#just as i dont think she ever meant to truly kill raoul since that would Hurt christine and she does Not want to hurt christine

[rucow]

processing poto through my autistic eyes feels rly strange tbh, because im aware that im in the minority when i see the phantom as a victim and as someone who is fairly reasonable (depending on which adaptation you view as being "canon", i suppose)

i mean, i see her as being disabled, obviously physically but also beyond that. it makes sense to me that her trauma, her ptsd to be more exact, would cause her to be unable to just go out there into the world and live life as other people do. the confident "phantom" act she puts on is just that, an act. as is the guiding angel act she puts on. she intentionally plays the role of a villain because that's what she's familiar with and its what she can be in control of, as sad as that sounds. we never get to see her true identity because she hides under these roles that give her a sense of control. if you see her as autistic like i do, you could say she's masking (very fitting term for her btw). the fact that she goes the whole story remaining nameless is so :( to me .. saying christine's name is her Thing, yet she never said her own name. probably bc shes completely disconnected from her identity, ough

idk if im going to sound insane or what, but i see her reactions as pretty reasonable? referring to her lashing out at christine when she unmasks her and stuff. her initial reaction of pushing christine away is, in my perspective, very realistic and its something ive definitely done (not aggressively though) when my boundaries were stepped over, even if the person's intention wasn't bad :') in my perspective as someone with ptsd, putting distance between yourself and a perceived threat (whether real or imaginary) is the first thing you do, its your initial defense mechanism. and i wish the phantom's reaction to christine unmasking her wasn't seen as something premeditated, as something done on purpose, because i don't think it was