#jotaro kujo who also took the flesh bud away from polnareff? jotaro kujo?

[vnd5lain88]

i will never understand jotakak sorry. they don't have that narusasu magic. they are two guys who know each other and fell off too early to get anywhere because they are way too awkward to the other. they walk past each other in school after that and it's forever like that zoolander clip.

[jojo-reader-hell]

Heyyy I thought of something funny, it's not really romantic but how would the SDC crew react to their usually innocent and soft!reader curse for the first time? Like their curse words consists of "fudge" or "darn", but then they got frustrated one day and said "fuck!"

Aw yiss I must write for the bois. Honestly was itching to write something for Kakyoin and PolPol, also my wifey Joseph -3- I think as this blog progresses y’all will learn who I stan the hardest.

You and Jotaro Kujo were just trying to get some ice cream, because little does anyone know that your boyfriend is a gigantic man baby that gets hangry if he isn’t fed every hour on the hour. It’s been a thing since the two of you got together in secret. None of his fangirls have ever suspected the two of you were in a relationship. Always you’re the quiet little book worm that likes to knit in the back of the classroom, what a shock it would be for anyone to see you hanging on Jotaro’s arm at the end of the school day. You’ve tried to explain it to Mr. Joestar several times, you know Jotaro’s moods. He’s always skipping classes to enjoy the big lunches you always make for him, and since we are all in the middle of the desert and there’s no four burner stove tops the best way to soothe your boyfriend is to just let him eat crap and garbage to settle him down. It’s been really stressful, usually you have time to do your makeup and condition your hair and press your blouses but the whole mission hasn’t been very conducive to your usual sweetheart rituals. You’ve managed to gather a little bit of money to treat little Jojo to a frozen goodie or two, but when you’re trying to fumble for the change some pickpocket decided to try running off with your purse. Jotaro was about to call out Star Platinum to pummel this dude until he heard something that he’d never expected in his life:

“THAT’S MY PURSE ASSHOLE! I DON’T KNOW YOU!”

He’s honestly in shock. Watching you just beat the shit out of this poor son of a bitch who’s a grown ass man crying for his mama while some innocent high schooler with a wrinkled shirt will not stop wailing on him. He finally runs off, and Jotaro is just left speechless when he hears the expletives fly.

“Ugly ass motherfucker trying to steal MY PURSE THAT MY BOYFRIEND GOT FOR ME ON WHITE DAY! FUCK YOU!”

“Jesus Christ... He’s not even here anymore babe.”

If anything he’s more annoyed with the fact that you just will not stop screeching about the asshole trying to take your money, and shuts you up when he starts complaining about how hungry he is.

When you agreed to accompany Joseph Joestar on his “business trip”, you assured Suzie Q. that as his secretary you’d be absolutely sure that your husband and boyfriend didn’t get into any mischief like he usually likes to cause. You kissed Suzie Q. right on the mouth, trilled an “I’ll take care of him honey, please watch the house while we are away!” and packed the tiniest carpetbag anyone has ever seen. You had to go with him, because if you stayed to watch your over sixty year old girlfriend pretend like her daughter wasn’t dying it would only make things worse. You’ve been together with Joseph and Suzie since you were twenty two, you’re not about to sit by and pretend to be their little arm candy. It’s better for you to be with Joseph where you insist that you’re more than a cute face.

Eventually you proved it to him, before Polnareff joined up with the group it was you that faced him, not Avdol. You reasoned your Stand Queen of Swords was more adept, and sure enough, you managed to chill him to the bone with your ice power by matching his ruthless approach. It took everything you had to stop yourself from killing him when he made fun of you for being a gold digger hanging onto your sugar daddy’s arm. When you had him struggling under your boot, you leaned in very closely with the scariest expression Joseph has ever seen.

“I better not ever hear another sexist thing like that come out of your mouth again, you childish little shithead.”

Mark your sixty nine year old boyfriend down as scared and horny, because the worst he’s ever heard you say was “oh fiddlesticks” when you dropped a tea set.

You and Muhammad Avdol have only been married a year, and he’s had to be pretty gentle and nurturing with you considering how innocent you are. Your Stand Queen of Cups is more of a healer, and he only brought you along because he figured that you’d be heartbroken to be left behind to watch his shop. It turns out you’ve become an invaluable asset to the team should any injuries be sustained from enemy attacks. Often you’ll heal without question, but lately he’s noticed you’re starting to prickle up like a porcupine whenever one of the boys comes up to you with an injury. It has to be the stress of leaving your home above the shop, or the project of building a nursery that had to be put on hold once Dio disrupted your happy married life. It happens when Jotaro approaches you with an injury, telling you with his typical careless lack of manners to “get to work fixing it” that makes you snap.

“Why are you so goddamn careless you dumbshit?! Don’t you realize that you have to keep yourself in one piece if you want to help your mother?”

Avdol has to drag you away from letting loose on Jotaro, and he even notices the usual calm temperament of Queen of Cups seems more violent than usual. He’s less shocked about the language and more concerned about what got you to that point. Mark him down as even more worried when he realizes the current change of mood is due to the fact that you’re late.

Being Jotaro’s little sister, it was decided that you’d stay behind with Holly before Noriaki Kakyoin intervened on your behalf. He reasoned it wasn’t fair to leave you behind and watch your mother die, and selfishly he kept to himself that he didn’t want to leave behind such a pretty Stand User. He’s been attracted to your innocence since you took care of him after Jotaro extracted the flesh bud. You’re attached to him at the hip, worrying over him and hanging onto his arm. Now that he’s found someone just for him he doesn’t intend to let anyone harm you or take that innocence away. He’s always making googoo eyes at you no matter what you do, and you often gross out the other members of your group with how much you baby Kakyoin.

You’ve never said a bad word the entire time he’s known you, but Jotaro insists he knows his baby sister. You’re not as innocent as you seem. No matter what, you’re still a Joestar and the typical fighter is going to come out when he least expects it. Kakyoin laughed it off until you saw Iggy for the first time and climbed your boyfriend like a tree, screaming your head off because you have an irrational fear of small dogs.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! IS THAT A FUCKING GREMLIN?!”

“... honey...” Kakyoin has to try to be gentle to get over the shock of you saying fuck, “It’s a dog...”

“Son of a cunt, just nobody feed that fucking thing after midnight!”

Now as the comparatively insufferable fiance of Jean Pierre Polnareff, it’s no surprise that you’re just as much of a romantic as he is. There’s never a sentence that doesn’t begin with either “Well my fiance says...” or “Jean Jean and I think”... It’s honestly a little worrisome how you don’t make any kind of a decision without Polnareff’s input. More often than not he opts to have you wait for him in your hotel room, insisting that he’ll be by later to take care of his little cream puff (the boys know from experience that you don’t you dare ask him why he calls you his cream puff, because they’ve all been subjected to the horrors of Polnareff’s unusual willingness to go into detail about your sex life). But the one day he decides to let you go out with him happens to be the day he gets into the Alessi scuffle, and when you innocently ask him a question about who that lady was that was chasing after him, suddenly your face darkens and even Jotaro backs away when he senses your mounting rage.

“You said you touched her WHAT?!” you roar before turning your rage on the creep Alessi, “YOU NASTY MOTHER FUCKER! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TURN MY JEAN JEAN INTO AN ADULTERER?! YOU DID THIS! YOU ALMOST RUINED MY MOTHER FUCKING FAIRY TALE WEDDING, YOU DISGUSTING CUNT BITCH! FUCK YOUR MOTHER!”

It was then Jotaro realized Polnareff was so disgustingly sweet and controlling of you because he was the only one who could soothe your temperament and turn you into a sweetheart with just a few words. Eventually your big French lover has you melting like ice cream on a hot day in his hands, insisting the woman meant “nothing to him” and “your chest is the only one I’d like to be pressed against” and “no one can clean his peepee like you can sweetie baby”.

Jotaro is traumatized for the rest of his life.

[risottoneroo]

Between His Fingers, Chapter Two

a/n: so it looks like i’ll be updating weekly! this one is longer, and i hope u guys like it!

tags: @kakyoins-bang​ @i-mean-i--guess​ @spaceeballs​ @casketjuice​

warnings: minors in a strip club, reader is disguised as a cocktail waitress, some very mild sexual content, mentions of Dio grooming(?) reader, stand fights, canon typical violence

chapter one

one year later

“Find the Joestars, huh?” You muttered under your breath. “Seems easy.”

You looked around the Saudi Arabian strip club you were currently disguised as a cocktail waitress for. The disguise was a leather tube dress, accentuating your curves and showing a little window between your tits. It didn’t disguise the scars high on your back, covering your shoulders in a crude impression of wings. Your Stand, in materializing, had seared its wings onto your back forever. Your scars didn’t bother you. 

You were still more than pretty, and decidedly more confident. In just one year, you’d gotten very good at seduction and deception. Dio was a good teacher. You’d practiced in clubs just like this, finding men and making them buy you pretty things, before leaving without so much as a phone number. You were well known in Cairo for this trick.  Dio knew how to get his way, and now, so did you. He’d been reluctant to let you leave his mansion, but it was necessary to get rid of the Joestars. 

He didn’t like you smoking, and only let you do it in the bars you frequented to make money off stupid men. Your loyalty to Dio was such that you were even trying to stop that habit, but in this dark, hazy club, it was hard to not want a fucking cigarette. You took a deep breath and scanned the crowd.

Dio had said they’d be the tallest and worst dressed people there. You held back a snort. Like Dio had room to pass judgement on who was worst dressed. Regardless, the group you were focused on was definitely the tallest. Worst dressed? Debatable. Highly so. It wasn’t well lit in here, and they were a few yards away, but the biggest one was wearing some kind of school uniform. It looked tight, but he also looked very good in it. He looked bored, a cigarette dangling from his lips and surrounding them in smoke. Fuck. 

The next one was a redhead, with long, messy hair. His outfit was far from messy, being a much tidier school uniform. He looked uptight, but he was still pretty cute. He looked as if he was trying to communicate to the other man there that he didn’t want to be there. It was too loud for you to hear anything, the bass pounding in your chest. 

The last man was definitely the worst dressed. Even compared to Dio. A black shirt with one strap, slicked up hair, and white pants with boots? Wow. There was a lot of bad taste in that package. He looked drunk to top it off, and was laughing at the redhead. 

You started to make your way over. As you came closer, their conversation became audible over the bass. 

“Come on, Kakyoin, lighten up! Have a little fun!”

“We shouldn’t be here. It’s too public. Especially with the blood bond, Dio definitely tracked us here.”

You stifled a laugh, coming up to sit on their table. You put on a bubbly, airheaded front and said, “Who’s Dio, handsome?”

The redhead glowered. “Nobody.”

The biggest one snorted and flicked his cigarette ash behind the seat. You smiled charmingly. “Well, can I get you any drinks, boys?”

The one with slicked up hair nodded, already staring at your legs. The redhead seemed to be trying not to look at your tits, but failing miserably. He was blushing madly. The tall, dark haired one was impassive. He glanced you up and down. “A beer for me. I don’t care what kind. The drooling one gets water. Eh! Polnareff!”

The worst dressed of the bunch managed to tear himself away from your legs and look at the tall one. “Oui, JoJo?”

“Jojo” sighed and pulled his hat over his eyes. “Yare yare daze.”

You perked up. “Are you Japanese?”

He nodded. The redhead nodded with him, and said, “We both are. Japanese students.”

Time to gush. You gasped. “That’s so cool! What’s your names?”

The redhead glanced at his friends and smiled at you. He seemed to be warming up to you, which was good. “I’m Noriaki Kakyoin, that’s Jotaro Kujo, and the drunk one over there is Jean Pierre Polnareff.”

You had identified them from Dio’s descriptions by now, but he was cute. Kujo was the one with the most dangerous Stand, though they were all very powerful, and Kakyoin and Polnareff were both deserters from Dio. That couldn’t stand.

 You opened your mouth to say something else, and Jotaro got tired of it. “Eh, woman. Get us our drinks already.”

You smiled and stood up, walking over to him and straddling his lap. He averted his eyes, grumbling. Polnareff whooped. “Get it, Jojo!”

Kakyoin chuckled at him. Your smile turned to a smirk. “Now, is that any way to speak…”

You ground down on his lap and whispered in his ear, “To a fellow Stand user?”

Jotaro stiffened against you, becoming a wall of flexed muscle. His hands closed on your neck, and you smirked. “First mistake, Kujo… My Stand isn’t limited by me.”

A wing flicked out from your back. It threw Kakyoin and Polnareff against the wall. Kakyoin hit with a grunt and crumpled, and Polnareff went limp on impact. Your Stand’s hands materialized around Jotaro’s throat, burning through his skin. Its other pair of arms materialized around his wrists, searing skin and burning into his flesh. He cried out, not expecting the heat of your Stand. His grip slackened, and you pushed off him and jumped a few yards away. The music had stopped and people were fleeing the club at the first sign of trouble. You smirked. “You might be fast, but nothing can stop the holy light of my Stand, Angel of Judgement. It suggests the Judgement card in the tarot deck, and it will not rule in your favor, Kujo. My name is Y/N. You’d better remember that when you’re begging for mercy.”

His hand was on his neck, feeling the burns. “How is your Stand tangible, woman?”

You said, “It’s not. My Stand has harnessed ultraviolet light and radiation. It radiates the light of Heaven, and that light is still intangible, even if it sears your flesh, Kujo.”

It materialized behind you, and Jotaro squinted. It didn’t make any sense. It was almost as humanoid as Star Platinum, but much more graceful and angelic in appearance. It… No. She had four arms, three heads, and uncountable wings, pinwheeling around it like a halo. Her body was covered in countless eyes, opening, closing, blinking, glowing. It shone with an unimaginable radiance, lighting up the dingy club and setting the tables close to it aflame. Staring at it was giving him a headache. He shook his head and looked away. The moment it saw him turn away, it attacked. Your Stand grabbed his jaw and slammed him into the wall. He slumped to the floor, hand shaped burns littered on his body and his head bleeding onto the floor. You licked your lips. “Damn, Kujo. I’d hoped for more. Where’s that famous Stand of yours?”

He looked up and coughed. “As the old man says, ‘The moment an enemy starts to gloat about victory, they have already lost.’ Where is my Stand, you ask? Behind you, bitch.”

You gasped and whipped your Stand around, but Star Platinum was already there. Its fist crashed into your Stand’s jaw, and your vision went black.

You woke up in a hotel bed, with warm sheets over you. You sighed and stretched before remembering what had happened last night. Shit. Where were you? You got up and looked around.  It was a hotel room with two large beds, one of which was made neatly and one of which you had just gotten out of. You heard something faintly. Muffled conversation was happening outside. You crept to the door to listen. The redheaded one was talking. Kakyoin? Yeah. “You removed it?”

Jotaro spoke. “Of course I did.”

Kakyoin breathed a sigh. “Good. She’s no longer a threat?”

Jotaro must have shrugged. Kakyoin spoke again. “Her name again?”

Jotaro huffed an irritated breath. “Y/N. I told you. She told you. Yare yare daze...”

Kakyoin must have nodded.

You noticed you felt different, and immediately touched your forehead. No flesh bud, only a bandage. You sighed, then noticed you were in a long shirt, your bra, and underwear. You shrieked. Someone had seen you naked. Your scream brought in the two inhabitants of the room, Jotaro and Kakyoin. Kakyoin looked frazzled. “What’s wrong?”

You stood up. Oh. Fuck, they were tall. Standing tall, you reached Kakyoin’s shoulder, and Jotaro was at least half a foot taller than him. 

It didn’t matter. You mustered up your courage. “Where are my clothes?”

Kakyoin glared at Jotaro, who looked even more stoic. “I told you she wouldn’t be happy about us undressing her.”

Jotaro glanced at you, pulling his hat down. “Yare yare. We thought you’d be more comfortable like this.”

You glared at him. “Where are my clothes?”

Kakyoin pointed to the armoire. You pulled out your clothes and your bag, which you supposed someone else had grabbed. You went into the bathroom, feeling considerably irritated. You pulled on a pair of shorts, and a tank top from your bag. You stared in the mirror. You looked decent, except for the bruise on your jaw from Jotaro. 

Fuck, you wanted a cigarette. You took a deep breath. Stay calm. 

You went back out, carrying your bag and the shirt they’d dressed you in. “Whoever owns this shirt can have it back.”

Jotaro reached and took it. You shook your head and chuckled a bit. Kakyoin looked confused. “What’s funny?”

You smiled. “You two are hopeless with women, huh?”

Kakyoin flushed. “Uh.…well.”

He scratched the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah.”

You walked to him and craned your neck up to see him. “It’s okay.”

You put your hands on his shoulder to pull him down, and kissed his cheek, then did the same to Jotaro. Kakyoin flushed bright red. Jotaro grumbled. “Yare yare daze.”

He pulled his hat down to hide his blush. You laughed at him. He glared at you through his flushed cheeks. “Watch it, woman.”

Kakyoin hid a smile. Jotaro turned away and walked out the door. Before he left, he turned back, refusing to look directly at you. “The old man wants to talk to you.”

He slammed the door behind him. Kakyoin smiled at you and mussed your hair. “I think he likes you.”

You glared at him. “Don’t be dumb, Kakyoin.”

Kakyoin laughed. “Call me Noriaki. Nobody else does.”

You frowned at him. “That doesn’t make sense.”

Kakyoin blushed. “Well, I…”

You cocked your head. “Whatever you say, Noriaki.”

You walked after Jotaro. Kakyoin stared after you. He’d been joking about Jojo, but he was starting to realize that he himself really liked you.