#just a remnider
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sorry for the lack of art this weekend. irl stuff happened ! things will go back to normal again this week, hopefully
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number 1 science guy
#my favorite hl sound is the crowbar..i like to think the gordon in my videogame likes it too#half life#hl1#halflife#gordon freeman#half life gordon#also i keep getting the most absurd science & physics stuff on my youtube shorts#it remnids me of him....gazes wistflly#the dish soap thing is real btw#my stuff#um i jusr realized theyre all facing the same direction. No theyre not#WHAT I JUST DELETED ALL THE IMAGES WTF!!!!!!!
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7/25
Card: The World
Well, it's funny how off track I got with this blog. I suppose I can blame it on being too busy for anything but to be fair, a lot has happened since the last post and now.
I got into the programming bootcamp I wanted to get into! It has been amazing, and I fee like it has really pushed me to new heights. It's been so scary and challenging, but I'm realizing that through struggling intellectually you're forged into a stronger person. That's something I do appreciate about this program, they just keep on going and do not stop. They're pulling you along for the ride the entire time, and I'm just trying to hang on. Honestly, it's inspiring how hard people can work and focus on things.. It sometimes makes me wonder what is wrong with me, or how normal is it to be able to focus on something so intently for so long. I feel like I have trouble getting my focus together unless I'm aided by chemicals like nicotine and caffeine.
Anyways, it's been going pretty well, and I feel like generally I'm been a bit unhealthy mentally and physically. Back when I was consistently writing those blog posts, I felt like I was on much more of a routine and sticking more consistently with it. But I really think that Walker's wedding through me out of synch with my routine. I have honestly dealt with my frustrations about getting thrown from my routines be events, friends or family in my life, but I've since reckoned with them.
I suppose that really is what life is about, getting tossed from what you know in life out into the unknown. Life is so chaotic, in spite of humans wanted to systematism and order everything around us.
That's one big thing I've had to embrace and consistatnly remnid myself of. I wouldn't go as far as some meldoramtics to say that life IS suffering, but it is about constantly struggling. You are going to have to struggle with everything for the rest of your life until you die, and thats what being a human being is.
I used think think:"well, what's the point to life then? If it's all suffering, then why Don't I just end it?"
And you know, that line of thought can make sense. It may be hard to remember this, but the whole of human existence is saying "yes instead of "no". The way we evolved and continued evolving, (as we are still evolving today) is all about growth. Do you think growth is comfortable and easy? No, it is unclear, scary, and painful. But, that is the fate we are assigned to as humans. At any point, the living cells that make up our bodies can just say "nope" and quit out on us, but they don't.
Fighting to stay alive and continue to go is all we are as humans. There's a lyrics from the Power Trip's thrash-metal song Waiting Around to Die that I really enjoy that says: Human "being" has lost its meaning when you refuse to fight.
Anyways, I'm just coming to embrace that I'm going to struggle for the rest of my life, and I should be thankful for the struggles that I deal with where I know the answers, because I'm going to encounter even harder struggles in with that don't seem to have answers.
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just read a post that remnided me one of my friends got tumblr like last week and asked me for my tumblr and obviously i don’t want my friend seeing my tumblr so i just lied about my url and they looked it up and it wasn’t there obviously and now they want me to link it to them what do i do how do i explain this is not a social media for people that actually know you to see
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hey amaniz what do you thnk of viktor and amadeus?
amaniz:”o-oh well sir v-viktor kinda s-scared me a-at firrst b-but then h-he soon r-remnid me of u-uncle gajeel” she smiles softly
gajeel:”what do you mean i remind you of him?”
amaniz:”i-i dont know you just k-kinda do e-except he’s nicer” she mumbles
amaniz:”then theres sir amadeus” her voice lowers
amaniz:”he’s impure and aunty lilly is in love with him no less.making her impure as well” she growls
lilly:”ohh no..”
lexiy:”shit not again...”
star:”hey uhhh everyone could you not send amaniz ask for the next hour or so just till her magic cools down”
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