#just a secret love affair between two bros

[burntotears]

Okay but picture this: Hans' Wedding DLC where Henry gets to take Hans out back and fuck him before his wedding night... or even after.

[meowjaa]

✧ underground ✧

warning: swearing, alcohol, knife mention, fighting, blood, the undergound, levi ackerman x fem!reader <33 if theres any other mentions I forgot please do not be afraid to let me know :))

context: fem!reader and levi are in the underground in their 20's and as y/n scraped up some coins for a decent amount of food she bumped into the levi..

a/n: enjoy this but uh as you can tell I love enemies to lovers but enjoy my loves <333

Levi watched her go, fingers brushing his lips. "Likewise," he muttered to the empty air. But they both knew it was a lie. What had started as enmity had evolved into an undeniable, complicated desire that could no longer be ignored…

Y/N's breath caught as Levi's fingers grazed slowly up the nape of her neck, his touch both feather-light and searing. She tilted her head instinctively, pulse quickening when his lips replaced his fingers, trailing languid kisses along the sensitive skin. A soft sigh escaped her parted lips when his teeth grazed her earlobe, his warm breath making her shiver.

"We shouldn't…" she protested weakly, the words fading into a gasp as Levi's hands slid unhurriedly down her sides, thumbs glancing teasingly along the curves of her waist.

"Give me one good reason why not," he challenged, nuzzling against her neck, voice a low rumble that reverberated through her. His steady hands anchored her hips against his, the contact igniting sparks beneath her skin.

She grasped for coherent thoughts, but they scattered like leaves in a storm when his intense gaze captured hers. Up close, the cool gray of his eyes gave way to flickers of blue, dark and fathomless, drawing her into their depths.

"This will only end badly," she managed to whisper even as her fingers moved of their own volition, tracing the sharp lines of his jaw, fascinated by the contrast of soft skin over steel.

Levi said nothing, but dipped his head to brush his lips temptingly over hers. The kiss was slow, deliberate, coaxing a response rather than demanding. Y/N's lips parted helplessly, inviting him in. She felt his mouth curve into a subtle smile against hers, knowing he had won this round.

But as their kiss deepened unhurriedly, no victor emerged. They were both equally intoxicated, lost in this temporary oasis where only the two of them existed. Reality could wait a little longer…

Y/N took a steadying breath as she followed Levi through the winding tunnels of the Underground. He had unexpectedly asked her to meet two of his closest companions tonight. The significance of this invitation after keeping their affair secret for so long was not lost on her.

As they neared a doorway emitting a warm glow, Levi stopped and turned to her. "Let me do the talking first," he muttered. "They can be…overwhelming."

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "I think I can handle meeting your friends, Levi."

He looked unconvinced but simply motioned her inside. Immediately, a feminine voice squealed in delight.

"Big bro, you're back! And you must be Y/N!" A bubbly redhead enveloped Y/N in an enthusiastic hug. "I'm Isabel! Wow you're even prettier than Levi said!"

Y/N shot a surprised glance at Levi as he pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Fascinating. Well, it's nice to meet you, Isabel," Y/N said politely.

A tall, blond man approached next with a friendly smile. "Name's Furlan. Levi told us you've been helping out kids down here?"

"I…try my best for them," Y/N answered, astonished that Levi had portrayed her charity work positively. She noticed his gaze lingering on her out the corner of her eye.

"It's so great to finally meet Levi's girl!" Isabel chattered excitedly, making them both tense up. "He's been so secretive about you, we were starting to think you didn't exist!"

"Alright that's enough," Levi cut in sharply. "I just wanted you all acquainted, that's all."

But when Isabel insisted Y/N stay for tea and Furlan asked her thoughtful questions, Levi's rigid posture slowly relaxed. And the lingering looks exchanged between him and Y/N spoke volumes more than words. This was the first cautious step toward something real growing between them in the light, not just the shadows…

Over tea, Y/N found herself charmed by Isabel's vivacious spirit and Furlan's quiet thoughtfulness. They welcomed her warmly, and she could see why Levi trusted these two deeply.

As the night went on, Levi's hand inched closer to Y/N's under the table until their pinkies discreetly linked. The simple touch ignited Y/N from the inside out. She had never seen Levi so unguarded before, interacting with easy familiarity and even rare smiles with his friends.

When at last they bid goodnight, Isabel hugged Y/N fiercely, insisting she visit again soon. Furlan nodded in agreement, giving Y/N a meaningful look of approval she knew was significant coming from Levi's protective second-in-command.

As they walked back alone, Levi spoke first, voice tinged with vulnerability. "Well? What did you think?"

Y/N squeezed his hand, smiling up at him tenderly. "I think you're even more special than I realized, to have earned such loyalty and devotion from them."

Levi glanced away, unaccustomed to sincerity. "They're good people. Annoying as hell, but good people."

"They love you," Y/N said simply. Levi's eyes snapped to hers at the word.

"And you?" he dared to ask, raw tension in the space between them.

Y/N's heart pounded at the crossroads before them. Taking his face in both hands, she whispered "I'm starting to" before kissing him with aching sweetness.

As they clung together in the shadows, the boundaries between once-sworn enemies fully melted away, the dawn of something beautiful emerging from the ashes at last.

[onlyseokmins]

I LOVE CHOICE BASED GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which one are u playing rn!!!!!

Ooh, fellow choice-based players come out of the woodwork pls 🙏🤲 I need more friends to talk to abt them! So rn I'm currently hyperfixating on Love & Deepspace since I kinda slept on it my first 132 days, HOWEVER that's not really choice-based ahem so, prior to that I've uh, kinda played them all 😳 you asked... So I provided 😂 also pspsps, next fic of mine will be choice-based....

Anyways.... I currently casually check/play:

Choices: Stories You Play by Pixelberry

Would rec:

Bloodbound Series (vampires ftw)

The Nanny Affair Series (first one I read, sue me)

The Royal Romance Series (listen I was here for it)

A Courtesan of Rome (served cunt istg so good)

America's Most Eligible Series (got kinda stupid at the end like my love interest wanted ME to make all the choices and I was like bro no stop 😭)

Desire & Decorum Series (haven't finished the last one)

The Elementalist Series (still reading the last one)

Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance (I cried okay)

With Every Heartbeat (SOBBED)

A Very Scandalous Proposal (pretty sure cunt was served again)

Blades of Light & Shadow Series (haven't progressed much through the newest one)

Surrender Series (don't judge me)

Guinevere (kinda cute, sue me)

Immortal Desires Series (poly vamps maybe idk ftw + something new just came out but I haven't checked it yet)

The Cursed Heart Series (meh I like fantasy)

Alpha Series (I liked the first one okay sue me again)

Roommates with Benefits (I cried, sue me hard)

The Promise of Forever Series (didn't finish the second but short and sweet)

The Holiday Bakeoff (cute and short)

Plus One (didn't finish yet but sucker for fake relationships)

Romance Club

Would rec:

Soulless (I love the MC)

The Garden of Eden (for you kpop fans)

Legend of the Willow (Green flag Kazu)

The One Volume 1 & 2 (messy 💅🏼 ✨)

Hearts of Trespia (one of the few I've replayed for almost all love interests)

Song of the Crimson Nile (I like the beginning)

Kali Flame of Samsara (liked the beginning)

Chasing You 1 & 2 (loved the first one, the second one I'm stuck between Sam and Alex sigh),

Heaven's Secret 1 & 2 (I'm a whore, put me in horny jail)

Vying for Versailles (served cunt and was a whore again ✨)

The Flower From Tiamut's Fire (dragon whore sorry)

Arcanaum (I actually hated this but honorable mention)

Theodora (plot went brrr but I get it)

Rage of the Titans (idek but I think there was a hot guy also Greek legends <3)

Netflix Stories

Would rec:

Virgin River (really good and sweet idk)

A Virgin River Christmas (short and sweet)

Love is Blind (I liked this one)

Love is Blind Winter Kiss (short and sweet)

Emily in Paris (I thought this was cute I'm Ngl)

Perfect Match (kinda stupid but I was here for it)

The Perfect Couple (apparently choices really mattered and I stopped playing before being asked abt selecting the killer 😭)

Choice of Games

Would rec:

Fox Spirit: A Two-Tailed Adventure (cute)

On the Run; Rogue Heroes (sassy)

Professor of Magical Studies (I can't remember but I was stressed passing stat checks)

Heart of the House (blew my mind with the lore lmao)

Hunter: The Reckoning - The Beast of Glenkildove (I failed the stat checks so hard 😭)

Crème de la Crème (I wanted to fight the guy I chose as a love interest)*

Royal Affairs (I love being a royal)*

Noblesse Oblige (soft feelings I think)*

The Fog Knows Your Name (good story)

Atlantis Academy (mermaids!)

The Ghost and the Golem (I don't remember this one but I bought it)

* part of the same universe

Heart's Choice

Would rec:

A Pirate's Pleasure (sexy pirates matey!)

Forbidden Magic (fantasy and magical creatures!)

Ink and Intrigue (I love the lore also the author is super cool and has other great stories I haven't gotten around to all but there are also just some still in demo I think)

Brimstone Manor (DILF demon and angels plus I think it's free)

Changeling Parade (love the lore)

Hosted Games

Would rec:

Dragon Racer (idk if I finished this tbh)

The Grim and I (deep, made me sad)

The Courting of Miss Bennet (I was v sassy)

I, The Forgotten One (100/10 very good, looking forward to a sequel)

Fields of Asphodel (looking forward to the sequel!)

The Golden Rose: Book 1 (sequel when will you come to me 😭)

The Parenting Simulator (listen, I didn't expect much but I really liked it)

Waywalkers University 1 & 2 Series (I forget this one but I am pretty sure I'm looking forward to the 3rd)

The Fernweh Saga: Book 1 (looking forward to the sequel)

Wayhavem Series (I didn't finish Book 3 but it's pretty good and I think maybe a 4th is in the wips? Can't remember)

The Sword of Rivenia (I think a sequel or rewrite is in the works)

Blood Moon (a sequel is in the works)

And I have played:

Love Island (<- more of a joke at this point 😭) - the older seasons are far better than any new stuff... Stick and Twist is my personal only fav... Alex ftw, my loyal man <3

My Fantasy/Blushed - 10/10 would recommend My Sweet Omega Mate or whatever it's called, actually I really liked their stories but their app(s) got kinda funky now so I can't really read anymore 😭

Chapters - I can't think of one that stood out because they're so expensive and cliche, I think I only liked one or two friends to lovers (biggg surprise)

A lot of creators even have tumblr pages as well as those from Choice of Games, Heart Choices, and Hosted Games.

Check out my itch.io page! I have a bunch saved on there that are really good.

Interactive Fiction | Visual Novels | Interactive Fanfiction

There are also a ton of creators in general on here with WIPs (a never ending battle of incomplete stories 🥹) but there's been some chaos over dashingdon - the hosting site for a lot of ChoiceScript (Choice of Games coding) demos - being shut down, so there's been some panic and transferring to other hosting services. But if you want more recs just lmk!

[lovediives]

[running at the speed of light] Hi can i ask abt how the other mii fighters may think abt their relationship .. or how brawler and mage's feelings for each other have developed over time .. (@dmclr)

one of my favorite things is knowing who a nonny is before I read the ask. (Clara u are the best)

THEYRE SUPPORTIVE AND STEWPID ABOUT IT!! swordfighter is the worst because he's like "DUDE, YOU FINALLY SCORED A BADDIEE!!! ONLY TOOK 10 YEARS" and brawler is like "I want you dead." and swordfighter keeps joking about it and laughing with brawler. even tries to talk to him bro to bro. its so funny because brawler looks like he doesn't care but he appreciates it.

swordfighter and mage are silly. swordfighter keeps asking mage the "real" reason why mage was waiting and he has insane theories about it. always talking about "yeah, is it because you two have a secret.... AFFAIR BABY?!" and mage just smiles like "I wish ^_^" and swordfighter stops like... oh! but no... its so funny. swordfighter always believed that brawler and mage would get together and used to shut down anyone who tried to flirt with mage. idk some random: hey sugar swordfighter: LEAVE HIM ALONE! HIS BOYFRIEND IS BUSY!!!

like bro who are you.

GUNNER, I love that nerdy girl. she finds out after a week and slides over to brawler like "sooooo, mage, huh?" and brawler is like "I CAN KILL YOU??" and gunner just ends up laughing and not taking him seriously. ends with gunner trying to set them out on blind dates and being the world's best wing woman (she sucks at this) brawler ends up going to her a lot for advice bc dear Lord does he need it!! tries to buy accessories from gunner like bro just go to the store.

GUNNER AND MAGE.

gunner: do you have a crush on brawler? mage: yeah ^_^ gunner: go get married! mage: okay :3

NO but gunner is the one who was like pushing mage to not give up ever despite brawler being slightly difficult. like mage sucks at flirting sometimes and reading between the lines but gunner spells it out for him so that he doesn't lose the plot either. mage really appreciates gunner. but like, the funniest part is when gunner is playing wingman and mage pulls her to the side like "you will. stop this ^_^ you're fucking up my flow." and gunner ignores him and goes lalala, let's plan another blind date for the two of them.

theyre so funny. but their relationship was so slow. like... first its "I like you." (walks off) into "I like you" (stays there) into "I love you" (explodes but stays and shows mutual affection "properly" but they do genuinely take a while to properly show affection to each other. my funny little bunnies.

[meanypunches]

Regardless of the large number of entertaining qualities possessed (haha) by Late Night with the Devil, I suppose my biggest problem with this horror film is that it’s just not that scary. Yes it is entertaining and fun, but not scary. The critics and Stephen King love it, my guess is because no kind of humanity-affirming 'higher power' gets in the way of the on-air massacre. I say this without fear of spoilage because any discerning horror fan will know where this film is headed after a minute or two. It doesn't surprise me that King and his ilk are happy to see Jesus as an ineffectual bystander in this type of supernatural struggle. (Have you read Salems Lot? Not that I want to encourage people to give King any more money but buy it used.) Historically one could say this cuts against the undisputed heavyweight film in this subgenre (supernatural horror, or as I like to call it now - 'satanic panic' haha), which is unarguably the Exorcist (Warner Bros. 1973), a film likely so popular with audiences at the time because of the apparent presence (or a hero acting in the name) of a higher power to aid humanity against the forces of evil. The founding document or 'ur-text' crown for this subgenre I would say goes to Rosemary's Baby (Paramount 1968), which has a more similar tone and even subject matter to Late Night with the Devil, touching as it does obliquely on the entertainment industry. Rosemary's husband, if you recall, is an egotistical actor, insecure about his success. If you haven't seen Rosemary's Baby, go get it now, but we can say that like Late Night with the Devil, no one gets saved. This has been a trend for awhile now in horror, mostly since the 'insecure turn' in the late sixties (1968 we could call the big year for this), that horror is as they say 'insecure', paranoid, and generally pessimistic, or at least expected to be such by the biggest fans. What this means insofar as narrative goes is that, unlike classical horror tales, there is no resolution of the threat. Don't get me wrong, being a fan myself and having grown up watching such films in my youth, I am also a fan of (though not ultimately a 'believer' in) this Lovecraftian 'take' if you want to call it that, namely that the universe does not really care about humans and we are doomed at best to be ignored by the cosmic entities that could be lurking on the ‘other side’. When otherworldly entities do take an interest in human affairs, according to this rather bleak outlook, they are only interested in destroying us at worst and perhaps manipulating or confusing us in the best case scenario. This film utilizes such a Lovecraftian worldview to great effect, I agree. The parapsychologist character Doctor June even states this to set the scene: "These entities thrive on our confusion." In some sense then, this film shares that quality with these 'dark gods', namely that it is ultimately confusing. A few key subplots are inviting but to my disappointment are never fully developed. Jack Delroy’s connection to a secret society called ‘the Grove’ rings a bell with the real life ‘Bohemian Grove’ but we never get more to chew on despite such a tasty morsel of conspiracy theory / folklore. The ‘psychic infestation’ and ‘age regression’ therapy between the possessed girl and Dr. June hint at the false memory routine of the ‘satanic ritual abuse’ conspiracy tale. There are other links to real life cults sprinkled throughout such as the Abraxas cult (google it and its perhaps invented connection to the Marc Dutroux case) but ‘the Grove’ is where the demon claims to have first met Jack, though Jack somehow is clueless about this. Why didn’t the filmmakers give us more? Such a juicy tidbit practically begs to be exploited. If Jack is a part of ‘the Grove’ then surely he must suspect what is really happening here? But this suggestion of Jack’s connection to previous occult ceremonies is never revealed to be associated in any way to Jack’s current frame of understanding. Was Jack merely a pawn of the Grove? Did he miss out on all the rituals and ‘orgies’?

Was his wife part of some sacrifice for real? If he was a member, why did they appear to abandon him or mislead him? Does the Grove already own Johnny Carson and have they decided to dispense with the second rate host Delroy? Hmmm. These and other questions go entirely unresolved and thus ultimately to my way of thinking feel like a disappointment. The climax of the film, though perhaps arguably redeeming Jack to a degree, makes little sense. It seems that we (the audience members) are as clueless about the nature of this reality/horror as Jack. This goes along with the gnostic connection to Abraxas, certainly, the central gnostic tenet being that reality is an illusion. But again this is never developed completely and remains just an afterthought to ponder as the blood dries. Certainly demonic forces have manipulated our sense of reality. Again, this is not really a spoiler, but should we have turned off our TVs?! The “dream factory” as they call it has created an illusion, a gnostic hell for our amusement. Has the demon escaped from the ‘other side’ into the ‘real’ world? And what does this have to do with owls, skeletons and Jack’s dead wife? Is Jack getting what he deserves as a second rate success-hungry entertainer? Or did we, the audience, get what we deserve as mindless thrill seekers? Though for horror fans this is a fun ride, it all seems perhaps not so scary, because whatever horror just happened remains lost in 70s obscurity, with nothing to tie it to contemporary apocalypse. Perhaps this is meant to be enjoyed as an intellectual thrill at the failure of religion to keep at bay the dark forces, the triumph of television over the televangelists and the types who ‘panic’ about ‘Satan’. The most entertaining part of the film is the skeptic’s reaction to finally learning that superstition is real, but I won’t spoil it.

[anothersylvia]

Baby Don't Pretend Like You Don't Want This : PART 3

Info: Jack Harlow x Reader x fictional UK rapper / side piece inspired/NSFW/angst

[scroll to the bottom for the first two parts of the series if you haven't read them]

"I don't know man , are you even sure of what you saw ?" Urban reacted skeptically to Jack's story about seeing Jason get in a room with a girl back at the video set /party they just left.

"Can I keep it real with you ? I just feel like you shouldn't be getting involved " Urban advised.

"She was fine as hell you really think Jason went in there just to talk ?" Jack persisted.

"Either way what's it to you bro ? It's not your relationship " Urban remained adamant that Jack should stay out of it.

"Y/n could lash out and not even believe you " Urban expressed growing just a little annoyed.

"But atleast I would have done my part Urban "

"Jack be for real here , would you be doing this for her or for you and also how would you have felt if someone you were cool with went spilling the beans about you fucking y/n when you had a girlfriend "

Jack did in fact have to take into consideration that him and Jason were cool friends, not the closest but still , they had just developed a working relationship that was serving them both and Jack didn't want to even imagine the fall out that would ensue and cause controversy just before releasing a single. Jack was not a fan of using bad publicity or beefs to gain traction , he needed to stay on good terms with Jason , he had to consider the work both his and Jason's teams put into the coming release.

Urban at the end of the day had Jack's best interest at heart and just wanted him to stop and think about if implicating himself in this kind of drama was really worth it. In the end Jack went with Urban's advice and decided he would not involve himself.

If Jason was cheating he would eventually get caught. Jack would know given the fashion in which his previous relationship ended. Having to maintain a career at the top while living a double life was not easy and he believed that the longer he tried the more sloppy he'd get. Perhaps for Jason it was just a once off where he couldn't resist the girl but in the case of having an affair on the side Jack had experience on just how consuming it could get.

It had gotten to the point where you felt so good to Jack that he wouldn't even feel bad about coming home to his girl after he had just been with you.Sex was so good that he would be laid up next to his sleeping girlfriend reliving moments with you in his head anticipating what he would do to you the next time he would see you. At times if it made him horny enough he would have no choice but to initiate sex with his girl to silence that hunger that came with thinking about you.

When watching his girlfriend get dressed and see her naked that would somehow trigger Jack to think about you and visualise your figure. Jack would always smirk when a notification from you came in knowing his eyes were in for a treat.

At the time the thought of you being with other men would actually bother Jack and that's why he would make sure to slut you out to the max for you to always crave him over anyone else , for you to have him on your mind even as you'd fuck other men. Jack also loved the rush of balancing the vibe of taking each other down anytime and anyplace but being secretive and moving with caution.

Jack fondly looked back at all the heated moments , playing them out like a montage in his head , reliving the splendor. When he'd come over and could tell you were fresh out the shower wearing nothing but an oversized T shirt with your lotion fragrant in the air , your skin glowing under soft warm light and your toes looking pretty while tucked into some fuzzy slides. Having you look so delicate but knowing he would proceed to rough you up in bed.

There was the one instance between the two of you where after meeting and fucking when he was in the studio you needed a ride and Jack offered to get you home with his driver in his SUV.

"Spread your legs and let me play with it" Jack reached across from his seat stroking your sensitive parts under your skirt. You hesitated not only because your session at the studio already left you fucked out and aching but you felt shy about having a third person in the vehicle. Jack lifted your thigh up so that it rested on the car seat arm. All initial resistance instantly melted away the wider Jack pushed your leg open and stroked on your wetness. Your arm reached out for your hands to dig into Jack's curls while your eyes enjoyed the sight of veins appearing up Jack's arm while his hand was buried under the material of your mini skirt , maticulously pumping 2 fingers in and out of you.

The pleasure was immense and further elevated by you and Jack locking eyes. Jack knew just what to do to turn the heat up leaning over to suckle on your neck and use his free hand to massage on your breast while twirling your hardened nipple between his thumb and index finger. The multi tasking, the confined space , the stimulation and soft moans.

"See what happens when you let me play with it , see how good that feels ?" Jack was merciless while taking tiny bites on your neck.

"I love it when you play with me Jack" You tilted your head to meet Jack's tongue while talking and He responded by biting and sucking on your bottom lip.

"Jack!!" Urban snapped Jack back into reality trying to alert him of the fact that they'd made it home. He had zoned so far into the memory that it actually left him erect.

Meanwhile a drunk Jason returned to your apartment stumbling and falling flat on the couch. It didn't upset you much but as you took care of him , helping to take off his shoes and somehow get him into bed you couldn't help but detect a feminine scent that wasn't your own on your boyfriend's clothing.

You talked yourself down from your suspicions for the rest of night convinced that it was just the environment he was in all day while shooting. It didn't serve as any proof of infidelity or misconduct. All your time with Jason he had never given you a reason to doubt him so you brushed it off and settled into bed. You were startled at Jack's caller ID appearing on your phone , Jason was passed out next to you so you climbed out of bed to talk in the hallway hoping you wouldn't make noise.

"Jack?"

"Y/n I don't mean to bother you this late , hope I didn't wake you but Jason was pretty hammered when I left him , did he make it home alright?"

"Passed the fuck out as we speak" You chuckled lightly looking at Jason through the small crack of open bedroom door. "But he'll live"

"And you y/n ? You alright?" Jack proceeded to ask after a few seconds of silence brewed. You furrowed your brows a bit before answering unsure of the intention behind Jack's question.

"I'm alright thanks , are You alright there Jack ?"

"I'm alright" the two of you fell into light hearted laughter. A giddy aura fell upon you. You had no business letting another man make you smile this hard with your boyfriend few feet from you.

"Alright then " You further pushed on the alright word play

"Alright , night y/n" .

On both ends you and Jack were left with child like grins on your faces. In your dazed state you felt like you were floating back into bed just utterly consumed by knowing that no matter what your chemistry with Jack would never die and would always have an affect on you. There was no denying it

You spent two more weeks having Jason around before he was headed back to the UK and in those two weeks it was clear there was an obvious shift in energy between you and Jason. You were mostly responsible for the strange new aura and dark cloud that roamed over your heads. This was mainly because you couldn't shake the doubt that smelling someone else on Jason planted in your mind. With your past of endorsing Jack's cheating and seeing how picture perfect he made his relationship seem you started to question if Jason too was a master at lies and manipulation. Was your own relationship also just an illusion. The insecurity of being cheated on was heightened by the long distant aspect of your relationship. Jason could cheat on you in the UK as freely as he wanted.

"I hope you know how to multitask"

It was the morning Jason would be returning to the UK and you thought to give yourself a light beat before leaving for the airport. That is until Jason entered the bathroom initiating sex and positioning himself behind you in the middle of you lining your lips with lip liner. Jason wasn't naive , he could read the room and could tell you had been avoiding sex with him and opted to get some before leaving.

"Want to leave good pipe on my baby's mind" Jason's hands groped at your breasts as he grinded his erection into your lower back . You gave into his advances letting him give you a good railing. The way he left you it was going to be a few days before you could walk properly again. Luckily by the time you were set to spend a night out with a few friends the afterache in your thighs and lady parts subsided leaving room for you to enjoy your night out at the club. So much of your time was spent on the arm of Jason accompanying him everywhere that you couldn't remember the last time you got to spend time with your friends and go out without an entourage or bodyguards or people stopping to ask for pictures. You learnt via social media posts Jack was set to perform at the club you were attending and you subconsciously outdid yourself to look like the baddest chick ever. You would have probably not gotten away with such a revealing outfit if Jason was around but good thing he wasn't. You couldn't help but feel a little smug as you took a few snaps uploading them to your IG story.

"Eye liner sharp enough to cut a bitch" You flaunted your flawless make up look and straightened hair.

You and your girls were set up pretty well due to the clout of you being Jason's girlfriend. Men were eager to approach you but kept their distance aware that you were dating someone famous. It had its pros , you got VIP access and you were being well taken care of and could avoid crowded situations and move and dance freely.

By the time Jack arrived and was set to perform you had a balcony view of the performance watching from the top as Jack commanded the attention of the room under changing LED lights.

"I need to squirt on him omg" Your wild friend was throwing ass like the many other girls in the club. She was completely unaware of your sexual history with Jack which made the comment so much more funny for you because...... Same girl , same.

You chocked on your drink laughing but as the set went on and the liquor creeped in your friend's sentiments were starting to mirror your own. Your mind was slowly beginning to become littered with the dirtiest scenarios and ways you'd love to have jumped Jack's bones in that second. The place was filled with screams and adoration for Jack while your body was screaming within for a different reason. Your back was arching at Jack's every move and you could be certain if you were to check right now you were soaked. It was a battle between your conscious and desires and so far desire and temptation had you in the strongest chokehold. It didn't help when Jack's set was over and he and his mates were located in the same VIP area not far from you. At first he didn't notice you were there but your friend was eager to get a picture with him and begged you to accompany her. She knew your connection to Jason would allow for the interaction to feel less groupy esque and more casual.

"Fine let's go , but I'll keep it real with you , asking him for a picture is exactly what a groupy would do " You warned her. Bless her soul , she was just like any girl that was taken with the allure and charm of Jack Harlow and would give anything for a crumb of him , give anything to breathe his air. You couldn't even blame her. He was looking all kinds of scrumptious

"Shit y/n look at you ! " Jack embraced you and your friend failing to mask his lingering eyes.

"This is my girl , we out for a vibe tonight , she enjoyed your set"

"You already know how I feel about pretty best friend duos"

"I'll take that as a compliment" Your friend beamed nudging you a bit from her excitement. You could tell it was a major thrill for her. You acknowledged that you had more friends with you and were just passing by to say hi but Jack finessed you into having you and your girls join his section for the rest of the night. Normally because it was a VIP section you wouldn't have to worry about having bystander eyes on the situation and causing fuss over you hanging out with another man's crew and it seemed to be an idea that really thrilled and pleased your girls so you took the bait. The rest of the night went smoothly with your friends freely socializing and cozying up to Jack's friends. You and Jack kept a safe distance but the tension was undeniable. It was you pretending you couldn't see him undressing you with his eyes but wondering if you were just as much of an open book. Could he tell that if it were up to you you'd be on your knees letting him fuck your throat. While entangled in this web of temptation you didn't realise your friend was reading the situation and picking up on it. What you didn't realise is that in her mind she had potential to pull Jack. Without the knowledge that you'd been screwing him she saw this as her opportunity to also bag a well known hot rapper but her ambitions were slowly dying down as the night progressed and it was becoming painfully clear no girl would successfully hold Jack's attention as long as you had been managing to. She couldn't help but question what it was about you that drew these men in and resorted to constantly bringing Jason up so Jack would be reminded you were in a relationship and hopefully shift his attention to someone else , preferably her. You picked up on this and tried your best to mask your annoyance but your patience was slowly running out. You didn't realise just how much your friend's behaviour ticked you off until you were outside away from her and felt a sense of exileration and relief. The wind howled in the empty private parking area where you stood by watching Jack dig in the backseat of his Jeep for a jacket to give you. He noticed you constantly rubbing your arms to keep warm while inside and offered to fetch the jacket as a way to finally get you alone. You couldn't help but suck in your bottom lip as Jack's back muscles flexed under his shirt. He eventually located the jacket , it was a black leather Givenchy puffer styled Jacket that elevated the already chic bad and boujee vibe of your outfit . You were looking up at Jack with longing while strands of hair blew across your face and he towered over you draping the jacket onto your shoulders. The longing in your eyes matched Jack's and his eyes zeroed in on your lips he wanted so badly to reach down and kiss you but didn't want to misread the situation.

"We're both thinking it aren't we" You took the lead. Your hand reached up to stroke the hairs of Jack's beard with your thumb. Jack had to be 100% comfortable with a person in order to let them touch his face. Feeling your nails brush across his cheeks and neck while you cupped him and angled his head down to look at you served to weaken him. It was a reverse of how a year earlier he held you the same way that day he came to apologize to you at your place

"To be fair I'm always thinking it"

"If there was nothing stopping you right now , what would you do?"

"Fuck you in this parking lot"

You were taken back by Jack's answer. The only way you felt you could one up or match his energy was to push him back till his back was pressed against his car door and pulled him down by his chain so your lips could crash into each other. All the longing and build up couldn't have prepared you for how soul stirring this kiss with Jack was. If he didn't have a death grip around your waist chances are the rush would have knocked you off your feet , like literally. The Jacket draped over your shoulders fell to the ground once Jack lifted you up securing his large hands firm on your ass and setting you down on the hood of his car with your legs spread apart wide enough to accommodate him and give his crotch space to grind into you.Anybody could have walked right into this compromising scene but both your minds were far from concerned with the risks. This hunger for each other had played out for so long that in this moment nothing was going to eclipse the reward of this high. Jack was pleased to find that when you had your back pressed flat against the hood of his car and your dress was riding up and bunching up at your waist you were bare.

"No panties huh" Jack eyed you before spitting in your pussy and massaging the spit in first using his fingers then whipping out his dick without fully dropping his pants and using the tip to mix the fluids all up and down your folds. You sucked on Jack's finger that he first used on you , humming while he teased you. Jack was relishing in the visual of his precum being drowned out by your pulsing wetness but couldn't waste anymore time teasing you. He needed to lose himself in you

"I've been thinking about your sweet pussy all night "

Your entrance adjusted to Jack perfectly tightening around him as he lead himself into you. Jack replaced his finger with his palm over your mouth thrusting into you at a rapid pace. The force of each thrust pushed your breasts out from their covering and Jack was blessed with the sight of your free nipples dropping back and forth , up and down your chest with his hand over your mouth. Wind blew over the scene reminding you that you were in fact outside getting fucked on the hood of a car a reality that kept passing over your head because of how lost in the moment you were. It did thrill you that the stars you were seeing were real and adding to the magic . Jack was doing no better at staying in touch with reality. How could he when you felt so good. He was in you but still felt like he needed more of you. If there was a question on whether Jack could possibly go in any deeper than he already was that was answered once you had switched into Jack pounding into you from behind. Jack had lowered you from the high hood of the Jeep and bent you over slamming aggressively into you and feeling himself reach that sweet finish.

Jack's hand reached forward to stimulate your clit while he was penetrating you and he suppressed his noises by biting down on your shoulder.

"FUCK" you exclaimed with your eyes sealed shut. Desperate to have something to hold onto and bending your arm over your shoulder to grip strands of Jack's hair. You arched your back to meet Jack's rapid thursts wanting the feeling of how good Jack was hurting you to never stop. Your eyes stayed shut as your legs gave in. Every bone in your body felt like it went to jelly and you couldn't form a single thought. Jack left a trail of open mouth kisses down your shoulder and back before pulling out to bust on your bare ass cheeks and lower back. You lifted your head from your dazed and intoxicating state eyeing your surroundings.

"So .... You know how we gonna clean that up?" You asked referring to Jack's nut leaving your lower back and ass wet aswell as your own cum dripping down from your thighs. You were still bent over the hood with your back arched and ass propped up

"No fucking clue" You both proceeded to laugh at the comedic timing of your question. Jack spinning you around and pulling your dress back down.

"Jack ?"

"Get in the car , we'll take care of that in the shower". From the moment you and Jack touched no decision you made after that was exactly wise or thought through. You couldn't just call your friend's saying you left but it's exactly what you did while in the passenger seat of Jack's car. You and Jack felt like you were rebelious teenagers running away together and living on the edge. You busted through the door of his place kissing and giggling in between. Jack lifted your dress over your head and admired your nude figure. Eyes combing over you with adoration.

"I'm going to say something to you y/n"

You looked up eagerly. Ready to hear the words

"I fucking love you"

You lifted Jack's shirt over his head and placed a sweet kiss to his chest.

"And I've always loved you Jack. I don't think I've ever stopped or ever can"

From there the rushed and rough nature of how your link up had initially started took a way more soft and intimate turn. In the shower Jack was behind you rubbing circles and handfuls of shower gel all over your body while kissing your neck. The hot water trickling down your body paled in comfort to the warmth of Jack's embrace. He was touching your body delicately and really showing you his words from moments earlier were real to him. You decided to show Jack affection of your own by going down on him in the shower. You took Jack into your mouth bopping your head up and down his length with your eyes focused on seeing him pleased. You wanted him to feel like a king in your care. It pleased you to submit to him like this.

If anyone had told you you'd end your day back in Jack's arms confessing your love for him you wouldn't have believed them. Also if anyone had told you your friend watched the whole thing play out in the parking lot and captured it on video well ....

Author's note:

Okay I realise a lot is going on and we don't even know if Jason cheated on y/n

Now we got a snake friend on board ...yikes I know but at the end of the day this is a series so hope you enjoyed.

Part 3:

[inspiteallthedanger]

So from your India answer I took it to mean you don’t think Paul and John were sexual with each other. Are you in the John was in love and Paul wasn’t camp?

Well, there's the trillion pound question. Answer under the cut to save you all the pain of going over it again unless you want to.

FWIW I changed my mind while writing this out. Like. WTF.

The real answer is that I swing wildly depending on the day and my mood and if I've just read something unhinged that one of them said.

What don't I think happened?

That John was pining after an oblivious Paul who couldn't/wouldn't love him back in the same way. I mean, I can see this interpretation for sure. But that seems to rely on Paul either being a total, utter moron or an arsehole who kept John on the line for creative reasons. But he was way too confused by John and the breakup for me to buy that. That man believed he got dumped and then told he in fact dumped his soulmate accidentally.

I don't tend to believe they were ever having a secret affair that they had to stop for whatever reason. That would have required them talking about what was happening and challenged (especially Paul's) concepts of their own sexuality. I also think how John and Paul approached the topic of each other and sexuality would be very different if they were consciously in a romantic and sexual relationship.

Sadly for everyone, me included, I can work my way around into giving a pretty convincing way either of these two are still possible. I just don't think that's what happened. But you'll need to send a new ask about that. Ha.

That we're imaging the whole thing and they were just very close pals in a band that had a bad falling out over money and creative control of The Beatles.

What's that leave?

Everything else. Lol.

Firstly, they loved each other. It often wasn't healthy. It often wasn't pretty, but boy was it strong. Neither of them ever got over the other. Not only in a "I'll always miss him but I'm alright way" but in a, "I will never stop wanting him back in my life, no matter how often and terribly I got hurt." I'm sorry, I don't believe that's because they enjoyed writing songs together just a normal amount. One obvious thing it could mean is something went unresolved (maybe the didn't fuck, but should have). Or, more likely imo, they couldn't reconcile what they were to one another, which made it impossible to move on from.

I think sex for them was not like it is for us normies. Not just because the sheer amount and variety of it they were having. Although, please don't underestimate how that impacts a person's view of whether sexual contact 'means' anything. I also mean it from a cultural perspective. The idea of sexuality was so vastly different that for them to think what they were doing was 'queer' would have meant it fell under pretty specific parameters which I think they could have easily avoided (by having sex with and dating/being married to women).

So, yeah, they fucked basically. But in such a way that Paul could still think they didn't. What's that mean? That's probably going to remain between Paul and his guitar. To be fair, it could even include penetration, but I somehow doubt it. Fooling around is more likely. Perhaps some blowjobs here and there. You know, high jinx, pals being bros.

There's a distinct possibility that they were somewhat consciously aware of some of the above. There's so much weirdness going on that it would just explain why it was happening. For example, Paul ricocheting between Jane and John in terms of shows of commitment. John and India. The Yoko and Linda parallels. Paris and Paris redux. Brain. I just don't think they knew how/would have had the skills to talk about it. I would love to know what exactly was expressed in Key West and what the fall out of that was.

The stakes were too high. This meant that they had to get on and couldn’t risk falling out because the Beatles rested on them writing songs and therefore getting on. They didn't want to lose face in front of the person they respected most in the world by being the first to ask for more. There was too much in the way for them to communicate and risk trying to ‘give it a go’ (whatever that meant to either of them) but that, in the end, ripped them apart.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Pro hero Deku is asked a lot if questions about his love life (no he's not dating kacchan, no he's not dating shouto, no he's not dating ochako she's married what the hell) and at some point he decides to get himself a boyfriend just for it to stop. Fake ofc, but no one needs to know that. He just wants some peace and quiet.

But of course the questions dont stop, if anything they're starting to get worse, only his mom seemed so happy that hes dating someone and now he's committed damn it, and the stories keeps getting more elaborate and like, maybe this was a bad idea but he's in too deep.

And he's also sort of growing attached to his fictional boyfriend, cause he seems like a cool and competent dude, izuku would not mind dating him if, you know, he actually existed.

Plot twist: hizashi is always one to stay on top of hero news, he loves and lives vicariously through gossip with nemuri any chance be gets, so he definitely keeps track of all the clues deku gives about his secret boyfriend (bc the nr 1 hero having a secret boyfriend is Grade A Gossip, and hizashi is intrigued and yearns to know more) and it's all fun and games until hizashi starts to grow suspicious that he KNOWS this secret boyfriend, that he is BEST FRIENDS with this secret boyfriend, and why the hell hasn't shouta told hizashi personally??? How dare???

Oh oh yes yes this is perfect.

And it gets even better because of course Hizashi is gonna confront Shouta. Of course he is. Shouta’s breaking some sacred best friend rules by not telling him that he’s been dating the #1.  Like, Hizashi understands the want/need for some level of privacy, really he does, but surely he should be exempt from that. Bro Law and everything.

So of course this means Shouta gets a phone call at like 5 in the afternoon when he’s actually trying to get some sleep.

“SHOOOUUTTTAAAA,” Hizashi screeches down the line so loudly that, even though he’s laying down alone in his own apartment, Shouta can’t help the way his quirk activates on instinct.

“What.”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL MEEEE?” Hizashi sobs dramatically down the line.

“Probably because you always act like this,” Shouta huffs. “But I also have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m your best friend,” Hizashi prattles on.  “You could have at least told me, I can keep a secret you know?  I wouldn’t have told anyone, probably.”

“Hizashi,” Shouta breaks in.  “What. Are. You. Talking. About?”

“You’re Deku’s secret boyfriend!!” Hizashi announces victoriously. 

Shouta pulls his phone back enough to stare at the screen for a moment, brows furrowed, before he brings it back to his ear.

“Have you been kidnapped?” he practically barks the question out.

“W-What?” Hizashi sputters.  “NO! Sho what the hell?”

“What’s your safe word?” Shouta demands.

“Meatloaf,” Hizashi replies instantly. “Wh-”

“Are you trapped, currently bleeding out, injured, or in need of backup?” Shouta spits the questions out rapid fire.

“No, no, no, and no,” Hizashi answers back just as quickly. “I’m perfectly fine and at home, just wondering why my best friend hasn’t told me about his secret affair -”

Shouta hangs up.

Hizashi’s in no danger which means he doesn’t have to humor his ridiculous bullshit right now when he could be taking a nap.

His phone rings for the next ten minutes straight before Trash comes toddling into the room and curls up on top of it to go to sleep.

~~~

It doesn’t end there. Because of course it doesn’t.

Hizashi keeps badgering him about his supposed love affair with Deku of all people, the #1 hero Shouta’s never even met in person before.

Mainly he ignores Hizashi whenever he starts in on the topic or tries to badger him for detail that don’t exist.

But then...

Then it comes to a bit of a head when Shouta gets dragged out for drinks with Hizashi, Nemuri, and Tensei like they normally try to do every other week or so if possible.

Only this time they’re not the only pros at the dive bar they end up at.

Because Joke is there, because of course she is, because the universe officially hates Shouta.

Joke is an excellent hero, a good teacher from what he’s heard, and overall a nice person but Shouta only has enough spoons for a select group of people in his social life and sometimes even that’s pushing it.

Joke with her constant laughing, her attempts at comedy without her quirk involved, and her insistent need to constantly hit on Shouta is someone who drains him faster than should be possible.

Only this time it’s different.

They’re a few drinks in when Joke tries to slide her way into the booth beside him, a grin already stretching her mouth.

And while normally the others would just laugh and smirk and leave Shouta to suffer, this time Hizashi steps in.

“Yeah, no,” Hizashi slides the drinks he’d gone to collect onto the table and then shimmies his way in between Joke and the booth to steal the seat right beside Shouta instead.  “Seats taken.”

“Awwww,” Joke pouts, “don’t be like that.  Why’re you trying to get in the way of me and Eraser’s love story?”

"Find someone new to hit on, sweetheart,” Hizashi tips a look at her over his shades.  “Nemuri’s always free you know? Our Shouta’s a taken man now.”

There’s a sort of collective spit take around the table.

“What?” Nemuri croaks from where she’s trying to clean what looks like cream off of her face.  “Are you two ...?”

“Oh no, not us, we’ve told you that before.” Hizashi waves a hand in front of him with the ease of an argument they’ve all had more than once over the years.

“Then?” Tensei prompts.

Hizashi leans forward across the table, expression turning sly and secretive, the rest of the group leaning in as well, anticipation practically wafting off of them.

And Shouta immediately knows where this is about to go.

“Our Sho’s been keeping secrets,” Hizashi sing-songs.  “But honestly I can’t believe it took me so long to put it together when the clues were right there.”

“Get on with it man,” Nemuri orders.

“Our unkempt goblin friend is dating none other than the adorable and stacked force of nature that is our #1 hero Deku,” Hizashi throws his hands up in a ta-da sort of gesture.

For a long moment there’s silence.

And then every head at the table swings in Shouta’s direction all at once.

For a split second Shouta debates on nipping it in the bud, putting an end to this ridiculousness once and for all.  But then he stops, thinks about it, flicks a look towards Joke and quickly runs through the list of advantages having a fake SO could provide him with, and immediately course corrects.

“It’s a secret,” Shouta deadpans.  “We’re deeply in love.  Tell no one.”

Which, of course, means that by the time Shouta rolls out of bed the next afternoon everyone knows.

[kenmas-consoles]

Hi! Can I request platonic hcs of the Moriarty Bros interacting with a student of William's who got caught up in the whole "crime lord" thing and ended up joining their crew? I think it'd be neat. Thank you in advance!

A/n: aaaa this is my first moriarty the patriot story so I hope that it’s to your liking! Also i noticed that you didn’t exactly specify a gender for the student and considering he teaches in a private all male’s academy ion know imma use the rules of fiction and use a gender neutral reader/student anyways enjoy!

pairing: moriarty brothers with a platonic g/n student

word count:

 Headcanons: 

you were an insider

just like Fred your jobs consist of going undercover and gathering information

Just like any other student in the academy William taught at you had quite the status, a socialite from a well known family 

Coming from a family with a rather big name and that sort of status held its benefits which means you had access to information about various inside affairs and business 

and since you come from a respectable family that made you quite the spy because nobody would really suspect that the “kind (l/n) family heir would do such a thing” 

at first you had ended up becoming an unofficial member after Lucian’s case and continued to be the Moriarty’s eyes and ears 

but after an incident with another rival business that ended with your family dead, William generously offered his services of revenge 

after all that's transpired you ended up as a member to the moriarty crew

A real valued member at that

To say the Moriarty brothers are fond of you would be an understatement cause they treat you like a younger brother/sister

With Albert

Now Albert has always been a family man 

He loves his brothers a lot and dotes on them from time to time but more often than not he feels a bit dejected now that his brothers are now so grown up 

and when the addition of you joining the crew he was delighted to see a fresh face

There isn’t really much of an age gap between him and his brothers because they were around his age when they met but with you oh boy 

10 year age gap lezzgeddit 

He’ll use this as an opportunity to spoil you to make up for not being able to do that to William and Louis

He’d send you post cards, gifts and little trinkets

He regrets that he has to work in an office 

Albert loves it when you ramble about anything

It makes him feel soft that you trust him with your thoughts and even secrets

With William

Ever since the gang took you in and you moved out of the dorms expect to get culture shocked 

William at home and William in school are two different people 

There's this strict rule of separating school life and home life mostly because he wants to keep it professional

will occasionally join you for lunch doe 

It also feels weird not calling him Professor at home

Tutors you loads and sometimes laughs at your misery and failed attempts in answering math problems

He’s also really quite good in teaching other subjects like science, english, history and etc. 

kinda feels unreal 

finds it funny when you rant about school too and sometimes he’d give his two cents on some teachers or other students you find annoying

With Louis

He’s soft that he has a new younger sibling around

Boy is so used to being the youngest but now he has a younger sib around cue shocked Pikachu face

He’d spoil you the most out of all the brothers

Bakes you extra cookies cause why not

tries not to be obvious about it 

He’d ask you how school is going all the time even though he could literally ask William

He knows he isn’t much compared to his brothers but it warms his heart whenever you both hangout

He also is the best listener and secret keeper in the household so you’d go to him to rant all the time 

He’d get worried when you get assigned to do missions and would ask if you’d like him to accompany you 

Thinks you joining the team is a blessing 

[janellion]

KAYLAAAAA i am Back ! HSHXH i would like to request hcs of the reader taking care of their drunk boyfriend(s) 👉👈 may i ask for tsukki, bokuto, kuroo, and akaashi? Hdhxbb i hope it's not too much !!! if it is, tsukki and bokuto would do omg aaaAAA i love you so much bb 💞💗💗💗 and idk if i've told you this before already but i LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing like it's one of the best i've ever read !!!! pls stay healthy and safe, i love you!!!!!

RON BB U MAKING A BITCH SOFT OMG 😭😭💗💗✨✨ thank you SO SO MUCH!!’ it means the world to me that you enjoy my writing!!! i’d love to write these for you!!! (i’m sorry they took so long bb 🥺😭 ILY!!)

taking care of your drunk!boyfriend hcs

ft. tsukki, bokuto, kuroo, akaashi

tsukki

tsukki doesn’t drink that much but when he does, he gets SOFT

i don’t mean like he’s crying and all over you

but those things that he only usually thinks? like “wow they’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen”

he SAYS THEM

and he doesn’t realize that he does, he’s really just thinking out loud and so when you’re all flustered at hearing him being so sweet and honest, words that he usually reserves for tender and special moments, he just quirks an eyebrow like “what? did i say something?”

and you pretend like he didn’t, bc you love hearing the things he has to say

taking care of him involves a lot of,,, tough love

he is stubborn and wants to take care of himself

he only lets you take care of him when you’re firm but sweet with him

speaking of, you’re the ONLY ONE that he let’s take care of him

even though it does take some extra coaxing on your part, anyone else would be outright refused except for you

when you go to pick him up or the boys drop him off, they always seem a little extra tired because they’ve been dealing w drunk tsukki without you and he is DIFFICULT

like “we need to bribe him to get into the car” kind of difficult

but they’re really just bribing him with getting to see you

tsukki isn’t a super cuddly or physically affectionate person, but as soon as he sees you he melts

will draw you in for a hug with those long arms of his and just hold you until he starts swaying and you both fall on the ground

the nights end with him passed out in bed and you gently removing his glasses

he never brings it up the next day bc he’s embarrassed, but he thanks you in his own little ways, whether that’s a tender kiss to your temple as you make him something for his hangover, or your favorite flowers the next time he goes out for errands

a knock on the door pulls you from your current task, piquing your interest and making you wonder — isn’t it a little late for them to be back? i figured kei would just stay with kuroo. as you head to the front door, you peek your head through the window to see none other than your tall slightly red faced boyfriend batting away the presumably helpful hand that kuroo is offering him.

as soon as you open the door and tsukki’s eyes land on you, the annoyed and frustrated look on his face melts into one of calm adoration. he takes a step through the threshold, placing a large slender hand on your shoulder, drawing you into his chest and inhaling the scent of your hair.

you look at kuroo over tsukki’s shoulder, suppressing a grin as you see kuroo’s growing. “you should have heard him on the way here, he was so excited to see you,” he comments to you under his breath as he moves to head back to the boys leaning against his car in varying levels of intoxication.

you shoot him a “good luck!” as he walks away before the door slams, blocking kuroo’s retreating back. you try and pull away from tsukki, only to feel him pull you in closer in response.

“those guys were pissing me off,” you hear tsukki’s voice muffled into into your hair. you can’t help but smile at the softness in his voice despite the harshness of his words.

“let’s get you to bed,” you laugh softly, prying his arms ground around your waist and holding his hands in yours between you.

as you go to walk down the hall, tsukki’s grip on your hands tightens as he pulls you back to him, bringing one hand to your check and the other to the small of your back.

he looks at you intensely through his glasses, face slightly flushed, but eyes soft and mouth slipping into a small smile.

“you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen”

+++

bokuto

i’ve written a bit abt drunk!bo here BUT yk i can always go off abt my hubby

OK SO bokuto is one of those “i’m myself but x100” kind of drunks

he is so excited and enthusiastic about things when he’s in a good mood

but he’s so down in the dumps and sad if he’s in a bad mood

fortunately!! you are always there to manage his moods, whether that’s extreme elation or intense sadness

a smile from you or a squeeze of your hand is all it takes to bring him back to his normal cheerful and exuberant self

BUT i hope that you don’t mind shirtless!bokuto (who could???) bc this man is CONSTANTLY TAKING HIS SHIRT OFF WHEN HE DRINKS

on the rare occasions where he goes out with tanaka, these two get kicked out of places SO FAST for public indecency

taking care of drunk!bokuto is a pretty involved affair

as soon as he sees you or the guys drop him back off to you, he is running full speed toward you, often forgetting his size and underestimating his speed

you’ve learned after the first few times that you need to brace yourself for impact bc he has crashed into you more times than you can count

this often results in you either on your back on the floor, or bo sweeping you up in a giant hug as he squeezes you tightly

the man REFUSES to take care of himself, does not want to eat or drink water until you offer it to him

if you bribe him w a kiss? man will do anything

the reason why he refuses to take care of himself? he just wants to spend time w you and shower you with love and affection!!

you’re trying to brush your teeth? good thing you only need one hand bc bo is holding the other!

trying to fix the bed? good luck bc bo has his arms around your waist and is nuzzling his face into your neck

fortunately, drunk!bo is also very sleepy, so after a lot of hand holding and hugging and wildly affectionate and inappropriate compliments, he is ready to pass out

unfortunately, he’s only able to fall asleep with you in his arms, so i hope your phone is charged!!

also, get ready to take a shower in the morning bc drunk!bokuto DROOLS

it’s ok tho bc he’s so cute abt it in the morning & will DEFINITELY insist on showering w you to help you,,, clean off 👀

a loud cry rings through the neighborhood prompting loud “shhhh” noises from the boys around your boyfriend. you smile in amusement as you look out the front window at the scene before you.

bokuto just dropped his phone as he was getting out of the car and proceeded to drop onto his knees, face buried in his hands as he cries out, “NOO WHAT DID I DO THEYRE GONE KUROO GONEEE,” as he gingerly picks up his phone and looks at the lock screen.

even from your vantage point in the house you can see the barely concealed snicker fhat escapes kuroo’s lips as he gestures to tsukki to help heft the large crying man to his feet.

“bro, i promise [Name] is fine, that’s just your lock screen, they’re in the house.” at this point kuroo pauses and looks up, seeing your face in lit up in the window.

“bo, look! they’re right there! why don’t you go give the door your secret knock and see them?” kuroo says, pointing to you at the window.

of course, you can’t hear this, but you do see the way that bokuto’s eyes light up as he brings his gaze to meet yours, and the wide smile that’s already across his previously tear-stained face.

with that, he is running full speed to the front door, and you barely have time to process the change in mood before you hear your signature shared secret knock on the front door.

laughing in anticipation, you throw the door open at the finish of the knock, only to be wrapped up in two sturdy arms, bo feet your lifting off the ground in his excitement.

finally setting you down, he looks at you with shining eyes, the grin on his face spreading with every passing second.

“i missed you”

+++

kuroo

so poor kuroo is usually stuck as the designated driver (he switches off with akaashi)

when he does get to drink though? his nerdy and flirty sides come out in the BEST possible way

he loves to use chemistry pick up lines on you, whether you’re out on the town together or you’re cuddled up in your bed after he gets dropped off for the night

you’ll be playing with his hair or he’ll be playing with yours and all of a sudden he’ll pull away and all the warning you’ll get is a slight glint in his eye and the traces of a mischievous smile as he says:

Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine

or

You must be a compound of beryllium and barium...because your a total BaBe

as soon as the lines are out of his mouth you can feel heat rushing up your neck and cheeks as your eyes widen slightly

kuroo always laughs gently, a light blush coloring his cheeks as he pulls away

he loves to do this bc it always yields his favorite sight: you flustered and embarassed at his sudden flirtatiousness

kuroo is pretty responsible so you don’t really,,, need to take care of him?

but you DO get to listen to a lot of really entertaining stories about things that have happened throughout the night he spent out with the boys

he likes to lay his head in your lap with his eyes closed as you run your fingers through his hair and gently massage his scalp, humming gently and laughing as he recounts the tales of his night

you WILL have to convince him to go to bed tho bc drunk!kuroo wants to stay up ALL NIGHT and spend time with you, cuddling and watching tv or some movies (he WILL try and convince you to watch a fun documentary)

but you’ll have to resist his charms and pickup lines

he does NOT make it easy on you though

will even go as far as to lay on the ground and make you drag him to your bedroom, barely concealing his laughter

he’ll eventually take pity on you and walk with you to the bedroom, but not before swinging his arm over your shoulder and leaning a bunch of his weight on you (he can’t make it too easy!)

the night always ends with the two of you facing each other, his arm slung over your waist as he traces every inch of your face with his eyes

you hear the loud honk of a horn as you receive a “here” text from your boyfriend. you open the door, not sure what to expect since it’s been quite some time since kuroo actually let loose.

you definitely weren’t expecting a grinning bokuto with his hand around kuroo’s waist as your dark haired boyfriend grinned at you with a mischievous look in his eye.

“[Name]!” bokuto exclaims in his signature booming and excited voice. “Your boyfriend here was practicing lines on me all night to get ready to see you,” he says, laughter in his voice.

“bro, you weren’t supposed to tell them!” kuroo turns to bokuto, eyebrows slightly furrowed, “it was supposed to be a surprise!”

bokuto simply laughs and shakes his head, removing his arm from around kuroo’s waist and going to clap you on the shoulder. “good luck,” he says with a wink before walking back to the car, yelling at a slightly flushed akaashi that “he’s next!”

with bokuto gone, all of kuroo’s attention is on you. the mischievous look on his eye has been replaced by one that’s softer, full of love and adoration. his smile, however, still slightly betrays the rest of his face as he leans in close to you, arm resting on one side of your face as the other goes to his hip.

“You must be related to Alfred Nobel, because baby you are dynamite!” slips past his lips and you can’t help but laugh, heat rushing to your face as you take in his words.

his suaveness, however, falters as he loses his balance and crashes into you through the threshold.

he pulls back from you, face lingering inches from yours as he grins again.

“Even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you”

+++

akaashi

similar to kuroo, akaashi is often the designated driver or signature “responsible friend”

when he DOES go more wild it’s because someone bokuto convinces him to do something crazy for some reason his bachelor party

on those nights where he does participate more in shenanigans, he gets SOFT

not in the same way that tsukki or bokuto get soft, but in a very special way that is Signature Akaashi

the guys will drop him off and they will all be waving and smiling at you, faces soft

akaash’s softness is infectious and inspiring, and all of them are going to go home to their own partners and be extra soft and sweet bc of him and his love for you

akaashi’s love language is quality time, and this is never more obvious than on the nights when you’re taking care of him after a fun night out with the boys

he just wants to be with you, whether that be on the couch as you finish up your book or show, talking to you as you shower for the night, or at the kitchen table as you have a midnight snack

his eyes soften and drink in the sight of you under the bright kitchen lights, or the soft glow of the tv, or through the foggy mirror of the bathroom

anything you ask of him is yours, so taking care of him is very easy

you’re both in bed as soon as you’d like to be, whether that’s one hour or five hours after he gets done with the boys

this is bc all akaashi wants to do is hold you in his arms and look at you, whispering into the quiet space between you how much he loves you and how much you mean to him

he’s not usually big on being very affectionate with his words, so when he says them, you KNOW he means them more than anything

even though he was the one that went out, he’s always the last one to fall asleep bc he wants to memorize the way you look in this exact moment, and tuck it away into his collection of favorite memories

your phone buzzes on the couch next to you, drawing your attention from the show you put on as you wait for your boyfriend to get dropped off.

accepting the phone and bringing it to your ear, you hear the calm and deep voice of the man you know and love.

“hi love, we’re almost to the house,” rings through the speaker. a chorus of “AWWWHS” and “OOOOHS” echo in the background as you hear the unmistakable voices of the boys in the car. a smile tugs at your lips at the shenanigans, and widens at akaashi’s soft chuckle. “see you soon,” you say as you hear the sound of a car pull up.

making your way to the door, you open it to reveal the slightly flushed face of your boyfriend as he gets out of the car, accepting the hand that bokuto offers in assistance.

the softness in akaashi’s eyes is unmistakable as he makes his way toward you, his gaze never straying from your face.

bokuto chuckles behind him, waving briefly at akaashi’s back before walking around to the front of the car.

as akaashi reaches the front step, he wraps an arm around your waist and brings you in for a soft but firm kiss, pulling away with a gentle smile and shining eyes.

the “OOOHS” and “AHHHS” ring out from the car again, but there’s a softness to them.

regardless, you pay them no mind as you look into akaashi’s eyes, a small smile playing on your lips.

“it’s nice to see you too,” you say through a grin.

“i’ve been wanting to do that all night”

☽

a/n: tysm for reading!! ty @strawbirb for the bokuto idea!! my requests are OPEN. i’m slow but i will get to them! 🥰✨

general taglist (also my faves 🥰) : @oyakags @cosmictooru @over5feettall @kaidasen @achoohq @kuronekomama @anianimol @strawbirb @spriteandnicotine

writing taglist: @softkatsuki

(pls lmk if you’d like to be on a taglist!)

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction - BONUS MOMENTS

Surprise!!! I'm back with a select few bonus #bamelia moments!! I just couldn't let the love story of Ben and Amelia die, I hope you don't mind. Love Always, Steph xx

PSA: To all new readers, you don't have to read the series (link below) to understand this, however it would help so that you can understand the preconceived emotions behind the chapter!

Champions Again | di nuovo campioni

warnings; none word count; 1865 writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. link to fic masterlist here

They had done it, again. The Chelsea boys were lifting their second team trophy for the year, they had just won the Supercup. This was Amelia’s first competition final with the Premier League giants and if she had her way, this wouldn't be last. She was beginning to get addicted to the feeling of winning, of proving to every little girl out there and every sexist male she had ever come across, that anything boys can do, girls can do better. She was letting her results speak for themselves, she was making history and there was nothing that could bring her down from the ninth cloud she was currently riding.

As proud as she was over her own achievements, she was equally as proud of her friends. Whilst she wasn’t part of their Champions League victory, she knew that this moment was just as special to the team that just loved to win. The scenes before her were ones she hoped she would never forget - the look on Jorgi’s face as he lifted his third trophy of the last few months, the crinkles beside Mason’s eyes as he grinned at the camera that was desperate to capture every moment of the evening, the tinge of pink on the apples of Ben’s cheeks as he stood with his hands on his hips while he watched Amelia give her first post-match tactical analysis to the Sky Sports reporter - proud that she was his girl. These were the moments that made Amelia forget all of the hard times, or rather made her realise that all of the hard times were worth it to see her friends, her team, her man smile.

With every great victory comes an even greater after party, and even though the Super Cup final coincided with the start of the season, the boys still believed that they deserved an afterparty to celebrate. Captain Cesar Azpilicueta had kindly offered the grounds of his Surrey home to host the bunch of rowdy boys, and their onslaught on mates and partners on the Sunday afternoon between the Super Cup final and the first match of the Premier League 21/22 season. Whilst they were under strict instruction from the higher powers of Chelsea Football Club (namely; Thomas Tuchel) to keep the drinking to a minimum and to keep themselves out of trouble, the boys were allowed to be boys for one more night.

______________________________________________________________

“Benj, what are you wearing? I don’t know if I should wear a sundress or denim shorts! Please, I need help!” I shouted out to Ben who was currently somewhere in his large house.

“Why would my outfit be able to help you with that decision” I could hear his voice getting closer, his footsteps getting louder as he began to ascend the stairs up to the main bedroom that I had slowly started to take over in the last couple months.

“An opinion is all I’m after - stop being cheeky mate” I shoot back at him as I begin to stand up from my place in front of his wardrobe. It was still his wardrobe, he hadn’t asked me to move in yet so it was still technically his even if it was half full with my clothes. As I got to my feet, I turned to see him leaning in the doorway with his arms and ankles crossed over each other. Wearing a tee shirt and some denim shorts himself with a cap covering his ungelled hair - a request from me because it was much easier for me to run my hands through if it wasn’t laden with gel...and because it gave me an excuse to push it out of his face whenever I felt like it (which was often).

“I wouldn’t mind if you stayed in that outfit to be fair, however, that would also mean we would be skipping this afterparty altogether and be spending the afternoon celebrating in an entirely different manner” He states staring at me while I’m currently standing with my hands on my hips, staring at the shorts and tank top combo I have laid out on his bed - again, his bed not ours - he hasn’t asked me to move in yet so it was technically his even if it did have the new bed sheets I purchased a couple weeks back with the matching throw cushions on it. The barely-there outfit that I was currently sporting and that had him licking his lips as he pushed himself off of the doorway to walk to me and wrap his arms around my body from behind was a bralette and a pair of his Chelsea shorts.

“Ok sorted, you’re in denim shorts so I’m going to wear mine too. Done ok move get off me I need to change or we’re going to be late” I exclaimed as I pushed him off me with my hips. A bad move? Absolutely not. I got to feel all of him against me and remind him of what he gets to come home to every evening, if he choses.

“Wow what's the rush now Mils? Why are you walking around like you’ve got ants in your pants?” He questioned as he tightened his grip on me and turned me so I was facing him, looking up into his curious baby blues.

“And don’t say nothing, I’ve picked up on all of your tells already” He further questioned as he could see the wheels begin to turn behind my eyes, desperate to come up with an excuse to mask my jitters so I wouldn’t have to tell him the truth.

“I regret ever letting you become friends with Fede, he’s spilling all of my secrets...Ok fine. I’m nervous to see Jack. I haven’t seen him since...ya’know and I haven't spoken to him since I gave him a telling off before international break and Ben I promise you I haven't thought about him once but I’m still worried that there's unresolved anger there from him and I don’t want to get into it again just when we’re getting back into the groove of us and it’ll impact your friendsh-” my rambling was cut off by his lips, which were simultaneously reminding me to breathe between my words and leaving me breathless at the same time. He always did have a way with his lips, the power they held over me was unmatched by anything.

“Calm down love, I promise it’ll be okay. Jack and I have had it out already, a long chat on international duties which may have only been prompted because Mase and Dec locked us in the kit room after our first session, sorted it all out.” Ben reassured me as he began to rub his thumbs over my cheeks and his hands held both sides of my face.

“I do know he wants to apologise to you though - so don’t be surprised if he tries to do that early on in the evening. You know just how awkward he can be so he’ll probably spring it on you before you’ve even put your bag down.”

“Oh great, I’m gonna need to do a couple shots before we leave the house - you’re good to drive right?” I said as I walked from his grasp and down the stairs to grab the bottle of vodka for some good old fashioned dutch courage.

______________________________________________________________

Ben was right about Jack, he had approached the couple only moments after they had arrived at Azpi’s house. Amelia had spotted him making his way towards them so she began to walk in a different direction to Ben, stretching their interlocked hands and letting him go as she mumbled something about needing to put her bag down. Ben really knew both of them too well. Jack gave Ben a hug hello, still in the grovelling stage of repairing their friendship.

“Hey bro, how’s it goin?” Jack spoke as he pulled away from Ben.

“Yeah bro all’s good with me, how are you? Congrats on the move again, million dollar geez you are, aren’t ya? Don’t forget me when you're mingling with Messi in a couple years” Ben joked back with the boy who has been literally a brother to him for the last few years.

“Ahhh you’re jokin me, could never forget a brother could I? We’re basically blood at this point I reckon. Where’d Mils run off ta?” Jack questioned with his arm around Ben’s neck, both of the boys looking out into the garden for the girl in question.

“Right here super Jack” Amelia spoke from behind them. During their brief discussion, Amelia had put her bag down and ran inside to grab herself a drink before walking out to face the music of Jack’s apology. Overhearing how lighthearted he was with Ben, coupled with the reassurance that Ben had provided her earlier in the evening plus the two or three vodka shots she had downed in their kitchen before coming to the afterparty had meant that she left her worries at the door.

“Mils, darlin', you already know what's coming but I truly am sorry...to both of ya ya’know. Benny, we’ve already had it out and it took me ages to get over that black eye but please believe me when I tell ya I am so sorry for treating you that way Amelia. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry and I regret nothing more than how I made you feel.” Jack could feel himself getting teary whilst thinking about how he made the girl feel, how he made his best mate and chosen brother feel, how he really put a spanner in the works of their blossoming relationship.

“Jack, I’m not going to say it was ok because it wasn't. But it wasn’t just your fault, I also played a part in it that has me cursing myself every day for ruining things with Benj. I forgive you, Jacky.” Amelia spoke while reaching up and wrapping her arms around Jack’s neck to give him one of her signature squeezy hugs, to truly convey that she was moving on from their tumultuous past and hoped that he could stop beating himself up over it and do the same.

Jack had left the couple to return to the table and grab himself a refill of his drink. Ben’s arm had found its natural position around Amelia’s shoulders as they both stood there looking out at their friends. However, Ben was looking down at Amelia. Without missing a beat and keeping her eyes focused out on the yard, Amelia spoke only loud enough for Ben to hear.

“So, you gave Jack a black eye over me huh? That’s hot”

Amelia took a few steps forward before turning to look at the expression on Ben’s face as she continued to walk away from him, backwards. The slight shock turned into a full on smirk as he walked towards her eager to close the gap between them with a kiss. He knew she loved him with her whole heart, but he hoped that she would understand just how much he loved her right back.

The Proposal | la proposta

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

Hi can i have a hcs of being the older sister of vivi killer drake and katakuri who is nice and compasionate please-Sarah

I'm sorry this took... embarrassingly long to complete. And I'm not gonna lie, it was rather difficult for me to come up with good headcanons for this request. I'm really not proud of this one, but... hopefully you'll like it at least a bit, dear ^^'

Having a kind older sister headcanon

Nefeltari Vivi

Vivi absolutely adores and looks up to you!

secretly, she wants to grow up to be just as much of an amazing and kind person as you are

however she can also be a bit of a brat and a little rebel from time to time; especially in her younger years she would often switch between wanting to be with you and wanting to be left alone in a matter of seconds

sometimes, when she's in an especially mischievious mood, she even goes as far as to hide from you on the palace grounds all day long

seeing how your mother died when you and your little sister were still pretty young, your dad Cobra was initially the one who tried to take on both parental roles and raise you to the best of his abilities; but since he's also the King of Alabasta and has a lot of responsibilities to take care of, it didn't quite work out in the long run. Thus you jumped in for him, taking on both a sisterly as well as a motherly role for Vivi as she was growing up

still, Cobra is extremely protective of his two girls and therefore you're rarely allowed to leave his sight or the palace. But that ain't stopping you from occasionally sneaking out in secret, and once Vivi is old enough to accompany you, you bring her along. Those little 'trips' later on fueled her desire to sneak out on her own and make friends with the other children in Alabasta

every evening, when it's time for bed, she sits down with you and proudly tells you about the things she did that day while you brush through her hair

although she's eager to share most of her hobbies and adventures with you, the one thing that Vivi is extremely cautious about is letting you meet her friends. Grown people aren't allowed in their club, so when she finally decides to introduce you to Koza and the rest, you have to promise not to tell anyone

you're the one person Vivi can confide in 100% and she knows that her secrets are always safe with you- even from Papa Cobra

so it's only natural that you were also the first person she told about her plans to infiltrate Baroque Works

and while Vivi is away on her secret mission, you make sure to help your little sis from the inside by delivering informations about the current situation in Alabasta. All while keeping up the facade of the good older princess who believes that Sir Crocodile is a hero, of course

when she finally comes back home with Luffy and the Strawhats, you do everything in your power to assist them in their plan to get the country back from the Warlord. With an all-out civil war right around the corner Vivi especially needs you as emotional support and counts on your wisdom to help with her decisions. You're her big sister after all, and if there's anyone she needs to have by her side while she's facing all of the coming chaos, it's you.

Killer

you know those rebellious teenagers that are always like "Moooom, don't tell me what to do!!!!"? That's Killer, but in little brother form

he definitely doesn't like being coddled or looked after. Yes, he gets into fights and danger regularly, but it's normal. He doesn't need you to chew him out for it every time

despite that, he really really does love you though. Hence why he's occasionaly pushing you away- as pirate he's living a dangerous life, and he doesn't want his nice and sweet big sister to get caught up in it

his way of showing apprecation for you has always been a bit unusual, even back when he was young. One time, when you were still living together, Killer tried to surprise you by cooking your favorite food for your birthday; but he ended up setting your house on fire instead, forcing you to move again

when you were still children you would occasionally babysit your little brother as well as his best bud Kid, and things often got out of control when you three were together

especially the little redhead seemed to be in a rather provocative mood whenever you were around. Sometimes Kid would declare that you'll be his woman one day, which always ticked off Killer and caused him to start fights with his friend

even to this day, Killer still tries to keep you away from Kid. He adores his friend and captain, but also really doesn't want him to try and get flirty with you... again. That's just all kinds of wrong

it's not just Kid though, no one else in the crew is allowed to comment on your looks/attricteveness/whatever either, or they'll have to deal with a pretty mad Killer

nowadays he's a lot more relaxed when it comes to you and your presence around the crew though. From time to time he still berates or tells you that you are too friendly for your own good, but deep down he's appreciative of your caring nature and how you always treated him with kindness

one thing that never really changed is Killer's desire to cook by your side and show off all the things he learned within the past few years

you're the only person he feels the need to impress and who's criticism actually matters to him even if he accepts it with a scoff

X Drake

although he's the younger sibling, Drake is actually the protective one. Because of your kind nature he's always afraid that someone might try to use you

he's pretty clingy as a kid, and it honestly doesn't change much as he's getting older

you were the one that took care of him after your father died, so naturally he's always been looking at you for guidance and comfort from a young age on

as a result you're the only person that can claim to know Drake 100%. He can't keep secrets from you either, sometimes it's even as if you know him better than he does

although he knows he can always come to you with his problems and secrets, Drake is pretty hesitant to do so. Scared that you might get dragged into his dangerous affairs, he heavy-hearted decides that it's for the best to keep you in the dark about his life as double-agent

although he feels a bit guilty to keep you in the dark about his affiliations, it does have some perks as well. Thanks to his job he was able to secure you a nice house in a calm (and most importantly, protected) living area that's close to his marine base

you could say it's his way of 'repaying' you for taking care of him for so long. Drake loves you and can't help but feel as if he's in your debt

as long as his job allows it he makes sure to visits you at least once or twice a month to make sure that you're doing good

during those visits he often thinks back to what your life used to be like when you were kids, and the mood quickly turns sober as he remembers his abusive father. That's usually when it's time for you to step in and change the topic

just ask Drake about his crushes or if there is a woman he's got his eyes on and he'll turn all sorts of red again lol

huh, maybe there is someone he's interested in. But he can't tell you because you'd probably just offer to help him win her over, which is bound to end in disaster...

instead of talking about his preferences when it comes to women he'd rather tell you about the new limited edition Germa action figure he managed to get his hands on! And boom- just like that, your little bro is in a better mood again

can you imagine how excited Drake would be to tell you about his encounter with Stealth Black tho...? You'd probably have to calm him down during the call so he won't hyperventilate lmao

Charlotte Katakuri

much like Killer, Katakuri also doesn't like being coddled

back when you were young and still sailing around with the family, it was usually your and Perospero's unofficial job to look after the younger siblings while Big Mom was doing... y'know, pirate stuff

most of the kids were doing fine under your watch, but Katakuri always had a strong tendency to get in trouble. You would often scold him for starting fights with others and tell him that he shouldn't pay any mind to whatever insults they throw at him; unfortunately though he hardly ever listened

and after the incident with Brûlée, he completely isolated himself from everyone- including you. He also felt a tinge of guilt for not listening to your advice, since it might have kept his sister from getting hurt

it takes years, almost decades until Katakuri feels ready to open up again- and if it wasn't for how compassionate you were and that you never judged or pressured him, it might have taken even longer

eventually he tries to mend your relationship by inviting you to one of his meriendas, where you finally get the chance to talk about everything

from there on out you two slowly get reacquainted with one another and become friends again

and this time, he actually listens to your advice and takes it to heart

Katakuri still keeps up the appearance of the strong and cold older brother around the other siblings, but when he's with you he's more relaxed and sometimes even okay with talking about his pent-up frustration

whenever he returns from a mission he checks in with Mama first (that's obligatory) and then gets some donuts, pays you a visit to see how you've been holding up during the days he was gone, and explains what he's been up to

he's always looking out for you and whenever Mama suggests that it's time for you to marry some crazy psycho for the sake of an alliance, Katakuri would do everything in his powers to help you convince her that it was a bad idea

frankly Katakuri respects you more than his own mother and is very glad to have someone who doesn't put him on a pedestral or holds him to some insanely high standards. It makes him feel a bit more... human.

[thedevildomdaily]

Demonic Possessions Ch 9: Love Advice & Interior Design

Note: Here’s the Master List for the full story. I recommend reading my stuff on my actual Blog if you enjoy OM! official music! Thank you so much for the support. Please let me hear from you in the comment section. I wanna talk OM!

I decided to make this chapter with more light banter and fun interactions and give the nephilim brothers some attention.

Warnings: Swearing, NSFW implied, light stuff this time ********************************

A couple weeks had passed. Construction on the attic was nearly complete. Lucifer and Azriel had negotiated a schedule in which the nephilim brothers would work on the attic bedroom for their sister. This helped avoid chaotic mornings, at least where the nephilim were concerned.

The overall mood of The House of Lamentation had shifted from the unease of having a new occupant amongst the Brothers and Lilly, to an odd sense of which the brothers had never experienced before. A shift in their dynamic as a family twisted due to a certain blossoming relationship.

Leviathan had become more outgoing and less reluctant in participating in events. He was more welcoming of everyone hanging around his room as well and his mood was less-likely to sour thanks to Lena. His brothers were happy for him, but it was an unusual experience for them as well. It was hard to ever find the two of them apart from each other.

“Thank you for doing my nails Asmo!” Lena chimed, “Your skills are amazing!”

Asmo grinned with brimming confidence, “Of course they are Leee-na. I’m an absolute master with nail art.”

“He’s also the best hair stylist.” Lilly chimed.

Asmodeus’s room had transformed into a spa for the two female residents and himself. The human was laying on his bed with a face mask and cucumbers over her eyes as her toe nails dried. Her hair was in a towel and she was completely relaxed as she sipped on her mimosa.

The nephilim had a peel on her face as she sat in a lavish chair while the demon painted a cute black cat on her accent nail. She too had her fill of mimosas as they relaxed from a week of cramming for a chapter test in alchemy. The math involved was exhausting, but she’d probably do well enough.

“Your brother is almost as bad as my old man when it comes to studying. I’m doing my best to be civil about it, but it’s getting on my nerves…”

Asmo gave a dramatic sigh, “If you think he’s bad now, wait until midterms. It’s a boot camp nightmare.” He then exchanged looks with Lilly as she peeked at them from her cucumber. He was underselling Lucifer’s regime.

“You know….” Asmo began with a sly voice, “I’m surprised Levi isn’t in here to get his nails painted…” Lena knew he was just baiting her at the mention of his brother. He wanted to open a dialogue to gossip about their relationship.

Shrugging, “I offered an invitation but Levi’s nails are still great from the last time you painted them. He’s also really engaged in a super hard game. The last time I saw him, Beel and Belphie were watching him battle a boss. It was getting intense in there…” It was also extremely cute, she thought.

“I’m just saying, given the fact that he’s the Avatar of Envy, I figured Levi to be a little more possessive and be following you around a lot more.” his younger brother admitted.

“Not gonna lie…” Lilly added, “I kinda anticipated that myself.” The brothers were all very possessive and it was easy to picture any one of them being like that. Well, Lucifer excluded. He was too damn cocky to believe anyone would stray from him ever.

Lena thought about it for a moment, ‘Well, I took your collective advice and talked directly with him when we went on that first date. I laid it all out for him: I’m not being held down to any single relationship. And in a kinder manner, that I basically don’t want to deal with jealousy. I’ve given up on monogamy….” he chuckled for a moment, “He actually compared me to you Asmo, and then asked if I wanted to start a reverse harem...and ya know what, I kinda like that idea haha!”

The other two blinked for a moment and joined in the laughter. “Pffft, that’s definitely a Levi-type of conclusion…” Lilly chuckled. She peeled the cucumbers off and ate them as she sat up. “It looks like you guys reached an amicable agreement then?”

The nephilim looked upward, clearly thinking about it for a moment. “We have. He agreed to an open relationship and to not be overly clingy with me. It’s beneficial to the both of u-”

“BOTH!?” Asmodeus interrupted, “Please explain!!?! Has my big, nerdy brother been hiding some secret affairs over these past few centuries?!” Why would it benefit the both of them, when only one of them has even been in multiple relationships?

“Oh, it’s quite simple really,” Lena chuckled, “His 2D waifus. I won’t ever complain about them or come between him and his fandom and I can have relationships with others as well. Besides, we’re immortal beings...forever is a realistic timeframe for us...why cling to each until we both become miserable? Monogamy hasn’t ever worked for any immortals I know...what about you?” Of course she was asking Asmo as he finished her last nail.

The demon shook his head as he released her hand and got his DDD ready to take pictures of his work for the gram. “Not that I’ve ever paid attention to it, I really can’t think of anyone...even angels drift apart and take loooooong breaks.”

“Well that’s a bit depressing….” Lilly mumbled.

“Oh, Lilly dear...don’t get depressed about it. It’s the beauty of humanity. You guys are far more capable of having a one, true love...not that you have to stick to it. It’s a valid option though.” She didn’t mean to depress the human. In her very long life, Lena had been in 100+ year relationships with various long-lived beings and it never seemed to work out. She was now trying this open relationship thing so that she didn’t feel tied-down or tired. She didn’t want anyone she was with to feel that way either.

“It’s all good. I was teasing for the most part.” Lilly smiled, “There’s only so many ways a person can spice things up and keep their relationship fresh; I’m sure an immortal couple could really struggle after a few centuries. It’s that case in my favorite vampire novel series anyways…”

Asmo didn’t comment on the matter. He couldn’t relate since he was loved by all and could charm anyone he wanted. He never for a moment considered a relationship because he could never love anyone more than himself.

“So, since you’ve found a way for things to work, have you guys……?” He smirked at the nephilim.

“ASMO!” Lily shouted. He merely chuckled.

“It’s none of your business…” Lena responded.

“That would be a solid ‘No’ then.” He quibbed. Lilly exchanged a look with him and nodded.

“Y’all are both horrible! It’s hard given he’s so reclusive and nervous. But also very cute….NO! I’m not talking with you guys about this, especially you Asmo. I’m not giving you any ammo to blackmail Levi…” She paused for a moment and contemplated, “I know he’s shy. But I also….”

“Also what?” Lilly blinked.

“I don’t know how to approach him. I’ve never been with a demon. Are you guys...very different for other beings?”

“Oh, you wanna see? Hmmmm?” Asmo teased. Or was he?

“Stop it!” Lilly smacked his shoulder lightly.

“Lena. You’re gonna have to make the first moves on Levi. Good news is there won’t be much effort you’d have to put into seducing him. It’s just finding the opportune moment when you’re feeling it.”

The girls both stared at Asmodeus for a moment.

“What? Is there something on my gorgeous face?” He immediately felt his pale, rosey cheeks.

“No, you’re just being surprisingly perceptive and giving profound advice on the matter.” Lilly said, “Lena should definitely wait until she feels right before taking the move. Like you said girl, you’ve got eternity. Take your time. Levi is a great guy and I know he’d never pressure you...”

Lena smiled and looked-up while thinking about him. “Yeah, he’s great. Special. I have so much fun with him. It’s nice to have someone interested in the same nerdy stuff as I am and not being picked-on about it 24/7.” Her last relationship went down like that. “When he blushes simply by me taking his hand, or how shocked he gets when I sneak behind him and wrap my arms around his waist...oooh... He’s too cute!!!!”

The nephilim squealed and shut her eyes hard thinking about her Levi-kun and the other two just laughed at her. Her responses to his cuteness just didn’t match her aesthetic at all and they found it hilarious to watch.

"Oh.." Lilly chimed in again, "They're 'normal' I guess."

Lena and Asmo blinked at the human for a moment.

"You asked if they were, ya know, compatible. I've had the horror of accidentally entering the men's bath when we went on a trip to a demonic hotspring before...I wanted to shove hot pokers in my eyes..." Lilly cringed.

"Oh, that's right! Lilly got to see me in all of my glory...jealous?" Asmo grinned.

The trio laughed and picked on each other all afternoon.

****************************

“Okay, we need a few more pieces of paneling. I want some nice filigree border work.” Azriel said to himself out loud as he took a step back to look at the progress made on his sister’s room.

Zak stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, as he watched his brother pace across the room. “Hey bro. It’s looking good. You really outdid yourself this time.” His siblings were super artsy, creative types. He couldn’t keep up with them on that. Instead, the middle sibling put any creativity into vehicle design and engineering. “Let’s take a break and go to Hell’s Kitchen for lunch. Then when we get back, you can spot anything else we need to do….”

“You do have a point. Let’s eat and come back with a new perspective…”

**************************

The nephilim brothers went for lunch, meeting up with Beelzabub and Belphegor. The twins were in the back corner, where the owner often put them so they weren’t a distraction for the other customers.

Belphegor had his arms folded on the table, propping his head up as he watched Beel chow down on ten burgers.

“Hey guys, can we join you?” Zak asked when he approached the demons.

“Sh--rr” Beel nodded as he wadded another large bite of food. Zak could have sworn the demon’s jaw had unhinged to take such a huge bite.

Azriel took a seat next to Beel. The two of them were the same height, though Azriel was much thinner, with more of a swimmer’s body then a body-builder’s. Zak sat by a groggy Belphie. They too, were the same height but different build. Zak liked to work out when he wasn’t working on a new engine.

“You guys about to finish remodeling?” Belphie asked with a yawn at the end, “I’m curious what you’ve done to my old...space.” Was it a bedroom or a prison? He didn’t know quite how to label the attic Lucifer kept him in.

Azri gave a pleasant smile, “Yes. It’s all coming along smoothly. Lena will be thrilled with it. It’s a touch of old european with her beloved gothic asethetic. She might not like the light-colored flooring, but it makes the space look bigger…” he went off into deep thought for a moment. Then, he saw some green in the corner of his eye and smiled, “excuse me for a moment…”

“Sorry, I swear Azri has ADHD or something...don’t mind him. ‘Creative Genius’ at work 24/7” Zak chuckled and looked at the menu.

“S’okay.” Belphie nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. “Sounds like you’ve had a lot of things to do. It’s nice putting in that effort for your little sibling.”

The twins and Zaksalamel chatted and ate their lunch, nearly forgetting that the elder nephilim had even came to Hell’s Kitchen. When he finally returned, there was an empty plate left at his spot.

“You shouldn’t have ordered and left when sitting by Beel…” Belphegor responded after seeing the shocked expression on Azri’s face. “Your food didn’t stand a chance...and apparently the napkin…”

“S-sorry….” Beel scratched the back of his head.

After a moment of silence, Azriel sighed, “it’s okay. That one was definitely on me….”

Zak noticed his brother’s cheeks get a little rosy. His mind was elsewhere clearly. What was he up to. “Hey, Devildom to Azriel...where’d you disappear to?”

“Oh, forgive my rudeness..again.” He suddenly returned to the conversation. “I just happened to see someone I know and asked for their opinion about the flooring choice…”

“Mmmh-hmmm…” Zak’s eyes narrowed at his brother, knowing there was something else to it. Azriel’s voice tone was suspicious. He’d leave it alone for now.

“So, anyways, I made the right decision, and I think we will be finished with everything in 2 days.” Azri clapped his hands together, chipper with the apparent results of the consultation he’d just had. “Beel, if you’d like to make it up to me for eating my highly-anticipated lunch, could you help carry furniture upstairs? You must be very careful…Lena is going to flip out when she sees it!”

As the four of them returned to the House of Lamentation together, Beel and Belphie walked some space behind the nephilim.

“They sure seem to care a lot about their sister to spend so much time on this room. I don’t think it was that bad..” Belphegor said quietly.

‘True. But, we’d do the same thing for our sister too. And that means Lilly as well…” Beelzebub nodded.

Agreeing, Belphegor let out a small sigh. He wasn’t sure about his own opinion of Lena so far. They didn’t start off on the best of terms. No, he’d admit that he behaved like a brat that day. But he never had the opportunity to get to know her or to apologize for his overreaction. Maybe he’d help with the furniture too?

[luverofralts]

Post Arkhelios

She had put on a positive face for Abe, but internally Ulyssa was extremely conflicted about her feelings for Roman. She knew that he legitimately cared about Abe, but also knew how self absorbed Roman could be. It was the Bellamy way to act like they were above everyone else and Roman had learned a lot from his grandfather. It seemed like Abe was the only person able to cut through the Bellamy brainwashing and get Roman to feel. In the corner of her mind, Ulyssa wondered how Roman would have treated the situation if she had gotten pregnant from their brief affair or if he’d ever been able to seduce her idiot brother. Probably even worse than this, if she was being honest with herself.

Her feelings towards Roman were always in flux because of the huge wall that he put up between him and the world. She was never sure if she actually liked Roman or was attracted to him, or felt pity for him, or if she secretly enjoyed their little arguments. Maybe Abe could help bring that wall down permanently one day, or at the very least, keep Roman from pissing people off so frequently.

Ulyssa left an hour later, after making sure Abe was in an okay place about his boyfriend. If she wasn’t sure about her feelings about Roman, she at least was starting to see Abe and Lucy as friends because of all of this. In a place like Arkhelios, teen friendships seemed to be rare, and however this all ended, Ulyssa was glad that she had gotten to better know the Chuns. Between this secret, and their parents running off together, she knew that if she needed support, she could actually find some back in Arkhelios.

Abe had gone to bed immediately after Ulyssa left, if only to have some time for himself away from Lucy’s over protectiveness. His mind was swirling with thoughts and feelings that he needed to process by himself without her open anger at Roman. To be honest though, he was starting to feel influenced by her remarks. Maybe Roman wasn’t coming back after all. Maybe he would return to school, and only see his family over school breaks.

An even worse feeling came over him suddenly. What if he brought home someone else from Pleasantview? Even if it had been arranged by his grandfather without Roman’s input, Abe wasn’t sure that he could live in an Arkhelios where Roman was engaged to some rich sim and forgot about all about him. He knew Lucy thought about this possibility all the time, and it had been Roman’s mission to bring new people here by any means necessary....

Abe buried his head in his pillow and groaned. This was a line of thought for tomorrow, when he didn’t feel so hopeless.

His bedroom door squeaked open, and Abe figured that it was just Lucy checking on him again. He turned on his side and pretended to be asleep, so she wouldn’t stay to make even more pitying remarks about Roman’s intentions.

“Abe? Are you awake?”

Abe bolted up quickly in his bed. He’d know that voice anywhere!

“Roman! You’re here! I can’t believe it!”

Against all odds, Roman was actually standing in Abe’s bedroom. Unless this was some kind of magical hallucination or trick, Abe had been right about Roman’s feelings for him.

Roman looked awkwardly at his feet.

“....Hi. How are you?” Roman cursed himself internally for being so awkward. It was just Abe after all. Still, it felt weird to talk to him now without bringing up the elephant in the room.

“Lucy was convinced that you were half-way to Veronaville by now.”

Roman flushed furiously. Neither teen moved for fear of spooking the other one. Abe could feel the tension in the room like it was physically pressing on him.

“I just needed some time,” Roman said. “I shouldn’t have run...but I’m here now. I want to be there for you...if you still want me to be.”

The tension began to ease. Abe quickly crossed the distance between them and grabbed Roman’s hands, placing them on his ever expanding stomach.

“Of course I still want you here!” he said fiercely. “It’s all I’ve been wanting since I found out about this...situation.”

The two teens sat on the floor and looked at the ground. Neither one seemed to know what to say. Roman reached for Abe’s hand, which caused Abe to jump and Roman quickly withdrew his own hand. Touching each other was what had caused this situation in the first place, and Abe still had Lucy’s warnings ringing in his head. Maybe if Roman had come immediately things would have been fine, but Abe had been freaking out alone for days now, and there was still awkwardness between them. Roman cleared his throat.

“H-how have things been?”

“The morning sickness has gotten a lot better, thank god,” Abe replied, and Roman nodded sympathetically.

“That sounds rough.” He made and held eye contact with Abe. “I’m sorry that I took so long to get here. I...I’m sorry that I put you in this position to start with. I never intended for this to happen.”

Abe reached for his hand without hesitation this time.

“I know,” he said. “Neither did I. It’s been kind of a roller coaster of feelings the past few days.”

“My uncle Hunter is adopted,” Roman blurted out suddenly. “His dad was Launce Durant, and my grandparents adopted him.”

Abe realized where this conversation was heading, and he was glad that Roman brought it up first. He had heard the Durants talking about their long lost half-brother before, and everyone wondered who Hunter’s other parent had been. Abe’s mom used to date Launce, but everyone knew how Launce’s life had spiraled out of control when his brother Benvolio died. Any one could be Hunter’s mother or father. Elaine had certainly not commented on Hunter’s origins, and Abe figured that if he had a half-brother out there, she would have probably mentioned it by now.

“When I worked at the orphanage, the kids seemed pretty happy,” Roman continued, playing absentmindedly with his shoelaces. “Some of them got adopted really quickly. I don’t think anyone here would know if...if we went there.”

Tears were starting to well up for both teens. Abe nodded and wiped his eyes.

“Yeah, no one would know,” he repeated sadly. “Maybe that’s best. Hunter seems really happy, and Launce sees him all the time now.”

Abe crawled back into his bed, and Roman mindlessly followed. Abe wrapped himself around Roman and tried not to cry.

“Roman? I don’t want to be like Launce,” he whispered. “Stay with me? We can figure this out together. What’s the difference of our families finding out about us now instead of when we’re in college? It’s only a few years.”

Roman froze momentarily, remembering his grandfather’s anger at the idea of him even talking to the Chuns, and the disappointment of his grandmother for not heeding her warnings about him following his hormones. He thought of how intensely Elaine watched him while he was near Abe, and what Lucy and Ulyssa surely thought of him by now.

He pulled Abe in closer to him.

“Okay,” he vowed. “We’ll do this together. Who cares about who knows.”

Elaine left for work early in the morning, blissfully unaware of the teenage drama brewing in her house. Oriana had pressing business at the bank for Abraham’s estate, and hitched a ride downtown with her wife, leaving the house in Ironman’s control. He had been acting a little dodgy lately when she talked about the kids, but she chalked it up to him readjusting to having Elaine back in his life, and getting to know the kids he had never seen because of Elaine and Abraham’s fighting.

Ironman purposely started his house cleaning away from the noisy kitchen, where he could hear Lucy shouting. Better to have plausible deniability and not check into that, he decided. He wasn’t sure to what extent his programming would allow him to keep information from his partner, so knowing nothing was probably the safer route. He felt that Oriana and Elaine would have more compassion than Abraham had shown for Elaine all those years ago, but he didn’t want to risk history repeating itself.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lucy was shouting presumably at some one who didn’t normally live there, and was therefore a part of this messy situation. Ironman made himself scarce before he found out more.

Jorah had come over to walk to school with Lucy like he usually did, and was currently holding her back from attacking Roman.

“It’s romantic, he sighed dreamily. “Two people from fighting families falling in love and running off to start a life together....”

Finding Roman making pancakes for her brother was the last thing Lucy had expected to see that morning. The fact that they were acting so weirdly in love, and holding each other like they had planned this whole mess...It was impossible to stomach. Roman abandoned Abe for days and now here he was making a mess of the kitchen and spouting off syrupy declarations of love to her idiot brother.

“Jorah you can’t be buying this,” she groaned. “This is ridiculous! This isn’t a Veronaville soap opera, it’s real life and you two are about to ruin both of yours. Don’t let Roman drag you down like this Abe. He may have hit rock bottom, but you still have a future!”

“I haven’t hit rock bottom,” Roman corrected while flipping pancakes. “Dropping out of school means that I have time to be a dad now, and I can make breakfast for Abe every day.”

“Dropping out? You are being expelled,” Lucy corrected angrily. “And you have no money, no job and now no education. Where are you going to live? How are you going to pay for things like diapers and you know, basic things like food?”

Abe poked at his pancakes nervously.

“Well, Mom might let us stay,” he said. “Or the Bellamys. I’m sure they’d understand, and want to help raise their grandkid.”

“You think Mom is going to let Roman Bellamy live in our house? You think the Bellamys won’t just kick you to the curb? Look at how they’ve treated Adam his whole life. Look at how they’re treating him and Omar now!”

“But this would be different,” Abe protested. “Our families could come together now and be happy. Romeo and Juliet’s love always ends the fighting in the stories.”

Lucy just stared at her brother, unable to comprehend his line of thinking.

“No, you know what brings Romeo and Juliet’s families together? Death and lots of it.” She pointed at Abe with intensity. “If you decide to bring this idiot to Mom or walk into Salem Bellamy’s house with a baby, that’s all you will get too. If you are really serious about ruining your life, then go anywhere but here with Roman. Go to Pleasantview. Go live out your stupid fantasy in Veronaville. Just leave before you become yet another unsolved murder here.”

Lucy stood up dramatically, dragging an open mouthed Jorah with her.

“Some of us still have school to attend.”

[somerpmemes]

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist S1 Starters

Change as needed. More under the cut.

“Quick question: do you always have to play and sing your music that loud?”

“Why are you up so early anyways?”

“Oh, I didn’t go to bed.”

“So, you’re ready for this?”

“I just really don’t wanna screw this up.”

“Keeping it lean for the ladies.”

“I need to expand my horizons.”

“It was literally all you.”

“Now is not the time to be modest.”

“Let’s face it, the woman’s a narcissist.”

“Work your magic, feel the glory, in it to win it.”

“Well I’m not really comfortable with anything.”

“Alright, who wants some freshly delivered, slightly cold, mediocre pizza!”

“Could we maybe open a window or something?”

“They’re not that scary.”

“Are you sure this isn’t an elaborate teleportation device that will take me to an alternate universe?”

“I just wanna get this over with.”

“Is this supposed to be happening?”

“That sounds really sad.”

“Why are you singing right now?”

“Why would I sing to you? You don’t even like me.”

“Can I get you anything? Water? Vodka? Xanax?”

“Quick question: did you recently imbibe or inject anything that came from a “medicinal” type shop?”

“But I’m an open-minded person, I’m willing to roll with this.”

“Maybe you’re operating on a higher plane than the rest of us.”

“Child, I’m completely baked. Ain’t nothing going on in my head right now.”

“This is the first thing that I find remotely interesting about you.”

“Will we ever have joie de vivre?”

“My mom left me when I was young and my whole life has been a series of rejections from the opposite sex.”

“You sure you don’t hear that?”

“Let’s party like it’s 1978!”

“And you should really take everything I say when I’m high with a grain of salt.”

“That song is real dark.”

“Good music can make you feel things you can’t express in words.”

“Hey, not that I’m keeping tabs or anything but that’s like your fourth cup of coffee today.”

“That’s a whole lot of tmi I just spewed on you.”

“Who knows what other people are really thinking, right?”

“I’ve found in general death and dying tend not to be the best conversation starters.”

“If I show you something can you promise to keep it only between us?”

“This is the only thing that I can hold onto.”

“I’ve become a real expert on bottling my shame and pain and hiding it from the world.”

“Listen, I’m not an expert on this or anything but you can't just keep it in.”

“I should’ve been the one this happened to.”

“I think we’re just gonna have to stumble through it together. The blind leading the blind.”

“If you had the power to know what was going on in other people’s heads, do you think you’d feel guilty?”

“I’m going to be uncharacteristically honest with you so don’t get used to it.”

“I notice everything.”

“I just feel like everyone’s against me.”

“Two more hours and I would’ve gotten it, just saying.”

“There’s gonna be good days and bad days, remember? Let’s chalk this up to one of the good ones.”

“Mama needs an update.”

“No, no, don’t be flattered.”

“I view you more as a social experiment, like a rat running through a maze.”

“Sounds bougie, I’m in.”

“I'm not in trouble, am I?”

“Bottom line, please?”

“You’re yelling, bro.”

“I’m acting weirder than normal?”

“Believe it or not I didn’t really play any sports growing up.”

“This power is wasted on you!”

“Is this weird? This feels weird.”

“I gotta say, I am loving the energy.”

“I’m pretty sure nobody cares.”

“Any desire to tell me what this is all about?”

“Of course I know that song, it’s a very famous song. Do YOU know that song?”

“With great power comes a lot of nasty stuff don’t nobody wanna do.”

“I’m not NOT mortified right now.”

“Please tell me your day was better than mine.”

“Do I need to hide all of my breakables?”

“I can’t cook. You should see the inside of my fridge.”

“I guess we’ve just breezed right past the whole “knocking-and-waiting-for-the-other-person-to-answer” phase.”

“When I get inspired no doors will stand in my way.”

“Creative. Absolutely terrifying..”

“Could be cool. Could be confusing. Could be both. Let’s see.”

“And I’m kinda obsessed with you.”

“Door’s always open, honey.”

“So could everyone please act as if they care?”

“I haven’t breathed outside air in over forty-three hours.”

“Why did we come up with this stupid, stupid plan?”

“Dolly Parton is my spirit animal.”

“There are lots of reasons why people are unsatisfied, ___. 80% of it is sex related.”

“Do you just make these statistics up?”

“I’m gonna keep this one simple.”

“The only place I’m comfortable dancing is in my bedroom… closet.”

“Don’t ever say that again.”

“First of all, that’s terrible grammar.”

“I was a drum major in high school and that mess would not have been tolerated.”

“I have always found it helpful to vent when I’m feeling dissatisfied.”

“I don’t vent, I scream into a pillow.”

“You dress like a docent at a folk art museum.”

“Wow, we’re still talking about this?”

“___, are you growing as a person?”

“And the good news is I’ve been banned from the grocery store.”

“There’s been a radical shift in the way I perceive the world, you wouldn’t understand.”

“There is nothing in the world that I love more than your smile. But not if it isn’t real.”

“Don’t make this into a thing right now.”

“That term hasn’t been used in well over a decade.”

“I can see your side eye.”

“You can take the fifth and stop telling me about it.”

“Do you know anything about faith at all?”

“I think we might be vibing again.”

“Are you sure that everything’s okay with you because I feel like maybe it’s not.”

“See, that whole “leap of faith” thing really doesn’t work for me.”

“Empathy is a wonderful gift to have.”

“I have faith. You should too.”

“I recognize your tiny footsteps.”

“Okay, that’s enough gaping at the shut in for one day.”

“I swear this is the last one.”

“Why so secretive?”

“I am very aware of what a duet is.”

“Why do I even answer the phone this early?”

“My brain does not like functioning until night o’clock.”

“What’s the good of bad news if you can’t share it?”

“I love barely meeting expectations!”

“Is it great? Feels not so great.”

“I think you’re crushing it, that’s all that matters.”

“You two would be great in a female cop show.”

“Something’s going on with you, I can tell.”

“How do you do that? Really see me. No one else has the ability.”

“I’m just not used to negative feedback.”

“Care to tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Can I take a picture? I’m gonna take a picture.”

“Uh oh. Don’t tell me you’re depressed too.”

“My body’s doing all sorts of disgusting things to me like making liquid appear in my eyes.”

“It’s too gutless, it’s too passive-aggressive. I like aggressive-aggressive.”

“I just feel like I’m failing.”

“Why do you put so much pressure on yourself?”

“Wow. I just got a window into your soul and, baby, it is not a place I wanna visit.”

“Did you know I once stared at the ocean for literally seven hours?”

“How about you lead the way and I’ll just holler if I need any medical assistance?”

“You’d tell me if you weren’t good, right?”

“So, tell me some good news please.”

“Thank you for not trying to fix me or make me feel better. Thanks for just being real.”

“Why are you smirking?”

“Sometimes I just feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“Someone sounds like they’re in a good mood.”

“The world is waiting, so am I.”

“I have no interest in hanging around a bunch of 20-somethings talking about artisanal beer all night.”

“___, this is a classy affair. Of course they’ll be pigs in a blanket.”

“Now it’s time for a makeover which is literally my favorite thing to do.”

“No matter how hard I try I just never say the right thing.”

“At least let me help you accessorize.”

“I gotta admit this is kinda fun.”

“Now they just taste like water.”

“Who do we know with a hot tub?”

“You are super fun. Like sloppy, dance on a bar fun.”

“I might also be drunk.”

“I’m a mess… and emotional… also vodka.”

“Life doesn’t always go as planned. It just doesn’t.”

“Is it weird that I want one of those?”

“Yeah, nothing good happens after someone sings that song.”

“I hate when people assume I know their names.”

“So, you’re attractive and talented.”

“I can’t believe that happened, and how quickly…”

“If there’s something going on I’d love all our friends to hear about it.”

“You should probably leave this party before you burn something else down.”

“That’s almost funny.”

“I need that thing more than you’ve ever needed anything in your entire life and I’m ready to fight you for it if you make me.”

“I wouldn’t trust myself to ride that thing sober let alone now still halfway drunk.”

“The last thing I want to hear from you is another apology.”

“I really need to be mad at you right now.”

“Are you crying?”

“What? I’m not allowed to get emotional at a superhero movie? Lives were lost, ___. Ethical questions were raised!”

“He only responds in one letter. ‘K’? Who does that?”

“Just— let’s talk about you.”

“It’s hard to accept that I can’t do this all on my own anymore.”

“Wouldn’t peg you for a food court guy.”

“We are gonna be ultra professional from now on.”

“What’s the crisis? Did I cause it?”

“Can you believe it?! ...apparently you can and perhaps already knew?”

“___, are you okay? You look paler than usual.”

“You okay? You look shaken.”

“But I feel great and I’m gonna be totally fine.”

“Can you google that for me?”

“Are you seriously hiding from me?”

“I listen to true crime to calm myself.”

“Look, we both know I’m not good with feelings or emotions.”

“Mad respect for your pun game.”

“Men don’t check on men in bathrooms, it’s not a thing.”

“Well now I know you’re telling the truth because no one would ever lie about doing something that heartless.”

“Were we ever even friends at all?”

“Real friends have hard conversations. They owe it to each other.”

“I’m gonna get deep for a hot second so bear with me.”

“Stuff like this has been going on for a while now. You wanna tell me what’s up?”

“You’re starting to seem like a liability, man.”

“What’s the point of rising if we can’t do it together?”

“Here to pour salt on my wounds?”

“It’s all coming from a place of love.”

“It is not exactly what I expected but I’m rolling with it.”

“Watch how fast I nail this.”

“Are we talking witchcraft or just shameless career advancing?”

“I’ve got a super chill brain that never needs calming, so…”

“Was I just singing out loud?”

“Am I going crazy? I feel like I am. I mean, I don’t know what crazy feels like but I feel like this is it.”

“That’s… bad.”

“Are you fine? I mean, I know you’re not fine but…”

“Can you schedule your nervous breakdown for another day?”

“In solving one problem I’ve created another.”

“I… I don’t know why that happened.”

“Okay, yes, I’ll admit I’m in a good mood but it’s for completely unrelated reasons.”

“Okay, this is getting worse by the second.”

“I apologize in advance for whatever’s about to come out of mouth.”

“I'm really sorry. Just know, it’s not me, it’s my body.”

“That’s such a strange way to phrase that.”

“There you go, now you know. Hey, that rhymed.”

“I will go to the supermarket… one day.”

“I ruined my entire life yesterday.”

“I just call that uninspired.”

“Honestly, I think I’m broken.”

“What exactly is going on here? A creative inspiration or a massive cry for help?”

“I’m broken and I’m gonna die alone.”

“How do you go through all that suffering and not let it break you?”

“I don’t know what to do. And it’s tearing me up inside.”

“Hurt people hurt people.”

“I think it’s best if you don’t look at me or worry about and focus on what I’m thinking or feeling.”

“It can be challenging sometimes, knowing the right way and the wrong way to care for somebody.”

“Well, it’s the almost-thought that counts.”

“That’s a terrible surprise face.”

“I think it’s finally time I focus on my own happiness for a change.”

“I don’t want to talk. Lord knows that we’ve done enough talking.”

“I’m exhausted. And exhilarated. And thoroughly depleted.”

“Stay aloof, reveal nothing, keep small talk down to a minimum.”

“You’ve been there for me, I wanna be there for you.”

“Don’t smile at me, I don’t wanna look at your sad, appreciative eyes.”

“What? He’s hot, I’m weak, you do the math.”

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a hoodie before.”

“This would be a great place to murder someone, huh?”

“So, who’s ready to talk about death?”

“It doesn’t have to go down like this, ___.”

“You can only postpone the inevitable for so long.”

“In moments like these sometimes you have to haul out the big guns.”

“Someone better be dead or dying, I’m not in the mood.”

“I am worried. This is how I compensate.”

“I find you charming and disturbing, like a Pomeranian wearing a tutu.”

“I go big or go home.”

“Death is hideous and ugly and grotesque and wildly, wildly unfair.”

“Believe me, I’m not doing well but I’m not doing that badly either.”

“I guess we gotta face the music sometime, right?”

[thewebcomicsreview]

Seeing as I don’t have a job right now (one week furlough), I managed to get a lot of writing for Saffron and Sage done today. Now I feel good! Time to ruin that with a Homestuck 2 Liveblog! Last time: Jade kidnapped “Yiffy”, much to Jane’s distress! No time for that, though, as we’re back with the Candyland Kids. 

HARRY: vrissy, i know this is a stressful predicament but i think that's going too far. HARRY: my dad believes in us. HARRY: and if he thinks there's something we can do, then there has to be a way!

Kind of interesting that Harry holds his dad’s opinion in such high esteem, considering that his dad has been AWOL pretty much his whole life.

TAVROS: Uncle john isn't to blame for this,,, HARRY: yeah, no shit tav. HARRY: this whole situation is because of YOUR insane hitlermom.

How the hell does Harry Anderson know who Hitler is? When did that conversation come up? This is a completely different universe! 

TAVROS: Is less sincere,,, than it is,,, an attempt to weaponize something difficult for me, TAVROS: In order that you can win an argument,,, with harry anderson,,,,, VRISKA: GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! VRISKA: WILL YOU ALL JUST VRISKA: SHUT!!!!!!!! VRISKA: UP!!!!!!!!

A good example of why characters like John, Jade, Vriska, and sometimes Karkat are important in Homestuck or in stories generally. They actually do shit. 

VRISKA: Neither you nor your friends have anything really important going on. VRISKA: Your lives and your planet are a total 8ore! VRISKA: 8ut somehow John loves you anyway. VRISKA: Try and be fucking gr8ful for that every once in a while. VRISKA: Not everyone is so lucky.

Vriska please do not be pining for middle-aged John Egbert. You have literally half a dozen semi-official love interests (John, Terezi, Eridan, Tavros, Meenah and Kanaya), please don’t pick the one old enough to be your dad. It was already weird enough when Adult John got hot and bothered by teen Roxy in the epilogues, to say nothing of you fucking a middle-aged homeless clown in a bush.  

thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG]

Oh, fuck you, Homestuck. It’s bad enough that Harry and Dave are both going to be referred to as “TG” in chatlogs, but now Vrissy and Vriska are both AG and have the same font color! 

TG: i've allocated the strife specibus with the scissorkind abstratus? TG: hm. TG: using this weird vocab and stuff feels... well, weird. TG: i'm not sure why, but it seems as though everything that's about to happen is that much more important now. TG: or maybe it already was, but i just didn't understand just how important until this moment.

One issue with wearing your metaphor on your sleeve as much as Homestuck 2 does is that thematically important lines become really obvious. 

I like how the triangle-shaped panel around Vriska escaping the crowd by simply walking into it is reminiscent of a magic 8-ball. That’s clever! 

VRISKA: Your society... no, your whole planet... it deserves to 8urn str8 to MEGAhell, and I'm gonna 8e the one to fly it there! VRISKA: I'm gonna shatter your paradise into pieces with my 8are hands and SHIT IN ITS GRAVE!!!!!!!! VRISKA: HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING ST8MENT! VRISKA: YOU GOT ALL THAT, JANE CROCKER? VRISKA: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S COMING FOR YOU???????? VRISKA: YOU'VE MESSED WITH VRISKA: ********VRISKA******** VRISKA: ****FUUUUUUUUCKING**** VRISKA: ********SERK8T********

There’s some extreme Dungeons and Dragons energy here, where Vriska’s plan to escape a mob of reporters working for a totalitarian dictatorship run by literal gods is to simply walk outside and publicly declare her intent to destroy the world as punishment for its sins. 

And yeah, this is how that plan usually works in DnD, too.

Man, the next page is a wall of text, whereas in old Homestuck this’d be an animation. I get “fair wages” and “small budget”, but is still feels weird to see a big Strife scene merely get described with boring-ass words.

Fearing gunfire, the few paparazzi who aren't currently getting their asses handed to them by the world's angriest traffic cone start to trip over each other, diving for cover.

The world’s angriest traffic cone.

Far away, in her lair, Jane Crocker grabs the two sides of her computer monitor with enough strength to snap it in two. She can't believe what she's watching. Behind her, from a shadowy corner of the room, there is an agitated growling noise and the rattle of chains.

Is that Yiffy? Is Yiffy an animal? Please tell me Yiffy is not a person that Jade named Yiffy. 

....Actually, please tell me that Yiffy isn’t an animal Jade named Yiffy that is Jade’s child via sex with another animal that might be my breaking point.

Vriska alights on the ground, rakes her throat, quietly spits out a little wad of blue, and wipes her mouth unceremoniously. Tavros pats Harry Anderson tentatively on the arm. Vrissy tries to be badass and cough up something too but she doesn't really make it work.  

Vrissy::Vriska Vriska::Mindfang

It’s weird that John’s sprite is the same even though he’s middle aged now, but I like that his God Tier outfit doesn’t fit any more. Isn’t it magical? Ahh, who cares.

JOHN: this old thing is pretty uncomfortable in a lot of ways. JOHN: hm... JOHN: when we get a moment, maybe the two of us could brainstorm a redesign? JOHN: no pressure though. HARRY: !!!

Oh, that’s why! That’s cute. 

JADE: theres something i need to tell you

don’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadog

JADE: john... i have a daughter JADE: shes almost harry andersons age JOHN: ... JOHN: ... JOHN: you have a daughter.

Named Yiffy?

ROSE: It was at this point that Jade came to me. ROSE: I could understand her pain quite acutely, and so... ROSE: I agreed to carry a child on her behalf. KANAYA: . ROSE: ... Without telling Kanaya.

Without-

Kanaya is your WIFE. You LIVE WITH HER. Even ignoring the question of why you’d keep 9 months of pregnancy from your wife, how? Kanaya would have been living with humans for years at that point and she’s literally in charge of reproduction don’t tell me she thought Rose just got fat for a while and then lost the weight really fast. 

ROSE: I'm... not sure why I made that decision. ROSE: I regret not telling Kanaya, of course. ROSE: But I can't say that I regret going through with it. ROSE: At the time, it didn't feel as though the deception was even all that prolonged. The whole affair was... short. ROSE: Purely physical, and nothing more.

ROSE: John, there isn't a father. ROSE: Jade and I are the sole parents of this child. JOHN: oh. JOHN: ... JOHN: OH. JOHN: oh i'm so sorry, i didn't th- ROSE: That's quite alright John, although you might like to direct that apology more towards your sister. ROSE: All I will say is that if you would like to take up the particulars with us, ROSE: Some *other* time, 

Actually, if John doesn’t know that Jade has a male dog’s genitals due to a fusion accident, I’d love to know what that all-caps OH means. What does he think happened, that Jade and Rose managed to have a baby? 

JOHN: so... how did you hide the pregnancy? ROSE: Oh, that was simple. ROSE: Jade's genes being, as they are, part canine, the gestation period was substantially reduced.

OH NO 

Yiffy is literally a furry, isn’t she? Moreso that Jade, she’s a full-on “Can be naked onscreen and it’s okay because she’s covered in fur” dog girl.

JOHN: i think i understand everything so f VRISSY: WAIT!!!!!!!! VRISSY: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME VRISSY: NOT ONLY DO I H8VE A SISTER VRISSY: 8UT YOU NAMED VRISSY: YOUR ****SECRET CHILD**** VRISSY: ********YIFFY********????????

Vrissy makes an excellent point. 

ROSE: We didn't call her Yiffy. ROSE: That would be a quite ridiculous thing with which to burden a child. ROSE: Her full name is Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley.

Vrissy looks as though she is about to shit the belltower they are standing in, brick by brick.

ROSE: It was, in hindsight, a monumentally terrible decision acting as the final chapter in a long series of novels, each one full of progressively more terrible decisions than the last. ROSE: But that is the name that we decided upon.

Oh, wait a second. Vriska changed Vriska Maryam-Lalonde to Vrissy, and changed Harry Anderson to just Harry. So obviously she’s going to rename Yiffy to literally anything else, then rename Tavros, and then we’ve got a new set of four kids as Vriska leaves to do something else. That’s what going to happen, right? Right? Please? 

ROSE: You have to understand... this whole situation ended up playing out a bit like an ironic game of chicken between the two of us. ROSE: Something that far outstripped anything that the Strider fraternity could have produced in their wildest, most jpegged creative wet dreams. ROSE: But in the end that triumph of irony came back to bite us in the fucking ass, as irony is wont to do. ROSE: There was absolutely no possibility of us casually letting you all know that, by the way, we had had a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking. ROSE: At least, not right away. ROSE: But carapacian change-of-name paperwork is so complex and circuitous that, eventually, keeping quiet forever just seemed like the more reasonable option.

This is, even for Homestuck, monumentally stupid. You named your daughter Yiffany Longstocking as a joke and then kept the child secret because you were embarrassed. You two are awful fucking parents. You are the worst parents in the entire series, and that includes Bro Strider and the spider that made Vriska feed it children. 

And we’re literally at the point where the writing is bad and the joke is how bad the writing is. This isn’t enjoyable to read; you can’t make a bad B-movie My Immortal fanfic on purpose.  

Even now, Yiffy is likely being held at spoonpoint

I feel like “Jade and Rose have a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking” can be a joke or it can be drama but maybe not both at the same time.