#just bc you don't want to show two men can have a very complex and profound relationship beyond “official proper gay couple” or “brother”

[thatfrenchacademic]

Broke: Chinese censorship of queer stories going "and they were VERY GOOD FRIENDS"

Even more fucking broke: Netflix adaption of queer stories going "and they were BROTHERS"

Guys, Netflix is going to make a modern day adaptation of Dorian Gray and they're making Basil and Dorian brothers

[rahleeyah]

Saucy anon here!

I agree with those takes LOL. Particularly the female friendship one. This may be one of my controversial takes but I do think that Mariska had a part in why that occur. She said in an interview a few months back about fans should "ship female friendships" or something along those lines.

Here's another ~controversial~ take: I wouldn't have minded if they kept Rollins and Benson's relationship like it was in the early seasons. Either as casual coworkers or even just not liking each other. And I don't mean in the stereotypical way of two women disliking each for no reason or over men. But rather their differences being in such a manner that they can't be BFFs.

Can't wait to read any other take you have lol.

I think you're absolutely right and that may be one of my most controversial takes is that I think sometimes there's a little too much m in the Olivia. The rbg paraphernalia, the hand on the heart, the retconning of her relationship with Amanda, the candle+meditation in the office; these pieces of m are very sweet but incongruous with the text. M understands Olivia better than anyone but there is always a risk with any actor or author that the self will bleed through. Sometimes that's good, bc it makes the work more human, and sometimes that bad bc it stands in contradiction to the work. Anybody who's ever written anything and possesses even an ounce of self awareness will tell you that the self bleeds through, even when we don't necessarily want it to, and we have to be able to look back at the work and see the places where the insertion of our self doesn't fit with the narrative. It can be harmless, it's sort of inevitable, I'm not saying that it's some great failing, but it has become much more prevalent in later seasons and I don't love it as a character choice.

The relationship between Olivia and Amanda is fraught. There is so much tension and complexity there and I don't like reducing it to "they're such good friends!!" Bc it is so much more than that. Amanda isn't an emotional support for Olivia - in fact Olivia's attempts at being vulnerable with Amanda have been thrown back in her teeth in the past - but Olivia has so few sources of emotional support it's not ooc for her to turn to Amanda. So there's this thing where it makes sense for Olivia to share with Amanda but it also makes sense that Amanda abandons her immediately after, and so much of the fan response and marketing around the show is "besties!!" instead of "wow isn't this fucked up." It is fucked up. Can we talk about how fucked up it is? Lol

[horizon-verizon]

A lot of fics characterize Daemon as someone who would struggle to tell Rhaenyra he loves her but I actually think he probably was always telling her that and giving her compliments in Valyrian. In F&B it says he would spend hours with her reading her Valyrian poetry and telling her tales. I think he was probably very comfortable expressing love verbally. What do you think?

I don't think it's a guarantee that he was able to freely verbalize his emotions when they aren't angry, sarcastic, or about challenging people. We're talking emotional vulnerability versus action, and for a lot of people, these don't come with each other for a matrix of reasons.

Daemon romantically loved her....that doesn't mean that if someone loves you and shows so, they're going to say so. At the same time, we know that people have often done and said romantic things (esp men) to just get others in their beds for a bit or a "night", doesn't mean they actually love them. Victorian or earlier courtships in of themselves can't also be said to come from a place of love or intended to fall in love when often there were economic transactions being made simultaneously or anticipated.

Back to Daemon and people who act like those fanfic versions of him you describe:

A)

Doing romantic things versus naming the reason/motivation for why they do them and thus affirming that motivation are two very different things (for them). Bc when they are verbally acknowledging that motivation ("love"), they feel they either have finally, fully devoted themselves to the bond they've created OR that they will begin to be in a relationship of obligations they do not want. For the long haul.

That they will take on all or most of the emotional-social responsibilities of looking after that person's emotional well being even if it may mean having to put oneself back in some ways and thus risk getting hurt or losing something(s) else, whether that may mean respect from one's other peers, wealth, other relationships platonic, familial, or otherwise. That they will hold themselves accountable for wrongs they've committed and work toward being compatible with their partner through any and most changes they will encounter. "I love you", to them, is a pledge or a seal more than an acknowledgement. And sometimes, this reluctance to affirm devotion even to oneself is accompanied by people who are more action driven OR have had some issues of abandonment or heavy disappointed form past loved one and thus saying that you "love" someone is like giving them access to material they can belittle or use against you. Again, family, romantic, or otherwise Or from said verbal affirmations being treated as worthless. Which then could become a disbelief or rejection of that sort of love's existence at all...but it's also kinda denial that's meant to shield them from truly tying themselves to people while still benefiting from the practice of intimacy itself (it's a little complex). Why commit if it's going to be thrown at your face, and why anticipate or plan to say "I love you" when it isn't or may not actually even be true?

Daemon hits some of the boxes I mention: his family has disappointed him enough times. He's very action-driven. He expresses love mostly through actions--consider the 101 council that occurred bc he was willing to battle Corlys for Viserys' claim and raised a "band" of soldiers.

B)

Add in the context of his probably trying to entice Rhaenyra into a relationship so Viserys could be either/both embarrassed or be forced to marry Rhaenyra to Daemon, and while he may have sincerely enjoyed reading those poems and told those tales in 111 A.C., when he was basically picking up where he's been doing since she was a child but then making it more romantic, and we see he's been, as I said, ALSO trying to make himself more attractive to her and had an ulterior motive. Basically, it wasn't totally "fair play". There's definitely a major overlapping element of him trying to take back some control more than be totally romantic when he courted/gave gifts, read poems, etc. in 111 A.C. (I don't mention the gift-giving and attentions before this year, bc in all those, they were clearly just familial).

[andromythical]

im dangerously obsessed with frank zhang rn so here's a "little" thing about him bc people don't realize how complex his character is. Buckle in cause this is a long one.

Frank arrived at camp (correct me if I'm wrong) about two weeks after his mother died. The night of the funeral was the night he found out he could die at any moment if a wooden stick caught fire. (Again, please feel free to correct me about the timeline and stuff.) Frank travelled from Vancouver, Canada to California. A 415 HOUR WALK. As far as we know, he did it illegally too. All while still dealing with the fact that his mother had recently passed and his (low-key kinda neglectful) grandmother was now his legal guardian.

We see how in the first few chapters, just how much Frank is drawn to archery, his grandmother even chastising him about his obsession. He wishes to be claimed by Apollo. Yet, after he wins the war games for his cohort, he is claimed by Mars. Mars, the god of war. The god of violence. The god of what killed his mother. Frank couldn't be less like him, or so we think. Of course, Frank doesn't want to be violent, but it's shown on multiple occasions how his first instinct is to fight.

When he sets off on his quest, there was no way for him to know what would lay ahead. There was no way to know that he would meet Iris, who would show him his gift. Speaking of Iris, however, this where something very interesting happens. Iris claims he is connected to the stick because he 'had too many gifts'. This confused me on my first read, because how could he have too many gifts? He could shapeshift, sure, but it's not like he had any other major powers or anything. That's where I was wrong. It was confirmed in a book, I can't remember which one, that children of Mars and Ares have control over the dead, as long as they were on the losing side of a battle. So no, he doesn't only have one power. He certainly has skills, too. He is gifted in war strategy and tactics, as well. Making him an absolute unit in combat.

Of course, how could I talk about SoN with our bringing up the whole Zhang mansion chaos? It begins with Frank, Hazel and Percy in desperation. They resort to going to his 'grandmother's house' as he calls it. Not his house, his grandmother's. (This has absolutely no significance I just wanted to point it out). His grandmother is quite literally on her death bed when they arrive, Mars at her side. When Frank and his father have a one on one, Mars mentions how he is 'Junos secret weapon'. While talking about Gaia, he mentions that - in a direct quote - " I think you worry her more than Percy or Jason or any of the seven." This ties back to Iris' comment. He is too powerful.

Grandmother Zhang seems very shitty, and for the most part is. She has told Frank that "Men do not cry, especially not Zhang men" which we can see ties into a quote further on in the book, after the mansion catches fire and they're on the plane back. Percy mentions that "Frank kept his head down, as if he was ashamed to have been crying."

What people don't mention about Frank as much, is that he lost his only family about a month or so apart. A month.

People don't like Frank because of his conflict with Leo, but what people choose to ignore is the fact that the arguments started after Frank started hearing Mars and Ares in his head. And as we see in HoH, Mars and Ares are very pushy. Some of his behaviour could be contributed to his anger at Mars, who he now hears encouraging him to fight the Greeks at every opportunity, and some could also be contributed to Leo himself, who caused the Mars and Ares fiasco, and who also teases him at every chance he gets.

it's getting very long now and I'm getting very unmotivated so I'm gonna leave it here and if I think of anything else I'll edit it :3

The moment we've all been waiting for... the Venice incident, when Frank killed between 200-300 monsters. He was blessed by Mars afterwards, and is described to have been more confident. Even Leo had stopped teasing him.

And THIS, dear readers, is why Frank is the physical embodiment of "I'm not a violent dog, I don't know why I bite."

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp is shafted by the fandom bc of racism mostly unfortunately but also I've heard a lot of people tend to not like Usopp because of how pre timeskip he's so cowardly or whatever which really throws me through a loop and floors me personally because besides the fact that he's my besutiful funny little guy for that, I also think Usopp isn't really that cowardly at all--I think he's brave. For the same reason why Nami is brave and why they both help eachother. They don't have superpowers or freak bones built into them, they are realists and grounded in the fact they know exactly what they're up against and they're just normal ppl against gods and bloodthirsty weirdos. And yet they both overcome that fear of...Dying and stand with their crew anyway. They are so brave and strong to me. Usopp is amazing and the reasons people have for not loving him to pieces are ones I always find quite shocking.

I agree wholeheartedly!! Tbh I've always thought Usopp was underrated mainly because of racism but being white I don't think I can make a proper analysis about the racism within the fandom because I don't get it first-hand. But I would love somebody to write it because I genuinely think it's very off-putting how the fandom treats him and I'd love to read it. So, if anybody knows/writes a post like that please send it to me!!

And yeah, most of the people I've known who dislike Usopp always use the "he's a coward" excuse when he's genuinely one of the bravest characters. Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji can rely on their abilities while Usopp is just- He's not built different like them. He's no swordsman. He can't ignite fire from his leg. His body isn't rubber. The monster trio is called the monster trio for a reason, lmao, and they're also pretty much normatively pretty and just guys. Like average guys. Don't get me wrong, I love the three of them, but they're extremely sexualized for a reason and it's because they're sooooo made for the male/shonen-gaze. And I actually love the Monster Trio because even if they're like that, they have amazing backstories and their personalities are extremely complex, even more if you compare them to an average shonen protagonist. But, you know, after all, they're still normative af. They're made for men to want to be like them and women to love them, so a straight white cis guy from the general audience will see them, and ofc he will resonate more with them than with Usopp (when actually the Monster Trio is also for the queers and their stories are wayyyy better than what the general audience ends up seeing, but the mischaracterization of these three is for another post, ig).

On the other hand, Usopp is not like that. He isn't normative. First of all, he's black (forever mad at the whitewashing the own show did to him) so of course racism plays a big role here. But also he's scared most of the time because he's not built like the monster trio. He's scared of dying and scared of being left out and a burden. He wants to be stronger and turn into the adventurer he dreams of being. Despite not having any talent (or not seeing his own talents), he still tries to train harder and harder every day to overcome that fear. Even when he's scared, he'll help his friends and his captain even if that means dying. And people still call him a coward because they can't fucking read properly and they just see the first layer of his personality. I honestly think people don't like him because they hate having to think and having to analyze a character that has more complexity than just fighting and being hot (two things that he also does very well, thank you very much). Usopp is brave and complex and he's so so so funny and enjoyable to watch. He's a relatable character for a lot of people and he has one of the most emotional moments in the whole show. Maybe the people who don't like him suddenly skipped Water 7 because otherwise I don't fucking get it. One of the things I love the most about him is that his dream is something he has to achieve by himself. A thing he has to do by himself and for himself. Believing in himself. Unlike the other dreams of the crew, because most of them are tangible. I know his character is often played for laughs but damn, his emotional moments hit hard and they always break me. I've always loved him and I always will and I will forever fight Usopp haters because I just don't get them.

People hate seeing complex characters because then they have to think instead of just staring at men titties <3

[convenientalias]

West Out of Yu Men/Parallel World Review

Bc I just finished watching it yesterday!

I really liked it :D

I think it had a very unique aesthetic. It's set in the desert or in cities located near the desert for the most part, and you really feel it. The characters don't always look like they're hot, but there's always a dry, gritty feeling to the air. The fashion, tooo, was pretty unique. Ye Liuxi is very rough and tumble action girl with a little bit of sexy thrown in; Chang Dong mostly dresses kind of generic, practical and understated; Ding Liu dresses kind of cutesy-garish, loosening up both in attitude and in fashion as the show progresses; and then everyone in the parallel world dresses like they're in some historical fantasy with a touch of apocalyptic. So that's all just fun to watch. I love when a show has a unique visual feel to it.

In terms of plot, the show is a little wandering and not super tight, but that makes sense for a show about two characters both investigating a mystery and traveling through a different world. It's about discovery, meeting people and seeing wonders--eventually with some political intrigue as well. I honestly wish it could have been a little longer. Give it another five episodes, and I think we could have tied up some loose ends and gotten a more satisfying ending for a couple characters (specifically I'm thinking of Gao Shen and Jiang Zhan, but even Liuxi... well, I could watch several hours more of just Liuxi lols).

The acting was all pretty good. I have to admit I was not equally invested in all characters. This is definitely the Ye Liuxi show. Everyone else can be as cool and complex as they want, but we're all here to watch Ni Ni beat people up, open up portals, drive through the desert, cut melons, flirt obnoxiously, make threats, and so on and so forth. Previously I had only seen Ni Ni in The Rise of Phoenixes, and she's good in that but more of a trickster character, clever but not exactly intimidating. I love seeing an actress in a role where she's really allowed to dominate everyone around her, and I hadn't known Ni Ni would be so good at that. Now I want to finish watching The Rise of Phoenixes at some point but I don't know if I'll feel disappointed seeing her in a role that's less absolutely tyrannical.

The other lead actor is of course Bai Yu.

Tumblrites probably know him as Guardian's Zhao Yunlan, which is also where I first saw him. In this show he's much more subdued and serious, which I think is necessary to counter such a powerful presence as Ni Ni's Liuxi. He and Ni Ni have great chemistry. It's less sexy and flirty, and more familiar and comfortable, though slow-won. There's one scene where Liuxi pokes a brooding Chang Dong with a stick until he takes the end of it, and when he lets go of it she pokes him until he holds it again, and they just sit together in silence. For me, that's kind of what their relationship is about. They understand each other and offer each other comfort and support. At the same time, they have a strong sense of physicality for a cdrama. Again, not necessarily in a sexual way, but Liuxi is the kind of person who will just drape herself on someone, hook an arm over their shoulder, rub legs like an obnoxious and kind of sexy cat... it adds to the warmth of their relationship. (Though I would also have been fine seeing the two remain platonic, but as ships go, it's rather nice.)

That said. This show also had a couple ships it did not need! Gao Shen/Ding Liu is okay but underdeveloped and kind of just background noise; Fei Tang/A He is where I enter "okay, so now you just need to pair up EVERYONE" territory. None of the ships were annoying exactly, but apart from Liuxi/Chang Dong, I just feel like you could have left them out and you wouldn't lose much. If you're going to include them, give them some damn development! That's all I can say on the matter.

I enjoyed the villains a lot. There's a variety here: Some typical shady bureaucrats, a scheming woman to serve as Liuxi's foil and rival, and a man from Liuxi's past who has a complicated relationship with her. My favorite was the last of these three, Jiang Zhan! And I won't give more spoilers than that but can I just say: Jiang Zhan deserved better!!! Will someone please write hurt-comfort fic for my boy!!

Anyway! I recommend West Out of Yu Men if:

-You like Ni Ni or Bai Yu and want to see them doing something a bit different.

-You would be interested in an atmosphere of urban fantasy meets desert epic.

-You want to see a woman playing the amnesiac "chosen one" warrior trope (and with flair).

-You like to see an ensemble go on a road trip, gathering members along the way and getting into magical shenanigans. (If you HATE road trips, though--not a reason to skip. Travel is an aspect but there's still plenty of plot to go around.)

-You want to see Ni Ni cut a melon with a big knife (you can get this in episode one. Just one episode to appreciate the glorious THUNK of a melon being cut with a large knife).

You can also watch it if you want to write fanfic for it to satisfy my current cravings for 1) femslash and 2) anything about Jiang Zhan. (I haven't talked about the possible femslash ships bc they are pretty much my imagination but Ding Liu is very cutesy and friendly with Liuxi and also that female villain I was talking about above HATES Liuxi in a way that is quite fun, so. There's that.)

Now I have to find another badass woman show to satisfy that particular mood. If you have any recs along those lines, let me know ;)

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Alright we're gonna do our first big compilation of my longass notes for a friend of the blogs fic, obviously we mUST start with The Thunder Answered Back by @spicymiilk

Fair warning, I would read the whole fic before reading my notes and laughing/crying along with me. I do think you can go chapter by chapter if you wish. Also a fair warning, I usually cull my notes before posting a fic comment; I really let myself go wild here. Proceed with caution.

Chapter one I didn't have too many notes bc I was deep in it and also there wasn't too too much cringe. Idk if this is well known about me, but I can watch like, hardcore porn or gore and not flinch. I used to watch Animal Planet vet shows while eating cheese its when I got home from school, just munching away while they did surgery on little puppies. But if you write even a tiny bit of cringe it takes me like 5 business days to recover. I fully cannot look at the screen. I will leave the room if an awkward conversation happens in my tv show. I also can't not react to cuteness as well. These notes were mental escapes a lot of the time in this fic, like mother of GOD I want to die even imagining these conversations. Mortifying. Anyways.

Unhinged things I would say on the google doc but here!

DIALOGUE, dialogue, dialogue, dialogue. It can make or break a piece and it CARRIED in this one. It's so very cringe and realistic lol. Dialogue is usually the hardest for writers but I don't think our man here has this problem lol.

Great setting as well, I can feel the heat. A setting you can physically feel is so immersive, it sucks you right in, and my ass has never been to Italy but I've been on a dock and I've been in a hot thunderstorm and I can feel it all.

Obsessed with the way Spider steps into the house and Neytiri's like "dinner, gayboy??" like she was on his ass instantly skskskks. HER LITTLE SLIGHTS AT HIM?? EXPLAIN, LOL. WHAT DID THE CHILD DO? Reminds me of the time my friends mom asked me to stop calling her Chris and I didn't understand why and just blurted back "Okay, Chris." It's just so funny to me when she hates Spider in modern fics, because there's no systemic context it's just her beefing with a small child oddly lol. Having read the whole fic now, it's just Quarich's racism connection, I believe.

I am obsessed with the plight of the boys. Obviously Spider needs to leave, but I'm hoping Lo'ak escapes the military industrial complex lol. I'm so torn. I had Sully fam on the brain, and I wanted Spider's continuing relationship with them all so badly. Maybe I simply need for them to ask Spider to stay with them? Like "live with us for a year buddy, get yourself ready for college. You can do anything king but also ur part of the family, now go deflower our son."

Here is that clarifying question I asked: Did Kiri and Spider have sex??? Or did Mandy tell her about Spider's dick? OR BOTH? I simply could not figure that out. Also missed opportunity to name that character Ninat for the lols. The next generation of Ninat's beefing with and over Sully men.

Now that you've given me my answer, truly hilarious comedic content for everyone around.

Kiri, at night: want to hear about Spider’s dick?

Lo’ak, charcoal and paper out, ready to create an impressive sketch: ew, no, go ahead.

Chapter two, FUCK OFF Jeytiri flirting karaoke is adorable, that’s hilarious. The whole scene made my heart happy bUT NOT HAPPY ENOUGH not enough comfort I need more of it.

Spider turning to Lo’ak who's aLREADY LOOKING AT HIM cause they’re both like “oh you mentioned love, let me look at my best friend,” I’ll die.

Lo’ak literally BEGGING Spider to sing so he can swoon in the corner. I love this headcanon that seems to be cropping up of Spider being like a really good singer, it's very interesting to me.

JAKE UNDERSTANDING SPIDER I’ll die. Jake’s adopted that child you can’t convince me otherwise. Dude, even Neytiri fucking sees him as part of the family, I’ll scream. The tooth gem thing??? Iconic. Loved it. She’s giving Spider specifically cookies??? I’ll die. She's included him in all their shit. Not just anyone can do family game night karaoke. The karaoke, I am obsessed. Adorable. The Kiri and Lo’ak banter means the world to me. Their limp wrist agenda, the limp wrist bullying. What will he do when he can’t hold that against her? She must be unbearable to him in return when Spider isn't there. We love a homophobic gay. It's like what I said about my roommate i slept with twice (who follows me on here and we all better hope doesn't perceive this post); "I only get offended when SHE calls me slurs because I know then it comes from a place of true homophobia."

Kiri is literally begging Spider to understand Lo’ak wants him. BEGGING LO’AK TO UNDERSTAND SPIDER WANTS HIM. Kiri trying not to die at how obvious they both are. Kiri, going to beat the shit out of Lo’ak for asking about Mandy of all people bc of how far he's gone to avoid learning about that. I STILL AM UNCLEAR AS TO IF HIS ASS ACTUALLY DIDN'T KNOW SPIDER BROKE UP WITH MANDY OR HE WAS JUST BEING AN ASS.

Also fuck u for underestimating the importance of Tuk to Spider, he wants Tuk to remember him please I swear.

Also I have noted you have hinted at Spider’s praise kink. I can see it clearly. Nothing more will be said on that topic, but sometimes a praise kink simply makes sense for a character.

'IT COMES OUT MORE LIKE GAY' that was just for me, I know. So was Ninat's kid, obviously. Now that it's cONFIRMED for me I love to know that I am the target audience of all locorro fics ever.

Spider: *calls Lo’ak baby and gets embarrassed*

Lo’ak: *rebooting*

Lol Spider punching Lo’ak for saying slurs is so funny. Lo’ak's like if I say it I ain’t it, and that's on falling for the guy that is punching me for saying the slurs.

This little "I knew" reveal was CERTAINLY not what I was expecting. Not at all. A delightful little twist huh? A little trope subversion? AN EXPLICIT DRUNK CONFESSION IS SO HEART-WRENCHINGLY AWFUL OH MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED THEN WHAT DID THEY D O I MUST KNOW. "It’s not a big deal bc I… like u too obviously lol." That's the end of the sentence and the end of the communication. I was driven insane by that, I just finished XO Kitty, worst show ever, and I was reminded how much I despise when communication would solve legit every problem but it's handled realistically here. Communication is so hard for the boys Kiri will throw hands. And I brought your inhaler with me obvs cause I’m in love with you.

I’m sad about an asthmatic fist fight but it’s so appropriate. I am sad tho. I am a hurt/COMFORT bitch where is my COMFORT. I don't think my body is ready for a nocorro fic from u @spicymiilk my blog is about to become all comforting headcanons and we're going to ignore the plethora of Hunger Games ones I got today.

Now we have to sit here in this world where Lo'ak thought Spider was emotionally(?) cheating on Mandy with him if he thought they were still dating, the fucking clown idiot fool.

FINALLY, for the third and final chapter, with some bonus answers Andrei has given to my demanding all caps questions.

I’m so mean, I’m laughing at the idea of Kiri waking up at an ungodly 7:34am to Lo’ak ugly crying over Spider’s fake bed on the floor like he’s gone off and died in the war. She’s just like the pizza box community meme like uhhhh. Now I know this must happen oFTEN so I again figure that she must have gotten really good at sleeping through his ugly sobbing.

JHUST FUCKING LEAVE QUARITCH THIS IS SO ANNOYING GET OUT OF MY PLOT I’M TRYNA SEE KIRI’S TEXTS, ugh I'm so biased I despised how much he was in this chapter he should choke I wish asthma was contagious. Although, for some reason Quaritch calling Spider Lo’ak’s wife did things to me personally, The sweet homosexual love line then took me out back and popped me (I mean this in a like, Italian mafia putting me down outside way and not like, doing poppers outside a club although for some reason both are giving the same energy).

Neytiri murdering Spider for both turning her son gay and also making him sad can be something so personal. I still am in denial of every universe where she doesn't like him, and in this one I just love the idea of them slinking back to Italy having eloped or some shit where Spider now has to build that relationship but now having deflowered and stolen her son in the night. Hilarious. They must bond over talking about how stupid he is. They're so similar, how can the people with Jake and his clone not be.

Lol I also forgot Lo’ak got a black eye, that makes Kiri’s texts earlier so much funnier. Kiri was like they made out so hard he was struck with love. Developed a bruise. His gayness punched him in the face.

SPIDER KILL YOURSELF IM IN YOUR ROOM KICK YOUR DAD OUT IS SO FUNNY TO ME THE KYS SPECEFICALLY KILELD ME.

Oh my god the crying was all a lie, a fantasy, I’m so disappointed. More realistic, sure, but still. I am unclear as to if it was rEAL.

I had the cunt thing spoiled for me when I was catching up on posts I missed; never did I imagine lol. Almost as hilarious as Lo’ak telling Spider to die because he didn’t look at him, gay.

Spackle covering the hole in the wall, hmm, I wonder who punched that there?? Also abusive Quaritch giving romantic advice is making me want to puke up all my organs. I know Andrei says say the hole in the wall was nothing, but you can't have an abusive dad character and then mention a hole in the wall and nOT have us thinking that Quaritch punched a hole in the wall. Every reader is gonna think that.

Lol those Kiri texts and what she says is sO MEAN god I totally get why she did it but omg way to ruin a man over something that is not his decision or his fault. She’s just so so mad about the gays being dumb. Can’t believe she finally coughed up this info. Also the way Quaritch could probably hear all this through the wall makes me wanna die.

Speaking of Quaritch, what an interesting portrayal of their relationship. As a Quaritch hater, there's very few fics where I don't just fully skip long interactions with him. I gotta have really been sucked into the world, and I was with this one. I can't tell what of my feelings on the characters have made me biased on the relationship and what are my feelings on what the text portrayed. The feeling of too late in their relationship is there, overwhelmingly and devastatingly, but part of me found myself unconvinced by the attempts from Quartich. I literally can't tell if it's my own bias (most likely) or if it's my own lack of explicit background knowledge.

What we do learn of the past we learn in fragments, passing lines from Spider's internal monologue. They aren't the focal point of the story, but they are deeply important to the world created, and it leaves me with a feeling like I'm in an unfinished paint by numbers; I don't quite have the full picture. (Again, as I always say to you in my beta notes Andrei, these are incredibly harsh comments for fic. It's just good enough I'm treating it as though it's more lol (bc it can be)).

As to why everyone is finding Kiri mean; yeah she's neurospicy and we do clearly get the vibe that they talk to each other in this way, this casual banter that doesn't really mean anything. That being said, casual "kill yourself" or like "this is all your fault" and shit like that when the character is clearly upset and angry comes across as serious. Knowing Kiri as a character I didn't think she was, but reading it took me aback because as a standalone I don't have that context. In arguments and serious moments those words pack a punch, especially to a reader in such close third as we are with Spider in this one. We are WITH him and seeing only his thoughts and perspectives, his hurt is front and center so it's easy to feel hurt and defensive as a reader. I digress.

Lo’ak’s like every man in a crime show calling his wife to hear her voice one last time before he goes to to the dangerous mission and almost dies. He's like "I'll hear Spider's breathing and then know the US military is the way for me." Spider, the barrier between Lo’ak and the goddamn US military. That’s so funny to me. This is another reason to feel confused by Kiri's vitriol; it's not Spider's fault what Lo'ak chooses to do with his life and it is unfair to blame him. One line of her doing it I get, but she does it several times and the only excuse we get for her is from Spider.

Kiri is better than me I’m an awful secret keeper. But also maybe she could’ve coughed that bad boy up earlier, huh?

Tbh tho, on a serious writing note; it’s so well written because from the beginning we know exactly what is happening. They both like each other and Kiri knows both sides. That was obvious to me. You tell us from the get go that Spider is leaving when he turns 18, and that Lo’ak is leaving to join the military, WE KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN. And yet the train chugs on and each event sets it in motion instead of derailing it, leaving us with an inevitable tragedy we all saw coming. Well done. If I was giving line edits on a publishable work, I’d say speed up the timeline. Make the whole fic (so excluding prior events like the party) all happen like. A few days before Spider leaves. I want to feel it all in real time, up close, as it happens. No breaks in time. I also want that memory convo with Lo’ak earlier lol, so that the realization of it can hit later. And honestly, if it wasn’t fic I’d leave it with the Kiri and Spider convo. No happy ending. BUT NOW LET ME GO READ MY WELL DESERVED HAPPY ENDING. U would've been SICK for not including one.

Extremely uncommon fanfiction Jake Sully W here. It should be more common I am an unapologetic stan.

Them going to find each other is so funny to me. Kiri was personally sending them on a wild goose chase as revenge.

OH THERE IT IS THE COMMON JAKE SULLY L. Although driving your gay ass son to do an airport rom com moment at 5:45am is actually quite the parenting w, where the fuck was Neytiri she would’ve been much more efficient. I mean she wouldn't have let him go, but she would've been efficient about it.

The idea of Lo’ak making his final decision to go to the military earlier in the day and then not actually doing it until he wakes Jake up at 2am makes me cackle. Jake: you go get that dick son, your mother can kill us both later.

ALSO WHY’S HE PULLING HIS SHIRT COLLAR SO HIGH, HMMM, ANDREI??? Showing up to meet his grandmother absolutely dEFILED. Does Lo'ak even have a change of clothes, that monster.

It’s 2:18am (when I originally write this), I have work tomorrow as I do literally every day of the week, and I’m just smiling to myself at this shit. Criticism: not enough of them being happy and also I didn’t get to learn what depraved things Spider wanted to do to Lo’ak that he drunkenly told him about that Lo’ak then had to live with torturing himself (and Kiri) over for months.

Andrei's response on what Spider drunkenly said to Lo'ak for the people: The depraved things are as follows— spider sat his ass in Lo’ak’s lap, completely and utterly gone, and waved poetry about Lo’ak’s long and strong fingers for at least ten minutes. He also made sure to mention his borderline tank top kink. Lo’ak definitely did not internalize that

I just have to say; I should've expected that. Those two gay ass losers to simply lose their minds over tHAT, which is like nOTHING. A REGULAR CONVERSATION I'D DARE SAY. ONE OF THE FIRST CONVERSATIONS I HAD WITH ONE OF MY ROOMMATES WAS ABOUT HER HAND KINK, SO I RECIPROCATED BY SAYING I THOUGHT THE DWARVES IN LOTR HAD GOOD HANDS. LO'AK WAS DEAD, SIMPLY MURDERED, A BLUSHING FOOL OVER THAT.

Lo'ak, stumbling into his and Kiri's room: Spider confessed his love for me and said... depraved things.

Kiri: OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE SAY.

Lo'ak: He said he likes my tank tops... I can barely speak of it out loud.

Kiri: Oh. 🙄

Also lowkey Kiri has to be enraged they’re normal now that they’re away from her. ALSO DOESN’T THAT BITCH LO’AK HAVE SCHOOL?? Hilarious all around. Lo’ak brings Spider back because they cannot be apart and then keeps him in his and Kiri’s room for the next year until he finishes high school. They see how long they can go without Quaritch finding out Spider’s nearby. Kiri hates them so much, especially now that they fuck in her space.

Andrei said in response to this: Lo’ak finished school in Florida!! Pulled a fast one on the school system and said hey I’m smart enough to finish like two classes here. Kiri didn’t speak to EITHER of them for months. Neytiri would call to check up and Kiri would be whining in the background about how she’s betraying her

They make up when Spider saves up to get her a ticket to visit them for a summer 🤸

The idea of Lo'ak never returning is so funny to me in so many ways. First of all, Spider dropping him off and picking him up like he's the sexy older boyfriend in every romcom ever. Second, the idea of Spider bullying him for having to go to school still. Three, they just squat with Spider's grandma, and she's like god I expected one gay loser not TWO. Four, Neytiri calling to check up just resulting in her and Spider both bitching about Lo'ak and Kiri respectively here is how the Neytiri and Spider fanboys can win-

Also, the idea of someone having to tell Neteyam about this makes me want to cry real tears of laughter. He’s in his first semester of college someone free him.

Andrei said: Let neteyam live in blissful ignorance. He knew Lo’ak was a raging homosexual for their entire lives and the second he saw spider he was like. Oooohhh okay. And then he never looked again the mental strength required to deal with it was just too much

Kiri, on facetime: so Lo'ak followed Spider-

Neteyam, opening a textbook in his Harvard dorm room or some shit:

[koqabear]

hiii, your works are absolutely amazing, esp only you darling, i had literally had chills when i read it, it was so fucking terrifying in the best way possible. i know you spoke about your thought process when writing longer fics, but i wanted to ask how you nail characters and emotions so perfectly. i'm trying to write a thriller/horror fic right now, and you just write the genre so well, i had to ask. how do you show characterization so well? i'm sorry if this doesnt make sense lol 😭

AHHHH OMG THANK YOU SM 😭😭 this was a little hard for me to explain bc honestly i don't even know how i do it myself... i tried rlly hard to break down little things i like to do under the cut, i hope this helps!!

(note. i literally tried so hard to explain this as thoroughly and clearly as i could that i drafted it and FORGOT ABOUT IT. i know its late but i hope you're still able to find a bit of use from this.)

so first, whenever i think of a character, i try to flesh out a few things: what is their role in the story, what kind of dynamic do i want them to have with other characters, and what kind of person do i want them to be/be perceived as overall?

*something that i'd like to point out is the importance that inner dialouge/thoughts vs. the behavior and spoken dialogue can have on characterization. it really helps establish a character as a good or bad person and can make them more dimensional (ex: having a scene where yeonjun comforts mc over a breakup but is only thinking about how happy he is to have her to himself now)

the two most complex and important characters in OYD are beomjun, ofc; when writing them, the very first thing that came with their character was their roles: yeonjun was the best friend, beomgyu was the stranger and eventually, catalyst to every bad event 😭 yeonjun is the best friend who is pining hopelessly after the mc and has a false moral compass-- he's protective over the mc and keeps a tense relationship with beomgyu; just a tad bit afraid of what the other is willing to do, but still willing to go along with it bc of his obsession. beomgyu is made out to be the charismatic stranger that the mc just can't help but get close to; he has a very manipulative relationship with both the mc and yeonjun, and he's used as a device to move the story along, if that makes sense.

so with yeonjun, i made him out to be very sweet and doting over the mc; scolding her for letting gyu fix her laptop, feeling bad for lying to her, caring for her while she's sick, comforting her after her n jaemin broke up. i also added how close they were by adding small details like the fact that they've been friends for a long time, enough for yj to know the mc's family, and for them to be able to be touchy and clingy. i did all that to show that yj really cared for the mc and that his feelings for her were genuine; by building a background and adding small scenes like the one where they got caught in the storm and the mc has clothes for yj to change into, their close relationship was made believable.

but alsoooo, i wanted to show that yeonjun was very possessive and borderline (straight up) obsessed with the mc-- constantly being around her, scolding her for small careless mistakes, getting jealous when seeing her around other men and following her during a date; all things that eventually escalated bit by bit-- but still blended in with his innocent, cute moments, so that it showed a struggle between his two sides-- until it was finally revealed that he's had thoughts of tracking the mc long before gyu even suggested it; after showing that and letting him indulge in those dark desires, i allowed myself to write about yeonjun's descent into the side he was desperately trying to get away from; that toxic, possessive side that allowed gyu to hack into her computer for him to watch.

and ofc, once he descended into that side, there was no going back. i still kept that lovey persona yeonjun had in the beginning, but i also emphasized his possessiveness until ultimately, it became unhealthy and yeonjun became mentally unstable.

nowwwww, onto beomgyu! the thing about him was that he was an entire stranger to the mc, so first impressions were crucial. he's a very strong and complicated character that had his motives exposed almost right away. going back to my note* back at the top, i used the contrast between his actions and thoughts to really sell the whole "manipulation" thing-- because that's what manipulation is, essentially: controlling and misleading someone by acting and saying whatever is necessary.

so! we have his motives-- to get closer with the mc-- and his methods-- stalking, cameras, etc.-- so now we just blend this in with one final thing: how will he be perceived? how is he actually?

on the outside, he's a quiet, charming, nonchalant person, and the mc's shyness and attraction to him helps aid that idea-- but that's how he's perceived to the mc at least! the way he acts around yeonjun is the same, but with that added layer of him constantly pressuring and threatening him. (but subtly, which gives him the benefit of the doubt) by adding scenes where he plants ideas into yeonjun's mind and making it seem like it was the other's idea (like the tracker on the mc's phone, or him hacking into her computer for yj) or moments where he's acting all coy and charming with the mc (teasing her for calling him "gyu", the scene at the garden or wtv), it helps to really convince the audience that hey, this bitch has layers! and is kinda crazy...

but again, there's how he's perceived and what he's really like-- and that's a manipulative psychopath. so once he reached his motive, aka killed soobin and successfully took the mc to the cabin, i let his true colors show, but still kept that charming and intimidating personality around, just to keep it consistent. like, he's super doting and helps the mc recover, but in the end takes advantage of her vulnerability to establish a closer relationship-- he was the most eager to get to her no matter what, so he was the first to make an advance toward her (kissing her immediately after they arrived at the cabin)

in summary, here's what's really important to think of when wanting to characterize a character properly:

-how should this person be perceived? how are they actually?

-how do they interact with other characters? do they have different sides they show? how do they talk and act around certain people?

-what are their motives? what will they do to accomplish them?

remember that "filler" scenes are your best friend when wanting to really flesh out a character; it allows you to show the audience what they're like in even the most mundane situations, lets them see growth happen naturally and in a well paced manner, and makes them seem more real (ex. again, the rain scene with yj and mc!)

pleaaaaase let me know if you have any more questions!!!! i'd love to answer them, and ofc lmk if you need me to clear something up! i wish you sooo much luck with your story! (or any future ones) this genre seriously isnt for the weak.

[dykeyeonjun]

some beomgyu OLS thoughts..

ok first of all i felt CRAZY watching the clip of him leaving the new york radio show mid-interview bc moas were SCRUBBING that vid off the internet when it first happened. truly threatening ppl who were posting it. and now we have hybe including it in full HD 4k quality for all to see lskdfslfskfsl just funny that we have no idea what the company wants at any moment. and that they will exploit moments of weakness cause they know it'll get the ppl talking.

i didn't like that beomgyu's whole bit in the doc was 'im-sick-and-not-feeling-well' it sucked that this was the part of his "personality" we got to see cause beomgyu is so complex and goofy, i really wished we could've seen him in a more lighthearted light!!!!

but don't get me wrong, i am but a human being who loves drama, and yeah i was invested in his whole leaving-mid-concert, getting-out-of-the-car-to-walk and the general 'oh no is beomgyu gonna make it??' question that was floating around his parts.

did not like AT ALL that there was no conclusion?? like lmao suddenly we cut to him goofing around with them, and obv we don't need to know exactly what happened but the bullshit "moa helped me <3" is so eyeroll. but i do believe adrenaline can help a person, but i would've preferred a more serious conclusion of 'hey guys i am healthy and okay now :)"

also just in terms of dynamics.... obv we were seeing this in real time when the tour was happening but it is so crazy that for hanging out with each other during this tour, it was so very much BeomgyuSoobin and TaehyunYeonjun. (kai was floating vaguely between anyone), but those two duos in particular really shone through and it was interesting to see beomgyu go to soobin hyung and taehyun go to yeonjun hyung. does that make sense, idk.

the part where beomgyu leaves the van was wild, my friend and i were yelling at the tv "why aren't any of the other members helping him??? reassuring him??? giving him a hug???" and then beomgyu goes on his whole "i don't like when ppl make a big deal over me" spiel and we were like oh. ok. nvm. thought they were just MEN, incapable of sympathising with each other.

AND the way soobin was like 'i just acted like everything was normal, didn't do anything special to beomgyu' meanwhile beomgyu's over here like 'soobin hyung helped me out so much, i leaned on him, he took such good care of me, he made sure for the rest of the tour i was good' like...soobin...babe....you can admit you tried and made an effort to help someone you care about. it's okay.

anyways in conclusion i love mr beomgyu and his light brown (?) hair with the dark brows was such a good look i love his hair like that, and i love when he's laughing so hard and making jokes, and getting his bangs stuck in soobin's sunglasses.

[pianogav1n]

ooh thanks for the tag sam!! this is fun :D my answers under the cut also I truly don't know who I would tag for this so if you (the reader) want to answer these too go nuts :)

How did you get into reading/writing/drawing femslash? lesbianism fr though, as I've gotten older I've realized that even though I tend to enjoy female characters more, if I'm not intentional about it most of the fic I read ends up being centered around men because that's the content that people tend to create. it's important to me that I do better about consciously choosing to read about complex and nuanced female characters (this extends to books as well!!). In terms of femslash specifically, rather than just focusing on women: I'm honestly not that much of a shipper. I prefer to read and write things that are focused more on other plot than the romance itself, but it's still nice to see an aspect of myself reflected in the things I write. (that being said there are still plenty of ships that I enjoy reading and writing about!!) now that I've written all that I think I misunderstood the question. I got really invested in the ships listed in (2.) and I was like "I like these a normal amount" and sought out fic for them. I wasn't writing a lot in high school though unfortunately

What are your favorite femslash ships? korrasami, bubbline, and glinda/elphaba will always have my heart no matter what

Which F/F rarepair(s) do you wish got more love and why? patty/allison from kevin can fuck himself. I'm not sure it counts as a rarepair bc it's far and above the most popular ship from the show, but the show itself is relatively unknown. they begin as two women who at best dislike each other but they grow to care for the other enough to kill for her. the development is incredible. I love it. I also really like ran/sonoko and ran/sera (or all three of them!) from dcmk because they all have a well established and fleshed-out friendship and I think they should be more than that

What is your favorite thing about drawing/writing femslash? I loveeee exploring female characters and digging into their depths, or making them up if need be. and then with f/f you get at least two of them to think about :)

What is your greatest challenge when drawing/writing femslash? this issue extends beyond ship fic but I get embarrassed writing about characters expressing affection of any kind, verbal or physical. it feels really vulnerable and like I'll expose something about myself to the audience that I don't know I'm sharing (idk what!), which. yk. 🤷 unfortunately for me, unless one is writing a very specific dynamic, characters almost always will feel and express affection towards at least one other character in ship fic so it's a hurdle for sure.

Do you prefer reading/writing femslash one-shots or longfics? for reading, I like both! it mostly depends on what my attention span is in the moment. I would love to write a longfic one day but as of yet I've only written oneshots

What is your favorite/most underrated F/F fic you have written or F/F thing you've drawn? definitely not underrated because this is my most popular fic, but I had a lot of fun writing my falin/marcille hair braiding fic :) I don't think I got the characterization quite right but that's okay! room to grow still I think, honestly, I'm pretty pleased with the reception that my f/f works have gotten. not that I don't love attention but they seem to have reached the people who would enjoy them and that's plenty

What sort of background pairings do you like to see in fics with F/F as a main pairing? background pairings don't really matter to me that much. they're not something that pop out to me unless they're a ship I don't like lmao. but I like when the background characters are living happy wlw lives

What are your favorite tropes in F/F fics? I love when characters would do terrible things just to see the other one smile. good shit. devotion and all the awfulness that comes with it

What tone or vibes do you prefer in femslash fics? Crack? Angst? Fluff? A bit of everything? I never grew out of my teenage emo phase. I love angst and complicated emotions. but also happy endings for the characters

Are there any specific fics or other forms of media that inspired you to write/draw for a specific ship? none are coming to mind, but everything I've ever written is an attempt to capture the essence of the works I've read and enjoyed, so surely there's some ship inspiration in there too

Are there any specific F/F WIPs you are working on or ideas you’ve cooked up that you’re especially excited about? ideas and I are taking a break from each other right now unfortunately. hopefully it doesn't last long

Any fic recs? I haven't gone here in a long time but this chloe ml character study is truly excellent and I still think about it

femslash writer/artist interview

I’m trying to get back into interviewer mode for one of my jobs and classes, so I decided to make a (hopefully) fun little game. Feel free to reblog, tag ppl and answer as few or as many of the questions as u want. And feel free to tailor the questions to make them more applicable to u

How did you get into reading/writing/drawing femslash?

What are your favorite femslash ships?

Which F/F rarepair(s) do you wish got more love and why?

What is your favorite thing about drawing/writing femslash?

What is your greatest challenge when drawing/writing femslash?

Do you prefer reading/writing femslash one-shots or longfics?

What is your favorite/most underrated F/F fic you have written or F/F thing you've drawn?

What sort of background pairings do you like to see in fics with F/F as a main pairing?

What are your favorite tropes in F/F fics?

What tone or vibes do you prefer in femslash fics? Crack? Angst? Fluff? A bit of everything?

Are there any specific fics or other forms of media that inspired you to write/draw for a specific ship?

Are there any specific F/F WIPs you are working on or ideas you’ve cooked up that you’re especially excited about?

Any fic recs?

@pianogav1n @jajalala @vriska @linkyychan @thisisej

[autisticandroids]

Okay so this was a while back but im preety sure you had mentioned an au of yours where dean is a serial killer and cas successfully stalks him but i don't think you talked about it more than that and i just really want to hear a bit more bc that idea sounds so tastefully fucked up

okay so. weeks later i finally end up answering this ask. it inspired this post btw. anyway spn is a show that's like. all about justifications, as i said in the post inspired by this ask. it's about having no choice and doing what you have to do. and like there is the phantasy embedded in it, a phantasy that is both indulged and punished. but most importantly it's justified. the monsters are super strong to show how brave our heroes are for fighting them, the main characters let out great wails of grief every time their lady loves are violently ripped from them (even though now they are free to do whatever they want), the narrative twists to show our heroes as correct whatever they do. the fantasy (of being allowed to enact violence, of being free from feminine "control," of being right) comes first. the material construction of the universe of supernatural comes afterward. whatever the fantasy is, the universe of supernatural will provide material conditions to justify its acting-out.

and what this means is that our protagonists, dean in particular, are constantly doing just horrific things, which in any other circumstance would be unconscionable. but the universe of supernatural provides justification for these acts. the point of my serial killer au which i think about so so so much is to ask the question: what if these justifications melted out from under their feet? what if dean was left holding nothing but a lie and the weight of everything he's done?

therefore, the premise of my au is such (under the cut because this baby is long):

john and mary winchester, in the mid seventies, joined a doomsday cult known as the men of letters. the men of letters were rather unusual for a doomsday cult, in that they believed that the apocalypse could be prevented by human behavior. this started as correct living, correct worship, yadda yadda, the kind of behavior and thought control that cults are known for, but with the justification of: if you don't do this, the world will end. eventually, this escalated to human sacrifice. the men of letters managed to untraceably kill two homeless people in the late seventies. but they eventually fell apart. however, a month after john and mary left the men of letters (mostly john's choice, mary still believed), mary died in a house fire. john took it as a sign from god that actually, the men of letters were right, and the world would end unless john himself did something about it. so he took some of the (intensely numerological) theology of the men of letters. and he worked out his own formula. and he applied it to the yellow pages. and started ritualistically killed people to prevent the apocalypse, with his two sons in the back of the car.

now, obviously, this is some kind of grief induced temporary madness on john's part, shaped by the mental abuse he suffered in the men of letters. but the thing is, once you've killed a couple of people to prevent the apocalypse. well. there's this thing called the sunk costs fallacy. john wasn't gonna question his own beliefs after that.

and he raised his boys to believe it, too, or at least he raised dean to. they didn't tell sam what they did until he was twelve, and sam didn't buy it, tried to call the cops on them several times but in the end, they always prevented him. eventually sam ran off to stanford, where he now lives under a cloud of guilt that he's too loyal to his family to rat them out.

john died a few years back of a heart attack, but dean is convinced it's because he messed up a ritual two weeks before it happened, so it pushed him further into this belief system.

dean's killings (and john's before him) are ritualistic and distinctive, obviously the same killer each time. but they happen anywhere in the united states, seemingly at random, there are inconsistent amounts of time between each one (sometimes as short as days, sometimes as long as years), and there is no particular victim profile. obviously, since our killers are following an arcane mathematical formula to make their choices for them, but the police don't know that.

castiel novak is an unemployed shut-in with a small inheritance which he's living off of, a cryptography degree, and an obsession with all things morbid. he spends most of his time on the reddit true crime forums, playing amateur sleuth. by complete chance, he happens to recognize one of the symbols frequently used in corpse displays by the so-called sioux falls satanic slaughterer (so named because the first time three of his victims were in the same part of the country, it so happened that they were all in sioux falls, south dakota. this was in the late eighties.) as being mostly only used by a little known cult group called the men of letters, which dissolved in the mid eighties.

he only notices this because, as a teen, he had a special interest in cults and fringe religious groups. the men of letters weren't a particularly notable or well known phenomenon; they were small, and a lot like every other cult that formed during the seventies cult boom. (no outsider ever heard about the human sacrifice; there were rumors, of course, but they were garbled, sensationalized, and mixed up with satanic panic fodder.)

(the men of letters' two sacrifices were nothing particularly romantic or fantastical. they first lured panhandler josie sands back to their compound with promises of food and a warm bed when she admitted she couldn't get a bed at a shelter, and was thinking of getting caught shoplifting just so she could be under a roof in the county jail. the men of letters' leader, a man who took on the name alistair, forced his inner circle to dress in the ceremonial black robes he had given them when he initiated them into his nearest and dearest, and which his wife had sewn out of old bed sheets and dyed black with home made oak gall dye. these robes still left black smudges on the wearer's skin occasionally if they sweated too much. josie was laid, bound, on the altar, a slapdash thing constructed over the course of two days from scrap plywood and a couple of milk crates. a rich red tablecloth purchased at macy's for $3.99 hid its ugliness and gave it grandeur. alistair attempted to kill the struggling miss sands by bringing a sharpened kitchen knife down on her bosom and piercing her heart, but, having never killed a human or even slaughtered an animal before, was unaware of the problem presented by the human ribcage. after rather ineffectually poking at the area beneath sands' bosom with his knife while she shrieked in pain and terror for about ninety seconds, alistair tried a different tack, and slit her throat, which worked just fine, and she bled out quite nicely. the second and final victim of the men of letters was a local vagrant named larry ganem, an older gentleman who walked with a limp. he was lured back to the compound in approximately the same manner as sands, but instead of being bound, he was fed stew laced with sleeping pills. even if alistair hadn't slit his throat, he wouldn't have woken up. it's actually arguable whether he was still alive at time of sacrifice; mary winchester (eight months into her first pregnancy), who, as a member of the inner circle, was in attendance, actually tried to take ganem's pulse as he lay on the altar (now covered by a different tablecloth; the red one had turned stiff with sands' blood and been subsequently burned) and found nothing, so it is entirely possibly only sands' death can be directly laid at alistair's feet, and ganem's is the fault of mrs. ellen harvelle, who prepared the laced stew. regardless, these two deaths are lessons in the nature of human evil: it is very rarely skilled, suave, or smooth. it's often slapdash, half-hearted, and just plain incompetent. but that makes it no less grisly. alistair may have begun to drink his own kool-aid, as it were, and escalated this far out of genuine belief that the apocalypse was coming and it was up to him to stop it, but it is far more likely that he sensed the imminent collapse of his little empire, and wanted to bind his subjects to him through the horrors of shared guilt, considering two lives a small price to pay for the continued loyalty of his inner circle. and the tactic worked: the men of letters didn't start to collapse in earnest until almost four years later. perhaps if alistair had continued the killings, the men of letters could have lasted for far longer, maybe even up until the present day. but it seems that alistair, a psychiatrist by training and unused to violence, simply didn't have the stomach for it. unlike, say, john winchester, who before his time with the men of letters had done a two year tour in vietnam, during which he had killed three living, thinking human beings with the american government's go-ahead.)

anyway. castiel is the first person, ever, to make the connection between the men of letters and the sioux falls satanic slaughterer. and once that connection is made, castiel begins to research the men of letters far more in-depth. and he notices something: the theology of the men of letters was intensely numerological, filled with patterns, significant numbers, and even spiritual equations.

castiel thinks of the seemingly random selection of the slaughterer's victims, and has an epiphany.

he cracks all his fingers, and gets coding.

six months. it takes castiel six months to discover an equation that could fit the slaughterer's pattern. it's complex, but also clearly based on several of the men of letters' holy numbers, and accounts for every single one of the killings. it also suggests that there should have been two or three more deaths scattered across the years, but more than likely those did happen, it's just that they weren't reported as part of the slaughterer's portfolio.

but much more importantly, castiel's model can also make predictions. there will be two killings, fifteen days apart, in a city seven hours' drive away, six weeks from now.

so castiel waits. and he books a hotel room. and two months later, he's waiting outside 217 oak street when a shadowy figure climbs up a tree and lets itself into the upstairs window.

dean winchester is feeling particularly all alone in the world when he breaks into maisey banks' home (217 oak street). his father has been dead for half a decade, and he hasn't spoken to his baby brother for twice that. it's not like this whole grizzly saving the world business makes him a lot of friends. so once he's done killing maisey (which is easy, she was ninety three and dying of cancer anyway. she doesn't even wake up when he slits her throat) and arranging her corpse in the appropriate manner, with prayers and sigils, he turns around. and sees a man standing behind him.

smiling slightly.

as he watches dean gut this old woman.

dean freezes.

the man takes a step forward.

"you're very attractive for a serial killer who's been operating since the eighties."

dean is silent.

"family business, is it?"

silence continues.

"i'm not here to report you to police. i'm just here to see if my algorithm worked right."

and dean finally breaks his silence: "what the hell is wrong with you?"

what's fun here is that dean knows (or rather "knows") that he isn't a serial killer. so he finds what cas is doing, this amoral serial killer stormchasing, morally repugnant. because cas has no way of knowing he isn't a regular serial killer.

there's also the fact that that cas proceeds to flirt with him. aggressively. and follows him back to his motel.

but the thing is that dean is all alone in the world. and as cas continues trailing him around, he starts getting, well, flattered. and feeling a little bit less alone.

it doesn't take very long before they fall into bed. even if cas is an amoral stalker with a fetish for what dean considers a distasteful yet necessary vocation.

so. they fall into bed. they fall in love. they make a little life together, in dean's big sexy car. dean tries to explain to cas that he's saving the world. that these people's lives are a necessary price to pay. and cas seems to listen.

of course, castiel doesn't believe a word of it. but he's found that he likes dean. really likes him. and he realizes that the collapse of dean's belief system would destroy him.

so he sets about becoming as complicit in it as possible.

even to the extent where, when dean is hit by a car and ends up into the hospital a day before one killing is meant to take place, castiel agrees to take on the job. (he doesn't actually kill anyone, obviously. but he does use his extensive skill with computers to create three fake newspaper articles which make it look like he has.)

but five years later, something goes wrong. really, really wrong. dean miscalculates the formula. and by the time he checks his work, the actual date of the next kill, as demanded by the formula, has passed. in fact, so have three others. and the world didn't end.

dean collapses. he hyperventilates. all those people. all those people. for no reason. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people.

cas seems totally unfazed. dean stares at him in shock. but cas just takes dean in his arms, and whispers in his ear: "oh, dean, i never believed in the equation. i love you no matter what you've done."

and dean buries his face in cas' chest.

[taeyamayang]

Hi I’m Nish, I wanted to join the 365 days matchup event. I like Tokyo revengers. Thanks so much!

Personality: INTJ 3w4. I tend to act very arrogantand cocky as a defense mechanism. I don't like being vulnerable with people because it's not their job to worry about my problems. I come across very calm and collected and people rely on me for advice but can't let myself depend on anyone. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that. Under everything I think I'm very kind but feel like I burden people with my presence a lot of times. I have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards. I look intimidating but I'm actually just socially awkward and suck at small talk (because it seems kind of pointless to me). My love language is giving gifts but I'm not sure what my love language to receive is.

Hobbies/Likes: I love fashion and I've been a model since I was 14, I used to do pageants as a kid, I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. I can't play any instruments but I can sing and do digital music production. (I've always wanted to be in a rock band) I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline (I took an AP art class back in high school and didn't draw for 2 years after it cuz I hated being forced to draw. It's like when something you like becomes a chore) I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading.

Dislikes: Misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only for them to listen when another man repeats the same thing l've been saying since the beginning), big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can't keep up with me (I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions. People who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better than me for not wanting to break rules to get what they want. People who can't take responsibility for what they do (Everything I do is on purpose so even if it's a bad thing I'll admit to it because whatever happens as a result is no one's problem but my own). Although I will say there's sometimes an exception to these things depending on the person and situation.

My main highest kins are Mikey (TR), Ran Haitani (TR) Vanitas (VNC), Kaguya Shinimiya (Love is war), xiao(Genshin), Yurio (yuri on ice), Vil (twisted wonderland). I’ll send selfies through DM.

alright, first of all when i read your info i had already have two men to match you up with and when i saw you selfie i got sooo excited cos i think i matched you up right !!

btw thanks for joining the event. i hope you enjoy this ♡

draken: draken is the type not to force you into something you're uncomfortable with. i'd say between the two of you he'd be more vocal about his emotions so i think he will balance the you of out but at the same i don't think he's the type to crave/ask for attention or affection which is good bc from what i picked from what you said, sometimes you come across as cold. also, what's good about him is he views individuals through their strengths which is a good match for you bc from the things you told me i assumed that you wouldn't want to be treated as a soft person which a partner has to constantly look out for and that's how draken is. he trusts in the abilities of the people close to him loke how he trusts mikey and takemichi. physically, damn you both look hot together and i'm talking about (sorry to compare you both to dogs, i tried ok) model poodles walking down a runway. you both look untouchable and i would definitely use you both as a shield when someone comes up to me to pick a fight. overall, i do think you're a good match for draken if you want someone who can understand you without the burden of explaining all the time and if you want a partner who supports with whatever you pursue bc he trusts you.

ran haitani: ok, first off. i had ran in my mind before i finished reading your entry and boy i was shock when you kin him. right off the bat you give me haitani vibes so why not put their last name name after your first name, right? kidding, but srsly tho i think the two of you will be a match bc you two are alike. who says opposites attract when you can date a person who understands you completely which saves you both the burden of conflicts? i bet ran is the type to say things that may seem like it's out of proportion but pulls it off easily (hot). i can see you both debating on what is morally right and wrong but in the end you both agree on the gray area, that in some situations morals depends on context. i think you both will have a good and healthy relationship and probably the type of comments you get when people ask who you are dating will be like, "it makes sense", "i can totally see it", or "no doubts they ended up together."

ㅡbtw you both have the eldest child vibes lmao

m.list | tr.list | 365 DAYS EVENT

[plague-of-insomnia]

Lol I *hate* that post. Also like, most people don't read classic lit, and classic lit in general can be critized as being made up of primarily cis, white, straight men. Women and queer authors often have their works shuffled into YA. And fanfic?? Primarily made of of women and queer folk (and queer women). Which... is often what the reasoning is why it's targeted.

Also, children's lit and YA lit are some of the best works I've read. They deal with harsh topics. One of my favorite books from when I was a kid is Gossamer by Lois Lowry. My class read it in fifth grade (so like, 10 year olds) and it dealt heavily with abuse and coping with and recovery from trauma. The book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson also deals with very dark themes, and it's YA. (Also both very good books and I highly recommend each. Look up the trigger lists for them. When I say they deal with dark subjects, I mean it.)

Fanfic and YA are such broad categories, and to dismiss them shows a clear lack of true understanding of literature. Typically, when people say they dislike them, it boils down to bias against queer people, women, and romance as a genre (which was spear headed by, you guessed it, queers and women).

Also, there's nothing wrong with liking tropes. I like tropes. Everyone likes specific tropes. We've all just been copying off of one another since the beginning of art creation, and we will continue to do so. Just let people enjoy things ffs. Reading is for fun and creating fanfic is for fun. Just because I read or write something doesn't mean I want to base a master's thesis around it

[In reference to this post: TL;DR - people who only read fan fic/YA aren’t capable of understanding/analyzing complex themes bc they’re obsessed with tropes]

Oof! @gabedemon, this is all a really good point/addition to why that OP’s point was 😬.

Now I’ll confess I do not personally like YA as a general rule, largely for two reasons: 1) I don’t like reading about teens and 2) for a while EVERYONE and their grandparents were writing YA to try and hitch onto the bandwagon of popular novels turned films like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games, et al, and so a lot of people were writing stuff just to try and ride a trend rather than bc that’s what they should have been writing/what their story actually wanted.

However, you are 100% right that there are some amazing novels that fall into that broad category and are worth reading whether you’re 15 or 95 (or somewhere in between).

One of the best novels I read before my headache began (and I stopped reading novels 😞) dealt with some really heavy issues (it was focused on suicide) — and it managed to delve into complex mental illness (like BPD, borderline personality disorder) and suicidality in a really realistic and complex way while not glorifying it in anyway. I highly recommend it, if the topic isn’t too tough for you (general you) to deal with, Suicide Watch:

I definitely think you see queer authors and their stories forced into niche publishers or fan fic (I don’t know if I would say only YA here as I’ve read a ton of non-YA queer published fiction).

I think you have some people who are just “snobs” who think only “serious” “literary fiction” is worth reading and has any depth. Those people have probably never read a really good YA novel (I also recommend Freaks Like Us for one that tackles mental illness in a insightful way) or any fan fic at all. (Or if they have, it’s something like My Immortal.) So they make the assumption that all fan fic must be meaningless drivel (as if there isn’t plenty of that in mainstream, published adult fiction or other media for that matter).

They also forget that people read for different reasons, and like you said, not everyone wants to read something to write a master’s thesis on.

Some “pulp” stories, like the Sherlock Holmes tales, have survived and proliferated across time and languages because people find them entertaining and can identify with the characters in some way. (Ofc some people like to analyze those stories but not everyone does; in fact, most people don’t, and that’s perfectly fine.)

So I think you have the snobs who really aren’t looking at it from a “I must crush queer writers,” though ofc you’re absolutely right about the fact that bias still exists among readers and publishers.

As I mentioned before, trying to publish a novel with a queer MC or romance through one of the big ones is really difficult for the same reason we see plenty of queer baiting in film but very few actual queer stories. Publishers are afraid that those stories won’t sell, will offend and affect sales of other books, etc, etc,

So we see the proliferation of queer stories and writers in fan fic where people are free to write whatever they want. And that’s really wonderful, imo. (But I also hope we finally see more mainstream queer stories and authors/creators as well.)

And as for tropes, honestly that was the dumbest part of the whole argument. Tropes have always and will always exist bc there’s just some things we humans love to see over and over and over again. I’m sure you could label just about any “high” art with a trope of some kind. Just bc something can be distilled into tropes doesn’t mean that’s all it is. I mean, writing programs always talk about things like “the hero’s journey” or whatever and that’s a kind of trope, too.

Anyway, I’m gonna stop before I keep rambling 😅 but yeah I think you make some really great points/additions, and I absolutely think that “all generalizations are bad” 😅😂 and trying to make a sweeping assessment like that is ridiculous.

Kind of reminds me of how much scorn “genre” fiction has gotten (think mystery novels or romance novels or sci fi, etc) because it’s “shallow.” But that has begun to change, and I do think we’re slowly seeing the attitude toward fan fic changing…. Now, if only we could chuck all the antis and their puritanical BS out the door….