#jungle fascinates me to no end so no surprise I ended up talking about the whole instrumental

[rivetgoth]

Story time

The other night was like a torrential downpour by LA standards. Just absolutely pouring rain, crazy wind, the car being buffeted on the road, fallen trees. It was also one of our favorite weekly goth nights that we are trying very hard to get off the ground right now so we showed up knowing the turnout would be way lower than usual with the weather. The club itself was actually really nice that night, definitely more lowkey but we spent most of the evening talking and dancing and just hanging out with everyone. When the club ended and everyone got kicked out at ~1:55 or so, it was STILL pouring rain. Jason had managed to park closer than me and Angel so he offered to drive us to our car.

We hung out for awhile talking. All of us were still kinda tipsy so we were sobering up but we also just got into a conversation and I think we kinda just didn’t want to deal with the rain yet too. Since I wasn’t driving I’d done a shot at like 1:40 with a friend so I was kinda fucked up. We started talking about childhood fears. Angel said she was always scared of the TV turning on by itself in the middle of the night. I said I was scared of turning on the light while standing in front of a mirror at night and Jason agreed. Jason said he would try to hide fully under the blanket when he slept as a kid and would practice trying to hold his breath and stay as still as possible so he’d just look like a bundle of blanket so that if someone or something coming into his room it wouldn’t notice him.

Jason was playing Crash Worship’s Phuchi which around the 1:35 mark sounds to me like wet ghosts. We talked about the way certain fears seem so innate, like the fear or your limbs being exposed by hanging off the bed or not being covered by blankets potentially harkening back to being tree dwelling or not wanting to be seen by predators in the jungle or something. But other fears seem almost random, like fear of dolls or fear of televisions. Where do those come from in our psyche? I mentioned that I’m kinda fascinated by the very innate fear of eyes and teeth, smiles, being watched, etc, and how obviously it could stem from something so deeply ingrained about being watched through the foliage in the darkness, how nobody or nothing silently standing in the distance staring straight at you would have good intention, how predator animals have forward facing eyes. Angel mentioned how scared she was of windows as a kid, specifically of seeing a humanoid figure staring at her from a window, and me and Jason both agreed. In my first ever solo bedroom I had a huge sliding glass door that took up almost an entire wall of the room and at night I would try to stay turned fully away from it. I’d see our dogs run past sometimes and wonder where they were going or what they’d seen. Angel said she had a small window near the top of a large door to her bedroom that went to the outside and she would fear seeing eyes peering at her through it, which someone would have to be unnaturally tall to be able to do, like over 7 feet.

Suddenly there’s a loud knock on the front window beside where Jason is sitting in the driver’s seat and Jason jumps really bad, like the kind of "breath catching in your throat" sort of surprise. There is honest to god a face peering in. We’re all kinda shaken as he rolls down the window. We realize there’s two guys standing out there staring at us. I was so drunk I barely remember details but I asked Angel to describe them. Verbatim: “The one was tall, thin, handsome. Could have been a male model tbh. White, sharp pointed nose, clear skin, smiling. He had either a tattoo on his face or on his hand. Weird I can’t remember which one it was. Maybe both? Cowboy hat, shiny black leather jacket. Friendly, conversational, but in a weird politician/frat guy/WASP kind of way. The other guy was shorter, brunette, standing back, less remarkable.” It was easily near 3 AM at this point.

The guy in the cowboy hat asks if Jason is an Uber driver. Jason says he’s not.

“Do you guys know any after hours?” the guy says.

We all say no, we don’t.

“Do you guys WANT to go to an after hours?” the guy asks now.

“No. We’re just talking a little before heading home.” Jason says. Angel adds that we’re all really tired.

The guys seem bummed but don’t press it. Instead they ran down to the end of the street and started getting really rowdy all alone, just hanging out wrestling with each other, whooping and hollering; there were a bunch of potted trees sat in a row and they started shoving them over one by one, screaming as they did, causing this huge thunderous clattering while the rain kept pouring. Jason and Angel and I tried to keep talking for a bit longer but the conversation was kind of dead now, I think all of us were similarly unnerved by how bizarre the situation was and were keen on getting away from these guys.

When we finally got into our car to drive home they were still out there, knocking over the trees one by one. As we turned the corner one of them actually ran into the street after us. It was just so wild. The had such weird vibes, like these super high energy white frat boy tourists who were just running around in the pouring rain in the heart of Downtown LA at 3 in the morning. It felt, no exaggeration, EXACTLY like the opening of a horror movie. I’m not sure if they were the killers, or they die first, but either way someone would definitely die. Genuinely so surreal, couldn’t have imagined a more apt opening scene from the music to the conversation to the atmosphere before everything goes to shit lol. Very Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

My beloved jojosis 💜💅🌟🐬 for the ask game I give you chamomile, palm tree and papyrus (yesssss Akutagawa supremacy always, I hope my playlist will spark joy...... or deepen t h r i s t 👀)

Hello hello!! Your Akutagawa playlist did both (hehehe). It was so fun to listen to and I will go deeper with my thoughts after I listen to new playlists a few times, but you captured his essence perfectly and I would listen to the 3h long director's cut haha

And speaking of director's cuts, I have to put a cut here, because my reply got long skdhcgsh

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

I’m actually known to enjoy literally anything. Once my dad came to my room with a piece of paper and I said omg thank you so much!! wait what’s this? And he was laughing because I was so genuinely grateful that he was giving me something that I didn’t even bother to think what it was. And it was a simply doc I asked him to print for me ksjgsgsvd But I really like getting plushies. Whenever I get one, I give it a name and a place to sit in my room. Because of that I have quite a lot of them, but I still cherish them all.

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

To be honest, I think most villains are made to be enjoyable and liked as a character, not necessarily a person. And in my opinion most if not all villains I enjoy fit this category, so it’s a hard question. I think I’m gonna answer with Emperor Belos from The Owl House (I’m not going to spoiler any important plot lines, but if there are people who are still watching season 1 or 2, you might wanna scroll away for now), because there’s another villain who is obviously meant for the audience to like and Belos’ plotline is supposed to make him very unlikable, but that’s why I love him as a character. He’s a true ruthless villain who’s really well-written and recently it’s so rare. A lot of characters are getting redemption arcs and sometimes I just wanna see someone evil who thinks they’re being the good guy and their psyche is so twisted it’s chilling. Personally I think he steals every scene he’s in because of his confidence and the manipulation tactics he uses to get what he wants. He’s a genuine threat to main characters and the lore surrounding him is filled with mysteries and just enough clues for us to figure out his story which is fantastic. I love it when kids’ media treats its audience seriously. As of now it seems like he’s irredeemable and is the type of villain that has to be killed in the end and I hope it stays this way. I really want to see him get what he deserves. The Owl House is already a really dark show, so they may as well go for it.

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

Once again I’m using my go-to k-pop playlist, because it’s much more reliable. Funnily enough though, the first result I got was Whiplash by NCT 127 and I’m not discussing it publicly. Read the lyrics and watch this interview and that’s all you need to know.

The second pick is Jungle by Cix and this one is so interesting. I’m pretty sure that the mv was inspired by Dante’s Divine Comedy (specifically Inferno) and the song itself is about going through the depths of a forest as a metaphor for competition in the industry. And these concepts fit together really well. The lyrics are nice to read, they have this darkness that I like and not to spoil too much, but they kinda seem like something you’d enjoy.

Onto the instrumental we go and it’s one of the best I've ever heard. The beginning really gives me that sense of forest at night that’s scary, dark and easy to ge lost in. And it sounds a bit like a noise that you could hear like a bird far away and its voice echoing through space with some sinister sprinkle added to it. It’s literally like the first 5 seconds, but it already makes me really interested in the concept and gets my full attention immediately.

To begin with, I love how much this song uses piano. I feel like there’s something special about songs that know how to balance piano or like violin or guitar with more electronic elements and this one has a perfect balance between the two. The whole first part of the song until the second verse is basically piano with some bass in the background later on – the first verse is mysterious and it’s just piano, then we have a fascinating pre-chorus with church-like organs (suitable for a journey through Hell) setting the stage for the drop and finally the chorus that goes back to piano but this time it has bass added in the background and some extra sounds, but it’s still pretty tame. And then the interlude happens and it’s like a splash of everything and it changes the song completely.

Now the second verse has both the piano and the beat (and some minor extra sounds) and we have a little drum moment in the middle and afterwards another instruments joins which is once again a great build-up for these church organs in the pre-chorus. And this time pre-chorus also gets church organs and a guitar? I think it’s a guitar? Could be a synthesizer, but sounds a bit more like a processed guitar. Then we have something really really cool, because the chorus only has bass and some clapping unlike what we previously heard. The piano is gone now. This whole progression make the atmoshpere get more dangerous, there are no elements in the instrumental just like there are new obstacles for the lyrical I to get through. And then we get this chorus that’s stripped from everything besides the minimal background which is an amazingly done fake-like anti-drop (anti-drop – when the intrumental becomes minimal instead of doing a beat drop that's followed by some more instruments). We expect the drop to go even harder than the last time because each section had new elements added as we went and here we get a surprise and that doesn’t happen, BUT then the drop happens and hits even better afterwards, because that fake anti-drop made us second guess what was going to happen. And I think it’s especially cool because it doesn’t happen with the 1st chorus, but with the 2nd when we think we know what to expect. It’s better in the clear instrumental, because vocals make it harder to pay attention to the intrumental, but I thought it was a nice detail to talk about.

The bridge adds new elements while mixing in what we’ve heard so far. It begins with that fake anti-drop chorus we’ve heard a few seconds before, but then it changes into a completely new section which has like horns and synthesizers? (a good moment to say that I have no musical education whatsoever but this sound is like a horn that my keyboard could make if I searched for a specific mode? So really I don’t know but I like it haha) And then it swiftly goes to the last chorus. And it’s all so smooth, it goes from one part to the other perfectly! There are some other nice elements in this song like breathing which tells you that this person was running (probably from danger) and the lyrics do say The only sound I hear is heavy breathing a few lines earlier (which makes it beautiful narrativelly), but unless you speak Korean, you won’t catch it, so for me I first hear the heavy breathing and then the word RUN (which is said numerous time and is like the theme of the song), so it’s this nice showing before telling (and maybe telling the person not to stop running because danger is still out there).

And yeah that's basically it. The question was what I like about the song, but because I like everything, the answer had to be long. Now I don't really have any specific associations with it, but I think that's fine, because it's already more than I needed to write haha

[hqmillioncorn]

FFxivWrite: Day nine.......Yawn!

‘Hope bloomed from the abyss.’

cherrypit had been two years old for a very very long time. but sometimes you just get used to how things are for a while  then you dont get used to it 

Cherrypit knew he was different from the other kids.

It was a little odd to have never come across any other children risking life and limb to save Eorzea or at least none of the ones he and Babycorn had ever run into had ever been as young as him. 

Most kids he and his sister ran into tended to hang around in one place and when Cherrypit asked a group of them in Ala Mhigo if any of them also had an imaginary best friend that taught them how to harness the power of darkness within them most of them looked at him like his head had fallen off.

(don’t ask how he knows what that look looks like)

In Cherrypit’s experience it always ended up the same way.

He would meet some new kids (most of the time they would be a few years older than him Sometimes they would be much older than him) They would talk about how cool it was that Babycorn was the Warrior of Light and how cool it must be to travel around with her.

“My friend told me the Warrior of Light is super strong!”

“Did she really fight a whoooole dragon?!”

“That’s nothing!I heard that the Warrior of Light is strong enough to fight a hundred dragons by herself!”

“Bebe has done all that and more!!!!” Cherrypit answered in his own way. Sometimes it would be hard to decipher what his excited baby babble was really saying, in these sorts of situations only Babycorn and those really close to him would be able to understand him.

In the situations other kids understood what Cherrypit was trying to get across they would ask him what cool things he saw traveling with Babycorn. The story Cherrypit always told was the one about how he and Babycorn once had to go through a jungle once and fight a bunch of monsters. And also eat cheese!

Then he would tell everyone about the time Babycorn let him break a really big rock.

He would then proceed to demonstrate how he broke said really big rock.

Since really big rocks weren’t too easy to find, Cherrypit always settled for cracking the ground beneath them. “Ta-da!” Then Cherrypit would turn around, his arms in the shape of claws and his face twisted and distorted in all sorts of different directions.

Cherrypit had come to expect that most people ran away screaming after that.

Sometimes he would get lucky. There were a handful of children that were fascinated by Cherrypit’s terrifying feats, though those were few and far between and Cherrypit would almost never see them again after that since he and Babycorn were quickly whisked someplace else.

Cherrypit was too caught up in making his own fun to let something like that bother him.

However, after their adventures in the First were done and everyone was finally back home, he and Babycorn decided to wander Eorzea for a hot minute just to see how things had been holding up in everyone’s absence. That’s when Cherrypit noticed something. All the kids he’d talked to in the past were growing up. Some of them had even gotten a lot taller now.

Almost all of them immediately recognized Cherrypit. It wasn’t too surprising, he had hardly changed at all over the years. Cherrypit overheard some people say this to Babycorn, her only response was to laugh nervously before she got all quiet.

Cherrypit still wanted to play with the kids who were older now. He tried to make his arms and legs bigger so he would be taller. He couldn’t maintain a stable shape to them and they ended up scaring them off.

“Where are you going?” Most of Cherrypit’s full sentences by now were just echoes of other things people have said around him. By now though, he was used to saying this particular string of words, in that order.

Most of the time Cherrypit was too busy having fun and running around to worry about things like that. His life didn’t feel any different than it would have if he was older and he liked to be small enough to crawl into places. Then he could pop out and scare people with a big loud BOO!

It also helped that he had friends at home too!

All the stuffed dolls and toys he had were his friends! Babycorn had taught him to treat his toys nicely and they would be nice to him back. It was a harmless lesson Babycorn told him so he wouldn’t be too rough with his toys and break them. She never would have imagined that Cherrypit had some sort of special way with dolls that made it seem they were alive.

Though, according to Cherrypit they were alive. Nobody had ever asked his toys before him.

Cherrypit was also friends with the other kids at home. They didn’t find him weird or scary at all! Not Colala, not Gyosei, and not Linnet! They were all his friends! Linnet was even a big fan of the tricks he could pull off and was always amazed at how he pulled them off.

Colala was the most like Cherrypit, though he wouldn’t catch on until years from now. For now she was a really good friend that with both of their heights combined-could reach even the tallest shelf! And though Cherrypit had to be reminded multiple times not to chase Gyosei too much, he enjoyed waddling behind her.

Cherrypit didn’t really mind that he was stuck like this, at least, not all the time.

There was one day when Cherrypit had overheard that Lunya was going to invite her own little brother, Taro, over for lunch that afternoon. Cherrypit ran around on the ceiling in excitement all morning and when the afternoon finally came he waited outside in the bushes with Babycorn to say hello to Taro.

They’d already met beforehand and Cherrypit thought that Taro was the coolest guy he’d ever met since he saw Estinien do that cool backflip once.

“Where? Where?” Cherrypit zipped his head from left to right looking for any signs of him.

Babycorn held her brother slightly above the ground as his feet wiggled in the air. “I know you’re excited to see him Cherry, but why don’t we let Taro and Lunya have their lunch before you go and say hi to him?” She knew as much as anyone did that sibling hang-out time was not to be interrupted.

“Okaaaayyyy” Cherrypit whined.

Babycorn and Cherrypit waved to Lunya as she walked past them to go say hi to Taro. Cherrypit noticed she was wearing a pink sundress and he tugged on Babycorn’s skirt to ask her if he could have one like it too. Babycorn nodded and smiled, promising to get one for him later.

As she carried him back into the house, Cherrypit looked behind her to see that Lunya and Taro were standing next to each other, talking with one another. 

Cherrypit had never really noticed it before because Taro had never stood next to Lunya in all the times he’d played with him but now that they were next to each other. It was easy to see that Taro was much taller than Lunya was.

That didn’t make sense. If Taro was Lunya’s little brother, how could he be bigger than her?

Taro was talking to Lunya, and Lunya was talking to Taro. Lunya didn’t need to pick him up to talk to him. It looked like they were having a lot of fun.

If things had been different, would he had been tall too?

Maybe he and Babycorn would still be adventuring together? If he was taller he would have been able to walk beside her everywhere. They wouldn’t have had to hide everywhere. No one would run away from him when he walked up to them. He would have so many friends.

Cherrypit didn’t realize it at the time but he had somehow tapped into something he was never meant to see.

There was white everywhere he turned to look, except for the dark chasm near his feet. Cherrypit tried to look to see what was on the other side of the cliff. 

There, clear as day, was his family. They were laughing and talking with each other. His mama and papa looked just like he remembered them but Babycorn looked like what she looked like just a few moments ago. Next to her was someone Cherrypit didn’t recognize but he knew who it was.

It was him. An older him.

They all looked like they were having so much fun…

Cherrypit didn’t stay there looking for long. It took a few seconds for him to blink back to his reality. Babycorn was still carrying him. “I hope Lunya saves some leftovers for us! I saw her making these cute little cakes and they looked so yummmyy!” Cherrypit had seen her decorating them too! They had strawberries on top!

“Bebe?” Cherrypit tapped on his sister’s head to get her attention.

“Hmm?” When Cherrypit made a motion to put him on the ground she gently set him down, “What’s up? Oh! Do you want a snack?” It was almost snack time.

Cherrypit shook his head and put his hand above his head as much as he could. When he felt that wasn’t enough he stretched out his arm and let his other appendages come out too. Babycorn would have to reapply his bandages but they had a lot of those now, unlike before.

“Am I big one day?” Cherrypit asked.

“Of course!” Babycorn didn’t miss a beat, nothing had changed her mind that one day Cherrypit would be able to grow up and do whatever he wanted to do with his life when he grew up. “You’re gonna get soooo tall Cherry! I know you will! Maybe you’ll even be taller than me!”

‘I’ll cry if that happens…But if it's what Cherry wants…’

“Tall! Tall! Big! I;m gonna be…big!” Cherrypit jumped up and down and waved his arms in the air. If Babycorn told him he was gonna be big one day, then of course he was gonna be! One day! Maybe even tomorrow! “Yay! Yay! Yaaaaaay!” he cheered.

“Woahwoahwoahwoahwoaowa! Cherry w-wait! N-Not with your arms like that! Noooo not the ceiling!!!” Babycorn zipped to the left to dodge a piece of the ceiling falling on her. 

It went right through the floor and into the basement. She looked down at the hole that now lead downstairs. “...I hope Coco won’t fall into this hole too…”

[lovee-infected]

hello! may i please request NSFW headcanons of Lilia, Rook, Chenya (if you write for him), and Floyd dating a f!mc who is a brat in bed? thank you! (ps, i love your work so much, you deserve more attention and love!!!💖💖💖💖💖)

Feeling spicy tonight, aren't we?~

Warning(s): Nsfw, Bdsm, Orgasm denial, Dirty talk, Cum play

Spice will remain undercut!

He loves to have you explore his body. You little koebi sure are pretty curious, aren't you? He's a brat all the time nonetheless of how you're going to play, but watching your enthusiasm to challenge him and his big dick energy in bed makes him wants to take a step back and watch how far you may go.

He can pin you down within a second but if you wanna top, go on. It's your chance to show him how entertaining you can be, though it won't last all night. He'd just lend your body for you to play until you no longer can. But in case that you'd prefer to have him top you instead he won't be as kind.

Floyd has literally got no mercy when he tops, and having you continuing to tease him although you're well aware of what his immense thirst can do to you can only have one meaning: You want more. You look so cute when you get nasty in bed, so adorable. He loves in so much when you, his naughty baby, squirm under his rough touch like a tiny fish begging for water.

You won't need to tell him to go any harder or faster, he already knows how to turn the bed into a jungle. All he needs is you going along with his rough pace and driving him even crazier than usual.

Be careful not to go too far though, he's got his own limits. You're free to do whatever you want as long as he hasn't reached his orgasm but note that if you keep on teasing him afterwards even Floyd can be bothered. Better slow down with a slower pace or softer actions like kisses on tip of his cock or softly licking him so he can enjoy his orgasm.

Instead of getting to the point of causing him too much pain or making him ask you to stop, try teasing him. If he ejaculates in your mouth, instead of immediately swallowing it, keep it in your mouth and play with it. He'd surely be turned on even more if you go kinkier, you can open your mouth and use your fingers to play with his warm, sticky load. Making satisfying sounds or just gently humming "Mmmmm" as if you're so hungry for him to feed you his seed is another way of making it more erotic for both of you.

Go as kinky as you want to, but don't be fascinated if he decides to punish you when you're done. He'll force you to wear your underwear without cleaning after sex so you'll have to keep his seed on all the time. No need to mention that he'd probably leave a mess of markings and bites on you especially on places that are hard to hide, even your cheek.

You may be a brat in bed but remember that Floyd would continue to be a brat even after you're done, so when you're playing around in bed, better be prepared for the consequences coming after wards.

You know what they say: “Treat her like a Queen, fuck her like a whore.” Doesn't matter how much of a gentleman Rook is in the daylight, when the night comes, he's just the animal and you're the pray, watch him eat you.

Not that Rook is always one to go that wild during sex since he's still pretty considering toward his darling's emotions and limitations; he doesn't want to be the one enjoying your lovely time after all. He is more into love making than just having sex for fun, but he'd prefer it with more, well, excitement.

Why of course he doesn't mind you being a brat at all since it's nothing different from receiving your permission to go wild. Wanna play? Let's play.

You may end up being the one topping him at first because he is probably... intrigued. He likes to see whether your actions are as tough as your words when you ride him or not. Remember: He's got the stamina. He'll patiently wait until you can't take it anymore then pin you back and have his own turn. See how the tables are turned-? He can go for long, tiring rounds all night leaving you both in a mess of sweat and each other's juices as you'd still have to take in his huge cock.

When he tops, there's no stop until he makes you scream. He'd love to see how you'd go from a insubordinate brat to a helpless bottom hoe begging for mercy. So pittyful and needy, isn't that just beautiful?

Though he's quite the opposite as a bottom. He can see your growing excitement and nasty thoughts through your eyes so he doesn't mind giving you the chance to take advantage of him. He'll give his body to you with pleasure so you can play with him as you wish.

Other than getting to have his perfectly masculine body and sexy abs, remember etter that that soft, thicc and squishy butt of this man is an absolute treasure on its own so you better not lose the chance of getting to eat mister Hunt. You can get him to lie on his chest while still on knees so he is pushing his ass into the air, giving you the best advantage to have your meal.

You can do whatever you'd like to then, show how much you can do with that mouth of yours. Even give him a rim job in case you're into it. Use lots of saliva to make more enjoyable as you kiss or lick, he'd absolutely love it. Best part would be... biting. That squishy flesh of ass of his is softer than you'd ever imagine so better take the chance to eat him. In contrast to many men Rook doesn't mind you leaving some of those savage markings on his ass and you'd even get to hear him letting out some deep, sensual moans to the pillow when you're having his butt. It'd surely drown him in pleasure.

Got a kink you wanna try? Go on and throw it at him. He doesn't mind trying new things on you but often decides to let you be the one choosing them. Mostly because of the high possibility of his choices being too much for you, he doesn't want it to be that merciless. Be careful not to give him too much power though, try not to bring in any dangerous kinks otherwise it cannot be guaranteed if Rook can hold himself back or not.

Beware, Rook is a gentleman who knows when not to be gentle...

Oh lord, is he being underestimated? No matter how much of a brat you are, when Vanrouge's in the mood it's far beyond your limits to have a chance against a this pink gremlin in bed.

Better be into bdsm: Chains? Whips? Collars? Gags? Ropes? Butt plugs? Bring it on baby!

He actually does already keep quite a few of bdsm toys and matetials in his room, somewhere no one else can find but him of course. He allows you to choose your favorite color what he's going to use on you and when it's the time, he allows you to choose them for him.

Tie him up and make him your bottom slave, he doesn't mind at all~ People are quite predictable and uninteresting these days so, he likes to see how you may surprise him. Go nasty, go feral, go wild. Make him seriously cum after all these years with his uncool sleeping mates.

He may not seem to but he's quite hard to satisfy, especially as a bottom. Doesn't matter how much he's enjoying himself between your legs, it isn't going to hold him back from trying to piss you off.

"My my, Is that all you've got...? And I thought you were going to bring me some fun..."

He has a thing for humiliating you and watch how far you can go to prove him wrong. Top brat x bottom rat= Ultimate freaky cycle.

Regardless of how much of a bottom he can be, better be prepared for the times he tops. Both of you are freaks in bed but there's a difference: He's got the power. He'll definitely make you cry even if he has to use another of those orgasm spells on you.

As a top he'd want total dominance over his darling but he sure does want it to be hard to achieve. He wants to have to push you back in bed. Tease him so he can tease you even more, that's how it works.

Is into into inflicting pain through both physical side( Biting, chewing, nailing) and the erotic side. Leaving Markings behind and bloodplay may be his simplest kinks but he's also got a thing for playing with your body and mind.

Misbehave and you'd be punished; he can easily dig his long fingers inside you and have his long nail mercilessly crumb your walls before pulling out right as you're about to cum, leaving you in a painful mess inside your stomach wanting to cum so badly.

He's such a freak ass for edging, he'd get you to the brink of orgasm then backs off. He'd repeat this over and over as long as he likes to play before giving you an explosive orgasm. To bring you even more pain, he'd come up with one of his secret orgasmic spells to make you even needier that'll make you cry in pain. Ah yes, he is being a bitch and he doesn't mind at all. You would often end up screaming as you beg Lilia to let you cum, as if he's going to give in this easily. He's going to make sure that you'd learn your lesson.

"N-gah sugar. You gotta be punished for your veeeerrry poor manners tonight. My pet must learn to behave,"

Were you looking for that one pink neko who also happens to be a bottom bitch? Here he is! So get on top of him and kitty-play with him all night because it's all both you and him are asking for.

He isn't even going to fight back, things are much easier and better when someone else is in charge of the game, he can just lay back and enjoy the show. You have no idea how much fun you bring him everytime you pin him to the bed and tell him what a fuckable furry he is.

Chenya as well has got a little bratty side in him which can also be seen in bed; but it usually won't go any further than either make specific parts of his body invisible right at the moment you aren't expecting him to (Especially when you're giving him a hand job / blow job and suddenly his cock fades away-) or giving you nicknames. He isn't really into cursing or calling his partner names in bed but sure does have a thing for them having nicknames; especially those that radiate top energy. He'd actually come up with lots of fancy nicknames for you: Poison cookie, Marsh Mallow, Juicy lips, Majesty, Mama, Sexy witch,...

He's lowkey into bdsm as well so go get him some pink collars and gags, maybe some ropes tie him to bed as well- Note that he really enjoys getting o your nerves and having you punish him after wards. The harder, the better.

Chenya is more than ready to be your pet in bed so don't be surprised when he calls you mama; he's your pink naughty bitch so go on and would love it if you punish him for being such a nasty kitten.

He literally wants you to treat him like your bitch so the brattier you get, the more he'll love it. One of his favorites would be when yo give him one of those wild rides as you savagely pull the chain connecting to the tight collar you've put around his neck, lowkey choking him everytime you pull it up.

He loves watching you play with his cock, even thinking about that seductive sight between his legs as you take his length in makes him want to cum.

As he leaves most of the play-thing and decisions to his darling you won't get to see him doing much more than breathlessly smirking through his moans and dirty talking, telling you to either discipline him like a slut or keep him tied up forever and use him as your personal sex toy.

In case that you want to use him even more, know that he's an absolutely cute one to be pegged, his ass is more than ready for you to make him cry.

Feel free to sit oon his face cause he'd gladly command your order. While being a bottom hoe, he still knows how to put that mouth of his into use to satisfy his owner. his long togue would sharpy dance through your clit making you all wet in your magical juice like heck, he's really got something speak in that filthy tongue that'll make you want to force him to eat you out over and over.

He'd be recklessly laughing through his moans as if he's mistaken having sex with a free visit to the circus. He sometimes rambles nonsense as well; asking you unrelated questions using fancy nicknames he has given you. He mainly means to get on your nerves through it so you'd go even wilder.

See he loves having you punish him, bad kitties need a lesson.

[excellentexecution]

||

Anonymous asked: Come on, you've probably held a few crushes and fantasies for fellow wrestlers, right?

Curious Anons!

Romance was always in the air when it came to the WWF. Love powerful enough to intoxicate any and all within reach, it had broken apart friendships and caused rivalries just as often, too. Poisoned the minds who danced so close - overwhelmed the senses of good men and women alike - cleansed wickedness and made it pure. A wonderful dream that sometimes found terrible end, it had caught the heart of the Hitman once, twice, before. Himself never bulletproof to the bite of love, birds and bees and the scent of springtime, like a bandit had it wound itself around his heart, the very shape of his soul. Dynamite had been the first. Short in stature but mighty in skill, more like a jungle cat than a field mouse, even for the foulness of his mouth, Tom was cute, someone that Bret couldn’t stand to be parted from for long. An attractive person despite all of the issues. A man who could’ve been great had he not been so mean, so cruel to those called friend, facts were hard to swallow, the truth. Dynamite Kid was a wreck. Bret wouldn’t be able to save him. Any help would’ve fallen on deaf ears. 

Miss Elizabeth was the second. Least from within the professional wrestling world, a wild and unpredictable circus of crazy, never had the Hitman met a person so sweet before. Natural and kind in heart - a smile that could just light up a room and bring comfort to all of those who needed it - she was nice. Polite, likeable and a joy to talk to, never did Elizabeth make Bret feel bad about anything. She never teased him for the quirks that had others branding him as weird. Never poked fun at his shyness, the shadow who preferred quiet rather than noise, the man who hated the party scene and just wanted to find peace. Elizabeth was beautiful. Dressed in sparkles, makeup just perfect for her features, she outclassed any other lady who tried to step into her shoes. Other managers left to look like second-rate impersonations, unkempt in their suits or skirts or whatever they had chosen to wear while out and about, Bret never did confess to her his feelings. Perhaps was too afraid to ruin their friendship; was perhaps scared of what Macho Man would do. Never would the Hitman be the cause to his friend’s heartbreak. Reason number one - he loved both Randy and Miss Elizabeth too much - respected them beyond measure. 

Not to be forgotten nor excluded, infatuation had knocked on Bret’s door many times thereafter, when both Tom and Liz had escaped from the WWF and its clutches. Crushes of the past saved as pleasant memories, then - Alundra and Tatanka and Sunny and LaFitte - heroes and villains alike had gotten underneath his skin. For factors that even he couldn’t explain, courtesy and callousness a confusing bunch of emotions, fascinations that didn’t make proper sense yet did so, secrets kept just to himself and none else. Bret wasn’t the sort to admit to such. An unbreakable wall that never trembled - would never bend to the questions asked - serious and professional was the name of the game that the Hitman played. 

“Well, yeah, of course. I think most people would, y’know. Just like any other career or field, you’re gonna find yourself developing feelings for other people. Might not always be romantic, but you will develop an attraction of some sort. I would expect it. That’s just the nature of human beings.”

Bret nodded, smiled and worked his fingers into his hair, untangled the curls a bit. “I won’t name any names, out of respect for my fellow wrestlers, for myself and my personal life, but like I said, yes, I have had a few crushes. When you’re around these people 24/7, it’s hard not to get to know them better than you would otherwise. You get a sense for who they truly are as people. Y’know, it doesn’t surprise me at all, sometimes. Seeing certain wrestlers together, as a couple. It all makes sense when you’ve seen them interact for months and months at a time. I don’t think the fans realize just how often it is. There’s been more love affairs in the WWF than they could probably even begin to imagine. More of an acceptance to certain relationships, too. But it’s all very hush-hush, y’know. Kept between the boys and the girls in the back and that’s it. I don’t mind it. Being a man who likes having his privacy, especially when it comes to dating, I do appreciate when my fellow wrestler gives me that sort of respect, when they don’t go telling the whole world about who I’m with. I only try to do the same.”

___

[heresathreebee]

Old Stomping Ground

[Ava Starr X Female Reader]

Summary: One of the good things to come out of constant alien invasions are the abandoned ruins of New York, and you’re fixing to show Ava your favorite place. Previous Masterlist Next

Tag(s): 13+ | can be reader gender and race neutral reader but is written with woc readers in mind, no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp, Ava and reader on an adventure in post Avenger's New York, homelessness, alien trees and the power of community.

AN: no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp. No beta, we die like men. Just you and Ava having a short adventure.

You took three days off of work for this one. Packed two backpacks with food, water, clothes, and other supplies. Bedrolls and bug spray and hiking poles. Ava laughed at your enthusiasm but she seemed to vibrate with excitement right along with you. 

"Can you at least tell me where we're going," she pleaded. 

You ran through the end of the checklist for the third time, trying to be extra careful now that you wouldn't be hoofing it solo. You dodged the question expertly with a "it's not far and it's not dangerous so hush! Learn to enjoy the mystery, babe." 

Ava rolled her eyes playfully but stopped asking and let you finish. After that you ate a hearty breakfast and began your journey north by northwest. In the taxi, your girlfriend's eyes darted from building to building as you turned on every street and you mentally gave up on scolding her. She was too pragmatic to allow for that level of trust yet. 

You were surprised that it took her until you passed the ruins of the daycare you once attended that she whipped her head around to whisper, "is this… Leviathan alley?" 

You shush her but can't keep the excited grin from your face. "It's a bit more than just an alley." 

Once SHIELD was finished stripping for parts and gutting the cybernetically enhanced alien creature left behind in the Battle of New York, the rest was abandoned. The city's been planning to clean up and rebuild but there are scores in the earth where the leviathan crashed and crumbling, precarious buildings that need to be brought down first in the safest way possible. While the city’s been debating how to deal with the destruction, the poor and destitute had moved in and discovered the blood of the chitauri has some very interesting properties. 

"It's like it changes the property of concrete," you explained, climbing over rubble and reaching back to pull her up, "uhg– breaks it down into some kind of hyper fertilizer. There's this copse of trees growing where we think the stomach was and I think in its natural habitat, the creature was probably an omnivore of sorts and may have swallowed thousands of seeds–" 

"That's all very fascinating dear, could you please take this?" Ava shoves a canteen into your hands and cups your hands to bring it closer to your mouth. You've climbed for what feels like miles and hey, you are pretty parched. "Think we'd better rest and eat, maybe look for a safe place to set up camp and… oh, look over there!" 

Ava's sudden whisper makes you turn. It's green in that direction, though this 'alley' is shrouded in darkness due to the dome made from the spine and ribs of the leviathan, the sprigs seem to grow just fine, becoming taller as they moved farther away from you until they began to develop woody stalks and trunks. 

"That's the forest you were talking about," Ava whispered in awe. “I wanna get a closer look.” 

You gently caught her arm. “Camp first, eat. It’ll still be here tomorrow.” 

~ 

Ava didn’t expect you to take her into an encampment. There were two dozen people in tents, an open grill going and laughter. They seemed to recognize you. It was mostly older adults, a few elderly people wrapped in thick blankets and teens walking around asking anyone needed drinks. You grabbed the blanket from your pack and wrapped Ava in it as soon as she found a seat on a slab of concrete. 

"Comfy?" 

Ava smiled up at you, taking the proffered fruit slice from you. "Very." 

She examined the strange fruit. It had a thin violet skin with a spongy white inner layer and pink juice with black seeds  dripping from it. She leabed over your shoulder get a look at the fruit as a whole, and it seemed the pink goop was loose inside the fruit similar to a coconut. 

"Are these from the trees," she asked. 

"Yeah, they're edible don't worry. No side effects we've seen," you assure. 

Ava nods but as she's licking the tangy pink juice you continue, "well except for Nadia but she's a mutant." 

Ava flicks worried green eyes at you and slowly takes the fruit from her mouth. She's already swallowed on reflex so there's no turning back now, only managing whatever weird things would come next. 

"Uh… what do you mean by that?" 

You blink at Ava. "Oh it's not, like, bad or anything. Right, Nadia?" 

A dark skinned girl in an orange beanie looked up from her phone. "What?" 

"Tauri makes you, what, gassy?" 

The man on the grill threw his head back in a laugh and Nadia kicked a rock at you. "Ha hah, you're everybody's favorite clown in the circus. It doesn't make me gassy, you jerk, it makes me smell like roses actually." 

"Oh," Ava said, "that's all?" 

You and Nadia shared a knowing look. "It's strong. Not overpowering but strong like you've got your nose buried in a whole bouquet of them." 

"And your fingers tingle and you make sparkles– " 

"Nadia I think that's just you, baby!" 

People laughed and the conversation died down. Ava let the slip of tauri fruit linger in her grasp until you gently pried it out and ate it yourself. You were side eyeing her but kept your question to yourself and eventually Ava was able to relax. She fell asleep during Nadia's uncle Rodney's story with her head on your shoulder and dreamed of violet things. Violet dresses, violet paint, violet fires, and violet sprigs. 

All you could dream of was the smell of roses so close and so thick you could touch it. 

~

The walk through the natural path as the trees got thicker finally prompted Ava to ask the question that's been plaguing her. "How do you know them? Are they family?" 

You cast a quick glance over your shoulder and slowed your pace to match hers as your fingers tapped the straps of your backpack nervously. "Sort of. They were family when I had no home to go to. Then I got a job with enough money and a stupid good deal on my apartment because I had no priors. 

"Rodney and Jules and some of the others prefer it out here with the forest. Some of them have nowhere else to go or no way to take care of themselves. Nadia's been kicked out of every home she's ever been to, but she won't go to that gifted school for mutants in Westchester county. Can't say I blame her either." 

"School for mutants, eh," Ava said as she trudged on, "interesting." 

You walked along in silence, drinking in the inviting quiet of the forest and the tiny chirps and peeps of its new inhabitants. You'd almost say it would be a shame to tear this place down knowing it's a new natural habitat, but you know New York had a hundred bigger and more pressing issues to deal with right now. As long as any capitalist moguls kept their eyes elsewhere, the new jungle should be fine. 

As the forest becomes denser, you have to pull a rechargeable flashlight out to see the ground beneath you. Black bugs crawl under and over the brush and fallen twigs, and something no bigger than a cat scuttles away out of the path of the light. Ava puts a hand on your arm and you open your mouth to assure her you'd protect her, but as you look at her you realize she's ready to protect you. Arm poised out and eyes darting around for signs of sudden movement from the brush. 

You walk in silence for what feels like an fantastic eternity but when you look at the canopy you stop yourself. Ava looks up to, gently taking a hold of your hand to keep you close and it sends tingles up your arm. She rarely reaches for you but she seems to be growing more and more confident of it. 

Light dances beyond the thicket of the leaves. Green and gold flashes as a soft breeze creates gaps beyond the chitauri rib ceiling and every time a light flashes you feel warmth on your skin like soft little kisses. 

Something wooden creaks, and that creaking quickly turns to snapping. You unconsciously squeeze Ava's fingers as you spot a black tree trunk beginning to fall towards you. Suddenly, Ava's arms are around you and she pulls you down into a duck. 

Everything happens so fast it blinds you. You can't see, can only feel as shivers of warmth and cold jitter through your entire being, drowning you into sensations you've never felt before. It makes you feel fear more than anything. Is this how you die? Cowering? 

When the sounds of falling trees stop, there is only the wind and the rush of Ava's windbreaker against yours. You test your fingers to see if they still work and dig them into her back. Nothing broken, you're still standing if gravity is correct. 

She finally lets you lift your head from her embrace and survey the scene. That tree opened a spot in the canopy for more natural light to pour in which is good because your flashlight was lost among the thick bramble bushes. 

Ava brushes your forehead. "Are you OK?" 

It must be a trick of the light but she looks like she's shimmering. Perhaps you hit your head or something but it seems like you never fell. Your standing just beside the fallen tree but you could have sworn you'd almost felt it go through you. And then…

And then there was the smell of roses. 

"I'm fine," you say at last. "Let's get back, probably shouldn't have come here by ourselves anyways…" 

Ava gives you a look, it almost looks like trepidation. You steel your resolve and press on to retrace your steps, knowing you had a lot of walking to do before you would exit the treeline. 

Ava has powers and you're ok with that. You'll just let her tell you in her own time. 

[kamenriderlogik27]

Kamen Rider headcanons part 1: Saber meets Ex-Aid!

I've been thinking about this for a while. Not sure why my brain chose Ex-Aid though. Just kinda happened. hehe. It took me a lot longer to write than I was hoping 'cause I ended up getting writer's block somewhere near the end, and didn't entirely know how to end it. Not much action either since I can't write action scenes, but hopefully ya'll will like it!

- It was a bright, sunny day with no sign of megido activity. Touma and Mei were traveling to Tokyo due to Touma having a book reading scheduled at Seito University Hospital. Rintaro, intrigued by the idea of finally being able to visit a grand medical institution, decided to tag along under the guise that it'd be better for him to go as backup just in case something happened.

- Upon arrival, the trio run into Ogami and his son, Sora. Who the latter is scheduled an annual check up at the hospital and was following a nurse.

- After hearing about Touma's book reading, Sora begged Ogami to let him stay so he could join them. Ogami gave no hesitation in giving his son permission to stay after his check up. This actually played in Ogami's favor 'cause he had something to do down the street (probably to get bakery sweets for his son and wife or something.) So he asked Rintaro and Mei to help Sora with his check up, and left before hearing their response.

- A bit dumbfounded but not surprised, Mei quickly told Touma to check in at the front so a nurse could escort him to set up, then she and Rintaro both took Sora's hands and followed the (surprisingly patient) nurse to their assigned hospital room.

- On their way to the room, the nurse quickly stopped near a scale, asked Sora to take off his shoes and started taking his height and weight measurements. Mei had to stop Rintaro from taking off his second shoe (he already had the first one off) as he thought that they all had to get their measurements taken.

- As they waited for the doctor to come, Mei and Sora talked and played while Rintaro took his time looking around the room at all the different equipment and posters with fascinated eyes.

- It wasn't long a wait. However, as the doctor opened the door to enter, he accidentally (somehow) tripped and face planted the floor.

- *Que overly shocked and confused Mei face and sounds, and an unimpressed Sora*

- Rintaro was the only one who asked if the doctor was ok and if he needed help. This caused the doctor to inwardly blush in shame a bit.

- The doctor (if you couldn't tell by now) is Hojo Emu, as said by the patient nurse who sighed "Not again, Emu...."

- Sora took a quick liking to doctor Emu as he was really nice and tried to make the check up feel like a game. However, Emu was a bit shocked to say the least when he tried to bond with Sora over video games and Sora said that he likes reading more. (score one for Touma!)

- As the check up went on, Emu ended up having to juggle with doing his job as well as try to answer the many questions that Rintaro had. (i.e. Is that a stethoscope?! How clear are you able to hear a heartbeat with it? May I perhaps try it out myself? Do doctors really keep a jar of tongue depressors at their desk? That's amazing! you can also use a stethoscope to hear a person's breathing pattern? etc.)

- After the check up, Emu told Mei and Rintaro that Sora was in extraordinary health, especially for such a young child. (score one for the best Kamen Rider dad!)

- Since Emu had no more scheduled appointments for the next hour or two, he and nurse Asuna both ended up escorting the three to the book reading. They were also really curious as to who this 'Touma' person was that Sora and Mei talked excitedly about.

- The book reading was held in a wide open area outside in the courtyard, right next to a huge wall made of windows. Touma had brought a total of 10 picture books to read to his audience; which consisted of mainly hospitalized children, and Sora sitting in the front row.

- Emu and nurse Asuna were both, to say the least, really impressed with Touma's reading skills and interactions with the children. To them, it almost seemed as if Touma was truly taking them on a magic carpet ride or journeying through the decade a jungle.

- Emu mumbled something about looking up Touma's books one of these days, which Mei over heard of course, giving her the opportunity of handing him Touma's business card which had the bookstore's phone number and address printed on the back.

- Just as Touma is about to finish his last book, screams are heard coming from nearby and Mei's white book starts glowing. Nurse Asuna is the only one that notices the book however since Emu is already running towards the chaos, Rintaro and Touma hot on his heels. Nurse Asuna has so many questions, but Mei just awkwardly smiles and runs to Sora so they can help the children and other patients back inside.

- Once Emu gets to the source of the screams, he finds a huge, bug-like monster with a book on its chest attacking people with its long, blood-sucking spear. Emu gets confused at what he was looking at since the monster didn't look or seem like a bugster. Before he could observe further, Touma and Rintaro rushed past him, both putting on their drivers and shouting "Henshin!" before swinging out what seemed like swords and transforming.

- although super confused at these two new Riders, Emu decided to wait to ask questions and jumped into action himself by pulling out his gashats and gamedriver, wanting to transform into Kamen Rider Ex-aid level 2. However, upon further observation of the scene, he could see people kneeling/laying on the ground, groaning in agony and pain. He would have to rely on the strange Riders for the moment as Doctor Emu was needed, Genius Gamer M would have to wait.

- the two SOL Riders noticed the Doctor by now, with Rintaro gasping and trying to tell Emu to get away before he gets hurt. This attracted the megido's attention and it quickly brushed off the Rider's swords, jumped high into the air and aimed it's spear at the doctor who was now trying to help a poor old lady to stand up.

- Before it could hit the doctor though, a very large, heavy sword blocked it's path causing the megido to fall back, clutching it's spear-nose in pain. Emu looked at the huge sword in shock, before glancing at the wielder next to to. Which happened to be an untransformed man with a smirk on his face.

- "Ogami-san! Nice save!" Touma yelled with relief.

"Huh? OGAMI???" Emu said to himself, putting the pieces together "Eh??? Sora-kun's FATHER?!" Noticing that the man he saved was a doctor, due to Emu's white coat, Ogami-san understood what was going on and told Emu to keep doing what he was doing. "Don't worry, I've got your back!"

- While Emu depended on Ogami-san to protect him and the patients, the other Rider doctors had came to help. Kiriya was helping anyone that could still walk, Taiga and Nico were attending to those that couldn't, and Hiiro took the chance to look into and see if the bugster virus was related.

- The megido took account of the situation and, seeing as he could continue his job else where, started to fly away. But not before seeing a curious Sora staring right at him and deciding that "one more couldn't hurt." and dove down to the boy. But before it could pierce Sora's skin, a frantic Mei pushed him out of the way, getting pierced by the megido's spear in the process.

- I think ya'll can imagine the way Touma and, especially, Rintaro screamed Mei's name right at the moment. Gives me chills just thinking about it.

- The megido quickly flew away before the riders could reach them. But Rintaro quickly de-henshined and rushed to Mei's side, quickly, but as gently as possible, picking her up in his arms and checking to see if she was alright. On the outside she seemed fine, there wasn't even an open wound, but then an electric-like ripple coursed through her body and she gasped in pain. Hiiro was at their sides in an instant, using his Game Scope to assess the situation.

- Emu, who was checking to see if Sora was alright, quickly squatted next to Hiiro and furrowed his brows at the screen. there was a new type of Bugster running through Mei's body. In fact, everyone that was attacked by the megido had been infected.

- They took Mei back to the hospital (Rintaro carrying her with the excuse that it'd be faster for him to do it, when in fact he just didn't want anyone else to carry her.) and set her down in the Ex-aid HQ center (I know it's officially called something else, but I'm tired and have no time to look it up at the moment.)

- Now Emu's a bit overwhelmed 'cause there's a very sick Mei, 2 very worried riders asking questions, another rider who's also a bit worried but is also trying to calm his heart down after getting the scare of his life when Poppy suddenly costume changed next to him without warning, and everyone is just super confused about what the monster is. He literally has to yell "shut up!!!" for the room to quiet down enough so he can add "How about we just take turns asking questions, yeah?"

- and that's what they do, Emu starts by asking Touma and Rintaro what the monster is. So Rintaro quickly explains the SOL organization, swordsmen and the megido. Then Rintaro asks Emu what's happening to Mei and if she'll be ok. Emu, along with the other doctor Riders, started explaining Bugsters and the Game Disease. Emu explained that since they've been battling the virus for years now, and have advanced the treatment extraordinarily well that Emu is confident that they'll be able to heal Mei.

- Even though still worried, Rintaro and Touma visibly relax, the latter starting to think about the megido. He had a suspicion of what the megido could be and wanted to go back to the bookstore to check. Knowing it'd be a long drive back however, Ogami quickly pulled out his book-gate WRB and created a doorway that links the hospital to the Northern Base. Touma and Rintaro head through it without a second thought, shocking the doctor Riders.

- At the Northern Base, the duo find Daishinji who's been trying to track the megido for some time now. As they talk, Daishinji cuts off what he's saying halfway and adverts his eyes due to the doctor Riders suddenly appearing.

- Turns out that Parado had come back after playing games with some of the children in the hospital, saw the doctor Riders staring at a door that he'd never seen before. curious, he opened the door (despite Ogami yelling and Emu trying to stop him) which resulted in him and Emu getting sucked into the vortex-like path between the destinations. The other riders too as they either tried to save the duo or they got pulled in by others *cough!* Kiriya *cough!* trying to save themselves.

- The doctor Riders suddenly finding themselves to be in a library of sorts makes them shocked to say the least.

- By the time Ogami catches up, Rintaro is busy explaining that they're now at the North Pole while Touma has gone off back to his bookstore to look for a specific book.

- Emu had followed after Touma and was amazed by how homey and comfortable the bookstore felt and looked.

- As Emu looked around the bookstore (low-key spazzing about how cool the diorama was), Touma rummaged through a pile of books until he came across a book on insects. He skims through it and confirms that the bug-like megido is a mosquito, which is known to spread viruses like wildfire. Excited, the two go back and inform the others at the Northern Base of what they found.

- Everyone then spends the night doing what they can to help. Ogami found and dragged Ren out to help him look for the megido with Kiriya and Parado offering to help. Parado's involvement caused Nico to see this as a game, so she forced Taiga to help search as well. Hiiro went back to his other patients, checking in every now and then to see if the Bugster in Mei had grown.

- Touma and Rintaro also thought about searching, but then Emu and Poppy mentioned how the Bugster Virus reacts and grows via stress. What stresses Mei the most is 1. Touma not finishing his drafts on time and 2. not seeing her friends. So they decided to stay by her side with Rintaro watching over her, and Touma taking up the nearby desk so he can work on drafts for the next two+ months.

- Seeing Mei so pale and frail broke Rintaro's heart. She looked like a different person entirely, as if her warm smile had been stolen. Somewhat tired and worry clouding his mind, he started speaking his thoughts out loud, so loud that Touma could hear.

- "Why can't I do anything?" "What if we can't defeat the megido?" "What if we DO defeat the megido but can't defeat the virus?"

- Touma has to firmly tell Rintaro that they will save Mei, no matter what. He's so adamant about it that he ends up promising Rintaro that they'll both defeat both the Bugster and the megido.

- Emu, who was observing them from afar, takes note of their promise before heading up to the main office of the ward. There, a new face, Kento, is standing next to the window and gazing down at the trio.

- Alarmed, Emu asks who Kento is and how he got in. But Kento doesn't reply, and instead mentions how this wasn't supposed to happen, that this wasn't something he foresaw. He looks back at Emu before opening a black portal and disappearing through it.

- Sometime during the night, Hiiro checks in on Mei, and has a chat with Rintaro about her. He warns the swordsman about waiting and not taking action before leaving him to his thoughts.

- The next morning, Emu finds Touma and Rintaro both asleep. The latter hunched over the desk full of written drafts and the former upright in a chair with his hand clenching Mei's. Poppy, who had came in right behind him, loudly gasped in delight at the cute scene, causing the two Riders to wake up in alarm. Touma ended up falling from his chair while Rintaro awkwardly jumped with embarrassment after realizing he was holding Mei's hand, especially so tightly.

- Emu checks Mei's temperature and vitals. When she wakes up, he asks her how she feels which she groggily explains that she feels way better than when she was turned into the cat megido. Turns out that the boys staying with her and seeing that Touma got a lot of work done really did help in de-stressing her.

- Just then, they get a call from Ogami, informing them that the megido has been spotted. Quickly reassuring Mei that they'll defeat the Megido, the two left to aid Ogami.

-Them leaving however, caused Mei to grow worried and stressed. Resulting in the Bugster Virus inside of her to grow and finally form outside of her body. The form that the Bugster took, was of her Megido monster form, the cat megido. Which slashed at Emu and Poppy before fleeing from the hospital.

- Emu and the other doctor Riders chased after it, bumping into the SOL Riders on the way. This results in them fighting together AND having the SOL Riders react to seeing the doctor Riders transform for the first time.

- "eh?! you guys are Kamen Riders too?!" "What?! B-but! I thought that only SOL swordsmen can be called 'Kamen Riders'?! I have to ask Sophia-sama about this..." "Oi.... What's with the cartoon eyes...? and... is that HAIR?"

- They also run into more bugsters as well, so they break up into teams to fight them off. Touma and Emu vs the megido, Rintaro and Hiiro vs the cat megido bugster, Kiriya and Ogami vs. a megido bugster, and Taiga and Nico vs. another megido bugster and Ren and Parado vs Bugster mooks.

- After defeating them all, the one behind this mess reveals himself; Dan Kuroto with one of Zoous's Alter Ride Books. (possibly given to him by Storious)

-This leads to another huge battle between Kuroto (who fused with the alter ride book) and the Riders (plus Kento who'd been watching the whole thing), which ends with Kuroto being defeated and disappearing, and Mei with everyone else that caught the megido bugster virus to be fully cured.

- Mei reunites with Touma and Rintaro at the hospital, which Rintaro smiling to himself. (He now fully realizes his feelings for Mei and is planning on confessing soon.)

-Later on, Emu, Poppy and the other doctor Riders visit the Kamiyama bookstore, which results in an amusing event.

[maxwell-grant]

Batman: The Idiot Root Part 2

Following @mirrorfalls​ ‘s ask and Part 1, in which I continue my look at the Batman storyline called “The Idiot Root” 

I feel a strange disconnect reading this storyline, in the sense that this comic is definitely hitting on some really, really good ideas, ideas that could make for a really gripping and incredibly disturbing storyline, but is passing them by too quickly for any of the ideas to sink in, which I’m starting to realize is a problem I may have with Batman comics in general.

But I’m definitely welcoming what this story has to offer. Peter Milligan really knows how to bring out the disturbing in Batman, and when paired with Norm Beyfogle it’s a winning duo.

...Huh, I guess Zeno is indian? Definitely doesn’t look like one, I just thought he was a random white dude getting too much focus. “Zeno” is not a Brazilian name, and I guess the intent was for it to be exotic on purpose? He did say he was “born here” when they arrived in the jungle, but...bruh, no

“my people”

Moving on

God, this should be harrowing and dramatic, and I feel like if this was a prose narrative you could get such delightfully unsettling descriptions of Crosby destroying the children one by one as the great horror from another world feasts on their minds and then the heads tethering him to this world explode as said horror bursts forth and talks about "dipping his tongue into all that succulent consciousness”, and I’m already sounding like I’m about to write a pulp horror story just describing it, but

but he looks so STUPID

he is just a GUY

I’m not even opposed to great horrors looking silly or ridiculous, I’m firmly in the “Mxyzptlk doesn’t need to be anything more than just a little guy in doofy clothing, and any attempts to make him “scarier” than he already is are hokey as shit” camp, but The Idiot’s not even that silly, he’s just a white guy in a straight jacket and a doofy haircut.

Like at this point I think the whole “Idiot” gimmick stopped being cute and funny and now it’s just frustrating and feels like it’s getting in the way of what could easily be a really, really great Batman horror story.

Not that it isn’t a GOOD Batman horror story or even nearing a great one, mind you, because this is still Peter Milligan with Norm Beyfogle at work, and they sell the hell out of the idea. But, again, it’s a couple steps short of being potentially the Batman horror story for the ages it could have been.

I do definitely like the “Zombies are the gateways to the real world” and the idea of a cosmic horror story where the great monster only uses the zombies as means to travel and sustenance, and the zombies themselves are just helpless victims. It’s almost like a Cosmic Vampire kind of thing.

Frankly, I would have liked it more if it was The Queen of Hearts from earlier that transformed into a cosmic vampire needing to hijack minds to survive, then you could blow up her inner struggle from before to greater proportions, as Batman tries to both save her as well as Rio from being consumed by an unholy abomination ever growing in power and bloodlust.

In fact, I’m gonna save this idea for later.

I get that De Freitas here is supposed to be a fairly typical “unsympathetic authority figure who doesn’t like the superhero and is going to be proven wrong by the story’s end”, and I’m definitely not about to start defending a cop character, especially a Brazilian cop, but I get the feeling that his constant remarks that he doesn’t trust Americans and their arrogance, and doesn’t trust American vigilantes, don’t quite make him as unsympathetic as Milligan intended. I absolutely think he’s right to be wary of Batman and to want this American superhero to stay the fuck away from Rio’s streets, which are more than enough of a handful to deal with as is without vigilantes and superheroes.

Well, I sure know who this asshole voted for in the last election.

To the story’s credit, getting torn apart by a crippling fear of birds is absolutely the kind of rushed, horror-movie finale that’s befitting The Idiot’s nature. It also means that The Penguin could kick this guy’s ass if warned beforehand of his capabilties and I absolutely want to see that happen.

Okay, I get that this is also very much an appropriate ending for a horror story, the hero finds a brief return to normalcy that’s forever tainted by an encounter with horror beyond imagination, and definitely not what I expected from a Batman comic, but...

That’s it? Batman just, left them? Didn’t drag the victims and Zeno to a Wayne Enterprises hospital to look after them, didn’t try and find a cure for their condition, didn’t stay in Rio to try and see where else the Idiot might have winded up, nothing? Didn’t even try to completely eliminate said idiot root from existence? Just, took a plane back to Gotham and brooded about it?

...Look, I don’t want to make this a pissing contest, I genuinely detest and never want to do those, but I gotta point that, in the one storyline where The Shadow encountered an ancient, all-powerful evil puppeteering the mindless husks of children to telepathically prey on mankind, the very first thing he did after temporarily putting it down was learn where it came from and travel halfway across the world to take a flamethrower to it.

And frankly I don’t see why Batman would have any reservations about doing the same thing, to a being that’s killed at least 60 people by the story’s count. But, really, he just feels bad about himself for a bit and leaves Rio (and Brazil by extension) to deal on their own with the potential return of a godlike murderous monster created by American machinations and perversions.

...Again, definitely wasn’t expecting that level of authenticity from a Batman story set in Brazil.

I guess overall I’d say I liked reading The Idiot Root, but it’s also one of those things that I keep having mixed feelings about due to the story not living up to it’s incredible potential. In regards to it’s depiction of Brazil, it’s definitely a lot better than I was expecting, considering the writer’s British and this is a Batman comic after all. I can definitely say there was some effort here (really undercut by the baffling decision to draw a supposed indian character as a white man but, hey, can’t win everything).

I can definitely say I’ll be mining some ideas out of this story for my own writings, thank you very much for introducing me to it. It’s quite fascinating, and if nothing else, if I ever get a job writing Batman, I’m definitely going to bring Mister Slim (under a more fitting name like Zé Magrão) back, definitely the most pleasing surprise from the book.

[brandyllyn]

War makes thieves, and peace hangs them (pt9)

Told from POV of Triple Frontier characters and while it’s an OFC she is never described. Her “name” is a radio handle.

Chapter 9: Frankie and Wildcat have a heart to heart on a recon.

(Frankie Morales)

Other chapters... My Masterlist

Word count: 1500. Read it on AO3.

Rating: R (mature) language. talking about sex

Frankie listens to the casual bickering between Ben and Wildcat with half an ear, staring out at the lush greenery sweeping past the windows as they drive. His face hurt, and he can see in his reflection that the shiner from yesterday had deepened into a brilliant purple. He touches the skin gingerly, cursing quietly to himself at the tenderness of the area.

When they finally reach their entry point Frankie is grateful to be out of the car. Getting out and stretching his legs, his hands up to the sky. He grabs his vest from the back seat and buckles it on as he listens to Santi go over the plan for at least the fourth time that day.

"Benny you’ll check out the gate. Ironhead, you’re on perimeter. Frankie and Wildcat you’re scoping the ingress point. Comms up you guys."

"Yes sir," Frankie mumbles sarcastically.

"Yes sir," he sees Wildcat whisper into Santi’s ear, sees a moment pass over the other man’s face. Sees him swallow.

Huh. Interesting. Not surprising, but interesting.

Frankie waits for Wildcat to catch up and then pushes his way into the jungle, crouching low to avoid disturbing as much as possible.

"So, you gonna tell me what happened to your face?" she asks the question as soon as they are out of earshot of the others and Frankie groans.

"Wasn’t planning on it."

"Oh come on," she cajoles. "I thought we had a connection, you and I."

He stops and raises an eyebrow at her, "Really?"

She grins in return. "I mean, I have worn your hat."

"Fuck this hat," he mumbles, forcing his way through the undergrowth. "Nothing but fucking trouble."

"Oh," she skips up next to him, eyes bright, "you have to tell me now."

He remains tight-lipped but she continues to shoot little comments his way until they reach the top of an embankment near the back of the property. They both drop to their stomachs at the same moment, looking over the edge at the yard below. He listens for a break in the radio chatter and then calls it in. Waits for Santi’s acknowledgement.

"Ok, so you said yesterday someone wanted to fight you and popped you in the eye. So what was it? Did he not like your parking job?"

"Fuck off," Frankie mutters, eyeing the fence line as they quietly slide down the embankment and into the stream bed.

"Did he ask you on a date and you said no?"

"What," he turns on her, grabbing her arm to keep her from slipping past.

She grins, "You’re cute, Frankie. No shame in that."

"No," he bites off and lets her go.

"You are cute," she whispers as she moves past him. "Teresa and I both think so." He must have growled something because she turns back to him. "What was that?"

"Nothing."

"No, that was something. Did something happen with…"

Frankie grabs her wrist, jerking her into a patch of ferns under the fence. "She has a fucking husband is what happened."

"Oh shit," Wildcat gasps. "Oh fuck man, I didn’t know."

"Yeah, well, he did. And he wasn’t happy about it."

"Oh fuck," she sighs, patting his arm. "Sorry I gave you a hard time. She wasn’t a good fit for you, but that still sucks."

Wildcat moves out of the bushes and Frankie follows her down the stream silently, keeping an eye out for ground sensors. Wildcat occasionally pauses and pokes around in the ferns before moving on. After five minutes of silence Frankie finally gives in. "What do you mean she wasn’t a good fit for me?"

"Oh, just that she wasn’t, uh, bossy enough."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Frankie," she turns back to him, eyebrow raised. "You’re what, forty years old, you have to know by now that…" she trails off when she sees his expression and then shrugs. "Never mind. Maybe I’m wrong."

"What the fuck are you going on about," he growls as she moves away from him, poking into the bushes again.

"Just that you like taking orders."

"I’m a fucking Ranger, of course I know how to take orders."

"Yeah, but you like taking orders. It’s different." She jerks at a leaf and then tucks it into the fern next to her. "Have you ever had anyone tie you up? I think you’d like it."

"What the hell? No."

"Ever had some girl pretend to be your drill sergeant?"

Frankie feels a rush of heat down his spine but he bites his next words off anyway. "No. I haven’t. I’m not interested in that shit."

She pauses what she’s doing and spins towards him from her crouched position. "Frankie. If nothing else comes of our time together. If this whole thing ends up being an absolute bust, I want you to take one thing away from this." She reaches out a hand and solemnly lays it on his shoulder, "You would love letting someone else take control of you in the bedroom. Trust me on this."

He gapes at her and she turns back to the underbrush and pushes aside the greenery to show a drainage pipe. "Found it."

Frankie looks at it then at her. "That can’t be more than two feet wide."

"Men," she mutters, reaching down to her radio. "Always over-estimating things. Pope Pope, Wildcat."

-Wildcat go for Pope.-

She leans her head into the pipe and Frankie can hear a slight echo. -I’m at the drainage tunnel and it’s, uh, it’s gonna be a tight fit.-

-How tight?-

Wildcat sighs, sitting back on her haunches and tilting her head at the pipe. -Really fucking tight.- "Here hold this," she says to him and the next thing he knows he’s got her flak jacket and she’s tucking the radio into the top of her shirt.

-Can you make it?- Frankie watches in fascination as she moves into the pipe. Her ass is in the air for a moment and there’s no harm in noting the tight curve of it is there? He watches it flex, can see how slow her movements are as she gets herself into the pipe.  -Wildcat, Pope. I said can you make it?-

-Standby Pope.- Frankie calls back, seeing her feet disappear. -She’s gone in.-

-What do you mean she’s fucking gone in?-

Frankie grins at Pope’s incredulous tone, squatting down to see her progress. She’s a lot further along than he expected. He’s not sure he’d be able to touch her foot without crawling in himself and he there was no fucking way he was going to do that. -I mean she’s shimmied her ass into the drain pipe and I’m pretty sure she can’t move her arms to get on comms.-

-Lies.- Wildcat’s voice comes through in his ear. -I can, uh, fuck, mmph, yeah this is gonna be tight. Doable, but fuck this is tight.-

-Sounds familiar.-

Frankie freezes. Silence, then Ben’s voice in his ear. -Did I just fucking hear that right? Did Pope just make a joke during an op?-

So he hadn’t imagined it. He can hear Wildcat’s laugh as her boots reappear and she slowly slides back out of the pipe.

-Don’t get used to it.- Pope’s voice in his headset.

Wildcat runs a hand down her front, grimacing at the slime that comes off, and then reaches out for her flak jacket. "What the fuck did you do to Pope?"

"What do you mean?" She asks as she buckles the vest back on.

"That, that little…" he trails off. "Pope doesn’t do that shit during a mission."

She shrugs and motions with her chin. "I dunno, but I think it’s time we got out of here."

Frankie follows her, waiting until they’re well into the jungle before commenting, "That must be some grade A pussy you’re packing."

She laughs, "I’ve got moves. As you well know."

He grunts and follows beside her. If she could have that effect on Santi… maybe she was right about him.

"So, how does a guy find a… you know… what are they called? A dominatrix."

She laughs so hard she has to stop, bending over and clutching her middle. "Frankie oh my god. Do not go looking for a dom back stateside. Please promise me that won’t be the first thing you do."

"I thought you said," he starts but she cuts him off with a smile and a pat on his cheek.

"You need a girl who will boss you around a little. Give you orders. Tell you exactly what she wants and wants you to do. Removes any decision-making ability from you." She gives him a fond look and then continues back through the jungle. "The word you’re looking for is 'top' not dominatrix."

Frankie mulls her words over as they make their way back. Someone telling him what to do. What they want. Someone to take control of him…

He has to admit, it does sound like a hell of a lot of fun.

Pt10

[sepublic]

Musical Car!

           What’s interesting is that the musical has a sign advertising Jesse’s name; Did he stop by the Musical Car at some point and inspire the denizens there with a speech about empathy, and how differences are okay? We know that had to have taken place prior to him, Lake, and Alan Dracula entering the Carnival Car, meeting The Cat, etc. Either way, I’m not at all surprised that someone as open and friendly as him would say such things, especially with an unconventional friend like Lake; And obviously he stuck by his words in the end, didn’t he?

           Lemme tell you though… I was legit disturbed by that raid, as well as seeing those poor denizens get legitimately hurt and injured for no reason at all, and that ONE decapitated dude almost getting wheeled, only to be converted into Simon’s thing; Like, screw you Apex. That’s what makes Simon and Grace interesting; I’ve always imagined the concept of more problematic protagonists for this series, so it’s not much of a surprise to see Book 3 dive into this! Given how much more, well… WORSE Simon and Grace are, pehaps it’s not all-too surprise that their arc was confined to HBO Max, given the even more mature tone set by them and their actions!

           Honestly, those two rapidly switch and range from terrible, nasty jerks I want to punch, to misfits with banter and chemistry, and plenty of comradery; Especially for people they DO care about! It really drives the point home that not every bad person is PURE evil, like they don’t spend every waking moment plotting how terrible they can be, and most don’t even consider themselves as bad! It’s disconcerting, but a good look into their mindset; With Grace genuinely trying to be nice and caring to the kids and not hurting their feelings, but also repeating Amelia’s lies about the train denizens being there for the passengers’ benefit, and… More on that later.

           Also- Glad to see Grace make fun of Simon’s fashion sense and acknowledge it, but at the same time… Either he was ten when he began to wear socks with sandals, AND/OR he was ten when he first met Grace; Presumably on the Infinity Train, although the idea of two individuals knowing one another PRIOR to boarding it is also fascinating! Especially given how Book 2 discussed the idea of fate and pre-determination in one’s paths and all…

           It’s interesting to see that not all Apex kids are against the denizens, like some DO want to make friends with them (albeit in a very invasive manner), but Grace and Simon just shut them down. I have to wonder if they themselves also had a similar moment with Amelia, only to be brutally shut down; And Amelia is objectively worse than those two considering how much higher her number is, and how SHE was the one who started this dumb ideology in the first place (instead of just being taught it at a vulnerable moment in her life like everybody else)!

           What’s worth noting is that Simon has a device that can detect the presence of other passengers, which is both VERY cool and VERY useful; I have to wonder if it’ll detect Hazel in the Jungle Car however. Given the speculation of her being a train denizen, it’d serve as neat, subtle foreshadowing as to her true nature, and I can see the show touching upon this! Also, the aesthetics of that device reminds me of what The Cat would own; Given how she’ll make a return this Book and has had a run-in with at least Grace in the past, I can easily see it being something she’d own. She IS a collector of useful things, after all… And I have to wonder if maybe The Cat was even a companion of Simon or Grace; Or maybe even Amelia! Perhaps the Passenger-Detector was a ‘gift’ from Amelia…

           (I mean, they HAVE to bring her back in Book 3, given how her ideology and actions are a direct consequence of everything that happens, and would fit nicely into her eventual redemption arc. Not to mention it’d give a fascinating insight as to what was going on in her mind when she indoctrinated the Apex.)

           Neat detail seeing the Unfinished Car with those corgi diplomats, and nice joke with that one turtle talking to what’s later revealed to be a phone with a line that’s already cut anyway! Grace breaking her Harpoon Pack makes sense; She wasn’t seen with one in the trailer and posters, and I guess it’d help ‘balance’ things if only one protagonist had a Harpoon Pack; So they can’t just skip over cars on their way back!

           Speaking of a way back; We have a set number of cars leading back to the Mall Car, so in other words we have a way of keeping track of the journey’s progress! It IS worth noting that the cars could always rearrange… It’s interesting to learn that cars apparently don’t move when passengers are inside; I always assumed that sometimes they might’ve and a passenger wouldn’t notice because all the cars look identical from the outside, and also being inside a pocket-dimension kind of skews around with the sensation of what’s going on outside. It’s possible that Simon and Grace actually felt the movement because of the Unfinished Car’s unusual nature…

           Regardless, after that disturbing opening scene it makes sense that One-One is stepping in! Given how he values the passengers more than the denizens (as seen with his second and final interaction with Lake), it makes me wonder how much he actually CARES; Or if he can’t afford to have people ‘breaking equipment’, and/or is mostly doing this to lean the Apex towards becoming better people by confronting them over their actions! At this point, they may end up pushing One-One too much and he’ll have to send in his Steward…

           Getting onto some existential crisis, the cruel thing about Simon and Grace saying that the denizens are made for them is… They’re actually kind of right? NOT that this justifies at all their wanton, senseless cruelty towards the train denizens… But it ties back to Lake’s existential crisis in Book 2, the realization and likelihood that she (and maybe even the Mirror World) was made purely for the character development of people like Tulip and Jesse! One-One himself outright says in the Book 2 Finale that, YEAH; Train Denizens are supposed to stay on the train because their entire purpose, their entire means of creation was just to fulfill what the passengers need!

           …Obviously, using them for raids ISN’T what One-One (and/or whoever made the Infinity Train/the Infinity Train itself) intended… But the disturbing realization still stands that the denizens’ purpose and creation in life is for the betterment of passengers, to accompany them, aid them… In the past, I’ve speculated how some Cars and their inhabitants don’t seem to have much of a personality beyond being a basic caricature to fulfill the ‘theme’ of a car, as well as aiding in passengers’ journeys! And obviously they’re all PEOPLE, but again this ties back into just how real the pasts and worlds of denizens were, as discussed by Mace; The idea that entire histories and cultures have been fabricated, and pre-programmed into the memories of denizens.

           Needless to say, it’s very disturbing… And if Simon and Grace ever change their stance on denizens and even start vouching for them, it’d be a brilliant reversal of their beginning attitudes to have them call out One-One for making sapient people for the sole purpose of serving others; Which could be a dilemma for him given how HE may have been made for the purpose of others! Given how Amelia taught the Apex her ideals, and she was Conductor for a time and thus had rather intimate knowledge of the Infinity Train… perhaps what she says about the denizens being just ‘toys’, made for the passengers, isn’t too far a stretch from the truth; Obviously a dark, twisted, and selfish distortion. But it’s emblematic, reflecting a deeper, underlying issue that could lie with the Infinity Train itself.

           (Especially since Owen Dennis said that One-One and the Infinity Train can be wrong…)

           Given how Amelia made cars with denizens that only ‘turned on’ once a car was considered ‘complete’ (or close to it), it suggests that she knows all about the artificial, pre-programmed nature of denizens because she’s made a few ones; Which when coupled with how she probably tried to make a Fake Alrick, and ultimately realized that a replica would never be the same… Eerily, it lends to the idea that part of what made Amelia realize this at the end of Book 1, was her mindset that denizens are just follow, fake copies of pre-existing things and aren’t even real to begin with.

           THAT is a cruel twist; That the very ideas that founded the Apex and caused our issues in Book 3, were low-key what helped Amelia wake up from her fantasy and realize that she needed to confront her issues! Given how high her number is, it only makes sense that while she’s making progress, she STILL has some more fundamental problems to tackle; Specifically the idea that while denizens aren’t the same or ‘real’ as the original, they’re still people and whatnot!

           All in all, a VERY fascinating watch! Just eleven minutes, but I’m hooked in; Sure this does tie a lot back to previously-established concepts, but what story-driven show doesn’t? It really recontextualizes and makes you think back about what WAS discussed already and how it changes with the more we learn and explore!

[yume-tsuki]

Recuerdos Mundo  part 1-4 of 10 part1 Recuerdos Mundo part 2 The salt lake part 3 The voice  part 4 The long lost... new part 4 The long lost... Day??.??.????? I thought I would never ever meet another soul again in this death world. Since the day I arrived here day after day past and it wasn’t important where I was or when. There was no one to be found till this day. Who ever made me come here to this place where I always have to cry and I wished to leave when  I just think about  visiting. Here I found this three. When I showed myself first they were surprised but not for long. They brought me to their place made a fire and told me who they are. I never thought that Ichi or Ruki would ever have a child. I was so surprised that it caused me to tears. Of course they asked who I was and so I told them a little I could remember. I remembered that I  was always on Kenpachi Zaraki’s side and I remembered that I was the 11th Division Lieutenant. I remember a fight against an opponent who was even hard von Ken-chan but I barely remember the persons face even how I ended up here. I just remember the strong feelings I had that day. To protect the person I deeply loved to be with.   Then one day I woke up, covered in injuries, it was somewhere in this world. Somehow I healed, later I know that it was this air filled up with spiritual energy.  I started wandering around, finding ruins and this soul-hollow spirits. Days became months and years and on one point I ended up to believe to see one human being ones more.  I even lost the interest in the secrets of this world covered in ruins. The only thing what I knew was that my world, the world of the living and Hueco Mundo collapsed in the past for some reason. At least it was a calm time, there was no war, no fight anymore, just souls without a soul… The children were surprised and couldn’t believe that I lived here alone for so long. Then of course I asked the one question. Do you know a way back home? Sadly they didn’t but they remembered that Kasui used a black hole to came here in the first place.  I asked him if he could do it again. He said he tried but he didn’t know how to activate it, then he stopped for a moment. It was like someone talked to him and then he told that he maybe know how to return. For a single moment I was scared to hell, there was a feeling I hadn’t in years, like a long lost memory but then he opened a black hole and everything I had in mind was vanished. There was only one desire: Maybe I can go home now finally. -??????? Then Ichika asked me something they totally forgot  to ask. What’s your name? I looked at her face, puzzled from that question. My name?... what was my name? I can’t remember… They then told me something, something about Ken-chan who she likes to visit from time to time. He isn’t  very talkative but one day he told her a name Yachiru… Yachiru? Was this my name? It sounds so unfamiliar familiar…. But the tears that run over my cheeks told me it was true. How could I even forgot who I was? When did it start that I even lost my name? What a cruel peaceful world this could be. part 1-3 under the cut

Recuerdos Mundo Day ??.??.???? So much days had past since we arrived in this ‘other world’. We thought about a name and after realising what it was and a lot of talks we decidet to call it Recuerdos Mundo, the world of Memories. A world full of Reiryoku, it’s mostly made of it. We still don’t know why but, the ground, the trees even the air is filled up with it. The Hollow like creatures consume it, sadly we can’t use our powers becouse they would  swollow it right away. Ichika got the idea to collect the light of Reiryoku who floats through the sky. She noticed that they stuck often on branches of this death looking stone like trees , even we can consume them in this place and this is a nice way to eat or trick the creatures. First when she tried her Zanbakuto this giant bird, together with other creatures appeared. But instead of the others who wanted to eat us it protected us and now travels with us. It’s still fascinating that we can see our world through the camera of our mobile phones. It was such a surprise what Kazui made when we tried to call for help. Sadly we still havn’t found a clue to contact one of our parents. They must be full of sorrows about us, when they can’t even feel we are on earth… But the most fascinating thing and the true reason we called it Recuerdos Mundo was when we found buildings with things in it. When we send out some little energy pictues of the past appeared and showed us who this thing belonged to and themselfs story…Maybe we can find a way out of this world when we find the right item! Now it’s time to end for today, we rest at a old hotel, next day we saw  a white shimmering reflection on the horizont, well this our next goal. jornal end -Hiyoshin Hirako ______________________________________________________ Recuerdos Mundo part2 The Salt lake Day Whensoever it was a day without rain.. After a full day walk we arrived on the edge of an Salt lake, behind it we could see trees and hoping to find more informations about this world. But for today we rested on the edge, Hiyoshin build himself a flute made of an antler he found. Somehow it was gross but his music is great. It always calms me down when I’m listening to him. Also our spirit hollow bird seems to enjoy his music. We noticed that the Spirit Hollows mostly change into an easy ball form . Only to fight they change into a form who needs more energy. The best part is still that we don’t need food in this world! We just catch this flying energy orbs and swallow them. So more time to listen to the music. But we weren’t the only one making music on the salt lake at all! There was this strange surring noise like when you stamp on this special white beach sand of this Japanese city we went with our parents ones. It sounded like music and something in me wanted to find out who is making this music! Kazui and Hiyo where pretty worried and said I shouldn’t go…. Scaredy cats! Now I woke birdy up and we flew through the night sky. The night is so clear on this place, so much stars we never saw back in the city. There wasn’t a single soul out there till we saw a long track and followed it.  The sound came nearer and we saw a long red string. Birdy hated it but we landed, he hissed the whole way to the head of that giant snake, what it was. When it turns it’s purple head I saw this crazy eyes and wondered if fathers Zabimaru would have had such strange eyes if it wasn’t a bone snake. Somehow she was so calm and there wasn’t  a single moment I was afraid she would eat me. Then we finally traveled back on the head of the snake, oh man you should have seen this boys worried faces. They argue the whole snaky ride to the jungle with me about disappearing in the middle of the night in a strange world where whatever could have happened. I just laughed, not even my parents try to lecture me only uncle B. tries it sometimes but gave up on me. Both stubborn souls created an even more stubborn soul.  He says and turns away most of the time. Now then that’s enough jornal for now see you -Abbarai Ichika ____________________________________________ Day 33 I guess We crossed the desert and thought we arrived at a jungle  but it wasn’t just a jungle and it wasn’t just on a giant turtle like thing. We were standing o a rock when Ichika noticed a building on it’s back  nnd for the first time we saw that it wasn’t just the human world who collapsed , infront of us where the whole Seireitei on the back of that damn turtle! We decided to jump on it and searching through it. The most parts were destroyed  and everywhere trees , flowers and spirits.  Soon I lost track of the others, they were so quick and there was something else what came to my mind. A voice calling for me… yes, it sounds strange but it was for me not  for Ichika, not for Hiyoshin. Just me! I followed it till I arrived at a place I havn’t seen before. Maybe because the time I was at the soul society with dad wasn’t that often and only at aunty Rukia’s place. Dark walls changed into white or what was white one day. “It looks like a research lab!” I heared the voice of Hiyo . What scared me to death. Somehow it made me damn angry that they found me this fast. At last we entered a room, I was still hearing that voice >Come to me!  I waited for you so long my young friend!< Yes, I know it could be dangerous but I was so curious…   Then we saw it a bright flower floated in the sky, on it’s roots was a strange seat surrounded by light.   >Finally you are here!<  the voice came from that blooming thing but Hiyoshin and Ichika weren’t hearing it. “I wonder what this is?” Hyio was curious too but his attention soon was on the rest of the room. Screens on the walls and a lot of buttons at a panel.  Ichika’s attention was the less,  I wonder what she was thinking right now? She just looks around and seems like she already wanted to leave this place. Suddenly one of the screens start to work, but it wasn’t much to see just to listen… >>…What happened….<<…>>…what is that?….<<>>..the other world?…no wait it’s H……<< …>>they collapsing..<<…>Help!!<< ..Only a few pictures were to see, first the Seireitei , then in the sky a city suddenly white snow or sand. We were scared,yes, it still could happen, it could happen right now. “We have to find a way back, telling father and the others of this. Maybe we can stop it before it happens.” Hiyoshin said. “Maybe you two find something else in the other rooms!” I said, I wanted them to go so badly. Why?…. I wondered why does I wanted to be alone with this voice so desperately? … Then I was alone. >>Kazui I waited for so long<< “How can you know my name?” >> I know you since  the  moment I looked at your fathers eyes.<< “You know my father? Are you a Shinigami?” >> No<< “Who are you then?” >>Sadly I forgot my name << “I see. But you know mine. Why?” >>I’m here to give you something<< “Really?” >>Yes!<< >>Do you want it?<< “Y-yes.” I was so excited that I totally forgot that this situation could be dangerous… man I was only 12 how should I ever had known what could have happen? >>Then eat me!<< Does I was hypnoticed? Maybe… does I wanted to gain power? Maybe…  I only I knew I did it… When the flower was gone  I was still feeling normal but the others wondered where I went and came back. Of course they wondered where the flower went but I said I touched it and it became dust….they believed me and  told me about the stuff they found… -Kurosaki Kazui _________________________________________

[dystopian-penguin]

Is this a real life story? Is this a fic concept? Who knows 🤷

But here’s a very long account of... something.

This isn't a gay disaster story. It's a gay sad ending story. It's a gay "self-homophobia is very real and realistic” story, and not in the "gay panic is kinda cute" way.

It all started 14 years ago (yes that long), when I was still deeply in the HP fandom and even more deep into reading James/Lilly fics in ff.net all day long. For the first time in my entire life I decided to sort by “all works” and not just “completed”. I know it might sound super silly, and even a bit cliche considering this is tumblr and we live and breath fics, but that single decision literally changed the course of my life. And unlike what I usually do, I am not exaggerating. I found this one fic that must have had, like, 20 chapters and almost 100k words and dived into it without looking for rocks in the bottom. Long story short: the last posted chapter ended on a huuuuuge cliffhanger, like the very next moment after the kiss, and it left me completely destroyed.

So I did what I always do, what I am known on tumblr and my small social circle in here to do: I went to scream at the author.

But I wasn’t content to just scream in the comment section, oh no. For all I knew the bitch wouldn’t even see it, the last update had been from like 8 months previously. So I stalked her ff.net profile and found her MSN email. Yes, the story is THAT old.

My literal first words to her must have been something akin to “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH”, which yay for the beautiful poetic irony that the universe crafts at times. She took it in stride because, let’s face it, a shitton of people had already greeted her like that by then. And we started talking, and it was easy and fun. We had a lot in common, more or less the same type of interests, the usual you’d expect if I had met her on tumblr even. We must have talked like 3 hours straight on that first day, and I left feeling pretty good cause I had made a new friend. Not only that, but right off the bat I admired her so much. Not only because she was talented as fuck (imagine writing a 100k unfinished fic at only 15 y/o), but also because the more I talked to her the more I could see just how fucking cultured she was and how intelligent and ect. She came from a wealthy family and such a different reality from me. She had been abroad, in fact she usually travelled abroad with her family like twice a year, she was fluent in english even then (at that point I was I intermediate at best), not to mention german because her family was german. She was 15 (a year older than me back then) and trilingual and could write wonderfully and I was fascinated by her instantly.

Something else worth of note was that her profile pic on the day we met had been set to a close-up of a blue eye. I must have asked on that very same day whose eye was that because damn if it hasn’t been the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen. I mean, I hadn’t told her that, but I was curious enough to ask. And as everyone and their grandmother might have guessed by now, it was hers.

Somehow (and I truly don’t know HOW), we got into the habit of talking every day, or at least very close to it. I got to know about her daily life, just one state south from where I live and sooooo much colder than what I had ever experienced. She went to a swiss school, fully bilingual, was the first in her year in the IB program which for the love of crap I didn’t even know it existed back then. Might not ever have known if I never met her. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers, and back then SMS messages were like 1,50 bucks for inter-state ones. Our mothers were not happy.

Around a year and a half went by this way. She became my best friend, my rock. We both had a shitton of problems in your high school lives and in our family lives, and we were so relieved to know there was someone out there we could share those with. In the meantime she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, ironically just a few months before I had my very first kiss. When she broke up with her boyfriend she was absolutely devastated (they had been together almost a year or so), and relied on me a lot back then. Which I was more than happy to support because for the first time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt like I was actually part of someone’s life. I didn’t feel like I ever bothered her, like I was ever intruding in her life. I felt like I was truly part of her world, like she actually remembered my existence when I was not around, and at now-16 years of age that had literally been the first time I had felt that. I never had a true friend before her. Not sure I ever did after her either.

On easter 2008 we finally convinced our moms to let us meet. Her family had a whole goddamn country house with a huge plot of land, so it was decided I was gonna visit her first. So I got semi-sedated and got into my first plane ride EVER, and for those of you that are reading this and know me (although I doubt anyone is reading at all), you know how terrified of planes I am. You know how BIG of a gesture it is for me to get into a fucking plane for the first time in my life for a person.

I already knew she was pretty. I mean, we had talked on the webcam a couple of times before (just a few times because the internet back then was really terrible). The blue eyes I mentioned, and the most fucking beautiful silky blonde hair you’ve ever seen. But when I saw her the first time on that airport it still took my breath away. Even more, what truly surprised me, was the huge smile she gave as soon as she saw me out of the gate and she rushed to hug me. I was paralyzed. I mean yes I was happy and hugged her back, which was a huge deal because back then I was not touchy feely at all (and she was VERY). But I was paralyzed. Because I had never in my entire 16 years of age seen anyone smile that big or that brightly at seeing me. Hell, I suppose I had never seen anyone smile that brightly at all. As the day progressed she was so legit happy that I was there, and I could never fully wrap my head around it. We drove to her house and her mom took the long way just so they could show me all the interesting spots in her city, and she shared tidbits of her daily life that I still didn’t know, despite us being so close, because those are the things you only learn by actually being next to the person irl. Later on she introduced me to her two best friends in school, and we all decided to watch a horror movie.

Yes, it’s THAT cliche.

Now, you see, I’m absolutely fucking impervious to horror movies. Yes I get jumpscared just as much as anyone else, but I don’t get scared. So I was sitting there a bit lowkey bored, narrating the entire plot of the movie and what would happen a few scenes before it did because the movie was just that easy to guess. And she had taken complete ownership of my left arm the entire time, being half super scared and half impressed I could guess every single thing on the plot. Later on she apologized for not letting go of my arm because she knew I wasn’t as touchy feely as she was, and I was once again taken aback because I come from a ridiculously touchy-feely country and NO ONE ever apologizes for it or respects my boundaries on it.

The next day we wake up bright and early to go to her ranch-thingy. She slept on top of me on the car almost all the way there. I must have woken up like a whole hour before her but didn’t move at all.

I’m a city slick. I’m a huge city slick, through and through. Which means I am both fascinated and absolutely terrified on any plot of grass bigger than a garden. And her country house was fucking amazing. I had only experienced the true freedom of being in nature a few times in my life, and she made sure to show me every nook and crane of the forest surrounding it. Because yes it was a forest and not a jungle like where I lived, and that made it all the more magical.

But the truly one magical thing in the entire 4-days weekend was the stars. You see, I am absolutely in love with the stars. It’s stupid to say something like this when I was retelling the greatest love story of my life, but the stars are my one true love. I got my first telescope when I was five years old. My mother cannot for the life of her explain where I got this obsession from. She always said I was already born that way. So I find myself for the first time in my life with the least amount of light pollution I’ve ever been subject to in my entire life (even nowadays). For the first time in my life I has actually been able to see the Milky Way with my own two eyes. And what made everything even more impressive was that it was a full moon, and the night sky still looked as incredible as it’s supposed to look. Honestly it might have been a great contender to the beauty of her blue eyes.

The moment I remember the most is us laying down on some beach towels (no idea why they had those in the countryside), stargazing for hours at end. By then we were two full states to the south of mine, so I believe the technical definition of what I was feeling is fucking freezing my inexistent balls off. I had gotten dressed in just some jeans and a tshirt way before the sun set, and I was dammed if I was gonna interrupt our stargazing to go put on some decent clothes. I remember her asking a few times if I was cold, and I also remember myself lying through my teeth saying I had gotten used to it by then. Blatant lies, my nipples could cut through fucking glass at the moment. But I wasn’t gonna interrupt it because it was just the two of us on a grassy clearing, her family was at least 200m away and we couldn't even hear them anymore and it was just us and the stars and her hands were so close to mine that I could feel the heat (the only source of it for my beach-town ass I suppose). It was the perfect fucking moment. The moment most people dream of having their entire lives. I have no idea how long we stayed there, but it was a few hours for sure. Her mom had to call us back inside, and nothing broke my heart more. We talked about anything and everything. I told her what I knew of astronomy and I could see for the first time I was fascinating her with knowledge. Because I had always felt and will always feel like a peasant in the presence of a princess when it comes to her. With how cultured and educated and just fucking smart she always had been. But as I told her of the constellations (sometimes grabbing her hand to point to the stars and make her spot them better), and proclaimed my love for the night sky, she listened. She listened and I had never felt heard before in my life. She listened and I felt I had managed to make her fall in love with the stars a little bit by just talking about them.

She listened and I felt I had managed to make myself fall in love in her a little bit by just seeing the way she looked at me as I talked.

All good things come to an end and time had come for me to go back home. I will never forget how she hugged me goodbye on that same airport. Where I had seen the brightest smile on my life and now I could see she was holding back tears for me. Because I was leaving. I was important enough in someone’s life that they were about to cry because I wasn’t going to be around anymore. She way she whispered “I’m gonna miss you so much” on my ear, on such a low note I am sure it was just so her mother wouldn’t hear her, and her voice will haunt me for the rest of my life. She told me a few days later that she did cry on her way to school that morning.

After this it was near impossible to not be with her at all times. We texted constantly, and used to talk like 2 whole hours on the phone before bed. Once again I must remind you this was 2008 so it was no cheap business. Her mother started to try to separate us a bit, insisting she didn’t contact me as much, even tho I was sure the one who could not afford those phone bills, not her. It all culminated on what was ironically (or perhaps planned by her mother?) brazilian Valentine’s day (we are the only country in the world that celebrates in on St. Anthony’s day, which is June 12th). It was the first day in almost two years we didn’t talk at all, because of how much her mother had nagged her about it. The next day we talked as if we had been separated by a war for a decade.

I’m gonna take a break here to let everyone know that no, I did not think I was in love with her back then. I don’t think she knew either, but it’s hard to tell.

Her mother planned her entire july winter break to the minute just so she could spend the least amount of time in my house as possible. We got 5 days instead of the previous 4. But her mother came up with a ridiculous amount of trips for the family. She visit 3 different countries (and a whole different state inside her own country) within 30 fucking days. That’s how bad it had gotten then. Our SMSs had to be cut down to just two or three a day because of it.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because when she arrived at my house (her family had insisted in meeting mine before letting her stay) I was able to see from three floors up how brightly she had smiled at seeing me again.

I’ll make this part short: we stayed cooped inside blankets the entire time, playing on my PS2. It was so ridiculous that my mom, maaaany years later, told me she usually left the house for hours at time just to give us an opportunity of finally doing something about our very obvious feelings. Unlike the trip we took to her ranch, this one was filled with 3am deep existencial talks. And unlike the other trip, we spent the whole time sleeping on the same bed. Not a whole lot happened other than us dancing around the obvious feelings and how to deal with being so close to each other.

Nothing beside the very last morning together. I remember always waking up after her, because that’s just how we were. I remember she was already up, reading this book in fucking german of all things. It had been the first day of the entire week we had a meager ray of sunshine. And the way my window and ourselves were positioned, the sun was shinning directly on her. I woke up to the vision of an angel. I had never seen hair in such a warm bright color. I had never seen eyes that were the living embodiment of a spring afternoon sky. I woke up and her propped up on a couple of pillows, reading under the weak morning sun was the first thing I saw. It was the first thing I saw and I could swear I was still dreaming.

Because for the first time in all this, I could not contain and muffle the voice inside my head that was screaming: I want to wake up next to this every single day for the rest of my life.

It was the last time I woke up next to her for the rest of my life.

To my credit I did shake off my daze from the sight quite fast. I had gotten so good to drowning out these feelings that I was great at putting my poker face back up. We talked, we had breakfast, we let ourselves feel a bit sad about her leaving.

Then, just about half an hour before we actually had to go shower to take her to the station, it happened. The one moment that made me feel confident this all wasn’t just in my head. It all wasn’t just wishful thinking of a lonely pathetic girl who got way too bullied in high school.

We were having an impromptu pillow fight cause why not. That’s how girls who are secretly in love handle their feelings after all. It’s universal I think. And, well, on the overall 9 days we spent together irl I never actually beat her once because I’m just that much of a noddle. But this one fight we were both in bed, with weak footing and etc. You can see where this is going.

So on a scene to rival any anime, or that one gif of girls playing handball that fall on top of each other, she fell on top of me. Well, did she fall? I don’t know. For all I know, she planned.

And we had the moment. The gaze. Those few indescribable seconds of your life that you’re always gonna remember like yesterday, no matter how old you get. She had each of my hands pinned to the side of my head, and at first I thought we were still fighting so I just struggled and laughed and was saying stuff like “get off me ya psycho!”. But then I looked up. I looked up and.

And then I felt it. I felt everything her eyes were telling me. She wasn’t playing with me anymore. She was staring at me as if she already knew it was going to be the last time. She was staring at me as if it was a love story because it was. She was staring at me as if her entire existence, as if the whole oxygen on the earth itself depending on my presence.

She was staring at me like I has never been looked at before, or since. Even with a 3-years long relationship I had muuuch later on. No one had never, or will ever, look at me the way she looked at me.

And I froze. I froze because I had no idea what else to do. I froze because inside my head back then this was still wrong. Girls should not kiss. Girls should never kiss.

It was wrong.

It was so wrong, but nothing, not a single piece of bigot ramble ever uttered in history would make me feel more scared than losing my best friend. Nothing in the world scared me more than losing her.

Could I cross this boundary? Did she want to? Or was it just a spur on the moment thing?

But then she stared at my lips and I could not help but lick my own. Out of instinct, out of craving, out of love.

To the risk of getting an angry mob to my house right now, no, we did not kiss.

In fact, I dont quite remember the next few seconds at all. It had been single the most intense moment in my life at this point. It is still one of the most intense moments I’ve ever experienced. I completely blanked out of how I actually got pulled out of it and back into the land of living. Next thing I know we are sitting on opposite sides of the bed, trying to move away from the awkwardness. We did manage, in a couple of minutes. and things went back to normal between us.

But things would never be back to normal within me.

I’m gonna take a pause here to point out I’m bisexual. So like every bisexual, I am a very confused person. Cause you see, the moment you figure out you're bisexual it’s so much more confusing than figuring out you're fully homosexual. Because in the moment, things don’t just click. Things dont just start to magically make sense. I was 16 and I had absolutely liked guys before. Was it with this intensity? No because I was fucking 16. She was the first person I was been truly in love with. But I know it in my soul that if she was a dude I would love her with the exact same intensity. This particular discourse took me another three years to solve, but I digress.

And then she left.

She left and, like I said, her mother had programed her entire july milimetrically so we could be as far apart as possible. She left my house straight back to her ranch, not even her own house, And they have no internet there, so no MSN. Just a single 30-minutes phone call a day, for the 4 days after we had spent the entire week cooped up in bed inside blankets and playing lame-ass RPGs. And then right after that she left for germany for two full weeks. But before that particular trip, she did manage to get home. She got home to a letter of her grandma that read...

Well to be honest I cannot tell you what it read exactly. Because she was extremely vague about it when telling me. But it was enough to destroy her. It was enough to make her think that her grandma would not want anything to do with her anymore and it was based off somewhat new events. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure out the full contents of the letter. Her family is from the brazilian Bible Belt. But back then, at 16, confused as fuck, and already preemptively heartbroken, I legit had no idea what it said. She was vague and I didn’t want to pry. I just wanted to make her stop crying. I just wanted to put that beautiful smile back in her face but on that day I could feel her slipping away for the first time.

The rest of the story takes place in just a bit under two months. Maybe 6 weeks at most.

She goes to germany and finds a boyfriend, as one does. She leeches on this boy like a lifeline, but never stops texting me our 3 international texts we were allowed daily. In fact, the first thing she did after kissing him was pulling off her phone as texting me.

You can imagine how well this guy takes it.

Now, she goes back to brasil and this guy actually lives somewhat close to her. It’s a doable relationship. Once they both have access to internet and MSN again, and she is fast to introduce us, so happy that both of the most important people in her life are meeting. Even tho they had been together for like 3 weeks at this point.

I’m ok with it because, well, I still hadn’t figured myself out. I know no one will believe this, but I honestly did not feel jealousy. In fact, it was almost relief. Relief that I would not need to look into my feelings any further than I had back in july. I was happy for her. She seemed genuinely happy with this guy, and so was I.

And then Independence Day weekend comes and hell starts to... well, not break loose, but certainly get weaker on the seams. In here Independence Day is on September 7th, but both on my city and hers there's a city holiday on the 8th. On that year it ended up getting us a 4-day weekend again, and obviously I thought I was the one who was gonna be invited to visit her. I has been counting on it, planning for it.

Two weeks or so before that she informs me that she wants to invite her boyfriend over instead of it, which is like. Ok. Fair. But for the first time in this entire story I felt jealousy. Because that ranch, those stars, that sky... it was our place. I did not wanna share those experiences I had with her with anyone else. But I kept quiet of course, because how could I not? I tell her “yeah it’s a bit upsetting because I was hopping we could see each other, but I am genuinely happy you get to spend time with him!”

She ghosts me in that week.

To this day, 12 years and 2 months later, I do not know why. I do not know how. I know her grandma called again when she learned the boyfriend was gonna come over and not me, but that’s all.

She ghosted me before ghosting was even a thing. So I had no other social parameter to deal with the situation. I will never forget the absolutely heart wrenching pain I felt when I figured out she had blocked me on MSN. It’s indescribable.

It’s indescribable because she was the first person I felt like actually gave a flying fuck if I lived of died, if I was happy or if I cried. And she had up and decided to fucking cut me out her life without a single fucking word of explanation. One night everything was fine, we even had a group chat with her boyfriend. The next day she is gone forever. I don’t know, nor I think I will ever learn what triggered it. What was the last fucking draw, the last fucking prejudiced word directed at her that made her do it.

My world had been full of color, full of life, and even if literally everyone around me in real life would be so much happier if I didn’t exist (back then I DID NOT get along with my mother), she had seemed this entire time to be so much happier with me around. She was the one person who liked my existence. And literally overnight, I wake up and my world is empty. My world is empty and my air is missing and I don’t fucking know why.

It’s been 12 years and I still don’t know why.

Her boyfriend harassed me a bit back on orkut. Like, I have no idea why. It was unprompted. But it does give you a big fucking clue does it now?

I haven’t gotten a single word from her ever again. I know she’s alive, that’s not the fucking point of the story. I know because I tried to contact her again through every fucking means possible. I even sent her a letter of all things for fuck’s sake. When facebook came along I found her there too and sent her a message. Once 3 years after the fact, and then again 6 years after the fact. That was the last time I tried contacting her.

I cannot say I was “faithful”, so to speak. I cannot say she has been the only thing in my mind. I cannot say that I have not loved again, because I have. I had a serious 3-year relationship, as I mentioned. I had actual gay disasters stories in between. She has not remained the foremost thing in my mind. She has not remained my one true love. There were times where I spent months without thinking about her. Even silly crushes are enough to stray my thoughts away, to stray my heart away

But what worth are those times if I always go back to thinking of her as soon as I see myself without someone? What worth are those times where she is not in my mind, if she had never left my heart to begin with?

What worth is forgetting about her at times when she is my default setting?

I know what you're thinking. “you’re not in love with her, you’re in love with the idea of what could have been”. And you’re absolutely right. I know you are. I’m fully aware of it, of the implications of it, not only on my love life but my mental health.

But she has been the single most influential person in my life. She was the one that got me to writing. She was the one who made face my mother and have The Talk we needed for fucking 16 years about who my father was. Fuck, she is the sole responsible for setting my life on that path, and all the domino effect of events that happened because of the decision of talking to my mother about it. She was the one that made me figure out I was bisexual. Not a lesbian, definitively not straight, but not gay either. Bisexual, out and proud.

She was my first love.

She was my first love and she is the one that makes me give some credit to the saying “at the end of your life you will see you’ve fallen in love with the same person over and over again”.

She was my first love and she makes me go fucking crazy enough to give the whole “soulmates” concept a decent thought, because this cannot have been natural. Loneliness cannot explain the entire thing. It cannot explain how ridiculously drawn I was to her right away. Attraction doesn’t explain it either. It cannot explain how insanely synced up I’ve always felt to her. How insanely connected.

I’m not gonna lie, I loved my ex. Truly and deeply. They were the only person to ever treat me respect, and I felt almost as connected to them as I did to her. Almost.

If we are getting technical, I felt, like, 95% synced up with them. Which is more than the vast majority of humankind can only dream of feeling.

But it was not 100%.

There has only been one person in my life that I have felt 100% connected with. One person in my life I have not been able to shake away, have not been able to get over. Oh I have moved on. I have moved on and moved back in and then moved on again. Many times, over and over.

But I have not gotten over you. I will never get over you. What happened. How it ended. You were my biggest heartbreak. You were my biggest love story, and I didn’t even get to live it.

You make me so illogical that I sincerely hope there is a next life out there. One we can meet, sit down, and talk.

I’m sure you are a completely different person right now. I am a completely different person too. And it is insane, it is illogical, and it is immature to think that these two completely different people would still have any vestige of a thing in common like we did as kids. Because we were kids. We were kids and now we are both adults, and have a single damn thing changed?

A whole fuckton of them changed. Seasons changed. Years changed. The entire fucking world changed. I have changed more than you can possible imagine a person would in 12 years.

But you being the default setting of my heart has not changed. No matter how “unfaithful” I’ve been to you. No matter how much I will keep on living not being attached to you. No matter how much I know at some point I will forget you, forget this feeling, and bask into the pleasure of a new love. No matter how much at some point I will surely think “wow, what a crazy bitch I was back then, with all these feelings for a random girl who certainly doesn’t even remember I exist”.

And that’s one of my biggest fears you see. Cause for me you are half the fucking book. For me you’re the constant element that comes back when sea is calm and things are ok.

And I fear that to you I was nothing more than a line, maybe a throwaway paragraph in your life.

[musicalmagic]

Quarantine Days [2]

Summary: Coronavirus has arrived to the BTS members and yourself. Grappling with boredom and the reality that, yeah, you really all were stuck in the same place for a while. Ensure that the shenanigans of your days with BTS are recounted here, and please do remember, stay in contact with those you love.

A/N: It’s only chapter 2, and I already have the angst. Hahahahhh, sorry sorry. I promise there’s more good than bad, but frustrations need to come first before the good, no?

* Pairing: BTS (OT7) x reader (Idol Au)

* Word Count: 1,654

* Genre: Angst, Fluff

* Warnings: Coronavirus

1 2

Tag List: @itspwi

It was an early evening, sun only just beginning its decent into the concrete jungle that existed just outside the window of the high-rise apartment. Jungkook and Taehyung decided to play videogames after an easy-going discussion for the next album with the rest of the members, Jimin occasionally popping in to pick on the two when they messed up in Mario Kart races or Street Fighter matches. You were with Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok in the studio fiddling with Cubase and other DAWs for fun, settling on a weird plugin to occupy the time, that distorted whoever’s voice spoke or sang into the microphone.

“Hey, HEY, don’t worrrry ‘bout me!” Namjoon’s filtered voice filtered about the space, while Hoseok was laughing his ass off at the wobbliness of it all, Yoongi had a small smile on his face, and you were around the same state as Hoseok. Clutching onto Hoseok’s shoulder as you balled with giggles like you were being tickled.

Seokjin was in his shared room, happily on his phone when Jimin bursts through the door. The man was so startled that he chucked his phone toward Jimin — who barely managed to duck after he himself was shocked, and the two just stood there in silence. Seokjin nervously smiled, before Jimin took off after him in a jokingly angered way. Running to catch up and managing to snag Seokjin’s jacket that swirled around him like leaves in the wind, pulling him back toward him but instead of wrapping his arms around his waist, was in fact knocked to the ground. Seokjin’s larger frame landing directly on top of him. The men grunted as gravity stomped on them, air escaping their lungs from the impact.

Jungkook waddled out from the living room to find Jimin attempting to shove Seokjin off of him but was failing miserably, grumbling curses under his breath when he realised it was impossible. Taehyung appeared moments later clutching his stomach in hysterics at the sight. Seokjin was laughing as well, which only made Jimin even more pissed. He quickly hooked Seokjin’s right leg around his own and pulled Seokjin’s right arm towards the ground, pushing his other leg upwards in an attempt to get Seokjin off — who completely fell off of Jimin in surprise.

“You alright there?” Taehyung questioned, a tint of glee in his tone. Jimin just glared at him from the floor, looking close to punch him. Seokjin stood up and began to pat his clothes to rid the creases, eyeing the two in front of him and heavily sighing. Glad that Jungkook wasn’t here either.

You and Hoseok, still on about the craziness of distorted Namjoon singing, happened upon the trio’s standstill with Jungkook also coming out to peek at what was going on. Jimin and Taehyung were bickering, while Seokjin just looked like he wanted to run the other way, ears tinted red and staring at anything but Jimin and Taehyung.

You sighed and looked to Hoseok, who had a firm, but unreadable expression on his face. He turned back the way he came.

You all stood still.

Waiting.

  Hoseok returned with Namjoon, Yoongi trailing behind him. With a single nod to everyone, Namjoon successfully dragged everyone to the living room. Jungkook promptingly switching the TV off, as you all settled on the available seats.

“First, what happened before this?”

Jimin huffed, crossing his arms, and simply saying, “Seokjin threw his phone at me.”

“You startled me first by barging into my room!” Seokjin angerly remarked, “Unannounced, might I add.”

“I didn’t know you had a phone in your hand!”

“Maybe you should knock next time then.”

Jimin grumbled again, unable to reply.

Namjoon just sighed into his hand, trying to think what to do.

“We are only two months into this lockdown and already fights are breaking out. You two need to find a way to cool off,” Yoongi chimed in. Namjoon gently nodding next to him.

You sat there in puddle of your own sweat at the idea it was only two months since the lockdown, and there were already conflicts. How can they stay friends in such close proximity in general?

Jimin sat up and headed out of the living room towards his room, and Seokjin did the same. The six of you remaining all collectively agreed to leave the two alone, and went off. Although, the five boys decided on watching a movie, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung, Namjoon and Jungkook all began scrolling through Netflix while you stared out into space. Furrowing your brows deep in thought.

While lockdown was stressful enough, you wondered if or when it’d get better. This definitely wasn’t a normal honeymoon phase when new events start. In fact, it felt more bickery than flattery.

“Hey ­_____, are you going to watch with us?” Jungkook asked, pulling you out of your head.

“Yeah, sure. Have you guys chosen something?”

Yoongi answered quickly, “We thought a light-hearted movie would be good.”

“So we’re putting on a Disney movie,” Hoseok finished. Namjoon hummed in confirmation, “The Little Mermaid.”

You perked up at that, smiling, “Sounds good! Put it on, put it on!” You excitedly said.

Everyone there chuckled at your reaction, putting the movie on quickly.

--

Pretty much everyone had fallen asleep by the time the movie’s credits had rolled on by. The boys all somehow ended up on top of each other in a cuddle puddle, and you had to wordlessly move their legs off your own to get to the kitchen.

Seokjin was there when you entered, his fingers tapping the mug he held as he drank what was in there silently, brows furrowed in concentration. You paused at the doorway, concerned.

“Seokjin? Are you alright?” He didn’t startle and held firm, only slightly surprised at your sudden introduction.

He looked tired as he answered with an, “I’m fine _____. Thanks.”

You padded over and took out a glass from one of the cabinets, filling it with water when Seokjin asked, “How’s everyone else?”

“Asleep. I don’t know how to get them all to their beds,” you replied while sipping on the water.

Standing a lot closer to Seokjin, you focused on how seriously exhausted the man was. Seokjin is someone who doesn’t vocalise their struggles often, and prefers to show the happier sides of life, and is a calming presence. But you felt that the person in front of you was drained entirely.

So, you put your glass down, and did the same with Seokjin’s, which was easier as it was already on the island. You slid the cup away from him.

“Let’s go to bed Jin.” Seokjin began, “But what abo—”

“I’ll handle them. You need sleep.”

With that, Seokjin headed off to bed, grumbling but still going along with it anyways.

You turned back to the doorway that led to the living room. Ah yay, this’ll be fun. You quickly walked into the room. Noticing first the black TV, how it turned off by itself, and the sleepy forms of most of your friends. Yoongi and Jungkook had managed to end up on top of one another, while Namjoon, Taehyung and Hoseok had all curled around each other. Your first instinct was to yell loudly, but that would wake everyone else up.

With some hesitation, you went with shaking them all from the shoulder. Jungkook, Namjoon and Hoseok woke up easy, eyes drowsy and drooping though, but they all helped you try and wake the last two who were notorious heavy sleepers. At one point, Hoseok had tried jumping onto Taehyung, but just fell off the side of the couch when he landed; Taehyung had just curled further into the fetus position and mumbling incoherent nonsense. Which, to be fair, all of you who were up found hilarious.

Yoongi was the same, well, mostly. He kept between half-asleep and asleep, and you and Namjoon thought by this time Yoongi was just messing with you all.

Instead of Hoseok, Jungkook tried jumping on the two-sleeping people, and actually managed to get Yoongi up. Who just shot up and glared at the maknae. Now it was Taehyung that was still asleep.

Which, Jungkook also handled easily. He resulted to pinching the slightly older man awake.

You sighed in relief, all of them were awake.

Namjoon glanced at everyone as they all yawned, he clapped twice and sent everyone to their rooms.

--

Jimin and Seokjin were tense around each other when morning came. Avoiding the other completely when they could. Namjoon was over the behaviour and called another meeting.

“Alright, you two need to work this out.”

They didn’t even look at each other.

“Answer me guys. I can’t do anything if you don’t talk what’s on your mind, yes?” Namjoon firmly reminded them.

Seokjin huffed, “I’m pissed at him.”

“Why would you be pissed at me? I would be more so! You through your phone at me and sat on me! This isn’t fair Namjoon! Why am I even here?” Jimin angerly spouted at the two.

Namjoon groaned under his breath. Annoyance etched into his expression as the two started arguing again.

“Okay!” You yelled—shutting them up. “Look, Seokjin,” You began, “I can understand why you’d be angry, someone barged into your room without knocking, and I empathise that throwing your phone was a reflex, but not moving when Jimin was struggling underneath you wasn’t nice, yes?”

Seokjin’s gaze drifted from yours, silent.

“Jimin,” you turned to him, “Don’t go into other people’s rooms—even if its shared, you never know if someone is busy, cooling off, or needing space. Always knock.”

“Now, Seokjin apologise to Jimin; Jimin do the same.”

It was nothing short of amazing, how quickly you handled everything. The rest of the boys watching you in fascination, as the two apologised, genuinely so.

As the group dispersed once more, Yoongi and Namjoon had the same thought, “I’m glad she’s here.”

Previous Chapter?

Next Chapter?

[runesfactory]

run cried the crawling | 03

summary: Tasokare Hotel is a place that exists between the real world and the afterlife. A residing place for spirits whose fate has yet been decided. To die or to live on. Aesop has yet to discover the truth behind his own near demise. It was until a stranger walked through the doors of the hotel with an owl head that the horrific truth began to unravel.

pairing: aesop carl x eli clark

genre: mystery, supernatural & gothic romance

word count: 5399

warnings:  mature themes. descriptive writing of violence and blood. body horror. strong angst. equally strong romance. heavy pining. mild profanity. death. tasokare hotel spoilers.

chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | ...

The more time Eli spends at the hotel, he discovers new things every day just by observing his surroundings. He meets odd guests and peculiar staff that he hasn’t met before. Not to mention, he’d get lost through some of the halls that seem to elongate themselves and each curve of every corner lead him to many different places, he wasn’t aware of before. Surely, all with the guidance of Emma herself. He finds her never-ending enthusiasm over the smallest of things to be refreshing.

That’s not to say he’s gotten used to being there. Certainly not. He counts time passing by days by striking a line written on paper each time he wakes up from sleep. Even with seeing the same thing, nothing about the place feels like home. It brings you comfort. It doesn’t help too that the windows of his room show the night sky. It’s quite the sight, but nothing like the barren world he entered when he first arrived.

There’s the faint sound of the train tracks vibrating against the ground. The smell of grass after a day full of rain along with the breezy wind. Not to mention the small freckles of stars decorating the night sky. Looking out his window feels like he’s in a whole different world: reality. It’s nothing like the hotel because it feels real. It’s all real, aside from the fixed night sky. That aspect is very much unreal, though as a night person himself, he doesn’t mind. He takes in the cold breeze with ease in his heart.

Eli looks up at the stars and unconsciously begin to connect lines between each spec.

Like they’re meant to be connected to create a whole picture.

Constellations are fascinating. It may seem like widespread random bits of stars interconnected as a whole, but it’s far from that. There’s meaning to them, even as random or sporadic it may seem pattern-wise. Perhaps it’s the same for our memories. Plenty of it scattered all over our tiny heads like sprinkles on top of ice cream, and each of them holds meaning.

So, when one piece is lost, then it’s impossible to create something whole again.

Eli believes that, at least. But perhaps, it’s all too hopeful since memories can be so fragile. Recollecting certain memories can have so much effect on you and it is so painful that it leads us to our worst points. Having to regain his memories back feels like he’s being tasked to gather the stars, rebuild the constellation again. But without knowing how it looked like, to begin with. An impossible task.

He’s written down things that he remembers, but couldn’t come up with anything significant. It brought everything to a halt. Although Eli maintains a calm demeanor most of the time. However, the moment the door of his bedroom closes, he’s devastated. What happens then if he doesn’t remember? He can’t imagine living the rest of his not-so-alive life in this state of limbo. Not for him, at least.

From the amount of thinking he’s done, he feels he’d be bound for yet a sleep-deprived week. So he’s come up with an idea. An idea that, well, to keep him occupied while doing his own investigation and that idea would be—

“You want to help around at the hotel?” Emma tilts her head to the side, albeit her smile still displayed across her face as friendly as ever. It’s a new day at the hotel and Eli finds himself assisting in Emma’s room with her surprisingly large indoor garden. She’s been staying up all morning making sure every single plant is well-taken care of. It’s quite surprising to see how vastly different other people’s rooms are compared to his, convinced that each of those rooms does reflect the individual. A room is like a heart after all.

“Sure! I don’t see why not! I mean, the manager’s probably not opposed to the idea of having extra hands on board. But can’t say the same for Ms. Nair.”

“Ms. Nair? The bartender?”

Emma nods. “She’s mostly responsible for, well, everything. Ms. Nair is a little bit strict on choosing who gets to help around here. So, it might be harder to convince her.”

Vera Nair. Eli’s only seen her once before while he’s exploring around the hotel. She was quite the busy woman, always rushing from one end of the hotel to the other when there are a handful of guests around. Her appearance is quite distinct. Always wearing a campy outfit dripped in the colour purple, with her sharp heels clicking against the floors being one of the things that will make anyone aware of her presence.

“Then I would need to speak to her to help around here, right?” Eli questions putting one hand under his chin in a fist.

“Yep, but I’d say it’s best to talk to Norton first before approaching her! She trusts Norton a whole lot so who knows he can put a good word to ‘ya!” Emma nudges the side of his arm.

Norton Campbell. He remembers the man from the other day. He’s quiet, almost unhinged by Eli’s presence though Eli can’t quite point out exactly the atmosphere the man exudes. He has a peculiar getup himself. A mask that hides a portion of his face with such refined details accompanied by a dark maroon blazer, accentuated by gold threads sewn in patterns. The red scar over his left eye, the metal piercings over the bridge of his nose, and well, his glare. Uneasy to him, but maybe it’s just him.

“Good luck on finding Norton though. He’s a bit of a fickle to find.” She adds.

“How so?”

“Hmm,” Emma pauses, “It’s like… he’s everywhere, but nowhere all at the same time? I mean, one time I would see him with Naib then the next, poof! Gone! Nowhere to be found!”

Everywhere, but nowhere. He’d agree more on the latter.

He continues to find the figure from every corner of the hotel, but luck doesn’t seem to side with him. Eli finds himself on the unexpected side of the hotel. The indoor gardens, a much bigger one than the one in Emma’s room. Now that he thinks about it, just how big her room is? Oh well, it doesn’t matter really.

The greenhouse has a tall ceiling watching over him and quite the jungle in there. He could only hear the water hitting the surface of a fountain placed at the center of the glasshouse. His steps echo through the empty room as he fondly gazes over the plants around him. An excitement bubbles within him when his eyes land on small critters wandering around certain plants, recognizing them by heart. Unfortunately, he doesn’t bring along his journal.

“Aren’t you a lovely one?” He gleefully says to the squirrel that’s giving him a puzzled look with those large, glimmering eyes. The place makes him feel at ease. Animals do at least. His fingers gently graze over the soft fur, causing the little animal to lean closer to his hand. He remembers about his own lovely bird, Brooke. He misses her. Seeing the empty birdcage in his room becomes a reminder of the empty confinement in his heart. At least he knows being in nature brings him comfort, another thing for him to hold onto in a world full of unfamiliarity.

It doesn’t seem searching through the place bears any fruit after all. He takes the last few glances around as a way to make sure. Then, his eyes catch the presence of a certain silver-haired man. Eli carefully watches him from a safe distance before approaching. Aesop looks down at the golden flowers. Yellow roses. His covered hands touch them gently as if a mere touch would break them. There’s a soft look in Aesop’s eyes that Eli couldn’t describe. Fondness, perhaps. That’s the word he’s looking for.

But while he’s preoccupied feeling mesmerized at the individual, he fails to notice his shifting body. Bump! He trips falls face-first onto the ground. Causing a ruckus, unsurprisingly. “Shit,” He curses to himself. Quite the elegant fall, he hisses at himself internally. A hand appears before him, his face shifts from a painful wince to a surprised one. When he looks up, he sees the same gentle eyes he was admiring just a few seconds ago.

Eli takes the hand, heart beating fast now before standing up. Patting off the leaves clinging onto his pants while chuckling to himself. “My! That was, uh, very clumsy of me! Not surprised. My sense of balance is shaky at best.” He jokes. As if it would lighten up any awkwardness that could come up from him being a creep by watching from a distance.

Aesop’s eyes flutter away, pulling his hand away slowly. He stares at the scratch that appears on Eli’s hand. Probably from brushing itself against the harsh branch. He did fall with quite the impact through the bushes. Not to mention the thorns. Why did he think hiding behind a bush full of roses was ever a good idea? But then, good ideas are not exactly Eli’s strongest suit.

“You’re hurt.” A simple fact stated by Aesop himself, but coming from him, it’s laced with worry. He says it quietly, but it doesn’t hide away the exasperation.

“Oh, it’s fine. This is nothing, really. You don’t have to worry about it. It was my clumsy mistake.” Eli brushes it off with a fling of his hand and a soft chuckle. But it doesn’t wash away the concern now forming on Aesop’s face. Like clockwork, Aesop pulls out a handkerchief and a tiny bottle from his inner pocket. He gently dabs the content of the bottle onto the cloth, letting some sip through before pressing it gently on the wound.

“Antiseptic. So, it doesn’t get worst.” He continues to carefully brush over the wound with the cloth. He does it all with so much care and attentiveness. Eli notices that almost immediately. From their first encounter when he first arrived. Aesop’s mannerism, way of speaking captivated Eli. Some might find it standoffish, but he just finds it riveting. It’s probably because he’s pretty. He thought of that once.

Although to be fair, Aesop is very attractive. He’d be lying to himself if he ever says otherwise. The first encounter they had when he first arrives, he tried his best to not show his nerve-wracking self.

All that aside, Aesop cares about his craft. He’s very meticulous with his tasks. He seems unwavering especially in front of others. “You’re very prepared, Mr. Carl.” He compliments him instead, trying to brush off the very fact that this very attractive man is tending to his wounds. By the gay gods, what will he do? If he says something stupid and makes a fool out of himself, he’s going to—

“It’s simply part of the job,” Aesop replies shortly. Giving the wound a final rub before covering it with a bandage that Eli doesn’t see him pulling out. It’s no ordinary bandage though. It’s a blue bandage covered in some patterns he couldn’t describe. It’s cute. So very cute.

He continues to ask Eli, “What are you doing here, if I may ask?”

“Oh,” Eli stammers, “Oh, uh, I was looking for Mr. Campbell! I’ve been looking everywhere, but it seems that he’s nowhere to be seen.”

Aesop tilts his head to the side slightly. “Norton?"

He nods, a tad bit too enthusiastically maybe. “I want to ask for him to put in a word for me to Ms. Nair. I’m looking to help around the hotel, as I’ve told already to Emma.”

Aesop’s eyes widen slightly but don’t say much. Eli wonders if it had rubbed him in the wrong way from the way the slightly taller man’s expression switches almost in a blink of an eye. The silence coming from the man lasts longer than his own comfort, but he doesn’t say it.

“It’s just that,” He ponders over his words for a moment. “I’d hate to put the burden on you for helping me recover my memories. I thought about it after what had happened, and I completely understand you need some time away from it. Take as much time as you need.”

Eli just smiles at Aesop then continues. “I thought it’d be best to figure things out by mine how things work around here. I must be honest, I’m a little lost most of the time but think I’ll be less confused if I just get the hang of things.” He gestures a thumbs up playfully. Probably embarrassing himself slightly, but it’s the truth. “And again, I apologize for what happened. I don’t think any number of apologies could convey how sorry I am.”

“No, not at all. It’s okay.” Aesop responses come out like soft whisper almost.

Of course, the tension is a little awkward. Eli doesn’t want to scare away Aesop like last time, but he keeps in mind to make sure not to overwhelm him. His mind scatters what should he say then it comes out. “So, how are you feeling now?”

“Much better,” This time Aesop smiles a little. It sends warmth through Eli’s chest. “Thank you for asking, Mr. Clark.”

“Eli.”

“Hm?”

“Just Eli is fine. But feel free to call me anything you’d like, whatever fits your cup of tea. I just thought Mr. Clark would be much too formal unless you prefer Mr. Clark. Then that’s fine!” He stammers. Aesop nods at that.

“Thank you, Eli.” His name slips out of Aesop’s lips like a gentle whisper. It feels just right, Eli thinks. He just can’t figure out exactly why it feels that way, so he brushes it off. For now.

“Well,” Eli takes a deep breath. “I best be on my way to continue my search. Or I’ll just ask Ms. Nair right away, doesn’t seem like Mr. Campbell’s available anyway.” He takes a few steps back, bowing slightly at Aesop. “It was nice chatting with you, Mr. Carl.”

He turns around with his back facing Aesop. The sound of the water hitting the fountain’s surface echoes through the chamber along with his footsteps. All is quiet, until-

A little murmur.

“Hm?” Eli turns his head towards Aesop, who’s now looking down at his feet. Avoiding eye contact it seems. His fingers fidgeting, not knowing what to grasp nor do. “Did you say anything, Mr. Carl?”

“Aesop…” It’s very faint, but Eli catches it in his ear. “Call me Aesop.” Although Aesop is generally soft-spoken, there’s a certain lightness in his tone. A positive one. To that, Eli smiles widely at him.

“Okay, Aesop.” He speaks through his smile, unable to put it down it seems. “It’s nice talking to you.” It feels right and he can’t leave it be.

“Same to you,” Aesop pauses, forming a small smile on his face. “Eli.”

Just as Eli walks away, he finds it hard to control the explosive sparkles blasting within his chest and the churning tickles in his stomach. It feels right, he echoes in his mind. And he can’t let the feeling go.

After their meeting, Aesop feels oddly lighter though unsurprisingly, quite wary. A little less than before though. He feels he’s been walking on thin ice all this time ever since the last memory trigger. Unconsciously always, his hands would reach to the back of his head. His eyes fluttering, confused, and lost. But time passes, so he too must move forward somehow. He’s gotten a little better now, less tense and less frequent visits to the doctor’s office, but there’s always that dread that it’ll happen again. At some point, it will. It has to.

“Focus.” He tells himself through deep breaths.

In the middle of brewing some tea, he’s lost himself in his own thoughts it seems. Only brought back to the present from the ting of the spoon against the ceramic cup. The slight pinch he gives himself doesn’t help besides leaving a red spot. Maybe he needs some caffeine in his system to wake him up, but what good does that do to a barely living soul? He stares down at his hands. The way his slender finger curls up to his palm, but rather than his own skin it’s the white gloves that he’s been wearing.

He gets the sense that he’s always worn gloves. Part of his wardrobe as he worked his days at the morgue. By the looks of it, the habit comes along with him even now. He wonders if he’ll ever be out of there, rather if it’s worth the effort to fight for the life he once knew. There are too many questions, too many uncertainties. It makes him anxious, causing his heart to beat fast at the thought of the unknown. So, Aesop brushes it off. For now, at least. Let him live a moment of peace without dreading the unknown. If the afterlife can grant him that, he’ll live his way here to his end.

Aesop carries the tray full of snacks and tea down the hallway of the third floor. Emma was responsible to assist this guest, however, she has come to him for aid and he agrees. With him, he’s brought freshly baked cookies aside from the full course meal that Naib has prepared. Something about the guest barging into his kitchen unannounced, but mostly Norton is to blame. So here he is. With his feet stomping against the carpeted floor, balancing himself to avoid the tray from wavering even the slightest.

“If it’s not too much, please make sure there’s not another bottle of liquor in there! Ms. Nair has made sure it wouldn’t happen, but I’m just worried.” Emma’s note stuck in the back of his mind.

When approaching the door, Aesop prepares himself. He knocks on the door. And before he could say anything, it opens.

“Ms. Bourbon?” He calls out to her, greeted by the darkness of the room. Now both hands tightly grip on the food tray. He pushes the door further, now the light of the hall shines inside of the room, giving a glimpse of its state. Messy would be one. Plenty of items are scattered all over the wooden floor. Several bottles on the side of the bed, covering almost all its surface. There, on the bed, is a lump. It rises and down slowly and Aesop concludes where the guest is resting.

“Ms. Bourbon, I’ve come with your food and drinks,” Aesop speaks softly, placing the tray on the coffee table that’s placed not far from the bed. Half of its taken over by even more empty bottles and glasses. It’s a wonder that the room doesn’t smell like alcohol.

He takes one last look around the room, observing every corner. Perhaps, he could assist in cleaning it a little, but he wouldn’t want to disrupt her rest.

“Please make sure to eat, Ms. Bourbon.” He says to her one last time before heading towards the door. Just as he’s about to step out, he hears a loud thump. He turns his head towards the source of the sound, and he sees her slipped out of the sheets. The upper half of her body fallen over to the floor, with her legs hanging onto the bed with all their might. “Ow, ow,” she mutters under her breath. He quickly moves to her side, lifting her slightly by the waist with one of her arms over his shoulders.

“Slowly,” He mumbles under his breath. She rests herself back on the bed, now her eyes fluttering open. “Who-”

He takes a few steps back, “I’m Aesop Carl. Ms. Woods has asked me to deliver your food to your room, as you requested.”

“Give me,” Her hoarse voice speaks, sleepiness still lingers. He tilts his head to the side while she flimsily points at the tray. “Food.”

Quick on his toes, Aesop removes most of the bottles on the side of her table and replace them with the food tray. She swiftly grabs the bottle, chugging it down, but quickly frowned. “Water in an empty wine bottle? This Emma’s idea?” She never looks nor glances at him, assured of the answer. He stands there, still. “Well, I am hungry so don’t mind if I do.”

Demi munches down on the cookies first, all in big bites almost she is swallowing them whole. Between bites, she finally looks at Aesop. After swallowing them, “So, you here to help me, right?”

“Assisting you,” Aesop corrects her. “In recovering your memories, yes.”

She shifts her gaze slightly to behind him. “Emma’s not with you?”

“She’s asked me to be here in her stead. She’s told me all that I need.”

Demi snickers, “Oh, all that you need, hm?” She says mockingly, then continues to bite on the cookies. She takes another chug of the water.

“Then shall we begin-”

“I’m tired. Leave me be.”

Aesop simply stares at her, unable to form the right words at her nonchalant respond. But he persists still, as it is his duty there after all. “Ms. Bourbon, we need to recover your memories or else-“

“Or else what?” She cuts him off again. This time taking big bites of the food Naib’s prepared. “That I’ll be trapped here for the rest of my life? That I’ll die?”

He’s silent for a while, but still, maintain an unwavering posture and gaze on her. She slouches over the plate, taking less messy bites of the food. Looking down at it with fluttering eyes, her hair’s tangled up. When Demi looks at Aesop, there is a disdain in them. Full of distrust and frustration, something that he’s familiar with.

“Need to recover memories,” Demi repeats his words bitterly. “What if I don’t want to, hm? What are you gonna say to that?”

Nothing, he wanted to say. Nothing, if he's being honest.. Is there truly a need to recover them? What if you don’t want to remember things? Then what? But he couldn’t say it. Not to anyone, especially to guests who rely on them to move on. He wouldn’t do that.

So he doesn’t say anything.

“Leave me be.” Another pop of a bottle, “I’ll call you if I need anything.”

Demi dismisses him without looking.

It takes a while for him to finally make his move. He wants to say something, but the words never arrive in his mouth. There's no use to confront her in this state, he tells himself. So he leaves the room, leaving Demi alone in her disheveled state and a bottle in one hand.

“What is it with people and asking for jobs here? You’re not even getting paid!” Vera’s exclaims loudly, voice echoing through the bar causing a couple of eyes to turn towards them. “Enjoy your barely living state! Relax! You humans can’t avoid capitalism even in death, it’s tragic.”

The remark’s meant to be out of concern, but rather it’s laced with pity. Eli doesn’t blame her, really. The exchange didn’t go quite so well, as he expected, but now he doesn’t have much to do but dig through on his own. At the very least, now he can stop his attempt to find Norton. Oddly enough, still nowhere to be found. Just how big can this place hide a man. Wrong question to ask, really. Considering, he'd gotten lost several times his first day here. Relax, she says. Funny enough, that’s the last thing he’s able to do here. Such a grand place of this size intimidates him. The chandelier that towers over him, the empty rooms, and hallways. It’s even much more terrifying with this state.

He makes his way back to his room. Slow steps this time, fatigued after spending an entire day of searching up and down through the hotel. What a mystery. Eli hasn’t been successful in his search, not even once he’s able to find him. Not even a glimpse of Norton anywhere. How can someone just vanish like that? He’s quite certain he’d be somewhere in this house. Perhaps he should’ve asked Vera where Norton might be. However, all for naught.

The walk through the hallway is quite daunting. Sometimes, he feels as if the length of the halls had been stretched. Like a never-ending maze that he must overcome. The lengthy red-carpeted floor taunts at him, like a stretching bloody river. He walks and walks, faster with each step.

He can feel his own footsteps. The bottom of his shoe pressed against the carpeted floor. But he can’t shake the feeling of a presence. Someone else’s steps that are slightly offbeat from his. Is there someone following him? He quickens his pace a little. Now the sound is more audible. Footsteps following right behind him. Eli’s heart beats faster and faster. He turns around.

Nothing. Was it just in his head? He could’ve sworn someone, or something was following him. The feeling of someone staring at the back of your neck. Maybe he’s more tired than he thought.

“Should sleep,” He mumbles to himself approaching his door. At the swing of the door, a ring echoes through his room. A telephone rings. There was a telephone in his room? Since when? How come he never noticed it before?

Eli enters his room, closing his door shut, and follows where the sound comes from. And there it is. A telephone vibrating against the side table beside his own bed. There’s never been a phone there. Never. Now there is. He still can’t shake the feeling of another presence nearby. His nerves are scattered, but he tries to maintain a calm demeanor. The phone continues to ring and ring itself into his head.

He tightens his fist, easing the trembles before picking up the phone. It picks up with a click, then he says, “Hello? Who’s this?“

Heavy breathing greets his ear. ‘You,’ A hoarse voice speaks from the phone.

This voice. The air grows too thick for him to breathe, the rapid heartbeat in his chest pounds against his chest. Eli can feel himself starts to lose himself.

‘I’m sure you understand why I’m making this call,’ The person continues, ‘You should know better than to continue the route you’re going. He won’t be going with you. Do you think I haven’t noticed what the two of you have been up to? I know him more than anyone. I know what’s best for him, that is not you. Aesop will stay. Forget about him if you know what’s best for the two of you.’

What have we been up to? What’s best for him? He wants to ask, but no words come out of his mouth.

‘Don’t think for a second I’ve forgotten about you, Eli Clark.’

A sudden pound strikes Eli’s head. He winces, one hand holding against his head while he falls onto his knees. A memory trigger. He crouches, curling his bed as if to protect himself from the pain he was feeling. His fingers tighten around his hair, clenching it as the voice continues to speak through the phone. It hurts, it really hurts, it--

--is soft. Both of Aesop’s hands take hold of his face, with his glimmering eyes sinking into his blue ones. They’re surrounded by glowing, yellow roses. Eli’s hands rest on top of Aesop’s and the man in front of him smiles. A smile so wide, so beautiful. Eli presses his lips against Aesop’s in a deep kiss. He presses further, deepens it while Aesop’s fingers tangle themselves in his hair. Pulling on it. Now, his own hands wander down Aesop’s back, gently caressing his exposed back while his lips travel down to his neck.

He hears a soft gasp. A sound that he yearns for more. So, he bites, earning another reaction from Aesop. He can feel his hot breath against Eli’s ear. He can feel the warmth. Aesop whispers, “I love you. I love you so much, Eli.”

“I’ll go with you,” Aesop tells him. Despite his shaking hands, there is a determination clearly written across his face.

“We’ll go as far as we can. You don’t have to be afraid.” Eli tells him. His mouth moving, speaking words as if it’s beyond his control. “He won’t get to us. We’re in this together, okay? If you’re in trouble, call me and I’ll be by your side in a heartbeat.”

Eli gasps, bringing his consciousness back out. The phone shuts. Click.

He needs to find Aesop.

Aesop makes his return to his room after he was at was the guest’s room. A little later than usual. The hotel’s quieter if it’s possible to get quieter than this. He shuts the door of his room, locking it with a click.

Just as he begins to undress, he felt something. In the inner pockets of his blazer. Aesop’s fingers pressed against the surface of his inner pocket, and he can hear a rustling. The sound of paper. Carefully, he reaches into the pocket and pulls out a… letter.

The letter’s blank. It leaves no trace of anything to identify the sender. Who could’ve possibly slipped this into his pocket without him noticing? All of a sudden, his shoulders become tense as his eyes wander around the room.

Has it always been there? Did someone slip a letter into his jacket?

Frantically, he tugs on the window’s lock. His doors. Opening closets, even drawers, rubbing his hands over shelves. Finding any possible entrance that would have led someone into his room without him noticing.

And, he finds nothing.

There’s a dreadful sense of curiosity rising within him. There’s no harm in reading a letter, right? His fingers trace over the opening cracks of the letter. He lets out a deep breath and rips it open.

He pulls out the piece of paper tucked inside the envelope. It reads…

My love,

His heart stops.

I’ll be there soon. I promise I’ll come for you. I’m sorry that I have to send letters like this. It seems that he’s caught onto us, but don’t worry, we’ll be out of here before he gets to us. I wish you could’ve stayed with me. I’m so afraid that one day I’ll never be able to see you again, especially knowing what he’s done to you. I know you hate it when I bring this up, I’m sorry for making you angry the other night.

Meet me where the yellow roses grow. Same time.

Please be careful.  

I love you.

E.C

My love. The same initials. He’s caught onto us. The very thing he tries very hard to avoid comes back to taunt at him. This letter unlocks new memories. Aesop remembers now that he was trying to run away, but from who? And why? Another pain strikes his head like a bang. As if a wooden bat struck on his head with a hard swing. He winces, groaning loudly before falling on his knees and--

--his heart’s beating fast seeing the words on the letter. He’s caught onto them, as it says on the paper. He’s been careful so far, how could he possibly figure it out? Aesop’s grip on the letter tightens, gripping hard causing it to crumble slightly. He pleads silently that nothing would come to harm his lover.

He reaches to his neck, looking down at the ring hanging on the chains. Their names carved onto the surface. AEC. They’d be together, no matter what.

He looks down at the lifeless body of a client before him. A pale body spread across the metal bed, covered in a thin white sheet. He fears for the worst, and he can’t brush it off of his mind.

The metal doors to his office swings open. A loud slam. A shadow of the figure appears on the ground, in the shape of a silhouette. His sense of fear begins to overwhelm his senses when the figure approaches. Each step echo through the room, like the sound of impending doom making itself known. And he knows. He’s more than aware.

Aesop wakes up coughing out the sudden tightness that has put him on hold. The split in his head is unbearable. A distinct feeling of his head being patched together as if things are beginning to make sense. In the most painful way possible. Another memory.

He needs to find Eli.

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Doyoung, Jaehyun & Jungwoo’s interview with GQ Korea April 2020 issue!

Doyoung

You're wearing a hoodie with a bear on it and a denim jacket. It's the kind of style I normally like too. I enjoy wearing casual and everyday clothes that aren’t particularly in fashion.

What color stands out the most in your closet? sky blue, blue and cold tones are colors I have the most shirts in. Simple shirts that don't stick to your body.

What color shows your taste in music? Can you name a specific record? '추억은 사랑을 닮아 (Memories Resemble Love)', a song on Park Hyoshin's 5th album. It's a different kind of music from what NCT has shown. I think I'm able to do experimental music and music that stands out thanks to the members. I'm doing music I can't do by myself to my heart's content.

Even when you take a blind test you'd be able to guess it's Doyoung's voice because of the clear tone and aesthetics it has. I first started singing in middle school. Audition programs were very popular at the time, and it was the era where unique vocalists began to draw attention. Because I also wanted to make singing my job, I thought I had to find my own color without any bias. 

Do you know your own strengths as a vocalist? My mom sometimes jokingly says "who gave birth to such a pretty voice?". I think the biggest advantage is that it has a tone that can blend well into the various genres like Hip-Hop, R&B, and EMD pop that NCT's music has.

When you were performing 'BOSS' a video clip of you raising the two octaves up to three octaves became a big topic. Are you the type that isn't afraid to sing high notes? To tell you the behind story, that range was a bit more comfortable. I prepared in advance to get myself comfortable and to be able to scream as much as I want. At that time, I wanted to be a strong team during live performances, so all the members spent a lot of time practicing like it was a real battle.

NCT 127's second full-length album is just three days away. During these times, what do the members talk about? "Now, now, let's start practicing the choreography for the 100 million views in a week music video", "Practice for the no.1 song on music shows choreography starts now." (laughs) We have a job where we have to prepare something for a long time and then show it all in a moment. If you think too much about the success that is possible, you have no choice but to be focused. These days, as time goes by, I try not to cling too much to that. It is more important to make an album that we can be satisfied with now.

The title song 'Kick It' has impressive dance moves that are inspired by oriental martial arts. We worked together with a martial arts director to shoot the music video. Each member had their own action scene, but everyone was spinning and flying as the camera started spinning. It was amazing. Everyone was so good to the point you would doubt we had just started learning it. I was a bit worried because I'm not the type to be confident in using my body. I was changing my clothes after we were done and while I was wondering how the shoot would end up, I saw that my hands were all cracked. I told myself I had worked hard.

You seem like a person who gives 200% in a moment of crisis. In the variety show <The Law of the Jungle> you jumped into the sea at night without a doubt. I'm the type to do something properly if you're gonna do something careless. I think I didn't want to make it an embarrassing moment. When I jumped into the sea, I was really afraid.  Nevertheless, the reason I did it without fear was because I felt like I had to do something because I had come a long way.

Who is like a hero to Doyoung? You might think it's a boring answer, but it's the staff who help us and the fans. I released this recently. After we finished recording late a night I coincidentally had a look around the office. Even at that late hour, there were so many familiar faces. Many thoughts crossed my mind at that time.

Jaehyun

What do you think of the moment you wake up in the morning? 'It's already morning. I have to wash up.' An ordinary routine.

Do you like velvet? My attention was grasped by velvet training pants the moment I entered the studio earlier. I've been wearing velvet outfits on stage and I've been told that it matches me well. Since then, I started wearing it often with confidence.

You wear a lot of various clothes, like in today's photoshoot too, but what do you think shows your charms best? It feels good when I wear a suit. There was also this techwear look from the music video 'Let's Shut Up & Dance' when we worked with Jason Derulo. I like that too.

Have you thought about what you'd like to do if you could make a transformation? I have wanted to grow my hair long since last year. Growing it to the bottom of your ear and then tucking it behind, I thought it looked cool when I saw past pictures of Leonardo Dicaprio or of the hairstyles of Timothée Chalamet.

Do you have something like that? An aura you really want to have. There are people who look simple in ordinary life, but who look professional when they do their job. You can feel their skills. I want to be like that.

It feels just right looking at NCT's perfect stages. What's the highlight of the performance this time? Since debut, we’ve said NCT's style is 'NEO'. We try hard to reach that level every time. For the title song 'Kick It', the music, choreography, and outfits are very conceptual. There are also moves that are reminiscent of Bruce Lee's martial arts. I think our team's synergy definitely comes out when we have new and unique concepts.

This 2nd full album has 13 songs of various genres. Which song do you like most? The is an R&B ballad song titled 'White Night'. It started with the lyrics "it’s quietly getting darker". I was in charge of the first line, and I was focused on the details such as emotions, beat, and pitch. I recorded the "quietly" part several times. I have some attachments to it.

The soft bass tone seems to be Jaehyun's color of voice. I care a lot about tone and emotion, but interestingly, the tone of my voice has become lower than when I debuted. There's a part in me that wants to show myself more by signing than by dancing. From the start, I have received a lot of stress from singing, but as much as that, I also received a sense of fulfillment. I want to continue doing well.

What song would you recommend to someone who wants to hear Jaehyun's voice? 'Coming home', a song that was released last winter. It's a calm song centered on vocals that I sung with Taeil-hyung, Doyoung-hyung and Haechanie.

You said before you like your hands because they are pretty, right? Seeing them myself, I can agree. What do you want to achieve with those hands? I've been playing the piano for a long time, but I want to improve my skills. I feel at ease when I play the piano. And I'm the type to do anything well that requires my hands, the members sometimes call me 'golden hands'. I hope I can do well in anything.

Is there something you're the best at in the team? I'm confident in running. Since I was a kid, I loved sports so much that being an athlete was also a dream of mine. So when it comes to sports, I'm the.... Hahaha

I heard you watch movies when you want to relax. Is there anything you have been enjoying lately? I watched <Baby Driver> again yesterday. I've seen it three times, but the scenes and the music match perfectly, so I get excited every time I see it. I saw <Before Sunrise> several times too.

Do you also look up old stage videos or music videos? I sometimes do, but once I start watching the music videos starting from our debut song 'the 7th sense' to the latest, I will get hooked on it. When I just debuted I was still fresh but also a bit stiff. I also have memories of the Mickey Mouse 90th Anniversary Concert which was broadcasted by ABC in America. During the first tour of North America last year, I developed an aspiration for languages. When I was young, I lived in America for a while and learned some English, which has helped me and I saw how having [language] skills are a benefit.

This album starts with the song 'Elevator'. Where do you want to go up with NCT? As far as we can go.

Jungwoo

I've seen lots of pictures of Jungwoo wearing a fanny pack. Backpacks are big and uncomfortable so I only carry what I need in my fanny pack.

What does it usually carry? Contact lenses, eye drops, nail clipper, masks, bands, and ointments. Eye drops are an essential. My eyes become tired [/dry] when I wear lenses for a long time.

What is the style Jungwoo likes to wear? First of all, it should be comfortable. I usually wear training clothes and I'm often told that NormCore clothes look good on me, so I try to wear items that don't stand out too much. I think flashy things don't really suit me. 

What? No matter how you look at it, you wore fancy and bold clothes today. It’s also curious to me. I like to challenge myself to wear different kinds of styles.

What is the image you try to have? I want to have a dreamy and bright atmosphere. I hope that when people see me they are fascinated and are curious about me.

What kind of person for you think is really cool? Justin Bieber. His style and music have his own unique color. Not only me, but all the members are fans too. I saw Justin Bieber's YouTube documentary yesterday. Besides the external stories, seeing him overcome the agony and growing pains of being an artist, made me like him even more.

What is something surprising about Jungwoo? That I'm purely a hard worker. I don't think I have many talents I was born with. I'm more like someone who will achieve results as much as I worked for it. So I put a lot of effort into anything I want to do.

Is anything possible if you just try hard? Looking at NCT's stages, I think there's more to it than just effort. I often look at others to find out how they do it. When we had a stage on the famous American talk show <Jimmy Kimel Live>, I was able to see and analyze the other stages that were on the program. The ways to walk with the camera and how it appears on the screen. So like that, I learn a lot.

Jungwoo has a very clean and impressive voice, but we heard you passed the audition by dancing. This is also kinda surprising [a twist]. When I was in elementary school, I watched the music shows and became interesting in dancing. But later, when I was recording, the music director told me I had a fascinating charm to my voice since he couldn't really tell if I was singing in falsetto or not. After hearing that, I decided to I should develop my voice into a good one and use it as an advantage to show myself.

What is your favorite track in this album? There is this song called 'Pandora's Box' and when I first heard the guide version, the lyrics 'remember this moment, us, our moment' really stood out to me. I imagined how it would be like if we would sing this with the fans at a concert, and I thought it would really turn out great.

When was the most miraculous moment in your life? When I joined NCT. It felt like a dream. I cried a lot when I came down after finishing my debut stage on the music show. I was happy but also felt regret. I remember the members encouraging me by saying "it's okay, you did well".

What do you think is your role in the team? No matter how, I seem to be the mood maker. I make a lot of jokes. If there would be 100 people, all 100 would be laughing. My humor level seems to match well with Doyoung-hyung especially.

The other members say Jungwoo hasn't shown his full potential yet, they say you have a lot of various sides. I think it can also mean that it's still unclear what I will do next. I often hear that I'm pretty unique. Could you say I'm 8D? (laughs) I too, don't know fully yet who I am.

Do you like that personality? There's only one my in this world. I want the person named Jungwoo to become a new genre. New, unique. In order to do that, I have to accept what I have and work hard to show the charms of it. 

Translation: Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Grazia Scan — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[imalifegen89]

A Legacy Left Behind - Chapter - 5 - The Gemmond Incident

Part 5 - Final

Stargate Command, Cheyenne Mountain - Colorado

As promised, Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell had shown up with SG-1, which had included himself, Teal'c, Vala Mal Doran, and Dr. Daniel Jackson. Sam Carter had not been available since she had been called away to the Daedalus for an urgent matter. Dr. Rodney McKay and Dr. Radek Zelenka had both shown up in her place to specifically study the two downed crafts and find a solution to free the trapped Gemmondians. SG-3, SG-8, and SG-9 had accompanied the Colonel in order to disperse around the city and help with the clean-up and whatever other tasks the citizens were in need of help with. Dr. Sandy Van Denson and Dr. Ian Carmichael along with three other medical staff had also shown up, bringing along the promised medical assistance for the traumatized Gemmondians.

Sheppard and the team had been upgraded to local celebrity levels and almost all of the people there in the city had wanted to catch a glimpse of the Tau'ri who had managed to successfully wipe out the Wraith. The locals had insisted on the feast they had somehow managed to prepare despite everything and made the SG-11 the guests of honor. The team had stayed for a few minutes, enjoyed a few local cuisines, and taken their leave in quiet relief when Mitchell and the other teams had finally shown up to take over.

..........

"Fucking hell! Hearing about all this crap in the briefing and looking at nasty photos is one thing. But this, man - this is something else." Danny's voice was equal parts awe, fear, and incredulity.

"So, this telepathic attack basically had a domino effect on these creatures. Powerful as they are when they are mentally connected to each other, it can also be a major weakness. Too bad only the ATA gene carriers have this ability," Adam Noshimuri sounded wistful. He was fascinated by the footage they were all now going through of the day's operation.

SEALs always went on ops with recording apparatus as a part of their standard kit. SG-11 had permission to keep this particular Special-Operator-trait for their operations, in keeping with the Navy standards, and it came in handy. They could always study the ops footage later to get more information and also it could be used to educate other teams whenever they went through something like this. Only a few of the team had body cams that day since they had been going to a party. But they had managed to team up to maximize the coverage and now they had mostly complete footage of the entire operation.

They had all gone for their post-Gate-Hop medical checkups once they had returned to the mountain. As promised, Colonel Mitchell had retrieved the rest of the SG-11 from the village near the jungle and they had returned to the mountain about 20 minutes later. They all had reunited in the infirmary during their medical checkups. Sheppard, Lorne, and Danny had garnered extra attention - the first two because of their dealings with the Wraith and Danny for getting partially stunned. But they had all been cleared without needing to spend the day in the infirmary once the doctors had been satisfied. They had all had early dinners in the mess hall and the two pilots had retired to the quarters since they had both been still suffering from headaches. The rest of the team had gathered in one of the smaller recreational rooms to go through the footage and get their AARs (After Action Reports) done for the debriefing the next day. They had already gone through the cam feeds from Steve, Bates, and Vega and now knew what each team had faced. They had exchanged praises, criticisms, and good-natured ribbing while watching different areas of footage with fascination. Now they were all at the part from the cam Lorne had been wearing.

"Yeah, that's the thing. These guys are rare enough as it is. When the Wraith find out about this, they’re going to start hunting them. The gene carriers are a real threat to Wraith. All they have to do is ask the Goa'uld to take care of the gene carriers while they deal with the non-gene carriers. We’re going to have to try and keep this stuff under wraps as long as we can," said Vega, after they had all finished watching the feed.

"Keep what under wraps?" asked Sheppard at the end of a huge yawn. He was leaning against the door of the rec room and was wearing a black t-shirt, loose sweats, and a pair of slippers. He still looked half asleep and Steve wondered what had made the man wake up and come looking for them.

"Ah, sleeping beauty, come take a seat. We were just talking about your horror show," said Danny, with his usual lack of tact.

They were using the TV screen in the room to watch the feeds and a few laptops and PDAs were scattered on the stool in front of them. Steve, Adam, and Kono were sitting on the long couch, Danny, Bates, and Vega had claimed sofas and Cadman was settled between Higgins' stretched-out legs on the floor. Sheppard pushed off from the door frame and walked into the room eyeing the seating arrangement. Then he huffed and went to settle on Steve's lap, who let out a quiet laugh and moved to accommodate the burden. John wriggled and shifted until he was sitting comfortably, resting sideways on Steve's chest with his head on Steve's shoulder, and let his long legs dangle off the armrest of their side of the couch. Steve wrapped his arms around the sleep-warmed body on his lap and closed his eyes. Then John looked at Danny expectantly. Danny keyed a few commands on the laptop closest to him and started the feed from Lorne's cam for John to have a look.

Steve felt him tensing up the moment John saw himself on the screen. It occurred to Steve then, that this was the first time John had seen himself going through the 'online experience.' The other time he had been alone and when he was discovered, he was already back to normal. Steve rubbed his back, offering silent comfort.

"Wow! That's... um... disturbing. My eyes - they look creepy - I look creepy..." said John. He was thoroughly disturbed at witnessing his physical transformation.

"I don't know brah, I was once involved in a raid at a meth factory. I've seen creepier-looking dudes running around, believe me," said Kono matter-of-factly from the middle of the sofa.

"And I know for a fact that you are a complete lunatic. One, because I've seen you fly and have had the misfortune to fly with you several times. Two, you are dating the other lunatic you are sitting on. So this little drama is nothing. I wasn't even that surprised," said Danny, his hand slicing away at the space in front of him, emphasizing his point. John and Steve both sent identical glares at Danny who just upped the wattage of his shit-eating grin.

John could clearly see the easy acceptance from his team of his rather weird ability, and That made it much easier for him to accept the fact himself. (He did remember how Lorne had looked during the change. Okay - he had looked like he was high on something - but not a full-on-mutant like John, though.)

"So the point we were discussing was, to keep this bit of intel from falling into the claws of the Wraith because that would lead to those fuckers declaring open-season on gene-carriers," said Bates, with a grimace. The others nodded in response.

"Dr. Carson is working on artificial gene therapy. He says his serum would have a 75% chance at activating junk DNA in a non-gene carrier to become ATA positive. I actually helped him to find some information he needed from the Alteran archives back in Antarctica. The way things are going, we are going to need him to deliver soon, so that we'll have enough people to deal with these assholes," said John thoughtfully, his mind drifting back to discussions he had with the Scottish doctor during his visits to the Defense Outpost in Antarctica.

"Yeah, and let's not forget the Snake-Heads. At least we have some sort of warning system against the Wraith. But the Goa'uld - do we even have a way of identifying them in advance?” The question was from Steve. he still had his eyes closed, enjoying the proximity to John.

"There are some medical scans that can spot them. Other than that, the Jaffa and some of the previous hosts, like Vala and Carter can sense them. Of course, the Tok'ra would know. But that's about it I think," said Cadman, remembering the facts from Daniel Jackson's lectures.

"Yeah, they've been quiet enough on earth for what, closer to two months now? But busy stirring trouble in other worlds? Whatever they are planning, we are not going to like it much when it happens. I really can do without these times of suspense, you know?" said Vega.

"I know it's tempting fate, but I do agree. By the way, did you guys hear? The word is, that the big boss is going to show up tomorrow. Probably for our briefing. He usually shows up when things are really going to get sent up the creek without paddles," informed Cadman conspiratorially.

"What big boss?" asked Sheppard at the same time Steve asked, "Where do you even hear this stuff from anyway, hah?"

"Oh, I've got my sources, Mr. Major, Mr. Lieutenant Commander," said Cadman, grinning from ear to ear.

"Awesome. Better get our paperwork and shit together then, yeah?" suggested Bates and grabbed the PDA closest to him.

Sheppard slid off the comfortable lap he was sitting on and settled on the floor between the Commander’s legs, then grabbed two PDAs - one for himself and one for Steve. They all then got busy with their respective reports on the day's events.

..........

Early next morning, Sheppard was sitting inside the Jumper helping the Air Force Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter to extract the data pertaining to their jaunt in Gemmond. He was transferring the flight records, blueprints of the Darts and Wraith Dart Carrier, all details about hull compositions, weapons, and other data, the scans and the footage the Jumper had managed to capture to Carter's PDA. When the data transfer finished, Samantha Carter went away, letting Sheppard know that they'd be called in for the debrief later on.

He knew that Kono and Steve had also prepared a comprehensible version from all the cam feeds they had on themselves during the mission as well. They had all submitted their detailed AARs to the SGC server already and were now waiting to be called to the briefing room for a Q&A session with the General and whoever else was present.

The summons came via Sergeant Harriman who came to fetch the SG-11 team leaders, Sheppard and McGarrett, into the main Briefing Room just after breakfast.

Briefing Room, SGC, Cheyenne Mountain - Colorado

Entering the Briefing Room, Sheppard experienced a feeling of déjà vu, since the atmosphere held the same intensity as his first briefing at the same place, several weeks ago.

This time there were more participants. Even in his BDUs, the bald Major General had an imposing presence. Brigadier General Jack O'Neill was sitting to his right and Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell was to his left. Next to O'Neill were Dr. Daniel Jackson and Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter with Teal'c sitting beside Mitchell. Dr. Rodney McKay was also present, busily typing on the laptop in front of him while munching on what looked like a blueberry muffin. Dr. Zelenka was sitting next to him trying hard to look like he had absolutely no association with McKay. SG-11 leaders had the seats on the opposite side of the big conference table, facing everyone, completing the assembly. There were two projector screens, on opposite sides, so no one had to twist their necks to see the feeds or any other data that was projected onto the screens. They also had their own PDAs or laptops with them, so they had ready access to anything they needed at any moment.

"General, you wanted to meet the trouble magnets. Well, here they are. The team leaders of SG-11." General O'Neill made an unorthodox introduction as they both entered the room and gathered in front of the conference table.

"You shouldn't complain much O'Neill, when you were the one who was bugging me for a group of special operators in your ranks. Now you've got some, and if they’re bringing extra workload for you, well, you've got no one else to blame," said General Hammond pleasantly.

"You know, it was more like Marshall's wish, come to think of it," O'Neill informed General Hammond. Colonel Marshall Sumner who was at the Earth Alpha site on an inspection, was not there to defend himself.

General Hammond shook his head in amusement, already much used to General O'Neill's eccentric ways, and turned to address SG-11." Anyway, gentlemen, it's a pleasure to finally meet you two. I have seen your personal files and the files of everyone in your team, of course, but I always like to meet trouble magnets in person, whenever I can manage. Please sit and make yourselves comfortable. We’re going to be here for a while," he informed the Major and the Lt. Commander.

"Major Sheppard, if you can please give a brief report of what took place in Gemmond?" he looked to Sheppard once they were seated.

Sheppard recounted the mission as ordered. He started from the point where they had to force the connection to Gemmond via the Jumper's DHD and detailed their entry to the hot zone. Then he briefly described the recon they conducted and the subsequent entry to the Wraith Carrier. Then he recounted the rescue operations and the entanglement with Wraith. He then summarized blowing up the ship, how they split up to accompany the Gemmondians and how the rest of them returned to the gate to report back to SGC, followed by the handover to Lt. Colonel Mitchell who showed up to take over the clean up. Once he finished, General Hammond turned to Mitchell.

"Lt. Colonel Mitchell, will you tell us what happened next?"

"Yes Sir. I went to Gemmond with SG-1, SG-3, SG-8, and SG-9. SG-3 was sent with the medical staff to the city to provide medical help and SG-8 went with them to help with the clean-up. I dropped off the Doctors McKay and Zelenka at the Dart crash sites along with Teal'c and SG-9 and took the Jumper to orbit to run a scan in near space. There were no other Wraith Spaceships in the vicinity. Then I returned to the city and stayed there to coordinate with the city council. I also spoke to some of those travelers who were taking refuge in Gemmond. They were from Holdus, Aegis, some even from Charos. They all had similar stories about this 'Culling', as they called it. It seems that this started about two weeks ago and there seem to be few other worlds targeted as well. So far they've been avoiding the technologically advanced planets though," continued Mitchell. "Then I took a trip to the village near the jungle where the rescued Gemmondians gathered with a couple of medical staff. They were all okay and being taken care of by the Nasyans. We spent the whole day in the city and the clean-up was rather quick, seeing as SG-11 got there pretty quickly and the Wraith didn't have much time for a larger attack. Then I collected the Doctors from where they were camping near crash sites and returned to the mountain for the debrief."

The General then turned his attention towards the two scientists;

"So Dr. McKay, Dr. Zelenka - any luck extracting the people stuck in those Darts?" he asked.

"Hmm, we've scanned those two Wraith Darts and found a way to connect with their interfaces. Basically, we’ve gone over the controls that dematerialize people, store their information, and then rematerialize them again when commanded to. It's a very complex process and requires a lot of power. Now, the Dart I scanned has five life signs and Radek's one has eight life signs. But according to the power readings we've got, those darts don't have enough power to rematerialize people on their own. But we can hook up a Naquadah generator into each of them and give a bit of extra oomph to restart the controls and activate the beam. Sort of like jump-starting a car battery." Rodney looked quite proud at having managed a properly dumbed-down report for the academically challenged.

"Ano, Rodney, we discussed this. There is a chance that those generators might not be the best way to restart those controls. You mustn't forget the biological components in those Darts - they are not like normal batteries that we can jump-start." Dr. Radek Zelenka pushed his spectacles further up his nose and reminded Rodney.

"I know, but if we regulate the levels and write a subroutine to abort if it gets over the power levels we need, it'd be fine." Rodney turned to face the Czech scientist and gestured with his muffin.

"A subroutine that we need to translate to match the coding on the interface. Yes, yes! It might work. But then we need..." Zelenka had already started typing something fast and McKay was leaning over to watch his screen.

"Ah, wait, there," he interrupted and the Czech said something unintelligible in his own language, still typing away. Now Rodney had abandoned his muffin and was also busy on his PDA while talking to Zelenka about code.

The two scientists had forgotten about the rest of the assembly and were completely immersed in their planning, typing, and conversing in increasingly complex scientific jargon. General Hammond let it continue for a while and then decided to interrupt when the scientists showed no signs of returning to the briefing. Out of all of them, only Carter seemed to be able to follow the dialog between them with an amused look on her face.

"As riveting as it is to be listening to you two gentlemen, can you please tell us whether this venture is possible or not? We really don't need to know the exact process," Hammond asked them both with great patience.

"Yes, General. We can do this. Maybe by tomorrow evening, we should be done. We will need a Naquadah generator though," said McKay, without looking up or without stopping his typing.

"Jack, can you accommodate that?" asked the Major General.

"Yeah, I'm sure we have one or two of those lying around here, somewhere," General Jack O'Neil replied, looking pointedly at Sergeant Harriman who confirmed with a firm nod.

"Well, then," started General Hammond, but was interrupted by Dr. Zelenka. "Can we be excused? We need to clean this up and get a proper program before we need to return to the planet."

"Yes, please. You may both take your leaves, doctors." A rather relieved General excused the pair without further delay. They both got up with their PDAs and left the room, bickering about the code and power levels.

"Commander, I was informed you have the footage of the entire operation?" he then inquired of McGarrett, who confirmed. "Now, Jack, I think this is something we should get all our Gate teams to start practicing. There is always one team or another who runs into something unexpected whenever they conduct Gate operations." He turned to the General.

"Yeah, I agree. But there is a concern, you know? What with the IOA and all their crap about respecting the privacy of the natives and such. SG-11 has a bit of leeway on this because they are a joint ops team and we had agreed to keep up their SEAL standards. So all their Gate missions go under Special-Operations per that agreement with the Navy. I think it's about time we took a long hard look at those pesky civilian regulations, especially since it's starting to look like trouble's brewing," said Jack O'Neill, for once looking completely serious.

"Hmm, I have a meeting with the IOA in a few days. I'll speak to the President as well before I meet with them. The chances are that we are going to have to raise the threat levels and will have to change some protocols accordingly, very soon," replied the General. He was already thinking about reaching out to the other races with advanced technologies and capabilities the earth had connections with; about this latest threat and ways to defend against it.

He then turned to Samantha Carter. "Carter, I'd like to review that footage now please."

Lt. Colonel Carter projected the video onto the screens on either side while Harriman dimmed the lights in the conference room. For the next 90 minutes or so, the entire conference room was quiet except for the sounds coming from the footage of the mission.

General O'Neill took it upon himself to break the thick silence that had descended in the Briefing Room at the end of the mission footage. "You know, I remember I sent SG-6 last year to Gemmond for the harvest celebrations. They brought back cake - really nice cake - and even nicer wine," he said wistfully, and then turned to where Sergeant Harriman was seated. "Walter, remind me next year when the time comes around, yeah?"

"Of course, General," the Sergeant replied with an equally serious air.

"That was an excellent bit of soldiering. My compliments to your team. Well done." General Hammond said. He was extremely impressed with the way the team handled the situation. He had harbored some concerns about how well they could mesh a SEAL team with an SGC team and this incident proved that it could be done quite seamlessly. He could see that each and every member brought a unique and impressive skill set to the team.

"Jack, I need a copy of this footage and all other data collected in a summarized report so I can present this to the president and the IOA. I might call an extra-planetary meeting to discuss this too. So be ready. And keep me posted if you get news from other planets on any encounters like this," He informed O'Neill. "So far, is there anything on the surveillance on those satellites and the Goa'uld activity?" he inquired.

"Nothing, but I believe this explains why they are waiting for the Wraith to stock up on supplies before starting whatever they are planning on. I have a feeling this might include an armada or two of alien fleets by the way things are going," said Jack O'Neill thoughtfully.

"The work on Prometheus is nearly completed. She will undergo her space trials in the next month, bringing our fleet to six. We shall see if we can persuade our allies to contribute as well. This information might just be what we need to apply that persuasion," General Hammond reflected. "All right people, thank you for your time. I will be in touch." He stood up, bringing the briefing to an end.

With that, everyone stood up as General George Hammond took his leave.

..........

It had been two days since the meeting with Major General George Hammond and SG-11 had just returned from a training session at the Alpha site, off-world. They had completed the medical checkups, cleaned themselves up, and were seated around a long table enjoying their dinner in the mess hall when Steve's phone started ringing.

The call came from a landline bearing a Hawaiian prefix. "Is this Mr. Steven McGarrett?" The voice was female. Steve winced at the 'Mr.' involuntarily, not used to being addressed as such.

"Yes, that's me. Who is this?" he asked.

"Sir, my name is Diana Curtis and I'm calling from Honolulu General Hospital. You’re listed as the next of kin for Captain John McGarrett. He was admitted to the hospital yesterday when he suffered a heart attack. Sir, his condition is stable for now. But we'd like you to be here and visit him if it is at all possible?” The professional no-nonsense voice delivered the news in such a calm manner, it took Steve a few seconds to register what the woman was saying and the seriousness of the situation.

"WHAT?" he barked into the phone, when he had recovered from the shock. The team sitting around him all stopped what they were doing and stared at Steve.

"Mr. McGarrett, please calm down. Your father's condition is stable for the moment. He was brought to the hospital on time. Are you able to make it here safely as soon as possible? Is there anyone who could bring you here?" The hospital admin on the line tried to placate the very agitated SEAL.

"Uh? Yes, yes. I'm not in Hawaii at the moment. But yes, I'll be there as soon as I can. Thank you for calling and letting me know," Steve collected himself enough to reply. His mind was still reeling at the shocking news he had just received. He had called his old man only two days ago and he had sounded fine on the phone - even happier at the fact that Steve was stationed somewhere in the mainland and could call home more or less on a regular basis.

"You’re welcome sir," the voice said crisply and disconnected the call. Steve stared at the phone in his hand dumbly, his mind refusing to cooperate and start being useful for the moment.

"Steve, what was that all about?" The touch on his arm and the concerned face of John - which was quite close to his - brought him back from the stupor he had got lost in. Steve stared at him for a moment and then found the words to reply.

"That was the Honolulu General. My dad, he's in the hospital, he had a heart attack," Steve said in a dull tone, still not able to believe that it was real. He felt John's grip tighten around his arm at the revelation.

"What? When? How?" Questions bombarded him incredulously. Steve took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to bring his turbulent mind into some semblance of control and deal with the situation.

"I don't know, but I need to go there now," he said decisively, standing up.

"Hey, Steve, hey, they didn't say it's bad, did they? Just don't go by yourself." John was also standing with him and he realized John was holding him by the shoulders, shaking him slightly. He grabbed onto John automatically, his presence so close to him, helping Steve to ground himself. He concentrated on what John was saying to him and could hear the regret in his voice at not being able to go with Steve. They were the team leaders of SG-11 and one had to be at the mountain if the other was going to be unavailable.

"Don't worry man, I'll go with him," Danny was also standing up and looking worried. He also looked determined to follow the SEAL home no matter what Steve had to say about it.

"I need to go pack a bag, and yeah, Danny, you can come with," said Steve, starting to mentally list the things he needed to do in order to get moving.

"I'll help," Kono volunteered.

"Let me talk to Walter and contact Peterson AFB - there might be a transport or something going that way. It'd be quicker," Sheppard suggested, and was already moving towards the elevator to go to level 27. "I'll come back and see you in your quarters," he threw back over his shoulder as he entered the elevator.

"Shit, I need to apply for leave," said Steve, watching John disappear into the lift.

"Don't stress Commander, we'll take care of it." Bates patted him on the back and Cadman nodded along. "We will apply on behalf of you two. This is an emergency. So it'll be fine," said Vega. Then she and Bates both took off towards the HR offices to handle the paperwork for their Commander's emergency leave.

"Thanks, guys," Steve shouted after them. And then he hurried towards his own quarters with the rest of his team tagging along. He already had a duffel packed for emergencies and only needed to add a few more things. He tried calling his dad’s friend but the call went to voicemail. He figured that he could try contacting them once he reached the hospital. He wouldn't even think about calling his sister until he had the chance to see his father and knew more about his condition.

..........

Within 20 minutes, Steve and Danny were both waiting by the exit at Cheyenne mountain for the vehicle that had been signed off for them to be delivered to Peterson AFB. Walter had made the arrangements. There was an army cargo plane making a training run to Hickam and he had managed to arrange transport for the two SEALs with it. They'd make their own way back after the visit to the hospital.

"Steve, listen, it's gonna be alright. You hear me? It'll be fine! Your dad's a tough guy, he'll be fine." Sheppard was holding his face in his hands and Steve found himself nodding along to the assurances pouring out of his boyfriend. Then John kissed him softly on the lips and Steve sighed, leaning into the comfort. He rested his forehead on John's and wished with all his heart to wake up and realize that this was all just a bad dream.

"And don't forget to call, yeah?" John implored as he straightened and very reluctantly let go of Steve.

"Sure John, I'll call," He promised as the SUV came to a stop in front of them. He and Danny both got in and seated themselves. He then gave a short wave to John who was still standing there by the exit watching them leave. Steve hoped what John had told him would be true, that his dad would be able to make it through. He was not ready to lose his only remaining parent. ‘God please, not again! Not so soon...' His mind was repeating the mantra as Steve let out a weary sigh and closed his eyes.