#joonas is super exciting and just so much fun

[theflyingfeeling]

when I felt happy and carefree again for a while

(= a concert report of a kind from BC @ Särkänniemi 11.8.2023 🖤)

- First things first, the weather report: partly cloudy most of the time, not too warm but not too cold either (until maybe after the gig; I knew I didn't pack my super sexy gloves in vain 😌)

- The atmosphere was rather chill at the amusent park where the concert was held, so we had a chance to hang about and even go to exactly one ride lol (which was quite enough for us and we actually had a fun time and really put the amusement in amusement park tyvm, unlike the other (10-ish) people in the ride who looked like they'd rather be literally anywhere else)

- Also @wearenosaints and I were asked to give our extremely coherent and otherwise correct opinions about the Back To School event to the press like the very important people we are so yeah if you see our faces on the paper tomorrow that's us hiiiii 👋

- I was pleasantly surprised to get MUCH better spots than what I had last time BC played at Särkänniemi (=couldn't see shit from the stage being so low and all the phones and fucking CARDBOARD SIGNS blocking our view), our spots were rather excellent tbh, at least in comparison to what I was expecting

- ...aaaaaaand then the cardboard signs appeared 🙂

- So yeah if anyone was filming a video at that time (just before BC came on stage), the collective voi vittu! that can probably be heard in the background when the signs first appeared that was definitely us hiiiii 👋

- I know the five months between my previous BC show and this one is a short time in the grand scheme of things I guess but I assure you it's felt like half a lifetime at least, so it was an exciting moment to see all the guys run on stage one by one, I was so thrilled about seeing them with my bare eyeballs again that I was surprised everytime any of them showed up lol, for example I think Joonas was the last one I saw and it took a while for him to come to our side of the stage too, so I was like "oh yay Porko's here too!" as if I had forgotten he's in the band as well 😂

- We saw a LOT of Olli and 😩😩😩😩 he's such a sexy motherfucker that I'm actually mad about it. I love how he really puts his whole goddamn pussy into the show, and the way he's so flirty sjfjfjkfkfkffk for a while I thought he had, you know, someone special watching him from the side of the stage because he kept flirting and making faces towards someone on his left side the whole fucking time, but then I figured Santeri was filming there so I guess he was just flirting with the camera like the common slut he is <3

- (and this totally did not give me any fic ideas about flirty!Olli and jealous!Allu 👀)

- Speaking of Aleksi: 😩😩😩😩😩

- He's nice-looking alright although I've never really been that attracted to him, but literally the first time I saw him tonight I was like 'well damn, Aleksi looks fine as hell?' 😩😩😩😩 the hair he has now looks sooooooo good on him, the shirt he was wearing really brought out his tits made him look rather desirable in my eyes, I may have an itsy-bitsy crush on him now byeeeee 💀

- idk man being there just felt a bit like coming home? 😭 there weren't any surprises in the setlist but honestly I didn't expect there to be, it was sort of comforting actually to know exactly how it was going to go and the guys seemed happy about playing in Finland again as well (Niko: "Everyone here knows our songs!!" 😂🥰)

- They also teased us about the Nokia Arena show that's apparently happening at some point in (near?) future 👀 I mean, don’t quote me on this lol they didn't spill any actual deets but it's gotta be Nokia Arena right? I mean, what else could it be lol

- But yeah. Lately there's been so much stuff in my life that's been stressing me out and making me feel uneasy and worried and some of it even a little sad (just earlier today I had to fight back tears in the bus because I was upset about something that had happened I know I shouldn't be upset about and yet...), but during the show? None of that shit mattered. For those 60 minutes, I was so completely happy and carefree again 🖤

- Many thanks to the peeps who tolerated my bad jokes today and only made little fun of my cool and sexy gloves, you know who you are and I love you <3

- See you next week 🤝

[thetimecrystal]

personal reasons I need to know your fave member(s) from BC (if you don't have that's valid ofc)

eheheheh, welllll

i'm super indecisive, but probably joonas, tommi, and aleksi?

[where-pain-is-so-pretty]

Here it is 🏕💜

I know I’m late, got a pretty bad migraine last night and couldn’t finish it in time. But it’s here now! And I’m super anxious but excited to share it with you!

First of all, thank you to the dear anon for coming up with it!

Thanks to @joonasslut and @rpf-bat for adding some more flavour to the idea.

I couldn’t get the thought out of my head for days and my mind created a whole damn story around it. And somehow the thought became my little safe space. So, I just had to write it.

In the end it got a bit angsty and more self-insert than I intended it to be but you’ll see about that later…

I’m repeating myself, but this blog and my shitty little writings are all I have. And both would not exist without you! You all inspire me so damn much, I can’t thank you enough for it! 💜

And now enjoy the mess I made!

I want you so bad in all the worst ways

Joel x ftm! Reader 

Notes: The reader is Nikos cousin.

Niko and Joonas are a couple!

The reader is trans (ftm), it won’t be a huge part of the story, but it made me feel more comfortable writing the whole thing. Hope you won’t mind.

Title is lyrics from Electric Callboys song Fuckboi!

When your cousin invited you to go on a camping trip over Midsummer, you immediately said yes. You did not have any plans yet and hanging with him, his band mates and some friends sounded like a lot of fun. Also, you could use the distraction right now and had not seen most of the guys in forever.

So, you agreed, packed your bags and got picked up by Niko, his boyfriend, Aleksi and Joel the next morning. The four-hour trip up to the woods, where you would meet the others, went by in a flash. You listened to your favourite songs together, sang along to the extra cringy ones and chit-chatted with the boys. Expect for Niko and Joonas you only knew them briefly, but meeting them always felt like you had known them all your life.

After you had arrived and greeted the rest of the group, it was time to go to work. You helped to put up the tents, pumped up some of the air mattresses and also set up a campfire for the night. The most fun you had with Joonas, decorating the whole camp with fairy lights to make it look cosier in the dark.

When everyone had set up their tent, Olli suggested going for a little walk to explore your surrounding. There was a lake with a small beach nearby, some hiking trails and on the other side of the lake was a boat and fishing rental. Otherwise, there was nothing much but untouched nature.

In the evening you all sat down around the campfire, ate self-made sandwiches and had a couple of beers or soda. The mood was light-hearted and you all laughed while Niko and his bandmates shared some funny tour stories. Later Joonas and Joel got their guitars and played some acoustic songs. Niko and Joel sang for the most part, as they switched the guitars between, Olli, Joel, Joonas and Aleksi. It was incredible to watch how fast they could improvise all the songs you suggested them to play.

The acoustic session went on till midnight when the first few people got up and left for their tents. You could have listened to them for hours, enjoying how light and carefree the music made you feel. But soon you also found yourself alone in your tent.

It was not too bad, very comfy for a tent as well. And at first, you were okay with sleeping alone. More space and privacy for you, no one waking you up early in the morning or during the night, sounded like heaven to you. But now, not so much. You could not sleep, it was way too cold, even with two blankets covering you and your raincoat on, which was more than uncomfortable to sleep in. But stupid as you were you had not brought much warm clothing.

The longer you tried to fall asleep, the more your little tent felt like a prison cell. It felt like the walls were closing in on you and this weirdly troubled feeling made you anxious.

With a shaky breath, you zipped your tent open and went outside. You breathed in the cold, fresh air of the night as you slipped into your shoes.

Mindlessly you wandered around the camp, enjoying the cold air in your lungs and the night sky above you. Even though you were still freezing, the little walk helped you to calm down a little.

The fairy lights and some bigger LED lights illuminated the whole ground, so you did not need a flashlight to move around. You made your way over to the small kitchen area, from afar you could make out the silhouette of a person sitting on one of the chairs and you wondered who would still be up at this time. Once you came closer you identified the person as Joel, you were not surprised. His back was facing you, leaning forward in the chair. You thought he must have noticed you by now, but he remained silent, looking down at his phone.

"Good morning!" You greeted him in a low voice, making him jump up from the chair, nearly knocking it over. He turned around to you, his blue eyes full of shock. "Fucking hell! Y/N! You scared the shit out of me!" He tried to keep his cool but the expression on his face already had you laughing. Now that you looked him over you noticed the cigarette in his hands and the phone in his other.

"Joel?! Smoking in the middle of a forest?!", you playfully mocked him with a shit-eating grin on your face. "Bad habit...and I'm careful, okay!" He took a drag from the cigarette. Breathing out the smoke he offered it to you. "Why not.", you took the cigarette from his hands. You did not smoke often, close to never, and maybe it was his bad influence, but it was not like you cared much either. Dragging on the cigarette you breathed in the smoke. It tasted like shit and made your eyes water, but at the same time, it calmed you.

"Why are you up?" He took the cigarette from your hands again. "Couldn't sleep and I thought a snack would help. Where did they put the marshmallows?" You did not want to tell him about feeling weirded out by being alone in your tent. And this little excuse was the best you could do, plus you need something to neutralise the taste anyway. "Try the red box over there." One of his slender fingers pointed at something behind you.

You searched the box for marshmallows, snatching some out of the bag, before closing the box again. Joel had finished his cigarette by now and was staring at you seemingly amused. "You want one?" You asked him, munching down on your late-night snack, to get rid of the bitter taste on your tongue. He shook his head and raised one of his brows. "What's up with the outfit?" You looked down at yourself, you wore your shiny, black, vinyl raincoat, combined with grey Moomin sweat pants and your half-laced leather boots. Not your best outfit for sure, but not your worst either. "Ey, don't shame my Moomin pants when you are combing a shirt from Bleak World with those!", you pointed down at his slippers and laughed. You were sure he did not mean the pants but your raincoat, but for now, you wanted to avoid that topic.

After your comment, about his gorgeous slippers, he went silent. And you thought he was mad at you, but then you saw a grin appear on his face. "Oh, come on, at least I do not look like the pink version of Bob the Builder." He referred to Joonas bold choice of dungarees. You both let out a chuckle before his voice became more serious again. "No, but seriously, why the raincoat?"

"Unfortunately, this is the warmest thing I have brought.", you sheepishly looked down, now admitting your own stupidity. Joel let out a loud chuckle again, examining your outfit once more. "You have been camping before, have you?", a mocking grin on his thin lips.

"Not that often, no. And for some reason, I thought it would not get that cold." You shrugged your shoulders trying to justify yourself and your questionable fashion choice, hoping he would stop making fun of you. But he did not. Joel still had this stupid grin on his face. "No wonder you are awake, nobody can sleep in that!" He laughed again gesturing at your long raincoat.

"Shut up! You are awake too, Hokka!" You tried your best not to sound pissed about his mocking undertone.

"Fair enough. But I struggle with insomnia." You nearly laughed at how blunt his answer had sounded, but you knew that it probably was the reason why he was still up. Niko and Joonas had often talked about it and Joel, also, had always been very open about his mental health. Which was something you admired him for. You still thought about a response, hoping to make the conversation less awkward again. But it was Joel who broke the silence first.

"I can give you a hoodie if you want." His suggestion came out of the blue and you just blinked at him, struggling to find words.

"Uhm, yeah. If you have one spare, I would gladly take it." You were more than thankful for his offer, the hoodie would not fix the weird feeling of your tent, but at least you would have something more comfortable to wear.

You wordlessly followed him to his tent, he opened it and got out of his slippers before crawling in. He began to search his bags for a hoodie and you took the opportunity to risk a look into his tent. It was slightly bigger than yours, he had a double-size air mattress and black bedding. Of course, he was this edgy, you thought to yourself. Between the messy piles of clothing and some cables you noticed a small bird-shaped night light, that illuminated the tent in dim light. You were sure, Niko once had gifted it to him, as a joke. His tent seemed so much cosier compared to yours, you almost got a little jealous.

"Are you going to stand there for the rest of the night?" Joel's voice brought you back to reality. He had sat down on the edge of his bed and glared up at you.

"I thought...I...", you stammered. Joel made an inviting gesture and you followed his silent offer to join him inside. Awkwardly you sat down across from him as he closed the entrance.

"Here." Joel handed you a black bundle of clothing. Thanking him, you took it from his hands and began to get out of your raincoat. Joel could not hold back a smile when he saw the band shirt you wore underneath it.

"Big fan?" He asked you, slightly tilting his head to glance at your shirt again. You had almost forgotten about the oversized HIM shirt you usual wore as a part of your pyjamas. "Yes, I kinda grew up on them. I have a Heartagram tattoo as well." Without thinking you lifted your shirt, revealing your Heartagram tattoo on your left side, as well as some more tattoos and the two scars under your chest.

Joel's eyes lingered on your body for a while, seemingly interested in all the ink on your upper body. "Woah, these are cool! What was your first?" You let go of your shirt and pointed at the quote on your wrist. "Kinda cliche but this one here. Lyrics from my favourite song", you explained. "Mine was the labyrinth." He looked at the tattoo on his right shoulder and smiled softly.

Your eyes wandered over his arms, you always had liked his choice of tattoos, especially the full sleeve with the skyline and the jellyfish. You tried not to stare at him for too long and quickly pulled his hoodie over your head. When you pulled it down you saw that he had given you another piece out of his Bleak World collection. The hoodie finally made you feel a tiny bit warmer and you snuggled into it, breathing in the smell of it made your stomach tingle.

"What other bands do you listen to? Beside HIM?" He asked you before you could interpret the sudden feeling in your abdomen.

"Uh, a lot..." you needed a second to sort your thoughts. Joel's blue eyes looked right at you, awaiting your answer. "Bring Me The Horizon is a big fav of mine, also Linkin Park, Guns n' Roses, Black Veil Brides, Children of Bodom, Iron Maiden etc." You listed some of your faves, looking back up at Joel. He seemed so focused and invested in your conversation, it almost made you swoon. It had been a while since someone genuinely showed interest in you. Joel nodded in agreement. "Some great choices. Especially the first two."

"My turn now!", you grinned at him eagerly to get to know him better. "What was your first concert?"

"Slipknot.", he happily spat out. "Yours?" "Linkin Park, in 2015. I started kinda late with that," you told him.

"No way?! I was at the same concert!" You saw the sparkle in his eyes as he seemed to remember the night of the concert. And after that, he began to talk about his personal journey with Linkin Park and Chester Bennington.  

You two went on like this for a bit, talking about concerts and music and other interests. Until you realized how late it had gotten. It was almost 2 am.

"I would love to talk for longer, but I should probably go back to my tent..." You were about to get up and leave but Joel stopped you. "Why don't you stay here?" You turned back around, a little surprised by his offer. "Are you sure? I don't want to bother you."

Joel looked at you almost shyly, pushing his blond hair out of his face. "I don't mind. There is enough space for both of us. And I have a second blanket somewhere."

He turned around and pulled a fluffy blanket out from under his bag, handing it to you. "Thank you!" You were more than happy about this, firstly because you did not have to go back into your personal prison cell. And secondly, because you enjoyed his company.

"Nah, not for that. Come on make yourself comfortable" Joel gave you a warm smile and stretched his long legs out, laying down on his side of the mattress.

You were about to tell him how much you appreciated his offer and that being alone in your tent had made you anxious. But for some reason, you felt like he already knew that something was up. Maybe because the feeling was mutual to him.

You let yourself fall into the pillow, wrapping the blanket, Joel had given you, around your body. Finally, tiredness overcame you and your eyes grew heavy. Letting out a small yawn, you were about to say goodnight to Joel. But a fade noise caught both of your attention.

Joel and you sat up again, trying to hear where it came from. "Was that a scream? He just raised his eyebrow trying to find out what had created the sound. Then you heard it again, louder this time. It was not a scream but a moan, coming from the tent next to Joel's.

"Are they fucking serious?! It's 2 in the morning!" He rolled his eyes and began to rummage in his bag.

Annoyed you buried your head in the pillow and pulled the hood of Joel's sweater up, hoping it would drown out the noise of Joonas' and Nikos's activity.

"This won't help! Believe me!" He knowingly said and handed you one of his air pods. You happily took it and put it in, pressing your other ear against the pillow. Joel did the same and then scrolled through his Spotify and started one of his playlists.

Gone with the Sin, was the first song coming up and you slightly smiled as you locked eyes with him. Joel still seemed a little annoyed by your neighbours, but his expression softened the longer the song went on. You were still holding eye contact with him and soon noticed him struggling to keep his eyes open.   He was trying to stay awake and silently keep you company. You appreciated his try, but it was late after all, and he definitely could use some sleep. And you could take it as an opportunity to admire him for a bit longer. His blond hair covered half of his face, hanging down in messy strands. The urge to brush them aside to take a closer look at his features got bigger the longer you looked at his handsome face.

And you did not stop there, your eyes wandered down his arms, examing his tattoos once more. Stopping at the rings on his slender fingers. One of his hands was placed next to his phone, only centimetres away from yours. The skin of his fingertips seemed rough from playing the guitar. You wanted to take it into yours, let your fingers run over his palm and the veins on the back of it. And maybe you were wondering how it would feel in yours, against your skin.

Some more minutes passed and his Spotify must have played at least one HIM record by now. Carefully you took the air pod out and placed it beside the mattress, together with his phone after you had stopped the music. The only noises now were Joel's slow breathing and the rustling of the trees outside, and you soon fell asleep to them.

You woke up from voices outside. Still half asleep you could not make out what they were saying, you only knew it was way too early for loud conversations like this. Right now you felt so warm and cosy, you just wanted to fall back asleep.

Something moved against your side and caught your attention. You blinked your heavy eyes open. Joel!

Your sleepy brain had almost forgotten about last night. And now you were faced with Joel's chest in front of you. The "Anxiety" print on his shirt only inches away from your face. One of his arms loosely hanging around you. A small groan came from him, annoyed by the yelling outside, but he seemed to be only half awake yet. He slightly moved and his grip around your waist tightened, his hand lightly brushing against your lower back. You were not sure what to do. Stay like this? Push his arm off? Not that you mind much, it actually felt quite good. But it clearly was not intended.

"Joel?", you softly spoke, scooting away a bit to look up at his sleepy face as you waited for a reaction. Now you also noticed that the two of you shared a blanket. The one Joel had given you was folded next to you, your arms and legs wrapped around it, holding onto it.

All you got from him was another groan and a slight nod. His eyes stayed shut.

"I don't get it? Where is he?" You heard Joonas voice come from outside. Joel opened his eyes with a sigh and rolled on his back, his arm sliding from your body. And you were honestly a bit sad about it.

He grabbed his phone and checked the time, before rubbing his face. "What's wrong with these idiots? It's like seven in the morning." His voice was still raspy from sleep. He glared over at you. "No idea what's going on." You said in a sleepy tone as you stretched your arms over your head. "Morning and thanks for the blanket" you added, hiding half of your face in your pillow. "Morning. You kinda stole it from me, so I did not have much of a choice." He turned back to lay on his side, now directly looking at you.

You felt your face flush red and were more than glad for the big hood to hide behind. "I did what?"

"Yeah, you were tugging at it, seemed like you were cold and I thought I did share mine.", he let out a light chuckle.

You wanted to smack your own face. "I'm so damn sorry about it. I normally sleep with a side sleeper pillow. I need something to hold on to during the night. Should have brought my pillow..." Now you were more than embarrassed, knowing that you had tried to steal his blanket. After he gave you a hoodie, a blanket and shared his damn tent with you. At least you were not clinging to Joel.

He just shrugged. "I don't mind, there are worse people to share a blanket with. Also thought it was c..." Joel's sentence was cut off by Niko screaming and probably waking the whole camp. "THEN CHECK THE DAMN VAN AGAIN!"

Joel and you shared a look. "Did their marriage suddenly end, or what?", he joked and got up.

You did the same, crawling towards the exit and peaking your head out. Joel following close behind you.

Niko and Joonas ran around camp, yelling at each other, like the old married couple they were, searching for someone or something. "Fuck, they are looking for me!", you realized and shared an awkward look with Joel.

"Here!", you yelled and gestured at Joonas who was the closest to you.

"I found him!" He turned to Niko and pointed in your direction. You got out of Joel's tent as Niko walked towards you, seemingly pissed. "What in seven hells have you been doing here? We searched the whole damn camp! TWICE!"

"I...I couldn't sleep last night and we talked for a while and offered me to stay at his tent. "You tried explaining yourself, very confused why he seemed so angry about it.

He interrupted you impatiently. "I don't care! We found your tent open and empty, no sigh of you. We searched the camp for half an hour! I had a damn heart attack!"

"I'm sorry, Niko." You did not intend to scare him or anything but still thought his reaction was a bit over the top. You stayed silent not wanting to make the conversation any more heated.

"Niko, calm your tits, you sound like a youth councillor!" Joel stood behind you, one of his hands rested on your back to give you a bit of support. You both felt like two teenagers who got caught doing something illegal.

For a moment no one said a word, but you could feel the tension between the three of you.

"Breakfast you two! Or I'll kill someone!" Niko then said, still very much pissed.

Joel followed Niko instantly, not wanting to create any more trouble. You sheepishly slipped into your boots, wondering what you could have done wrong.

"What's his problem?" you heard Olli say with a yawn.

"I wish I knew, but seems like I'm part of it..." you sighed.

"Maybe Porko did not make him come last night." Aleksi joked, trying to lift your mood a little bit.

You gave him a weak smile before you followed both of them to get breakfast.

More notes: Niko is a little bitch here!

There will be at least 2 more chapters but it might take awhile.

(September is pretty packed and I also want to work on some requests first)

[theflyingfeeling]

The university AU is one of my favourite fics and I reread it very often 😍 I'd love to hear more about the writing process if you want to share! (regarding the tags in that one post)

Really? 🥺😭💗 Ohh, love to anon for one thousand years <3

It's obviously been a while since I finished writing it, but of course I can share what I still remember! 🥰

While I did have an actual outline for the whole story in terms of what would happen in each chapter and in which order the POVs would be, there were some key moments or sometimes just some very specific lines that I pretty much based the whole fic around:

The Titanic concersation between Joonas and Niko (ch4) (this wasn't actually that important in the grand scheme of things, I just thought it was funny and it's one of my favourite scenes 😆)

“Because I was afraid I would take too many and not wake up at all.” (Joel's line in Ch5.1)

Aleksi "stealing" Joel's leather jacket and Joel buying him exactly the same one to keep as his own

Tommi's answer to Olli when he (drunkenly) wonders who he'll go to for some kisses and cuddles now that Joonas is with Niko (“Beats me.”) + “You’re such a good friend.”

These were the scenes that I REALLY wanted to write, and the rest just sort of...happened? Some of it was planned (e.g. pretty much everything that went down with Joel and Aleksi), but for some of the plot details I had only a vague idea when I began writing (e.g. Niko's background story). There were also some details that ended up working out perfectly by accident, such as Joonas heading over to Niko's when Joel and Aleksi (and Rilla!!) were having a sleepover in J&J's room. For some other plotlines my original idea changed during writing; for example Joonas and Niko were supposed to get together way earlier and easier than they did, but I decided to give them a bit rougher path in comparison to Joel/Aleksi, to avoid having two similar plotlines. Another plot detail I originally had was for Joonas to have had a crush on Olli back in the day (NOT overlapping with Olli's crush on him however) and that to be revealed when Olli confesses, but it didn't seem right in the end.

The only chapter that I never had a proper outline for was the very last one, and I actually only finished it on the day I uploaded it. In a way it serves as a sort of an epilogue, as it hints at a new, budding relationship, but doesn't really give much more than that to the reader.

The Fall Out Boy lyrics in the summaries of each chapter was perhaps one of the most fun parts of the writing process and I was so happy with how many of them turned out. Having said that, I did have trouble finding suitable ones for some of the chapters, but I'm particularly happy with the songs I chose for Olli's chapters, as well as Joonas' and Niko's 2nd chapters, and I like to think as a whole it makes a pretty cool soundtrack (I often imagine my stories more as TV series or movies, so here you might wanna think of Skam-esque use of music).

However, my absolute favourite thing about the whole fic and the creation process was Tommi's silent suffering throughout the story, revealed bit by bit (because if you read it again after having finished it once, you probably look at Tommi and his actions very differently). It was super exciting to write this kind of plotline and I was so so happy with how it turned out; at least based on the readers' reactions, I want to believe I did a good job there 💖

Fun fact: I actually started writing some sort of sequel around February last year, but I had no idea where I was going with it (I only managed a bit of Joel and Aleksi renovating Aleksi's house and Rilla ruining the floor by walking around with paint-stained paws 🥰). I don't have a plot for the sequel, only one VERY vague scene/shot of Tommi/Olli, so unti I can think of what I want to say with thay story (other than showing you that all is well), I'm afraid you're gonna have to keep waiting 😔 But as you may have seen with the Olympics AU, I might get a sudden burst lf insporation from the smallest of things, so who knows really? 👀