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fvsm4x · 3 days ago

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synopsis. Pregnancy, usually a positive outcome of love between two partners that love each other deeply. But Pregnancy resulting from someone using you for their own pleasure is far from a positive outcome

+ warning/content. bully Gojo Satoru x female reader - reader is pregnant - mentions of abortion - mature themes/MDNI - usual warnings - suguru and reader are siblings - reader lowkey depressed - ANGST - chapter 3 from the series regret

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(Six Months Later – Present Timeline, Winter)

The cold hit you the moment you stepped out of the convenience store, the biting wind cutting through your coat like it wasn’t even there. You exhaled, watching your breath curl into the air before disappearing into the night. Winter had settled in, coating the streets in frost, making everything feel sharper—like the world itself was trying to wake you up from the numbness that had taken root inside you.

It was late, past midnight, but the city was still alive. The neon glow of street signs flickered against the wet pavement, and a group of drunk salarymen stumbled out of a nearby izakaya, their laughter echoing down the empty streets. You ignored them, keeping your head down as you walked past, one hand tightening around the plastic bag of food you’d just bought.

You hadn’t meant to stay out this late. You hadn’t meant to go out at all.

The apartment was suffocating some nights. The quietness that had once felt like an escape now felt like a void, pressing in from all sides, swallowing you whole. You would sit on the couch, staring at the ceiling, listening to the faint hum of the heater, the occasional creak of the walls. No messages lit up your phone. No knocks ever came at the door. You were untethered, drifting through days that bled into each other, feeling more like a ghost in your own life than a person.

It was easier to disappear into routine. Wake up. Force yourself to eat. Scroll through new job listings. Go work. Stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, searching for something—some sign that you were different, that you were changing. But your face remained the same, your body shifting a bit. Even at six months, no one could tell.

Maybe that was why it didn’t feel real.

Or maybe it was because you still couldn’t bring yourself to think about the future.

The thought of it sent a dull panic through you, one you had learned to push down, to ignore, to bury under layers of distractions. You moved through each day as if you were still waiting for something—for someone to tell you what to do, for something to force your hand. But there was nothing. Just the cold, the empty apartment, and the quiet knowledge that you were running out of time.

You let out a slow breath and turned down the quieter street that led to the apartment. The cold made your fingers stiff, but you welcomed the sting—it was better than feeling nothing at all.

The walk back to the apartment was short, but the cold made every step feel longer. The night air clung to your skin, biting at your exposed fingers despite the way you stuffed them deep into your coat pockets. The plastic bag in your hand rustled with every movement, a small reminder of the meager groceries you had managed to pick up. It wasn’t much—just a few essentials, things that wouldn’t take long to prepare.

You barely noticed the people passing by, their faces blurred, their voices fading into the background like static. Laughter echoed from a nearby bar, followed by the distant sound of a car engine revving. The world kept moving, oblivious to the storm inside you.

As you approached the entrance to the apartment complex, you hesitated.

The building loomed above you, dark windows reflecting the streetlights like empty eyes staring down. You swallowed hard, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. It wasn’t fear that kept you rooted in place. It was exhaustion—the kind that seeped into your bones, making every action feel like wading through thick, invisible water.

You knew what was waiting for you inside.

Nothing.

An empty apartment. A quiet room. A cold bed. With a heavy breath, you forced yourself forward, gripping the handle and pushing the door open.

The warmth inside barely made a difference. The apartment was just as you had left it—dim, sparsely furnished, and suffocatingly quiet. The heater hummed in the background, its soft drone the only sound breaking the silence. You locked the door behind you, placing the plastic bag on the counter before shrugging off your coat.

Everything felt mechanical. You moved without thinking, going through the motions simply because you had to. The fridge opened with a quiet creak as you placed the milk inside, rearranging a few items out of habit. You set the instant ramen on the counter, along with the sandwiches you had bought, then leaned against the counter, exhaling slowly.

It wasn’t much, but it would last. At least for a few days. You glanced toward the mirror hanging by the entrance, catching your reflection in the dim light.

Same face.

Same tired eyes.

Same person.

You tugged at the hem of your oversized sweater, fingers absentmindedly smoothing over the fabric. Your stomach wasn‘t flat anymore, but still easy to hide. The loose clothing made sure of that. No one could tell just by looking at you. Not yet, anyway.

Maybe that was why it still didn’t feel real.

Even though you knew what was happening, even though you could feel the exhaustion weighing heavier each day, it still felt like something distant—something that belonged to someone else.

You turned away from the mirror. No use thinking about it.

Instead, you moved to the couch, sinking into the cushions with a quiet sigh. The silence pressed against you, thick and unrelenting. You had gotten used to it by now, but that didn’t mean it ever felt comfortable.

The loneliness had settled in like an unwelcome guest, making itself at home in every corner of the apartment.

You pulled your legs up onto the couch, wrapping your arms around your knees as you curled into yourself. The apartment felt impossibly quiet, the kind of silence that pressed against your ears, making your own thoughts sound too loud. The dim glow of the streetlights outside cast long shadows across the room, stretching over the floor and onto the walls, making everything feel distorted—unfamiliar, even after all this time.

Your gaze drifted to the coffee table in front of you, where a few crumpled receipts lay scattered next to an unopened bottle of water. That was it. Nothing else. No sign of life, no clutter, nothing that made this space feel lived in.

You should do something.

Eat. Sleep. Move. Go work.

Anything to make time pass faster, to break the endless cycle of nothingness that had settled over you. But instead, you just sat there, staring, trapped in your own mind as the seconds bled into minutes, stretching endlessly before you.

Then—

A knock at the door.

The sudden sound shattered the silence, making you jolt. Your breath caught in your throat, your muscles tensing on instinct. The apartment was too quiet for something like that—it made the knock seem impossibly loud, like it didn’t belong here.

You didn’t move at first.

Maybe you imagined it.

No one ever knocked. No one ever came here.

Except—

Another knock.

Firm. Unhurried. Patient.

Your pulse quickened, a dull pounding in your ears. Your eyes flickered toward the door, your body rigid. It was stupid, but for a moment, you considered ignoring it, as if pretending no one was there would make them leave.

But they wouldn’t. You knew that.

There was only one person who ever came here.

Suguru.

You swallowed, forcing your body to move. The couch groaned as you uncurled yourself, placing your feet on the cold floor. The air felt heavier now, pressing against your chest with every hesitant step you took toward the door.

The floorboards creaked under your weight, each sound amplified in the quiet. You hesitated when you reached the door, standing there for a second too long, your fingers hovering just above the handle.

A deep breath.

Then another.

And finally, you turned the knob, pulling the door open just enough to peer outside.

And there he was.

Suguru.

Standing in the dim light of the hallway, his dark coat draped over his shoulders, one hand in his pocket while the other one held into the plastic bag, and an unreadable expression in his sharp eyes.

For a moment, neither of you spoke.

Then—

“Hey,” he said, his voice low, steady.

And just like that, the weight in your chest shifted—if only slightly.

Your throat felt tight. “Hey.”

His gaze flickered downward, barely noticeable, but you caught it immediately. It was quick—so quick that if you weren’t paying attention, you might have missed it. But you knew exactly what he was looking for, what he was checking. Even through the oversized hoodie you wore, his eyes lingered just long enough to confirm what he already knew.

Neither of you ever talked about it, but the knowledge sat heavy between you. He had always known. From the moment you got kicked out of your parents house, he had known. And yet, despite everything, he never asked. Never pried. Never pushed you to say more than you wanted to. Maybe that was why you let him keep coming back. Because he was the only one who didn’t look at you with judgment, who didn’t ask you to explain yourself when you didn’t have the words.

“Can I come in?” His voice was calm, steady. But he was already stepping forward before you had a chance to respond, his presence pressing into the small space of the doorway.

You didn’t stop him. You simply shifted to the side, allowing him to pass. The air in the apartment changed the second he stepped inside, the silence no longer as heavy as it had been just moments ago. The loneliness didn’t disappear, but it dulled just a little, just enough to remind you what it was like to have someone around.

He moved through the space like he belonged there, like it was second nature. His hand placed down the plastic bag, and worked the buttons of his coat as he made his way toward the couch, shrugging it off effortlessly and draping it over the back of the cushions. He didn’t ask where to put it. He didn’t need to. He had lived here once. Before it became yours, before your brother stopped using it altogether. Before it turned into something else entirely—a place for you to exist in but never truly call home.

Suguru took in the room with a quiet, assessing glance, as if searching for any signs of change. There weren’t many. The apartment still carried that same impersonal emptiness, the same untouched air of a place barely lived in. You hadn’t done much to change that, except maybe placing a few toys onto the shelf for your child.

His gaze eventually returned to you, unreadable as always. He was waiting—for what, you weren’t sure. Maybe for you to say something. Maybe for some indication that you were okay. But the truth was, you weren’t sure what to say. What was there to say? Nothing had changed. You were still here, still trying to figure out what came next, still completely alone. Except, at least for now, you weren’t.

Suguru turned to look at you again, arms loosely crossed, his expression unreadable. “Have you been eating?”

The question hit like a stone dropped into still water, sending ripples through the fragile quiet that had settled between you. You tensed, fingers curling into the oversized sleeves of your sweater, the fabric bunched tightly in your grip. You hesitated for half a second before muttering, “Yeah.”

But he saw right through you. He always did. His gaze didn’t waver, didn’t soften, and when he finally spoke, it was flat, unyielding. “You’re lying.”

A sigh slipped past your lips as you rubbed your temples, already feeling the weight of the conversation pressing down. “I’m fine, Suguru.” You tried to make it sound firm, convincing, but even to your own ears, it came out weak.

He didn’t respond right away, but his silence was louder than words. Without another glance at you, he walked past, heading straight for the kitchen. You listened as he pulled open the fridge door, the faint suction sound of the seal breaking, followed by the dull clatter of a few nearly-empty bottles shifting inside.

Then the door slammed shut.

“You call this eating?” His voice carried a sharp edge, one that made irritation spike through you, replacing the dull ache of exhaustion.

You turned, arms crossing over your chest, the defensive posture coming almost instinctively. “I don’t need a lecture.”

But he wasn’t fazed. If anything, he looked even more unimpressed. “Then start taking care of yourself so I don’t have to give you one.” His tone was firm, leaving little room for argument, like he had already decided he wasn’t going to drop this.

You hated that. Hated how he spoke to you like he had the right to be concerned, like you were his responsibility. He had been like this ever since he found out—hovering, checking in, making sure you weren’t completely falling apart.

But you were. Even if you didn’t want to admit it.

Your stomach twisted uncomfortably as you glanced away, shifting on your feet. You sighed, rubbing your arms as you tried to ignore the heaviness pressing down on your chest. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Suguru tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing. “Do what?”

“Act like you’re responsible for me.”

For a moment, something flickered in his expression—too quick to decipher, too subtle to grasp. And then, with quiet certainty, he said, “I’m not acting.”

The words caught you off guard, making your breath hitch for just a second. Your lips parted, but nothing came out. You had nothing to say to that.

Suguru sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, his frustration bleeding into the silence. “Look, I’m not here to fight with you. I just—” He stopped mid-sentence, shaking his head slightly as if dismissing whatever thought had momentarily surfaced. “Never mind.”

But you knew what he wasn’t saying.

He was worried.

And the worst part? You weren’t sure if you deserved it.

You swallowed, looking away. When you spoke again, your voice was quieter, almost hesitant. “I’m fine, Suguru.”

His jaw tensed slightly. “You keep saying that.”

You had no response. Because you both knew it wasn’t true.

He exhaled sharply, running a hand down his face before shaking his head. “God, you’re so damn stubborn.”

You scoffed, arms tightening around yourself. “Look who’s talking.”

For a second, something almost like amusement flickered across his face, but it was gone just as quickly. He studied you for a moment, then glanced back toward the fridge before walking over and grabbing the unopened bottle of water from the table. He tossed it lightly in your direction.

“Drink,” he said simply.

You caught it, fingers tightening around the plastic. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” His tone left no room for argument.

Rolling your eyes, you twisted the cap off and took a sip, if only to get him off your back. The water was cold, and the feeling of it sliding down your throat reminded you just how little you had actually eaten or drunk today.

Suguru sighed again, but this time, it wasn’t sharp or frustrated. Just… tired.

“You don’t have to do this alone, you know,” he said, his voice quieter now.

Your grip tightened around the bottle.

“I know,” you lied.

He didn’t call you out on it this time.

And yet, despite the tension, despite the silence that stretched between you like an unspoken confession, you were still grateful.

Because for the first time in a long time—at least for tonight—you weren’t completely alone.

Suguru leaned against the counter, arms still crossed, his sharp eyes watching you like he was debating his next words carefully. For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of the fridge, the distant noise of traffic outside.

Then, finally, he spoke. “Have you thought about baby stuff yet?”

You stiffened, your fingers still curled around the water bottle. “What?”

“You know.” He gestured vaguely with one hand. “Crib. Clothes. Stroller. All that.”

The words sent a shiver through you, an immediate reminder of the reality you kept trying to push to the back of your mind. You hadn’t thought about it. Not really. You bought a few plushies but that’s all. Every time you wanted to buy something more, your brain shut down. It was too much. Or too expensive.

Your silence was answer enough.

Suguru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he studied you. His expression wasn’t annoyed, but there was a weight to it—like he had already expected this answer but had still hoped for something different.

“You can’t just ignore it forever,” he said, voice firm but not unkind.

“I’m not ignoring it,” you muttered, gripping the water bottle tighter.

Suguru scoffed. “Really? Then where’s the crib?”

You exhaled sharply, looking away. “I’ll get to it.”

“When?”

The question hung in the air, and you hated how you didn’t have an answer. The truth was, you didn’t even know where to start. Every time you tried to imagine yourself shopping for baby things, walking through aisles of tiny clothes and bottles and strollers, a crushing sense of dread filled your chest.

Suguru must have seen something in your face because his stance softened slightly. “Look, I get it. It’s overwhelming. But the longer you wait, the harder it’s gonna be.”

You swallowed, staring at the floor. “I don’t even know what I need.”

“Then I’ll help,” he said simply.

That made you lift your head. “What?”

“I’ll help,” he repeated, pushing off the counter. “We’ll go baby shopping. Pick out the basics. It doesn’t have to be today, but soon. And we’ll figure out the crib situation too.”

You stared at him, unsure what to say. Suguru wasn’t the type to throw around empty offers, but you hadn’t expected this.

“…Why?” The word slipped out before you could stop it.

He frowned. “What do you mean, why?”

“You don’t have to do this,” you said quietly. “This isn’t your responsibility.”

Suguru’s gaze darkened slightly, like the words annoyed him, but instead of snapping, he just exhaled through his nose. “Maybe not. But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna sit back and watch you drown either.”

Something about the way he said it made your throat tighten. You had no idea what you had done to deserve his kindness, but for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel completely alone in this.

“…Okay,” you murmured after a long pause. “We’ll go.”

Suguru nodded like that was all he needed to hear. “Good. I’ll send you some lists later so you can look through them first. We don’t have to get everything at once.”

You nodded absently, processing his words, but your mind was already spiraling. Baby shopping. Buying a crib. Preparing for a future that still felt impossible.

For the first time, it felt like things were really moving forward.

The sound of sneakers scuffing against the tiled floors filled the hallway as students moved between classes, their voices blending into an indistinct hum. Suguru barely paid attention to the noise, his mind elsewhere.

He leaned against his locker, arms crossed, his expression neutral but his thoughts anything but. Ever since he found out about her situation, he had been feeling… off. He wasn’t sure how to describe it—frustration, worry, a sense of obligation he couldn’t shake. She had always been independent, always kept her struggles to herself, and yet now she was in a situation where she shouldn’t have to be alone.

But she was.

And he was the only one who seemed to care.

Suguru wasn’t naive. He knew people in this school—their school—loved to talk, to whisper, to spread rumors. He had already overheard fragments of conversations.

“She just disappeared.”

“Did something happen?”

“She probably dropped out.”

“Good riddance.”

The last one had made his jaw clench.

Suguru exhaled sharply, pushing himself off the locker. He had been thinking about her a lot lately—the baby, the things she would need, the reality of what was coming. It wasn’t like she had anyone else to help her figure it out.

“You look deep in thought.”

A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he turned to see Shoko standing nearby. She leaned against the lockers, watching him with mild amusement.

he scoffed. “I always look deep in thought.”

Shoko smirked. “Yeah, but this time you look like you’re thinking a little too hard. What’s up?”

He hesitated. He hadn’t told anyone—not about her, not about the baby, nothing. It wasn’t his secret to share. But that didn’t mean the weight of it wasn’t getting to him.

“Nothing,” he finally said, shrugging.

Shoko raised an eyebrow but didn’t push. Instead, sighed before speaking again. “You going to that party this weekend?”

Suguru shook his head. “No.”

She gave him a curious look. “You? Skipping a party? That’s new.”

He didn’t respond. Instead, his gaze flickered down the hallway, landing on the familiar figure of his best friend. Gojo was in the middle of a group, grinning like he always did, throwing an arm around some girl’s shoulders as if the world was his to play with. He was laughing—loud, carefree, like nothing had changed.

And that was the problem.

Ever since she stopped coming to school, things had felt… off. At first, it had been subtle, something he only noticed in passing. A name missing from attendance. A glance toward an empty desk. But as the days turned into months, as she faded from the halls entirely, he realized something else—something that didn’t sit right with him.

Satoru.

Suguru had known Satoru for years. He knew his habits, his tells, the little things most people overlooked. And before, when she missed school for too long, Satoru would eventually bring her up. Not in any way that stood out—not with obvious concern or anything—but he’d mention her. A passing comment. A joke about her slacking off. A lazy, “Hey, your sister’s skipping again?” Something.

But now?

Nothing.

Suguru had waited, giving it time, expecting Satoru to ask about her at some point. He never did not even after 6 months.

And when Suguru tried to bring her up himself—casually, just a joke perhaps. Satoru would brush right past it, like he hadn’t heard him at all.

The first time, Suguru let it go. Maybe he was just distracted.

The second time, he took note of it.

The third time, he started paying closer attention.

Each time he mentioned her name, there was a barely noticeable shift in satoru‘s expression. A flicker of something—something Suguru couldn’t quite place—before his usual grin slid back into place. Like a mask snapping into position.

And that silence? It felt deliberate.

Suguru’s jaw tensed as he watched Satoru now, the way he threw his head back laughing, the way he carried himself so easily, like nothing in the world could bother him.

But something was bothering him.

He could feel it, that nagging feeling at the back of his mind, telling him that something wasn’t right. She never talked about him anymore. She never even said his name. And for someone as infuriating as Satoru, that alone was unusual.

He didn’t know what it meant yet. He didn’t know if it even did mean something.

But the uneasy feeling wouldn’t go away.

A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“What, did Satoru piss you off again?”

Shoko. She had sidled up next to him, her hands stuffed into her pockets, her sharp eyes scanning his face like she could see what he was thinking.

He clicked his tongue, rolling his shoulders back. “When does he not?”

She snorted. “Fair point.”

He didn’t say anything else, just adjusted his bag over his shoulder and started walking.

Shoko fell into step beside him, throwing him a sideways glance. “Try not to overthink yourself into an early grave, will you?”

He didn’t answer.

Because right now, overthinking was the only thing keeping him from shaking the feeling that something was wrong.

The door clicked shut behind Suguru, and the silence rushed back in like a wave, swallowing the apartment whole.

You stayed still for a moment, staring at the empty space where he had just stood. The lingering warmth of his presence clashed with the cold reality settling deep in your bones.

Baby shopping.

The words echoed in your head, strange and foreign. Like they belonged to someone else’s life, not yours.

You pressed a hand to your stomach, fingers curling slightly against the fabric of your sweater. Suguru meant well. He always did. And part of you hated that—hated that he was trying so hard to take responsibility for something that wasn’t his burden to carry.

But what else could he do? He didn’t know the whole story.

He didn’t know who the father was.

He didn’t know what Gojo had done.

Your stomach twisted at the thought, nausea curling up the back of your throat. You pressed your palm harder against the fabric, as if that could somehow ground you, as if that could stop the flood of memories threatening to drown you.

Gojo.

You hadn’t spoken to him since that day. You hadn’t seen him in months. And yet, somehow, he still haunted you—lingering in the corners of your mind like a stain you couldn’t scrub out.

Suguru was wrong.

This wasn’t something you could just prepare for.

No amount of shopping or planning or well-meaning support could change the fact that this wasn’t supposed to happen. That this wasn’t fair.

Your throat felt tight, like something was lodged there, something heavy and impossible to swallow.

You turned away from the door, walking back toward the couch on unsteady legs. The apartment felt too quiet again, too empty.

A part of you wanted to reach for your phone, to text Suguru, to tell him you’d changed your mind. That you couldn’t do this. That you didn’t want to go out and pretend like this was just a normal pregnancy, like it was something you had wanted, like this was just another step in your life.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you curled up on the couch, pulling a blanket over your shoulders, staring blankly at the opened bottle of water on the table.

The next day arrived sooner than you would have liked.

You barely slept.

The night had been a mess of tossing and turning, your mind refusing to shut off. Every time you closed your eyes, your thoughts spiraled back to the same inescapable truth—you were having a baby. And today, Suguru wanted to take you shopping, as if that would somehow make it all feel normal.

But nothing about this felt normal.

You stood in front of the mirror that morning, fingers gripping the hem of your oversized hoodie, tugging it down as far as it would go. The fabric bunched slightly under your hands before settling back into place, concealing everything underneath. You exhaled, slow and steady, tilting your head to the side as your gaze flickered downward, scanning your reflection with sharp, scrutinizing eyes.

Then—

A knock at the door.

The sudden noise cut through the stillness of your apartment, making you flinch. You turned your head slightly, staring toward the closed door, heartbeat quickening.

Suguru was here.

Already?

You blinked, caught off guard. Had time really gone by that quickly? It felt like just minutes ago that you were standing in this same spot, thinking about how he had been here the night before. And now he was back again, ready to take you baby shopping, as if this was some ordinary outing instead of the suffocating reality you were being forced to accept.

Your eyes drifted toward the clock hanging on the wall.

11:34 AM.

You frowned slightly. It was late enough that the city outside would already be bustling, the streets filled with people going about their day, completely unaware of the storm brewing inside you.

You took a deep breath, trying to shake the strange feeling that time was slipping through your fingers, moving too fast for you to keep up.

But it didn’t matter.

Suguru was here.

And whether you were ready or not, today was happening.

You exhaled slowly, forcing yourself to move. Standing here, lost in your thoughts, wasn’t going to change anything. The knock came again, a little firmer this time, and you knew Suguru was probably getting impatient.

With one last glance at your reflection—one last reassurance that nothing showed—you turned on your heel and made your way to the door (not before putting on your jacket). Your fingers hesitated on the knob for just a second before you pulled it open.

Suguru stood there, dressed in a dark grey hoodie, black jacket and jeans, looking as casual as ever. His sharp eyes scanned over you quickly, assessing, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he just lifted a brow.

“You ready?”

You swallowed, gripping the edge of the door. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Suguru hummed, stepping back to let you lock the apartment behind you. As the two of you made your way down the hallway, the silence felt heavy—not awkward, just filled with something unspoken.

It wasn’t until you reached his car that he finally spoke again.

“You eat yet?”

You sighed. “Suguru.”

“What?” He opened the passenger side door for you before walking around to his own. “I’m just asking.”

You slid into the seat, clicking your seatbelt into place. “I ate.” It wasn’t a complete lie—if a couple of crackers counted.

Suguru didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push, just started the car and pulled out onto the road.

The drive was quiet, the city passing by in a blur of buildings and people. You kept your gaze fixed on the window, watching the movement outside, trying to push away the nerves crawling up your spine.

Baby shopping.

You still couldn’t wrap your head around it.

Suguru had mentioned it so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world, like it wasn’t a reminder of everything you’d been trying not to think about. But now, sitting in the car, heading toward a store filled with things meant for a baby—your baby—it was impossible to ignore.

After a while, Suguru broke the silence.

“So, what do we actually need to get today?”

You let out a slow breath, fingers tightening in your lap. “I don’t know.”

Suguru glanced at you. “Well, we’re getting a crib for sure.”

You swallowed. “Right.”

“And clothes. And bottles. And whatever else babies need.”

Your stomach churned. The list was already too much.

Suguru must have noticed your expression, because he sighed. “Look, I know this is overwhelming.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “That’s an understatement.”

He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “We’ll just take it one step at a time, alright?”

You didn’t answer. Because one step at a time still meant walking toward something you weren’t sure you were ready for.

When you arrived at the store, you hesitated at the entrance.

The automatic doors slid open with a soft whoosh, revealing rows and rows of baby supplies—cribs, strollers, clothes so tiny they looked unreal. The soft pastel colors and cheerful designs felt like they belonged to someone else’s life, not yours.

Suguru nudged your shoulder. “Come on.”

You took a step forward, following him inside, your movements stiff. The moment you entered, the atmosphere swallowed you whole—parents browsing, employees chatting, soft music playing overhead. Everything felt too real.

Suguru walked ahead, making a beeline toward the cribs. You trailed behind, feeling out of place among all the expecting mothers who looked excited to be here.

You weren’t excited.

You didn’t even know what you were supposed to be looking for.

Suguru, on the other hand, seemed perfectly fine. He ran a hand over one of the cribs, inspecting it like he actually knew what he was doing.

“This one looks sturdy,” he said, knocking against the frame.

You stared at him. “You sound like you’ve done this before.”

Suguru smirked. “I do my research.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Of course you do.”

After a moment, he gave you a look. “What about you? Any preferences?”

You looked at the cribs, at the neatly arranged nursery sets, at the price tags that made your stomach twist.

“I don’t know,” you admitted.

Suguru nodded like he expected that answer. “Alright. We’ll find one together.”

And just like that, he started going through the options, testing them out, asking you what you thought. He never rushed you, never made you feel like you had to choose something.

Little by little, the tension in your shoulders eased.

Maybe, just maybe, you weren’t completely alone in this after all.

You ran your fingers over the smooth edge of a crib, your mind still foggy from everything around you. The store was filled with cheerful pastels, tiny clothes folded neatly on display, and stuffed animals lined up like they were waiting for someone to take them home. Everything about this place felt too bright, too warm—too hopeful for someone like you.

Suguru was still focused on the crib selection, pressing down on the mattress of one, testing the sturdiness of another. He seemed oddly comfortable here, like he had been preparing for this moment far longer than you had.

“You’re supposed to check if the bars are too far apart,” he muttered, running his fingers between them. “So the baby doesn’t get their head stuck.”

You blinked at him. “Since when did you know so much about baby stuff?”

Suguru didn’t even look at you when he replied. “Google.”

That actually made you let out a small laugh. “You’ve been Googling baby things?”

He shrugged, setting the car seat back on the shelf. “If we’re gonna do this, we might as well do it right.”

We.

The word sat heavy in your chest. You knew he meant it in a practical way, in the way a responsible older brother would. But something about it made you feel like you were holding onto a lifeline, like maybe you weren’t entirely alone in this.

Still, the reality of everything crept back in as you wandered toward the clothing section. You hadn’t really thought about it before—not the clothes, not the blankets, not the fact that soon, there would be a tiny person who needed all of these things.

Your fingers brushed against a small yellow onesie, the fabric impossibly soft beneath your touch. You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the lump forming in your throat. Could you really do this? Could you bring a child into your life when you could barely take care of yourself?

“You okay?”

Suguru’s voice snapped you back to the present, and you quickly dropped your hand to your side. “Yeah.”

He didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push. Instead, he grabbed a pack of baby socks and tossed them into the cart. “They’ll need these, right?”

You nodded, grateful that he was keeping things moving.

For the next hour, the two of you wandered through the store, picking out essentials—bottles, blankets, diapers, things you wouldn’t have even thought about if Suguru weren’t there. He moved methodically, as if he had a checklist in his head, while you mostly followed along, letting him lead.

You were staring blankly at a shelf of baby wipes when his voice cut through the air—careful, deliberate.

“So… what about the father?”

Your whole body stiffened.

The air in the store felt different, heavier, as if the walls had suddenly closed in. The noise around you faded, distant chatter blending into the hum of the overhead lights.

Suguru wasn’t looking at you. He was pretending to examine a pack of pacifiers, but his voice was too casual, too measured. Like he had been waiting to ask this. Which you guess he did. You two never talked about the father.

You swallowed, gripping the cart handle a little tighter. “What about him?”

Suguru sighed, turning to fully face you. His expression wasn’t accusing, but there was something in his eyes—something searching. “You never talk about him.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“That’s bullshit.” His voice was steady, but not unkind. “He knows, right?”

Your nails pressed into your palm. “Suguru—”

“Does he?”

You inhaled slowly, trying to keep your voice even. “It doesn’t matter.”

Suguru just stood there, waiting. He wasn’t the type to let things go easily, and you could feel the weight of his stare, pressing down on you, looking for the cracks in your walls.

For a second, you considered telling him. Just blurting everything out, letting the truth spill into the empty space between you.

But you didn’t.

Because saying it out loud would make it real. So instead, you did what you always did. You deflected. Keeping it all to yourself.

“It’s not important,” you said, reaching for a pack of bibs and dropping them into the cart. “Can we just finish shopping?”

Suguru didn’t move. His fingers twitched at his side, like he was debating whether or not to push.

For a moment, you thought he actually would. But then he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Fine. But you do know that we‘ll have to have this conversation sooner or later—”

„Yes“

The conversation ended there, but you both knew this wasn’t over. Because Suguru wasn’t stupid. And sooner or later, he was going to start asking the real questions.

But first— baby shopping.

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