#just because i am paranoid does not mean they are not out to get us

[darlingdaisyfarm]

What do u think dad!Ford would be like? 🥹

☆彡 Ford Pines as a dad :)

★ his past haunts him. Ford is hyper-aware of his own mistakes and he’s terrified of repeating them. if he gets snappy or distant, he always circles back to apologise to his kid. “i didn’t mean to upset you. im still learning how to be better at this.”

★ academic expectations aren’t a thing for him. Ford understands the pressure of being “the smart one” better than anyone, so he refuses to let his kid feel the same weight. they could be an artist, a gardener, or a professional bubble blower, he’ll support them 100%

★ awkward, deeply earnest. he’s the dad who gives his kid a PowerPoint presentation on how much he loves them or offers comfort by saying things like: “i believe your emotional pain is valid and deserves acknowledgment.” but he’ll also stay up all night building a model of the andromeda galaxy for their science fair because he wants them to feel supported

★ he loves teaching them. not in a pushy way, but because it brings him joy to share what he knows

★ he's willing to explain the same thing 20 times if they don’t understand it or sit through the same annoying kids’ movie on repeat because it makes them happy

★ paranoid protector. if you think Stan is overprotective, Ford is worse. he teaches his kid how to build a Faraday cage just in case someone tries to control their brainwaves

★ PROUD NERD DAD. he’s that parent. the one who builds overly complicated science projects for the school fair or accidentally intimidates the teacher by asking if the curriculum includes quantum mechanics

★ Ford has seen things. he’s fought interdimensional monsters and battled with Bill Cipher, so yeah, he’s terrified of his kid getting hurt.

“you can’t go to that sleepover. what if it’s a trap set by extradimensional entities?!”

“dad, it’s just Timmy’s house.”

“just Timmy’s house, you say? that’s exactly what Bill would want me to think!”

★ he gives his kid tracking devices disguised as bracelets and builds a mini forcefield generator for their room. It’s a lot, but it all boils down to one thing: he’s terrified of losing them, like he almost lost Stan

★ notes on the fridge with text “out of milk. also, don’t touch the glowing rock in the lab, it might be sentient.”

★ Ford doesn’t always know how to express affection, but he’s so proud of his kid. hes the guy clapping too loud at the school play, or awkwardly trying to high-six after a good report card

★ i have a feeling he'll insist on preparing the kid for every possible situation, from wilderness survival to escaping an alternate dimension. he turns a simple camping trip into an intense survivalist training session.

“so you see this? this is how you create a makeshift compass using only a magnet and some swamp water. now, repeat it back to me.”

“Dad, can we just roast marshmallows?”

★ Ford knows he’s made some very questionable choices in life. and he’s determined to steer his kid away from making the same mistakes. but he also knows that life isn’t meant to be lived in fear. so he tries to let his kid explore and make their own mistakes, even if it kills him to watch

★ he does these impressions of weird creatures he’s studied to make the kid laugh or making up ridiculous bedtime stories about interdimensional adventures

★ being genuinely interested in whatever the kid loves. they mention liking stars? he’s pulling out telescopes and teaching them how to navigate by constellations. they doodle in a notebook? he’s buying them every art supply and researching the history of visual storytelling

★ if the kid needs help with a project, he’ll spend hours (or days) going overboard. you’ll find him at 2 AM in his study, hunched over a model volcano, muttering about optimizing the lava flow

★ casually mentions his interdimensional adventures at dinner and the kid eats it up because, let’s face it, having a dad who’s basically Indiana Jones with extra trauma is awesome

★ he’s terrified of being a bad father, of not being enough, and that fear can make him distant at times. he overthinks every decision, convinced he’s going to mess it all up. what if he's too much like his father? what if he pushes his kid too hard? but the thing is, he cares, so much. and his kid knows it, even if Ford’s love is sometimes wrapped up in layers of self-doubt and fear

★ if anyone messes with his kid oh, they’re done. Ford may be a nerd, but he’s also a six-fingered genius who’s survived the multiverse. he’ll calmly dismantle anyone who threatens his family

★ Ford's bedtime stories start off like normal fairy tales, but somehow they end as “and so, the starfish rebuilt its missing limb, but it always remembered the one it lost. and it knew that even though it was whole again, some things leave scars you never see.” you’re sobbing. the kid’s sobbing. Ford’s eyes are suspiciously glassy as he kisses them on the forehead and mutters something about needing to adjust the humidity in the room.

★ bonus point if he’s reading his kid a bedtime story, he gets way too into it, doing all the voices and even sketching out illustrations

★ Ford may not be that emotional as his brother, except when it comes to his kid. their first stick-figure drawing? framed in his study. their macaroni art project? encased in glass because he’s convinced it’s a modern masterpiece

★ i think Ford is usually the patient parent. but one day, after hours of hearing “why can’t I do this? why am I not good enough?” from his kid, he loses it.

“you think you’re not good enough? do you know what I see when I look at you? i see someone braver than I ever was, smarter than I’ll ever be and kinder than this world deserves. you are my child, my greatest achievement and if I hear you doubt yourself again, so help me, I’ll—” and then he has to stop because both of them are crying and hugging

★ he insists on teaching the kid “important life skills,” but half the time it’s just him geeking out while the kid watches in awe/confusion “okay now, if you ever find yourself trapped in an alternate dimension, here’s how you build a rudimentary portal using only a toaster and three rubber bands.”

“. . . can you teach me how to ride a bike instead?”

“right. yes. of course. bikes.”

★ and he never stops learning. about his kid, about himself, about what it means to be a father. it’s not always easy, but Ford is nothing if not resilient

★ Ford’s idea of a trip is hiking through the woods with a map and an emergency beacon, dragging his kid along while pointing out flora and fauna. “see this plant? highly toxic. don’t touch it.”

★ his passion for research often pulls him away, but he doesn’t want to miss a thing. over time, he learns to put boundaries in place, to walk away from the lab when it’s time for dinner or to prioritize their soccer game over his latest discovery

[machet-t-omniversal]

I added #AccurateHumanRecord to just this little page on Dictionary.com. should someone (a.i.?) add those to phrases to every written occurrence? A native-oriented a.i. correction/addition everywhere from now on...? Revise the revisions!

[dwaekkicidal]

𝖪𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗍𝗈𝖻𝖾𝗋: '𝖱𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖨 𝖶𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖸𝗈𝗎.' ༄࿔ L.K.

⤷ Dubcon/Noncon | Knife Play | Spanking

♱ word count: 2.3k

♱ warnings: this has darker content!! dont like? dont interact: dubcon/noncon, fem!reader, ghostface!minho, reader switches up during the ending but during the smut minho has control, knife play (1 small nick and he carves his name into readers back but its shallow), light mentions of blood, spanking, p in v with no prep or condom (be safe about this irl pls), open ending?

♱ notes: this was so self indulgent because im slowly becoming obsessed with slashers again 🥴

not properly proofread! i will go through it later in the day after i sleep <3

Kinktober Schedule

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

The cabin you were staying at was eerily silent as you sat in the dimly lit living room. It was a rental that you had planned to stay at for a week to spend your vacation off of work and it was absolutely beautiful during the day. Though, the forest surrounding it combined with the knowledge of just how far the nearest area with people made for a rather scary experience during the night time.

Part of you was on edge as you made your way past the floor-to-ceiling windows towards the kitchen and chills ran up your spine as you stared out those same windows only to be met with complete darkness. Not even the moon was enough to cast light on the tall trees.

‘Maybe a glass of water will help.’ You had been tossing and turning in bed for hours before you gave up and settled in the living room, only to discover that there was no signal on the TV. You were lucky to have even 1 bar as you opened your phone to check the time; 2:46 AM.

It wasn’t a horrible time to be awake, but the promise of sleep would have helped with the paranoid itching in the back of your head. Anybody could break in and nobody wouldn’t know until it was too late. And even if you knew, you were a long way from any means of help-

A sudden creak in the floorboards catches your attention. Your neck snapped towards the dark hallway, then again to the huge windows as your heart raced. The Airbnb host stated that it’s an old house so it’s known to make many noises, so ‘It was probably nothing’. You repeated this to yourself over and over again as you chugged the rest of your water and turned to clean the glass, hoping the distraction would help with the anxiety.

But just as your hand wraps around the tap handle, another creak is heard and a hand wraps around your mouth. Another slides around your front and pushes a long kitchen knife against your neck. The intruder uses his whole body to roughly push you into the counter and your heart drops as you let out a scream in surprise.

The feeling of the cold counter is almost soothing as his deep, nearly robotic, voice meets your ears. “Haven’t seen you around here before… If I take my hand off your mouth, you won’t make me angry and scream for help, right?” He slides the knife along your neck, nicking the skin there slightly as a warning.

Your lack of a response makes him chuckle and he traces the tip of the knife along your cheek, “It’s not like anybody will hear you anyway, but I wouldn’t want this pretty face to get hurt. So what do you say?” You nod as best as you can in this position and let out a quiet sob when his palm releases your face.

“P-Please…Don’t kill me.” Your plea comes out in a quiet whisper, hoping the hushed voice won’t upset your attacker. If it does, he doesn’t let it be seen in the slightest.

“Shhhhh” He tuts at you and rolls his hips forward, rubbing his hard-on against your ass and forcing your hips farther into the countertop. The pinching of your skin between your bone and the marble top makes you hiss in pain, but he ignores you and rubs your hip with his now free hand.

“Let’s play a game~” He doesn’t give you time to respond before he flips you around, wrapping a hand around your neck as he roughly pins you to the counter again.

You’re finally met with his face- or what would be his face, but is instead a long, white ghost mask that would be comical if you didn’t notice the feeling of a drop of blood running down your neck from where he nicked you.

“I’m a little stressed out, so I’m gonna fuck this sweet cunt of yours. If you play nice, I’ll let you live. But if you act like a bitch, I'll kill you!”

The joyful tone in his voice causes your skin to crawl and you let out a quiet sob of fear at the deadly ultimatum. Your choices are quite slim, and you can’t deny the ache that’s starting between your legs, so you don’t take long to nod in agreement.

“Mmmm… Smart girl. Let’s get this off of you then, yeah?” He tugs at your pajama shorts and finally moves the knife off your skin, giving you just enough leeway to move around and pull your shorts down. Once they’re far enough down your legs to drop to your ankles on their own, the unknown man behind you spins you around and immediately pulls your shirt up and over your head.

He sighs almost dreamily against the mask and you watch his head tilt down as he takes in your naked torso. You can feel his stare on you for a while longer until his head tilts further and he’s met with the sight of your pretty panties- the ones that are keeping him from his “prize.”

He curses under his breath and snakes his empty hand to the back of your neck. He grasps you tightly and uses his grip there to lead you to the huge windows, pushing you against them roughly.

“What a pretty piece of ass you got here, baby.” The hand on your neck moves down in favor of grabbing a handful of your ass cheek, landing a teasing slap there as he finishes his sentences. “Might have to go home with you- make you my little pet.” You moan both at the implication of him following you home as well as the delicious sting on your ass.

The masked man chuckles darkly and lands a harsher slap on your other ass cheek. “Call me crazy but I think you like that idea. Hmmmm? Wanna be my little kitty- my little toy for me to fuck whenever I feel like it?” You were starting to get too comfortable, and he seems to realize it. So he brings you back right to where he wants you by sliding his free hand around to your tummy. 

The occupied hand runs the sharp side of the knife around your back, leaving shallow lines that you can’t quite make out. But none of that matters. Not when he’s sliding his hand into your panties, rubbing his gloved fingertip through your soaked folds.

You’re almost thankful that he can’t tell through the gloves, but the stinging pain of the knife almost carving into your skin is diverting your attention from the rough circles on your clit. Thankfully, though, he finishes his “design” faster than you thought he would.

The feeling of a thick finger entering you grabs your attention, making you moan loudly and buck your hips against his hand. A muffled laugh is heard through the mask and his voice is husky as he speaks again, “Gonna be good for me and let me fuck this pretty pussy now, yeah?”

You don't respond right away and he pulls his finger out of you, pinching your clit meanly. “I asked you a question.” His partially wet glove comes down harshly on your ass and leaves a red mark in its wake.

You let out a squeak at the pain and apologize profusely before responding to him. “Y-Yes!”

“Good girl. You almost lost the game there, baby.” He laughs to himself and you watch in the reflection of the glass as he brings the knife down between your thighs. Part of you is horrified at what he might try, and the other part is rather aroused at the possibilities that run through your head.

But he shuts them all down when he slides the dull side against your thigh and leads it to your underwear. He runs his hand along your spine and leans you forward, pushing your ass out for him as the knife dips into your underwear- dull side up.

With this he slices downwards in one swoop, slicing your panties and causing you to gasp in surprise. You can almost hear the smile on his face as he shushes you and slices one of the sides next.

Your arms shake as they rest against the cold glass of the window and you sit there helplessly as he rids you of the ruined fabric. Once you’re left completely bare, he whistles in satisfaction and leans back.

His hand squeezes your ass cheek appreciatively as the hand with the knife rests at your hip, itching to touch you as well but knowing better than to let his guard down so easily. No matter how well-behaved you've been for him so far.

“Such a pretty thing. I really should keep you to myself.” He hums and bites down on your ear. You hear the knife get tossed beside you onto the wood floor before one of his hands slides into your hair, tangling with the strands there and tugging your neck backward. 

All of a sudden the sound of metal hitting wood meets your ears and you see the knife lying on the floor, a couple of feet from where you two stand. Then his hands are removed from you for mere seconds as he hooks his thumbs into his pants and pushes down, hurriedly shoving his boxers down alongside his jeans.

The sound of his jeans hitting the floor makes your thighs clench and he takes notice immediately. He coos from behind you and you can almost hear the smile on his face through the mask as he slides himself through your folds a few times, teasing you and testing how far gone he’s got you.

Your desperate grinding gives him the only answer he needs and he finally pushes in, groaning at the feeling of your tight cunt wrapped around him.

“Shit… You feel so good.” The cool plastic of the ghost mask meets your shoulder as he lays his forehead down against it.

You can’t hold back the whine that builds in the back of your throat and your nails scratch into the glass as much as they physically can as he starts to move already.

“P-Please…” You’re not so sure what you’re asking for. Maybe it was mercy. Or maybe, just maybe, all those months of research about some local town's serial killer were finally paying off.

But who needs to know that? The man behind you is completely oblivious as he pulls his hips back just to drive them back into you. You barely remember it yourself from the way his tip, thick and pulsing, rams into your G-spot.

So much so that you can feel your orgasm sneaking up so much sooner than it usually would. It eventually wracks through your body like a train as the hand in your hair tightens, holding you close to him as he slows his hips to a slow grind.

“Fffuck.. Tight little cunt, baby. But I’m not done just yet.” He picks up his pace once more and uses his free hand to caress your hips, squeezing the flesh there appreciatively before landing a slap against the same area.

He soothes it with another rub, though short-lived before his hand finds its home on your ass cheek. There he lands a series of slaps paired with his muffled moans as you clench around him incessantly.

The hand in your hair finally releases its grip only to find another on the back of your throat again. He uses this one to hold you in place, keeping your cheek pressed flush against the window as he fucks into you with no care.

He continues to use you like his personal fleshlight as he grunts behind you, legs shaking from his oncoming release. The same release that is left deep in your walls, swimming around before dripping out onto your abused folds.

You both moan in unison as you cum around him again, whining at the sharp thrusts that were meant to fuck his seed further into you.

He finally pulls out once your cunt is done milking him and he pulls out a phone from his jeans, snapping a quick photo with flash on before laughing to himself behind his mask.

While he’s occupied with his delusions, you decide it’s time to make your move. 

You push his chest lightly and watch as he collapses onto the couch, head tilted up at you in amusement while his arms settle on the back cushions.

“Yeah?” His voice is deep and breathy, it goes straight between your thighs and you almost moan at simply hearing him like that as well as the confident stance he’s taken. But you have a mission on your mind.

One that includes rushing to pick up the knife from the floor and not giving him a chance to respond before you’re straddling his thick thighs and pressing the knife to his throat.

His arms stay in place on the cushions and he huffs out a laugh in pure amusement, waiting patiently for you to make your next move.

What he didn’t expect was the grinding of your now leaking cunt on his now hardening cock. He moans lowly at the feeling and goes to rest a hand on your hip, only to be met with your hand slapping it away and the other digging the knife into the skin of his neck. Karma.

“I won your game fair and square. So let’s play my game.” Your hand reaches up under the mask and tears it off his face. 

He’s not sure why a potential survivor seeing his face doesn’t worry him. But when his tip catches onto your clit and you hold the knife steady against his neck, he thinks he’s just fallen in love.

Taglists: (red=can't be tagged)

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess

@dreamingaboutjisung @everythingboutkpop @velvetmoonlght

[appleblueberry-pie]

I just read through all your 42 Miles posts and I am going to explode. I swear, I’m so obsessed he looks shy in comparison. On that note, what if the reader finds out about his yandere behavior…and is perfectly fine with it. Maybe they even encourage it, giggling like a schoolgirl when they catch him following them home and giving him extra kisses when he tells them how he killed the guy who flirted with them. Definitely not just describing myself here-

I LIKE IT. JUST A LITTLE BIT<3

Miles gets greedy when it comes to you. He shouldn't, but he just hates sharing. So, using the tools he has, he gets rid of all possible competition. It's dangerous, it's reckless, and it's not smart to do, but you make him do stupid, dangerous and reckless things. Can you blame him? You're everything he's ever asked for in a girl.

So sweet to him, giving him all of your attention whenever you can. Texting him often, reciprocating his energy and letting him give the love and energy he feels you deserve. And you deserve every drop of his energy.

But sometimes, he takes it too far. He's been mean-mugging everyone lately. His friends don't like him as much because they say he's been paranoid over 'some random bitch he be talkin to'. And he doesn't let things like talking behind his back, or yours, be taken lightly. Which is why they don't talk to him the next day, or the day after that.

And it's also why people don't talk to you anymore either. Or any of your male friends. Or your girl friends.....he drove them all away. Every time someone sees you, he's not too far behind. And you don't do a damn thing about it. Which causes rumors to spread, but they die as quickly as they fire up. Because he always finds the source before shit goes south. Still, you don't do a damn thing about it.

You don't necessarily encourage him to do it, but he always gets the same amount of love from you whether he gives hell to everyone else or not. So, he keeps doing it. If he wants all of you, he's going to have all of you.

If someone asks about you in a crooked tone, he gets iffy about it, and now they scared. If someone mentions your name, their feeling that sharp stare on the back of their neck, telling them to let their tongue slip one more time. Everyone's getting the hint and he'll make sure of it.

You always smile looking back at him when he follows you in the hallways or when he's following you home.

You let him give you overly-obsessive notes in your locker. You let him like all of your stories, all of your posts. You let him stalk every single one of your socials and even the ones no one is supposed to know abut. You let him blow up your phone.

When he finally has the courage to talk to your face, you two have been by each other's side like glue. You let him whisper in your ear when he doesn't want a damn soul to hear what you guys are talking about. You let him buy you lunch every day. He always holds your hand tight as shit when walking you to class. He can be a little late. He does almost everything for you. He's real good at helping you with homework(and getting rid of niggas that bother you), and it makes your stress load so much lighter.

He's such good boyfriend material.

[stilljuststardust]

I fear I'm not practicing the LOA "right" and i'm so anxious. I keep thinking "what if all my persistence is useless because i'm not practicing the LOA right?" I can't tell if I'm truly partaking in imagination or just simply daydreaming. My understanding of the concept of "daydreaming" and "imagination" seems to have no clear distinct difference. Maybe I'm spiralling, but I feel like a fraud and can't seem to have faith in my own abilities. I continue to doubt everything because I wonder "does not feeling fulfilled in imagination mean my 4D has not shifted because I don't understand I have it?"

Is it okay to not feel anything or even feel bad towards your desires but still understand you have it and actually shift realities?

Take a deep breath.

You are going to be ok. There is nothing wrong with you. You are safe. You are stronger than you think. I believe in you. Not feeling anything is OK.

I have a laptop I manifested sitting next to me right now. I didn't feel anything when I was manifesting it and I don't feel like I have it even though it's physically here right now.

Please don't be so mean to yourself. You're going to be ok

Disclaimer: This may be controversial because people have really been shitting on affirmations lately, so let me first say that all methods work. This is just my personal experience. I understand that some of you will disagree with this post, that's OK. Please respect that everyone has their own beliefs.

Emotions don't matter

I normally put links at the end but you should really read this: it's ok to feel like shit

I know you're very stressed out, I am also a very anxious person. Please know that hurting deeply doesn't mean you can't manifest.

Feeling is not what manifests. For a long time I ran in circles because I was trying to force my emotions to conform.

I am a very anxious person sometimes bordering on paranoid. If my reality was solely dependent on what I felt like was happening a girl with long hair would be crawling out of my TV right now.

The truth is emotions are fickle. Trying to force an extremely positive emotional state will most likely just make you hurt more.

Often the most painful part of suffering is our constant attempt to suppress it instead of processing the emotion.

We are not our feelings. We are often subject to dramatic and irrational emotional states that don't reflect our actual thoughts and opinions.

"I feel awful and I don't like how often I'm feeling it" often leads us into thinking "nothing is ever going to work for me", but it's important to ground ourselves and realize that feeling like shit is not divine undeniable proof that it isn't going to work.

So what does manifest?

Your dominant thoughts and mental state.

The thoughts you repeat over and over and over. Your subconscious listens to everything you tell it and it takes you at face value every single time. If you repeat something to your subconscious it will push that experience into your reality.

You ARE manifesting, just not what you want.

I'm guessing your most common thoughts right now sound something like this:

"why isn't it working" "what am I doing wrong" "why can't I get this right"

THAT is what is manifesting right now.

It's not about feeling like you have it, it's about thinking thoughts that imply you do.

So what's the whole deal with the 4D 3D thing? Those are just buzzwords that mean your internal and external world. Your internal world manifests. What part of your internal world is constant? Your thoughts. You may not be visualizing or mediating all day but you ARE thinking all day every single day. (visualization and mediation still do work, I'm not discrediting those methods. Your mental images are still thoughts)

What now? (What I think you should do)

I want you to try robotic affirmations. There is literally no way to do them wrong. They don't require feeling or belief. its ok if repeating them feels wrong.

This is all you have to do:

All of your thoughts and words are affirmations so don't affirm against your desire. I know these are often very very habitual. That's ok, you just need to break the habit. Flip the thought or start affirming.

Repeat thoughts that imply it has manifested. It's best if it's in your own words. What would you say if it his happened? Now repeat that sentence whenever possible. Whenever you are doing something that is boring like a chore or showering instead of letting your mind water repeat your affirmation.

Don't try to feel it or imagine it, just repeat the sentence. That's why they're called robotic. There's nothing else to do but repeat them. Hopefully this gives you less to worry about.

LINKSSSS:

How to break a thought pattern

Affirm and persist

Do I have to believe?

Robotic affirmations

Please please please watch this.

[niqhtlord01]

Interviews with the Mythical

Human Reporter: What do you mean you invented Christmas?

Vampire: I mean just that, we invented the entire thing up.

Human Reporter: But we have documents, records of-

Vampire: All fabricated during the 3rd century as you call it.

Human Reporter: But why would you do that?

Vampire: Long term plan to subvert the day Christ was born.

Vampire: We gathered and felt that if we could slowly subvert the holiday with something less Christian we could dilute the faithful.

Vampire: Eventually we took a step back and you humans corporatized the holiday all by yourself to the point many associate it with our “Saint Nic” over that zombie boy Jesus.

Human Reporter: How would you say that has played out?

Vampire: I watched a woman throw a child like a football all to get the last Christmas day sale Toaster.

Vampire: It’s going swimmingly. ------------------------

Shape shifter: Oh yes I knew him.

Human Reporter: You knew Vincent Van Gogh?

Shape Shifter: This will be a short interview if you continue to question everything I say.

Human Reporter: I was just surprised since you look so young.

Shape Shifter: Such things as aging function differently for us.

Shape Shifter:  We appear old because we wish to feel the ravages of time.

Shaper Shifter: We appear young because we wish to bask in the depravities of youth.

Human Reporter: So are you immortal like vampires?

Shaper Shifter: *scoffs

Shape Shifter: I wish they would stop referring to themselves like that; the arrogant bastards.

Shaper Shifter: Vampires age slowly, but they age all the same; and I’ve yet to meet one that didn’t find a stake through the heart a grievous inconvenience.

Human Reporter: You are dodging the question.

Shape Shifter: Because I don’t have an answer.

Shape Shifter: The only way I imagine I can die is if I change into something dead, but I have no idea what that feels like so in the back of my mind there will always be a part of me alive meaning I am never really dead.

Human Reporter: Sounds like a maddening state.

Shape Shifter: Gogh said the same thing before he asked to paint me in my natural state.

Human Reporter: Really? What was it like being in one of his paintings?

Shape Shifter: Let’s just say he wasn’t always paranoid. ---------------------------

Human Reporter: So you take being a wolf seriously.

Werewolf: So?

Human Reporter: I mean, really seriously.

Werewolf: What kind of stupid question is that?

Werewolf: You take being human pretty seriously for being a human.

Human Reporter: But that’s just it, you are half wolf and half human; but your more animalistic side seems to take more precedent.

Werewolf: *Snarls

Human Reporter: I mean from what we do know you still form packs and groups with other werewolves even when in human form, you organize yourself like a pack being led by an alpha, etc.

Werewolf: I see what you’re getting at.

Werewolf: The animal tendencies are more…overpowering than human ones.

Human Reporter: Aren’t they the same?

Werewolf: No, they’re not.

Human Reporter: Could you elaborate?

Werewolf: Do you want to leave with your head?

Human Reporter: Yes.

Werewolf: Than this interview is over. ----------------

 Human Reporter: Do you have a moment for an interview?

Sphinx: Only if you answer my riddle.

Sphinx: What walks on-

Human Reporter: The answer is man.

Sphinx: ……

Sphinx: I haven’t even finished.

Human Reporter: I mean…..it’s not exactly a secret riddle.

Sphinx: But how can you possibly know it?

Human Reporter: Oedipus recorded the answer after he solved it.

Sphinx: *Defeated sigh

Sphinx: I knew I should have just killed that little man.

Sphinx: What else did he write?

Human Reporter: That after he solved the riddle you were so distraught you flung yourself into the sea to commit suicide.

Sphinx: That lying sack of shit! --------------------

Human Reporter: So does your pumpkin rot and you need to collect new ones or is it just eternally ripe?

Headless Horseman: Through the pumpkin That is what you are opening with?

Human Reporter: Well I just wonder how that thing could be still fresh after almost 300 years.

Headless Horseman: *Tilts neck down to show severed neck muscles and spine

Headless Horseman: None of this is freaking you out?

Human Reporter: If I’m being truthful I did interview a zombie before meeting you and they also were missing a substantial amount of flesh.

Headless Horseman: Did you just fucking compare me to a zombie!?!

Human Report: You technically are undead in a sense.

Headless Horseman: They made a bloody movie about me! It had Johnny Depp and I was played by Christopher Walken!

Headless Horseman: They made a tv show about me!

Human Reporter: With respect they’ve made more shows about zombies.

Headless Horseman: *Storms off and kicks over a stack of boxes while swearing in german ----------------

Human Reporter: Thank you for your time.

Leprechaun:  Pay my fee, lest I shall flee.

Human Reporter: *Reaches into pocket and tosses three gold coins.

Leprechaun: *Catches coins, takes a bite on each, then pockets them.

Human Reporter: You’re the only creature I’ve met that’s actually charged for an interview.

Leprechaun: Fools and half-wits waste fortunes with words said free, but I’m neither lest I’m paid handsomely.

Human Reporter:  Bit of a rhyming theme going on I see; very poetic.

Leprechaun: Words and songs are my crafts by trade, but none still finer than my cobbler days.

Human Reporter: What makes Leprechaun gold more special than normal gold?

Leprechaun: A simple question gets a simple answer.

Leprechaun: No gold is finer than the ones I gather.

Leprechaun: Through trade and trick I make my wealth, and by deceit and death I keep it still.

Human Reporter: You’re saying you’ve had to kill to protect your gold?

Leprechaun: The penance is clear, there’s no debate.

Leprechaun: You take my gold, I take your life. ------------

Human Reporter: What is it like to be the neck tie for a god?

Nag Vasuki: You would mock an immortal being?

Human Reporter: Do you not coil yourself around the neck of the literal god of destruction?

Nag Vasuki: I do.

Human Report: Then that makes you a neck tie.

Nag Vasuki: *Lunges across table and bites reporter in the neck, delivering a lethal amount of poison before storming off to get a bagel. ---------------

Human Reporter: Why do you eat children?

Baba Yaga: Why does a raging river drown those lost within its grasp?

Human Reporter: Because a river is part of nature.

Baba Yaga: As am I.

Baba Yaga: There is nothing more unforgiving and unrelenting than that of nature, and in their youthful bliss many young find themselves lost within its tangled woods of thorn and wood.

Baba Yaga: I, like nature, stand at the gates of great change that children must face; be it for great joy or misery.

Human Reporter: Are you saying you eat children because they refused to adapt?

Baba Yaga: *chuckles

Baba Yaga: Only the unlucky ones. -------------------

Human Reporter: in hazmat suit Thank you for the interview.

Nuckelavee: Through the hanging mouth of a horse and its rider man Save your false gratitude.

Nuckelavee: I seek neither your accolades nor your ponderous questioning.

Human Reporter: Then why did you come at all?

Nuckelavee: For all of humanity to know that their end will soon be at hand, and it will be by my machinations shall you fall.

Human Reporter: Forgive me but you remind me of the four horseman.

Nuckelavee:  *laughs

Nuckelavee:  Ah yes, the fear of the southerners was so rich when they first laid eyes on me.

Nuckelavee: They had come to preach the word of their god, so it was only fitting I made them scream out to their savior as I peeled the flesh from their bones. The look of abandonment they gave was so amusing I allowed the last of them passage back to their stone temples.

Nuckelavee: So wrought with horror they were that when they scampered back their minds could not conceive such malevolence as a singular being.

Human Reporter: So you are claiming to be the inspiration for the four horsemen?

Nuckelavee: There can be no other.

Human Reporter: If that was the case are you not upset you were depicted as such?

Nuckelavee: In the end I shall feast on you all; what mind have I to care for such trivialities?

[hellonerf]

this post is going to be my depository for the caname yandere notes i wrote a while ago and im finally posting. below this line is it. if you want you can just ignore the walls of text for this image of ame as miyuki from you and me and her or read through it for my yandere caname braindead details

straightforwardly, they'd be different in approach. dumb in their own ways 🤤 loosely using yandere here okay i know the meaning has changed a lot okay(snoreee)

for a yandere cana, in context to caname. a mumbling withdrawn yandere… just a general big fan of how it can come off as shyness. well i personally love a really messy sadled-by-internal-conflict kind of yandere… i think there’d be a weird type of shame there. always has the feeling that he’s afraid to be perceived. a weird overlap… with his ame-related frustrations “he won’t even look at me… (seethe)” and “ohhhmygod he CAN’T look at me (shaking)”. like he feels in the right but feels afraid simultaneously. and he knows so much about ame but ame doesn’t reciprocate such effort? unfair…(grits teeth).

he can confidently say he knows everything about ame, and then mumble about how ame barely knows anything about him. i want to him to rage internally about that that it bubbles up (>_>) entitlement and yandereness kind of go together anyways. she’s glaring at her with such intensity and she won’t even turn around to notice… can't she at least have this... she rarely gets anything for herself... at least this... i like any case of someone being yandere for ame where they take on a kind of caretaker role. he’s so stupid he can’t do anything he doesn’t know what’s good for him etc… (happy)(happy anytime ame loses control in some way)(ties him to cana like a balloon). loveee the idea of cana hitting him or something and then doting on him right afterwards like he didn’t cause it. HOW’d you get such an INJURY…… so irresponsible 🤦‍♂️

another thing is cana is more comfortable with femininity than ame. this is factual and ame i’d imagine to be tenser about it. i don’t know what this means guys. anyways i think his feelings build up into a climax more... turned into action! whatever it is he does to ame

a yandere ame is harder for me to put into words. because i okay. i like her a lot. i think he’d be so rage jealous upset internally, but also so much so that he can’t keep it in (i don’t think his control on how much of his emotions leak out is very good, i don’t think he has a good enough lid on it) so he’ll come off very spiteful, controlling, accusatory. she’s keeping track of where you go where she can’t see you. she doesn’t believe what she can’t see. ame’s high and fragile ego i think… deep down he can be insecure and paranoid. it’s frustrating for him to feel unsure at all. especially if it contradicts what he believes he heard. and it’s an insult that someones even making him feel so unsure. she’s like stomping her foot… wants her full attention at all times… she won’t and can’t let you get away with fooling around.

in a caname nationverse… i think there’d then already be a lot of interactions ame would consider “the ultimate betrayal” lol… similar in cana that he’d want reciprocation for the attention given, but i think he’d be 10x more blatant in the rage and entitlement. it'd cause more lashing out to the perceived betrayal i think. he's stuck between wanting affection and being so mad that he's not getting it already. demanding of cana's time loyalty and reciprocation... yandere that seethes that the one they love isn't as crazy about them lol... paired with all this… complexes about doing things “right”. communicating “right”. i think ame doesn’t really have a natural intuition in communication, relying on imitating social customs while not understanding them fully. so it'd be even more upsetting to him that he's "done it right" and he still doesn't get what he wants.

and also with that i think he’d be lacking in self awareness so hard… gets into antics… thennn i think he's more explosive in this, feels a white hot jealous rage and acts based on that, but its easy to forget outside of those moments.

in these descriptions i think cana's works prior to dating... if dating ever starts at all lol i think he thinks of it less like a romance endeavor and more like a... well he's already always right next to him! its been building up for forever... for ame's i think these only really get prominent with something "established". he already demands your time but if cana like specifically promised something, or he had some epiphany, that'd cause all these wants to be much more visible. i feel like he tends to need a catalyst for some feelings to come to the forefront

the switching pronouns is cause saying all this im imagining them yandere girl-like no matter what because i have personal feud with male yandere

[baelabong]

ʜᴏᴡ ʟᴏɴɢ

(ʏᴜɴᴊɪɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ) ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ

plot: yunjins been cheating. but she didn’t mean it … right?

notes: toxic yunjin, dumbass y/n again, istg guys the only things that gain attention iz my karina and winter fics 💔💔

you sit on the couch, your phone clutched in your hand, staring at the screen, waiting for yunjin's name to pop up. it doesn’t. hours pass, and the ticking of the clock feels like a taunt. where is she? you tell yourself it’s nothing—she’s probably stuck at practice or maybe went out with the girls, but that nagging feeling in your chest grows heavier. it’s been too long.

finally, you hear the door creak open. she stumbles in, not her usual put-together self. she looks messy, worn-out. the smell of alcohol hits you before she even speaks. when she does, her voice is low, slurred.

"hey, baby," she tries to smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. her gaze is distant, foggy, like she's not really here with you.

"where have you been?" you ask, trying to sound casual, but the hours of waiting twist your voice with anxiety. you hate sounding paranoid, but you can't help it anymore.

"just out with the girls. practice ran late… then drinks," she mumbles, her words stumbling out, as if she’s trying to get past them quickly.

you get up, moving closer, searching her face for something, anything, that makes sense. but her eyes—they’re empty, evasive. "why didn’t you answer my calls?"

"didn’t hear it," she shrugs, still avoiding your gaze. "too loud, i guess."

it's weak. her excuses always are. and it's not just the excuse, it's the way she says it—like she doesn’t care enough to make it believable. your stomach twists, a cold knot forming. there’s more to this, you can feel it.

"yunjin, what’s going on?" you ask, your voice wavering despite your effort to stay calm. you’ve been through this too many times to ignore the signs.

she sighs, running a hand through her hair. for a second, her tough front slips, and she looks at you, really looks at you. "i... i messed up."

your heart stops. "what do you mean?"

"i was drunk, and... i kissed someone else."

her words are like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath out of you. you take a step back, needing space to think, but your mind is spinning. "you kissed someone?"

"it didn’t mean anything," she rushes, stepping toward you, but you back away again. "it was just a stupid, drunken mistake. i swear, it only happened once."

the room feels too small now, the walls closing in. you trusted her. after everything, you trusted her, and she... "how long has this been going on?"

"what? no, i told you, it was just once—"

"how long, yunjin?" your voice is louder now, anger bubbling up. you don't want to be the fool who believed her lies for too long.

she hesitates, her eyes darting away for a moment before coming back to you. "just once," she insists, but the doubt in her eyes says otherwise. "i was drunk. it meant nothing."

you want to believe her. god, you want to believe her so badly. but the way she's been acting lately—distant, secretive—there’s more to this.

"i deserve the truth," you say, your voice shaky but firm. you’re done playing this game.

she steps closer, softening her expression like she’s trying to lure you back in. "baby, you’re overthinking this," she coos, her voice sickly sweet, the kind that used to comfort you but now just makes you feel uneasy. "it was a mistake. everyone makes mistakes."

"but you didn’t tell me," you push back, feeling a flicker of anger spark in your chest. "you hid it from me."

"because i knew you’d overreact," she snaps, her patience thinning. "you always do this. you always assume the worst."

her words sting, making you question yourself. am i overreacting? was it just a one-time mistake? you’ve been second-guessing yourself so much lately, it’s hard to tell anymore.

yunjin’s close now, her eyes locked on yours, her voice dropping lower, more intimate. "you know i love you, right?"

"yeah, but—"

she cuts you off, cupping your face in her hands. "i love you," she whispers, her thumb brushing over your cheek, her touch soft but with an underlying tension. "you’re the one i come home to. don’t let something this small ruin us."

her words start to blur the lines in your mind. maybe it’s not as big of a deal as it feels. maybe you are overthinking. she’s here, isn’t she? but then, the memory of all those nights alone, waiting, wondering—those doubts flare up again.

"yunjin, i can’t just forget this," you murmur, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on you. "you hurt me."

for a moment, her eyes harden, just for a second, before she puts on a sad, almost pitying smile. "i know, and i’m sorry," she says, but her voice feels insincere, dripping with mockery. "but you need to stop being so paranoid. it was one kiss. do you really think i’d throw everything away for that?"

your mouth opens to respond, but she silences you, pressing a finger to your lips. "shh, don’t ruin this," she whispers, stepping even closer, her body pressing against yours. "we’re good together. you know that."

her other hand trails down your arm, sending shivers through your skin. you should push her away. you should be angry, but instead, her closeness overwhelms you, clouding your thoughts.

"just let it go," she murmurs before pulling you into a kiss, one that’s not soft or reassuring. it’s possessive, controlling, like she’s forcing you to forget everything else.

and somehow, it works. the fight drains out of you as her lips move against yours, your mind going blank. you forget the pain, the doubt, the questions. it’s just her now, her hands on you, her breath mixing with yours, until all you can feel is her.

when she pulls back, you're breathless, but not from the argument—from the way she’s made everything else disappear.

"see?" she whispers, her lips brushing your ear. "it’s just you and me, baby. nothing else matters."

you nod, your mind too hazy to argue anymore. "just us."

[s0lemnhypn0s]

(Warning for this post I'm half asleep so I might be incoherent or have disjointed topics. Bare with me, I'm trying to express my thoughts the best I can.)

(and WARNING! i discuss personal paranoias at one point during this, which include the topic of bugs and self harm)

"Billford is ironic we're shipping them ironically" "We don't actually want to see them together" "We don't think theyre a good pair" "its irreconciliably abusive" "its one sided"

ok I'm gonna put forward a take that might be poorly recieved: I think you all are misunderstanding Billford (And each character individually) and just reducing it to "bill abused ford" takes away so much of what makes their dynamic fascinating. And also claiming "Erm its a bit" while engaging in something you "recognize" as abuse only does a disservice to the topic of abuse and how it relates to the mentally ill (I will get into that later). You are treating the relationship as a joke and only acknowledging the abusive aspects when people come at you is just pretty scummy of you. Speaking as someone who experienced a near identical abusive relationship, where my paranoia was preyed upon, causing me to still suffer from the paranoia of being watched by them or that my abuser will eventually send someone after me.

In general, the existence of abuse is a complicated one and abuse is not a catch all, end all term. Not all abuse is built the same. Billford is undeniably abusive, but there is not a period after "abusive", are you picking up what I'm putting down. It's not just "Bill was exerting power over Ford and thats it"

Lets start with: We all recognize Ford is paranoid, but we don't seem to recognize Bill as paranoid in the exact same way, dare I say - Even more paranoid than Ford. I mean, ford got his "Trust no one" quote from Bill directly saying his rule of thumb for trusting people is to just trust no one. He doesn't trust others - He simply doesn't. And this is part of where Bill Cipher's manipulation of SPECIFICALLY Ford comes in.

Now I am going to speak from a personal anecdote of my experience with paranoia and delusions - Me, I will try to "safeguard" against my every little fear and belief that something will, undoubtedly, undeniably, be out to hurt me, and these safeguards are often extreme in nature. They don't make sense to the people around me, but they make sense to me. Sometimes they hurt the people around me. Sometimes, they hurt me. I believe this is the same with Bill Cipher himself. He is taking measures to make sure his worst fears do not come to pass. And because Bill is decidedly not human, only interacts with humans when he deems neccesary, those measures often take the form of something even more extreme than, idk, me shaving my head because I thought bug eggs were in my hair or trying to cut open my skin because I thought something was living in it. They take the form of something abusive (Which is also just... Something that happens with the mentally ill sometimes. I see you guys trying to separate our mental illness from our actions and claim "thats not making you do that". I see you.). Him trying to guard himself from something so terrible(facetious) as Ford's percieved betrayal ultimately becomes a self fufilling prophecy.

Not to mention, if you guys didn't notice. Bill without a doubt projects his own insecurities onto Ford. "I make you feel important" Ford makes Bill feel important. "No one loves you" He was ostracized in his dimension. "Who will miss you" He destroyed his entire home, nobody would mourn Bill, because they were all gone, long gone. "I'm sending someone to steal your eyes" Might be a stretch, but I look towards the silly straw poem "A different kind of eye doctor, who wants to make his patient blind" Obviously the use of "blind" here is metaphorical, but I feel its still in some ways applicable.

Bill very evidently experienced medical abuse and ostracization in Euclydia, something exceedingly common for those labeled as mad. (Which also brings me to the topic of people saying "I'm so glad they didn't make Bill a sympathetic villain in the book of bill" bc. Hi. I'm a guy thats experienced ostracization and medical staff forcibly medicating me in order to fix me. I think he is sympathetic actually). Not only that, Bill Cipher had a trillion years to fester in his resentment and his guilt, and you think that like. Didn't effect him at all. I really and truly beg to disagree.

Not only that: I think Bill felt a kinship with Ford. Ford was ostracized, he was betrayed by the world (and "betrayed" by his brother), he was regarded as a freak for what he was born with, just as Bill was regarded as a freak for his mutation in Euclydia. Bill thought Ford was just like him. Bill thought Ford would understand him, and furthermore would jump at the opportunity to burn the world down with him. And. to his credit. Ford does, in some capacity, understand him. As much as Ford could understand, with Bills lies within lies. Bill craves the intimacy and fears the touch. He uses fear to get Ford to love him, not only because he thinks it will safeguard him from what he fears most, but likely because it is all he knows, all he was taught. Love through fear. Our love is painful, but we only want to help. Pain in love is natural. It's right. It will only hurt a little. This is how you know we love you. He was shocked when Ford rejected him. He thought he did everything right. He had everything planned, for them to be together for eternity.

And bare in mind also that - Bill. Most evidently. Views himself as a monster. When Ford asks about what happened to his dimension, who destroyed it - Bill responds "A monster.", he says "Sixer, it would eat you alive" when Ford offers to help hunt it down. He lets his mask of jovial, mysterious mischief drop just slightly, and we understand just a little bit more of how he feels about the euclidean massacre, how he understands himself through his actions. And what he understands, is that this is just his nature. "I liberated my dimension, Stanford", a lie but not in the way you'd think. He lies, acting like what he did was intentional, as its the only way he could ascribe "reason" to what he did. It couldn't have been an accident. That is just how I am. It wasn't an accident, and I liberated them. (I wish I could go back.) And I come back to the idea of a self fufilling prophecy, because its again- That exactly. Bill decided this was all he could be, he did everything that would make him a "monster" after the accident that caused the euclidean massacre - And so, he was. A sick prognosis that he created and fufilled with his own two hands, he became the monster he and his home dimension envisioned him as.

Abuse is a complicated subject. What Bill did was abuse, yes, but I also distinctly believe it to be a case of abuse between two mentally ill people, one of which is so old, his hate his anger and his regrets, all are ancient and yet so fresh.

I feel another part of the problem is people are taking Bill at face value. Which is exactly what he wants to do because then you dont get at what hes doing all this for and why. You don't get past the exoskeleton to the tender flesh beneath. But stop taking what he says at face value. Read into it more. Analyze the triangle.

Also it might be controversial (hyperbole.) , but I do thing it means /something/ that during Ford's part of the book of bill, where Bill and Ford's relationship is recounted from his perspective, Bill is notably absent, whereas in the rest of the book, he is guiding us through it and constantly maintains a loud presence in it. You could interpret this in a lot of different ways I think, but the way I've chosen to interpret it is as a mix of shame, regret, and an unwillingness to revisit their past together. Perhaps even Bill having enough respect for Ford to not interject his telling of their story together, if you want to get real complicated about it. Paradoxal, if you will.

(Also I find the theraprism to be a most fucked "end" for Bill Cipher due to the medical abuse he experienced as a child. Something something, mad people can never escape the institutions which seek to "fix" them.)

anyway if you read through my mad sleep addled ramblings CONGRATS! i'm probably going to make edits and add to this when I wake up in the morning but i needed to get this out or id forget. billford is abusive but its way more complex than just... abuse. Abuse is a complex subject and it exists on a spectrum, for a lack of better words. and dont twist my words - That isn't saying "this is less bad abuse", this is saying "its complicated and just leaving it at abusive does their relationship a disservice"

[deaddovedecadence]

Title: Puppies

Warning(s): manipulation, yandere shit, yelling

Summery: after a fight with bruce, duke brings you a gift (but not is all that is seems to be)

Bruce is a dick when he’s angry, but he never yells and that’s the worst part. He takes, takes everything that you are and makes you feel so small, and sometimes you think that this is what Jason run, because if he had to deal with this when he was young then why wouldn’t he.

You’ve curled up in your bathroom, the room door that locks, and you’ve rested yourself against it, not thinking about how you’re breaking another rules because there are so many rules and you always seem to fuck up even on the days that you're trying to be good. There is not good enough for them, there is nothing you can do to get your freedom because they are all faster, stronger, smarter then you are. They've done a millions times and you've never been held hostage and been told that it's for love.

this is nopt love, this is possession and you do not want possession. Does freedom even exist for you, made something that you didn't used to be by them, because of them.

"Hey," there's a voice from outside the door, pulling you away from the spiral that you've sunken into. You don't respond to the voice even though you know that it's just Duke, Duke the only person not to raise his hands againt you, never cruel, always patient, always kind. It was with him that you meant to go on a outing with but now, you don't want to leave this bathroom, because at least it is safe in the bathroom.

There's a soft rapping sound and Duke sighs, "I heard that Bruce lost his mind, huh? That probably really sucked." He's making an understatement and you both know it but Duke is gentle anyways, (a predator) coaxing you out of your hiding spot. "Tell me what happened and I'll give you a surprise." he says, and Duke's surprises are always good so you start.

"I didn't know that bruce didn't know about our outing," you whisper, "i was waiting on the front step and he saw and he lost it. Duke, am I really nothing without you?" There's a hissed out sigh from Duke, "You know that Bruce gets anxious about us, right? Specially you an Jase cause you're new and Jase is fresh home. He didn't mean to." You know that and yet, it's not enough right now. "I told you what happened," you snap, "so give me my surprise now."

Your (not a) brother laughs, "only if you unlock the door and come out.” You unlock the door, slowly opening it. It’s duke and he’s holding something, well two something’s actually. He’s holding what look like twin Rottie puppies and they’re so cute. “I thought you’d like to have someone besides me and Jase. You take one of them and coo and it. “Whats their name?” You mumble, holding the puppy tight across your chest. “I thought it might be funny to name them Shadow and sunshine. I’d take shadow, she’s a girl, and you could have sunshine, he’s a boy .” You croon and Sunshine with his black fur and bright blue eyes. “They’re perfect. thank you duke.”

Duke smiles, “and because they are puppies, we get to go to training together so more outings.” You grin at him, crooning at the say that sunshine yawns. “Can he sleep here?” You murmur, and Duke nods.

“Thank you Duke,”

“Welcome Sunshine.”

-

Bruce is getting some work done with his son storms into his office, eyes glowing in way that they only do when he’s angry. “What’s wrong?” he says, and Duke hisses, that sound more animal then anything a normal human could make.

“You really had to fuck up all my progress with them? I got sunshine to the point of not wanting to escape and you nearly ruined all that because you’re scared.” Bruce stands, staring at duke. “I did not know,” he snaps, “I did not know and I didn’t mean to.”

His son laughs, the sound cold. “I know that but that doesn’t mean you ruin all my fuckin progress with Sushine cause you a paranoid motherfucker.” Some of Duke’s gotham is slipping into his accent as he speaks, never yelling but obvious furious. There’s a knock on the door, and Dick slips in, looking at the two of them before sighing, “just go spar it out and you’ll feel better.” Duke slips out of the room, tiling his head in a way that means follow so bruce follows.

Author’s note: Duke is such a scary yandere to me bc this man really be bending you in ways that you can’t even notice. Yes the dog was a plot to get you to stay with them and not run. Duke genuinely does not care what he has to do to protect his family and I think that he’s so real for that /j

[coffeegnomee]

Writing this because I don’t see anyone analyzing the Kab lore and I’m genuinely intrigued as to how people are viewing it.

It’s just such an interesting and all over the place story atm. I have a huge amount of faith that she will make an amazing story by the end of the season. I’m willing to let her cook. She has to get practice in this somehow.

But also she’s just so all over the place. And not really embracing the depth of mcrp, but that's a different story.

This started from having a hard time drawing the line between lore and not lore because I refuse to just say “Kab in the box was lore and everything else is not” even though I’m pretty sure that is like exactly how she views it. 

Because the moment Red killed her she went to chat and said something like “chat it only took me three weeks to get lore on the server!” Like girl it’s been lore. All of it is lore. 

And then the box arc was just like, enter the box angry at Red because he’s forcing you to hide, go through your friends and realize you care about them, go through the rest of the team and remember you f-ing hate all of them, including the friends at the start. Leave the box angry at Red, using pacifism as a cover to get close to Woogie to destroy Red. 

Like am I crazy to say that she didn’t change in the slightest because of the box and you could take that whole arc away and nothing would be different? 

But what IS interesting about that is how she never got over Red killing her. Never. I think she hoped that the box would soothe her out of that hate and come to a different conclusion, but by the end the (almost too real) rage about him killing her, especially after she made him that armor, pervades to this day. 

Now THAT’S lifesteal, holding the hurt until it has a real resolution, not trying to get yourself over it quicker. As Red said last season “we make our best content when we actually hate each other” (not a direct quote, Zam said it) and as uncomfortable as that is to blend real hate into the ability to tell a story, there is real truth to that, that unless you, You the Writer, actually Care about the stakes of the story, you’re not going to write a good story. And nothing makes you care more than actually caring.

But Kab puts up these walls around herself to delineate character vs streamer. She is, to her credit, quite good at being in character, to the point where when she drops the character it is so jarring to be told none of it is real, this is just lore. It’s wildly jarring. And makes it quite difficult to find her character to be endearing? At least for me. Because she consistently does little things to break the fourth wall like clearly having left the box to get materials. Girl PLEASE why did you not just include getting materials and being paranoid about being caught as a PART of that story?? Sigh. 

So she, in her mind, has a very clear distinction for what is her character. And a distinction for what she herself is willing to do. And that separation makes basically everything she says “in character” a lie; like she can say what she wants, be dramatic and make a cool tragic character, but that will not have a real meaning on who she is as a character on Lifesteal as a whole.

And what I find fascinating is that despite that, she is a mirror to whoever is in front of her. She absolutely becomes whatever the person in front of her is. 

She comes out of the box saying she will use pacifism to get to Woogie. But then Flame blows up spawn and she feels bad, so she talks to Zam and within 5 seconds you can tell she’s fully dedicated to that task. She fully embraces being pacifist. Because Zam is pacifist. 

But then Zam leaves to practice MCCR and next thing you know she’s talking to Wemmbu and within 5 seconds he convinces her to kill Planet publicly and with everyone online, breaking her away from pacifism. 

This also despite the fact that Wemmbu is Shit at instigating people like Zam and Pangi. He tried SO HARD to get them to kill him or change their views. But one devil on the shoulder to Flame got him to blow up spawn and one second with Kab got her to cave and kill Planet (TWICE! And get Mid’s heart!). SOOOO interesting how his approach works so wildly differently on new members vs old. 

So she mirrors whoever is around her. What a fascinating character trait out of the master manipulator. Is it manipulation? Or does she really fully and truly emotionally believe what she says in those moments? Does she come back with manipulation ideas after to fit whatever impulse she had in the moment? 

And then there’s the Mapicc castle. I 100% believe she was the one to blow it up. Maybe I’m just projecting. Maybe it was wemmbu during the window he had his pc and when he didn’t. Maybe it was someone else.

But she just declared herself evil. It’s only natural to try and instigate chaos and get the members blaming each other for things that you did. 

But she was SO GOOD during that conversation. Brainstorming and giving ideas for who else it could be, pinning the wemmbu heads on Mid but also pulling back and saying it couldn’t be her for the explosions, trying to work out the timeline. Like in so many ways she sounded like Spoke making up a story and being Unhelpful(TM). And she went out of her way to drive to her office just to have this conversation.

But also she seemed so helpful, so genuinely trying to brainstorm and pick apart this juicy puzzle in front of her. And therefore just curious, not manipulative. 

GAH I just can’t decide! She’s either completely brilliant or completely incompetent and succeeding by accident!

And it’s even more interesting given the thought that she came into Lifesteal riding the high of MoneySMP and how she pulled off a betrayal arc super well. But that was Kab vs rando content creators in the mcyt space. 

Now she’s Kab vs the very people who defined betrayal in mcyt. Everyone on lifesteal shares her ability to lie and manipulate. The thing that once made her unique is the very fabric of the server she is on. She thinks she’s got a leg up on everyone, but she’s merely on the same playing field. And that’s so dang interesting. Because she still doesn’t consider herself to merely be on the same playing field. She still thinks she’s better at this than anyone else. 

She said during the stream where Mane destroyed the Mice base (7/23/24) that she likes playing cocky characters because it makes the fall all the greater. But she just IS that cocky at times. Every time she’s jumped she’s giggly and cocky about being slick and avoiding being killed again because she sits on the respawn screen. 

So she’s cocky and willing to cause chaos, but she’s not the progenitor of chaos. She is not a worldender. She only causes chaos when someone nudges her towards it, not out of an internal desire to be chaotic and an understanding of the need for chaos on lifesteal.

And perhaps it’s because deep down, she cares about the people on the server. Not in the way Zam cares where he feels awful about everything he does that is evil and repents and has remorse over his actions. 

But she is affected by her caring. One of the most interesting moment of Kab lore was when she saw the photo of Mane standing in the blown up Mice base. 

KAB: “wow […] I knew he would blow it up, but like seeing the image is still like, fuck”

CLOWN: “really?” 

KAB: “THIS HASN’T HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE” 

CLOWN: “hasn't it happened to you like twice?” 

KAB: “he didn’t blow it up last time [...] I think, I think I have to leave. I think I should leave. I’m putting like hannah and red and leo at risk right now” 

It’s an involuntary reaction, something that is intrinsic to her core. She immediately went to: I should stop being on this team so I can save Hannah and Leo. I don’t want to see them get hurt. 

And this is before she knew Woogie was wanting to leave the Mice because he thought she was a threat!

This was before Red killed her! 

She came to this conclusion that she was dangerous to her friends outside of them agreeing with it. 

And she never brought this back up when she was in the box. She to this day thinks she did nothing intrinsically wrong (ie dangerous to others) by antagonizing Mane. At least as a character she refuses to accept this. But for a second there Kab Kaboodle came through and knew that to be an intrinsic fact. And then she didn’t expand on it. Missed opportunity tbh. 

And then I’ll end with an analysis of the Mane conversation after he blew up the base. Because it’s so interesting to see Kab banter in lore (though I suppose from her pov it wasn’t lore yet because this was before Red killed her) and see her say Way Too Much. She says she’s a master manipulator but girl you leak freaking everything. 

So, she says what she said above, then a few minutes later gets in vc with Mane.

MANE: “you didn’t think I had the guts.. To blow up the base of [unintelligible]” 

KAB: “[talking over him] you didn’t blow up the other one”

This whole conversation Kab interrupts Mane so much. She has to say things, to prove herself. Even when staying silent would give her so much more information.

MANE: “I’m gonna be honest, I was just looking for a reason” 

Every pvper on lifesteal ONLY acts evil when they have a reason. It’s so consistent. It’s never “just because”.

Kab says she put posters up of him bc she thought it was funny. 

 MANE: “yeeaa I find it funny too um. You said you're not scared which, I- I find pretty amusing” 

KAB: “ok!” 

MANE: “because you're obviously pretty scared” 

KAB: “you’re not scary. Dude. like your strength of the sword doesn’t fucking scare me dude. When you actually get smart and shit then then come talk to me” 

Super cocky. Super dismissive. Just looking for a power dynamic to make her regain control over the situation. That’s not manipulation that’s just a power grab.

MANE: “Ok. I’ll talk to you when I get smart I guess but I mean, I dunno, according to these dogs here you've been at, at the deepest level of the cave for for a while, almost like you’re hiding. [pause, Kab freezes and pulls up coords] am I right about that? That seems pretty scared to me. I dunno. But um” 

Mane absolutely cooks in this conversation but Kab just refuses to be affected by his lines and instead mocks him for being stereotypically tough guy. And yet she got scared there. She brought up her coords. 

KAB: “[scoff] alright buddy” 

MANE: “I dunno the way that you’re like, you're like interacting and the way that you’re like going about this is not the way that I would go about it personally”

KAB: “well, we’re very different people” 

MANE: “I mean. Okay. how do I rephrase this. The way that you’re going about this is not the way any other person has gone about this before” 

KAB: “thank you!” 

MANE: “it’s not a complement.” 

KAB: “I think it’s a complement. I appreciate that” 

MANE: “I’m calling you stupid.” 

KAB: “I try to be original” 

MANE: “you’re being stupid” 

KAB: “maybe in your eyes yea” 

MANE: “cause you’re gonna make a new base, I mean, you haven't even stopped to question how I found this one, which is quite interesting.” 

He’s calling her stupid for not asking more questions. Especially after she just called HIM the stupid one. He’s clearly smarter than he looks

KAB: “oh I know how you found it” 

MANE: “how did I find it” 

KAB: “my team already told me, I’m not telling you” 

Instead of fishing for more information, playing dumb, Kab instead goes for posturing that she is far smarter than him. She could’ve used this to make him think she’s stupid or to actually learn how he found the base so she can be safer in the future (later she tells chat the she has no idea how he found the base). And interesting move out of someone who wants to manipulate people. Usually you would want to play dumb, not play cocky.

MANE: “[scoff] you don’t know how I found that base” 

KAB: “okay! You can believe that” 

MANE: “yea, because if you did, there’s no secret to keep from me. Like the way I found the base myself”

KAB: “[interrupting] girl you know I don’t use that base right?” 

MANE: “okay. That’s your teammate’s base” 

KAB: “that’s fair. That is my teammate’s base. I more feel bad for them rather than me.” 

MANE: “yea. Yea. I feel bad for them too. It would suck to like, like, if I had a teammate, you know, especially considering like the fact that you, you- overall you’re team’s isn’t like the most skilled um if I was always suffering the consequences of my teammate’s actions who obviously doesn’t care about what they say” 

He’s using the info Woogie gave him to make her feel bad/see if she does feel bad AND SHE DOESN’T HIDE A SINGLE THING!

KAB: “girl if you’re trying to guilt me it’s not gonna work” 

MANE: “I’m not trying to guilt you, I I’m just saying like, if I was your teammate I- I would feel horrible, you know? You’re like” [.... devolves as mane is like if you want to loose teammates you can, and kab goes don’t mansplain to me (again, being cocky. refusing to be scared)] 

MANE: “even if you’re not scared, you’re putting your teammates in jeopardy, which you clearly already know, which is very interesting, very interesting trait for someone who cares about her team. So. I just wanted talk to you and get your consensus on the situation” 

He was fully going to stop the conversation there. But she just missed the cue and started to willingly gave him more information because her adhd ass thought that was a question not a statement /pos

KAB: “yea.. I’m I’m not overly fussed. It’s inconvenient. and that’s about it. It’s inconvenient” 

MANE: “for who?” 

KAB: “me” 

She’s revealing that her motivations on lifesteal revolve around herself. She cares more about herself than teammates in the long run. Like I said earlier, she intrinsically does care about people, but on lifesteal in particular she will first care about herself. 

MANE: “oooooh. See but you just said you care about your teammates and [unintelligible]”

KAB: “I do, but let’s be real two of them don’t log on very often and Leo’s been doing his own thing anyway. So” 

MANE: “oh. I guess you’re team’s already disbanded so” Mane brings back up how he just wanted to see what she thought about it. Again she just keeps talking.

KAB: “I think you’re being predictable and I think that’s helpful” 

MANE: “aw yea bro, glad I could help out”

[…more chatting] 

MANE: “If hiding doesn’t mean that you’re scared, I don’t know what hiding means” 

KAB: “I mean not everything has to have and emotional reaction” 

MANE: “I mean it’s not really an emotional reaction: if you’re hiding you’re scared of something” 

KAB: “scared is an emotion” 

MANE: “nah, fear is an emotion” DAMN SON. he really can just drop the dramatic bars bro. 

KAB: “fear is an emotion. I say being fearful and being scared is the same thing.” 

MANE: “if you weren’t fearful you wouldn’t be hiding” 

KAB: “that's not necessarily true” 

MANE: “how” 

KAB:” okay-” 

MANE: “hold on hold on hold on. [wanting direct clarification] Before we get into that, you’re saying that you’re not scared.” 

KAB: “no. [laughing at him]” 

MANE:” You’re not scared at all”

KAB: “no. I’m not scared at all” 

MANE: “Okay. as long as we get that out of the way” 

KAB: “I’m just not an idiot. But I’m not scared at all, no.” 

MANE: “okay. Ooooh, so you’re saying like the smart thing to do is hide” 

(/genuinely realizing this in real time. He did not understand this until this very moment)

KAB: “I mean, yea. Let’s be realistic. You are much better at pvp than I am and you have more hearts than me [ect] I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to keep my survival. HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED A PARALLEL. You’re a lion and I’m a rabbit” [derailed, mane says he got what he wanted, thinks she got something out of it too] 

KAB: “can I ask you one thing quickly?” 

This, I think, is the only thing Kab actually cared to ask this whole conversation. She was not being purposeful in anything else, just responding to what Mane was saying and saying things. But she wasn’t really listening to what was happening, she was too focused on looking tough and explaining herself. Until this moment.

MANE: “mmmhm?” 

KAB: “why did you go after my base and try and kill me? Was it the posters? Is that why?” 

MANE: “well, the posters were just a good reason” 

KAB: “you just want to do it?” 

MANE: “I’m gonna be honest. It’s just fun” 

KAB: “oooh. So I did categorize you correctly. Ok cool!” 

MANE: “[sad] ooh. okay.“ 

Leaves call KAB: “yea Mane is just as predictable as I thought he was”

Clown comes back in vc KAB: “[explaining the convo] he just wants to. He just thinks it’s fun. He’s just a crazy villain. I told you!” 

But like, I don’t think it’s that. I think we learned that you can get Mane to hunt someone very very easily, just give him a small excuse and he’ll gladly do it. Which is useful if you want a villain or want someone to hunt you. So in that way he is super predictable. But he isn’t “a crazy villain” the posters were just an excuse, an excuse he had been looking for. Because he wants an excuse. That is very different than pure “it was for the fun”. 

The fact that she comes to the conclusion that he’s just a crazy villain after that conversation is crazy. I feel like she just was looking for confirmation for a hypothesis she had rather than really looking for research to see who Mane is. 

Which is a huge flaw for someone who wants to figure out why people are the way they are so you can manipulate them. 

I feel like Mane, if he is smart, learned far far more information about her than she did from him.

The tension for the Kab lore here lies in how this will all blow up in her face. I think she will cling to things and copium her way into believing she won no matter what. But she will have been absolutely destroyed. 

And I keep getting hit with her being incompetent because she like, wildly, and I mean WILDLY, makes wrong assumptions about the older Lifestealer’s motivations.

Which is crazy to me because she WAS a viewer! She, in theory, (but probably not in practice because no cc has enough time to watch another smp with as much attention to detail and analysis that we do) should have a really solid understanding of the crew, and she self reports that she does but she’s been wrong so many times. 

Like not only does she get Mane completely wrong here, but when Spoke logged on one night and said he was betraying the empire because of jepex she flat out believed him??? And like brought it up again later like it was true. 

She thinks Zam has a huge plan of becoming evil. She had this whole moment in the box where she mansplained to chat that we are being fooled by him. We were being gaslit by him into thinking he isn’t planning on being evil at the end. And it was just so painful to watch because she’s just so wrong. 

Because Zam has never ever thought of his lore like that. He’s reactionary to the extreme, believing he will take the current lore to the end of the season regardless of how early it is in the season. He becomes evil by the end more often than he doesn’t, but it’s not premeditated. And she should know that. 

And she assumed that Red wouldn’t kill her. Like, no, I didn’t see it coming either, but it was a very Reddoons move. To take it personal when someone causes him anxiety. There were other small assumptions she made on older life stealer motivations that I can’t remember now. 

But to clear it out, what motivates Kab Kaboodle?? She hates not being believed. That’s what I took from all this. This is her trigger, the thing that will motivate her forward. 

Because she does lie and manipulate. And that relies upon being believed. So when someone believes something that isn’t true about her (like Red’s assumptions that she was leaking info to Clown) it hurts a hell of a lot more. 

But because she lies, nobody will ever believe her when she desperately tries to get them to believe the truth.

So yea. What do you guys think about Kab and her lore? 

[bunbun-mochi]

Reyna - Queen of Onychinus

Sylus x MC (Fluff)

Warning: swearing, mentions of torture, use of weapons, non important character deaths

Word count: 1190, no proofreading

Preview: Sylus' bad luck always tends to follow him. This time it has caught up to him. He is now handcuffed and questioned by someone who thinks they deserve the crown for the N109 zone. His wife isn't his wife for just a title. When you hear he got into some trouble, you decide to save him this time.

A badass MC? Anyone?

Sylus never thought he would be in this situation.

He is tied up. On a chair. And the guy, who called himself Wayne, was pacing around the room and was babbling nonsense.

"Can you believe this?" He laughed. "I caught the leader of Onychinus!"

Sylus glared at him.

"You trying to scare me with your look? Look, other people might be scared of you, but I'm not." Wayne waved his fingers and several armed people surrounded Sylus.

Sylus knew he could get out of this situation. He might get hurt, but that's about it. However, the reason he hasn't done anything is because of her.

His wife hated when he comes home with wounds. She would have tears pricked on the side of her eyes as she bandaged her up. Sylus rather die than see his beloved wife cry for his sake. Everytime she's sad, he felt his heart breaks little by little.

"What? Don't have anything to say?" Wayne laughed. "Oh, how the tables had turned!"

Wayne once again, continues to pace around the room. "What should we do with you?" He pulled out a knife and walked closer to Sylus. "Should I cut off your tongue?" Wayne swings his knife around Sylus' face. "Or should I cut one of your ears off?"

Then Wayne's face lit up. "I heard your right eye is special. Should I gouge them out?" Wayne laughed.

"I suggest to you," Sylus finally started to speak. "To leave me unscathed."

Wayne blinked at Sylus and laughed again. "Is that your way to beg me to leave you alone?"

Sylus smirked, "No. But I am trying to save your ass from someone else."

Wayne scorned, "What? There's someone even you're scared of?"

"Yes."

Wayne immediately stopped smiling. "What."

"Have you seen the numbers on my henchman's hoods?"

"Yes. Those two bastards have 06 and 07 on their hood. How is this relevant to this." Wayne asked impatiently.

"It's their rank." Sylus sat straighter, wearing his signature smirk. "Want to guess what's mine?"

Wayne scoffed, "One."

"Wrong."

Wayne narrowed his eyes, waiting for Sylus to correct him.

"I'm two."

"What does that mean?"

"That means I'm only second in terms of leaderboard. Want me to explain in simpler terms?"

It means there is someone higher than Sylus. Someone that Sylus is serving. Wayne felt slightly paranoid. But he straightened his back and put on a brave face, "So what? I bet he isn't anything."

"She is a lot stronger than me. You better be careful."

"'She'," Wayne use air quotation marks with his fingers. "Won't know you're going to die tonight."

"Well, about that," Sylus playfully winced. "I'm supposed to be home about half an hour ago. She is expecting me."

As if answering Sylus, gunshot were fired and screams were heard.

"What is that?" Wayne whipped his head around, panicked.

"Oh," Sylus smiled. "She's here."

More screams were heared and severl more gunshot were fired. Then complete silence.

"Go! Find out what's going on!" Wayne pushed one of the armed man toward the door.

Before he could even reach the door, the door was knocked down.

Several man, including Wayne, screamed.

Sylus chuckled, "Sweetie, I was waiting for you."

A shadow emerged, a woman's voice echoed into the room, "I'm disappointed. How would you feel waking up with a cold bed?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie. As you can see, work did not work the way I wanted."

The shadow walked closer to the light, revealing a... woman. A woman who is a lot shorter than Sylus.

Wayne blinked in confusion. A woman is the boss... of Sylus? She looks so weak. A single flick could knock her dead.

The woman clicked her tongue, "You better snuggle me once we get home."

"Yes, dear."

Sweetie? Dear? Snuggle? What are they? Married?

Wayne felt anger swelling and shouted, "Is this a type of joke? Who the fuck are you?"

The woman glared down at Wayne, making Wayne shiver, "I'm talking to my husband. Shut the fuck up."

She's just a woman. A single punch and she'll die. Wayne thought, building courage. He held the knife in his hand tightly and ran toward the woman.

Then in a blink of an eye, Wayne saw a blur and then absolute blackness.

I paced around our shared bedroom. Walked back and forth. Watching out the window trying to catch a single glimpse of Sylus' motorcycle.

It had been nearly 30 minutes. He should've been home by now. Anxiety had gotten the better of me.

Is he in trouble? Could he be hurt?

I quickly grabbed my phone. Sylus has a tracker on him that tells me where he is at all times. I checked his location, grabbed my jacket and motorcycle keys, and ran out the front door.

Where he is at wasn't far. I parked at the side, and walked toward the front door.

And that's when I realized.

I should've come with weapons.

Too late.

I opened the front door and I heard yelling.

Yea, I should've come with weapons.

Too late now. I immediately went into action. I didn't work in the Hunters Association for nothing!

Those men are so much weaker than wanders. I grabbed the nearest person, disarmed him and grabbed his weapon and I started firing.

Yelling, screaming, and gunshot ringed in my ears. As soon as I run out of bullet in one gun, I just grabbed another one from fallen bodies.

I checked my phone again to see where Sylus located in this specific building. He's higher up. I jumped from railing to railing as gunshot were firing at me.

I jumped from another railing, and in midair I fired a few more shots and the building became quiet.

Phew, that was close.

Then i heared a muffled yell, "Go, find out what's going on."

Sylus must be in there. I thought as I kicked as hard as I can, knocking the door down. Screams were heard in the room.

The room was a lot lighter than the stairway. And my poor husband is tied to a chair at the center of the room.

When Wayne came at you with the knife, I just side kicked against his head, completely knocking him out cold.

Sylus looked over at me, slightly shocked. The armed people around Sylus slowly backed away as they saw their leader knocked out cold by a woman.

I walked over to Sylus and unbound the cuff around his wrists. "You should call Luke and Kieran over with a car. I'm very tired."

Sylus chuckled, "Yes, dear. I will do that immediately. But first," Sylus massaged his sore wrists. "We should deal with them."

I clicked your tongue.

Shot guns and screams were heard from the room. Then complete silence. A pair of shadow jumped out the window and landed onto the ground. Then in a few seconds, the building blew up.

"I'm going back to sleep," I yawned.

Sylus was carrying me in his arms, "Go sleep. I'll tuck you in bed once we get home."

"Mmhmm, and?"

"I will cuddle and snuggle with you."

I smiled and hummed in satisfaction.

[ghcstao3]

(x)

-

The night of John’s first visit to meet Simon’s family, Simon and Tommy both get exiled to the kitchen to wash dishes after dinner so Beth, quote, can have a chat with someone who can properly gossip.

Of course, though somewhat reluctant, they both oblige. And as always, they settle into their silent rhythm, Simon washing and Tommy drying, uttering no more than a few words when something is needed. Because it’s just what they do, what they’ve always done, in a way—the two of them have always been men of few words.

But then Tommy is casting a quick, almost paranoid glance back to the dining room where Beth and John chat happily before bumping Simon’s shoulder and flashing a cheeky grin. All Simon can do is huff and raise a questioning eyebrow because of course his brother is going to pester him about John, now that they have a moment of almost-privacy.

“He’s cute,” Tommy teases, easily slipping into their mother tongue.

“He’s a friend,” Simon replies tersely. Now knowing what nonsense Tommy was going to bring up, Simon finds he has no issue returning his attention to the few dishes left to clean.

Tommy scoffs. “Friends don’t look at each other like that,” he says. “I know you like him, Simon. No point in hiding that.”

Simon sighs. He tries to force his tense shoulders to relax, but it’s no use. Is he really that obvious?

“I just—“ Simon swallows. He sets the dish he’d been scrubbing aside to instead brace his hands on the lip of the sink. “I don’t know if I can… admit it to him. Not yet, at least. He’s just…”

Tommy snorts. “He isn’t anything. I mean—it’s obvious he feels the same.”

Simon frowns at that, because surely it isn’t true. Johnny liking him like… like that? No, that just doesn’t seem quite right. Simon isn’t good enough for Johnny, couldn’t—wouldn’t be, not in a million years.

Tommy laughs, watching the emotions flicker across Simon’s face.

“Who else do you let invade your space like that?” Tommy asks. “Who else do you let call you Si?”

Simon’s frown deepens. “No one.”

Tommy hums, resuming his task of drying and storing. “Thought so.”

The rhythm they fall back into is stiff, only reminiscent of what it had been before. Simon’s thoughts are running a mile a minute, cataloguing every interaction, every conversation, every moment with Johnny over the night; over the years—could Tommy really be telling the truth?

“I can hear you thinking, idiot,” Tommy eventually mutters. “I wasn’t saying you need to profess your undying love or whatever tonight, but I am saying—“

“Beth sent me to see what was taking so long,” John suddenly interrupts from the doorway. Maybe there must be some truth to what his brother had said, given the way Simon’s heartbeat flutters the moment he hears Johnny’s voice. “Thought you both drowned.”

Tommy shakes his head, turning while Simon pointedly continues to wash. “We’ll be out in a minute,” he laughs. “Your lieutenant’s a bit slow at washing.”

“Am not,” Simon grumbles, but it’s no use. John is already disappearing back into the other room.

Wordlessly, Simon and Tommy finish up with the dishes, wipe down the counters, and make for the dining room to rejoin their other halves in whatever conversation they’d been sharing in the meantime.

But before they can, Tommy stops Simon and gives him a look that Simon can’t quite decipher.

“Just… think about it. He’s not as unattainable as you’ve convinced yourself he is,” Tommy says, then turns and leaves Simon with the aftershock of his words.

In no world does Simon think he’d confess his feelings that same night—but maybe, just maybe, Simon should listen to his brother’s advice for once.

[nevertheless-moving]

Stormlight AU 27B: Elhokar time travel

From Death to Way of Kings. Tries to get help, but unfortunately Elhokar is alone here.

Alternate version of this meeting, in which Elhokar uses his elementary light weaving skills to sneak into Sadeas bridgeman barracks, absolutely scaring the shit out of them.

Dark amorphous blob with glowing red eyes entering the barracks [it is his first time trying to be invisible. He is bad at it]: hello stormbles — do you all just sleep on the floor? And what is that smell? Heralds, this is depressing.

Bridge Four: WHAT THE — VOIDBRINGER! VOID —

Dark amorphous blob with glowing red eyes: wha — I am not a voidbringer! Stormblessed, tell them! I don't look anything like a voidbringer!

Kaladin: what? What are you? how do you know me? what do you want from us?

Dark amorphous blob with glowing red eyes: i — i thought —

Kaladin: Bissig, your knife, quick —

Dark amorphous blob with glowing red eyes: ah! keleks breath! Knife is not necessary, i, look — look — you remember, right? You saved me from assassins? We flew from Urithiru to Alethkar? Rescuing — well, attempting to rescue the queen? Come on hero, your kind of my last hope here, you have to remember —

[Dark amorphous blob with glowing red eyes turns into pretty light eyed woman]: tada! I - I swore my first oath! Just before I….you were there!

Teft: damnation! You're one too, aren't you!

Moash: uh, kal? It… might be a good time to talk about your past now?

Lopen: gancho, does this have something to do with your, you know, thing.

Skar: thing? what thing?

Rock: captain, i believe this woman too has god with her

Drehy: god?

Kaladin: i … have no idea what's going on. Who — what are you?

Brightlady [starting to tear up]: i — i thought for sure you would…you're the hero, not…oh stormfather, what am i supposed to do now?

Lopen: gancho! Very rude question! If you can't remember a woman's name you're supposed to fake it eh?

Moash: yeah kaladin, don't you know anything about women? Also, seriously? a lighteyes?

Kaladin:

Kaladin: i'm sorry ma'am, i don't — i have no idea what you're talking about

Brightlady [sniffling]: okay…alright…you don't remember, but you can still fix this— you can fly right? You could take an army to the voidbringers before they bring the desolation —

Hobber: you can fly??

Moash: don't be stupid, she's clearly insane — that black smoke must have been some kind of trick — listen lady —

Teft: lad…

Kaladin: i can't —

Syl: actually i just remembered! I think you might be able to — well not fly like me, but uh, fall? Upwards?

Kaladin:

Kaladin: I — I don't know how to fly! I'm not who you think i am!

Drehy: did anyone notice he didn't say he couldn't fly. because he definitely changed what he was going to say just now. Like i don't know how to use a bow, but i probably could, if someone taught me

Moash: Kal, just say you can't fly and end this conversation already

Kaladin: ...I have never flown before in my life

Bissig: i KNEW there was something about you — you're a herald in disguise, right?

Kaladin: what?! No! I — I might be a surgebinder, but seriously, I have no idea what's going on, alright?

Moash: what in the name of jezrians balls is a surgebinder?

Brightlady: i can't free you yet — dalinar will die…

Kaladin: wait, you can free us?

Brightlady: i mean i could probably buy you from Sadeas…but dalinar won't listen to me, he thinks i'm being paranoid — he would die — the entire kholin house would fall…

Kaladin: i don't give a cremling's leg about the kholin house! My men are dying! The bridgecrews are a death sentence and we're making runs every day now! If you want me to be some big voidbringer slaying hero then free us first!

Brightlady: oh? And the thousands of dark eyed soldiers under his command? You don't care about them?

Kaladin: what are we supposed to do as slaves that —

Voice from outside: hey! Bridge Four! What's that racket?

Moash: chull dung

Skar: Captain —

Kaladin: ah! Quick, change back to the voidbringer!

Brightlady: I'm not a —

Kaladin: if they find a brightlady in here we'll all be strung up! Hurry!

Brightlady: who would dare — oh, right right, uh —

[Brightlady transforms into nondescript herdassian man]: how — 'ows that?

Lopen: cousin!

Anyway after Elhokar leaves bridge four is left with the distinct impression that Kaladin is a herald who lost his memory.

Kaladin: i haven't lost my memory! I remember my whole life! I just don't like talking about it! None of us like talking about our pasts! Teft tell them what you told me —

Teft: …i mean i thought you were a surgebinder, but…

Moash: seriously what in damnation is surgebinding

Teft: it's people with the same powers as knights radiant. People who can breathe in stormlight and do things with it. After he survived the highstorm i brought him diamond chips…it's how he healed

Kaladin: which you didn't actually tell me right away

Skar: why didn't you tell us?

Moash: yeah. I thought we were in this together

Kaladin: i – i didn't know what to think. I still don't. For all i know I'm cursed, like the Knight's radiant were.

Lopen: you ain't cursed gancho! What kind of curse let's you stick rocks together?

Rock: stick rocks together?

Moash: alright, i can see why you wouldn't share a storming useless power

Teft: i thought you were a radiant but… most people say that the heralds come first, warning the world and then training the radiants. In some ways it makes more sense to be a herald alone than a single radiant without a herald…

Drehy: oh! Which herald do you think he is!

Kaladin: i am not a herald!

Sigzil: i believe that woman would have been Shalash — i have seen her depicted as a many faced woman capable of soul casting

Moash: huh i have heard that soulcasters are actually something unnatural under those hoods

Kaladin: seriously moash? You believe this?

Moash: i mean i already knew no one was answering prayers. If you're a herald that just means that the gods are fumbling around confused and screwing up, which would storming explain a lot about the world

Skar: oh that's a good point

Kaladin: no it's not!

Hobber: its alright sir! Er, my lord!

Kaladin: do NOT call me —

Eth: when i asked him about washing hands before and after touching wounds he just said 'wisdom of the heralds'

General bridgemen: oooh

Kaladin: my father taught me that! He's a surgeon! I grew up in a rural farming village in Sadeas! Enlisted in the army when i was 15 – i can remember my whole life, alright? Every miserable detail! I was 11 when King Gavilar died! I — and I can't believe i have to convince people of this — am not a Herald!

Bridge Four:

Rock: have heard of men whose minds make up stories after hitting head

Lopen: oh! oh! or, maybe its like, a past life thing

Sigzil: some religions do tell of mythical figures being reborn in times of need

General bridge four: ooh

Kaladin: YOU THREE AREN'T EVEN VORIN

Lopen: exactly!

Sigzil: reluctant as i am to be on the same side of an argument as lopen, it is not really heresy for us

Teft: i think jezrian and nale were the ones who could walk on walls and whatnot

Jaks: Jezrian sort of rhymes with kaladin!

Kaladin:

Kaladin: I'm going back to sleep.

[weemietime]

There isn't a whole lot of content on Tumblr about schizoid personality disorder so I thought I would make a little informational post. SZPD is a cluster A personality disorder, of the odd/eccentric cluster alongside schizotypal and paranoid. It is on the schizophrenia spectrum, and comprises the negative rather than positive symptoms of schizophrenia.

This primarily means we have avolition, catatonia, flat/blunted affect (demeanor), limited interoception (emotional sensations), lack of bonds to others including primary family members, and indifference to the opinions of others.

Whilst this isn't a diagnostic criteria, many of us are also asexual and aromantic, meaning we don't want to have sex with other humans (but usually do masturbate) and have no interest in romantic companionship.

My most disabling symptom is avolition, because I have comorbid ADHD. This means when I don't have my medication (dextromethorphan 120mg) I just sit there and zone out and can't even hold a conversation or move my body, nor even do things like feed myself. It is genuinely crippling and I am unemployed because of this, even though my meds help, they don't cure me and I need a lot of time alone.

Schizoid is something of an "anti-human" disorder, because we fail to form basic social bonds with others including primary caregivers. As a child I got diagnosed with inhibited RAD because I could not tolerate human contact. This differs from autism because autistic people generally want to socialize, they just lack the skills. I don't want to socialize and it takes tremendous effort for me to do so.

To even make this post I had to wait for my meds to click in as I was just sitting there mindlessly beforehand. While we have low internal sensations of emotions like caring, love, happiness, trust, sadness, etc. we aren't typically antisocial/dissocial and don't have a pattern of exploiting others or dishonesty. This requires too much effort.

There is a schizoid version of narcissism but it is separate to narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is characterized by a very fragile ego. You can't contradict or disagree with NPD because they are unable to regulate the emotions caused by conflict. Conversely, SZPD does not care about the opinions of others at all and places little value on them.

Our sense of superiority is legitimate, meaning we just do genuinely believe we are smarter than other people. So your mileage may vary on how insufferable you find that. I recognize this trait in myself and work to actively challenge it since it is illogical for me to think I am more special than anyone else. But, my ego is very stable, so criticism doesn't bother me the way it would in NPD.

Interoception means the sensations you feel inside your body. We lack this, so even stuff like hunger and tiredness don't impact us until we are very hungry or extremely exhausted. I don't have the feeling you would to look at a family member and get a sense of love or trust. I have a logical sense of obligation that I developed through choosing what I value based on reason. I describe this as care, and I place importance on my friendships, but there is no emotional component to this, it is all cognitive.

Tangentially: I'm somewhat of an optimistic nihilist, believing that there is no grand purpose to existence. Yes, even as a religious person. I don't think G-d ultimately has a purpose either, as an agent of the universe. (I don't believe G-d created the universe.) We have a human nervous system, so we base our rubric for morality on suffering and decide what is meaningful both collectively and individually.

I don't believe in true freedom of will (but I do believe we have agency), because we know that Bereitschaftspotential or reaction potentials occur in the brain up to two seconds before we become conscious of a volitional desire. Our consciousness occurs because of quantum synchronicity in the brain, so our free will is in a bit of an in-between state rather than fully determined or fully free.

So, we are not born deciding "I'm going to be an abuser," that happens because of brain abnormalities. It's no different than the forces of creation and destruction at work like a virus infecting a host cell. I don't place much importance on concepts of self-hood, I view myself as the electrical and chemical processes that occur in my brain, which happen without my choosing, that I can influence and impact through my own agency.

Anyway, these are just some basic schizoid meanderings for you all and I hope that this was informative or interesting in some way. Peace.

[room-surprise]

Hey! Fun question, how do you think an in-canon kabumisu confession would go? People keep portraying mithrun as blunt and straightforward about their relationship, but would he be scared to tell kabru in the chance that he'd say no and leave? Is the desire to just be in a relationship with kabru, or is the desire of not wanting to scare him off greater than that? I'm so starved on the lack of post-canon kabumisu content, they make me go crazy

As usual, I'll try not to go into TOO much detail because then I won't be motivated to write fic about it... and I AM planning to write a post-canon Kabumisu fic anon, so don't worry. I'll get there eventually :3

They make me go crazy too 😔

I think Mithrun's a complicated guy with complicated emotions. Even when he was "empty" in the dungeon he actually showed a lot of feelings - smug satisfaction, annoyance, anger, even a little bit of subtle happiness.

So while I DO think he will still be blunt in general, I also think it's a mistake to assume that means he doesn't feel things and won't have anxieties and insecurities just like any other person.

Mithrun used to be WILDLY insecure, and jealous, and paranoid. He just stopped caring about anything, but if, like the end of the manga suggests, he is going to try to START caring again, he will then start to have feelings, too.

I think Mithrun is intensely aware of his own "undesirability", that's one of the reasons he's BEEN so depressed. Most of his self-worth before the dungeon hinged on being "better" than his brother, and better than other people. Then he looses that (or maybe he was never actually better at all!), so what does he have left? And now his youth is gone too, he's middle-aged and lost his "best years" to depression. He's disabled, he's scarred, he's a bastard that nobody wants.

It's a pretty huge fall from "most eligible bachelor in the empire"!

So I think no, he won't just bluntly tell Kabru that he likes him. It will take Mithrun awhile to realize how he feels, and once he does, he'll be afraid to reach out, so he's going to do what I call "playing silly little elf games". He's going to try and flirt via writing letters and sending gifts, to hint that he likes Kabru.

Luckily for Mithrun, Kabru also knows how to play Silly Little Elf Games (he's an Olympic champion), so he picks up the signals and starts reciprocating, though he's also uncertain and worried that he's misunderstanding. Captain Mithrun couldn't be flirting with him, could he? But... what if he is?

(I will go into Kabru's feelings at a later date anon i promise.)

I think the thing that will ultimately push Mithrun to act is the fear that he'll miss his chance. Mithrun realizes Kabru is a limited time deal that he can only enjoy for the next 60-something years, and he wants every minute of that time for himself, no matter how much it will someday hurt to lose Kabru.

And he also knows that Kabru is very handsome and charming, and he can't expect Kabru to wait for Mithrun to get himself figured out. Someone else will swoop in and snatch that man up, so Mithrun has to hurry.

ALL OF THAT SAID... I think their confession is a lot less of a confession, and much more "we have both been picking up these signals of interest for months/years, and finally one of us pushes it a little bit further than we've ever pushed it before and we acknowledge the unspoken thing that has been growing between us."

Maybe it's a hand resting on someone's leg, or a gentle touch on the arm. Maybe it's leaning in so their shoulders touch. Maybe it's looking into each other's eyes a little bit longer than normal.

Probably it involves both of them admitting "Spending time with you makes me happier than anything else in the world. Whenever we're apart all I think about is when I'm going to see you again. I spend hours composing letters to you in my mind. I want us to spend our days together, no matter what shape that takes."

It's very vulnerable and scary for both of them, and I think they're both DEEPLY relieved after they finally get it out, and they don't get rejected. They know each other so well, and they're so good at reading people - they both thought that the other might feel the same way, but it's so scary to take that leap of faith and hope that they're right.

And just for the record, I think that Kabru worries about if Mithrun will be interested in sex or not, because sex is something that matters to Kabru, but what if Mithrun just doesn't have any desire for it?

And so before they get into a relationship Kabru has a long hard think about it, and decides that even if they never have sex, he wants to be in a romantic relationship with Mithrun anyway, because just being around him makes him feel happy, and understood, and like he isn't alone anymore. There's someone who sees him as he is, all the good and the bad, and says "I love you anyway."

And Kabru decides that he's willing to just jerk off for the rest of his life if that's the price of this relationship that he wants.

Luckily for Kabru, I think Mithrun does want to have sex with him, but I like to think that Kabru thinks through all the possibilities and decides that no matter what they end up doing together, being with Mithrun is worth it.