#just committed arson :333333

[maxthesillyy]

played zelda breath of the wild rn and 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[emoweeb-the-simp]

someone said yes to the tf2 post so fuck it we ball with

general merc relationships hcs!!!

(friendship & dating)

i'm trying to make this as gender neutral as possible. also no romance w pyro bcs i hc him as aroace :) s/o means significant other, but in this case, a petname for a gf, bf, etc!

Scout

() scout is the friend ever

() he has got your back!!!

() adhd icon

() maybe with enough convincing, you teach this man how to READ.

() ...& then he falls for you.

() he just sees you one day & is like "wait why are they cute now"

() he just starts joking about wanting to date like "yo what if we kissed lol" as a joke

() & YOU ACTUALLY KISS HIM.

() he's red now

() like

() redder than a cherry & tomato combined

() he makes it real obv that you both are dating, he means well though </3

() "GUESS WHO'S GOT A (s/o) NOW!!! SUCK IT!!"

() will stop if it makes you uncomfy or embarrassed :)

() huge on pda & petnames but they're corny petnames

() only problem is that he is easily jealous.

() "HEY! that's MY (s/o) pally, find ya own!"

() if some knucklehead even thinks of flirting with you, he will give them a very strongly worded speech about his s/o being his

() not to the point of being a yandere though, he will fight a dude for you but he won't (intentionally) kill someone!



Solly

(bear w me i'm not too good w soldier)

() this man. is autistic. i can confirm because i am autistic with adhd

() no convincing will change my mind

() ANYWAYS you are the most active person on the field other than scout

() & brave at that

() when this guy yelled at you, you kept a straight face

() no reaction or tears

() if you hate loud noises, he will be a lil more quiet to you after that :]

() also you became soldiers favorite person in the base bcs of that

() but the exercises are NOT easier but the only exception is that if you aren't really fit or you have a medical condition. he is NOT a monster.

() "MAGGOT!!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER DOES NOT MEAN IT SHALL BE EASIER!!!"

() this man can GRILL

() he has some good grilling skills, but not cooking skills.

() solly slowly falls for you but doesn't even know it.

() & when he DOES realize it's love, he is IMMEDIATE to ask you

() "HEY CUPCAKE! DO YOU WANNA DATE ME?"

() you are VERY flustered

() but you return his feelings ofc & now when someone slightly insults or teases you, he will yell at them.

() "MY (s/o) IS NOT A BASTARD, YOU ARE!!! NOW DROP & GIVE US 20!"

() you are his chill pill. you're the only person who can calm him down

() like scout, he easily gets jealous.

() he thinks you're a blessing to 'murica & he NEVER says that to anyone so he means it <3

() he has a hidden soft side that you activate in him & it is the most adorable thing ever <333333



Pyro

(nonromantic btw)

() you became besties the day you understood him.

() he isn't really a bad guy :)

() he is roommates w engi.

() "ah, ya here to see pyro again? don't stress about it, hun, come on in." :)

() you LOVE drawing together

() he compliments everything you do & hypes you up!! :D

() MANCHILD

() despite being besties, he will NEVER. EVER. show what's under the mask.

() only engineer & medic know, & they will NOT tell you. >:(

() "sorry kid, i can't tell ya what's under the mask."

() "HAH! do you zhink I vould tell YOU?! not in a MILLION YEARS!!"

() you're one of the only people stopping him from "going into pyroland" (committing arson)



Engineer

(tw: amputation mention!! just one but STILL!!!)

() you show a heavy interest in scientific/engineering stuff

() so

() you attract him

() he shows you his gunslinger, short circuit, etc., & you're all impressed

() you then ask if he had no arm at birth so he made the lil hand attachments & he just goes "oh hahah yeah yeah..."

() he had it amputated by the medic turns out. he keeps it a secret between himself & the doctor to this day.

() he has

() the best

() cooking

() ever.

() like fr

() LET. HIM. COOK.

() when he falls for you, he immediately knows

() but he's been heartbroken before

() so, he just stares at you with loving eyes, daydreaming about a future life that may never happen...

() ...until py(b)ro does eventually make him confess because he learned from the doctor that compressing feelings is bad & it is big nono bad >:(

() he couldn't say no to that level of cuteness! so...

() he confesses to you via love song on his guitar

() ain't no way you're saying no to this. if you do, no you didn't you said yes shhhhhh

() every once in a while, he'll let you hold his gunslinger hand :')

() it's cold but also warm?????

() but fyi, he is a busy man

() you have to remind him to sleep or he will accidentally pull an all-nighter

() but his cuddles make up for it ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

() SOFTEST TUMMY EVER <33333333333333333

() you help each other with burnout ofc



Demoman

() you stole his last scrumpy

() oh boy was he PISSED at you

() you two both yelled at each other & it almost got physical

() ...

() then you two became best friends.

() like WHAT IN THE HELL?

() so now you both share drinks every night together <3

() which is how he fell for you

() you're tough, strong, & also a lil sassy!!

() he took a lil too many drinks one night &-

() "eruhhhhhh i think i love ye man..." & then proceeds to slur his words furthermore

() you're cuddling him when he wakes up & he almost has a heart attack

() but he doesn't leave your arms

() he snuggles closer to you <3

() this man is tied w engineer for the best cuddles imo they are TEDDY BEARS

() protects you at all costs

() oh btw his eyelander hates him being so lovey-dovey

() but you two will have small talk

() do not touch eyelander

() DO NOT TOUCH EYELANDER

() DO N O T TOUCH EYELANDER

() eyelander will be pissed & trying to attack you while demoman will worried

() not fun. 1/10. do not recommend



Heavy

() you were fluent in russian & english

() so you served to him as a translator for a bit

() he seemed intimidating

() one day you were doing your workout in the base & heavy noticed & was like " little person strong??"

() so you & him are gr8 friends now

() will give you a crumb of the sandvich

() that's it though

() you are always complementing sasha/sascha & apparently heavy can speak gun because heavy is saying that sasha/sascha says thanks :)

() idk if it's sasha or sascha i seen both so bear w me

() he eventually, like everyone else on this list, falls for you

() like engineer, he makes some sort of art with words for you

() unlike engineer though, it's a poem <3333333

() it's specifically in russian so no one but you or him can understand it

() became lovey lovey with him FAST

() he is the equivalent of a bear

() a lil intimidating at first

() but depending on who you are, he loves you <3

() will stop guys flirting w you UNINTENTIONALLY

() "hey sweetch- HOLY SHIT-" *running* () "hm? why..why was little boy running?"

() if he ever forgets a certain word in english, he comes to you :)

() lifts you up A LOT

() he means well by it

() if you tell him to not do that, he ofc will stop for you



Medic

() you didn't take his bullshittery. you were thinking:

() "MAN IF YOU DON'T CUT THAT SHIT OUT-"

() but instead of thinking it, you accidentally said it.

() oops.

() thankfully it was just you & him.

() you knew a thing or two about medical stuff so you two bonded!!!

() you, him & engi helped w experiments that either of you had!

() you also talked about random things

() he is secretly a softie & falls HARD for you

() like with engi, he's afraid to tell you because he's been heartbroken as well,

() but he does want to be alone with you more often than usual,

() so you figure him out & wait

() he does eventually confess, & was very relieved that you felt mutual with him

() yeah you two spend a lot of time together more, but ofc you still hang out w engi!!

() it wld be very rude to just leave him behind like that >:(

() although he will accidentally pull an all-nighter too if you forget to make him come to bed.

() calls you "mein Täubchen" or any other german petname he can think of

() you & his doves are close friends

() OH one time you & him were practically cuddling on his chair while he was working right, & then archimedes flew on down to your head & rested there

() you're sure it was to just get medics attention but medic LOVED it

() you were asleep though :(



Sniper

() loner

() you become friends after making sure he isn't being attacked by a spy

() you give him a warning sign that there lies a spy

() now he lies behind sniper

() "ey, thank ye for earlier"

() "ah no worries, i'm always glad to help!"

() you'll visit his van & chill

() doesn't even realize he's fell

() he just zones out on you a lot more.

() you confess first & he's like "wait that was the feeling?"

() he's never felt this way give him a break </3

() shy, at first

() he does branch out to you more

() takes you out on camping & maybe hunting dates if you're comfy with it :)

() keeps the relationship PRIVATE

() "ey look luv, as much as i love ya, if we share this with anyone, our careers are done for"

() means it in the best way though



Spy

() flirts with each other abound

() started as jokes, ended in actual love

() you eventually ask "hey are we actually dating?"

() he says "maybe, if you want to" to mess w you & flirt

() you SWOONED just by those words

() so you two are ALREADY dating

() you go FAST with him friendship & relationship wise

() by the second date, you two probably 👉👌

() of course, he is taking this relationship TO THE GRAVE.

() if ANY rumor were to get out about "spy has a (s/o)", he will deny it until EVERYONE is convinced.

() he loves you oh so much

() he TRULY means well & will protect you by any means necessary

() after he checks everywhere to be sure nobody is looking, he'll show you what's under the mask & tell you his real name

() the only rule with that is to call him by his name in private

() & ONLY in private

() outside, you two may never be alone

() he'll ramble to you about his life as you sleep on his chest <3



sorry it took a bit, school & life always kick my ass