#just SO many triple triad tournaments

[sugawarakoushi]

so little stands between me and victory....but so much

[griefandpunishment]

Written in the Stars

I have addressed this on Squall’s carrd, but I also want to do a write up here of how Squall came to be an astrologian within FFXIV, and how he goes about using it.

1 :: Origins

Squall obtained his Astrologian soul stone during an underground Triple Triad tournament. Officially within Eorzea, games like Triple Triad, Mahjong, and all the attractions at Gold Saucer are only permitted to be rewarded with MGP, not genuine currency. Underground tournaments for Triple Triad go against this, betting real gil and items. The soul stone had passed many hands, unused, until it arrived in the grand prize that day, and Squall walked away with it.

Of course, a stone does not make an Astrologian -- it grants enough to use, but not all the knowledge and history that are attached to it. An ordinary person, like those who had come before him, would likely pass along the stone yet again. 

2 :: Methodology

With no teacher, Squall’s comprehension of the seven gates would remain limited. What he did know is that the healing tapped into the power of space, time, and cards -- all things he had some degree of interested or draw toward. So...he ended up applying Triple Triad rules to his usage.

Providing party buffs requires a total of three cards, rather than the one to begin with. Cards are divided similarly to traditional astrologian -- however he refers to Lord of Crowns/Melee type cards as 'Reds' and Lady of Crowns/Caster type as 'Blues'. They are considered more or less oppositional, just as one player takes Red and one takes Blue in Triple Triad. The sigils are instead interpreted as numbers: Crescent: 1 Moon: 2 Sun: 3 Squall's HUD, for reference, would look as such:

The baseline goal is to get a full set of one colour. He can Play at one, two, or three rows. However, there is also an extra mechanic -- the Plus and Same rules are in effect, and successfully performing Plus or Same (and additionally Combos) will boost the power of the line.

And so on and so forth. So while the end goal is a full set of one colour, the true goal would be to successfully play the cards in such an order that when the 9th card is played, a Combo is initiated that sweeps the board.

The amount of aether and energy required to successfully get the best result leads to enormous power in a 9-card play, with a Red set doing massive damage, and a Blue set doing a massive group heal. Proper comboed variants of these would be enormously powerful, but achieving those outcomes is extremely difficult. The Plays available: A three card Red play is a damage boost to a target party member. (8% damage potency, equivalent of a single target Divination) Three card Blue is a heal. (equivalent to Essential at max potency, without the HP requirement) Six card Red (unboosted) deals damage, Comboed deals more Six card Blue is a large heal, Comboed makes it group but lower potency. (Single target - 80% HP, Group- equivalent of Earthly Star). 9-card Blue is called Spiral Galaxy, and is a massive burst heal that also applies the effect of the current Sect to party members (at 125% potency if Comboed) 9-card Red is called Stellar Collapse, and does massive damage to a single target and others (decreasing in potency with the more enemies present). Comboed will also apply a unique DOT, Gravitational Force, and determines the overall potency. Mixed colour plays will be a weaker version of whatever colour is most prominent, and if equal on a six-card play, the targeted party member will receive a very weak version of both.

Although Squall is initially scolded for his approach, the overall output is undeniable. It is, however, extremely hard to mimic, and a testament to Squall’s aetherpool; those who have attempted replication will immediately note the strain on one’s resources. (Squall’s strong magical talents carry into all his classes.)

3 :: Other Notes

The difference in technique shown here would and will carry into his employment of cards in general -- while Sharlayan astrology has veered away from time manipulation and more into divination, Squall finds his skills move easily into the former camp. This comes naturally, rather than willfully, and because of that Squall has not delved further. (Natural talent, as he has learned the hard way, can sometimes lead down dark paths). With a teacher, he would be more open to exploring these skills.

Healing-wise, Squall can execute all normal healing spells, though he does not learn the secondary sect (he began with Nocturnal) until he trains formally. The exception is Horoscope. His card usage compensates. 

He also, obviously, cannot and does not use the Divination skill. Again, his card usage compensates.

Both Malefic and Gravity have darker particles, due to Squall’s aetheric leaning, and are at a higher potency than a standard Astrologian. 

Squall has an equivalent of Ruin II called Impulse.

In terms of comparative gameplay, Squall would do better in the co-healer role, allowing him to focus on buffing party members and dealing damage. 

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 6]

With a great deal of things not going well, we reach the sixth part of this adventure. Who do we still have to work with?

Nessy (Milotic)

Caspet (Gengar)

Vertex (Luxray)

Diego (Gardevoir)

See, we’re fine.

Absolutely fine.

Why is this gen so enthusiastic about interrupting my post-gym walk to the Pokemon Center? Clay talks to Russell about the World Tournament, which I don’t think I have any reason to participate in. I might check it out in case people are dropping items places, but I don’t think there’s anything in it for me. I don’t think I even played it when I wasn’t doing Nuzlocke stuff.

Dang it, I was going to be excited about a new route, but this is the other end of Relic Passage, where we picked up Nessy.

Um no.

Clay, I know you mean well, or at least not badly, but. no? I don’t need to be locked into a tournament thing where the AI hates me. Come on. Just let me gallivant off into the sunset. Don’t make me fight. ;-;

(Also hi Cheren.)

Hm. It looks like I might be allowed to get out of this.

The question is if that’s an illusion or not.

Oh what the heck, let’s be stupid.

The sad thing is that even if I lose, I still have my designated survivors left.

It’s going to be fine.

Oh his Dewott is level 25.

This might actually be fine.

It was! Yay! Yay for overleveled pokemon saving me! Yay for Caspet!

I assume this ends with me facing Colress?

Good, Cheren’s stuck with level 25s too. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with that. If they’re all stuck at that, this should be okay.

Then again, his second pokemon is a Watchdog.

Hiss.

But it works out, and now I suppose it’s time for Colress. Whose role in the plot I can’t remember for the life of me, even after he showed up in Ultra Sun.

Still 25s, but the first thing out is a Magneton. Steel is a pain. And now Caspet is paralyzed. And confused. Yet still winning, because Caspet is our eternal hero.

Okay, tournament over, and before we can be relieved about that, a Pirate Plasma grunt runs by our little squad of main characters, and Russell and Cheren speed away as Colress expresses confusion at their recklessness.

Cool. I guess I’ll be following them, then.

In a sec.

We’re on a boat.

We’re fighting pirates on a boat.

They poisoned Diego.

Because Diego’s in front and his only attacking move is Magical Leaf.

One Pokemon Center visit later, we handle the rest of the Plasma Pirates, and then the Shadow Triad teleports us off the ship and Russell is all “why I oughta.”

I guess the plot section is done for now, so I’m going to explore the other side of Relic Passage. Where Skarmory lurks. Oooh, and Wartortle in the dust clouds. Wingull is also here. Hi Kakuna.

I don’t have Strength and don’t remember if I’m supposed to at this point. Given my pokemon, if I could use it, I wouldn’t want to replace a slot on anyone, but it would be nice to know. This is why taking months off in the middle of a run doesn’t work out well.

Aww, hi Charmander. And Shelmet.

Yeah, there’s a door I can’t get to without Strength, so I guess the Relic Passage adventure will be cut slightly short.

Can NPCs be banned from having Watchdog?

I guess I’ll start marching back to Chargestone. Diego up front in the hopes that he’ll soon learn something besides Magical Leaf.

This is why the games have you catching pokemon at the levels they do. If you catch them in the wrong spot of their development, it can be really, really awkward.

The plot is never over in this gen.

Oh, he gives us Surf so we can investigate radical temperature drops around the region. Because he doesn’t like the cold. Cheren, you big baby.

But Surf! Nessy, you’ve got yourself a new move!

Aw dang it. One of the scientists offers me a Deerling. Sorry my friend, I only play with the randomized options.

Ah, and I do have Strength. Oh well, not using it.

Gesundheit.

Oh hi Suicune 2.0. I have no interest in catching you. Scoot.

Dang it, the water has Dewott.

For the manyeth time, I regret that I should only ever use the Randomizer in Nuzlockes. I would not have the self-control to ever focus on my team if I had the freedom to catch whatever I wanted. The squad would change up every single badge. It would be ridiculous and takes two hundred hours.

But Dewott.

But new route! What do you have for me, cave of darkness that I don’t care to explore because I really can’t stand it being this dark?

BITCHING.

Heck, how do I catch this.

I don’t have Quick Balls yet.

Ummm.

Well. I think it’s safe to say that Magical Leaf won’t kill it. Right? Right.

Magical Leaf does as close to nothing as it can without being Splash.

And it knows Crunch, so Diego, let’s. get you out. Vertex, buddy, you’re up.

!

Spark paralyzed Rayquaza! Good boy, Vertex.

Now I pretty much have to risk a Bite.

Vertex.

Please do not get a crit. Crits are for fighting, not catching.

Good boy!

Now comes the endless catching. I have one Ultra Ball, and more than twenty Poke Balls and Great Balls each. Rayquaza’s in the red and paralyzed. This should be okay. Unless it knows something horrific that isn’t Crunch.

Ultra Ball fail. Twister. Twister is fine.

Luxury Ball doesn’t even get a roll. Same for round two. Last one gets a roll, but only one. So. Poke Ball and Great Ball spam it is.

Several turns later, no one’s dead and nothing’s caught.

Several turns later, same.

Down to single digit Great Balls.

HA. GUESS WHO WINS THIS ROUND.

...

Does.

Does its pokedex entry really say Sky High Pokemon?

That is perfect.

Names, though. It needs a name. The only character name I can remember from Sky High is Warren’s, and I don’t want to name Rayquaza Warren. Sooo. Names.

Superhero has to be the theme, but what heroes do I actually like that can fly... and aren’t too obvious, sorry Clark. Hmmmm. Oh, got it. This isn’t one I’m familiar with, but after seeing Captain Marvel, gotta go with topical and fun.

Welcome to the team, Photon!

I hope I don’t kill you like I’ve killed all my legendaries before!

And now the journey of getting Diego a useful move continues.

Oh, wait, I’m sorry Photon. I forgot to introduce you properly.

Photon is Timid and very finicky. Cute. Your Speed shall be appreciate for hours to come, hopefully.

Neat, there’s Lampent the next level down. ...Less neat, it burned Vertex. I really need to get into the habit of buying recovery items when I’m in a Center. I’m going to put on a Max Repel and wait to find someone down here who hopefully likes healing wayfaring trainers.

Yay, a doctor to battle!

More games should have you fight a doctor into giving you free medical care.

Pansear is also in the lower levels.

Duuuude, and Fraxure! Hello favorite Dragon line! Hello!

The Ace Trainers in this cave think Triple Battles are cool. I guess this is technically a Rotation Battle that I’m doing now, but in any case, I don’t care for the added stress of two more pokemon to deal with in a Nuzlocke. Scary.

NESSY NO.

I should maybe leave the cave.

...What’s a Ferrothorn doing down here? That isn’t a randomized happening. :(

There, Armaldo and Aipom. Way better.

Trainers are currently averaging one critical hit per fight. This is too many and I do not care for it.

But I have made it out of the cave, so now I can buy pertinent stuff and maybe wander into a new route. Maybe even find a better place to train Diego? Who still only has Magical Leaf? Maybe?

Such a useful tool. Sadly, I think I want to hold on to it until the plot forces me into a legendary battle. I would love to just use it on the next thing I see. Heck, maybe I will anyway.

New route time! Is it time to have a full party of six again?

Hello there. Are we friends?

...No, Amnesia + Ingrain plus a bunch of Poke Balls lost is too much of an investment. Dead route. ...Probably influenced by me catching a Lileep last time. Oh well. Still five.

Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I fucked up. I thought. Oh fuck. Oh no.

-whimpering noises-

I screwed up. I screwed up. I’m so used to just clicking through the attacks and I saw that Surf would affect everything because it’s a proper Triple instead of a Rotation, and the second that registered, I was already clicking through, and Nessy is last in the lineup and.

If the Ducklett does anything to Caspet, Caspet dies.

I don’t want to hit the play button.

I’m surprised Caspet even survived the hit.

I don’t want to see what happens next.

-hits play-

THE DUCK ATTACKED VERTEX WE’RE SAVED.

Oh my gosh Caspet. Oh my gosh you’re alive. I am so sorry. So, so sorry. That never should have happened. That was entirely my bad. All on me.

Geez I need to start paying more attention.

Oh hi Azelf. What are you doing in here. Why couldn’t I find you first this route.

Photon learns Air Slash before Diego learns a Psychic attack, news at 11.

Apparently this one spot on whatever this route is (-scrolls up- 7) some kind of magnet for calls. Hi mother figure of the game, why is it you are paying me attention? I am an adult ten-year-old.

Wait, I’m sorry, what? Our mother had a canon job?

She was a Pokemon Center receptionist.

...

She had a job?

What sort of fictional mother is this???

Hi death memorial tower, I’m here to complete my party.

And get the Lucky Egg from Professor Juniper.

Thanks for always giving me stuff.

Heeeeeey. Hi you. Wanna be best friends?

Hey I have a question. Why do Net Balls not have a note about working well against Flying pokemon? I feel like some part of that is in error.

Please get in the Poke Ball.

Or the Great Ball, if you insist.

Your health is red. Why are you like this.

There we go!

I dub you Cerberus.

The wiggly grass outside is Cranidos. Neat. And hi random Volbeat.

Howdy Cerberus. You are Adamant and thoroughly cunning. A solid addition to the team. Dodrio is one of those pokemon I never had a reason to add to my team by the time I found a Doduo in the games it’s available. But Dodrio and Tri Attack and Drill Peck is just so cool. I hope Cerberus gets to stay.

Aw, Marshal took his mentor’s place stopping us from going into the mountain before we’re supposed to.

Geez, the dark grass out here has Volcarona and Exploud. I think this might be where I want to grind. Because I still want Diego to have a move besides Magical Leaf. Axew is also here.

lol I found the TM for X-Scissor. Pour one out for Boruto.

Back to the death tower we go. Where a trainer has a level 36 Musharna whose Hypnosis doesn’t have the decency to miss.

Diego is level 39.

Magical Leaf is still his strongest attack.

Hey, Lumineon is on this level. Diego, you have a use!

There’s also Elekid. I wish I had an Elekid. Elekid is amazing.

HALLELUJAH.

This next floor has Treecko.

The floor after that is the roof, not a floor, and first up is Croagunk. Followed by Glailie, nice. But I’m not going to hang around and find out if there’s anything else. I rang the bell, mild feelings were had, and now I get to figure out if I am going straight to the gym or training some more.

Lumineon does make for very easy training.

It’s on the floor right next to the nurse.

I’ll do a little of that. Let Vertex muscle up before his moment in the sun.

Huh, Granbull’s on this floor too. I almost thought Daffy, then my brain caught up with what was going on.

Vertex is at 40, so Photon you help out Cerberus.

Or not, this is boring. I’m just going to try out the Gym.

Extra much, Skyla?

Random Gym Mook has a level 37 Swoobat.

Had.

Vertex ate it.

This is closer in level than I really like for Nuzlockes, but it is a Flying Gym. It should be okay, even with the cursed Unfezant awaiting us.

I really don’t care for this Gym redesign. I don’t mind Gyms giving you a puzzle to work on, but this is just gusts of wind that make you hide behind things periodically. It’s not difficult or thought provoking. Just mandated slowness.

It also doesn’t involve cannons. Major, major downgrade.

If I win you have to change your Gym. That’s the rule.

Level 37 Swoobat. It seduces Vertex. Vertex elects to not attack his new love. Twice. Then Heart Stamp makes him flinch. Twice. Then Vertex is still in love. Again.

...

Vertex.

She is going to kill you.

I have to send Nessy out now. Oh look, one Surf finished it.

Unfortunately, the next thing up is a level 39 Swanna. The 4x effectiveness is worth using a turn up on healing. That’s settled, and Vertex is down to 67 HP to face... a Skarmory? Huh. Okay. Level 37. I think I’ll let Vertex have a shot for a turn, but if it goes as badly as it might, Nessy will probably be called in.

Hm. Agility, Steel Wing, and Vertex can win with one more hit of Spark.

Skyla’s probably going to heal, but oh well, give it a try bud.

Cue Hyper Potion, yeah. But Skarmory is paralyzed, and potions don’t cure that, so I’ll take it.

Coolio, that’s a victory.

Badge number six, a full team, and no deaths.

Phew.

[lloire14]

Acrostic

I could not shake my thoughts from the previous night. Try as I might, I could not shake the feeling that I’d done something I regretted. To distract myself, I set out to the Saucer. There was a triple triad tournament going on. The record keeper seemed surprised to see me. Said she’d worried that I had died. I didn’t manage to win, but I did well enough to earn a reward and a few card.

Distracting as it was, I still worried in the back of my mind. The only thing I could think of to get my mind back on track was to train. I travelled to Tailfeather and sought out the beasts there to try my axe against again. Why there I wonder? I’d already tried my axe against these beasts. Still, something drew me to the place. I stayed for a day before I found it no longer distracting enough and I returned home.

Once I returned to the city-states, I made my way to the Goblet and to Joundi’s estate to check on Umi. No one was there. I felt foolish. She was a capable woman who did not need me trying to watch over her, still, I worried. I decided to see if she was at the Blades manor.

Not thinking anything of it, I travelled through Ul’dah. Passing one of the many alleyways, I heard a woman cry out. Fool that I am, I didn’t even think that it could be a trick. I just rushed into the alley and tried to save her. I arrived just in time and was lucky that it was not a trap. I was less lucky that’d I’d not been armed. The man pulled a knife, the girl managing to get away with her dignity intact. He stabbed me. I left him in the alley with a smashed in face. I left him alive. It was more than I wanted to do. Now I truly needed to get to the manor and my surgery kit. Luckily, aether flows easily for me and I found myself nearly on their doorsteps a few ticks later.

Trudging up to the manor, I came upon Miette. The young Elezen woman I’d meet alongside professor Jigumundo. I tried to move past her and not give her cause for worry, but apparently my wound was worse than I thought. She spotted it near instantly and insisted that I let her heal it. It was an unusual experience. Calling her own fae seemed to cause her pain. What’s more, the tiny creature refused to help her cast. She tried to heal the wound, but without the fae’s assistance, she began to lose confidence. I tried to comfort her, help her and the fae connect and heal the wound. It’s not every day one gets a chance to talk another through healing them while holding their guts in. After a bit of encouragement, the two of them managed to stop the bleeding. Miette fell weak though and the faerie vanished. I tried to help encourage the lass, but I don’t know that it did much good.

With the wound healed I thanked Miette and asked if she’d seen Umi around the manor. Once she confirmed that she had not, I suppose I grew concerned. I thought back to the last time I’d seen her. Asking her to leave and watching her teleport away. I couldn’t shake the feeling of worry and after hastily bidding Miette farewell, I rushed back to the last place I’d seen Umi after a quick stop at my place to grab my staff. It’d been quite some time since we’d last worked together. I made my way to the exact spot I’d last seen her, and after taking a good deal of time to prepare, I worked to trace her aetherial signature. She had not gone home as I’d thought. Instead she’d teleported to Coerthas.

After travelling to West Coerthas, I searched for her, trailing her signature the best I could. Eventually I found her huddled in a cave and nearly drained of aether. I threw my coat around her and found out that she’d been out there in the blizzard for over two days. Why didn’t I listen to that voice in the back of my mind.

Not wanting to bring her back to the house where Soren was hosting Destiney or Joundi’s home where I could not be sure he would return, I took her to my apartment. There, I helped her by the fire and tried to keep her warm before setting about making soup. I also gave her the carving I’d whittled for her. A small nutkin. I want her to be able to see where her hands. I want to help her learn to see in ways others can’t. Mayhaps then she’ll forsake her ‘sight’ and I will be able to hold on to her longer

The fight we had next had been somewhat expected. I tried to talk to her about what ails her. I tried to offer a solution. She did not see it that way. I offer to try and find a way to bind our anima so that she could draw from me as well. It would double the time she had left, if not more. She refused. We yelled. Finally, she explained that it was something she just could not ask of me. Knowing that I did not have a way to do it yet, I finally dropped the issue. Instead, I did something I swore I would never do again. I gave myself to Umi as –her- knight. I wonder still why I chose that moment to do so? Why her? Mayhaps I already know the answer. I care for her. I know it could be more on my end. However, she is safe. She holds others in her heart, and she is dying. What can I possibly do to hurt her by declaring myself her knight? I will protect her. That will be enough for me.

Things never go as expected. One moment we are shouting at one another, the next I’m helping her to a bath and then brushing out her tail after we eat. What is this life we lead? She did not want to be alone in a strange place, so I stayed at her side. Laying down close enough to be in reach. How sad am I? Finding comfort in having her close when I should be the one trying to bring her comfort instead. Before we slept, a question was asked. If the things that kept us apart were not there, could something have been. Only the Twelve know for sure, but I think it could have. Luckily, these things I think exist only here and in my mind. Soren would have a field day reading this. ‘Luckily’ he’s too good a guy to ever steal this to get inside my head, much as he’d deny it.

Once morning came and I made sure that she was fit to travel, we made our way back to Joundi’s. He was there, looking as though he’d half fallen apart with her absence. I was reminded of Soren’s description of what happened during my capture. She explained to the man what happened and I felt very much as though I were standing where I should not be.

First impressions are a difficult thing to deal with. I can’t imagine I made a great one on Joundi. He offered a drink in thanks for helping Umi. I thought it rude to decline. We three went downstairs and had a drink and spoke some. He is a former Garlean. As luck would have it, I met him now rather than then. They also told me of Stanzie, though not necessarily on purpose. One thing became clear as we spoke. No matter how much we may agree on Umi, the two of us do not see eye to eye on Garleans or fighting them. After some time, and a bit of whiskey, I took my leave. I could tell that Joundi cares for Umi. I told her as much. I only worry he might have seen that I do as well.

After leaving Joundi’s, I returned to my apartment. The night had been taxing, Soren was busy, and so, on a whim I sent a message to Helene. I did not want to drink alone. She came by and we sat and talked. I showed her my most recent injury, she showed me hers. It was good to be in the company of a friend who is like-minded. Realizing at last that I could call her friend and mean it, not comrade or shield mate, but friend, I spoke honestly with her. She asked me the same question that had been asked the night before. If the things stopping me from being with Umi were gone, would I? How can I even consider those things though? Part of what keeps me drawn back is I still love the first woman I gave my heart to. We just cannot be together again. I can’t do that to her again. She still loves Ellion, mayhaps Joundi. Those things don’t vanish. Still, if I were to answer truthfully, the answer was yes. Soren and Kessy came by later in the eve, sparing Helene my own questions about her wants for the future. Kagato had best treat her well if they become something. This Lion will not suffer to see harm to his friend’s heart. Soren seemed a bit off. I couldn’t place it. Kessy for her part was the usual charming woman I’ve come to expect, with just enough mischief to keep Soren’s attention. Here’s hoping for their sake it does not wane. In the end, I called the evening short and made my way to bed. Between being stabbed, healed, rescuing Umi from the snow, and fighting with mine own heart, I needed the rest.

Leaving my training for a later time, I simply relaxed at the apartment for most of the day. Umi had mentioned a friend bringing her by the manor at some point, so I headed there to meet the person. When I arrived no one was there so I found a dark and quiet corner and posted up to wait. I suppose I dozed off before the next thing I knew, Umi was there fussing with a Hyur man and Joundi was speaking from the opposite wall.

Like a snake charmer her friend seemed, but one with several bites on his hand. Alistair was his name I believe. He had somehow talked Umi into a maid’s outfit and was passing out flyers. Joundi was not amused at all by the man, and while I tried to be polite at first, I did end up agreeing with Joundi on a few things. Alistair was looking for amateur writers for his publication. After talking with him for a while, I decided I would submit something. I really should work on that.

Isn’t it funny how the most innocent of things can make you feel a fool? Alistair made a remark about Umi. Joundi took issue with it and called him out. Alistair realized he was in the same room as her partner and asked about it. Umi replied that Joundi was her partner in matters of love, I her partner in crime. What fool am I to want for something I cannot have. I shook it off quickly though. It helped that they soon after left, Joundi following near immediately.

Never one to sit idle, but not wanting to risk another injury just yet, I decided to go hunting. I spent a day up in West Coerthas again. Bow in hand, I decided that I’d spent enough time letting my aim worsen just because my eye had been so badly hurt. It took most of the day, but in the end I think I found what I need to compensate for the loss in vision. I brought down a handsome steinbock and took it back to the manor after dressing it. Umi had asked that we hunt and bring back food. So I did.

Leaving again the next day, I travelled to the Shroud, going to my favorite place in the world, and I sat on that bridge and fished. All day. Just as boring as everyone would tell you. I loved it. It’s relaxing and helps calm the raging storm inside me. Sometimes a Lion just wants to lounge. I took the whole day and spent it alone with my thoughts, fishing.

Overall, I should have been at peace enough not to react the way I did when I returned to the Blade’s manor. I’d stopped at the apartment and gathered my armor and axe, then made my way to the manor to see if there was work. Just outside I came across a scene I had not expected. The professor and a Miqo’te woman I did not know were standing in the yard, and Miette lay on the ground in front of Jigumundo. I nearly pulled my axe on him. Thank the Twelve for fishing. They managed to assure me that it was not as bad as it seemed. The professor cast a sleep spell on Miette and I carried her inside to the woman’s, Tisharu, room. They explained that Miette had lost control and were simply trying to keep her from hurting herself or anyone else. Tisharu managed to dress her wounds and the three of us spoke for a time. I am glad that Jigumundo seems a patient and logical fellow. We were able to speak on differing sides without too much trouble. When Miette woke, Tisharu ran to her. Is it me, or is there perhaps something more there? Lovers mayhaps? Either way, Miette began to sob and I felt the urge to leave.

Vaguely trying to find an escape, I joked with Jigumundo about my inability to comfort in times like these. Just then though, Umi called for me over my personal frequency. She needed help. I tried to leave without saying much, but the professor saw right through me, asking that I say hello to Umi for him. My axe was sitting in the room with Miette and Tisharu, so I decided to leave without it rather than interrupt their talk.

Everything is so confusing. I managed to make my way to where she was atop Skan. When we arrived he took it upon himself to chase after the local wildlife that might give us trouble and I went to Umi’s side. She’s hurt herself in a fall and just needed someone close at hand so she could heal the wound. I offered to stay with her and we spoke some as she set about healing herself. I found that she and Joundi have been fighting. I heard that he wished to keep her closed off from the world, just the opposite of what I would have her do. She asked me questions and like a fool I mistook her motives. She asked if I wanted children. I explained why I did not. She asked me if I could see myself with someone ever again. I told her I could, but only because I’d promised her I would try. Then she asked what I sought in a lover. I worried that she meant to look for someone for me. I worried that telling her might drive her further from me. I did so anyways. I told her that I sought someone like her. A lioness who would share in the hunt with me. Respect my own strength, but also no fear their own. A woman and a warrior. It seems my tastes have changed some, but how could they not. I could not fall for someone like I had before. Not again. She asked me if I would forgive her if she acted on selfishness. I answered her. She kissed me. I hate how I feel. I wanted it. I wanted to grab her and kiss her back. How can I feel that way? What is wrong with me? She played it off as some reward for rescuing her, but when I argued about Joundi, she grew upset. She decided to leave, and I tried to escort her home. She refused and warned me that if I tried, she might be tempted to kiss me again. Does she know what she’s doing to me? I thought myself clever and pulled on my helm. She proved herself a match for me, and ordered me to remove it, kissing me again, and leaving me standing awestruck. By the Twelve, I don’t want to. But I think I am.