#jonhelen

[thediistortiion]

i love fics that write The Distortion genuinely not knowing How to Human and getting something egregiously incorrect.

i don't mean appearance-wise, i mean silly mistakes. trying to wipe up a spill with printer paper because it misunderstood what a paper towel is. calling an animal by the wrong name.

describing emotions in a door/hallway metaphor. ("hallway full of bees" sorry, did you mean butterflies? distortion, you are experiencing butterflies.)

it was literally a door it doesn't know this shit!

i think it has some memories attached to "who" it is, thus why it can tell michael shelley's story, but little details like this? the nuance of the human experience? lost on it. too busy hating being even remotely like a who to stop and attempt to model after them properly.

this makes it mildly offputting and that's the goal so it's content <3

also @ distortion shippers this entity does not know how to kiss. gerry/jon/melanie/whoever else is gonna have to teach it how because it will just stand there, eyes open and everything, being a door.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

i am once again losing my fucking mind over the concept of one-sided jonhelen. helen says to jon "she liked you." and what that really means is "she made me like you". the distortion inherits feelings, we know it inherited michael's anger. imagine being both the water and the blood bleeding into it, you feel yourself dissolving into someone else but you are the someone else you're dissolving into. and then you are one, and you have feelings that were never meant to be yours.

just as michael's hatred of gertrude made him terrorize jon when he was the distortion, i like to think that helen's love for jon made her follow him around the way she did. she wanted to be around him, and she couldn't understand why.

there's also the lack of dignity of it all. going from trying to kill someone to being hopelessly in love with them within a moment. being essentially forced into that unrequited love, and knowing that any second, if they just looked in the right direction, they'd know. a being of pure delusion falling in love with a being of infinite knowledge and exposed secrets. the only person capable of uncovering the truth about her is also the person she's in love with. she continues to willingly put herself into that situation where her very being could be torn into at any second.

i am inventing fucked up scenarios you haven't even considered okay

[starsh0ck]

hello yuri nation i bring you opticalillusion part 2- jon and helen

[a-mossy-amethyst]

Jonhelen is on the mind so here is how jonhelen and jmart can exist at the same time-

Jon and Helen do bond over their struggle with humanity and becoming a monster, but Helen still embraces her role as the Distortion and Jon's struggle (the conflict is even worse as he listens to Helen more) ends in him deciding to keep his remaining humanity and he still runs away with Martin to the safehouse

Jon still has to kill Helen because even though they have a bond neither of them can deny, their goals are more important. It's just way more painful for Jon to kill Helen now

[mattholicguilt]

jon doesn't fuck but he does have textually significant cannibalistic metaphor sex with helen because she ate him and he came inside her and everything is about sex except sex which is about power. and also he killed her.

[guinevere01]

Underappreciated The Magnus Archives fanworks auctions in Fandom Trumps Hate

Here’s an overview of the offerings in the Magnus Archives fandom for @fandomtrumpshate this year, specifically all the ones who at the half-way point (March 3rd, 2pm EST) have no bids yet. Not familiar with Fandom Trumps Hate? In short it’s a yearly fanworks auction of which the proceeds go to charities supporting progressive causes. For the long version click below

Link to Fandom Trumps Hate - FAQ

Bidding runs till March 5th at 8PM EST!

Fanfic

Fanfic #1

Name auctioneer: ghastlyAlkali (link to auction), tumblr: @the-devourer-of-words

Highest rating: E (Explicit)

Length/scope: 5-10k words

Minimum bid: $5

Current high bid: $15

Especially interested in:

I am most familiar with Jon/Martin, but I’d be willing to write for most other pairings. Hurt/Comfort with themes of love and working through differences would be something I’d be interested in writing for, but I could do most other things as well. Happy ending guaranteed. Anything I write for Jon will have him as asexual, but I don’t care which type.

Fanfic #2

Name auctioneer: homeopathic_butthole/Rag (link to auction)

Highest rating: E (Explicit)

Length/scope: 10-20k words

Minimum bid: $5

Current high bid: $15

Especially interested in:

pairings: jonmartin, jonelias (gross only), jondaisy, jonmelanie, jonmartin-jondaisy-daisira poly, petermartin (gross only), jonmelanie-jonmartin-melaniegeorgie poly, melaniegeorgie, jontim, daisybasira, melaniebasira, eliasmartin (gross only), jonmichael, jonhelen, gertrudemary. big fan of poly in general

subjects: whump, porn, abuse, kink, trauma, healing, badwrong, horror, violence, body horror, fluff as long as it's kinky. trans and queer characters and themes

timeframe: any

Fanfic #3

Name auctioneer: Starlocked (link to auction), tumblr: @starlocked01

Highest rating: M (Mature)

Length/scope: Less than 5k words

Minimum bid: $5

Current high bid: $10

Especially interested in:

Soulmates gone wrong, AUs and/or Crossovers with other media, aromantic/asexual/trans headcanons

Fan Labor

Fan labor #1

Name auctioneer:  BlindBeta (link to auction), tumblr: @blindbeta

Subtype: Sensitivity reading

Highest rating: E (Explicit)

Length/scope: More than 50k words

Minimum bid: $10

Current high bid: 

Auction #1, TMA specifically: No bids yet, give this creator some love!

Auction #2, any fandom: $15

Auction #3, TMA specifically: $10

Notes about labor offered: Part time cane user and some experience with Braille. I can research and ask others for any conditions or experiences I do not have myself

Especially interested in:

LGBTQ+

Fanart

Fanart #1

Name auctioneer: MxCaptain (link to auction), tumblr: this is me, hello, you’re here!

Subtype: Pixel art

Highest rating: T (Teen)

Length/scope: Pixel art of up to three characters (dependent on complexity - ie I'll do one detailed/complex character or up to three simple ones) of your choice, with a simple background (think solid colour, repeating pattern, gradient, simplistic landscape) I will do one character sprite + a simple background for the minimum bid of $10, additional characters (up to two extra) for a minimum of $5 each. <- The strike through part is actually an old thing that I failed to delete before the auction went live! Feel free to reach out with what you have in mind, I am quite flexible.

Minimum bid: $10

Current high bid: $20

Especially interested in:

Jon, Martin, Gerry's fun too. Entity imagery

[not-avril]

Distortion finds new ways to annoy

[foccaccia]

jon and helen

(id: a rough inked sketch of jon and helen from the magnus archives. the two are placed in front of a door, and at many points its hard to tell them apart. jon is a thin person with curly hair and instead of a face has eyes in a V shape extending out to a halo of eyes, and he is holding up a cassette in one hand surrounded by eyes, and his other wrist is clutched by a long fingered hand. he wears a tie, and a robe draped around one shoulder. helen is a mess of arms and legs curled around jon, oddly proportioned, and her head is a stretched profile smiling, a hand extending out instead of hair. there are hints of wings with eyes instead of feathers in places. end id.)

[entityjon]

MAG 047 // 115

[infectbait]

*develops a soft spot for jonhelen*

[the-nottea-was-tentacles]

hmmm... #53, jonhelen?

Against a wall kiss, Hmmmmm, this is a little bit longer than the others and less sexy, but at least I finally finished it.

There were all different kinds of hunger. Jon knew many of them well. Actual hunger, or the type of hunger most people meant when they said that they were hungry felt like a dull throb in the stomach but go long enough, and eventually even that will fall away.

Touch starvation or, being skin hungry was easy to ignore. It caused no pain. It was pretty much harmless. But what it did affect was the mind. It inspired depression and anxiety.

But eventually both hungers could be ignored. Oh, sure ignoring one would likely lead to death, but eventually you would stop feeling the pain.

The hunger to feed the Eye was like a combination of the two, but if it was made ever present in your head. A constant beat of a drum, feed your god or it will feed on you. That was the worst part, because when you didn’t feed your god, you feel every piece of yourself it strips away to feed itself.

He was so hungry.

His back was against the wall, as he groaned uselessly. He was so tired all the time, and just making it down to the tunnels took all the energy he had left.

“Archivist, what are you doing?” A familiar voice asked him, sounding close. Jon opened his eyes and looked up. Helen stood in front of him looking down at him curiously, her head tilted to one side. He hadn’t noticed her door, but found it easy to see across from him, its yellow paint stark against the dark grey walls.

“Someone came in to give a statement,” Jon croaked his voice feeling dry and raspy. He didn’t know why he was telling her. “Didn’t want to take it. Came down here to stay away.”

When Helen moved toward him, she left fractals in the air where she had just stood. Jon couldn’t help but watch them.

“You are hungry, Archivist, you need to feed.”

“Can’t, won’t,” Jon told her tiredly, not having the strength to go into his reasons why again. She knew them after all, there was no reason too.

When Helen leaned over to grasp toward him, Jon didn’t even see her move. She simply was standing close enough to touch suddenly. Her hand, too large, too many bones, a strange texture that reminded Jon of damp newspaper, was suddenly grabbing his wrist, pulling him up to her.

Michael’s finger had once cut right through Jon’s shoulder, like a hot knife through butter. But Helen’s hand, while it felt wrong, did not harm him, so he followed it and rose to his feet. He could barely stand, swaying on his feet.

He blinked up at her and noticed her face getting nearer to his, before her lips were on his. Kissing Helen was strange, a combination of feelings and colors that Jon had never associated with kissing. It didn’t feel normal, but then what was normal? It was nice, the pressure of her lips on his, and so he kissed back.

She tasted like static, like white noise. His head hit the stone tunnel walls behind him, her form a pressure that wasn’t reassuring, but still wrapped around him, a distraction from the hunger that infused his entire being.

“Let me take care of you, Archivist,” She told him, as he continued to blearily stare up at her. “They don’t have to know.”

The sigh he gave in response was echoed by the high bouncing giggle that reminded Jon more of Michael than the scared woman he had once met in his office. But he let her pull him with her.

The door swung silently shut behind them, and then was gone.

[helen-richardson]

hello come join the jondistortion discord server and talk about all that good good knifehand holding

[thermodynamic-comedian]

i relisten to the magnus archives season 5. my brain says some diabolical shit like "imagine if helen richardson had an unrequited crush on jonathan sims and those feelings manifested within the distortion as an inexplicable need to constantly be around him". i remember that in the end, jon kills helen. i clutch my head in my hands and fall to my knees. this keeps happening in various different ways forever and ever

[screechfoxes]

so. jonhelen huh

YES

(the almost-joking about jon knowing everything when she first gets there... good shit.)

[a-mossy-amethyst]

Helen and Jon are like warped fun house mirrors of each other I think they should kiss

[mattholicguilt]

playlist Helen would make in hell after Jon tears her to shreds