #UnexpectedlyAtSportsGround #NRCHalloween

*Phone SFX*

Hall of Mirrors

Man A: H-Hey. Look at the Draconia challenge tag.

Man B: It seems he's at the Sports Ground now. As expected of Malleus. He's much faster than we are!

Girl C: Okay. Everyone, let's move!

Everyone: YEAH!

Silver: What happened? Master Malleus should still be in the Hall of Mirrors.

Cater: Fu. With this, I hope the storm has passed…?

Vil: Good grief. Accidents are an unavoidable part of stage plays. Letting yourself get influenced by the guests is so amateurish. My work here is done. I will return to the dorm to straighten up my appearance.

Jade: My, that was a close call. Malleus is extremely powerful. I persuaded him to the best of my abilites, trying to get him to understand. But there was no one to turn to if it had failed. Well then, I will also return to my station. I wish everyone a wonderful Halloween.

Malleus: I caused many disturbances between different racial groups during a mere school event. I should restrain myself more…

Sebek: The young master has done nothing wrong! It was the fault of those inferior humans!

Silver: The young master told us to avoid hostility between fae and humans. Why are you getting more hostile?

Sebek: WHAT DID YOU SAY SILVER!

Lilia: Malleus. Did you forget our promise from long ago? Call for us when the tranquility in your mind is disturbed.  Even if we are not related by blood, we are still a family. Got it?

Malleus: Lilia… My apologies. To everyone.

Everyone: …

Cater: ….Family…huh.

Flashback

Lilia: But just as Cater said, there may be a perfectly logical explanation for not getting too attached to one person in particular.

Flashback ends

Cater: (That was full of lies. For a guy who grew up and lived in the same place, he never had to deal with rebuilding relations over and over…He would never understand my worthless and meaningless feelings.)

*ringing*

Cater: Hello, Trey. What's up? Huh? Are we doing our rehearsal for our night show at the stamp rally now? And Deuce, who is also part of the Halloween Committee, was at his wit's end due to the lack of manpower. So Ace is helping him out? Darn, Ace is definitely going to extort me for a favor later!

Cater: Argh! And is Riddle on the verge of a rampage? I'll be back soon, Trey. Please calm him down! I am currently at the site of the biggest crisis yet of this Halloween Week! No, for real! I'm not lying. That's why you don't have to be so cold to me, 'kay? URGH, TREY, YOU'RE SO CRUEL!

Cater: Now that Diasomnia's turmoil has settled, let's change the mood and continue on with work. In any case, we’ll still separate after the fourth year… It would be different if I repeated a year though. Anyway, I should just enjoy the moment to my heart's content! I'll surprise everyone with this charming skeleton costume! I'll show them what I'm capable of!

Cater: Happy Halloween!

[blu-joons]

DAD MONSTA X A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Chae Hyungwon

A ⇴ AFFECTION

It doesn’t matter where or when, Hyungwon will always be ready to be affectionate with you. He loves to attack you from behind and wrap his frame around yours whilst holding onto tightly to your bump to keep it secure.

B ⇴ BUMP

Whilst he can never understand how hard your bump is for you, Hyungwon tries his hardest to be as much as help as possible to you. He’s always reading up on techniques and tricks that he can try in order to ease some of your pain, he’s willing to give anything a go, no matter how big or small of an impact it has on you.

C ⇴ CRAVINGS

Your cravings often leave Hyungwon fascinated, unable to make sense of why you enjoy certain combinations. He never wanted to make you feel bad for craving certain foods, but Hyungwon couldn’t understand sometimes the urge inside of you that thought combining two of you least favourite foods together would make you like them.

D ⇴ DUE DATE

After your due date had passed, you particularly began to worry what was going on. Hyungwon, as ever, was calm, and trying to keep you calm too as you fretted. He ended up looking up things that you could do to help induce labour, having been saved by research multiple times before. You ended up losing count of how many walks the two of you went on around your street for the next few days until eventually your waters broke.

E ⇴ EMOTIONS

For the most part throughout your pregnancy, Hyungwon was the much more relaxed of the two of you, taking things day by day. Around others, especially the other members, Hyungwon let go of his nerves a lot more, confiding in them as he didn’t want to worry you. He was very protective of you, and most of all he was determined to keep you relaxed and not give you something else to worry about in him.

F ⇴ FAMILY

Your families had always gotten along incredibly well with one another, and your pregnancy was the final piece to really bring the two sides of your families together as one. They loved hosting huge family events to celebrate that the two of you were about to become a three, spending the time getting to know each other, with your mother’s often giving you both plenty of pieces of advice from their own experiences too.

G ⇴ GENDER

Hyungwon left the ball in your court when it came to deciding whether you were going to find out what you were having. He didn’t mind too much either way, but when you were the one who was carrying the baby, he thought it would be nice to let you decide and see if you wanted to know what you were carrying or not.

H ⇴ HEARTBEAT

The sound of your baby’s heartbeat always managed to leave Hyungwon stunned. It was like a switch sometimes, you’d watch his eyes disappear as he got lost in the sound of the beats as if they were the only thing he could listen to in the room, eventually having to be brought back into the room by you shaking him.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Whenever he came home from work, Hyungwon would always tell you that he loved you, usually then surprising you with some of your favourite snacks from the store too. You hated being alone whilst you were pregnant, and so he’d always make sure to make it up to you with a few of your favourite things.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

If he can tell that something doesn’t feel right in a situation, Hyungwon will always slide his arm around your bump. He’s not always jealous in doing so, but he is incredibly wary, quick to put a stop to something before he can tell that it’s going to make him feel jealous. He hates people being too close to you and your bump, especially so when he can tell that the last thing that you want is too many people surrounding you.

K ⇴ KICKS

Hyungwon loved to go in search of a spot where he could find a kick almost as soon as he wrapped his arms around you. You loved how his hands would roam, refusing to help him find a spot until eventually his hand would brush over the smallest of kicks, settling there for some time until your baby had had enough.

L ⇴ LABOUR

He hated seeing you in labour, the feeling of your eyes looking across at him when a contraction hit you was a sight that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to forget about for some time. As much as you both knew that labour was a part of pregnancy that would give you your little one, it didn’t make it any nicer for you to go through, or for Hyungwon to watch, wishing that he could make things easier for you.

M ⇴ MORNING SICKNESS

There were just a few seconds most mornings between Hyungwon waking and Hyungwon appearing in the bathroom. As soon as he’d see an empty side of the bed, he’d know where you were, running straight into the bathroom and wrapping his arms around you, helping you to get it all up without a single complaint.

N ⇴ NURSERY

Even though you try and get involved with the nursery, Hyungwon always sits you back down, refusing to let you get too involved as he doesn’t want to run the risk of you hurting yourself by not being careful.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Hyungwon is obsessed with your nose, as he stretches over your bump often to kiss you, it’s the perfect spot for him to land his kisses on, especially so whenever he notices your cheeks going bright red as a result too.

P ⇴ POST BIRTH

You’re barely allowed to do a thing aside from take care of your baby for a little while after you gave birth, despite trying to assure Hyungwon that you were alright. He could never be too careful at the best of times, but when your little one needed you the most, he was more than happy to pick up responsibility for everything else.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

Hyungwon likes to think he knows you pretty well, so when he can see that you’re struggling, he’ll ask if you want help. He knows it’s only a matter of time before you stop being stubborn and accept his offer as well.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Whenever he’s away on schedule, even if it just for a few hours in the day Hyungwon will carry an item that the two of you have purchased for your baby as a reminder of why he’s spending the time away from you now as well as reminding him of the reason he’s working so hard, to give his baby the best possible life he can give.

S ⇴ SCANS

It usually ends up being your scans that accompany Hyungwon around as they’re the most practical. Several fans often point out that they can see the photos on the Idol Radio desk during broadcasts, obsessing over how excited Hyungwon is to become a dad with several comments being left to let him know he’s adorable.

T ⇴ TEST

You’d felt unlike yourself for some time, and despite putting it off for as long as you could, eventually you decided to take the test that you kept in your bathroom as a just in case with Hyungwon when he got home.

U ⇴ ULTRASOUND

He would make sure he had the whole day to spend with you whenever you had an appointment, making sure that you weren’t rushed at all.

V ⇴ VISITS

Whilst you were happy to welcome guests almost as soon as you got home, Hyungwon was a little more reluctant, keen to get into a bit of a routine before you allowed yourselves, and your baby, to start being disturbed.

W ⇴ WAITING

Most of the time, Hyungwon is patient and calm, but around some of the others, he’s a little more impatient when it comes to waiting for your arrival.

X ⇴ XXXX

Hyungwon knows how much you love his lips, and so when you’re feeling down or not quite yourself in pregnancy, he’ll make sure that he kisses you and teases you as he knows it’s the best way to get you smiling once again.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his everything, Hyungwon promised to do whatever he could do to protect you.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

More than anything else you were jealous of how easily Hyungwon managed to sleep at night, whilst you’d lay awake for hours, he’d be tucked up beside you, blissfully unaware of how much more of a challenge you’re having with sleep.

---

Masterlist

[wrctings]

Dick Winters x reader | The best way to recover

for all of my fellow soft dick winters stans 🧡

“Is being mess officer that horrible?” Nixon asked lightly, trying to get a smile out of his friend as he made his way through the kitchen, avoiding army cooks to join Winters.

As usual, the clinking melody of cutlery knocking together was reverberating through the room, bouncing off the walls and mingling with the voices of the men whom avidly scraped their ration of food off their plates, which had somehow led the atmosphere of dinnertime to become congenial over months. After the long hours of draining, at first even almost unbearable preparation that they endured daily, the soldiers of the 506th had started to form a bond that not only got them through the toughest of training sessions, but also manifested whenever they were bestowed a bit of free time. In between running to exhaustion, teasing and munching on flavourless beans together, camaraderie was growing day after day among Easy Company.

“I’d rather not be here right now,” Dick replied shortly, only giving the brunet officer a brief glance before his eyes drifted back toward the window pane. As a Lieutenant, the redhead was accustomed to watching over his men with care, even moved as he witness their efforts bear fruit and theirs friendships grow tighter, but on that evening his thoughts and attention were directed toward something else — someone else, rather. As the pouring rain drummed outside, accounting for the definite arrival of Autumn’s brisk weather and carpets of brown leaves, what Dick would have otherwise considered appeasing had now become the cause of his worry, distracting his diligence from the task that Sobel had given him when he designated him mess officer. 

“Dick, what’s happening?” Lewis frowned, sensing that the other man’s tone smacked of particular concern — he could tell that something was off by the hardened look on Winters’s face, the officer pacing up and down without truly acknowledging what was happening all around. 

“Sobel made Y/n run Currahee right before dinner. Guarnere and Toye went with them, but they’re not back yet.” 

“Shit, it’s pouring out there,” Nixon cursed under his breath, shaking his head at the news. He now understood his friend’s state of mind much better, knowing how much you meant to him. “How long?”

“Twenty minutes. They should be back soon,” Winters’s gaze was shifting from the window to the door, the man intensely hoping that you and your two companions in misfortune would finally show up at last. 

“They’ll be okay,” Nixon put a hand over Dick’s shoulder, giving him a few comforting pats. “They’ve run that mountain dozens of times.” 

“I know, Nix, but have you seen the weather? We don’t need soldiers falling ill now,” Winters added roughly, in sharp contrast with the composure of his usual behaviour. 

“Dick, Y/n is a good soldier,” Nixon spoke in a quieter voice, understanding that Dick was most of all worried about your well-being. “And they’re with Guarnere and Toye, the three of them can help each other out.” 

“Yeah.” The redhead eventually nodded, turning around to get a glimpse at the other officer. “Why did he made them run the forsaken mountain now...,” he muttered, jaw clenching as his eyes narrowed. 

Lewis’s lips parted, the man about to agree on the deplorable nature of Sobel’s methods, but before he had time to lash out at their Commending Officer the door finally swung open and ricocheted off the wall, revealing three panting figures. Soaked to the bone, Bill, Joe and you stepped inside, getting your helmets off as you took in the warmth of the room, shivering in your drenched gear. 

Soldiers cheered as you walked up to the kitchen, giving you pats on the back and congratulating you for getting through the task, to which Joe was bitterly swearing that he would “always hate that son of b*tch” and Bill grunted by your side, sharing your exhaustion. You couldn’t have been more grateful for your friends’ presence, Guarnere and Toye following you in solidarity after Sobel had commanded that you run Currahee, but you didn’t feel like you had enough remaining strength to join Toye in his breathless attacks against your CO. All you could strive for at that moment were a hot meal and a place to collapse in, your legs threatening to cave in with every additional step — while braving the downpour your equipment had felt heavier than ever, painfully weighing down on you for miles. 

When he saw you come in Dick’s first instinct was to rush up to you, attempting to help out best he could, but the interdiction to surrender his post in the kitchen left the ginger-haired man no choice but to helplessly watch you get a plate of beans and bread, then taking a seat alongside Toye and Guarnere with your uniform wet and hair sticking to your skin as you took a hasty mouthful of food. You hardly payed attention to anything around you, trying to stop yourself from shaking while filling your empty stomach with the lukewarm beans that you had been served, feeling Bill also quiver beside you.

The time to depart came after you had just finished eating, the company being ordered out of the canteen. Rushing out as fast as possible to find shelter without getting sodden in the rain, the men rapidly emptied the room, leaving no one but Dick, Nixon and the cooks behind; the First Lieutenant still having to face their CO before he was free to go, Lewis disappeared just in time for Lt. Sobel to march up to Winters, requiring his daily report. In the meantime, you headed back to the barracks, eager to get a change of clothes and finally be able to have a break — after this evening, you couldn’t wait to tumble upon your bed, your sore muscles sending you clear signals that they demanded to rest. 

However, an unexpected visit awaited you a short while later. As you were carried forward amidst the flood of soldiers — everybody willing to take refuge from the icy droplets of rain piercing their skin with coldness —, you caught a glimpse of a figure coming toward you from the side, making way among the company. Soon enough, the blurred lines turned into a familiar shape, then becoming clearer as the man got closer to you, and in a few seconds Lt. Winters stood at the side of the crowd you were part of. His dark green iris fixed upon you, he made a small movement of the head when you met his gaze, as though asking if you could join him. After quickly looking around to be certain that your retreat wouldn’t be noticed, you slowed down, letting men overtake you, and stepped to the side until you found yourself close enough to Dick.

You strode away from the barracks without a word, but you rapidly recognised the direction you were taking — it wasn’t long until you reached the officers’ lodgings, the building’s outline illuminated by a beam of light flickering through the windows. Opening the door, Dick let you in first before closing it behind the two of you, making sure that no one had seen you leave together; Nixon and Harry were visibly missing as well, probably enjoying a game of cards in the headquarters.

The redhead immediately went to his footlocker afterwards, not even bothering to take his side cap off as he rummaged through the piece of furniture, and only spoke after he handed you the blanket which he had retrieved. You took it gratefully, teeth still chattering in spite of the warmer temperature of the room.

“How are you? I learnt that Sobel sent you off after you had already left...” he let you know apologetically, helping you unbutton your wet uniform.

“Cold,” you gave him an honest answer, resting the blanket on the bed nearby while starting to get your soaked clothes off. “But Bill and Joe made it a lot easier.”

“Still, ordering you to run Currahee by yourself in that weather..” Dick harsh voice however broke off as he was about to enlarge upon his disapproval of Sobel, deciding at the last moment that it wasn’t worth it — he would much rather focus on you.

Kneeling, he unlaced your boots, your own fingers being too numb to get a firm grip on the shoelaces, and went back to his footlocker while you took off the shirt that you were wearing under your uniform; it hadn’t been spared from the rain, unpleasantly clinging onto your body and sending chills down your skin. Dick then handed you the sweater, trousers and socks that he had taken out while politely looking away — which you always found irresistibly sweet since you were in relationship and had been intimate before —, leaving you all the needed time to change into dry clothes. Only when you were done did he finally came close to you again, the worry that had been painted over his face slightly alleviated now that you were safely shut away from the rain and cold.

“Is it better now?” Winters inquired caringly, his heart swelling as he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of you in his clothes, fitting too big for your smaller frame. It was as though he had given you a real part of him, aside from the discreet kisses and affectionate words that you had to find a way to exchange throughout the day.

Dick greatly admired your strength — the way you held your head up, kept your spirits firmly focused even though your first months in the army had been rough since you had to constantly prove your worth to the men —, but the intimacy that had developed between the two of you allowed him to see another side of you, just like you could access another side of him. With you, he was not afraid to be himself — he was not afraid to care, because you cared too, and understood. And you were not afraid to let your guard down — to let him help you, just like you also helped him.

“It’s so much better. Thank you, Dick.” You gave the redhead a touched smiled, deeply grateful for the trouble he put himself into just to make you feel better. “Hey, you haven’t even taken the time to take care of yourself,” you then added in soft indignation, it being your turn to look after him. You reached for his side cap, cautious not to wrinkle it, and folded it neatly while Dick took off his jacket.

The Lieutenant ran a hand through his hair, quickly fixing it, and gave you a smile that revealed the creases happiness shaped around his eyes. Although you ought not to be seen inside the officiers’ barracks, such an intrusion being formally forbidden, for once Dick couldn’t have payed less attention to the rules — if risk was the price to pay for spending time with you, he would assume it.

“You must be tired, I’m sorry if I’m cutting your hours of sleep shorter,” Winters still apologised, getting up to hang your wet uniform so it dries out overnight. “I didn’t want to let you go like that.” He sat back down, taking your cold hands into his, warming them up. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too, Dick,” you squeezed his fingers, a strong, fuzzy feeling coating the inside your chest while you were peering into the man’s eyes, their pale greenness reminding you of everything safe and loving. At the end of the day, after bullets had miraculously flown by and spared your life, Winters was always whom you came back to — though so far away from home, you had found something in him that couldn’t be immured between four walls. 

“Come here,” the redhead added, gently inviting you into his embrace as he opened his arms, and you ensconced yourself right up against him, pecking his lips tenderly before you rested your head against his chest. In spite of the barrier of cloth that the Lieutenant’s uniform represented, you could hear the beating of Dick’s heart, each of its pulsions holding onto the frail life that you all tried to preserve from the brutal grasp of death. You tried to keep the thought of it away from your mind as much as possible, standing by the same principles as the ginger-haired officer. In the field, you didn’t have time to mourn; and outside of it, time was too precious to attempt predicting the breath that the following day would suck out out of one of your fellow soldiers. Although the both of you had at first tried to fight it, thinking ahead about what devastating consequences falling in love would bring be one of you killed in combat, you couldn’t have come as far as you had without each other. Even the most violent of human struggles hadn’t managed to turn your heart into the same steel that made up your bayonets. 

“Aren’t Nixon and Harry going to come back?” you whispered regretfully, your fingers mindlessly running through the slightly damp hair at the back of Dick’s head.

“I asked them to wait for a bit.” Winters gave you an implicit answer followed by a little smile, stroking your forearms as he kissed you on the cheek. “They’re busy playing games and gambling anyway.”

“I see,” you smiled back, closing your eyes as you let yourself go all against Dick, the regular rising of his torso lulling you as you felt much warmer, your preceding running of Currahee now already seeming like a distant memory. 

It was in each other’s arms that the two of you eventually dozed off, soothed by the fluttering rhythm of the rain pounding against the windows of the barracks and the cosiness that enfolded you, making you hope for many more evenings like this. Even on the chilliest and most straining of days, the space between Dick Winters’s arms was a place for your heart to rest in. 

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Dragon Egg (Parts 4-6)

Long post because I neglected uploading for a few days. For @secrettunnelatla

It is all about fibs and careful twists. Change a few names and situations and suddenly Ozai is just a nameless man. A vague set of lyrics and verses on a page. A collection of words that shape the story of an abuser and his victim.

It is all the easier, picturing Zuko as the victim. Surely it can’t be her. Father treats her well; he has given her this recording studio. He has rewarded her for her three new singles with a newer car. He has given her nothing but praise for surprising him with so many new songs all at once.

Father buys her so many new stage outfits and lets her pierce her tongue and decorate it with genuine ruby. She has everything. He loves her. He is proud of her. It is only a hiccup, a lapse in judgment when he shows anything but affection. It is the alcohol that makes him smash the windows on her car. She doesn’t remember what he did it for but she knows that it was the alcohol because he has a brand new car waiting for her the next day.

And she drives it to Seicho’s house to deliver her birthday present. She will open the box and find a skateboard and tickets to see her show. Seicho is a delight and a somber presence all at once. In many ways, she reminds Azula of TyLee and that stings.

Sometimes she misses TyLee. Misses that sweet smile. Misses playing make believe in her backyard. Once upon a time, TyLee was going to be her drummer and they were going to tour from nation to nation in a bus with diamond studded tire caps. Once upon a time, she, Mai, and TyLee were going to be the rock trio that the world wouldn’t be able to forget.

And once upon a time, Mai decided that she liked Zuko more and TyLee decided that she liked Mai more. Zuko always had been the more lovable of the two. But Azula is the more successful. She has made a promise to herself that they would regret abandoning her for him when her faces is everywhere and Zuko is a sellout.

Seicho invites her inside, her friends are already there, a girl named Song, a girl named Jin, and a younger boy named Hide.

“Have a slice of cake or a whack at the pinata.” Seicho offers. She holds out a bat, wrapped with skull patterned duct tape and studded with nails. “You can have the first swing.”

Azula is sure that it would only take one good swing for the nails to shred the pinata. “I’ll have a slice of cake. I can’t stay for too long. I have a show.” There is a part of her, a very large part of her that wants more than a taste of this world. A simpler world where goals and aspirations aren’t make or break. “But I had to drop this off for you.”  The skateboard in the box is expensive, it is more than enough to make up for not being able to stick around for the party.

Seicho’s face falls and Azula tells herself that it is only because she hasn’t unwrapped the gift yet. She knows that the smile is forced when she replies, “thanks, Azula. Maybe you can join us next year.”

Regret doesn’t hit her in full until she has already stepped back into her car. By now it would only be rude to change her mind and ring the doorbell again. Maybe this is why it was so easy for TyLee to choose Mai and for Mai to choose Zuko; she tends to choose her career over companionship.

She promises herself that after Audio of Agni, she will make more time for social obligations.

.oOo.

The stage doesn’t quite have its thrill tonight. The energy itself is excitedly frantic, vibrant with enthusiasm but it doesn’t quite reach Azula. It doesn’t matter, she is good at pretending. She knows what she is supposed to feel like--she has felt it before when the band was brand new, when Mai and TyLee were her backup vocalists.

So she emulates the vibe she is supposed to give off. She pretends like the crowds cheers and shouts and claps mean everything. She pretends like their liveliness gives her life too. Pretends like she can feel the music in her body and soul the same way everyone else does. But she only feels empty.

Empty and alone. A disorienting feeling when she is looking upon more faces than she can count.

All the while she sings lyrics that make her stomach squirm and her heart ache. If her father knew that he is the inspiration behind them, she’d have another song to write.

She doesn’t understand why singing these songs hurts so much. She is singing about Zuko and her father, not about she and her father. Or maybe she isn’t singing about her father at all, but a nameless father and his nameless child. Hell, it can be a mother too. Just a vague musical rendition of a dreadful parent who is merely neglectful on a good day.

It dawns upon her that she is the victim that she sings of when she finds herself getting teary on that stage. They think that it is part of the act. They think that she is a stellar actress on top of a damn good lyricist.

She doesn’t correct them. The only thing that sells more than sex is sorrow.

Things change after that. There is more attention, more interviews, more magazine photoshoots, and more simmering resentment from From Ashes To Phoenix. She basks in the limelight and relishes in Zuko’s envy. And with the spotlight shining so brightly, she can no longer see the darkness that had helped put it on her.

****

Seeing her on TV is hell. Even when she isn’t right in front of him, flaunting her riches, talents, and everything he could have had, she is still able to mock him.

These days, he can’t escape her. She is everywhere; on the radio, on the magazines, on the TV, and on posters. He even sees her in the hallways of Caldera Capital High. He sees her there, though she has been pulled out months ago for a private education tailored to her personal schedule. It is just one more thing for him to envy. He has to manage his band and school, of course his progress is slower. Sometimes stunted altogether.

And for his troubles he averages C’s and D’s--B’s if he is lucky--and music that is half done and not nearly what he had imagined in his mind. He knows that he is going to have to make a choice and he thinks that he has begun to make that choice a few months back. He has lost track of how many times he has stayed after class to discuss his grades. He wonders how uncle will take to him dropping out. Should he turn in the forms that are tucked away in his backpack and seal the deal there won’t be any turning back. He will have to make it big. It will be his only chance.

A gaggle of fangirls fawning over the brooding lonewolf with the choker and black nailpolish can only take him so far. It doesn’t leave the hallways. But he does, he evades the teachers and hall monitors and climbs his way onto the roof. Mai is already there, he can see the smoke trail.

“Want one?” She offers.

“I’ll take a drag from yours.”

Mai passes the cigarette. “Have you told your uncle yet?”

He takes his drag and passes it back. “No.”

Mai gives a little hum. “Make a decision and commit, Zuko. Either you tell your uncle that you’re dropping out or start hustling to fix your grades. You have to succeed somewhere.”

He flinches. She sounds all too similar to Azula. She sighs. “Sorry. I just worry about you, Zuko. Indecisiveness is going to ruin you if you let it.”

There are a lot of things that are going to ruin him if he lets them. To some degree he thinks that he is already ruined. That he should just fester in the failure. “I could use another drag.”

“Sure.” Mai replies.

He takes his drag and watches the smoke curl up to the mid-afternoon sky. Mai leans back with her hands behind her head.

“What are you doing up here, Mai?” He asks. “You can actually pass your classes, why are you letting me drag you down?”

“Zuko, I’ve never felt more...up. Sometimes I just need to get out of there.” She spares a glance to the door. “It’s suffocating and smells like cheap perfume and testosterone. I smoke at least a cigarette a day, gym class is pointless anyways.”

He chuckles. He feels right when he is on the roof with her. When he is with her in general. Pessimistic as she nihilistic as she is, he feels the most hopeful when he is with her. Even if it is just for a moment, Azula’s shadow doesn’t envelop and shroud him. Even if it is just for a moment, he can forget about she and her antics and everything her overachieving has helped steal from him. Even if it is just for a moment he can see, truly envision and believe in a reality where he strums his guitar before an arena full of adoring, audio hungry fans.

He makes a decision, he is going tell uncle that high school isn’t for him. That he is meant for...that he deserves better things. As the sun reaches its zenith, he decides that he will truly work for his dream.

****

The darkness floods right back in when she is away from the stage. When the lyrics that echo through the venue become a reality. She doesn’t know exactly what she has done. Maybe she has done nothing at all. He very well may just be in a bad mood. She is texting Seicho when he enters. “Hello father.” She greets with a smile.

He returns it with a blank face and folded arms. “What is this?” He slaps a piece of paper onto the table. He nods for her to read it over.

“It’s a…” she knits her brows, “a printout of our ticket sales.” She looks up from the paper. “What’s wrong with it?”

“How many tickets were sold for the first show?”

“It was sold out.”

“What about all of last week’s shows and the week before that?”

“Sold out.” She says again.

He nods. “Yes, sold out. What about last night’s show?”

Azula swallows, “1,684.”

He drums his fingers on the table. “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

She thinks that it could be a lot of things; that night had also been the night of the high school homecoming baseball game, people might have been short on cash, the time slot had been a tad earlier than usual. All of these answers seem like excuses--she should have a performance more compelling than baseball, she should have had a performance with spending money on, she should have pushed for a more favorable time slot. “It was a smaller venue.” She says at last much.

Wrong answer.

“I was selling out all of my shows.” He slaps the page and she flinches. “These aren’t metal legend numbers, they aren’t even Audio of Agni numbers.”

She wants to point out that he probably hadn’t been selling out all of his shows when his band had been as young as hers is. Instead she very quietly promises, “I’ll do better, father.” She must and she will because he is right. Only 1,684 tickets sold in a venue that could hold 2,000 people? That is embarrassing.

“Maybe if you weren’t fooling around with that tattoo artist… you won’t be seeing her anymore”

“Wh-what?” She sputters. “No, that’s not it! Seicho isn’t a distraction!” She realizes too late that she has gotten too loud.

She closes her eyes and tenses for the strike that is sure to come. When it doesn’t she cracks an eyelid. He hasn’t even closed the distance between them. She allows herself to relax. It is only then that his hand snakes out and finds her cheek.

Reflexively her own hand comes to rub it. She bites the sides of her cheeks and swallows down the cry that is waiting to come up. More than anything she hates knowing that she has failed him. That she has disappointed him. These moments are few and far between, she makes sure of that. But they are still there and she has just given herself one more ill mark. Has put herself one step closer to ending up like Zuko. “I’ll do better.” She says again when she finds the words.

It was never like this before. She glares at the empty bottles. It was never like this--he used to love her. She used to be is gleaming little star. He would yell at her, sometimes until his face went red, but he has never hit her before. She looks at the bottles, but it might be that she has finally made enough mistakes for him to see her as a splendid failure instead of his rising rockstar.

She takes out her phone and taps the screen a few times before holding it up, “see no more distractions. I deleted her number.” She forces a smile. “I needed to focus on memorizing my new material anyways.”

At last he returns the smile. The tightness in her chest slackens, giving way to an optimistic and relieved fluttering in her tummy. He ruffles her hair, “that’s my girl.” He gives her a small hug. “I should know better than to doubt you.” He smells so strongly of booze.

But she has satisfied him. She is still is gleaming little star.

[shipping-isnt-morality]

On ending friendships with antis/fanfom assholes

So I get a lot of asks abt friendships fracturing in the current fandom, and feeling bad about being unable to just “block and move on” when dealing with people they know. and I have an experience with that that i think might help people feel less alone in it?

So: once upon a time a few years ago I made a new friend in a fandom I was really excited about. We were both writers who were active in the still-small community and who loved each other’s work. In the course of about a week we added each other on skype, started collabing on a fic, started a new edit trend in the fandom, and talked basically daily.

And then she asked me to edit a story, in which a character that I read as an abuser gets together with his victim and they are much happier and sexier together than the main ship.

I tried at first to just say I didn’t like the ship and didn’t think I was the person to edit it, but on pushing admitted that I read him as an abuser in canon and wasn’t comfortable with how dismissive her fic was of his behavior. She took this.......... poorly. Basically said I was accusing her personally of being an abuser, because she related to this character, and that I was trying to manipulate her into only writing the pairing we had in common. I said “no, I just don’t want to beta this fic for you”, and we..... sort of dropped it.

But - and you may have noticed this about me - I can’t leave a topic well enough alone if my life depended on it, and her insistence that I was reading him as an abuser to spite her annoyed me, so I wrote a post breaking down basically everything the character had done so far, how his ex acted and spoke around him, and how those look a lot like abusive behaviors and trauma. And... well, let’s just say just about everyone in the tumblr fandom saw it within the next couple days.

I spent about 12 hours getting positive responses and “I don’t agree but I appreciate the thought you put into this”. And then his stans found me.

I.... don’t think I need to go into how this went? We know the song and dance; I had to shut down my askbox, locked my social media profiles, stopped accepting Skype friend requests, and endured a ton of people telling me that I was A) calling them, personally, abusers or B) was trivializing abuse and was the worst kind of tumblrite or C) should just choke and die already. Sometimes all three, it was a very fun..... 72 hours or so.

Anyways. After the initial backlash, there was a group of about 8-9 people who were still stubbornly going after me and anyone associated with me on every platform they could find. (I would find out later that they made a group chat and all became friends over their hatred of me, which is kind of flattering and kind of fucking obnoxious.) One charmingly implied, after I admitted to being an abuse survivor, that either I was lying or I deserved it. My new friend, who’d been mostly silent through all this, was mutuals with all of them.

I went to her with their behavior, and she said, essentially, “it’s not my business, you said stuff that really hurt them” and I said “I literally wrote meta, it is not my fault that they took it this personally. I’m a real person, this character they’re defending isn’t.” and she.... wasn’t willing to talk to them, or ask them to stop, or even just not share my content with this group (god, remember when tumblr’s blocking features were even worse somehow? Me too). After about a week and a half I decided I had to just block her too and move on with my life, because I was miserable and anxious and wanted to unlock my damn accounts.

It hurt. I guess that’s what I’m getting at. I knew her for maybe 20 days total, and we barely spoke for the last 10, and yet it still hurt, y’know? It can really, really suck, to have people you connect with turn out to be totally willing to hurt you, or leave you out in the cold, because of an opinion about fiction. If I was younger when this happened, I may well have backed down on my opinion to save the friendship. As it was I had to get a LOT of reassurance that I hadn’t done anything wrong and didn’t deserve what happened.

This isn’t something with a grand solution. It sucked, I got hurt, I had to end a friendship for my own health and lean on my other friends while I got over it. If I’d known her for months, or years, I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been. “Block and move on” is ok advice when it’s strangers shouting at you; it is infinitely harder when it’s mutuals, friends, people you trust and like doing this to you. I have nothing but sympathy for people who struggle with leaving friends because those friends are being assholes about fandom opinions. Cutting friends off is hard, of course it’s hard, and it’s a personal decision. Just because it’s technically easier to cut someone off online doesn’t mean it’s emotionally easier. Be kind to yourself about this stuff.

[makomori]

ONE | NEW TERRITORY (Brand New Story)

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI x OC

Nishimura Yua has to take her nephew to his first rep practice with the Tohoku Tigers at Shiratorizawa Academy. Ushijima Wakatoshi is filling in for the assistant coach on said team.

She’s recovering from a nasty breakup and he’s reeling from a stunning finals loss against the Jackals.

Yua’s drawn to his composure and honesty.

Wakatoshi finds her warmth and tenacity intriguing.

It’s the start of a Brand New Story; can they heal from past hurts and endure new challenges in order to help each other trust and love again?

Length: 2.4k words

It's been nearly a month since the Schweiden Adlers lost to the MSBY Black Jackals in the V.League finals. Wakatoshi is reflecting on his performance when he receives an interesting proposal from his old coach.

Much love to @chuckhansen​ for encouraging my chicken little ass to post this. After 24601 years, I finally finished a chapter! And it’s about your favourite opposite lefty, Ushijima Wakatoshi! I absolutely ADORE him, and I’ve been running with this idea since March. The title is from Exile Generation’s song, “Brand New Story”. I highly recommend checking it out b/c it’s an amazing BOP. 

This is eventually going to be a multi-chapter, Ushiwaka x OC fic b/c our Super Ace deserves all the love in the world! This is definitely a rough draft, and I welcome constructive feedback or any reactions! I’m catching up with the manga, so I’ll be making changes along the way. I hope you enjoy reading b/c I had so much fun writing it. 🥰🥺

Wakatoshi’s morning jog was hard. Physically, he could have easily run for another ten kilometers, but his mind kept pulling him back to the safety and warmth of his unmade bed. Annoyed that a steady and peaceful rhythm was out of his reach, he grudgingly circled back to his complex. But by the time he made it up the steps to his apartment, he was breathing hard.

Looks like he needed more rest after all.

Before going in, Wakatoshi took note of the nearly empty bowls of kibble and water beside his front door. He needed to refill them soon. There were several stray cats in the neighbourhood, and he always tried to feed as many as he could while he was home. They gravitated to him when he first moved in, which he thought odd because he didn’t have any experience with cats, or any animals, as a child. He enjoyed their company, though, as they were independent and showed affection once a bond was formed. He wasn’t the easiest person to interact with, so he appreciated the simplicity of his relationship with them.

Sighing, he unzipped his sweater and tossed it absently on the dark green counter top. The apartment was bigger than initially wanted, but his mother insisted that he’d regret it if he chose something smaller. She said that it was always good to have extra room in case people came over. He wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t have much time to entertain considering he would be on the road for games. However, when he realized the extra space would mean that she would always be comfortable during visits, he quickly put an offer in for the apartment.

The troublesome feeling of guilt tugged at him as he thought of his mother. He hadn’t spoken to her in a few weeks. Not since the Adlers loss to the Jackals in the V.League finals. Actually, he needed to touch base with several people in addition to her. Leaning against the counter, he thumbed through his phone until his messages popped up.

20 unread texts stared at him earnestly. The latest one was from Kageyama.

We should practice soon. Let me know when you’re free.

No apologies or words of comfort. He appreciated that. It seemed that Kageyama had already cut his losses and was getting ready for next season. He only knew of a few people that bounced back that quickly; Kageyama’s stubbornness and adaptability was an invaluable asset on the court.

The next message was from Romero.

Hey, Lefty. Drinks on me next time.

Wakatoshi wasn’t a huge drinker, but he enjoyed spending time with Romero. He was supportive and sociable, traits that he hoped would come easier to him one day.

Tendou was next.

Don’t get too down, Toshi-kun! I’ll buy you all the Hayashi rice you want the next time I’m in Sendai.

That made him chuckle. Tendou must be really worried about him if he was willing to take a break from his chocolatier apprenticeship just go out for dinner in their hometown.

The rest of the messages were of a similar nature. Sympathies and offers to hang out when he was available. People were genuinely concerned for him, and he was grateful. He hoped he didn’t worry his them too much with his lack of response.

Normally, he responded to any messages immediately, but he wanted a bit of peace after a long season. A month, however, was pushing it. After downing a glass of orange juice, he decided to respond to them methodically after a short nap and a hot shower. He flopped ungracefully on the couch and stretched his long legs out, calves protesting slightly at the movement.

Wakatoshi closed his eyes and hoped sleep would come, but his thoughts were pulled back to the final set against the Jackals. Everyone knew the match would be a close one. The players on both teams were talented, competitive, and exceedingly stubborn. The Adlers had been the champions for the last three years, but the Jackals were eager to claim that title for themselves. Once the team found out who their opponents were, they prepared to play hard through all five sets.

Because the Jackals would do the same.

Wakatoshi was more than excited for the match, as he always relished the chance to play the best of his contemporaries. He was especially looking forward to paying Hinata back for snatching his last chance to go to the Spring Tournament seven years ago. Wakatoshi couldn’t wait to test the redhead’s newfound skills against his own. They had both evolved into formidable players since their last encounter.

But the Jackals still surprised him, despite having played them twice during the regular season. He had spent hours analyzing their strengths, weaknesses, and overall playing style. The Adlers were deadly in their precision and technical prowess, but the Jackals matched that with their unpredictability and tenacity. Miya’s charisma leant itself well to his unconventional spikers. Bokuto, Sakusa, and Hinata were the personification of baseless confidence and relentless determination. Wakatoshi’s most disliked traits.

The Adlers won the first two sets: 25-22 and 25-23.

The coaching staff was fairly confident that they team would take the final set and the match itself, with his, Houshiumi’s, and Romero’s spikes at textbook perfection. But Wakatoshi knew better. From across the court, he felt the energy shift in the Jackals’ team huddle. He could tell Hinata was rallying his team with some choice words; Bokuto was getting worked up, along with Sakusa. They weren’t going out quietly, and frankly, Wakatoshi would’ve been disappointed if they didn’t put up a fight.

The Jackals took the next two sets: 28-26 and 25-23.

Like most players Wakatoshi didn’t like being pushed to the fifth set, as switching courts halfway could effectively kill any hard-earned momentum. He scored the first few points of the set, connecting with Kageyama’s tosses like he always did. But a feeling a dread crept to the front of his mind once he felt that shift of energy again.

It started with Hinata and quickly spread to the rest of his team. The time he spent with Oikawa in Brazil had changed him. He was faster, smarter, and even more fearless than the first time they played. Wakatoshi had to stop himself from admiring his skill and presence. Miya had a grin on his face every time he set to the redhead. Few setters had the chance to work with a wing spiker like Hinata.

The Jackals disrupted the flow of the game with two hard volleys to the back corners of the court on the second hit. The placement confused the back-line players because the ball’s trajectory was on that razor-thin line of in and out. Indecision cost them two crucial points. Then, Sakusa forced him to dig for a few a tips that were just outside of his reach.

And shockingly, he was forced to tip when he realized that he couldn’t power his way through an impenetrable three-man block. It was sloppy and picked up with ease by the libero. This was new territory for him, and he normally wouldn’t have minded, but the unforgiving pace of the fifth set didn’t allow him enough time to adjust to their tactics.

The Jackals won the final set. 25-23. Hinata’s final kill blasted through a hole through his, Sokolov’s, and Romero’s outstretched arms.

Wakatoshi had never been one to dwell on the past, but he couldn’t help but remember his final loss against Karasuno seven years ago. He looked over at Hinata, who was currently dog-piled under his teammates and coaching staff. Their celebration was drowned out by the roaring and unruly crowd, shocked at the defeat of the defending champions.

The little redhead managed to best him again.

No. He was the Little Giant now.

Wakatoshi was still recovering from the outcome when Romero gently nudged his shoulder and said it was time to line up. The man’s darkly stubbled face was sweaty and flushed, probably not unlike his own. But he gave him a solid thump on his back and complimented his spikes before walking past, and it was all Wakatoshi could do to hold his head up high and line up with the rest of the team.

That was a month ago, he thought angrily, resting his forearm over his eyes. The pressure was somewhat comforting. Move on. He hated that he was still dwelling on this loss. That wasn’t like him. He felt out of place for the last month, unsure of how to process his feelings. He hated that even more. Why? He was already a champion, so why was this loss different? Was it because he failed in his duty as the Adlers’ Ace?

Or was it because Hinata beat him again?

His last coherent thought before he finally drifted off to sleep was a fierce promise that he would continue to push forward and improve.

No matter what stood in his way.

~

Riiiiing. Riiiiing. Riiiiing. Riiiiiii—

Wakatoshi turned over, causing the phone on his chest to fall face down onto the floor. The loud thud brought him back to reality. He rubbed his eyes gently with the heel of his hand. How long had he slept? And who was calling him? He briefly considered ignoring the call, but then remembered his decision to reach out to people again. Might as well start now. But by the time he reached his phone, the ringing had stopped. His brow furrowed when he saw the name pop up for the missed call.

SAITOU-SENSEI.

Curious, Wakatoshi sat up and pressed the call button.

“Hello?”

“Saitou-sensei, it’s Wakatoshi-kun. I’m sorry I missed your call.” He smiled when the warm, familiar voice echoed in his ear.

“Oh, not to worry! I’m sure you wanted some peace and quiet after a busy season.”

“Yes,” he stated, leaning back on the plush cushions. “It’s good to be home.”

The excitement in his coach’s voice was instant. “Ah, I was hoping you’d say that! I know it’s last minute, but would you be interested in helping me coach a middle school rep team on Saturday?”

“Coach?” He echoed. Saturday was two days away.

“Just for this Saturday,” his sensei clarified. “My assistant is sick and having an extra pair of hands at practice is never a bad thing.”

Wakatoshi nodded in agreement. Having two coaches was always a benefit to the players. He learned as much from Saitou-sensei as he did Washijiou-sensei during his time at Shiratorizawa. “Where are you holding practice?”

He could hear the smile in sensei’s voice. “Home court. Shiratorizawa Academy. It’s from 1 to 4 in the afternoon.”

Wakatoshi’s eyes widened. He was going to already going to say yes because it was Saitou-sensei asking, but that solidified his decision. ��If it’s acceptable, I’d like to be there at 11 to warm up. I haven’t played in a month.” He paused and tried to think of another way to help. “I can set the net up as well.”

“That would be great because I don’t have a manager yet.” Sensei sounded relieved. “I was planning on coming early and doing it myself, but I’m in Tokyo until Saturday morning.”

Wakatoshi shook his head. It wouldn’t take long for sensei’s young team to realize how lucky they were to have him as a coach. He was always willing to do everything to ensure everyone would have a good experience. “Please leave it to me.”

“You’re still reliable as ever, Wakatoshi-kun. I’ll take you out for dinner as a thank you.”

Wakatoshi’s ears grew hot. He never expected anything in return for helping. “T-that’s not necessary, sensei,” he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. “This is the least I can do for the years you spent coaching me.”

“Ah, now you’re embarrassing me!” Sensei’s laugh was infectious. “It was a joy to help you grow into the player you are now. You played a hell of a game last month.”

Wakatoshi’s fingers tightened over his phone. Did he really play his absolute best? If he did, it still wasn’t enough to win against Hinata and—

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Sensei’s steady voice effectively cut through Wakatoshi’s negative thoughts and insecurities. “I know you hate losing.” The smile returned to his tone. “But when you do, there’s no shame in losing to the best of them. It just happened to be the Jackals that day.”

Wakatoshi swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He didn’t realize how much he needed to be reassured that losing didn’t mean he was inadequate or lacking. He was just used to shouldering the burdens and pressure that came with being a top player. Not to mention the high expectations he set for himself. But that left no room for failure, and it was exhausting.

“Besides, you love playing more than you hate losing, right?” His sensei sounded hopeful, imploring. “I’m sure you’ll feel better once you get back on the court.”

Wakatoshi’s eyes widened. His love for volleyball was lost in the wake of self-pity. Suddenly, Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. He missed practicing until his arms and hands were red. He missed the satisfaction of hearing the ball land in the opponent’s court after a spike or a tip. And he missed growing and learning with his teammates.

“I-I’m looking forward to it,” Wakatoshi said softly. “Thank you, Saitou-sensei.” He still wasn’t the best at expressing his feelings, but he knew that sensei understood him enough to understand that he was grateful for the words of encouragement.

“Hey, now! You’re a coach now too, Ushijima-sensei. Get used to it. You’ll be hearing it a lot from the players on Saturday.”

Wakatoshi frowned. He was only filling in and didn’t deserve that distinction. “But it’s only for the day—”

His sensei laughed again. “Well, that still counts! I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“Goodbye, sensei.”

Wakatoshi placed his phone on the coffee table. The heaviness he felt in his chest throughout the last month was gone. Instead, he felt restless. Just like all the other times he took on a new challenge. It had been a long time since he trained anyone. Perhaps he could show these young players that falling short of a goal wasn’t the end of the world. And having a solid support system was essential to growing as an individual and as a player. After embracing his newfound insights, a smile threatened split his face in two.

He was definitely getting into it.

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 8: Mountain Lion Mean Notes

Okay, so I was writing up notes on my Troped Western fic and then I clicked something and it all disappeared! I’m very upset and I hate the idea of starting again but like... I guess that’s what I gotta do :/

Mountain Lion Mean on AO3.

Written for @troped-fanfic-challenge​

So as I said in my notes, I watched Hell or High Water on the Sunday the trope document opened and immediately became obsessed, and that was my main inspiration. I saw it and loved it and, like with most things I love, my first thought was how can I do this too?? I didn’t want to do a straight AU of it, because it’s just too good and I don’t want to mess with that kind of perfection, but I knew I wanted a similar mood. I also figured pretty early on that I would try to include a bank robbery.

For the first days after the trope doc opened, I mostly just gathered inspiration and tried to think Western thoughts. In addition to HOHW, my inspiration included:

The Western episode of Charmed

A Western Rock playlist I found on Spotify

This post of southwestern gothic aesthetics

“Ranch Girl” by Maile Meloy (also the inspiration for it is new moon and twilight, which, fun fact, was originally going to be a Western; I didn’t re-read the story but it’s been haunting me since I first read it c. 2001 and is probably a partial inspiration for everything I write)

William Faulkner (especially “A Rose for Emily” and A Light in August) for the “town POV” narration

Sigrid Undset for the floating third-person-POV

The wikipedia article on Westerns, for succinct summaries of the themes of Westerns

The original aesthetic, quoted from my notes: “The vastness of the west, the frontier, a little uncivilized, a little dangerous, tough looking men who don’t talk much, extrajudicial justice, the heat and the desert…“

By the time I sat down to brainstorm, I had a few ideas and a few images already in mind. I wanted to include a bank robbery. I liked the idea of Clarke as a gunslinger and/or purveyor of vigilante justice. I thought I might use Gina as a bartender (this was during the half-moment I thought I might write a Bartender Mechanic fic; obviously neither of these things happened). And I liked the idea of including Murphy as some kinda criminal or unsavory type. The image of Bellamy as a taciturn cowboy came fairly early too.

I was a little uncertain at first if I wanted to do an 1800s western or a neo-western, mostly because I felt like the tropes I was attracted to and the images in my head fit better in the 1800s. But ultimately I settled on neo-western pretty fast, because I thought the imagery and themes would work better in the modern day. Plus I just thought it would be easier tbqh.

My first concern was to not just re-write a shittier HOHW. I was really caught up in the logistics of the bank robbery; including too much of that would necessarily make it a copy of the film, so I tried to keep just the bare bones of the robbery + the general justification (saving the family land). Then I added additional portions of the scheme--not too difficult since I knew I wanted Gunslinger/Vigilante Clarke in there, and I needed some way to show that she takes Justice into her own hands--and additional characters. Again, most notably Clarke, but also Raven and Octavia. The characters have their own backgrounds, personalities, relationships, and motivations, all of which make the story more mine imo. I’m satisfied with the balance of Obvious HOHW Influences and original content.

At some point, I described it to my mom as “Bellamy is Toby, Murphy is Tanner, and Clarke is canon Clarke but in the modern West.” Which I still think is accurate.

Including Clarke, though, and privileging the various relationships among the trio of Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy, made me feel like I was making an it is new moon and twilight knock off except with Clarke for Raven. I still kind of see it, tbh, in the sense that twilight was itself supposed to be a western--I think it would be fair to say that Mountain Lion Mean IS the fic I set out to write in February 2020--and in the sense that I could have written a different story in the same universe as Mountain Lion Mean that explored the Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy relationships in a way that is similar to twilight. As is, a lot of that is unsaid and unseen. The two fics have different focuses, so it’s probably only apparent to me just how similar they are. Just like, to me, Mad Women and The Wanheda Tape are the same story even though they have very different aesthetics and plots.

Some excerpts from my notes that I think are fun:

I really want to work with the themes (haha themes) of frontier justice and also the sense that the west is infinite but also small, that nature is hard and impossible to wrangle but that the opportunities are narrow and it’s easy to get trapped in it, the melancholy nature of it, the dichotomy of nature (huge, powerful) versus man (small, struggling against nature and against man). Or some such. Or Murphy just robs banks.

Bellamy owns a struggling ranch. Clarke is a gunslinger (don’t really know if I can use this trope in the current day but possibly?) who doesn’t trust the law. Has a conceal[ed]-carry permit. Is the best shot in three counties. Murphy’s been in and out of prison most of his adult life, mostly for crimes like robbery and assault.

How do they know each other? Possibilities: Murphy knows Bellamy through Octavia (idk why…but I do feel like O should appear, riding a horse) (background Octaven? Just a thought), Bellarke are exes, Murphy used to work on the ranch. Clarke has killed someone (someone Bad) and gotten away with it.

I do like the focus being on these three characters, who have a long history but aren’t currently close, coming together for a mission (to rob a bank) for the benefit of one who is struggling (Bellamy) even thought this is an awful lot like both Hell or High Water and it is new moon and twilight lmao.

I like that mood from HOHW where actually Toby was the most dangerous, and the smartest, and he won—the idea that Bellamy is the taciturn cowboy who’s not good at sharing his feelings but he’s also the mastermind in the end. Is that the twist? You get the impression Vigilante Gunslinger Griffin and Actual Ex-Con Murphy are planning something, but then it turns out to be Bellamy who executes the plan? [Not quite how it turned out lol in that I think it’s decently obvious that Bellamy was a major part of it the whole time but I did try to get some of this in with Octavia in the final scene--to really drive home Bellamy’s importance, as the ring leader, since otherwise one could ask, what does he even do?]

Midway through the planning process I came up with some more images to work from:

B and C out at dusk on the ranch, she’s shooting can, a bit of UST perhaps

M shows up at the bar and there’s an awkward silent entrance—perhaps he’s just out of prison

Murphy or Clarke guns akimbo [I picked Clarke to emphasize that she’s the gunslinger, but I had Murphy shoot out the security cameras to show that they were using his robbery experience]

Bellamy being silent and awkward

At this point, it was just about putting all the pieces together. That’s how I tend to plan Troped fics: I lay out all the pieces I need or want to include and then I figure out the shortest and most efficient distances between them. For example, I knew I needed a bank robbery and for Clarke to administer some vigilante justice--so I use that justice as a way to launder the money. They fake a will for her victim and “give” the money to themselves.

I did worry, and still worry, about the timeline re: the Bellarke marriage and the will because I’m quite sure it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work. But it also... it doesn’t keep me up at night because the whole point is that it’s a scam!! Worrying about legality in a scam is sorta... lol. What I mean specifically is that I wanted it to be clear that Clarke does not kill Kane FOR this scheme. They use something she already did to their advantage. So she and Bellamy can’t be married at the time Kane is killed. That implies the murder was pre-meditated for the bank robbing purpose. But I’m also fairly sure (and I should know this because I took T&E but like...honestly can’t remember) that the people in the will are counted at the time of death, not the time of probate, or you could like... adopt extra kids or marry or divorce someone to affect the will. Plus all that stuff about simultaneous death etc. etc. Also, on a practical level, if Clarke wasn’t married, Kane wouldn’t have an obvious reason to write her spouse into the will. But I get away with this in my head by saying, first, no one’s going to say the husband that’s standing right there doesn’t count as a husband--the law is the law but it’s implemented by people and they fudge corners all the time. They do what seems to make sense even if you’d lose points for it on a law school exam. And second, the will could have been written with the assumption or hope that Clare would marry. Possibly even, though I don’t say this in the fic exactly, on the condition of marriage--Clarke gets 100% to share 50-50 with her husband if she’s married, 0% if she’s not. Doesn’t really matter. It’s supposed to read as outwardly clever and create Mystery and play with the Exes Aesthetic even if it doesn’t hold up the strictest scrutiny. (JDs don’t @ me.)

I justified including the marriage as a necessity because Kane could possibly leave money to Clarke’s husband but he wouldn’t leave money to some rando. I do stand by that part.

I also decided at some point that I wanted to include Background Octaven but be really subtle about it so it was something else the reader would have to piece together: that Raven has a girlfriend, then that Octavia has a girlfriend but, hey, isn’t Raven a bartender?--and then it comes together in the last scene as we see that their relationship was factored into Bellamy’s plan all along: some of the loot goes directly to Octavia and her partner, officially as payment for Raven’s services, unofficially because Bellamy wants to give O a gift. Anyway. Either it was too obvious or too subtle/boring because no one mentioned it but I thought it was cool lol.

At this point in my planning I basically had everything I needed, so I wrote a quick outline of scenes, as I always do, to see how it would flow scene to scene and if I had a place to put all the necessary plot info. I also ended up doing “what I need from this scene” lists for each scene so that I knew what I had to have on my mind to include before I sat down to write each one.

The actual writing was done over 3 days and fairly easily and quickly. I had a lot of fun not just with planning but with the actual process of creation. I think it’s because I was just honestly excited to be in this universe and play with this aesthetic.

Not to blow my own horn here but some parts that I was particularly pleased with were:

“Arkadia hasn’t seen a drop of rain in thirty-two days. The asphalt on the highway shimmers with heat; the air crackles with heat; the heat rises, stifling and strong, from the parched dirt and the cracks in the pavement.” Like I’m sorry but that’s a good image, I like that a lot. Whenever I felt discouraged, I just read that again and felt better.

The description of past Bellarke because boy howdy do I not care to write romance anymore but that was fun. I thought it was hot.

Transitioning Murphy laughing until the coyotes can hear into Bellamy hearing coyotes at night into Bellamy still hearing them during the day. I don’t know if it worked quite like I wanted to but in my head that is a very Cinematic transition, okay? I also like that even though Clarke and Murphy aren’t literally riding off together in that scene, for the reader, they are leaving the narrative never to be seen again. So they get their Dramatic Exit.

Octavia’s explication of the Theme and Bellamy’s possible motivations. I’m pretty proud of myself for actually having a theme and I think I did a good job of explaining it without being too heavy-handed. I also think it was perhaps risky to end with the POV of Octavia, a character who’s barely been in the fic before the last scene, but ultimately that decision felt right to me and I think it had a good flow, a nice mellow exit from the narrative.

What I didn’t like as much was a lot of the first scene. I think it has some great bits but it was the most re-worked part of the fic, and there are still some paragraphs and phrases that I feel are a little stiff. For example, this is a paragraph that I cut entirely:

Diyoza was sure the Griffin daughter did the deed back in January and she's sure about it still. She even gives a quote to the Sun-Times about it, despite her troubles with Green. But she had no proof then, not even a body to justify a murder charge, and she has little proof now. So no one believes the investigation will come to anything.

As you can see, it gives no new information. There were other sentences and phrases that weren’t doing work but were interrupting the flow, which also got cut, but I’m still not sure that the flow is perfect in the final version.

Also displeased that I edited out a * from the version on AO3, thus letting two scenes run together. How embarrassing!!! It’s fixed now though.

Overall though I’m so pleased! I love this fic and I love that I can love things again. This year has already been so hard, just like being battered again and again by waves of a storm, and it’s only 5 weeks in but this experience was so unabashedly good and I’m so grateful for it.

[rangoatemybabynsfw]

Guardian Angel Lance sent to protect Keith. Eventually he falls in love which is hella against the rules and loses his halo and wings but Keith is right there and Lance vows to continue to protect him even tho he's mortal now and Keith vows the same

Okay, I loved this so much and spent WAY TO MUCH TIME ON IT.  (Warning, some langst but with a happy ending) Maybe one day I’ll make it into a genuine one-shot.It’s very very long so I put it under a cut.

Also if any of you draw stuff to this please let me know. I think I’m in love with guardian angel Lance.

This guy is so much trouble. Seems to go through guardian angels like tissue paper and Lance quickly finds out why. Any kind of dangerous stunt Keith’s already halfway to doing it. The first day alone Lance has had three minor panic attacks to keep him from a) getting hit by a car, b) keeping him from getting stabbed by someone at a club, and c) not tripping and falling down eight flights of stairs after drinking too much. 

And the next day isn’t better. It’s almost as if Keith likes dancing with danger. The only time Lance doesn’t feel like he’s on edge is when Keith sleeps. Thank god he does that for the recommended 7-8 hours or else Lance would have pulled out his own wings or strangled himself with his own halo within a week. That said, Keith looks…beautiful when he sleeps. Almost like an angel, ironically.

He notices that half the time Keith’s doing dangerous stuff, its for other people. That day he almost got hit by a car, he was grabbing a child out of the street. The almost stabbing was getting a guy to lay off a girl at the club. The almost trip and fall down the stairs was to avoid stepping on the apartment stray cat. He’s…actually a nice guy. 

Keith starts to suspect someone is looking out for him. He’s always had a feeling since he was a kid when there was some kind of divine intervention at work. Like feeling a hand tug him out of the way or push him forward to avoid certain death. And he could feel when there was someone new. This recent one has stuck around the longest, three weeks now. So Keith finds himself talking to what looks like an empty room when it gets quiet at night.

Keith: You’re there, aren’t you? A spirit…or some kind of…angel maybe?

(Lance doesn’t answer him as he’s not allowed to)

Keith: Mom always said…she’d send me a guardian angel if she ever left me too soon. I think…you’re the best one so far since you haven’t run away yet…Thanks…whoever you are.

Keith talks to him all the time after that. Sometimes Lance will sit on the bed right next to him and listen to him talk for hours. Lance starts falling in love with his charge and doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until one unfortunate day he finds a feather. One of his feathers. 

His wings…they’re losing their feathers. And his halo it’s…starting to feel heavy. His body actually…aches. 

With dread and fear, he realizes he’s…falling. He’s becoming a fallen angel because of his love for Keith. This is his punishment and it’s already being carried out. At best he’ll survive and become mortal at worst…he’ll die or become just like…Lucifer himself.

Keith feels that the energy has changed around him lately. It’s a nervous energy growing stronger with each passing day. It’s different from when he feels a change in his watchful guardians. And it’s worrisome. 

Keith: Something doesn’t feel right. Are you there? Answer me!

Lance holds his hands over his mouth in bitter anguish, leaning his failing body against Keith’s wall. He doesn’t want his punishment to get worse. They might erase him entirely if he breaks too many more rules but he so badly wants to talk to Keith. 

Keith: It feels…it feels bad. Are you…sick? Tell me!

Soon the other angels will come and take him away. Replace him with someone else. 

Keith comes closer to where he is, certain Lance is in front of him. Lance can feel the end approaching, the energy of his brothers and sisters getting closer. The last thing he does is reach out and touch Keith’s face, just enough that Keith can feel that weak caress even if he can’t see it. 

Keith: You are sick…you’re dying, aren’t you?

There’s no guarantee he’ll ever see Keith again. It’s likely his errors are too numerous to allow him any mercy. Why not a few parting words? it can’t make it any worse for him. Lance leans forward and whispers into Keith’s ear.

Lance, breathing weakly: Keith…can you…hear me?

Keith, blinking in shock at the beautiful voice in his ear: It’s you…you’re really there.

Lance rasps: Not for…much longer…

Keith, starting to get upset and tearing up: What? No, you can’t go…

Lance: I wasn’t…supposed to…love you…and now…they’re coming…but I’m…not sorry. Falling for you…was the best mistake…I ever made…even if it’s…the last mistake I’ll ever make…I gotta go…they’re almost here…

Keith, now actively crying: No! You can’t! I…I don’t know what you look like! What your name is!

Lance, weakly chuckling: It’s L-Lysandariel…the spear of…l-liberation…but…I l-like…Lance better…it’s…easier to say…

Keith: Lance…

Lance: If I could have…I’d have stayed with you…forever…Bye Keith…be…safe…

The door swings open and in an instant Keith feels alone in his room. He calls out for Lance but no one answers. Keith spends the next several days talking to his empty apartment, hoping someone will answer back. He does research into religious texts for a Lysandariel and only finds a few mentions of someone of a similar name in 5th century bc. Lysandros. A spartan general. No pictures or art. 

Lance goes before a tribunal for his sins. Many think he should be given to the other side for punishment. Hell loves fallen angels. Others think he should be erased in front of other guardian angels as an example of what happens if you break the rules. No one asks Lance anything as he kneels before the others, his wings nearly devoid of every beautiful feather he had. His halo already taken.

Several angels are in attendance but the archangels sit quietly listening to the evidence. Some whisper among themselves with a disdainful eye. Not a good sign. Lance is all but sure that they will erase him or send him to Lucifer to be tormented for all eternity. Finally, someone speaks and Lance shakes at the sound of their awesome voice. This one is softer than others and he recognizes it as Chamuel.

Chamuel: Lysandariel…you are aware of why you’re here. Your love should only be directed to our loving father…and for turning it away you’ve lost your divinity. You are all but mortal now.

Lance: Yes my archangel

Chamuel: What would you do with your divinity, were it returned to you? Remember, while under the gaze of Uriel you cannot lie.

Lance: I would return to my post as a guardian.

Chamuel: Simply a guardian? Or a guardian for the human Keith?

Lance: I…(he wants to lie but it pains him to even think of doing so)…I would return to Keith’s side. 

Uriel: Because it is your duty or because it is your desire?

Lance: Because I must…All I want…is to protect Keith. He needs me…

Whispers abound. Lance said he ‘wants’. Perhaps he’s too corrupted by emotion to stay an angel. He must be struck down to hell. No, no, he must be erased so no other young angels follow his lead. The room goes silent when a new voice booms through the room. Jeremiel. He has the final say among the archangels in attendance as the angel of mercy, grace, and most importantly justice.

Jeremiel: Lysandariel. You were fully aware of the rules of your post but allowed temptation to take hold of you just the same. Zadkiel believes you were trying diligently to do your assigned task. And even though it has cost you dearly…you continue to pursue this assignment knowing it will only cost you more.

Lance closes his eyes and prays. He knows not if God hears the prayers of angels but he hopes he does and will intercede to save him. To pardon him. To forgive and absolve him of his sins.

Jeremiel: The damage from your sins is too great. I do not think you could reattain your divinity, even if given new wings. But you must be made an example of, do you understand?

Lance, shivering with fear: Yes, my archangel

Jeremiel: We have decided. Lysandariel, you are to be given two punishments. The first is to be stripped of your wings.

With a snap, Lance feels them rip from his back with blinding pain like white-hot fire scorching his back. But seconds later it is soothed by the warm hand of Ariel. The injury is healed but the scars will forever remain. 

Jeremiel: And the second punishment is…

*****

Keith wakes to the sound of knocking on his door. He isn’t expecting anyone. Probably a drunk neighbor at the wrong house. It knocks again and then a weak thump like dropping a bag in front of it. Keith opens it to find a guy in tattered rags collapsed in front of his door. No shoes, his feet covered in blisters and cuts.

Keith takes him in, tries to wake him up. He washes Lance up and cleans his cuts. Bandages them too. Then gets him into clean clothes. There’s an awful scar on his back that looks like…could it be? Lance groans while he groggily wakes.

Keith: Lance? Is…is that you?

Lance: Keith…I made it…back to you…

Keith, smiling: You did. Don’t your feet hurt? 

Lance: My everything hurts now…guess that’s what being mortal’s about…

Keith: That’s not the only thing being human is about.

Keith leans forward and kisses Lance. It’s passionate and wonderful and for a second Lance almost feels like he’s got his wings back. They break away from the kiss and Keith’s smiling at him.

Lance: That was nice…but my feet still hurt. My stomach too.

Keith, laughing: When’s the last time you ate?

Lance: Uh…well…never?

Keith: Guess we should fix that, huh, my guardian angel? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.

Keith lifts Lance up and carries him to the kitchen and for the second time in three minutes, he feels like he’s got his wings again. If this is what it’s like to be human then he’s glad to have fallen for Keith.

[fmjoanna]

hola , mamakeishas ! 😍 i’m claire, and we love a good repurposing of intro posts. no but seriously, i’m really excited that this is finally open. i’m also really excited to meet all of your muses & write with youuuu. so without further ado, lemme introduce you to jo. aka my stupid, stubborn child who i love so much.  like this & i’ll swoop into your dms for some plots. 👉👈

☆ . · . cindy kimberly, twenty-one, cisfemale, she/her . · . ☆ JOANNA “JO” VASQUEZ lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for PERFECTLY TRIMMED HEDGES and that’ll be it. the ACTRESS has offered occasional glimpses of MAROON walls and an impressive collection of WINE in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained DILIGENT as ever since moving to tercet court FOUR MONTHS AGO, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more RESERVED too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a CAUTIOUS relationship with everyone else who lives on this street.

* BACKSTORY .

tw. mentions of drugs & death.

from  the  beginning  ,  it  was  never  jo’s  dream  to  be  famous.  while  most  girls  were  at  home  playing  with  toys,  jo  was  getting  prepped  for  auditions  by  her  parents.  they  had  ambitions   ————  to  get  filthy  stinkin’  rich  off  the  back  of  their  daughter,  and  for  the  most  part,  it  worked.

jo  landed  a  major  role  in  a  disney  show  (  think  like  hannah  montanna  or  wizards  of  waverly  place,  that  kinda  cultural  impact  ),  and  quickly,  she  became  one  of  america’s  sweethearts.  that  was  a  lot  for  one  kid  to  handle, with  all  the  filming,  press,  etc.  her  parents,  of  course,  ate  up  the  attention  and  capitalized  off  it  fairly  quickly.  brand  deals,  interviews,  anything  you  could  find  a  child  star  on  at  that  time.  it  pretty  quickly  became  overwhelming,  but  she  was  definitely  raking  in  the  dough.  that  meant  she  was  to  continue,  no  matter  how  tired  of  it  she  was.

which  is  where  her  perfectionism  comes  in  to  play,  she  had  a  lot  of  people  relying  on  her  ————  her  parents,  who  she  loved  regardless  of  the  stress  they  put  her  through,  director,  costars,  company,  etc.  jo  was  definitely  a  natural  when  it  came  to  acting.  she  knew  how  deliver  line  after  line,  emote,  and  successfully  pull  off   a  comedic  moment.  on  screen,  she  played  a  charismatic,  social butterfly,  which  was  the  exact  opposite  of  who  she  really was,  a  quiet,  nervous  girl  who  valued  her  privacy  and  just  wanted  to  live  a  normal  life.

which  began  to  take  it’s  toll  on  her.  the  older  the  she  became,  the  less  she  liked  being  seen  as  the  sweet  girl  next  door,  so  she  completely  had  a  breaking  out  of  that  mold  phase ( ala  like  miley  cyrus  or  britney  spears )  around  the  time  her  disney  show  came  to  an  end.  much  to  her  parents  dismay,  she  became  known  more  for  her  off-screen  antics  than  her  onscreen  one  &  definitely  kept  the  paparazzi’s  pockets  fat.  “jo  vasquez  spotted  (fill  in  the  blank  with  something  controversial)”  filled  the  pages  of  magazines  for  a  lot  of  her  17-18  years,  and  she  went  from  america’s  sweetheart  to  probably  one  of  america’s  most  hated lol.  it  had  a  negative  impact  on  her  career  as  well,  which  she  was  happy  about  for  awhile.  that  is,  until  she  realized  that  most  of the  money  she  made  as  a  child  was  collected  by  her  parents  &  not  her.

with  no  money  coming  in  &  the  relationship  with  her  parents  souring,  she  left  home  &  avoided  the  spotlight  for  around  three  years.  probably  lost  contact  with  a  lot  of  people  then  too.  she  thought  a  nice,  quiet  time  by  herself  &  without  paparazzi  following  her  24/7  would  be  healthy.  

&  it  was.  jo  used  the  last  bit  of  her  childhood  savings  to  fund  her  time  away,  but  with  money  tight ,  she  was  a  bit  unsure  of  what  was  left  to  do.  that’s  where  her  great  aunt  came  in.  her  great  aunt  had  gotten  rich  of  her  stocks  in  a  successful  makeup  line  when  she  was  in  her  late  30′s  ( something  that  joanna’s  parents  were  super  jealous  of ).  with  that  kind  of  money,  she  was  able  to  move  to  the  hills  and  purchase  a  beautiful  home.  joanna  had  met  her  only  once  or  twice,  but  there  was  definite  tension  between  her  parents  and  her  aunt.  the  only  thing  she  really knew  about  her  was  that  she  was  wealthy  and  lived  alone,  no  kids  or  significant  other. 

unexpectedly,  her  great  aunt  passed  away,  news  that  didn’t  reach  jo  until  she  got  a  letter  from  her  aunt’s  lawyer,  saying  that  since  her  great  aunt  didn’t  have  kids  &  didn’t  want  to  leave  her  belongings  to  her  niece  (  jo’s  mother  ),  she  had  left  everything  to  jo.  it  completely  caught  her  off  guard,  and  she  considers  herself  pretty  lucky.  

she  knew  that  she  couldn’t  stay  in  the  hills  forever  without  some  income,  and  because  she  feels  like  acting  is  what  she’s  best  at,  she  decided  to  contact  her  old  manager,  and  together,  they  came  up  with  a  plan  to  revive  her  career.

sooooo ,  now  she’s  back  in  los  angeles.  media  has  def  heard  of  her  return  (  apart  of  her  manager’s  plan  )  &  there’s  been  a  small  amount  of  buzz  around  it.  she’s  more  of  a  former  a-list,  so  she’s  really  not  that  in  demand.  however,  she  did  manage  to  land  a  supporting  role  in  a  major  blockbuster  (   something  like  a  marvel  movie  probs  )  so  she’s  hoping  that’ll  change  fairly  soon.

* PERSONALITY .

probably  fake  lol.  let’s  just  be  honest.  kinda  hates  the  celebrity  lifestyle  &  is  cautious  when  it  comes  to  other people  in  the  industry  so  yeah,  she’s  the  type  to  smile  in  your  face  and  then  glare  when  your  backs  turned.  she  knows  how  important  connections  are  in  this  business  &  word  travels  fast  so  she’s  probably  not  “real”  except  with  the  people  she’s  closest  to.  also  the  type  to  be  like  “OMG ofc  i  know  what  that  is. 😍  it’s  my  fave”  but  then  have  absolutely  no  clue  what  the  fuck  it  is  lmaoo  a  tragedy

she’s  a  hard  worker  &  def  a  perfectionist.  everything  has  to  be  perfect,  and  she’ll  do  as  much  as  she  can  to  get  it  right.  it’s  probs  the  reason  she  stuck  with  acting  b/c  the  trial  and  error  of  learning  something  new  would  be  way  too  much  for  her  lol.

but  also  enjoys  time  out  a  lil  too  much  prolly.  is  a  regular  to  night  life  &  partying  (  more  under  wraps  now  than  back  in  the  day  )  &  will  out  drink  just  about  anyone  you  know.  it  makes  her  a  bit  more  brave  &  she  believes   ppl  bare  their  souls  when  they’re  inebriated  so  it’s  easier  to  get  to  know  ppl.  what  a  weirdo.  also  partakes  in  her  fair  share  of  prolly  just  weed.  no  hard  drugs  tbh  she’s  not  the  one

your  average  gal  just  looking  to  have  fun ,  but  could  def  potentially  catch  feelings  that  she  would  deny  til  she  can’t  anymore  or  until  it’s  too late. 🤪  lowkey  wants  someone  to  just  sweep  her  off  her  feet,  but  she’s  blind  to  the  reality  that  she  always  be  making  things  complicated.

behind  the  facade,  she’s  a  bit  stubborn.  probably  also  a  side  effect  of  being  a  perfectionist  &  also  her  need  for  control  ( since  she  lacked  that  when  she  was  young )  so  be  prepared  for  that

* WANTED CONNECTIONS .

ok  but  plots  really  do  be  making  my  world  go  ‘round. 😳 i  love  em,  so  literally  hmu  with  anything  you’re  feeling,  and  i’ll  be  down.  just  wanna  plot  &  write  with  everyone 💕  but  here’s  a  couple  of  wanted  connections  for  y’all.  i’ll prolly  have  a  most  wanted  tag  sooner  or  later  &  i’ma  be  make  a  plot  page  soon.  

best  friend  /  friend  group:  there’s  no  way  jo  could  function  without  friends,  so  pls  give  her  some  good  ass  platonic  tingz.  these  are  the  people  she  can  be  herself  around,  so  she  holds  them  really  dear.

people  from  the  past:  someone  she  knew  from  the  past.  could  be  friends,  enemies,  lovers,  costars,  etc.  she  didn’t  really  let  that  many  people  know  that  she  was  leaving  so  now  that  she’s  back  it  could  be  like  👀  dramatic.

unrequited love / crush:  these  are  fun.  joanna  doesn’t  really  know  how  to  handle  her  romantic  feelings  so  it’d  probably  be  her  getting  the  cold  shoulder .

hookups / fwb:  past,  present,  future.  fwb  would  probs  get  messy.  maybe  she  caught  feelings  or  sumn.

former  friends:  something  happened  &  they’re  no  longer  friends.  we  can  plot  it  all  out . :^)

childhood  friends  to  lovers  to  exes  that  ended  on  bad  terms:  saw  this  on  a  plot  masterlist  &  it  sounds  fun  so  i  thought  i’d  put  it  here lol.

literally anything  your  heart  desires: a  lot  could  work.  we  could  even  just  start  from  nowhere  &  have  them  meet  for  the  first  time  b/c  jo’s  only  been  back  for  a  couple  of  months.

[kachulein]

Got tagged by @ultkyu to answer some questions! Thank you dear, I'm so excited for this~🥺💞

1. If you were an animal, what animal would you be and why?

× I'd be a cat, 100%. Cats are my love and my life, I've always wanted to be one, tbh (not in a furry type of way, but I feel like life would be easier if I was a cat, lmao). I love how cats take no shit and do whatever they want. They're very independent and individual and I'm all here for that.

2. What two anime characters or kpop idols are your type?

× Can I do both anime characters and kpop idols??

× As for anime characters, Jaeha from Akatsuki no Yona and Kirito from Sword Art Online are totally my type!!😍

× And in terms of kpop idols... omg,, how am I supposed to *only* name two?? Hmm, thinking about it, I guess not all of my biases are my "type" per se... but there's two that come to mind right now hhhh. One of them is Kevin Moon from The Boyz, he really ticks off (almost) every bullet point in my list for my "ideal type" and honestly, this list is freaking contradictory and has vvv high standards but Kevin is THAT boi, basically my imaginative ideal boyfriend personified. :') And the second one who I'd say is totally my type is Hwang Hyunjin from Stray Kids. I've always loved drawing him the most of all kpop idols and I still do tbh (but I can't fill my feed on my insta art account with JUST Hyunjin drawings,, you know,,,). His fashion!! I'm so here for it and vibe with it so well. Plus,,,idk,,, I feel like I could connect to him in some ways so ajxjsjdjjs yeah. There's just something about him and Kevin that inspires me so much, I really love these two bois.

3. Are there any writers or artists (art or music) that inspire you? If so, list 5.

× YES. I decided to name a few artists because I realize I've never talked about the artists whose artworks inspire me the most. They're all on Instagram, so I'll be naming their @'s

a.) @/shooky_dough: I'm probably not the only one who knows Nikki, hehe, but her art is SO amazing. She's got this really distinct style which I'd put into the category of semirealism. Her kpop fanart is soooo good and I used her tutorials to learn how to get better at sketching. If you look at the sketches I've been posting for the past few months on my insta art account, you'll notice that they're highly inspires by Nikki's art. She's definitely the artist I'm looking at most in terms of inspiration and improving on my own art.^-^

b.) @/angelganev: His art is sooo pretty. He does semirealism and I've found him by browsing through pinterest to find some art inspiration/references/tutorials. He also does drawing contests in which his followers can draw one of his work he selects in their own style and he gives a shout out to the ones he liked best. It's always interesting!!

c.) @/melmadedooks: This man can draw about ANYTHING, he's so talented. He used to draw lots of his 'dooks' and I've found him through seeing some of his works on pinterest (again, lol). I've actually redrawn two of his 'dooks' and posted them to my art account AND HE LIKED BOTH OF THEM, I WAS SO HAPPY OMG!!! He used to draw his dooks using only one coloured pencil, so I've also started experimenting with that and instead of using a graphite pencil, I used coloured pencils for my sketches and those gave off very different vibes that I really liked!!

d.) @/rezajeez: Probably *the* kpop fanartist I've been following for the longest of times. They are AMAZING!! They mainly do huge photorealistic portraits with INSANE details. It's funny actually, because their work is the complete opposite to shooky_dough's work. While Reza draws photorealism on a big surface (probably A3? maybe more??) and draws very detailed, Nikki focuses more on sketches/more semirealistic and "simplistic" art and it's usually drawn quite small, so seeing these opposites really broadens my horizon, I think^^

e.) Last but nor least, @/rossdraws: In my opinion, he's the modern day Bob Ross! His art is so freaking stunning, have you checked out his digital art landscape series?? The amount of talent this man holds in his pinky finger is more than I've got in my whole body like- OOF a huge inspiration to me!!~

4. If you could play any instrument, which would you play?

× The guitar!! I really want to learn how to play it~

5. If you could choose one anime to live in, which one would you choose and why?

× Either Ouran High School Host Club or Your Lie In April. The first one is just so much fun and I'd love hanging out with the host club members and as for the latter,,, I just really want to be here for Kousei and help him through his anxiety because I know so well how it feels like and I also wish I could sing while he plays the piano, we'd be a great duo✊🏻😔 (I'm sorry, I couldn't choose one)

6. This is a bit of an old DeviantArt fic trend, but if you received an Android of your favourite character from any anime/show/etc., who would it be?

× Hmmm... that's a great question omg there's so many amazing choices I could make😭😭 But I think I'd go with Kirito, I just really really love him ahhhhh

7. Is there anything you would like to do but haven't because your friends/family didn't want to do it with you?

× There's actually a few things I could name... first, I really want to go bungee jumping (preferably from the Macau Tower, as it's the highest bungee jump in the world😍) but my fam and friends think I'm crazy for wanting to do this but I'm actually quite an adventurous person which probably not many people know about me, so I love doing stuff like that.✊🏻😂

× I would also really like to travel with friends... it's not that I dislike travelling with my mom and stepdad but whenever I can't take someone with me, I feel like such a child ??? idk,, never travelling (I wanted to say "without adults" but then I realized I AM an adult) on my own with friends and always tagging along with my parents kind of make me feel like I'm not independent or mature/grown-up for it. But I feel like none of my friends want to travel with me... most of them have a travel buddy already but I just... don't akdjsjs

× and last but not least, getting more specific, I really want to travel to Hawaii and South Korea, but so far, I haven't made it there yet :c

8. What's your favourite flower?

× Cherry Blossoms all the way💞 but all flowers are beautiful and I really like roses, too.

9. What are some of your hobbies?

× My hobbies include singing, drawing, dancing, writing, reading, researching astrology, studying Korean, watching youtube videos/netflix, listening to music and OF COURSE DAYDREAMING✊🏻😔

10. If you were going to be stranded on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on your back and a bag, what would you put in the bag?

× I'd definitely put food and water in the bag, my phone, earphones, a portable solar charger with a USB cable (so that my phone won't die and I could chill for however long I want while watching kpop mv's and then also use my phone to call for someone to rescue me from this island once I start running low on resources), all the books I still want to read, my art supplies and a few sketch books, some towels that I could use to lay on or use as blankets, a pillow and my teddy bear, and obviously a toothbrush and toothpaste, a hairbrush and a few hair ties and bobby pins (you don't want long sweaty hair stuck to your skin during a hot summer ewww), some soap to wash myself and my clothes, sunscreen and also some insect spray to keep the bugs away!! (it's a big bag, okay)

~

Sorry for writing such an essay omg!!

Here are my 10 questions:

1. What compliment you've received meant the most to you?

2. Would you rather meet your favourite celebrity/group/bias and realize they're not at all how you imagined them to be like (maybe they're not as kind as you thought, for example) or never meeting them in person but it turning out that they're actually the amazing, kind, sweet, generous, etc. person that you thought they were? (I hope that makes sense hhhh I think the ethics of this question are really interesting)

3. What's your current favourite song you always use to get hyped up to or a song currently stuck in your head?

4. If you had to write the book of your life, what genre would it be and what would you choose as a title?

5. Name your top 5 musical artists and your favourite song of each of them?

6. If you were invited to a big humanitarian event and had to give a speech on a topic you'd want to bring about a huge change for the better, what topic would you choose to speak about and voice your opinions/ideas? (Assume public speaking is one of your strongest assets and you'll ace this no matter what)

7. What is something (a skill, personality trait, or something appearance related, it can be whatever) you wish you had and/or you really admire in other people?

8. What's your favourite anime/show/youtuber (you can answer whichever you got an answer for, it can be all three options of course :D)?

9. In kpop, are you more into vocalists, dancers, rappers, maknaes, leaders, or visuals (or maybe a mix of some/all :'))?

10. What's your most beautiful/favourite memory?

oof I hope these questions will be interesting to answer🥺 hmm, Imma tag @littlefallenrebel @jinniesmeow @softpastelmx @yeonki @hanstagrams @marculees @chrryjin and anyone else who'd like to do this~💞💞💞

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Tell Me Where To Find Shelter -- Weird And Complicated Video Game Crossover AUs Strike Again

Okay, so last week I offered you all an updated rewrite on my old Fallout 4 Sole Survivor!Victor AU, Tell Me Where To Find Shelter. And at the very end of said update, I let you know that I had an idea for fitting Alice into the AU --

Specifically, my Malkavian Alice from Vampire: the Masquerade -- Bloodlines.

Look, the fact of the matter is, Fallout 4 and Bloodlines have been rather closely connected in my head from day one of my purchasing them -- hell, I got them during the same Steam sale! (Along with the BioShock series entire, which is why I had a couple of posts about Tell Me Where to Find Shelter back in 2016, then it dropped off the face of the earth -- I played Bloodlines first, and followed up with that series.) And my “Londerland Bloodlines” playthrough of Bloodlines was done concurrently with my starting up Fallout 4, so -- yeah. Me wanting to figure out how to cross the two over was probably inevitable.

I know what you’re all thinking, of course -- “how the hell do you make this sort of crossover work?” Well, I have had a few ideas:

-->This version of Malkavian Alice and her adventures in 2004 Los Angeles would be much more like the standard fledgling’s, given that the Corpse Bride characters are now born in the future. So the person she saves in the hospital is Heather (who she does manage to send away in time to save her life), and the Giovanni party goes down without dragging an undead version of Lizzie into the mix. Obviously the story and setting would have to be tweaked to fit better into Fallout’s alternate history (though given what the computers in the original game are like, maybe that’s easier than expected). She still goes Independent, and escapes from Los Angeles in the wake of LaCroix’s explosive death, making her way slowly but surely to the East Coast because she has had enough of California and everyone there.

-->She manages to get on with her unlife, watching the growing tensions with China and the Resource Wars with unease, but keeping to herself and doing her best not to let her humanity slip as she gets older. When the bombs fall, she’s sleeping the day away in a basement bunker she set up in Boston -- but the destruction from the explosion ends up collapsing part of the ceiling, burying her in rubble -- with a chunk of timber piercing her heart. She ends up in a staked torpor. . .

-->Until Victor shows up at her location at night to clear out a few raiders who are taking over the place as a base. One of the raiders yanks out the stake to use as a weapon, has three seconds to wonder why it’s got fresh blood on it -- then Alice explodes from her centuries-long hiding place and drinks him dry. Victor is too stunned at first to actually shoot her, and once Alice’s blood thirst has been quest, she immediately puts her hands up and does her best to show she means him no harm. They talk, Alice explains what happened (and goes ahead and admits she’s a vampire when Victor explains about the nuclear apocalypse -- who gives a shit about the Masquerade when the world has ended?), she offers to help with the remaining raiders to prove her good intentions, Victor accepts, and they take down the assholes together.

-->Obviously, Alice isn’t immediately “unlockable” as a companion -- she’s still got her sunlight thing, after all! She and Victor chat about it, and Victor, feeling bad, offers his assistance. Alice accepts -- she misses the sun -- and says that she’ll stay where she is for the moment (after finding a non-partially-collapsed basement to stay in) and keep raiders and monsters out while he searches for information. And so the “Here Comes The Sun” quest begins, with Victor searching for a way to counteract the sunlight curse! I’m thinking this would end up interacting with the Cabot family stuff, because I don’t think it would be hard at all to change the source of their immortality, and the artifact upon Lorenzo’s head, from something alien to something vampiric. Maybe Lorenzo’s partially possessed by the spirit of an Antediluvian, and it’s turned his blood into something close enough to vitae it can make ghouls? At any rate, Jack manages to whip something up after examining some of Alice’s blood (which, naturally, she’s kind of nervous about, but what choice does she have?), and it successfully stops her from burning up in sunlight (though she is weaker in it). A grateful Alice thanks Victor (and Jack) and agrees to travel with him to experience the Commonwealth.

-->As they go on together, they end up getting closer -- Alice likes that Victor is generally a good guy and sympathizes with the story of his lost family; Victor likes Alice’s snarky wit and strong sense of justice. As they share more details of their lives, help out the settlements, and battle monsters together, they realize they’re growing feelings for each other, and eventually get together, facing off against the Institute as a couple and parenting Synth Shaun/Chester together afterwards. (Alice jokes a lot that it took both her dying and the end of the world in general to finally get a domestic happy ending.)

-->Alice’s starting clothes would be a simple blue dress and apron with black buckled boots (the dress would naturally have a big bloody hole right over her heart when she first wakes up; she patches this after you leave her to her own devices for a bit), and she’d have the Tal’Mahe’Ra Blade (her prize from her storming of the Hallowbrook Hotel, taken from Andrei’s lair) as her standard weapon. She has a unique bite attack, being a vampire, and can still use Obfuscate (turning invisible to sneak past/sneak attack enemies) and Dementation (inflict debuffs on enemies so they’re confused and can’t shoot straight, or kill a single enemy from fear alone), though both have a cooldown so Victor can’t rely on her just spamming that to take care of every raider for him! XD Her perk would allow you to drain blood from enemy corpses (which other companions would find less disturbing than outright cannibalism, but still fairly creepy) and/or increase the healing capabilities of blood packs. I’m thinking, once romanced, she’d also have a unique variation of the “Lover’s Embrace” temporary perk, “Love Bite” -- Victor wakes up with HP not fully restored, but the XP boost is greater than “Lover’s Embrace” (+20% vs +15%).

-->Other vampiric elements of the Commonwealth would include:

A) That blood bank you can find? Those bags of blood are warm and fresh because there’s a Tremere there who has built up their power and knows some rituals for preserving the stuff. Unfortunately, they’re also very low humanity by this point, so they end up being a nasty surprise fight.

B) There’s a secret settlement of vampires that is made up of all the various fledglings you could pick from in Bloodlines, having learned to live together after the destruction of vampire society along with human when the bombs fell. The local Tremeres managed some blood sorcery that infused a mutfruit tree with human blood, so plasma fruit, a la The Sims 4, is a thing for them, and allows them to live in relative peace with their human neighbors (though they’ll happily drain anyone who attacks them). They’d probably have a quest revolving around either talking down or killing some vampire hunters who have been eying their base, and they could be persuaded to allow Jack Cabot and family to study them in exchange for vitae to help them stay in their immortal states. Also, the Malkavians openly call Victor the “Sole Survivor” and offer roundabout tips on his quests -- if he can decipher them. XD

C) This is just one that amuses me -- this universe’s Mysterious Stranger is none other than good old Caine! He’s trying to be a little more helpful to mortal and Kindred alike in the post-apocalypse, and has decided this means “showing up randomly to help people out of tight spots before vanishing again.” Alice, upon seeing him, jokes that the cabdriver thing didn’t work out, huh?

D) I’d kind of like to make stimpacks developed from vampire or ghoul blood to explain just how it is they can heal crippled limbs so fast -- the wiki didn’t provide much of an answer there! Which means anyone who uses them is at least slightly a ghoul. . .which might explain a few things about carry weight and why some enemies are so tough. (Legendaries have more vitae in their system, prompting the power-up, maybe?)

So yeah -- that’s how I’d get Bloodlines and Fallout to work together, and thus have my Malkavian!Alice and Sole Survivor!Victor be a couple in the wasteland. Because why make a crossover simple when I could make it way more complicated than it needs to be? XD Look, I just like the mental images I have of them together -- and of Alice taking out a whole army of baddies by hitting them with Voice of Bedlam to throw them into absolute chaos.

[acequisitor]

Obey Me! Review

Gonna get more detailed since it’s not just an app review. If you ever do want to review the game on the App Store: NTT replies in as a character in the game unless it’s a serious issue so keep that in mind. Otherwise, enjoy!

Imma start this off by saying it’s a great game. I personally couldn’t play it when it first released bc I had storage issues but if you have the time and phone storage it’s worth it. I’ll also say if you’re a player who’s looking for only one person’s ‘route’ it’s not for you because it’s a general story, but if you don’t mind that, it’s great to follow along with and just enjoy the moments you get with your fav that they give you.

Characters: Characterisation of these characters are great but at times lackluster. Although every character starts off as one demintional (ie: demon of x) they all get some nice info tagged in by the latest update. There’s literally a character for almost all of your niche needs, wants or desires to just immediately fall for. Trust me. My only qualm of this being with Belphie seeming to get the short end of the stick, especially with his redemption arc kind of being blown over (although he does something VERY questionable, you and him seem buddy buddy the next chapter without it saying how you got there) and practically a bad timeline being forced as your main one? Otherwise, it was nice to get to know them through gameplay and the characters are what drove me to kinda speed run my playthrough to its latest posted stories into the game!

Relationships: On the matter of players who would only want one person’s route, every character kinda gets a chapter devoted to the MCs relationship with them which is nice. Kinda like equal time given to each character, even. My only issue on the relationship issue is if you wanted a nice/fitting ‘ending’ or season ending by the time your character ‘leaves the school’, or you wanted something endgame-ish, you’re gonna feel as fucked as the MC by Lucifer because he’s the only person who’s romance actually escalates in character past a kiss. IMO at least Beel, Asmos (being a legit paragon of lust), or Satan (who specifically says he wants more) could’ve easily been given the same treatment. If you turn Lucifer down and leave it cuts straight to black which is fine but if you choose to kiss him it escalates despite every other sibling having been cockblocked in their attempt to spend more time with the MC after their kiss with her; so, I felt his romance got special treatment in that accord because Lucifer is like ‘the main guy’ or like the guy in a reverse-harem the show is definitely shooting for endgame (he’s like Tamaki) but for an otome game and someone who has Lucifer as last on their sibling tier list it was a slap in the face. There’s confirmed more story coming to the game which is nice, but the way it was left off kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. I’m still 100% into the story, though.

Relationships (mechanic): Each player has an affection level with you. As you choose them to be on your main screen, say something they like in the main story, use the player in battle, or send them to work for your money, you’ll build up a relationship with them. This can unlock phone calls from them or special DM/texts/group texts from them, and honestly that’s about it. It can also help unlock special side stories you get from cards... So yeah. They’re not all too important, but it’s a nice touch. Kinda MM vibes but not quite, you feel me?

My Gameplay Experience: So mechanic wise I grinded 4 1/2 days with the free VIP pass the last 2 and easily got to the end/latest chapters no problem without any purchases - which I note solely for those who feel they don’t want to play bc you can’t experience the main story to the fullest without paying money. If you’re scared you might miss an event, I’ve played almost every free NTT Solmare game to know they always have ‘retuning’ events if they’re focused on another game or have nothing on their schedule. It’s like new events except you start where you left off and can continue to get the other prizes you might’ve missed (besides rank prizes).

Actual Gameplay: Between each episode/book there’s this cute mini game you have to play and win to go onto either the next mini game or story. You get ranked 1-3 and your power in each mini game depends on the cards you put into the battle. A battle which mind you is a dance off! The higher you rank the more points you’ll get to unlock “A, B, C” side stories but they don’t really matter unless you’re a completionist. If you aren’t gonna like the story anywhere, it’ll be with this game and the feeling of needing to grind to rank your cards up. If it’s to any help, I’ve beaten a round with a 10,000 point difference with me at disadvantage but I still won so don’t feel you always need to be at par with the enemy to win. Also glow sticks are your friends. Remember that.

Story progression: Between each lesson or ch (so like a whole ass story line) you need to be a certain level. This either leaves you in a well I’m already at that level nbd or you have to break off and kinda grind for the next level. The break you use to grind to said lv (usually just one level up each time) gave me time to level up my cards so I had no real issue with it. Also gave me time to go do Hard Mode, so no biggie for me personally.

Hard mode: it isn’t something required of you to do, to progress in the story, but it does add side stories to the situation your character is in at that time in the plot that you don’t see otherwise in the main story. For example, there’s a whole side episode where it’s explained Mammon has pacts with these three witches who boss him around while he pampers his credit card. Not plot important, but it’s cute and they can round out a character if you feel the main story lacks it. It also adds a challenge for players who think normal mode was too easy. It can also be hella easy for a Hard Mode for players who do the main plot first and then decide to do Hard Mode. You can easily whip by when you’re 70k+ power level and ch 3 hard mode is like 40k. So if you’re not doing it along with the main story it’s hella easy to just bypass to get to the stories given you got enough stamina.

VIP pass: There’s a free trial of this that’s available that lasts for 7 days and it doubles your experience points (and other bonuses) which makes getting to new chapters easier. Not neccissary, just helpful if you wanted to speedrun the story like I did. If you plan to stick around and pay for it, no judgement but there is a free chance for those who need/want it. It’s also easy to ‘cancel’ the pass immediately after you purchase it in the App Store if you don’t wanna do it bc you’ll forget to unsubscribe and get charged for it.

Overall experience: I’d honestly give it a solid 4.5/5. Out of all the NTT Solmare games I didn’t have to wait for tickets to progress and it was at my own pace. I didn’t need to grind for a ‘fashion level’ or whatever and some cards I got to progress in the story have actual story tied to it which was great (especially considering I got them for free). There’s no ‘pay-for’ currency you need to experience an extra romantic moment and it really let me feel for once in an NTT Solmare game the playing feild in experience a story was fair/even. For an otome game this is a nice balance of gameplay and good story (not necessarily well written but still nice) with a good amount of comedy for me to enjoy. If y’all got any other questions on the game feel free to ask me.

Those who might be sensitive to it or just not enjoy ‘incest’ in this game bc I saw a review very harmed by just the implication of it: My sense of humour being “Step-bro! What are you doing?!” the subtle incest jokes I found hilarious between a bunch of horny demons who’s job it is to be kings of sinning, and your character isn’t actually their sister at all so don’t worry. There’s a chance the MC is a descendant of the brother’s siblings but to every complaint I’ve seen on that on the App Store or Twitter, NTT always notes and comments the story isn’t complete and there’s more to come so I assume it’s not as it seems for those who are like “??? Is this legal???”

[touchingmadness]

Nano 2019 Summary

It took until the last day, but I’ve done it! I’m not exactly surprised - I’ve known I was capable from three other years of winning. That’s not to say that the achievement is any less exciting!!! And I have Timeline-B of Cathedral fully drafted now!!! Exciting!!!

Now, on December 1st, it’s time to reflect on what went well, what didn’t, what I’ve learned from my 2019 Nanowrimo experience, and where I’m going from here. (I’ll tell you one thing - no more Nano means more activity on this blog, so look forward to that!)

Stats, analysis, and reflection below the cut. Also tagging my Cathedral peeps so they know what kind of content they can be expecting in the coming weeks.

Day-to-Day Writing

Most Productive Days:

Day 23 - 7,450 words

Day 30 - 6,774 words

Day 8 - 4,858 words

As you can see, I was only on track 11 out of 30 days. That was a new experience for me. Every other Nano, I’ve attempted to write 2k per day, to create at least a slight buffer. That wasn’t quite feasible this year, primarily due to my workload at school. It cost me a lot at first to admit there were days I couldn’t write, because despite preaching the impracticality of that “tip” every other month of the year, during Nano, I’m just as susceptible.

It turned out pretty well though, and I stopped worrying so much, mostly thanks to Day Eight, my third most productive day with 4,858 words written. That “catch-up” day showed me that as long as I took advantage of the days I didn’t have much homework and was in a “writing mindset,” I could easily afford myself some days with no writing whatsoever. I didn’t write anything 6 out of 30 days. And you know what? It turned out fine. I didn’t just finish the 50k goal - I finished the entire timeline. (Granted, it was only about 1k more… But still.)

What I Learned About Writing

Even during Nano, I’m perfectly capable of achieving my goals without writing every single day. All the more reason to give the middle finger to that stress-inducing piece of “advice.”

That being said, on the days when I do write during Nano, I should maintain my personal goal of 2k. I kind of slacked off on that this year and stopped right at the Nano-prescribed goal of 1,667. This made it easier to fall behind and harder to catch up, because that 333 words a day and 10 extra minutes of writing makes a difference.

Word crawls work wonders, especially when there’s a proper variety of activities. Two out of my three most productive days, I have word crawls to thank. Mind you, if there’s not enough variety in activities, they don’t hold my attention, but they are still a tool I plan to continue taking advantage of.

My pacing and dialogue tags need some work. Hell, I already knew that, but this Nano just hammered it home. I can’t tell you how clunky some of this stuff got. Ah, well. That’s a problem for another draft.

I actually can write to lyrical music, assuming it’s on the lowest setting possible. I have the gang over on my writing server to thank for that realization. Social writing is so, so much easier.

What I Learned About My Story

Eve Donnery and Yvonne Germaine are ex-girlfriends, and that’s why they are the way they are around each other. It actually has nothing to do with the war.

A certain character from Timeline-B is related to a certain character from Timeline-A. This is actually turning out to be such a significant plot point that I’m not sure how I didn’t draw this conclusion before.

One of my plotlines is kinda maybe sorta based on one from a Star Trek. Except I’m exploring it far more to its full potential and the mechanics are different. Doesn’t change the fact I’m pretty sure my brain got the idea from Trek. Oops.

I know nothing about Nikolai’s mother and I should probably do something about that. Even if she was just never in the picture, I have no clue why.

There’s a penal colony on Mars!!! (That fills so many plotholes from later in the series, you have no idea.)

Where do I go from here?

With Cathedral’s Timeline-B fully drafted, my next step is to finish planning Timeline-A so I can hopefully hammer that out during the April Camp. Because I’m going to need a couple months to do that - there’s too many details that are up-in-the-air at this point. After that, I can perhaps begin draft two, although Timeline-B is clean-cut enough that it might not require a complete rewrite.

For now, I’m taking a step back from actively working on this project, or working on any project. I need the next three weeks for projects and exams, and my freetime during such busy weeks is better put toward something mindless or spur-of-the-moment. It helps stave off the breakdowns. Once those weeks pass, however, I hope to begin writing and releasing chapters for my gay sci-fi romance Heart, Mind, Soul and to continue doing so throughout winter break.

That being said, I will be releasing Cathedral content in the coming weeks!!! I haven’t decided what, but I’ll probably be doing that first vs. last line thing for at least Nikolai and Matov, maybe a couple memes, some excerpts… Basically, low-effort content that is, nonetheless, content! (If there’s anything you’d like to see, please feel free to make a request.) I want to make up for not posting much the past two months, thanks to Preptober and Nano.

How did everyone else’s Nano go? c:

Get some words written? Make any realizations? Any new friends, new ideas? Feel free to share in the reblogs/replies or drop into my asks or DMs!

Cathedral Taglist (ask to be added/removed) - @inkwellprincess​, @ditzysworld​​, @nattletak​​, @purpleshadows1989​​, @dowings​​, @dentseymour​​, @eagleagle​

[thesportssoundoff]

Sometimes Good Enough Just Ain’t Good Enough: 10 Challenges For The Yankees Going Forward

Joey

October 21st

At the end of the year, 29 teams will head into the latter stages of the Fall simply saying they weren't good enough. On Saturday night, it was the Yankees turn to stand up, look in the mirror and say "Not good enough" as they bowed out of the ALCS in the deciding sixth game of the series. When you win 100 games, survive countless injuries, win with a sweep in the ALDS and lose on a walk off in game 6 of the ALCS it's normally a successful season but this is New York where expectations aren't the same as Milwaukee, Oakland, St. Louis or any of the teams who played into October before finally saying "Not good enough!" as they hung up their hats. The Yankees expect championships and it's sometimes mutant fanbase (of which I am firmly a member of) are now going on 10 years of no ticker tape parades. Still let's not lose ourselves to delirium and point out that this is a damn good team with a deep core and plenty of organizational depth to take the next step. The Yankees aren't falling off or in a rebuild; they have a team that guarantees every October, they'll be talking about the chase for 28 in earnest. With the season in the rear view mirror, let's chit chat about ten things the Yankees have to do or figure out as they continue that chase for 28.

1. Fire the training staff

Easy enough! Injuries can sometimes be fluky but good lord, the Yankees were besieged with them. All three starting outfielders (Judge, Stanton, Hicks) saw IL time, their back up OFs saw IL time, their starting catcher saw IL time, starting 1B saw IL time, pitchers both high on the totem pole and in the jabroni ranks went on the IL. Clean house!

2. The same ol' same ol' scramble for a lead starter

Since the end of 2016 when the rebuild was officially over, this team has been chasing  the #1 starter you normally need in the post season. At the end of the day, it's just easier to win in the playoffs when you have a game 1 starter you have endless confidence in. While Boston got away with it in 2018, they also had Chris Sale who maybe didn't pitch like an ace but was clearly one of the top 5 starters in the AL that year.  The big myth is that the Yankees don't have good starting pitching and that is for the most part a lie. The Yankees pitching after the All Star break was pretty solid and in the playoffs they got quality enough from guys like Severino, Paxton and Tanaka on an inconsistent basis. The Yankees pitching rotation is NOT awful and plenty of teams would kill for a 1-2-3 of a healthy Louis Severino, Masahiro Tanaka in big games and James Paxton after the All Star Break where he went 10-3 with a 3.59 ERA and an 11 K/9. In the playoffs, Paxton was more good than bad and Tanaka shoved in two of the three games he pitched in. That said those three have all battled injuries (Paxton admittedly pitched with a knee he never quite felt great about) and all three of them weren't good enough in the playoffs. Maybe that changes with Severino healthy, Paxton more comfortable and Tanaka staying his usual course but it would be difficult to return with the same rotation in tact and say you feel confident about your chances against the Astros. This has been a chase that has spanned three years now as the Yankees tried with James Paxton, Sonny Gray and J.A Happ, were outbit on the likes of Carlos Quintana, Yu Darvish and Gerritt Cole and allegedly never tried for the likes of Marcus Stroman, Patrick Corbin, Justin Verlander and countless others. 2019 will be yet another year where they'll enter Christmas hoping to have a starter locked up.

The two obvious names will play next week when Gerrit Cole and Stephen Strasburg take the bump for Houston and Washington respectively. In the Yankees of old, George Steinbrenner would hand Brian Cashman a blank check and tell him to pay for one IF not both. Time's have changed for better and/or worse with the Yankees. Brian Cashman is a man of due diligence and a man with the longest leash in sports. The Yankees didn't spend on Corbin, didn't try on Harper and made a modicum of effort for Manny Machado last year. In the free agent market, they're likely to not play heavily unless Hal Steinbrenner pretty much demands it.  Paying for Cole and Strasburg is the easier fix but it's an avenue they've shied away from recently plus there are teams who "need" those guys more. The Yankees probably aren't as desperate as, say, the Angels are to win in the Mike Trout era and they've got money to play with so why not? The solution may be the trade market where the Yankees can make some hay in their search for a #1. Brian Cashman has parlayed his farm system (which is still plenty deep) into the opportunity to trade for arms in the past which figures to once again be the case. Conversely in the trade market, the farm is thinner than it's been in recent years AND Cashman prides himself on not losing trades. Also there's not much TO trade out there. Obviously it's his job as a GM to go out and find a potential solution that maybe the public hasn't heard is available but right now who is the best starter knowing that the Mets and the Yankees won't trade? It's not a robust market.

So your solutions are to pull a rabbit out of your hat or pay or hope Severino becomes an ace again after an injury plagued season. I suppose the only potential opt out route would be to sign a Hyun Jin-Ryu or a Jake Odorizzi and hope you can just build a deep rotation of names and faces that will give you quantity (while not high end quality) at the end of it.

3. Figure out Luke Voit

Let's play a game.

Player A- .333/.405/.689 195 wRC+ 14 HR 26.4% K rate Player B- .280/.393/.509 140 wRC+ 19 HR 25.8% K rate Player C- .238/.348/.368 95 wRC+ 4 HR 32.3% K rate

Player A is Luke Voit during his 2018 run with the Yankees Player B is Luke Voit up until he got hurt in the London Series Player C is Luke Voit from July 12th to the end of the year

Voit will never be the guy who took over the MLB in 2018. The sample size was bound to even itself out over time and Voit was bound to cool off when pitchers got to know him better. Player B though is a borderline All Star level first basemen. A power hitter who could hit for average, got on base at a solid clip and play a somewhat manageable first base is an asset for any team but especially a Yankees squad that has been hungry for competent first base play since injuries robbed Mark Texeira of his ability. Then? Voit got hurt. Back issues limited down the stretch and as you can tell by the numbers, Player C was awful. He just looked timid and afraid like he had been sapped of his confidence entirely. Luke Voit got left off the ALCS roster and had to watch as the offense struggled without him. Imagine a confident and healthy Luke Voit at the DH spot instead of Edwin Encarnacion when he went ice cold in the ALCS and maybe the series is a bit different. The Yankees are saddled with determining which half of the Luke Voit story is the real one. The Yankees are a better team when DJ LeMahieu is freed up to play 2B where he's an insanely elite defender and Luke Voit could help in that regard. At the same time? The Yankees have been burnt in the past by gambling at 1B (like when they kept thinking Greg Bird would finally put it together) and options would help. Even if he ran out of gas, Edwin Encarnacion did some good work when he was healthy and few dudes hit dingers the way he does when he's locked in. There's also Greg Bird I guess? Which reminds me....

4. MAYBE chase better balance

I don't believe a team gets better by marrying itself to letters next to names ie: we have to have x amount of leties in our pen. I do think that the Yankees righty heavy lineup could use some better balance. The team was batting Gardner 3rd in the playoffs despite his inability to do much of anything for stretches because they felt like they needed someone to break up the righties at the top of the bill. With two lefties about to hit free agency, maybe the Yankees need to flirt a bit with shaking things up in their lineup. Getting back a healthy Hicks would help of course but in general, this team could benefit from having maybe one more competent lefty bat especially if Did is out of here. It's not the sexiest name alive but given Voit's struggles down the stretch and the fact that they could probably use a more competent 1B defensively, maybe Mitch Moreland (former Red Sox 1B) as a back up/defensive replacement could make sense. Coming off an injury plagued season where he was still pretty damn productive vs righties. Maybe this is even where Mike Ford (who caught on late) fits as a future part of the team.

5. Figure out your free agents

Dellin Betances- There's some serious rebound value in bringing Betances back at fair market value. The Yankees just never had a replacement for what Betances could do as a pseudo fireman; a guy with low contact rates who can K a side and come in the middle of an inning to calm things down. Betances at a multi year deal would be a fair and modest investment.

Brett Gardner- There's a group of mutant Yankee fans who hate Brett Gardner and I feel like people forget Gardner was supposed to be at the very most a part time 4th OF. Injuries forced Gardner to continually play and he answered the bell quite well every time. He'll likely take a step back next year BUT he'll also be asked to play less.

Edwin Encarnacion- Was absolutely brutal in the ALCS but hits for power and usually has composed at bats. Was always a hired gun who the Yankees were probably gonna buy out when the time was right.

Didi Gregorios- Ugh. Didi went from being one of Brian Cashman's biggest steals and a potential cornerstone to a guy who will probably be allowed to test the open market. Didi's strengths are his defense, his clubhouse presence and his better than advertised bat but the Yankees have been waiting on him to take a firm step into top 10 SS for about two years now and it's not coming. He deserves a lot of credit for battling back from injury but he was brutal outside of games vs the Twins. I also sort of feel like his approach is all wrong for the Yankees as its constructed. For a team that preaches patience at the place and commanding the strike zone, Didi's approach often gets worse the more pitches he takes so he often swings at the first pitch and often does so when it's the wrong time. Defensively it looked like he took a step back as well although that may have been due to injury. The Yankees are better with DJ at 2nd and Gleyber at short and a competent 1B manning that spot but they love Didi so much (and he's so valuable when he's right) that they kept forcing him into the spot.

Austin Romine- Catching across the league is bad and Romine, noodle arm aside, is a solid back up catcher. Those tend to get signed for decent coin and normally for multi year deals. As such the Yankees need to maybe consider their options at the BUC spot because they won't have Romine.

Cameron Maybin- I'm not entirely sure Maybin's got a real fit here now. If Stanton, Judge and Hicks are healthy then it's probably him vs Gardner because Mike Tauchman has a long term future here. I wish Cameron Maybin well, he was a breath of fresh of air in the locker room and he deserves to have a good spot on a team somewhere.

6. Figure your outfield situation out

We know Judge, Stanton and Hicks are going to be here. Mike Tauchman was a star and a half for a month and change before injuries finally sapped him of his super powers. Gardner is a free agent but I'm betting the Yankees will bring him back comfortably so. Beyond them you have Estevan Florial (a former Yankees top prospect on a slide), Clint Frazier (a borderline toxic fit for the Yankees) as well as pseudo OFs Tyler Wade and Thairo Estrada. The Yankees OF depth tends to get tested throughout the year but is Clint Frazier better suited to be a trade piece for some team in desperate need of an outfielder?

7. Settle the 'pen out a bit.

Yankees have four tremendous bullpen arms tied up with Britton, Ottavino, Green and Kahnle comfortably under wraps. Aroldis Chapman will probably opt out in a so-so closer's market and the Yankees will probably re-sign him (they took the PR smear after trading for him and then brought him back so clearly they value him). If not? Britton was an ace closer but in general the bullpen needs more arms. Remember the CLOSEST they got for a trade in July was for Bluejays closer Ken Giles so I'd imagine they'll poke around there too. If you can't find a starter of high quality and won't trade for one then you need one more big arm in the pen. It'd be pretty cool to both a) get a stud reliever and b) hurt your primary rivalries by signing either Joe Smith or Will Harris from under Houston.

8. Find a role for whatever J.A. Happ is.

The Yankees got ace level production of J.A. Happ when they had him in 2018 and even including his playoff bust vs Boston, bringing him back in some form or fashion seemed like a can't miss concept. Well it done missed. Pick whatever metric you want and Happ was genuinely bad for a Yankees team that desperately needed him to ONLY be a competent arm. He did improve as the season went along (imagine how awful he had to be that his last five starts with a 2.33 ERA that it managed to ONLY finish at a sub 5 ERA) and a lot of his game felt like it was just blitzed by the juiced ball and a lack of adapting to that. Happ is still under contract for 2020 and it's going to be hard to shake his deal so you're stuck with him. Figure out I guess if he's a long man, a 5th starter or a really overly expensive LOOGY type.

9. Battle royal the 5th spot

Keeping with that, the Yankees were roasted for their lack of SP depth and it showed up big last year. The fact that this team turned to an opener and wound up riding the likes of Chance Adams and Nestor Cortes as long men suggests they got got by the lack of options in the rotation. Turn the 5th spot into a battle royal position. Jordan Montgomery, J.A. Happ, Johnny Lasagna, a few retreads on other teams who are a tinkered arm angle away from being a competent 5th starter etc etc etc. Don't go into the year just figuring your minor league depth options are going to be enough because it probably won't be.

Unless you want to sign Zack Wheeler or Jake Odorizzi and be done with it.

10. Accept Gary Sanchez

I guess this is more for Yankees fans than anybody else. Gary Sanchez is a good catcher. Offensively when he's healthy, he's among the game's best and defensively? He's actually improving really well to be one of the better catches in the AL. He has a crazy throwing arm and while stolen bases are becoming less frequent, he's still got the ability to further mitigate that.  Sanchez is a good player who plays the most physically demanding position in baseball and does a good job at it. His playoff numbers were abysmal this year but I still have faith.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Avengers, Disassemble!

I’m going to tell you a story to make a point, a true story, but in the words of the late Jack Enyart, I will change the names “to protect the innocent and confound the guilty.’

. . .

Once upon a time, w-a-a-a-y back before we had word processors or the Internet or even bulletin board systems, Producer Pete got the rights to do an Avengers TV show.

All of us who worked for Producer Pete Productions kvelled at this idea:  The Avengers!  Marvel’s mightiest heroes!  We couldn’t wait to jump on it.

…and we didn’t have to wait.  Producer Pete got the rights on a Monday, called the network on Tuesday to pitch the idea to them, the network said send us an outline for the pilot and some sample art and we’ll let you know.

Send it by Thursday.

This Thursday.

In the morning.

First thing.

(Oh, did I mention Producer Pete was in Los Angeles and the network suits were in New York?  I didn’t?  Well, keep that in mind -- along with the fact we had no such thing as the Internet or emails back in the day.)

Producer Pete appraised us of this late Tuesday.  A complete detailed outline and production art in 36 hours.  A tough challenge…

…but it could be done.

First we hammered out a format for the show: An hour in length, not a mere half hour, and thus with six segments instead of three.  Each episode would tell a big overarching story, but segments 1 through 5 would be standalone adventures focusing on just one of the Avengers while segment 6 would wrap everything up in a big bright bow.

We quickly came up with a story idea and even called in a couple of freelance writers and artists to get everything done by 6pm on Wednesday, which was the latest we could drop the material off at FedEx and hope to get it to NYC first thing Thursday.

The Avengers team assembled.  Producer Pete put me in charge of shepherding the project.  I gathered the writers and art crew around noon on Wednesday and ran them through the broad strokes quickly:

“Al, you write the Captain America segment,  That’s our opening.  Make sure Cappy does A by the end of the segment so it can tie in with Bob’s segment.

“Bob, you write Namor’s segment.  Take A and add B to it so Carol can pick up where you leave off with the Vision.

“Carol, you take A and B, add C so Dave can add D; Dave, pass A, B, C, and D to Ed; Ed, you make sure to add E and when you’re all done I’ll go over the entire thing and write the last segment where all the Avengers assemble and do A through E together.”

I then gave out similar assignments to the artists.  They didn’t have to reflect exactly what any of the writers wrote, but they needed to make sure Cappy did A, Namor did B, etc.

Six writers, six artists, six hours.  It could be done.  We were off and running…

…except for Bob.

Bob was a talented writer, wrote very funny stuff, but he was as deaf as a post and vain about his condition.

I went over the beats at least twice with everybody in the room, each time asking the assembled crew:  “Have you got that?”

And they all nodded and said they did.

Even Bob.

And I also told them that if they had any problems, come straight to me, I’d help work ‘em out ASAP.

Six writers.

Six artists.

Six short written segments.

Six pieces of art.

Six hours.

Piece o’ cake, right?

Bob did not hear me telling the crew to come straight to me if they ran into any problems.

Instead he went to Producer Pete and said, “I can’t figure out what this thing is regarding Namor and B.  Howzabout if instead of B I did 2?”

“Sure,” said Producer Pete, sealing our fates.

Four o’clock rolls around.  The preliminary art looks great, the artists are inking and coloring.  Al and Carol and Dave and Ed turn in their segments, and everything fits together perfectly.

Bob drops off his Namor segment.

The segment with 2 instead of B.

“Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!” says I.  “What’s this?  Bob, we need Namor to do B not 2.  Go back and fix it.”

Bob goes back, but he doesn’t fix it.  He looks up Producer Pete instead.  “Buzz doesn’t like your idea about 2, he wants to do B.”

“Tell him to do 2,” says Producer Pete.  Once he put his mark on a story, it was going to stay that way, regardless of what had been discussed and agreed upon earlier.

Bob relays this news to me.  I go see Producer Pete.  Producer Pete listens to my explanation why we need Bob to write B instead of 2, nods, and says, “Do 2 instead.”

Well, this throws a monkey wrench in the proceedings, because we can’t have the Avengers doing A, B, C, D, and E in the last segment, can we?

The writers are ready to leave but I corral them and explain the situation.  They are not happy, but they know what needs to be done and get back to work.

I intercept the artists and explain they need to redo the art to reflect 1 through 5 instead of A through E.

They are even less happy than the writers, but they start redoing the almost completed art.

I alert the office manager and tell her she needs to keep a couple of typists on duty (remember, this is before word processing; we writers handed in rough drafts, frequently corrected with red pens or literally cut and pasted together, and a secretary or typists would need to retype the material in presentable form).

They’re even less happy than the artists (who at least have the benefit of chemical enhancements).

But there’s more bad news: Because the art needs to be redone, we’re gonna miss the 6pm deadline for regular FedEx service.

Fortunately, the office manager has a replacement -- more expensive, but available.  If we can get the work done by 7pm, we can take advantage of a special courier service used by banks and big businesses.

Well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right?

And Bob?

I told him he’d done a great job and that he could go home.

Wasn’t gonna keep him around to screw things up again.

(Don’t think I bore any grudge against Bob; I realized the fault lay with me not making sure, not him failing to understand.  I worked with him a couple of times after that, but never on any projects with crucial deadlines.)

We plunge ahead.  Now we’re getting desperate (well, not the typists; they’re merely getting cranky).

Producer Pete needed to attend some function that evening so around 6:30pm he starts heading out the door.  The office manager and I intercept him with a vital question:  If the artists haven’t finished all six pieces of art by 7pm, can we got with what we’ve got?

“No.  I promised ‘em six pieces of art, they’re gonna get six pieces of art.”

So off he went, and back I went to do what I could to speed the artists along.

You can only lay down inks and colors so fast, and this was not merely a case of new art but old art to be retouched in order for the new to go over it.

And that didn’t include mounting said art on large boards for a professional looking presentation.

7pm starts breathing down our necks.  We’ve got four pieces done.  We contact Producer Pete at his function and ask if we can go with four instead of six.

Long pause.  “Is the final segment among the four?”

=groan= No.

“Don’t send it unless you can include the big climax.”

7pm zooms past.  We do not notice the lovely sound Douglas Adams claims it makes.

Now we’re really at wit’s end.  Contact Producer Pete at his function again.  He is not happy.  Explain the situation.

Fortunately the office manager found an even more expensive solution:   A special service that will send a personal courier across the country via red eye flight to deliver the presentation first thing in the morning.

Not only does it cost a huge hunka cash to hire this service, but said courier must fly first-class round trip.

I tell Producer Pete he can buy me an economy round trip ticket and I would personally deliver the presentation.

Producer Pete asks me to put office manager on the line.

Tells office manager if necessary, she is to shoot me to prevent my having any face-to-face encounter with the network.

Fortunately the last two artists finish their pieces just minutes shy of the super-expensive super-exclusive courier’s 8pm deadline.

He shows up at the front door, we thrust the presentation into his arms, spin him around, and shove him into the cab.

He makes it to the airport, catches the flight, delivers the presentation the next day as contracted.

The art crew and I and a couple of writers who wanted to see if we’d make it or not decide we need to blow off some steam.

Problem: Producer Pete’s studio is w-a-a-a-y out in the boonies; there are no nearby places to get a meal or a drink.

Solution: We commandeer Producer Pete’s liquor cabinet and drain it dry.

P.S.: The network rejects the show.

P.P.S.: Producer Pete buys a liquor cabinet with a lock on it.

. . .

So why tell you all this?

I get criticized a lot for being extremely specific and precise in my details.

Now let me state, this isn’t true 100% of the time.

I don’t need to micromanage everything.

But if I know what I want, then I want that, not something close to it, not something approximating it. 

If the final product doesn’t need to fit a precise need, I’m typically fine with letting people do what they feel best.

But when I give explicit instructions, I’ve got a reason.

And sometimes why I want it is so involved and complex that’s it’s just easier for me to say “Do it at 700dpi” than explain we’re anticipating the artwork being repurposed at some point in the future.

Just.

Do.

It.

…or refuse…

But please don’t say you will then ignore what I tell you I need.

. . .

Ironically, the exact opposite of this scenario also plagues me.

If you include a detail in your instructions, I assume that detail is important.

If you tell me to contact Jane in the accounting department, I’m gonna contact Jane even if there’s a half dozen other people who can help me just as easily.

Don’t distract me with superfluous details.

“Contact the accounting department” not “Contact Jane”, comprende?

(I’m not the least bit surprised I need to explain this to many of you…)

 © Buzz Dixon