#jschlatt the man that you are

[lettucing]

guys. Guys

[trentonsociety]

Beautiful gorgeous man

[memento-rory]

✭ 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐭. 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐚, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃.

✭ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and ted get a little too close for schlatt’s comfort at the club, and you finally tell someone what happened between you and schlatt all those months ago.

✭ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: a little ted x reader and a steamy dance scene.

✭ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: ~3k

✭ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i realize that i’ve taken four chapters to get through one entire day, and i hope y’all are cool with that lmao. i’m sure it will keep happening again. a week was a little ambitious, but fiwb. no beta, we die like men here. (if you ever see a mistake, you are legally obligated to tell me.) enjoy! 🩵

Blue and purple lights illuminate a steady swirl of fog coming out of machines near the DJ’s stage, the bass of the loud music completely overtaking all of your senses. You can feel the reverb under your skin, and the hairs on your arm stand at attention. The dance floor toward the front of the building is full of bodies, so many people dancing all their cares away.

“I’m gonna get you beautiful ladies a round of shots!” James yells as he pokes his head in between you and Amelia. “You find us a place to chill!”

Amelia takes your hand and leads you through the crowds of people standing around and talking, weaving your way around the large space, before finally finding a table big enough to house your entire party. You scoot into the booth with Amelia close behind you, grinning over at her, already absolutely buzzing about the night you’re about to have.

James had been sure that Ted and Schlatt would have shown up by the time he got back to the table with shots, but he’s wrong, so he offers you and Amelia the two extra shots. You down them, grimacing as the shot burns all the way down. James has also gone ahead and ordered your favorite drink, which you sip on as you wait for Ted and Schlatt to arrive. Amelia and James take to the floor, dragging you along with them.

You sway along to the music, the alcohol already beginning to course through your veins. It’s been a while since you’ve drank, since you’ve really let loose. The last time was… well… you don’t want to dwell on it.

Ted stands in front of the mirror, running his hand through his hair once, twice, three times, trying to get it perfect. He adjusts the string of pearls around his neck, the rings on his fingers. He catches Schlatt’s eyes in the mirror, quirking an eyebrow at the scowl on his face.

“Dude, you look fine, can we fuckin’ go?” Schlatt says, half-laying on the bed, “You’re taking fuckin’ forever.”

“Fuckin’… sue me for wanting look nice,” Ted laughs at Schlatt’s impatience. “Did you see how good (Y/N) looks?”

Schlatt bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head, “Barely even looked at her, man.” The lie slips out of his mouth so easily, and he’s glad Ted is none the wiser.

“Well, I looked at her. Got a realll good look,” Ted shoots Schlatt a pointed look, before returning to his preening, “Can’t look like some kinda chump next to her.”

Schlatt rolls his eyes, his skin heating up at Ted’s words. He tries to ignore the feeling, but something comes over him.

“You’re not her type, man.” Schlatt says casually, before he can stop it. Ted thinks Schlatt’s just trying to get a rise out of him, so he only laughs, unbothered by Schlatt’s statement.

“Guess there’s only one way to find out.”

It’s difficult, but for once, Schlatt keeps his thoughts to himself.

You’re two shots and one fruity little drink deep when Schlatt and Ted finally show up. Amelia and James are still out on the dance floor, but you’re at the bar ordering another round of drinks and shots for Ted and Schlatt after they’d texted they were on their way.

When you spot Ted and Schlatt looking for your group, you lift a hand up, waving them over. Ted beams as he catches your eye, sauntering over to the bar, with Schlatt close behind.

“Hey, hot stuff,” Ted sidles up to you at the bar, looming over you, punctuating his greeting with a cheeky wink. “Come here often?” He asks, intentionally deepening his voice to draw a laugh from you. It works, causing you to giggle at him. (Ted’s always been funny, but he’s even funnier now that you’re tipsy.)

“Shut up,” You laugh, rolling your eyes at him. You think you catch Schlatt doing the same out of the corner of your eye, but you can’t be sure. “I ordered your drinks. You’ve got some catching up to do.”

“Yeah?” Ted smiles mischievously down at you, “Are you feelin’ it?”

“I’m feelin’ it,” You confirm with a carefree laugh, nodding your head.

As if on cue, the bartender serves up your shots and Ted and Schlatt’s drinks. “Take my shot,” You tell Ted, handing the small glass over to him, “I’ve gotta pace myself or shit’s gonna go south real fast.” You giggle.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Ted grins, downing the two shots with ease, grimacing slightly. He turns to pass Schlatt a shot and his drink, but Schlatt’s already on the other side of the club, talking to Amelia and James.

Ted merely shrugs and so do you. How are you supposed to care when Ted is standing in front of you, playfully flirting with you while looking absolutely delicious?

“Are you having fun?” Ted asks you, watching you intently as you wrap your lips around the straw in your drink.

“Not yet,” You smirk at him, the alcohol in your system granting you a new kind of confidence, “I was waiting for you to get here.”

Ted’s eyes light up at your statement. “Yeah?” He asks, with a sly grin. He looks like he’s up to no good, and you’re eating it up. “Let me show you a good time.”

Ted downs his drink, before taking your hand in his, leading you out onto the dance floor. You abandon the rest of your drink at the bar, not particularly caring about it at the moment.

Once you hit the dance floor, Ted raises your hand in the air, gracefully spinning you. When you face him again, he drops your hand onto his shoulder, using his other hand to pull you closer to him by your waist. You’re nearly pressed against him, swaying along to the music, with Ted’s firm grip on your waist. The energy in the room is fucking electric, and it only makes you bolder. You turn around, your back up against Ted’s chest. One of your arms snakes up behind you to rest your hand at the back of his neck, and you slowly drag yourself down against him, swaying your hips. You can feel Ted’s breath on your neck as you come back up, and his hand slips underneath the hem of your shirt to rest on your bare skin.

You move your hand to rest on his cheek, holding him close to you. As you touch him, his grip on your skin grows even tighter, and you hear him sigh against your ear. The sound sends a shiver down your spine.

Ted lets you lead, his body moving in tandem with yours, matching all the cues you give him. You can feel yourself getting lost in the music, in him. He feels so good pressed up against you, and your mind wanders as he grinds up on you to the beat. Your eyes close as you let the music flow through you.

When you open your eyes, you notice Schlatt on the other side of the dance floor. He has his eyes fixed on you while some random girl practically feels him up, gyrating against him without shame. His hand lazily rests on the girl’s back, inching dangerously close to her barely-covered ass. His eyebrow quirks just slightly as he realizes you’re watching them.

You maintain eye contact as Ted’s face draws closer to your neck, his lips just barely grazing across your skin. You let your head drop a little lower to give Ted easier access to your neck, and his fingers squeeze at your hip.

Schlatt’s demeanor changes almost imperceptibly, his expression hardening and one of his fists clenching at his side.

His eyes never leave yours, even as the girl he’s dancing with leans up to practically shove her tongue in Schlatt’s mouth. You can almost feel your blood boiling beneath your skin, a scowl forming on your face before you can stop it.

Satisfied that he’s received a reaction from you, Schlatt’s eyes flutter closed as he threads a hand into the girl’s hair, pulling her closer and unabashedly making out with her in the middle of the dance floor.

Your stomach drops and you start to feel entirely too hot under all the lights, all of the heat coming from the bodies around you threatening to suffocate you. You think about stepping off the floor for a break, just to get your wits about you again, but you don’t want to give Schlatt the satisfaction. Instead, you turn back around to face Ted, deciding to turn up the heat yourself.

Ted’s face is unbelievably close to yours as the two of you hit every beat. He’s sporting a wolf-like grin, his eyes half-lidded and staring into your own. The way he’s eyeing you makes you think you’re not alone in having inappropriate thoughts about the two of you together.

Ted has always been handsome, there’s no doubting that, but this is uncharted territory. You’ve known Ted for a good chunk of your life, he’s been one of your closest friends for as long as you can remember. You have a feeling that if you were to do anything, the two of you could be normal about it afterward. What happens at weddings stays at weddings, or whatever.

Ted’s face dips lower, and his eyes dart to your lips, then back up. You move your hand back up to rest at the base of his neck, pulling him to you to close the gap. He tastes like the drinks he downed just a while ago, and almost equally intoxicating.

“Oh, my God!” You hear Amelia yelling beside you, and Ted pulls away from you, clearly amused. Amelia covers her mouth with her hand, looking apologetic for her drunken outburst.

“Sorry, sorry, oh my god.” Amelia shouts over the music, waving her hands, “You guys keep going. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“All good, Mel,” Ted shouts back, waving his own hand dismissively, “We’ve got plenty of time to do that later.” He adds, flirtatiously.

You feel a heat pool in your abdomen at his words. Amelia looks scandalized, but ecstatic nonetheless. James is shockingly quiet beside her, and you follow his gaze to the other side of the dance floor.

Schlatt is gone.

Hours go by before the rest of you are ready to head back to the hotel.

You’ve had many drinks, and your feet hurt like a bitch from all the dancing. Ted keeps you steady as you walk back to your room, his arm around your shoulder, but he’s also fairly drunk, so the two of you are just stumbling and giggling down the hallway.

“I didn’t know you were rooming next to Schlatt.” Ted remarks as you get to your room.

“Don’t remind me.” You let out a little laugh as you fish your key card out of your purse. Once you get the door open, you look over at Ted, who is just watching you with a hopeful look that he’s too drunk to hide on his face.

“Did you wanna come in?” You ask him, “Maybe have a glass of champagne on the balcony?”

Ted’s eyes light up. “Fuck yeah I do.”

You give him a smile and gesture for him to follow you inside, letting the door click shut behind you.

You plop down onto your bed, eager to get your heels off, but as you fiddle with the buckle, you realize you’re a little too drunk to get them off. You huff out a sigh, and Ted laughs, making his way over to you.

“C’mon,” Ted says as he stands in front of you, motioning for you to lift your leg up to him, “Lemme help.”

You raise your leg up, and Ted guides your foot to rest on his stomach so he has better access to the buckles of your heels. He unbuckles one slowly, moving his hand to your calf to let your leg drop gently, before doing the same with the other one. His touch lingers on your other leg, and he smiles down at you, like he’s just waiting for another chance to kiss you.

You find yourself thinking about Schlatt just next door. Part of you doesn’t give a shit, but another part of you wonders if it would be fucked up to fuck his friend where he could easily hear it.

Another part of you wishes it was him.

Clearing your throat to cut through the tension between you and Ted, you stand up from the bed, making your way to the minibar. “How about that drink?” You suggest, grabbing a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

The cool air coming off of the ocean hits your face as you step out onto the balcony, immediately putting you more at ease. As you sit down at the table, you notice that Schlatt’s lights are still on, spilling out between the curtains in his room. You can just barely see him through the gap, and a terrible thought hits you: Is he alone? Had he left with that girl from earlier?

“Oh, good, Schlatt’s still up,” Ted comments, grabbing his phone from his pocket, “I’d love to get into something more comfortable. I’m gonna ask him to toss me some clothes.”

Ted shoots off a text that you both see Schlatt read, and he looks up to see the two of you watching him from outside. He gets up, and you nearly gulp as you notice he’s only in his boxer briefs. He shows no intention of getting Ted’s things, and instead, closes the curtains with a look on his face that you can’t place. You both watch as his lights go out. Well, you think bitterly, at least he’s alone.

“What the fuck?” Ted scoffs, looking over at you.

You release a heavy sigh. “That’s probably my fault.”

“In what world would that be your fault?” Ted kind of laughs, but he stops as you lean back in your chair, looking a little dejected. It’s not fair for Schlatt to be mad at Ted, to treat him this way just because of you.

You wonder how to even begin to explain the situation to Ted. He notices how you struggle, and immediately starts to pour you a glass of champagne.

You give him a soft smile as he hands you the glass.

“What happened?” Ted asks softly, leaning back in his own chair, giving you the floor.

You sigh again before diving into the story. “Schlatt and I were together… for a while.”

“What?” Ted exclaims, obviously shocked. “When?”

“It was, like, a year ago,” You answer, taking a sip of the champagne. “We hooked up after Jasper’s birthday party. When the party started to wind down, we got to talking and, well, one thing led to another… It was good for, like, a month, and then all of a sudden he just… ghosted, so I don’t know why he’s so pressed now, but he is.”

“Fuuuck,” Ted commiserates with you, shaking his head. “Are you still into him?” He asks, this time as your friend, not as someone who was just about to get to hook up with you.

Had you not been drinking, you might answer differently, but with your inhibitions out the window and a kind ear being lent to you, you decide to be honest.

“Yeah, kinda.” You tell Ted, “I thought I was over it but being here with him, being in his presence at all hours of the day… it all just came back, I think.”

“So why don’t you do something about it?”

“He ghosted me. I’m not about to go back to him with my tail between my legs, hoping he’ll change his mind.”

“(Y/N), he just locked me out of my room for the night because he saw us kiss earlier.” Ted says, “Clearly he’s still feeling something for you.”

You shake your head. Ted doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know how many texts you sent, how much you cried, how hard it was to watch Schlatt act like nothing ever happened between the two of you. You’d opened yourself up to him, just for him to disappear.

“I can’t, Ted.” You finally say, taking another drink. “You can stay with me tonight, if you want. It’s my fault you’re wrapped up in this now, too.”

“Hey, I kissed you, so I’m complicit too.” Ted smiles warmly over at you, “He’ll get over it. Don’t let him bother you.”

“I’m really sorry the night turned out like this,” You can’t help the apology that spills from you, “I know you were hoping for… something else.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Ted waves a hand dismissively, fully unbothered that you’ve changed your mind about hooking up with him, “I wasn’t expecting anything. I’m having a good time either way, I promise.”

A comfortable silence settles over the two of you as you finish your drinks, just marinating in the milky glow of the moon over the ocean, enjoying the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.

“You got anything I can sleep in?” Ted finally asks, and you grin over at him.

“I have a cute little pink PJ set that you’d look real cute in.” You tease, and Ted rolls his eyes, laughing.

“God, nevermind.”

You let out a cackle at his response, feeling much better than you had just moments ago. It feels good to finally tell someone what happened with Schlatt. You let yourself bask in the comfort of it all, because you know that once tomorrow comes, you’re in for some more torture when Schlatt finds out Ted stayed with you for the night.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 ✭ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 →

[wuishu]

She's everything. He's just Ken

(I love the Barbie movie so much)

“WHAT THE FUCK? I AM DONE WITH THIS GAME. I don't wanna do this anymore!” he whined while covering his face in frustration. Despite his efforts to work his way out of his enormous debt by streaming another truck sim, he still failed miserably. He was not really angry, he was just putting on a show. He was also getting tired, and doing this stunt made his end stream funnier. 

“Alright, I’m done. I’ll read your donations, and then end stream.”

Finishing his late-night stream, he couldn't wait to just rest with his girlfriend on a couch, watching movies until their eyes fell​​. He sighed and walked towards your recording room. You were currently streaming a game that wasn't a sweat-inducing game, but a chill game. Talking to chat while reading donations, you were getting comfortable when you heard your door open.

“I’m still streaming.” You moved your mic away from your mouth and looked at Schlatt. He hummed, indicating that he heard you. Your relationship was public, but people seeing you together in a stream was new to you. He was different on his channel, the usual crazy, anger-issued guy who has odd humor; he showed your viewer that he’s different when you're together. 

“Hey, Y/N’s chat” He waved his hand at your camera and smile, he found a wooden chair near you and pushed it next to you so they would see him on your stream. The chair was a bit small compared to you, but he still looks bigger. “What are you playing right now?” he asked you, handing him your other bud to let him hear the relaxing background music. 

You slowly swerved your chair, so you could be close to him. “It’s hidden folks. It’s like where's Waldo but listen” You pressed the chest and a man used his voice to imitate the sound of a chest opening. “Oh wow, not weird at all” he smiled

“It’s not weird, I think it’s cute that they're using their vocals for the game” He nodded and looked at your monitor, trying to help you find the things that you needed to win. You on the other hand, watched your chat roll looking at what they thought. He held your hand and moved the mouse to hover over a person. “There, that little shit hiding in the bush.” 

‘Well, you look at that chat. What a helpful man” 

After about half an hour has passed, he was getting so tired of helping you that you gave up and talked to your chat. Slowly he laid his head on your shoulder and also answering some of chats questions. You placed your hand on his hair and patted it like a cat. “Yeah, we wanted to watch the Barbie movie, but our free time rarely collides.” You didn't realize that Schlatt was falling asleep because of how soothing your voice was and how gentle you are at massaging his scalp. 

: Your ken is falling asleep

You slowly looked at your screen that opened your stream. You can see his eyes closed while he is silently snoring. “My ken is asleep… Alright, chat. I think we're gonna head out. I’ll see you guys on Monday,” you whispered. 

You woke Schlatt up to let him know that the stream had ended, he walked to your shared bathroom and started brushing his teeth. After doing everything he needed he lay down, and made himself feel comfortable in bed. You did your nightly routine while scrolling through Twitter, you noticed a screenshot of your stream earlier and a picture of Ken placing his head on Barbie's shoulder and clinging onto her for dear life and the caption was “They're literally Barbie and Ken”. You giggled while brushing your hair.

"Babe, are you awake?” he hummed quietly. You got on the bed and suddenly a hand was wrapped around your waist.

“We should totally watch the new movie Barbie tomorrow.” 

[nvmadic]

i feel like drunk schlatt probably gives you the most intense eye contact ever. just staring deeply into your soul with a smile whilst you're rambling on about things. his eyes drifting down to your lips. asking you questions whilst he sips at his whiskey, every part of him loving how you're trying to suppress how flustered you are. he'd probably touch your arm whilst he laughs, reaching over for any physical contact. hand pressed against the small of your back, leaning down to hear you over the noise.

[blobee]

Brrrrrbbbbrrrrrr

*I made it a bit lighter

[e1izaaxkles]

saw you wanted anons and i’m here to volunteer <3

i’ve been having a lot of schlatt brainrot lately and specially the fact i’m a firm believer in him acting like a child when he’s sick

here’s an example;

jay had developed a fever after hanging out with some friends of his, whining all morning every time you would leave the bed to get him medicine, water, food, etc.

when you offered him the medicine he practically refused to take it, not until you promised him a kiss that is

“yes, jay, i’ll kiss you.”

“you better..”

he is constantly complaining about being to hot, cold, his stomach hurting, feeling a headache starting, everything he can complain about, he’s complaining about.

“jay, you’re sick.”

“but i don’t want my head to hurt!”

definitely begs for you to keep the cats in bed with him and curses at them anytime they leave to get food, but immediately apologizes when they finally come back to him

enjoy my thoughts<3

- 🎞️ anon(?)

Hi, 🎞️ anon!

Ugh I 100% agree with you!!! He def wouldn’t want liquid medicine either. He’s just so childish but it’s adorable. And if you don’t give him a kiss he’ll turn his head away like a toddler not wanting food if you try and give him medicine.

[rabbitsrams]

ur schlatt x tummy!reader made me FERAL.. what about reader who loves schlatts tummy and thighs!!

anon. you read my mind. oh my god.

because yes. you absolutely adore his body. no questions asked.

you always like to put a hand on his thighs especially if he's sitting down. his skin is so soft and so squishy aaaaa you can't get enough ):

laying your head on his thighs <3333 omg <3333

"you comfortable down there?"

"always."

wanting to sit on his lap all the time just bc you wanna be closer to him <3 and also just bc his thighs are so nice under you <3

i could write a whole essay about how obsessed you are with his tummy bc.........

you love grabbing it :) like it's just so pretty!! and squish!! and so uniquely him <3

reaching underneath his shirt just to feel it barking furiously

you love laying on his chest too, it's so comfortable <3 tracing little patterns all over his pecs and downward, leaving a hand on his tummy when you fall asleep and him placing his hand over yours. omg.

it makes him feel so good seeing you loving his body :( like :(

j schlatt you are the prettiest man on the planet im so serious.

QUICK APPRECIATION POST FOR HOW HE LOOKS IN THAT SUIT!! GOD he's so stunning wearing that omg like he fills it out so nicely and you just love it whenever he wears it for a fancy streamer event or whatever <3

(mind always goes to THAT gamersupps ad cuz UGH)

grabbing his tie and placing a hand on his chest and he's just putty in your hands.

always asking for your approval whenever he dresses up in different garb than his usual sweatshirt/shorts and you always have to tell him he looks so good <3 bc he does <3

his biceps his biceps his biceps :D (im a biiiiig biceps gal so ofc i obsess unhealthily over them akdfjfjfng)

you always find some excuse to grab them and squeeze, they're just so grabbable and lovely and im lovesick okay. i love arms and i love his arms <3 and when he wears tighter t-shirts? woof. ur done for.

also u love how broad his shoulders are, naturally. idk how to explain it but ughhhh he's so BIG. and it's EVERYTHING TO you. you love it so much <3

this last part's for my fellow plus-sized besties btw

tummies touching when you hug <333333 oh my god i just need it so bad a hug from that man would fix me fr

anyway yeah alexa play that i need a big boy song by sza <3 need him so badly.

[the-wyzer]

Fragrance Man Redraw! (Origins Schlatt)

[ohworm-writes]

◧▥—JSCHLATT HEADCANONS—▥◨

PAIRING None

RATING Parental Guidance Suggested, Some Material May Not Be Suitable for Children (Limited swearing)

SYNOPSIS A random assortment of Jschlatt headcanons, nothing more and certainly nothing less. Be it of his mannerisms, likes and dislikes, preferences and whatever else may be.

WORD COUNT 1.5k 

AUTHORS NOTE I’ve been thinking about Schlatt for the past hour or so, give or take, and I’ve come up with a few random headcanons for him. I will admit, a lot of these are self serving, meaning that I made them whilst thinking of the things I do, but I do believe that, at least in my eyes and heart, that these are true and applicable to him. My favorite streamer and person in the whole wide world. <3 Yes, it’s a little different when compared to my typical works, but let me be! I want to do these for more characters, I think, so let me know your guys’ thoughts on this! I hope you enjoy. :)

His hands naturally run a little colder than most. His fingertips feel like ice, almost comparable to the feeling of touching metal after it’s been left out on its own for hours or days on end. However, he doesn’t typically notice it until his hands touch a surface that isn’t icy or cold beyond belief. At that point, he does make an effort to put his hands somewhere warm- maybe sitting on them or putting them at his sides, whichever works quickest and most effectively. 

He likes audiobooks more than physical novels. Putting hours of effort into concentrating on words alone is frustrating and boring to him. He needs constant stimulation to be able to fully take in something, so once he’s introduced to the wonderful world of audiobooks, he’s hooked. He’s very picky on who he chooses to listen to though- the voice of the person needs to be engaging, not something dry or monotone or bland, a voice that can keep his attention. Once he finds a good person to listen to, though, he’ll listen to books at every chance he gets- editing, doing a grocery store run, simply relaxing- it’s his way of winding down.

He hates vacuuming with a burning passion. Absolutely loathes it. It’s not as though the task requires much exertion or effort or anything like that, he just hates it for what it is and in its entirety. Sweeping or mopping he’s absolutely fine with, it’s just that vacuuming requires so many unnecessary steps (or so he thinks is true) such as having to first unwind the cord from the thing and then plug it in and then heave it back and forth and back and forth and back and forth across the floor. And by the time he’s reached a steady rhythm the cord is suddenly too short. It infuriates and frustrates him beyond words, and if he can get out of the chore by any means, best believe that is what he’s doing.

He likes calmer animals more as opposed to wildly energetic ones. Yes, whilst he does have Jambo as his companion, a wild little ball of energy on his own, he loves it when he can just lay down with Jambo sleeping next to him. It’s not necessarily that ‘oh, he hates energetic animals and would get rid or steer clear of one if they were energetic’, it’s just that he enjoys more tame environments than high energy ones. That being said, he loves to play rough with animals- for instance, wrestling with big dogs or playing ‘keep away’ with them, or playfully swatting at cats or something of the like. He can only do it in doses, though, because again, he likes tame environments when it comes to animals and pets.

He fucking loves dancing, like- he’s absolutely enamored with the act itself. Mind you, it’s not as though he’s a dancing professional, but the act of just letting the tune of a song determine the way one’s body sways and moves and shimmies is his favorite. He puts on little concerts of his own when he’s alone, turning his headphones on blast, playing some song that fits the mood right and using his phone as a microphone and absolutely rocking it out. 

Speaking of dancing and music in general, he really likes to dance to either older and calmer songs (smooth jazz/soul/swing and et cetera) or really high energy music (hip hop/electronic/Hi-NRG and et cetera). It depends on how he’s feeling, obviously, but if he’s particularly energetic or tense or something of the like, he’ll put on some high energy type music and just- rock his absolute heart out. I’m talking silently screaming and shouting the lyrics of a song, doing an elaborate and on-the-spot dance sequence and jumping all over the room to a song. And, on the other hand, he can slow dance to a calm, older song from time to time (think of Nat King Cole or Frankie Valli) and he’ll just jam out softly, sway from side to side or laying out on his bed, limbs sinking into the bed as he softly hums to the tune of the music. 

He deals with sensory overload of overstimulation quite often. Sometimes, an environment will just be too loud and he’ll cringe, wrinkle up his nose and either plug his ears with his fingers, cover them with his palms or put in his headphones to mentally ‘get out of there’. It’ll happen at home, too. Sometimes, everything will just feel… bad and wrong. This could include audio, visual, tactile stimulation or anything of the like- if there’s too much of something in an environment, he’ll get overwhelmed. Though, he deals with it very sparsely, as he’ll simply leave the situation or environment if he can and decompress somewhere else.

He absolutely loves to cook and bake. Now, this is not to say he’s the best at cooking, but he is competent when he’s in the kitchen and can cook more than boxed mac and cheese or plain eggs, of which can, at times, be a bit tricky to make. Nonetheless, he really enjoys cooking and making something new, so if he sees a recipe that looks interesting online or from someone else, he’ll put 110% effort into making it to the best of his abilities. He excels in baking, though, always very adamant about trying some random recipe as soon as he can because it either looks good or looks interesting. Granted, he’s burnt a lot of food or overcooked/undercooked a few dishes in his life, but that doesn’t deter him.

He doesn’t bullshit people when he interacts with someone. If a person does or says something that’s generally rude, mean, inappropriate or anything of the like, he’ll either immediately tell them to cut it out, interrupting them, or he’ll wait until he can speak to them privately. He doesn’t play around when it comes to matters like that. He knows how easy it is to lose people or make them hate you by saying something stupid, so if he sees or hears something, he says something. And if the person is beyond repair in their thoughts, words or actions, he’ll very quickly cut them off and inform any relevant people he knows personally about it.

He actually really loves animated films, especially ones from the mid to late 90s and very early 2000s. They hold a place of nostalgia for him and he genuinely loves taking a day or night to just sit down and watch a ton. Chicken Little, Meet the Robinsons, Brother Bear, The Brave Little Toaster- ones around that vein are the ones that he can sit down and watch for hours. It’s not necessarily that he ‘turns his brain off’ when he watches them, but he likes to just sit and take time to enjoy them for what they are, were and meant to him. 

He’s an ‘acts of service’ and ‘quality time’ type of person in terms of what love language he shows to others. Doing little tasks and things such as cooking a nice, comforting meal or helping around the house or running an errand, anything he can do to lighten someone’s load is his favorite. And he needs the same done for him from time to time. Additionally, quality time! A comfortable silence that he can share with someone is key. Simply being in a person’s presence- perhaps just working on something with them in the room or anything of the like, it’s his favorite.

He’s not one for sappy words, although he does use them from time to time to show his appreciation of a person, since he believes it’s what most people are familiar with in terms of being shown recognition/appreciation, but it’s not his favorite. He also hates giving gifts, namely because he thinks he’s bad at picking out the right ones but also because he thinks the act is a little empty. The idea of buying someone’s affection? No way. Physical touch is a big no-no with him. He hates public displays of affection, and the only reason he’s alright with it is if it’s in the comfort of his own home, and even that’s a stretch sometimes. 

In a similar vein, the love language he prefers being done unto him are ‘words of affirmation’ and ‘acts of service’. Though he’d never say it, he needs to be told from time to time that he’s doing a good job, to have genuine encouragement and appreciation of what he’s doing or anything else of the like. He’s so hard on himself that he needs that saving grace- a voice to silence the loud ones in his head. Similarly, he likes it when someone is willing to lighten his load- maybe organize his projects and compile them in a format that’s manageable or perhaps getting him something to eat or simply cleaning up his workspace. Generally, he really appreciates it when someone goes out of their way to aid him.

[cheese-water]

HUH??????

[lettucing]

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. drooling. barking. schlatt if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night when I’m free.

[isolawildest]

FINAL VERSION (i forgot his freckles)

[resident-idiot-simp]

Shout out to Jshit for making a Christmas album out of spite for ai covers I love you shit man

But seriously phenomenal job this whole album is amazing I will be listening to it all December.

[1spooky-dad]

That clip of jschlatt getting excited on a game show stream when a bearded dragon got brought out, and immediately dropped everything to go pick it up and cradle it while everyone else was freaking out about "ooh scary reptile" lives rent free in my head 24/7. I don't give a damn about anything else about him other than his innate love of animals.

[nvmadic]

stealing schlatt’s hats

let your mind run wild

that’s it, send tweet [or x now ig???]

saint ily this just gave me a fluffy streamer!reader idea.

you were sat in front of your desktop, sipping from your water bottle as you were lazily replying to the messages slowly appearing in your chat. someone offhandedly made a comment saying that they thought that you would suit wearing hats, your brows contorted slightly not too sure whether they were right. "i don't think so. i don't have any hats-" you trailed off before the idea immediately hit you.

gracefully getting up from your setup and dipping from the room, soon reemerging with a cap in hand. sitting in frame and readjusting it to sit comfortably on your head, you admired yourself in your webcam preview. the new york yankees logo visible in the middle of the black cap.

half of the chat joking that you looked like you were cosplaying schlatt, unbeknownst to them that you were in fact dating, and that hat was, in fact, his that he had accidentally left at your place. the other remainder telling you that the original poster was right.

you were unaware that he had been watching your stream, a discord notification catching you off guard as you looked over to your other monitor. holy shit, you look adorable. keep it, you look better in it than i do.