#jumbo condom

[fozia786]

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[ayesha636]

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[onlinrshop564]

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[butmakeitgayblog]

Do you have any Lexa's that would tease Clarke with that jumbo condom?

I mean,,, I think it's pretty obvious. The size queen herself.

CI Lexa

They religiously use condoms when they're traveling. Like? Princess Dainty Lexa Woods is not going to be standing in a hotel bathroom scrubbing down a dildo that they forgot to wash before passing out. She will throw it away before that ever happens and, well... she has certain favorites that she doesn't want to lose. Okay?

Still it's funny because Clarke had once offhandedly said that she'd assumed when she settled down and became a one woman kinda gal with Lexa, her days of worrying about condoms would be over. Cuz ya know, "I highly doubt I can get you pregnant, baby🙄"

After that it's an absolute necessity for Lexa to fuck with her over that stupid statement as often as possible. Clarke strapping up in one of their, ahem, larger choices among their selection. Lexa, spread out and worked up into a needy mess, still finding the brainpower to dutifully hold out the only sized condom that'll fit the toy with a solemn look, "Put this on, darling? We don't want any scares—."

Clarke, yet again not amused as she snatches the condom out of her hand. "Hah. Aha. Hahaha, shut up."

"I'm sorry, my love, I'm just not ready to be a mother yet—"

"What you're gonna be is single in about two fucking seconds 😒"

//

Yeah, Lexa would be very pleased with herself

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

i feel like this is also ripe for having all the people they walk by be other characters and ships for a laugh, because they don't know each others families/friends yet.

William walks by John and Mary, all cutesy and newly in love, and is like, "I don't get it but awwww"

Sherlock walks by Albert very pointedly buying jumbo magnum xxl condoms and does not realize until months later after he's met William and made the connection with who his brother's boyfriend is who those were for; nearly has to be hospitalized.

Sherlock walks by Bond and is too busy judging the bizarre assortment of colours and flavours he's buying to register why he seems familiar.

Sherlock walks by Moran filling a whole shopping basket and just turns around and leaves the store.

William walks by Sherlock buying condoms For A Case. Sherlock is too involved in reading the fine print to notice him. So when they meet officially a while later, William spends their first two dates assuming that Sherlock is allo and experienced, leading to a series of romcom misunderstandings.

(Credit to Marr for Sherlock buying condoms for a case, I just took that idea and ran with it. 😂)

[reallygroovyninja]

Which pics inspired stories for you

The room buzzed with laughter as the bachelorette party hit its stride. Octavia, wearing a "Bride-to-Be" sash, stood at the center, grinning from ear to ear. Lexa found herself in a group of friends, each more eager than the last to participate in the latest game.

"Alright, ladies!" Raven announced, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "For this game, you have to pick a condom that matches the size of your alpha's member. No cheating!"

A table was set up with an assortment of condoms in various sizes, each packaged in brightly colored wrappers. Lexa's cheeks flushed slightly as she glanced at the display. The room erupted in a chorus of giggles and teasing as the women began to make their choices.

Lexa hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of curious eyes on her. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that this was all in good fun. With a confident stride, she approached the table and scanned the options.

The small, medium, and large sizes seemed too inadequate as she reached for a bright red wrapper labeled "jumbo." She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks but kept her expression composed. She picked up the condom, holding it up for everyone to see.

A wave of laughter and playful whistles filled the room. Raven clapped her hands in delight. "Well, well, Lexa! Looks like someone is very lucky!"

Lexa shrugged with a wry smile. "What can I say? Clarke's full of surprises."

[emma-munson]

Thank you @ghost-proofbaby @loserboysandlithium @userchai and @lokis-army-77 for tagging me in this!!! (I’m smooching all of you)

I feel like everyone’s done this or been tagged…

But I’ll still tag a few!!! @littlesubbyflower @munson-mjstan @myspacebrat @hellfire--cult

[lexa-griffins]

Lexa takes a cute selfie with the jumbo condom for Clarke. Safe sex

Clarke opens the picture when hanging out with friends, Raven sees her blush and peaks over her shoulder "Well, now we know what you're working with between those Griff."

Lexa is confused^tm when Raven tells her "Good job and good luck." the next time they see each other 🤭

[moocha-muses]

“Hey, bud! I just wanted to check if there’s anything you need for college. You know, stuff you can’t ask your dads about. Jumbo box of condoms, industrial tub of lubricant, autographed poster of my band so the other kids will know you’re cool . . . “

[sebastianshaw]

"Okay, wonderful. GREAT, take them all. Please leave immediately"

"Excellent. Perfect. Thank you. Let me see if I can just get a few more in my pockets...now tuck them into my shirt...slide a few into my shoes. . ." A medical supply company had a mixup and delivered Crane a jumbo sized order of super-condoms. @mcnomaniametus

[fozia786]

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[ayesha636]

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[halliescomut]

Secret Crush on You Ep 9

-Was Toh seriously trying to practice sex noises? I think I blacked out for a second.

-Idk what's happening the jumbo condom box and the animal audios....wtf

- Toh very disappointed that by workout Nuea didn't mean workout 😏.

-Nuea, my guy, it's gonna be real hard (pun intended) for Toh to workout with you if you keep getting him worked up.

-Pouty Nuea...precious.

-Aww, surprise kiss picture. I love that shit. (I was raised on rom-coms, I'm very easy to please.)

-I can't believe he kissed the car window...that can't be sanitary.

-Poor Jao...he did not get the sex joke.

-But he did get a gallon Ziploc bag full of condoms... wtf Toh. But also, props for promoting safe sex.

-Sweet baby Jao has no idea how appealing he is.

-Sir Touch has returned....and gif spoilers tell me that Sir Daisy is gonna get some flirtation. ☺️☺️☺️

-Fucking Prao again 🙄

-Like...shoot your shot ladies (used ironically) but you all know these dudes are actively lusting after other people, so maybe stop being little bitches and find someone interested.

-We're gonna get drunk Toh again....aren't we....

-He just touched another man at the urinals...I don't have a penis but I know that's a faux pas.

-Jealous Nuea again. 😁😁

- Som is very vicious...I adore her.

-Aww... Daisy get your man.

-Sky...whatcha doin????😳😳😳

-Jao you goose, Sky considers you to be a friend too.

-Toh...got very aggressive with Sky...it's a little rude since anyone could see how Sky feels, but I love a protective friend.

-Fon and Kwan are like 'Bye Bitches' 😂😂😂

-I like Sky's fun printed shirt, this one is like a jazz band....very fun

- Sky's so cute. Awww ...the hug... so cute. Jao he really likes you babes. You gotta realize that.

-Drive Safe = I love you...we all know that.

-I do love drunk Toh I think. He's very bold and that's good sometimes.

-Yes Touch, be the gentleman for 'Daisy in Distress'.

-Props to Som for being the opposite of a cockblock...a cock enabler???

-Daisy's so fuckin cute...and Touch totally tricked him into a date. Good job babes.

-I have no idea what just happened with the noodle seller...that was wild. But I support their peaceful protest of whatever they're protesting.

-Daisy.exe error 😂😂😂

-I do need a behind the scenes for how those berets stay on...is it just hair pins???

-Toh's like

-Toh is going hard on Nuea's chest 😂😂😂 horny babe.

-Ooh another Phys Ed session for Toh, lucky bastard.

Honestly, this ep might be a 10/10. Lots of sweet corniness (and horniness) which I love.

7/10 for embarrassment, but we're definitely gonna have a moment the next time Nuea gets into Toh's apartment....I'm worried about it.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Glad to know I wasn't the only one to mistake that for a condom. The jumbo threw me off

How cute if that was actually a condom and the crab was the mascot with the slogan "Don't get crabs, wrap it up"

Lol that's what I said! It's either the best or worst mascot idea for condom company and I can't decide which 🥴

Granted, I did not mistake it for a condom 😭😂 but after the fact I mean

[coveredinpaint]

This reminds me of a time when I was dating a guy who was originally from the Midwest I think. Meanwhile, I grew up in New England, which is where we were at the time. He had a toddler from a previous relationship and sometimes she'd be over there in the evenings. Before going over to his place one night he texted me asking if I'd pick up jimmies on my way over. "Sure!" I said, "Rainbow or chocolate?" He said it didn't matter and I arrived with a jumbo tub of rainbow sprinkles, thinking he must have his daughter that night and she'd like rainbow best for sure. Condoms. He wanted condoms. Wherever he was from they call condoms jimmies, but here in New England jimmies are sprinkles. The flavor follow-up question didn't even throw him because of course condoms and sprinkles both come in many colors and flavors. Regional language differences can be fun.

Through sheer happenstance my beloved and I both speak German. They’re significantly more fluent than me, having done a year abroad and double majoring in it. But both of us have stories passed down to us of the hilarious cultural misunderstandings present in learning a new language.

One of my German teachers had also spent a year abroad. He had a good grasp of the language but not the nuance. So when he’d closed on his first apartment and his lady got him a good deal he said, “Oh mein Gott, ich liebe dich!” (“Oh my god, I love you!”)

Now in English I love you is a multi-use term applied to friends, family, and for emphasis that you’re very happy, like someone just got you your first apartment.

In German however that phrasing is very specifically romantic. Not even casually romantic, it’s Serious Love. Parents tell their kids “Ich habe dich gern” or “Ich habe dich lieb” (literally “I have you gladly” or “I have love for you”) rather than “Ich liebe dich.” (This is as it was explained to me, don’t @ me it was public school)

So this woman was horrified and creeped out that this strange man, who she was alone in a room with, had pulled the cultural equivalent of declaring his undying love for her and asking her to have his babies.

He was equally horrified to have made such a faux pas when he realized how upset she was and profusely apologized. She understood better when he explained he was American.

A silly bonus story was that in that class we pranked one of the girls into thinking “Baum” was slang for cool. It just means tree. She’d be like “Das ist so Baum!” (“That is so tree!”) It went on for a few months before the teacher corrected her.

The next story is one of my favorites. My beloved heard from her teacher of a woman who had hosted a German exchange student for a while. At one point the girl came up to the her host mom to ask, “Where can we go buy a rubber? My sister collects them.”

“A rubber? She collects them??”

“Yes, can we buy her one?”

The woman was shocked that her exchange student was asking for a condom. But, she told herself, cultural norms were different, and she knew that German teenagers were given more sexual freedom. So, trepidatious but determined, she drove the girl to a local sex shop.

The girl, in turn, was horrified when they arrived. Most German student learn British English instead of American English and they call erasers rubbers.

The translation error made her host mom think she was asking for condoms when she just wanted a cute eraser and they both ended up embarrassed, surrounded by dildos.

[reallygroovyninja]

Looks like I wasn't the only one to mistake the packet Alycia was holding as a condom instead of a wet wipe

Ok, I am going to make an observation. If you look at the O in jumbo, it looks like a condom. It's like who designed this packaging because everything about it screams condom.