#just bc i was into music box composing these days

[nanamis-princess]

hiya! i never see people write any chubby reader fanfiction for doctor who ;0; which is so sad bc it’s my comfort show.

would you be able to write an 11th doctor x chubby reader fic where he comforts reader struggling with their body image, maybe after going on an adventure like a ball or a party where there were a bunch of pretty women in pretty dresses, making her feel unsure if she was right for the doctor? ahh idk…anything hurt/comfort with 11 reassuring reader would be nice.

I will always choose you

Synopsis: the doctor & reader are invited to a ball! It doesn’t go as planned.

Genre: hurt/comfort

T/w: chubby reader has issues with comparing, mean girls:/, the doctor and reader are in establish relationship & an L bomb at the end.

11th doctor X chubby fem reader A/N: thank you so much for requesting! This is my first doctor who work! I hope this is to your liking💗 also for some reason it wouldn’t let me link the song:( sorry! But it’s on YouTube & Spotify!

After a very eventful day of practically saving the planet once more with the doctor you were both invited to an evening of dancing accompanied with classical music by Miss Montague and her boss. She even offered to helped you pick out a beautiful Victorian dress. With her help you both found one perfectly fitting for you with your color of choice and measurements. The color of the dress highlighted your skin and the corset hugged your body just right, you looked breathtaking. “Oh I think I have something that would compliment your dress” she suggests cheerfully as she opens a drawer to her vanity pulling out a small dark blue box. She opens it up showing you dangling sliver earrings covered with small diamonds and a small pearl at the ends of them, she helps you put them on. Taking a step back she looked at you through the mirror “you look wonderful!” She expresses with a genuine smile.

Arriving with Miss Montague you both stand watching in awe from the sidelines while people dance beautifully, It’s not everyday you get to attend a Victorian ball along with being submerged in the early culture. “I’ll be right back, there is someone I’d like to say hello to” miss Montague says before leaving your side momentarily. Admiring the architecture of the ballroom and how beautiful the décor is you find yourself people watching again.

The song just coming to an end when you take note of how petite all the other women are, the thoughts of comparing yourself to them sneak up on you. Taking a deep breath your hands fall on the fluffy textures of your dress as you try desperately to just think of something else. The familiar cheery tone you love so much rings through your ears, you turn to face him. “there you are! I was wondering where you’d went off to” the doctor says with a smile on his face.His eyes have a twinkle in them as he takes a moment to cherish the sight of you. “You look delightful!” The doctor exclaims accompanying another smile. To an outsider looking in anyone could tell his attraction towards you, sometimes everyone but you.

The music starting back up, the composers being to Gramophone Waltz by Eugen Doga “May I have this dance?” The doctor asks holding out his hand for you to take. You laugh lightly following a nod “you may, doctor” you say taking his hand. He guides you both to the dance floor, his right hand makes his way to the side of your back while his left hand interwinds your fingers. “Just follow my lead, you’ll catch on fast” he says gliding you both as the song opens.

Being with you makes time feel so enjoyable for him, like he can breath for a moment before jumping to the next problem. Being with you in the moment is something he’s longed for a very long time. Gliding you both forward and backward he smiles, making note that the song is going to pick up.

“I think you look marvelous tonight y/n, so beautiful and so breathtaking.” He says looking into your eyes. A bright smile across the doctors face as you don’t have time to answer while he spins you both around to the music falling in sync with the others around you, your dress flowing beautifully at your feet. Slowing you both down as the song is coming to an end seeing your genuine smile makes him feel as if both his hearts skip beats. Making him laugh slightly with a smile on his face, yet again he glides you both off the dance floor and near the refreshments. “I just thought of something I’d like to give you, stay here.” He runs his hands through his hair for a moment before disappearing into the crowd. “Alright” you laugh at his suddenness yet still trying to process what he said on the dance floor.

Deciding it was time for a drink you picked one up for yourself overhearing laughter. Looking over your shoulder slightly you see three women looking in your direction, you turn back to your drink picking it up. “I don’t see how a man like himself is attracted to someone like that” a blonde women with a blue dress says. “I could show him a much better time than she could” you heard another one of them snicker following another laugh.

Trying your best to ignore them you took a sip of your drink a remaining comment you couldn’t hear was followed by whispers and laughter. You couldn’t take it anymore, you set your glass down and made your way to the exit. Tears slowly creeping up on you as you walked through the halls back to the familiar alleyway. Looking at the TARDIS somewhat relieved you opened the blue box as you cry softly, pushing your dress inside with you. you hear rummaging around the hall of the TARDIS. “Darling is that you? I’ll be right there just looking for..” a slight crash is heard from a room who knows where. “Something” he shouts from the room he’s in.

You take a seat with tears still in your eyes but a slight chuckle slips from you at his clumsiness. Stumbling back out into the main part of the TARDIS with a tiny black box and a fez in hand the doctor looks at you. His hearts ached when he seen the tears in your eyes, he dropped his fez and slipping the black box into his coat pocket made his way to you. Standing over you, he crouches down “What’s wrong?” He says with genuine concern in his voice. He cups your cheeks as he wipes away the tears flowing down your face, you aren’t even able to get a word out but once you calm down a little you speak. “There was” you say weakly for a moment before pausing, fidgeting with your fingers as you try to get it out. The doctor still cupping your ace gently, he waits for you to speak again. You collect yourself and try again, “there was a group of women commenting about me after you left, they laughed at me and said you’d be better with someone else.” you manage to get out weakly. “Sometimes I think that myself, that you could be with someone better” you trail off with slight tears in your eyes again.

A mixture of sadness and slight anger washed over the doctor as he watched you explain, his eyes scan over your face. “I apologize that they treated you in such a distasteful way, you don’t deserve that” he makes eye contact with you. “I truly mean this when I say you are absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking. Everything about you is beautiful, your whole being. I don’t wish to be with anyone else but you, I think you are perfect just as you are and I mean that with my whole being.” He expresses while still cupping your cheeks and making eye contact with you. His hands find yours in your lap and he holds them “I’ve traveled throughout this universe, met thousands of beings and I would still choose you. A million times I’d choose to be with you and have your right by my side.” He expresses genuinely, releasing your hands he stands ups leaving you without words for a moment. You stand up looking into his eyes as he looks in yours, you give him a hug is all you have in you. He wraps his arms around you as you rest your head on him, being able to hear his two hearts you smile to yourself. He places a kiss on your temple “I love you doctor” you say softly. “I love you too, very much” he responds. You both remain like this for a moment before the doctor pulls away slightly, “this is what I wanted to give you” he says, pulling out the small black box. He hands it to you and watch’s your features when you open the box.

Looking at the necklace in the small box you smile, then smile at him. It’s a silver necklace with a smallish pendant, a beautiful oval shape ingrained with other detailing. “Thank you doctor, this is so thoughtful” you express pulling it out of the box, he motions that he’ll help you put it on. With a smile you turn around and move your hair as he puts it on you. “There all done” he says as you face him again and leans in to kiss your cheek.

“Come come, dance with me” he takes your hand and pulls you into him once more, you laugh a little at his eagerness. The doctors places a on your hip and interwinds your fingers again, swaying you both back and forth around the main circle of the TARDIS. The doctor slowing you both down after a moment of dancing his face a little closer to yours. “I will always choose you” he states looking into your eyes before softly kissing you.

[clairedaring]

you mention that aelm is in your list of actors who are meticulous in their craft, can you share that list of actors of yours

hi nonnie :D

DISCLAIMER: this is just a very subjective list of young actors (young: born after 1990) who i think have really diverse and impressive performances. while not all my ult actors jj krissanapoom, up poompat... are present, i don't think of them any less. just that these are people who i've been most impressed with their transformation from one role to another.

1. NONKUL CHANON

I really will praise Nonkul every chance I get. I do think Nonkul is an actor who is constantly trying to hone his craft regardless of his experiece. I also like that as a member of THACCA, Nonkul is really active in initiating capacity building activities with his working group for the industry like these TOSAA roundtable discussions.

2. TOR THANAPOB

I love how much Tor relentlessly work with the thought of he could retire anytime soon. I remember earlier this year tracking to see which series has more filming queues (Nonkul's Mouse or Tor's My Cherie Amour because both series were over 70 filming queues). And yet immediately after MCA, Tor jumped directly into filming Spare Me Your Mercy so we could get it in November 28 (NEXT WEEK). He's just so hardworking and I love that these days he's been slowly picking his scripts so that his repertoire can be diversified (so he doesn't get boxed as the "actor who's only good at dramatic/intense roles). My Cherie Amour really proved that he's perfect for romcoms and I sincerely hope its successful performance has given him more confidence to do more comedy works in the future.

3. ICE NATARA

I've found in making this list and the actors whose performances have astounded me are often the ones who don't have too many projects at all, or they really take time to pick and choose their scripts. Even though he got his first start as a model, Ice has really proven himself through performances in GDH film One For The Road or Netflix TH series Delete. I seriously got a huge whiplash when I watched Delete because I couldn't believe the same actor playing that bulky villainous plantation owner is the same cancer-battling protagonist in One For The Road.

like allow me to just add one more gif because him filming Delete right after One For The Road is exactly the reason why Ice Natara totally deserved both the Suphannahong Award and Nataraj Award for these roles of his.

4. PEACH PACHARA

Born into the fourth richest family in Thailand, you'd think Peach Pachara wouldn't survive the nepo baby actor allegations. Oh but he did, not only did he survive, I think he's succesfully made a career for himself in doing everything that he loves like running his own snack business (anyone has tried his Potato Corner yet?), composing music scores for his series, and starring in whatever series he wants at his own pace.

Unlike the other actors on this list, I think Peach particularly excels at his "bad boy, asshole, occasionally with a heart of gold" character typecasting that I actually don't mind most of his roles being in the same color. Peach always gets the best characterisations for his roles so even if its a nonsensical comedy like Bat War or angsty lakorn like The Root or heist drama like The Believers, I can always trust Peach to deliver fully and exactly what his character promises in the first place.

just leaving these here bc he's such a sassy little rich dude. i adore him.

5. JAMES TEERADON

Love that James has been fully investing in his culinary journey for the past 3 years but he never really leaves us and sometimes come back with an interesting script. This year alone, we finally got James back in heist drama The Believers and time-loop romcom Love Stuck. Similar to others on this list, James really takes time choosing his acting projects but one thing I know is that he will never settle for an uninspiring script.

6. AELM BHUMIBHAT

My first introduction to Aelm was through 2019 GDH film Happy New Year. But it was actually his performance in Doi Boy that made me deep dive into his filmography and I'm just completely in awed of his acting methodologies and his chosen projects. Not always something digestable, often very niche and indie but Aelm is always killing his roles, an absolute scene stealer. His conversation with Pat Chayanit solidified him on this list for me. I can't wait for more fans to discover him through Spare Me Your Mercy. Personally though, I'm actually more excited to watch him play a cult-ish villain? in the Buddhist themed episode of Tomorrow and I (coming to Netflix this December 4)

7. UD AWAT

i don't think i need to say anything about ud awat. his series of posts (1, 2, 3, his goodbye post devastated me) talking about his transformation into Sorn for Doi Boy is testament to his love for acting. i'm actually forever grateful that Doi Boy came at a time when ud was considering leaving acting altogether because it truly "reignited [his] love for acting" for him and that passion in the film is just so palpable.

8. FILM THANAPAT

no words. i love this man. film is truly one31's most reliable leading actor. end of story. i don't think one31 will ever let him go but i do hope one day netflix thailand will score him for an original series because i sincerely believe he can bring even more to the table with a series that isn't written within the constraints of one31 script team.

honorable mentions: GEE SUTTHIRAK

I'd say Gee was my favorite discovery this year because I binged so much of his works like Sweet Sensory, Terror Tuesday: Extreme, The Cheery Lee Village Headman, The Betrayal, My Boo. My only qualm is that I don't think his other Workpoint lakorns (6th Sense Agency, The Scent of Hers) are that good but like they seem to love keeping Gee busy. Waiting to see Gee in Tomorrow and I, @ netflix thailand pls keep this man busy I beg

SKY WONGRAVEE

this cockroach scene alone earns him a spot on this list. ngl i would love to see him back in gdh led productions but i don't think we can get that back soon :')

BRIGHT RAPHEEPHONG

i feel kinda robbed that bright worked so hard this year, filming THREE projects consectively (two series and a film) but only the film came out. ch3 refuses to air his shelved lakorn as well. i have no hope for monomax in making his series available with engsub but i will definitely do my best in giffing his series with linn mashannoad and ken phupoom next year.

POOM PHURIPAN

the reason i hesitate adding poom in here is because i feel like his acting approach is still very instinctive and he hasn't really had many chances to develop his own methodologies to approaching his characters because his roles at ch8 were pretty much the same every time. it's really obvious that he's got potential and he just needs the right script, producers and director to bring out the acting skills he's gained from starring in dramatic lakorns. regardless, he obviously goes on the list because he's given my favorite acting performance of the year. period.

final note: you can very much tell that i'm biased because more than half of this list is gdh/nadao actors, but thank you for sending this ask nonetheless so i can share my love for these actors.

[pharaohbean]

thank you everyone for the mafutoya food, much obliged, def cheered me up (my ask box is still open to more…..)

in return, my own mafutoya hcs/fic ideas/just general spouting:

composer buddies. i will die on this hill. theyre an online duo like 25ji and they make music together and their groups have NO idea (bonus points if someone(s) from their group also follow them). i will die on this hill. its hilarious.

on that note, mafuyu taught toya a bit of how to compose— i would imagine she helped him refine how to put emotions into song (since she did that quite well as we know)

^ also, they’re study buddies. def both practice their english on one another, but since madus an honors kids and toyas just Smart they work well together. mafu also helps come up with ways to help toya tutor akian bc she already does that with rando classmates

more canon divergencey, but their parents know each other (not in the same fashion as the aoyagi-tenma friendship…. asahinas more just keeping up terms to look good bc. aoyagis.) so the kids knew each other. they weren’t super close but they’d recognize one another

mafuyu running away at the end of mafu4 definitely gave toya food for thought on his own running away (that he would come back to tackle in toya4 sorry bud)

toyas the extroverted of the two technically. sure, mafu’s mask is even more extroverted, but generally toyas the upbeat one between them.

they like to just take the train around tokyo for the sights. they did it less as toya prepared for rad blast, but mafuyu def took him on a celebratory train ride at some point in congrats

mafuyu does not like most of vbs’ music (since akian wrote the music until roughly toya3, and even then i think they still did the brunt). mafuyu does like toya’s songs, tho

^ followup, toya follows 25ji. hes 50/50 most of the time (partially tastes partially instruments sometimes) but he supports them by leaving ridiculously long comments breaking everything down. hes become a well-known member of the 25ji fandom, accidentally.

more serious hc: toya does not, in any shape or form, “save” mafu. if they knew each other earlier, however, he definitely kept her from going over the edge. i can talk a LOT about this but thats a whole other rabbit trail.

mafuyu gets plushies from toya from the arcade. its usually rabbits, although the occasional cat or bird makes its way into the pile. there is an ever-growing pile of fluff in the corner of mafu’s room at kana’s. honami does Not Know what to do with it.

if they had a sekai together, it would be mafuyu’s fragment sekai but with like. the equivalent of a starbucks stuck in it. like the starbucks at a target or barnes&noble or whatever. mikuluka are their only vs, although they might get a len or kaito later on.

toya goes to miya to pick up kohane when an cant, but honestly goes to talk to mafu mostly. i mean hes there for kohane but sometimes koha has committee and so toya will just,,, talk with mafuyu. the rest of the school is VERY confused as to why this random kamikou guy is talking with asahina mafuyu, and then saki barrels him over one day screaming “OTOUTO!!!” at the top of her lungs and theyre like “oh hes a tenma okay”

this goes without saying but mafu doesnt mask around toya. she did for a bit, but toya saw through it bc it was annoyingly similar to akito’s own. toya Does Not like the mask. in any situation. he willingly chooses to extrovert most of the time than let mafu mask. its partially for his own sanity.

mafu teaches him to cook, and toya reteaches her tastes (partially stolen from that one akitoyamafu fic on ao3 love you)

mizuki constantly tells stories about them to the other, and they always listen with rapt attention. mizu thinks its cute in a way, and is also happy to have their full attention for once (not like toya wouldnt but)

toyamafu have no fashion sense. they just kinda throw something together thats vaguely coherent. akito was forced to band with mizuki to get them to actually match their clothes right.

mafuyu is more athletic than toya (not a high bar tbh) but toyas much more limber and flexible

[roseyposeylemonsquozey]

sunshine

non idol!shotaro x fem!reader • fluff • best friends to lovers

warnings: this is my first fic so brace yourself, just some kisses.

a/n: feel free to send feedback, I procrastinated this a lot bc tumblr decided to not let me save like half of it and I had to restart 😭. I love sunshine by skz so was inspired to write about this sunny boy after listening.

osaki shotaro has been your best friend since your mothers introduced you two in diapers. he's still your happy, bright companion from toddlerhood. your taro, supplying your favourite snacks from the times of juice boxes to post-dancing ramen. the one constant rock in your life. the two of you have a set of clothes at each other's houses, buy things that remind you of one another, compete in the same dance team, notice small habits only a lover would realise. neither of you know the feelings you harbour for each other, and it’s painful.

pausing the generic rap music your teacher assigned for your hip hop duo, you turn to him with mochi filled cheeks. you're sitting on the floor of the studio, having a snack break. 10-year-old you gently points to the corner of your eye as he laughs at some long-forgotten dad joke you made. "taro, did you know that when you smile your eyes smile too?" the quietly comforting atmosphere is bubbling with innocence and joy. as you mimic his expression with a scrunched up face, he giggles even more and you smile too. "look, they did it again! they kind of- kind of light up! like they're getting bigger even though they're getting smaller." he tilts his head at your specific realisation. "really? do you think it's cool?" turning to the mirror, he begins smiling and fixating on his eye shape. "I love it! your smile is like sunshine." he stops and looks down, flustered. that's all he needs to know. now he smiles at everything you do.

"ugh, today sucks!" you exclaim, walking home from high school with shotaro. he hums understandingly as you kick a rock and asks you to elaborate. it's sweltering, and he's offering his water bottle every minute. "I argue with my dad this morning, then jiwook has something enlightening to say about my body, I get a low score in science and the one time I get to talk to you I'm upset." his heart pangs at your recount. shotaro’s conflicted by the way he's so affected by a slight change in your mood. you’re his best friend. he almost comes to the conclusion he's hurt by the way your sparkling eyes look worn down because he stares at you more than he'd like to admit. but he's too distracted by something you said.

"what did jiwook say?" he flinches sheepishly, knowing that shouldn't be his immediate reaction. "is that all, osaki?" it gets quiet. you continue. "s-sorry, i'm just on edge. um, he said something about me being an eyesore and no one liking me, i guess. why?" you reply nonchalantly. now he's angry, and he doesn't know how to react without it screaming i'm in love with you. he frowns. "don't listen to him. everyone loves you and you're so beautiful and amazing! my day gets better just when I see you! I wish I could make your day better. gosh, how could he say that about you?" he begins rambling, and you have to cut his usually composed self off by leaning into his side. alarm bells ring in your head and a cacophony of fireworks go off in shotaro’s. you start to realise he's coming off as more than a friend - he might like you too. as the conversation returns to normalcy, the burning sun pulls you away from that wild fantasy. "thanks taro. i'm so lucky to have you in my life."

growing silent, he pulls you into an embrace, stomach blossoming into a flurry of unspoken love. suddenly you've reached your house and you're hugging goodbye. it's just the two of you. he smiles contentedly into your hair until the sun starts to get to you and the world closes in. "you're the only sunshine i need." you mumble into his chest before pulling away and ruffling his hair, walking up to your front door for what feels like forever. "bye! love you!" you holler and he returns it faintly. he wishes it wasn't platonic, beginning to move away defeatedly. little does he know as you shut the door, your head falls and you let out a longing sigh.

"yah. did you hear me?" he nudges, resting his head on yours from behind playfully. you're staring at the dance studio mirror, lost in thought. moonlight spills into the dark lit room from overhead windows, outside it's quiet at this hour. "I called your name like, 3 times." head moving faster than your eyes, you spin around to see your smiley best friend also on his practise break. you're staying late together to perfect routines and have fun freestyling. really, though, it's just to have each other to yourselves while your team is gone. "huh? oh, yeah, what is it sunny boy?" he momentarily freezes, caught off guard at the nickname. god he loves your sleepy tone. he's lucky his endearing smile conceals it all. "wake up! I wanna show you a new choreo i learnt in LA last month!" you nod, immediately dropping crossed legged. shotaro loves the way he always has your undivided attention. you each steal glances at each other through the mirror as he walks to turn on 'siren', and you hype him up with all of your remaining energy. you would've caught the blush on his cheeks if he hadn't began executing the moves with such finesse, power and flow.

your eyes lock for the entire routine. growing shy from the tangible tension in the room, the music abruptly ends with the signature scratch, saving you as your cue to shower him with praise. you clap for eons. his immovable smile is widened by your vocal admiration and he bows like it’s his life duty to thank you. after his name leaves your lips for the nth time, you start to calm down. playfully whistling, you suddenly acknowledge anyone from an outside perspective would recognise you’re blindly in love with him. all he can think about is your appreciation. he joins you on the floor, you pull him into your front and his head finds solace in your lap straight away. should i tell her? echoes through his mind. you fiddle with his hair nervously. sparks fizzle between your bodies, years of want climaxing in a cliche full circle moment.

shotaro finally mumbles your name. “hmm?” you respond, making eye contact. he smiles up at you. rehearsing his big speech inside his head and running through all possible outcomes, he bites the bullet.

“I like you, like beyond friendship. I think I have for a while now. please don't say this changes us, you’re everything to me. I-I just needed to get this off my chest because I live to make you happy and can't keep lying to you."

you sit in shock. the dim lighting of the room amplifies all of your emotions at his confession, and the lower your jaw falls the lower his heart does. time stops in the room and you feel like you're floating. "wow." you breathe. "what is it?" he urges, cheeks already heating up. "I, uh, yeah. me too. I love you too, forever. just can't believe what's happening right now." you giggle. "who knew the flurry of sunshine had some poetic potential?" he tries his best frowny glare but fails, and instead opts for his trademark smile that you adore so much.

sitting up, he gazes at the crescent moon, entranced. you're gazing at his face as his arm absentmindedly snakes around your waist. your eyes quickly find his lips. you're both caught up in how your entire relationship is changed and it's electric. "taro, can I-" you begin, not realising he's thinking the same thing as his eyes have found your lips long ago. his glimmering eyes meet yours and you kiss.

it's a slow, uncertain clash that quickly deepens as you melt into each other. he pulls away and smirks before kissing you again with more passion. your lips dance, hands finding his neck and it seems like eternity in this state would be bliss. but eventually you're pulled back into your senses and your lips part. "i love you" is exchanged at the same time immediately and laughs erupt throughout the room at the sickeningly sweet moment. sighing, you lay down next to each other. "y'know, you're like the moonlight, and i'm like sunshine. yin and yang." he remarks, only ever revealing his sincere side to you. "here comes shakespeare..." you dig. "yah! I wanna be sentimental!" you kiss him again before he can defend himself further. "here's something sentimental. be my boyfriend." shotaro's never smiled harder.

[auntiejohn]

I LOVE YOU IMMENSELY JESS AHHHHHHHHHH CONTRATS ON THAT 500 ITS SO WELL DESERVED

SEEING YOUR POSTS ON MY DASH MAKES ME SMILE CAUSE EVERYTIME IM LIKE "yay thats my mutual jess i love her sm!" and my day is IMMEDIATELY BETTER.

May i request from thou a 🐚 and a 🪐?

Some facts about me:

THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG LIST IM SORRY

-my favorite colors are blue purple and pink and i just happen to be a ROCKIN BISEXUAL

-favorite band is fall out boy but mitski, AURORA and Laufey are my favorite artists

-I have a notes app of songs that continuously make me cry

-my favorite Greek goddess is either Artemis or Hestia

-i own about a million stuffed animals

-I physically cannot choose between two things. I have two everything. Bilingual, bi and ace (two flags) etc you get the point. For some reason the number 2 is just really me.

-the entire gaang from ATLA is my personality but just split up into different people

-lancey lance from vld is literally me except i cannot (and do not) flirt to save my life and I’m not funny 😭

-i wanna go to med school and be an ER doctor! (Or physician, whatever you prefer calling it)

-Also wanna be a biomedical engineer and do some research w that

-I wanna learn how to speak Russian, Greek, Mandarin, and ASL

-I have a LOT of hobbies (this is a non comprehensive list cause its a LOT); i play instruments, kinda know how to sew, and wanna start learning either fencing or boxing this year

-say what you will but ANDREW IS LIT MY FAVORITE and Neil is my second fave (from aftg if you haven’t read it you so should!!) I love all the characters though they’re amazing

-I lit live under a rock and don’t know like anything until it becomes old (like i still dont know what hawk tuah is??)

-CLASSICAL MUSIC IS A BOP. My favorite composer is saint-saëns but Bach is amazing and i love everything about his pieces

-i cannot dress for shit bro, my style is so very bad. I’ve been wearing the same four pairs of jeans for like three years

-i have curly hair (around 3-b?) but have exactly 4 pieces of pretty much straight hair. Thanks mom.

-have horrible taste in men (the guy i like is actually cute guys he’s just an acquired taste i promise!) and I just seem to only fall for straight girls. wtf guys

-i slip into a British accent all the time. Like i cant stop i even do it in school its become a problem.

-most likely ADHD bc wtf is memory and object permanence but not diagnosed cause fuck therapy (BUT YOU ALL SHOULD GET THERAPY FR!! ITS GOOD FOR YOU!)

-i am a hopeless romantic to my very CORE. I just want someone to love and shower all my affection with (hence the laufey obsession)

I know this is SO LONG but I hope i gave you enough to work with!! And again CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU MY POOKIE WOOKIE

LOVE YOU JESS!!!!

STOP CORI ILYSM YOURE SUCH A SWEETHEART JUST MADE MY DAY

500 followers event

｡⁠.ﾟ⁠+⁠ 🐚 - ok so like I wanna say remus or sirius but they're both pretty different I feel like so like a wolfstar love child or something

｡⁠.ﾟ⁠+⁠ 🪐 - moodboardd!!!

omg ok so I always see people talking about aftg but I have literally no idea what it stands for so PLEASE lmk

[summercourtship]

THEATRE FAN COMING IN TO SAY i thing Bruce and jonathan would be stephen Sondheim fans … im an Andrew lloyd webber anti (SORRY. HIDES IN MY CORNER OF SHAME) but I think Bruce would be a big fan of company and into the woods (hi themes of motherhood and fatherhood!) and i think jonatnan would like west side story maybe … Sweeney Todd feels a bit cliche but also maybe that… not while im around… jonathancore 💆‍♂️💆‍♂️💆‍♂️

you may think because I <3 POTO with every ounce of my being that I am a ALW stan- I am not. I LOVE phantom and jesus christ superstar and a few individual songs from his other works but besides that I'm pretty indifferent towards him. Immortalized in this joke I made a few years ago.

I agree with Bruce. I think those are great choices for him!! I love the idea of going on a theatre date with him and having like REALLY GOOD SEATS. Front row mezzanine all day baby (not box seats, those suck ass and only exist so you can feel important while having a horrible view of the stage. when I worked at a theatre in college, those seats were often the ones given away for free/as rush-tickets to students. the best seats in the house are front row center mezzanine because you get a good unobstructed view of the stage from slightly above. it's just better.)

However, I do think Jonathan would be fairly indifferent towards musicals as a genre. He might have some that he would enjoy (and Sondheim or Bernstein would be your best bet for composers he would enjoy), but they are more of an exception. I think he would enjoy something that is more mature, like West Side Story or Sweeney Todd (I'm not saying that bc Sweenety Todd is one of my favorites... no...) For non-Sondheim musicals, something like Next to Normal or Hadestown might be more of his drift (I would also say Jekyll and Hyde but I think it might be too musical-y for him). He would happily go with you, though, to see them (even if he uses it as an excuse to get something out of you later like, "i did that think you wanted to do now you have to do this for me.")

side note fun fact: when I was eight I played Milky White in a production of Into the Woods. That is correct: I played a part that is usually played by a Plastic, Unmoving Cow. and i crushed it., everyone loves to see kids playing animals lmao.

[daisyvstheworld]

Day 16 - Jan 16 - Zurich/Grindelwald

I woke up super freaking early bc I was nervous that the train was gonna be late and I wasn’t gonna make it on time for my train from Zurich to Grindelwald. So I got up at 5:15am and packed up, checked out, and checked the status of the train which seemed like it was on time.

I went to the REWE grocery store at like 6:05am and bought HELLA gummies and pre packed food for the next few days bc I had like 25 euros left. Technically I still have 10 euros but I did want some extra cash on hand just in case for like lockers and stuff.

The train was there super early so I just hopped on and finished Love is Blind haha

Slept a bit but kept getting woken up by random people boarding.

We finally got to Zurich after what felt like FOREVER and I got off, crossed the ENTIRE train station to get to the lockers and dropped off my bags. I started walking around and omg it’s freezing. I cannot wait for the 9 degree weather at Jungfrau 🙃

The city is really pretty! Kinda plain and not much to do but pretty! I wish I had time to visit the Swiss museum but I’ll save that for another time I guess. There are actually a bunch of museums here that I wanna visit but I couldn’t because they weren’t open on Mondays 😂

I bought some expensive ass chocolates for my mom and I think they’re a good souvenir! They’re in a tin box with a picture and the name Zurich engraved. I also bought 3 truffles/pralines to try. I had the pistachio praline - 4.5/5!! I’m usually not impressed by chocolates but this was good. The chili whiskey truffle thooughhhh - 2/5. It was fine.. just not that impressive. I definitely tasted waves of the chili and whiskey but it wasn’t anything amazing..

Anyways I got back to the station, found out which spot my train was, and found a migros grocery store and stepped in just to check. They had SMOKED SALMON RICE SANDWICHES!!! I was like omg RICE. They had onigiri and a bunch of other stuff too but I was like no I get this. Then I got bluebs. But tgod I bought my food in Munich bc this shit is 2x the price and in francs.

The train went by fairly quickly, I sat on the top level and fell asleep pretty instantly. We had 3 major stops before getting to the mountains. There was a guy in the first leg who was freaking composing music. I took a picture, pretending to take a pic of the background, because it was all very poetic. From there, the views were inSANE. The mountains, greenery, snow, bright blue lakes, cute mountain houses, ugh I DIE.

We arrived a little late but it was a quick walk to my hotel and took a bit to check in bc the there was another huge tourist group, but eventually I got in.

The room was freaking AMAZING - especially after backpacking for so long!! I immediately laid my stuff out and unpacked. I wanted to get to the infinity pool so I changed and put on the big ass robe and slippers. I think I pooped first which was also really nice.

The pool was SO nice, it was slightly heated at 50 degrees Celsius and had the most incredible view of the mountains. I took so many videos and pics.

I didn’t stay too long bc I wanted to walk around town before the sun set, so I wrapped up and quickly rinsed before walking around. It’s a small town so I finished pretty quickly but I stopped to pick up some local IPAs, a postcard, and I found ORANGINA HARIBOS. I’ve never seen those before!! I feel like they shmack so I bought 2 bags.. lol

Walked back and decompressed a bit. Tidied up and just cherished the privacy and space. I scrolled my phone and shit, drank my beer, then went back out to the infinity pool. I thought it might be pretty but it was so dark and the mountains were also cloudy.. but I took some pics nonetheless and then as I was heading back, I discovered the SPA IS OPEN FOR EVERYONE TO USE. So I sat in the hot tub, went through the ice shower, then discovered the sauna and forced myself to sit in the 85 degree CELSIUS sauna for 15 mins and then stood under the ice shower for like 15 seconds. The wet sauna was too much for me, so I just toweled off and went back to the room to shower. It was sooooo nice though. Truly felt like a pampering day - took a full shower, did my eyebrows, did a nose strip, sweat out all the gunk, ate a healthy dinner, and had a peaceful sleep. Since I messed up and accidentally booked it in December, this cost like $270 lmao but for the normal price of $138, TOTALLY worth it!

[mediseller]

P2:IS character theme music box medley except the hero’s theme bc i cant make it fit into a music box. (…)

it’s kinda old but i thought of sharing it over here too. soundcloud link

please enjoy it!

[arthursknight]

having a lot of thoughts recently about post-canon merlin's relationship with music

bc like. he would have lived through the evolution of a lot of mediums-- written word, theatre (please dear gods do not GET me started on this one it's for your own good), visual art-- but, arguably, the one that has some of the most dynamic change has been music. (i say this very carefully, knowing i am opening myself up to the fact that, in a lot of ways, i am Wrong)

this is to say, because my brain is rotten--

i imagine merlin being delighted about the way music changes throughout the ages. i don't know much in the way of medieval music past its religious connotations, but i like imagining the centuries of folk music merlin must have been exposed to. the way music was used for storytelling, for communication. musical instruments changing and evolving and choral arrangements changing and evolving and thematic structure changing and evolving. all Very Interesting

here's where the rot comes in

i imagine there's a point in which merlin starts thinking i wish arthur could hear this. and for, you know, the absolute vast majority of his time on earth, merlin wouldn't have the ability to preserve the music he's hearing for arthur to hear it. so maybe he teaches himself how to play, so he can memorize these pieces that arthur will love. and he just has tomes of sheet music that he composes over the years, especially the early years when a lot of it wasn't really written down. (this is where my musical history knowledge suffers. please flay me if I am wrong.)

and he sees all these musicians that he's like. arthur would love this. and he has these wild stories of like, seeing mozart as a child, that he saves up for one day

and then i think of how fucking excited merlin would be when we finally got the ability to record music. at the very least with most other forms of art, there's always been a way to preserve it-- written word has the privilege of being written, visual art has a canvas. but music recording is a VERY young invention (save for the music box, but even then, that isn't a recording moreso than a reproduction), and suddenly merlin has the ability to catalogue all the things he wants arthur to hear

and so i imagine years of vinyl and 8-tracks and phonographs and, as the technology evolves, merlin has to adjust and save and like.

as music becomes more dependent on lyrics, merlin starts finding things that remind him of arthur and just. starts crafting playlists. starts thinking of how to introduce him to how music changes. starts crafting his own history that he can one day show arthur. starts imagining how arthur would react to bluegrass, gospel, blues, rock n roll, punk. (if he purposefully saves a signed edition of never mind the bollocks just to see arthur's face when he hears "god save the queen" for the first time, that's his prerogative.)

just. years and years of saved up songs, all because merlin would be in a concert hall or a church or a community gathering or playing alone in his room and would hear a chord that said arthur. and he would think, "even if he doesn't speak my language when he returns, he will know this."

and, you know, if-- when-- arthur comes back, if arthur finds that the majority of those songs are love songs, well.

he doesn't need to be any the wiser.

[ppersonna]

too good to be true - ksj

you're just too good to be true. i can't take my eyes off you.  you'd be like heaven to touch, i want to hold you so much - cant take my eyes off of you, frankie valli & the four seasons

↳ summary- Kim Seokjin loves you. And, blessedly, you love him. As much as he obsesses over you, you feel it tenfold. He can see it in your eyes, the glimmer of adoration. You glow, mixed with your own love and his. Separately, you are your own individual persons, but together you fit as if cut from the same cloth. 

↳ rating- explicit

↳ word count- 4.8k

↳ pairing- seokjin x reader

↳ genre- fluffy af, smut, so much fluff it’s actually gross how cute

↳ warnings- penetrative sex, dirty talk, emotional(?) sex, too much love it will rot ur teeth, oral sex (m/f receiving) unprotected sex (bc theyre established!!! be safe friends), established relationship, domestic af, jin is a big ol softy, 

↳ a/n-  damn this fic came out of nowehere. i started writing and then suddenly i had over 4k words.  enjoy domestic, fluffy, in love jazz singer jin!

Kim Seokjin is quite sure he’s never met, and never will meet another being like you. 

There’s lust and infatuation.  And then, there’s something more that lies on the spectrum of affection and Jin falls right at the farthest end, clear past love and into something beyond. What he feels for you is something he can’t speak with words, it isn’t tangible or physical. It’s a quiet sort of love, but powerful. It fuels his very being, pumping blood through his veins and firing neurons through synapses.  

Kim Seokjin is sure he will never love another as much as he loves you. 

He can’t pinpoint exactly when he knew he loved you. It happened slowly, over time. All he knows is that when it hit him, it hit him like a brick wall.

He loves the way you leave him silly voicemails when he’s at work, bringing a smile to his face after a long night of singing at the bar. 

He loves the way your hair somehow ends up everywhere when you sleep, and all your bobby pins cover every inch of your shared home. 

He’s obsessed with the way your cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink anytime he tells you he loves you or how beautiful you are, although he does it every single day and has for the last five years.  You still act as if it’s the first time you’ve ever heard it. 

Maybe Jin loves the way you make him feel. Like it’s still as exciting as your first date, but comfortable as if you’ve been together for decades. He loves that you still stir a fire in his belly like none other, and can comfort him with words you know will heal all wounds. 

He remembers the heartbreak, and that the relationship hasn’t always been easy. He remembers the fights, how your loving passion turned into fury. Jin still carries scorch marks in his soul from the day he left you, watching you cry on your porch from the rear-view mirror.  “It’s too much,” he had told you. Jin had never been more wrong in his life. 

The enormity of it all hits Jin now, as he’s standing at the counter of the jewelry store. The way the diamonds flicker in the light remind him of the way your eyes sparkle at him. He sees you in everything he does, couldn’t help but to find you in his daily life. 

Jin texts his best friends, securing their help.  He has a plan and wants it to go off without a hitch. 

He’s singing tonight at the jazz club, his backing band is aware of the slight changes to the lineup. He needs you to be there, wants to treat you to a special night tailored for you. 

Jimin, your best friend, agrees to get you to the club with as little suspicion as possible. Jimin is good at sweet talking you, almost as good as he is at sweet talking Jin.  You both have trouble resisting the dancer. 

Jin’s eyes are waltzing along the pristine glass counters, stopping occasionally to look at a ring. He takes a while to decide. Most of the rings are almost right. They’re the right style, but the wrong cut.  The right cut, but not in the setting he knows you want.  He’s stalked your Pinterest feed enough now to know what you want down to a T. 

Then he sees it. Set on a burgundy pillow in the furthest cabinet from the salesman.  The stone is gorgeous, cushion cut and halo moissanite like you prefer. You don’t like real diamonds, don’t like the idea of blood literally on your hands, and Jin loves you for it. 

He points to the ring, and the salesman complies, and Jin has it sized correctly and buys all the extra protections. He has a special heirloom ring box to present to you, vintage style and gorgeous, just like you. 

Jin gives the ring and box to Namjoon, his trusted best friend.  Namjoon, who is also his trumpet player in the jazz band, will bring it with him tonight and have it ready to go for the moment Jin is most excited for. 

He arrives back home to find you stretched out on the floor, practicing yoga. He can’t help but grin as he watches you practice your downward facing dog, upward face, chaturanga and return to standing. You make every sun salutation look effortless, and he loses himself in the way your body moves and folds in your leggings and tank top. 

“Oh, hi!” you squeak as you see him through your legs of your downward facing dog. 

He winks at you and approaches. “I like this angle.”

You blush.  His favorite color is the one your cheeks bloom to when he hits on you. 

“Naughty,” you tsk. 

“Can you blame me? I walk in to find my girlfriend ass-up in my living room. I can’t help it.”  He stands behind you, presses his hips to your backside, letting you feel his growing member. 

“I missed you this morning,” you sigh as you slowly rise, pressing your back against his front. 

“I’m sorry, my love,” he kisses at your neck. “I had some work errands. Can I make it up to you?”  

You giggle and grind against his hardening length. “Depends on what you have in mind.”

Instead of replying, he turns you around to face him and cups your cheeks. His lips press against yours gently, and Jin feels as if the heavens open up just for him.  He’ll never get over how kissing you makes him feel whole, alive. Like it’s his first day of his life all over again. 

He guides you towards the bedroom and sets you on the messy, unmade bed. Your eyes darken with lust and you look at him as if he holds the entire world in his hands. Jin feels more powerful with you than he ever has in his life. 

“I love you,” he whispers as he descends to plant his lips on yours again. “I love you so much.” 

You sigh as his lips trail down your neck, licking and kissing and sucking at the supple flesh. There’s nothing you love more than Jin adoring you, worshipping your body.  To him, you are his idol, his goddess, and he is but a lowly servant and parishioner. He desires nothing more than to please you, to serve you.

The tank top comes off first, and you’re wearing a black sports bra that pushes your cleavage up deliciously. Jin loves your breasts, they way they fit in his hands and in his mouth. He often finds his hands resting on your breasts at night, comforted by the smooth skin and hardening nipples. 

Your breasts are sensitive, always have been, and Jin loves the way you react as he licks at your cleavage.  You’re still encased in a sports bra, but you react as if you’re stark naked.  You shudder and sigh, skin of your arms prickling in goose-flesh at the sensation. It makes Jin feel heady and capable. 

The bra goes next, Jin is eager to wrap his lips around the nubs of your breasts. He lies you down and caresses every inch of your torso, using his fingers to etch his adoration into your skin.  As the pads of his fingers tickle at your stomach and sides, his mouth finally, blessedly, attaches to a hardened bud and you're arching off the bed in pleasure.  His cock stiffens at the way you respond to him, to his touch and to his love.  

He laves at your nipple with a long stripe of his tongue, then moves to suckles it gently. He loves the feeling of it in his mouth, and he tugs it light with his teeth, which makes you squeak in delight and in pain. He knows you love the sensation; you have a set of nipple clamps you use on kinkier nights together. Jin loves watching the color of your nipples turn a soft shade of pink to beautiful rose red, enlarged by his suckling mouth and pinches. 

“Jin,” you breathe. It’s music to his ears, a symphony even Beethoven couldn’t compose. He slides his tongue around the nipple, before kissing his way towards your untouched one. It pickers instantly in his mouth and he moans around it.  It’s as if your body is wired to his, to respond to his touch and only his.  

You were made for him, molded to fit him perfectly in every way. 

Jin ensures he thoroughly loves your breasts, pinching and tugging and biting the buds, knowing beautiful maroon colored bruises will ring around your nipples later. It’s a goal of his to mark you every single time. He loves waking up to see the evidence of your lovemaking carved into your skin. Evidence of him. You are his. 

“Please, Jin,” you’re needy now, hips rolling against his for relief. 

Jin finds it hard to resist you. He normally loves to drag it out, make you beg for him, but he feels no need for it today. He wants you as desperately as you want him. 

He tugs down the tight leggings, and groans at the sight of your bare pussy, no panties in sight.  In the back of his mind, he knows you never workout in underwear, but seeing it now makes his cock weep. He can tell you’re wet, the evidence slicking up and down your mound and on your thighs. You always get so wet for him, so responsive to his breast worship that you become a waterfall by the time he attends to you. 

“Baby,” he breathes. “Look at you. So wet for me.”

You blush again, turning as red as your sucked-upon nipples. Jin wants to take a photo of you now. He’s never seen a more beautiful woman in his life.  Your eyes are full of devotion, breasts covered in his lovebites, cunt drenched with desire for him. He’s never felt more lucky to be with you. 

“All for you, Jin,” you sigh, pinching at an abused nipple and gasping at the sensation. “Want you so bad.” 

“I know you do, my love. I want to give it all to you.” 

He pulls you to the end of the bed, pussy right at the edge as he kneels to pray to his goddess. 

He kisses at your thighs before he tugs them onto his shoulders, granting you rest as he moves to pleasure you. 

“Fuck, Jin!” you cry as you feel his breath at your entrance.  It makes Jin smile, before he leans in and licks your slit from top to bottom, and back again. 

He’s tasted nothing sweeter. In fact, he’s never tasted anything that tastes as good as your delicious cunt. You’re flooded with love, and desire for him and the taste is intoxicating. He laps at you like you’re his fountain of youth, and drinks you until his never-ending thirst is sated. 

Your moans are loud, unabashedly so. He adores the way you cry and beg and gasp. He knows if he suckles right at your clit, right there, you’ll tremble and stop breathing, just for a moment, before you’re whining his name in joy. 

He does so and is rewarded with the melody of your satisfaction. He trails two fingers up to your entrance and swirls them around the wetness as he focuses his attention on your clit.  You’re panting, begging, thanking him for every single touch. He can’t hold back any longer, needs to feel inside you. The fingers slide in easily, slicked up by your wetness. 

“Oh, fuck!” You shout, head thumping in the bed hard as your eyes squeeze tight. 

He loves your dirty mouth, the way you can beg for his cock like a practiced whore.  He loves the duality, his innocent and perfect angel and his cock-sucking slut. 

Jin closes his eyes and loses himself in your pussy, sucking and licking as his fingers fuck into your channel, walls massaging them sweetly. He can’t wait to slip his cock inside you, knowing it’s the headiest high he’ll ever know in his lifetime. But he loves making your first orgasm happen on his tongue, loves feeling your cunt pulse around his fingers. 

He curls his digits upwards to find your g-spot, and he knows he’s successful when he hears your loud gasp. Your channel tightens, and he bites his lip. He feels his cock straining against his jeans and he wants nothing more than to sink into you, but refrains. 

“Cum for me, my love,” he urges. “Let me feel you cum on my tongue. You taste so sweet when you cum for me.” 

You keen at his words, back arching impossibly off the bed. Both your hands attend to your nipples now, needing the stimulation. Jin suddenly wishes he has more hands, enough to fuck your sweet little pussy with and pinch at those tight buds. He decides he must settle for enjoying the view of you doing it yourself. 

“So c-close, Jin!” you’re begging now, to anything or anyone who will listen. Your body is tightening, muscles contracting as the string holding your orgasm back coils tight, tight, tighter. 

Until it snaps, and you’re cumming hard around his fingers. Jin moans in time with your sated cries of ecstasy, and laps at the juices coating his fingers and escaping your core.  He wishes he could bottle your essence, wear it around his neck like a cross to kiss and to pray to. Your taste is one he wants on his tongue for eternity. 

Jin pulls his fingers from within you and sucks at his own fingers, groaning at the lingering wetness on them.  

“God, Jin,” you pant, sitting up on your elbows to watch him. “Get up here and let me suck your cock, please.”

His innocent little angel, asking so sweetly to please him. It’s a request he finds himself powerless to deny. He scoots himself onto the bed and lies his head on the soft pillows you insisted he buy. He’s grateful you talked him into them, as they cushion his head perfectly for such activities as this. 

“Your wish is my command,” he smiles.  His cock is straining hard against his jeans, and you lick your lips. Your breath still leaves in harsh pants; the after effects of your orgasm still coursing through your veins. 

“I love your body,” you whisper as you pull him up to take his shirt off. Your hands roam his chest, touching every ridge and line of his defined muscles. “I love everything about you.” 

Jin stares in your eyes as your own bask in his chest. His heart tugs hard in his chest, and he takes a deep breath.  Loving you was so easy, so natural, as if it was imprinted in his DNA next to his blood type and hair color. 

The jeans go next, and Jin is lifting his hips to help you ease the tight boxers down his legs too.  You match now in nakedness and Jin knows this is the state he wishes to be with you most. To feel your skin on his, the heat of your body warming him down to his bones. 

He closes his eyes as you kiss his body, planting deep devotion to every inch of him. He loves you, god he’s insane for you, and the way you feel against his body makes him want to cum. He’s sure that you could bring him to completion by just worshipping his body, cock untouched. 

Your kisses turn to kitten licks as you trail to his hips and pelvis, then finally descending to lick at the base of his cock and his ballsack. Jin groans out loud, and gasps out your name. Your talented tongue wraps around his balls and you suck at the tender flesh there, before licking up to the crown of his length. 

Jin feels as if he’s sinking into an ocean of bliss as your head descends and your mouth envelops him fully. You take his long length completely, allowing the tip of his cock to kiss the back of your throat. Jin’s eyes nearly roll back into his skull at the sensation.  You know exactly what he likes. You swallow, and the tightness of your larynx has him gasping for air.  

He opens his eyes to watch you as you bob your head up and down, slicking his member up with your saliva. Your eyes meet his and he feels himself nearly cum at the look in your eyes.  Your pupils blow wide with lust. You look at Jin as if he’s put the stars in the sky, as if sucking his dick so perfectly is the only thing you were put on this earth to do. 

Jin wants to weep, to cum so deep and hard down your throat for eternity, to have you drink his seed constantly. 

“Baby, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groans. “You look so fucking good sucking my cock.” 

You smile around him, and your cheeks tickle pink again. God, he’ll never get over it. 

You speed up your actions, adding a fist around his length to take what you cannot reach into your mouth and the added sensation of your warm hand sends him careening over the edge. 

“Baby, shit! Oh, my god, I’m cumming, gonna cum down your throat,” he hisses, hands clenching at the untidy sheets below him.  You don’t stop, continuing your fast pace as his cock head swells intensely, and he’s twitching spurts of his seed down your throat. You swallow dutifully, as if it’s your mission, and pull off him with a satisfying ‘pop’ when you’re sure he’s finished. 

“Mmm, I love your cock,” you sigh as you nuzzle it with your nose.  It’s softened slightly, but Jin knows it’s only a matter of minutes before he’s granite hard and ready to go again. He can’t look at you naked for longer than a few minutes without his cock stirring back to life. 

He tugs you up to straddle his body, settled on his hips. 

“My cock loves your mouth,” he smirks.  You reply with a blush and a kiss to his lips. He tastes himself on your tongue. He thinks that’s the only way you should taste. Like him. 

Your hips grind down on him and his cock responds heartily, as if it didn’t just get the life sucked out of it by your skilled mouth. 

“I’m going to ride you, baby,” you promise. “Gonna fuck you until you forget who you are.” 

Jin believes you, knows the power you hold between your thighs. Being inside of you makes his head foggy, his only thoughts are you and that tight cunt molded just for him. 

“Please,” he groans. His cock is at full attention now and you lean down for one last kiss and lift to line his cock at your entrance.  You take him slowly, his thickness a stretch to your walls.

Jin sees stars. The heat of your pussy wraps around his cock and feels as if it wraps around his whole body. Your hands seek purchase on his abs, stabilizing yourself as you seat yourself fully with him inside you to the hilt.  Jin feels like a king, a god. Your walls are tight, gripping him wholly. 

“Fuck, this cunt was fucking made for me,” he hisses as you slowly ride him, making him gasp for air. “You were made to be mine, all fucking mine.”  

“You feel so thick inside me, babe,” you sigh as one hand presses against your stomach. You can feel his impressive length distend your stomach when he’s fully sheathed, filling you to the womb. 

Jin loves watching you ride him, loves the way your pussy grips his cock. Your eyes shut in pure bliss, mouth open to moan your pleasured sighs to your boyfriend below you. 

Jin moves his hand to grip your hips, and starts meeting your thrusts, pushing his cock inside you further and harder.  The change up makes you squeak, and the pace quickens. The sound of flesh slapping, wetness squelching, fills the room. Your tits bounce in his face and he’s mesmerized, pushing his head up to suck on your pretty nipples. 

“Yes, Jin! Fuck! Right there! God, you fuck me so good!” You cry, head tilting back in ecstasy. 

“That’s right, baby,” he grunts, turning feral with each thrust. “This pussy belongs to me. I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.” 

You’re babbling a response, the ability to speak coherently is being fucked right out of you. Jin doesn’t mind, loves seeing you get fucked until you’re unable to talk. 

“I love this tight little pussy, you take me so well,” he emphasizes his words with a deep thrust to your cervix and you scream in response. “My little love, fuck, I love being inside this cunt.” 

He can’t hold himself back, the sensation of your pussy gripping him makes him lose any filter. 

“Gonna cum soon, babe, gonna fill you. You want my cum, baby?” 

“Y-yes! Please!” You wail, your orgasm approaching quickly. “Need your cum, please, please, please!” 

“It’s all fucking yours, babe,” he grits his teeth as he feels his balls tighten impossibly. His thumb moves to your clit, circling the engorged nub the way you like most. Your mouth gaping open in a silent scream tells him you’re close, so close. 

“Cum on my cock, my sweet. Cum for me, let me feel this sweet little pussy milk my cock.” 

You’re gasping for air, crying desperately as his thumb moves quickly and his cock impales you deep into your womb.  The band holding you together snaps and you’re suddenly convulsing, holding onto his obliques to steady yourself as your core tightens around him like a vice.  His name is the only word you can speak as you orgasm, and your legs tremble against him. 

The feeling of your impossibly tight channel squeezing him even harder sends him flying into pools of euphoria, and his cock jerks hard inside you to spill his seed into you. He grips your hips tight, sure to leave bruises, as he cums. He’s gasping for you, whining his devotion and love as he comes down from his high. 

You remain atop him, softening cock still slotted in sticky wet, warm channel, and you lean down to kiss him.  It’s tired and sweet, but expresses more emotion than words can. He loves you. And, blessedly, you love him. As much as he obsesses over you, you feel it tenfold. 

He can see it in your eyes, the glimmer of adoration. You glow, mixed with your own love and his. Separately, you are your own individual persons, but together you fit as if cut from the same cloth. 

“I love you more than anything else on the planet,” he murmurs as he caresses your cheek. 

Your eyes shine, unshed tears of happiness lingering. “And yet, I love you a hundred times more.” 

Kin Seokjin’s palms are sweaty as he stands off to the side of the stage of the club. The band is warming up, tuning their instruments with each other. Hoseok ensures his drum set is stable, while Yoongi plays a C chord on the grand piano, Namjoon and Taehyung, trumpet and saxophone respectively, match the pitch to tune. He inhales deep, filling his belly with air before exhaling. 

Jimin texts him an affirmative ‘the eagle has landed’ which makes his nerves spark. You’re here, amongst the crowd.  You’ve heard him sing a million times, in a crowded bar and in the shower, but tonight is different. 

Jin checks his watch, notes that it’s time to get on stage, and nods to Yoongi, who silences the band for a beat before they begin their first song and Jin enters from stage left. 

He spots you in the crowd, and he’s momentarily breathless. You’re wearing a red velvet dress that clings to every curve, cups your breasts in a sweeping sweetheart neckline, with cherry red lipstick to match. Pearls dangle from your ears, the earrings he bought you for your 4th anniversary.  Jimin did well at getting you ready. 

He steadies himself and slips into his onstage persona. Ever the showman, he’s charming and confident and starts the evening off with a quick-paced love song.  Jin has tailored every song tonight to be about you. To the rest of the guests, he’s singing a mix of oldies and newer hits, but to you, he’s proclaiming his love in musical form.

His eyes meet yours throughout the whole performance, and he winks at you, which makes you blush. His heart thumps steadily in his chest as he sings song after song, getting antsy as the finale approaches. 

After the penultimate song, Jin takes a moment to breathe and sip some water.  He’s back at the mic in an instant. 

“This is our final song tonight, ladies and gentleman.  I thank you for being here with us tonight, you’ve been a lovely crowd.”  He’s met with generous applause, the guests enjoying the show. 

“This number is special, and it’s dedicated to a very special little lady in the room tonight.”  

He gazes at you, and your eyes widen impossibly. Jimin nudges you and your cheeks turn a bright shade of red. You’re not shy in front of crowds, thank god, but he catches you off guard. You thought tonight was just a fun night out with Jimin to watch your boyfriends’ perform. 

“She’s the gorgeous doll, sitting there in that impeccable red dress,” he smiles. “Could you come up here, love?” He motions you to a plush chair on the stage.  You bite your lip for a moment before you’re slipping out of your chair and down the aisle to the stage. A stage hand helps you up and you’re suddenly seated in plush leather. 

“This woman,” Jin sighs into the microphone, “is the love of my life. And this song is for her.” 

Namjoon begins the song, trumpet playing the opening notes of ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You’ before Hoseok joins in with the drumbeat. 

You gasp and put a hand to your mouth to hide your surprise.  It’s your favorite song. You told Jin it was your favorite on your first date, remarking how it sounded like what you thought true love must sound like.  Tears flood your eyes but you will them away, unwilling to cry your hard-fought makeup off. You can’t believe he’s remembered, after all these years.

Jin’s crooning begins, and his voice sounds like an angel’s. The man sings with passion on any night, a dedicated performer, but tonight he sings like he means it, like nothing is more important to him than serenading you with your song. 

He alternates singing towards the crowd, and towards you.  He caresses your head as he croons to the crowd of his undying love for you, and his heart is beating overtime.  He’s suddenly worried this is too much, perhaps too public.  He hopes the song ends how he wants it to.

The crowd is eating the show up, eyes glistening at the romance palpable from the stage.  Jin turns to Namjoon, who’s given him the ring box slyly, before Jin is finishing the song with as much heart as he can put into it.

“Oh, pretty baby, now that I’ve found you stay, and let me love you, baby.  Let me love you.”

At the end of the song, Yoongi maintains a soft beat of the chorus on the piano as Jin kneels in front of you on one knee. His eyes well up, and he’s crying without knowing or caring.

“____, I’m in love with you.  I want to spend my life with you,” he whispers, the mic now far away.  He pulls the vintage ring box out from his pocket and opens it, the sparkling ring gleaming in the stage's light.  The crowd cheers and claps and you can’t help but burst into tears.  

Jin is still for a moment, hoping the tears are of joy, before you’re throwing your arms around his neck and holding him.  

“Yes!  Yes, you amazing man, yes!” You cry into his ear.  He wraps his own arms around you and holds you tight, grinning from ear to ear as tears flow down both of your faces.

You’re just too good to be true.  

Jin can’t, and won’t ever, take his eyes off of you.

© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

[fmdduri]

famedbasemagazine - solo interview.

trigger warnings: n/a. notes: you know, i kind of struggled with the making of three questions but i did it <3 

what one word or phrase would you use to describe your 2021?

“phenomenal!” he says, giggling afterwards. “i think this year has really just been great? there was a lot i did career wise that i’m really proud of and this year is the year i got to release my second full album, so i’m really happy and excited about that! generally, 2021 has been really great to me and brought me so much. i really hope it brought gaia a lot this year too!”

how have you and your group grown this year?

“titan reached their tenth year this year and i think that, in itself, is really a lot of growth! i think we’re really, really lucky to have gotten to the tenth year and i’m really proud that we’ve managed to reach that achievement. i think we essentially grew up in a way! i think we grew even stronger. myself, i think i’ve really come into myself musically as an artist even more and in other aspects of my career, such as modeling!” 

what has been your must-have fashion item recently?

“with autumn coming up, i think my must-have fashion item is a really nice sweater! personally, i make sure i have a lot of neutral colored sweaters, just so i can style them multiple times over with different pieces! i think it’s always better to have something that you style multiple different times and use over and over again.” 

how would you describe the concept of your solo pictorial and how you came up with it? 

“i would describe the concept as a bit of a garden fairy? but maybe... a hunky garden fairy? [giggles] i would name it frolicking among flowers, as i just spent a lot of time among flowers and greenery, with my shirt off though, that’s where the hunky part comes in! [laughs] i really like flowers and being under the sun, so i decided to combine those two things and came up with the concept. i did a lot of whites and creams for my outfits because i wanted to stand out amongst the green and bright colors of the flowers. maybe the abs helped with that too?”

talk about your exclusive x base stage performance. 

“i decided to perform one of the title tracks, breath, off my newest album, i am a dreamer. i think it’s really my favorite song off of the album, so that’s why i decided to perform it for my exclusive x base stage. i also decided to show off my piano skills! i’m really, really thankful that the staff had managed to get a piano all the way up to the rooftop for me, it really meant a lot to me. i decided to have the stage be on a rooftop bar because it overlooked seoul and i would be close to the stars, which i really like! it was also dim, much like the music video, so that the full focus would be on the piano and my voice, to give a really, relaxing and soothing stage. i wanted to comfort those that need it.”

what are you most interested in these days?

“i think this probably seems like a really easy answer, but it’s definitely music. my mind always feels like it’s racing with a new idea for music, so i’ll often be writing something down or composing something, to see if it’ll work for something. i think i’m really on a kick as of lately, so perhaps i’ll be creating something new? i have a very musical mind! [giggles].” 

what is something you want to do in the future?

“i really want to do more variety shows! so, i think something that i’d really like to do in a future is be in the main cast of a variety show because it’s been a long while since i’ve last been in one! i hope bc entertainment is reading this! please get me a variety show main cast role!” 

you recently released your second full length album, i am a dreamer, what are you thoughts on that?

“i’m really happy to be able to release my second full length album! i worked on it for a really long time and for it to have come out still feels really surreal to me. between my debut album and this album, i was doing a lot of mini albums, so it still feels surprising that i put together a full length album. but, i really, really like this album and it means a lot to me. so, i really hope gaia like it a lot. i hope they find comfort in the words that i wrote and the words that i’m singing. it’s a really special album to me.”

what is duri’s mbti?

“i’ve actually never taken the mbti test before! i wasn’t sure if i ever needed to? or if it’s something that’s really interested me? i think it tells you what it believes your personality is and i’m not sure if i need something like that? i think it’s probably a fun thing, but i wouldn’t want to put myself in that type of box. i’m just me!”

what type of music genre do you want to try?

“ah... there’s so many music genres that i want to try that i haven’t yet! i think i’ve done almost all types of ballads and i’ve done r&b, as well as folk and a few other genres in my mini album, chocolate. but, i think i really want to try rock and maybe some more r&b? indie could be a fun genre to do as well! i think i’d also like to dance again! even though i’m not really a dancer, i think i can handle it based off of other songs i’ve done! ah, i think there’s just a lot that i’d really like to explore.”

[notquitecanon]

Clean Break // Marvel/Criminal Minds Crossover (reader insert)

yeah, no one asked for this, it’s entirely self-service bc I’m trash

______________

Early 2010

You slammed your go-bag down in your car, taking a deep breath to compose yourself. Logically, you knew it had been a bad call- physically confronting the unsub by yourself when he had a hostage. Bad Idea. Not to mention some other risky calls you had made lately... 

But you pulled it off, getting the kid-safe and subduing the bad guy. Hotch didn’t see it the same way, not only had he pulled you away to scold you in private- but there had also been a yelling matching in front of part of the team. 

As soon as the jet had landed, Hotch ordered you on two weeks suspension. You had arguments on the tip of your tongue, but the warning look Derek was sending you from behind Aaron told you to just accept it.  This team was like a family, and sometimes families fought. 

As you slid into your driver's seat you could still vividly feel the white-hot embarrassment of the entire team staring at you while you collected your things. The awkward “I’m sympathetic but you lowkey deserve it” smile from Spencer. JJ and Garcia promised to get lunch with you soon, and Prentiss offered to meet for drinks as well, which you politely smiled and nodded too knowing they’d be too busy with cases. Rossi had stopped you on your way out and told you to, “Get your head on straight.”

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the steering wheel with one hand and roughly turned the key to start the engine. My head is on straight, they’re just not willing to take risks. You bitterly thought as you drove out of the parking garage. As you merged into the street, you finally got radio signal- the speakers flickering to life with an all too familiar, “I am ironman”  before merging to another later interview with the billionaire turned superhero, Tony Stark. 

You flipped to the next station, flinching at the terrible techno beats before flipping it again, this station flooding your car with drawling, “he-done-me-wrong” country music. You flipped it back, another irritated sigh, “Iron man it is.”

“I can’t trust the military with my tech, obviously, but it has too much opportunity to just shove in a box. So the responsibility falls to me to use Ironman to save people.” Tony Stark explained you could here the self-righteousness in his voice. The profiler is you couldn’t help but scoff. 

“Classic Narcissist with savior complex tendencies.” You remarked as you drove. You turned down the volume as you continued your drive, the suburb of Quantico slowly turning into bigger city D.C. 

Finally, you slid into a parallel parking spot across from your apartment building. The drive made the red-hot anger turn into defeated resignment, you knew you made mistakes and Hotch called you on it- he wasn’t singling you out, even if he was a little harsh, in your opinion. You recognized you arguing hadn’t helped your situation, I dug this grave, now I have to lie in it. But I can lie in it with the nice bottle of wine Rossi got me for my birthday. 

Resignedly, you started making plans for your two weeks as you rode the elevator up to your floor- you juggled thoughts of visiting your family back home, maybe visiting some old friends, briefly, you thought of starting an online dating profile and going on some dates. I should call and apologize to Hotch, he might have been harsh, but I definitely provoked him. You thought as you unlocked your apartment, quickly turning off your alarm before taking off your gun.  

You looked around your apartment, all the lights were off, deathly silent, almost empty. Two weeks of this, I’m going to go crazy. 

Four days later, you had officially run of out things to do. You had cleaned, cooked, tried new restaurants, shopped, rented movies, even read books that Spencer’s suggested list. You were going stir crazy- the Team was already on a new case according to Penelope, your old friends were all working, and your family was weirdly busy. 

On the fourth day, you went to the movies, returning to your apartment at 9:30. Immediately, you knew something was wrong- as soon as you stepped into the apartment, you noticed the lights, all were off (which you knew you didn’t do) except one light in the living room. I know I unplugged that lamp. 

You grabbed your gun off the entryway table, a million possibilities going through your head as you flicked the safety off and began stalking towards the living room. As you rounded the corner, your eyes landed on your intruder. 

“That won’t be necessary, Agent.” 

His voice was deep, confident. Your intruder was a tall, dark-skinned man, a black eye-patch matched the near floor-length black leather coat. He was wearing a black turtle neck, black slacks, and (shocker) black shoes- and was sitting in your favorite chair, only partially lit by the lamp beside him. Your trained eyes easily picked out the three guns he had hidden on him. 

“Who the hell are you and why the hell are you in my house?” You growled, still not lowering your gun. 

“My name is Nick Fury, director of SHIELD, and I’m here to offer you a job.” 

____________

“So you want me to profile a billionaire, a former Russian spy, a SHIELD agent, and Modern-day Jekyll/Hyde?” You asked sarcastically after Director Fury explained his proposition.  

“Possibly more. And then I want you to tell me if my initiative will work.” He nodded, you quirked an eyebrow. 

“And will my opinion matter if I tell you something you don’t want to hear?” You inquired, carefully watching him for an answer. 

“It will influence my decision, yes.” He nodded. He was a good liar, but you still noticed the subtle ticks. You ignored them. 

“Why me? I have a whole team of talented profilers-” You started, thinking of Hotch and Rossi’s experience, Reid’s brilliant mind, Derek’s determination, JJ and Prentiss’s unique methods of profiling... 

“No, your team’s first loyalty is to the Bureau, Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi will never leave the FBI, we tried to recruit Dr. Reid out of college he turned us down, Jennifer Jareau gets too caught up by her family, Prentiss was a good candidate but not while her mother is still working, political agenda gets very dangerous. Derek Morgan is too headstrong, especially when it becomes to .” He paused, before nodding to you, “Additionally, you’ve got a good bit of experience with the BAU but haven’t been there long enough to be considered a security risk to SHIELD, also with the recent sanction, we’ve determined that you’re willing to take risks that the FBI won’t let you take. That what makes you attractive to SHIELD. The sanction also gives a convenient break to recruit you to SHIELD.”

It was like a combination of Hotch and Spence talking to at you, slightly completely overwhelming. “You don’t have to decide now, but here’s my card.”

And then Director Nick Fury was gone as quickly as he came. And you had some thinking to do. 

______

“Hey, Hotch, I know I’m still suspended, but I’m just calling to update you- because well... well you’ll understand soon. I’ve made some personal decisions, and some things are going to happen soon, and I just wanted to let you know that it’s not because of my suspension. I just wanted to let you know that I’m not angry, and this isn’t a spiteful or rash decision.” You explained to the voicemail, almost relieved Hotch didn’t actually pick up. He’d ask questions that you couldn’t answer, but you couldn’t stress enough that you weren’t mad at him or anyone on the team. 

Director Fury had officially stopped dealing with you directly, instead sending another supposedly high ranking SHIELD official. Agent Coulson had decided it was best if you didn’t tell your team about your transfer, that he’d handle everything (re: go above Hotch’s head and handle everything at a political level). While most FBI agents knew about SHIELD,   Phil had stepped out for a moment allowing you to quickly leave the voicemail, which made you feel better about leaving your team.  

“So, uh, yeah, tell the team to be careful. I can’t say anything more, but, uh yeah. Bye, Hotch.”

You clicked off the call, shoving the cell in your pocket. Phil stepped back in, as always followed by three agents. “Well, you are officially an Agent of SHIELD. I’ve sent Agents to your desk to pack it up. Agents will also pack up your apartment, Fury wants you working ASAP.”

You simply nodded, zipping up your go-bag. Ain’t no rest for the wicked.

_______

Meanwhile at the BAU:

Dr. Reid glanced up at Aaron Hotchner’s office. He’d been on the phone for an hour, pacing his office back and forth. “What do you think is going on?” 

“No idea, but with that look, it can’t be good.” Prentiss thought aloud, glancing at the young doctor before watching Hotch through the blinds. Derek came up beside her, sipping at his coffee. 

“Think it has anything to do with (Y/N)?” He asked, leaning against the desk. JJ, on her way back to her office, stopped by. 

“We’ve been fielding so many calls from higher-ups. So I don’t think so, Strauss was pretty indifferent about (Y/N)’s suspension.” She said, lowly. Suddenly, Aaron came out of his office causing everyone to hurriedly go about their business- trying (and failing) to be inconspicuous as they stared after their supervisor who rushed out of the BAU. 

“What was that all about?” Prentiss asked, staring after him. 

“Uhh, guys?” Garcia called, approaching the other agents as quickly as the ridiculously tall orange heels she was wearing that day would let her. 

Derek Morgan quirked an eyebrow, quickly concerned after noting the shock on Garcia’s face. “What is it baby girl?” 

“So I was just checking on our absent friend, trying to see what she was up to and whatnot, and when I checked her facebook, (Y/N)’s page was deleted. And I know you’re asking, Garcia, why does this matter? I’ll tell you, because then I checked every other social media page she has- and they’re all gone. Her home phone is cut off and her lease was broken today. So either she’s Gone Girling us, or someone is trying very hard to make sure she doesn’t exist anymore.” Penelope listed off, words flying out of her mouth at a rate that was dizzying. She paused to take a breath, but Rossi had emerged from his office, standing against the railing that separated him from the rest of the bullpen. 

“My bets are on them.” He announced motioning to the entrance. The rest of the team snapped their heads that way, all eyes widening at the posse entering. Four agents, two men and two women, were trailing behind a woman who appeared to be in charge. Hotch was hot on the head-woman’s heels lowly hissing something at her with an angry look plastered on his brow. 

The entire team jumped up when the four henchmen (for lack of a better word) began rooting apart your old desk while Hotch was still arguing with the woman in charge. “Hey, Hey, you can’t just tear her desk apart, man!” 

Derek was the first to argue, but they just ignored him, throwing books, personal items, and office supplies into boxes. Morgan flicked his eyes to Hotch, “What’s going on?” 

Hotch didn’t answer Morgan, instead, using his size to try and intimidate the agent, “You can’t barge into my bullpen, and start packing up her desk.” 

Spencer watched the tense interaction, but approached the other most experienced person in the room instead, “Who are these guys, Rossi?”

“SHIELD, I’ve dealt with them once or twice- but it never turns out good.”Rossi divulged, his eyes never leaving the SHIELD agents. While almost every FBI agent knew about SHIELD, not many knew that much. Everything about SHIELD was a rumor at best and classified at worst. The doctor’s eyebrows crinkled, remembering the recruiting agent that approached him at his first college graduation as he watched Hotch.

 “You can’t pack up her desk and then ask us to pretend like she never existed! That’s one of my agents and this team deserves to know the terms of this transfer!” Hotch demanded, his voice loud and scarily determined. That was the voice that sent killers shaking, but this SHIELD supervisor didn’t waiver.

“She’s not your agent anymore, and contact has been severed at the orders of someone far above both of our heads Agent Hotchner.” She paused, watching her goons put lids on the three boxes they’d packed, “Now, we will be leaving. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.

”It only took them five minutes to erase every shred of evidence that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) had ever stepped foot in the BAU. The only proof they had was memories.

 Chatter immediately broke out amongst the bullpen, but Hotch stopped it with a simple sentence, “Meet in the briefing room.”

______

“....some things are going to happen soon, and I just wanted you to hear it from me first so I could tell you I didn’t do it because I was mad at you or my suspension... I just wanted to let you know that I’m not angry, and this isn’t a spiteful or rash decision.” 

There was a pause in your voice, before you resumed, “So, uh, yeah, tell the team to be careful. Go out, save some people, and put some sickos away for me… I can’t say anything more, but, uh yeah. Bye, guys.”

With that, the voicemail clicked off. The team sat in silence, each person quietly processing the voicemail, every verbal tic, every pause, every quiet chuckle. 

Hotch cleared his throat, “I got that voicemail as I walked into the BAU today, immediately thereafter I received calls from both FBI and SHIELD superior officers telling me the (Y/L/N) was being transferred to SHIELD. She has been ordered to maintain zero contact, and, as far as we know, will not be returning to the BAU.”

“Sadly, we don’t have time to argue with the higherups, because we have a case and it’s time-sensitive…”

So with heavy hearts, the BAU kept moving and tried to ignore the empty seat at the round table.  

_______

yeah no one asked for this but Imma keep writing it until I’m tired of it

[dolls-self-ships]

MORE stuff about my friendship with the Penguins !!

part 1

* Skipper is kinda like my dad in a way, he’s arguably the most protective of me and he can’t stand to see me upset- with his men it’s a little different because they’re all like brothers to him, plus they’re his soldiers, but I’m sort of like his little girl (not that he would ever admit that). Sure we probably argue the most out of everyone, but we always come out of it having learnt something new about the other, or with a new perspective on something. It’s some good ol, fatherly-daughterly love. God forbid I ever bring a boy or a girl home though, because Skipper is all over that like hot sauce on fish. He wants names, addresses, alliances, accomplices, places of work, ect.

* Private and I definitely have the most in common, and are the closest because of it. He’s like my baby brother/best friend. We watch cartoons, listen to musicals, draw, and bake together all the time. We’re both really soft and wholesome people so our vibes just kinda bounce off each other to create even more wholesome vibes. It’s cute, but sometimes too cute for the others to bare. In Skippers words, “oh god, there’s two of them!”

* Kowalski kinda simps for me lowkey but we’re still tight. I like to listen to him talk about his inventions and scientific theories- I don’t understand any of it but he’s happy to have someone around that’s at the very least interested in what he’s saying. I find it admirable that he’s so passionate about what he does, even though it can get out of hand sometimes. And even though he doesn’t necessarily think of the Fine Arts as the most productive course, he supports me nonetheless because at the end of the day he (and all the others) just wants me to be happy. Believe it or not he’s actually a very comforting friend with a small part of him that’s secretly soft. He doesn’t show it for obvious reasons but when you look at certain scenes in the show you can see a bit of that peaking through and it’s just 🥺🥺🥺

* Rico’s like my chaotic older brother that spent most of his life in a frat house. He teaches me how to fake belch (I still couldn’t do it in the end), shotgun beers (it took a while but I got it eventually), and backflip safely off a roof while still looking sick as fuck (yeah, the others didn’t let me do that, no chance in hell). He’s always barfing up things to my convenience though! This annoyed Skipper at first because it was ‘unauthorized hacking’. I was also grossed out by it at the start but now I just keep a packet of wet wipes on me and I’m good to go. Lots of fist bumps with this man! Lots of ‘em! He’s a total bro, always got my back! And I got his! Loyal as fuck!

* Skipper, on multiple occasions, has accused me of “turning his men into pansies”. I always kinda roll my eyes and try to ignore remarks like this, but I really try to make him see why sometimes that’s okay. Of course Skipper cares deeply about all three of his soldiers, so it’s probably just a front when he says things like that. Though... I do have to help him work on all that misogyny he carries around.

* “All I said was that it’s okay to cry sometimes.”

* “Crying shows weakness!”

* “Skipper, it’s just emotion.”

* “Exactly! I can’t have my men letting feelings run their lives.”

* “What about your anger issues? Those are emotions.”

* “Those are manly emotions, kid! Fierce, unapologetic warrior rage is what makes a good commander.”

* “I-“

* Or on a separate occasion

* “You’ve made my men soft”

* “And? You’re next you know.”

* *GASP*

* One time Blowhole captured me and roasted me for a solid hour in front of the Penguins both out of spite and his pure hatred for humans

* “You pen-gu-ins have really let your standards drop! I mean, how could you stoop so low as to befriend a weak, puny-brained, fleshy human?”

* Rico: *gasp followed by angry gibberish*

* Kowalski: YOU BITE YOUR TONGUE, BLOWHOLE

* Private: That’s not very nice!

* Skipper: Hey, that’s OUR weak fleshy human!

* After that, the Penguins decided that if I’m going to continue to be friends with them, it was mandatory that I learn how to defend myself. Because as long as I associated myself with the four, I was subject to more than than just Blowhole capturing me like an 80’s cartoon villain

* Over time I do pick up moves, learn skills from each of them (sadly, not Rico’s hacking) but Skipper knows that I am in no way soldier material. If he were to train me like he did his men, it would break my spirit

* He just wants me to be able to handle myself in case of emergencies

* He is very much like a worried dad

* At some point sooner or later I end up meeting Julien very much against the Penguins will. He’s just too nosy, and annoying, they can’t stop him

* He is instantly trying to put the moves on me bc he’s horny on main (again, not my suggestion, 100% my sister’s. She KNOWS I can’t handle it when people flirt with me so why would she-)

* The only way I can get him to leave me alone is by showing him my jewelry box, the shiny bracelets and dangly earrings distract him for a good while

* I even let him have a few things that are old or I don’t wear anymore.

* Julien immediately starts gasping and tearing up because he is so touched that I am just giving him this for free???? Just like that????

* He clears his throat and composes himself because obviously I’m giving him gifts, he is the King after all

* Our dynamic for a while is a little awkward for me though because it’s basically this iconic text post

* “Alright, raise your hand if you thought Julien and I were dating. Julien, put your hand down.”

* The feelings were very VERY unrequited :,(

* But it’s okay because once Julien gets over that we actually vibe really well!!!!

* He’s a himbo, and I’m a bimbo, therefore, we get along

* We do all that frivolous shit together: get drunk, go to parties (he knows all the obscure places that send you the location like an hour before the rave starts, it’s wild), get our nails done, talk abt our taste in people

* He’s a raging, flirtatious pansexual and I’m a romantic but shy bisexual

* Of course our friendship drives Skipper up the fucking wall

* He’s worried I’m gonna become more like Julien, but Kowalski says the likelihood of that happening is 0.05%. I might pick up one or two quirks of his because that’s just what happens when you spend time with people but no dramatic changes will be had. I’ll still be their same ol’ Cassandra

* Skipper still thinks that’s one or two quirks too many though of course

* This is way far into the future but my brain kept coming up with ideas for it so; on my wedding day, if I were to ever find someone I wanted to marry, everything is extremely chaotic, to say the least. Skipper is on constant guard mode, under the impression that one of his villainous foes could come and crash the wedding, which everyone doubts is gonna happen

* Kowalski, bless his heart, is the one helping me plan everything. Private pitches in too with decor and food ideas, but the price, date, location, guest list, probability that someone will try and assassinate me, that’s all Kowalski

* Rico is surprisingly into helping me pick out my wedding dress, he knows a thing or two from keeping up with the latest fashion for Ms. Perky

* And Private, he’s my main man on the big day. He’s the one helping me remember my vows, breath, talking with me before my human friend’s come in to do my hair and makeup. If it were up to me I would’ve made him my maid of honour, no joke. He said he was, well, honoured!

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

[famedroleplayarchive]

KITAE KWON, better known as MAVERICK, is MAIN VOCAL 3 of KNIGHT under BC ENTERTAINMENT. He was born on SEPTEMBER 28, 1993. He looks a little like LEE TAEMIN OF SHINEE.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: lee taemin, member of shinee

legal name: kitae kwon

stage name: maverick

pronouns: he/him/they/them

birth date: september 28, 1993

hometown: new york, new york

position: main vocal 3 of knight

claims:

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: none

i. his first and most prized memory was from christmas when he was five years old. he recalled walking down the long staircase at his sisters’ heels and running into the grandly decorated living room to see piles of gifts under the tree and their current nanny, but there was no sign of their parents. he remembered not skipping a beat and taking a seat on the floor with everyone. the only present he remembered was the last one, a long box wrapped in paper with snowmen on it and when unwrapped it revealed that in the box was a small guitar. it was light in color and small enough that he could function and wrap his hands around the neck. “i saw you looking at it a few times at the store,” the nanny began, “i thought i could teach you, if you’d like.”

ii. he loved that guitar more than anything as he continued to grow and move through grades; more than he enjoyed playing sports or being dragged around at his parent’s request to their business events  or small modeling gigs he didn’t want. it was the only thing he wanted to dedicate his free time to, the only thing he wanted to use in pursuit of a career. he wanted to be involved in music, whether it was being an actual musician, singer, or just a music teacher.

iii. even if they weren’t around a majority of the time, his parents dictated his life even as a teenager, and they wanted him to follow them and his sisters into the family business, preferably running it one day. his dreams didn’t have space within the carefully constructed plan they had for him. the amount of free time he had to give to playing the now full size guitar had dwindled down significantly to what free time he had between his homework and sports practice.

iv. as he entered high school strumming the guitar had filled the occasional time when he had time to be bored. nothing more than plucking at the six strings for fun. playing for fun had eventually turned into purposeful attempts at creating small melodies, something that sounded nice together that someone else hadn’t created. while maverick loved music he hadn’t ever had any urge to create something of his own, but compared to the drag of his usually well-planned parent-approved schedule, this was one of the few things he found he genuinely enjoyed.

v. the strumming turned genuine attempts at creating melodies slowly developed into challenging himself to create a full song. the habit had been one he kept to himself for months until he worked up the courage to tell his friend what he was doing. part of him expected for the other to laugh at him and his attempts to create music but to his surprise they only asked him if he lyrics to the tune, and if he was able to sing.

vi. at the time his attempts to write words down to go with the songs he was creating on his guitar had remained just that: attempts, something he wasn’t focused on as a teenager. instead maverick found himself wondering if he could honestly pursue music as a career, somehow get around all his parents’ perfectly laid out plans for his future and do something that made him happy, genuinely happy. he could sing, with some help and guidance he might get good at composing a song, and maybe one day he’d take lyric writing seriously.

vii. it took a few years to conjure up but maverick found a way to get around having to ask for permission from his parents, that was how he found himself on an airplane to seoul to stay with his grandparents for the entirety of his summer break before he would be going off to university. if everything worked out in his favor he wouldn’t be returning to new york anytime in the near future, nor would he be attending university in the states. maverick got himself to the bc audition, giving his rendition of “and i am telling you i’m not going” from dreamgirls before the judges, and hoping for the best.

viii. the hard part followed that, the phone call from bc that confirmed he could indeed sing, and that he passed the audition. the argument had been long, heated, spanned over a week, before he convinced his mother, while away from his father, to sign the forms when he suddenly showed up at home once more to get the rest of his things. but once he had returned to seoul, put thousands of miles of distance between himself and his parents, maverick finally felt free.

[meibemeibelline]

part 3 (FINAL) of highlights from that 32k word doc i wrote when i marathoned gazette songs (2012-2018)

PART 1 | PART 2

once again:

This is a combo of thoughts on music, lyrics and other random things I wrote while listening. Not every song will be featured, sorry.

I sometimes directly quote translations and when I do, I’ll specify whose it was. Here are the masterposts of lyrics by Heresiarchy , Defective Tragedy and Trauma Radio

I will write song titles for which there are warnings in bold and all caps

So this part will be a bit different because mental health and The Band became really prominent themes in their music in a way it wasn’t really before, so rather than simply writing about songs as they come, I do (attempt to) connect some dots between songs and albums

Also this is REALLY LONG (~5k words)

If you read any of these posts, thank you <3

CONTENT WARNINGS: murder (In Blossom), reference to abuse (In Blossom), suicide/suicidal thoughts (Kagefumi, Deux/Blemish), reference to PTSD (Incubus). Overall LOTS of discussions about mental health.

buckle up folks it’s gonna be a long one

So I listened to Division according to the limited edition version where the songs got split into the ‘story-like songs’ and the ‘hype songs’. Just while we’re on that, I like to think that Vein is the story part because these songs (the blood) are meant to go TO our hearts, while Artery, which is the ‘raw emotion’, is the heart doing the talking and supplying the oxygen that will do its thing. LIKE HEADBANGING.

“Ibitsu is not the first song they’ve written about changes in the music industry, but it’s quite different from others like 13Stairs[-]1 and Dim Scene. They were quite angry about the state of things, lamenting it. But here, Ruki is writing his and the band’s place in all of that. It’s like in the other two songs he’s like, “wow look at all this rubble. This sucks.” But in Ibitsu he’s writing about how he’s also in that rubble and thinks about what HE feels about it in relation to himself and the GazettE. And I find that quite interesting. Also hell YES imagery – skies as ideals, the world around them collapsing into ruin, the band as a flower amidst the rubble that can’t reach the sky. It sounds like he’s trying to navigate how he’s supposed to move forward when his ideals and what’s happening in the industry oppose each other quite a lot. He doesn’t reach an answer in this song and ends by asking whether it is actually in ruins or whether he’s just afraid of change, I think.” - interestingly, he uses this same imagery in Kuroku Sunda Sora to Zangai to Katahane to write about anxiety and not feeling good enough.

Quick disclaimer on KAGEFUMI: I do want to say first that I’m talking about this purely as a piece of art. Not as in, like, “this is peak romance”, but just as an artwork I can have Opinions™ about, even if they’re possibly in disagreement with that of the creator. “The shadow tag metaphor for a couple committing double suicide meaning that they’re ‘becoming one’ and being together in death is A Lot. There’s an incredibly strong belief in an afterlife where they can be together makes (what Ruki describes) this stronger bond between them that literally lasts or even transcends the boundaries between life and death, rather than a tragic end (unlike Tokyo Shinjuu). Musically, I love this song and think it’s gorgeous, the way it’s sad yet hopeful. We over here with that bittersweet stuff again but lyrically it’s a WILDLY different route than others before it.”

“Yoin is such a heavy end to disc 1. The ending lines, “The sea of loss / Understanding of helplessness / That day we grieved” about the Tohoku earthquake/tsunami and the nuclear disaster is just so ……. And not only that, but how even though people still struggle to survive, people are moving on like it’s a thing of the past. It’s SO heavy.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

“I think [Derangement] is about a massive internal struggle between wanting longing for the past, knowing it won’t come back, but also wanting to destroy the past out of self-hatred. There are aspects of the past, perhaps ambition and drive for example, that are good, but other parts that are not. It’s almost like a continuation of Remember the Urge but like…angrier and with more hatred towards his own past rather than only the longing of it. Which is also really interesting.” – this is definitely one of the themes that comes up A LOT from now, ESPECIALLY in Ninth. We’ll get to that.

“IS KAI GOOD??? That man is NOT human. I swear to god his drums in Required Malfunction are INSANE. ANYWAY, this song is about how people cannot be perfect and we all have flaws, especially in the context of relationships. I like that even though people argue and butt heads sometimes, there’s that Japanese verse where he sings “Let’s send a song without stains / to that innocence without lies / so you can swallow those wounds” and the last lines “Because you are always here, I can advance” to mean like…them being together can ultimately make them better and it can be a good relationship (if they work on it, imo). Also, I love the language he uses here – viruses and malfunctions and inputs – a very non-human way to write about human relationships.” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

(Dripping Insanity) “Solitude drenched in red laughs / in the insanity dripping in silence” is SUCH a good line yes hello I appreciate this. (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“EYYY HAVEN’T HEARD FORBIDDEN BEAVER IN FOREVER. At first I was wondering if this might be judgmental but honestly? I think this is satirical, especially from the line “May the truth you spew on taboos going frantically around / Shred the rhythm of high society”. Like the fact they’re gossiping about a famous woman who has a lot of sex and just TARNISHING her name bc of it, to Ruki, is a load of bullshit. Also, some of the lyrics in the chorus are funny coming from Ruki – “She has a sex addiction / Bang! Bang! / Cute luv machine” – like he does NOT ever write like this and this song is just a huge satirical joke I’m YELLING.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The transition from Malformed Box to Inside Beast >>>>”

“[Inside Beast] is definitely about having a ‘beast’ inside you that’s like all your demons and ugly feelings and to let them all out. He wrote about demons in Derangement, but the way he writes about acceptance is like…empowering and freeing. Not necessarily through words but through the music and just how hard this song slaps.”

“I really love the lyrics of [Until it Burns Out] and its whole thing about valuing the time they have as a band and to be together making music precisely because it’s going to end someday, and it’s going to be their last shot at living their dreams, which is to make music and perform TOGETHER as the GazettE. Like that’s so meaningful, and powerful in the way they just…grab it by the fucking throat. Breaking down the walls that hold them back, TOGETHER, towards the future in which they see their dreams. Like they’re not letting this be the end. They won’t allow it. UGH. UGHHH. The middle eight is so beautiful and I love the lines “The light that colours this irreplaceable scenery / burns the significance of standing here into me / Until the last” like they just love performing SO MUCH UGGGHHH FEELINGS”. (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“[REDO] IS SO GODDAMN SENTIMENTAL I’M IN MY FEELINGSSSSS. Kai being the composer, I can’t help but feel this is him paying homage to jazz, which is the music his mother plays and he loves her so so much. I’m probably reaching but THAT’S JUST HOW I FEEL.”

“EVERBODY SHUT UPPPP IT’S LAST HEAVEN TIMEEEE. It’s so gd gorgeous and sweet. I’M GETTING REALLY EMO WHAT THE FUCKKKK. BRUH. BRUUUUHHH. THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL //THROWS. SHUT UPPPP. TOO MANY SKY, STAR AND FOREVER REFERENCES FOR THIS TO BE OKAY BITCH. This is Ruki’s love song to the cosmos, wishing to be eternal like the stars but acknowledging that all he can do is chase it knowing his life will end, BUT THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO GRIEVE BECAUSE THEY WILL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE IN SOME WAY WE /ARE/ ETERNAL. IT’S LOVING AND INNOCENT AND WISTFUL. This song is the goddess to all the GazettE love songs. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. “The distant sky, this infinite moment / I now wish from the visible stars / in this youthful merry-go-round / that continues to turn endlessly / I want to be eternal like you” – is just…such a beautiful image. “Let’s stay like this, having dreams we cannot reach / Long road which leads to the calm hill / I go, leaving my sadness behind / Good night…my beloved / Last heaven of mine” – it’s yearning but it’s the yearning for LIFE. And to leave behind sadness…Ruki very rarely writes about pain like this. And to call the ‘beloved’ his last heaven, the last thing in his life that’s just THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO HIM AND THE THING HE WANTS TO BE ETERNAL WITH goodbye………GOODBYE. “Love without shape changing day by day / Close together / we become / one shooting star” – AAAHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Also, for him to say ‘memento mori’ which means “Remember, you must die” in the middle eight of a song about wanting to be eternal just gives the entire sentiment a new meaning ;-;” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“There’s a particular sound to Division and Beautiful Deformity (but more in BD). It sounds like rushing water. Loss in particular sounds like this. Like, the sound isn’t just ‘dark’ and ‘heavy’, it moves A LOT and there is sooo much emotionality in the songs on this album. It’s really dynamic.”

“The Stupid Tiny Insect revisits the theme of inner demons. Specifically, in this song it sounds like negative internal self-talk. It’s interesting though, the way that Ruki writes it as an entirely separate being to how he writes inner demons and whatnot in other songs, where it’s either another entity within a person that is part of them OR just…themselves. Here, they are VERY separate, and that probably allows him to feel and express rage instead of helplessness or confusion. I also love the reference to pretending to be okay – “I get high on delusion / And act as if I made them die out / ‘Just like a summer moth to a flame”.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“IN BLOSSOM is pretty fucking brilliant lyrically imo. It reminds me a lot of 32 Koukei no Pistol in that a protagonist who was abused/neglected by the parents kills them, and in the latter’s case only, also themselves. Some other differences: In Blossom is WAY angrier (and a lot more loaded) and the protagonist is trying to ‘make their own life’ (even if the way they choose to do that DOESN’T WORK), whereas the narrator in 32 Calibre Pistol was mostly lamenting that they’ve ‘lost their way’ and deep-down were wishing for their family to be happy together. I can’t say WHY that is. But it’s interesting that in In Blossom, the abuse just…DESTROYED their concept of family that they used to believe in entirely, and the fact they cannot separate themselves from their abusers neither by dying nor killing them is A Lot. So, they try to free themselves and ‘get hope’ by killing their abusers as revenge (“Die away, along with these wounds I’d counted”), but it doesn’t bring them happiness or heal them (“Even if I slash so much it’s unparalleled by the wounds I’d counted, it still starts to ache / It doesn’t even fight off the decay, much less heal me”). It’s very much saying that despite pain, revenge is not the answer. I also love the line “They adorn vividly – have blossomed beautifully / The sun that has started to set makes sure of it” to describe the wounds as the narrator kills their abusers and their loss of sanity as they do so.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“To Dazzling Darkness is about that moment when a concert is over and the lights start to come on. It’s so gorgeous. This is sort of like, the other side of Until it Burns Out. If UIBO is about the band then TDD is about the fans, and the band’s place in the world. I love the imagery in the first verse – darkness is usually associated with bad things, but here darkness is peace, escapism and unity that are part of the happiness of a concert, while the light symbolises the continuation of life. The scenery here is the same scenery in UIBO, which is the scenery of a concert that this band cherishes. There’s also the acknowledgement that time is fleeting and nothing is forever. Like, this is really the other side of the coin and I love it.”

“Dogma defines their new (2015) sound so well, which is HEAVY AND DIRTY AS FUCK. Like, it is SO conceptual and experimental and the painting is just GORGEOUS. I love the harpsichord in this song – as the predecessor of the piano, it was used in a lot of churches and religious music in the Baroque period (1600-1750ish), so using it here in a song where the band is likened to idols (the religious type) is super cool. And to combine it with these really low and heavy guitars just gives the DARKEST image.

And there’s so much going on in the lyrics – MANY MOTIFS, MANY MEANINGS. They bring back the concept of darkness as a symbol for escape from harsh life and of unity during concerts. As for death, Reita has an iconic quote where he said something along the lines of: “we often say in lives ‘to die’, but what we actually mean is to live. Live and be free”. I see death for GazettE as a kind of transformation – and end, yet also a beginning to become something or someone new.

Ruki hasn’t really mentioned god since Ogre in Dim, in which he basically wrote “idk if God exists but I don’t really care – all I need is me”. But here he likens the band to an idol of worship. We as the fans worship the GazettE, and they are also gods to us, their followers, in the sense that they provide us with life and unity (referred to here as death and darkness, respectively). The GazettE as a band brings darkness and death to the world (with their own meanings, of course).

This is also a song about the band breaking away from current gods and dogmas of the music industry, and from its greed. I also love the line, “The rite I must face is cloaked in darkness and isolation” – this process of their journey to finding their truth is lonely, and no one but them can do it for themselves. To do so also isolates them from everything they once knew. It’s them navigating what is expected of them by the masses and those they work with vs doing what they want without getting shunned for it.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

 “DAWN IS ABOUT REDISCOVERING THEMSELVES. I love the number of metaphors he brings back in this song – 13 stairs, death, merry-go-rounds and again dogma. Death here is about the transformation of them as a band, which occurs at the top of the 13 stairs to the gallows. And I find that so interesting because he uses the image of gallows (eg: 13 Stairs[-]1 and Forbidden Beaver) as like…an actual Death that means the end of a genre or a person’s reputation, but here it’s a place of transformation. In Last Heaven, the merry-go-round is a symbol of life – it comes back here but this time it’s red instead of blue (youthful) and is paired with the image of a mad banquet with emotions running wild (ie concerts). Basically, this is about the band’s life and, like, their life being about concerts. My favourite part is “Overcoming a period of confusion, I took those stirring emotions / And hung them up high on the 13 stairs” because there’s also the line “I’ve already had a lethal dose of misfortune / The ruined gallows towers above me” -> WE WENT THROUGH SOME SHIT BUT WE FOUND OURSELVES AND SURPRISE BITCH, BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME.” (Cr1: Heresiarchy, Cr2: Defective Tragedy)

Not from my notes directly but I feel like the difference between Bizarre to Juuyonsai no Knife (ie the only two songs about Real juvenile criminals) is a REALLY good representation of how Ruki’s lyrics have changed over the years. He went from taking perspectives of people who perpetrators of violence (to write horror stories, imo, but also to generally Explore their minds through art) to making comments about society and how systems affect people in real life. Not to say he doesn’t write about killers anymore or that social commentary is NEW for him, but just…a big change in what’s PROMINENT.

“Interesting that Wasteland is next, which is about Justice on the Internet. I know Ruki has always been really critical of the internet and the kind of social processes that occur online (see: Nakigahara) and here it’s about morality and justice, but more importantly the way it’s about crowd mindsets and CONTROL. And he just summarises it SO WELL in the first verse: “The thousand eyes that can kill even God / Transform into rebels that lust for control / If the time comes when right and wrong disappear / It will all end with a blood-red moon”. There’s also the line “Innocence gives way to sinful judgment” ie the innocent go along with their ways or it’s the innocent (the weak, as he says later) that are scrutinised. And I think about this a lot considering…some other fandoms I’m in >.>” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(INCUBUS) “The song is a lot of wondering what they did to deserve their trauma and how they want the dreams/nightmares to go away. I do like that at the end of the song they come to the conclusion that they cannot change what happened and decide “fuck the why”, accepting they didn’t deserve it. Even though the narrator is still stuck in the maze (of trauma), the letting go of asking why it happened is like, a really important step in healing. Because it’s the end of self-blame. So, I hope narrator can heal :( “

(DEUX) “My dumbass never realised this but the music of Deux itself has DUALITY. Metal with solo piano. IT REALLY TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO REALISE THAT HUH. It’s about two conflicting selves (which to me sound more like intrusive thoughts, considering Blemish’s VERY LOUD “These days I’m better dead”) and the effect that has on like, your emotionality and how it leads to loneliness. His use of nightmares in this song is fascinating – the Japanese word he uses (sakayume) is like…a reverse dream, like if a child has a nightmare you tell them it’s a sakayume so it means what happened in their dream definitely won’t happen AND something good will happen instead. And this is something Ruki prays for.”

(Ominous) “The imagery is really dark in this – “A prayer crushed under wreckage / Reflects in your eyes as you start to fly / I see you in the sky thick with shadows / Spinning around with nightmares” – there’s a desperate attempt to fly and get better and do Well but still they’re surrounded by darkness and nightmares, unable to escape. “Don’t forget that a heart cannot die / Don’t forget that dreams aren’t predictions of the future” –There’s hopefulness in a heart not dying yet a very strong despair when he says dreams don’t predict the future, not even reverse dreams. “It steals away my still-unformed future, and whenever I step forth / I can’t see a thing in that shadowed sky / My screaming can’t save anything / when I’m killing myself with sadness” – oh that hurts, that hurts A LOT. He wants to fly but he can’t. This is just SO MUCH. And they didn’t even have an instrumental outro, IT JUST ENDS WITH ACCEPTANCE OF HOPELESSNESS AND DEPRESSION.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The drums in Goddess uggghhh UGGGHHH. AND THE GUITAR TOOOOOO. Lyrically, this is really a mid-point between depression and healing. It’s A Lot. He writes about his suffering, wanting to make something of his mistakes and his sins and actually WANTING TO LIVE. But it’s so sad that in the end he still feels really helpless – the subtle changes between “I want to become the stars that fill the silence” vs “I can’t become the stars that fill the silence”. But I think that on some level he knows what the next step is. He wishes in the last two lines, “If only I could share my grief that can’t be put to words / If only I could face reality and live accepting my crippling despair”. THAT’S THE FIRST STEP!!!! THAT’S A STEP!!!! TO HEALING!!!! “These bleak thoughts are my sacrifice that will one day begin to thaw into a selfless, smiling heart” – this line is fucking LOADED. Like, he sacrifices his bleak thoughts by expressing them and by making art out of his pain in hopes that he will be able to acknowledge and accept his suffering and his pain as a means to heal, as a way of allowing him to have a selfless and smiling heart. Like, this is SO much of what his art is about and what it has been for SUCH a long time it makes me so emotional that this is what he’s saying about his own lyrics.” I realise too that the goddess is likely the same goddess from Blemish. I’m still unsure what to make of it because Blemish ends in Ruki writing he doesn’t wants to be reborn, and not abandoned. But here he ends with wanting to heal. Wanting to move on and live.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO UNDYING.

“WHEN HE BROUGHT BACK “SLEEP, COUNT ME DOWN AGAIN” >>> God, this song is so powerful. THERE ARE SO MANY CALL-BACKS TO DOGMA. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THIS BUT STILL. BITCH WHAT THE FUCK. It’s a direct continuation of Ominous (“I won’t arise from this”). I think in this song he’s becoming that figure that is flying in Ominous, and the one that is surrounded by nightmares and shadows – the first verses are about how the future is drenched in misfortune yet we must continue to live (and suffer, but WE CAN AT LEAST BE A BIT HOPEFUL). Ruki says this YET HE IS STILL DREAMING, EVEN AS THE END COMES (“My heart starts to disappear along with the spirit of my words / And though it knew the end was near / It dreamt of things it shouldn’t want / And even now I am still—“). There’s also his mentions of sins again that he continues to drown in :( But overall, this song is really about living despite all the pain, which is really meaningful after Dogma ended on such a note of hopelessness. There’s so much power in this song.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“Vacant doesn’t necessarily sound like a romantic relationship breaking down as much as it is about making a mistake and being unable to fix it between you and someone else (or other people), even if Ruki said he wrote it with a band’s image in mind. But the gist is is that there is yet again a struggle within the self (“Self-condemnation distorts the answer / And I lose sight of what I should be / Because of those unconscious actions / I can’t even dream”). The line “In the pain of not being able to tie back the undone thread / The traces left by stopping time keep piling up” really got to me – being stuck in time and constantly wishing for something that was and being hurt by the fact it’s gone is something I personally relate to. But even as the narrator is stuck in time, their grip on the past is loosening – they are forgetting, memories fade, and they lose their strength (“Vacant, you are withering”).” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

(Faling) ““Together, embracing the same pain: it’s only temporary / Don’t forget that this is not the end / So come on, let’s open our eyes and fall / We just believe in ourselves to die / Sometimes it’s okay to be broken” THIS MEANS SO FUCKING MUCH AFTER THE AMOUNT OF TIMES RUKI ENDED DOGMA SONGS WITH HOPELESSNESS AND AT BEST “WE HAVE TO KEEP LIVING AND SUFFERING AND BEING IN PAIN” BUT IN FALLING, PAIN IS TEMPORARY. PAIN IS TEMPORARY. WE WILL HEAL, BITCH. WE WILL GET BETTER, BITCH.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

Can’t find my notes bc it’s somewhere else in my Tumblr drafts but basically: I consider Mortal, Utsusemi and Sono Kore wa Moroku like a Depression Trilogy™ in Ninth. Mortal is about depression, loneliness and loss but like, tying it to a singular person or event in which the narrator felt grief. Utsusemi is about loneliness and depression as well, AND RUKI USES THE CICADA SHELL METAPHOR, WHICH IS THE SAME AS CRUCIFY SORROW (ALSO ABOUT DEPRESSION, BUT SOMEONE ELSE’S). But then, Sono Koe wa Moroku is THE turning point and where he first mentions (in this album) and actual DESIRE to heal and like, ON HIS OWN. IT’S ABOUT BEING STRONG FOR HIMSELF AND THAT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL. And as I mentioned before, Falling also ends on a hopeful note about sadness not lasting forever – it’s like he’s prefacing the album with the fact sadness IS temporary and that there IS a turning point.

“Babylon’s Taboo is interesting…so apparently Babylon is a figure of western imperialism and capitalism in the Rastafari movement (an afro-centric anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist movement from Jamaica). The narrator is COMPLETELY aware of the oppression and injustice that goes on around him but confesses to doing nothing. I interpreted this as complacency to violence, which Ruki has written about before. Also, he describes a starry sky (which I presume represents wealth and happiness) as a lie, and that they are actually black eyes that watch and look down upon you. In the context of anti-capitalism, my interpretation is that the ‘guaranteed fate’ he writes about is the life-long struggle to attain wealth and happiness – we are doomed to dedicate our lives to this, futilely, to no end. and there’s nothing we can do about it. Another line that stood out to me most is “all I need is sanity but uncertainty will do”. this, along with the rest of the song, implies that the narrator is PRETTY DAMN SURE that we’re all fucked so like....HAHA COOL.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(Two of a Kind) Okay so…another motif I noticed in this album is an I and a You. And I know this sounds weird considering almost EVERY SINGLE GAZETTE SONG uses first and second pronouns, but mental health is SUCH a prominent, overarching theme in a way no album concept has been before, hence why I’m saying this. Two of a Kind is really solidifying this for me, but they appear in almost every song (but the You is known as ‘she’ in The Mortal). This pair are connected in an extremely emotionally intimate way. For one, they share pain and understand each other’s pain. Secondly, the narrator falls into depression after they’re gone. A part of me thinks it could be a past self and a current self, considering Ruki’s said this album involved the Most introspection from him and Falling writes about sins and past mistakes again. So, it could be a way of separating a past and current self – a past self that was perhaps lost, and made mistakes, but ultimately creates his current self.

But it could also be another person, as this You figure is also a source of light – someone Ruki shares his wounds with, in Two of a Kind. If it’s another person, it may also make sense that the depression and loneliness written about in The Mortal and Utsusemi is triggered by someone extremely close leaving him. Either way, it is this understanding and connection between the I and the You that also bring hope for the future and I REALLY love the way that hope is conveyed in the chorus of Two of a Kind. There’s so much light in it compared to the parts of the song where ruki calls himself filthy and ugly, and when he writes about negative feelings that never go away and bleed into this other person. but i think this other person understands it, and that’s why he can move on.

“Abhor God is a REALLY dark and heavy take on MOVING FORWARD. Like there’s so much rage in the way he writes about killing his lust, pride and anxiety and stringing up his nightmares in a noose, yet so much power in how he moves forward and sings victory with his music and his art. This is likely connected to Ninth Odd Smell and Uragiru Bero - where he writes about the band’s history and his imposter syndrome as an artist despite the band never going to die just because of that. He contrasts ‘too fast to live’ and ‘too young to die’ like, he’s really in a sort of purgatory where he’s constantly making too many mistakes to be happy but has too much to do for him to give up. So it’s here that he chooses to keep going no matter how weak the beat is. Imagery-wise this feels like.....continuing to live not because you have happiness to look forward to but just out of sheer willpower. Like it’s just so angry. Angry at the world, at yourself, but carrying that anger to try to be better and move forward.”

“And Unfinished is about the fans being his reasons to live and IT MAKES ME VERY EMOTIONAL THAT THIS IS HOW THE ALBUM ENDS!!!!!!! WITH HOPE!!!!! AND MOVING FORWARD!!!!! THEY LITERALLY ENDED THEIR ALBUM THAT’S ABOUT THEM ‘MAKING THEIR MARK ON THEIR WORLD’ WITH LIGHT AND HOPE AFTER LIKE TWO STRAIGHT ALBUMS OF /DEPRESSION/. EVERYBODY GO HOME WE LOVE HEALING IN THIS HOUSE.”

AND THAT’S THE END FOLKS!!!! if you made it here thank you so much for reading my ramblings and i appreciate u so so much <3 i hope you learned something new about the gazette’s music (i sure did - it’s why i went on this marathon in the first place!!) and again i have a list of posts i might write (which will definitely be shorter than these) so! yeah! anyway!! it’s past 11pm and i have no more brain cells. thanks again love ya have a good day/night <3 <3