#just a few days ago i was this really brilliant secondary blog

[wispcherry]

oh god I can smell the beginning of a horrible sibling relationship.

[taiblogcomics]

I Can’t Pet Force You To Read This One, But...

Hey there, high school crushes. Well, it's finally here. Can you believe it? Yes, counting from the original Xanga site (which, yes, still counts. It's like our own Golden Age publication or apocryphia), this is our 10th anniversary of reviewing comics. That's fantastic. I'm excited, can't you tell? I can tell, since I'm writing this preamble a good two months before the actual anniverary~

So, last year we reviewed the absolute pile of dreck that is Heroes in Crisis. And while that was worth ripping into, I'd rather not spend the 10th anniversary hating on something. I'd like to do something actually meaningful to me. I've teased about this one for many years, probably for as long as I've been doing this blog, and I think it's time we stopped pussyfooting around and reviewed some Garfield. But not just any Garfield. It's finally time, my friends. This... is Garfield's Pet Force.

I dunno how many people will remember this one. Maybe you recall the direct-to-DVD movie adaptation from 2009, or at least advertising for it. I never saw it, but apparently it differs a bit. They also appeared a few times in those Garfield comics from back in the day. We even reviewed a couple (some were on the Xanga blog). But what we're looking at here are the original novellas published between 1997 and 1999. So yeah, these really are from my childhood. And since I've long espoused that Garfield was always funnier 20 years ago, this must be actual premium Garfield content, yeah? By golly, I hope so, because we got five whole books here today. So we should probably get into them~

Book 1: The Outrageous Origin

This is a classic sort of superhero cover. Standard team shot of poses, and that's fine for a first volume. In fact, that's great. Later editions of this would replace the lightning-filled gradient background with a pure white one, but I have this original version. We'll get to specifics about these characters in the meat of the story, but let's talk about the costumes for a bit. Very classic early-'90s sort of look, before the Dark Age kicked in. Reminds me a lot of Jim Lee's X-Men designs, actually. Making all your characters visually distinct is important in a team book. The heavy lean into secondary colours is unusual for heroic characters, but not unwelcome.

So we actually start with a cold open in the superhero universe. This is pretty much to introduce us to the characters as soon as possible, and thus I'll do the same for you here.

*Garzooka, team leader, super strong, has a razor-sharp claw, and can shoot radioactive hairballs from his mouth. That's... at least a unique power, I don't think anyone on the Justice League can do that~ *Odious, the dumb muscle with the accent on the "dumb". Possibly even stronger than Garzooka, and possessing a "super-stretchy stun tongue", an elastic tongue that can scramble the minds of whoever it adheres to. *Starlena, the team girl. She can fly, and she has a siren song that can put those who hear it into a hypnotic trance. Garzooka is the only one immune to its effects, for reasons that are never explained. *Abnermal, the kid-appeal character. He has ice powers, forcefields, and an ill-defined "pester power" that means he can annoy people on a greater scale than normal folks. It's pretty much only used for comic relief, but that could be a brilliant power in the right hands. *Compooky, the brains of the operation. Other than flight, his powers are limited to super intelligence, which means he's usually the exposition guy. There's probably a reason they left him out of the movie adaptation~

You got all that? Don't worry, we'll introduce you again later in the book. What actually happens in the intro chapter isn't really important, it's just setting up the universe. In fact, it's all taking place within Pet Force #99, a comic just enjoyed by Nermal. Yes, we quickly cut over to the main Garfield universe ("our universe", the narrator calls it), where Pet Force is just a comic book. The Garfield gang is all outside, enjoying a cookout prepared by Jon Arbuckle. Nermal is extremely enthused by his comic book, and brags about how he has all 98 previous issues sealed and polybagged, and this one will soon join them. Sorry, Nermal, this came out in 1997, the speculator boom already went bust~

Garfield dismisses comic books as stupid because you can't eat them or use them as a blanket, and declares that none of the stuff that happens in the comic could possibly happen in real life. Uh oh, irony! Because these things can happen, and do! It's a parallel universe, baby! This might be one of my earliest introductions to a "parallel worlds" concept. Much like Earths 1 and 2 in pre-Crisis DC, the events of the comic are essentially the real life adventures of their super-powered counterparts in another dimension. Most of the action in these stories will take place there~

So here's the setup: Vetvix (the parallel equivalent to Liz the veternarian) is an evil sorceress and scientist, who essentially wants to experiment on animals in peace, and possibly subjugate the universe while she's at it. You could argue that Liz is an odd choice for villain, since our universe's Liz isn't particularly evil. But then, our universe's Garfield isn't particularly heroic either. She operates out of a deadly space station called the Orbiting Clinic of Chaos, and at present she's waiting for the arrival of her henchman, Space Pie-Rat, who is a six-foot-tall anthropomorphic rat dressed in stereotypical pirate getup. Vetvix has just finished inventing a levitation ray, and she'd like Pie-Rat to go out and use it to steal all the food in the universe. Vetvix doesn't think small, is what I'm saying.

The counter to Vetvix is Emperor Jon, ruler of the planet Polyester. He's kind and benevolent, even if he's a little dippy and his fashion sense atrocious. Having gotten wind of Vetvix's latest plan, he contacts Pet Force in their ship, the Lightspeed Lasagna. Upon learning the problem, Pet Force gives chase to Pie-Rat. They eventually corner him on some desolate planet, landing and entering an abandoned factory. Unfortunately, they're not safe amongst the dangerous machinery, because this turns out to be a trap. Vetvix has been busy as hell, because she's also invented a metal that's impervious to their powers. And that's not all, because she's also basically invented the Phantom Zone, where she traps Pet Force forever. It specifically mentions it doesn’t kill them, because it wouldn't be kosher to murder the heroes in a Garfield book~

The Lightspeed Lasagna has both onboard cameras connected to the heroes' belts as well as automatic return protocols, so within two days, Emperor Jon knows exactly what's happened to Pet Force. He needs help, so he calls upon his most trusted and powerful advisor: Binky the Sorceror. Binky's just as loud and obnoxious as in the main universe, but he's also a powerful magician. He conjures up a spell for Emperor Jon that lets him pierce the veil between universes. It's basically Equestria Girls rules: parallel universes have similar characters between them. So to replace Pet Force, they need the nearest genetic equivalents from another universe. And that's the versions of Garfield, Odie, Arlene, Nermal, and Pooky that we know and love~

Back in the main universe, it's another day entirely. Another cookout is taking place, and Nermal has received his special anniversary issue of Pet Force #100. The cover's really special, dripping with '90s cover gimmicks like glow-in-the-dark and embossing. A rarely used one, though, was "portal to another universe". That was pretty expensive to print, so you won't find many comics like Nermal's. Maybe he had something there with the collecting after all. The cover glows, and while Jon is distracted by the grill, Garfield and Friends disappear~

They reappear in Emperor Jon's wood-paneled throne room, now transformed into Pet Force. Emperor Jon and Sorceror Binky try to explain the situation, but Garfield--now Garzooka--is disbelieving of the whole thing. In fact, even the idea that Jon can now hear him talk absolutely floors him. Since he's about to deliver the exposition for everyone, can we talk about Compooky for a minute? This spell has just granted sapience to Garfield's teddy bear. I don't expect deep philosophy from a children's novella, but the ramifications of this are really under-explored. Like, never mind the whole idea of a teddy bear having the same genetic makeup as an alternate universe equivalent. He goes from inanimate object to fully conscious being, and he just rolls with it.

Anyways, once everybody gets caught up on what's going on and accepts the new reality, a training montage ensues so the group can all learn to use their powers without killing each other. Once at least reasonably trained, the reborn Pet Force is sent out to stop Pie-Rat. He's gotten sloppy in the times with Pet Force dead, so they track him down easily. After a brief scuffle where Garzooka takes his eyepatch, Pie-Rat flees in his ship. They follow Pie-Rat back to the Orbital Clinic of Chaos, but they can't go in the front. That led the original Pet Force into a trap. Finding an unguarded maintenance hatch--standard on any big space station--they enter Vetvix's lair for a final confrontation!

After dealing with the Waiting Room of Doom, which slowly fills with outdated magazines, they enter Vetvix's inner sanctum. Frustrated with Pie-Rat's failure, she uses her magic to turn him into an ordinary mouse. Vetvix then attempts to use her same weapon on this new Pet Force, but thanks to story contrivance, it only works on beings born in this universe. As other dimensional visitors already, they can't be banished to another dimension. She then pulls a Dr. Claw and runs off cursing Pet Force's name while her base self-destructs. Vetvix is a very "discard and draw" sort of villain, it seems. Pet Force, of course, makes a harrowing escape just in the nick of time.

Returning to Emperor Jon, they vow to be ready to return whenever they're called on, since evil never stays dormant for long. Odious even gifts Emperor Jon with the mouse-ified Pie-Rat as proof of their victory. Well, I'm glad they remember that, so they didn't accidentally murder a major villain in their first superhero outing. They're returned to their own universe, and the time differential between them places them back with Jon having not had time to even look up from the grill. Garfield begins to doubt the adventure even happened--until that night, when he finds Pie-Rat's eyepatch still on his person. Ah, definitive proof of... eyepatches, I guess~

Book 2: Pie-Rat's Revenge!

You have to wonder where, in a space-faring superhero setting, Pie-Rat got the inspiration for his classic pirate motif. It's a little incongruous is all I'm saying. And hey, remember when I said earlier that Garzooka's purple-and-green colour scheme was odd for a hero? Well, here he is as a villain! That'll catch your eye. This would be a terrific comic cover, which is what you want in a series like this.

The book opens with a brief recap of the previous story's events, then moves into the new plot. See, Emperor Jon has opted to keep the polymorphed Pie-Rat as his pet. How very Ron Weasley of him. That's pretty apt, actually, because similarly Pie-Rat has maintained his intelligence in his new mousey form. Pie-Rat gets sick of being Emperor Jon's pet and plans a daring escape, exploiting the emperor's dimwitted and loving personality against him. Pie-Rat jams the lock with a food pellet and makes his escape that night.

Once free from his cage, he encounters Binky's cauldron, still left in the throne room from when the sorceror summoned Pet Force from Garfield's universe. Figuring he has nothing to lose, Pie-Rat jumps in the leftover brew. Suddenly he finds himself growing. He returns to his original anthropomorphic state--but with a twist. He's now twice his original height, a staggering twelve feet tall. He scoops up the rest of the remaining potion for later, and sneaks out of the palace as best as a 12-foot rat can sneak. Desiring revenge on both his former employer and his longtime foes, he steals Pet Force's ship and makes his escape from the planet, headed for Vetvix's newest base.

After his guards help Emperor Jon put the pieces of the problem together, they decide they must once again call upon the powers of Pet Force to recover their missing vehicle and stop the newly embiggened Pie-Rat. Fortunately, Garfield and friends have been watching movies all weekend, so Jon doesn't notice when his pets disappear from the living room in a bright flash. Of course, once returned to the alternate universe and the situation explained, they still have a problem: how do they give chase to Pie-Rat when he's got their ship?

And speaking of Pie-Rat in their ship, he's followed the trail of a mysterious energy output, and it's led him right to Vetvix's new base, the Menacing Moon of Mayhem. See, this is why you don't blow up your base: the backup base is never as good. if it was, it wouldn't be the backup. Given that it's such a shoddy base, Pie-Rat is easily able to get inside and get close to Vetvix. She's expecting a technological attack, so she's unprepared when he pulls out that vial of magic potion and sprinkles her with it. And naturally, the potion that made him grow 12 feet tall makes Vetvix shrink to 5 inches. It's magic, we don't have to explain it!

Pie-Rat takes the magic crystal that Vetvix uses to fuel her powers, which of course didn't shrink because magic is just bullshit. See previous paragraph's last sentence. And while Pie-Rat takes over the base and begins plotting a further revenge against Pet Force, we cut over to them. They're at Sorceror Binky's own castle, and it's clear he's a bit of a hoarder. This is to their advantage, though, as they eventually piece together a working spaceship out of old car parts and other things, all patched together between Compooky's know-how and Binky's magic. This seems like the sort of book where I could use that "it's magic" quote every other paragraph. But craft a new--if small--ship they do, and speed off in the newly christened Planetary Pizza.

The rickety little ship does eventually find its way to Pie-Rat's base, saving him the trouble of being proactive as a villain. The magic thing keeps happening, and Pie-Rat basically becomes Discord for a bit while he fights them, doing things like turning Starlena's siren song into actual living music notes. One by one, the members of Pet Force are taken out, with only Garzooka is left. He and Pie-Rat struggle, while Pie-Rat tries to aim the magic crystal at Garzooka. Garzooka uses his claw to rip the crystal from Pie-Rat and defeat him.

Unfortunately, here's where the cover comes in. It seems the moments Pie-Rat was focusing the crystal during the struggle affected Garzooka's mind. He puts the crystal around his own neck. which turns him evil. He helps Pie-Rat to his feet, and the pair escape in the Lightspeed Lasagna. While Pet Force pursues them in their ramshackle ship, the new criminal duo strikes the storage planet of Deli to steal their food. Pet Force manages to catch up as the villains celebrate their spoils, and use a magic blast from the systems Binky installed to short out the Lightspeed Lasagna. This enables them to dock with the ship and climb aboard for a contfrontation.

The group fights, and once again the bearer of a bullshit magic crystal subdues the heroes easily. Annoyed now, Garzooka takes hold of Starlena and prepares to kill her or something. She taps into the one thing she has left: she's not fighting just Garzooka, but Garfield in his body. She drops some heavy put-downs, which resonate with Garfield, and he hesitates long enough for her to cut the crystal off him. The crystal hits the floor and shatters, undoing its evil magics on Garzooka's mind as well as on all his teammates. With Pet Force reunited, Pie-Rat is easily subdued and locked up.

The group waits for the ship to power back up, then speed off to apologise to the planet Deli. Following that, they head back towards Vetvix's moonbase. That night, though, the magic that was making Pie-Rat 12 feet tall wears off, and he escapes from his cell. He steals the remaining shards of the crystal, climbs into the Planetary Pizza, and makes a getaway. As a bonus, he also repeats the power-down spell against the bigger ship, giving him ample time to escape. And he's not the only one. Over on the Menacing Moon of Mayhem, Vetvix also returns to her proper size, and abandons this base as well. And when Pet Force fails to find her, they simply return to their own universe, ready to be called on once again in the future~

Book 3: K-Niner: Dog of Doom!

Another very basic comic book-style cover. K-Niner is a much more typical villain in style. This one's actually a wrap-around, and features the rest of Pet Force reacting to K-Niner on the back cover. Which is good because, other than the first cover, the covers all have a heavy Garzooka focus. Which makes sense for a book series, I suppose, you wanna assure the kiddos that Garfield's gonna be in the book. But as a comic book series, this would be a bad look for a team book~

So after our standard introduction and recap, we start off with Vetvix in yet another new base, the Floating Fortress of Fear. I'm sure it's very intimidating, if she can keep hold of it for more than a single book. She's picking up from the epilogue and putting the last touches on K-Niner, mostly enhancing his intelligence. Now, you look at the cover and tell me what kind of voice you'd expect. Some sort of German or Austrian accent, like the doberman on Road Rovers? Does anyone remember Road Rovers~? Anyways, but no: he speaks with a posh British accent. You know, the "I say, good chaps, looks like we're in a bit of a sticky wicket, eh wot?" type. Trust me, you can tell. But just because he sounds refined doesn't mean he's not evil.

I also love that after the initial "trapped them in the Phantom Zone" bit, the villains just go whole ham. K-Niner here demonstrates that he is indeed evil by threatening to rip out Vetvix's throat. Let your villains be villainous is all I'm saying. She's pleased he's so vicious, but feels he needs to learn his place as well. She force-chokes him until he complies. She then gives him his assignment: she thinks dogs should be liberated. The Boy Mayor of Second Life would approve, and so does K-Niner. Turning pets on their masters is just his style.

K-Niner takes a portable evolution gun, and immediately sets off. He begins on the planet Kennel. Isn't it neat how every planet is named after an English word that describes its function? K-Niner quickly takes over the dog population and turns them against their masters, because boosting their intelligence also makes them evil, of course. They use enslavement collars on their former owners, and within a few days, the dogs now run the planet. We cut over to Emperor Jon on Polyester, where a man has crash-landed a ship. He's an escapee from Kennel, and he's here to report the events so we can get the plot moving and once more summon Pet Force!

And summoned once more they are, Garfield and Friends once more conveniently disappearing in a split second while Jon's back is turned (this time they're outside playing volleyball). And once back in the parallel universe, Emperor Jon fills them all in on K-Niner's dastardly doings. Garzooka, naturally, takes great offense to dogs being in charge, and takes his duties as a hero completely seriously for once. Pet Force takes off for a confrontation with K-Niner in the Lightspeed Lasagna. And speaking of Pet Force's ships...

The Planetary Pizza, piloted by Pie-Rat, plants its pads down on polar planet Glacia. Pie-Rat is here seeking a way to restore his magic crystal and regain his mighty magic powers. He's sought out the home of a legendary evil wizard, who's known by the name of... Barfo. I see why Barfo keeps his location a secret. But anyway, Barfo is the one who made the crystal, so naturally Pie-Rat reasons he can restore it as well. Suprisingly once on Glacia, Barfo's evil lair is pretty easy to find. His manservant, Hobart the Gnome, brings Pie-Rat before the wizard, and within moments the crystal is restored! Pie-Rat turns to thank Hobart, but Hobart suddenly turns into Vetvix!

Yes, Vetvix knew all along that Pie-Rat's quest would lead him here. And as she was once Barfo's student in the ways of evil magic, she knew she could get the old coot to go along with her plan. Barfo returns the crystal to Vetvix, restoring her powers. And so Pie-Rat, a recurring villain in three whole books, is unceremoniously done away with, as Vetvix teleports him inside an asteroid, trapping him in solid rock. Even if the asteroid were hollow or he displaced the interior when he teleported in, no doubt he'll suffocate within moments. That's pretty harsh.

With that over, we rejoin Pet Force as they approach Kennel. K-Niner's battle cruiser spots them incoming, and shoots the ship down, even in spite of Abnermal's forcefields. Pet Force bail out of the ship, and Abnermal uses his powers to make snow to cushion their fall. Upon landing, a contingent of mutant animals attack. The mooks aren't much, but K-Niner himself puts up an impressive fight. However, one of the mooks pulls a gun and points it at Compooky. This is why Compooky usually stays aboard the ship, but that wasn't an option. Rather than let their friend get hurt, Pet Force surrenders.

Pet Force is held prisoner separately from Compooky, with both the cell's technology making it freeze-proof and threats of "don't break out, or we'll shoot your compatriot". Their imprisonment is not long, though, as suddenly the power goes out. Pet Force takes advantage of the situation and make their escape, quickly running into Compooky. K-Niner didn't think the hyper-intelligent teddy bear needed a high security cell, and just locked him in the basement. It was easy for him to then break out and shut down the local power grid. This also has the side effect of turning off the control collars the humans were wearing. How convenient!

With control of the planet now tilted in their favour, Pet Force now has time to both fix their ship and reverse the polarity of the brain-boosting weapons, turning the dog population of Kennel back to their normal selves. Though the experience did change the pet owners of Kennel. Having experienced life in their pets' shoes (so to speak) for a bit, they've resolved to treat their canine companions a bit more equally. More being allowed on the furniture, less stupid tricks for treats. Still, Pet Force can't stay long, and they head off in pursuit of K-Niner's battle cruiser. This is why most superheroes don't have spaceships (Jedis don't count): if your enemy also has one, they can flee way more easily than on foot.

Not willing to let another place go to the dogs, as it were, Pet Force catches up with K-Niner. With his previous success, Vetvix has stepped up the timetable and sent him after Polyester right away. Emperor Jon is in danger! They enter the planet's atmosphere, and are attacked by fighter craft. They fend them off, but their weapons system is damaged in the fight, so they can't simply use the reverse brain-rays and solve it quickly. The team splits up instead: Garzooka and Abnermal will go after K-Niner, while the other three will find the planet's power source and knock out the collars, since that worked so well the last time.

The two heroes quickly make short work of K-Niner's guards, and then turn the battle to deal with the Dog of Doom himself. While the struggle goes on, the rest of Pet Force reach the planet's power grid. Using a clever tactic, Compooky overloads the power and causes and electrical storm that simultaneously undoes the brain-boosting effect and shorts out the enslavement collars. There's only a few pages left, after all, and we have to wrap this up.  K-Niner is reverted back into an ordinary dog, and the emperor is reverted to an ordinary non-enslaved person. The day is saved!

And now once again, Pet Force prepares to return to their own universe. However... when the spell clears, the five heroes are still standing there. Something is blocking the passage between dimensions, and Pet Force is trapped. And while Pet Force's adventures have taken place between mere moments in their own universe, they have always returned quickly enough that Jon didn't notice a thing. But this time, as Jon retrieves the volleyball and turns around to his pets, he's surprised to find they've all vanished into thin air...

Book 4: Menace of the Mutanator

This one's very striking because of its more painted look compared to the heavy black outlines the rest of the covers have. Does this one count as having the whole team on the cover? Because, spoilers, that's what the Mutanator is: the rest of Pet Force mashed up into a villain. Again, though, that's definitely a striking image that'd draw in readers to a comic cover. In fact, while Garzooka may be over-used as a cover focus, several of these also show him imperiled in some way, and that's nice for character stuff. That helps balace it a bit~

I wanna say, before we start, that I'm impressed by the continuity for the series as a whole. They could've just written each story as a standalone, but for a series of 100-page children's novellas starring Garfield characters as superheroes, things happen in these books. Like, maybe not sweeping status quo changes, but events affect the plot of each next book down the line. And that's where we pick up! Right where the last book left off, with Pet Force now stuck in the alternate universe, unable to return home to Jon. But if they can't go home to Jon, well, maybe then events will conspire to bring Jon to them~

Yep, because Jon happens to wander into the room where they keep the copy of Pet Force #100 that acts as a portal to their universe, he gets transported into the Pet Force universe. And since Emperor Jon is still an extant entity, there's just two Jons now. Jon, of course, is a bit freaked out, and it takes several pages to explain the whole deal to him, and also have a showcase of all their powers to pad out the book some more. Eventually, they decide to call in Sorceror Binky to examine the problem. When he has a go of it, a sudden tornado emerges from the cauldron and whisks away Pet Force--save for Garzooka, whose prodigious strength keeps him anchored.

Garzooka heads out in the Lightspeed Lasagna to track Pet Force's signature, glad to get away from a double trouble Jon. And while he's searching, the scene cuts to Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear. Hey, one of her bases actually lasted more than one book! This is where Pet Force has been transported to, once more in a power-proof cell. Vetvix monologues to the heroes, as she is wont to do, explaining that she's the one who cast the spell to keep them from returning home. And further, she's brought them here to mutate them into her servants.

While Emperor Jon exposits about his backstory (turns out he is not of royal blood, and has about as much legitimate claim to the throne as you or I do), the search continues. Sorceror Binky detects Pet Force, giving them all a view of what happens next. The trapped members of Pet Force are literally broken apart and reassembled: Odious' body, Compooky's brain inserted into the chest, Abnermal's hands, and Starlena's head. She christens this beast "Mutanator", and it is soullessly obedient. I also wanna say, Mutanator's kind of a non-binary icon, aren't they? (The comic uses "it", but it was 1998 and alternative pronouns weren't really a thing yet.) Muscular, masculine body, but confident enough to still wear lipstick. It's a look, is all I'm saying~

Mutanator continues to possess the combined powers of Pet Force as well. Vetvix sends them to attack the planet Armory to gear up before attempting to conquer Polyester. And meanwhile, thanks to the convenience of being able to scan all of Compooky's memories now that his brain is part of Mutanator, Vetvix has the perfect trap to spring on Garzooka--or should she say Garfield. Yes, she really knows the whole origin for Pet Force now, and now she knows all Garfield's weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and probably blood type and other dating profile stats~

Thus, when Garzooka receives the coordinates from Emperor Jon and arrives at the Floating Fortress, he finds himself menaced by giant spiders. Vetvix couldn't think of a way to get Mondays to attack him, so the Giant Spider Invasion will do. Spiders are apparently very formiddable foes, Garzooka's personal fears aside. They can swat gamma hairballs out of the air, they can construct webs as quickly as certain Marvel heroes, and their hairy exoskeletons are resistant to both claw and strength. But despite his fear and Abnermal's running commentary, Garzooka manages to trounce the spiders with a carefully applied flame--taking Vetvix's blueprints with them.

Garzooka heads out once again to track down the Mutanator, leaving his less-than-all-together friends in the safety of their forcefield prison. While he's off, we return to the perspective of his target. Using their combined powers, the Mutanator swiftly conquers the planet Armory and sets their sights on Polyester next. It's not a bad plan, honestly. With the stockpile from Armory, not only will the Mutanator be more powerful, Polyester won't be able to use the planet for backup. Fortunately for the two Jons, though, Garzooka intercepts the Mutanator before they can leave Armory.

The fight's actually pretty good. Very back and forth. But even despite Garzooka's great strength, the Mutanator wins in the end. Thankfully, Vetvix puts her conquest of Polyester on hold to take the time to retrieve Garzooka and add his power to the Mutanator. This, of course will be her undoing--in a completely ridiculous way, of course. For back in the palace, our universe's Jon is watching Pet Force's struggles with the scrying cauldron. And he leans in a bit too close. Sowhile Vetvix is prepping the machine to divide Garzooka's body like she did the rest of Pet Force, Jon suddenly tumbles through the dimensional warp caused by the cauldron and lands on Vetvix, which causes her to put the machine in reverse. A real Jonnus ex cauldrona there, eh?

The Mutanator disappears, their existance as a unique being wiped out as their pieces return to their proper Pet Force owners. With Pet Force reassembled, Garzooka takes out Vetvix with one of his gamma-radiated hairballs while she's distracted by Jon. Pet Force decides that the vile veternarian should have a taste of her own medicine, and stick her in the body-splicing machine with some of her guards. This divides them all up and mixes them into bizarre combinations. It also has the side effect of disabling Vetvix's magic, so they can return to their own universe now.

The book wraps up here. Pet Force first returns to Armory to both return the stolen weapons and also make repairs on the buildings that were damaged in Garzooka's fight with the Mutanator. That's the sort of thing I'd like to see in more superhero stories in general. The two Jons part ways, with the Emperor believing the other Jon's heroism to have been deliberate. And thus are Garfield and friends returned home. And just like the end of their first adventure, where Garfield couldn't be sure if it really happened, so too is Jon's memory fading. Had he really witnessed all that? Only his pets know for sure--and in this universe, they can't talk~

Book 5: Attack of the Lethal Lizards

This one's another wrap-around, showing the rest of Pet Force engaging the remaining Lethal Lizards on the back cover. This is one advantage books have over comics: a front and back cover you can use for your story-telling. The Lizard designs are pretty good for a villain group too. Like Pet Force, they don't adhere to a particular theme, but they do look good individually. Garzooka roasting a hot dog on a stick might be a bit too comedic for a superhero story, though. It sets the tone wrong. How "lethal" can they possibly be if Garzooka is out here roasting hot dogs in the middle of battle?

So here we go, last book. After the usual recap, we open with Jon explaining to Garfield and friends his latest plans: they're going to WackyWorld, a theme park dedicated to Jon's favourite cartoon, The Wackies. Both Garfield and Nermal think the show is lame, and if those two agree on something, you know it must be so. In less lame universes, however, trouble is once more a-brewing. So it turns out Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear has been orbiting the swamp planet Reptilius this whole time. And her various experiments in the last two books have been radiating the planet in magical energy...

From that magical power, three reptiles find themselves uplifted in intelligence and granted fantastic powers. Please say hello to our three main villains for this book: Snake, an enormous snake (the only one without an anthro design) with stretching powers; Chameleon, who can shapeshift; and Dragon, a komodo dragon with fire breath and the bad attitude to match. While Snake and Chameleon figure out their powers, Dragon declares himself the leader as he's clearly the smartest, strongest, and most powerful. They name themselves the Lethal Lizards and start plotting how to rule the planet.

After that exciting intro, though, the book kind of slows down. First we get a whole chapter of Emperor Jon also deciding to go on vacation, to planet Funlandia. With Vetvix out of commission for a while, there's no better time. In short, he's out of the castle and Sorceror Binky is in charge. This is followed by a chapter of Jon and his pets at WackyWorld. It's certainly an accommodating amusement park to allow pets on its grounds. Garfield at least gets along with the food, but if you know anything about amusement park food prices, the amount Garfield eats will make your wallet weep. Jon takes his mind off it by dragging the pets along to a ride. Surely they have to be under the height restriction~

Fortunately, we get back to the actual stars of this book, and we see a bit more of their dynamic. Snake is the sort who sucks up to whoever's calling themselves "Boss" at the moment. Dragon is power-hungry, and it's clear he'll sell out his allies at the drop of a hat. Chameleon is Starscream. Anyway, they trek through the jungles of Reptilius until they find a downed spaceship. Reviewing the logs reveals it was a scout ship from Vetvix, and they also learn of Vetvix and her mission. However, they don't know where Emperor Jon lives, so they crowd into the the newly christened Rapacious Reptile and set course for the stars.

The first planet they come across is a world called Klod. Quickly the Lethal Lizards beat up the populace and find the local government. Chameleon shapeshifts into a dignitary, pretending to be an advance entourage for Emperor Jon, schmoozing with the governor until he learns both what Jon looks like and the name of his planet. With this information secure, Chameleon nips out suddenly, and the trio sets forth towards Polyester. Governer Klutz calls up the palace as soon as the reptiles depart, and reports the incident to Sorceror Binky.

Binky wastes no time, and he dials up Pet Force. Since all five are in one place, he's able to pull them through even without them being near the gateway through issue #100's cover. Convenient! Pet Force, however, does waste time, as a lengthy comedy scene eats up several pages before we just get on with it. Eventually, the situation is conveyed, and they figure it's safer to keep Emperor Jon on Funlandia for the time being. Compooky stays behind to help plan some strategies, while the rest of Pet Force boards the Lightspeed Lasagna to intercept the Lethal Lizards before they even arrive.

Pet Force spends the next few minutes both scanning for incoming ships and bickering with each other, so I'm very glad when the Rapacious Reptile appears on their detectors before too long. Dragon threatens the ship, telling them to move or he'll knock them aside. It's a spaceship, dude, you can move in three dimensions. The ships trade shots, and while Chameleon's piloting is actually pretty good due to his independently-rotating eyeballs, eventually both ships crash land on whatever planet is nearby.

Both ships crash right next to each other, which is improbable but less ridiculous than some of the contrivances in these books, so I'm okay with it. Now you'd think what with the enemies being reptiles and Abnermal having freezing powers that this battle would be over really easily, but no. In fact, Garzooka and Dragon are pretty evenly matched. Snake turns out to be immune to Starlena's siren song because snakes don't have external ears. See, now there's a contrivance I find a bit weird. Snake swallows Abnermal whole, and Chameleon and Odious get literally tongue-tied. The Lethal Lizards actually live up to their name pretty well.

As the fight continues, half of both sides are laid out when Compooky comes rushing up, saying he has an urgent message from the emperor. And that's when he sucker-punches the team. It was actually Chameleon in disguise, having gotten knocked away when he and Odious separated. So yeah, round one goes to the Lizards, and they make their escape first. Pet Force regroups, and they give chase. The Lizards have enough head start to really lay siege to Polyester before Pet Force arrives, though. They even get access to the palace using Chameleon's shapeshifting, leading to Sorceror Binky letting slip the real location of the emperor just as Pet Force arrives.

Another fight ensues--see, now it's really a superhero story--and the Lizards leave again 2 and 0. This time Snake uses his venomous fangs to attack Starlena. This leads to the weirdest contrivance yet. Maybe not the worst, but definitely the weirdest. They have only minutes to save Starlena. So how do they do it? Well, they notice that Odious drools quite a lot. It's very "fluid output". So they have Binky magically reverse Odious' drooling, so that he has "fluid input" on his tongue instead. It becomes a big suction sponge and sucks the poison out of Starlena. They then restore the drooling, and he just harmlessly drools out the poison. What.

With their teammate saved, Pet Force pursues the Lethal Lizards to Funlandia. They get there just in time to rescue Emperor Jon from their clutches, with Garzooka and Odious combining their strength to literally rip a kiddie ride out of the ground. Starlena corners Chameleon in a hall of mirrors, turning his own trick against him. Snake is undone by Odious' strength. And Garzooka fights Dragon to a standstill, finally trapping all three on a roller coaster still operating. When the ride comes to an end, Abnermal freezes them all until the authorities can retrieve them.

Naturally, Emperor Jon thinks it's all part of the show (because Jon is dimwitted in any universe). The Lizards are sent to a lizard-proof prison (seriously, it specifies this), and Pet Force returns to their own universe. As usual, Jon didn't notice his pets go missing during the dark amusement park ride. The book concludes on an ominous note, however, as the ship carrying the Lethal Lizards makes its jump to lightspeed just as it passes the Floating Fortress of Fear. The shockwave knocks over some debris that reactivates the combining machine, restoring Vetvix to her full evil might once more!

The end!

No, really. Those five books are all there was. I hear it may have continued into the comics, but I don’t know how accurate that is. I didn’t really look into it.

But boy, what a ride, huh? Let’s dissect the books one at a time, since it only seems fair to take them as individual stories.

The Outrageous Origin: It’s a fairly basic origin story, I’d say. It kind of has to be. I guess my main gripe is that, like Rita Repulsa’s entire run on Power Rangers, the heroes never fight the main villain directly. In fact, there’s barely even an evil plot in this one. You have henchmen and some traps, and that’s about it for the menace.

Pie-Rat’s Revenge: A cautionary tale about why you treat your minions with respect. This one’s pretty good, but the events depicted on the cover make up such a small part of the book. Wouldn’t it have been more fun if Garzooka was turned at the beginning of the story? Book 4 would at least do the reverse of that, so it’s not a major complaint~

K-Niner, Dog of Doom: I think this one’s about as middle of the road as you can get. What a coincidence that it’s also the middle of the series! Like I said in the recap portion, it’s a shame that Pie-Rat’s story ended here. This one definitely feels more “villain of the week” than most.

Menace of the Mutanator: This one might be the best book in the series. Garzooka, alone, battling against the best parts of his team? That’s gripping stuff. I guess the main problem is that the Mutanator isn’t really a character in and of themselves. Like, K-Niner, he may have been a generic rent-a-villain type, but he had a personality. Mutanator is little more than an extention of Vetvix’s will.

Attack of the Lethal Lizards: I’m a bit split on this one. The bits with the titular Lizards are great. They steal the show! But the parts where it focuses on either Jon kind of drag, and Pet Force is a bit too jokey here. Like, I get the point is that they’ve relaxed into their roles now, and there’s not much point of doing it as a Garfield story if they don’t actually use the character personalities, but... I dunno. It’s good, but it could have been better~

And that’s it! Like, I dunno how to wrap this up. Pet Force was neither my first exposure to superheroes nor my first introduction to the Garfield brand (you can thank Saturday morning cartoons for both of those). But for some reason, maybe just the absurdly goofy premise, it always kinda stuck with me. And I think that’s a good enough reason to make it my 10th anniversary review, don’t you~?

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 19: Debridement

Characters: Captain Logan “Sy” Syverson, Shane Benton (OFC), various other original supporting/secondary characters

Summary: Shane begins to process life after her trauma, and Sy delivers the news of her safety to the people that matter most to her…but there is pushback on a few aspects of his report.

Romance and Smut Abound HERE!

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Mostly fluff, but with mention of Shane’s trauma in the cellar. Not graphic. 

Author’s Note: My darling readers! Thank you so much for your patience as I deal with seasonal stress, fatigue, anxiety, and some depression. It was my goal to have all chapters of this story done by the end of this year. I don’t think I’ll accomplish it, but I’ll do my very best to get at least one more chapter up by the 31st. 2020 has been a totally shit year, but I will forever owe it some remarkable things. This story, which has been an amazing escape from real life, the friends I’ve made from all over my country and the world, many of them because of this story, and a long overdue shift in my work hours starting next week. I’ll be glad to see the back of it, but the year has really opened me up to new ideas and some major soul-searching. I think, mentally, I’m actually more myself than I’ve ever been, despite some blue times. You can all take some credit for that improvement, because many of my moments of clarity have arisen from brilliant and profound posts here.

The title of this chapter seemed appropriate for a few reasons. Wounds are cleaned and cleared of damaged tissue during debridement. This is one of the steps usually required for a large and/or traumatic wound to heal. We see Shane beginning this process here in this chapter, and in a sense, Sy, as well. The cleansing of Shane in both the literal and figurative sense was so interesting and satisfying to write. And Sy’s bit at the end was a fun puzzle in which I had to figure out how to have Sy give the same news to four different recipients without sounding repetitive. I hope that landed, and if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. This is an original work by me, Hannah. Please reblog if you wish to share. Please do not repost either in whole or part, as the work of anyone but myself. Thanks so much for reading!

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If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Shane still felt as if her head was floating above her body, like a balloon on a long string. The combination of meds in her system had helped many of her symptoms. The pain she felt, the physical pain, had been alleviated. Her troubled mind had been put at ease, more or less. But that was a long time ago. And unfortunately, the side effects weren't wearing off at the rapid rate of the intended ones.

As she sat in the SUV--the escape vehicle-- parked outside a large building the size of a small airplane hangar, she tried not to think about what Sy and his pals were discussing just outside the vehicle. She tried not to reflect on the past few days that she had convinced herself would be her last. She tried not to think about what -- or, really, who -- was inside that building.

She thought about seeing Elliott again. The man who had planned to kill her, and almost succeeded. A part of her wished he had, because she wasn't sure she knew who she was anymore. She was a stranger to herself. And living like this seemed so much more difficult than a quick painless death. She couldn't bear the thought of being in view of him.

But another part of her wanted to go in there and end his life herself. That part of her could pull the trigger on a gun aimed at his head. That part of her could bury a knife in his kidney, or sever an artery. Her anatomy and physiology courses could serve her well here. She had dangerous knowledge. Maybe that's why doctors often seem so full of themselves. They possess the knowledge to end life, and yet they choose to save it. It sort of puts things into perspective. Maybe they're justified in their hubris.

Still one more part simply wanted to go home, clean up, and lay naked in her soft sheets with Sy wrapped around her. Warmer and more comforting than any blanket had ever been. She had remembered missing him so much. She thought now about his gentle, loving hands on her, his mouth tasting her so delicately, his…

But then her mind was ripped from the sensual thoughts of Sy and back to her horrific memories from that cellar. The hands of strangers, rough and hateful, their mouths full of words like bile or the grunts of their own violent fulfillment.

Her nightmare of a daydream was abruptly interrupted by the opening of the back passenger door. She jumped, and looked at the source of the noise with wide-eyed terror. It was only Sy, but she couldn't school her face into a softer expression, even after realizing she was safe.

"Oh, Sunshine, I'm so sorry I startled ya! You okay?"

She said nothing, just let out her held breath woefully.

"Let's head home. I'll get your purse and bag of clothes here."

"I don't want those clothes. Throw them away. And these shoes are going in the trash as soon as possible, too."

"Okay. I'll toss it. You sure?"

"I never want to see that bag again. I'm positive."

He nodded, grabbed her purse, and went around to help her out of the vehicle.

One of Sy's friends approached them from the building.

"You guys okay? You'll make it home alright?"

"Yeah, Matt, we'll be okay. I'll be in touch soon about next steps."

"You got it, Captain. Anything you need, let us know."

"Will do. Thanks for everything you've already done. I owe ya."

"You don't owe me a thing, brother. You don't owe any of us. Not after everything you've done for all of us…for everyone."

Sy just nodded at Matt, and turned toward his truck, steadying Shane all the way to the passenger door.

The drive to Shane's house was quiet. Sy kept one hand on the wheel, holding hers in the other. She felt safe, but she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling inside her. Like the other shoe would soon drop, and her love would be taken away again.

When they were safely parked in her driveway, Sy took her keys out of his pocket, apparently having gotten them from his friend who'd drove her car from Elliott's to the airplane hangar place. He walked around to get her, and helped her to her door. She kicked off her shoes immediately when she stepped inside her shadowy living room. She had left the same lamp on that she always did, but it was dimmer now, having been on almost a whole week.

"Bath?" Sy asked. Shane nodded slowly. She would need a long soak to erase this feeling.

Sy got the bath water ready while she found some clothes to put on after. She laid her comfiest lounge pants and her favorite sweat shirt on the bed and walked toward the bathroom. She was soon hit with the comforting aroma of lavender, chamomile, and vanilla as soon as she stepped through the doorway. He had used her favorite bubble bath and salts.

"Check that water temp. I think it's about right." he requested. It was perfect. She started to peel off the stiff paper scrubs she was still wearing, but he insisted on helping her. As she stood before him, even though he'd seen every inch of her body before, she felt more naked and exposed than ever. She looked at him, noticed tears welling in his eyes, and dropped her gaze to the bath mat under her feet. Her skin, typically immaculately clear, olive perfection, was now peppered with dozens of bruises. She felt like a dalmatian, covered in spots. She chuckled inside herself at the thought of one of her favorite Disney films featuring the breed most heavily.

Sy's strong, but gentle hands landed softly on her upper arms. His lips lit tenderly on her forehead. "Ready?" he asked. She nodded and stepped into the large, garden tub full of steaming water. It stung her feet, ankles, and calves, but she still bent to sit, wincing as her tender petals and behind met the medicinal broth. Sy held her hand as she stepped in and guided her down. She closed her eyes at the soothing pain of the hot water and did not open them until she felt the water level rise. Sy had stepped in with her, wearing just his boxer-briefs, and was sitting on the side of the tub. He reached for the hand shower, and turned the water back on, slightly less warm, but still soothing and soaked her hair, directing the water away from her face. He had thought to grab her shampoo from the shower, as well, and was lathering some up in his hands to apply to her wet strands. It felt like heaven to have his fingers in her hair like this. Relaxing and soporific. He kept at it until she was certain he must be getting pruney, not to mention tired.

After carefully rinsing her hair of the coconut-scented lather, he grabbed the lavender foam bath she loved, and worked it up in one of the wash cloths he'd brought from the linen caddy between the sink and shower. He massaged the suds into her tired and injured skin over her back, then requested each leg in turn, kneading her calves and feet as she took another of the cloths and washed her face with the rich cleanser she kept by the bath, typically using it only on her "spa days" but feeling that it would nourish her battered cheeks and nose better than anything else. Sy's ministrations filled her with a kind of blissful contentment. She couldn't help but wonder if she deserved him. She always had thought she deserved the best things in life, even though her romantic past didn't tend to pan out that way. She'd worked very hard and often allowed herself to invest in quality. But now…she felt broken, in spite of herself. She'd have to tell Sy all that happened to her one day, and when that day came, he'd probably realize how damaged she really was, and he'd leave. Just like everyone else always did. She knew the conversation needed to come sooner rather than later, but couldn't bring herself to break the spell yet.

Sy let her soak for as long as she was comfortable until the water grew tepid. She looked up to him, sitting on the side of the tub, legs now outside, his gaze like twin seas met hers. He had been watching her, it seemed. As if worried that she would dematerialize if he looked away. Her bath robe was draped across his lap, as was a large bath towel. She moved to stand from the now chilled bath water, and Sy was immediately up to aid her rising. He held her hand as she stepped out of the tub and dried her top half before helping her don the robe, then continued to dry her bottom half.

"Go on in there and get comfortable, Sunshine. I have a few phone calls to make. I wanna let your folks know you're okay and I wanna tell Detective Clarkson you've been found. Anyone else you want me to get in touch with?"

"Umm, do you know if my brother and sister know what's happened to me?"

"They do. They should both be at your parent's house by now from what I gathered when I visited."

"Okay, so mom or dad will let them know. I guess you should call Susan, and let her know that I'm alive but won't be in this week. On my fridge, there's a phone directory for everyone in my department. But first, call Heather. I don't want her to worry any longer. Call her right after mom and dad. And tell them all I'll have them over tomorrow, but I can't tonight. I'm…"

She didn't even know what she was. Tired, sore, depressed, hopeless, and angry. A combination of so many feelings and emotions coursed through her.

"I'll work it out. You get in bed, and I'll be back in when I'm done with these calls, okay?" she nodded. He continued, "I love you, darlin.'" and wrapped his arms around her, making her feel almost whole again.

"I love you." she replied. Holding back tears until he had left the room.

~~~~~~

Shane realized she hadn't brushed her teeth in…far too long. She donned her sleeping clothes and went into the bathroom again to complete a comprehensive oral hygiene routine.  Sy had been gone for about a half hour, during which time, his absence felt like a noose around her neck. Or an anvil on her chest. It made it feel like hours had passed rather than mere minutes. She was fidgety. When he finally re-entered, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you need anything, sweet pea?"

"Just you."

Sy crawled under the covers with Shane to spoon her, arm laying over her rib cage. She winced, as the bruises on her torso were disturbed at the contact, but she didn't ask him to adjust. Despite the dull pain, this was what she needed. Sy's protecting arm around her.

"Did you get a hold of everyone?" She asked, sleepily.

"I did. Your family are eager to see you, but they understand your need for rest. Heather says that you better let her come over soon, because she's holding your phone hostage until you pay her in hugs. They all send their love."

"And Susan?"

"Yeah, that woman is a piece of work, I know, but I think she's going to come through for you. She's going to have them hold off on scheduling patients with you until you're better, and put both weeks in as vacation. She said you have plenty of it. But also, if you need more time, she can work out some…family medical leave…thing? She said she'd get the ball rolling on that, and will let you know what you need to do on your end."

"Oh, good. Yeah, she can be an asshole, but sometimes she does right by her employees. What about the detective?"

Sy paused there. "I, uh, I talked to him for quite a while and he said a lot of things. Let's go over the finer points tomorrow at breakfast. Or, rather, today." He said, looking at the blue numbers on the glowing digital clock on Shane's nightstand that indicated the wee hours of the morning were running out. "I'm sure we're both tired enough to grab a few winks, ain't we?" He asked, and she hummed her ascent as she tucked herself closer to his warm, monolithic chest.

As Shane drifted off, she thought she felt a warm kiss, and a whisper at her temple. It sounded like a tearful prayer. She was too far into her sleep to comprehend the words being said.

"Thank you God," Sy whispered. "I know I'm not your most faithful servant, but I am truly grateful that you've kept this treasure of mine alive and brought her back to me. Thank you for reuniting me with the woman I mean to spend the rest of my days with, if she'll agree to it. Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About Thirty Minutes Ago-

Sy left the bedroom and began scrolling through his phone for the Benton's number. He pressed the call button with joy.

"Sy?" John answered frantically, just as he did the first time Sy spoke to him.

"John, is everyone there?"

"Yeah, we're all just watching a movie in the family room. Do you have news?"

"I do. You may want to put me on speaker, because everybody's going to want to hear this."

"Okay." and after a brief struggle with the speaker button and help from two younger people Sy presumed were Ethan and Gabby, John was back with the whole family. "Okay, Sy, we can all hear you. What's the word?"

"Oh, it's a very good word, guys. I found Shane and she is alive, and now safe." Cheering from what sounded like a stadium full of fanatics resounded from the ear piece of his cell phone.

"Sy, this is Gabby, Shane's sister. Can we come see her now?" Gabby's tears were evident in her voice. He wished he could tell them yes. But Shane needed her rest.

"I know she would love to see you, Gabby, she'd love to see all of you, but I think what she needs right now is rest. She's been through…a terrible ordeal. I took her to the Emergency Room to get checked out, and she just had a bath and is about to go to bed. She'll want to see you all tomorrow, though. Maybe around lunch time?"

"That sounds good, Sy. We'll bring some of this food over." John said.

"Are you sure we can't come over tonight? I…I want to see my daughter with my own eyes." Margaret said, weepily.

"I truly wish I could tell you yes, Peg, but she's hardly slept the last week, and just had her first full meal since she was taken this evening at the hospital. I really think it's best for everyone if you guys wait until tomorrow when she's more herself and rested." Sy reiterated.

"What about the people who did this to her?" a male voice he didn't recognize asked, assured to be Ethan. "Any leads on them?" He wanted to tell them that most of the men had been dealt with using lethal or nearly lethal force, and that the perpetrator of Shane's misery was locked up in Matt's shop bathroom until they decided just how to take care of him. But he needed to disclose what he knew to as few people as possible.

"The less y'all know, the better. For your own good. At least right now. Just know that whatever justice has not yet been served, it will be very soon."

"That's good enough for me." John offered, in an apparent attempt to bring Ethan on side.

"Thanks, John. I'll take care of her tonight. I won't leave her side. I promise."

"Thank you, son." John replied. Sy appreciated the tender address, but wondered how Ethan felt about his father referring to someone else as his son. Probably not that great. He couldn't worry about that now.

"It's my sincerest pleasure. I want you to know that. She's my world now. I won't let anything else happen to her."

"We know, dear." Peg added.

"Good night. And we'll see y'all tomorrow."

Four incoherent replies rang out before he ended the call. Next was Heather.

"Hello?" she answered in sleepy confusion.

"Heather?"

"Who'sis?"

"It's Logan Syverson. Sy? From PT. Shane's boyfriend."

"Sy! Oh, it's good to hear from you! Any news?"

"The best news, darlin.' Our girl is alive, and home safe." he smiled ear to ear saying the words, but it quickly turned into a wince when Heather shouted for joy in his ear. It was fine. Not like he didn't already have mild tinnitus.

"Oh my GOD! I'm coming over right now!"

"No, Heather, she's resting. She told me she'll see people tomorrow, but I don't think anyone but you and her family should be allowed in right now. She's…well, she's been through seven levels of Hell, and when I look into her eyes, I can still see the fire."

"Shit. Anything I can do?"

"She'll be thrilled to see ya. But tomorrow."

"She better. I have her phone and the ransom is a thousand hugs."

"That's a steep debt." Sy chuckled.

"She can owe me for a while." Heather laughed. "Is she okay?"

What a loaded question. Physically, she was injured, but would heal. Emotionally, that would be more of a journey.

"Honestly, Heather? Not really. The physical stuff is more or less superficial, but…I'm worried about her mental state."

"Poor thing. Please let me know if I can do anything. Anything at all. She's like a sister to me."

"I will. For now, keep the news and the details quiet. I'm gonna call Susan next, and I don't think she'll like it if you know before she does. Just a hunch."

"An accurate one. She'd be furious. I'll keep mum. Thanks so much for putting my mind at ease, Sy. Take care of her."

"I'll do my best. See ya."

He was dreading talking to Susan the most. More than Clarkson. He couldn't quite pinpoint why, but she'd really pissed him off every other time he'd talked to her, and he really didn't think too much of her.

"Hello, this is Susan."

"Hey, Susan, it's Logan Syverson. Shane's boyfriend." He made sure to put the label in there. Remind her that her policy had not been enough to keep them apart.

"Mr. Syverson. Hello. What can I do for you?" her haughty tone was softened a measure with concern for her employee. Even though she didn't ask about her in so many words, he knew that she was wondering.

"Nothing. I just wanted to let ya know, Shane's okay. She's been hurt, and won't be in this coming week, at least. She's in some pain right now, of both a physical and emotional nature."

"What happened?"

"She, uh, hasn't given me a lot of details." Not a lie. "She just escaped from her captor and we found each other." Misleading, but mostly true. "We just got home from the ER." Perhaps a lie by omission of the stop off at Matt's. "They said she'd be okay, but to follow up with her primary for more tests."

"Okay, I'll make sure her schedule is cleared. She has plenty of PTO for these two weeks, but I'll call the FMLA office in charge of family medical leave and short term disability and let them know she'll need some more time off, and see if we can get that going. I'll get with her about the details, and what she'll need to do. I'll text her sometime this week. How's she doing?" Sy thought he heard genuine concern from this dragon woman.

"About as well as someone who's been kidnapped, tortured, and assaulted for a straight week can possibly be, I'd say." Sy's words were civil, but tinged with venom. Even though she was being decent right now, he knew the kind of person she could be.

"Dear God." Susan gasped, shocked at the statement, and Sy wasn't sure whether it was due to the events themselves, or the blunt way he'd told her about them. "Well, I'll do anything I can to help her though this on my end. She's one of my best. I can't…I really don't think I could replace her."

"I'm glad you don't have to try, Susan. Have a nice evenin.'"

"Thanks, Sy, you too."

Sy took a deep breath as he pulled up Clarkson's number and called him. He honestly wasn't completely certain how he was going to explain things, but he'd figure it out. He was good at flyin' by the seat of his pants.

A gruff voice came from the ear piece. "Clarkson."

"Detective, this is Captain Syverson. We spoke about the Benton case a few days ago?"

"I remember you, Sy. What's up?"

"Oh, uh, well, wanted to tell ya you could close the case. I found her." It was the coming conversation in which he would really have to bend the truth or lie altogether.

"Really?! Oh, that's great, man. Where'd ya find 'er."

"I's drivin' 'round, hopin' to come across some lead or sign of her. I was a few miles down highway 100 when I saw a slumped form in one of the ditches. I pulled off at the next drive and went back to check, and it was her. She was hurt, but once she recognized me…I dunno, everything's kind of a blur after that. But I got her checked out at the ER, and brought her home now." Most of that statement was false…but not the recount of them seeing each other for the first time. That was a very real and true fact.

"Highway 100?"

"That's right. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I heard about a terrible, two-vehicle accident on Highway D tonight. No survivors."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." He wasn't. "I hope there weren't any kids involved." He knew there weren't.

"Nope. All adult males, aged 30-40. Couple of SUVs. One ran off the road, and another…well, it's almost like it was blown up on purpose. Happened just a few miles from town."

"That sounds horrible, but what does an accident on Highway E--"

"It was D. Highway D." Sy knew it was, and had said the wrong thing on purpose.

"My mistake. My question though, is what does that…tragedy have to do with my finding Shane on Highway 100?"

"That's what I'm wondering, myself, Syverson. See, there was some…evidence that suggests military involvement in this incident."

"Well, I'm retired."

"Are you though?  Is anyone ever really retired from the armed forces. No veteran I've ever talked to can seem to shake off the war shackles."

"Well, I ain't shackeled, detective. I'm proud of my time serving my country, but I got no cause to relive it or hang on to it. Especially now that I have Shane. She's my life now. That part of it’s over."

"I guess I have to take you at your word, captain. Got no evidence so far that ties you to the scene. Just…be careful. If you do anything retaliatory to Miss Benton's captor or captors, I won't be able to protect you, no matter how I feel about your actions. Or how justified they might be."

"Understood. I will keep that in mind should I decide to take matters into my own hands." he tried not to let the smile on his face show in his voice.

"Right, well…is she okay?"

"I, uh…I think she will be…eventually. She hasn't said much to me about what happened, but I know it was torture, or akin to it. "

"Well, I hope she recovers quickly. I'll want a statement from her before I close the case."

"Sure thing. As soon as she's ready to talk."

"Great. Thanks for the call, Sy. I'm glad she's safe now. That's all that matters, really."

"Agree. Have a good night, Clarkson."

He ended the call and rubbed his face as head in frustration with his free hand. They'd have to come up with a story. A good one. Close enough to the truth that Shane could feel comfortable telling it, but far enough of a departure that they weren't incriminated in any kidnapping, murder, or manslaughter charges.

But for tonight, they’d rest. And just be glad to be together again.

Up Next: Chapter 20-Second Assist

[modern-inheritance]

Modern Inheritance: The Promise

(A/N: Way way WAAAAY Pre-Eragon. It’s rough and a majority of it was lurking in my drive folder for weeks. I wanted MIC!Brom and MIC!Arya interacting alone (aka without Izzy hovering and smothering Arya’s personality) together for the first time. The ending is shit and makes no sense, but I literally just wrote it and I’m having a hard time switching off the Japanese sentence structures (Japanese Sub-Obj-Verb vs English SVO) and whatnot and it’s just…a to-be-cleaned-later mess. But y’all gettin’ it anyway!!

Oh, also. I wanted Post-Fall Brom to be an angry jackass. Donno if that came across enough.)

{Secondary A/N: Ever go back read your stuff and thing ‘damn that feels clunky?’ Posting all these to the new side blog has me really thinking that way too often. As I’m literally doing this as a way to avoid an end of semester presentation project, I don’t have time to rewrite at the moment, but maybe one day....} 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re leaving already?”

Brom’s head snapped back, eyes narrowed as he searched the trees for the source of the voice. So the person– or thing, as you could never be sure in the heart of Du Weldonvarden– that had been following him for the past week was finally ready to reveal itself.

Keen as he was, the Rider couldn’t pick out his second shadow from the mottled greens and browns above. They seemed content for him to answer before speaking again.

No way around it then. Brom shifted his pack on his shoulders, and dropped a hand to the pommel of his borrowed sword. His pistol and rifle were dismantled in their cases tied to his backpack, a precaution Oromis and Glaedr had insisted on ever since their former student nearly attacked Rhunön more than a decade ago. “I have things to do.”

“Well, yeah.” There was the scuff of dried outer bark crackling as it was compressed. Brom whirled to the sound, blade halfway out of its sheath before he stayed his hand, now more annoyed than ever. “But it’s not like you’re finished here, are you?”

Crouched upside down with her bare feet planted on the bottom of a pine branch and fingertips digging into the bark, was an elf. She cocked her head at him, dark hair waving as she observed his nearly threatening stance and foot of naked steel that was still exposed at his side.

And she gave him a sly smirk.

“Are you going to draw on me, ebrithil shur’tugal?”

Brom felt his blood pressure jolt up several levels. “What do you want? Either say your piece or go away. I don’t have time for this.” He slammed his sword back into the sheath, locking the hilt in place.

“Fine, fine.” The elf let go of the branch and twisted in the air, landing deftly on her feet. “I wanted to talk to you but couldn’t with everyone else around.”

He wanted to say that the time for talk was over. That he was done playing politics in this damned forest and he was going to back to fix the problems the elves had abandoned when they retreated there.

But his voice died in his throat as the elf came closer. No, not a full grown elf. An elfling, a child. He could see the faint silver of her skin now that she was not haloed by the dappled sunlight dripping down the tree.  

She bowed slightly, hand twisted over her heart in the elvish greeting before straightening and hesitantly held out her hand, almost appearing unfamiliar with the second gesture. “Stars watch over you. I’m–”

“Oh, I know exactly who you are, girl.” Brom ignored the offered hand and stepped around the elfling. Now that she was on the ground, she didn’t even reach his shoulder. “Does your mother know you’re here?”

There was a sudden snap in the air. Brom felt the hair on the back of his neck rise but refused to turn as the girl jogged to his side, obviously piqued. So she was still young enough to be bleeding uncontrolled magic into the world. “I was going to say, I’m Arya and my mother is not me and does not get to introduce me.” There was venom in her tone, something that the Rider had honestly not expected. What he had seen of Arya before was only a glimpse, usually several strides behind the Queen and watching the goings on quietly with wide, dark eyes. “And I want to talk to you.”

“Go home.”

“No. I’m not letting you leave without talking to me.”

“We’ve talked. A conversation with several back and forth utterances has taken place. You can go.”

“Master Glaedr was right about you. Look, just take me with you.”

Brom stopped. Now that was something he had not expected. The request, that is, not the comment about Glaedr. He turned slightly, one eyebrow raised in question. “What?”

“You heard me.” Arya crossed her arms, firmed her stance and glared at him with brilliant fire in her dark green eyes. “Take me with you.”

For a moment, Brom saw Evandar again. The elvish king’s rage at Galbatorix’s mindless slaughter of the dragons and innocents was something that was not easily forgotten.

For the briefest flicker of time, Brom saw that rage again, barely contained within the small, half grown elfling planted defiantly before him. It was simmering just beneath the surface, threaded through with the innate defiance of youth and stubbornness that all but screamed Islanzadi’s name.

There was conviction there as well. That, it seemed, was Arya’s claim alone.

He turned to face her fully. “You want to go out there and fight?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m sick of hearing about people dying.” Despite having to tilt her head back to keep steady eye contact with the Rider, Arya stepped forward into Brom’s personal space. “It’s time someone in this forest did something to fix the problems we brought about instead of moaning about the how Golden Age is gone while people out there die! So make no mistake, ebrithil shur’tugal. I’m going to help you stop this war so that no one else has to die for it.

“I’m going to help kill the Forsworn and Galbatorix, and help to end this war.”

Unlike any other who could have heard them, Brom did not laugh at the young elf’s words. He searched her face, letting the ring of the bond in her last statement, forged in her switch the Ancient Language, cool in the air. In all that time Arya did not flinch. She did not back down nor show any flicker of doubt on her face or in her eyes.

The elfing still did not move when Brom nodded slowly and rubbed at the stubble that patched his face. “Alright then. Seeing as how you just royally screwed yourself at…what, eight years old?”

Another snap of static flicked the air, this time pinging Brom on the neck as Arya’s eyes flashed. “I’m twelve.”

“Right, right. Royally screwed yourself and your entire life by magically forcing yourself to join a war and probably get yourself killed, then fine.” Brom put his finger up to halt the growing excitement he could see rising in the little elf. “But. Not now. Give it a few years. Ten, maybe twenty or so…and I’ll see if you’re ready to start working on your promise.”

The near feral grin that split Arya’s face startled him. This was something he had not seen before in Islanzadi nor Evandar. The wild, vibrant spirit waiting to be unleashed on the world was all Arya’s own. He shook hands with the elfling to seal their agreement.

“Tell the Forsworn I’m coming for them, yeah?”

Brom grinned despite himself. He knew that the girl had likely signed her own death warrant this day. But something about that half crazed smile she wore told him otherwise.

[capsized-heart]

Lady Liberty and The Captain / Part One

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (1940′s Brooklyn AU)

Summary: You are a rising young star and the newest breakout actress in Hollywood’s Golden Age! When war finally descends on the west, your reputation as America’s Sweetheart finds you cast in a promotional picture alongside Captain America himself.

Yet, he looks eerily familiar, like your Stevie from childhood…

Word count: 4.7k+

Warnings: fluff!!

A/N: hello, everyone!!!! I hope you’re staying home, warm, and safe during these crazy times. I’ve been snuggling with my doggie and continuing with my university’s online classes in my final semester..absolutely crazy how things are rn. I hope this new story can help brighten up your day just a little bit.

First of all, I just want to say thank you💖💛for all the love that old and new readers alike have shown this blog recently. I’ve been writing on this platform for a little less than a year and I never thought l’incendie would blow up as much as it has. You guys are amazing. I’m really excited and eager to share new pieces and hope you enjoy the content I have coming! Please don’t hesitate to pop in and say hi, or shoot me a message. I’ve really enjoyed connecting with readers and would love to know your thoughts on my fics, or just to talk about fandom stuff! Timmy included! PAHAHA

So, this chapter is gonna be a part of a mini-series for a 1940′s writing challenge and I’m using the prompt of wartime romance! This will probably be split into two or three parts and I will tag the host as soon as the last chapter goes up, I’ll most likely make a masterlist in the end as well. Reader has a name in this fic, but hopefully the choice of name will make sense later on :D

As always, feel free to drop a ask/message if you’d like a tag in the next update.

ENJOY!

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Film: ‘Apple of Discord’, Lola Swanson’s Dazzling Debut! 

By NICHOLAS WATTS                                                                                                                      September 1, 1943

----------

The film drama from the original screenplay written and directed by Andrew Campbell opened to a roar of applause and acclaim at the Radio City Music Hall yesterday evening. Apple of Discord is a reimagining of the myth and Plato’s allegory, focusing on the tumultuous, profoundly elegant life of a young noblewoman during the Trojan wars.  

The film’s frontrunner and leading lady is Hollywood newcomer, young and fresh-faced Lola Swanson. Swanson’s performance is so thoughtful, so unfaltering, so intelligent and controlled that it is hard to believe this is little Lola’s long awaited motion picture debut. And what a debut this is! 

Starring opposite Hollywood veterans Sean Schultz, Kash Dennis, and Gracie Smith, this star-studded cast packs punches and sizzling chemistry and yet, Swanson does not fizzle out but confidently holds her own, demanding your attention in every scene, and rightfully so. Watching Swanson in this picture is watching a major actress in the making. 

Born and raised in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen before moving to Brooklyn to pursue acting, some may recognize Lola from her daytime television roles in Insanity and Passion, It’s a Date! and as Jessica in Jessica Davis Returns.

Now we know these roles were preparing Swanson for the debut of the decade.   

“APPLE OF DISCORD” is now showing at the Radio City Music Hall and Cinema 2. Tickets at 25 cents. Running time: 139 minutes.

★★★★☆

——

APPLE OF DISCORD, written and directed by Andrew Campbell; director of photography, Laszlo Kovacs; edited by John Wright; music by John Barry; released by Universal Pictures.

----------

The newspaper trembles hard between your fingers, threatening to tear its edges. Pulse pounding, ears ringing. You can’t stop smiling. You feel like crying. 

You reread the words again and again, the words written by legendary film critic Nicholas Watts, the man you’ve only dreamed of making an impression on, that he’d someday see you in a picture. And here he’s written a glowing review of your major motion picture debut. 

You erupt in a fit of giggles and screams, twirling around the small space of your apartment in a swirl of nightgown, pinned curls. A neighbor, Mr. Krisinski, you think, pounds on your wall to shut you up. 

It’s still early morning and you had gone downstairs at first light to buy a paper from a newsboy. Outside your window, the streets of New York already yawn and bustle with morning commute. The movement of people, gleaming automobiles against the red brick buildings and muted gray of Manhattan. Warm sun washes over it all, your heart brimming and full, mirroring the glow of golden dawn. 

You feel on top of the world. Maybe you’ll finally make it here.

Your phone rings. You rush over to the mint blue rotary telephone on your bedside table, snatch up the receiver before Mr. Krisinski can break down your door with all the racket you’re making.

“Hello?” You say into the mouthpiece, cradling it between your hands. You feel breathless, high strung and buzzing, like you’d just downed a whole case of Coca-Cola, whirring with the taste of sugar and success, bubbling with starpower. Maybe it’s Kash or Gracie calling to congratulate you. Hell, maybe even President Roosevelt.

“Lola! It’s me. Have you read the paper?” The cool voice of Peggy asks you through the receiver. You quietly laugh at your own fantastical expectations. Of course it’s Peggy. Punctual, collected Peggy. 

Peggy Carter is your talent agent and manager at MGM. Peggy had snatched you up while you had been working as a background actress on Michael Curtiz’s Casablanca, so hopeful and beholden just to be in the presence of such respected artists, willing to stay the extra hours even after the other girls had gone home when realizing they wouldn’t be seen in the shot. It hadn’t been your first time on a hot set, you were used to the itchy costumes, long hours of endless waiting, and the empty stomachs, but no way you were going to miss a chance to see Ingrid Bergman and Madeleine LeBeau up close. 

Back then, only a few years ago yet a lifetime away it seems, Peggy had been a casting assistant, seeing your dedication and marching right up to you between takes to hand you her card. On the back, written in smooth blue ink, a time the next morning for an audition at MGM Studios in downtown New York. Eight o'clock sharp. 

You didn’t sleep at all that night after you wrapped.

She’s worked at getting you into audition rooms and meetings for years, pushing you onto writers, production assistants, riggers, directors. She had secured you an audition with Andrew Campbell after “accidentally” leaving your headshot in his mailroom and later calling his assistant with threats of stolen property. MGM’s new fresh face had been penciled in for a side read the following week. 

Fierce, ingenious, and your own bright star, you’ve risen through the ranks and fought your way up with Peggy at your side. 

“Yeah, Peg. I have it here in front of me. This is...absolutely nuts.” 

“Not really, you were brilliant in the picture, darling. But it’s a comfort to know Watts has finally replaced that cotton in his brain with some sense.”

Another laugh from you, twirling the telephone cord around your finger.

“Let me have this one, Peg.”

“If you insist.” 

You hear the rustling of newspaper from the other end. You can practically see Peggy sitting at her desk, perusing the paper over a morning cup of coffee, her hair curled, makeup and nails all scarlet red and perfect. The golden placard glittering on the frosted glass of the door. 

Margaret Carter, Casting Director.

“I’m calling to tell you about an offer we received this morning from Paramount. I think you should take it.” 

That rush of giddiness burns bright again in your veins, pulse skyrocketing. 

“Paramount? Geez, what did they say?”

“They want you for a promotional picture that’s being produced by Senator Brandt. Brandt is hoping to boost the homefront’s war bond sales with a little starpower from you and from Captain America. You’ve seen his posters, haven’t you? That costumed bloke?”

You have. Plastered everywhere and looking like an absolute buffoon. Nice physique, though. 

The disappointment that settles in your stomach is ugly and cold, like a fruitless pit, hard, rough, a sour taste in your mouth. It’s stupidly childish, yet your own expectations for your first movie, first box office hit, for that very first taste of the promised fame and fortune of success, begin to blink out. Expectations you’ve held on to since you were a little girl, since you realized this is the type of work you want to do for the rest of your life.

You’ve managed to impress Nicholas Watts, the most cynical film critic in all of Hollywood, and this is your big break? A Paramount picture featuring you and a tights-wearing mascot?

Peggy is practically asking you to star alongside Mickey Mouse.

“Is that all they offered?” You respond. You wince at the demanding, ungrateful tone. Afterall, showbiz has hardened you to go after what you want, to take and take because this lifestyle does not guarantee anything. You’re told no more than you are yes, the constant rejection having molded you into a diamond tough girl, glitzy and solid, unbreakable, beautiful. 

But how many girls would kill to be in your place?

“The only sensible deal. They also offered you the role of Violet for It’s a Wonderful Life, and Ruthie in The Grapes of Wrath.”

“What?! Peggy, contract me for those instead!” 

“Well, I’m not going to. And you listen well as to why.”

You twist your lips together. Peggy’s voice filters clipped and disapproving through the phone line, the way she always gets before she offers you damned good advice. 

“Not just Watts is impressed with your work, Lola. You’re finally turning heads and for all good reasons. Anyone can get in front of a camera if they have the right look. But you’ve shown them that you have the look and the raw talent. Critics are saying you’re rivaling Judy Garland, darling. And you’re telling me you want the part of a lousy love interest? A secondary daughter? All because the pictures have big names behind them and people may go see it?

“No,” you mumble.

“No is right. You know better than anyone that people expect young stars to burn out fast so they can take their place. It’s all business. If I put you in for those roles, we’d be playing right into their hand. We’d use up all your potential in one summer. The public would get sick of seeing your face in every big picture. We have to earn their affection, darling. It’s slow and tame and not always glamorous, but this deal is smart.”

You listen, silently.

“Morale is low. War is when people turn to familiar pastimes and simple pleasures. To treat themselves, to take their minds off all the grizzly headlines. Captain America embodies all of that and more. If we take this, I promise you, Lola, that people will remember you as the girl who got them through the darkest times. This will do wonders for your career years down the line. And then, if you still want to play Violet, I’ll phone Frank Capra myself.” 

You close your eyes and draw in a breath, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. 

“Well, it looks like I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Wonderful. I’ll phone Paramount now. We’ll be in touch.” 

--

Growing up with poor Irish immigrants for parents, the rare moments you could afford to splurge on luxuries, you spent them at local cinemas and theaters with your brother. Any day was a good one when you and Samuel bought tickets for a noon screening, the cheapest showing of the day, scraping together pocket change to split a popcorn if you were feeling extra special.

And reclining in a nearly empty theater with refreshments and goodies between the two of you, you’d watch the silver screen with hope in your mouth and stars in your eyes. In here, it no longer mattered how little money you had, or the discrimination your family faced, or the war in Europe, or the meager apartment you’d go home to, lucky if the electricity and heating had been paid for. In here, nothing else mattered but the visual stories. 

And you realized that you wanted to help tell them. You wanted to be in front of the cameras, to embody characters and personas and let audiences worldwide empathize and identify with your performances. 

You’ve loved playing make-believe since you were a little girl, having never really grown out of it. You could do it, you think. Dangerous dreams, perhaps, but what child doesn’t hold this wish within them? To see their name in lights and to be admired and commended, but most of all, to provide for their family?

 How hard could it be?

**

At sixteen, you land your first speaking role. It’s pathetic. You’re working on set as background, per usual, only this time, the director picks you out from the crowd and gives you the line of, “Good morning, sir.” You’re to look off camera as the actor playing Kent entered the scene and you would then say your line. 

You’re stupidly excited. Three simple words. You’ll be uncredited, of course, but your face would finally be seen! With butterflies fluttering in your stomach, the scene resets, Kent takes his mark, the cameras roll, and you deliver.

The scene is cut from the final reel. 

**

You pound the pavement. You scour newspapers and flyers for casting calls, you phone agencies and playhouses, you save up to get your picture taken on glossy photo paper. You keep looking. You keep working in background until you can land a steady role. 

Then, you finally get one. A miniscule part of a friendly neighborhood girl on a TV drama for CBS. You only have mere minutes of screen time, but the checks that arrive in the mail from Columbia Broadcasting System after your first few episodes air say otherwise. 

You open a savings account. You plant your paychecks and watch them grow into a comfortable sum of money. You land another guest starring role for a daytime soap, the secretary of the title character. Combined with your parents’ salaries from your mother’s sewing and your father’s work on the railroads, you become the main breadwinner.  

You move your family out of Hell’s Kitchen, out of your cramped, dark apartment. You sign a new lease under your new stage name and move to Brooklyn together. 

**

Brooklyn is slightly cleaner, but the familiar hustle and bustle, the noise of shopkeepers and dialects and children and cars is comforting, grounds you in your roots. When your CBS drama wraps months later with your last check in the mail and you’re looking for your next gig, your brother works odd jobs to help shoulder the burden. Brick laying, chimney sweeping, milk and mail delivering, Samuel becomes no stranger to any and all work, so long as it pays. You become a typist on the side as you wait for auditions and callbacks. 

Samuel tells you his aspirations to be a poet, a writer. He hasn’t said a word to your parents, but he shows you the small bound notebook he carries with him, leafing through pages of prose and verse. You encourage him to submit his work to newspapers, publishers. He gives you a shy smile, says he’ll consider it as soon as you get your motion picture debut. You shake on it. Together, your already close bond of brother and sister grows stronger as you each work to support your art.

**

You’re waiting for Samuel to finish his shift so you can catch a late showing of His Girl Friday, a warm September day when you first meet Bucky Barnes down at the wharfs. He’s tall, lean, and glistening with sweat when he rounds out of the warehouse with an armful of crates and nearly knocks you off the pier.

“Hey, watch it!” he snaps. His eyes flash like the water around you, blue and cold and dangerous. Brown locks curl with perspiration against his forehead, the sleeves of his workshirt rolled up over his shoulders, the exposed skin of his throat and arms flushed and tan. 

Embarrassed, you try to steady him, to which he growls in annoyance and spins out of your reach. He makes a great show of bearing the weight himself, grumbling as he sets down his load. You don’t miss the way the muscles in his back flex and dip. It isn’t until he slowly stands back up, wiping his palms on his khakis, that you get a good look at each other.

The hostility in his eyes softens ever so slightly, simmering into a look that cinches your chest tight when his gaze travels shamelessly up from your kitten heels to the curves of your lips and cheek. His breathing is still labored as he surveys you and you can feel heat and color blooming against your skin. When his eyes finally settle on your face, you can’t decide whether you want to slap or kiss him. 

“You lost or something, honey?” He asks with a whisper of a smile. He strolls in a lazy half-circle in front of you and moves to go back up the ramp to the warehouse. Then, he pauses and turns back to you.

“Have we met before? I swear I recognize you from somewhere.”

This delights you deliciously, that a handsome young man you’ve met by chance has seen your work. Not glamorous, acclaimed roles by any means, but recognition nonetheless. You bite the inside of your lip to suppress your smile and give him a coy, bashful flutter of your eyelashes.

“If that were the case, I’m sure I’d remember you.” 

He grins wolfishly, pleased, and takes a step closer. “Yeah? Think you’ll let me take you out for dinner tonight?”

“She’s got plans with me, Buck.” Samuel’s voice carries across the water. Your brother emerges with wooden boxes and sets them between you and Bucky in a huff, as if he’s implementing a physical barrier, both childish and endearing. Bucky glances at you and Samuel.

“Are you two..?”

“Steady? No. She’s my sister.”

Bucky snorts and his eyes find you again, glittering in the evening light. “You never told me you had a sister, Sammy. And such a looker too..”

“Makes you wonder why I never brought her up,” retorts Samuel and gives him a playful shove, traps him briefly in a headlock. “At least Steve wouldn’t ogle.”

“Stevie would get a nose bleed and pass out.” You hear Bucky grunt back. Samuel moves as if to dump him into the drink and Bucky pinwheels, scrambling. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

Satisfied, Samuel releases him and socks him in the shoulder for good measure. Bucky stumbles, looking boyish and smooth despite his shirt and hair all disheveled. 

You’ve seen his type in casting offices all across New York; bold, alluring, and charismatic. It’s a look and type you’ve longed to act opposite of someday, as all young starlets dream of, but a look that simultaneously sparks the feminine temptation that shivers between your breasts. You wonder if Bucky would look the same in a dark bedroom, with him on top of you and your fingers running over his back…

Bucky grins toothily when he catches you staring and shoots you a wink. None of those movie star hopefuls hold a candle now to his rugged, spirited charm.

Samuel guides you back up the pier so he can punch out his time card and the two of you can be on your way. And as you’re about to set foot on solid ground, you hear Bucky call out to you.

“What’s your name, honey?” 

Samuel sighs and shakes his head. “Cripes.” He mutters to himself. Before Samuel can stop you, you laugh and turn back to the water with a fresh and girlish aire, warmth and excitement whispering through your veins, young and naive and sixteen.  

���Dolores!” You give him your full name, your real name. For once, you don’t want to be Lola Sparks. You want to be your natural, honest self, the girl who deserves young love and joy and an untroubled adolescence. The sound of your voice rings clear and strong, the diva that you are, and Bucky’s mouth curves upwards.

“See you ‘round, Dot.” 

**

Much to Samuel’s displeasure, you tail your big brother around the docks like a lost pup whenever you have time. And being a C-list actress and a part-time typist, you have plenty of it. You loiter with the excuse of bringing sack lunches, waiting on Samuel and Bucky at the edge of the warehouses. It’s lonesome and bores you to no end being all by yourself, until one afternoon when someone is already waiting at your spot by the pier.

Small, skinny as his own shadow with a fringe of blonde hair, he leans hunkered and folded within himself, timid and seemingly conscious of how he occupies space. His jacket droops over his shoulders, eyes downcast even as you approach. He has a sketchbook in his hands, concentrated as the pencil moves across the page in fast, gentle strokes. You see an impressive likeness of the piers and Bucky’s distant figure in charcoaled lines.

“That’s really something.” You say.

He jolts so hard the paper tears and he crumples it into his fist in a single motion. “Huh?” he answers. When he looks to you, you realize his eyes are a pretty shade of teal. He flushes, petrified, the tips of his ears coloring pink. You feel horrible when he goes to pocket the ball of paper.

“I’m so sorry for scaring you,” you breathe. Gently, you offer your palm to him. “If you’re not keeping it, do you mind if I have it?” You ask softly. A few seconds pass and he shakes his head before placing it in your hand. You unfurl the paper, carefully smooth it out as he watches you from the corner of his eye. 

Shyness is a barrier of art you’ve known all too well, from your own experiences in audition rooms to your brother’s reluctance to find a publisher, you understand that sting of insecurity better than anyone. So, you let him watch you as you admire his work, let him know of his talent and let your actions speak for you. You smile and slip the drawing into your purse. 

Then, his stomach grumbles audibly, almost comically loud. He folds his arms around his stomach, so tight you’re afraid he’ll snap in half. You quickly reach into one of your paper bags and hand him a sandwich wrapped in cellophane and a can of lemonade. 

“Here, let’s trade.” 

“That’s awfully kind of you, but I can’t accept..” he starts. The timbre of his voice is surprisingly gallant and sure, pleasant, sweet. You have a gut feeling that the world has been taking advantage of that kindness his whole life, scaring him away from genuine compassion, that everything must have a catch. It makes you press harder.

“I insist. Please. It’s the least I can do for sneaking up on you.” He eyes you warily and again that feeling of regret washes over you. “Consider it payment.” You smile. 

Finally, he takes Samuel’s lunch from you and unwraps the sandwich. He eats quickly and quietly, draining the lemonade only minutes later. Perhaps it’s his bony statue, but you feel happy to see this stranger eat.

When he’s finished, he wipes his mouth and turns to you. His lips, pretty, pink, part as if about to speak, yet no words leave him. Instead, he stands frozen with that transfixing blue-green gaze keeping you still, lingering. 

That is until a stream of brilliant scarlet red dribbles down his chin and splatters onto his dress shirt. He pinches his nose, doubling forward and his flustered complexion matching the blood spilling from his nostrils.

“You must be Steve,” You laugh lightly and quickly hand him your handkerchief of cream yellow lace and embroidered flowers. You help steady him as he keeps his head tilted down. “Bucky’s told me all about you.”

Steve groans and presses the handkerchief to his face, blushing all the way down to his neck. 

**

Steve returns your handkerchief days later with an embarrassed hush, carefully cleaned and laundered. It smells of lavender and clean linen and the image of him working the fabric between his thin fingers with soap and suds warms your heart. 

You tell him it’s his. He blooms and keeps it neatly folded in his breast pocket. 

You and Steve quickly grow close in the hours you spend together waiting on Bucky and Samuel. You pack extra lunches for him and sit by the piers chatting, skipping stones as Steve sketches the Brooklyn skyline day in and day out.

“Draw me!” you tease. “Isn’t that the request that all artists want to hear?”

But surprisingly, he does. He always draws you and Bucky and Samuel with striking, intimate familiarity. His sketchbook gradually fills with portraits and pictures of you, sketches that could put your very headshot to shame.

**

After their usual shifts, the four of you head to the drugstore for your ritual of sodas and sundaes. Two pairs, brother and sister and brothers by blood enjoying a rare wartime treat. With the rations on sugar, it’s a special and memorable circumstance just to be together and sharing something sweet.

It’s there, at your corner booth in Wolfe’s Pharmacy over ice cream, that Bucky opens up a paper for that night’s television network schedule and sees your name. 

His eyebrows shoot up. “Dot,” he says. “What do others call you?”

Defeated, you twist your lips, hesitant to break the short spell of normalcy you’ve had with your new friends. Samuel sips at his Coke with a silent grin. 

Time for the truth to come out.

“Well, ‘doll’, by Stevie,” you giggle and toe Steve’s foot under the table. Steve shyly shrinks back into his seat. “But CBS calls me Lola.”

Bucky’s jaw drops. 

“Get out of here. You’re pulling my leg..”

“I absolutely am not.”

“Sammy, tell me she’s pulling my leg.”

“She’s not.”

Two pairs of brilliant blue eyes dart between you and your brother. Bucky’s face breaks into an open smile, laughing. Steve lurches forward. 

“Have you ever met anyone famous?” Steve prods with a hint of that honest, innocent charm.  

You wrinkle your nose sheepishly. “Mason Cook?”

“Who?” Bucky asks around a mouthful of sundae.

“Exactly.” Samuel snorts.

“Well, I’m sure he’s very talented.” Says Steve.

You swipe his maraschino cherry and let the stem dangle between your lips. “At least Stevie believes in me.” 

“Dot, honey. I saw your pilot episode. If anyone’s a fan, it’s me.” Bucky feigns hurt, hand to his chest. 

You stick out your bottom lip before sucking in the stem, working it into a tight knot in your mouth. “Are you still gonna be when your girl is signing autographs with John Wayne?”

You place the knotted stem on your napkin. Bucky nearly chokes. 

“I better be.”

Samuel coughs. Steve giggles. 

**

You thank your stars that your secret doesn’t change anything between Steve and Bucky. They treat you just the same; as Samuel’s baby sister who tags along with the boys. The teasing, the fleeting looks all unchanging. 

Girls, you’ve unfortunately realized, are catty and mean. You’re competing for roles, after all. But with Bucky and Steve, your first taste of homecoming since moving to Brooklyn, you don’t have to worry about silly competition, or fame, or being the best in the room. They keep you level-headed, reminding you of your girlhood and life’s simple pleasures.

Bucky drives you and Steve around town in the company truck on weekends. Hopscotch and jacks on brick roads and warm nights, watching sunsets until the sky blushes peach and mango yellow at Coney Island. 

A Saturday afternoon on Rockaway Beach, a vacation for you all after a draining week of work and auditions when Bucky promises to win you a stuffed bear when he sees you eyeing the one on careful display. 

“Buck..Bucky, give it a rest, we can try the next one.” Steve chides.

Another plastic ring pings off the neck of a glass bottle. Bucky curses, rings his hands together and slaps another dollar onto the counter.

You and Steve trade looks. Bucky’s been at it for ten minutes. At this rate, you know you’ll be walking on the train tracks home tonight.

So, you and Steve huddle close and cheer him on. Do it for our doll! says Steve. Finish it so you’ll stop wasting money, you dolt! you cry. Hell, even the vendor finds it humorous and joins in.

And when Bucky wins that grand prize and you’re handed a teddy bear as big as Stevie, you hoist it on your back, careful to not let it touch gravel or dust as the three of you walk in line with the train tracks later that evening.

Paradise, a sheltered haven from the broken landscapes and realities that the European newsreels broadcast home in grim black and white. 

**

True to Bucky’s word, they become your biggest supporters, helping you run lines and monologues and accompanying you to auditions. Bucky’s not bad for a scene partner, and Steve’s awareness of emotion and character motivation is impressive.

The attention you receive from casting directors and auditionees doesn’t hurt your chances either, lanky Steve and smoldering Bucky wishing you luck before stepping into the green room.

You book a drama. Then, a short film. Then another. You call them your lucky charms. 

And when your humble little short film “premiers” at the corner cinema, squeezed in between an empty noon showing of a cartoon rerun, Steve and Bucky whoop and holler when your character is shown on screen. They throw popcorn and gumdrops, jostle you by the shoulders. Bucky even runs down the aisle and mimes kissing the projector screen.

“That’s our girl! That’s our Dot!”

The usher threatens to throw you out. Steve tells him you’ve paid good money for your tickets and you’ll stay and watch as long as you please.

The following week, you’re scouted by Peggy Carter. 

Your world, your career will never be the same.

[dansnaturepictures]

29/11/20-Walk at Lower Test 

We had a walk at Lower Test this morning/early afternoon in glorious winter sunshine on a crisp and chilled morning. It was a lovely walk around the reedbed and river habitat quite a wet place. A really lovely way to spend the early part of a Sunday a very pleasant and beautiful walk where I took a lot of pictures including the first in this photoset of autumn leaves and third, fourth, fifth, ninth and tenth of various nice watery views and eighth of flowers and seventh of Missy swimming. We got today the right way round as we had our team playing football at 2pm on the TV against the local team actually so we went out this morning and watched the football this afternoon. A hugely useful thing to do as that glorious sunshine disappeared for the rest of the day on the way home so had it been a normal Sunday we’d been at home doing our usual Sunday morning things in the house in sunshine then out into overcast conditions which you can obviously still have a great time in watching wildlife and taking photos, but the sunshine really made this set yet another memorable one this week I think. 

Wildlife highlights on the walk today included one of my favourite birds the Little Egret flying over, a brilliant view of a Grey Wagtail in the sunshine by the boardwalk we see them so often here and both Cormorant (shown in the second picture in this photoset) and Grey Heron sat in trees (shown when it flew onto the ground in the sixth picture in this photoset) over the river by the bridge and beside the boardwalk respectively it was nice to take photos of both. It was also good to get great Wren views and see Mallard, Mute Swan, Black-headed Gull, Robin, Starling and I heard a Cetti’s Warbler.  It was nice to see the Greylag Geese, Pied Wagtail and other birds well in my old secondary school field on the way home today.

This week sees December come around once more and the beginning of my wildlife/photography highlights of 2020 blogs in the evenings in the weeks, which I described what would be posting when a few weeks ago in a blog and will do so again in my introduction blog for them on Tuesday with the first three posting this week. I wanted to warn that I have considered the impact that checking they’d gone out and enjoying bits of looking back myself would have on my working from home very often after high photo yielding lunch time walks and bits of time working from home evenings. I therefore have decided to not put any more content into the highlights blogs and not edit any of my highlights posts other than for updating year list totals if they change from here on in. As for any notable moments that happen any day for any part of my hobby in December, I will be writing about them in a daily blog as normal. So throughout December I will in a blog of a day if there was something very notable about that walk or day standing out across the year make this very clear. By saying, “This truly was one of my bird highlights of the year” or “Had it already posted/had I not have already scheduled it to post, I would have written about it in my highlights posts about……”.  For some of the notable moments of the next few weeks I will have said the highlights blog I did this year specific to this posted on the …….. or will post on the ………….. This year will be so different for these highlights due to how much I have seen and phtogoraphed and it just seemed a bit time consuming to be enjoying the highlights blogs in the evenings on a lot of the weekdays and any comments others may have, writing about my walk for the day and then effectively copying what I was saying for certain bits for the remaining highlights posts, when the notable events of December are happening in the time I am reflecting on my year as we all are and I am writing about them then. So I’m effectively taking the time in evenings I would normally be writing what bits of my day went into highlights posts and replacing it with reading through or bits of the ones that post. There are at least two places for December photos in my end of year photo posts on Twitter and Facebook too so there is still some representation of the upcoming month in my end of year activities. I hope you enjoy all my 2020 highlights posts. 

[sunnysynthsunshine]

6th Comedy Monologue

“So folks, that whole Brexit rubbish is finally over isn’t it?”

“I know, some of us could see it coming and Teresa May looks like the spitting image

of the stepmother from Cinderella

how come nobody has noticed that yet?

we all have politicians we don’t like don’t we?

at times like this, I have to remind myself Teresa May is a very well liked woman

but then I remember back in the day Margaret Thatcher was also a very well liked woman

don’t you think she and Teresa may are quite similar?

well this is how she’d treat a political problem

*attempts impersonation*

“what’s that? ok men I did you to do this and then this and then this and this”

whereas Teresa may would handle the situation like…

*attempts impersonation*

what’s this? oh leave it for a few months

but the main thing is they both hate poor people so who cares what they think

I actually sort of understand why people like Jeremy Corbyn but I had written that previous gag back in late June of last year, speaking of outdated gags

Pirates were the communists and socialists of the 17th century

they wanted money, disagreed with colonialism and didn’t care what the government thought of them

like with communists they were accepting and inclusive but they wanted gold

the pirates accepted many on their ship they allowed homosexuality, they allowed women in strong roles  there were great times had on the high seas

even with the loot, they got they’d share it evenly what other power was involved with being inclusive with most things except money Oh Yeah! the communists

Yes, Yes we’ll handle it we’ll accept you but give us all your money

communism is a good concept but in the end, people get greedy for the money

like with pirates

we’ll accept you matey but give us some gold

however they didn’t agree about the government, they had their own independent pirate crews and disagreed with colonialism and capitalism

kind of like some of us, I think

we criticize politics, we like to party and we accept most people except colonialists …and capitalists...

Oh well, at least there’s been good music with Marina and the diamonds, Ariana Grande and the 1975

We, humans, love music

which makes me think about bands related to Homosapians

in the 60s we had the Monkees good band good name

and now we have Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz, Rang a Tang and Apes

what about the lesser known homosapian types

Chimpanzees and Baboons

if music existed in Planet of the Apes

the Kate Bush hit Babooshka would be about a

monkey looking for love after getting his heart broken seeing his wife cheat on him with an older mandrill

only to fall in love again with who he’d call his baboonska

Animals are interesting creatures whether they are made of glass, made of 1960s haircuts or made of the first songs of a math rock band

Another good thing about music and animals is that Roger Taylor is going to help us save the bees

Thinking bee! Thinking queen! thinking bee! Thinking queen!

Speaking of which there’s been a whole glam rock/synthpop revival going on

And I love that

although as a kid I watched media from all sorts of different decades

While they watched Jersey Shore and Love Island I was watching Disney and CBBC sitcoms mixed with Japanese cartoons and shows from years before like Jem and the holograms, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the original my little pony series.

I would also watch funnybones, the original noody series from a VHS I “borrowed” from my neighbours, as well as the Muppet show and some classic cinema.

I think it’s amazing that this revival is happening it’s like the 60s,70s,80s,90s and early 2000s are all going on at the same time.

Revolutionary anarchic protests, Androgynous rockers, Neon colours, post-punk indie shows, peculiar fashion trends and reality shows as well as the cybernetic future beyond

But I’m also cold and angry about how this is happening because on the other hand, there are things carried over from previous decades that shouldn’t still be around...fascists in positions of power, nonces in the entertainment industry, Threat of a nuclear war, low economy, Jamie Oliver, Piers Morgan, Death, Pollution,Misogyny,Misandry,Sexism,Racism and White Supremacy

I could list more, but I can’t think at the moment I’m focusing on my work while morons on Twitter and Tumblr are yabbering on about vegan sausage rolls.

I’ve never tried Greggs before but I’m sure the vegans and vegetarians are happy that a mainstream chain like Greggs has made a product catered specifically for them, whereas before if you asked for a “vegan option” at a restaurant the waiter would scratch their neck.

However not all restaurants are like this,having to work overtime dealing with angry parents,screaming children and the odd nazi at Mcdonalds is not an easy task,yet so many waiters and workers across the world are able to somehow keep those businesses afloat,you guys, girls and comrades don’t get enough credit,you should be paid more,no wonder so many mainstream restaurants are having strikes or running out of food and people are either going to more independently funded places or ordering online to get their daily dose of fast fried convenience.

and while I would be interested in trying a vegetarian diet,It would be hard for me to give up eating chicken that quickly but I don’t really eat meat that often,and before you say anything as long as cannibals don’t use their choice of food in a dangerous way they’re ok with me, it’s no different to when our prehistoric ancestors had to hunt to find food in order to survive,some people still have to do that,it’s sad...it really is,while Christianity isn’t something I believe in anymore, it did say in the bible that Jesus shared his bread and food with his people,and I think some of us should start doing that,and if you already do whether it’s a snack you have or leaving out leftover food from your side takeaway business, that’s brilliant your making more people happy and your allowing more people to enjoy food and to have access to that basic human necessity that we all should be able to have to access to.

Sharing is another primary school lesson it feels like half of humanity has forgotten about outside of basic decency and kindness, but I’m probably not the one to talk about that since I was called “Rude” for most of my life.

there’s a big difference between telling someone they’re a plonker and making someone more aware of how they can improve themselves as a person.

Most of us all have flaws, most of us have had toxic moments,

we’ve all at times had moments where we’ve said something wrong that we didn’t mean,

or times where our cowardliness has accidentally caused misunderstandings and drama

or times where we didn’t intend to sound hurtful but that’s how it came across, or times where we’ve blindly followed toxic people, imitating their actions without meaning to or just generally times where we’ve been ignorant little eijjits.

Even people some would say were flawless had flaws or problematic aspects about them

David Bowie wasn’t too nice to his wife Angie in later years, Graham Lineman and Robert Webb are transphobic, Rowan Atkinson supports Boris Johnson’s “so-called” jokes and Ricky Gervais doesn’t like hearing people with different opinions than him.

Overthinking however can exaggerate this, overthinking can take that one time you were a bit rude as a child and that problematic “fandom” phase you had as a preteen and make you feel like your worst person in the world.

Your not, but most of us have had moments,there’s also the “not like other girls/boys phase” sometimes it’s just a light-hearted comparison drawing or blog post taken out of context other times it’s the grown-up equivalent of saying “I like this thing over your other thing that means I’m better than you”

Considering my at times cold thoughts it’s weird that I’m the person of all people telling you this

It’s perfectly ok to be prideful and narcissistic just don’t be so arrogant that you forget about your morals and the people that you're close to, but if at times because of mental health you question your levels of empathy, sympathy and compassion that’s ok too, your voices deserve to be heard, and there is help available you can find it through helplines, organizations or even your own comrades.

Outside of all the twits in this horrid fishbowl of a world, there are also millions of very kind nice people, I don’t know where I’d be now without my comrades

The offline pals who are like my sunshine because they brighten up my day,the old secondary school friends that made me feel less alone,the online people who I can vent to, converse with and joke with,the bloggers from years ago that I still sometimes keep in touch with and the creators who through their work in Media, Theatre and the Arts were able to encourage me to keep going, keep working, keep creating.

I think your all lovely and beautiful and creative human beings, no matter what identity you are, what music genre you listen to or what topping you prefer on your pizza

I will most likely adore you and if I haven’t it’s probably because I haven’t met you yet

You are one biscuit of cells, on this fishbowl planet, your mind is a land of wonder and your body is the garden surrounding it, take care of yourself like how you take care of your garden, your pets or the fictional characters you write about.

Your future might not be the future you expect, but it’s one you’ll enjoy.

if you are doing something you love which harms nobody, be as happy and passionate about it as you like

you are a person who deserves the world

Don’t push yourself too hard, if you know you’re doing a good job keep at it, don’t stress yourself too hard, but remember not to procrastinate, your mental health is important, some people might not understand all of the issues you’re going through, but you can make it out alive.

You're, not a number or statistic you're a person, your a beautiful, Kind, incredible, wise person

spread some love and don’t forget what the late Freddie Mercury said,

Keep yourself Alive!

[hetmusic]

HumanHuman meets Jolyon Checketts

In another interview with some of our most influential users, we get to know Jolyon Checketts, purveyor of all things new music and part of the Charm Factory PR team. Joining the HumanHuman community two years ago, Checketts quickly gained a reputation as one of our most passionate discoverers with some of his best finds being Pinegrove, Starling, Hein Cooper and PARTYBABY.

Speaking with this new music enthusiast over a coffee at The Great Escape festival, he talks about his less-than-unusual route into the music industry, the trends and artists we should be looking out for this year and how his dissertation led him to create something called the ‘triangle of discovery’.

First question, for the readers of HumanHuman, tell me who are you and what do you do?

I’m Joly Checketts, I work for Charm Factory which is an online PR, digital marketing and social media company based in London. I’m essentially an online publicist, but I also occasionally do a bit of writing here and there.

Ah cool, who have you written for recently?

I’ve done a few bits for The Most Radicalist, who are a really cool new blog doing the right things. I used to do some stuff for Gold Flake Paint as well.

How did you first get started in the music industry?

I’ve been in bands since I was about sixteen, none of which were very good, and I got to a point where I was like “okay, this isn’t going anywhere, so maybe I’ll start helping other people.” Then I studied Marketing and Advertising at university, and after my second year, they gave me the option to do a work placement and I was looking for advertising internships, but that was really difficult. Eventually, I stumbled upon a week long work experience at the BBC in their marketing department for Radio 2 and 6Music. I was there for a week, and then they invited me back for another week, and another week, and another week! So I was there for a month in the end, which was great. It was really fun, like in my first week I was invited to see Fleet Foxes at the Radio Theatre, which was amazing. I kept being invited to the 6Music Live Lounge, so I saw Tom Vek and Wild Beasts. It was all a dream come true for me. After that I got an internship at Vice for a month, which got extended to three months, and I got offered a full-time position at Vice in their marketing and PR team - or what was called then the “activation team”. Vice was awesome, and then I moved onto the Noisey side of things. When I joined Noisey, it was pretty much non-existent, it was a really small part of what they were doing. We were doing documentaries of unheard of bands, following them around their local town. Halfway through my time at Noisey they got the funding from Google, who really started pushing their YouTube. Then we started premiering videos - the first thing we did was an A$AP Rocky video and I was thrown into this high-pressure PR situation where you have to ensure loads of coverage. My time at Vice and Noisey finished and I came back to uni and by then I had pretty much decided that I was going to be in the music industry in some shape or form. I ended up writing my dissertation on digital PR and about how people find new music.

Wow, so you are the expert!

Well… I wouldn’t quite go as far as expert. I probably shouldn’t have done a dissertation on Music PR when I was studying Marketing and Advertising, but they let me have it! I did a case study on Peace, and how they went from pretty much nothing, they were just this Birmingham band doing quite well and local blogs were writing about them, but then it snowballed and went massive. After that I finished uni, I went looking for a job, which was really tricky despite having a year's experience, but then I found myself at Charm Factory and I’ve loved every minute of it since. It’s an incredibly exciting place to work.

That’s a good biography there! So, when did you first hear about HumanHuman?

It was actually when I was writing for Gold Flake Paint. I saw Jarri from Disco Naïveté posting about it on Twitter and I checked the website out and thought “this looks really cool!” At the time I was still writing for Gold Flake Paint quite a lot, and I think Senne messaged me like, “we love Gold Flake Paint!” [laughs] I’ve seen it grow over the past year and a half, maybe two years now, and it’s been so nice seeing the community grow and people getting more involved. It’s such an awesome community! I love the fact that PRs, bloggers and A&Rs alike can all feed into this hub of incredible new music.

“I love the fact that PRs, bloggers and A&Rs alike can all feed into this hub of incredible new music”— Jolyon Checketts

Of course, the community is all about discovering, so which discovery are you most proud of to date?

I’m conscious that you probably already know the answer to this, but probably Pinegrove. For anyone who hasn’t listened to them yet, their latest album is the best one I’ve heard this year by quite a way - it’s awesome. Equally, there’s a band called TUSKA, who are really great and kind of sound like Tame Impala. There’s also a band called Great News, who are signed to Propeller Recordings, a Norwegian label who are doing great things. There’s also a great guy called Rodney Tenor, who is part of the rap collective Brockhampton, he’s like Brockhampton’s Frank Ocean! His track “Prognosis Hypnosis” is awesome, and I think he’s got a bright future ahead of him.

Obviously, you’re really excited by discovering new bands and artists, but why do you think people are drawn to the idea of finding new talent and being able to say “I found that”?

I don’t know, it’s a weird one… My entry into enjoying music is a weird one. I was always really into sports when I was younger, I would play rugby, cricket, football, the lot, and I had a relatively limited interest in music. Then I got in with a different crowd at secondary school and I started playing in a band, because I’d been a singer since I was young, you know in choirs and some musical things. I’d always liked singing, and these friends of mine caught onto the fact I was a singer and invited me to join their covers band. We were doing covers of Green Day, Blink 182, Metallica, all of which I had never listened to before because I was completely naive to the whole of music. Then my intrigue of music rapidly went mental! When I was in these bands, I was the one always looking for shows and booking them. We did alright in the end. One band who changed the way I listen to music is a band called Tellison, they released their album Contact Contact eight or nine years ago, and that’s when my love for new music really took off. I got into bands that they were touring with, like Sam Isaac and Tall Ships, and then the record label Big Scary Monsters, that was a big moment in my new music discovery… I’ve actually forgotten the question now! [we laugh]

I was simply asking about why people are so interested in discovering new music, and it’s interesting that you said you were a latecomer to it, which is something that Jarri from Disco Naïveté said in his interview too. Maybe, there’s something to that?

Maybe, but I know so many people who really don’t care about new music, they’re just happy to consume it. I always use my sister as a reference point, so everytime I go home I ask her “what are you listening to lately? how are you listening to it?” and it’s usually Radio 1 or a Spotify playlist. That’s basically how 95% of people consume music. Going back to your question, I think the thrill of finding new music isn’t necessarily being the first one to find it, it’s the pleasure of being able to tell people about it via places like HumanHuman or down the pub with your mates.

Most people will know you from your work with Charm Factory, what has been your proudest moment as a publicist?

I’ve had a few really good moments. I looked after Raye, and seeing her go from nothing to releasing her first track “Need Me” back in September 2014. Since then, she’s been doing some really great things and signed to Polydor - I’m really proud of that. Dagny is one of my more recent clients, she’s done exceptionally well off the back of one track, which went completely insane. She’s so humble and nice about it, and she’s such a talented singer. Dagny has got a huge year ahead of her and I’m really proud of what we’ve achieved with her so far. There’s been a few things, I worked on Fictonian’s debut album, which is brilliant. There’s some of the newer things like Joy Crookes, we just started on her, and Mhairi, another really exciting artist with only one track released but there’s plenty more to come.

Essentially, you’re proud of all of them!

[laughs] I’m proud of most things! Sign of a good publicist.

While you’ve been working on all of these things, what do you think has been the most significant change to the music industry, in particular the way we receive the music and share it?

One of the most obvious changes is how reliant the music industry is on Spotify now. When I began, it used to be quite one dimensional. It was like get as much online coverage as you can and try to feed that into what the radio pluggers were doing, and Spotify was more of an afterthought. If you could get some of the external Spotify playlisters to put it in there then great, that used to have a real impact, but now they’ve changed things so you can’t contact anyone within the company, unless they’re following you. That seems like a move to help the majors out, so they can really handpick who they support. Recently, in the past month or so I’ve been having more conversations with managers and labels where SoundCloud is perhaps not as high on the agenda as it once was. Whether that’s because of SoundCloud Go or because of the Spotify success, and it’s now seen as a direct competitor. If the Spotify editorial team see that you’re giving SoundCloud a week-long exclusive, which is essentially what it is, then they’re like “why should we support it?” It’s such a Catch 22 because you need SoundCloud to get the recognition of the track. Yeah… it’s a tricky one.

Streaming services are definitely one of the most complicated things going on in the music industry at the moment, I’d be interested to see where we’re all at in ten years time. You spoke there about how when you started it was about getting that online coverage, but why do you think blogs still have so much influence over what we all listen to?

Again, I think this is quite an interesting topic. In my dissertation, I actually created a diagram and I think I called it the ‘triangle of discovery’ - I was really proud of it! If you think of a normal triangle, and at the bottom you have people who just consume music from various different points whether that be Radio 1 or Spotify or their friends. If you go up a level, that will perhaps be people who are listening to specialist radio shows or looking at blogs occasionally. Above that will be people who are adamantly reading new music blogs, whether that be the smaller HypeMachine blogs or completely unheard of ones. Right at the top are people who are discovering things on HumanHuman, and they feed music to people who go right down to the bottom. It kind of makes more sense when you can actually see this triangle! [we laugh]

The triangle of discovery - I love it! It’s going to change the way I look at HumanHuman. That argument concentrates on the digital music world, so why do you think the industry is moving online?

I think it’s just… ease. It’s the ease of consumption from digital platforms. For example, I overheard someone talking about how the older music publications perhaps haven’t had their site enabled for mobile yet, and from my perspective that’s incredibly stupid because people don’t always have their laptops with them. I think the likes of The NME could have such a wider circulation out of it, I used to be able to buy that magazine at my local newsagents in Hitchin, but now I can’t. It’s only sold in the big cities, so if someone from a small town like Hitchin wanted to read it they either have to trek to London or read it online. It’s purely the ease of consumption. It’s also the way that everything is interconnected, so you can read an article on DIY Magazine and see a Spotify embed included in the piece, and have that linked directly to the Spotify app in your phone. Everything makes sense online, whereas there’s a disconnect with print publications and music consumption. I mean, they are still important in my eyes. I think you still really need support from print publications to make it in the music industry, that goes without saying really. Online coverage is the most important now though, especially for the younger generations, people who have grown up being able to read articles and listen to music on their phone.

“Online coverage is the most important now though, especially for the younger generations”— Jolyon Checketts

Yeah, that’s going to be second nature for them, although print publications do still have precedence as a physical format. Obviously, a festival like The Great Escape is also an in-life experience, but do you think festivals have as much prominence in the music industry?

I think so! Especially events like this, because in online PR, you’re kind of this faceless person who emails random people all the time, but you build up strong relationships and it’s so nice to be able to meet them and have a real life conversation. You wouldn’t get a chance to at any other time, because everyone is so busy, probably not getting paid enough and don’t have time to go waltzing around London meeting people. It’s weekends like this where it’s so nice to catch up with people, talk about music and…

Meet people in the same world as you.

Exactly, Hannah!

This festival is really dedicated to new music and small artists, so who is your recommended must-see act?

Well, I’ve seen some great stuff already this weekend. The nature of being a PR at The Great Escape is that you’re probably going to have to see your own acts and spend a lot of time with them, so Dagny has played and Strong Asian Mothers blew the roof off Green Door Store on Thursday night! I saw Seramic yesterday, and he was incredible, probably the highlight of the whole festival so far. I also saw a girl called Tusks on Friday, she was brilliant. Today, I want to try to see Smerz, who are from Norway, and a band called Few Bits. There’s a few more… but the highlight was definitely Seramic, without a doubt. Unbelievable show!

Agreed! So, a lot of these smaller artists try to stay away from genre labels or indeed invent one of their own, for example Astronomyy came up with Lunar Surf. Where do you think this trend has come from?

We’re in a world where online publications want to stand out from the pack as a site that’s doing interesting things and listening to interesting music, so bands and artists feel that it’s beneficial to them to try and publicise themselves as something a bit different. Whether that be throwing a strange genre into their description section on Facebook. If you look at a band like Flamingods, I mean I don’t know how they describe themselves, but they are doing something different, they truly are. They probably warrant giving themselves a crazy description. Basically, I think it’s routed in trying to separate themselves from the pack. That’s half the problem, there’s so much music, there’s too much music! Even if you look at New Music Fridays, sometimes four or five great albums are released on one day, and how is anyone meant to consume that much music? That’s not even one percent of it. There’s so much good music released every single day, so you just have to find a way of making yourself stand out and the easiest way to do that is to describe yourself as something different, even if you’re not!

That’s just one current trend, but do you think there will be a focal trend this year?

I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed Scandinavian-pop, and I’m working with a lot of Danish artists at the moment who are doing some really great things. I can sense a little bit of blues and soul coming up at the moment. I went to see Tom Misch last night, he’s a great guitarist playing blues solos with hip-hop influences in the instrumentals. Another example is Seramic, he’s an insane guitarist and you can hear elements of Prince and D’Angelo in his music.

Oh yeah, he was wearing a Prince t-shirt, wasn’t he?

He was! Dedication. Even his backing vocalists had so much soul. I think you can get across real passion in your music when you go back to the routes of soul and blues. I used to be in a blues-funk band, and it gave me an outlet to really use my voice in the most passionate way possible. I’m beginning to see a lot more of that, and I’m really enjoying it.

https://humanhuman.com/articles/interview-jolyon-checketts

[macabreerudition]

My name is Paper Ghostie and I’m a Formon.

Ghostie Rants On: Her Experience as a Mormon.

So, as a popular blog on here, @just-shower-thoughts, has helped be realize, not all water-based introversion is brilliant. But, there is some that make you rant about things in your past. I was marveling at how often I have friends in my work group who are kind enough to offer me rides home

It led to my realization that a lot has changed in the past few years: 

the rides from my coworkers wouldn’t be allowed to be even considered

my relationship with my fiancé just wouldn’t do

my dress for my wedding would be scandalous 

even my daily language would be wrong 

Well, that was just a mere six years ago, due to the style of faith I was following at the time: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If you are interested I have linked the English version and the language selection page of their official website. Link 1 and Link 2

Below is mostly a rant, as the secondary title indicates. I will be trying to keep the facts straight and will make corrections as needed. So, I know there are going to be people who will call me bigoted (if I get any views on this, honestly). I know that I’m going to be told I have to be more accepting of different views. I get it, I really do.I will be mostly presenting my views mixed with facts I have learned during and since I have ostracized myself from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Notes to consider before reading past the Keep reading link:

The faith will be referred to sarcastically several different forms. But, I will strictly be speaking about my experience with the LDS faith.

My experience with this sect of Christianity fell between August of 2011 and mostly ended around November or December of 2013.¹

While I would like to say that these negative points and opinions are few and far between, many other former members agree.

My living situation and mental state have both drastically improved.¹

A lot of the humor in the initial rant is sarcastic and simply “done”.

The following is the initial rant that I wrote that started this post and I wanted to not only address a lot of the errors that are in the rant but also to explain my own humor in this situation. :

I was wondering: how is it the LDS faith is an actual thing. For fuck's sake, they do proxy baptisms for the dead and the believe Jesus fucking Christ, himself, (and a buncha other dead folks, I suppose) is preaching to the dead in the spirit world to spread the "restored" word to these dead people.² So *if* these people choose to accept Christ into their... afterlives??? that they can have the baptism bit already done for them. Fucking weird, right? 

Then, we have the fucking proxy weddings that are held so deceased couples can /correctly/ be married in the Temple™. (<--- Yes, I am placing a trademark on that and I’ll go over why later.) And, this ceremony can be performed with two full-blooded siblings as the proxies for the bride and groom...³

What in the Sam Hill... how can this be a thing?! How can someone with, like, two fully functioning brain cell that rub together, can look at that and go, "that's not fucking weird at all; in fact, we consider that sacred.." 

What?! What??? 

How? How can you--- I went through that shit for two years... acting like I'm okay with all of it. Ya know? And, I still cannot, for the life of me, get how people think it's not only peachy but REVERED to do these ceremonies. I was in the fucking heated dunk tank that was on the backs of 12 oxen to represent the Mormon settlers blah blah blah. ⁴ 

 AND I CANNOT SWIM AND HAVE A FEAR OF DROWNING! But did that stop them from wanting me to do my "duty" as a Sister™(Trademark is totally needed here) of the Church™? N O p E! 

So, first, let us address the superscripts that I’m sure you all have noticed.

¹ I will be making a post if asked about addressing not only how I came into that situation but why I was willing to get into that situation.

² This was actually never fully clarified to me when I asked questions. And in the interest and pursuit of keeping my then-current home life more tolerable, I chose to act like I accepted the vague answers I received.

 ³ The family I lived with consisted of my best friend, her mother, and her maternal uncle. The uncle and mom had performed a wedding for the deceased for a pair of their ancestors. A video on baptisms for the dead and, honestly, an interesting article about a woman used as an example for an eternal marriage. Finally, another article on the same subject of Eternal Marriage. 

⁴ The twelve oxen mentioned were actually a representation of the Twelve Tribes of Israel. I still believe the oxen are a nod to the fact that oxen would have been a popular animal sought after for the Mormon settlers’ long journey.

Am I completely right? No, absolutely not. I was in the wrong to even act as though I believed in this honestly sacred belief only to abandon it as immediately as the opportunity came to me. I should have been more honest to not only the family I lived with but also my friends and family back home. Do I regret posing as a Mormon for two years in the long run? No. I do not believe that I did terrible deeds a member of the church. In fact, the church taught me a lot of things that I don’t believe I would have learned without this experience and for that I am very grateful.

That’s my rant for now. I do still dearly cherish my best friend and the people I met through the church, but I simply cannot agree with some of the fundamental values that support this institution. I may, again, if requested, go over what are my issues with the church, but for now... I think this will be good for now. I mean, I’m sure we’re about at the third page.

[westfallingforchaol]

Salaam! I’ve started to think that I should just stop apologizing for disappearing for weeks on end because I feel guilty, and then I end up making promises I can never keep, and it becomes a vicious cycle. So, no more apologies. Just that school started, and it’s already kicking my ass. Also, my laptop broke down- I have no clue what happened. One day, it just up and decided to become stupid, and I couldn’t use it for about a week and a half. That happened. But I got it back this afternoon, so I thought I’d start off by doing a much-needed January wrap-up.

Even though I wasn’t blogging much, January was a pretty decent reading month for me. I read a total of 8 books, which is good since I wasn’t reading anything at all the past couple of months. Quality-wise, you probably know how I am by now… it goes up and down. For the most part, the books I read ranged from good to pretty good, and that’s honestly all I can ask, ha. I did read something awful though, but more on that later.

Personal

So… guess who I met? If you don’t follow me on Twitter, you might be unaware of this but I met Zayn a week or so ago. I love him to death- I think he’s both an incredible artist and an incredible human being. I was never a One Direction fan, but I distinctly remember thinking that Zayn was super attractive and had a unique voice; when he went solo, I really began to pay attention to him. Almost a year after his album release, I still listen to his songs almost every single day. I’ve binge-watched interviews and videos and stalked his social media, and he’s such a humble, grounded, adorable person.

Meeting him was incredible. He was so gracious and lovely; when I was taking a photo with him, my hand was shaking out of nerves so he reached out and steadied my phone. He was so kind to all his fans… and just in case you’re wondering, yes, he’s just as attractive in real life. :)

I also saw one of my favorite bands live! I’ve seen Kings of Leon live once before back in 2014, and they’re so incredible that I couldn’t possibly miss their 2017 tour. Protip: there are two things you need to do in your life:

See a rock concert in Madison Square Garden

See Kings of Leon on tour

I won’t pretend like I’ve seen a ton of concerts, but I’ve been to a few big rock ones, and there’s something that sets Kings of Leon apart from the rest. They make sure their fans get their money’s worth of performances. They performed 28 songs. One after the other with minimal pauses in between- so energizing, so rapid-fire but so, so good. If you like even just a couple of their songs, I’d highly recommend seeing them live. Despite not being my favorite band of all-time (that crown goes to Linkin Park) I still prefer their concerts over anybody else’s.

On Choosing a Different Path for Myself

Some of you might know this already, but I’m studying Applied Psychology at NYU. I just started the second semester of my junior year, which means I’ll be graduating in just over a year- which is insane just to think about. But I’ve decided that I want to switch…

Well, not really “switch” per se, but do something more advanced. Which is medicine! Surprise, surprise. When I went to Los Angeles over the winter break, I had a talk with a couple of my relatives, both of whom are psychiatrists. By talking to them and their constant affirmations that I was born to go into medicine, I started thinking. What do I want from my life? What do I want out of my career? And you might judge me for this, and I know this is probably why I’ve been sorted into Slytherin my entire life- I want to be successful. I want to be rich, lol, and I want to work for the money I earn. I want to travel. I want a good house, and a nice car. I want to be able to give my parents the chance to retire and sit back and relax while I am able to fulfill their needs. I want to buy stuff without looking at the price-tag, and I want to be able to give to causes that I support without compromising my day-to-day actions for lack of finances.

But that’s not just it. I wanted to become a psychologist so I could help South Asian youth who suffer from mental illnesses and are stigmatized and dehumanized. And I can do that. I can do that if I become a psychiatrist. I can do something good all while making a decent life for myself and my family. It’s going to take many extra years, particularly because I’ll have to take an extra year after my undergraduate to fulfill my pre-med requirements. But that’s a cost I’m willing to pay, you know? It was a scary decision to make. I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m still not sure I have the brains to get into med school, but you know. I’ll go down with everything I’ve got. It’s honestly a little terrifying, but I’ve enrolled for the first class that’ll help me get there, and I’m ready.

But that’s all I’m going to ramble about. You came here for a reading wrap-up, so here it is!

Reading Wrap-Up

Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon | 1.5 stars | Review

This rating may come as a surprise to many, but I really disliked this book – not because the technical aspects were bad, but because the themes were so offensive that it didn’t sit well with me. I was enjoying it at first; the fun additions of notes and charts and illustrations added character, and I was interested in the character’s experience with her disability. But then the love interest was introduced, which made the book extremely insta-lovey, and that was also when the ableist themes came into play. This book was one big message of: you can’t be happy and you can’t have a normal love-life if you have a disability. Which is wrong on so many levels and completely downplays the experiences of so many. I explain it better in my review, so if you’re interested in learning more, check that out!

Goodreads | Amazon

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo | 3.5 stars | Review

I had high hopes for this book, and for the most part, it did not disappoint. The main character was immediately likable, and you fully empathized with her desire to move on from a traumatic event and to fit in with a new group of people. My favorite aspect of the book was definitely her topsy-turvy relationship with her father; the nuance and complexity of their dynamic definitely added an extra layer to the otherwise happy book. I also thought that the romance was incredibly cute, even though I thought it was a little insta-lovey. Also, let’s talk about how little attention is given to great female friendships in YA- if you’re looking for a good female-friendship dynamic, check this book out. Trigger warning for transphobia, depression, suicide attempt and outing.

Goodreads | Amazon

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire | 2.5 stars

I had very mixed feelings about this book; on one hand, I thought the world-building was incredible. Or rather, the potential for the world-building was incredible. Conceptually, the book was so strong, but I felt that a lot of the potential was wasted in execution. A ton of the world-building happens through dialogue rather than actual action. Which really bummed me out and kept me from enjoying the book. The characters fell flat for me too. I did, however, really enjoy the balance between whimsy and dark; I thought the plot was brilliant, and had it been carried out better, it would’ve definitely gotten a higher rating from me. Look out for my full review!

Goodreads | Amazon

Not If I See You First by Eric Lindstrom | 4 stars

This was perhaps my favorite book of the month, which was a surprise because I didn’t know what to expect when I went into it. I’ve only ever read one other book with a blind protagonist, and this one was completely different in tone from that one. I was wary at first because the protagonist is so bitter and mean and sarcastic, and I approached it with caution because it seemed to give off the vibe that she was that way because she lost her sight. But as the story progressed, as the main character developed and grew through relationships and interactions with the people around her, as she learned more about her past and her life and came to terms with her vulnerabilities, the beauty of the book came to light. It was truly a beautiful book, and another one with really amazing female friendships. Definitely a must-read! And look out for my review!

Goodreads | Amazon

The Young Elites & The Rose Society by Marie Lu | 3.5 stars each

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So, I know I’m late to the game, and I know everyone and their mother loves this series- and I understand why. Even though I didn’t give either book a great rating, I really enjoyed them both and am definitely looking forward to the finale. I think what makes this series stand out so starkly amongst its peers is the fact that it’s basically a villain’s coming-to-power story and then I’m guessing her subsequent downfall. I love the complexity of Adelina’s character; I enjoy how you empathize with her but also constantly criticize her choices because she’s going too far. I love the world-building, and the writing’s solid. I sometimes feel that the secondary characters feel flat, and also that Adelina’s still too likable to be called a villain. I want to see her pushed further so I can fully give her the label of villain, because I don’t think she’s there yet. Which was my main gripe with the second book. I won’t be doing an individual review for each book, but I’ll do a joint review for the trilogy!

Goodreads | Amazon

The Princess Saves Herself in This One by Amanda Lovelace (ARC) | 3.5 stars

I don’t read a ton of poetry, but I picked this one up because I’m mutuals with the author on Twitter, and it won an award, and it’s been getting a ton of hype. It’s basically word porn. I think a lot of the poems in this are incredibly relatable; it covers topics like mental health, body image, family dynamics, loss and death, abusive relationships, moving on, self-love, feminism and strength. A lot of the values I hold myself were reflected in this, and Lovelace definitely has a way with weaving words together so that they say a lot in very few characters. I enjoyed the first two parts of the book much, much more than the last one- which I felt was a little dragged and didn’t fit in with the tone of the other parts. But if you’re looking to get into poetry and aren’t sure where to start, check this out.

Goodreads | Amazon

Life in a Fishbowl (ARC) by Len Vlahos | 3 stars

Okay, so let me preface this by saying that the premise of this book is very misleading. The reality television aspect of it doesn’t come into play until well past the 30 or 40% mark- and believe it or not, I was really, really enjoying the book before the TV part was introduced. Definitely the strongest feature of the book is the writing. Vlahos is incredibly gifted; he’s clearly honed and polished his voice to perfection. It’s snarky, it’s intelligent, it’s satirical and hilarious and also surprisingly simple. Just reading his words made the experience delightful. His decision to tell the story from approximately eight perspectives was a gutsy move, but he pulled it off. The relationships, the themes were all spot on. It’s just that the storyline began to drag after the 60% mark, and the characters didn’t undergo any development, which I would have really liked to see. Even so, this was such a fun, fast-paced book, and I’d recommend it to anyone. Full review to come!

Goodreads | Amazon

Blogging

So, I’ve talked a little already about how I basically failed at blogging this month- I’ve never been so far behind my reviews. Because blogging sucked so much, I’m not going to do a post-to-post wrap-up like I usually do. But I’ll just leave a link to the Diversity Bingo 2017 event that I, and a few other friends are hosting. It’s basically a year-long reading event where you need to read 36 books that fit into a bingo sheet, each fulfilling a facet of diversity. You can find more information (and my TBR) here.

I also compiled a list of the diverse books releasing between January and June of this year. I know that I could have really used a masterlist, and in compiling it, I introduced myself to so many awesome-sounding books. If you’d like to check it out (and share, if you can please!), you can do so right over here.

The last post I’ll feature is my top 10 books of 2016. If you’re interested in seeing what the standouts of last year were, you can check them out here.

Also, I’m making a massive change to the blog- something that I think is important for my sanity, ha. I’m getting a co-blogger! I’ve already spoken to someone about it; she’s a friend that I got to know over Twitter. She’s incredible- kind, open-minded, thoughtful and just super wonderful in general. I’m not going to announce who exactly it is just yet- we’ll do that together when she writes her introduction post and she can officially be integrated into the website. Which also means that a URL change is in order. I can’t have a co-blogger and keep it my name. I’ll purchase the bookshelvesandpaperbacks.com domain soon, so just a heads up!

What I’ve Been Watching and Listening To

So, y’all probably know by now that A Series of Unfortunate Events was released on Netflix, which I binge-watched and freaked out over. The books were such an integral part of my childhood, and it felt so wonderful to revisit the characters and the story. The show stays so true to the books- from the narration to the sets to the whimsical, weird, magical-realism-type tone, everything feels like home. The casting is spot-on. I love Neil Patrick Harris as Count Olaf, and it took me some time to warm up to the children, but I love them all dearly now. Go check the trailer out:

As for music, I’m going to be fully basic and just talk about Zayn a lot more, ha. I barely listened to anything except for his new track with Taylor Swift. I really don’t like her, guys. The fact that the song is the soundtrack for Fifty Shades Darker really doesn’t help, but come on, it’s Zayn. I had to give it a try- and I haven’t stopped listening to it since. I’ve often wanted a version where it was just him singing, and guess what- yesterday, he dropped an acoustic version where it’s just him and a guitar. It’s honestly heaven-sent, and even though it was released in February, I couldn’t go without including it here. Check it out- it almost seems like a completely different song, and I haven’t listened to the original since!

So that’s it for last month’s wrap-up. I know, I had a lot to talk about- it was a busy month and a lot was happening in life. Kudos to you if you made it this far into the post. Let me know in the comments below what your month was like? As always, thanks for stopping by and happy reading!

Connect with me elsewhere:

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Wrap Up | January ’17 Salaam! I've started to think that I should just stop apologizing for disappearing for weeks on end because I feel guilty, and then I end up making promises I can never keep, and it becomes a vicious cycle.

[wispcherry]

huge fan of captain jack "there's a laser weapon in my asshole" harkness.

[729renegades]

BUILDING A BUSINESS FROM SCRATCH – PART 5

  The majority of business owners believe that when they leave formal education the learning stops.

Educated business owners however think differently. They know that to be successful in any field, you have to be prepared to do what others won’t.

For us entrepreneurs this means going to work on ourselves, through personal growth and development; which in turn, impacts both personal life and business growth. Apart from the basic maths and English, formal education doesn’t teach us much.

We’re taught to memorise or copy what’s in front of us. How much thinking did the teachers actually get us to do when we were in school?… Not a lot from memory.

Don’t get me wrong, we learn some very good life skills, make friends and try to enjoy it, but my personal opinion is that the curriculum needs a shakeup. There are vitally important skills that could be taught at schools.

Financial education is one that would help everybody. Is there any wonder the majority of people are in debt? We are not educated in how to manage money. We were never shown. We have to make mistakes, so we can learn from them. A mistake that could set us back years in our adult lives.

Business/entrepreneurialism is another subject that in my opinion should be standard in the national curriculum. For me this should be taught during the first year in secondary school. What a head start that would be for any young budding entrepreneurs.

Even if this is just to give a basic understanding of how business works and encouragement from the teachers for students to be creative and follow their dreams. If this were the case, we’d have a hell of a better understanding and belief than any student leaving school today.

Here’s a staggering statistic… Only 1% of business owners have achieved millionaire status. Think about that for a minute. Just 1%. This is an astonishing statistic compared to the millions of businesses all over the globe.

These 1% think totally different to your average business owner. They understand that their business is only as good as the thinking they bring to the it.

Eventually, every entrepreneur’s thinking peaks, which in turn caps growth, both for them personally and their business. The average business owner however is destined to never hit their full potential because they are ignorant to the fact that they are the lid on their business.

To overcome these limits, you have to make self-education and personal development a priority in your day to day activities.

The 1% make self-education and personal growth a priority in their daily life. As entrepreneurs and business owners, we already lead very busy lives. However, most people are busy being busy, working in their business and not on their business because of their limited thinking. It’s not their fault, they’ve never been educated or shown any other way.

They started a business because they are experienced in that particular sector or skill. Their business is wrapped around them and doesn’t function without them making decisions, and eventually they become trapped in their business.

After years of building the business, it fails to gain any value because the business doesn’t work without its owner. They effectively own a job, and the chances of them selling the business and the financial return if they did would both be very low.

As an entrepreneur, for me personal growth is a non-negotiable daily habit. I have four different strategies which contribute to my personal development.

Strategy 1 – Reading

Every year I set myself a personal goal to read 24 books a year. I achieve this by reading for 1 hour a day. I wake up early, make a coffee and dedicate the first hour of my day to personal growth. I read a range of business, personal growth and mind set books. Some of the world’s most successful entrepreneurs, such as Bill Gates, make reading part of their daily routine. On average Gates reads four books a month, so I also need to up my game. What a fine example Bill Gates is. He’s one of the richest men in the world and is still looking to improve the wealth of knowledge he already has.

We don’t know what we don’t know, and reading is a fantastic way to get educated

Some of the great books I have read, have helped and inspired me to implement the strategies offered. I’ve also had a couple of books that have bored the living hell out of me and couldn’t wait to finish, but I’ve always persevered, stayed focused and seen the book through to the end.  This is because there’s always a chance of a golden nugget of information that just might impact my thinking or business.

My top 5 books that I’d recommend anyone to read are:

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Built to Sell by John Warrillow

The e-Myth by Michael E Gerber

The One Thing Gary W Keller

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Not only have I read these books once, but I’ve read them several times and implemented what I’ve learned.

Reading may not be for everyone, but with technology at our disposal, there are many different ways of listening to books rather than reading. For instance, listening to audiobooks and podcasts is something I do when I’m on the treadmill in the gym or travelling long journeys in the car. It’s simple really, the more you learn the more you earn.

If you’re not a great reader or even a fan of reading, then start with a small goal of one book or audio book a month. The aim is to make reading a daily habit. It takes 30 days for an activity to become a habit. During these 30 days your commitment will be tested to its limits, so stick with it and reap the benefits from educating yourself through another person’s experience.

Strategy 2 – Mastermind Group

Being an entrepreneur and owning your own business can be very lonely place at times. Where or who do you turn to for help, guidance or advise. Most may turn to their friends or family, or even Joe Blogs down the pub. Whoever you turn to for advice you can pretty much guarantee they will not be qualified to answer the questions you pose to them. Not that it’s their fault, it’s just their opinion on what they think is right or what they think you want to hear.

Now, if you’re serious about your business and want to grow it, you need to be part of the mastermind process. Joining a Mastermind Group was the best decision I’ve ever made. My business has grown 200% and my personal life has improved dramatically.

Is your aim to be successful, or to be just like 99% of business owners?  If it’s to be successful, a Mastermind Group will get you there quicker, but only if you’re willing to invest the time and money necessary.

Every day in business we have to make decisions. Decisions that can change the direction of our life.

In part 3 of this series I wrote about the tough decision I had to make three years ago. I had a tremendous opportunity to become part of a Mastermind Group. Like all tough decisions, I had a couple of obstacles and road blocks in my way.

The first, how do I find the time? The second, how could I afford it? Spaces were limited, and I knew I had to act quickly or miss an opportunity of a lifetime. So, I quickly found solutions to the road blocks. I freed up the time by employing a new salesman then sold my brand-new Porsche [this one did hurt a little] which gave me the money to invest in this opportunity. Sorted.

Having put these solutions in place, I joined my Mastermind Group. Now I had my board I couldn’t afford. I had nine other entrepreneurs to help with my challenges and also guidance for me and my businesses.

At our first summit, we all started off as complete strangers, by the end of our three-day summit together, we left as friends. My board I can’t afford are not like Joe Blogs down the pub. These people are entrepreneurs, some in the infancy of their journeys and some who are experienced and successful. What impressed me the most about the group was, some of them had been there and done it in a range of businesses. Which is great, because they’re making me aware of what I’m going to experience in the future. In a way, I’m learning a lesson in business just by listening to their experience.

For me personal growth is a non-negotiable daily habit

Within the group I realised that everyone had something individual and brilliant to bring to the table. We’re all go givers and are there to help each other stretch our thinking and grow our businesses.  It’s great to be a part of everyone’s journey, seeing them grow and develop knowing that you’ve contributed to their success. There’s no better feeling than giving back and helping people achieve their goal and visions.

All very highly successful entrepreneurs are in Mastermind Groups, Buffet, Gates and Branson to name a few. Napoleon Hill’s book ‘Think and Grow Rich’, has helped make more millionaires than any other book in history. He explains a mastermind process best by saying:

“The mastermind may be defined as coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony between two or more people. For the attainment of a definite purpose”.

Imagine the power of ten minds working in perfect harmony, working on your goals and visions. During this process, you hit a different level of awareness. You’re consciously thinking and educating each other. Ten different viewpoints to one question, all from experienced entrepreneurs. That’s the true power of participating in a Mastermind Group.

Mastermind Groups have been around for many years and only seem to be for the highly successful people. It feels like it’s been a big secret between the highly successful. Well, if you’re reading this then it’s no longer a secret.

Do you want you and your business to be highly successful? Do you want to achieve financial freedom? What does financial freedom look like for you? Can you overcome any limiting beliefs that would previously have stopped you from applying for a Mastermind Group?

Opportunities to join groups do not come around often. This maybe the first time you’ve ever read or heard about one. I would advise any business owner who wants to enjoy a fulfilled life and achieve financial freedom to join one and watch you and your business grow.

  To be continued in the next issue…

      from Blog | 729renegades http://bit.ly/2vqszwT

[auburnfamilynews]

Auburn runners got cranked up. (AP Photo/Rogelio V. Solis)

     War Eagle everybody! It’s time now for the Acid Reign Report on a winning Auburn day, visiting the Ole Miss Rebels in Oxford, Mississippi. The offensive line had its best outing of the season, and the offense avoided turning the ball over. There were a number balls dropped on the ground, but Auburn recovered each time. A much maligned, short handed secondary improved dramatically, in a week’s time. Ole Miss roared up and down the field with underneath throws, but things dried up for the Rebels in the red zone dramatically.

     Auburn did a solid job up front on defense, limiting the Rebels to 123 rushing yards, on 39 carries, for just 3.2 yards per carry. Star Ole Miss quarterback Jordan Ta’amu diced up the Auburn defense for 324 yards, mostly in the middle of the field. When it counted 3rd down, or in the Auburn red zone, the Rebels did not manage a touchdown till there was only 2:24 left in the ball game. Auburn was able to get pressure on the quarterback, and Ole Miss converted just 6 of 17 3rd down conversions. The ability to just heave up sideline fade routes on Auburn, disappeared this week.

     This was an improved week on offense for the Auburn Tigers, but it is important to remember that this was against likely the worst defense in the SEC. Ole Miss got pushed around up front at times, and missed a lot of tackles. Once Auburn really got the offense rolling in the 3rd quarter, Ole Miss was back on their heels. On particular play I remember was the 1 yard Malik Miller touchdown run to start the second half scoring. On that give, every Auburn offensive lineman had pushed his man well back into the end zone. In fact, every Auburn lineman was also into the end zone on that run. That’s what will make this offense go!

     Probably the most negative aspect of this game offensively was dropped passes and a couple of fumbles. There were at least 5 dropped passes, including a couple of “unassisted” drops where the receiver was just unable to hold onto the ball. Auburn runners fumbled twice, but both were recovered by a teammate. Auburn still needs to work on not sticking the ball out, and losing control near the goal line.

     Special teams had a decent day overall, and punt fielding was shored up. Where Auburn had a near-disaster this week was fielding a pooch/sky kickoff. Two Auburn guys tried to field the ball at the same time, there was a collision, and the ball rolled toward the Auburn goal line. Auburn recovered at the 4 yard line, thankfully. That could have been a devastating blow, if Auburn had given up an easy touchdown to Ole Miss just before the half! Long field goal woes continue to plague kicker Anders Carlson. Brilliant in every other aspect of his game, Carlson continues to miss the long ones. The coaching staff keeps saying that they aren’t going to call for those anymore, and still end up trying it. The decision to try the 47 yard miss this week, was on 4th and 2 at the Ole Miss 29 yard line. Auburn has a quarterback hitting well over 50 percent of his passes, and a running back that averaged 8.9 yards per carry in this game. Instead, Auburn elected to try a field goal with a kicker that had only hit 1 of 8 field goals from that distance.

Unit grades after the jump!

Defensive Line: A. Auburn’s gap control continues to be excellent, and the line got pressure on the quarterback with just a 4 man rush most of the day. Kudos to Nick Coe, and Marlon Davidson, who were able to put the elusive Jordan Ta’amu on the ground several times. The line had 16 total tackles, including 6 for loss, 5 sacks and 3 quarterback hurries.

Linebackers: A-. Ole Miss just wasn’t able to get much done in the box, aside from a few quarterback draws that succeeded. Those quarterback run plays dried up, as the game progressed. Auburn linebackers were credited with 25 total tackles.

Secondary: B. Auburn gave up some passing yards in this game, against a very dangerous receiving corps. Auburn also had several favorable calls from the officials, with a lucky non-call on what could have been pass interference. There was a big hit from Smoke Monday that was initially ruled targeting, but the flag was picked up after review. I’ve seen plenty of guys ejected for far less. The Auburn corners really came through, picking up the slack after starter Jamel Dean missed this game due to injury. Ole Miss really wanted to pick on these guys, and they were having none of it. Auburn did a good job of keeping Ole Miss receivers in front, and making the tackle. Ole Miss was always going to get some completions, as they will against anybody. What Auburn did was to make them work the whole length of the field, and Ole Miss couldn’t convert drives for touchdowns.

Punting: A. Arryn Siposs had another good day overall, with only one short, 35 yard punt. On the day, Siposs had 3 punts for a 44.7 yard average, and only one return, for next to nothing.

Punt Returns: B. On 4 Ole Miss punts, Ryan Davis had 1 fair catch and 1 reception in traffic and a 4 yard return. Ole Miss did their best to kick away from Davis with low liner punts, and Davis did a decent job keeping rollers from happening as much as possible.

Kick Returns: B. After Noah Igbinoghene crossed the entire width of the field and gained 39 yards on a return, Ole Miss went to the sky-kicks, and forcing Auburn upbacks to make a fair catch. There was a the aforementioned muff, but otherwise this was a good day for the Auburn return unit, as they cost Ole Miss yardage on every other kick.

Place Kicking: A. There were field goal misses from 47 and 45 yards, but a made field goal from closer in. Carlson nailed touchbacks on 4 of 6 kickoffs, and the Ole Miss return unit was ineffective.

Offensive Line: B+. Auburn’s offensive line actually looked like a unit, this game. They weren’t always overwhelming, but protection was good on most pass attempts, and these guys were able to help the running game take off. There was one holding call on reserve tackle Austin Troxell, who had been forced into action due to an injury to starting right tackle Jack Driscoll. The holding call was so poor that it caused Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn to go into tirade mode, and the head coach drew a 15 yard penalty on top of it all.

Running Backs: B+. I have to count off for a few ball security issues here, but none resulted in turnovers. I really loved how the guys ran hard in this game, and JaTarvious Whitlow is really a guy who knows how to use his blockers. Some of the other guys aren’t as patient. Auburn made a big effort this week to mix in more sweeps and off-tackle plays, and some of Auburn’s runners don’t wait for the pulling guards to get around, and engage defenders.

Receivers: B-. There were more drops in this one, including a couple of uncontested drops. We have been calling for involving speedy freshmen Anthony Schwartz and Seth Williams to get the ball more, the past few games. That pair contributed 5 touches for 125 yards, this week. Darius Slayton had a couple of clutch catches, 1 inside the 5, and the other converted a crucial 3rd down late in the game, and allowed Auburn to run clock.

Quarterback: A-. Stidham showed vast improvement, this week. He did not throw any balls at Ole Miss defenders, and looked comfortable in the pocket for the first time this season against an FBS foe. There were some wise throw-aways, too, instead of forced balls. Stidham is still throwing some balls a bit too high, but this week he was close enough that receivers were mostly able to go get them. The stat line shows 13 completions in 22 attempts, but in reality there were about 5 dropped passes in this one, which translates to a pretty good day statistically. Even with the drops, Stidham managed 9.7 yards per pass, which is a good performance.

     I am glad to see the “no bowl” bugaboo get mostly put to rest, this week. Now, Auburn can focus on just getting better and better, each week. I’m not feeling at all confident that Auburn can beat Alabama this year, or that anyone can, for that matter. I got my first extended viewing of the Tide since opening week, yesterday. Scary football team! However, I think Auburn has the talent to beat the rest of the teams on the schedule, with a defense that can play with anybody. It’s just a matter of eliminating the awful mistakes.

     Thankfully, Auburn has a bye week next Saturday, which should allow some of the walking wounded to heal. The off-week comes at a good time, after a positive outing against Ole Miss. Coming off the bye on November 3rd, Auburn hosts Texas A&M, then visits Georgia. The Aggies tend to wilt a bit in November, which should help Auburn. LSU gave us the blueprint for how to beat Georgia. Shut down their running game, and make the quarterback perform. That didn’t happen, against LSU, and Auburn has the players to repeat that performance. Auburn hosts Liberty the week before the Iron Bowl, presumably for a tune-up game. However, Liberty has been winning, this year. They beat Troy, a couple of Saturdays ago. I don’t see them getting the upset at Jordan Hare, though.

The post Auburn Takes Down Ole Miss. (Grading Auburn’s 31-16 win at Ole Miss.) appeared first on Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog.

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[mynosejob]

4 Years On

Four years ago today, aged 20, I had a nose job. My family and my closest friends knew, but when I rocked up to start my third year of University – it came as a surprise to a lot of people, I was there with a slightly different face and a lot more confidence. In the last four years, a lot more than just the shape of my nose has changed, but I’m not sure I would be where I am now if it wasn’t for having it done, but perhaps I would. So after reminiscing through the post and looking at hilarious pictures of me post op, I thought I would clear out my brain and share a few thoughts 4 years post rhinoplasty.

Pre-op

Post-op

New Nose, No Problems?

I thought getting a nose job would fix everything in my life - my confidence and my idea of how I thought people viewed me. It did not. In my first and second (and only) blog posts, I talk about why I had my nose job done. From the age of about eleven, when puberty hit, I had a nose that in my opinion was large for my face and had a huge bump on it, was crooked and turned down. Actually, that is my opinion of what my nose was, now reflecting back on it. If you’d have asked me before I’d had it done, age 20, or age 13, or anywhere in between, I would firstly have not answered because I skilfully managed for almost ten years to avoid conversations about parts of the body I dislike about myself, in fear of drawing more attention to it. But, in my own mind, with my own hatred for myself, I would have said that it was hideous and ugly, or simply that I was hideous and ugly. I was bullied for the best part of secondary school, sometimes just little comments here and there, sometimes I’d be the featured graffiti on our local playground. I was told that I was hideous, I was called ‘IT’, I was told that no boys would ever want me or love me. It wasn’t long before I believed it.

I would sit in my bedroom googling a multitude of things including; 'How to be pretty’ 'How to get people to like you’ 'How to make your nose look smaller’ 'How to get boys to like you’ 'How to look hot’ 'How to stop being ugly’ 'Actors with bumps on their noses’ 'Actresses with big noses’ 'How to do a summer make-over’ It is safe to say, I had a cripplingly low self-esteem. The amount of tears I used to cry just from looking at my reflection, isn’t something I’m proud of. I saw myself as someone unworthy and unloveable but knew inside that I was a kind, loving, intelligent person. ‘If I could be pretty, finally I will be good enough.’

I wanted a nose-job from the age of eleven or twelve, I don’t really remember. So when I finally booked in that operation, I thought it would make everything better.

Beauty, The Beast

Beauty is a concept I sometimes really struggle with. I can find beauty in so many things and so many people. Whether it’s beauty in the way a child laughs with their parent, or in a construction of a building or the magic of the mind – I notice things and I get fascinated about the world and its wonders. I see people and I see good in them. I hear when people say negative things about themselves and I wonder how on earth they could possibly think that because I see them so beautifully. I pride myself on that. I am an intelligent woman, I am creative, I have a heart full of an unlimited amount of love and care. I am a fantastic daughter and sister and auntie. I am open-minded and I am accepting of others. I am brave, determined, hard-working, a brilliant listener, generous and sometimes funny. These are qualities I’ve championed in myself and worked to nurture and expand my whole life. Yet I would never call myself beautiful. When I look at the words I describe myself as, I know that they are important, that they are the traits that matter and external beauty is merely the way society is brainwashing us to believe we have to look a certain way to be accepted. It’s not just the media telling us how we should look, it’s on our phones now, every time we open-up a social media website, there is something suggesting a quick-fix to make ourselves a better, more ‘beautiful’ version of ourselves. Whether it’s the latest diet, the intense scrutiny of a celebrity or a filter giving us the opportunity to make our skin less blotchy and our eyes a little brighter. But we all know that – we know what it’s doing, we know that what we see isn’t real, and yet still, for a lot of people, we want it.

New Nose News

I would never call myself beautiful. I never have. Not even post nose-job. I used to hate my nose, now I just mostly dislike my new one. Some days I look at myself in the mirror and I am over the moon with how I look, I feel confident, I feel sexy, I feel pretty. But all it takes is a photo, a video clip, seeing myself in the CCTV screen in Morrisons every morning when I walk through it, to knock me out of my bubble and to make me feel crappy about myself. I see a crooked nose still, I see a nose too wide on the bridge because they didn’t shape it properly, I see a nose too big for my face, I see an upturn on my nose, I see nostrils too big at the sides, I see one side a different shape to the other, I see a dent on the left side of my nose, I see pores, I see glasses that don’t quite fit properly, I see a nose too gigantic for my face when I take photos, I see a nose that gets even worse when I smile. But on top of that, because I’m not seeing a humungous bump like before, I am seeing every other part of my face and disliking that as well. After my first year post-op, I tried to get the surgeon to make some edits, he said no, he said my nose was lovely. He also said that the tip of my nose had to remain thick because of the thickness of my skin – that is stuff that googling doesn’t tell you.  I basically still have a lot to work on in my own mind about how I see myself.

Yet all this being said, it is still one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. The amount of confidence I have gained through having surgery, is priceless. Before I used to think about how I looked any free moment my brain had to wander. Now I don’t. Now it’s just an unfortunate thought that pops into my head when I really don’t want it to. I no longer feel like I have to hide. I have taken more photos in the last year of my life with friends, with family, of myself, more than I possibly ever have. Not every photo ends in tears. But I finally have photographs I can celebrate as memories and inside of focusing on my face, I can look at the picture and think, what a glorious day with wonderful people. I won’t hide behind my glasses, in fact I usually take off my glasses for photos, or for days where I want to feel good about myself. I am no longer hiding and that is a beautiful feeling in itself.

CHILDREN OF THE FUTURE

It upsets me, beyond imagine, when I think of the way beauty is viewed. I am an auntie and one day I hope to be a mum, more than anything else in the world. The thought of any child growing up in this negative society fills me with dread and an urge to do anything I can to make a difference to that. I’m not so sure I know what that is yet. I hate how much technology has played a part in my formative years. I love it – because technology is incredible, but I also despise it. So, to know that the children of today are being born into a world where they are immersed into a world of Photoshop, filters, swiping and selfies from the moment they arrive in this world, it breaks my heart. My parents told me I was beautiful. They, particularly my mum, gave me incredible role models who championed brains and kindness above anything else and I do. So, it wasn’t even something they could do to make my self-confidence stronger. I fear for how young people will view themselves. I fear for how young people will view others. We are breeding a toxic view of beauty in the world and it isn’t okay. It will only get worse. As a society we are gradually being more accepting of people who do not fit a certain criteria, but it isn’t enough.

Pictures are key – everyone, everywhere has something they want us to see. So rather than switching off and pretending it all doesn’t exist. Maybe it is time that we all look. Really look. If we look hard enough we can see that the images surrounding us are more often than not, impossibly perfect. We should talk about it, we should acknowledge it, we should challenge it.

We should talk about beauty in a positive way.

When I used to work with young people regularly, I would hear children, girls mostly, rip themselves apart over a lunch break. Girls as young as 10. Everyone should teach their children to not be a bully. But equally, everyone should teach their children to not be a bully to themselves. We need to find ways of teaching self-love, celebrating every part of us, inside and out. Children need to learn the language of self-love and feel comfortable in complimenting themselves, in calling out what they love because what they have in themselves is unique. Children need to see pictures of people of all different physical appearances.In fact, adults need to see that too.

I don’t have a solution to this problem. But if we don’t start to tackle it, in ten years time the world is going to be having a population with lower-self esteem than anyone could imagine. My self esteem was crushed from a bunch of horrible comments made when I was at school. Imagine that, all day, every day, and there is no voice to it, it just slowly becomes the voice inside your head because you see everywhere that you are not good enough or that you should b a certain way. It has to stop! A letter to my future children and anyone else who needs to hear it ... To whoever is reading this; your beauty exists, whether you want to believe it or not. There is not just one type of beauty, not one type of colour your hair, your eyes, your skin should be. There is not one size you should be, one height, one weight. There is not a certain angle your nose should slant at that decides whether or not your are beautiful. Your beauty is not how thick your eyebrows have to grow or how smooth your skin has to look. It is not the amount of hairs that exist on or off your body, it is not the whiteness of your teeth or the plumpness of your lips. Externally, an amalgamation of every inch of you is what makes you beautiful.

If you find yourself, in a place where I have found myself so many times, that you are caring about your external beauty, even when so many people tell you it is only the internal beauty that matters, there are things I want you to know. You are unlike any one to exist on this planet, that ever has existed, that ever will. When you are made to feel bad about looking different in any sort of way, it is because not everyone has been taught that the most beautiful thing of all is a kind heart. A lot of people who try to look the same is because they are scared too, or too scared to appear different because they know sometimes how cruel people can be. Your differences are what make you magic.   If you are ever worried that someone wont find you beautiful, that someone won’t find you sexy, or desirable, if you ever feel like no one will fall in love you. YOU ARE WRONG. There are people in this world who will fall head over heels in love with the things that you see in yourself that you may not like. There are people in this world whose idea of perfect is someone who looks like you.  

The way you view yourself should not depend on what other people say, how other people feel, but there is also a good chance that from time to time it might.

Experiment with make-up, dye your hair, get a nose job if you really want to. But know that you are enough. You are more than enough, exactly how you are. Remember, that ‘flawless’ skin, a ‘perfect’ nose, whatever - will look ugly if you are ugly on the inside. Be kind to everyone. Fill the world with love and fill your brain with happiness, music, knowledge, adventures, experiences and fun. For then you will shine and you will make people of every sort feel as good about themselves as they deserve to feel. Those who make you feel bad, they are not worth being a place in your heart or being a worry in your mind. Hopefully if/when I have children, I will have come to terms with my body. Or maybe even in the next four years. Or maybe, because we are all human, this will be a never-ending battle with ourselves. You are beautiful. Always. (Even when you feel like crap and have greasy hair, sweaty feet, more spots than you’d like, I promise). xx

Today - after possibly 100 attempts to get a photo I was happy with. Here I am, 4 years on, no make-up, spots, eyes different size, nose with a bit of a curve, barely a brush through my hair...  4 years on, overall, I am the happiest I have ever been. Unfortunately, I would say my nose job has a huge amount to do with that.  Come on future, we can be better than this. We have to. 

[365daystofeelgood]

The End is Nigh....Of a Poor Lifestyle

They say the average person should be taking in around 2000-2500 calories a day for an adequate nutritional intake. At face value, this may seem true but there are a few rules. Eat healthily, do not have too many carbs, too much sugar or too much salt. For me, I have always struggle with weight loss. Before starting my nurse training, I lost around 11 stone over a good few years. Again, like most yo-yo dieters I put on a few stone which I would like to thank Nando’s and the NHS discount scheme for working so well a mere 2 minutes from University.

They say some people have brilliant metabolism, I have a brilliant appetite. Before losing all the weight previously I could easily eat a good 2 takeaways in one day and still have a dinner. I could drink my body weight (which was a lot) in fizzy drinks and still look for energy drink supplements. I managed to go down to an amazing 32 waist from 48. Funny that. Now my waist is hitting the 40 again although I would say I am a 29, since November I have lost an inch. The big question is how do you control something that is important to human existence, food intake? I know that most people cannot eat and require special supplements and liquid products to maintain a healthy weight. I think to myself how does a liquid diet contain so many calories but I am always reminded that it a nutrition booster.

Food has always been a weak spot for me. By the time I reached secondary school I was fitting in to adult sized clothes. Perhaps people would say it was my parents fault for feeding me so much junk but then there is also emphasise needed on the individual. Even a child, adolescent, young person or however you want to describe has control over what they eat and how much they are putting into their bodies. They may not understand the ins and outs of a good diet but they understand what are good foods and what are bad foods, portion control and portion gluttony. Perhaps my issue was I used food as a crux, a comfort tool during my childhood. I was never the popular child, bullied, picked on and depressed at life. Gosh, how I wish I could return to my old self now and say it gets better. I would also say to my old self to eat better and not waste so much money when at school. Tough times pass, those who bullied were often the cool kids who are now single parents, broke or on the bottom of the poverty line (unless Karma is still waiting to come).

Recently, I have had a bad run of ill health. I have picked up multiple chest infections with two hospital admissions. Recent heart palpitations and a GI bleed are nothing to shy away from. Furthermore, I was glad when I went to the doctor regarding my energy levels I was glad my blood results showed that the issue was not me being lazy but vitamin deficiencies in the body. But, I have realised, more so than ever, that my health is very important. Five years ago, I wouldn’t care less. I would eat and drink alcohol, party and do stupid things (not drug related I should say), but now I constantly think to myself I am 30 next year and need to look after my health and body. Too much damage has been done, but, there is still time to save myself and to improve my life, body and mind.

When you are really fat, you want to lose weight, become slimmer and look good but the frustration lies in this not happening overnight. It occurs as a process, a full time process requiring constant surveillance and monitoring. The key is not to give up, under any circumstance. It is probably better, in retrospect, to make the mistakes and recover. In retrospect, do not take for granted the fact you have lost weight as this can go back on veeeery quickly (remember, it is easier to put on weight as opposed to losing weight. Fat cells are stretched and just greedily waiting to be filled again). A key thing, know how far you want to go, this is hard. People do not know when enough is enough and not seeing the weight loss is worse than not losing weight at all. And as a side note, do it for yourself. Personally, I want to get to around 12 stone with some muscle increase.

2018 will be the year I change who I am. I want to become healthier and more fit. I would like to tone my stomach somewhat. I genuinely believe this will improve my energy levels, mood and help control my appetite. At the moment, I have a flabby tummy (cuddly in a liberal world) and lots of stretch marks. These stretch marks to me are battle scars of my past accomplishments telling me to keep going. But, realistically, another thing for me is the idea that relationships are important. Sadly, the gay community are unforgiving and the American Dad quote of “straight thin is gay fat” is very true. Even being slim does not help unless you look good but guys will fuck a toned body (stupid and fickle I know). So I guess this will be a confidence boost as well.

 Purpose of the Blog

As you are aware, I blog about different issues interesting to me. These issues range from social research, sexuality, HIV, pain, medicine, technology politics etc. Now, I will be doing what I will be calling the 365 days to feel good blog. It will be a diary of my accomplishments during my weight loss journey. It will be testament to my desire to do good. There will be tough times and hard moments. I know there will be slip ups and mishaps along the way but I will keep it all here. I believe things likes cutting out fizzy drinks, a more active lifestyle (yes, nursing is not active enough to lose weight when we are inundated with chocolates) and some life choices will help.

I doubt this will be the next big thing, but it may help inspire others. It may help track progress and it may help me stay on track. So let the journey begin shall we. Wish me luck!!!

[myipscrapbook]

How to Do Nothing by Jenny O’Dell.

Below are my real-time thoughts as I read How to Do Nothing by Jenny O’Dell. It took me the whole studio time because I kept stopping to write my thoughts out. TL;DR: I’m blown away by the relevance of O’Dell’s ideas to my IP project and my life, by the quality of the writing, and by the variety of sources, both personal and secondary. Incredible. So glad this exists.

1:39pm: I'm feeling nervous about finishing a draft tonight, but I need to appreciate that this draft doesn't need to be perfect. Despite how great yesterday's meeting was, only just now I found myself failing to provide a simple sentence to someone describing what my project will be. The form is still up in the air. Those tasks I had been told to do after yesterday's meeting, I haven't done them yet. So, instead of fretting over organizing my homework or my proposal, I'm just going to do those tasks first. Step one: read How to Do Nothing by Jenny O'Dell. 

1:52: I'm reading How to Do Nothing, and I had to stop to write about how great this piece is so far. It starts from personal experience, walking in a rose garden, then describes O'Dell's work, with a touch of humor, but then also generously describes other people's works that also revolve around creating structures that reframe our experience of the overlooked into an act of appreciation. I'm at a part of the article where O'Dell is talking about labyrinths, and it reminded me of how Sophia mentioned that this process is actually revealing a common thread throughout my 4 years here, because I also am fascinated by mazes and labyrinths– getting lost in order to rediscover something, or as the article begins, being silent in order to discover what's worth saying. 

There's a difference between mazes and labyrinths. Mazes have an entrance and an exit; Labyrinths only have one entrance/exit. Mazes are prisons, like for the minotaur. (I know the myth says he was trapped in a labyrinth but it meant a maze-like structure... confusing) In a Maze, the aim and excitement is to escape, to get out. Labyrinths are not about escaping; you know that you'll end up back where you started. No, they're about getting lost, meandering, and returning changed and refreshed. They're designed, like the rose garden in O'Dell's piece, for people to stop and smell the roses. To observe and reflect. Labyrinths "make it possible not to walk straight through a space, nor to stand still, but something very well in between." 

^O’Dell

 I seriously can't believe how much this is related to my previous thoughts, inside and outside of the classroom. In Jennifer Metsker's writing class a year ago, I wrote about mazes, labyrinths, time capsules, observation/appreciation of the mundane. All before I really got involved with M-BARC's time capsule, and well before my IP thought process began. It's amazing how all these things are connected. 

Libraries are like labyrinths. I enjoyed getting lost in the special collections archives. When I had to retrieve a book, I took my time back there, and took plenty of photos. I mean, a lot of photos. The categorization and tall Richard Serra bookshelf canals encouraged curiosity. There's a whole alleyway of every Don Quixote edition and translation one can imagine, all the same, and all completely different. 

(weird panoramas are good) 2:10: Now she's connected the practice of Deep Listening to Bird Watching, or really "Bird Noticing."  Can't help but think about iNaturalist, and how the app has restructured how I move through the world. Now I pay attention to strange new birds, insects, plants, all around me. I learn their names. I observed what a ladybug larvae looks like, and how it looks when it turns into an adult, and all this I've done because of this app. Isn't interesting that a system, an architecture of noticing, can be as simple as a phone app?? 

2:14: Watching birds and deep listening really requires DOING NOTHING. (Reminds me of Bored and Brilliant, and The Abramovic Method, which shows how sometimes its hard to do nothing. http://www.wnyc.org/story/marina-abramovic-goldberg-performance-art/ )

 2:19: Noticing things increases the granularity of attention: you begin to notice AND IDENTIFY everything you never noticed before. O'Dell Compares this to realizing her mother spoke not 2 but 3 languages. 

"With effort, we can become attuned to things, able to pick up and then hopefully differentiate finer and finer frequencies each time." 

This is essentially the moral of the Parable of the Sunfish.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_Sunfish

(And It's worth mentioning Robin Sloan's great app, Fish, about using this parable to better understand our relationship to observing the river of internet articles we share and never return to every day. "To return is an act of love" writes Sloan. I agree. To pay attention, to listen, is an act of love, too.) 

2:22: What's great about this article is that O'Dell always ties together her examples in concise language that gets to the root of their commonality. For example: (emphasis mine)

"What these moments of stopping to listen have in common with those labyrinthine spaces is that they all initially enact some kind of removal from the sphere of familiarity. Even if brief or momentary, they are retreats, and like longer retreats, they affect the way we see everyday life when we do come back to it."

 She's investigating these examples and revealing to herself and the reader why they matter, and what their effect is. Christo and Jeanne-Claude's work would fit nicely into this collection– certainly an architecture designed to defamiliarize oneself with the landscape.

 2:28: Now she's connecting many examples by their common underground aspect, and how it works to remove us from our environment, or context. 

 2:30: Now connecting it to John Muir's life?? And his near loss of vision, which convinced him to reconsider to what end he was using his senses to appreciate his world.... I never knew all this. (Only a few paragraphs ago she briefly mentioned Rebecca Solnit's description of an earlier example... How many people and places are mentioned in this piece?? And yet it all flows so naturally; none of it feels forced.) 

And then transitions it to her dad's experience of removal! Always tying it back to personal experiences (Why has this mattered to others? --> Why does this matter to you?) There is a structure to this whole piece in this way. Also, John Cleese managed to slip in too. 

2:36: ..."the granularity of attention we achieve outward also extends inward" What a realization. Reminds me of Robert Krulwich's commencement speech https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AA2JtZ_7yE  (love that man) about sitting on a rock, uncertain about his future, and just, sitting. And thinking. His granularity of attention increased internally... He realized not only why he was unhappy as a lawyer, but why he was unhappy seeking a perfect love life, a reframed what his goals were. There are SO MANY IDEAS in this article. God I should print it out to keep on my desk. 

2:45: Great paragraph on "Bios." What is my "bio"? What is my artist statement? How do I describe myself? 

2:46: The precarity of nothing: A new section does a turn that Metsker would approve of: points out an obvious critique of this logic (one I admit I hadn't thought of at first.) 

2:50 This article is taking an interesting turn into what the value of public spaces is, and the value of doing "what we will." The value of doing things that have no economic purpose. I can feel guilty about doing things that have no economic purpose.

This reminds me of 17776, the speculative fiction published this summer about a world in which, for some reason, everyone stops dying and being born. All of us here, we live forever, and no one else will. Without death, the whole idea of "spending time productively" falls apart, and with it many Americans' sense of purpose. After a few decades, a century, people begin to get past this capitalist mode of life-meaning, and start to spend their time, well, playing. In this story, it focuses on how immortal everyday americans play football in a future with no end. It's absurd and oddly beautiful at parts. 

 2:57: Took a break and ran into Franc. Told him I was reading the How to Do Nothing, and how excited I was by it. He said he enjoys looking at my blog and seeing what I'm thinking about, and feels that I'll know exactly what I want to do real soon. 1. I'll never stop being surprised this blog gets read. 2. That vote of confidence is really encouraging. I'm starting to feel the same way. I also told him that I got the invite to the dinner with Mark Dion: "That's the way to do it," Franc said. Feeling great. 

 3:02: 

"The removal of economic security for working people — 8 hours for work, 8 hours for rest, 8 hours for what we will — dissolves those boundaries so that we are left with 24 potentially monetizable hours that are sometimes not even restricted to our time zones or our sleep cycles." 

Oh my god. That Uber game taught me exactly this unsettling point. Every hour of one's day became a resource for Uber to mine for money, at the expense of one's quality of life. 

3:17:  

"I know that in the months after the election, a lot of us found ourselves searching for this thing called ‘truth,’ but what I also felt to be missing was just reality, something I could point to after all of this and say, this is really real." 

I am blown away that this O'Dell reached this point in this same article. This is what I was grasping at very early this semester, but I never imagined it would in any way be connected to this other topic, of slow observation and "doing nothing." Perhaps close observation of the tangible world around us IS a way of addressing Truth. 

I am reminded of my conversation with Julian, the Arcade Cellist, the one who was spouting off his beliefs that we never landed on the moon, and that the earth is flat. However, after an hour and a half talking, he gets to this point:

“The things you know are real to you every day in your hand. You can see them. The things we don’t know, they’re everywhere. ... This is real to me."

“This” being his cello, his music. And he started playing a beautiful song, and I could at least appreciate what he meant. 

Photo credit @Mark Bialek. My 4min Audio Piece:

https://drive.google.com/a/umich.edu/file/d/0BwjQk6D2fHggZFVMclJLdVBrYTQ/view?usp=sharing

Since the election, and even in the months leading up to it, I've considered deleting my facebook, or at the very least avoiding it. Not avoiding the NEWS, but the chatter. Looking at sidewalks and fire hydrants and bugs, walking outside, felt very grounding. This article feels very validating because I haven't talked to anyone about this feeling, that it can feel refreshing to take stock of the immediate truths around you, the air and the sidewalk, the flowers and trees. Playing the cello. There's no agenda to it, no politics, no hate, only greater attention and understanding.

This is also what made David O'Reilly's game Everything so profound to play; It was a game based on this idea of doing nothing, and appreciating being a member of this world, on par with the microbes and birds and comets. There's literally a game mechanic for announcing you exist, or that "I am,' called "singing," as well as a game mechanic for "dancing," or moving with others of a similar type, not towards a destination, but for the sake of moving. Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that NOT economically productive? Isn't that all that really matters? 

 3:29: Oh god O'Dell's talk about Herons, and posting photos of them on twitter, is exactly what I've been doing with bugs and creatures around town. The Grey Cross Spider that greets me on my way into North Quad. The Boxelder Bugs that welcome me into the Duderstadt. 

(Hello cricket!)

Hell, this is how I used my Snapchat stories this summer, even now sometimes. I stopped uploading photos of myself or what I was doing, and instead I started to share videos of ducks. and squirrels. and swans. and caterpillars. and clouds. And I really liked it. And I even got comments from one or two friends that they really liked it too. Who knew Snapchat could be a place not explicitly for making others jealous about your social life? Maybe it could be a place for moments like these. 

 3:35: oh my god, I can't say how many times my brother and I have talked about befriending crows. It's on our bucket list. My brother loves loves loves birds in a very similar manner to O'Dell here. He once tried to make friends with crows by laying out peanuts like this, but they always got swiped by a seagull. Pssh. In a past life, I imagine that my brother was a Default Wren™. That's what we call those wrens, you know the ones, the Default brown birds everywhere. Here's an audubon picture of one: 

3:43: This is just unreal. O’Dell arrived at the same point I reached at 3:17... This “direct sensuous reality” is like a “life raft,” as it was for Julian, the arcade cellist. The fact that she writes this following the election, and that I had the same response to the election in my life, is validating, because like I said, you don’t see this perspective at all on social media. 

“I am not an avatar, a set of preferences, or some smooth cognitive force. I’m lumpy, I’m an animal, I hurt sometimes, and I’m different one day to the next. I hear, I see, and I smell things that hear, see, and smell me. And it can take a break to remember that, a break to do nothing, to listen, to remember what we are and where we are.”

People aren’t encouraged to talk about the mundane tactile world on social media. We’re encouraged to share things of “importance” and social merit, and to deliver our opinions on articles. I don’t ever share images of mundane findings on facebook; no one does. Nothing screams "boring person” than posting images like that. But maybe I am boring! Or at least by this definition of interesting and boring, I totally am. There’s a lot of shame in doing something “unproductive.” And anyways, there’s FAR more important things out there to post about than my day-to-day social life, and my political hot-takes. Seriously. And just as scandals and outrage is important, so too is taking the time to appreciate the immediate world you’re a part of, so you can react thoughtfully to these events.

I remember this summer, when I was thinking about my IP project, I was so angry, and I felt I was OBLIGED to address Donald Trump, yet I was exhausted by his existence and the hatred around the issues that he inflamed. It was all distracting from the importance underneath those issues. I stepped away from facebook for a while, and talked with my brother about my thoughts on this, and his advice for me was not to make something that directly talked about Donald Trump, but rather identify and address what angers me about him. I realized that what angered me most about him is his distorted view of all sorts of Americans. I remember realizing in this moment, AHA! I know what I’ll do! I’ll talk to my neighbors! I’ll interview my neighbors about their lives. Because my block is home to people of many religions, backgrounds, countries of origin, passions, jobs. It’s home to people of a variety of lawn care regiments and any number of children. It’s a New Jersey block. My block is America. Talking to my neighbors is a way for me to tangibly grasp on to what America is. It’s immediate and it’s real. It’s Truth. 

Although I didn’t know it at the time, that’s precisely what spoke to me about that concept. I didn’t have enough time in the summer to execute on this idea, but I instead I put myself in more conversations with my neighbors, and in that way, was trying to appreciate being a part of their community. Doing nothing taught me what I needed to do. 

 “It’s a kind of nothing that’s necessary for, at the end of the day, doing something.” –––This.  4:07: 

...“self care “is poised to be wrenched away from activists and turned into an excuse to buy an expensive bath oil.” 

Exactly. This kind of “self-care,” this kind of “doing nothing,” is not/should not be misconstrued as disengagement, but is actually really its own form of engagement. Especially after this past election, it felt like you had no agency in the shitshow. But this kind of “doing nothing” can help clarify what true agency you DO have, so that you know what sorts of actions you CAN do that will have a positive effect.  4:15: My computer dies... I go back to central campus to charge...

4:34:  “Doing nothing teaches us how to listen.” In this context, this means listen to OTHERS. 

4:35: (emphasis mine)

“But even with the problem of the filter bubble aside, the platforms that we use to communicate with each other about very important things do not encourage listening. They encourage shouting, or having a “take” after having read a single headline.” 

Oh man, this is what I was thinking at 3:43. 4:38: Connectivity vs Sensitivity. Sensitivity is more time, so, “too expensive.”

4:40: 

“So, self preservation and the cultivation of sensitivity — these are two somethings we might get from nothing. But there’s one more: an antidote to the rhetoric of growth.”

O’Dell zooms out here, but is also really squeezing the most out of this idea. The article could’ve wrapped up here, but it has more to say. These insights don’t come without plenty of time spent sifting through these ideas. This medium article is a goddamn thesis. 4:49: This section about daily care, routine maintenance, vs growth, “progress,” disruption– it reminds me a lot of the issues confronted in the tech world with the quantified self, fitbits and the impulse to one-up your best mile run time, or to beat your friends. 

This is actually what I decided to focus my sci fi prototype project for this month on. If some tech is designed to make us more competitive, can tech be designed to make our lives more routine, daily, reflective lives? Continued daily practice and care and work is so meaningful and underrated compared to “working smarter, not harder” and “innovation.” O’Dell also points out the gendered nature of these topics. 4:58: The point O’Dell makes about Solnit’s Paradise Built in Hell is exactly what I felt about recent Stamps Lecture Series speaker Keiji Ashizawa’s work in Ishinomaki following the 2011 earthquake in Japan. Ashizawa immediately worked towards bringing people together to rebuild as a community. For the terror of that disaster, this kind of work is the most noble and rewarding sort I can imagine there is. 

(When Rebecca Solnit came to campus last February, she opened her lecture up to questions. I waited on line to ask her what she would recommend we put in the Bicentennial Time Capsule, regarding her speech on “generational amnesia.” There was no time left in the lecture to answer all the questions, but she let the remaining people on line speak their questions anyway. So I go the honor of asking Solnit a question, although not the pleasure of hearing her response.)

5:03: 

“And I’m suggesting that we fiercely protect our human animality against all technologies that actively ignore and disdain the body, the bodies of others, and the body of the landscape that we inhabit.”

  This section is a call to action. Metsker would approve. Nicely paired with images of Elon Musk and Soylent. This was the theme of Robin Sloan’s book Sourdough, which heavily features a soylent-type brand. 

Emphasis mine:

“There are certain people who would like to use technology to live longer, or forever. Ironically, this desire is a perfect illustration of the death drive from the Maintenance Manifesto (“separation, individuality, Avant-Garde par excellence; to follow one’s own path — do your own thing; dynamic change”). To such men I propose that a far more parsimonious way to live forever is to exit the trajectory of productive time, so that a single moment might open almost to infinity. As John Muir once said, “Longest is the life that contains the largest amount of time-effacing enjoyment.” 

CLAP CLAP CLAP 5:23: I finished the article and spent time listening to the silence of the Gordon Hempton “Desert Thunder” track, linked to at the end. This article is a lot to process. 

IN CONCLUSION

I am so glad Jenny O’Dell synthesized these ideas so well and put these words out into the world. I look forward to reading her other writings and looking at more of her work, which she reflects on briefly to close this piece. 

O’Dell says she doesn’t know what’s next for her, or what all these thoughts add up to. I don’t either for myself, but I’m very excited to see what she ends up doing next. Same goes for me.