#just a wee dumb lil thing

[greenorangevioletgrass]

Hi :) can you write sth for cyclone. he is so underrated. total as*hole to all world but big softie for his girl

Oh, absolutely!! We don’t talk about him enough and between you and me, i would 1000% go Hamm on his Jon 😝

but listen. The thing about Cyclone is that he’s always been a grumpy fuck. He sports a permanent scowl at work, and good luck on inviting him to an after-work thing.

Which is why seeing him drink at the bar alone is a rare sight.

And seeing him talking to and beaming at the young bartender… well.

In his defense, you’re very pretty. Much too young than what he’s used to, but then again he’s used to a shitty marriage with an ex in his age bracket. And you’re so pretty, moving behind the counter as you effortlessly banter with him.

“So… Beau? With a regular spelling or the French one?” You ask as you make somebody else’s ordered.

“‘B-E-A-U’, the right one.”

It makes you chuckle. “You from the South?”

“Yeah, actually. Texas.”

“Ah, so you’re one of those French Southerners. The one with the big ranches and, uh… questionable ancestry.”

He smiles into his Scotch. Gosh, he loves how ballsy you are with your jokes. He can’t help but lean into it. “Well, I wouldn’t say we all married our cousins… but there was a time where—when it’s time to to get hitched, we didn’t have a whole lot of options.”

“Oh no! Is that why it didn’t work out with your ex-wife?”

Beau just about loses it. He tips his head back laughing. Nobody had ever dared to talk to him that way… and he actually liked it.

“No, seriously. You didn’t marry your cousin, right…?”

“No! Sweet Jesus…” he shakes his head, his full laughter slowly dissipating into a chuckle.

“Dude, are you seeing this shit?” Coyote blindly nudges Payback and Fanboy at their booth across the bath.

Fanboy looks up to where his friend is nodding. “Huh. Ten bucks he’ll leave with her at the end of the night.”

Payback snorts. “Are you kidding? She’s got him giggling like a school girl. Ten bucks if he marries her.”

Rightly so, Fanboy and Coyote shoves a ten-dollar bill just a year later.

[frudoo]

A non Zombie apocalypse 141 poly

They find another survivor looking for supplies and decide to make her their wife.

I went a lil crazy on this one ngl

Warnings: Non-con/dub-con but nothing sexual. Fem!Reader.

It was that colossal motherfucker you saw first—the one you almost wasted an arrow on because of that creepy skull mask he wore. The big bastard was raiding your shelter, a little storage room in what used to be a department store. Believe it or not, the mannequins you placed outside of your hideout were enough to deter the zombies away, so you had a pretty good thing going. That was before this dumb brute decided to ruin all your hard work and steal your canned goods.

     Your plan was to shoo him away and tell him to piss off, but he wasn’t having it. No, instead, he made you carry your own supplies back to his shelter, where there were three other men to feed. Fuck, you had enough food to last yourself about three months, but now, with these giant men who no doubt have massive appetites? You’re lucky if it’ll last a week. 

     You’re sitting on a raggedy couch between the pretty man with the ball cap and another with a stupid overgrown mohawk now, arms crossed with a foul look on your face. Across from you sits the fucker with the skull mask, and beside him in an ancient recliner is a bearded man wearing a weird hat. Every now and then you let out an annoyed huff, earning yourself a pointed stare from each of them.

     “Are ye gonna eat summat, or jus’ pout like a wee baby?” Mohawk Man asks you through a mouthful of lukewarm spaghetti hoops. 

     You flip him off without even looking at him, earning a few snickers from the other men. If you weren’t so pissed off at all of them, you might have allowed yourself a little smirk. In fact, you feel the beginning of one curling at the corner of your mouth, until Ball Cap™ pulls you into his lap and traps you there with his strong arms. You yelp and try to shimmy out of his grasp to no avail. You go to bite him, but the second your mouth opens, a spoonful of beans gets plopped inside.

     “Swallow,” Skull Guy commands, covering your mouth with one wide palm in case you decide to try and spit it out.

     You glare at him the entire time, but still obey his explicit order because you truly are hungry. You give up on trying to escape the pretty man’s grasp, letting your body go limp. It’s probably wise to save your energy, anyway.

     “Good bird,” he praises mockingly. “Now, since you’re through bein’ a brat, I’ll introduce everyone. 

     “M’Simon. Tha’ there,” he points at the one with the mutton chops, “is John, or Cap’n, dependin’ on his mood. Beside you’s Johnny, but we call him Soap. The one you’re sittin’ on is Kyle. We call him Gaz when he’s bein’ a dick, though.” 

     You nod like you’re paying attention, using his distraction as an opportunity to steal the can of beans from his hand. It’s a weird group, for sure, but aside from the fact that they’re thieving bastards, it might be nice to have more humans to help protect you from the hoards of the undead. It’s a step up from mannequins, anyway. Perhaps it also helps that they’re all insanely attractive.

     “Wha’ aboot ye, hen? Go’ a name?” Mohawk Man—or, Johnny, apparently—asks with a cheeky grin. 

     Before you get the chance to tell him your name, the one with the mutton chops, John, interrupts you. 

     “No matter, is it? We’ll call her our wife soon enough.”

     You nearly drop the can of beans when you process the words that just came out of his mouth, choking on the bite you just took. Kyle pats your back until your little coughing fit ceases, and Simon wipes the sticky residue from your mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie. None of them, you observe, are as baffled by John’s statement as you are. It makes a weird feeling churn in your gut.

     “A-all… all of you?” You stammer nervously, then start again with a lilt of confusion in your voice. “Wife?!”

     “Yes, dove, all of us,” Kyle confirms, confiscating the can of beans from you and setting it on the ground. 

     “Aw, don’t look so scared, sweetheart,” John stands from his place in the old recliner, stepping in front of you and lifting your head up to look at him with his pointer finger hooked beneath your chin.

     “I take good care o’my men. We’ll take good care o’you, too.”

[xsatoru]

count ��� kento nanami

TW: smut (minors dni), edging, denied orgasm, biting, lil tiny bit of pain kink, reader is kinda fucked dumb, and some wee degradation mixed w/ "punishment", you know kento's just sweetly mean and ultimately puthy drunk sjskkaks

A/N: bajsksks this is my debut on this blog and in the jjk fandom i'm saur nervous lol 🫣 but i had this thought n couldn't get it out my head...

nanami kento is the type to make you count — out loud — each and every one of his thrusts.

he's so mean, finding a sick satisfaction in the way you struggle to keep track. but of course, it's expected to be much too hard on focusing how many times his thick cock deliciously bullies the soft, gummy walls of your cunt.

kento isn't faring too much better himself, pussy drunk as always when you're just so tight and warm and wet. his dick slips in and out with ease, sweet hole molded perfectly for the hefty girth with how long he's worked to split you open. he loves to switch up his technique for shits and giggles, keep your cunt guessing, and that pretty little head of yours thinking despite the way it's utterly melting.

"f-fifteen!" you squeal out at the particularly hard but slow thrust that drags the swollen in and up, up, and up until the tip of his cock can relentlessly massage that bundle of nerves you never truly are able to reach on your own.

your lover keeps his hips flexed, pressed snug against yours and brushes back sweaty, disheveled bangs from all the exertion. he can feel how he twitches repeatedly in tandem with the spasms of your squishy pussy, desperate to milk him for all he's worth and drain him dry.

he snarls, "what a greedy lil cunt," and braces his muscles. looming over your prone figure sprawled on the bed and calculates his next move.

"sixt-teen! seven-seven...teen!! eight... eight... eight...!"

oh, kento's brutal. he laughs without humor, hips only continuing to pick up their onslaught of a pace. aggressive thrusts that cause your cunt to pitifully weep and squelch in delirium. the rate at which he slams into you would almost hurt if he thankfully wasn't cushioned between your plush thighs, a crazed smile growing on the depraved man's handsome face at the way your tits jiggle in time with the sound of skin smacking harshly against skin.

"silly thing, fucked too dumb to count properly." then he coos, sarcastic words laced in faux saccharine. "are two-digit numbers too hard for you?"

you whimper, tears pooling in your eyes and cling to his broad shoulders. "ken, kento... ah, please!"

"let me help you, precious," he whispers reassuringly and your legs squeeze around his waist in appreciation and anticipation.

your darling, lovely, wonderful kento. surely, he'll let you finally cum...!

the weight of his strong body pushes your back deep down into the mattress, pelvis flush against yours. happy trail tickles at your sensitive, puffy clit. he doesn't pull back no matter how much you whine and writhe beneath him, pussy clenching uncontrollably at another ruined orgasm.

curse his damn stamina and sadistic attitude!

"kento, no...!"

"and how many was that?"

"f-four," you sniffle pitifully.

"smart baby, what a lucky guess. so you do know how to count!

he rewards you with a nip to your tender breast, slightly taking away the pain of edging with a sting elsewhere. with it comes a muddled clarity that will help clear your brain.

it's all part of the game. and nanami kento is a man that never loses.

"shall we try double-digits again?" he teases, adoring the way your eyebrows scrunch and your lower lip juts out in a pout. even more in love with the scratches of honor from your nails digging into his back when he begins to grind against you. "something tells me you just might finally get it right this time, sweetheart."

xsatoru: August 2023 ©

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

K. Canon has it that the Togami family heir is supposed to choose at least 15 partners to have children with so that said children can compete to become the next heir. Byakuya’s father had 108, but that’s beside the point I’m making, which is that: Byakuya agreed to seal himself within the academy walls forever WITH FIFTEEN OTHERS. He chose his partners, whether he remembered it or not. Adding greater context to that alternate ending where everyone has children with each other.

Oh yeah! I think I recall hearing of this interpretation before! 'Tis an interesting lil thought experiment. It's not my personal interpretation of the events but it's an intriguing take! In this specific interpretation, I could see Byakuya treating this as just a task to complete. No actual connection is there. Just do the deed, make the baby! Get in, get out. Like clocking out of a boring job. No passion, no attachment. Nada. Or least, nothing planned or anything! Also, wasn't sure where to add this but I am semi sure that the 108 number came from those Togami novels which is just a foggy observation of mine. Also remember the specific number from Super Danganronpa Goodbye Despair in those free time events with Twogami. (prob shouldn't be asking this right after I woke up O-O) One other thing I shall say is that, once the killing game occurs and all, could be an interesting thing going on like, will Byakuya EVER remember that he, yes, chose to be sealed away with the other 15 but SPECIFICALLY with the thought of breeding purposes? Cus, memory loss can be messy and those little details might be lost. Also, there could be misremembering of some events or wording as well. And, if he DOES remember, will he have strong opinions about it? Would he just shake his head and sigh for his younger self being so naive that a plan like that could even work or be feasible? Stuff like that! Just sending this little question out there for the thought experiment though cus golly... I don't have any answers of my own. Also, since the bad ending of THH was mentioned, I must delve into this once more. Here it is for everyone's viewing pleasure!

Still goofy to me how Kodaka just said that Toko just exploded. Rip. She got way too close to a Minecraft Creeper or something. What a way to go! By the way, I am unsure where to add this and like, I don't PERSONALLY feel this way since I don't really feel this way for others but, Hiro. I feel he has some untapped appeal for the masses. Like, I feel that Bad Ending Hiro is at least SOMEONE'S type.

Now, for what I was actually gonna blabber a bit about. AHEM I've said it before and I'll say it again! Bad Ending Byakuya! WHYYY? And how?!? Seriously, how does he look so precious?! And dorky too?! Cus that is the happiest he ever looks and the only time he's in casual ass clothes officially without the addition of some promotional collabs Danganronpa has had. And it's not even like, canon. Cus, bad ending and the real canon is where Kyoko lives and they all beat up Junko in the face! But aaaa! It crushes me so much cus that ending was so dumb and just a WEE bit cursed and also that he just WENT for it! Outta everybody there, Byakuya just looked at Aoi and did it! Side note, since this is funny for me to say. Kyoko had to die for this. Like, Kyoko had to die for these 4 to bang, Toko to go big boom, and Byakuya to look this chill and this casual for once and his dang life. (side note to the side note. he's staring at me and i dunno what to do/hj) Moreover, one other thing. Like, poor Aoi and her genes just did NOT go through. Cus every single baby is a mini-me of the others!! Ahem. Sorry there. I got side tracked. This got so disjointed after. That's what I got! Hope this was an okay and adequate response and that the entertainment levels were serviceable :D

[dcbutredd]

I noticed something. To the best of my (sleep deprived) recollection, I think Robin is the only major/og/classic superhero sidekick (at least in DC) to have a non-derivative identity? Think about it; Wonder Woman has Wonder Girl; Aquaman has Aqualad, Flash has Kid Flash, and Green Arrow has Speedy-- he gets points for the original name but the identity and costume are clearly derivative. (Also, kinda weird that the derivative names are all also diminutive, and Robin isn't.) You'd think he'd have been named Batboy or Batkid or Batlad or even something like Black Bat (Blue Bat?) (I also just realized why Nightwing chose blue for his original costume... Robin's egg blue... Am I slow?)

Meanwhile, aside from being a small flying creature, the Robin identity/moniker is completely different from Batman's, and doesn't even feature a suffix like his does (such as boy/man/lad/etc.) (Thank the gods we didn't end up with Robinlad.) The Robin identity stands alone, even among many major DC heroes... It needs no support or confinement from identifying information such as Woman or Man or Boy or Girl (Imagine if Superman was just The Super... Wonder Woman just The Wonder... Just Aqua... etc. Ew.) It is both unique to Dick, being his mother's nickname for him, and meant for passing on, being gender/age/etc. nonspecific.

Batman and Robin's identities/themes are also completely different... You've got the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder. Additionally, Robin's costume doesn't have any animal elements-- it doesn't even follow Batman's theme of the costume reflecting the features and/or color palette of the animal namesake. Where's Robin's dumb little beak mask and cape cut like bird wings (Hawk & Dove anyone?) Where did the green and yellow come from? And where are Robin's pants?

So what do we get from this?

Well, from an Arthurian perspective... I really wonder why the hell Kane, Finger, and Robinson made him this way. (Does Robinson being one of the creators have anything to do with it?)

From a mixed Arthurian/Watsonian perspective, maybe Batboy/kid/lad/etc isn't intimidating enough. Unlike most heroes, one of Batman's main strategies is to inspire fear and one of his main appeals is that he's edgy and dark and brooding. But why not Blue Bat then? Why a wee little songbird? (I know they were trying to soften Batman's image by adding Robin but still, they weren't trying to make him lil songbird soft.) Why the Boy Wonder, why the goofy (but iconic) color scheme and (I ask you again) why no pants?

OKAY I WANTED TO LEAVE THAT THEORIZING IN BUT I DID SOME RESEARCH AND:

Robin is DC's first sidekick. In fact, as far as I could find, Robin is THE FIRST superhero sidekick. It's not that Robin's creators were shaking things up with their sidekick... It's that most of the creators of sidekicks with derivative identities were being lazy. RIP.

Anyway, a Watsonian perspective (because let's be honest, what we care about is the implications on story and character,) and this is where it gets good... Maybe Bruce a. didn't want Dick to turn out anything like him, and b. wanted Dick to have the opportunity to develop his own identity, not living in the shadow of The Bat. We see other sidekicks struggling with not being The Real Thing... Thinking they're never quite as good as the original, always living in the shadow of their hero. Bruce was never asking Dick to be just like him-- that's the last thing he'd want.

Bruce was never the best father, but maybe, just maybe, he got this one thing right.

[ask-doppelganger-killer]

If cross is here, did the X-Event happen? Or did things go different in this Multiverse?

Idk it doesn't really matter to the plot of this ask blog tbh. but for the sake of the ask I will say that it happend but it was several years before. I have actually not watched all of underverse and am not the most knowledgable in that department (" -_-) if someone is willing to give me a brief recap of what exactly the x event was bc i am a lil dumb dumb sometimes. Just don't bully me for it. i am but a wee little gremlin dealing with weird hyperfixations.

[ninjadeathblade]

Moulin Rouge Discotrain AU (New Year's Special)

Summary: Our two directors have gone back to the city in time for their studio's annual new year's party.

Beginning | Previous | Next

Word count: 3,698

Warnings: Mentions of bad relationships, sickness, trauma

Author's notes: Yeah, this ended up being more in depth about characters than I thought it would be. But I bring you dancing! And a duet! So maybe you can forgive me? Also I'm hinting at the backstory I've been slowly working on for Empress. Anyway, in this chapter Snatcher and Empress are singing "Anything You Can Do" by Bernadette Peters and Tom Wopat (I do recommend listening to it). Anyway, enjoy! And happy new year!

“Sir, that's more than enough,” Owlice said calmly, refusing to fill his glass again.

“But lassie, I've only had a wee bit ta drink,” Conductor replied, voice slurring slightly.

“You've had almost two bottles sir, I refuse to serve you any more drinks,” Owlice insisted before walking quickly to someone else ordering a drink.

Conductor leaned forward, making a grab for the abandoned bottle of alcohol.

As if in a flash Owlice was back beside him, swiping the bottle away from his outstretched hand.

“Sir! Please, stop!” She protested. “You're already drunk and I'm sure you'll thank me tomorrow when you don't have a murderous hangover!”

The director scowled. “I'm not drunk. I'm just a lil’ bit tipsy.”

A flipper landed on his shoulder.

“I'll take it from here.”

Owlice let out a huff and put the bottle on a shelf behind her before walking away again.

“Angel, please stop worrying Owlice,” Grooves pleaded, sitting down on the barstool beside him.

Conductor pulled the penguin in for a kiss before stopping and eyeing him warily. “Yer not tryin’ to make me do anything dumb, are ye?”

“I'm here to stop you from doing anything dumb. It's why I'm staying sober,” Grooves argued.

Conductor shrugged before kissing Grooves. After a while he pulled back and frowned.

“Wait…you aren't gonna drink?”

“No, because you're already drunk and I like being able to make decisions without being affected by things I had earlier in the night,” Grooves responded.

“Yer really pretty,” Conductor sighed with a dopey grin, watching as the different coloured lights highlighted Grooves' features.

“You never usually say this sorta stuff.”

“Cause I'm a coward. I care a-” he paused momentarily. “-a lot about what you think of me. Don't want to muck up and say somethin' stupid.”

“Really?” Grooves asked quietly.

Conductor nodded enthusiastically, feathers ruffling as he spoke again. “You're one of the best things to ever happen to me, sweetheart. I dinnae want ta ruin that because I said something stupid.”

The music changed, playing a slower tune and Conductor excitedly hit the bar counter a few times.

“Our song!!!”

“We have a song?” Grooves inquired as Conductor pulled him over to the dancefloor.

“Christmas! Remember? We danced to this when it played on the radio at Roxie’s house!” Conductor explained as the intro of the song finished.

“That certain night. The night we met. There was magic abroad in the air.”

Conductor reached his arms up to loop around Grooves' neck as the two of them slowly swayed back and forth.

“There were angels dining at the Ritz. And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.”

Conductor leaned in for another quick kiss, missing Grooves' beak so planting one on his cheek instead.

“I love you,” Conductor whispered.

Grooves chuckled and dipped him towards the floor. “You really are as rare as a diamond, you know that?”

Conductor giggled and his face flushed.

“I may be right. I may be wrong. But I'm perfectly willing to swear. That when you turned and smiled at me, a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.”

They continued to dance through the instrumental break, with Grooves occasionally spinning and dipping Conductor.

“The streets of town were paved with stars. It was such a romantic affair,” Conductor sang along under his breath, earning a soft gaze of admiration from his companion. “And as we kissed and said goodnight, a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.”

He pulled Grooves down to him again, pressing a tender kiss to his beak.

“I know ‘cause I was there. That night in Berkeley Square.”

“Come on. Let's go watch the fireworks.”

Empress sighed as a giggly Conductor ran past, dragging a rather confused but happy Grooves behind him.

The cat raised her wine glass and takes another sip.

The owl almost never acted like this when drunk.

Whenever she saw him drunk it was because he was upset and trying to forget.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Snatcher asked beside her.

She turned and fixed him with a disapproving look, resulting in the ghost raising his hands defensively.

“Fine. Be quiet and mysterious.”

Empress let out another sigh and put her glass down. “We both know you can't stay quiet for long so just say whatever it is.”

Snatcher frowned momentarily before smiling at her. “Can you dance?”

“Of course I can, I'm an actress,” she scoffed before fixing him a look as the ghost offered her a hand. “No. Absolutely not. It would ruin my credibility.”

“Believe me, there are far worse rumours going around about you than what may spawn from you dancing,” Snatcher replied with a roll of his eyes.

The gang boss narrowed her eyes and decided to interrogate him about that later before placing her paw in his outstretched hand.

The ghost grinned like he'd won the lottery and pulled her onto the dancefloor before snapping his fingers.

The DJ looks confused as his music is entirely replaced by the opening chords of a song.

Empress shook her head with a withering look. “You did not.”

“I did!” Snatcher cheered, looking far too pleased with himself.

“We are not dancing to this.”

The music ground to a halt as Snatcher's expression turned sour.

“Please Em? It's such a good song. Plus it's kind of your fault for introducing me to your tastes in music. Come on, it's a duet too,” he pleads.

“If we have to,” she conceded.Snatcher snapped his fingers.

Empress lets out a huff of laughter at the outfit she's transformed into, marvelling briefly at the fine fabrics of the deep purple suit.

Snatcher's own purple body is cloaked in a dark red suit, reminiscent of her usual colours.

The music starts up again.

“Anything you can do, I can do better,” Empress begins.

“Ha!”

Empress briefly wonders if the ghost had a camera hidden somewhere, recording this ordeal.

“I can do anything better than you.”

“No you can't,” Snatcher replied, grinning ear to ear.

“Yes I can,” Empress teased, jabbing one claw at his chest.

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can,” Empress continued, noting with a tinge of anxiety that most of the birds in the room are now focused on the pair of them.

Oh Snatcher was going to pay for this little stunt.

“No you can't!” Snatcher looks a few seconds away from bursting into laughter.

“Yes I can, yes I can!” Empress argued, jumping onto a table to prove her point.

Snatcher walked toward her with a hint of challenge in his mismatched eyes. “Anything you can be, I can be greater. Sooner or later I'm greater than you.”

Empress let out a snort of laughter. “No you're not.”

Snatcher planted both hands on the table. “Yes I am.”

“No you're not.”

“Yes I am.”

Empress jumped as Snatcher dragged the cloth off the table.

Empress isn't sure what happened to the few drinks on the table.

She's too focused on how much fun she's having.

“No you're not.” The end of her tail smacks him in the side of his head.

“Yes I am, yes I am!”

Snatcher goes to stand on the table as well until the cat jumps back down off the other side.

“I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge,” Snatcher boasted.

“I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow,” Empress retorted, letting out a squeak of surprise as a tendril of shadow wound around her leg.

Snatcher stalks up to stand beside her. “I can live on bread and cheese.”

“And only on that?”

“Yep.”

“So can a rat,” Empress points out, gently batting him in the face.

Snatcher pulled a mock offended face before slipping an arm around her waist and taking hold of her paw with the other.

“Any note you can sing I can sing higher.” Snatcher dipped her towards the floor.

If it weren't for the shadows clinging to their legs, they probably would have both fallen over.

“I can sing any note higher than you.”

Oh. Oh she understood.

He was trying to make it harder for her to get air into her lungs because wasn't upright.

Well, too bad she was a trained actor and he wasn't.

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

Higher.

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

No, higher!

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

Snatcher's voice cracked as he continued. “No you can't.”

“Yes I can!” Empress finished the verse, pushing her vocals to their limits.

Snatcher righted them and stared at her with wide eyes. “How do you sing that high?”

“I'm a girl.”

A beat of silence.

A slow applause almost started up.

“Anything you can say I can say softer,” Snatcher challenged, as Empress pushed away from him.

“I can say anything softer than you.”

The shadows around her feet melted away but Snatcher fell into step just behind her as she walked backwards.

“No you can't,” Snatcher said just below his usual volume.

“Yes I can.”

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

All the while growing quieter.

“No you can't.” Snatcher's voice had grown to a mere murmur that she was straining to still hear.

“Yes I can,” Empress forced out between clenched teeth before giving up and shouting. “Yes I can!”

“I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker,” Snatcher pointed out, picking up a nearby glass of alcohol and downing it.

“I can drink it quicker.” Empress snatched up a glass and proved her point. “And get even sicker.”

“I can open any safe,” Snatcher bragged, leaning against the side of a table and dramatically holding a hand to his chest.

“Without being caught?” Empress inquired, leaning into his personal space.

“Too bad.”

“That's what I thought, you crook,” Empress whispered, before standing back.

Snatcher seemed almost flustered but composed himself as she continued.

“Any note you can hold, I can hold longer.”

“I can hold any note longer than you.”

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

Each final word lasted longer than the previous.

“No you can't.” To Snatcher's credit, he held the word for a good while.

Empress narrowed her eyes, smirked, took in a deep breath.

“Yes I-”

The word stretched in the room, earning fascinated looks from the audience that had gathered to watch them.

“-can!”

Empress gasped for air as she finished her line.

“Yes you can!”

The crowd applauded as she sucked in lungfuls of air.

“Where do you keep all that air?”

Empress pointed to her chest.

“Oh. Anything you can say, I can say faster.”

Empress' tail swept along the floor as she recovered just in time for her next line. “I can say anything faster than you.”

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can.”

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can!”

“No you can't.”

“Yes I can!”

It didn't even feel like words anymore, closer to a jumbled mess.

But it was fast and that was the important thing.

“No you can't.”

“Yes, yes I can!”

Both took a mere second to catch their breath before Snatcher vaulted out their - still clear - table.

“I can jump a hurdle.”

“I can wear a girdle.”

“I can knit a sweater,” Snatcher said, holding up a - miraculously appeared - bit of knitting and a couple needles.

“I can fill it better,” Empress bragged, gesturing at her body which now had the added sweater, the same colour and pattern as the scrap Snatcher was holding.

“I can do most anything…” Snatcher tried as Empress trotted back over to him.

“Can you bake a pie?” She asked.

“No,” he admitted.

“Neither can I.”

The ghost prince grins as her tail swept across his nose. “Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter.”

“I can sing anything sweeter than you.”

“No you can't,” Snatcher said, words velvety as they rolled off his tongue.

“Yes I can,” Empress purred, running one paw up his arm.

Snatcher's eyes went wide but he fixed her a smirk before another rope of shadows tugged her closer to him. “No you can't.”

“Yes, I can,” Empress continued, brushing some of his hair back out the way of his face.

“No, you can't,” Snatcher said quietly, his thumb skimming over the back of her paw as he held it.

“Yes, I can.” Empress narrowed her eyes at him with determination.

“No, you can't,” Snatcher breathed but loosened his grip, the shadows melting away to nothing.

“Oh, yes, I can.” Empress stepped back towards the table, smiling as the shadows reformed into steps underneath her feet.

“No, you can't, can't, can't,” Snatcher growled playfully.

“Yes, I can, can, can,” Empress cheered triumphantly as she stepped up onto the table.

“No, you can't!” and “Yes, I can!” rang out simultaneously.

The music came to a stop and the room burst into applause and cheers.

Empress fell backwards into Snatcher's waiting arms, smiling at the ghost.

Snatcher's gaze softened as he looked at her before he seemed to realise something.

His eyes went wide and he put her down, quickly mumbling something that she didn't catch before leaving.

Probably just fresh air.

Coming down from her musical high was a jarring return to reality.

Oh peck she was wearing a suit.

A purple suit.

Similar to the one she wore when Majesty used to hold parties.

One paw flew to her mouth while the other shoved birds out her way.

She didn't need this.

These memories.

The nausea that came with them.

Not today, not tomorrow, not next week, not anymore, not ever.

Snatcher bolted the door shut to the room that was now doubling as his office.

It was on the owl side of the studio so it was unlikely that anyone attending the party on the penguin side that anyone would come looking for him.

He let out a string of repetitive curses as frost crept around the handle and down the door, slithering to coat more and more of the room.

Why was this happening?

He'd been fine with his powers recently, the curse hadn't been sapping strength the way it did when he first absorbed it.

So why did it have to be playing up now?

“You're fine, you're fine, you're fine,” Snatcher whispered to himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms as he paced around the slippery room.

“Nothing’s wrong, you're okay, you're fine.”

Slowly his form shifted.

It started slowly.

His legs faded away as he floated.

His body shifted shape as his arms stretched.

His hair shifted to a ruff around his neck.

“Peck,” the ghost swore as he realised what had happened.

He curled in on himself, pooling in one corner of the - now freezing - room.

Okay, no, go back over what had happened.

He'd realised Empress seemed uncomfortable.

He'd wanted to help her unwind a little so proposed they dance, which also turned into a duet.

Which then turned into performing in front of what felt like half the studio.

And it was great to see her smile at the end of it.

Snatcher's eyes widened as ice began to try and freeze over his still form.

“Pecking hell.”

He got up again, forcing his body back to his humanoid form to do more laps of the room.

He just had to wait it out.

Empress rinsed her mouth out with water from the sink before stopping and staring at her reflection.

Peck she looked like a mess.

She glanced guiltily at the shredded suit beside her before running a paw over the sweater she was wearing.

A knock sounded on the bathroom door.

“Occupied!” Empress growled, hating how clogged up her voice sounded.

“Auntie Em, let me in."

Empress strode over to the entrance of the group bathroom, opening it and glaring down at the owl.

“Roxie, what the peck do you want?” She demanded.

The young owl’s feathers were glowing blue, the purple markings around her wrists a rusty orange colour.

A black jumpsuit somehow didn't burn away from the flames that covered Roxie’s body.

“Roxie, where is your necklace?”

“I'm getting used to not having it. No wonder no bird wants to use the toilet with you being grouchy in there though. I mean seriously, did you have to take a whole group toilet?”

Empress sighed, closed the door and picked up the scrapped suit before reopening it and stepping outside.

Flames flickered on Roxie’s shoulders as she led Empress towards a quieter part of the studio.

“Your voice sounds different without it,” Empress commented as Roxie opened a door.

They stepped out into cool night air, far enough away from the party that it was relatively quiet.

“Yeah? So what?” Roxie snapped.

Empress watched as the owl wrapped her talons around the metal railing, twisting it out of shape from heat and pressure.

The cat slowly walked over to stand beside her, hesitating to put a paw on her shoulder.

As if sensing it, the flames died down until they were only pooling around Roxie’s hands.

“You know you can talk to me about it.”

“I know.” Roxie heaved a sigh, distorted by the sound of crackling logs on a fire. “So, I saw your duet. You two seem good together.”

Empress' ears press back against her head as her mind registers what's been said. “What? Me? With him? No. We're just friends.”

“Suit yourself. Maybe I'm just wishing healthy relationships onto other people,” Roxie replied.

Empress finally placed her paw on Roxie’s shoulder.

“You're always welcome to stay with me in the metro if stuff happens. Or I can help with the little ones.”

The one good thing that had come out of the gang she was first in; learning to care for those younger than you.

It sure was useful when she had to look after Badge when they were still kittens.

“Thanks auntie but I'll be fine. I'm moving to the city anyway.”

“Good to hear you're finally closer to home.”

“I'd hardly call it close to the metro-”

“You pecking idiot, I'm talking about your father,” Empress interrupted.

Roxie’s flames flared again and the cat withdrew her paw.

“Look, kid, your dad loves you. He was never good at showing that but you're his only chick. He's so proud of you. I am too. And I'm sure-”

Empress forced herself through it.

“I'm sure your mum is too. She isn't around anymore but if she could see the bird you've become- peck Roxie, she'd be proud of you no matter what you were like.”

The smell of burning finally left the air and Empress looked down as a pair of arms wrapped around her middle.

“Do you really mean it?”

Empress blinks as her mind takes her back to Scarlett's funeral.

When she first met Roxie and the chick looked so afraid and so alone.

“Of course I do, fire-starter. Your mum loved you so much.”

“Thanks auntie,” Roxie sniffed as she stepped back. “Um, we should probably head back to the party.”

“I'm going to stay here a little longer. But you should find your dad before he drinks himself stupid.”

“Okay. Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year.”

Grooves didn't know what they were laughing about anymore.

Both him and Conductor were curled up together on a bench by the bonfire that had been constructed outside and he couldn't help but notice how the owl's attention was waning.

Grooves stopped laughing as Conductor let out a yelp and fell off the bench. “Oh peck, you okay?”

“I'm fine. I've been in worse scrapes than that in me life,” Conductor said with a shrug, cosying back up to Grooves' side.

“It's nearly midnight.”

“Mm.”

“There you are! I've been looking everywhere in this goddamned studio for you!”

Both directors turned around as Conductor's daughter walked up to them.

Embers flickered around her clenched fists and the smell of burning wood radiated from her.

“I've had it up to here tonight so I'd appreciate it if you could stay sober enough for me to drive you both back to Grooves' apartment!”

Her gaze softened as she looked past them at the raging fire.

Grooves felt a shift in Conductor before his partner sprung up from the bench and grabbed his daughter's arm.

“Alright lass, we'll go. Jus’ make sure you also rest and take it easy, okay?” Conductor's words were rushed as he led her away from the fire.

Grooves followed a step behind the two, not understanding quite what was happening.

Probably something to do with their fire spirit blood.

“Grooves, could ya find us some wee glasses of water?”

“Alright darlin’,” Grooves replied before quickly pulling Conductor aside. “Everything okay?”

His love sighed and made a face before settling on an answer. “I'll explain later. I promise.”

Grooves nodded before quickly kissing him. “I'm here if you want to talk about it, okay?”

“Thanks sweetheart.”

“Love you Connie.”

“I love yer too.”

Snatcher flinched violently as someone knocked on the door.

The ice that had receded slightly began to spread again.

He stayed quiet.

Whoever it was would leave.

“If you don't open up right now then I am going to go to storage, get Conductor's biggest explosives and blast my way in there!”

Snatcher rushed to the door and summoned a small flame in his hand, melting the lock just enough to open the door a little.

It jammed against some ice on the floor but it was wide enough for him to see Empress.

She looked tired, a half-lidded look levelling with his wide-eyed panic.

“Come on. I want to go home.”

Snatcher opened his mouth to say something before deciding better of it.

He shifted his form so he was thin enough to slip out.

“You could've just opened the door more.”

Snatcher's eyes welled with tears as he replied. “You should go home. I'm going to go to the forest for a little while.”

Empress reached for his shoulder as he dragged the door closed.

He jerked away from her touch.

“I'm sorry.”

It seemed like mere seconds before he was back in the forest.

The ghost scowled and set off towards the manor.

Something there might help.

He hoped.

[tabbysdumb]

Oooh I'm obsessed with your OC Raeve. what's his deal?? what order of kr is he?? I'd love to know more he is very handsome and cool

Wahhh thank you I'm trying to pull back my depression. Raeve is my Lil guy.

Raeve grew up from a small lower class light eye family. His main friend growing up was a parshman child who was raised to be his servant. He was born into a light eye family as a dark eyes due to his mother cheating. His parents hoped they could marry him off to another light eyes as their best hope from him. He is trans tho and obviously this wasn't what he wanted. He didn't mind the feminine life style of learning to read and write and learn scholarly things. He just hated having to do so as a women because that's what he was born as. As he grew up the more he lost. His friend became more of a shell than a person he had to follow the customs of the feminine life and then his parents ended up finding a family to marry him off to.

He then made a scene taking off hid glove and curring his hair in front of his parents. Stating her wasn't going to marry and wasn't going to stay living as a woman.

His dad decided that it he would prefer a dead child over the embarrassment that would come from a dark eyed child that wasn't even his.

This is how Raeve got his scars. His friend ends up saving him he bonds to an ashspren and gives him time to get away. Raeve being injured and scared he ended up bonding with beacon and falling into shadesmar. Where beacon ends up helping him heal and get back.

here's a little part im building nor sure how i wanna plan this out

Raeve becomes an assassin in part to travel and record more of the animal and plant life because that's what he enjoys. He ends up going back to kill his dad his dad having a shade blade. Raeve takes it from when he goes. Its does scream like the others for him. It's more like crying and begging for help. It's his friends spren. He's used it from time to time. And the moments he's gone to shadesmar he's see the dead spren following him.

Here's beacons shadesmar first draft of his design. raeve is a willbringer.

And that's everything I have on him so far. Still building and editing his story as I learn more because I'm a wee bit dumb. But wahhhh I love when others are interested in my ocs. It warms my little heart.

Hope you enjoyed this Lil thing with my Lil raeve doodles ignore spelling or grammar issues and the color mistakes because u used aggie for some of these doodles and it's hard to pull the colors you need the first image is his official color choices.

[devouring-hive]

"Worry not, my darling. Your sister's both strong and durable, she'll make-do just fine, you see." Malnutrition and a lack of sleep might point at the opposite really, but she's trying very hard not to appear weak... weaker, in front of her lil' sis.

...Flandre's not dumb, she knows, but the pretense, flimsy as it is, helps keep things a wee bit stable.

"Uh... I would appreciate if you didn't eat the fairy maids, they get a little mad about it... that one though? New hire, you can get hold of her."

"Mnnh."

For all that Remilia has suffered, for all that she's waned keeping Flandre fed- The younger scarlet sister has thus flourished in magical potential, even if not in ability to properly control it.

She demonstrates as such, her hand curling in the direction of the fae and yanking it so hard toward her through the air via blood control that several of the joints in its back snap at once- Paralyzing it immediately.

"...Scrawny." Then in another demonstration- Blood from several of the surrounding, similarly-paralyzed (albeit in fear) fae flows out and into the chosen meal, swelling her like an increasingly-violet balloon.

Only once the poor creature is visibly straining to stay together, and the surrounding maids have collapsed from blood loss, does Flandre finally strike: Her maw opens wide like a horrid abyss, jaw loudly cracking as it distends to take the swollen fae in whole.

Ghlph.

[safyresky]

meant to reblog this HOURS ago but got VERY distracted with Adulty Productivity™ (happy to report my kitchen is once again SPOTLESS and we have forks again, AND my hair is clean as FUCKKK) and then falling asleep on the couch due to too much productivity. Imma have to reblog this again in the morning bc I need EVERYONE to see A) lmelodie's amazing (as always) art and B) I need EVERYONE to see Fiera and Chimera being lil buds SO, SO BADLY

BECAUSE GIRL, SAME! THIS WAS MY THOUGHT TOO! FIERA WOULD LOVEEEEEE CHIMERA (Jacquie's a wee bit scared/intimidated by her, as happens to the poor thing when faced with a woman who could easily kill her, and Fino's impartial ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. He's like ye, she's alright.) LIKE, SHE'D ADMIRE THE FUCK OUT OF MERA! I'VE ALSO BEEN THINKING ABOUT OLDER FIERA A LOT (and older Fins! He a hansy lil magician!)

I'M LITERALLY ESTATIC THAT YOU THINK FIERA N MERA WOULD BE BUDS TOO! VERY MUCH YES, THAT'S HER WEIRD AUNT SHE VIBES WITH! YES! Gah, this is such a cute doodle dump and Fiera and Mera blowing fire breath I just. SCREAMING IN THE GROUPCHAT.

AND SPIDEY JACQUIE AND SPIDEY KILLIAN! LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!

I'm ALSO a v big fan of Jack turning into elements lmao. ESPESH air and wind! I vibe with that too, tf! Get out of my head!!! (jkjk plz hang out there all u want, love being on similar wavelengths, it is DELIGHTFUL)

(the thought of Jack and Jacqueline getting into trouble or caught doing something silly/sneaky/dumb and Jack just POOF turns to air while Jacqueline just POOF and turns into snow is STELLAR. I mujst bequeath this mental image to you now!)

Doodle Dump lets gooooo! Haven't been drawing as much lately so it been a little bit since one of these appeared. Let's get into it

The underlying theme for this one is: What if Older!Fiera and Chimera were friends or something? And now they ARE (to me at least). Idk it just seems like they would vibe. Like a weird, kinda estranged auntie type figure.

I feel like Chimera has a lot of advice about guys that Fiera could listen to. She didn't peg her for one to be so head over heels with such a normal guy. But she's happy for her none the less.

Chimera can also breathe fire! It's always green and the both of them together is a whole smoke show.

Also, I have no idea if I'm gonna keep giving Fiera Jacks little hair flippy thing. I'm still on the fence about it, so you'll probably see it come and go lol.

OK I HAVENT YET WATCHED ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE. I KNOW THAT ITS A TRADGETY. But I wanted to play around with spidersona designs for Kills and Jacquie anyway. Cause they would be very cool conceptually. Arachnophobia and Snowspider everyone!

Stands to reason that if you have telekinesis that you'd be able to lift yourself around, right? This might make it into CC or it might not. Still on the fence about that particular ability lol. But Jack being able to turn into air and wind is just something a really vibe with.

[hhawks]

𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔡 — HHAWKS' 2K EVENT.

you know i had to do it to ‘em. in honour of my wonderboy’s birthday (and my hitting 2k!!!) i’m hosting a lil collab all about my boy keigo takami. the resident hawks fucker (me) holds a g*n to your head and asks you to say happy birthday to this stupid dumb motherfucker

this collab is all about hawks. open to any medium of art, writing, moodboards, anything as long as it centres around this best boy. it doesn’t have to be birthday centric, just anything about hawks! 

GUIDELINES:

♡ nsfw works permitted and Welcomed; all characters have to be depicted 18+ (which isn’t hard because hawks is canonically 22) ♡ MUST be 18 to participate; age indicator in your bio or pinned post ♡ send me an ask or a dm to join! give me a little rundown/kink/prompt that you’re gonna use. reblog this masterpost once you've been added so i know you've read these rules <3 ♡ i want this to be a super free n easy thing so i’m gonna make the deadline 31 may 2022. just so you guys feel pressured to actually write it if you participate hehe ♡ when you post, make sure to tag with “owtw collab” and link this masterlist to your post! tag me in ur fic or dm it to me so i can reblog it <3 ♡ if this flops i never existed and no one is allowed to bring this up with me ever.

ok yeah that's all omg. say happy birthday to the love of my life rn rn rn

MASTERLIST —

♡ airplane mode by @niixxgliitchh ↳ pilot!hawks x flight attendant!reader (smut, semi-public setting (airplane crew rest compartment), one (1) non-consensual kiss, daddy & sir kink, unprofessional work relationship)

♡ bellyache by @hhawks ↳ hawks x serial killer!reader (descriptive murder, killing, wee bit of gore, clinical insanity tbh, INTENSE daddy kink, overstimulation, face fucking, somnophilia, mild dubcon)

♡ eram quod es, eris quod sum by @creepsh ↳ siren!hawks x fem reader (dark content, noncon, brainwashing, drugging, oral sex (f!receiving), loss of virginity, mention of breeding)

♡ we've got you pegged by @fuwushiguro ↳ sub!hawks x reader (manga spoiler (character death mention), dubcon, pegging, anal penetration, begging, femdom, mean reader, slapping, spanking, hairpulling, choking, cum eating, humiliation, dumbification, no prep, dick slapping, rough sex, noncon filming, revenge porn, degradation)

♡ @fleeinghawks ↳ dilf!hawks x reader

♡ @loyenne ↳ hawks x camgirl!reader

♡ @quaranweeb ↳ yandere!hawks x reader

♡ @vixenpen ↳ virgin!hawks x escort!reader ​

♡ @vixenpen ↳ hawks x doctor!reader

[zerguette]

Last thing to share, himst. Brain went Wee Wee with ocs so i'm leaving them all here before dissappearing another months. He doesnt has name, I just call him The Old [Colossal] Man. Got expelled out as a teen from his tribe, was too lazy to join others, got stuck in a slightly volcanic and very dangerous planet. Won't attack unless You look like a threat

[Warning: old drawings]

Dah'ka

She's a stupid tall girl that got Lost somehow in Earth and is followed by a dumb xeno that she named Bebé. She's not the Best of hunters, doesn't has that rank but She's good a fighting, yet after doing some stupid mess she messed It so Bad that now is being hunted down by her own tribe (eventually in her close to old adult years she gets killed by them). Knows a bit of english and spanish, very few. Will punch You to death. Shes beautiful when She's covered in blood and hunts down Bad people lol, or whoever seems *oh u fancy clothing human, gimme Ur spine* and thats it. Prob got used a bit to human life Even if she hides in the Shadow with bebé clinging to her back (allows this as the xeno only clings like a monkey and doesnt hurts her)

The only 2 Hunters I ended giving bit of lore

Thei-dai got a Lil intruder in his ship and now has to wander around with a baby Genius yautja that paps at him and enfuriates him.

Zabin is the first hunter Dah'ka faces, almost kills her if Bebé didn't appear out of nowhere(was following Dah'ka bc his dumb brain dubbed her as queen-) and killed him instantly by shoving his tail trough his chest and tearing apart part of his cords-hair

Didnt get a name, he's just- a baby, Thei-dai's intruder (ended being adopted son because, yeah) and he's this Lil boi that paps at the datapads in the ship, and sets the new locations to visit, upgrades Thei-dai's armor and creates funky things. Thei-dai and him end becoming their own tribe, they explore the universe togueter

INMENENT CRINGE

Bebé. Dumb xenomorph, follows Dah'ka, protects Dah'ka and misses Dah'ka as, first, these two get separated because Bebé follows his instincs an becomes a Queen, escaping Earth and leaving Dah'ka behind (feeling touched and sad), second, somehow Made a Bond with Dah'ka so he felt when she got killed

[goobtacular]

I was raised Jehovah's Witness, I left a long time ago, thank god. But, when I was a wee one I really enjoyed getting asked political questions. Cause I had a canned response that the elders coached me on, specifically for political questions. And it always ended conversations really quick. No one is ever prepared for a child to start excitedly proselytizing, nor particularly interested. Watching their faces turn from moderate interest to panic as the realization that I was prepared to go on for a looong time set in, was the best. Ahh the mischief, twas most enjoyable

I think it wouldn't be such a problem if there wasn't actually a hierarchy. Like if you treat a teacher like a peer, they can punish you if they want. Because they do possess authority over the students, and depending on your age, they sort of step into a parental role. They can punish you, in ways you care about, and their opinion holds weight to you, both as an authority and a 'parent.' It's a gap that can be bridged, but it's so rarely is. I was lucky enough to go to a shitty school in the country side, where the teachers had the leverage to not care in the slightest. But even with no incentive only like two teachers put themselves on the same rung as their students. I don't remember what my point was but I think it has something to do with how teachers are trained/taught. Cause when teachers are the first among equals rather than a higher class school can be a lot of fun.

I agree with you 100%. I didn't know about the ten o'clock thing but it's so on brand I'm not even surprised. To be fair if you're distracted in a way that distracts others, you're getting in the way. But I feel like most of the time that's not the case and they're just being picky for no reason. Like so what if you're not paying attention? If you're not failing the class, who cares?

The worst is definitely when you've got gym/pe first period. It's like ma'am, I just woke up I don't wanna climb your dumb lil rope and if we do anymore yoga Imma fall asleep

Heeeeeello there :)

General Kenobi?!?!!?!? You're a bold one

[gnocchighoul]

the undateables get turned into cats

(a continuation of this post!)

~

Diavolo

Man… if you thought Beel was a big cat… 

Diavolo is a big cat.

Literally. Like, you’re pretty sure he’s a lion or something. He’s fucking HUGE. 

His paws are the size of your head, and when he flops down on you it literally knocks the breath out of your lungs. He probably broke one of your ribs, but you’re only 80% sure. 

If you’re walking side by side and he leans into you, there’s like a 70% chance that you’re gonna get knocked on your ass. For your sake, I hope you have decent balance.

He definitely only lets you, Lucifer, and Barbatos around him while he’s stuck in this form. 

He also really is not aware of his own strength in this form. 

Everyone realized that when you and Lucifer showed up to the palace and Dia went to love-tackle Lucifer, expecting the demon to catch him like he normally does, but instead ended up tackling his ass to the floor.

Diavolo was way too excited about it.

Lucifer was miffed.

(You got it all on video.)

Without his goofy smile or laugh, Dia’s eyes are like. Really fucking intense.

Lowkey… he’s a little bit terrifying.

But.... he’s also baby. 

Give him snuggles. Smush his face. Kiss his big dumb nose. Squish his big toe beans. Literally just throw yourself on top of him and snuggle him like a body pillow.

He LOVES IT.

Lucifer is horrified. Probably considers ending your life right then and there.

Barb thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

(It’s not that Dia necessarily Enjoys the experience of being turned into a cat -- he’s just Very sure that Lucifer is going to literally devote his life to fixing this, so he figures he might as well try to have a good time while it lasts.)

Barbatos

...He’s very chill but is also experiencing the BIGGEST existential crisis because he doesn’t fucking have hands to do anything. 

Listen, he’s not opposed to taking breaks. He enjoys relaxing too. But there’s so much shit that needs to be done and he can’t do any of it and it’s driving him up the wall.

Not that you would ever know, though. He’s very calm, even if he’s screeching on the inside.

So it’s basically canon that Barbatos helps Diavolo manage his time and keeps him from slacking off on his princely duties he’s literally a babysitter 

But like.

Come on. 

Diavolo is not gonna listen to a cat.

Diavolo gets up to so much mischief during the time that Barb is a cat, and since the prince is so busy being The Worst™, cat-Barb ends up spending most of his time with you.

Lowkey it’s weird as shit having a cat supervise you.

He’s sitting deathly still on the counter, spine ramrod straight, tail wrapped around his legs, eyes wide and all-seeing -- just Staring at you while you cook. 

You’re pretty sure he’s judging you. 

He’s actually reliving the trauma of Asmo finding him in all of his feline-glory and abducting him to play dress up.

(Cat-Barb is the least likely to bite or hiss at anyone, and he probably won’t throw a tantrum over being turned into a cat. Definitely wouldn’t mind sitting in your lap for some snuggles.)

(Is Very relieved when he’s finally turned back into a demon, though. Never wants to experience that again and is Not opposed to punishing whoever cursed him.)

(With Diavolo’s permission.)

Simeon

Don’t tell Asmo, because he’ll probably cry kick your ass, but Simeon is the prettiest as a cat. 

He doesn’t Totally mind being turned into one, either. If anything, this will make for interesting writing-experience. 

He’s way too nice as a cat. You don’t see his claws at all, ever. If he gets stuck in an unfavorable situation (cough cough, Satan trying to mother him) he’s more likely to run off than he is to put up a fight

He’s very graceful and quiet. 

Purrs when you pick him up, because he once heard that cat purrs are healing to humans. He doesn’t know if that’s actually true or not, but he does it anyways. 

He feels the safest with you, and definitely doesn’t mind when you scratch him behind the ears or hug him like a stuffed animal.

He won't just flop into your lap like some of the others -- most likely he’ll just kinda like. Weirdly lean against you. It’s cute though!

Honestly he’s gonna be content to just sit with you while you do your own thing. Maybe watch a movie or listen to some music with him, and he’ll be a-okay with it.

But.

If you give him catnip. 

he will literally just lay on his back on his floor for HOURS and knock the fuck out.

(Why do you even have catnip? I dunno, you tell me)

You assume that he’s dreaming about the celestial realm. Or TSL. or like. The secrets of the universe.

You can literally move his body however you want -- stretch his leggies, open his mouth, flip him over, pick him up --literally Anything-- and he just Will Not wake up.

Lowkey you think you might have killed him

When he Does finally return to the land of the living, he’s just gonna wanna snuggle u. 

But also turn him back into an angel Now, this has been a (mostly) relaxing experience but he’s ready to go back to normal now, thank u sdfghj

Luke

(Well at least he’s a cat and not a dog)

He is,,, the littlest baby kitten ever. Save him, dear god, before any of the brothers find him

Seriously, he’s so small

You can hold him in just one hand :(( he’s just a little boy :((

Don’t put him in your pockets or anything tho, he’ll be Very upset if you do. He just wants to sit on your shoulder and scream at the world with unbridled fury.

He’s a bumper car kitten. His lil tail sticks straight up and he has a lil round tumby :((

...

You know how all kittens are basically born feral?

Apparently, ferality also applies to those who are turned into kittens.

Basically, he still has the attitude of a chihuahua. 

Hissing, spitting, swatting--his instincts to just smack the shit out of everything and anything are Always operating at 100%. he’s a little firecracker. 

Does that thing where cats will hold something and kick the shit out of it with their back paws.

He’s very feisty. 

It isn’t a big deal, at least until Mammon makes fun of him and kitten-Luke LAUNCHES off your shoulder at him, like a little furball-missile of claws and teeth.

(Mammon just kinda catches him by the scruff and hands him back to you--but he does leave him alone after that lol)

His ears are basically always flat on his head, because he’s constantly Very upset with this whole situation and doesn’t want ANYBODY coming near him that isn’t you, Simeon, or maybe Solomon. He prefers you and Simeon, though.

He Might let Beel near him. Maybe. 

(If he promises not to eat him.)

kitten-Luke is the most likely to knead blankets and pillows (and also probably your leg). He has no fucking clue why he’s doing it, but he can’t stop.

I hope you’re prepared for joint parental custody with Simeon, because that’s what’s going to happen sdfghjklkg

Solomon

He’s very calm. It’s kind of unsettling. 

Will just sit on tables, watching everyone and everything in the room while his fluffy tail occasionally flicks around.

You can practically see the gears churning away in his mind while he observes. 

Will occasionally lift a single paw in the air, like he’s going to move or wants to say something, but then he will just sloooowly lower it again. Then just keeps staring.

He is the most likely to just wander off on his own. He just randomly vanishes, which is a Wee bit worrying, cause, y’know. He’s still shady.

You really don’t see much of him during his time as a cat. You have no idea where he’s going or what he’s up to, but he does occasionally bring you presents from his travels.

Even as a cat, he has the good sense to not bring you dead things. But you are a little concerned when he brings you a spell jar with glowing blue liquid in it. 

Like, what the fuck? Did he make it himself with his little cat paws?

Even after turning back into a human, he refuses to tell you how he got it. 

You keep it anyways.

Probably figures out how to talk with his normal voice, and scares the absolute shit out of you the first time he says something.

After he’s had his fun, he figures out himself how to turn back into a human and has you assist him with the process.

(Partially because he wants to study you, partially just because he likes you.)

[that-bl-bitch]

BL QUESTION TAG GAME

I was tagged by @ohmnomnom and @ommited-miscellaneously it literally took way longer than it should have but it's finally done ):)

Your all time favorite bl and why

The thing is my heart says bad buddy but part of me says that’s to predictable and it just ended so maybe I’m just living in the high of that but I truly do feel like it is the best bl of all time, I mean it’s my new number 1 of all time and for good reason, everything about it is so good from the acting to the storyline to the pacing and characters to how they handle and approach problems and situation they just do it in a way no other bl is out here doing it like truly no bl can even hold a candle to bad buddy like there’s no competition it’s just truly no other bl even remotely similar and that’s real rarity

That one bl that scarred you for life

Ok not a series, but a movie and that would be A cornered mouse dreams of cheese if you’re looking to be in depressive episode for a couple of days this is the movie for you, it is a really good movie don’t get it twisted but for some reason it fucked me up, truly sad that I cannot watch it a second time or else I’d rewatch it in a heartbeat but my mental health can not take it

Is there any bl that made you feel very single

A lot of BLs of course but the one that comes to mind as of recently is bad buddy, like I distinctly remember just sitting there talking about some scene or something and just being like “wow I never felt more single than I do right now” whatever it was it hit me hard

If you could Change one thing from a BL which one would it be

The miscommunication of we best love, like cause if Shu Yi talked to Shi De when he showed up in America everything would have been cleared up there I mean there would still be the problem of Shu Yi’s dad telling Shi De to stay away from him So like theres still angst for the second season but then at least he wouldn’t have thought that Shi De just went to America abandoned him, got married and had a baby for five years straight You know? I just thought that was just so sad for Shu Yi

That one BL you detest

At first I didn't think I had anything for this But then I was going through my lists and saw it, Boyband love now I KNEW this was going to dumb before I watched it and I knew it the whole time I was watching but for some reason didn’t stop, rather couldn’t stop like it was busting out laughing funny but it was just not suppose to be, I truly hate it

Your top five

-bad buddy

-ITSAY

-Manner of death

-To my star

-My beautiful man

In order to do this I had to look at all my BLs Ive watched And then put it into a top 10 in order to like narrow it down and like it’s kind of crazy because the fact that my beautiful man made it into my top five when I was so against it and so persistent on not watching this show for so long like it is absolutely insane

That trashy BL that you low-key like

Waterboyy listen hear me out I watched this and it was one of my favorites for like a while, I watched it very early on in my bl journey and It was before I was actually “evolved” in the bl community of it all (meaning before seeing peoples opinions and valid points that I just didn’t think of) so I think that’s why I liked it so much like at that time i just really didn’t know what was good and what was bad I was but a wee bl watcher I remember after a while that I watched it and I was more evolved in the community and seeing what people thought about It I thought they were wild I thought they were crazy cause like I watched it and it was good, But then people were making some kind of like valid points and I was like hmm ok maybe there a lil bit right so therefore I think if I watched it today I would have completely different opinion thus I will never rewatch it cause it will taint the version in my head

Your favorite Korean BL

To my star I don’t have a lot of luck enjoying kbls I don’t why like Ive watched a good amount and to my star remains my no. 1 and it was the 4th kbl I ever watched, I love this show so much it is the best kbl and I will take that to my grave I truly don't see anything else topping it but who knows there's a lot kbls coming out so

Season two? which one?

Honestly all the season twos I want are actually getting them or there are at least rumors but I guess I'll say Manner of death cause I'm pretty sure that one is REALLY rumored (correct me if I'm wrong) now I'll just say some 2s I'm looking forward to, to my star season 2 and my engineer season 2 (if thats even still happening)

But also your top 3 Kbls

-to my star

-My sweet dear

-long time no see

A bunch of dramas will air soon. Which one are you the most excited for?

A bunch really, but off the top of my head I would say.......

-Enchanté

-Love team

-Ocean like me

-cutie pie

Tag them: @ddreamzee @whiterabbit71188 @batcasss

[bnhatrashsammy]

“IT'S THE FUCKING POLICE WE GOTTA GO!”

Idea just struck me from another drabble I read! Would u want to write a lil thing where like Bakugo has an s/o or even just another friend and he's looking for them around the dorm and all of sudden he gets a facetime from chat and it's the bakusquad plus them but they all have gotten scratches n such because they were riding those little kids toys through a store parking lot and then security chases then out as there on the phone? Wouldn't have to be exactly that. Thought this would be funny!

---- @wolfkid22​

Thank you for the lovely request!!

I need some humor to get me back into the swing of things!!!!

tbh this probably isnt v funny but i laughed a bit writing it so hopefully you enjoy :))

Enjoy!

---

The laugh bubbles out from your throat without you even expecting it, the sight of Mina, Denki, Sero and Kiri all in a single shopping cart outside of Target is too much for you.

Sero has managed to fit himself into the baby seat of the cart, Denki is lying on the bottom of the cart, looking all cramped but with a huge smile on his face. Mina and Kiri are both in the main area of the cart, reenacting the scene from the titanic.

“And IIIIIIII will alwayssss, love youuuuu!!!” Sero sings out dramatically, putting his hands over his heart as he leans backwards to watch the two dumbasses.

You try to control your laughter as you walk back up to them, placing your hands on the car and pushing, which took way much more effort than you’ve used in a hot minute, zooming the cart full of idiots along the parking lot.

“(Y/N)! WAIT I'M GONNA FALL-” And now denki is on the ground, laughing while holding his elbow.

A good friend would have stopped to make sure he was okay, however you are his best friend, so of course you change your path to try and run him over with the cart.

“She’s gone mad!” Mina calls out pushing her way to your end of the cart.

“Wee.” Sero pipes in with the most monotone voice as he raises his hands up in his baby seat.

Denki is screaming for his life, but you pretend not to hear it. 

----

Somehow, you’ve managed to spend about half an hour just in the parking lot. 

And who the actual fuck knows how you managed to trade Sero spots and end up in the baby seat.

“This is PAYBACK!” Denki calls out from in front of you before pushing the cart with all of strength, sending you and mina both flying into the parking lot, hitting a curb and flopping through the air and onto the ground.

Although, you are pretty sure you’re hurt, you just fucking laugh like it’s the funniest thing to you.

Mina of course is basically pissing herself with laughter as she’s away from the cart where she had landed.

However, you are still flopped on the ground, them thicc ass thighs (yum), stopping you from leaving your newfound prison. Kiri and Sero are both laughing until they manage to calm down long enough to come over and flip the cart back upright, with you still in it.

“I-” Your own laughter cuts you off, “I can’t get out-”

You try to wiggle out and escape, but alas, you are one stuck dumb bitch currently.

“Holy shit, no way,” Sero giggles out, attempting to lift you from the seat.

You don't budge.

Which is obviously the most hilarious thing to your friends as they all fucking die again, loud wheezing laughter leaving their lips.

Your phone goes off in your pocket, and you calm yourself slightly before seeing it was a text from your lovely boyfriend. Instead of just texting him back, you decide to facetime him, with the biggest grin on your face.

He picks up on the 2nd ring like usual.

“Dumbass where the fuck are you?” His words are immediate, causing you to chuckle a bit. Before you can even reply he speaks up again, “Wait- what the fuck happened to your face? Are you okay?”

Your heart melts at his concern as an embarrassed smile takes over your face, a few giggles coming out, “Uhm, i'm kinda stuck in a shopping cart, and Denki decided to yeet me across the parking lot.”

Mina’s face pops up beside yours, “They were placed in the baby seat, for they are the true baby.” Mina’s face is so serious that it causes you to laugh, along with Denki.

Bakugou looks like he has a small smile for a solid second before he scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Don’t be so childish, you were supposed to be back at the dorms an hour ago so we could study-”

A loud voice yells out, drawing your attention to it.

There are 3 security guards walking towards you, and although they’re barely visible due to how far you are from them, you instantly stuff your phone back in your pocket, turning to Kirishima,.

“IT'S THE FUCKING POLICE WE GOTTA GO!” You yell out, which clearly gets everyone's attention.

Sero and Denki make direct eye contact before absolutely booking it towards to train station, while you struggle to get yourself out of the stupid fucking seat.

“FUCK, YOULL NEVER TAKE ME!” Denki’s voice is heard, getting further away, to which seros laughter also becomes distant. 

You continue to struggle as you send a pleading look to Kiri and Mina, who are both panicking out of their minds.

Kiri scoops Mina up, placing her in the main area of the cart before grabbing the handle and running faster than you’ve ever even heard of.

The yelling of the guards is slowly getting further away as you freak the fuck out in your baby seat, Mina laughing at the top of her lungs.

By the time you finally make it to the train station, you are stuck, Mina is asleep, and Kiri is going on about he has to be the manliest man ever for saving not one, but two, damsels in distress. 

After somehow getting onto the train, everyone still in their prior positions, it takes a few moments before the hilarity  of it all hits you. 

You’re casually chillin (while being stuck of course) in the baby seat of a shopping cart, while being pushed around by the manliest red head who cannot stop grinning, with a pink alien fast asleep in the cart.

What the fuckoli broski.

So of course you burst out laughing again.

It doesn’t really hit you how embarrassing everything was until you are being pushed/snuck into the 1A dorms, Mina awake and now standing on the foot of the cart so she doesn’t have to walk, casually talking with Kiri.

The laughter of the common room as you first rolled in will stick with you for years.

Even more so when Bakugou walked up to you, arms crossed in disappointment as he looked you over before he too burst out laughing.

Yeah, you couldn’t forget that.

The only thing you wish to forget is Aizawa angrily trying to free you from your metal prison, before he just broke the fucking thing and proceeded to tell you off. 

All while Denki and Sero couldn’t stop laughing so hard that they weren’t even making sounds.

It was worth having Katsuki extra cuddly afterwards, despite him saying that he didn’t miss you, he just knew you were doing some dumb shit again. 

Plus being able to see the smile on Katsu’s face as you relayed some of the funniest moments while he cleaned up your scrapes for you.. That was well worth it.