#jusq self

[benefits1986]

Shades & Shakers

NGL, Leo szn 2024 is not a ghost month, yes?

My first hero is my Prep teacher. I think, I've talked about her previously or it may just be another thought bubble. She carved a tiny home for me and my purple Prep Joey mates back in a small and highly progressive school ages ago.

Today, I remember her and should our paths cross again, I'd give her a solid hug and for sure, I'll cry. Teacher Rosa hailed from Leon Guinto and damn, I must say that it kinda seems a "premonition" looking back. One that I didn't ever see coming and one that shaped my worldview even when I'm not totally sold about being cloistered in the halls that once cradled the wounded soldiers of WW2. However, as I come in peace, this makes sense.

Maarte ako e. Hahahaha. Masungit pa. (Parang normal naman 'to sa mga hinubog sa Leon G. Street like Teacher Rosa pero siya, 'yung sungit niya sa mga bagay na may kwenta, unlike ako na sa lahat masungit.) And what I'm super sold about after ages of loathing this chapter was that, mukhang tama ng nanay kong dragon. She housed me there for four years to prune me as bonsai --punggok na, pudgy pa, ako e. LOL.

Still curious as to when I'd see my first official social group as a daldal kahit saan bitch. Very interesting.

Best Lesson from Teacher Rosa: Just be you but try to hold your tongue at times. Also, you can read well even when your mom tells you that you'd have to perfect reading words with "b" and "d". You can do it, but stop being frustrated about the tiny things. Keep your high energy, but don't be too rowdy.

Note to Self: SHEMAY. OO NA. Eto na since 1986. Bakit parang ganito pa rin ako? Hahahaha. Shet. Next.

My next highlight for today, sa ngalan ng pakikibaka with a heart is my second dad. He's my OG mentor and one of my benchmarks. He came from Katips and is a loud and proud promdi. While he came from an alta fam, he worked his ass off to get a scholarship kasi nga 'di daw sila mayaman. LUL. He tried LS but gave up because the vibe did not sit well with him. Sungit din niyan. Hahaha. And whenever he wants to steer me in a direction that I deem directionless, the battle gears are high and mighty. There was even an era when I loathed him talaga. What I like most about my second dad is that he's keep slaying shit.

From the crazy and colorful world of being an expat in the 80s and surviving the market crash nung 90s, jusq. He's now working with the grassroots people to power up their cooperatives with AI. Then, he'd teach me the pitfalls and perils of halo marketing. Now, we'd deep dive-ish into the prompts he's pumping. How crazy does this boomer go? He's building business models and modules with the bot gods. I find it funny that now, he's keeping up with me. Well, kinda. Marketing and finance expertise niya along with social responsibility. He's actually one of the may panaka ng market leader sa botika with the tagline since the 90s. Wala ng ibang clue because he's super underrated.

Recently, his ask from me was to build his LI profile. Tawang-tawa ako. I told him na why now lang? And if he wanted to go with the social selling route. Ako na. Maiba naman bilang he's immersed in the barrios and the barangays most of his days and nights. He chuckled and said that he doesn't need LinkedIn to light things up. TACCA. Apaka ugh talaga. Pang-add lang daw talaga nung mga nagtatanong from his network. That's it. Iba rin naman ang angas. LOL. Pero 'di pa rin ako papagiba kasi sayang 'yung leads na magenerate niya kahit 'di na raw siya workaholic at 70+. Hahaha.

He lambasts my Lego affinity and biking. Tanda ko na raw for Lego, pero joke lang 'yun syempre. Sa bike naman, dapat daw scooter or big bike tapos cruising in the countryside. Sabi ko, wait lang sa scooter. Paparating na. Also, mag-drive na raw ako ulit as a gala person. What I like best about my second dad is that he's so not out of touch. Apaka pak niya diyan. Pero kitang-kita ang blue vibes niya 'pag nasa debatehan szn kami. No one's backing down talaga. As in. Kahit magkamatayan na. Ganernsss. But, we agree to disagree saka mas 'di na kami rarasisbumba now. Siguro dahil sa AI? Labo. LOL.

Best Lessons from Second Dad: Don't let them butcher you. Butcher them but be classy kahit basura kausap mo. Bawasan mo rin kasungitan mo, minsan. Highlights ko sa kanya are Lessons from Geese and this quote he shared: You plant a tree not to enjoy its shade. Saka 'wag na raw ako mag-LS lalo sa hood niya. Hahahahahaha. 'Di ba? Pakialamero siya talaga lagi akala mo anak niya akong totoo. Sa AI na lang daw ako mag-focus. LOL. Very Jesuit pero ugh. LUL.

Recently, we talked about my will to die. OPAK. Sabi niya, 'wag daw muna akong excited. Masyado raw poetic mga attempts ko. Gago e noh. Baka raw sa anti-climactic way pa ako ma-deads, so kapit lang daw ako. Siya 'yung boomer na legit progressive. Hindi siya cancel mode in all levels pero may wisdom saka may sense. EAT SHIT KAYONG MGA BOOMER BOMBERS. CHE. And that I just need to strengthen my core people and actually ask for help. May tawa pa 'yan plus reminder to get checkups with his network na trusted niya. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Shemayyyy. Note to Self: Pag-isipan ko pa mga sinasabi niya. Hahahahaha. LELS. And also, reminder to get our shit done na rin this Leo szn. Let's go. Another super important thing is to remember that the new coding language is ENGLISH so, tara naman sa finance side of things lalo sa marketing emerut. It's time. Eto na. Lapag. UGH. Side Note: Was going over my documents for something I need to work on and poof, oks naman pala letter grades ko sa Finance and Quatech. OPAK. Gulat ako, honestly. Kadire. Hahahaha. Maka-podcast nga beyond Rotten Mango na about progressive financial emerut. Sana may oks and legit na progressive.

So what?

The Venn Diagram of my two heroes of the day is no less than Rissaaaahhh Honti. Ayoko na lang mag-talk because, we don't meddle na sa mga bagay na nilabanan natin pero tapos na. Finish na. Galing-galing niya. HUHUHUHU. IYKYK. Ganda pa ng singing voice saka nag-scuba sa Batangas. HIHIHIHI. Ganda niya pa in person as a fangirl na 'di na silent. LOL. Pinaka love kong anecdote from her mismo is one time, naputulan sila ng kuryente kasi nasa work siya as a single mom. OPAK. KK --Kulasang Katips na legit right there. O baka kasi nakikiusap ako sa Meralco lineman na sorry na talaga kasi nga nasa meeting lang ako at nalimutan ko na namang magbayad ng bill with abot ng pang merienda niya at ng pamilya niya. HAHAHAHHA.

Let these lessons and notes be reminders to hang onto to the frameworks from humble sticks and stones, with blood, flesh and bones. EME. Hahahaha. Akala mo naman apaka profound ano po? LOL. I'd really have to just keep going and trust the process amidst my superlative trust issues that circle back to my trust issues with myself. HAHAHAHA. Ang lala, but we're on track naman. Sana tuloy-tuloy lang kasi naman ang spirals ay spiraling. But, sa ngalan ng life outside Manila at iba pang kaganapang emerrruttthhsss, okay, fine. Tara na talaga. It's time.

Also, always choose to be kind BUT firm. And keep my shoulders strong kahit masakit talaga because alam mo naman as a degenerating noona na talaga tayo.

And of course, sa ngalan ng pananalo sana naman ng 2ne1 concert sa kahit saang lupalop ng JP. Jusq. Napaka hirap, mhie to the point na susugal na ako sa mga legit scalpers. Sign up pa lang pota kang Jap characters ka as a wala namang alam sa kahit anong form ng pagsulat o pagbasa. UGH. Sobrang strict pati sa mga bagay na dapat simple lang. TAKAYO TALAGA. Also, narealize ko, Japan didn't happen earlier this year, because eto na tayo. HIHIHIHIHIHIHI. Sa Kobe kaya para makabike sa Kyoto? EMEEE. CHOZ. Abangan!

PS: Bilhin ko na ba talaga 'yung last na kulang na LS pero sobrang taas na nung reseller price. POTA. Or hanap na lang ako sa Japan. Hahahahahha. Abangannnnn!

[toxicana17]

February 4, 2024.

"Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep."

God, this lines really hits different right now.

Does she know I'm hurting? Or, is she even aware how she hurt me??? 'Coz I don't think so.

I am deeply sunk in sadness right now. Deeply. Yung nag-iisang tao na palagi mong inaasahan na nand'yan para sa'yo, ay palaging wala. There are so many times na rin na free naman s'ya, I understand that she's tired because she always done/has a lot of things (to do). Pero pakiramdam ko nanlilimos nalang ako, kulang nalang lumuhod ako at magmakaawa like, "I'm okay, can u please be with me or stick around?"

Yeah, she's definitely right that I was there at her lowest because we live under the same roof. And I understand that it's hard for her to make time to come over, to comfort me, because we're no longer living together. But for once, pwede bang hindi ako makarinig ng excuses like "tinatamad ako", may ganito, may gan'yan, si ano, si gan'yan. Kasi putangina, pagod na pagod na akong lumaban mag-isa. Pagod na pagod na akong mag-isa. I was there eh, I'm always there for her. In her dark times, in her bright times. I'm always here for her. Ako? Sino lang ba ang meron ako? Sino lang ba ang aasahan ko na magiging nand'yan para sa'kin? Wala. Wala ni isa.

Ang ingay-ingay ng isip ko. Kahit anong divert ng attention ko sa ibang bagay, I can't help to unhear these voices inside my head saying that I should end it nalang. End everything. I just want someone to be there for me. Kahit hindi na kausap, makinig nalang.

And then what? It's my fault pa na I feel weak sometimes? It's not my fault SO PLEASE STOP BLAMING IT TO ME FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Nag-oopen up ako para gumaan pakiramdam ko. Hindi para magpasisi, hindi para makarinig o makabasa ng kung ano-ano. Napaka-walang emotional intelligence, self-centered pa. Jusq! Bakit ko ba ulit tinanggap ang taong ito? Sobrang nakakapangsisi. Mas okay nang tumandang mag-isa at mamatay mag-isa kesa ganitong klase ng tao ang makakasama ko sa pagtanda ko.

[luckmagnet]

Towards something new and better 🥺

For my first entry, check point tayo:

• Today I felt more at peace which before I always felt a deep hole in my heart. Di ko lang alam saan nanggaling yun.

• I was a closed off person. Don't know how to receive and I always have that walls in me.

• Afraid to show emotions 😭 Yan, kaya yung mental health naccompromise.

• Gusto maging independent kaya ayun mas lalong nag iisolate sa mga tao, which ang nangyayare is mas lalong doomed to failure. 😭

• I dim my light just so I can please everyone. 😞

• Negative thinker, mostly fear based lahat ng ginagawa. Walang bilib sa sarili, mahiyain and super afraid to collaborate. 🥶

• Masyadong pa mysterious. As in.

• Super procrastinator jusq. self medj give up na talaga ako sayo. chars but yeah

• Kinukulong yung sarili sa maliit na mundo.

•Jusqq eto matindi, katamaran. hayss

but despite all of that negative traits I know:

• I'm a good listener, and I can be a good shoulder to cry on.

• I'm a caring person but I guessed I can't show this fully because I'm hurting inside.

• I'm not a quitter even if I failed a lot.

• I have a big heart.

• I seek change.

• I'm good at making people feel better.

• I know in my heart I wanted to be in service of others, even in my own little ways. 🥺

• money magnet. pramis 💸 easy for me to have it.

2023 is my self-awareness era. Grabe yung mga bagay na nadiscover ko about myself which before feel ko 'di ganun ka big-deal. Sobrang nanghhinayang ako sa mga possible connections na pwede pang magkaroon if only if naging open lang ako. 🥺 But it is what it is, ang mahalaga natutunan mo na yun and hopefully 'di ka na mapunta sa ganung sitwasyon. Kasi yun yung reason pala whyy I felt I was alone, and depressed. What if may gusto to help you? diba? Parang you automatically build walls kasi by that. Pero, never too late to start again. Sobrang daming bagay yung di mo na experience before and 'wag mong hayaan na pati sa mga susunod na mga taon e ganun pa ren. You deserve to be love and be loved. If only if you allow them. :) You deserve to have a very worthy experience which your 80-yr old self, children and granchildren will be proud of. So allow, to live and experience life to the fullest. 😊🦋

I always got you,

Self💗

[rig0]

akala ko talaga tayo na

[chuuyrr]

Hi ate Chu! Gusto ko lang pong sabihin na napapasaya mo po ang aking araw pag nakikita ko ung post mo po sa feed ko, parang boost of serotonin hehe~ lalo na pagkatapos ng aking oc at paggawa ng modules! Keep up the good work stay safe and i love you po!

Can i request for baby Fushiguro getting clingy with megumi because he was away for "too long" but it's been only 4 days so baby fushiguro won't leave his side because he will be away again after 3 days.

-Em💤

clingy! scarlet witch! baby fushiguro! reader feat. megumi

jujutsu kaisen x reader

masterlist of the series

warning(s): none, just fluff

ah, thank you so much em for the cute request! sorry if late ko ng nasulat request mo (kakaloka finals mhie jusq po opo) goodluck sa school and stay safe din! ilyt :) <3

tbh this prompt reminded me of my toddler self, i remember my mom telling me a story of how i cried and didn't want her to go when she was about to leave me in class, so she stayed behind with me at my nursery class and helped the teacher look after the other children too aka my classmates because they wanted their moms and dads 😭

gojo is not the only one you were attached to. in fact, you have an attachment with your half-older brother, megumi.

you'd always looked forward to getting babysat by him since you loved his company that much. you don't mind staying in with him at his dorm whenever he insists he doesn't want to go out, you just liked being around him so anywhere is fine.

though he may not say it out loud, he likes being around his baby sibling too :)

growing up, gojo made sure that you had a good relationship with megumi. he does his best to incorporate the two of you in each other's lives. so he makes sure you see and spend some quality time with megumi as much as possible everyday in a week.

however, this week, you haven't been able to hang out with your brother or let alone see him. gojo told you that he had a very important mission with his friends, yuji and nobara.

it saddened you, since there wasn't a time wherein you don't get to see him. it also made you very pouty because megumi never told you anything about his mission. it took him and his friends four days.

when gojo noticed your sullen face, he brought you along with him to welcome megumi and his friends back home from their mission as promised.

and the moment you saw megumi get off the train station? you didn't just bolt towards him, you subconsciously used your wiggly-woos to teleport and tackle his legs in a tight bear hug, instantly making grabby hands and demanding to be picked up.

"[name]! gojo-sensei!"

"gumi-nii, up-up! now!"

gojo approached megumi and his other two students, explaining how you terribly missed him that you barely ate and ended up pouting for the most part no matter how your father tried to cheer you up with your favorite desserts and new toys.

yuji and nobara cried in awe, cooing at how cute and clingy you were towards your brother, but they earned a whack on the back of their heads from megumi.

"what a clingy baby! so cute!"

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

you were incredibly happy to see him again and you absolutely loved the tight, bear hug he gave you after carrying you in his arms.

but, then you heard gojo say this.

"megumi, nobara, yuji, rest up good for a job well done. you three deserve it! but you three will be going on a mission again sooner later and it might take three days."

the moment you heard your father say that, your clinginess with your brother worsened. he had just gotten home and suddenly, megumi was going away again? it was unacceptable.

what were you going to do about that? never leave his side. ever.

at first, megumi and gojo didn't mind when you asked (more like insisted) to sleep over at your brother's since they knew how much you missed megumi.

but then, you started to literally cling onto him like a baby koala.

it was amusingly funny, your brother would stand up and you'd instantly run up to him to hold onto his leg. yuji and nobara would laugh and cry in awe at the sight of a clingy, baby [name] and confused, megumi.

wherever megumi goes, you are either fisting the fabric of his shirt while standing beside him, holding onto his leg, latched onto his arm or clinging to his torso. the only time you actually let him go is when you have to use the bathroom, but you make him wait outside.

a bit contradicting because when it was megumi's turn to use the bathroom, you'd refuse to let go of him and whine.

"no! don't leave me!"

"[name], i need to use the bathroom! i need to pee."

it also got to the point wherein gojo was going to pick you up now and you refused to let go of megumi, your tiny arms locked around his neck securely and legs hooked around his torso, claiming that you want to be with your brother.

"kikufuku, baby, it's time for us to go home. say goodbye to megumi and his friends!"

"no! i want to stay with gumi-nii!"

gojo was in awe of your persistent and clingy behavior towards megumi. he had never seen you act in such a way before. it was adorable and he definitely snapped a couple of pictures of you clinging onto megumi much to your brother's embarrassment.

but your brother really had to go and leave you this time.

"no, don't leave me again.."

"[name], it's going to be okay. i'll be back before you know it."

"i'm going to miss you.. please, let me go with you! i'll protect you, yuji-nii and nobara-nee."

you started to tear up and eventually broke down into a sob as gojo pulled you away from megumi. your father hushed you down, soothing you with comforting words and gentle rubs on your back.

yuji and nobara may or may not have had tears in their eyes when you included them in your sentence.

megumi was deeply touched by your words. you clearly loved him with all your heart, but even if you were a powerful force to be reckoned with. you were still a baby, you were still inexperienced with what you can do with your chaos magic.

most importantly, he's your older brother. he's not going to let anything happen to you and just like gojo, he wants you to be safe. so, he can't just reckless bring you with him. (and it's not like gojo will allow it either)

megumi took you from gojo's arms and cradled you, wiping away your tears before patting your head and much to everyone's surprise, he flashed you a genuine smile; a once in a blue moon, precious smile of his.

you were that special to him to be able to see his smile.

once you had calmed down, megumi explained to you the best he can why he couldn't bring you along and why he has to go away again for three days for a mission. he also made sure to promise you that he'll spoil you once he comes home.

"i will always come back to you and gojo-sensei, so please don't cry [name]."

"promise?"

"i promise."

after a lot of convincing and negotiations, you had finally let megumi go but not until he gave you a kiss on the top of your head and left you to gojo.

megumi is expecting a lot of hugs from his baby sibling when he comes home and he'll see to it to get you lots of souvenirs when he returns along with yuji and nobara.

since then, whenever megumi is away, you'd remember his promise. you started eating and playing as usual once again because you didn't want to make your brother worry. you needed to be in good health and spirit when he comes back because how else were you two going to bond and play if you weren't okay?

gojo is absolutely happy to see up and about again. he's also glad to see the soft and caring side of megumi since that boy rarely shows affection even as a child.

[aeriaan]

Lyk, inaamin ko na sa sarili ko na gusto ko sya. Wala, ito na to wala na ako magagawa :-((

[benefits1986]

Dalai Dila: Deep Fake?

Hello, OL world! Kamusta ka naman? Gusto ko sanang i-English ito para ‘di masyadong graphic but I need bwelo because in a few hours, rachada na po tayong muli sa mga deadlines forda bills, the bike + road to 2024 and the life after bills, too. In between, concept maps ganaps and self-talk para sa Taurus szn and beyond, need to be in E’s 10th month shoot din. GAH. Reply 1988 ang assigned sa akin so, sobrang daming edits ng elements nito since putok na putok ang shots and ganaps sa Kdrama na ‘to na ‘di ko tinapos pa because so much feels and triggers. LOL.  So, ayun na nga. Dalai L. is now under fire. JUSQ. Syempre, wala pa masyadong kuda ang Metaverse but, paparating na siya sa mga lalayan. LOL. When I saw the video, sabi ko, deep fake ba? DL has been a shaker ng beliefs that for me lang transcends any race, religion and other causes of faction. Even sa work and personal life, may pabaon si DL na curious, cutting and challenging kaya weird ‘yung feeling ko sa ganap na ‘to. I don’t tolerate crimes committed sa kids. ‘Di ko rin siya para i-defend pero ang nakalokang top search sa Meta as of kanina is this particular news channel na very extremist and white. ‘Di ko na lang lalagay dito ‘yung link kasi baka umakyat pa views nila. ‘Di rin naman ganung kadami ‘yung following nila and ‘di rin sila big media agency. However, etong headline na ‘to is alongside trans student na nakipag-head to head sa locker/shower sa homophobic. ‘Yung other news na kasama rin nito is bakit daw walang karapatang mag-defend ‘yung nasa loob ng car if may mob na palapit sa kanya? Wala na raw bang right to defend the self these days? Mhie, sa Pinas, ‘pag may mob, makikiramdam ka muna at mas mauuna ang pagiging usi mo kasabay ng pag-check kung may maitutulong ka ba sa crowd lalo na ‘pag within your community ka lalo ‘pag nasa province ka. In general ‘to ha. ‘Wag mo sama ‘yung mga MO lalo na sa Daang Hari saka sa C5 Extension na may dagat ng basura and nag-cause ng baha sa Las Pinas, Paranaque and Cavite area. Catch basin ba naman saka reclaimed lands ginawang pakak na daanan na sobrang pulpol? LELS. Wala akong paki kung anong color sila. That’s beside the point. The other news din na kasama is ‘yung pag-support ng mga Obamas, Bidens, and Gates sa Ukraine. Jusq. Sinabi nung mga anchors na kung gusto raw tumulong sa Ukraine ng mga kababayan nila, punta sila doon mismo at bitbitin ang funds nila. ‘Wag daw silang isama sa road to WW3. Hmmm. Content analysis ko ba ‘tong walang bots para mas dalisay? Chz.  Anyhow, ayoko munang mag-deep dive sa DL issue. Ako lang muna mag-dig ng mga ganaps para ako lang muna ‘yung may insight. Maiba naman. Wala muna tayong citations. Bitbit ko ‘yung separate the content from the creator hat ko and religion as a source of unnecessary faction and power play na rin. Gusto kong isipin na baka part siya ng culture pero naisip ko rin, baka sinadyang ipaggawa ito kay DL because, shet, na-cite na naman natin ang isang EP ng Black Mirror titled National Anthem, DL is retiring soon and I think, this may be a power play to discredit whatever he did. Maybe, just maybe, may pinagtatakpan siyang something na worse than this video. Kung ano man ‘yun, abangan na lang natin. Baka may rigodon sa org nila since nga 87 na siya. Kung baga, new order.  ‘Di naman ito iba masyado sa Bikram god na ‘di naman napatawan ng parusa because, it’s a man and his two heads’ world, after all. Hayyyyy. DL may not be on trial sa court, pero in this day and era, the trial is much pakak and umaatikabo in the OL world. Sana lang din, sana lang, deep fake ito pero sa angles and all, kung deep fake man, ‘wag dumami pa ‘yung shit. Deep truth na deep throat na lang. ‘Yung abot hanggang esophagus. Para sagad. Pero, like sa National Anthem, ginawaan ng paraan na cinematic and impossible to fake siya. Fan ako ng content ni DL, hindi ‘yung tao. Kaya kung ano man, the lessons will be steeped, filtered and brewed again. Wala namang perfect. I still believe that sinners are saints --figurative ‘yan a bilang takot ako sa mga rebulto. I feel sad lang with how things are turning out for the pop cult world. Less faith in humanity. Greed get greener, Mala-Emerald City na po tayo. And yes, kaya siguro wala nga bagong season ang Black Mirror is because etong real world na ang new season niya. Nangyayari na talaga ang mga ganaps na na-ancipate ko na nung una kong napanood ang National Anthem. Gagi, mhieeee. I kennat.  I remember ages ago, sabi ko na ang next warfare is about a virus na tipong ‘pag isang MRT on a rush hour ang naka-contract, tepok ang kalakhang Maynila. Easy peasy destabilization kasi naka-center lahat sa Manila ang lahat kahit na dapat kahit na federal or ‘yung status quo ang ating form of government, maayos ang infra ng lahat ng man lang na key cities. Sigh. Ang ganda ng Pinas kaya nakakahinayang na LGU levels pa lang noon hanggang ngayon, feudalism pa rin ang galawan. Yes po. Feudal pa rin tayo if you really take time to immerse outside your perimeter. Heck, even in BGC and tabing BGC area nga, kita mo ang power play ng feudalism. Hindi nga lang nagsasaka mga slaves ng feudalist bitches and gents, literal na arawang sweldo and isang high wall with CCTV fortified by electric fence ang naghihiwalay sa mga alta at masa. One of the reasons I hate BGC because it’s a parasite. CHZ. Next time na ‘to para mas mindfuck tayo, opo.  Sad lang na talagang lahat ng established orders are being burnt to the ground. Religion is but reduced to a cash and power-generating system. May solid truth naman dito. Sabi ko nga lagi sa mga first time na mag-join ng community, ‘di perfect ang communities. Lahat naman may shit, lahat may mishaps and brouhaha. Pero, nasa iyo na ‘yan kung ano bang goals mo. And just like the community, ‘di ka rin perfect kaya manage your expectation and stand by your intention. Speaking of which, like Feast. Under fire din sila because of a lot of things thrown at its leaders. First, naghahati sa church. Okay lang na ‘wag mag-mass basta mag-attend ng teaching. What my take is... sinabi ng builders many, many times na the audience --mga ‘di na nagsisimba. Kung baga, alternative sila; hindi sila option. Catholic faith is rooted on a really, really dark chapter. Ultimong plenary indulgence nga, questionable sa akin, pero, at the end of the day, it’s not about how much offerings you bring to the altar, how much incense you inhale kahit nakakaumay naman talaga amoy ng frankincense sa totoo lang. Wala akong paki if siya pinakamahal na essential oil --another scam. LOL.  Kaya, Illuminati shit hole aside, know your why and why not talaga. And separate the content from the creator. :) Imagine a world na cancelled si RuPaul because dami niyang kahalayan, so wala ng Drag Race? Imagine a world without Queen kasi si Freddie Mercury nagpa-cool sa sleeping around like there’s no tomorrow kahit na sobrang risky because of AIDS noong time niya? Imagine a world na burnt every copy ng Harry Potter because JK Rowling is a racist and homophobic? Imagine destroying Van Gogh’s masterpieces kasi isa siyang promulgator ng suicide and self-harm? Does not make sense ‘di ba? So, I think, I carry with me this notion sa DL serye na ‘to. The sins of DL may scream in scarlet but allow his lessons to be chewed by whomever needs and wants to. Plus, learn from his way of life and that comes with his glory and downfall, too.  Abangan ko mga susunod na EP ng Black Mirror Season 9: Earth Edition. Lerkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzz. Pre-dystopian era na talaga. Pero bitbitin natin ang death sa comics universe kung saan, death is a new start. Parang si Logan. :D  Note: OK na magpakawala ng feelings about this sa r/daliaDILA or something similar pero ‘wag na. Ayoko na namang mag-community manager + moderator kasi, mhie, nakaka-addict siya. Naggawa ko na ‘yun in my previous life. Char. 

[qetsiyaaah]

Jan. 27, 2021

Nagising ako ng 10 am 😊 di ako naka-attend ng klase ko ng 9am yaaaay super galing mo talaga self 😂 isa kang tamad na estudyante hay hahahaha tapos bigla ako pinagayak ni Ate agad kasi sumama daw ako sa kanya na lumuwas ng Manila akala ko naman nakaalis na sya kasi sabi nya mag-commute na lang daw sya hahahaha tapos gulat ako di pa pala lumalayas ang luka, nagkaka-anxiety daw sya magcommute kaya naghanap si papa ng driver, tapos hiniram yung montero ni Tito Ricky. Mga 12 naalis na kami kasi 2 dapat andon na si ate, mejj mabilis naman byahe na kasi sa skyway less traffic. First time ko lang makakapasok ng Resorts World kasi di naman ako sinama ni Ate non bukod sa naglipat sya ng dorm non. Tapos dapat sasama ako kay ate kaso baka di ako papasukin sa hr kaya naiwan na lang me sa sasakyan kasama driver. In short nabulok lang ako hahahaha kaya nanuod na lang ako masterchef season 4 sa sasakyan tapos nung mga 3 na akala ko saglit lang si ate yun pala napakatagal paaaa jusq kaya nag-mcdo muna kami sa may baba kasi nasa 4th floor pa kami nakapark. Ihing ihi pa ko leche kasi umuulan maghapon tapos cr pa cr sa mcdo 🤦🏻‍♀️ nung nakabalik na si ate mga 4 na tapos umuwi na kami kaso mga 2 mins pa lang kami nakakaalis sa resorts world pota hay sobra gulat ko nakabangga kami grabeee feel ko nilipad ako ng mga oras na yun grabe buti na lang safe kami 😭😭😭 di kasi nakita netong driver na to yung sasakyan sa harap kasi kakatingin sa waze huhuhuhu hay nagkada-leche leche pa nga gustong gusto ko na lang umuwi stress na stress na din si ate, dapat pala nag-commute na lang nga daw sya pakadami pang gastos ngayong araw. Naligaw pa kami sa skyway nadiretso pa kami pa-Alabang ata kaya nagsayang kami ng 15 mins at pera sa maling daan 🤦🏻‍♀️ gabing gabi na kami makakauwi. Tapos kumain kami dun sa shell sa nlex kasi gutom na kooooo hahhahahaha nagchowking kami kaso feel ko next week wala na ko panlasa HAHAHAHAHA actually parang wala na talagang covid sa sobrang traffic at dami ng tao sa labas. Nag-iihit pa ko kakatawa kanina dahil kay ate hay hahahahahaha. So now na nakauwi na im doing my activities na di ko pa din nagagawa hahahaha i love cramming 😂 hahahaha ayun bukas di ko alam kung isasama pa ba ko ni ate para may kasama sya papuntang SM Clark or mag-isa na lang sya hahahaha antok na ko shet 😭 sumakit lang ulo ko sa nangyari imbis na marelax ako dahil nakalabas ako ng bahay hahahahaha

[neo-shitty]

reading drown made me remember how much music personally means to me. i used to have a hard time sleeping back in 6th grade to the point that it badly affected my studies bc for some reason im wide awake at night, felt tired but still fully awake which made me unable to focus in school. so of course i researched what i can do since i didnt want to tell my parents (nasa google kaya lahat 😌) long story short, try listening to music daw 😭 so i did bUT since listening to music wasnt really my hobby, i didnt know what type i should start off and at that time, kpop just recently became big LMAO it was like around 2017 i think. so i liSTENED TO EXO since it was the group that i have been hearing around school AHAHAHAHA the song was baby, dont cry btw. it worked surprisingly, music does calm one's nerves. i didnt understand the lyrics ofc but just by the melody, it made everything around me peaceful. whenever i feel anxious, sad, or stressed, music is the way to go :"> SO EON STORY KO PANO AKO NAGING KPOP FAN 😭😭😭 parinig aq ng iyo po 🙇

pero ofc there were times when it was pointless. there were times na listening to music just made everything worse, it would just be another noise that would frustrate me more. kAYA ANG NEED DITO IS ANO TALAGA U KNOW OO ung pwede mong sandalan hahahaha kaso wala ako non :"> so while reading napapa "sige chan ahhaha sana ol sige sana ol may y/n ng buhay nila hahaha" pero real talk, it would be nice to have someone you can share all your worries with without feeling guilty of wasting their time kaya stray kids hopefully you wont be afraid to love someone freely 😌

uy pati nakakaqiqil si jae dito >:( pero no, bias ko pa den siya sa day6 <3 and the scene where chan was guiding reader along while she was riding his skateboard is so cute huhu ,,, lia is the mc in checkmate, correct?

para akong ewan kc you posted this 11 pm right? i always like reading/watching while lying down sO humiga ako kaso pagkahiga ko, inaantok ako agad :"> enjoying something while youre at your most comfortable position feels so ✨heavenly✨ but it makes me too comfy that it drowns me in sleepiness. like i need to sleep muna bago ako maka focus 100% sa ginagawa ko lmao eh since end of the day eon, pagod aq :"< SMALL RANT LNGS KC BIGLA KO NAPANSIN KAGABI HAHAHAHAHA actually pati this afternoon, manonood sana ako hometown chachacha kaso pagkabagsak ko, tulog. kaya tinuloy ko na lang after an hour of sleep huhu

speaking of hometown, im on ep 10 and its the first ep where seungmin's ost was showcased ! im really excited marinig siya later pag finish ko nung ep na eon. BY THIS TIME EP 12 KA NA NOH?? HOPEFULLY EHE EHE and yes justice para sa mga nababastos >:( daming cases here in our school last f2f tbh. ewan like kadalasan, based on my experience, sinisisi nila sa pananamit ng mga babae 👁️👄👁️ i watched a video/show wherein a boy got caught sexualizing ung kaklase niyang girl tas he defended himself by saying na ang ikli ng skirt ni ate girl but thats literally their uniform , scary honestly

pati ify sa ipis, idk why but im more scared sa ipis than mga daga kc naman ang ipis parang gagamba, bigla biglaan na lang mawawala :"> AH SO UN NGA DI AKO NAKAPUYAT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH PERO WANT KO NA ULE 😭 anong oras ka natulog?

i just realized then, almost all my feedbacks (?) rants abt your works, may included back story ko HAHAHAH like sa obliviate, harry potter kemene. sa on the ride home, yung untog series q. tas dito sa drown -> ^^^ syempre sa checkmate di ako relate kc di pa naman aq pumapanaw Y^Y

btw how was your day? pag gising ko sa umaga dumeretso aq proj, sipag i2. advance happy eating for dinner !

HAPPY CHANNN DAYYY ,, ayos na daw kurtina nila di ko pa nakikita pero inayos daw ni chan 😌👌

- 👻

glad i came home to a whole ass diary entry today omg owo

6TH GRADE HELP ISNT THAT LIKE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE AMNESIA ;n; hala baka magfalse diagnosis ka sa gogol ha, tell your parents next time kung may ano. oh yeah, mas better talaga kung di mo naiintindihan yung lyrics? bc you don't have to think of the lyrics too. music stopped working as a lullaby for me when quarantine started so i resorted to yt vids. but i still go for music whenever my self-esteem is low. noise music really boosts it *u* exo-l ka pa ba now? or you didn't stan? sinu-sino nga pala stinastan mo omg?

dude my story started in g2 when i heard fire by 2ne1 on the MIT top 20 of myx. i was quite a casual kpop fan up until late g10 when i started memorizing members (which i didn't do bc i was really just in it for the music not the groups).

HAJSHJAH truly tho it's nice to have someone around :'( namimiss ko na rin yung time na may 'y/n' ako but it's been so long that i'm fine on my own na HAJHAJ JAE IS MY BIAS TOO BUT ANTAGONIZING HIM WAS FUN. t'was bc of this vid (around the 28:18 to 29:20 mark; literally the inspo for the whole fic). yep, lia's checkmate's mc! the part abt guiding sa skateboard happened to me irl HIHIH #kilig #reminiscing kakamiss f2f

yeah at 11pm. i think i posted it too late bc it's not doing too well notes wise but whatever, it's chan day. HAHAH glad you slept easily though! MY BIGGEST SANA ALL. i slept at 3 na kanina bc i was either too hot or too cold.

how long is the kdrama? also i'm really proud of seungmin for scoring that ost :'( go get it, vocal king. NAUR I DIDNT GET TO FINISH THE ANIME BC I WENT AND WATCHED BSD KDJSKLJ i'll try and finish it tonight (bc i was out the whole day + i might be writing later) i fucking hate men. icb i'm at the point where i'm torn abt having a bf bc i kinda want a man but they're disgusting as hell???? it's hard to find the good ones nowadays.

mga ipis kasi feeling butterfly jsdhjfh at least yung daga aware ka kung asan ;n; IM SCARED OF SPIDERS TOO JDSKFJ wag ka magpuyat l8r kasi monday pero eh depends pa rin sau

oo nga pansin ko din yung back stories but they're interesting to read naman so i don't mind !! SANA DI KA TALAGA MAKARELATE SA CHECKMATE JUSQ do not claim the negative energy from that fic

we went to my mom's office earlier bc she wasn't feeling great and she couldn't come home yet kasi nakabubble siya doon. we just go thome tapos yown diretso answer sa ask HAHAH magtstsaa palang aq mamaya pa ata dinner namin mga 7 pero yeah advance happy eating din sayo!

AND YES HAPPY CHAN DAY <333 lol narealize ko lang both my ults had sunday birthdays this year o.O and OO HAJSHJAH i watched the chan's vlog last night (partly the reason why napuyat ako) and inayos niya yung curtain sa bandang huli <//3 can't tease them anymore HMP

[keiyoomi]

devastated | manager!reader ft. a. keiji & b. kōtarō

details: 100+ words; platonic relationship with them, devastated reader because of her exams, SELF-INDULGENT.

note: basically, reader is me after taking up my filipino midterm examination. jusq. 17/30??? 🙃 i memorized every words in that book tapos ganun kababa yung score??? puta.

👁👄👁

“eh?” kōtarō looks at akaashi who’s been watching your dejected state while pushing the ball cart away from the court. “what happened to her?” he asked.

“she received the results of her exam in one subject.” akaashi sips from the nozzle before continuing. “she thought she would ace it because she memorized everything, word by word. the thing is—”

his explanation was interrupted by a loud crash (?) coming from the storage room, followed by your pained voice. the fukurodani managers immediately rushed towards you.

akaashi looks at your direction with disbelief. “to be honest, her answers were on point and correct.”

“then, why is she acting weirdly? did she got a perfect score and additional points? was she that surprised to receive that?”

akaashi sighs before glancing at their ace. “she got one of the lowest points in the class.”

“eh?” kōtarō’s eyebrows furrowed. “why?”

akaashi shrugs before looking at your direction.

‘i guess none of us will ever know,’ he thought.

[justpassing--by]

20 Feb 2021

Snaps of Manila thru my new phone.

So proud of mi self for my progress so far ✨

Also daming ganap this day jusq walkathon all the way. Ganda ng Fort Santiago at night and mejo spooky din

[ria-vleeu]

Nagpaassist lang ako sa kanya one time. Di ko naman alam na forever na pala nya ako iaassist sa mga gagawin ko HAHAHAHA

Corny mo self. Jusq

[wwaninggibbous]

To Andi:

September 21, 2022 (4:20 am)

Hello Andi (⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ hehe naalimpungatan ako kaninang 3 am kasi mga 10 pm something ako nakatulog ka chat ko si Ky tas hindi na ako nakareply sa sobrang antok HAHAHAHAH oh diba before 11 ako nakatulog <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> very good no? hehe sana palagi HAHAHAHAH >< Uyy ano ha salamat talaga kahapon :(((((( actually I'm currently listening sa sinend mo playlist huhu hindi ko inexpect na gagawan mo ako ulit playlist naiiyak aq hehe wala lang na appreciate ko lang sobra hehe. Basta thank you for everything! I'll treasure every moment with you. Btw, sa aya mo ng kain idk lang huhu gusto ko naman kaso nahihiya rin talaga ako at the same time. Naalala ko sabi mo acne are normal naman kaso feeling ko kasi hindi ko mappresent sarili ko maayos that time. I want to look good for u rin naman syempre hehe. Btw, what you said about acne, I hold it dearly sa hart q ket gaano ka cliché minsan kailangan ko lang talaga marinig from someone. Tas ikaw pa nagsabi? 💯 Epal lang talaga 'tong insecurities ko eh panira. Gusto nga rin kita ayain ktv kasi alam ko mahilig ka ron. Mag try nga ko mag ikot sa arcade ng Sta. Lucia sa Thursday if my ktv sila para ayain kita ron after class tas sabay sana tayo uwi. Palusot ko lang talaga yung pagpapaturo ko umuwi sa cubao babaan eh kasi gusto kita makasama HAHAHAHA pero efficient din kasi para nga naman alam ko rin ibang ways pauwi 'di ba? <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> Thank you ulit Andi ha, na appreciate kita sobra. I want to give you the biggest hug!! Sana makayakap talaga ako sa'yo kapag nakita kita at hindi umiral ang pagka mahiyain ko HAHAHAHAH ket friendly hug lang pleek self wag ka na mahiya HAHAHAHAH ++ syempre if want mo rin. Pero alam ko dat daw on average day, may specific number of hugs marecieve mo eh. I'll make it up for all of it sa due hugs mo everyday <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)> antapang ni tanga HAHAHAHAHA Anyways, gusto ko lang din ilapag dito na I think of you not just when I'm not doing anything, but also when I'm busy. For short, anditots aq every moment of the day. Tas gagi ket alam ko na pure gbf energy mo lang sinend yung playlist, kinikilig ako tangena HAAHAHHAHA bukod kasi na magaganda opm songs naten, eh nanggaling pa sa'yo jusq lawd 💥

Ayon lang naman, tapos na bday ko and ikaw na next magbday sa atin. Balak ko isend sa'yo link netong tumblr link eh. Sana lang 'di ka maweirdohan about this huhu. Kinakausap kita dito even before nung blocked aq. Sorry na agad if weird 💥 hehe thank you ulit andrea (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡

Mayeng (21) <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

November.

By me.

[poleeeng]

Sakit ko na ata to syet. Yung antok na antok na, puyat at walang tulog pero di parin makatulog. Why why self? Jusq i need sleep.

[eaiabtch]

time check -- 2:07 P.M.

langya hapon na wala pa ring napasok sa utak ko huhu. more motivation pls!!

[taaaaangi]

bat kaya di ako dalawin ng antok? Papasok nanaman akong kulang sa tulog or worse walang tulog. Jusq naman self.