#jsdhjsdh im so embarrassed abt this post

[knbposting]

i've been trying to avoid this for a long time because i don't want to get hit with the allegations (insane) but hear me out. knb playing bg3 hcs. this is stupid.

kagami - i think kagami would love karlach best and he'd probably play her if he couldn't make a custom character (and if he ever played video games, which he doesn't). i think he loves the fire stuff, loves the barb, loves how badass she is, loves her attitude. he's a stan. but in terms of romancing people, i think he'd romance wyll because wyll is badass AND kind. and he relates A LIIIIITTLEEEEE BITTTTTTTT TOOO MUCH TO DISCUSS WITH ANYONE :) to the Paternal Problems wyll goes through i think. so he becomes a number 1 wyll defender.

kagami doesn't like shadowheart because he finds her secrecy frustrating and he doesn't have time to deal with her. he likes lae'zel because she's practical even if she is kinda brash (he appreciates that). shut up gale. fuck off astarion. halsin is fine, no big emotions either way. he doesn't even know you can recruit minthara until told much later on.

aomine - shadowmancer born and raised baby. he finds her annoying at first but it interests him, and he's like "fuck you i'm going to find out your secrets eventually, bitch" and that's that!!!! he likes lae'zel, thinks karlach is basically kagami so therefore refuses to confirm or deny if he likes her. shut the fuck up gale. shut up astarion, what do you mean you approve of that? oh lmao that was kind of funny actually. ok astarion you're alright. wyll is fine. recruits minthara. shut up halsin.

momoi - babies astarion because he reminds her of aomine in ways she refuses to elaborate on (and which doesn't make sense to the man himself). romances gale because she loves how nerdy he is and how he just knows everything about everything!!! intel KING! doesn't like lae'zel because she's noisy. karlach is fine. shadowheart is fine. wyll is super nice and she felt so bad about dancing with him and then turning him down :( halsin is yummy and she considers leaving gale to be with him. minthara is dead but on the multi-player game she has with aomine, they recruit her and her character romances her and they absolutely SCREAM at the cutscene. you know the one. that cutscene. she's trying to skip through and aomine's keeping the remote out of reach.

kise - astarionmancer and refuses to accept that there's any other way to play this game. that vampire is his MAN and there's nothing more to say on the matter!!!!!! he murders kagha at the grove but also misses out on saving halsin because he was fucking around in act 1 so :/ he doesn't recruit minthara. he loves shadowheart, loves lae'zel, loves wyll, gale is fine. karlach is fine. karlach reminds him of aomine (and he loves her). he and kagami have a multi-player game together and it's chaotic but good aligned. kise convinces kagami to hear astarion out. kise plays a durge in this pt and kagami is so glad he doesnt have to make any of those bloody decisions. he also loved the cute bard idr her name but hes >>:O when she... you know... durges it up.

midorima - he likes gale best but he isn't interested in romancing anyone. astarion is annoying. halsin is extremely annoying. karlach is noisy. lae'zel is not allowed on any missions because he cannot tolerate her. wyll is fine (he's a main). shadowheart can actually die. doesn't recruit minthara, doesn't care about halsin or the druids. he's studying medicine but he doesn't have any interest in the healers... interesting stuff.

takao - his multi-player game with mido is so dry because he just lets mido make all the decisions :/ like OKAY we won't take lae'zel out. FINE. i don't care. he does decide that his character is a druid bc he knows how mido feels about halsin, and insists that his character would want to work with him. midorima allows this. in his personal game tho takao is a rogue who talks a lotttt of shit. he likes astarion and minthara and has a high chaos run just for fun. his character is probably evil aligned bc he's having to be good aligned with mido's pt.

kuroko - loves wyll, stands by him through anything. doesn't like astarion, shadowheart, or gale. he picks lae'zel to follow primarily and essentially plays act 1 like she's the main character and his is just a side character (a... shadow...). he misses out on saving halsin. he doesn't romance anyone in the game. he has a multi with kagami momoi and aomine and it's a complete disaster. kagami wants to steam ahead to get karlach even tho he can't bring her in his party, aomine is making his busty tiefling character wander around in lae'zel's bdsm underwear because it's a "design choice". momoi is info-dumping about gale. kuroko basically doesn't get a word in but leads the group through thick and thin. kise joins when aomine cba that day and things go SO MUCH SMOOTHER.

akashi - starts playing but decides he doesn't like the lack of control he has. what do you mean he can't be a devil? let him be a devil. he wants to coerce people into making DASTARDLY DEALS with him. he is also an atrocious backseat driver with other people's games if he watches and though he mostly doesn't speak, he makes these little "hm." noises of disapproval when the person he's watching makes a choice. just PLAY THE GAME akashi oh my god