#just a reminder that the paper’s thought they were having ‘marriage problems’

[aimeedaisies]

✨ 15 days of Princess Anne ✨

August is Princess Anne’s birth month and her 73rd birthday is on the 15th so until then we will look at her fascinating life, one photo for every year!

The 2000s

2000 Princess Anne sat behind a stall at the Gatcombe Park Horse Trials on 6th August 2000.

2001 Princess Anne visiting the King's Royal Hussars of which she is Colonel in Chief on 21st June 2001.

2002 Princess Anne with her husband Commodore Tim Laurence at the Royal Albert Hall in London for the Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance on 9th November 2002.

2003 Princess Anne, Tim Laurence and Peter Phillips celebrating Zara Phillips when she placed second at the Burghley Horse Trials in September 2003.

2004 Princess Anne and her husband Commodore Tim Laurence at Kiri Te Kanawa's 60th birthday reception at Marlborough House, on 31st March 2004.

2005 Princess Anne embracing her daughter Zara Phillips as Peter Phillips watches on after she won gold at the European Eventing Championships at Blenheim Palace on 11th September 2005.

2006 Princess Anne at The Festival of Trees auction party for Save The Children, at the Natural History Museum in London on 5th December 2006.

2007 1. Princess Anne and her husband Tim Laurence giving each other serious heart eyes at the Festival of British Eventing on 5th August 2007.

2. Princess Anne and her husband Tim Laurence dancing ever so close to each other at King Harald's 70th Birthday Gala Dinner at Royal Palace, Oslo on 24th February 2007.

3. Princess Anne and Tim Laurence walking arm in arm to the Christmas Day service at St. Mary Magdelene Church at Sandringham, on 25th December 2007.

2008 At the photoshoot at Windsor Castle after the wedding of Peter Phillips and Autumn Kelly, which was held at St George’s Chapel on 17th May 2008.

2009 Princess Anne with the Irish Guards at the St Patrick's Day Parade at Victoria Barracks, Windsor on 17th March 2009.

[retroellie]

Little black dress

Summary: After wearing a little black dress that gave nothing to the imagination, Daryl decides to drag you to the bathroom and remind you who you belong too.

A/N: It's been awhile y'all! Omfg, I have been so busy writing a book that started out as a passion project but now I'm like really into it lol. But this is filth, and honestly took me 6 days to write no mf joke. It didn't really read through it so it might be messy lol, anyways miss y'all!! enjoyyy <3 (also it is so fucking long, omfg...I'm used to writing long chapters in my book HKAHKSHFJA)

Warnings: Sexual harassment, public sex, face fucking, unprotected sex, BDSM, mentions of SA (kinda?), just men being gross tbh, dirty talk

Word count: 13.7K

It had been years since you actually had to worry about what you were wearing, even longer since you had to dress presentable. But here you were, caressing every inch of your body trying to decide if your short black dress was "presentable" or plain slutty. You were teetering towards plain slutty, the way it hugged your curves slightly... showed a bit too much of your scared-up legs, you're breast perking to attention as if they were made just for it.

You examined your body, wondering what everyone would say if you showed up to something so classy wearing this. The dress code was nothing special, "Halloween costumes and formal!" the flyer said. You had nothing that would be considered either of those, maybe you're old bloodied shirts from before the commonwealth... you could dress like a walker. However, you had to look approachable... as if you were a reporter of some sorts.

You sigh softly, brushing your hair from your face as you exited the bathroom. You don't even know why you cared so much, it's not like you actually wanted to go to this stupid ball. You were only going because you were helping Connie out with her story. You promised her that you would talk to some people there, and write down their opinions of the commonwealth. You told her you would look presentable and approachable, something you didn't look very often.

"Plain slutty" wasn't a bad thing, before the fall you would dress that way on a night out anyway... But you weren't who you were back then. You didn't want all the male or female attention, especially in a new town like this. They would whisper, they would gossip... no matter how pretty you looked in your cheap dress, you knew they would be merciless.

You walked to yours and Daryl's shared room, grabbing your bag you've had since the fall... it didn't match the outfit at all but you needed something to remind you who you actually were. You placed the bag on your shoulder, turning around only for your attention to be drawn to something shiny on your bed. Your husband's knife...

"At least Daryl will be there." You thought to yourself, biting your lip softly as you stared down at the knife. This new life has been a fairytale almost, almost like the entire apocalypse thing never actually happened... like you and Daryl were just a normal married couple with normal problems. It was so weird worrying about small things again, like what you were going to wear for this stupid masquerade ball.

You two had been "married" since you became a part of the commonwealth. It was strange, especially since everyone called you "Mrs. Dixon". You had been with Daryl for around 7 years, but you weren't married. However, when coming to the commonwealth there was an option for you two to be married "legally". You couldn't help but laugh when they brought it up, there was no government, and there was no "marriage" anymore. They were dead serious though, looking as if you were crazy when you laughed in their face. But you signed the papers basically stating yours and Daryl's "marriage"... so now you guys just are.

Daryl was a security guard at the ball, leaving much earlier than you to go do his job, so he had yet to see the way the dress showed off what was his. Suddenly your mind went another way, remembering the last time you wore a low-cut shirt or too short shorts... It was a decision that had you wobbling for 3 days, kiss bitten down to your calves and completely fucked. You blushed at the thought of it, hoping you could get through the night without Daryl scolding you for the too-short dress. Maybe you wanted that... maybe you wanted to tease him.

Daryl was completely comfortable in the relationship, he had no real problem with you showing your body off sometimes. But if anyone knew how a man could think, it would be Daryl. He knew the disgusting thoughts that would go through a man's mind when they saw a woman's upper leg... He knew just how they could spin that to make it sexually gratifying. It made him sick to his stomach knowing what men think when they see you... he fucks his anger out, hard and fast just like how those men think they can do to you... only he's the one doing it.

You shook the thought away from your head, making your way down the hallway of your dingy apartment. You realized how sad and depressing your apartment was, you made a mental note to get some art or posters to hang up... you needed to make this apartment into a home, or at least something ya'll feel safe coming home to. You passed by Judith and Rj's room, peeking in to make sure everything was in check... "in check" meant there was no one or thing hidden within it. The fall had done that to you, made you cautious, and made you the type of person to make sure each room was clear before leaving. Even though you personally went through every inch of the house trying to find RJ's hat just this morning... you just had to make sure there were no changes.

You finally were able to leave the apartment after making sure the door was locked 4 times. It was a short walk to the ball, about a 7-minute walk, but with heels on it was 15 minutes. You were never much of a heel walker before the fall, you envied women who could... but you never got that walk down. You would have killed to look so classy in heels, but you never got that kind of feminine gene. So you took it slow, walking with caution as you brought down your foot for each step. You looked stupid, maybe even drunk to some of the passersby.

You finally made it though, only 10 minutes late... but you found Connie and Kelly waiting for you at the entrance. You gave them a small smile, wobbling over to them. You were super close with Kelly and Connie, ever since they stepped foot in Alexandria... you guys were insufferable. So it didn't come as a surprise for Connie to come to you first when she needed help gathering "stories", which really meant gathering dirt about Pamela. You were more than happy to do it, it was something to get you out of the house and even landed you getting an invite to the most talked-about party of the year.

As you wobbled to the 2 women, it seemed as if you took them off guard for a second, completely unrecognizable as they didn't know who you were. It wasn't until you got closer that they saw who you were.

"Y/n?" Kelly asked, almost in disbelief that you could get all dolled up like that. "Jesus I could hardly recognize you with all that... boob."

You looked down at your figure, seeing just how different it was from your usual attire. It was strange being this... naked. You started to feel a bit uncomfortable, almost nauseous as you looked down at your heels. You weren't used to attention, you were but you weren't. You are not the ugliest person out there and you know that, people seemed to think quite the opposite which you didn't really agree with. You would catch people looking at your ass while walking past them or catching a feel of your breast while hiding from hoards.

You were no stranger to that attention, hell that's even how you and Daryl became what you were. Daryl couldn't keep his eyes off your hips and your lumps... that's the only attention you wanted though. The rest of them, it didn't matter to you. You could live without it, you were over wanting that attention just to validate yourself... that was in the past for you.

"what? Is it too much?" You asked, pulling your dress up just for it to almost flash your ass to the world, causing you to pull it back down just for your boobs to pop out again. There was no winning in the dress.

You searched both of the women's faces, hoping they would say all they needed to say. Kelly's eyes were focused on your face, probably noticing the cat-eye look you were trying to do... which used to be your specialty, but now you're out of practice. She was probably not used to seeing your lips so red as well, which that part is what you were most proud of simply because you made the mix yourself. You wondered what she was thinking, maybe you should run home and put on some normal clothes. Maybe this was a bad idea and you should have just stayed home. Connie brought a hand to your arm, bringing you back to reality.

"No! You look beautiful." She signed, making you feel a bit better. "Thank you for helping Y/n."

All of your worries slowly melted away just by this gesture, making you relax a bit. As said before, Connie was one of your best friends, you even learned sign language from her. Ever since you met her, she was always so gentle with you. No one really understood your insecurities or your panic attacks or the reason why you were so damn quiet all the time... but Connie did. She read you like a book, you hated it... but it was nice to know that someone could. Especially someone like Connie who would speak up for you if you needed her to. She knew you could never stand up for yourself.

You just gave her a small smile, nodding your head basically telling her that you were okay and you could do this. It was just for a night and you've taken out hordes, you've bashed a man's head in with his own leg bone before... you can take a night in a skimpy dress, you can take the attention it will give you. Plus Daryl was there, he would kill a man for touching you if he needed to and he has before. So you felt more than comfortable walking into that door and forcing stories out of men to get dirt on their leader.

"Yeah, well I'm your girl when you need to get information out of a man." You said, trying to lighten up the mood even if you were the one who needed some lightening up. "All you need is a small waist and huge knockers, Take notes ladies."

Connie and Kelly both let out laughs, boosting your confidence a bit. You smiled softly at their laughs, looking at the doors and seeing how crowded they were getting. Women in big dresses and men with fancy little tuxedos made their way into the double doors, Some were even wearing their own handmade Halloween costumes. They all were trying to get into the door, only to be met with the security who had to pat them down for weapons and whatnot. You once again felt a wave of relief, knowing you weren't the only ridiculous-looking one there. You suddenly were so thankful for it being Halloween. You sighed softly, putting your smile back on as you looked back at Kelly and Connie.

"We should probably get in before the line gets too long." You spoke, signing as you did so.

You all made your way to the double doors, Connie's hand on your arm as a way to make sure that you knew she was there with you. You appreciated it, this was a big crowd of actual people and you weren't used to that... especially with live people. You knew this night was going to suck, you were probably going to be a nervous wreck by the end of it. But at least there will be alcohol.

“But seriously, Y/N…” Kelly’s voice cut through your distraction, drawing you away from the parade of ridiculous-looking rich people. Her eyes were fixed on you, a playful suspicion lacing her tone. “You don’t strike me as the type to pull off this kind of glam… were you some kind of model or something?"

You just let out a soft laugh, walking up the stairs to the soft light illuminating the doors. You couldn't help but let your mind linger on your past. It wasn't something you were proud of that's for sure, you were a mess. You were freshly out of high school, going to college away from home so it was pretty much guaranteed that you would be doing something you would grow to regret. You would do it all... men, women, drugs, alcohol, partying until the crack ass of dawn.

It was a time in your life that was so confusing and being around people who were half your age, you weren't sure what was right and what was wrong. That phase lasted until you found Daryl, suddenly something inside you switched. He was nothing but soft and gentle with you, at least as soft and gentle as he could be. You meant something to him and that's when you realized that you weren't some drunk college girl that men and women could tear down for their own pleasure. You were someone, and that was enough.

There had been countless nights where Daryl had to carve that fact onto your skin, kiss your soft lips until you could say nothing but who you were, fuck it into you. You had lots to work on, Daryl did too... that's what made you two such a power couple. You worked on your shit together, made sure the other knew where they stood in life... who they were and who they weren't even though multiple untrue things have been drilled into your heads. You let the thought wander through your head before coming back to the moment.

"I am full of surprises." You joke back. You knew you could tell her what you really were back then, you're confused and you're hurt... but you left it at that.

-

-

The night went too slow for your liking, not even halfway through the night you were at your limit with men and you were ready to go home. As you sat at the bar, sipping on some fruity drink one of many men had bought for you, you pulled out your notepad from your dirty bag. It was almost empty, only 3 stories collected simply because the men were too focused on the way your dress laid against your breast. You swore you talked to almost 20 men tonight and only 3 of them actually had the decency to keep their eyes to themselves and answer your questions.

Most of the men didn't want to hear you talk, they just wanted to undress you with their eyes. You gagged at the thought every single time, even more disgusted by how some of them thought it was their right to put their hands on you. You could still feel a hand on the small of your back or placed softly on your hip. This dress started to feel like not a good idea and you should have caved into your desire to change into something different. You will say, that at least a lot of the men bought you drinks... you could have only gotten through this night with "Sex on the Beach" and "Strawberry Daiquiri". You would much rather have whiskey if you were being honest, you had been hanging out with Daryl too much.

You started to read through the notes you wrote down, jotting down some keywords in their stories so Connie could rearrange them for her story against Pamela. You were almost halfway through the second story and your 3rd Strawberry Daiquiri when you felt a hand on the small of your back once more.

"My, my... ya here all by yourself sweetheart?" You heard a deep voice say, you could almost feel their breath on your neck.

You jumped at the sudden touching, yelping as you turned around in the spinny bar chair. You were ready to swing on the perpetrator, you were too frustrated and grossed out to have another man try to get into your pants tonight. You lifted your hand up, ready to slap the shit out of the man... only for your hand to fall back down as soon as it went up.

It was Daryl. His shit-eating grin spread on his face as he chuckled softly at your sudden burst of violence. Little does he know, he's not the only guy tonight to say those same words and touch the same spot just above your ass. You would probably tell him later, but for now, you kept it to yourself... you knew he'd be furious, probably dragging you to the bathroom and fucking you till you couldn't walk properly anymore. The more you think about it, the more you want that to happen.

You sighed softly, closing your eyes softly and leaning against the bar. You were so glad to see him though, you hadn't seen him all night. You tried looking but you were far too busy trying not to get groped by old men or beat up by their wives. You knew this night would have been 100% better if you found Daryl earlier, he would have really made the night somewhat fun or maybe at least been your bodyguard.

"Not alone... My deadbeat husband is somewhere around here." You joke, turning back around to face your notes.

You could hear Daryl chuckle behind you, he set himself between you and the empty chair next to him. He looked down at your notes and your 3 empty cups, he knew these were not your first and definitely not your last drinks of the night... then his eyes trailed down to your dress. You had told him you would be here and what you were doing here, but he didn't know just how you were going to show up. The dress was going to get you in trouble, especially with the way that it caused Daryl's pants to tighten.

His eyes drifted down your body, the sight of your almost bare breast made him almost choke on his own tongue. Daryl watched as you brought the last bit of drink from one of your cups, watching you slurp it down. He let out a soft cough, clearing his throat as if it would clear the thoughts of what those lips could do.

"Deadbeat, huh?" he started, watching you bring the cup back down to the bar counter. You licked your lips, getting every ounce of the alcohol from it. "Well then, your deadbeat husband should be ashamed of letting you go out in something like that."

He brought his hand up to touch the fabric of it softly, placing his hand on your hip and giving it a soft squeeze. You tried to stay up straight, even if the alcohol was creating a glorious feeling between your legs that made you feel like you could melt into his touch. Even the smallest of gestures from Daryl could have you at his feet, just the tiniest softest touch could create a fire deep within you. You were feeling bold tonight though, maybe it was just the 7 drinks you had but something within you burned with the need to be devoured.

You bit your lip softly, feeling the loose skin that resided there. You looked up to him, eyes full of lust. Daryl couldn't help but feel the same kind of fire erupts in the pits of his stomach. Your glazed-over eyes, the smell of the pure alcohol that he knew was affecting your ability to think, the way the black dress was still on you even though he wanted it off. You leaned in close to him, his hand still wrapped around your hip softly.

"if only he was here to put me in my place." You spoke, words flowing off your tongue like honey.

Daryl let out a soft breath, his clothes suddenly feeling so constricting against his skin. He never knew all he needed to do was get a couple of fruity drinks in your system for you to be so... feral. It made all the blood in his body rush straight to his cock, making the head of it rub up against his jeans so uncomfortably. You were everything but a perfect angel... you knew how to talk dirty, you knew how to get Daryl's cock up and ready to pound into the first hole he could get to. But something about the way your tits looked in your dress and every single man wanting to tear you apart with their bare teeth... and yet you only wanted Daryl to fuck you in the ways only these men can dream.

Daryl looked around, being sure of his surroundings before making any stupid decision he knew he would make with you. No one was paying any attention to him... some of the men you talked to earlier were still trying to catch a peak, hoping that maybe your thighs would spread wide enough so they could see just in between them. So they could store it in their minds and use it for spank material when they need a little push. That made Daryl's breath get heavy, hands shaking slightly on your hip as you leaned closer into him... he could smell a hint of your perfume and it was giving him a slight high.

Daryl looked back down at you, seeing your soft stare... watching your eyes move down his body and then back up to his eyes. Daryl placed a hand on your cheek, rubbing it softly as he debated on dragging you somewhere more private. His lips ached, his cock already leaking with need... if anything could make daryl dixon be reckless, it was you. He almost gave into you, almost engulfed your lips with his, and made you whimper... made you his in front of everyone. However, something caught his eye... his abandoned post.

He was supposed to be guarding the door, making sure no one else came in, and making sure everyone was on their best behavior. Rosita was there, on one side of the door as she too watched the dance floor. He had a job to do, a very important one that would have you both moving up in life if he did it right. He shouldn't even have left in the first place, but something about the way your thighs looked from afar... he found himself stalking towards you just to get a better look at them. He let out a soft smile, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before he retracted away from you.

"Ya look beautiful sweetheart..." He said simply, giving your body one last glance before stepping away from you completely. He could feel your energy fall slightly as you groaned at the loss of warmth... your dress did nothing to cover you up, so his warmth was appreciated. "I gotta go do my job, I just wanted to see you before I got too busy."

You wanted to pout, you wanted to kick your feet and scream like a child... that's how drunk you were, you would beg for him if he wanted you to. You didn't find that fair that Daryl could get you going, put his hands on you, and warm you up just to pull away like it was nothing. You were too drunk, too cock starved, too horny to let him leave you like this. Your legs were wobbling already, you're cunt throbbed and every time you would move your legs it would create irritating friction that you wish were from his fingers. You sighed softly, not done with this just yet...

"Well that's too bad..." You said, hopping down from the bar stool. Your dress came up a little too high, showing just below your ass. You pulled it down, which once again caused your breasts to pop out... but this time you wanted them too. You watched as his eyes focused on them. "I'm wearing my best panties... I was really hoping someone could help me put them to use."

You sighed dramatically, grabbing your bag and throwing it over your shoulder. Daryl gulped back a comeback because there was nothing good that was going to come out of his mouth. He was torn between two nasty names.... some of the most degrading names he could think of. All he wanted to do was slam you against the bar counter, tell you how fucking slutty and how much of a fucking whore you were... 2 things he knew you loved, he knew it made you weak in your knees just thinking about it. But he had to keep it cool, y'all were in public and he would like to keep those names between the two of you.

You stepped up to him, looking down at his obvious erection... you smirked to yourself knowing just by your words you did that. You looked back up to his eyes, reaching up to adjust the buttons on his shirt and patting his shirt down. You could tell just by his eyes what he was planning on doing to you, you could tell you were in trouble. You leaned up to his ear, standing on your tiptoes just to make sure he was the only one to hear.

"I will be in the men's bathroom if you need me..." You whispered, pecking his cheek with your lips just as he did to you. You swear you could see his eyes twitch, his anger rising within him as you teased him softly. You gave him a soft smile. "I hope to see you soon, Mr. Dixon."

You said, teasing him even further and not giving him any time to even react to your words before you walked away. You could feel some eyes on you as you walked away, except they weren't Daryls... they were the countless men that weren't Daryl, their eyes boring into your skin but you paid no attention... they weren't your target audience right now.

You were able to slip into the men's bathroom without anyone noticing, which was tricky since every man and women's eyes were on you the entirety of the night. You knew you would get some attention but the amount you got was overwhelming... you forget sometimes that a lot of these people have been in the commonwealth since the fall, most never experiencing the horrors just outside of their walls. So when a woman who is covered in scars speaks so confidently to them, it is intriguing. Not to mention the way your body curves, how it dips and stands out so perfectly. Not a lot of women in the commonwealth have that kind of "fighting for your life" kind of body type.

You open the door to the men's bathroom, slipping in before anyone notices you even did. You choose the men's bathroom simply because you knew it would be easier for Daryl to slip into and away from his post for a bit, allowing him some time to fuck the shit out of you. Luckily the bathroom was empty but you didn't spend too much time making sure since you knew someone could walk in at any minute, so you entered one of the stalls and locked it.

The bathroom was one of those nice ones you see in fancy restaurants, the stalls were almost like little rooms that only held a toilet and a trash can. The walls surrounding the toilet were painted a cream color and went all the way to the ceiling down to the floor. These were the types of bathrooms that were perfect for fucking if you're being honest, I mean the privacy... it was almost as if they were made for horny couples who need to let some steam off.

You sat on the toilet, imagining all the possibilities and positions you could find yourself in the small confinement of the 3 walls and door. Your eyes locked themselves on the door which was the only "stall-like" thing in the small area. There was a large gap between the door and the floor, making it so you were able to see the shoes of people who walked by. Luckily you could see none, but the anticipation of seeing those black boots with the mix-match shoe laces... Jesus, you hoped he would come, you didn't even give him time to answer.

In this moment, the anticipation and the hope you don't get caught brought you back to when you and Daryl started seeing each other. while on runs or even around the small time you and the group were on the road... Daryl would get sexually frustrated from watching you, his cock rock hard and eventually he couldn't take it anymore. He would grab your shoulder, bringing his mouth as close to your ear as he could... growling into it that he needed you, ordering you to go to a secluded area and "wait like a good girl" for him. You were so needy for him that you did exactly that, sometimes waiting an hour before he showed up and fucked you into the dirty ground.

That was around the time when your relationship was kept hidden, Daryl's choice. He told you it was because of the 15-year age gap between the two of you, he was worried about the things that would be said about the two of you. It was strange for a 37-year-old man to be romantically involved with a 22-year-old. But deep down you didn't believe his words, you subconsciously knew it was because he didn't want to get close to you. He had this thing with trust, so it came natural for him not to want to trust you at first... he was okay with just fucking you and leaving you limp on the forest floor. However, somehow along the way... he fell so deeply and utterly in love with you, that now he feels ashamed if he has to hide you.

Suddenly, you were pulled from your thoughts when the bathroom door opened. A slight tingle made its way through your body and it wasn't the good kind. You placed your feet on the toilet along with your body, hoping the person didn't see your high heels, and called security to come to escort the woman in the men's bathroom out of the ball... that would be embarrassing. You heard the person's heavy footsteps, not able to see their shoes because of the walls of the small bathroom covering your view. You held your breath, trying to keep yourself quiet as the person made their way to the stalls.

You listened closely to the steps, hearing them walk closer and closer to your stall. Questions filled your mind, did someone see me come in here? Is it one of the men who now thinks this is his chance? Am I completely fucked and was this a bad idea? Fortunately, it didn't take too long for your questions to be answered because when the two heavy-duty work boots with the mix-match shoe laces appeared between the gap of the floor... your body relaxed slightly.

You chuckled softly at your worry, realizing how fucked the fall actually left you. You were expecting Daryl yet your mind went to the worst that could happen... Jesus, hopefully, the commonwealth will ease your paranoia.

Knock

knock

knock

Those three knocks were too familiar to you. It was the knock you and Daryl used when hunting or when you holed up in a random cabin for the night... it was just a way for you two to say "Hey it's me. You're safe.". You smiled softly, standing from the toilet and wasting no time in opening the stall door. The stall door opened to reveal your angry-looking husband, he did not look too happy about the fact he had to fuck some sense into you while he had to do actually important things, like make a living for you two. You couldn't help but laugh softly at his face, how angry he looked... you were feeling the buzz of the alcohol throughout your body and it was hitting hard. You leaned yourself against the door frame, making sure your hips stood out as you did so.

"Mr. Dixon!" You exclaimed, almost as if you weren't waiting like a little dog would for its owner... You placed a hand on your hip, head laying against the door frame. "I didn't expect to see..."

You couldn't even get your words out before Daryl pushed you into the stall, shutting and locking the door behind him. He pushed you against the stall door, attacking your neck roughly. The warmth spread across your body, your body going limp for only a second before you threw your head back onto the stall door you were pushed against.

"Shut up..." He whispered into your neck, biting and sucking at your soft spots. He wrapped his arm around your waist, keeping you in place as he worked his mouth on your neck.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, trying your best to stay up straight as he basically touched you in all the ways you craved. It was fast, very fast as he basically speed ran trying to make you as wet as he possibly could get you. You knew this was going to happen, you basically begged for it to happen... but that doesn't make you any less surprised by his sudden touch. He licked a strip up your neck, biting your ear lobe softly before going back to leaving down your neck... you knew this was his way of marking you up, making sure the mark would show so pretty on your neck in your black dress, scaring away the men's attention.

His kisses led down to your chest, leaving bite marks here and there as he did so. You could come undone from his abuse on your neck, your body arching into him as you tried so desperately to quiet your soft moans. Daryl pushed you further into the stall door before pulling your dress down, exposing your breast to him as he softly kissed down your body. He stopped his kisses, taking a moment to take in your squirming figure and how red you had gotten from just kissing. He leaned down, taking your breast in both of his hands, and squeezed them together before sucking on your already hardened nipples. It all happened so fast, making you not only drunk but also now high off sudden pleasure. Your hands went to his hair, pulling it softly as his soft sucking on your breast sent small zaps of pleasure straight to your clit.

He went back and forth between the right and the left, squeezing one while he sucked and licked the other. Your world was spinning, not sure if it was the 7 strawberry daiquiri or if it was the way his mouth felt on your tits. You could feel yourself getting so close to the edge, embarrassingly close... he barely even touched you and you were almost coming undone in your panties. You gave his hair a particular rough pull, trying to remove his mouth from your nipple... you were too close to the edge, not wanting to cum now... You didn't want to give Daryl an even bigger head than he already has when it came to making you feel good.

"Jesus... Daryl, I'm too drunk for the foreplay, just fuck me." You whispered out, your words shakey as you shivered from the cold air brushing against your now slobbered-up tits.

Daryl detached himself from you, your hands still in his hair as he did so. He tried to hide the smile from you but trust and believe the way you were begging made his own high come to him. He couldn't tell which one of you was drunk, and he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol this entire night. You leaned against the stall door, the lock from the door digging into your back. You squirm underneath his gaze, feeling his hands make their way back to your waist. Your tits are still standing to attention, red and puffy from his kisses.

You breathed heavily, looking into his lust-filled eyes as he brought his face closer to yours. You could feel his breath fan across your face, the smell of your shared toothpaste bringing memories of the nights you would have together in your small apartment... All the nights spent bent over the sink as he rammed his cock into you, praying Judith and rj were asleep, or even the days where you two just had to be with each other. So you filled the bath, lit some candles, and spent hours making out with each other... no fucking, no dry humping, no cumming onto each other. Just you two, taking in each other's presence and exchanging saliva.

"You beggin' me?" He whispered, lips hovering over yours as he spoke. You debated on reaching up, touching his lips with yours... speeding this entire thing up. But you couldn't deny you loved a long drawn-out fucking session in a fancy bathroom.

"No..." You teased, smiling up at him as you brought your face even closer. Your eyes make their rounds from his lip back to his eyes. "Simply asking for a favor."

You had a way of getting underneath Daryl's skin in the most delicious ways, with your innocent-looking eyes and your silky smooth voice. He knew better though, he knew you were far from innocent. Not only have you done things, murderous things that to this day you will never be able to repent from... but also sexual things that have the angels crying. You have allowed Daryl to fuck you on the dirty floor of an abandoned cabin while your people were only mere inches away from you. You have fucked him while covered in blood, even going as far as to cover yourself with more blood because it turned you on so much. You have asked to be held at gunpoint while you sucked his cock, asked to ride the handle of his knife, asked to be slapped in the face until your nose bleeds.

You liked pain, you loved every ounce of it and it was heartwarming that you trusted Daryl enough to be so open with these things... but it was disgusting how you did these disgusting things with such innocent eyes. However, Daryl was a sucker, because he did everything you asked him to with a smile on his face. He never knew he held such a disgusting pervert deep down inside of him until he came the hardest he ever had while fucking you by a trapped walker. Although, with age and the further you got into the relationship, you both settled down a bit. You two were so fucked for each other, you were basically cumming at the sounds or each other's names.

"Real cute... Just asking for a favor huh?" Daryl mocked, his hand running down to the top of your cunt... stopping so he could watch your squirm. He had other plans than to give you what you wanted, you guys were already fucking in a public restroom while hundreds of people were outside.. might as well go the full mile right? "Well then, you're gonna have to ask a lot better than that sweetheart. Knees."

He didn't have to say anything more than that before you were dropping to your knees. Daryl could cum from just knowing you would do anything for him in a heartbeat, especially sucking his cock when he wanted you to. You were never the type to turn down sucking his cock, you loved watching him come undone on your tongue... you even thought he looked so much more pretty at the angle.

You stared up at him with big eyes, your lips red from you biting them and your tits hanging from your dress. Daryl hummed in contentment, reaching down to wrap a hand through your hair as you looked up at him innocently. He ran a soft hand through at first, making sure you knew you were safe with him... making sure you were okay with what was happening. You nodded softly, a way for you to say "I am okay with this". He shot you a soft smile, running a hand once more through your hair to get it out of your face.

It started off so soft, it always started off so soft because you brought out this softness in Daryl... a softness he had never known he had until he met you. But it always ended up rough, because that is how Daryl loves and that is how you love it. Daryl suddenly gripped your hair, a tight grip that had you gasping and wincing. You groaned softly, chuckling softly at his sudden outburst... you knew you were about to get destroyed and in such a pretty dress.

"Want you to suck my cock..." he said, keeping hold of your hair but reaching down to the top of his pants. He unbuttoned them, almost ripping his belt off as he did so. "Gonna cum all over your pretty little face, then maybe I'll fuck that hole of yours."

You watched up at his hands as he unzipped them, pulling them down slightly so only his cock could come out. The sight of it almost had your mouth watering, not able to think coherent thoughts as you watched it twitch slightly. It was rock hard, the tip already covered in precum and flush red as it desperately craved friction. You knew your teasing left him desperate, and needy for your touch… but it’s as if you hadn’t touched him for days which was not true. You could not keep your hands to yourself around Daryl, so fucking was an everyday thing.

Daryl watched your eyes go wide at the sight of it, his grip on your hair tightened which pulled your attention away from his cock and back to his eyes. He couldn’t help but pump himself a few times, more precum dripping from the tip as he did so. You smirked at him which told him you weren’t done with your teasing.

“Is that any way to speak to your wife?” You asked, your words making his cock twitch even more. "Bet none of those men out there would ever talk to me like that..."

As said before, you had this way of getting under Daryl’s skin… and a little part of you enjoyed the way it affected him. It caused this fire within him that you were able to see from the outside, it was a small change in his demeanor, a small twitch of his eye that was probably only noticed by you. It was that small change that had you slightly terrified but completely and utterly exhilarated. That is the main purpose you teased him the way you do, just to see that small fire build up inside of him until he couldn't take it anymore and he just snapped. You were able to get him into so many dirty positions with that fire, so many nasty things just because of your teasing words.

Daryl's hands shook slightly, a slight hint of jealousy coursing through his blood. He gripped your hair harder, pulling some of it out, as he tried to stop his hand from shaking so much. He pulled you closer to his cock, causing a soft yelp to escape from you. His cock was now laying on your cheek, twitching softly.

"Well, those men don't know you like I do..." He said, pumping his cock one last time before setting his hand on the base of it. "They don't know my wife is a horny sex fiend who can't shut her fucking mouth... open."

You didn't have to be told twice, your mouth opening, and Daryl didn't give you any notice or any warning before he shoved his cock almost completely into your mouth. You held back a gag, feeling the head of his cock in the back of your throat already. Daryl kept your head in place, watching you fight with the urge to gag and recoil back from his cock. He can not deny how much pleasure it gave him to see you in pain, obviously the good kind of pain. The consensual pain that you allowed him to give you and enjoyed every single bit of it.

Daryl stayed still for mere seconds, allowing you to get used to the feeling of a cock in your mouth. You eventually allowed your throat to relax, looking up at him with your watery eyes as you went further down his cock. You wrapped your lips around him, staring him right in the eye as you took his entire cock in your mouth... until your nose was buried into his happy trail. Daryl almost collapsed, seeing the bulge in your throat... he could cum down your throat at this moment.

"good girl... good fucking girl." He said, trying his best to keep you like that for a couple more seconds so he could burn this image in his brain for later use.

He knew that you would be giving him that shit-eating grin that you usually give him when you get a big ego... but you couldn't since his cock was down your throat and you were loving every second of it. Once Daryl stored every single detail of how angelic you looked right now, he pulled your head back with your hair. As he pulled back your head, his slobbered-up cock was revealed... this would be another thing he would store in his mind for later.

Daryl didn't keep your head off his cock for long before he slammed your head back down on his cock, once again forcing his cock down your throat and causing you to want to gag again. You couldn't get used to it this time, you weren't able to stop yourself from gagging before Daryl pulled your head off his cock once more but like he did the last 2 times... he forced your head down on his cock once again. You couldn't help but feel your cunt flutter away as your throat was burning slightly. It was a delicious kind of burn, the taste of his cock making its way down your throat.

before you could even almost gag for a 3rd time, Daryl pulled your head away and then slammed it back down. Now his movements were quick, his cock massaging your throat as you just kept your mouth open and your lips wrapped around his cock. You dug your knees into the bathroom floor, your hand holding onto his thighs as you allowed him to use you like a literal sex toy. You felt so degraded, so disgusting... but you wanted more, you needed more. The feeling of someone walking in excited you even more, knowing that any of those men from earlier can walk in just to relieve themselves and be met with the sounds of gagging... gagging from the woman that they wished would do the same from them.

The thought of that alone, the look on their face as they realized what the gags actually were. The cold sweat that runs through their bodies, the red tint that spreads across their cheeks, the inevitable boner that pops up simply because they imagined how you looked while doing such a disgusting thing. You didn't mind someone walking in and that alone left a sense of shame within your stomach, you begged for it really. You knew it could lead to Daryl losing his job, knowing how they would look down on him because he left the partygoers he was supposed to be protecting so he could get a blowjob from his wife in the bathroom. But you would risk it all. The sudden burst of shame and excitement and complete lust caused you to bob your head along with Daryl's hands. Setting your hands on his ass so you could force him into your throat yourself.

"God... fuck, such a fucking whore huh?" Daryl moaned, keeping his hand entwined with your hair. He looked down at you, watching you work his cock in and out of your throat like it was nothing... your slobber dripping from every crevice of your mouth and onto your already spit-covered tits. "Ya like my cock in your mouth, the only thing you're good for huh?"

The degradation of it only made you speed up your movement, the sounds of your choking and gagging filling the air completely. You kept your eyes on Daryl, watching as he finally pulled his attention away from you and lost himself to the feeling. He threw his head back, eyes fluttering closed as he tried to steady his breathing. You looked up at him like he was some kind of god and in this moment... he was to you. You would have licked the floor he walked on if he asked you, in this moment and in any. Daryl was the closest thing to god you have ever believed in, because how can someone so fucking perfect be real? He must have been made from everything good in the world, like candy or fresh laundry.

You got too ahead of yourself, feeling Daryl pull your head back roughly as your rhythm becomes too sporadic, too messy. Daryl pulled your head completely off his cock, a string of salvia was now the only thing connecting you and him now. Your throat burned, it ached as you coughed softly... trying to catch your breath as you waited for what he was going to do next. When Daryl was in these moods when the fire sparked within him, he was unpredictable and that made your liquids leak from your cunt.

Daryl had a plan to destroy you completely and he was going to go through with it. You weren't going to be able to talk to another man without thinking of what Daryl would do if he saw you... you won't be able to speak for the next few days to come, or walk, or get out of bed. He was going to completely fuck you. Daryl took the base of his cock once again, placing his cock back on your cheek... watching it cover your face in your own saliva. You chuckled softly, closing your eyes as his cock drenched your face with spit. That soft chuckle made Daryl's blood heat up again, he didn't want you to laugh... he wanted you to beg for his mercy, cry so hard that you could barely speak, he wanted you to be a ruined puddle on the floor.

"Sit on your butt, head against the wall." He demanded, pulling your hair back and giving your face a harsh slap as a way to tell you that you would regret it if you didn't.

You did what you were told, sitting flat down on the floor and laying your head back on the stall wall. Daryl moved closer to the wall, so one of his hands was resting on the stall. There was only a small gap between the wall and Daryl, you between the both of them. Daryl's cock slid across your face once again, his hand pumping it softly as he made it so you were between his legs.

"Tap on my thigh if you need me to stop." He said softly, running a hand through your hair comfortingly. He was planning to destroy you, but if you genuinely needed him to stop he would in a heartbeat. "Okay?"

You nodded, repeating back a little "okay" before giving him a soft smile. You adjusted yourself so you were closer to his cock, sitting so you were face to-face with it. You were so ready... your mouth begged for it.

"Alright, sweetheart." He reached down, pulling your mouth closer to his cock as he bent his knees slightly. "All you gotta do is keep your pretty little mouth open for me alright?"

You nodded, opening your mouth once more. Daryl smiles, watching you so eagerly waiting for him. He let you catch your breath for a few more seconds, not wanting to completely overwhelm you all at once. But before you knew it, Daryl's cock was back in your mouth... his thrusts started slow. He allowed you to get adjusted to his cock once more, choking slightly as it hit the very back of your throat.

He didn’t wait too long though, after a few soft thrusts he didn’t go so nice on you. His thrusts became rough and fast, his cock slipping in and out of your throat, making your head almost bang into the stall every single time. As his cock assaulted your throat, hand wrapped in your hair as he used it as a way to keep your head back so he could fuck your throat until it ached, he imagined the way the men looked at you.

He saw you from afar all night long, watching you closely as you collected your stories. You pulled your dress down throughout the night, your tits looked heavenly under the softly yellow light. Then you would pull your dress up, revealing skin inches away from your lace black underwear. It was almost as if you were playing with him, making him a hot mess at his post. Then there were the men, all looking everywhere but your eyes... trailing down to the necklace he had found for you, but not staying there very long before looking directly at your tits. They had no shame, they slowly undressed you with their eyes and you knew it.

His thrust became even faster, your nails digging into his thighs and your eyes watered... Your choking and gagging only egged him on more as he violently banged your head into the wall. You loved every second of his abuse, throat throbbing and raw but so was your cunt. You were clenching around nothing, rubbing your thighs together to get some kind of friction. You would even go as far as to say... you were just as close as Daryl. You could cum from the sight of him alone, that's all you needed for your cunt to feel satisfied.

You could sense his orgasm nearing, his moans started to intertwine with your gagging and choking. He had to keep his hand on the wall to balance himself as his legs started to shake violently, thrust getting messy as you started to lick the vein of his cock so softly with what control you had, his hand gripping your hair roughly. If his cock wasn't in your mouth right now, fucking your throat till it bled... you would be begging him to cum down your throat, wanting to taste his salty seed as he came undone from fucking your face.

"So fucking close baby... so close." He groaned softly, trying to keep his voice below a whisper but the feeling of your velvet throat made him lose control of his own voice. "gonna fucking cum."

You hollow your cheeks, closing your lips around his cock and running your tongue down his shaft. You could feel his cock twitch on your tongue, basically begging to cum. Daryl continued his fast, rough thrust... the knot in his stomach was thrust away from bursting and you did everything in your power to send him over the edge, you craved to see the way his face contorted into pleasure as he came... how his eyes squeezed shut, his mouth opening into a slight O shape, his entire body shaking softly.

Suddenly, just before his breaking point, Daryl pulled his cock out of your mouth. You couldn't help but whine softly at this action, your throat needing to feel his warm cum slide down it. Daryl took his cock in his hand, pumping it at the same pace he was fucking your throat. It only took him a good 3 or 4 pumps before hot strings of cum shot out of his cock, landing directly on you. He milked his cock, watching as it spurted on your cheeks, your nose, almost into your eye but you closed them before it could.

"Fuck..." He let out, huffing as he leaned against the wall... his cock still in his hand as it twitched, almost overstimulated now.

You stayed underneath him, your cunt throbbing in your panties. You were sticky with Daryl's cum, with your own spit, and your sweat. You felt disgusting, you felt so disgusting that not even 10 showers could wash away this feeling... this degrading, embarrassed feeling. But somehow, your cunt still screamed for Daryl's abuse. You looked up at Daryl, his cum now dripping from your face as you did so. He looked so tired, so out of it as his orgasm still sent soft shocks down to his cock. You've noticed as he's gotten older that he has had to take more time to recover from his orgasms, it really takes it out of him.

You remembered when you first started fucking him, Daryl wore you out before he could even think about stopping. After every single nut, he would be hard all over again. It was heaven, but also physically draining. Now in your older age, you would much rather 2 or 3 long drawn-out rounds more than multiple quick fucks. Your and Daryl sexual relationship has come a long way, from quick fucks to long passionate, and kind of perverted sex. It was kind of sweet to you in a way, how you both experimented with each other and picked and chose what you liked and what you didn't. It was something no one in the past would have done for you, it was why you "married" Daryl in the first place.

"So beautiful..." Daryl said, pulling you out of your thoughts. He was caressing your face, wiping away his own cum while he did so.

You blushed softly, leaning into his hand... kissing the palm of it softly. Daryl was always so nice afterward, so gentle and sweet. Nothing like he used to be, so distant and cold... not even helping to clean you up. However, as sweet as this moment was... in a weird and fucked up way, your cunt still throbbed. You still needed your cunt stuffed, still needed it fucked raw to match your sore throat. So you dug deep into your chest, trying to find your voice and force out of your beaten voice box.

"Are you up for round 2 or are you gonna need some time to recover?" You teased, your voice raspy and almost barely there as your throat was quite literally broken.

Daryl couldn't help but chuckle, placing his head on the hand that was keeping him upright. Daryl was never the type of person to leave you all high and dry, even if you truly deserved it. He would always give you what you wanted, only he would give it to you over and over and over again until you begged him to stop. He loved watching you cum as much as you loved to cum, so he couldn't deny you the very thing he held dear to him.

Daryl finally was able to get his legs to stop tingling as much, pushing himself off of the stall wall. He now stood inches away from you, just needing to see you in your entirety. You were drenched in his cum, legs sprawled out and shaking on the dirty bathroom floor, your tits hanging from your dress, your hair matted to your forehead and neck... you already looked so destroyed, but you wanted more? He could never understand the pleasure you got out of being destroyed, he loved it too... but being in such degrading positions? Maybe that's why he was the one giving it to you.

He reached his hand out for you to grab it. You did it in a heartbeat, struggling to stand up but balancing on his arm as you did so. He took you softly into his arms, holding you up with one arm as he wiped more of his cum off your face. He slowly brought his knee up to your cunt, you gasped softly as it made contact with your puffy clit. You wanted to move your cunt up and down it, feeling the delicious friction it would give off... but you knew how much of a dick Daryl could be and how easily he would tease you, denying you of his actual cock.

"Old man huh?" He chuckled, still holding you close to his chest. He could feel your heartbeat in not only your chest but also your cunt that was throbbing against his knee. "I'll show you an old man."

He suddenly turned you around, shoving you into the stall door so your face was flat on it and your ass was pushed out. You yelped as he did so, feeling his hands pull your panties down... he wasn't going to take it slow with you this time, he wasn't going to ease you onto him and let you adjust yourself. No, he was going to continue to teach his lesson... make sure it was carved into your brain that what's his, is his, and if you allow another man to look at you like a hungry bear would to his prey... you'll know what happens.

Daryl pumps himself in his fist a couple of times, getting his cock hard again before lining it up to your cunt. You grabbed onto anything that you could, preparing yourself for the devious stretch that you begged for the entire time he fucked your throat. Daryl collected the slick from your dripping cunt onto his cock, making it nice and wet... as if he needed to, your own spit was still covering it. He teased your hole, putting the tip of his cock inside before dragging it down once again. He was trying to tease you, make you feel an ounce of what he felt the entire night with you prancing around in the slutty dress that was now bunched up around your waist. You subconsciously bucked back on him, trying to fit his cock inside your needy cunt... but he held your hips in place, gripping them so painfully that you could feel it throughout your entire body.

He kept this motion up for only seconds before he got tired of it, he got tired of your whines and your pleas, deciding to give you what you craved. In one swift movement, he slammed his cock inside of your wet folds, bottoming out in one thrust as he did so. This action made you moan loudly, almost screaming when you felt the sudden stretch of your cunt around his cock. Daryl revealed this noise, like it was his favorite song... making you scream from pleasure, making you feel so good you didn't care that hundreds of people were just outside of this door... some of those people being the family you have gathered along the fall.

Daryl didn't waste a second, doing the same thing to your cunt that he did with your throat... he pulled his cock all the way out before slamming it back in. You could feel his cock in your stomach, moving around your organs as if it was meant to be in there. You don't think you will ever get used to the size of his cock, because each time you both fucked you would always have to get used to the shape of him all over again... and each time it took you off guard. His cock was merciless, nails digging into your hips, cock buried so perfectly into your cunt... it was pure light.

You were so lost in pleasure, your moans just dripping from your mouth and Daryl allowed it... he was far too lost in his own pleasure to mind. You hoped that the loud music playing just outside would cover the noise and since no one had come running in to make sure you weren't being murdered yet, you felt it was doing a good job of covering up the noise. Daryl kept up his harsh thrust, one hand coming up to your hair to pull your head back so he could attack your neck. His teeth sunk into your skin, causing your body to go almost limp... balancing on Daryl's cock was the only thing keeping you upright.

He watched your eyes roll back into your head, face flush red as he pushed himself further into you as if there was any room for him to do so. He reached his hand that was placed on your hip, sliding it down to between your thighs... rubbing your bundle of nerves slowly. He knew you were close, he knew you could have gotten off his cock down your throat alone.... so he knew you wouldn't be able to hold on very long from his cock being deep inside you. He touched, licked, fucked every single spot of your that he knew would send you off the edge, he was proving pretty successful with it too.

But suddenly, all his movements stopped and so did the entire world for a second. While you were lost in your pleasure, the bathroom door was slammed open and voices now replaced your moans... engulfing the bathroom with their noise. You were too lost in your own pleasure to notice, your moans still slipping through your mouth and your hips trying to once again buck back into his. Daryl however was now in his "security/guard" mode now, reaching up with his hand to slap it around your mouth... pulling you flush to his chest. You gasped into his hand at the sudden action, eyes widening as you felt his cock dig deeper into you. Even though that was not Daryl's intention, it still caused his cock to twitch inside of you.

"Shhh." He cooed, his mouth hovering over your ear.

But how could you be quiet when Daryl's cock was so deep inside of you, how could you be quiet with how close his body was to yours, how could you be quiet when you could smell his toothpaste and the college he wore. but you obeyed, knowing that if you did then maybe you would get a mind-blowing orgasm out of it. You could hear two sets of footsteps, they sounded heavy... almost like 2 men. IT would make sense, if you were in the men's bathroom... You couldn't hear what they were talking about, you could hear them but you couldn't understand them with Daryl's cock grazing your g-stop.

Daryl peaked through the small gap between the wall and the door, watching the men through it. You could tell by the way his eyes relaxed slightly that the men had no idea you two were in here, that they were lost in their own conversation to pay any attention to the stall you two had been hidden behind. Daryl took a step back, pulling you along with him... his movement caused his cock to almost slip out of you, but him pulling you close to his made it once again thrust inside of you. You squirmed against him, his free hand keeping you still.

"Did you see that girl...uhh she had that black dress on? She was going around interviewing people about how they like the commonwealth?" One of the men said, you could hear him unzip his pants as he did so... soon after the trickling of urine could be heard.

"Dixons girl? yeah, I saw her alright." The other man said, his voice almost laced with lust.

You froze at the mention of you, more specifically how you were labeled "Dixon's girl". You had a name and you even gave it to them, fucking assholes. If it were any other time, you would correct them with a fist through the teeth and a knee to the groin... but right now, you were too occupied getting stuffed by Daryl's cock. Your senses were completely filled with Daryl, your cunt full of him... it made it hard to think any coherent thought, especially with how his cock pulsed inside of you, rubbing you from the inside softly.

"Dixons girl huh?" The other man chuckled, finishing up his business as he did so. You could feel Daryl's ego grow a bit, especially with how his hips started to move softly into yours. He got such a big head when it came to you, knowing you were his. "So what's the deal with them? I mean, she's like 20 years younger than that old fuck. Does she have daddy issues or does she just like me older?"

You would have corrected them once again, telling them that you just liked Daryl. You didn't go after him because he was older or because you lacked a father... They would probably have done the same thing with what Daryl did with his cock, how it turned you into a madwoman every time he pulled it out. You huffed into Daryl's hand, which caused him to chuckle silently. This was entertaining, to say the least, this entire situation was.

"With the way she was dressed tonight, I think maybe she's just a whore." The man said, causing your blood to go cold. "Maybe Dixon was just lucky enough to be the first guy she fucked."

You loved being degraded, you loved being called a whore, you loved being told you are nothing but a hole for a man to cum in... but only when Daryl said it. It was like when it came out of another man's mouth, it sounded so wrong and so degrading but in a not good way. Daryl had a way with his words that made it sound like pure honey, like candy dripped from his lips and you couldn't wait to get a taste. Daryl felt this too as if your genuine degradation actually affected him... like he could feel it flowing through his veins too. Daryl thrust his cock into you, trying to make you forget what they were saying, making you present with him instead of them.

"She seems like the type. " The man replied, the sink running as he said. Daryl once again thrust his cock into you, the knot in your stomach coming back. "Those outsider girls, man, I hear they let you do some weird shit to them."

One more sharp thrust from Daryl, his hand pressing harder on your mouth so they wouldn't hear your moans. He let his free hand roam down to your clit once more, rubbing it in small tight circles. To him, Daryl thought that maybe if you were too focused on your nearing orgasm, you wouldn't let the words of disgusting men get to you... he was slightly right because after that last sentence, their words turned to just background noise. You could feel yourself giving in the pleasure, you threw your head back on his shoulder, your back arching as you pressed your ass more into him so the gaps between your bodies were nonexistent.

"Damn, I might have to pay a visit to Dixons girl huh?" The man chuckled, the sound of zipping pants and water filled the air. "You think she'd take us both at the same time?"

Daryl's thrust started out as a way to comfort you in a way, but now with the venomous words these men were letting out... he was doing it out of anger, and jealousy as they talked so grossly about his wife. His thrusts were deep, and rough as he imagined what he would do to these men when he got done with you. How he'd cut off every single finger of one man's hand as the other watched. How he'd slit the throat of the man who even asked that stupid question in the first place, basking in the way his blood sprayed on him.

You took your hand and reached back to set your hands on Daryl's hips as he dug his cock so violently into your cunt. You couldn't take it anymore, your juices had dripped down your legs, now soaking the floor as you let Daryl abuse your pussy. You gave his hip a soft squeeze, a way to tell him "Keep fucking me, I'm gonna cum." He didn't slow his movement, instead, he sped up. Hacking away at the knot that was about to explode inside of your stomach.

"If she's fucking that old redneck... shit, she should be glad we would even consider fucking her." The man spit out, heavy footsteps leading to the door as he spoke.

And that was it, those words caused Daryl to thrust so harshly into you that it broke the knot inside of you. You almost screamed into Daryl's hand, your body tensing completely, your toes curling, your vision going white as he didn't stop his abuse. He fucked and rubbed you through the earth-shattering, mind-blowing, entire life-changing orgasm. Your cunt spasmed around his cock, liquids puddling up on the floor as you came around his cock. His fingers that were playing with your clit while you came were now covered in your slick.

"I call fucking her tits first." The other man said, another pair of footsteps followed the first ones you heard... both of the men now leaving the bathroom. "You can have him..."

The door shut, silencing the men's words which were now just jumbled as you came on Daryl's cock. You heard the door click shut, suddenly being shoved against the door once again in just seconds. You were still having the aftershocks of your orgasm while Daryl thrust into you, shoving your head further into the stall door. You moaned loudly, you're an overstimulated pussy trying to reject his cock but also craving it, his hand no longer silencing your moans. He shoved his cock inside of you, over and over again until the door was shaking along with his thrust.

You could feel his anger, feel the way that he tensed... the way that those men's words got more to him than they did to you. You could tell with every thrust of his hips that he was furious. He thrust into you only a couple more times before he groaned loudly, almost growling as he felt his own orgasm consume his body.

"Gonna cum in your fucking pussy..." He spit out, his grip on your hip tightening now and you could cum again just by his anger. "Gonna fill you up so fucking good baby... so good baby."

His words filled your brain, your body still so exhausted from the orgasm. You let him use you though, let him use your body so he could fuck his anger out. It was only mere seconds before you could feel his thick, warm cum paint your walls. When he said he was going to fill you up, he fucking meant it. He gave your pussy a few more good thrusts before he drained himself completely, his body allowing his veins to fill with pleasure. There's something about anger that makes orgasms feel so much better, feel so much more intense... and Daryl was a very angry man.

Daryl's cock softened inside of you, throbbing against your walls. He kept himself in you though, allowing you both to recover from the pleasure that filled you both. Daryl leaned down, kissing your back softly as he came down from his high, rubbing your hips to ease the bruises he left on them. This night was not supposed to go like this, you two were not supposed to fuck in the bathroom of this new town you had just been welcomed into. This was behavior that you two would do in your earlier years when you were both reckless, both so horny your hands never left each other. It is comforting, how things never really change.

"You okay?" Daryl asked, brushing your hair from your face... your face still pressed against the door and still very much covered in his cum.

You nodded softly, not able to speak well because Daryl's cock really took a number on your throat. Daryl smiled softly, slipping his cock out of you... watching his cum leak out of you. It was rare for Daryl to cum in you, he was always so adamant about cumming anywhere but inside simply because....he didn't want to knock you up, kids weren't supposed to grow up in this world. But something about tonight, he wasn't worried about you getting pregnant. A part of him actually welcomed it.

Daryl stepped back from you, pulling his pants up and buttoning them back up. You straighten yourself up, legs shaking as you attempt to pull your dress down. You weren't sure if you should bring up what happened, about the men who said those things but the words left a tension between you two. The words did hurt, you did feel massively sexualized by those men and you didn't like the feeling of it. But you thought maybe you could ignore it, it will go away on its own. Daryl noticed your struggle to put your dress back on, feeling a slight twinge of sympathy.

"Let me help..." He said, reaching over to help fix your dress. Covering up your body, his hands grazing your soft skin as he did so. He too was having that debate in his head, if you two should talk about it. "You know, those men. They're dead, you know that?"

It was almost like he heard your thoughts, could read your mind, and laid out what you needed to hear. This entire night you had been sexualized, but you didn't mind it... it was just attention to you. But hearing it while Daryl was there, feeling the way it affected him as well. It made you feel so gross like maybe all you were was actually just a piece of meat to some men. You could never imagine a life without Daryl now, how respectful he was even with his degradation.

Daryl was 2 steps ahead though, he already planned on making their life a living hell. It was one thing to gawk at you in front of your face, imagining what you tasted like or how you would look butt naked on top of them... all the while you just wanted to collect stories. But it was another thing to write you up as some lust-filled woman who would give herself any man who would ask her nicely. You weren't what they made you out to be, but then again they made every woman who liked sex like they did out to be some kind of whore. You liked sex, you liked it rough... but so did they, so why were you any different?

"Don't get yourself in trouble because of that asshole diary." You said although you urged him not to... a part of you really wanted him to. Men like them deserved to be put in their place, they deserved to be made to feel just how they made women feel. Plus you wouldn't mind Daryl coming home all bloody...

"Who said I'll get caught..." He smiled, inching closer to you, and laid a soft kiss on your cheek, wrapping an arm around your waist while he did so. Daryl was good at his craft, he knew how to be careful."So, I want you to go home... Take a nice bath, make some tea or something.... maybe get some rest. And I'll be home before you know it."

He kissed your forehead, brushing your hair from your face. It did sound so nice to just give in to sleep, especially with being a nervous wreck all night and then being fucked so hard in a small bathroom. But the feeling of Daryl going to hunt down these men, staying up till the early ends of the night punishing them for what they said... something inside of you flips, causing a small knot in your stomach to form wants more. You reached up on your tiptoes, bringing Daryl into a passionate, long kiss. This hinted to Daryl what kind of mood his actions had put you in, he pulled away when he realized... he'd already been away from his post for long enough, he couldn't go another round with you.

He chuckled softly, stepping away from you... he slid his jacket off and placed it on your small body. You were completely engulfed by it, it covered your body more than the black dress did, and you couldn't help but feel so safe in it.

"I'll leave the bathroom first, you wait a couple of minutes and sneak out. There should be a backdoor in the kitchen you can slip out of, but then I want you to go straight home okay?" He said, pulling the jacket closer to your body before setting another kiss to your lips. "And clean your face off before leaving, it's already bad enough i fucked you in here... don't need them to see the evidence of it."

You couldn't help but let out a soft laugh, zipping up the jacket as you did so. You did completely forget about the cum that still dripped from your face, you were covered in so many liquids that his cum was completely forgotten by you. You nodded your head, watching him unlock the stall door and slip out of it. You poked your head from it, making sure the coast was clear before you also slipped out of it. You looked in the mirror, jesus... you were a complete mess. You watched as he peeked out of the bathroom door, making sure he could slip out successfully.

"Round three when you get home..." You called out, making him whip his head around to look at you. He scoffed, shaking his head softly. 

[httpisaoki]

'till death do us part ft. yu jimin

sypnosis. after 10 years of marriage, even if it was only an arranged marriage, you thought that she would at least stay loyal. least to say the sounds coming from your shared bedroom last night weren't just nothing. and the moment you shove the divorce papers to her face, she couldn't let you go just like that, can't she? 

tags. domestic au, non-idol au, ceo au, cheating, angst, crying, wlw, marriage

warnings. cheating, arranged marriage, karina CHEATEDDD, oooo you mad mad, crying, ANGST. (that's all i think?)

-> part two. not proofread!

last night was foggy, karina had woken up naked, her fling right next to your side of the bed, an empty feeling in her stomach. she shouldn't have done that, she thinks, but it's too late. it's happened more than she can count and she knows that the fling she had wasn't going to end anytime soon. she feels guilty but you never liked her, or did you?

Now she stands across from you, the silence in the room makes her nervous. the papers in your hands made her anxious, she couldn't lose you. the tension in the room could be sensed miles away, you were mad--- and she knew it.

it's all clear in the way you stood against the door, a hint of anger radiating off your body. karina was scared, she felt the sweat on her palms, her eyes fixed on those papers on your hands as if she could burn a hole through them if she stared long enough. 

"please... just... wait a moment." she pleaded. 

why should she get her way when she had been the one who betrayed your trust? her infidelity wasn't excusable in any way. "I don't have all day." the  tone of you voice cold, she knew if you was angry— she wouldn’t have a chance.

she wanted to whimper in fear, the coldness of your voice could send her to tears, a tone that would make even the most powerful man cower in fear. she could feel the blood rush out of her face, her legs shaking, she just couldn't let you go. 

and then the moment of realization hit her, the tone of your voice, the way you were standing and the glare of your eyes had reminded her of something, a memory that she'd tried so hard to bury away..

"Please..."

she wanted to cry, but the fear of you turning her down stopped her tears from falling. she'd cheated because of her own problems, her own loneliness, and her own issues but she was still your wife. she was still yours.

she begged again, a tone of desperation in her voice.

the last thing she'd want was to lose you... but she knows it was her fault.

the words that would come out of her mouth right now could make or break your marriage.

she takes a deep breath, looking up at you, trying not to cry from the fear that was rising in her chest, a knot tying in her throat.

"please... i know that i cheated but..."

"stop." the ice in your tone was unforgiving, the lack of patience in those eyes would make just about everyone shut up and listen. you weren't going to be easily manipulated anymore. 

"i don't want to hear it." she flinches at the tone of your voice, her eyes fluttering for a moment before she forces herself to look up again. 

her eyes fill with sadness, those pleading words were stuck in her throat, a lump taking place in her mouth.

"after 10 years, really? I knew this would never work out." the anger in you voice had made her shiver. "but to think that you'd cheat with jaewook, one of my employees too, huh?" the venom in your voice forced out a bitter chuckle. "h-he..." the words stuck in her throat for a minute, she couldn't believe that you knew of her affair partner, then she shook her head slightly. "yes, him.." 

the fact that you knew his name made her want to shrink. your eyes pierced through her, you knew every single detail of this entire ordeal. you knew how often this had happened between the two of them, you knew she had betrayed you the moment she accepted a drink during the business dinner.

her lips parted for a moment, her brain scrambled, panic and fear consumed her. she could see your anger now, you knew everything, she was caught red-handed.  "you...you know everything.." her voice cracked as she spoke. You scoffed, "you didn't think that I'd be stupid enough to not keep tabs on you?" you smiled sarcastically, 

"we had agreed on none of us seeing anyone and being faithful even if our marriage was arranged, right? I had to make sure. and I was right, you didn't stick to your promise, karina." the way her name rolled off your tongue, the tone of disgust as you said it.

the way you had said her name, her own name, with a tone of disgust made her want to sob.  you knew everything, every single detail of this affair, every detail that she thought she'd hidden so brilliantly. 

she gulped, her throat drying out at the fact that you were well aware that she's betrayed your trust. you had kept track of her, you had kept her in your palms the whole time and she was foolish enough to do such thing under your nose.

"beg all you want, I don't care." you spoke harshly, "you know how I don't tolerate cheating." the cruel nature of your response made her flinch. her lips parted for a moment before she said, "don't you care about me? don't you...don't you love me?" 

as much as she was guilty for her infidelity, she still hoped that you liked her, that you cared for her, that you saw her as your wife despite the arranged marriage. but the tone of your voice made it clear that you didn't, that the only thing you were capable of feeling was anger, hate-- disgust.

you scoffed, "why didn't you asked yourself that before you went into bed with him?" a hint of sarcasm in your tone. "don't..." she wanted to sob, the humiliation of you reminding her of her own infidelity was torture. but the fact that she did it to herself was even worse, she was the only one to blame. but it's not like she had done it out of pure lust... no, it was her need of validation-- a need for some form of connection with a man. she'd felt so lonely in the marriage, but that wasn't your fault. she gulped, her eyes fixed on yours as the tears fell.

"Who do you think took you home after all those stressful nights that you drank until you passed out? who do you think supported your company after all those years? was it him or was it me?" your tone was cold but the look in your eyes showed that you were hurt.

"it was you..." she was reminded of all the times you'd picked her up from work after she finished her work, the times you've carried her to bed when she had passed out, the times she'd called you in tears. she owed her success to you, to your support.

a knot took place in her throat but the words couldn't come out, she couldn't find a single excuse for her infidelity. "you did...everything for me."

You hummed, "just because I didn't show it doesn't mean I didn't care. you out of all people should know that." you let out a shaky breath.

she gulped, she couldn't believe that she had thrown away 10 years of marriage for another man. your cold demeanour, your unapproachable nature, all of it was a wall she had slowly started chipping away over the years but the fact that she was the one who initiated that affair was the saddest thing of all. 

"please, I'm sorry..."

"can we give ourselves another chance? please...we can...we can start over..." her knees were nearly giving out at that point, the thought of losing you was far too terrifying. but she was the one to mess up the marriage...

but you had been so kind the whole time, despite the fact you didn't show affection, she could see that you cared in your own way. she just had to prove that she was worthy of your attention-- your love.

"fill out the papers, karina." your voice was soft, wanting to get this over with already, you tossed her the papers. "no...wait..." 

her heart was racing, she couldn't stand this anymore. the thought of losing you was enough to make her knees buckle, her heart sinking to her stomach. but the papers...

they were for the divorce, your divorce papers...

she looked down at them, her fingers trembling, the tears running down her face, and she thought of one thing and one thing alone. 

she should've never cheated.

-> idk if this is a teaser for an upcoming series of mine or if this is just my karina rip post idk but yeah, thanks for the support !! :)

[ro-is-struggling]

Breakfast In Bed || Clark Kent x Reader

Based on THIS and THIS requests

Summary: Being married to a superhero was bound to have some tough times, you knew that well when you accepted Clark's marriage proposal. However, the last few months were becoming too difficult for you as he was having trouble balancing his daily life and his responsibilities as Superman. Intentional or not, he was neglecting you and you were getting tired of waking up alone every morning. But just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, Clark surprises you with breakfast in bed and a talk that reminds you why you love him so much.

Warnings: a little angst, but mostly fluff, fem!reader

English is not my first language

Word count: 1800

Notes: I don’t know why but I always have the need to write Clark like the most romantic and adorable man in the world, so enjoy! Consider this as my valentine gift to you

You knew your relationship with Clark would be complicated from the moment you learned about his special abilities. You always knew he was far from ordinary, you just thought his greatness had more mundane roots —his kindness, his empathy, the way he cared about everyone and how he always surprised you by remembering even the smallest details, all the normal things that made you fall in love with him. You'd be lying if you said you weren't surprised to learn the truth, but it also explained a lot —the way he sometimes seemed to be able to be on two sides at the same time, his incredible strength and great sense of hearing. It made you worry about the kinds of dangers he faced every day as Superman, but it also made you love him even more. So you decided that you would stay by his side knowing full well that your relationship would be far from normal. 

Through it all, you managed to make things work. Clark was very good at keeping his identity secret to protect you. And you were great at pretending that his long absences didn't bother you, making him feel better when he was late for your anniversary dinner after a year of marriage. To be honest, it wasn't always that terrible. You did have plenty of moments of blissful intimacy, away from the outside world and the dangers it presented. And it was wonderful. You loved spending quality time with your husband, even if it was just sitting in silence working to meet some deadline for work. Just knowing he was there with you was enough to make you feel happy, loved.

The problem you had now was that he was spending less and less time at home. He came home late every night, exhausted after a long day at work —both as Clark at the Daily Planet and as Superman helping people in danger. And in the mornings you were lucky if you got to have breakfast together. He always tried to make time for you, to spend a romantic evening at a nice restaurant or curl up on the couch to watch a movie, but somehow work always got in the way. If it wasn't Perry calling him to cover an urgent story for the paper, it was a person in danger crying out for Superman. 

It was frustrating because you felt you couldn't say no. Clark would always ask your opinion before doing anything, looking at you with those beautiful blue eyes while assuring you that if you said no, he would stay where he was. But how could you say no when a child in danger cried for their hero or a tragic accident required his presence? There was no way your conscience would let you live with that decision.

You knew his work was important. Both inside and outside the newspaper, he helped people. People in vulnerable situations, people in danger, people who needed to be heard. It was truly noble of him and you admired him for his determination to make the world a better place. That was the biggest reason why you didn't say anything, but the truth was that you missed him.

You missed coming home from work and finding him waiting for you, asking you how your day had been the moment you walked through the front door. You missed going to sleep next to him at night after spending hours sharing work stories over dinner. You missed the warmth of his body wrapping around you in the cold mornings and hearing his voice raspy with sleep wishing you good morning when he still had his eyes closed. In the last few weeks you were lucky if he made it to dinner. Going to sleep alone and waking up alone in the mornings had become your routine. And you hated it.

That morning was no exception. When you opened your eyes you found the left side of the bed empty. Your arms clung tighter to Clark's pillow, inhaling his scent to make you feel less lonely. It was supposed to be his day off, but you wouldn't be surprised if Perry had called him last minute or some catastrophe had gotten him out of bed early. You had barely seen him last night. Clark had arrived late when you were already asleep and you only managed to mumble his name in the dark and hug him when he lay down next to you, and now he wasn't next to you when you woke up either. The day had barely begun and you already wanted it to end.

Letting out a long sigh, you decided it would be best to get up and do something to distract your mind. Clark wasn't there and it wasn't going to do your mental health any good to stay in bed crying all morning. So you dragged your feet lazily to the bathroom, going about your morning routine before leaving the room to prepare breakfast.

Only the moment you opened the door you were assaulted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee. You frowned in confusion, wondering if perhaps you had mistakenly left the coffee maker running all night. However, when you entered the kitchen you discovered that it was no mistake. Standing in front of the stove was Clark, flipping pancakes and cutting up some fruit while humming to himself. 

You couldn't help but smile as you watched him move. He still had his pajama pants on and his hair was a mess. You took advantage of the fact that his back was turned to you to admire him silently as a warm and fuzzy feeling spread through you. The sadness disappeared from your system as you watched him carefully stack the pancakes, taking his time to decorate them with little pieces of fruit just the way you liked. He looked adorable, bent over the counter as he arranged breakfast on a tray, ready to be taken to bed. You wanted to run over and hug him, but before you could move from the doorway Clark turned, finally sensing your presence.

"What are you doing there? You're supposed to be sleeping." he said and you could swear he sounded disappointed to see you there. "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed."

You walked into the kitchen. Just a couple of steps and you were in front of him, wrapping your arms around his naked torso and resting your head on his chest as you hugged him. Clark reciprocated right away, planting a kiss on the top of your head as he breathed in the scent of your hair. 

"I'm sorry," you pouted, lifting your head from his chest to look at him. "We can go back to bed if you want."

Clark answered you with a kiss, his lips caressing yours gently. It was a quick kiss, but it still managed to take your breath away. 

"What's the occasion?" You asked as you broke away, stealing a strawberry from the pancakes and popping it into your mouth. It wasn't your anniversary or your birthday and it wasn't Valentine's Day, so you wondered what had prompted Clark to make such a gesture to you. 

"I wanted to apologize... I know I haven't been around much and I know it's not easy for you, even though you are too nice to tell me."

"Clark..." You wanted to intervene, but he silenced you by resting his index finger on your lips.

"I need you to know that you're important to me, more important than anything else." Clark slid his hand up to your cheek, his fingers caressing your skin gently. He gave you a warm smile, losing himself for a moment in the bright light of your eyes. "Do you remember what I told you the day I asked you to marry me? I said with these powers I could see the beauty of the universe, the flowers blooming on the other side of the planet or dying stars exploding in brilliant light thousands of miles away, and yet, the day I meet you I knew I had to be with you because for the first time in my life the only thing in the universe worth looking at was right there in front of me. That is still true. It will always be true, angel."

"Damn it, smallville!" You let out a giggle, feeling the tears building up in your eyes as you remembered that day —one of the happiest days of your life. You hated the way he always knew exactly what to say to make you feel better, it made being mad at him really hard.

Clark smiled at you, his blue eyes shining with love in them as he gently wiped away a tear that had escaped and rolled down your cheek. "You're the most important thing in my life and I'm sorry I haven't been showing it these past months. I promise you I'll be better in the future. I'll try harder to make this work, to make us work."

"I know this is hard for you too, baby." You said, letting your hands fall from his shoulders to his chest. You knew Clark wasn't neglecting you on purpose. You knew it hurt him as much as it hurt you to be away or to miss a date you had been planning for a long time. Balancing his normal life and his superhero life had always been one of his biggest challenges. 

"I know you love me and I know you care about me, you don't have to doubt that. I knew things were going to be difficult sometimes the day I said yes. I understand how important being Superman is to you, it is who you are and I love you for that too. I just... miss you sometimes, but I'm sure we're going to find a way to work this out. We always do."

"I swear if I could love you more I would explode." Clark smiled at you before taking your face in his hands again and pressing his lips together. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss, feeling that familiar warmth fill you inside. It was the comforting warmth of love, of the happiness it gave you to be in Clark's arms after so much loneliness.

That was the Clark you missed so much. The loving husband who wrapped his arms around you and kissed you until his lips were tired. The one who showered you with compliments until you were flustered. The one who didn't hesitate to show you how much he loved you with sweet words or cute details. It had been so long since you had the chance to be alone like that, sharing such an intimate moment, that you almost forgot how good it felt when Clark kissed you or how safe you felt when he put his arms around you. It was a beautiful feeling that you could only describe as the touch of true love. You never wanted to forget it, you were willing to do anything not to lose it.

"I love you too." You murmured against Clark's lips, giving him a quick peck before pulling away from him. "Now, about that breakfast..."

Clark let out a chuckle. "Go back to bed, I'll be there in a second."

[wutheringcaterpillar]

"if i say i miss you, i know that you won't.”

Summary: Cillian looks back at all the mistakes he made in his marriage. Writing to a wife that never came home after he realized too late he was the reason she ran away. Will one last letter change everything?

Warnings: Resentment, mentions of divorce, marriage problems, yearning

Tapping his cracked finger tips against the cold wooden table, fit snuggly to the side of the wall of the kitchen just beside the window. Cillian warmed his hands, cusping them around the simmering cup of honey tea while he scanned the same script for the ninth time. The words and acts blurring together in a silhouette of scattered thoughts.

He tried to focus to the best of his ability but the autumn sun peered in through the sheer blinds, pulling his depressed, tired eyes away from the scripture. It was at that point in the season the leaves started to fall in their poetic state, scattering across the front lawn and dwindling over the cracked sidewalks.

"Hm.." He hummed to himself whimsically as he watched a young couple walking happily hand in hand together down the street, involuntarily caressing the golden band that fit snug to his finger for the past fifteen years.

It felt like just yesterday his wife was wrapped in his arms, stealing the warmth of his body, her hair flowing freely over his shoulder while their legs were intertwined between the cotton sheets. Her head tucked between his head and collarbone while her plush, delicate lips pressed against the veins of his neck.

She had the giggle that would make any sorrowful man smile gleefully, so infectious, so pure. He missed it immensely.

It had been nearly a year since he saw the woman that took his last name. Marriages were a funny thing, the divorce statistic rising increasingly fast with each passing day. He never dreamed that he would become a part of such a number, not ever.

Her scarves still lay on the hooks behind the door, her remnants of clothes and shoes still decorating the once shared flat, only reminding Cillian that he was living with a ghost of a person who was still living, just not with him anymore.

The media pressed on the topic repeatedly in nearly every interview he did, questioning what was really going in his marriage. Being the private, family man he was, he dismissed these questions immediately, only wanting to stick to questions regarding the projects he was currently working on.

They slowly began to fade away, much like his wife as time passed. Speculations ever so often here and there when he was spotted out walking Scout by himself, never having taken the wedding ring off.

Papers were never signed, but in a way the void in the house crept into his gut, often causing him to just sit in the car, staring at the fortress that was supposed to be his safe haven. The house no longer feeling like home as much as it was a reminder of how his lifestyle slowly pushed her away.

No one talked about how celebrities still had their battles and money was just but an object. Cillian would have thrown it all away for her if he knew it would end with his wife disappearing and never coming home, leaving him a simple letter of her decision to leave.

Gulping, he wiped at his dreary eyes as tears were bearing down against the waterline of his baby blue eyes, desperately seeking an escape from the bottled up emotions Cillian avoided for so needlessly long.

She was a writer, a damn great one in his eyes but their schedules never aligned and the first book signing she had he couldn't push back a date for an interview. He hadn't asked her how it went, merely promising he'd make it up, yet he never found the time to do so.

Their love life diminished at a rapid pace, the date nights not so frequent, while every conversation lead to arguments, inevitably leading to mental exhaustion and her needing space away, time to think.

Their careers didn't align, and neither were willing to put their lives on hold for one another. She had missed out on so many oppurtunities to publish anymore, even passing on a job to be a writer for the times. She hoped this would fix the problems in their relationship, not realizing until far too late how many phases of her aspirations she passed on because of him. She refused any longer to sit around and wait for Cillian to find the time for their marriage, for her. He honored and respected her for that but the days soon turned into weeks, leading to months, leading to Cillian living how he was now.

The picture frames stared back at him every day, making him feel like a fool for not making time for her, for never fighting harder for their marriage and disregarding her hopes and dreams. The flashbacks of all the intimate moments warmed his heart, the arguments and feuds eating at his bones like acid did to a surface.

Stumbling into his office, he opened the left hand drawer, pulling out a pen and paper, sitting down like he did every week before he began to write, hands trembling each time as he held the pen.

" My love,

I write this with letter to you with good graces in hopes of you coming home.

I understand I've poisoned our love, I was so careless with your kindness, your strength, and your selfless love.

To you I'm just a man, but to me you're all I am. I once said I could never imagine my life without you in it and that holds true to this day. I realize our marriage wasn't perfect, no marriage is. However, I refuse for us to be some statistic we always said we would beat.

I find myself losing who I am every day you are away. I'm still trying to convince myself you are coming home, though I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, if you resented me even after how long it's been. Still can hear the creaks of us dancing on the patio, can still see your subtle eyes gleaming in the orange of the sunlight.

I understand the pain and hurt I've done to not only us but to you. I don't know if you read these letters but I won't be a bother any longer..

I just need to say, I still wear this ring every day and our love will never come off of this finger. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you and not a day will go by where I am not madly still in love with you. I need you, I need us.

I just wish for a chance to prove to you, my love, that I can be, I will be a better husband to you than what I was in the past.

Regardless I wish all the best to you.

Kindest Regards,

Cillian"

Licking the slit of the envelope, Cillian debated on whether or not this would work, but he refused to give up hope that one day she would return.

Clasping the mailbox shut, he noticed the paps walking toward him and scuttled back inside.

The weeks passed agonizingly slow after he mailed the letter.

The fifth night of the third week Cillian was sat in the recliner, lamp glowing over the table at the same script making notes of what could be changed or what expressions and mannerisms he should expose in the scene when a glare of light flashed through the window.

He hadn't thought much of it and tried to ignore that skip of his heart and the empty hope that it could be his wife until the sound of a car door closing echoed outside the house.

Like a young boy in love, nervous for his first date he hurriedly ran to the window in a rush of anxious optimism, pulling the curtain open hastily. All hope diminishing from his body, heart breaking when he noticed it was just the new neighbor's car pulling into their driveway.

Something told him she was never coming home.

The following night his assistant was doing the final fit for his red carpet premiere for "Small Things Like These", brushing at Cillian's hair until she gave him the thumbs up that he was ready to go.

Before exiting the room she tugged at his arm gently, eyes beading with sincerity and utter care and concern when she asked,

"She still hasn't come home has she?" What was he supposed to do, lie? Clearly nothing has changed in his life, nor did he even mention you anymore. Still trying to navigate through life without you by his side. With a simple sigh, he scratched at his forehead, unable to find the words, nor want to have to admit aloud that he didn't know where his wife was or if she'd ever be coming back.

With a simple look of hopeless confusion, Cillian rested his eyes sighing and changing the subject respectfully, mentioning how she should grab one of his jackets since the weather was supposed to decline into a chilly wind later on in the night. Holding the door open for her to follow him out to the car, she dropped the subject, merely nodding at his comment and mumbling a sincere thank you.

He smiled for the cameras upon arriving, playing the role of a successful actor and not allowing the prying voices to get a reaction out of him when they made comments about her, his one love.

She never wrote back. He still held onto her belongings unable to bare with separating from them. Never daring to take the ring off of his finger even if she didn't wear hers anymore.

[vampykween]

hi mic :D

i just read your toxic!husband!ghost fics and would like to ask if u could write one where the reader just gives up on their relationship, maybe they finally file for divorce?

loved your writing btw! ♡

hi hi! thank u! i’m so glad y’all are enjoying toxichusband!ghost hehe

i hope i did your idea justice. i have a problem with just letting asks get away from me oops! but kiss ur brain for this idea cause i loved this! i get way too excited writing angsty stuff

you would realize you’ve had enough on the most random of days. after looking after your kids all day and finally getting your house cleaned, laundry all done. simon would come home and not even stop to greet you. he instantly strips from his fatigues and tosses them somewhere on the couch, turns on the tv to watch the game, and kicks up his feet and perches them on the clean coffee table. just the sight of him makes your blood boil. you make a mental note right then to talk to a divorce lawyer cause jesus you couldn’t take anymore of this.

you’ve been agonizing over doing this for the past week. hidden in your nightstand drawer was an envelope that was going to change your life forever, and not just yours, your children’s lives too. that thought has stifled your desire for a divorce just ever so slightly, as much as you can’t take a loveless marriage anymore you know your kids will be hurt by this.

you and simon are lounging in your bed and you’re losing your edge to serve him the papers. you’re worn out from cooking dinner and doing the usual nighttime routine with the kids. you suck in a deep breath and remind yourself that this decision is for the best; you don’t deserve to be chained down by someone who won’t appreciate you.

“simon…”

“yeah?” he doesn’t look up from whatever he’s engrossed in on his phone and you roll your eyes exasperatedly. you’re swiftly reminded why you’re in this position.

“i- um, we need to talk.” god your palms were sweaty and your heart was hammering in your chest. why was this so much harder than you thought it would be. simon still doesn’t give you his attention and you figure you should just rip the bandaid off already.

your shaky hands open the nightstand drawer and fish out the large yellow envelope you’ve been holding onto for the past week. you nudge his shoulder with enough force to get him to look up at you, and shove the envelope in his now free hand.

he quirks an eyebrow at you curiously, “the hell is this?”

you gulp painfully and whisper at him to just open it. his large digits tear open the paper easily and as he’s scanning through the lengthy paper, you can see it clear on his face the moment he realizes what’s happening. he turns his body fully towards yours and you can see the fury in his eyes.

“have you lost your fuckin’ head. why on earth would ya want a divorce?” the bass in your husband’s voice rattles his words around in your head, simon doesn’t yell often, but god do you hate it when he does.

“simon, i just can’t anymore.” his eyes bulge incredulously at your words, but you ignore his idiotic look and continue. “i’m constantly bending over backwards to do everything for this family and you don’t even appreciate it. hell it doesn’t feel like you love me at all.”

“fuckin’ hell. you think you’re the only one putting in work for this family. what do you think i’m doing all day? and when i’m deployed? ya think i’m just fuckin’ around for fun?”

“oh my- are you serious?! of course i know that you work hard to provide for this family. did you even listen to a word i just said? i have to nag you to clean, to do laundry, to stop giving the kids all the things i tell them they can’t have. i have to literally beg you to kiss me and take me on dates! you never tell me you love me anymore simon!”

the rage behind simon’s eyes dims and he grasps both your hands in his. “love. baby, please you can’t leave me. you’re right, you do so much for us all and i know im shit about saying thank you, but who’s going to do all the stuff ya do if you leave?”

your face starts to grow hot as you begin to boil over with anger. you rip your hands from his hold forcibly. “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me! you can’t even convince me to stay because you love me. you want me here so i can do everything for you. you know what? fuck you! i’m so sorry your poor mommy is gone and you need someone to fill that void, and i was stupid enough to play that role for this long, but i’m not doing it anymore.”

“oh you’re a fuckin’ cunt for that. bringing up my mum, you’re fucked in the head!” simon barks at you. you should feel bad, it was a low blow, but you couldn’t care less.

you scramble out of the bed, storming around the room looking for a pen. you’re throwing open drawers with so much force they’re just a hair from ripping straight out. when you eventually find one, you thrust it into simon’s large hand.

“don’t fucking care. you’re an absolute piece of shit. sign the fucking papers, please, so i no longer have to hold back the urge to kill you with my bare hands.”

“what about the kids? you’re just gonna take them away from me?! if you do, i’ll spend every day trying to remind them they’ve got a right bitch for a mum,” simon sneers at you.

all the love you had for simon has vanished, but hearing him say he’d spend eternity making sure your kids hated you? that tore your heart in two. your throat begins to constrict as tears begin to build behind your eyes. you really didn’t want to cry in front of him, but you were suddenly hit with the realization that the life you dreamed of was never going to be real.

you think back to your wedding day, your husband had written the most beautiful vows, which shocked you as you hadn’t expected him to be able to express his love for you that way. he had promised to always make you feel like you deserved the world. suddenly you woke up one day and the man you once loved was gone, replaced by a shitty, co-dependent, workaholic who sucked out all the life in you.

in this moment, you simply prayed that one day, you wouldn’t feel like every choice you made lead to this terrible life you have now.

[writingbyshiloh]

I Love as Madly as I Hate

CW: JW universe (blood, reader kills and gets stabbed), ANGST!, Reader wears a dress, verbal fighting, dead marrage, Vincent being a dick and no beta (and Grammarly gave up halfway through), One sentence in French which means “leave us alone”, implied smut

AN: I hope this is angst, I don't really read angst myself. I overthought the tense this is in so much that words don't make sense anymore. FUN FACT! The title is from Les Fleurs du Mal which I want to have made an appearance in the other Marquis fic but I thought the title was fitting.

The bounty amount is in the sweet spot. High enough that it’s worth the effort, but not too high that half the world would also be trying to bag them with you. The only problem was with who set the bounty. That would be your ex, of six months. Well technically he's still considered your husband, and you were still legally married.  

That was your fault, bringing up the idea of a divorce, and waiting for him to sign. Wanting to get one last dig in while still married, you act surprised, reminding him he can’t get a second marriage, second changes are for men who failed the first time, remember? He took the papers from your hand, never for you to see again. Sometimes you think he burned them. 

The hit was for a mob member - Lukas Matthews, young and new to the underworld, not sure how things worked. He stole from one of his bosses, an acquaintance of Vincent. The younger mob man was distracted by all things flashy, expensive, and pretty. 

You didn’t have any trouble donning a sparkly dress, paying admittance to some dive club to stalk the man. As long as you push down the feeling that you were really just doing this to get a glimpse of Vincent, it was okay. Great even. Maybe if you were a normal person you could just call him. 

You watch the target for a while, sipping on soda from the bar so you could blend in. The man was still with his friends, and you figured it would be easier to take him when he was alone, probably outside, away from the other members of his group or innocent partygoers. 

—. 

Lukas ultimately lost, but he fought nasty. Maybe you were still rusty. The rest of your night now consisted of trying to patch up yourself or trying to find a black market doctor to fix you, depending on how bad your shoulder gets.

You were littered with scrapes, small cuts and sore muscles, but your shoulder got the worst of the battle. Lukas managed to cut quite deep with a broken beer bottle. Once it heals it will be a reminder of all the things you do to try and convince yourself that you’re over your husband. 

Pain flared every time you moved your shoulder, the wound being an inch or two below your collarbone left you trying to keep half your body still. You settle on taking Lukas’s hand, with the mob tattoo. You and Vincent know members of that mob would rather die than cut off their symbol. 

With the body shoved against a trash can, you place a few garbage bags to cover the mess. The hardest part of the evening was still to come. With your good hand, you fish out your phone from your bag. 

—

You assume he is attending some ballet dance or performance. You felt a bitter twist of jealousy. Was he there with someone? Has he moved on that fast? You think mind racing. When you texted the Accountants that you completed the bounty, you received a call from Chidi. 

“I hear you collected the bounty. Do you have proof of death?” he questioned. 

“I do. I have the hand with the tattoos, but the body’s here I can get something else” you rambled down the line, suddenly much more nervous than before. 

“Please hold.” 

The line was quiet, you watched people come and go from the club, secluded from the side street you were in. Backtracking into the club, hand in your bag you returned your coat check ticket. At least the jacket will cover up the bleeding, you can get the bounty and go home. 

“Hello?” Chidis's voice returned. 

“Yeah, I'm here.” 

“Tell me your address, the Marquis de Gramont will be sending a car.” 

—

The Marquis de Gramont looked amazing. He tried to always look his best in his suits, complete with an incredibly complicated knot, chains, and his signature pin. You still have your pin, hidden in a shoe box in your closet. Tonight was no exception to his looks. 

His suit was reflecting the lights in his mansion. You knew from the glitter, this was a suit he would were at a cultural outing. Bitter jealousy bites at your insides. Was he there with someone? Did he move on that fast? Is it a mistress? You think. The jealousy dies when you still see his wedding ring on his left hand. Your wedding ring feels heavier on your right. 

You both look at each other, his gaze lingering on your exposed legs, no doubt covered in blood. You felt exposed standing in the center of the large room. 

Vincent was the one to break the silence first “Did I buy you that dress?”

“No. I’ve had it for a while” 

He nods, stepping closer. 

“Proof?” 

You frown thinking he was asking about the dress, before remembering the severed hand. 

“It's here. Tattoos and all.” you struggle to get the appendage out of your bag without moving your bad shoulder. At least you had the sense to wrap the hand in a plastic bag. 

“Come to my office. We can talk in there” 

You do not want to “talk in his office”. The last time, you went to “talk in his office” about a bounty it ended up with you naked on his desk, the cold chain from his suit vest and his ring pressed against you. 

“I should go. You can just wire me the money or something” You reject. 

You can tell you surprised him before his face shifts back to a more neutral expression. 

“I have a nasty scratch so…” you trail off, hoping he leaves the issue. 

His gaze almost softens. The separation was less than a year ago, you guess that he still cares for you. He still keeps tabs on you, your neighbour works for him you’re almost certain of it. 

“Where?”

You gesture with your chin to your shoulder. 

The pressure from his stare makes you break down and shrug off your jacket, the inside sticky with blood. 

Already he is in front of you, pressing a cloth against your wound. 

“You need to see the doctor, mon amour.” 

You hate yourself for leaning into his touch, but at least he has good contacts for an underground doctor. It won’t be that hard to get in and out right?

—

The doctor arrived fast, not wanting to piss off the Marquis. You knew him from your early days of dating, long before your marriage, when Vincent insisted you quit. You wonder if the doctor remembers you. If he does, he doesn’t show it. 

You just didn’t think Vincent was going to join you. He watches the doctor tend to your shoulder first, sewing neat rows of stitches to hold your flesh in place. You stare at your jacket on a spare chair, no doubt forever stained in blood. The good doctor already gave a warning about closing your eyes, so you keep your gaze on the jacket, your nails on your good hand leaving imprints on the chair arm from the tension between you and Vincent. 

The doctor moves on to more minor wounds, mostly cleaning them, and patching them up if needed. Ignoring your soft hiss when the cleaner he is using hurts more than you expected.

Vincent is watching the doctor, scowling when you flinch in pain. 

The instant the doctor pushed the tray with his tools and bloody tissues away, Vincent speaks for the first time since the three of you sat down.

“Laissez-nous seuls” 

The doctor protests, wanting to give you instructions on caring for his work, making sure you don’t rip anything open. 

Vincent glares at the doctor, who places down some gause for you to take home and leaves without another word, closing the door behind him. 

The Marquis drops to his knees for a better look at your injury. One hand cups the back of your shoulder blade to keep you still, as he inspects you. You’re sure you smell disgusting, the smell of the bar soaked into your dress and your hair. The doctor cleaned up most of the blood, but Vincent never really cared about literally getting his hands bloody if the time was right. He would just wipe them on a cloth and toss it aside for one of his housekeepers to pick up. 

You turn your whole face away, as much as your shoulder will let you, sure he can feel how hot your face is across the distance. The feel of his eyes is heavy, and almost magnetic, pulling you to look at him. His other hand is on the armrest of your chair. 

“Don’t,” you said softly, trying to preserve any of the dignity that you had left. 

“Don’t what, mon amour” he whispered, still looking at your shoulder. 

“This.” You were mostly saying this to yourself, knowing that you only had seconds to get out of his personal space before you give in. You’re tired and hurt and he's right there, acting how he did when you first fell in love with him. 

You tilt your head back almost automatically to give him more access to your throat. He moved slowly, pressing kisses against your jaw like it would be the last time, before working his way to your mouth and kissing you properly. 

—

It’s like a bomb waiting to go off, not only having sex with him but also having to navigate yourself out of his bed without one of you making a gripe at the other. 

Well, not technically his bed. This was yours, in a guest room you made your own while being married, now empty. You moved your stuff out during the separation. Sometimes you regret not taking the bedclothes with you, but now you’re thankful you can feel them, cool and soft against your skin. 

You had no choice but to stay lying on your back, trying to keep your injury still. He was next to you in the same fashion. 

“You are still wearing your ring.” He speaks quietly. As if to prove his point, he toys with your wedding band. 

“I helped design it, of course, I’m going to show it off,” you reply not being able to look him in the eye. 

He kissed the back of your hand.  

“I believe I designed it, you just suggested the stones.” 

Hand flexed to fully show off the stones, you had to agree. 

The stones were suggested by you, on a date to le Musée de Minéralogie. It was just the two of you, and you had been taken with the rubies. Vincent walked alongside you, filling you in on information you might not have known. It was an off-handed comment from you, how red is a colour for both blood and love, very fitting in your line of work. 

“You have good taste,” he says while you think had instead. 

His hand skimmed your bare side, nimble fingers finding a small bump that was not there before your flight with Lukas. 

You flinched at the dull pain, not surprised if he “accidentally” poked it. 

“You should let me take care of you, mon amour.” 

That was it. The same words that started and ended your marriage. Being taken care of by Vincent made you feel like a doll, sitting on a shelf, never allowed to do anything. 

“Vincent,” You spoke with caution, the pain slowly seeping back into your body.

He held your chin gently, commanding your gaze to look at him. You softened looking at him. 

“It is true. Do you think I like seeing you like this?” he asks. 

“I don’t know what you like” you retort, steeling yourself for the argument to come. 

“I like you.” 

“Oh, you do? Is that why you made me quit bounty work?” you snap. 

“I asked you to stop because you're not very good at it and I did not want a dead fiancé.” 

Ouch. 

“If you were a better fighter, you would take higher bounties.” 

You don’t look at him as you leave the bed. You know he's sneering at you. 

But you’re not going to shrink away even though you’re naked. You know you have to get dressed in front of him but you can put on a brave face.

 “Thanks for this lovely reminder of why our marriage failed.” You spit out. You know the failed comment will piss him off. 

You leave without a second look, cheap shoes squeaking against the floor. 

—

You felt the lock slide open under the key, your apartment slightly cold and quiet. You still smelled like his cologne, only now the smell reminds you of the recent bitter memories. You discard your bag as you make your way to your bed in your apartment. Away from Vincent. 

As you take off your dress for the second time you feel your phone buzz. 

[Unknown number: Wire Transfer Sent. Deposit for Lukas is confirmed.]

Seeing him mixed with the rush of adrenaline after the fighting was too much, especially with the separation so fresh. Maybe he was right. Maybe you should go after higher bounties, especially not those set by him. 

Taglist: @heartrot666, @soraya-daydreams

[humblequestvinyl]

just married

JUST MARRIED, EDDIE DIAZ X FEM!READER

APART OF THE 'ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT' SERIES

SUMMARY: after leaving LA, y/n flies to nashville, reflecting on her marriage with eddie, staring at the pictures of the two on their wedding day, wondering how they went from love, to just married.

inspired by just married by kelsea ballerini

previous chapter, | next chapter,

lowercase intentional! wc: 1.07k

warning: mentions of sex (no smut), divorce, swearing, marriage problems, brief alcohol mention.

a/n: THIS IS SO SHORT I AM SO SORRY BUUUT! i am so excited about this series, and im SO SO SO excited to write the next chapter !!! 

“SO YOU AND EDDIE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE BECAUSE HE WAS COMING HOME LATE?”

“i’m sure that there was a good reason for the fact that he was coming home late. there has to be.”buck tried to reason with the girl, and she shook her head slightly as she fixed the glasses that were on top of her head, “you two could’ve worked that out!”

“it was more than that buck.”she whispered, trying everything she could not to cry, “there was more than just that buck, we haven’t been on the same page for years.”

“y/n, you and eddie are the only thing that makes sense in my life. if the two of you break up, nothing in this world makes sense.”buck stressed, and y/n stood in front of him, with her hands shaking.

“buck the only reason i’m in LA is to sign the divorce papers. our marriage started to fall apart years ago.”she tried to tell him, but buck couldn’t accept it, “it started 10 months after we got married.”

—

(ONE MONTH BEFORE.)

“I WROTE A NEW SONG.”

y/n announced as she sat down with her producer brynn, who gave the girl a look as the h/c girl sat on the floor of the studio,  “i was looking at the old wedding pictures i had up in the apartment last night and started writing.”

“what’s the lyrics?”brynn questioned, before y/n pulled out her phone, and opened up her notes app, grabbing the lyrics.

“i don’t think i lied when i said i wanted that life.”she started, tapping her fingers against the ground, with her wedding band still in plain view, “maybe i was too young to understand what i wanted at all.”

“but baby it was true, with all that i knew, it felt like forever that december two.”she went on, not daring to glance up, knowing her bloodshot eyes would give away everything, “a fairytale start, with us crossing our hearts, we rode off in a car that said “just married.””

she stopped herself after the first verse, before clearing her throat and pushing her beanie down on her head more, “the rest of the lyrics are a bit rough and have to be cleaned up if we’re able to do that today.”

“yeah of course.”brynn nodded, before grabbing out a notebook and a pen, helping the girl fix up the lyrics, before they had quickly moved onto creating a sound, one that reminded the h/c girl of a wedding song.

“i don’t know what i’m supposed to do with my wedding dress now.”y/n’s voice rasped as they took a little break, and brynn looked at the girl with such sadness in her eyes, knowing exactly what the girl was going through.

“if you do anything with this song, either releasing it as a single or even have a music video for it, wear your dress in it.”brynn suggested, and the singer shrugged, picking at the rug of the studio floor, “it’s a gorgeous dress, and you can create better memories with it.”

“i feel bad about wanting out knowing chris is going to get caught in the middle of all of this.”she whispered, feeling tears threatening to spill as she thought about the boy who she adored, “i just couldn’t stay there any longer. i couldn’t continue killing myself over a marriage that was one-sided.”

“and you shouldn’t have to.”brynn reassured the girl, grabbing her hand and giving it a comforting squeeze, “in this instance, you have to put yourself first, and if leaving is the solution, then so be it.”

“chris will forgive you.”brynn told her, causing y/n to look up at her, “i’ve met the kid. he will forgive you.”

after a bit, y/n got up wordlessly and walked into the studio with the notebook, giving it one shot to sing the entire song without crying, which is something she hadn’t been able to do yet. once she got through the first part of the song, she looked up at brynn who gave her a reassuring smile.

“long distance text, make-up-for-time sex, tired of asking when i’ll see you next.”she sang, with flashes of memories from when she would constantly text eddie, asking when she would be able to see him next, the endless booked flights that he constantly missed to go and see her, “i’m too mad to fight, so i’ll stare and cry at the picture of you, and me wearing white.”

“just married.”

“but i wasn’t made for fixing a plate, and keeping our problems buried.”she went on, feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces, just like a plate would after it had been dropped onto the ground, “no i wasn’t strong enough to hold on, with all of the weight i carried.”

“yeah it was love, then it was just married.”

flashes of her wedding went through her mind, with the vivid taste of veuve they had drank as their celebratory drink on her taste buds. their vows ringing through her mind, always promising to stick by each other throughout everything.

everything little memory of the past five years tainted from her soon to be ex husband, and every little thing they had done together.

“but dammit i wish i wasn’t this ready, to undo i do.”she paused, swallowing hard, knowing she had one more verse left before she was finished with the song, “but i wasn’t made for fixing a plate, and getting divorced sounds scary.”

“but i’m just not strong enough to hold on, with all of the weight that i carried.”she admitted, playing with the strings of her hoodie, knowing she was at the finish line, “yeah it was love, it really was.”

“then it was just married.”

[dawnsleif]

zhongli’s melancholic gaze falls onto the envelope he is carefully holding. it’s just paper, but why does it feel so heavy? he doesn’t dare to tear it apart roughly, it is a piece of his broken heart after all. he wonders whether you two would have had a different ending, a somewhat happier outcome, if he had been different, if his fear of losing hadn’t turned him into an obsessive partner. living such a long life comes with loss, and harsh lessons teach him to let go. long-lasting life, eternal scars. he just never expected you to become one.

“are you happy now?”, his fingertips trace the letters that form your name, delicately engraved on his invitation — it’s a silent apology, and grief, all the love left in your shared past, all the tenderness with nowhere to go. he hopes that pair of pretty eyes he loves so much have stopped crying. a wry smile sets on his lips, and he scoffs at his ridiculous thoughts. of course she is fine, why would she get married otherwise?

“am i happy now?”, you hesitate, unsure of how to face your own questioning and accusatory stare in the mirror. running away is not the solution to your problems, but you also know it would have hurt even more if you had stayed. the invitation you asked paimon to deliver is nothing but a pathetic excuse of a truce, a silent cry in the void. both of you still love each other as much as you know you cannot be together again; no apology can make up for all this damage.

when the time comes, you walk towards the venue, radiating confidence and beauty, followed by the looks of many who know how unattainable you are. you have only agreed to this marriage for the sake of your clan — your return to inazuma posed a threat to the heiress, thus the elders decided you had to marry into another clan. brushing these thoughts away, you offer a polite smile to the spectators of this pantomime, before graciously turning to face your groom, a man whose gentleness have reminded you of ‘him’ on the early stages of your relationship. 

“lucky man. will she love him as much as she loved me?”, zhongli walks away after the union is sealed with a kiss; seeing you in someone else’s embrace feels bittersweet. he does not dare to stay, nor to congratulate you in person. this facade he has been putting up would go down if your eyes were to meet his. cheers are erupting behind him, he knows it’s time to say farewell, to let go of memories and wish you happiness from the bottom of his torn heart.

a familiar blur of brown and gold is caught in the corner of your eyes; you watch how your past lover leaves the crowd, and secretly wish you had refrained from sending that invitation. kamisato ayato follows his newlywed wife’s gaze. his heart sinks, but he hopes that someday you will look at him the same way you have looked at that guest from liyue. at least, he has a real forever with you.

“silly man. will i ever learn to love him?”, you see the adoration in ayato’s eyes, and almost feel sorry for not loving him. you have endless time to spend by each other’s side, yet you still can’t bring yourself to sugarcoat your vows and promises. you think you might end up growing fond of him, but you know he is not zhongli, not the one you wanted to spend eternity with.

“congratulations”, a short message draws treacherous tears from both the sender and the recipient — they know, it’s the ending of their story. 

[awkwardchaosposts]

Dilf Chishiya

(Part 1)

Please note: this is not proofread and has a long introduction. All of this is fiction and does not reflect actual people or places

Trigger warning: mentions of absent mother and arranged marriage

/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

Shuntaro has always been picture perfect and ensured he was successful enough to deserve Chishiya as his last name. He had a stable job,he was well educated and mannered,he married young. He hadn't even met her before their engagement party.

They weren't rude to each other. Just ...disconnected and indifferent. His now ex wife felt caged in by their arranged marriage and expectations from their families. Thus she abruptly left him and their daughter when Etsuko was only four months old. He was angry at first but in some way he understood his ex wife's pain she must've felt

"You can't have tomato sauce for breakfast" He said firmly to which his daughter protested.

"Nuh uh"

"We are not having this discussion. You can either have cereal or pb and j. Take your pick"

"I want a tomato sauce sandwich!"

Despite his stern parenting style he had a soft spot. Besides it was already 7am and he had work soon. This wasn't a hill he was ready to die on "Fine but eat your fruit first"

~~~~~~

"What you looking at?" the sound of a fellow coworker made him look up from the pamphlets. His thirty minute lunch break was the only time he really got to look over these things.

"Schools"

"So soon? isn't she like 5?"

"She's six" He corrected Kevin and hummed in response when the rookie spoke about how "They grow up so fast" He knew that already. He doesn't need a reminder

"So..." Kevin awkwardly stood there and tried to revive this deadbeat conversation "Where were you thinking of sending her? I heard Ducky's Primary is such a sweet school"

He held back a scoff. Ducky's Primary? No,no. Chishiya wouldn't send his daughter to a mediocre school. She deserves the best education so she can succeed.

"I was thinking more of something like Sakura Primary"

He didn't like how Kevin laughed at his mention of the school. Chishiya despite being a single parent earned a stable income due to being a surgeon. So why the hell was this guy laughing?

"What's so funny?"

"Nah man I'm not laughing at you I just- Sakura Primary? I mean...that place is super hard to get into. I don't think they even allow single parents" it's unfortunate but a child with only one parent was still seen as a taboo where they lived.

The problem was he'd never even thought a that.

"You ok man?" Kevin leaned in "You look a little tense"

"I'm fine"

Well that was just a lie

~~~~~~

"You know you can always lie"

"And you don't think they'll get suspicious when my supposed 'wife' never shows up for the interview or school events?"

"Touché." Kuina acknowledged. Shuntaro had a big problem. She knew how badly he wanted Etsuko to get a good education "And you're absolutely sure that Akira wouldn't agree to attend?"

"She hasn't been here for almost over six years. I don't even know where she is right now"

"I don't know. Hire an actor" she jokingly suggested

"Yeah cause that's normal"

~~~~~~~~~

"Did you have fun today?" he asked while washing his daughter's hair for her. Her eyes were squeezed shut despite it being a no tears shampoo for small kids.

"Mhm! we made paper masway hats" the kindergardener talked about her day with such enthusiasm,he couldn't help but but smile in return

"Paper masway? You mean paper mache?"

"No it's paper masway!"

With a chuckle he shook his head but kept his opinions to himself "Alright,alright. Paper masway"

He rinsed out the shampoo twice just to be sure before helping her out of the tub "Time for bed"

"I want Green eggs and ham"

He was about to tell her no since he had work that he needed to get to but the man stopped himself. "Hmm fine but then it's lights out after that"

Chishiya's aware he can't be the perfect parent. No one can. They were only human. But he always swore to himself that he'd be better than his parents were. He'd make sure she'd never have to cry about missed recitals or feel ignored. He'd ensure she knows she's loved and cared for. Always

That night he stayed up late with paper work when " Hire an actor" Kuina's light-hearted words replayed in his head.

Maybe he was desperate or tired but the suggestion didn't sound as crazy right now.

He searched for over an hour when he finally found something 'Findyourfamily.tom'

The more he looked into this the more skeptical he was what kind of website it was. Would he really stoop so low as to hire him a wife for the day. How was he going to explain that to Etsuko?

~~~~~

Being an actor hired to be people's wife, sister,mother,etc wasn't exactly your dream job but it pays well and sometimes it's kind of fun. You always get creeps with this kind of job though.

With an exhausted sigh you plopped down in bed while scrolling through your emails. Business was drying up recently so seeing a message from a new customer was a nice surprise. It was from this guy going by the email ChishiyaShuntaroCo with the subject heading reading 'I need your help'

/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

[briamichellewrites]

51

Jason was thrown into therapy by Muto. He and his mother wanted to know what was going on inside his head. If it was mental illness, they would learn how to help him. He was initially hesitant about talking to a stranger. Muto gave him an ultimatum. If he wanted to continue living with him and his mother, he would have to accept help. His financial situation was tight and he couldn’t afford to live by himself. He would have to pay legal fees with the divorce.

Bria already filed. The court was requesting he respond to the request. When he was served papers, they went through them together. He was not contesting anything. Did he want alimony or spousal support? No. He didn’t want any money from her. Once they filled out the paperwork, he sent it back with a check. Mike got in contact with him to see how he was doing.

He was having regrets. Mike reminded him that he made his bed. Now, he had to deal with the consequences. He would never be truly happy or satisfied if he continually made the wrong decisions. What about Bria? She would pick herself up and continue her life. It might be with Brad, or it might be with someone else. Whoever she chose, he would treat her like the woman she was. He would have to watch her be happy. His tone was stern, as he scolded his little brother.

“What about you and Dave?”

“Dave pushed me into working on myself and my sobriety. He told me that I needed to learn how to love myself first. The reason why I’m being so hard on you is because I know that my little brother is in there somewhere and hopefully, he’s still listening to me.”

When he returned home, Bria was asleep on the couch. Micha and Henry were keeping watch over her. He found it odd since it was one o’clock in the afternoon and she wasn’t known for taking naps. The only time he ever saw her nap was when she returned home from the hospital. Brad came out and over to him. He wanted to talk to him, so they went into the studio. Alarms were going off in his head. Why else would he pull him aside to talk privately?

“I’m sorry for scaring you. I brought you in here, so we don’t wake Bria up.”

“Is she okay?”

“Relatively speaking? Yes. She didn’t sleep well the night before. What did your brother say?”

“He’s having a pity party for himself. Our father has him going to therapy sessions. I’m not putting up with it. He made his bed and now, he has to sleep in it.”

“Is this normal behaviour for him?”

“No, not at all. He’s usually very levelheaded. His problem is flip-flopping. He has ideas in his head that he thinks he wants and he acts on them impulsively. Like getting married to Bria. That came from a very short sexual relationship they had. He all of a sudden decided he wanted to marry her. Then, he decided he wanted an open marriage. We want him to be truly happy.”

Did he have problems with addiction? He thought they mentioned something like that. Yes, he had a drug and alcohol problem. He started using drugs in high school. In college, he started drinking while discovering his sexuality. He went into rehab for his drinking. They had no idea he was using drugs until he broke down in tears. He confessed to Dave that he was a drug addict and needed help.

He brought Bria into his drug use. She had been sober for three years before she went back to using drugs. They never wanted them to get married because they were not ready. They fought against them. He had a feeling that she went along with what he wanted. Brad knew about her addiction because she was open about it. She wanted him to keep her accountable. He had a drug and alcohol problem when he was first starting in Hollywood. It wasn’t anything serious. He was just smoking too much weed.

His ex-wife got him help. When he saw what she and Jason were going through, he felt compassion for them. It was probably misguided, but he knew what it was like to go through a divorce. When he met Bria, he was going through a separation. He saw something special with her. Mike agreed. He had the honour of watching her grow up. She was a one-of-a-kind woman.

They heard knocking on the door. She apologised for interrupting.

“It’s not a problem. We’re just hanging out in here because we didn’t want to wake you up. How are you doing”, Brad asked.

“I’m decaffeinated. Other than that, a lot better.”

“What happened? You couldn’t sleep last night”, Mike asked.

“Yeah. It was just one of those nights where my brain couldn’t shut off. Dave told me where he was going, but I totally forgot.”

“That’s okay. I’ll see where he is. Are you hungry?”

She was, so they had her get dressed to get something to eat. As she did that, he texted Dave to see where he was. He reminded him he was at the gym with Chester.

Yeah, you told me that earlier. I forgot. Brad and I are taking Bria out for dinner because she hasn’t eaten yet. Do you want me to bring you back something? I don’t know where we’re going yet, but I bet I can find something you’ll like. – Mike

Yeah, I’ll eat whatever you bring home for lunch tomorrow. I’ll figure something out for tonight. Maybe I’ll get takeout. I’ll let you know what I decide. – Dave

The restaurant was fairly busy. They got a table inside. Brad loved the restaurant because of their no pictures policy. It was a wonderful break from the paparazzi. They ordered their drinks before looking at the menu. Brad happened to notice how beautiful she looked in the lights. How did he end up falling in love with a woman like her? She was one of the rare women who didn’t care about his fame. He could be vulnerable with her and she wouldn’t judge him.

He didn’t feel pushed off to the side with her. There were endless reasons why he was in love with her. He was going to introduce her to his family. He knew his parents were going to judge her for her young age and for being divorced. What they thought didn’t matter to him because he would stand up for her. They wouldn’t see what he saw.

Would they get married? Maybe. He wouldn’t rule it out. It just had to be the right time. At the moment, he was happy with where their relationship was. Maybe they could plan a vacation for just the two of them. His thoughts got away from him, as he responded to her tapping his arm. The waitress was waiting to take his food order. He laughed embarrassed before telling her what he wanted. Mike remembered when she had done that to him. It was a way of redirecting attention without being obvious.

“My mother used to do that with my father. He had a one-track mind sometimes and he would be so hyper-focused. She had to tap his arm to get his attention whenever they were with a group of people”, she said.

“It’s great because it’s subtle and doesn’t embarrass anyone”, Mike said.

“Did your father have ADHD”, Brad asked.

“He had late onset bipolar disorder. I believe he was screened for ADHD, but he was found not to have it. If I’m remembering correctly. His bipolar diagnosis was why I was evaluated for it. It took a few years before I was diagnosed.”

Ever since they died, she had a hard time talking about them. It was too painful for her. That was why she mentioned her father. Brad would have loved him. They would have had fun hanging out together. Maybe he would hire him for one of his movies. He believed he and Christina were watching their daughter from heaven. They had to be so proud of her because he was. He was proud of the woman she was becoming.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[werewolfbansheelove]

Throwdown (Non School Sets)

A nervous Quinn and Finn are at the OB/GYN to check out the sonograms for their baby. 

Quinn (whispers): I’m freaking out.

Finn: Everything's gonna be fine.

Obstetrician: Relax. At your age, there's very little chance of anything being wrong.

Finn: Awesome.    (He smiles big.) 

Obstetrician: It is gonna be a little cool to the touch.    She put some gel on the camera but before she could put it on her, Quinn stopped her. 

Quinn: Can you just be careful with my uniform?

Obstetrician: All right. Speaking of your ages, have you two given any thought to what you’re gonna do after the baby is born?

Fin: Whatever Quinn wants is fine.

Obstetrician: Well, if it makes a difference, it's a girl. 

The couple were shocked. 

Out of the room, Will was sitting down in the lobby as Finn came out of the room. 

Will: Hmm. Hey.

Finn: Hey.  (Sits down beside him.) The baby's fine. Uh, no mutations or anything. Not even any cool ones. Thanks for taking us today. I was too freaked out to drive. 

Will: Yeah. No problem. Hey. You doing all right?

Finn: Um, no. I mean, how am I supposed to take care of a real person? My mom won’t even let me have fish.

Will: I thought Quinn wanted to give the baby up for adoption.

Finn: For now, but we both know that’s not my call. This sucks. Get all the stress and the worry and none of the control.

Quinn leaves the room. Will and Finn saw her coming out.          Finn: It’s cool, Mr. Schue. You wouldn’t understand.

–––––

At William's apartment, Terri is talking on the phone with her sister, Kendra. 

On Kendra's side, her triplet children were shrieking and jumping up and down on the bed. 

Kendra: I wanted to remind you to tell that Quinn girl not to vaccinate in the hospital. I’m pretty sure those shots made my kids stupid.

Terri: Oh. I guess I could use the vaccination money to buy the organic crib mattress. I mean, what are the chances of the baby getting polio, right?

Will took the phone from Terri's hand and spoke two words.       Will: Bye, Kendra.  He hang up the phone. 

With the phone hang up, Kendra yelled. Kendra: I hate you, Will!

Terri: That was rude! Don’t take the stress of your workday out on me.

Will: I don’t wanna take it out on you, Terri. I just don’t wanna feel as powerless in my own home as I do at school. I have to come home and listen to you making major decisions about our son with your sister. I haven’t even felt the baby kick yet and the only time I’ve ever been to an OB/GYN office was when I took Quinn and Finn for the 10-week ultrasound. 

Terri's attention was on that.  Terri: You did? How's the baby?

Will: Fine. It's a girl. That's not the point.

Terri: Well, what is the point, Will?

Will: My point is that I am the father of that baby. And I’m coming with you to your next doctor's appointment. 

––––––

After a day at work, Will was grading papers and Terri approached him with a beer.

Will:  Oh! Thanks, honey. I wanna finish grading these papers first.

Terri: What, you think the kids weren't drunk when they wrote 'em, hmm?

She then sat on the coffee table.    Terri: Listen, honey. I’ve  been a really crummy wife lately.

Will: Uh, Terri, you’re carrying my baby. I have no right to expect anything more than that from you.

Terri: No, that is my sister's marriage, and I don’t want it. (Then moves to sit beside him.) Anyway, listen. I think that I might be able to help you with your problems at school.

Will: Uh, thanks, Terri, but the last time you helped out at school it didn’t go over very well. (He pokes her nose.) 

Terri was speechless. 

Will: Besides, this is serious. I mean, Sue said she wouldn’t rest until she saw me fired.

Terri: All the more reason. You gotta do whatever it takes, honey. You gotta get down in the gutter if you wanna win this.

–––––

Terri is looking desperately through her drawer and finds her pregnancy pad, just as Will gets home.     Will: Hey, babe, you home?

Terri put it on under her shirt. 

Will: Hey, what’s for dinner?

Terri: Oh! Why don’t you get something from takeout, sweetie.

Will: Hey, listen. I don’t expect you to start cooking but on nights when you’re home first, I think It’s appropriate for you to take care of dinner.

Terri: Wow, you’re so forceful. What’s gotten into you?

Will: You. You were right. I stood up to Sue and now she's begging me for mercy. Oh, I feel great! And I have you to thank for it.

Terri: I have my moments, huh?         Goes to leave. 

Will: You’re gonna have another one this Friday at 4:00. I made an appointment for us with Dr. Woo.

Terri was scared that the truth will come out.     Terri: My obstetrician.

Will (smiles): Yep.

Terri: Oh.    Inside she was terrified. 

Will: I’m finally gonna get a look at my little boy. Hey. Pick whatever you want for dinner. (Kisses her)  Just not Chinese again.

–––––

Kendra and Terri went to go to see Dr. Wu at the OB/GYN. 

Dr. Wu: My job is very stressful. After dentists, obstetricians have the highest rate of suicide among medical professionals. Caring for my bonsai relaxes me.

Terri: I had a huge crush on the Karate Kid when I was a teenager.

Kendra: Can we cut the crap?

Dr. Wu: I guess I’m a little curious as to what you ladies want from me. Neither of you are pregnant.

Kendra: Well, Woo you delivered all three of my kids. Each one is dumber than the last. Plus, they all have A.D.D. And, although my husband nor I have red hair they are all creepy ginger kids.

Dr. Wu: It’s caused by a recessive gene.

Kendra: That’s one theory. Do you wanna hear mine? You gave me too much Pitocin when I was in labor and it screwed up their DNA.

Dr. Wu was so calm.         Dr. Wu: That’s not a theory. You just made that up. Mrs. Schuester, is your sister on some kind of new psychotropic medication?

Terri: Not that I know of.

Kendra: That’s offensive.          She retorted back putting up a act. 

Terri approached her sister.       Terri: Are you all right?

Kendra: Shh. Here’s the deal, Wu. My husband does the taxes for some very powerful mid size law firms in this town. And I’m sure somebody would be more than happy to take on my lawsuit.

Dr. Wu: You’ll never win.

Kendra: I don’t have to win. There’s only two OBs in this town. You get even the slightest stink on you and you can bet that a bunch of your patients will just close on up their legs and walk on over to Dr. Chin.

Dr. Wu: Okay, this is outrageous. What do you want?

––––––

Will and Terri are at the OB/GYN and with some sneaky planning from Terri. 

There was blue sheet over Terri's belly which confused Will. 

Will: Is that necessary? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I mean, I am the one who knocked her up.

Dr. Wu: Just standard operating procedure. You okay, Mr. Schuester? You seem upset.

Will: Just-Just a little stressed. Bad day at work.

Terrri: Will, you’re about to see your child for the first time. Can you forget about those dancing delinquents for one minute?

Will: You’re right. I’m sorry. Oh, my parents are gonna kill me if I don’t come home with a DVD. Got it right here.

Wu showed him a disc.    Wu: Got it right here. Wu squeezed some gel on a bowl. 

Will: Oh, that must be cold.

Wu: Sorry about that.

Terri: It’s really... Yeah, it’s a little cold.

Terri kept an act up and the wand pointing towards her legs. 

The sonagram showed a baby that was a bit small. Will: Wow! That’s him!

Terri cleared her throat.  Wu: Oh, hold on a sec.

Will (concern) What? I-Is something wrong with him?

Wu: Well, not exactly. This is really embarrassing, but it appears as if your boy is a girl.

Terri gasped and Will was shocked.    Wil: Oh, my God. Did something happen to his...

Wu: No, he never had one. He’s a she. Must have misread the first sonogram. Sorry about that.

Will teared up at the sight of his Possible baby. 

Terri: Honey, I, I didn’t know that having a boy was so important to you.

Will (tearfully): It isn’t. I don’t care what she is. She’s all ours. I’m just so happy.

Will leaned down to his wife.         Terri: No matter what happens I want you to remember at this moment that we love each other. Okay? 

During this moment, they sealed it with a kiss.

(I HATE  TERRI!!!!!) 

[smartrelationshiptips]

First Christmas After Divorce: Best 7 Tips For You

This blog post will explore the steps to make your first Christmas after divorce a success and help you avoid feeling alone during this special time of year. The holidays can be an especially difficult time when you’re not with your spouse. At some point in their lives, everyone has had to deal with the painful and time-consuming process of a divorce. It can be especially challenging for children as they often feel as if their entire world is coming apart. Because of this, many adults find themselves separated from their ex-spouse during this time of year, making things very hard on those dealing with the separation.

What is the first thing to do after a divorce?

First Christmas After Divorce

This is a blog post about the first Christmas after divorce. It’s been three years, and I am still feeling sad that my marriage ended, but this year it helped me with family and friends who didn’t know what was going on in my life. We all just had fun together, and not one of us mentioned the word “divorce” once!  Here are 7 ideas for how to make your first Christmas after divorce as painless as possible:

1. Family Matters

I am very close with both of my parents, so it was important to me for this first Christmas after divorce to be spent with them. Not only did I spend the holiday with both sets of grandparents, but we all went out to dinner on New Year’s Eve as well. I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have the kind of relationships I do with my family, but I am thankful that I can choose to be around the people who make me feel good about myself.

2. Escape If Needed

One Christmas after the divorce, my best friend and I escaped to her beach house in South Carolina for four days. She wasn’t ready to surrender the holiday to the sadness that follows a breakup, and I was happy to go along for the ride. We did everything we normally do together: yoga, shopping, cooking, and gossiping. It felt like a mini-vacation from my life.

3. Keep Busy

Unfortunately, there aren’t many fun things going on in Atlanta in the middle of December. But if you live somewhere where holiday markets, ice skating, and concerts are happening all month long, go! I went to a tree lighting ceremony at the CNN center last weekend And was reminded that there is plenty to do during the holidays other than dwelling on what’s missing from your life.

4. Don’t Give In To Guilt

I know it’s hard not to feel sad when your friends are all in relationships, but don’t let yourself feel guilty about being alone during this time. You didn’t do anything wrong, and the only person you owe an explanation to is YOU! I spent my holiday with people who love spending time with me. It was great.

5. Keep A Journal

I have found writing about my feelings to be very therapeutic. I had some great conversations with friends, but it just feels good to have an outlet for my emotions. If you don’t want to share your journal with anyone else, that’s OK too! Putting your thoughts on paper is a great way to get them out of your head and onto something you can hold.

6. Don’t Try To Measure Up

Making new traditions is hard enough, but trying to live up to the ones that were taken from you will cause even greater sadness. Keep doing the things that make YOU happy, and try not to worry about what other people think. Some people might not understand why you aren’t going home with your spouse, but that is their problem, not yours!

7. Create A New Tradition

I haven’t figured out what my new family holiday traditions will be yet, but I can tell you a few things I want to do: make a gingerbread house with the kids, have a white elephant gift exchange, and see The Nutcracker. Embrace new traditions that make you feel good about yourself, and don’t worry about what anyone else will think!

Read Also:

10 Rules for The First Date After Divorce How Long After Mediation Is Divorce Final?

How to Deal With Being Alone on the First Christmas after Divorce

The first thing you need to do is remember that this is not your fault.  There is nothing you have done or failed to do for your spouse to decide to leave, so it’s vital not to blame yourself. If you find yourself asking what you did wrong, remind yourself that it’s not your fault and do your best to put your thoughts aside. While it’s very common for many people going through a divorce to feel depressed and lonely, this is not something that needs to be ignored. Christmas time can make these feelings even more pronounced, and therefore it’s important to be kind to yourself.

Take the time you’d spend thinking about how your ex is spending Christmas without you and do things that make you happy instead. Many people enjoy collecting items for the family at a local shelter, which can help you feel as if you’re making a difference.

In addition, doing good deeds for someone other than what you would typically expect from yourself can be very rewarding and help you feel happier and more in control of your life. If you’re looking for a new career during the holidays, consider online business training programs that can help you earn a living and increase the opportunities for advancement. Another option is to put yourself on an expense account by taking time to focus on your hobbies and interests. When money is tight, it can help you focus on yourself and learn how to be more content with what you have.

Whichever way you choose to spend your first Christmas after divorce, it must bring you some measure of happiness. If not, remember that the holidays are not an obligation but a time for celebrating friendship, family, and love.

How do I get through my first Christmas after divorce?

If you’re spending this time of year feeling sad and alone, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to make plans with friends or family. You may even be surprised by how other people feel about your situation once they learn what’s going on. Often, other people want to help but don’t know how and simply knowing that you’re not alone can help tremendously. When we think of Christmas, we often think about spending time with loved ones and reflecting on the good things in our lives, so allow yourself some time to do this while focusing on what you have rather than what is missing.

If you had children together, it’s very important to keep them involved in the holiday activities. Christmas is important to children, and they too will need time to heal emotionally, so you mustn’t shut them out of your life during this period. Take some time for yourself over the holidays while remembering why you’re spending it alone. It may be very difficult at first, but the more you give in to your emotions, the harder it will be to move on in the future. If you feel yourself slipping into depression or suicidal thoughts, seek out someone who can help before it’s too late.

Conclusion

It may be hard to imagine what the first Christmas after divorce will look like. You might even think it’s impossible to enjoy this time of year because you’re feeling so much pain and sadness right now. We hope you found this blog post helpful, and we wish you luck with your first Christmas after divorce. Whether you’re hosting the holiday festivities or not, please enjoy yourself and make sure to take care of yourself throughout the day. 

If there’s anything that we can do for you, don’t hesitate to reach out in the comments below. Happy Holidays from our family to yours.

[xocontinentaldrift]

monthly report: january 2023

Wowza, I can't believe a month has already flown by. After a rough start of my kiddo getting stomach fly on New Year's Day, I spent most of the month just catching my breath and easing into the new year. It was a good call not to put too much pressure on myself.

Ironically, it was a productive month anyway, with lots of happy-making moments and accomplishments:

Revised about 1/3 of my novel

Took a lot of outdoor open air walks despite the snow and cold

Started to go out for dinner every Friday night with the family

Decluttered a lot of papers and some books

Mastered making falafel in our Instant Pot air fryer

Talked with my best friend on the phone a few times

Spent more time with my parents with my kiddo

Did a little more strength training in the mornings, experimenting with doing pushups everyday (because a few times a week makes it hard to track, it's easier for me just to do them everyday)

Bonded with our new kitty and she seems happy and well-adjusted in our home, and she is so snuggly!

Began getting to bed at a reasonable hour (before midnight is a huge accomplishment for me.)

Participated in some fashion challenges via my favorite fashion forum on Reddit

Read a lot of books

Began planning the little guy's birthday party next week, which is NOT a fun task for me, but I booked the location, put down a deposit, sent out invites, managed the RSVPs. Next up: figuring out food, transport/pickup logistics, ordering the cake, sending out reminders

Bought a nice lounge bed roll from Natural Life that makes my home so much more cheerful, funky and comfy

Paid all my bills!

Trucking along in my Duolingo French course -- I'm determined to finish the Intermediate 1 course by mid-year

However, the month had its difficulties and sticking points:

Some instances of mindless spending

Yelling a few times at my kiddo, especially when I was burned out at the beginning of the month coming off the busy holiday season

Conflict with partner over who does what in terms of house/life shit. The problem is that I feel all the work I do is never seen as the work that it is, it's just written off as "easy" and inconsequential.

Thought it got better at the end, my sleeping patterns were off, and I've begun waking up in the middle of the night. (Thanks, perimenopause!) Gotta figure something out because it really does bite into quality of life.

BORED AT WORK. Can't figure out if the responsibilities, the need for a new direction, or just the drab isolation of working from home in the middle of winter.

Inconsistent exercise when it's sub-zero temps. I mean, part of me thinks I can give myself some slack on this, but it does affect my overall sense of well-being

Having moments of feeling super, super depressed right before my period. It's not even just sad -- it's like my brain just can't feel good in any way, and I feel really despondent and hopeless in a way that doesn't feel right. Sometimes I wonder if I have PMDD. Something to think upon, I guess.

Just that general feeling of being in a hamster wheel, running furiously but with no real movement forward. Spinning my wheels. File it under "existential mid-life malaise."

So that's my roundup of January 2023. Not a bad month, I must say. I'm really looking forward to February 2023's goals and resolutions:

Keep revising my novel! I'm really making a lot of headway at the moment, maybe because I've hit a decent patch of storytelling

Getting ready for my writers group to start up again

Planning my kiddo's birthday party, it's gonna be a banger, lol

An old friend will be in town from London, so I'm looking forward to seeing her

Talking regularly on the phone with my best friend from college

More Friday night dinners as a family

Making myself get dressed in real clothes instead of being in sweats all day -- too easy to do in the winter, for sure!

Focusing my reading on books on relationships, parenting, love and marriage, and also incorporating more fiction

Cleaning out my closet once again and sending a box of clothes to ThredUp

Getting a shoe storage cabinet for my dining room

Getting to bed before midnight most nights -- ideally asleep by 11:30pm, but let's be realistic that this might not always happen

Cleaning out toiletries and makeup bag

Wearing perfume everyday -- I have a lot of scents that I need to use and use up and use out

Making an appointment to meet with a new OB-Gyn -- might delay this till March

Taking walks outside as much as I can

Going out to work at a cafe or some place like that at least once a week

Trying out 2-3 new recipes this month as a challenge. I don't care too much about being the ideal housewife, but for my own sake, I need to try some new recipes

Start re-creating an official website/social media professional presence again...which means paying off Dreamhost, ugh.

Maybe look into estimates for redoing kitchen floor

Start planning outdoor landscaping miniprojects, like planting new boxwoods on my side garden beds

Ok, that's getting a little too ambitious; I'll revise this as needed. Here's to a lovely February full of peace, inspiration, liberation and the divine feminine!

[tsunreleased]

ok so basically i’m gonna analyze this line by line. i’m insane.

there are two main things i wanna talk about here. 1. the death themes, and 2. the folklore/evermore/atwtmv references.

i’ll start with the death theme because it’s the biggest part of this theory and ties a lot of it together. it’s pretty straightforward and less of a theory, more just an analysis though. also it’s kind of obvious.

the song features her heartbeat throughout the entire thing, save for the very end. “we’re losing [the paitient]” is a pretty common phrase that would be said by doctors right when a patient is about to die, and taylor’s saying it here but about herself. joe wasn’t even observant enough to realize she was dying right in front of him, she had to call her own death just like she was the one to call off the relationship. “now i just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time [to call it].” this is just the very base of the death themes, they continue through the whole song but they bleed into the next part of my theory so i’ll move on for now.

the next part of my theory is that a lot more of folklore/evermore was about her real life then she let on. also specific lyrics in all too well tmv but those ones are more of a stretch. it’s been said in a lot of the articles that their relationship began to fall apart during covid, which is when folklore and evermore were written and also when red tv vault lyrics were being polished. here’s where i’m gonna start my analysis.

“i’m getting tired even as a phoenix, always rising from the ashes”

she’s done this before, “died” a million times, which almost calls back to death by a thousand cuts. however, it reminds me more of illicit affairs. we all know taylor cheated with joe at the beginning of the relationship. she’s written about it in gorgeous and high infidelity, we know this. illicit affairs is a “fictional” song about someone cheating and finding out that the relationship isn’t all they thought it would be. specifically the line “it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times.” like a phoenix trapped in a death and rebirth cycle. idk.

“how can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dying.” “my face was gray but you wouldn't admit that we were sick” “til we were too far gone to bring back to life.”

these three lines sound eerily similar to the part in atwtmv, “til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same, after three months in the grave.” they also remind me of a lot of the lines in my tears ricochet about death and funerals and all that.

we also have the soldier references, “all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army, frontlines, don’t you ignore me.” this combined with the imagery in the entirety of the great war kind of makes me feel like the “im a soldier who’s returning half her weight” from atw is connected somehow.

another point, she talks about how he didn’t notice her the whole time she was dying, and she says “i sent you signals.” which feels very exile. “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs.” plus “now you’re running down the hallway” from you’re losing me and “holding all this love out here in the hall” from exile.

then we have the marriage thing which takes a little detour but does circle back around to evermore. the lover album is full of marriage references. she gives off the impression that she loves this man so much and wants to marry him and be with him for the rest of their lives. marriage is referenced in lover (the song) paper rings and inthaf (and others i can’t remember rn.) she’s fully on board with the idea of marriage. she even follows it up in peace where she literally says she wants to give him a child. then suddenly in lavender haze she talks about not having to be married to be in love, and how content she is with just dating. seems like a huge change. then you remember that she wrote champagne problems, (co-wrote WITH JOE according to her. which is insane to me.) a song about not being ready for marriage idk. also a song she cries at frequently on tour. then in youre losing me, she says “i wouldn’t marry me either,” implying that she wanted marriage and joe said no way, and convinced her she didn’t want it. a lot to think about here.

the last references i wanted to bring up were in the people pleaser line. “a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.” shes a people pleaser, constantly needing people to like her (which she talks all about in mirrorball,) but she “only wanted [him] to SEE her.” implying she was so desperate for him to show some kind of emotion towards her that she didn’t care if it was like or dislike or anything, she just wanted him to acknowledge her. this calls back to the archer, (another favorite song of mine to analyze lol), where she talks about feeling like people see through her (which is a double meaning i’m well aware), and now even her own boyfriend sees through her. insane. joe alwyn when i catch you you’re done for. anyway, this majorly relates to the whole theme in tolerate it where he just sits there apathetic and uncaring. not “say[ing] something” or “do[ing] something.” (“say SOMETHING, babe, do SOMETHING.”)

lastly, “now i just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” is very similar to it’s time to go, the very last song on evermore.

anyway lmao its the middle of the night and i just spent forever writing this in a deranged state of mind, no way i’m proofreading anything so thanks for reading if you actually made it through the whole thing. sorry for clogging up my account i won’t do it again i promise. this song is just insanely fun to analyze for me and i have a million more thoughts but i’m not typing anymore rn oh my god. 💀

ik i don’t talk about songs here unless they’re unreleased but i have an insane mad scientist level delusional theory about you’re losing me if anyone wants to hear it 😭

[personasintro]

officially yours | jjk

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; you're his and he is yours on the paper – but what is the reality?

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, smut, arranged marriage au, friends to lovers

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, oral sex (f.), unprotected sex

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4k+

a/n: commissioned 

The tall modern building is not usually a place you hang around. In fact, you could count on your fingers how many times you've been here. The modern and clean interior never fails to amaze you, but that can be expected from such a prestigious company. It looks like the ones people get to see in movies – it definitely feels different to be inside and see it with your own eyes.

Now you're not a complete stranger to wealth and fortune, but you see it from a completely different side than people would've expected. You weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Even if it's a common assumption people have about you. 

“Welcome, Mrs. Jeon.”

The young receptionist welcomes you as soon as she spots you in a crowd full of working employees. Sometimes you wonder if you stick out so much, or they just know your face so much that they've got no problem recognizing you. Which is odd because you don't hang around in this circle of people very often. 

Mrs. Jeon. 

Even after a year, you feel a mixture of butterflies and oddness when hearing people addressing you like this. At the beginning, it took you quite a long time to get used to this. To hold such a powerful surname. Though, you felt proudness even though you're not sure if you had the right to feel it in the first place. 

Just a reminder that none of this is real.

Do you even deserve to be addressed by this surname that is technically yours only on papers? Morally, you're not so sure. 

A polite greeting makes it past your lips, trying not to squirm at the prying eyes of other people passing by. You're not exactly formally dressed, like every employee is. But you're not an employee. 

“Is my husband in his office?” you ask.

Again. After a year of marriage, you feel like you're letting a lie out of your mouth at addressing someone as your husband. 

The woman remains unbothered and completely clueless to your inner thoughts though. You haven't been doing this for a week, a year is a long time for you to improve your acting skills. 

“Yes, he just finished a meeting ten minutes ago. He's waiting for you.”

Giving her a simple nod and a soft 'thank you', you make your way to the elevators and click on the number of his floor where his office is located. 

It reminds you of the first time you settled on a deal that changed your lives. You've known Jungkook, though you never actually became close friends. There weren't actually many opportunities for you to get to know him better, the only heir to his parents company was too busy getting prepared for the new role and position as a CEO of Jeon industries. Funnily enough, two people with completely different backgrounds, you had some mutual friends where you actually met him.

You clicked, even from the few and very casual conversations you had. He wasn't the overly confident and cocky heir somebody would peg him for. He was grounded (in a way), polite and extremely charming. Though his parents were never strict about who he hangs out with or what he likes to do in his free time, one of the things they would pester him about was the need for him to settle down. It was the only pressure Jungkook always found in his parents.

It's not like he didn't have a choice to decide about his future – at that time the young twenty year old man wanted nothing more than to continue his family business. It's actually something he loves to do. He wasn't forced into it.

But with years passing by, Jungkook's parents would grow impatient and rather concerned about their son's lack of commitment. Random women taking their turns in his bed wasn't his strongest part. 

Naturally, they would start introducing him to their partners' daughters. And despite Jungkook's wildlife and freedom he had, they were nothing like him. Not that he's the romantic type who believes in soulmates and all that stuff, he wouldn't want to marry someone for money or any possible benefits for the company. The company was doing very well on itself and he didn't need to do any arranged marriage. 

He loves his parents to the bone. He is grateful for everything they've done for him – even more how they raised him and never were controlling. Not like his peers experienced in similar situations. 

Jungkook knows many people his age and in a same situation. It was bound for him to meet them, considering how many parties and social gatherings he had to attend, especially after being introduced as the new CEO. That's when he realized, after hearing his peers' struggles, how lucky and fortunate he is. 

So when his parents wouldn't let go of the topic of commitment and marriage, it was like a huge slap to his face. No matter what he would do or say, it wouldn't change their minds and eventually, Jungkook found himself stuck.

And that's when you came into the picture. 

The first time you heard his plan, you called him insane. You laughed into his face and told him you don't need anything he's offering you. Though Jungkook assured you he doesn't think of you as someone who needs or wants his money, he was more than willing to help you financially. He told you he would take care of you – something you found offending at first. 

Why would you need a man to take care of you? 

You are completely capable of taking care of yourself. You don't need any Jeon Jungkook to bathe you in wealth and luxury. 

But just like Jungkook – you're a loving daughter who would do anything for her parents. Well, unlike Jungkook, you weren't lucky enough to be growing up with two loving parents. 

The money Jungkook offered you by simply saying 'yes' would take care of any family member. Jungkook was no stranger, he still isn't. And after weighing the pros and cons for many sleepless nights, you found yourself nodding to his insane plan. 

Nobody could know. Rule number one.

The marriage would last for one year. It's the reason why you agreed to it in the first place. You wouldn't be bound to a man based on an arranged marriage for the rest of your life. You want your own family, kids, to fall in love. And a year didn't seem like a long time.

Jungkook made sure it didn't.

Whenever he would have free time, he would take you to places you would never dream about seeing. Countless vacations, trips and activities you would never be able to experience if it wasn't for him. And for that you will be grateful for the rest of your life.

To not make anyone suspicious, you agreed not to mess around with other people. Though, this particular deal wasn't settled at the beginning. It happened naturally. You couldn't risk being seen with other people, no matter how much you would try to hide it.

You will be watched, it was one of the things Jungkook was preparing you for.

And to be honest, you didn't want to go behind Jungkook's back, no matter how fake this marriage was. It's just a year, you will be fine. 

But having to share a bedroom, and two young people who find each other attractive, it didn't take long for you to succumb yourselves to your desires. There was nothing wrong about sleeping together, you were practically married.

You've found yourselves in a healthy and good relationship where two people became close friends. Even if the marriage is fake. The sex is mindblowing, so none of you actually miss the thrill of hooking up with anyone else. For the first time, Jungkook is committed, even though it's not exactly the way his parents think it is. 

And there he is. 

After politely knocking on the door and hearing his voice to invite you in, you open the door and find him sitting behind his desk. He looks fine as always, a few buttons unbuttoned to show how comfortable he allows himself to feel after a two hours long meeting. His suit is draped over the chair while he's slouched on the chair with a pen twirling between his long fingers.

“No lunch this time?” he asks, tilting his brow at you when he sees your empty hands.

You crack a smile, making your way to his desk while you sit on the small white leather couches. “Sorry, came straight from work.”

“It's fine,” he chuckles, “I'm only joking. How's the new employee?”

One of your dreams was to open your business. Jungkook helped you every step of the way, supported you in more ways than financially, while he helped to make your final decision. You've decided to own a clothing brand where you connected with amazing designers who helped to make your dream come true. Two years ago, you didn't even know it was something you'd like to do. 

Opening your e-shop has been absolutely amazing, making sure any body type is able to find their size. It's actually very rare in Korea to do that and you love to bring something new to the table. Jungkook liked the idea. You invested everything from your previous job to this project of yours. Living with Jungkook and not having to worry about any bills allowed you to freely focus and invest in your business. Sure, Jungkook must've helped but he was more than happy to do so. 

With your help, he got his parents off his back. 

After a year, he would tell them you decided to break it off. He's sure they won't pressure him into any other relationship or marriage after the divorce. If they do, he will handle it in a different way.

“He's great,” you smile, “Actually does the job this time, compared to the last one.” 

Jungkook laughs a little, knowing how tense you've been about this one particular employee who wasn't doing his job. Jungkook encouraged you to take care of it, and showed you you have to think about your business more than people's hearts. Especially to someone who's getting paid and not doing their job. 

Jungkook has been your guide from day one. A huge help.

“Great,” he nods, twirling the pen a few times before he tosses it on his desk. “I'm getting off work earlier today, should be home at six. Is that alright?” 

He sounds so gentle, the way he says home makes your heart squeeze.

“Yeah, sure.” you tell him. 

You've made plans for tonight, have been preparing yourself to talk to him about your deal. It's been a year and three months after your marriage, yet it's not ending and he has never brought this topic up.

“I'm meeting Jungseok in an hour, then I'm going home to prepare dinner for us.” you inform him, completely missing the way Jungkook's face drops at the mention of your close friend.

You've met him during your marriage, though there were no boundaries crossed, the man seemed to show an awful interest in a married woman. The worst thing about it is that he can't really say anything about it because technically, you're not really his. He knows you're not having anything serious with the mentioned man, though he's aware of your deal.

And he doesn't like any of it. 

“Oh, I didn't know.” he tries to say lightly, hating how tight his throat suddenly feels. 

“Ah, he texted me this morning. We haven't seen each other for a while now, we usually just text.” 

Oh, like that's not enough.

The amount of times the man decided to suddenly text you is hilarious. Fuck, he would even call when Jungkook was balls deep inside you and he actually feared you will pick up the call, instead of finishing what you had going on. Luckily, that never happened but it pissed Jungkook to the core. 

“Mhm,” he hums, scratching his chin. “Well, I've got one last meeting but that shouldn't take long.”

You both talk for a moment, catching up with each other's day before you discuss the dinner plans. Jungkook sees you're a little on edge these days and though he thinks he knows why, there's this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

In the middle of your giggling, you're interrupted by a gentle knock from Jungkook's assistant, informing him of his meeting. 

However, he doesn't go to the meeting board room like he usually does, he actually invites the person to his office. And when that person is someone you've grown to know, someone very well-known in the CEO community, you do everything in your power to be polite and welcoming. 

She's special partner, even you can see that and you know zero fuck about Jungkook's business. He treats her differently.

He welcomes her with a warm smile and of course, you're forced to bid goodbye to your husband as you part your ways. The kiss you and Jungkook share feels great, especially with her eyes on you two.

And you know you're petty.

But it seems to be the least of your worries because tonight, you might end everything you and Jungkook settled on. But it's only fair because in the end – that was the deal. 

You should've known it would end up like this. 

But how could you? 

Could you have really known? 

The dinner was delicious. Just the two of you like every other evening. Talking, laughing, smiling…

Until you brought up your fake marriage. 

“It's because of him, isn't it?” Jungkook chuckles bitterly, throwing a tantrum like a little kid while you gape at him completely stunned.

Out of all responses, you never expected him to get so… upset over something he came up with. 

“What?” You find your voice, breathing out confusingly. “This has nothing to do with him.”

“Oh, please.” he scoffs, turning away from you to grip the kitchen's counter. “You always text, you even meet him during your lunch breaks.”

All of that is true. Well, you don't always text with him. And you want to point that out, but something stops you and justifying your relationship with Jungkook seems like a bigger priority.

“Jungkook, this marriage is fake.” you inform him as if he didn't know. 

You're confused. 

His shoulders tense, knuckles whiten from how tightly he's gripping the expensive marble counter. 

“All of it has been fake then?” he asks, still not facing you which starts to worry you for some reason. 

You haven't seen Jungkook acting like this. Upset, maybe a little. Not in the mood? Rarely but it happened. But this time you're actually left totally confused. 

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Y/N,” he chuckles, shaking his head slightly as he slowly turns around. 

You're met with a pained expression, a single look at his face causing you to feel a sting in your heart.

“I know we started this as an arrangement, a convenience for both of us… but is that all it's been for you all this time?” he asks, slowly stepping closer to your distraught form. 

“Jungkook.”

“No,” he says, “Answer me.”

And then he stands right in front of you, his entire figure hovering over you as if you were the littlest thing in the room. Like you're this little lost girl – not the confident woman you've grown to be. 

“Do you want this divorce?”

Do you want it? 

What is he even asking?

“That was the deal.” you remind him silently as he presses his lips tightly. 

He doesn't look pleased with your response but you can't bring yourself to say something more. 

“So, what? We get divorce and then you're going to him?”

“Why do you keep bringing him into this?” you ask, brows scrunching as Jungkook clenches his jaw. “Are you jealous?”

“If I was?”

That shuts you up for a minute, eyes widening. Jungkook never really had a reason to be jealous, not that you were together in reality. But you had each other – none of you messed around with other people.

“There's nothing going on between me and him. Never will.” you whisper, gasping when Jungkook suddenly cups one side of your face with his big palm. 

He presses his forehead against yours, breathing slowly and calmly as if his heart wasn't about to explode.

“Give me a chance.”

“A chance?” you whisper.

“Yes,” he says, “To prove to you that this could work.”

“Jungkook–”

“I love you Y/N, don't you get it?” he suddenly exclaims, pushing himself off you while he rubs his forehead in frustration. 

“But–”

“But what? I can't?”

Even being frustrated, he looks handsome as ever. His hair is getting too long, almost always falling to his eyes and hiding the beautiful color in them. 

“I didn't say that.”

That makes him whine. He actually whines – like all the times he has done it when he was frustrated. You would always giggle, finding him adorable for acting like a little kid when he's a whole grown-ass man, a successful and well-known CEO at that. It's one of the things you appreciate about him. 

Looking at him, you realize the three words he confessed to you in the midst of his frustration. It starts to kick in and your eyes widen again.

You might look fine, maybe a little shaken up but fine, but this isn't any easier for you. You've been thinking about every single word you would say, replaying different scenarios every free second you had. You don't know what the afterlife is after Jungkook. In all honesty, you aren't keen to find out. But you had to do this. 

To protect yourself and your heart.

You could go on and on with this for who knows how long. You like Jungkook's company and hearing him confessing his true feelings to you, which is still a bit shocking to you, you might actually feel the same. You've been so in denial, for the longest time actually.

“Do you really love me?” You find yourself asking. 

Jungkook's cheeks redden and he does the typical Jungkook thing when he is nervous. He scratches his ear and avoids your gaze. 

“Isn't that what I said?” he mutters.

You turn your back to him, tracing your shaking fingers over your lips. 

“Talk to me please.” he suddenly whines after a minute of silence. 

Just as you're about to turn around, your back is pressed against Jungkook's chest as you gasp. Jungkook wraps you in a back hug, lips touching the top of your head. 

“I don't want to lose you.” he confesses shyly. The frustrated and upset Jungkook is long gone.

Your heart melts, moving your body into action as you turn around. For a second, Jungkook looks scared you're trying to pry his hands off you to get away from him. But in reality you offer him the sweetest smile. Your hands find his ones as you grip them tight. 

“I… I don't want divorce.” you confess. 

“But you brought it up.”

“Simply because that was our deal. I was scared you're gonna bring it up and it's going to be too late for me. I didn't know what I felt… but hearing you–I love you too.”

Jungkook gasps, searching your face frantically as if you just pulled the biggest prank on him. 

“You do?” 

“Yes. I don't want anyone else, Jungkook.” you admit.

And then his face breaks into the biggest smile, your own soon cupped by his large hands as he gives you a big kiss. You kiss him back, squeezing his wrists because you need to feel him. You need to know he's not going anywhere. He's right where he is supposed to be. 

And so are you. 

“Yes, right there!” 

The sound of crashing waves from the outside is a white noise, no longer properly acknowledged as you barely recognize your own voice and the desperation behind it.

“Jungkook, please, just fuck me.” you whine, raising your hips off the mattress to meet his hungry mouth.

He lifts his head up from between your thighs, lips completely glistening and wet as he frowns. “But I wanna eat you out first.” he whines this time and while your heart does the weird jump it always does when it comes to him, you find yourself smiling his way. 

“There is enough time for that. Please. I need to feel you.” you plead with him.

He's thinking about it. You see the uncertainty on his face and while he loves to go down on you, he can't disobey his wife who's pleading so nicely for him.

Your body aches from your previous activities. You had eight hours (precisely) to recover when you fell asleep in the arms of the man you love. Your husband. It still gives you the same ticklish feeling in your chest and the pit of your stomach but this time, it's actually true. It's not official on the papers but in your heart too. Ah, god… it sounds so cheesy but all you want to do is to giggle like a teenage girl about how much in love you are with this man.

He stares at you with those doe eyes, still wearing the ponytail he made to wear while working out. But you messed up his plans. Flattered those pretty eyelashes at him and the most angelic smile, sheets sliding off your naked and marked body.

Oh, how many times Jungkook made love to you because you felt insecure. He never knew you feel that way about yourself – about the body he loves and wouldn't change for anything. Because it's you. 

You love this man so much that you have to show him. Now it's your turn.

You get on top of him, just how he loves and enjoys having you. Letting him enter you for what seems like the hundredth time over these past seven days, you both moan in pleasure. He holds you close to him, letting you take the charge as he occasionally thrusts his hips into you. The pleasure increases with each minute and you grow weaker for this man.

Bodies becoming one, the sweet “I love you's” are exchanged in breathless moans.

“I love you so much,” Jungkook moans into your ear, your walls tightening around him. “My sweet love. My angel.” 

This is your second anniversary. Technically your first one where you truly celebrate your marriage, making love all day long. And after so many nights of keeping thing adventurous and fun, letting Jungkook to fuck you into the mattress and everywhere in the vila he rented for this special occasion, making love just feels right. 

You both come together in a record time.

Jungkook fills you up like many times before, the sensation making your legs buckle. You calm down in one another's hold, Jungkook's strong arms around you as he peppers kisses all over the side of your face. 

“I was thinking.” Jungkook starts.

“Oh.”

“Hey!” he laughs, shifting on his spot as you finally lay down next to him, ear pressed against his chest where you hear his heartbeat. “How about we start a family?”

“What?” you gasp, lifting your head immediately to look at him as he gives you a shy grin. 

“I know we're together for one year, officially, but I've been thinking about our future and–”

You shut him up with a kiss to his surprised lips while he melts, relaxing under your touch. 

“Yes.”

“Yes?” he squeals, “Just like that? Yes? I didn't even tell you the speech I prepared.” 

You giggle, “You can tell me later.” you assure him as he chuckles.

“So? Are we gonna do it? Us? Parents?”

You giggle how out of his element he seems to be. It makes you love him even more as you caress his chest before you stare deeply into his soft brown eyes. You brush a few of his hair off his face and send him another angelic smile. 

“I can't wait to have your baby, Mr. Jeon.”

Jungkook laughs, throwing his head back before he looks at you all lovingly, cupping your cheek. 

“I was afraid you would never say it, Mrs. Jeon.”