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punchdrunkdoc · 2 years ago

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Part 2, Chapter 13

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

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PART 2

Chapter 13

Matt scowled as he walked to work, the incessant racket of Christmas carols providing an unwelcome soundtrack to his journey. They wafted from the stores lining the street to his right; they drifted from the radios of the cars passing on his left. There was even a choir practicing in the church a block away.

Listening to just one carol was bad enough, but when they all merged together like this in a cloying cacophony of noise it was the equivalent of auditory torture.

And it was only December 8th - there were still weeks more of this to come.

The irony was, he’d actually been looking forward to the holidays this year. He’d been looking forward to seeing it all through Calina’s eyes, and getting to share in her wonder and excitement as she experienced it all for the first time. He'd even gotten her a present - weeks ago, before they'd been separated. He'd been searching online for an unrelated matter, and had come across something he thought she'd like, so he'd bought it on impulse.

Now it was lying forgotten in the bottom of his bedside drawer.

He should probably just throw it away.

She was gone. And she wasn’t coming back.

It had been 10 days since he’d been left unconscious on the side of a road in Connecticut. 10 days since he’d last heard her voice.

10 days of silence.

In the beginning, he’d allowed Foggy and Karen’s optimism to infect him. They’d convinced him that Calina would call as soon as she was settled in the new base. They’d planted a small kernel of hope inside him, and he’d held onto it as he’d waited and waited for her to get in touch. His phone had been his constant companion since then. He held it in his hand as he walked to work in case he somehow missed the sound of it ringing in his pocket. It sat on his desk all day as he tried to concentrate on his latest cases. When he came home to his cold, barren apartment, he rested it on the arm of his chair while he ate leftovers for dinner.

He even started carrying it at night while he was Daredevil. It was reckless - dangerous even - to have that proof of his identity with him as he stalked the streets, but he didn’t want to risk missing her call.

And when he finally slipped into his side of the bed in the early hours, the phone was right there on the nightstand. He would lie awake for hours, listening to the silence emanating from the device, unable to fall asleep for fear that he’d miss her…and because the bed felt far too empty without her.

Everything felt empty without her. Everything felt wrong. Off-kilter and out of sorts.

Her absence from his world was so…palpable.

How was it possible that she’d become such an integral part of his life in so short a time?

So short a time he could still count it in days.

Which he’d done just last night. In a misguided attempt to try to downplay her significance, to fool himself into believing that the length of their relationship somehow negated what he was feeling, he took out a calendar and measured it out.

102 days.

That was all.

102 days since he’d first seen her on the rooftop.

98 days since he’d learned her name.

38 days since he’d discovered her secret.

10 days since he’d last seen her. Since he’d last heard her voice.

And it wasn’t likely that he'd ever hear it again. That small kernel of hope within him had finally withered and turned to dust.

She wasn’t going to call. She was never going to call.

Matt stomped up the stairs to the office, his bad mood evident in the slow, heavy tread of his feet and the force with which he yanked open the door.

“Hey, Matt,” Karen said. Her voice held an annoying note of sympathy.

Matt ignored it as he shrugged out of his coat. The wool was wet with snowflakes and he shook out the dampness before hanging it on the rack.

“I take it there’s been no word from Calina?”

Matt clenched his jaw at the question - the same one she’d asked every day for the past week. “No. And I think its safe to say that’s not going to change.”

“Oh, Matt. I’m so sorry.” She took a step closer, hand outstretched. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Matt dodged her attempts at comfort - both verbal and physical. “No. I just want to forget it and move on. There are more important things to deal with-”

“Matt-”

“Drop it, Karen. Please. We still have Margaret Posen’s appeal to submit. We have the Chisholm case coming up, not to mention the fear pheromone situation. My love life isn’t important in the grand scheme of things.”

She still tried again. “That’s not true. You’re hurting, I know you are. Please just talk to me-”

“No. Talking won’t help. But working will. Keeping busy will. So just indulge me, okay?”

“We’ve been indulging you, Matt.” This came from Foggy, who’d obviously been listening from his office. He stood in his doorway, arms crossed over his chest, ready to wade into the conversation. “You’ve been working yourself into the ground this last week, and you’ve been out all hours of the night as you-know-who. You look like shit-”

“Gee, thanks.”

Foggy growled under his breath. “We’re worried about you. You’re not in any fit state to be out on the streets right now. I think - we think - you need to take a break.”

“How can you say that now, Fog? We’re so close.” After weeks of adding data, the map of pheromone cases was finally showing a clear pattern. So clear, that they had a fairly good idea where the next victims were going to be located. “Everything we’ve been doing has led up to this.”

“And what if you blow it, because you’re too worn out to concentrate?”

“I won’t be.”

“Oh yeah? How’d you get that shiner, Matt?”

Matt touched the bruising under his eye. He could feel the heat radiating off it, and could picture what it looked like - a vicious dark purple mark that took up half his cheek.

Someone had managed to get the drop on him last night. Just after midnight, he’d noticed a man following a woman as she walked to the subway station. Two blocks from her destination, the man had grabbed the woman by the arm and dragged her into an alley - but Matt has been ready for the move. He was right behind them, and pulled the man off her before he could do more than bruise her wrist.

The man put up a fight, but he was typical of the kind of guys who preyed on women - no match for someone his own size. Matt could have easily subdued him, but he decided to teach him a lesson instead. He drew out the fight, turning it into a punishment and a warning.

But then the woman fled passed them to escape the alleyway.

And her scent drifted towards Matt.

It wasn’t an exact match for Calina’s perfume…but it was near enough. The sense-memory it triggered pulled his focus for an instant - just long enough for the man he was fighting to clock him in the face.

He tried to downplay it to Foggy. “It was a moment of distraction, Fog-”

“And that’s all it takes! For God’s sake, Matt, you’ve been tempting fate out there for years. I’m worried that a single mistake is going to be the end of you - and you’re bound to make mistakes when you’re sleep-deprived, running on empty, and heart broken.”

Matt shook his head. “I can’t stand by and let this continue.”

“We’re not asking you to,” Karen replied. “Just take a night to rest and regroup. Foggy’s meeting his contact tonight, so we’ll still be working on the case. Just from a different angle.”

“What contact?” Matt asked Foggy.

Foggy pointed at him. “See? This is exactly my point. I told you about him yesterday, but you were obviously too distracted to listen.”

Matt put his hands on in hips and tipped his head up to the ceiling, trying to conceal his anger at Foggy’s patronising tone. “Fine. Tell me again.”

“Freddie Carsten. He’s one of those all-purpose scumbags - theft, drug dealing, petty fraud, you name it. But he has a soft spot for his mom, and I helped her out with some legal trouble last year. Now he feels like he owes me, so he feeds me information now and again.”

“Why didn’t you talk to him sooner?”

“He’s been in Sing Sing for the last few months - just got out a week ago. But that’s plenty of time for him to get back up to speed with everything that’s going down in Hell’s Kitchen. Let me see what he knows, then we’ll reconvene tomorrow and plan our next steps.” Foggy reached out squeezed Matt’s shoulder. “I know you hate taking a night off - I know that you feel guilty when you do - but you’ll be of no use to anyone - ever again - if you get yourself killed.”

Matt sighed…then nodded. “Point taken.”

Foggy slapped him on the back. “Good. Let’s get to work. We have a new client arriving in ten minutes.”

Matt nodded again and made his way to his office. He collapsed into his chair and dumped his briefcase on the desk. Then he contemplated the phone he still held in his hand - the one he’d carried to work, praying it would ring.

After a few moments of deliberation, he put it on silent and shoved it in the drawer of his desk.

It was time to move on.

It was time to accept that Calina was never going to call.

It was time to accept that it was over.

———

Calina tugged the blanket tighter around her and wiggled her feet in her sheepskin-lined boots, trying to warm them up. It was stupid to be outside right now - the coast of Maine was a hell of a lot colder than the balmy climate of South Carolina - but she’d been cooped up in her room too long.

She needed space to breathe.

And she needed space to think. She hadn’t been able to do much of that over the past week and a half.

The journey from the old base to this new one was a blur - the days disappearing in a drugged-up, comatose haze. The last clear memory she had was collapsing in the back of the van on the coast road behind the mansion after the shoot-out. Then she’d woken up in this bedroom, a thousand miles north.

The time in-between was a series of snippets and fragments. Of pain and nausea and feverish chills. Of Katya’s worried face hovering over hers; the hushed, anxious whispers between Sofia and Yelena; the nagging ache in her side, and the violent shivers that wracked her body. She remembered a cool washcloth on her forehead, the burning pain as her wound was lanced, and the pinch of a needle as more antibiotics were injected in to her system.

And she remembered the hallucinations.

As the infection raged within her body, her mind added to the confusion by bombarding her with visions - of real sins and imagined ones. Of events from her past, and twisted dreams of her future. And it had all been so frighteningly real to her. She remembered shying away as the hand of a Red Room trainer struck out at her. She remembered flinching at the sounds of gunfire and explosions. She remembered hearing the cries of her victims as her bullets tore through their flesh.

Shameful memories made real again. Rendered in 3D, technicolor glory to torment her as she was trapped by the fever in her bed.

And - worst of all - interspersed with those nightmarish visions were the hallucinations of Matt.

Less horrifying in their nature, but no less of a torment.

He’d be wrapped around her in bed, holding her close and whispering beautiful words in her ear. Words of love, and desire. Words that had tears leaking from her eyes. She’d feel phantom fingers on her cheek, brushing the moisture away. “Don’t cry, sweetheart,” he’d say. “I’m here now. I’ll always be here - if you’ll have me.”

Twisted dreams.

Calina picked at a loose thread in the blanket as she stared out at the harbour. A rickety, old fishing trawler was making its way towards the shore, the surrounding grey sea churning as the ship chugged along. Seagulls squawked and hovered in the air above the pier, and she could hear the calls from the market stalls as they opened for business.

This place was more chaotic than their home in South Carolina, but still in a sleepy, seaside-town way. It was peaceful, despite the noise and the constant activity. And the sunset she'd caught last night had been stunning.

But she missed New York. She missed her life there.

And more than anything, she missed the life that could have been. The one where Matt held her for real, and whispered those words of love for real…

“What are you doing out here?”

Calina tilted her head back to see Sofia standing in the doorway of the balcony, scowling down at her. “I’ve already treated you for one life-threatening infection - the last thing I need is for you to come out here in the freezing cold and catch pneumonia!”

Calina sighed. Busted.

She gathered the blanket and got to her feet. She muttered a half-hearted, “Sorry,” as she shuffled passed the other Widow. “I just needed some air.”

Sofia followed her back into the room and made a point of locking the balcony door. “There’ll be plenty of time for that when you’re feeling stronger.”

Calina dutifully sat on the bed and held out her arm. Sofia took it and started monitoring her pulse. Calina sighed again - she was getting really sick of these constant vitals checks. “I am feeling stronger, Sofia. In fact, I feel fine now.”

“You’ve only been out of bed a couple of days.”

“And if I was still in the Red Room, I’d already be up, dressed and doing drills in the training room.”

“Well, you’re not in the Red Room anymore. You don’t need to power through it like that.”

“I also don’t need to be coddled like I’m some helpless child.” Calina tried to say the words as gently as she could. She’d been right about Sofia’s terrible bedside manner, but she’d always assumed it reflected a lack of care on the part of the medic. In fact, the opposite was true - Sofia cared deeply. She was very invested in the health of her patient - she just had difficulty expressing that. Instead of a reassuring word or a gentle pat on the hand, Sofia’s care came through in how much she…hovered.

Calina had barely had a minute to herself since she’d woken up.

“Well, excuse the fuck out of us for worrying about you.” The response didn’t come from Sofia, but from the Widow in the doorway - Yelena. Another woman who struggled to convey her care in a normal, affectionate way. Hers manifested as intense over-protection.

And it was another thing Calina was getting sick of.

“Like I just told Sofia, I’m feeling fine. I’m ready to get out of this room and be a functioning member of the team again.”

“Give it time, Calina. You almost died. First from the blood loss, then the coma, then the infection…” Yelena swallowed sharply and glanced away.

And that’s when Calina realised - the people who actually needed time to process what had happened were the ones who’d witnessed it. Not Calina. To her, it had been like a week-long nap. Granted, a nap filled with pain and nightmarish hallucinations, but she’d been pretty much out of it. She hadn’t felt the worry or anxiety that Yelena and Sofia obviously had.

Calina got up off the bed and approached the Widow in the doorway. Then she did something she’d never done to one of her sisters.

She gave her a hug.

Yelena was stiff in her arms - either from surprise or discomfort at the unfamiliar affection - but Calina held on. She tightened her arms, and whispered, “Thank you, Yelena. For saving my life. I’m sorry I worried you.”

Yelena patted her on the back - two firm, awkward taps - then squirmed out of the embrace. “Yes, well, it was a team effort. Sofia did most of the hard work, then there was Katya, Inessa and Ma-, um, me.”

Calina noticed Sofia exchanging a loaded glance with Yelena, but she couldn’t interpret the meaning behind it. She looked between the two other women, suddenly getting the feeling that they were hiding something. “Is there something you’re not telling me?” she asked.

Yelena frowned and shook her head. “No.”

Calina stared at her for a few more seconds, trying to discern the truth. She sounded sincere. And Calina couldn’t think what secret they’d be keeping from her.

It was probably nothing…

She just had the nagging sense that she was missing something. From the moment she’d woken up a few days ago, she’d had this vague feeling that she’d forgotten something important.

Something vital.

That feeling continued to nag at her for the rest of the morning. As she took a long shower and got dressed in something other than pyjamas for the first time in over a week, she tried to force her recollections into some semblance of order. She tried to piece together a proper timeline, and slot her snippets of memories together to try to work out what she was missing.

But the puzzle was incomplete. And there were too many gaps.

She couldn’t see the bigger picture.

She sighed and closed the bedroom door behind her, then made her way down to the kitchen. She was a little shaky navigating the stairs, but she was sure that once she got some solid food in her system she’d feel a lot stronger.

She took a seat at the enormous oak table and grabbed a sandwich from the pile in the centre. In the mansion in South Carolina, the Widows used to congregate in the living room. It was the heart of their home, with enough space to fit them all, and enough deep couches and comfortable armchairs for most of them to get a seat. They would spend all their free time in that room, just hanging out, slowly learning to become friends.

To become a family.

The large beach house in Maine had a relatively small living space - but a spacious kitchen-slash-dining area that took up most of the ground floor.

And that room soon became the new heart.

Calina glanced around at her sisters as they chatted and ate, and she noticed a couple of new faces - Widows that had been simultaneously freed from the serum and the nanite trackers in the past ten days. According to Sofia, it was Yelena’s new priority. She’d made quick work of finding and procuring another plasmapheresis machine and now there was a task force who took it out on the road to liberate more Widows.

One of those Widows gaped as she took in the relative chaos of the lunchtime melee. No one was hanging from the rafters or starting a food fight, but compared to the militant, silent mealtimes of the Red Room, they may as well have been.

It was always easy to spot the newly freed - they all shared the same bewildered, slightly shell-shocked expression for the first few days.

This new life was a lot to get used to.

“…feeling, Calina?”

Calina jerked her head around as she heard her name being called. “Sorry?”

“I asked how you were feeling.” It was Viktoria, the Widow to her right.

“Much better, thank you.”

Viktoria opened her mouth to speak again but there was a sudden commotion at the front door. The two newest Widows went on instant alert, their hands instinctively reaching for their weapons, but the rest of the group recognised the sound for what it was - the roaming task force had returned home.

Sure enough, moments later, Anya, Katya and Inessa sauntered through the swinging doors of the kitchen. “We’re back!” Katya called out.

Calina smiled. “We can see that.”

Katya faced her, and matched her grin. “Well, if it isn’t Sleeping Beauty finally up and about!” She rounded the table and shuffled onto the bench beside Calina. She gave her a quick one-armed hug around the shoulders and whispered, “Seriously, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks,” Calina replied. “And likewise - how was it out there?”

Anya grimaced as she answered Calina’s question. “We were tracking down a Widow last seen in Montreal, but she’s in the wind. Let’s hope Volkov doesn’t get to her before we do.”

Calina frowned. “Any word on him? I have no idea what’s been going on. I feel so out of the loop.”

“Not that I know of,” Katya answered. “But we’ve been concentrating on tracking Widows. Yelena’s taking point on Volkov - you should ask her.”

Calina rolled her eyes. “Yelena’s being weird around me at the moment. When she’s not obsessing about my health she’s giving these weird looks to the people around me, acting as if she’s hiding something…”

Calina’s voice tailed off as she noticed Katya suddenly glance at Anya, that same furtive look on her face that Yelena had had this morning. “Oh no, not you guys too,” Calina groaned. “What’s going on? What am I missing?”

Katya and Anya stared at each other for a few more moments, a wordless conversation taking place between them. Anya eventually nodded, her face resigned to whatever Katya was planning. Katya then abruptly stood up and motioned for Calina to do the same. “Come on,” she said. “We need some privacy for this.”

The three of them headed upstairs to Calina’s room. Calina took a seat cross-legged on the mattress while Katya chose the armchair next to the bed. Anya lurked by the window, looking grim, her hands squeezing around the edges of her ever-present tablet. “Yelena is gonna kill us,” she mumbled.

“Not if Calina kills her first,” Katya replied with a shrug.

“Why would I want to kill Yelena?” Calina asked slowly, her gaze bouncing between the other two women.

“Okay,” Katya said, holding up her hands in submission. “In Yelena’s defence - in all of our defence - we were just doing what we thought was best. You were in no fit state to do anything about it when you first got here anyway, and then the infection set in…you’ve only really been lucid for a few days, so its not like we kept this from you the whole time. And we didn’t even realise you didn’t remember at first…”

“Kept what from me? What don’t I remember? Spit it out, Katya!”

Katya took a deep breath, then blurted it all out in one breath. “Matt came to see you when you were in the cabin - he’s the reason you woke up.”

Calina leaned back, as if the words were a physical blow.

Matt came to see her?

Matt was the reason she woke up?

She shook her head. “Wh-what are you talking about?” she stuttered - her mind too busy reeling from the news to form a coherent sentence.

“We were really worried about you, Calina - you were comatose! As a last resort Yelena went to get Matt. We thought his voice or his presence might bring you back. And it did. It worked.”

“Yelena went to get Matt…” Calina repeated, frowning. “But she doesn’t even like him.”

Katya laughed. “She likes him a lot better now. Although the reverse probably isn’t true.”

“What do you mean?”

Katya smile dropped. She glanced nervously back at Anya but the other widow just shrugged. “You have to tell her now.”

“After you woke up, we had to move quickly - we had intel that Volkov was maybe scoping out the area so we had to hit the road. Matt included. But then we…”

“What?”

“We dumped him.”

“You dumped him? What do you mean you dumped him?”

Katya cringed. “We sedated him and left him in Connecticut.”

Calina jumped to her feet. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Katya stood up and backed away, her hands up in defence again. “We couldn’t let him know about this location-”

“That doesn’t mean you had to dump him unconscious in another state! I don’t even know if he’s ever been out of New York before!”

“He’s Daredevil, Calina. He’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.”

“That’s not the point! You could have just talked to him and explained-”

“Yelena tried! He was desperate to stay with you. He wouldn’t have left on his own.”

He was desperate to stay with you.

Calina’s heart leapt involuntarily at those words.

Matt came to see you.

He’s the reason you woke up.

He was desperate to stay with you.

Hope fluttered it’s wings inside Calina. She tried to cage it, to dampen the rising joy. She tried to convince herself that it didn’t mean what her heart thought it did. That it was just Matt’s overly-developed sense of guilt and duty at play.

It didn’t mean that he…cared…about her.

She tried to convince Katya and Anya too. “He feels responsible for the people around him. He probably just wanted to make sure I got here safely.”

Katya tipped her head and gave her a strange look. “Calina…I don’t think that’s it at all.” She turned to Anya. “Show her,” she prompted.

Anya tapped at the screen of her tablet then held it out to Calina.

Calina took the device. It showed a black screen with a play button in the middle. “What is this?”

“We set up a camera in the cabin so we could monitor you through the night. It was running when Matt visited. I asked Anya to save the footage.”

Calina glanced between the two other women. “You’ve watched this?” She held the tablet to her chest, as if somehow sensing that whatever was on the video was intensely private and not meant to be shared around.

Katya shook her head and rested a hand on Calina’s shoulder. “As soon as I realised what it was, I stopped watching. And no one else has seen a single frame.”

“What do you mean, ‘realised what it was’? What is it?”

“Just something that you needed to see. Something that you need to hear.” She motioned to Anya and the two of them left the room, closing the door quietly behind them.

Calina sat back on the bed and contemplated the screen in her hands, suddenly nervous. She had the strange feeling that the entire direction of her future hinged on what was on this video.

Her heart started pounding as a result, and her throat went dry, whether in dread or anticipation, she couldn’t tell. Her emotions were as mixed up as her thoughts.

“Get a grip, Calina,” she whispered to herself. “Nothing can be worse than what you overheard from Foggy in the bar.”

She didn’t know why she was trying to lie to herself. There were a million more things that Matt could say that could break her heart.

And a million that could mend it.

“There’s only one way to find out…”

She took a deep breath…and pressed play.

———

Chapter 14

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adamwatchesmovies · 7 months ago

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Encanto (2021)

Encanto is an instant favorite. You watch it once, you’re blown away, you look up its songs and listen to them on repeat. Filled with memorable characters, breathtaking visuals and complicated emotions, there’s something here for everyone.

At the heart of the isolated community of Encanto is Casita, a sentient house that grants magic gifts to the members of the Madrigal family on their 5th birthday. For two generations, the Madrigals have used their abilities to serve their neighbors, except for Mirabel (voiced by Stephanie Beatriz) who mysteriously received no gift. Now 15, Mirabel notices Casita acting strangely and begins investigating. All signs point towards her uncle Bruno (John Leguizamo) - who vanished ten years ago - being tied to an incoming disaster.

Writing my summary of the plot, made me realize how complicated this story is. When animated films were drawn by hand, you usually had one to three central characters and their journey was about their own physical, internal or emotional changes. Once the era of computer-generated imagery began, plots began to shift towards characters who change/explore the world around them. Encanto takes this to a new level. While Mirabel is the protagonist, every member of her extended family & her home is given enough screen time to be called an important character and the story is ultimately about so many topics it’s a wonder they’re all squeezed into the 102-minute running time - keep in mind that includes the credits.

How does “Encanto” do it? By utilizing all the tools at its disposal with peak efficiency. The film begins with a song that lays out the groundwork for everything we need to know about Encanto, Casita and the Madrigal family. The beat and lyrics are so catchy you don’t even realize it’s a deluge of exposition. From there, we’re on a fantastical journey with plenty of real-world equivalents. Maribel’s oldest sister is Isabela (Diane Guerrero) who can make flowers bloom everywhere and can seemingly do no wrong. She always looks perfect and is constantly showered with compliments. Maribel’s second older sister is Luisa (Jessica Darrow). Her superhuman strength allows her to move buildings and everyone knows they can count on her whenever there’s an emergency. Take away the fancy superpowers, look at the family dynamics and who is Maribel? The youngest sister who will never be as good as her other siblings, no matter how hard she tries. It only takes a song and a few lines of interaction for us to “see” all the years these people have had together. Encanto is ultimately a mystery. It’s about Mirabel trying to discover why her uncle disappeared all those years ago. Beneath that, it’s about our responsibilities towards each member of our family and how we want to separate ourselves from them while also remaining connected.

As Maribel investigates her uncle Bruno and his sinister ability to see the future, we learn more about the family. The knowledge we gather often comes in the form of catchy tunes - the best Disney has produced since Moana. They’re accompanied by stunning visuals, the kind that makes you pause and wonder “How did they do that?” You know they didn’t need to get actors and animals to learn any kind of choreography but it’s so well done and there is so much detail packed in every frame you forget you’re watching computer-generated graphics. This is the kind of movie you could watch over and over and always discover something new. Either in the backgrounds, the character designs, the lyrics, the dialogue or the emotions.

If I had to find a flaw in Encanto it’s that there are a lot of big emotions here that are resolved quickly. Familial and generational trauma, sibling rivalries, resentment because of the expectations (or lack of) placed on you and more. Love sweeps them all away so fast. That’s me looking for something. I can see many people thinking the resolutions make perfect sense and feel genuine because for the large part, they are. The way the film solves the mystery at its core and deals with all of the matters of the heart is exemplary.

Everyone who sees Encanto will find something about it to call their own. This is a beautiful, memorable, emotionally complex film with great characters and top-notch writing. You should see it if only so you can be part of the conversation because once you get going about this 2021 Disney release, you won’t want to stop talking about it. (November 5, 2022)

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savage-kult-of-gorthaur · 1 year ago

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WARRIOR-GODDESS OF THE VANIR -- HAIR INFUSED WITH THE BLACKNESS OF NIGHT.

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on assorted multi-media pin-ups and one "THOR" variant cover of Lady Sif, trained Agardian warrior-goddess of the Vanir, and member of the pantheon of Norse gods of the Marvel Universe. Artwork by Bruce Timm.

CREATORS AND APPEARANCES:

CREATORS: Jack Kirby, Stan Lee

FIRST APPEARANCE: "Journey into Mystery" #102 (January, 1964).

^Commemorating 60 years of Sif's first appearance in the Marvel Universe this month! Happy 60th, Lady Sif of Asgard!

Sources: www.comicartfans.com/gallerypiece.asp?piece=1676696, Comic Art Community, Pinterest, X, various, etc...

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captainpetebradshaw · 1 year ago

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Movie Diary 2023

Now that the new year is in full swing I finally have the time to go over my personal stats :D I've watched 145 movies this year (excluding rewatches) which is just 4 movies shy of my high of 149 movies from 2017 but I didn't even try that hard lol

Shoutout to the roosmav discord with which I've watched many Tom Cruise and Miles Teller movies and which definitely was part of the high number this year - love you guys!

Full list under the cut, my favorites are bold:

001 Legend

002 Emily the Criminal

003 The Banshees of Inisherin

004 The Swimmers

005 Cyrano

006 Thank You for Your Service

007 The Last Samurai

008 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

009 Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

010 Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

011 National Theatre Live: No Man's Land

012 Strange World

013 21 & Over

014 All Quiet on the Western Front

015 National Theatre Live: Prima Facie

016 Teen Wolf: The Movie

017 Puss in Boots

018 Elivs

019 Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

020 Rock of Ages

021 Causeway

022 The Quiet Girl

023 National Theatre Live: All About Eve

024 Triangle of Sadness

025 Minority Report

026 Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

027 American Made

028 The Fabelmans

029 Fire of Love

030 The Fabelmans

031 EO

032 Get a Job

033 Cocktail

034 Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

035 Batman Begins

036 Knock at the Cabin

037 Taps

038 Spiderhead

039 A Few Good Men

040 The Whale

041 Apocalypse Now (The Final Cut)

042 Women Talking

043 Miss Americana

044 Devotion

045 Operation Fortune: Ruse due Guerre

046 Tetris

047 Field of Dreams

048 Knight and Day

049 Missing

050 Shazam! Fury of the Gods

051 Days of Thunder

052 65

053 After Yang

054 Suzume

055 Serial (Bad) Weddings 3

056 Vanilla Sky

057 Cocaine Bear

058 Ghosted

059 Eyes Wide Shut

060 Amsterdam

061 Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

062 Renfield

063 New Gods: Yang Jian

064 I Am What I Am

065 Man on Wire

066 Independence Day

067 The Super Mario Bros. Movie

068 The Firm

069 Polite Society

070 Air

071 The Blue Caftan

072 Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

073 Mary is Happy, Mary is Happy

074 Joyland

075 Anything's Possible

076 Murder on the Orient Express

077 Kinky Boots

078 Mission: Impossible II

079 Schwimmen

080 Firebird

081 Mission: Impossible III

082 4th Man Out

083 Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

084 Bulldog

085 Cruel Intentions

086 John Wick: Chapter 4

087 Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

088 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

089 Extraction 2

090 Nimona

091 Deep Sea

092 Barbie

093 Die Concorde - Absturz einer Legende

094 The Flash

095 Jumbo (2020)

096 Only the Brave

097 Joy Ride

098 Kill Boksoon

099 Oppenheimer

100 The 355

101 Legend (1985)

102 The Monkey King (2023)

103 Elemental

104 Wham!

105 Heart of Stone

106 Saint Omer

107 Eldorado: Everything the Nazis Hate

108 Past Lives

109 Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken

110 A Million Miles Away

111 Theater Camp

112 Bottoms

113 They Cloned Tyrone

114 Asteroid City

115 Saw

116 Race to the Summit

117 The Last Voyage of the Demeter

118 No One Will Save You

119 Brightburn

120 The Skin I Live In

121 M3GAN

122 Event Horizon

123 Bones and All

124 When Evil Lurks

125 Gran Turismo

126 Knuckle Girl

127 Tom Cruise: The Last Movie Star

128 The Last Black Man in San Francisco

129 The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

130 Blue Beetle

131 The Creator

132 Napoleon

133 Mark Rothko - La peinture vous regarde

134 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

135 Linoleum

136 Wish

137 Quiz Lady

138 Pain Hustlers

139 Leo

140 Big

141 No Dogs or Italians Allowed

142 Violent NIght

143 Trading Places

144 Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire

145 Journey to the West (2021)

#2023 #movies #movie diary

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dramioneasks · 2 years ago

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Hello! I'm going through a bad reading block right now. It's so bad, that even if i open a two shot i end up not finishing it. Do you know any fics that are so stimulating that they help me get out of my reading block? Maybe something with a good plot but easy to follow?

Thank you!! Lots of love!

Random recs for long, AU-ish fics with interesting plots and characters:

Title: Lost Images Author: EvilGu Rating: M Genre(s): Romance/Humour/Mystery/Drama Chapters: 51 Word Count: 226,022 Summary: Epilogue up! MARRIAGE LAW Hermione must marry Draco Malfoy- the only wizard that (begrudgingly) petitioned for her who is not actively trying to kill her. If only there was some loop-hole… Can the unlikely pair survive marriage, in-laws, ghosts, murderous enemies, and their own traitorous feelings?

Title:The Fool, the Emperor, and the Hanged Man Author: ianthe_waiting Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Action, Adventure, Angst, Dark, Drama, Mystery, Romance, Suspense Chapters: 29 Word Count: 221,893 Summary: Ten years after the fall of the Dark Lord, Hermione Granger leads of life of self-imposed obscurity, that is, until the day Headmistress Minerva McGonagall is murdered and a certain ‘hero’ is responsible.

Title: Res Ipsa Loquitur

Author: Halliwell19

Rating: M

Genre(s): Romance, Drama

Chapters: 63

Word Count: 433,069

Summary: What if Draco Malfoy was sorted into Gryffindor? This is a retelling of the Harry Potter series as if Draco had been in Gryffindor and a slow burn Dramione friends to lovers story.

Title:Counting the Days Author: olivejuice28 Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Fluff Chapters: 102 Word Count: 465,465 Summary: The third and final installment of the “More Than A Thousand Words” series follows Draco and Hermione through another year of life. With weddings to plan, jobs to secure, and lots of decisions to make, they and their friends will be extremely busy in the months to come. Join them on the last leg of this journey as they chart a course for a future that has been a lifetime in the making. *While this can be read by itself, there are many references to the previous works all throughout, so it would truly be best to start at the beginning. :)*

Title:Every Part of Me Author: PotionChemist Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Hurt and Comfort Chapters: 70 Word Count: 243,722 Summary: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have been hiding a secret for the past five years. Something brought them together during sixth year and then the war ripped them apart. Four years after Voldemort’s defeat, Hermione is married to Ron Weasley and Draco has recently married Astoria Greengrass. When they reconnect at the annual Victory Ball, Hermione tells Draco something about himself that he never knew, and it explains why he’s been dreaming of her since he let her go…Is it possible that Fate herself tried to unite the two sides through Hermione and Draco? How did all of this begin in the first place? Can their damaged bond be repaired five years later?*will be going back and forth between sixth year and present through flashbacks for the first half or so*

Title: Nocturnus Author: In_Dreams Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Action, Adventure Chapters: 57 Word Count: 214,617 Summary: When an underground power stirs in France and threatens the fragile post-war balance in England, Draco steps into a seat of power to which he is the heir by birthright, determined to protect his family. Intent on justice, Hermione volunteers for the role of his partner and adviser, neither of them aware of the ancient and twisted web of chaos they’re about to walk into.

Title: Remain Nameless Author: HeyJude19 Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Angst Chapters: 51 Word Count: 312,316 Summary: How did it feel? It felt like he was barely holding it together. She, of all people, should shun him. Or yell at him. Curse him. Spit at him. Take out her wand and blast him off the face of the earth. It was crushing guilt and relief and confusion all at once when he looked at Hermione Granger. The monotony of Draco’s daily routine had become both a lifeline and a noose. But this new habit of grabbing coffee with Hermione Granger is quickly becoming a reason to get out of bed and is unfortunately forcing him to re-evaluate his inconsequential existence. Hermione is living her life in fragments, separate pieces scattered about, and she can’t find a way to step back and let the full picture form. Why are morning meetings with Draco Malfoy the only thing that make sense anymore?

Title: Rewriting Destiny Author: mayawrites95 Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Adventure Chapters: 76 Word Count: 327,788 Summary: They thought after Voldemort’s fall that the world would get better. But they were wrong. The Death Eaters are still ruling, using politics instead of hexes. With the dwindling Wizarding population and no one left to fight, they must go back in time to before Voldemort rose to power to fix what broke in the past. Nominated for Best James and Best Peter in the 2018 Marauder Medals!

-Lisa

#thetruedailyprophet #fic recommendation

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bookaddict24-7 · 1 year ago

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

100. Creep From the Deep by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While CREEP FROM THE DEEP was such an incredibly silly read, it was so much fun and possibly my favourite Goosebumps read so far!

It probably helped that I listened to the audiobook and the production level was incredible. I highly, highly recommend listening to this one. There are sound effects and the voice acting was great!

This book also has a short story at the end that was also fun and one of those spooky reads that I just know nine year-old me would be reading with the blankets up to my eyes.

___

101. One False Note by Gordon Korman--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Okay, I'm invested in this series now. I must know how they end up winning because seriously, they have to, right? It would be criminal for these kids to go through hell only to end up not winning....right?

I find it fascinating that each of these books are written by different authors. I'm curious to see how this will affect it!

This was a fun addition to the series--I sort of liked it more than the first one, but I think because I liked the setting and the mystery more than the first book.

Will keep reading!

___

102. Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have been running away from this book for a while because the hype that followed it was both terrifying and intimidating. But after finishing FOURTH WING, I was in desperate need of a great fantasy read featuring a bad ass main character and some adventure. So, after having DNFed three or four books, this one finally gripped me.

While there were a couple of things I wasn't the biggest fan of, I loved the dynamics between the characters and how they all worked together. I'll admit it took me a sec to fall into the romance, but it came together so great that honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way.

The MC was a bad ass who took zero shit from anyone. I loved their determination and their ability to overcome the gender roles that society is trying so hard to place on all of the women. One of my favourite things about this book was the gender discourse and how applicable it is to our non-fictional world. I loved that the MC themself is constantly questioning the roles and is actively trying to overcome them.

I will say, however, that while I appreciated the MC's strong will, I found it frustrating at times. I understand needing to be strong and not show empathy in such a cruel system, but I wonder if somethings its a fine line that is being walked on when you're in such a dangerous environment. I AM glad, though, that the MC grows and we finally start seeing those connections form. But I see that this personality trait might carry into book two and I don't know how I'll deal with it until it comes out. Characters like that sometimes turn me extremely off of stories (I've seen it in some of the popular Fantasy novels that I've DNFed), so I'm crossing my fingers that the next book isn't as side-eye worthy (for me) as the last bit of the book showcased the MC to be.

Finally, my last comment will be about the fight scenes and the robotic animals they control with their chi. These scenes were both cool and kind of confusing, aha. My friend mentioned that she would have loved to have a more visual representation of the machines and I agree--I think that was the main thing that kind of stopped the whole image from forming in my head. And the fight sequences--I don't know if I fully understood how they were able to control the machines, but I enjoyed the ride!

The epilogue 100% makes me want to read the sequel, so I will be looking forward to that!

I'd recommend this for anyone who is looking for a high-action, high-attitude, and zero fucks given fantasy with a memorable MC, poly romance, and disability rep! Sometimes it's okay to let the hype train run you over.

___

103. The Rise of Nine by Pittacus Lore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have continued my reading of this series and I have officially read a book I hadn't read yet in the series! I enjoyed this so much--it was full of adventure and non-stop action. I think one of the reasons that so many people loved this series when it was first coming out was because of how unputdownable it was. There were always high stakes and something else was always coming.

I can't wait to start the next book! I'm sure it'll be more adventure and I have this weird feeling that something dark is going to happen in the next one...

Also, yes, I am listening to this series via the library because I don't want to give this author money ✌🏽I remember the very justified book drama...

___

104. Welcome to Dead House by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️

Honestly, this was meh. The characters are kind of forgettable and the parents weren't the nicest. Also, there were some scenes where the sister would act kind of eh and so would the brother, so I don't know how they survived.

I know this book is for kids and honestly, I can totally see myself loving this as a kid. But adult me only found this kind of annoying and a time-suck.

Keep in mind, however, that not all Goosebump books are made the same. Some are genuinely a lot of fun! But this one wasn't it for me.

___

105. Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I knew SWIMMING IN THE DARK was going to break my heart and I knew it was going to haunt me long after it was done.

I had the pleasure of spending an afternoon listening to this and as the hardest parts of the novel started up, I lay in my bed, hoping for the best for our MC. Instead, I was hit with this line from one of the characters:

"You can't make people love you the way you want them to" (Jedrowski 178).

Ugh. SOB.

Minus the questionable age gap, this gave me similar vibes to CALL ME BY YOUR NAME and that just made the story even more beautiful to me. It explored the intricate and sometimes painful journey of first love and just how messy it can be. And how when it potentially ends, it leaves us with the crushing loss of love and a yearning for hope that there will be more in the future.

Set in a Communist society, the MC and his lover live in a world that is made difficult not just by its bigotry, but by the growing political despair. The increasing lack of food and uprisings to fight against other important needs not being met by the general public helps fuel this love story of two men who are on either side of the political struggle in their country. While one seeks refuge in the Communist agenda, the other is fighting more than just an outside battle, but the internal struggle of being who he is and watching the man he loves slip further and further away from him.

SWIMMING IN THE DARK is honest and heart wrenching and so full of hope that you really, really wish for only the best for the MC. His confusion and fear is palpable and the writing does such a beautiful job of portraying these emotions.

He worries about his grandmother's health, reflects back on the difficulties and losses he has faced in his young life, and is constantly trying to find a path for his life. We see his internal struggle with doing what he considers is right, while desperately trying to not do what is wrong. We also meet the cast of characters he meets along the way and who will undoubtedly change his life in more ways than one.

By the end of this book, I wanted to listen to Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens. It's that kind of mood.

Ugh, truly. This was such a beautiful and stunning book.

Read it. Read it, please.

___

106. Big Tree by Brian Selznick--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If you listen to one audiobook this year, let it be the one for BIG TREE. The production level, plus Meryl Streep as the narrator? It was pure MAGIC. There were sound effects, music, fantastic voice acting--and all of this to go along with a heartbreaking but somehow hopeful little story about two seed siblings trying to find a new home in an ever changing and tumultuous world.

I think this is one of those books everyone should read. It teaches the reader about the power of grief and the infinite potential we all have when we are still little and our dreams are huge. It also gives life to the struggle of a little tree trying to grow in the perfect place, despite the surrounding dangers.

I wanted to cry while listening to this, but also laugh and feel all different kinds of emotions.

Absolutely stunning.

___

107. Took by Mary Downing Hahn--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have mixed feelings about this one.

On one hand, I liked the plot of this old and evil magical lady grabbing kids because it is nightmare fuel. Literally while I was listening to this book during a creepy scene, an Indigo delivery came and the guy pounded on the front door and scared the crap out of me. So, spooky vibes? Definitely down.

But this wasn't a ghost story--not really. So, don't go in expecting some sort of haunting or demonic creature trying to lure the new home owners down into the basement.

This was also, to be honest, a fascinating exploration of a disintegrating family after a recession, especially a once wealthy family. Seeing the parents fall into pits of despair and, frankly, abusive language and treatment, I'm surprised no one called Child Services. From the bullying the kids get at school, to the disinterest they experience at home, I'm not at all surprised that it was so easy for their youngest to be "took".

What got me, however, was the events of AFTER the main event of the book. How awful the parents--especially the father--was to the son. I get that they're in a state of grief, but what a crappy set of parents. I wish I could reach through the pages and smack some sense into them. I'm no parent, but if I ever become one and am put in a similar and unfortunate situation, I hope I don't blame my child so unabashedly for the loss of the other one. This is why therapists are in such high demand.

I liked the story for the most part, especially, like I said, the spook factor and the way it all leads to pivotal moments, but why is it so normalized to see such crappy parenting in middle grade horror? Is this the only way we can get younger readers to empathize with the MCs?

I'd recommend this for the spooks, but keep the chancla ready for those parents.

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

___

Happy reading!

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imperiuswrecked · 2 years ago

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In Marvel Comics, is Lady Sif essentially meant to be Asgardian Wonder Woman?

I suppose you could look at it that way but I think it hinders the character to just compare them to another they seem most like, because Sif is from Norse Mythology, and the Thor comics draw from the Norse Mythology so other than "Strong Warrior Lady with Sword" I don't see a connection between Lady Sif and Wonder Woman. I don't think Lady Sif was ever meant to be Asgardian Woman Woman when she was created because in the first issue she was the damsel in distress, Journey into Mystery #102

Lady Sif doesn't get her warrior image/sword until Thor (1966) #137

#lady sif #thor #imp answers

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smbhax · 1 year ago

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From "Slave of Zarrko, the Tomorrow Man!" in Journey into Mystery #102, March 1964. Stan Lee script, Jack Kirby pencils, Chic Stone inks, Artie Simek letters. Original colorist unknown. Photoshop color reduction.

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elen-000 · 4 months ago

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The Summer Tunnel: An Exit from Goodbye

The Tunnel to Summer, the Exit of Goodbyes (Japanese: 夏へのトンネル、さよならの出口, Hepburn: Natsu e no Tonneru, Sayonara no Deguchi) is a mesmerizing Japanese light novel penned by Mei Hachimoku and illustrated by Kukka. Released in July 2019 under Shogakukan’s Gagaga Bunko imprint, it has since captured hearts with its poignant story and beautiful art. The novel inspired a manga adaptation, The Tunnel to Summer, the Exit of Goodbyes: Ultramarine, illustrated by Koudon, and an anime hoki138 film produced by CLAP, which premiered in September 2022.

Plot Summary: In a fictional city with the enigmatic Kasaki Station, an urban legend whispers of the Urashima Tunnel—a place that grants wishes but at a steep price. Kaoru Touno, a reserved high school student, encounters this mysterious tunnel after a series of life-altering events. His chance meeting with Anzu Hanashiro, a transfer student with a troubled past, sets the stage for an unforgettable journey.

Kaoru, grappling with his own family's turmoil and the recent death of his sister Karen, stumbles into the Urashima Tunnel, where he discovers that time passes differently inside. What begins as a desperate attempt to reverse his sister's death turns into a deep connection with Anzu, who is also seeking to fulfill her own wish—becoming a renowned manga artist despite her past struggles.

Their Journey Together: As Kaoru and Anzu explore the tunnel’s mysteries, their bond deepens. They learn that time inside the tunnel flows differently—every 3 seconds inside equals 2 hours outside. Their efforts to manipulate this time shift to achieve their wishes lead them on a rollercoaster of emotions and revelations. Kaoru reveals his regret over a past argument with Karen that led to her tragic accident, while Anzu confides her dream of becoming a successful manga artist despite the hardships she faced.

The Heart-Wrenching Climax: As the duo pushes their limits, their quest for fulfillment brings them face to face with the harsh truth: the tunnel doesn’t grant wishes but rather restores what was lost. Kaoru, realizing he must move on from his sister’s death, encourages Anzu to pursue her dreams. The narrative takes a heartbreaking turn as Anzu, after a long separation, is left to wonder if she will ever see Kaoru again.

A Bittersweet Resolution: Years later, Anzu has become a weary manga artist, haunted by memories of Kaoru. When she receives a message from him, she races to the tunnel in hopes of reuniting with him. Meanwhile, Kaoru, having lived through the tunnel’s timeless realm, emerges from it after 13 years and 102 days, finally reunited with Anzu. Their poignant reunion and shared kiss at the train station mark a moving end to their extraordinary journey.

The Tunnel to Summer, the Exit of Goodbyes is a tale of love, loss, and the passage of time that resonates deeply with anyone who has ever wished to turn back the clock. Its blend of magical realism and emotional depth makes it a must-experience for fans of heartfelt stories and supernatural adventures.

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thesimplyluxuriouslife · 1 year ago

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362: The Fundamental Ingredient in a Well-Lived (and long) Life: Honor What Makes Your Heart Sing, 13 life lessons from Dr. Gladys McGarey

"I still have yet to discover a secret ingredient that has been proven to ensure a long and healthy life—well, not one you can put into a blender, anyway. But I can help you discover the secrets of true health and happiness . . . they're based on a simple shift in perspective."—Gladys McGarey, MD, author of The Well-Lived Life: A 102-year-old doctor's six secrets to health and happiness at every age

Born in 1921, Dr. Gladys McGarey's life journey began living and experiencing the life truths she later learned contributed to her living her long healthy and happy life. A doctor in holistic medicine for over 80 years, Dr. McGarey's life story in childhood and young adulthood reads like a history book now taught in classrooms. In 1930 as a young child, while on a train from Delhi to Bombay (now Mumbai) with her family who was returning to the states after having lived in India for some years, she witnessed Gandhi's historic salt march. As she worked her way through school and became a doctor, she battled with cultural norms of where a woman's place should be, and as life continued to unfold, having honored what was speaking to her about what brought her to life even when others disagreed, she continued to witness truth after truth of the medicine one receives when they trust their heart.

Released on May 1st of this year, Dr. Gladys McGarey's book is a treasure of inspiration, backed by science of the power of honoring your language of how you find life in living. Below I will be sharing 11 insights and ahas that she teaches that perhaps will inspire you to trust what your heart is saying even if you don't know what will transpire.

"Part of what makes mysterious happenings possible is our belief that we don't know everything . . . I cannot overstate the importance of keeping a sense of wonder about the world as we age. It is what keeps us young. Our souls benefit from our holding on to the idea that we don't know what's going to happen next."

Let's get started.

1.Find your life force

"To be truly alive, we must find the life force within ourselves and direct our energy toward it."

Dr. McGarey calls it our "juice" and explains that "the process of finding our juice that keeps us vital". She shares that in many Eastern philosophies "there is a certain energy tied to well-being", two terms used to describe this are prana as well as chi. Western philosophers often use the term purpose or motivation. She continues to remind that while finding our juice and cultivating it won't "ensure perfect health, running out or losing our juice is often a major obstacle to feeling good".

When we don't find our juice, both our mental and physical health start to wane. Finding what your juice is may shift and change over your life journey, but keep yourself in the process of finding what lights you up, what makes you feel energized when you are engaged in whatever it is you discover. That is your juice. That is your life force and it is immeasurably powerful to living well.

Multiple studies at the University of Michigan Health and Retirement Study "observed a link between a high sense of purpose and decreased mortality in adults over fifty." Similarly to what Dr. McGarey shares, when we find what is our purpose, our calling, our prana, whatever term you want to give it, the world receives this positive energy, and not only is our well-being improved, but so too is the world's. Why? "The joy [finding our juice] brings to our lives will ripple out to the world around us".

2. Know this to be true: You are as you are and that is an awesome thing

"We're supposed to be shaped precisely as we are, because that way we can fit together. It isn't anyone's job to judge the shape of anyone else's piece, and in the same way, it isn't useful to try to make ourselves more or less like anyone else or to worry if they judge our shape."

What Dr. McGarey then reminds us is for each of us, knowing that we are made the way we are for a reason to give something awesomely unique to the world, to contribute positively in a way only we can, it is our responsibility to find it, embrace it and share it because "each of us is essential". And when we tap into our truth, our true self, we inspire others to do the same in their own lives.

"When we feel ourselves click into the whole puzzle, we become part of the pattern of life. When this happens, we exchange juice with the world around us. Our juice flows freely, and we have more of it than ever before."

3. Multiple streams of 'juice'

"We're able to connect with life best when we get juice from multiple places. A puzzle piece doesn't just click in on one side; it clicks in on two, three or four. What that looks like varies from person to person ."

When you find your juice, you may think it will be one thing, but in actuality, our life is full of multiple sources of inspiration and energy, and each, when consciously chosen using our self-awareness to ascertain what fuels us and what drains us, we can cultivate a life full of juice. From our work, to our relationships, to our hobbies, to how we nourish ourselves. McGarey speaks in this section about how the 'should's from the culture that surrounds us can make us involve ourselves in life choices that 'should' be the best choice when such advice is incorrect, even though perhaps well-intended. Her example that she uses is choosing to be a parent. While she herself loved and loves being a doctor, she also loved and wanted to be a parent. Being both during the mid twentieth century was scoffed at, but to her, working as a doctor was her juice, but so too was being a parent. She dismissed what others said was 'best' and honored what gave her energy. But raising kids and being a parent isn't going to be a source of juice for everyone and that is vitally important to understand. I use the example of being a parent because it is a common one purported as including, "well, of course it is exhausting - that is what parenting is!" But I say this most sincerely as a teacher who met many hundreds even thousands of parents over my 20-year tenure - for some people it drained them, for others it lifted them. It isn't being a parent that is the medicine for a happy life, it is choosing what is discovered to be your juice and for some that is parenting, but not for all.

I so appreciated her pointing this out and sharing her own experience as a parent that indeed, it isn't something that everyone will find to be their purpose and honoring that is vitally important to living well. For me, I knew this pretty quickly, but I was amazed, especially more upon reflection, how adamant society was to tell me I was wrong, even though they had no idea what made me fill inspired and full of energy. That is all the more reason to trust your own journey, your inner voice, your soul as many call it, and keep searching until you find your juice. You will know it when you come across it, and as mentioned above, there will be MANY things that will give you juice. Explore, delight and include them in your life as you will. Some will remain in your life your entire life journey and some will only be a part of your life for a chapter or two, and understanding this truth demonstrates you are living consciously and are aware of what fuels you and what drains you.

4. Embrace movement - physically, emotionally, spiritually

"Understanding the power of movement can get us through almost anything. It's a sacred truth that helps us in our hardest moments."

From stuck energy to blocked adrenal glands, movement is needed to bring us to good health. Studies continually demonstrate that physical movement, simply walking briskly for ten minutes, increases life expectancy, and such physical activity helps us move through stress and even depression. Why? Through physical movement, the brain is signaled "to release feel-good hormones and these have profound effects on both short and long term health." From our mood to how our brain's cognition improves, movement is good and that includes forgiveness to release stuck emotions, moving through fear, anger and disappointment is beneficial to our mental health, and thus why understanding how to become aware of our thoughts is crucial to understanding how they either impede or improve the quality of our life. If the former, it is time to make a move to learn something new to change what is thwarting our ability to let go of certain emotions we are stuck in.

5. Understand a necessary transition period may have to be traversed

Dr. McGarey points out that when you do find your juice, it is likely that you will have to, in order to do what you love doing, what brings you to life, "go through a transition in life. It shows us who we really are. This may require us to make a change, start doing something new, or stop doing something we've done for quite some time".

It may not be a dramatic change, but merely a changing of the stories you tell yourself, how you engage with the world or the habits you have been incorporating into your daily life, but it may be a significant change - a job change, relationship change or shift, a move. When you find out what you can uniquely give to the world and what the world engages with as you give a positive contribution that only you can give, you come to see that indeed you have a gift within you that needs to not be tucked away. Dr. McGarey writes "our search for juice connects us to the greater question of why we're here?" She goes on to address that this is regardless of whether you have a formal belief structure or not, so whether you are spiritually or religiously inclined, atheist or agnostic or anything that guides you in life. When you find your 'why' you have found your juice and that is the 'medicine' for a healthy and long life IF you choose to engage with it.

Sharing that after her own divorce from her husband who she had been married to for decades and shared six children, it was when she stepped away from a marriage, that for some time was filled with much love and goodness, that "life got a whole lot better from there . . . I became who I had always been meant to be." It is when we cling to what we know that no longer serves us or never served us that cause us pain and prevent us from healing. And the healing can only take place when we embrace our life force and trust what it will bring into our lives.

6. Bravely be love

"Our life force is activated by love."

Fear is inevitable in life, in many forms, but it is when we choose to remain in this state of fear that our lives are adversely affected. Dr. McGarey reminds that "Fear destroys our sense of reason, making it impossible to see things clearly."

And here is the good news. When we acknowledge fear, but don't linger in this state of feeling, but instead take action, either through asking questions, asking for help, or at the very least stop digging more of a fearful hole for ourselves by spiraling into more worry, we begin to step ever closer to finding our juice. You will appear fearless, but not in a daredevil way. But rather, as McGarey writes, as "a person who approaches life with an open heart."

When we open our hearts, we are opening our lives to love. It can enter our lives in any number of ways from the kindness experienced from others, a smile, or support as you make your intentions known and bravely pursue your calling.

7. The importance of self-love

"When we refuse to love ourselves, we shut out love from everyone else, too . . . Self-love is not pride at all. It is gratitude for the life we have been given."

When we finally remember that we have always been lovable, "that is when we become "love-able". In other words, "self-love is the basis of all love". This will require us to step away from, let go of, choose differently so as no longer to include, parts of our life that want us to believe we are not lovable or not wonderful just as we are, that what lights us up is wrong, or lacking or not enough. Dr. McGarey uses the example of the tumor that needed to be removed when she had breast cancer, in order to be loving to herself, to give herself life, she had to remove the tumor. Instead of fearing cancer, she honored herself and her body, by being loving and removing it.

She goes on to talk about telomeres (the end caps on our chromosomes), and how studies have revealed they are affected by our thoughts. Simply put, positive thinking, which involves the thoughts we think about ourselves and whether or not we are deserving of love, beginning with regularly giving ourselves love that includes honoring what gives us vitality and juice, "does affect the way our genes express themselves, which can have profound effect on both our health and our experience of being alive."

Wow! IF that isn't a reason to cultivate a life of vitality and honoring our true self and purpose, than well, just wow. :)

Thoughts create images in our mind, and depending upon what those thoughts are, we are either healing or hurting ourselves. Our life force, as discussed in #1 is a powerful healer when we embrace it and welcome it into our lives.

8. Connect and contribute what you uniquely can

"Life comes from our connection, is supported by our connection and creates connection. We are happiest and healthiest when we are contributing to and drawing from our collective life force."

Positive social connections are crucial to our overall well-being and good health. And when you have found your life force and are bravely sharing it with the world, more energy is created. On the flip-side when you are drawn to others because of what they are giving to the world, you're connecting with them, and supporting their journey is equally energizing to both parties.

The key is yes, connect, but connect through what you can uniquely offer. This takes bravery because you are making yourself vulnerable, but you are also tapping into supporting others in ways you may never know which is why when someone or something speaks to you, supporting them genuinely in ways that are welcomed and you can partake is a priceless gift given and received.

With that said, finding friends, again creating connection, is awesome medicine, but also not something to be rushed or forced. McGarey suggests start with your neighbors and then move on to people you work with or network with at work by simply being kind and curious.

When you are living your life force in everyday life, more serendipitous meetings will occur, "pushing new people your direction", we simply need to remain open to seeing them. With that said, we need to actively be aware of how we feel and how our juice or life force responds to new people that cross our path. If anybody is draining our juice, this is when we need to honor our boundaries.

9. The importance of boundaries

"Setting boundaries starts with knowing who we are and what we came to do. We must first understand what gives us juice and what drains it, because that shows us what's on our soul's path and what's interfering with it."

Boundaries is a topic we have talked about in depth here on the podcast (episode #343), so I encourage you to listen/read that episode/post for specific tips and tools for understanding how to set and know what your boundaries need to be. However, to begin with, in order to have the right boundaries, "we have to know ourselves really well" as Dr. McGarey shares.

Boundaries in our life are a bit different than boundaries as we understand them when it comes to sovereign states for example, but not really if we look more closely. Boundaries are set to honor what we need in our life to flourish, and as we grow and change, and life and other people are dynamic as well, our boundaries will change also. But it is essential that we are the ones moving them, not anyone else. For example, another country cannot tell their neighboring country that the boundaries will change (i.e., the former mentioned country decides to take more land without permission). Nope, that is not how boundaries in our lives work. We have to, upon knowing and discovering what we need, set our boundaries and adjust them as we recognize they need to change to continually support our life journey of living well.

10. Life reflects what you give

"When we contribute positively to our collective life force, our individual life force benefits. We find greater purpose and meaning in our days. We understand not only that we are part of a greater whole but how we are part of that whole. We align with what life intended for us to do all along."

If you are at a point in your life where you feel life is just not going your way, it is hard, it is constant struggle, and you have lost trust in others, yourself and/or the world, ask yourself the following questions as listed by Dr. McGarey:

If you feel unsupported by those around you, are you truly supporting them?

Are you contributing to the world or pulling from it?

Are you offering joy and positivity to the world around you?

Can the community trust in you?

Are you able to maintain strong boundaries regarding where you put your attention and still find the friend in everyone?

She reminds us that "community is a give-and-take relationship" and we can't come to the community with an 'ask' or a demand for a specific outcome. We actually just have to show up with our true selves give with loving kindness while honoring our integrity and while we have clarity in our own life journey, having set intentions because we know ourselves, we can simply let go. We don't know how the support will show up or who you will begin to work with that will involve trust, but so long as we engage with self-love (knowledge of where your boundaries are and why they are there) as well as our life force that brings us to life, we are becoming part of the collective force that creates the healthy connection we need to live well and live a long, lovely life.

11. Lessons are everywhere and in everything

"We live our best lives when we approach life with curiosity and desire to learn from everything."

Something that was the subject in a recent Monday Motivational post is the idea that even when things look like they may be falling apart, they may actually be trying to help us if only we shift our perspective to see this truth. When we realize that there is a helpful lesson to learn even in unwanted events, the quality of our everydays and thus our entire life changes for the better. McGarey shares, "Life always has new teachings to offer us if we can find the courage to look for them."

Admittedly, it will take great courage and inner strength to look for the wisdom that is hidden in the unwanted. But when we choose this path, we are helping our health. Why? "We are moving our attention away from suffering and directing it back toward life". Remember earlier in the list when we talked about movement? If we stay stuck in focusing on what isn't working, what is unwanted, we are not helping ourselves, but stopping life from happening, from moving forward. "Seeing everything [as a teacher] helps us make our life a living, breathing process."

Now you might be thinking, well, that is just too Polly-Anna positive for me, Shannon. But I beg to differ. It is actually more realist than anything else. It is accepting what is and choosing to use it for fuel to constructively move forward to give you life rather than drain your life. McGarey concurs, "True optimism isn't toxic, because focusing on the positive does not mean denying the negative. It does not mean we dissociate from our pain, whether it's physical or emotional, or pretend that things are okay when they aren't. Instead, it means we look for what's wonderful anyway. We allow what hurts to hurt while continuing to search for the lesson in it and be grateful for the teaching."

12. Understand what true health is: Steer your energy toward life

"True health is about living with the world around us as an engaged, participatory experience."

Encouraging readers to 'spend your energy wildly', Dr. McGarey teaches that once we have discovered and embraced our life force, we have an abundance of energy, and now we can spend it by enjoying our lives. And because we gain energy by embracing our life force, we have much to spend as we engage with the world, and so bravely, "tap into [your] deepest knowing", let yourself be who you are and give what you can uniquely give. It will energize you in return and create a wonderful give-and-take relationship that will continue to give you life. With that said, we need to step toward and engage with "things that feel good and help us grow".

What energizes you may not energy someone else in the same way or at all. Reminding us that each of us has to find our own rhythm that works best for us, as well as remembering to adapt to it as what we learn and as life unfolds reveals is best moving forward.

And don't forget, choosing to and needing to rest is indeed an action. We all need to rest. This is a nourishing self-love practice that is necessary. Some may say resting is being lazy. Dr. McGarey disagrees writing, "Being lazy is when we withhold our life force from the collective; it's when we hold back, refusing to give, refusing to participate. This drains our juice. The purpose of resting is just the opposite. When we rest, we're consciously dedicating our energy toward what's most important to us."

13. Turn toward life, your life and what makes you come alive

"Learning to listen to our own inner knowing is the key to discerning, in any given moment, how and where to invest our life force. And it takes truly living to understand this. We're meant to interact with our lives. The work of life is simple: We must try and fail until we succeed."

A truth that is shared repeatedly here on the blog/podcast and in different phrases and words, but all are focusing our attention on the truth that you have something that makes you come alive within you. Find that, and you find your path forward. You won't know what the path will reveal, but follow the vitality that you receive, remember to get to know yourself along the way and apply that knowledge to the decisions you make about what you will explore, who you will dance with and also carry with you the knowledge that, as Dr. McGarey reminds, "you are right on time". Your health depends on you bravely and with an open heart and mind stepping in a direction that brings you to life.

The Well-Lived Life: A 102-year-old doctor's six secrets to health and happiness at every age by Gladys McGarey, MD

Explore the book, The Well-Lived Life here.

Petit Plaisir

—And Just Like That, season 2

Tune in to the end of today's episode to hear a detailed review of why I recommend the second season of And Just Like That on Max, addressing the critics of the show and sharing why this season dovetails wonderfully with the topic of today's episode.

https://youtu.be/0Tqd9aKxuik

~Explore all of the episodes of The Simple Sophisticate podcast here.

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

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