#jumping out of the hangvan junior year

[embraceweird]

Sometimes the story the dice want to tell is incredibly funny.

Despite being incredibly dexterous Fabian has failed basic dex checks so many times!!!!

[citrina-posts]

god fabian flirting with his own reflection, jumping out the hangvan, immediately wiping out, narrowly missing getting crushed, and then acting like he did it all on purpose is perhaps the most on brand fabian aramais seacaster move possible. perfect start to junior year

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 1

We're SO Back

School is back in session y’all!!!!

Fantasy High has returned to us after a long break and I am thrilled to come out of my recapping hiatus to bring back the Report Card for Junior Year! You know I could let my favorite chaotic high schoolers go un-analyzed! 

This episode wastes no time in getting started so neither will I. Brennan makes what I think is a very strong narrative choice by starting us in media res at the end of a classic Bad Kids adventure. It is the summer between Sophomore and Junior Year and the party has spent the last four months hot on the trail of the dreaded Night Yorb.

We catch up to our Intrepid Heroes in the Red Waste and they’re trying to catch up to the Night Yorb which is a big, eldritch, manta ray like monster who threatens to plunge the entire world into darkness, creating a very slow (but still effective!) apocalypse! The Night Yorb is flanked by its groupies, made up of members of the many cults dedicated to it (collectively known as “Yorbies”).

As I said, the Bad Kids are hot on its trail, in (and on) the Hangvan. Gorgug (who has been leaning more into his Artificer vibes lately) has outfitted the top of the Hangvan with a solar lasso that can be used to capture and reel in the Night Yorb so that Fig and Adaine can defeat it with a magical sigil. I’m gonna quickly run down where everyone is and what they’re doing:

Adaine and Fig are both standing on top of the Hangvan in order to spring the sigil when the time comes. Adaine is also joined by Boggy and a new addition, Moggy the Doggy (aka, Mordekainen’s Faithful Hound), which is a very round, very cute, very invisible Pomeranian looking dog. 

Gorgug is also up top with them because he’s manning the solar lasso. 

Fabian is inside the Hangvan along with Baby (aka Wretchrot, aka Fig’s screeching blood imp who has no mechanical benefit unless she takes another level of Warlock as Brenan keeping reminding us) and Ecaf, a mirror with a sultry voice that Fabian is *heavily* flirting with, much to everyone’s discomfort. It’s tres Narcissus. (Also, ha, Face backwards. I see you Brennan).

Kristen is in the back with Fabian and Riz is driving, even though he is WAY too small to effectively be driving a Gorgug sized van. 

The Hangman–Fabian’s trusty motorcycle/hellhound–is out in front of the Hangvan.

Also Squeem is on the roof with the others! Beloved, fan favorite Squeem!

Yeah, so this episode does a thing of pretending like we’re jumping into the last episode of an arc that we’ve seen every episode of and introducing characters in a very Sam Reich, “He’s been there this whole time” way even though it’s their first appearance. I think it’s very funny and it reminds me of that Community episode where they’re all flashing back to episodes that never aired. But anyway, I mention this so that if I mention a name and you’re like “Whomst?” it’s probably just a bit, you’re not forgetting a major character.

Anyway, we’re joining this chase already in progress which means our kids are hurt and down spell slots but their opponents are as well. The distribution is pretty uneven–Adaine is way less hurt than Fabian and Kristen for instance, which honestly checks out (curious how they decided on that though). 

Because this episode is just one big battle sequence for the most part, I’m going to follow the precedent I set in the recaps for The Seven and just give the highlights in bullets and then do an analysis on where all the Bad Kids are right now at the end:

Murph comes in hot, using his first action of the new season to shoot his gun and doing 30 points of damage with a 27 to hit. New year, new Murph! 

Siobhan invokes the corn cuties debacle from fight one and all the falling off the tables that happened. Clearly, a bit of Adaine’s oracle energy is rubbing off on her because the next thing that happens in that Fabian decides to jump on top of the Hangvan to cast Faerie Fire on the Night Yorb (which has shrouded itself in magical darkness), rolls the first Nat 1 of the season, absolutely eats it, and gets run over by Riz–narrowly avoiding going down. He’s ultimately fine–The Hangman comes and picks him up–but it’s not a very auspicious star from Master Fabian. 

Emily and Murph have a cute moment of womping Brennan back to back by using Silvery Barbs to make him reroll two attacks on the Hangvan–one of which is a crit–and then giving each other the advantage on the next roll.

Kristen is a real pillar in this encounter–holding up the Circle of Power spell that allows her friends to ignore big chunks of damage that absolutely would have dropped them. But throughout the entire fight, her patron goddess, Cassandra, keeps trying to talk to her and Kristen keeps leaving her on read–we’ll get more into that in a bit. 

Adaine comes in clutch with a Nat 1 portent roll to stop the NIght Yorb from resisting Gorgug’s attempt to reel it in further. Truly, the best time to roll a Nat 1 in this game. Divination Wizards are awesome!

We learn that “Don’t Speak of the Night Yorb” is more than just a silly bit when Fig realizes that saying its name makes it heal up which isn’t great because they’ve been *very* cavalier about invoking its name. 

Squeem gets a big emotional goodbye with Gorgug on top of the Hangvan, heroically leaps off to fend off some Yorbies…and then rolls a 2 and totally faceplants. No! Squeem! Beloved fan favorite Squeem! They already had to revivify you once! 

On the Night Yorb’s turn, Brennan does an attack and shakes so many dice that it sounds like maracas. It’s 61 points of damage and squishy wizard Adaine goes down, but everyone else stays up–large in part due to Kristen’s aforementioned Circle of Power. (Siobhan, describing how bad her saving rolls were zings two separate friends saying, “It was Fabian level nasty. I fucking Murph’d it.”)

Luckily, Fig and Gorgug are up on the roof with Adaine so she does not go sliding off the van when she goes down. They catch her before she can fall. 

At this point the Van has sustained a lot of damage so Murph reminds the teacher that they have homework/Brennan that they have to roll for a mishap. That turns out to be the breaks blowing out. Now, all the Van can do is accelerate! It’s just like the movie Speed!

Two more characters who we totally know and have been here this whole time show up to help–Balthazar and Duggan McCann! A cool grizzled veteran and a centaur cowboy. Riz immediately starts doing cool guy banter with them because he’s somehow convinced them that he’s cool (which he is for the record, just in a completely different way lol). Unfortch, Baz almost right away gets eaten by the NIght Yorb. Who’s gonna take care of his litter (?) of parrots?????

 At this point in the fight, everyone gets a ping on their crystals, reminding them that school starts in three days. This stresses everyone out more than the fight that they’re currently in. 

Fig brings up Adaine with a Healing Word but she immediately has to do Wis save with the rest of the party. She and Fabian fail, but once again Fabian is saved by fear negating effects of his dad’s eyepatch. So Adaine starts to have a panic attack about the fact that she’s fighting the Night Yorb while standing on the roof of a moving vehicle which, real talk, very normal and valid reaction. In fact, probably concerning that she’s reached a point in her life where that *isn’t* the default reaction. 

The Hangvan is coming up on a jump it’ll have to make to continue following the Night Yorb (and it can’t even try to stop because the brakes are cut). Riz fails the roll which means that the van is probably going to fall on its side. Adding insult to injury, a pillar of rock falls and is going to crash into the van, doing even more major damage. 

Fig watches this, and almost dissociates, feeling the weight of the entire summer taken from them to do this quest. Feeling so so tired. Feeling the fact that even if they win, they’re just gonna have to go back to school and adventure some more. A piece of magic she’s been holding inside of for a long time flickers and she hears an enticing voice whisper in her ears. “If you would take me, you know what you would save.” She smells a sour, curdled scent and she knows that if she says yes, she can save her friends. Maybe there’s another way, but she just wants this to be over. “I’m yours,” Fig says. 

There’s a flash of “lemony, yellow, creamy” light (hmmmm) and the rock stops falling. The Hangvan starts righting itself.

And then there’s a sick gurgle from Fig’s stomach. 

Uh-oh, gang. 

For those of you who are new to these recaps, every week, I give one PC Detention and put one on the Honor Roll for their in-game actions. We’re starting off hot this semester with:

Detention 

Kristen Applebees for Being a BAD Friend to Cassandra 

Like, OK. Faith is complicated. Kristen’s relationship with religion is complicated. Being a cleric is complicated. But notice that I didn’t say being a bad *cleric*. I said being a bad *friend*. To be clear, she’s also being a bad cleric, and I’ll talk about that later. But having understandably conflicted views on religion doesn’t make sliding in your Fantasy Airpods while the being who is essentially a lonely teen girl and who is keeping you and all your friends alive tries to talk to you NOT seem like a giant dick move. Come on girl, get it together. 

Honor Roll

Brennan Lee Mulligan for Being a Great DM!

I realized as I was writing this that I’ve given Brennan Detention but never Honor Roll so he’s getting it today. It feels so good to have him back in the dome with the kids and he drew me back into the world, right away. I’m so psyched that we have a full season of this ahead of us! 

CHARACTER CHECK-INS

Like I said earlier, because this is the first episode back, I want to really quickly check in with all of the Bad Kids and where they are, character-wise. I’m going to do this roughly from least concerning to me to most concerning to me. 

-Adaine: Adaine seems like she’s living her best life. She has her frog! She has her dog! Her character art is so much more chill and she’s coming into her own. This season, I’m hoping we get to see more of her relationship with her sister (yes, I’m a predictable bitch. Sue me) and with Zayn (who is also living at Mordred in her tower) who I think has a lot of potential to be an interesting supporting character with more spotlight. But yeah, go Adaine! 

-Gorgug: Gorgug is making his parents proud (not that they ever weren’t) by taking another artificer level. He’s not a 7/3 Barb/Art split. I love that he’s gone from calling himself dumb to taking on this very technical skill. He also apparently has a homunculus? Fascinated to see what that looks like. 

-Riz: Now that his big investigation is over and he knows his dad is a cool secret agent, Riz has switched his subclass from Inquisitor to Arcane Trickster which means he’s got tons of gadgets and that he’s a ring guy now. Love that for him. He’s very much not a chill person though so I’m very curious to know what the next thing he’ll latch onto is. He the kind of guy who always need something going on, you know? 

-Fabian: Fabian is a fancy, dance boy now (6/4 Fighter/Bard)! But that doesn’t mean he’s any less athletic. I mean, have you ever seen a male ballerina? He still is, however, a total disaster. And I mean that affectionately. I mean, his current love interest (?) is a mirror that is showing a fuzzy reflection of his own face. My guy, what are you doing? Although I will say, idk if that’s more or less toxic than him dating Aelwyn. 

-Kristen: Kristen. GIRL. 

OK, so first of all. There is nothing inherently wrong with getting super jacked and like, respect. But in this context it feels like a red flag. Like the kind of thing you do because you’re on the rocks with your girlfriend or if you’ve recently broken up. I will be *very* interested to know what Tracker is up to as she’d not mentioned in this episode. Last we heard, she was out doing cleric stuff for the Moon Goddess, right? Long distance can be hell on a relationship. (Also, idk how seriously we’re supposed to take this but Ally mentioned the one shot it happened in in this episode so Kristen was also totally trying to flirt with a college girl in that college visit oneshot. Brennan shut it down pretty quick, but it very much did happen). 

Also, speaking of cleric stuff, Cass. I feel SO bad for Cass. Like, a god isn’t owed followers, but Kristen chose that role. She CHOSE it. This isn’t like a Helio situation. Cass wasn’t pushy. She specifically says in this episode that she doesn’t want to be pushy. Hell, she says in the episode where she’s introduced that if people don’t want her around she’ll go away. But Kristen chose to be her follower, knowing what the implications of being the sole follower of a goddess is. Cass is made in her image. That’s how deeply entwined they are. Her goddess is made in her image. In The Seven, we learn that Ost’s god hasn’t talked to anyone in years. Kristen has Cass coming in like a mom offering snacks mid battle and Kristen is leaving her on read! It’s honestly kinda hard to watch her be so blithely dismissive of someone so dependent on her even though it’s played off as kind of a joke. I felt like I was watching a loyal puppy get kicked every time they interacted. 

And like, I said this before, Cassandra is made in Kristen’s image. But specifically, she looks like Sophomore year Kristen. Still all skinny and still in her tie-die shirt and shorts. There is a definite vibe of almost wanting to kill the part of yourself that embarasses you, you know? It feels like she's being mean to Cass but also to herself. 

Also, mechanically speaking, it’s wild to be just ignoring the person you’re getting your powers from like this. Like, this is real Wizard behavior. You don’t have to answer to anyone if you studied for your magic but you absolutely do as a cleric. Does Kristen even want to be a cleric? It honestly doesn’t seem like it. She’s shown a pattern of behavior of chafing at every god put in her path, even the ones she literally made up. I thought Cass might be the end of her searching, but we’re right back on the Merry Go Round. The party absolutely needs a healer though so idk how she deals with that. 

I saw the snipped clip of Ally’s interview about Kristen’s arc this season involving what happens when chaos stops being cute, and I can def see seeds being planted. Fascinated to see how they explore that because this feels like a real ticking time bomb of a situation. 

Oh also, her Dex went DOWN????? GIRL!

Fig: I had a lot more to say about Kristen but Fig has to be last on the list for making a deal with a literal devil lol. Like, classic Fig though, right? This WOULD happen. Emily talked about potentially retiring Fig and getting reeled in by some enticing plot hook from Brennan and it feels like we might be about to find out what that is. I won’t speculate on it too much right now because we’re presumably about to find out but there were a LOT of yogurt themed adjectives when that magic activated which has me very split on whether this is about to be deeply concerning or deeply silly. Or both! It could be both! 

Random Thoughts

I LOVE that we have a proper theme song now. It feels so fitting and I love the opening art and it’s all so cool. The show’s so profesh now!

Also, shout out to @caitmayart for making the new art! It has the quality of a professional and the extra love of a fan. It’s my fave D20 official art so far. 

I don’t know when this feature was added but I love that there is a full transcript you can pull up and search and jump to that time in the video now. That’s gonna be SO useful for me. 

One of my favorite things about Adaine is that she’s generally polite but occasionally she’ll just absolutely verbally decimate someone so casually and this episode she said to the Solesian Yorbie they encountered, “What movie theater were you assistant managing before you decided to become a Yorbie?” Brutal. 

Also love how vehement she was about the fact that Brennan couldn’t touch Moggy, even when she went down. You are absolutely NOT gonna kill that dog Brennan.  

“Object interaction, touch Gorgug’s foot.”

Fig asks Gorgug how they can heal a van and he says, “Take it to a shop for 3-4 days.” Zac, underrated comic genius. 

I really can’t overstate how funny it is that Fabian spends most of this episode flirting with his own reflection. I’ve said this many times but something I love about Lou is that he’s not afraid to make Fabian deeply uncool, even though Fabian’s whole thing is being as cool as possible. 

Kristen says she needs to have an intense conversation with Cassandra when the fight is over and what does that mean? Like a breakup conversation? Which I guess would kill her because then she’d have no followers again? I am, como se dice, concerned. 

Also, just looking ahead, Tracker is also a cleric. A pretty faithful one from what I can tell. I have to wonder what her take on Kristen completely neglecting her goddess and church is. 

I think it’s so funny that Emily was thinking about retiring Fig so she could just ride off into the sunset with her cool rockstar life and awesome girlfriend because Riz’s big thing last year was being worried all his friend would pair up and leave him so for him to accept it and then have his fears validated right away would be like, welp. 

At a certain point, Murph has to roll damage and he rolls 45 out of a possible 50 damage. That’s crazy. Let’s see how long that luck holds.

[jadelion]

I need to know that you're ok

This is my first fanfic, I hope you like it.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53663482

1849 words

Adaine x Fabian

Mostly fluff and a bit of hurt/comfort

Summary: Fabian doesn't want to go home, Adaine wants to help him

(Junior Year spoilers)

"You guys wanna go to Basrar's?" Fabian asked, as nonchalantly as possible.

It was the end of their first week back at school and Seacaster Manor had only felt lonelier day by day. He didn't want to make it obvious, but going back to that empty home was something Fabian desperately wanted to avoid.

Fig was the first to respond, “Sure, I got nothing else to do!”

Each of the others responded in turn, until it came to Adaine. She paused for a moment, knowing that they all did in fact have quite a lot of work to do. However, as she looked at Fabian she saw something in his eyes that convinced her to agree.

As they all climbed into the Hangvan, Adaine sat next to Fabian. She bumped his shoulder to get his attention.

“You good?” she asked with a kind smile.

“Yeah… yeah! I'm good.” he responded, in a not very convincing tone.

She nodded her head, “Alright.”

She had decided to let it rest for now, but Adaine was determined to figure out what was troubling her friend and to help him though it.

——————————

They all sat around a table at Basrar's, sipping milkshakes and eating ice-cream.

“Do you guys think Squeem will make it back here?” Kristen asked.

Fig responded, “I believe in him.”

Gorgug nodded along.

Riz pushed some papers towards Kristen and she picked them up to read with a sigh.

“Oh, is that for the campaign? How's it going?” Adaine inquired.

“Yeah, it's going great. I really think we have a shot at this.” Riz answered.

“We're going to destroy that Kippercopper Whatever-the-fuck.” Kristen said excitedly.

“Hell yes!” Fabian yelled.

The bad kids went on discussing life and school, but every now and then Adaine shifted her focus to Fabian. She just couldn't get the thought of that look in his eyes out of her head. It was lessened now, but it still worried her. She needed to know that he was alright.

——————————

Later, they were all sat around the TV in Mordred Manor. They'd picked out some fun, shitty horror movie to watch. The sun was setting by the time the credits rolled and Gorgug got out of his seat.

“I better be getting home.” He announced to the group, “Fabian, Riz, you two want a ride?"

“Yeah, sure.” Riz responded.

“Ehh, I don't need to go home right away.” Fabian said, leaning back in his seat on the sofa. “I think I'll stick around here a bit longer.”

Gorgug and Riz said goodbye and the others went back to chatting. After a while, Fig jumped out of her seat, announcing that she had just come up with an idea for a song. Without another word she ran off to her room.

About half an hour later, Kristen left as well to do her pre-bed workouts, leaving only Adaine and Fabian in the living room.

“I can leave if you want to go to bed soon.” Fabian said.

“No, no, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Adaine responded, turning to face him on the sofa. “What's up with you?”

“Huh?”

“You've been acting weird all week. You brushed me off when I asked about it earlier, but I know something’s wrong.”

“Adaine, I…”

“If you really don't want to talk about it that's fine, but I really just want to help you.”

Fabian sighed. “No, it's fine. It might actually be good to talk about it. So, you know how my Mama and Gilear went on holiday?"

“Yeah.”

“Well, I have no idea how to live on my own. I don't know how to cook, I don’t know how to clean my clothes… I don't know how to do anything.”

“Oh, you should’ve told us sooner, we can help you learn how to do all that stuff!”

Fabian lit up a little at this, but there was still something bothering him. “That's wonderful, thank you Adaine.” He said with some hesitation.

Adaine moved a little closer to him on the sofa. “There's still something wrong, what is it?”

“Well…” He sighed, “God this is pathetic.”

She put her hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “No Fabian, it's not pathetic to ask for help. Please, tell me about it.”

He looked away from her, fidgeting with his hands. The feeling of her hand on his shoulder made him calmer, yet somehow more nervous at the same time.

“I don't think I want to live alone. Each night in that empty house makes me more and more miserable.”

“I see, well I’m sure Jawbone and Sandra Lynn would be more than happy for you to stay here. Tracker’s old room is free now, or I have a spare bed in my room if you’d prefer that.”

Relief flooded Fabian’s body as he felt as though a weight was lifted. Though, his heart still raced for some reason that he couldn't quite understand.

“Oh, Adaine, you’re far too kind.” He said, but then he took a moment to think. “I thought Aelwyn was staying in that bed.”

Fabian’s question caught Adaine off guard, now it was her who couldn't look at him. She removed her hand from his shoulder as she stared at her reflection in the blank TV.

“Uh, not anymore. She moved out before we got back.” She paused for a moment. “I wish I could have spent more time with her before that.”

Fabian wished he could help her the way she had helped him, but there was no easy solution to this problem. So, he tentatively put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug, in hopes to at least comfort her.

His touch was warm and soft, breaking through the brave face she had being trying to put on. She leaned into the hug, struggling to keep her composure.

“We save the world and I reconnect with my sister, only to have to go out and save the world again and not get to spend any time with her. And to top it all off, I'm going to need to get about 10 jobs just to pay for school supplies.” She started crying as she buried her face into his chest. “I feel like we never get a goddamn break.”

“Adaine.” He said softly as he hugged her tighter. “I'll pay for your school stuff if you want.”

She sobbed softly. “I don't want to burden you.”

“It's not a burden. I have plenty of money, why not use it for something good?”

She was silent for a few moments, thinking it through, before she responded quietly, “Thank you, Fabian.”

——————————

They sat there silently in each others’ embrace for about 10 minutes, until they both suddenly became rather aware of their current position. Adaine could feel Fabian's heart racing and her mind wandered back to a memory that it often did, a memory that she was always trying to forget.

It was about two years ago when they had fought at the Durinson Mithral Factory. Fabian was talking to the Hangman and he made a comment about her that she wasn't really supposed to hear, but she did.

"She is rather cute”

It shouldn't have stuck in her mind the way it did, they were just friends. When he started pursuing her sister she tried to completely shove any other possibilities out of her mind. Though, that was extremely difficult to do when so much of what he did still made her heart pound.

At the same time, Fabian was trying to push away similar thoughts. That's what he had always been trying to do, attempting to find distractions that could keep his mind off her. First with Aelwyn and now more recently with Ecaf. He could let himself get caught up in those toxic relationships to keep himself from the possibility of getting his feelings truly hurt by someone who actually mattered to him.

However, he couldn't stop the fact that every time he saw her cast a powerful spell he would get a little flustered. He couldn't deny the fact that so often when he was showing off it was in an attempt to impress her. He wished these things weren't true and that he could just see her the same way he saw the rest of his friends, but they were and he couldn't.

Neither of the two knew the other’s feelings and they were both so sure that their feelings could never be reciprocated.

Adaine pushed herself away from Fabian as she felt her face flushing. His heart sank as he felt the space grow between them, but a part of him was thankful for it. However, as she turned away from him, he noticed something that made him a little worried.

“Adaine, are you feeling alright? Your whole face is red. Should I go get someone to help?”

“N- no no, I'm fine, it's nothing.” She stammered.

She stood up and moved a few paces away from him. He followed behind her, but stayed a little back, not wanting to overwhelm her.

“Adaine, seriously, what's wrong?” He asked softly.

So many thoughts were rushing through her head as she desperately tried to figure out some way to brush this all off. Without thinking, she suddenly blurted out the loudest thing on her mind.

“Do you still think I'm pretty?”

Fabian just stood there in stunned silence, trying to figure out how to respond. As soon as Adaine realised what she had said she began to panic.

“Oh, no no no no no no no.”

She started walking away, not able to face him, not able to face the look of disgust that was surely on his face. But before she could, he gently grabbed her. As she stopped in her tracks, he turned her to look at him.

“Wait, Adaine, I… yes.”

As he looked into her eyes, Fabian knew that he couldn't run from it anymore. Still holding her hand in his, he gently placed his other hand on her cheek and took a deep breath.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked quietly.

Adaine’s heart pounded in her chest as she heard those words and nodded her head. It felt like nothing mattered outside of this moment with him.

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. It was different to any kiss he'd had before. Not as intense, but just as, if not more, passionate.

As he pulled away they both took a second to process what had just happened. They each felt like they had been freed from something that had been trapping them for a while now. However, Adaine was still slightly anxious.

“What will the others say?” She asked.

“That's an issue for tomorrow.” Fabian responded, leading her back towards the sofa. “Let's just enjoy this right now.”

As they sat back down, they kissed again, this time more sure of themselves. They held one another tightly. After a while, they fell asleep in each others' arms, nervous and excited for what this change in their relationship might bring.

[wormsdyke]

pushing my bi poly gorgug agenda with this template by @awgeezitsthetoiletnator (image ID under the cut)

a bingo card with the fantasy high junior year logo at the top and a pair of D20s in the center free space.

column B

kristen cuts breakup bangs

riz says the words aro and/or ace

attempt and failure to jump on something

everyone would really prefer if the seven maidens were here

ragh’s mom is hot PLEASE

column I

riz artisanal espresso

fabian sexuality crisis

fantasy ACT/SAT

ayda gorgug autism bond

gorgug spellcasting critical failure (comedic)

column N

sandra lynn yoga era

roll for panic attack at retail job

free space

multiclass monk kristen ???

it’ll get inspiring soon

column G

sklonda law student era

gorgug/ragh kiss again (he has two hands)

hotboxing the hangvan PLEASE

hot riz must battle people crushing on him

beardsley beardsley’s a dice

column O

one or more applebees parent dies

gilear dies

kristen and fabian work out and cry over their hot exs together

someone’s parent is dating porter

lou wheeze cough cry laughs

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 2!!!🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 2 "Summer Breakdown"

Timestamp: 21:29

Video Length: 4min. & 42sec.

Fabian goes under the Hangvan for the 2nd time! 😭 (Fabian's turn ‣pt.1 | pt.2)

Kristen and Riz trying their hardest to block out Fabian's flirting with Ecaf! 😂😂🤣🤣💀💀

Ecaf "ACCIDENTALLY" says the name of the night yorb! 💀

Emily gets mad at Brennan again for using his NPCs to say the Night Yorb's name! 😂🤣💀

I love how Fabian is telling his friends not to yell at her! 😭✋

Brennan the DUNGEON MASTER: "Sorry, there's nothing I can do. It's the rules" 😭😭😭

Just imagine a world where Kristen punches Ecaf and Fabian punches Kristen. 😭😭😭

LOU ROLLS ANOTHER NAT1 FOR TRYING TO GET ONTO THE ROOF OF THE HANGVAN!!!!! 😭😭😭

The fact that Ally IMMEDIATELY lies! 😂 "I can't believe he got a NAT20." 😂😂🤣🤣💀💀

Emily: "Don't you reroll them though, because you're Lou?"

A LOU POINT!!! 😂😂 THE LOU FEAT!! 🤣🤣 BRENNAN'S FACE! LOL! 😂

Infinite Lou Points!! For being Brennan's BEST FRIEND!! 😭✋

A HOME-LOU!!!

Lou rolls a 5 on acrobatics and ALLY THROWS LOU'S DICE!!! 😭😭��✋

Lou adds his modifiers and the result is a 14! 😭

Brennan makes a face and Lou asks Brennan to not make that look cause that's his "I'm sorry I have to do this-" face 😭

Brennan "You know- I'm always rooting for you."

Emily: "Because you make your NPCs say the Night Yorb every single other word."

Brennan just smiling "I have to abide by the rules of the things I choose to do." (I'M CRYING AT THIS QUOTE!! 😭😭✋✋)

Brennan asks Murph to roll 5d10 cause he's the driver and the FACE THAT MURPH MAKES! HIS EXPRESSION IS SO FUNNY TO ME! 😂😂🤣🤣 The times where Murph's dice curse is ACTUALLY GOOD! When he has to roll AGAINST his own party members! 😂🤣💀😭

"the beans are due!" 😂 No more probability smashing!!

Murph laughing and telling Fabian that he needs to stay in the van and put his seatbelt on! 😂😂🤣🤣💀💀

Fabian has jumped and gone under the hangman twice! 😭✋

All Lou had to do was to roll a 2! And that's exactly what he did! He'd roll a 2 or lower! 😭✋

Brennan: "Can I just say, for anyone watching at home, don't jump out of moving vehicles. Because even if you're so agile, the risk reward-" 😂😂🤣🤣💀💀

Lou talking to his dice and telling them that they're embarrassing him on this show! Oh no! 😂🤣😭 Go get new dice Lou! Please! 😭✋

Brennan: "If you roll a Nat1, this is gonna be worse than Cody's turn in Unsleeping City." (The fact that Murph STILL holds the title for worst turn in Dimension20 history means a lot to me! And I couldn't tell or explain to you guys why that is! 😭💀)

Fabian just grabbing his face! The poor boy in so much pain from getting run over! 😭✋

I wonder how Fabian explains what happened to Gorgug later. We most likely will never get that exposition but I can imagine it in my mind! 😂😂🤣🤣💀💀

[skyshroom]

Fantasy high Junior year master post xx will update every week

!!!FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR SPOILERS, ALL FHJY SPOILERS WILL BE TAGGED #fhjy spoilers, #fantasy high junior year spoilers, #dimension 20 spoilers!!!

1. SUMMER SCARIES

Oh we are jumping straight into action

CANON NIGHT YORB DESIGN and it’s a fishy 🥺?! I’m in love

HANGVAN MINI IM GONNA CRY I missed u so much

Moggy the doggy!! I hope Adine just accumulates a truly irresponsible amount of little guys over the season

Baby mini (blursed)

Seated minis?!????

The new hangman art 🥺 puppy

Bloke mode Kristen applebees. Breakup hit you hard so sorry baby girl

After rewatching FHSY twice in preparation for this season I feel almost overwhelmed there’s so much stuff happening the set??? The battle map?? Seated and unseated minis?! I’m going into sensory overload

I need this battle music in my everyday playlist hello?

LOU’S FIRST ROLL OF THE SEASON BEING A NAT ONE (I recognize that dice)

First Beardsley 20 of the season we are so back baby

EMILY TOO LMFAO what is going on

These bits where a brand new character shows up and everyone already knows their whole deal are so fucking funny

Two Beardsley 20s!!!

This cliffhanger is going to be the absolute death of me omg what bad cheese did fig get into over the summer 👹

2. SUMMER BREAKDOWN

I’m a fool and tried to just add my live thoughts onto this post directly and lost all of it when the app crashed so lesson learned. Notes app first from here out. Anyways here are the highlights I can think of

The Ayda armor. Wow, we are so back Figayda nation

Riz hitting Fabian with the van twice is so bffs of them

Riz and Fabian are both breaking my heart already this season they are both so lonely but in such different ways ugh Fabian’s lack of connection with his mom and his security in the friend group while riz has a loving mom but feels so insecure about his place amongst his friends… zoo wee mama!!

Adine and Zayn’s friendship really means the world to me I hope that they explore it more especially now that Aelwyn bailed and left her at mordrid alone

Loving that Sklonda left the pig patrol behind hate that they’re screwing her over but what do you expect cops to do!

Gilear’s luck streak combined with fig’s weird bad luck with having to make a dex save on the stairs only to still wind up with her boot in a bucket of cement is making me nervous in a major way. And then the little blurb about doreen’s fishnet getting torn makes me think she’s got something to do with it and maybe bc Gilear was a lunch lad he is somehow connected I don’t know. I don’t know!

Kristen baby… lesbian canon event

Ayda and Arthur adventures Ayda I am praying so hard for you

The new ayda art 🥺 baby girl

[unsleepingtales]

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR TRAILER BATTLE SET BREAKDOWN

Five years after the first season of Fantasy High aired, production quality on Dimension 20 has skyrocketed, and it was already excellent to begin with. If this season follows the pattern of past Intrepid Heroes seasons, we can expect 7-10 combat episodes in Fantasy High Junior Year, and in the trailer we've gotten a small look at the wonders that await us.

Sand Temple Set

This battle set appears to be some kind of sand temple! The Bad Kids' minis are surrounding that central platform. There are some close shots of minis that appear to be in this set as well!

Blue Mall Set

I'm not sure if it's ice, magic, the ethereal plane, or just weird modern architecture, but regardless of why it's blue this sure looks like a mall! We've got a lovely group shot featuring what looks like a Cassandra mini?! As well as some other mini close shots that look to be from the same combat.

Thistlespring Tree Concert Set

I think the Cig Figs are having a concert in the Thistlespring's yard! This just looks so fun tbh I don't have much to say about it.

Hell Set (?)

There is glowing orange liquid behind these minis! I may be jumping to conclusions but if I had to guess I would say we're visiting hell this season? It definitely seems like we get another appearance from Bill Seacaster. Also I'm pretty sure Fig is standing (and Adaine's passed out) on top of the HangVan!

Portal Set (?)

This might be the same set, I'm not sure, but it seems like this set with the portals might also be Hell? Or it could be at least. And that would explain how they got there.

Church Set

The architecture and that one chair are all I've got to go on but I'm getting church vibes from this set idk.

Graveyard Set

Do we finally get to see Cravencroft Cemetery? Does my best friend Zayn Darkshadow make an appearance? Is there a battle near or at Mordred Manor? These questions and more will be answered sometime in the next six months!

Miscellaneous

No clue what battle these are from tbh. But they sure are neat.

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Fantasy High: Junior year, Episode 1: Sunday Scaries Live Reaction

The energy in the dome is so chaotic right off of the bat this is what I live for

Lou’s dad got a job in cleiveland

LMAO NIGHT YORB CANON LOVE

My crops!

OOOOO RED WASTES!!!

Love getting into this in media res

Also LOVE THE NIGHT YORB ART AND MINI

THE LAZER THING FROM THE MUSIC VIDEO IS THE SOLAR LASSO THATS SO GOOD

This is such a wonderful way to reintroduce the party

Gorgug has his crystal in his mini <3

SQUEEEM?????

Hate the squeem noise

INVISIBLE DOG MOGGIE THE DOGGIE

GORGUGS HUMUNCULUS

BABY’S MINI IM GONNA DIE

Look at his little tail <3 <3

SEATED MINIS OH MY GOD

This is so fucking crazy to see them just unloading all of their new stuff

WHO ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE

WHY THE FUCK IS FABIAN FUCKING A MIRROR

Did they do a mini campaign to get ready for this???

Gym butch kristen <3

Bloked to hell and back

Sun gun <3

THE PHOTOSYNTHA-KIDS

Sleven

Shout out to my yorbies

Spell caster rizz!

Riz driving the Hangvan vs the stotes driving Truck

Maybe the mirror is named Ecaf because it’s face backwards?

Shout out to the Nat one coming back right after they say they’re better since jumping on tables

Damn this sucks but it’s so funny

Kindly slide your mini UNDER the hangvan

Love ecaf love ecaf “this fucking kid”

What the fuck is up with fabian being friends with possessed objects

Gorg-geous

YORBIES! LET’S DO IT!

Emily and murph Silvery barbs couple <3

Not fig vaping in the Yorbs shit

Sound design is truly amazing

New season new Murph!

Dice bartering while Emily does math

SQUEEM NO

CINNAMON CHALLENGE BEHAVIOR

someone please draw Gorgug as a fisherman

God not the Yerba mate powder

Adaine down!

The dry guys

WHAT

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE

not the vulture again

NO BALTHAZAR

This whole fight feels like a fever dream

Jesus this mirror is playing him

NO BALTHAZAR

God the school email feels so real

Yassqueen?

Oh what the fuck that gulping noise sucks

Damn this circle of power is crazy

Return of the little beans - fuck those little beans

Dude what the fuck fig

GALEIR’S LEMON YOGURT WHAT THE FUC

lmao fig just has nyack from trinivale’s Jam parasite but it’s galeir’s yogurt

[celestial-sadgirl]

Spoilers for Fantasy High Junior Year Ep. 1 Below The Cut

As well as my mostly nonsense commentary

Songs a banger. We knew this.

The new dome set is so cool. Rick Perry. Legend.

If we let Brennan snack then we should let Emily French Press

HOOT GROWL!

BOX OUT

Holding hands cause the smaller table 😫

NEW MAP NEW MAP NEW MAP

OMG THE NEW DOME PROJECTIONS

I never thought about it but for some reason the Night Yorb being manta-ray shaped makes SO much sense

Yorbies

Hangvan leveled up

TWO MINIS?!?!

Skater and Non-Skater Fig. I’m obsessed

Feel like Gorgus is going through a “car guy” arc with the hangvan

Ok I feel terrible cause I’ve watched all of Fantasy High and FHSY and all the one shots, but I have no memory of Squeem. I LOVE HIM THOUGH

Adaine being able to call herself a cool kid means the world to me

DONT GIVE BRENNAN ANOTHER DOG TO KILL

Moggy The Doggy I love you

Ok same as Squeem, who is Gorgus Homunculus?

BABY!

Love that he serves no purpose other than to be annoying.

Fabian being stuck in the van with baby is so funny

I need to know how Brennan statted the battle sheet

Seated minis?!

Rick, you are incredible.

Ecaf?!??

Who are all these new companions? I feel like I’m going crazy

Since when does Fabian have a mirror he flirts with???

What did I miss??????????

Jacked Kristen Applebees

Also I haven’t seen anyone mention that Kristen is fully wearing the Kill Bill tracksuit

I’m still not over how I feel about Riz’s new art

Ring Guy Riz Gukgak

Good to know even with Riz’s glow up he’s still a fucking dork

Immediately bullying Riz’s mini for not having rings. I’ve missed the intrepid heroes so much

Sleven

Opening the season with a battle already halfway through is such a cool concept and such an incredible way to get us into season 3

Obsessed with Riz over justifying all his fashion choices

Hot inspector gadget. Yep.

Ok seriously who is this horny ass mirror

Aww comparing their first table jumping failed combat to halving half of them just chilling on top of a moving van

Not bad kids related but I absolutely love Lou’s orange mushroom shirt

LOU WILSON GET NEW DIE

wtf Fabian’s first roll is fucking Nat1

Straight Facts Siobhan. Teenage boys are so fucking reckless and dumb

The rest of the intrepid heroes need to just kidnap Lou’s dice at this point

Fabian getting stuck in the grate. Who else do we know who once got stuck under then Hangvan

Ok I’m gonna need close up pictures up every single mini

Silvery Barbs is such a good spell.

Emily and Muprh flirting by giving eachother advantage on their Silver Barbs.

Of fucking course Ally rolls a Nat20 immediately

A lot of their new gear seems to be specifically for defeating the Night Yorb. I wonder what else we’ll see the Solar Lasso do

I wanna inhale the night

I’m ready for the well-rolling murph era

First weird drink reference from Ally Beardsley: Yerba Mate

Why is Kristen being so rude to Cassandra?

(I know why. Babe, stop creating deities and then ghosting em)

Hot Take, I think it’d be cool if Kristen switched classes. I mean idk if being a cleric is working out for her.

Hey it’s ok Zac, you don’t have to trade your dice. Don’t succumb to peer pressure.

Emily gleefully yelling “40 Damage!” over the sound of everyone bullying Zac

WHO IS SQUEEM?!!

Why does it have kissable lips?👄

Wait it’s an eye?

Omg the pins on Adaine’s jean jacket! So cool

Brennan changing his voice based on what element his npc is made out of. Truly built in a lab to be a GM behaviour

God the bad kids are treating gorgus van so bad and that is so real for teens

I knew guys who jumped on the hood of their friends car while borrowing it. And it 100% broke it. The guy was without his car for almost a year, and idk if they dudes who broke the car even paid him for it.

I hate(love) Brennan’s stupid face when he’s shaking a shit load of die menacingly and just waiting for his players to notice. Bad Guy Shit

Siobhan’s PC dying in the first combat of the season will never get old.

Ally reading their spell cards is coming to wreck Brennans shit up

Siobhan simultaneously roasting Lou and Murph when she’s the one rolling like shit is incredible

Wait so Kristen is getting her spells from getting swole?

I hope if we see the dust mephits again they name them Eugene, Zack, and Keith. The Dry guys

Murph dropping the pop culture reference for once with “Speed” and Ally immediately hopping on is so funny and cute

Balthazar and Duggan McCann

Ok I know I’m not going crazy, this is some weird bit. Introducing all these new NPCs as if they are beloved favourites.

Having the huge parts of the season just be one big offscreen inside joke is both infuriating and hilarious

Is this a dream battle or smth. It feels like one long drug induced dream combat

The Vulture Returns!

One of these days Brennan will make a vulture important just to fuck with the Intrepid Hero’s

Just to be clear I do love all the new characters, Balthazar seems dope. I just am very confused

So much to say about Fabian and Ecaf, cont write it all here rn. Will have to make separate post

RIP Balthazar, we hardly knew ya. Good luck to your 6 month old parrots

Mid combat emailing is no longer just for Ally

It’s so cute whenever Murph backs Brennan up as a GM when the cast starts to tease him for shit like Yathmags. And Brennan always appreciates the empathy of a fellow GM.

Yathmags being called Yas Queens = Corn Gremlings being called Corn Cuties

Poor Cassandra

Come on Balthazar your Parrots need you

The Beans are back!

First Panic Attack. I love this mechanic so much

Hey no! Brennan, stop giving fig an existential crisis. It’s not time for them to drift apart yet! It’s only ep 1

Oooh what secret magic does Fig have?

Arch devil shit?

Wait what is this

Fig getting tired of adventure noooo

WAIT WHAT NO. BRENNAN.

Also this was kinda short.

God that was good

Ok so I might make a few more posts expanding on some of the thoughts here. I doubt anyone read this the whole way through lmao.

So fucking excited for the rest of the season. Im gonna try and do this for every episode

Instead of live blogging I’m just gonna write all my thoughts about the Fantasy High Junior Year Premier down and then post them all at once as soon as the episode ends

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 2

Bad News Parade

Welcome back to the Night Yorb Fight y’all! Like a true finale, this is a monster sized fight split into two parts. When we last left off, Fig had just reached out to some strange power to keep the Hangvan from flipping as they inched closer to their fleeing foe. But the Night Yorb was also about to enter a portal and fulfill its win condition! Let’s go back to bullets for the second half of this fight:

Adaine uses Bigby’s Hand (flavored to look like Riz’s ringed Mage Hand) to grab the Night Yorb and halt its movement, making Gorgug’s job a lot easier and doing some damage as well. 

Gorgug (with help from Adaine’s SECOND nat 1 portent) reels in the Night Yorb so it’s on top of them, but not yet bloodied so the sigilists can’t quite trap it yet.

Kristed does a little extra damage with Toll The Dead, getting it right over the line to bloodied and then hits everyone except for Fig with a Mass Healing Word. 

Adaine goes down (despite the fact that she has Mirror Image up) and Fig once again keeps her from falling off the roof. Her Bigby’s Hand disappears but it's done its job. 

Brennan says that the Night Yorb is very close to the portal and they essentially have one turn to defeat it or it’ll escape. Crunch time!

Riz succeeds in hitting a rock with his grappling gun with the goal of tying it to the van and getting it to stop gunning it but does a subpar job at tying the other end to the Hangvan so the tether is weak. Fabian gives an overwrought goodbye to Ecaf before jumping out of the van to try and reinforce the tie and he GETS RUN OVER AGAIN with a Nat 1. He has a PLUS THIRTEEN to athletics and this has happened TWICE IN ONE FIGHT. Amazing. He takes 22 damage but the Hangman picks him up again. 

The Night Yorb does a windstorm attack that Riz avoids but everyone else takes damage from. Adaine is unconscious so she gets a death save fail automatically. Fig and Adaine are thrown from the top of the van (Gorgug stays up). Kristen loses Circle of Power and Bless. Ecaf shatters (though Fabian doesn’t see cause he’s outside). Boggy and Baby disappear. 

To make matters worse, the Yorbies chant the Night Yorb’s name and heal it to above bloodied again. 

Fabian goes down due to some Yorbie attacks but stays in the saddle of the Hangvan. 

Riz, because he can’t stop, tries to do a hard turn and fails, but manages to roll high enough to keep the van from flipping. BUT, Brenan says he can elect to fail if he wants so he does, reasoning that it might hurt the Night Yorb AND make it easier for sigilists to access the sigil on top of the van. And hey, the Night Yorb is gonna escape in one turn anyway. Might as well go for broke.

With the van flipped, Kristen takes enough damage to go down. Only Fig, Gorgug, and Riz are still up.

However, even with resistance, the Night Yorb takes enough damage that it is bloodied again!

Gorgug tries to do the sigil and fails. Fig tries next and gets a Nat 20 against the Night Yorb’s Nat 1! More importantly, her deception beats Gorgug’s insight so she’s able to do it subtly enough to make Gorgug think HE did it. (Riz sees what really happened but Fig swears him to secrecy) Truly the greatest wizard of our age. 

The Night Yorb is defeated and turns into a sick mural on the top of the Hangvan that glows in the dark (thanks production crew!) The sun has returned! Photosynthesis is back baby!

That feels like it should be the end of the fight, right? But no. What follows is a like 20 minute slog where Brennan makes them pick off the remaining Yorbies as they bake in the oppressive heat of the desert. They really want the Night Yorb to be a load bearing baddie whose minions disappear once he’s gone but nope. They have to do the tedious dirty work. They might not be able to fast forward through it, but I can:

Everyone down is brought back up. 

Gorgug rolls a Nat 20 investigation about Balthazar and so I guess his shadow or soul or whatever is in the van mural now too? Sure.

Cassandra has texted Fig “Is Kristen mad at me?” 20 times in a row. 

They try and get a Yorbie to just give up and they’ll get him a job at Basrar’s but even with a 38 persuasion he doesn’t take the deal and Fabian stabs him to death. Too bad dude. You coulda been the next Jawbone!

Cassandra asks Kristen how the battle went but Kristen ignores her. 

Two guys pop out of nowhere to continue fighting them and Murph loses his mind. This isn’t plot relevant but Murph broke down so hard I can’t not mention it. So tactical, so late. 

You really get the sense of exhaustion that all the kids feel in having to continue to fight long after their hearts are no longer in it (except for Riz, who’s having a blast). Everyone describes how they’re doing physically and it is NOT good. Fabian has full tire marks on him from being run over (TWICE). Once cleanup is over, they talk about what they would have done for the summer if they hadn’t been forced on this Night Yorb quest. Adaine wanted to get a job–now she’ll have no pocket money for the semester. Fabian was accepted to a great dance camp but obviously he couldn’t go. Gorgug wanted to work on the van. But Riz is excited that they got to spend the summer together. (Which, aww buddy).

The job is done but they now have 48 hours to book it back to Solace if they don’t wanna miss the first day. It’s a pretty frantic road trip experience, where someone has to be driving at all times and everyone is surviving on gas station snacks. 

They finally make it back to Elmville with only a couple of hours to spare and they’re met with memories from their first adventure ever. The place where they found the first palimpsest and the garage where they spied on Johnny Spells. Across from the garage is a diner and they decided to step in and get some real food, even though they’re so close to home. Daisy Cubby is their waitress and she greets them cheerily and congratulates them for completing their quest before bringing them all various dishes that feature ice cream and cottage cheese heavily. 

One detail I neglected to mention: after the fight, Fabian asked where Ecaf was and, to spare him the heartbreak of her shattering, they lied and said she was a turncoat the whole time. As they’re about to split up, Fabian, forlorn, asks if she said anything about him before she left and they all hype him up with, “You were too good for her bro,” nonsense in a coordinated friend lie that Fabian totally buys. He leaves the conversation VERY hyped and feeling himself like he wasn’t mooning over a MIRROR yesterday. 

(Also, plot twist, as soon as he’s gone, they realize that they can actually mend the mirror, which bring Ecaf back who absolutely didn’t actually betray them. They all agree that it’s better that Fabain ISN’T kissing a mirror though so they just stick her in Adaine’s jacket with the attitude of ‘Yikes! Hope that doesn’t bite us in the butt later!’ Then they all pinky promise to never tell Fabian.)

And now, let’s head into a beloved Fantasy High tradition: splitting up and seeing what’s going on at everyone’s individual houses! Fabian gets home first so let’s start with him.

Fabian

Fabian gets to Seacaster manor and finds that he’s made it home just in time to see off his mom and Gilear who are headed off on a month long vacation. Apparently, Gilear finally proposed and, in a twist a fortune (that’s so suspicious that we’re gonna talk about it later) he won a several months long cruise. They’re going to roll that into a longer vacation so Fabin is going to have the fun of the manor while they’re gone. Fabian, to his credit, is emotionally mature to say, “Good on you, Gilear” about the proposal instead of having a fit about being related to him, but, though he tries to hide it, it’s clear that he’s pretty bummed that he came all the way home just for a quick goodbye and an empty house. Not even his mom’s announcement that because he turned 18 on the road, some of his trust funds have become available to him making him even more flush with cash does anything to make him feel any better. 

HIlariel gives Fabian a business card in case he wants to talk to his trust fund manager. Then, she leaves in a flurry of cheek kisses and Fabian is left alone in his cavernous mansion. Brennan drives home the point by making him roll to find his fridge and some glasses so he can pour himself a glass of milk. 

Also, I said he was alone but, technically he’s not. In addition to the mound of regular presents left in his room, there’s also some pirates in some parallels who will sing Happy Birthday to him when he opens them. And they’re paid for for the whole year. There really is a subscription service for everything now, huh?

Riz

Next up is Riz who Gorgug drops off at Strongtower Luxury Apartments.Riz finds that his mom has fallen asleep reading legal books because she is NOT a cop anymore and Brennan REALLY needs you to know that. Riz sees that she has a yarn board going and when she wakes up (happy to see him of course) she tells him she’s been working on a case defending one of the organizers of the Frosty Fair Folk Festival (a kind of sylvan music festival) from embezzlement. 

But she wants to talk about him! She likes the new look and says it reminds her of his dad. And Riz is very excited to tell her about the end of the battle and the two guys who popped out (so tactical, so late). Unfortunately, Sklonda is forced to dip into uncomfortable family conversation mode. Even though she fought really hard, she’s not gonna be able to keep her police pension. That’s gonna make college or any other post-Aguefort plans tricky for Riz. He might have to beef up his applications with sports or extracurriculars or something.

Riz, ever the problem solver, tells Sklonda not to worry because, actually, he thrives under pressure. In fact, figuring this out isn’t even the hard part. The hard part is that he has to figure out which college ALL of his friends can get into because he has to look out for everybody and he and Adaine have great grades but everyone else, woof. Sklonda has the vibe of a parent whose kid is so sweet and so about to be hit by a dose of reality, but she encourages him to get ready because Junior Year is crunch time. It almost feels like that warning is for us too.  

Instead of going to bed, Riz starts working on his own yarn board: college admissions edition. 

Gorgug

After dropping off Riz, Gorgug makes it to the tree where his parents (whose new character card hilariously have they/them pronouns because they’re a matching set) greet him, congratulate him, and ask about the mission.

They’re so excited to have a new little (well, big) Artificer in the house (since he’s gonna officially start taking Artificer classes this semester in addition to Barb classes) and are very impressed with the solar lasso he made. They immediately know all the technical workings behind it and Gorgug, who has more practical skill and intuition than technical knowhow, self-deprecates that he just did his best. 

Like all the homecomings so far, there’s a tinge of sadness: apparently Zelda’s dad dropped by with a box of Gorgug’s stuff. Seems they’re not a thing anymore though she says hey and he says hey back so it’s cordial if awkward. But, let’s be real, they were super awkward when they were together too. 

There’s some other news. The Folk Festival that Riz’s mom mentioned is being held near Gorgug’s birthday and the Thistlesprings are hosting it at the tree. And also, some thick envelopes have come from school that they haven’t opened because they’ve been waiting for Gorgug to get home. Gorgug has had a long day though so they decide to open them together tomorrow. 

Adaine, Fig, and Kristen

The girls all live together at Mordred Manor so we’ll do them all together. When they get home, Sandra Lynn, Jawbone, Ragh, his mom Lydia, and Zayn are all there to greet the party with a hastily made birthday cake since they missed celebrating birthdays while on the road. The girls are emotional and grateful and so so tired so they decide the plan is cake and then bed because school is in like four hours. They’re told they can skip if they want and the idea is appealing to Fig and Kristen but not Adaine who actually likes the first day of school. So it’s probably not surprising when Jawbone pulls Fig and Kristen into a sidebar to say that they’re dangerously close to being expelled. Fig doesn’t go to any of her classes and Kristen straight up let her god DIE. The school doesn’t even know that she picked up a third god because she never registered Cass! 

Kristen says that she feels kinda unmoored and like she’s just jumping from life preserver to life preserver and Fig says that if she goes to any class more than twice she basically loses interest. Jawbone is super supportive and says that if school isn’t for them, they can totally just drop out, but that they need to figure out what it is they want. 

They ask if saving the world doesn’t count for a few class credits and Jawbone says that they could probably talk Aguefort into that but, continuing the parade of nasty surprises, Aguefort isn’t going to be their principal this year because he’s going on vacation with Ayda and won’t be back until the end of the school year. Specifically, they’re time traveling to the past and not only does Ayda hate that she has to go, she thinks it’s super dumb that they can’t just return to the moment they left. She’s right (even though Aguesfort insists it doesn't work that way--this is clearly beef Brennan personally has with time travel media). They’re specifically going to study the “time quangle”, a weird, magical, chronomancy phenomenon that makes time go screwy. Is this a simple hand wave for continuity blips between seasons or a stealth plot point that will help us later? Only time will tell!

Fig actually knew about this trip, but she thought she’d get back with enough time to say goodbye to Ayda at least–rest assured, they’re still together (which we already knew due to what I assume is Fig’s Armor of Agathys being flavored to Armor of Ayda and her activating it in the fight by saying ‘My Girlfriend says hello!”). And Ayda is as sweet as ever. Though she’s not in the episode proper, she left a message for Fig in the past that manifested as trilobite fossils in the present day manor’s lawn: Miss you. Love you. XOXO Ayda. Cute!

But the cuteness is followed by even MORE bad news! Adaine is still broke because her mom is technically still alive so she has no access to her inheritance. Fig’s in deep debt with her record label because she never delivered her second album and also she had to cancel her tour because of adventuring. She has a deadline to deliver the next album by the new year and she doesn’t have that much written. And on top of THAT, devils have been looking for her because, if you recall, she’s technically an archdevil which isn’t just a cool title. It’s a job with responsibilities she hasn’t been fulfilling. 

But everyone is exhausted. They can deal with everything in the morning. Kristen asks if she can do a career test with Jawbone the next day because she doesn’t really vibe with school but she doesn’t know what else to do and he of course agrees. 

Kristen then meets up with Ragh who just got back from helping Tracker with her whole missionary trip where she’s been rehabbing the moon goddess’s image to be less high elf haughty and more down to earth. He’s being potentially scouted by some bloodrush teams (go Ragh!). More big picture interesting though, he wants to know if Tracker can reach out to her. And here, we get confirmation of what, imo, has been pretty apparent since Kristen’s new character art dropped: Tracker and Kristen are broken up. Ragh has some insider info from traveling with her and is willing to share but Kristen is too overwhelmed to hear it right now. Here’s her plan: Tomorrow, she’ll take a career test with Jawbone and figure out her whole life, the day after that Ragh will tell her what he knows about Tracker, and THEN he can tell Tracker she can reach out. Ragh seems skeptical at the efficiency of that timetable, but he agrees. 

Adaine goes up to her room and finds it empty aside from Zayn who tells her that Aelwyn moved out over the summer. All traces of her sister aren’t gone however because the walls have been painted with beautiful abjurative runes and there’s a present and a note left for her. The present is lembas bread cake pops–a Falinel favorite–and a key to her new apartment in Clearbook (their old neighborhood). The note says that Adaine is welcome at her apartment at any time, provided she texts ahead, and that she should enjoy the nemesis ward, which is what the runes are.  Apparently, they’re a spell bad guys usually do to be like, “No one can touch my nemesis but me!” It doesn’t allow anyone to attack the person it’s cast on unless they first defeat the caster. In this case, the clear message is, “Even if I’m not there, no one can touch you without coming through me.” Aww! A long way from, “My bitch of a sister.” Adaine says Aelwyn always had a sense of humor before zonking out.

Fig goes to her bed and cuddles with the rock message from Ayda (ow) but she’s soon disturbed as her stomach once again gurgles painfully (double ow). She’s reminded of the strange magic she used during the fight and seeks out her mom for guidance. She tells Sandra Lynn that she’s worried she might have made a deal with a devil and asks if there’s a devil of acid reflux. Sandra Lynn is a little confused but then notices that Fig has spilled something on her shirt–cottage cheese from the diner. Fig remembers her very dairy heavy post-midnight meal and figures that’s why she feels sick. Her mom gives her a quick supportive pep talk about how she was also kind of a hellion as a teen and then Fig goes to bed…or she tries. As soon as she goes down the stairs, she steps directly into a bucket of cement (left there because of home renovations) and rips her fishnet stocking from Doreen! Bummer! And unlucky. So suspiciously unlucky that we’ll talk about it later. 

And we close off with Kristen who’s making a classic teen mistake: Checking an ex’s social media post-breakup. Tracker is, by all accounts, doing fantastic. Her latest post has 40k likes. She has double the followers from last time Kristen checked. Whoever is handling her socials is doing a GREAT job making her look cool as she does miracles and fights monsters. And, there’s even a picture of her with a beautiful elven maiden sitting on her lap while she speaks. Her movement, the Wolfsong revival, is the most exciting thing to happen to the stodgy elven city in ages.

Cassandra asks how their social media is doing and the answer is not great. The only followers are Craig (Cass’s one non-Kisten convert), a bot, and most but not all of the other Bad Kids (Fabian opted out). 

Cassandra tells Kristen that it’s OK and she understands that she’s been going through a lot–but as she says this she’s wincing and speaking in a very pained way. Cass suddenly gasps in pain and Kristen sees “a little ribbon of red and something sharp move through her body.” Kristen is concerned but even with a 28 Insight roll, all she gets is that “Something hurt her”. Ominous!

But the goddess doesn’t even mention it. “It's okay,” she says softly. “You know, I might only have... I might only have two followers, but it's better than Yes!, right?" She vanishes, and Kristen falls asleep. Personally, I think that would haunt me the rest of the night but I’ve never fought a Night Yorb and then had to drive for 48 straight hours so hey, what do I know?

Detention 

All of the Bad Kids (Minus Fabian) for Banishing Ecaf to Adaine’s Jacket and Lying to Fabian

Listen, just because they’re here, doesn’t mean I don’t get why they did it, lol. 

Honor Roll

Ayda for Sending Fig A Fossilized Love Letter

She may not be in the episode physically, but she’s MVP status while stuck on vacation with her dad. So sweet!

Random Thoughts

It is so funny how casual everyone in Elmville is about the sun having been fully gone for several months. Like, same shit as usual. But also this is the SECOND time that these SPECIFIC kids have messed w/ the sun so like, it really is business as usual. 

I skipped over this in the recap but Moggy the Doggy absolutely eviscerates one of the Yorbies while Adaine is down. Cute and vicious! Just like Adaine. 

One thing about Brennan is that he WILL mention unions at the drop of a hat. 

Ally’s “Hey Girlie” as Kristen tries to put the mirror in Adaine’s pocket and also get it out will haunt me forever. 

Fascinated about what airport security looks like in this world. Is a sword at your side just chill?

Is Cathilda in the manor with Fabian or is he fully alone? She never came up so I’m wondering if she’s been taken away as well. 

Everyone but Riz got a beloved NPCs taken away from easy access (Aelwyn is still pretty accessible to be fair, but across town is less accessible than in the bunk bed over you). Obviously, this fits the theme of this season and paves the way for introducing new NPCs. But of course because we’re here to go full Pepe Silvia, I have to at least wonder if it could possibly be part of an in-game plot to isolate the bad kids. My brain says that it’s not because these are all very normal reasons to have people leave your life (except maybe the cruise which is kinda wild). But anything’s possible and I’ve been wrong before. So just want that on the record. 

Ditto about the Time Quangle. It very easily could just be a way to smooth over the continuity of something that wasn’t supposed to be longer than one season initially. That’s what would make the most sense. However, I watched The Good Place like everyone else. I’ve missed clues because of assuming weirdness was just due to conventions of the genre. So I’ll be on Quangle-Watch as well. 

That Folk Festival came up twice–once with Sklonda and once with the Thistlesprings–so I’m curious to see where that goes. First eps usually set up a ton of the major conflicts for the season so anything mentioned twice is something to remember. 

Brennan also mentions the trust business card twice which makes me wonder if there’s something important there. Wouldn’t be the first time important banking was a theme in this show. 

OK, so Gilear and Fig switched luck for sure, right? When her mom said she spilled something on her shirt I immediately was like oh no. The Gilearification of Fig. That seems to be the effect but what would be the cause? Some kind of equivalent exchange for twisting fate? A demon who likes fucking with people? It would be one thing if she was just being Gilearified, but Gilear is getting lucky too. First the cruise then the 10% off the taxi to the airport? We don’t have a ton of dots to connect yet, but I’m watching this storyline with interest. Is this the storyline enticing enough for Emily to play Fig again? Also, assuming I’m right about what’s happening, I bet Fig is gonna be lowkey happy Ayda isn’t around to watch this happen.

Zelda/Gorgug break up. Well, at least Sam is happy wherever she is. This one wasn’t as obvious as the Kristen/Tracker breakup but I can’t say I’m shocked. In The Seven, Zelda gets her GED so it would make sense that they’d be wary to go long distance. (Of course, the timeline of that is wonky but, just gonna assume that’s being handwaved by the quangle for now). 

Lol at Fig throwing Kristen under the bus (“I feel like Kristen's in a lot worse shape than I am.”) during the talk with Jawbone. 

Also Fig saying she’s taken “two fistfuls” of Barbarian classes. Emily, the things that exit your mouth. Chef’s kiss. 

Aelwyn Abernant my beloved. OK, you know I have Aelwyn thoughts. Here they are in no particular order:

The Nemesis Ward is such a great detail. So sweet. So dramatic and performative. So Aelwyn. (And, mechanically, fantastic reason to see her again…)

Middle school teacher? She’s a middle school teacher? That’s insane on multiple levels. First of all, just on the face of it: Bitchiest person you know working with small children. Incredible. Did Jawbone just say, “Idk working at a school fixed my entire life so maybe try that?” Second of all, it’s crazy she has a job AT ALL. Did she even graduate high school? Also, I know she’s not mind broken anymore because she reset her brain but even vanilla Aelwyn needs SO MUCH therapy before she should be doing any job, let alone one with kids. And it’s only been like what? A couple of months? Does she have any teaching certifications? Does Elmville just like their school personnel rough around the edges? She’s like 19 and a war criminal. I know Antiope’s sister is a teacher there too and also pretty young but she’s not a *war criminal*. Is she nice to the kids? If so, is she nice-nice or mean-nice? What is the vibe? Brennan PLEASE let us see what Aelwyn in a classroom setting looks like I’m begging you.

Five cats? Aelwyn. Five of them? Are they all just regular ass rescue cats? Is one of them her familiar? Do you really want Adaine to text ahead because you might have guests or is it so you can Prestidigitation away the mess from your FIVE CATS. 

OK, Aelwyn thoughts over…for now.

I know that just because you have money it doesn’t mean all your friends’ money issues are suddenly your responsibility but it really seems to me like Fabian could solve a lot of problems for Riz and Adaine very casually. 

For a hot second, I was a little surprised that Gorgug had a toothbrush at Zelda’s house but then I remembered how laissez faire her parents are to the point of *wanting* her to do “rebellious” teen things. So that fully checks out lol. 

These players are more patient than me because you wouldn’t catch me opening letters later or asking about Tracker later. If you dangle info in front of me, I want it NOW, in-character exhaustion be damned. 

Speaking of Tracker: Wild speculation time. What if the reason Tracker wants to talk to Kristen isn’t about Kristen so much as is it about Cass? Because their goddesses are sisters, right? Maybe now that Galicaea has presumably mellowed a bit from having an influx of non-traditional high elf followers, she’s curious about what’s up with her baby sister. 

Love the “Happy birthday/Happy death day,” exchange between Adaine and Zayn. I really hope we get more of him this season!

Fig ripping that hairnet fishnet stocking that she’d had since like, episode 2 or 3 really feels like an indication of the, “Everything’s changing this season,” vibes Brennan is putting out. 

Brennan phrases the thing that hurt Cassandra as, “a little ribbon of red” which wouldn’t be notable except for the fact that the last time ribbons came up in this show is was because Kristen did something so iconically stupid and thoughtless that she almost died (Ribbon Dance as an attempt to fly, never forget). I wonder if this is another dumb bit to serious symbol situation, like with Riz and Baron. If you want to symbolize Kristen’s thoughtless actions having consequences that are harmful, that’s one way to do it. 

In the promo for next week, Kristen says that Cass is a “hard sell” because of her domains but I honestly thing a goddess of doubt and mystery would be really popular if marketed correctly (or like, literally at all). There are straight up evil gods with big followings. I think you could pretty easily drum up support for the mysterious Hot Topic goddess even if she’s not giving easy answers. And like, she’s so eager for one on one interactions. Like idk Kristen, I feel like this has less to do with Cass than you. 

I wanted to share this wild piece of information about Kipperlily Copperkettle who I am immediately obsessed with and am now more obsessed with now that I know this.