#jonas dark angst

[wososcripts]

Face to Face (III)

Fridolina Rolfö x reader; Alexia Putellas x reader (platonic); Barça x reader (platonic)

Summary: your Barça teammates swoop in to save the day (or at least they do their best)

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: okay don't kill me but Frido isn't in this much... enjoy some sweet Barça hurt/comfort to make up for it because she'll be back soon. as usual everything is pure fiction and written in good fun! PREVIOUS PART

Warnings ⚠️: medical description, slight angst

"Hola Nena," Alexia said in a hushed voice as she came into your hospital room. Laura and Zećira had left earlier that morning with your mom, assuring you they would be back later in the evening.

Alexia had a stuffed giraffe and a small bouquet of yellow roses in hand, and she looked at you with soft eyes. You smiled at her weakly, the light in the room dim enough that the subtleties in her face were blurred. If you focused too much on them your head began to hurt more intensely.

"¿Cómo estás?"

You gave her a thumbs up, pleased with the smile you got out of her.

It was quickly replaced again with concern as you winced, a sharp pain searing behind your eyes as she set a vase down on the windowsill for the flowers.

"Has anyone else been over to visit?"

You knew it was Alexia's subtle way of asking if Frido had come. As far as you knew Alexia was in the dark as to your relationship (or lack thereof) with the Swede, but you could never be sure with her.

"Laura… Zećira and Magda came right after the game."

Alexia nodded. She took the giraffe and placed it on your chest, shaking it a bit as if you were a child she wanted to entice.

"You know you'll be out of training for a bit, sí?"

"Sí."

You weren't pleased with it, but there was no denying that you needed the rest. You could barely bear to open the blinds for now.

"Jona agrees, you should stay with someone when you get home. A few of the girls have spare rooms, so there's options. Ingrid and Mapí offered, and of course you can stay with me if you want."

You thought for a moment, letting Alexia's fast Spanish sink in. Your brain felt sluggish, as if everything took thirty seconds longer.

"If you don't mind… maybe I can stay with you?"

Alexia put a hand over yours, smiling brightly.

"Of course. I'd be happy to have you."

You chuckled.

"I'm not sure I'll be much fun for the next few weeks."

Alexia shrugged.

"It doesn't matter to me, we all take you how you are."

A comfortable silence fell over the room, and you began drifting off. Alexia promised to stay while you slept, her hand protectively on your calf as she studied up for the next Barça game.

Cómo está la alemana? Alexia saw her phone light up with a text from Mapí. She quickly snapped a photo of you asleep, frowning at your coloring and the wires that monitored your heartbeat. It was just a precaution, but it reminded one of how much worse this could've been.

Sleeping. She replied, attaching the photo.

Her head? Mapí replied immediately.

Not good, but not horrible. No training for a few weeks. Doctor said it was a serious concussion, but not severe.

Alexia watched as the three dots indicating Mapí was texting popped up, then disappeared, repeating a few times. Finally, just the message.

I'm glad she's okay.

Alexia knew there was much more weight behind that text than met the eye. You were vital to Barça—every player was, of course. But you had a kindness in you that helped glue the team together even when things were falling apart. Everyone was fond of you, and those you seemed to have chosen on the team (Mapí included) as your close friends cherished that. It was as if you had shone a light on them just by being around.

Alexia thought just of how much your Spanish had improved in the past few months. You spoke better Spanish than most of the international players—and it wasn't just because you had some kind of propensity for language. Alexia had seen you studying in your free time, listening to podcasts, practicing. She asked you once, why you did that; you replied that you simply wanted to understand them better.

That was how you were, thoughtful and kind and lovable. And it hurt everyone on the team to see you hurt—particularly because there was an added element of complexity with it having been Frido who caused it.

"Alexia?" Your groggy voice called out, "can you hand me my cup of water, please?"

"Of course, Nena."

Alexia watched as you drank slowly, and sat by as a nurse came in to examine you. She checked your pupils again, and didn't look pleased.

"I'm going to ask the doctor to order another round of scans, just to double check that no bleeds have popped up that we didn't see before."

"Why?" Alexia asked, concerned. She didn't feel equipped to deal with this totally on her own, especially with the doctor speaking English so quickly, with seemingly no time to explain or guide her through things.

"They're worried I've got a bleed in my brain because of how I fell, Ale." You explained to her.

"I thought they already checked that?" Alexia replied, trying to keep her Spanish slow enough for you to easily understand.

"Sometimes things can only show up on the scans after a little while, because they start so small. I hurt my head when I was younger in a similar area, so they're being extra careful."

Alexia rubbed her temples, worry increasing massively. She turned to the doctor.

"Will she be able to come home, still?"

"If the scans come out clean, then yes. She can be taken back to Spain." The nurse looked to you and asked in German, "you have a doctor there, yes?"

You nodded.

"She will need to be checked again in a little while, and monitored. Does she live with anyone?"

"She'll be living with me." Alexia assured the nurse.

A little while later, the doctor came in and wheeled you off to the CT scan. Alexia was not allowed to accompany you, so she stayed behind, waiting for you in that empty room. Suddenly it truly hit her how serious things could've been. There hadn't been more than a few bruises on you, so it wasn't as easy to understand how hurt you were. ACL, meniscus, these were things Alexia knew. Head injuries? Those certainly felt more daunting.

"María?" Alexia spoke into the phone.

"Alexia? Is everything okay?"

Alexia bit her lip, wishing she could keep herself in check a little more.

"Alexia?" Mapí repeated.

"Yes, sorry, yes I think so. They took her for more scans and it just… I don't know, it hit me."

Alexia heard Mapí speaking to someone in the background.

"Is someone with you?"

"Sí, Ingrid is here, and Pina and Patri are over for a movie. But I stepped out, so talk."

"The doctors were talking about brain bleeds and surgery, and I just couldn't handle it. She was so calm and I felt like I was freaking out…"

"Brain bleeds?" Mapí exclaimed, fear in her voice. Alexia heard something in the background. "Does she need surgery?"

"They don't know if she has one yet. The first scan was clear but apparently they can take a while to be visible."

"Dios mio… one moment, Ale, Ingrid is demanding I tell her what you're saying."

Alexia listened in to the faint mumblings from the other line, looking at the floor. There were raised voices and then a few more joined in, and Mapí returned.

"You're on speaker now, Ale."

"She has a brain bleed?" Ingrid’s voice appeared, a mix of anger and concern evident.

"No, no, they don't know yet. They're checking."

"Is she talking? Does she seem okay?" Patri interjected.

"Sí, she was talking fine. Her head hurts, of course. She can't handle much light, or focus very well yet." Alexia paused. "I don't know if she seems okay, but she'll recover."

The muttering on the other end picked up again, this time more audible. The girls were worried, of course.

"Why the hell did Frido hit her so hard!" Patri exclaimed, then it sounded as if someone had lightly smacked her. But nobody seemed to have a good answer.

Alexia explained what more she could from what the doctors and Laura had told her about your condition, and promised to update them again later. Ingrid promised to keep the other girls in the loop so they wouldn’t bother Alexia, which she appreciated. Everything felt overwhelming enough as it was.

Eventually Alexia hung up once she heard your voice from outside of the door.

“Brain bleed free, Ale!” you smiled as the nurse wheeled you back into the room. You had the stuffed giraffe she gave you clenched in your hand, and you waved it at her as you spoke for emphasis.

“Yep, the scans look perfectly normal.” The nurse affirmed. “Now let’s not try our luck for a third time.”

You saluted her as she left the room, falling quiet soon after. Alexia could see that you were still low on energy.

“Why don’t you rest a little more? I’ll deal with the paperwork in the meantime. Then we can get you home.”

-

Olga had made up your room already when you arrived back in Barcelona. She greeted you and Alexia at the door, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend's lips and pulling you in for a soft hug.

"¿Cómo estás, linda?"

"Okay," you gave her a small smile.

"You're my baby for the week," Olga said, taking your arm out of Alexia's hold and instructing her to take your bags into the guest room.

You chuckled as Alexia rolled her eyes playfully and followed orders.

"Does it hurt a lot?"

You nodded, feeling like you could be honest with Olga.

“My ears won't stop ringing… it's driving me nuts.”

"Why don't you go and lay down on the couch for a bit? I'll make dinner in a little while."

After changing into a borrowed shirt and sweats you settled with your head in Alexia's lap. She was stroking your hair very gently, trying to do what she could to make you feel better. Once you were asleep she looked to Olga.

"How are you, mi amor?"

Alexia rubbed her eyes.

"Tired."

"You've had a few very difficult days… she'll be okay."

Olga looked at your sleeping form.

"I'm not sure how to approach it at practice next week." Alexia fell quiet, "I can't help but feel upset at Frido, because I don't understand. If she had looked worried, gone to visit, something, then it wouldn't seem so bad. But she just got up and ran away, didn't seem to care at all. It's so unlike her."

"You let her know that behavior isn't acceptable, yes?" Alexia nodded, "then that's all you can do. And keep an eye on her."

-

You walked out onto the training pitch carefully, a pair of sunglasses covering half of your face and a cap on your head. Alexia held your elbow, keeping you close. You were already shorter than much of the team but you somehow looked even smaller tucked into yourself like that. Hardly anyone had seen you since you got home because of Alexia's insistence that you rest; only Patri had managed to convince Alexia to let her come over, and that was because she was one of your best friends on the team and you were dying of boredom.

Frido hadn't seen you, or heard from you since the friendly. She hadn't been allowed in your hospital room when they kept you overnight for observation, nor had she tried to visit you as you stayed with Alexia. Part of her had been too afraid to ask her capitan if she could come over. And you weren't allowed any screens, so texting was a no-go.

Ingrid, Mapí, and Pina all came rushing towards you, slowing once they were near your pitiful form.

"How are you feeling, bebita?" Mapí asked softly, putting a hand on your shoulder.

"Like shit," you mumbled, giving her a grin.

"With the way your head bounced, it's a miracle it's still attached!" Pina joked in a whispered tone, prompting a smack on the arm from Alexia.

You chuckled, clearly not bothered.

Ingrid, who had been quiet until now, wrapped you in a soft hug. She was careful with your entire upper half though she didn't need to be. You returned her embrace, looping your arms over her shoulders.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She mumbled to you.

You nodded, patting her cheek as she pulled away.

After that Alexia declared that you were going to sit in the shade and were not to be bothered, a glance thrown specifically at Patri and Pina. The rest of the team nodded, giving you quick smiles and thumbs up. Frido continued to stand awkwardly on the side, not sure what the best thing to do was. Would you even want to talk to her? Probably not.

Alexia walked you over to the bench and gave you water and some ear plugs to quiet the noise of the field. Unfortunately you couldn't really do much, no reading or phones allowed. All you could really do was sleep, which you did not long after, lulled by the warm air and low sounds of your teammates playing.

You didn't wake up until about an hour later. You were hot in your light jacket, so you shucked it off and gently sat up. Your sunglasses made it so your head didn't hurt too badly. Caro noticed you were awake and waved at you. You waved back, sending her a smile.

Alexia had mentioned that everyone sent messages of well wishes, not only your Barça teammates but your German teammates, and even a few from the Swedish team. You couldn't use your phone to see them, but Alexia had read them to you one by one. It was a little overwhelming, the support. Even players you had only interacted with a few times had reached out to check in.

"Hola cari" Patri said, flopping herself down next to you. It was a water break, and you could see the team dispersing to grab their bottles from their bags.

"Hola, Patri."

"Here," Patri shifted so she was sitting up, and patted her lap for you to put your head in. "How do you feel? Is it okay if I talk in Spanish or is English better for your head?"

"How about German?" You joked, prompting a large smile from Patri.

"Hallo?" She said, her Spanish accent laughably thick. You patted her leg fondly.

"Spanish is okay. It doesn't hurt my head anymore than a different language."

Patri began to stroke your hair as the two of you caught up. You learned that she had fought hard to get you to stay with her even though she only had one bed (the couch was a perfectly fine alternative for her, she had tried to tell Alexia), and that she was going to the coast during the next break with her family. You told her about seeing your family in Germany before the match, and how big your niece had gotten. Before long, another presence joined you.

"Hi," Caro's soft voice called.

She crouched down in front of you two, giving a faint smile.

"Do you need anything? Did you bring anything to eat?"

You shook your head, and Caro disappeared for a moment. When she returned, there was a bag of crackers in her hand, and a banana.

"I also found this at the supermarket."

She pulled out a packet of cookies, a German brand that you loved as a kid.

"I remembered seeing them when I was playing at Wolfsburg all the time…I figured since you're from around there maybe you knew them?"

You took them from her and held her hand, squeezing it in thanks. It brought tears to your eyes.

"I loved these when I was little… thank you Caro."

Caro smiled at you, taking a seat on the grass across from you and eating quietly. The Norwegian wasn't much of a talker, but she showed her affection just by hanging around.

"Here," she offered some of her water, realizing you had run out.

You took the bottle hesitantly, but Caro was firm.

"Drink, it will help your head."

Soon it was time for everyone to get back on the pitch, and you were left alone again. You put on a podcast through your headphones, passing the time as best you could.

The podcast served mainly as background as you watched your teammates train. It was hot today, and you could see everyone having to work a little harder to keep up. Your eyes fell to Frido naturally, even though you wished it weren't the case. She was partnered with Aitana doing passing drills. Her form was near perfect, you were jealous of her impeccable footwork. She looked beautiful: her hair was done up in a bun, her legs were glowing in the sun, and the muscles in her arm rippled as she picked up her water bottle to get a quick drink. It was disappointing that you still wanted her, even after all of this. Maybe something was wrong with you.

Later, as you waited for Alexia to finish with some promo stuff, Ingrid wandered over to keep you company. Mapí must have been getting a little extra physio time since she had only just been cleared after her injury.

"Can I sit?" She asked you, gesturing to the spot where you sat on the field.

You nodded and smiled, pulling your headphones out.

"How are you feeling?"

You shrugged.

"It's not so bad now, just like a regular headache. They gave me some medication but I'd rather not…"

Ingrid rubbed your shoulder, pulling you a little closer to her.

"You gave us quite the scare."

"Don't tell me you watched the video." You shifted to look her in the eye. "I know it freaks you out, makes you paranoid."

Ingrid smoothed the crease between your eyebrows with her thumb.

"Don't worry about me. Now is the time for us all to fret over you."

You huffed and rolled your eyes, wincing as it hurt your head.

After chatting for a little while Ingrid began braiding your hair into the intricate patterns she had learned to do as a kid. She took care not to pull at your scalp too much, and the gentle motion of her fingers felt lovely on your head. You were more relaxed than you had been in months.

"Has Frido said anything to you?" Ingrid finally asked after a stretch of silence.

You raised your eyebrows, surprised at the question.

"No, we haven't spoken since before we went on international break."

Ingrid paused, but didn't press. You felt her desire to do so, however. You wondered if Frido had spoken to her at all.

[pelova4president]

Shadows are to protect I

Alessia Russo x Putellas!Reader

shadows are to protect II, III, IV

summary~ You just moved to Arsenal and everything was unknown to you but now you had Alessia. Your situationship with Alessia was everything but perfect but at least she was there, sometimes.

this is pure angst

Alessia is your whole heart. You could tell her that a thousand times and she still wouldn’t leave her boyfriend.

He doesn’t even get her, not like you do. He doesn’t appreciate her like you do. It should be you holding her hand on the streets. It should be you kissing her in the bars of London.

You didn’t really know when you started to feel that way. You’d just moved to England, a very scary move from your comfortable and warm Spain. Spain and Barcelona was all you’ve even known. Expending your world was just as terrifying as you’d ever believed.

The welcome was cold, very cold. It was the completely opposite of what you were used to, it was quite literally what you were petrified of. You left the warm sun kissing the dark little freckles on your face and exchanged the English rain dropping down on your hair. You weren’t even sure what to call it, not in English and not in Spanish either.

But even now you weren’t sure if you’d go back and stay in Barcelona. The sun might shine there most hours of the working days but you’d always be in the shadows. In the shadows of La Reina, Alexia Putellas, your sister.

The two coloured club had offered you a contract extension where you’d get paid twice the amount you did last year. You’d driven to the club like you did most days but this time you had one thing in mind, or so you thought. Signing for another three years and being the average defender in the team for whenever one of the original starters couldn’t participate.

A red and blue pen rested between your thumb and point fingers as you listened to your manager talk about the future. But most of it fell to deaf ears. “Alexia and you would be the head of the Champions League campaign. Imagine this, the Putellas hermanas on top of Europe.” he said full excitement. It wasn’t the whole campaign that set you off but how he began his sentence, ‘Alexia and you’.

You were sitting here, ready to sign your contract, for your future. They wanted you to sign and still their first thought was Alexia.

Without saying a word you stormed off. You were not doing this again for three more years.

You had spiked interest from multiple clubs, not only Europe but America too. But when Arsenal let your agency know that they wanted you, you knew that that was it. From now on you’ll be a gunner, through and through.

You got picked up from the Airport. With a sign reading ‘Putellas’. It felt good. They didn’t have to clarify which Putellas sister they were picking up, there was only one in London now, you. The bigger man, he might’ve even be twice the height of you introduced himself. And with the little English you had in store you thanked him and told him your name.

The man you now knew as Keith was a simple man. He opened the door for you and didn’t say much. You liked it that way, the silence was fine by you. You liked that the intimidating car you were sat in had tinted windows. Not so you couldn’t be seen but because it gave you some sort of comfort. When you were younger and Alexia was a rising star she had you sit in the backseat, where nobody could see you and where you’d be safe she’d say.

The little droplets of rain were doing races and you had lost for about the twentieth time when the car came to a stop. Keith grumbled something about being there and got out. You didn’t really know what to do and what they expected of you so you opened the car door. Picking your bags up you placed your right foot outside and your left followed.

It all went too fast, Jonas showed almost all the rooms in the building and the wet pitches that were not in any state to be used. You had to film a few shots for your signing announcement, get through a few medical test and finally got to go home.

Keith drove you to your temporary apartment just a few minutes away from the training ground. You had a streak of almost one hundred days of English on Duolingo so you thanked the tall man in the few words you had learned to say and got out of the black Range Rover.

You were home. You were home, you kept repeating those words but you didn’t believe it. You were home.

This is it now. North London is your new home.

The appartement was empty except for the blank furniture, it had no personality and it was hard to think there ever would be. Four white walls, a grey couch, a black kitchen and an all white bed in the middle of your bedroom. They didn’t even tell you that the kitchen would be just as empty as the apartment.

The sound of a notification alarmed you out of your emotionless state. You forgot to put your phone on do not disturb. ‘Where are you?’ it read. Alexia knew you didn’t sign for Barca the day before but she didn’t know you’d be gone by the morning. Tapping on the do not disturb mode you traveled to your all white bed.

And that is how it went, do not disturb mode on. You we there, at the training ground and the games but not really there. You weren’t in the right mindset to talk to anyone yet and that’s why it was so goddamn frustrating when McCabe or Mead tried to get you to talk.

You sat alone at lunch, didn’t go out with your teammates and barely stayed in contact with your sister. That was until Alessia Russo came into your life.

You didn’t mean to let her in. You decided early on that you were at Arsenal for your career and career only. But she changed that, so quick. And before you knew it you were falling for her.

She came into Arsenal and everyone was a fan of her. It seemed like she was friends with everyone instantly and it made you curious.

Alessia had been a gunner for almost a week when you realised she lived across from your apartment. She came knocking on your door one evening, offering you some of het pasta since she had made too much. You knew that she’d been searching for an opportunity to get you to talk to her but you didn’t expect her to come knocking at your door like that.

You let her in and she started to talk to you. You couldn’t exactly call it a conversation since she did all the talking and you muttered out some broken English once in a while. But even though you hated to admit it, she was nice company. It made you feel less lonely, she made you feel less empty.

You’d told Alexia about your move to Arsenal before it officially came out and she wasn’t pleased, at all. She was mad, mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You told her what had happened and what was racing through your mind when you made the decision but she just couldn’t fathom out the thought of you feeling that way. And that made you feel even less understood, it felt like your life was slipping away from you and you only made it worse with every next move you made.

But Alessia made you feel like you were okay for a moment. After the first day of eating together she offered you food almost everyday and after a month it became a tradition, you would diner together every single day and she even learned you English. You didn’t really progress in your Duolingo streak and didn’t talk much either so the help was very much needed.

It wasn’t until the first half of the season had been played that you realised you had other feelings for her. You saw her as more than just a friend. It was all going very fast and the feelings intensified by the day, that may be because she was the only one you really could talk to. It hurt you to even think about living without her and that might’ve the first warning you should’ve seen but you didn’t.

It was Alessia who kissed you first. You both had been drinking and the two empty bottles of red wine next to your grey couch were the evidence of that. Alessia was a touchy person, just like everyone in Spain so you didn’t mind. She was giggly and teasing you relentlessly.

“I bet you think about me hmm?” she hummed and started to climb on top of you. Taken aback by the movement you didn’t really react to anything she had just said. “I want to kiss you.” she whispered into your ear that was tinted red by now. You didn’t answer. “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay.” she leaned in, placing her pink lips on your red ones. It was sweet but turned desperate very quickly.

The blonde slept sweetly beside you that evening. The thoughts raced through your mind and none of them were making any sense. It was hard to think straight with Alessia next to you, that was what made things so complicated. But now that she was laying in your bed you couldn’t not have her there, you needed her.

Alessia started to stay over more and more, it became your new normal. Half of her closet was laying in yours and she even brought her favourite mug with her. You bought all her favourite foods so she would feel comfortable and she appreciated it, just not enough to stay with you.

You came home on a Thursday evening one day but Alessia was nowhere to be found. Normally she would be laying on your couch, watching some sappy Netflix show you refused to watch with her. A bowl of nuts in her hands she didn’t really like but it was a healthy snack so it would do. But the only thing you found on your couch was her blue hoodie. Well it was yours originally but she basically claimed it as hers now.

Putting your cold groceries away you walked towards Alessia’s front door. She had given you her spare key after leaving hers in her home, locking herself out for the second time. She had bought a keychain with it, a little Barca jersey with your name and number on it. You smiled down at the colourful jersey and opened the door.

Walking in you heard some laughter coming from the living room that you could describe in detail. It was a light living room with two big windows that were open at all times, she liked it that way. She bought a brown couch after you broke her beige one. You had gifted her a few plants to make the room a real living space but knew she didn’t really care for them so you’d come in and give them water.

The photo’s in her hallway were those of her mom, dad and brothers, who she adored so much. And even though she didn’t like to have pictures of herself in her home she had one of her and her best friend Ella after winning the Euros.

When you stepped into the living area you were a bit taken aback by the man sitting next to your Alessia. His left hand was draped over her shoulder, like it was the most normal thing. His right was resting on her thigh. Who was he?

You stood still, watching the pair until Alessia noticed you. Her eyes had gone wide. “Hey, what’re you doing here?” she asked carefully. You didn’t answer. “Luke, this is my teammate, and well, this is my boyfriend Luke.” she introduced you and stalked towards your frozen form.

Boyfriend? You thought..

Alessia gave her boyfriend some weak excuse and walked you back to your apartment. You were in your own home again, a safe place. When Alessia started to talk again you cut her off. “I- you have a boyfriend? I thought we had.. something?” you looked almost lost to her. “Well, you thought wrong. Whatever you thought we had, we didn’t.” she said without any emotion behind her eyes, like she hadn’t spent the whole of last week in your house, in your bed, wearing your hoodie.

She left your house like nothing had happened.

Were you really that stupid, did you really think she’d like you. You had created this whole other reality, one where she’d actually like you and wanted to be with you.

You kept to yourself even more now. Alessia had gotten you out of your shell to some extent but now you had crawled back in again. Every moment you weren’t training or playing football you were at home but it didn’t feel like home anymore. It wasn’t as empty as it was when it arrived but it felt like it. The life had gone away and that’s not something you can fix with a few overpriced paintings and some weird cactus.

You couldn’t eat dinner without Alessia, you couldn’t watch horrible movies without Alessia and you just couldn’t sleep in a bed without Alessia.

It was the one time you decided to go out and drink that she came over to talk to you again. She acted like nothing had ever happend, like it was back to normal again, like she had slept in your bed the day before. But you liked it, craved it even. You had longed for Alessia to come back again and save you from yourself.

So she ended up in your bed and stayed long enough for you to fall asleep. But not long enough for you to wake up to her scent or her sleepy blue eyes and messy blonde hair.

It went on like that, she came home with you for the night and you forgot about all the things she had done to you and you woke up to an empty bed. You did feel bad for the Luke guy, well you did in the beginning but somewhere along the way you started to lose that sympathy.

You were mad. Angry. He could drive her to training and hold her hand out in public. He could kiss her on the streets and wake up to her snuggled next to him. He could have all those domestic little moments and gestures you longed for. It wasn’t fair.

Alessia had prepared dinner for the both of you and you were watching a movie when you felt the need to talk to her about this whole situation. “Lessi, i really like you. I want you and i to be together because i love you.” there, you said it. Alessia didn’t look at you, she stared blankly at the movie infront of her. You reached for the distraction playing on the television and paused it but she still wouldn’t look you in the eyes.

“I love you.” you repeated again, hoping for a response. She sighed, “Look, i don’t know what you think we are but we aren’t that. I don’t know how many times i have to tell you this but i have a boyfriend and you’re just there for a quick fuck. That’s all. You’re not special just because your sister has won a few trophies. I can’t do anything about the fact that you’re fucking lonely but leave me out of it.” she hissed.

You just said you loved her, for the first time. You handed her your fucking heart and she stomped on it like it was nothing. Alesia knew your relationship with your sister was complicated and being in her shadows was something that hurt you the most in this world, but yet she brought it up. You’d told her everything you never dared to say out loud and she used it to damage you even more. She is your whole world but to her you’re a ‘quick fuck’.

You were hers but she’d never be yours

“Please go away.” you asked her, tears threatening to escape your tired glossy eyes.

You were left alone in your apartment and the loneliness was more torturous than ever. The fucking lasagna Alessia had made you had turned cold and you looked at the wooden table infront of you. There was a picture of you and Alexia framed, Alessia had printed it out to make you feel more like home but it only made you miss it more, especially now.

Looking at your phone you opened your chat with your sister. You hadn’t texted her in about a month, the last text being about your mothers birthday that you couldn’t attend.

You needed her, you needed you sister to protect you. You needed her to protect you from the sun and to place you in her shadows again. For once it was all you desired.

A/N let me know what you think of the fic!! Also, i don’t know if i should write a second part and if or how i should end up Alessia and R together. I could make R fall in love with someone else too??

[pers1st]

can't quit you - alexia putellas x reader

pairing: alexia putellas x reader

warnings: bit suggestive, angst but happy ending

Taking a quick breath in after sleepily glancing at your phone to check the time, you shoot up in the bed that is not yours, next to the body that is not your dog's, whipping around. Your head drops as you get ever so dizzy, and you hit the nightstand next to the bed with a loud bang.

"Ow", you wince, holding your forehead tightly and pressing against it, as if that would help your pain in any way.

"Joder", a soft voice mumbles next to you as you push the covers back, revealing your still naked body. Usually, it would be dark when you left Alexia's bed, but by now, the sun had risen and you were late.

Fuck.

"Get up", you instruct her as you crawl out of the warmth of the bed, hastily gathering the clothes you'd left on the floor last night.

"Ale, we have training." The blonde is still laying in bed, the duvet cover all the way up to her nose as she shields herself in comfortability. She doesn't react to your words.

"Ale, we're late", you huff as you pull your sweatpants on. At that, the seemingly unconscious body shoots up, banging her head the same way you had.

"¡Joder!", she curses as she mimics your actions.

It's been two months since you last spent a night in Alexia's bed. Your relationship was a long and stable one, and when you broke the news to your teammates, every single one of them was shocked.

You and Alexia, however, weren't. Despite the two years you called yourself her girlfriend, the both of you agreed that it was time to call it quits. Time to go back to being friends. You let yourself become too comfortable, and, along with it - clingy. The two of you could never be apart, and you both know that it wasn't beneficial for you or Alexia individually.

Still, you know that, no matter what happened, you can always count on Alexia, and so the breakup felt less like a stop in your relationship and more like a shift. That's how you found yourself in her bed after a team night out, and then, just a month ago, the two of you silently agreed that whatever this was - it was okay. You had, after all, agreed to remain friends (with benefits, it seemed).

But the golden rule of it all seems to be that you don't stay over. You and Alexia agreed to spend time apart, to be on your own, and although it included late night calls and (sometimes drunken) hookups, you didn't sleep over anymore. You didn't wake up in her arms anymore. Until today.

"Ale, I don't have any training clothes", you sigh, the realization dawning on you that of course, you didn't pack an overnight bag. Why would you? You never stay over.

"So? Wear mine", Alexia shrugs, throwing a pair of shorts into your face. You duck away quickly and watch as the fabric gets caught on the lamp.

"Yeah, sure", you chuckle.

"You go to training, I'll be there once I've driven by my house."

"But that'll mean more extra laps, no? Just wear mine", Alexia huffs, seemingly unbothered by your problem. It's, however, not as easy as it used to be.

"I can't, Ale. We're not together anymore, we don't share clothes, we don't fucking fall asleep together!"

You didn't notice your voice raised until Alexia raises her eyebrows at you, wincing ever so slightly.

With her still looking at you like a deer caught in headlights, you grab your keys from her wardrobe and leave her behind, not caring to say goodbye.

Your ex-girlfriend confuses you. How does she not see the problem? How does she not see the gravity that comes with the night you spent at her flat? How does she not understand the problems this causes?

You huff in annoyance as you walk towards your car, knowing that you'll be running laps for a good half-hour after training, seeing as officially, you were supposed to be there five minutes ago. With the extra ten minutes it took to go home, and the fifteen minute drive to the training grounds, you know that Jona will have a very stern talk to you. The only hope you can cling onto is that Alexia is already there, and the fact that no one notices how weird it is for the both of you to be late on the same day, when you usually never are.

Jona's words are harsh, but they are nothing you can't handle. Alexia already finished her laps during training, it seems, as she is not with you while you round the pitch over and over again. With only two laps left, you speed up slightly, not noticing the figure sat on the bench before you finally come to a stop, reaching for your water bottle.

Keira raises her eyebrows at you silently as you take greedy gulps. It's not a particularly warm day, but the sun is beaming down on the pitch as if it is Summer and the excessive running left you dry.

"What happened? You're never late."

You know by her tone that she is hinting at something, but you shrug as the two of you begin walking towards the building.

"My alarm didn't go."

It's a lie. You didn't even set an alarm, with how exhausted you had been last night. Keira wants to say something else, you can sense it in the way she keeps looking at you and then back down, but you don't urge her to, because you don't want to hear it. You don't want to hear anything, really. You didn't speak a single word to Alexia during training, dodging her every time you were asked to partner up and not cheering her on the way you usually did.

Even now, as you joined Keira for lunch in the cafeteria after a quick shower, you lead your friend to the table furthest in the back, away from everyone else. She doesn't mind, though, instead yapping to you about everything and nothing. Aitana joins you halfway through your meal, and you quickly become the third wheel, though you can't exactly complain. Your head is dangerously close to exploding, with the speed that thoughts are racing through your head.

Maybe sleeping with Alexia after the breakup has been a bad idea. After all, you split because it seemed impossible to spend time away from each other. With the excuse of remaining "friends", you still partnered with her every time, made conversation with her about everything and nothing, ended up in her bed every evening just to escape mere minutes later and pretend nothing happened. It's a vicious cycle, and it needs to stop. And that realization is what's bothering you the most. The fact that you need to stop. The fact that you actually need to be apart from the woman you still love so dearly.

You don't notice Keira and Aitana already left until a new body appears in front of you. Glancing up, you find the one person you didn't wanted to see.

"Estas bien?", she asks, looking down at your full plate. Feeling nauseous all of a sudden, you declare your lunch finished and throw your wet hair over your shoulder.

"Sí", you mumble as you rise from your seat, beginning to walk to the tray of dirty dishes.

"Estas segura?"

"Sí, Ale", you huff, reaching around her to discard your plate.

"Okay", Alexia shrugs. "Are you coming over tonight?"

You shake your head, looking at her with a stare that, admittedly, she doesn't deserve. Alexia isn't the catalyst of this problem, anyways. It was the both of you who made this decision, silently agreeing on a plan that now seemed so foolish. How did you expect to spend every night with her, not allowing yourself to be embraced by her warmth and love, and not fall for her all over again? Alexia agreed to the breakup. She is okay with the two of you not being together again. So, why the hell aren't you?

"No, I can't tonight", you reply, though it is a total lie. You don't have plans at night, ever, because you always know where you'll be. Where you would have been. If the two of you were still together.

"Okay", Alexia says, though it sounds more like a question. You can't seem to stand in her presence for another second, as you bid her a quick, cold-hearted goodbye only to sprint away from the cafeteria and to the locker room to gather your bags and speed home.

Alexia and you agreed. You need to be alone. And you need to practice it, now that you can't drag yourself into her arms again. There is no space for you anymore.

You can't seem to sleep on your own. Before, you were so worn out from Alexia's persistence to wreck you in every possible, leaving you in a sleep so deep the only thing to get you to stir was your shrieking alarm. Now, though, you fall into bed with a thousand thoughts rummaging through your head, and you lie awake for hours, watching the sun set, watching the sun rise, all while tossing and turning around, desperate to find rest.

It's not difficult for the team to catch on. You sweat off every bit of concealer meant to hide the shadows beneath your eyes, and your movements are slow - hazy, almost. Your performance is average, at most, and no one had ever seen you perform averagely.

Alexia notices too - at least you hope, because there is no way she can just forget about you, is there? She watches you curiously, but she never says a word about your piss poor sprints, your late passes or weak shots.

Even Jona seems hesitant to say something - and that is what you're left with. Everyone looking, no one asking. Everyone noticing, no one checking. The whole situation is beginning to drive you insane - Alexia is starting to drive you insane. Though she is not the culprit of this, you can't help but feel your heart wither away every time you look at her and feel just a little bit of anger. This isn't how you want to feel about the woman you loved for such a long time.

It takes you exactly a week to end up in her bed again. Alexia doesn't ask why you are behaving the way you are, and she doesn't react to your hesitation to come over to hers again, which makes you crave her even more. You're a bit like a child, when it comes to these things. You always seem to want what you can't have, to want what doesn't want you. Her head just peeks up from between your thighs as you lean back into her cushions, eyes hazy and head spinning. Alexia is so, so good to you. The anger is long forgotten, at this point.

"Estas bien?", she asks the way she always does, and it causes you to chuckle.

"Sí, Ale. Muy bien", you huff, as she lays down next to you gently, her own body covered in beads of sweat. You push yourself up from the mattress with the last bit of strength you have left, gently straddling her lap as you lean down to capture her lips in another kiss. Realistically, you are worn out, at this point. You've been in Alexia's bed for hours, and the both of you are likely satisfied. But it is so hard to leave.

She chuckles into your lips, intertwining the both of your hands with hers as you finally steal another kiss from her.

This- it felt oddly domestic. There was a softness in her eyes that you haven't seen- or potentially just not noticed, since the two of you broke up. It makes you stop in your tracks.

"What's wrong?", she asks as you lean back on her lap, looking at this glint in her eyes that completely captures you. You can't describe it, but this feels so right- being here, in her bed, being on top of her, laughing, kissing, sharing intimacy, the look in her eyes as she gazes at your every inch, that it feels entirely wrong. These moments are over. Your relationship is over. You have to remind yourself, again and again.

"I should go", you huff silently, pressing one last kiss to her lips before climbing off of her. You almost whimper at the loss of contact, but you rise to your feet anyways, searching for your clothes on her wooden floor.

"You could stay." Alexia sits up, patting the spot next to her as she looks at you, following your every movement with her eyes.

"No, Ale. I should go", you remind her, and remind yourself, and pull your hoodie over your head.

"I'll see you tomorrow?", you ask, though it is a given. The two of you always see each other at training.

"Will you partner with me for passing?", she asks back, a chuckle on her lips.

"Why? Miss me already?"

You only catch the meaning of what you said by the time you are in her hallway, and you pull the door of her apartment close a little harsher than expected. Alexia doesn't miss you. The both of you know it.

It seems like a vicious cycle that the two of you are caught in. Every time you decide to put some distance between the two of you, it leaves you craving her even more. It almost feels like an addiction you are so badly trying to break, but you relapse every time, soaking in every second you can spend in her arms. You go over to hers a few times, indulging the attention she gives every inch of you, and then you leave her high and dry, the wall between you rising again as you dodge her during training and outside of it.

Just last night, you were in Alexia's arms, letting her take care of you the way she always does, letting her kiss every inch of you until there was nothing left and the two of you were breathless.

Today, you didn't speak a single word to her.

Unable to stand the silence in your apartment, you asked Keira to join you for dinner at home, after texting Alexia that you couldn't come tonight.

Alexia, obviously, doesn't seem to believe you as she knocks on your door furiously, all the while Taylor Swift is echoing off the walls of your kitchen quietly, with Keira sitting on the countertop, stirring the pasta every now and then. It is dark in Barcelona already, and just twenty four hours ago, you were with Alexia. Still, she is the last thing you expect when you open the door.

She is dressed in sweats, but she still looks so good. It takes you a second to actually recognize her presence.

"Alexia, I have-"

a guest.

That's what you intended to say, but the woman pushed past you already, barging through your apartment.

"We need to have a talk", she declares as she strides through your hallway. You only manage to catch up to her by the time she has noticed Keira, who looks between the two of you questioningly.

"You, out!", Alexia points to the door as Keira shakes her head, a grin on her face.

"But we haven't had dinner yet!", she protests with a chuckle, but at seeing Alexia's stern face, which isn't kidding in the least, she looks at you, pleadingly.

You shrug. No one disagrees with Alexia.

"Wow, just kicking me out? I'm hungry, you were supposed to feed me! I can't believe this", she mumbles as she pushes herself off the countertop, shaking her head in disbelief as she walks past you.

"I hope your food burns!", she yells from the hallway when Alexia sits down on the couch and you go to turn the stove off. The door crashes closed with a loud bang.

"That wasn't nice", you point out to your ex-girlfriend. Alexia is strict when it comes to football, but outside of the sport, outside of the captain-responsibility, she is the sweetest teammate, friend, girlfriend. Her behavior towards Keira makes you sense the gravity of whichever conversation she is going to have with you, and it makes anxiety tingle in your stomach.

"Sit with me", she orders, though it sounds more like a question when she looks at you and you can see the slightest bit of doubt in her eyes. Along with that softness. That glint.

You are next to her within seconds.

"Y/N, I need to know. If we are friends or not- I can't do this hot and cold", she starts, and the vulnerability in her voice makes you shudder. You didn't know that this affected her at all, she never voiced any complaints, but the way she looks at you makes you realize that this whole situation had nagged her more than she admitted.

"Why did you agree to this- whatever, if you don't want it?", you ask, not knowing how else to describe the situation, curious to know what she is asking of you. Does she not want you to come over anymore? Does she want you to be over every night?

"Because I can't..."

You allow her the time to search for whatever word she is looking for, knowing that she always struggled with English.

"Quit you. I can't quit you, and seeing you, holding you, if you are in my bed I can convince myself that this isn't real, that we didn't break up", she mumbles, her voice barely above a whisper but loud enough for you to hear. She spins your head.

She agreed to the breakup. She agreed that it would be best for the both of you when you first opened the conversation of how dependent you felt on her. In truth, the realization of how much you love Alexia had only hit you when every footballer had suddenly gotten engaged, and you realized that all you wanted was to marry Alexia. The thought was scary, and it sent you into a rabbit hole for a bit, wondering silently whatever you were going to do with yourself when Alexia decided that this relationship just didn't work anymore. Now, as you look at her, you realize that it's foolish. Calling dibs on the breakup was your worst idea yet. But Alexia agreed.

"But you- you agreed, when I broke up with you. You wanted the breakup", you look at her with a questioning gaze, lingering on the freckles on her cheeks.

"Because I don't want to hold you back, amor. If breaking up with me is what you need then I'll try to survive, somehow. But that doesn't mean I want it."

At that, you throw yourself into Alexia's arms. How have you been so stupid? How have you hurt the one and only person you have ever, truly loved, just because you were scared?

You sense Alexia's hesitancy, but after a few seconds, she wraps her arms around you, pulling you even deeper into her chest. You can feel her heartbeat, and smell her perfume, and it makes you question how you have survived the past months without being hers. Her arms feel so familiar, so comforting, that you crave nothing more than to be here - in her embrace - forever.

"I only broke up with you because I was scared. I was so scared of you ever leaving me, and-"

Alexia interrupts you.

"I could never. I could never quit you, amor. You are stuck with me forever", she mumbles into your hair as she gently rocks the two of you from side to side, her arms never loosening around you. You chuckle at her choice of words, though you do admit it is somewhat fitting.

"You'll never quit me?", you ask, a slight smile on your lips as you pull back slightly. At that, she only tightens her arms around you.

"Never. I will never quit you."

notes: this is literally horrible

[eimids]

Your worst enemy

Arsenal x reader

Reder is suffering with depression and doesn’t want her teammates to know.

Warnings: depression, mention of suicide (nothing happens tho), HEAVY on the angst, hurt/comfort?

words: around 3k

Your thoughts had been spiraling for a while, first you didn’t even realize it. Starting with only tiredness and some not so good days. You just brushed then off.

Your depression wasn’t back, it couldn’t be it.

Last time it got so bad that you were almost hospitalized. So this time it couldn’t get to that point. You changed your whole life after your last depressive episode. You changed from Manchester United to Arsenal. You cut contact with toxic people in your life, especially your ex.

But without you even realizing, it became more severe. Not having any energy, going to sleep at 9pm and sleeping for almost 12 hours every day. You were also getting irritated really easily. If something didn’t go your way, you were ready to fight (and cry). Practice was the only moment you had to be energetic. You couldn’t let things affect football. You didn’t want to be with your teammates, the bonding nights only seemed like a lot of work to keep a happy surface.

During best days, everything felt almost normal. But just almost. Something felt always off. Sounds were too loud, lights were too brightbut you were happy. You were supposed to be happy. Why couldn’t you just be happy. Everything was good, what did you have in your life for you to be depressed? Absolutely nothing.

You tried your best to not let anyone notice but you failed miserably. Alessia was the first one to notice and tried subtly to talk to you about it. You were closest to her at Arsenal. You transferred with her from Manu so you knew each other from there. Although you were only 19 you and Less where getting along really well. After practice she offered to grab coffee with you, then have a nice girlsnight with her.

“Oh it’ll be fun. We can just go to my apartment to watch some movies and order your favorite food” The older woman tried to convince you.

You were hesitant at her suggestion. After the long day you were already overwhelmed and tired. You just wanted to sleep away the never ending tiredness. You hadn’t had even that long day. Only practice and recovery. Then some quick media stuff. But even that made you exhausted. Wanting to just rot away in your bed you made some excuse for Less.

“I’m sorry i’m just really tired today and I’m gonna have to call to my parents about them coming to visit” You said as casually as you could.

Lessi almost believed it, but she knew something deeper was going on. She’d seen you get more and more tired during the last months and she didn’t really know what to do about it.

“You know you can always talk to me if you have something on your mind?” Less blurted out.

You were pondering your options. You could say that things were ok and not to worry about you. But you could also confess the hard truth. Your depression was back. But Less would have to tell that to Leah and Kim, who were obligated to tell Jonas and the team management.

“I know Less, but I’m doing okay” You said and smiled. Then you just grabbed your kitbag and left the training grounds.

It was already 8pm and it was getting dark. You still didn’t have your drivers license so you couldn’t drive by yourself. You could ask a lift from one of your teammates but most of them had left or were still doing media. Uber felt useless waste of money so you decided to walk home. It was only four kilometers so it wasn’t anything too bad. You started your walk on the quiet roads of England. There was some pubs and bars you walked past to. Hearing the usual catcalls from some gross old men. You tried to ignore them you put your music louder in your headphones and continued walking.

Your phone was on ‘do not disturb’ mode as you continued your walk. You didn’t really notice anything around you. Not even truly caring about anything. You just wanted the numbness and tiredness to go away. Somehow you managed to get to your apartment. You took your shoes off and walked straight to your bed. Not caring that you were still wearing your day clothes. Your apartment was a mess so you didn’t even bother to look for any other clothes.

The next day you woke up and it was already 10am. Another 12 hours had passed with your sleeping. You knew you were going to be late but still didn’t bother to get up. You decided to check your phone only to find 3 missed calls from Less and texts.

Lessi🤍

8.47pm

Viv said you didn’t ride with her back home? Don’t say you walked! I could’ve driven you home..

9.12pm

Please answer to me that you are okay y/n. I just want to know you got home safely.

10.39pm

I really hope you are already asleep at your house. I’m worried please call me when you can.

You were alarmed when you heard something from your kitchen. You quickly got up and went to look for the sound. Your kitchen was cleaned, the living room was cleaned, what was happened.

Alessia. She stood there in your kitchen making you breakfast. You were confused about everything even though you had given Less your spare keys.

“Morning y/n, we need to have a talk” Less just said. Clearly not happy.

“Well yeah, you can’t just show up to my apartment” You answered.

“Yea I can when I’m worried sick about you. I asked almost everyone on the team if they had taken you home but no. Did you walk home? You can’t be that reckless, something could’ve happened. So when you didn’t answer I decided to come over to see what’s going on. I’m glad I found you safely home, sleeping” Less started her lecture.

“I didn’t walk” You lied. “I ordered an uber and got home safely” You continued with the lies. You could see the anger and worry on Alessia’s face turn to guilt. “I was tired and didn’t want to bother anyone so I just ordered the uber. You don’t have to worry about me Less, I’m okay” You said with a smile. You were trying to be convincing although all that came from your mouth was lies.

“Oh i’m so sorry y/n. I don’t know what got to me but you’ve been acting weird lately and I just got so worried when you didn’t answer. Maybe I should get going, I’m sorry again” Alessia said and started to grab her things.

You stopped her by hugging her. You weren’t mad at her, although you didn’t want her to be worried about you, I felt nice to know that she cared about you. “You can stay Less, have breakfast with me” You said to her softly.

So she did. You ate your breakfast in a comfortable silence and then talked about your next match that you were going to have in couple days. You were supposed to leave to Manchester later that day. After you ate, Less grabbed her stuff again and left. You were happy with yourself that you convinced her that everything was okay.

You and Alessia both missed the team meeting of that morning but were on time to get to your bus to leave to Manchester. You got a little lecture from Jonas but didn’t really care. Wasn’t the first time.

On the bus most of your teammates were on the back of the bus listening to music and chatting. You however were sitting in the front. Headphones in listening to Taylor Swift and trying to sleep. It wasn’t hard with how exhausted you were. Sleep came nowadays always easily.

At some point you were woken by Kim sitting next to you. You tried to just act like you were sleeping but the skipper knew better.

“I know you’re awake y/n. Why don’t you come to the back of the bus with the others and have some fun, you have missed a lot of team bonding nights lately and the girls miss your company” Kim stated to you. You could hear Katie singing in the back of the bus and laughed a little.

“Okay I can come for a while. But I really need my beauty sleep” You tried to joke. Kim laughed a little before walking back to her seat. You followed her and were welcomed with teasing from your teammates.

“Well good to see you y/l/n, feels like I haven’t seen you in ages” Katie teased as she saw you walking to the back of the bus. “Come sit next to me” She continued.

You really didn’t want to hear the teasing from Katie but decided to still take the seat next to her. In front of you were Beth and Viv. In the next booth of four were Less, Leah and Kyra. Music was blasting and you saw as Katie was filming a tiktok about the her day. She filmed you in it with the something along ‘She’s alive’. You smiled for the camera but actually you wanted to cry. You were tired af the teasing. You were tired of everyone fussing about you. Why couldn’t you just enjoy some peace and quiet.

You zoned out for a while and next thing you realize was that Leah was gently waking you up.

“Wake up sleepy” Leah said quietly and smiled to you.

“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep” You said while looking around. Everyone else had left the bus, you were at your hotel.

Leah just hummed and helped you get your stuff and then walked with you to the entrance. Your teammates were sorting out rooms. You were hoping to get a room for yourself all alone. When you’re name was called at last you found out that you were paring with Leah. Kim and Leah changed looks that you didn’t notice.

Some of your teammates, mainly Viv, Beth and Less had went and talked to your skippers about your weird behavior. They had all noticed the signs of depression. Especially Less who had known you when you had your latest episode. They had made a small plan to get you to talk. Leah would be rooming with you, Kim would encourage you to be more with the other girls. Viv and Beth where just like parents who took notice about your behavior and made sure that you took care of yourself. They didn’t want to talk to you yet about it. They want you to come talk to them, or to anyone at that matter.

The rest of the day was a blur. You had a practice on the pitch, some recovery in cold pool, dinner. At practice you were almost benched because you were playing recklessly. Taking stupid risks and tackling people. A lot of your tackles were not even towards others, more so you could get yourself hurt. They were stupid and you knew it but just didn’t care.

After dinner your head was a mess. You felt overwhelmed and you couldn’t really take a notice of your surroundings. Kyra was walking next to you to the elevator. For the next couple of hours you were supposed to spend time with your teammates. You knew you had to show your face there for people not to get suspicious but you were in a bad mental state and just wanted to be alone. You walked hand in hand to the meeting room where pretty much everyone was in already. You smiled and talked for a while before trying to make an excuse to leave.

“Don’t leave yet, you just came here” Viv said to you. Trying to find someone else in the room who was in on the plan. She saw Leah and waved her over.

“I’m just not really in a mood to be here, I was thinking about having a shower and just going to sleep” You answered. Not having the energy to make up excuses.

“Y/n it’s not even 6pm, can’t you just stay here with us for a little while longer?” Leah asked hopefully.

Everything was just too much for you. The music in the background, Leah and Viv asking too many questions. Your breathing started to pick up pace. You knew that if you didn’t get away now, you would most likely end up having a panic attack. So you left. Without a word to Leah or Viv. You just turned around and walked away. You ran to your room and quickly closed the door. You fell to the ground and couldn’t help the tears in you eyes starting to spill.

You hated it, hated it all. You hated your mind for not being normal. You hated yourself for not accepting help from the other who clearly were just worried about you. You hated your teammates for trying to help. You hated the feeling in your head that just didn’t go away. You just hated it all.

Leah and your other teammates decided to give you some time for a while. Letting you calm down. But they all knew that they needed to do something. Leah and Kim decided to talk to the team management the first thing the following day. They knew you needed help and couldn’t watch on the side as you were slowly ruining yourself. After sometime Leah decided to come back to your shared room. She expected to find you sleeping but was concerned when you weren’t in the room. She checked the bathroom but no. You weren’t there. She got worried quickly. Her mind went first to the worst scenarios. Did something happen to you, did yo do something to yourself, was it too late for her to come look for you, she was blaming herself instantly.

“She isn’t hear” Leah said in a panicked voice as soon as Kim answered her call.

“What do you mean Leah?” Kim asked worriedly.

“She isn’t in our room, what if something has happened” Leah worried.

“Okay let’s not panic yet. Come back to the team room and we’ll make a plan” Kim said to Leah. Being the captain she knew she had to stay calm. They talked as Leah walked back to the team room. Kim had asked most of the girls to go back to their rooms and have a chill night. Not wanting to consern them.

Viv, Beth, Katie, Alessia, Leah and Kim were the ones to stay. They knew you the best and right now all they wanted was to find you.

“Has anyone called her?” Beth asked.

“Well yeah but she didn’t answer, it went straight to voicemail” Leah answered.

“She’s an adult and can leave if she wants, right now there isn’t much we can do unfortunately. Leah I suggest you go back to your room and see if y/n comes back. Inform us immediately if she comes, Viv and Beth can you go to the restaurant and bar to check if y/n’s there?” Kim started to make a plan.

Kim, Less and Katie stayed in the teamroom. Alessia was crying. She knew how bad it could get for you. Last time, about two years ago, she and Ella Toone had found you on the roof of the hotel, ready to jump. After that you started to get better. You were put on antidepressants and went to therapy for a year. She was happy that you were getting better. She didn’t want to believe the signs of depression when she first noticed them again. She didn’t want you to go through that again.

The team didn’t have to look for a long time before you showed up back in your room where Leah was pacing around. She stopped immediately when she heard the door open. Next she saw you with tears in your eyes standing there. Looking so fragile.

“I think I need help Leah, please help me” You said with the tiniest voice, lips quivering but Leah heard you. She came running to you before you collapsed on her embrace. You cried as she carried you to the bed and then continued to let you cry against her.

She quickly found her phone in her pocket and sent a quick text to Kim that you were back. Then she ignored the respond she got and just continued to hug you.

“I’m here for you and I’m going to get you the help you need” Leah whispered in your ear.

—

This was supposed to be longer but I don’t really know how to continue this so I might do a part 2 where reader sorts with the aftermath about everything. Would you be interested in part 2?

[lilasamaaa]

Miss missing you | Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genres | Angst, Hurt.

Word count | 2.1K

Warnings | Breakup, depressing thoughts, mentions of cheating.

Summary | Reader wakes up the day after her breakup with Charles and reflects on their relationship. Inspired by the song "Miss Missing You" by Fall Out Boy. Author's note | Sorry for being criminally addicted to writing sad things.

Don't panic, no, not yet

The living room shutter is closed. Impenetrable.

She has no idea how long she's been like this, slumped on her couch in the dark, her face irritated by the relentless assault of her tears. Outside, she knows life has gone on without her. She suspects the sun has risen, like every morning. That darkness has given way to light, like every morning. She even heard her neighbors in the hallway, heading to work. Like every morning.

Taking a deep breath, she feels her heart and throat tighten, tears doubling. She didn't even know she had that much water in her body. It's not just an ordinary morning. It's the first of many mornings where she will wake up with her heart in pieces.

I know I'm the one you want to forget

She remembers, a few years ago, listening to Taylor Swift's "Mr. Perfectly Fine" for days on a row. She remembers cursing Joe Jonas, she even remembers feeling so sorry for Taylor. What kind of guy breaks up with his girlfriend over the phone?

Well, Charles, apparently.

She's not stupid, not blind, not even a little naive.

She had felt it coming. Had noticed him slowly drifting away. The calls were less frequent, and the ones she managed to intercept, shorter. She knows there was someone else. Maybe multiple someones. They'd somehow stopped talking about him, about her, about them. They only talked about races, cars, airplane trips. That's the only thing that seemed to keep them together. The only thing that had brought them together in the first place. She, the daughter of the CEO of one of Ferrari's sponsors. Him, the one who wore the suit with the logo printed on it.

Cue all the love to leave my heart, It's time for me to fall apart

She wished her heart would close. She wished she could block his access to it. She wished she could reclaim it, as one might retrieve the keys to an apartment once shared. But that bastard remains wide open. It's almost embarrassing, the way her heart, cruelly empty, hopes to be filled again. To feel his warmth once more. To beat for him again.

Her mind has stopped functioning, but her heart, somehow, hasn't stopped. It keeps beating, selfishly. It keeps her alive. For what? To feel the hurt, the betrayal, the despair? Honestly, it's not worth the effort. The poor thing should have just stopped.

Now you're gone, but I'll be okay, Your hot whiskey eyes have fanned the flame

She's young. She's had flings, but she's always been the one to end them. Charles was her first serious relationship. The only significant one, actually. She didn't think the pain would be so raw, so physical. She feels like she can sense her heart crumbling a little more each time she thinks of him. She feels it in her chest, swelling, taking up space, trying to escape. It wants to leave her body. To break free from this darkened, wounded brain that suffocates it.

She's not against the idea. It can leave. She can function without it. She's almost convinced of it, if that's what it takes to feel alive again. To feel like her again.

Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight, Let the fire breathe me back to life

Her heart isn't the first to be broken. Won't be the last.

She's heard stories from friends, from close ones, who've gone through breakups. Today, she feels so foolish for feeling so little concern about those stories back then. She's always been a listening ear, an unwavering support. She's sat in bars, cafés, bedrooms, listening to stories of betrayal and broken promises, and she simply didn't believe it would ever happen to her. As if she were above the laws. Above all that. She remembers listening to tales of broken hearts like children listen to myths of dragons, of wizards, of magic.

That's what it was for her. Fantasy. Something so unreal, so inconceivable.

Even though it hurts, she has sworn to let herself feel everything. The good as well as the bad. She knows that one day, she will look back on this period of her life, and she won't be overwhelmed by sorrow and pain anymore. But today, she has to go through it, let the flames lick her body to better heal her wounds later.

Baby you were my picket fence, I miss missing you, now and then

She'd never introduced a boyfriend to her family. Never envisioned a future with anyone. Never looked at houses with anyone. But with him, she did. A few months ago, while strolling on the hills of Monaco, she'd passed by a gate behind which a stone path led to a discreet little house. She'd fallen in love with the garden bordered by trees and flowers. She'd liked the color of the gate surrounding the property. She'd even found charm in the slightly crooked chimney protruding from the roof. She'd taken a photo of the "For Sale" sign and sent it to Charles. He had responded with a series of emojis (a face with hearts for eyes, sparkles, a star, the rest she can't remember). He had promised to call to set up a visit.

She would never walk down the stone path.

Chlorine kissed, summer skin, I miss missing you, now and then

She's never been drawn to wealth. She was born into it. Penthouses, luxury cars, diamonds hold no charm in her eyes. She's always been searching for more authentic, more simple things.

One summer when Charles had suggested a yacht outing, the lovers had ended up on a poorly patched-up rowboat that was taking on water. The monacan had complained all afternoon, but she still remembers the sensation of lying against him, against his warm, salty skin, alone in the world in their small boat. A feeling that no amount of money could ever buy. A feeling that no amount of money could ever get her back.

Sometimes before it gets better, The darkness gets bigger

What had begun as sweet and innocent had taken a turn.

Times were tough. His job was demanding. Exhausting. She did her best to support him, to show him he could lean on her anytime he needed. He wouldn't talk. Little by little, she was abandoning more and more things from her daily life to dedicate herself to his. His stability. His success. His worries. Sometimes, she felt like she was losing herself, but she knew it was temporary. She thought she would soon get the old Charles back. Even when he started going out late. Even when he started coming home late. Even when he started not coming home at all.

The endless suffering hadn't brought her anything. In fact, it had taken everything from her.

The person that you'd take a bullet for, Is behind the trigger

She knew the signs, had seen them in her own parents. When they ate together, he could go through the entire meal without meeting her gaze. When she placed her hands on his body, he would sometimes shiver. Not the shiver of anticipation from the early days. The kind that suggested he didn't deserve the display of affection.

Her own friends seemed oblivious to the situation. "I ran into Charles yesterday, at the club," "I saw Charles in town with a friend", "Aren't you with Charles today?". Were they trying to pretend everything was fine to protect her? Or were they already distancing themselves from a situation they didn't want to witness?

Oh, we're fading fast, I miss missing you, now and then

She pinpointed the breaking point as her sister's wedding. How ironic, she'd thought. Celebrating love, respect, and unity when I feel none of these things in my own relationship. Charles had arrived late, his hair disheveled, tie slightly askew. She had felt tears burning behind her eyes, had bitten her cheek to hold back from exploding in the middle of the church. She refused to believe that he had done that to her. That he had disrespected her on this day, in this place. Her entire family had cast a glance in her direction, had observed the way Charles had slipped between the guests to sit next to her. Without a glance. Without a touch. Her sister, speech in hand, had taken a few seconds to start. "With you by my side, I know I can face anything," she had started saying to her husband, letting her eyes meet the teary ones of her little sister.

Making eyes at this husk, around my heart, I see through you and we're sitting in the dark

He told her everything, recounted everything to her. From what he felt in the car during a race to his latest argument with his brother. She read him like an open book, could anticipate every word, every gesture, every thought, even. To joke around, she often said she knew him better than she knew herself. Upon reflection, they got together when they were eighteen. Had she even had time to get to know herself, or had she cowardly built herself around him?

The idea of pursuing her life's journey without him terrified her. She didn't know who she was, who she wanted to be. She didn't even know if she liked herself. She sometimes wondered if he knew her as well as she knew him. If he knew her favorite color, her favorite song, her favorite season. She always ended up pushing those somber thoughts away, reminding herself that these concerns were those of a schoolgirl, and got back to her duties. To taking care of him.

So give me your filth, make it rough, Let me, let me, trash your love

She was gentle, with a calm nature, almost maternal.

She never lost her composure, never raised her voice. But she had yelled that day. When they arrived home after the church ceremony. She would never forget, and he probably wouldn't either, how her voice had broken when she had shouted three words, three little words that had been enough to shatter everything. "Who is she?".

She, who admired him so much, who thought of him as a man of the purest and most sincere nature. She had given him a chance to repent. He hadn't seized it, hanging his head low. That day, facing her anger, the pain of a betrayed woman, she'd found him so small that he was almost ridiculous. He hadn't responded, of course. Hadn't said a word.

I will sing to you everyday, If it will take away the pain

She'd stayed. She wasn't sure if love made her do it. Perhaps it was out of habit. Or masochism. But she had stayed, and life had resumed just as it was before, for a few weeks. They had started waking up side by side again, sharing their day over a meal again.

Making love, again. She hadn't even realized they had stopped touching each other, desiring each other. How long had it lasted? A week? A month? Six?

He played the piano in the evening, proclaiming a love strong and indestructible over the keys, letting his fingers glide from white to black, filling the apartment with sounds and colors that had disappeared. Of feelings that had disappeared.

Oh, and I heard you've got it, got it so bad, 'Cause I am the best you'll ever have

She had let herself dream of the life before.

A life where Charles had only touched her, only tasted her. A life where she didn't discreetly grab his phone every night when his breathing indicated he was asleep. A life where she didn't send messages to Carlos at all hours of the day and night to find out where he was, with whom he was when she wasn't there. A life where her sister didn't regularly tell her how worried she was about her, finding her too thin, too stressed, too distracted.

So, she had left. She had left the spare keys he had given her on the dining table. She had fled his apartment and returned to hers, the one she had just planned on returning the keys to the owner, ready to move in permanently with him. She had spent three days alone, spending entire days in the dark. Ignoring the messages and calls of her mother, her father, her sister. Carlos, too.

Baby you were my picket fence,

By the end of the third day, he had finally called, and after three rings, she had picked up.

Neither of them had spoken for several seconds.

Then, he had done it. For the first time in months, he had been honest with her.

"It's not working anymore," he had sighed into the phone. "I can't do it anymore."

She had hung up.

Lain down on the sofa.

Waited for the day to save her from the night.

I miss missing you, now and then,

Now and then.

[multifandomfix]

Hearth & Home — Narcissa Malfoy

Summary: You find yourself alone this Christmas, but so does Narcissa and she’s not about to let that stand.

Word Count: 486

Warnings: Some angst, but a happy ending

Darkness had fallen as you sat on a bench in Diagon Alley, lost in thought as a quiet melancholy settled within you as you contemplated spending the holiday season alone. The lamplight was your only friend, it seemed, saving you from being swallowed up in total darkness. The festive decorations all around seemed to mock your solitude. Just as despair began to take root, a shop door creaked open, revealing Narcissa Malfoy.

"Narcissa, what brings you here?" you asked, surprised to see anyone still out at this hour. Though, honestly, you weren’t even a hundred percent sure how much time you’d passed out here yourself.

She offered a soft smile that didn’t quite reach her sad eyes. “Passing the time, I suppose. With Draco grown and Lucius…” Narcissa trailed off, recalling the bitter divorce earlier that year. You’d read about it in the Daily Prophet, but didn’t mention it.

“No one should be alone for the holidays,” you said instead, the sentiment a true enough one in your heart. “I find myself in a similar situation. Perhaps we could spend Christmas together?"

Grateful for the unexpected company, Narcissa accepted your kind offer, then making one of her own. “You’re welcome to come to my home and stay, at least through the holidays.” It was your turn to smile now and you let Narcissa lead you to her home, far more modest than Malfoy Manor, no doubt, but tastefully decorated and it seemed to suit her.

As you both settled in by the crackling fire, Narcissa spoke gently, sharing stories from happier Christmases past and you did the same, helping the both of you to ease that loneliness that had threatened to consume you. The warmth of her presence was a Christmas blessing if there ever was one.

As the evening unfolded, Narcissa gave you a full tour of her home, garland and ornaments giving the place a festive feel. You were finally starting to feel like you should at the holidays; grateful, cheerful and dare you say loved?

The tour concluded back at the hearth. Above the mantel hung a sprig of mistletoe that hadn’t escaped your notice. Narcissa followed your eyes, landing on the plant she’d forgotten that she put up. She was hardly expecting the tradition to arise this year. But, as she took a moment to think about it, her gaze fell back to you. A tender smile played on her lips, and in that moment, she decided that, though it may have been unplanned, the tradition could certainly continue.

Without a word, Narcissa closed the distance between you, capturing your lips in a gentle, lingering kiss. You met her kiss eagerly, returning it, as you pulled her closer. The crackling of the fire and the soft glow of the fairy lights that surrounded you seemed to dance in celebration of your newfound connection, turning a lonely holiday into a memory to cherish.

Forever Tag: @baubeautyandthegeek, @ghostsunderstoodmysoul, @immyowndefender, @valencethefriendlychangeling, @crimsonwidow666, @rebelbossheart, @thedailyspiritualist, @orangeisnttheonlyfruit, @woman-simp, @aperol-with-izzy, @leonoralessoem, @ellepossum69, @lakita-fisher, @nclgsticore, @ayanthegreat28, @analuw, @luvlesavyy, @malfoyfeed, @aliciabrower, @bitchr-mkay, @sparrowspixie

Narcissa Malfoy: @iticaboopsyou, @brienneseveruscalaway, @riveranddoctorsong123, @whither-the-wind-goes, @bluenystic, @reminiscent-of-sentiment, @unexpected-character, @ppgrayson, @becomingthedreamversionofme, @bloodinthedarksworld, @gothtrash6969, @jona-lea, @music-bird, @fairyfaefiction, @chaotic-mushroomz, @iciclesandsnow, @thenazwife, @animeloverfreak310, @m-rae23, @asocialrandom, @404-its-alr, @beyondgaby, @scarlettmal, @ayyy-lety, @wynt3rrr, @geekyandgay98, @pink-sunrise-56, @sweetyprincesschaos, @mindfullofnothingbutyou, @witchthewriter, @anarrowtotheknee, @thekirbishow, @lannister-apologist

[jocelynscrazyideas]

Love Me the way You love Her | Jack Hughes x Reader

warning: language, door slamming, breakup, emotional distress. Cheating?

Summary: Jack and y/n go through an argument. Jack has a past with getting with y/ns bsf. Eva- always there for y/n basckstabs.

A:N- I’m scared that this wont make sense.. anyway here!! First Jack blurb! And it’s an emotional angst!!

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

I’m driving back to my apartment. It’s about 11:27 and it’s pitch black. Stars are shining in the night sky. The moon is out, glistening, telling me to finish my work.

Jack is out clubbing, well as I thought. I think he’s out partying with some other skank, and the other devils won’t tell me about it. I’m done. I know it’s just a stereotype thing about hockey guys paying with women, but I’m serious.

I packed a few bags from jacks house that he shared with Luke. I took all of my clothes, my phone charger, my computer, camera, iPad, and all of the charging cords for them and followed by a few blankets and hair straighteners and other hot tools. I packed all of my 103 pairs of shoes. I made sure nothing I cared about was left at the stupid bulging I called home.

I took my pictures I had of me and Jack off the walls and threw them in the ground. I left the place with glass in the wood planks on the ground and the pictures of me and the Hughes family sitting there, waiting to be noticed.

Luke is out with Jack, and I know Jack is out with some girl named Eva. I’m so tired of being parinoid, so I checked his location.

Jack told me he was out at the pizza place with the boys. Boys as in John, Dawson, Luke, Jesper, Nate, and Jonas. I know for sure that John, Luke and Nate are true.

I texted Jonas asking if Jack was with him, he responded with a plain answer, “no. Sorry.” I know Jonas knows what Jack is up to, so I texted him again,

~

Where is he then.

I’m not sure, you’d have to ask him.

That’s a lie, I know you guys talk at practice, just tell me. I want to ask him to get me some food when he comes home, but he won’t answer my texts and calls.

Okay, I’ll let him know.

~

And that’s it. So I texted John. I know John can’t lie to me, so I asked him thorough questions.

~

Where are you?

At the club, Jack and I are heading out to the bar soon.

Is Luke with you guys?

Yes, and so is Bratter, and Bash.

Okay, thx.

Np, but you want me to deliver a message to Jack?

No.

~

Great, so not only did Jack lie to me, but so did Luke. I pull into my aprtament complex’s parking garage. I park in my signature parking spot and I lock my doors as I hop out.

I don’t have the energy to carry all four bags back into my room so o carry only two. I bring in my important stuff, my clothes and my electronics.

I set my things down so I can unlock my door on the 7th floor. I know it’s going to be empty, cold, dark, and un crowded. Unfortunately, I moved all of my stuff into Jacks place, stupid idea.

Before Eva cut into my relationship with Jack, Jack and I lasted about 4 years. I’m pretty sure I’ll cry in the morning. So I unpack everything now.

12:34

~

Text from Buba💗:

where are u?!

Answer my text rn.

I’m driving over.

Are you at your apartment?

Just text me baby!

Are you dead?

Cmon please?

What did I do!

You smashed our pictures, it’s ok. I’ll clean it up later.

~

I left him on read, I’m sure as hell not dealing with him. I finish unpacking, and I jump in the shower. Nice warm water, un opened shampoo and conditioner, unused body wash, a brand new loofa. A new tooth brush and toothpaste. Flossing my teeth, a new hairbrush. My makeup, that I forgot to mention… yeah I brought it too but it’s in my car, I thought that I would be too busy crying to do my makeup.

After my night routine, I realized I haven’t eaten, so I cooked up a grilled cheese, it was delicious. I revrushed my teeth and re flossed and I head to bed.

-4:15-

I wake up to pounding on my door.

“Y/N OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” Jack screams out.

He’ll wake up the neighbors.

I get up from bed, i do t use the lights, i have to make him think im still sleeping, but I crawl on my knees to the door. I look at the crack between the door and the floor, I can see two feet and I know it’s Jack.

“please, baby, I know you’re there. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did, but I love you.”

“That’s bullshit.” I respond, no time to think. I get up from the ground and I ublock the door. Then, within a second I lock it agin. I don’t want to face him right now. I’m in my safe place, my home.

“No it’s not.” Jack says I can hear his guilt in his voice. He knows what he did.

“Eva.” I say as my voice trails off, I can’t help it. I hit my back against the door and I slide down to my butt. My knees up against my chest as I warp my legs in my arms. I sit there against my door, and my used to be love of my life on the other side. I feel my eyes burning, my throat starts to close. I look up at the ceiling light and back down to my red toenails. I start to cry, actually not crying, but bawling.

I cant breathe, it hurts to know my lungs taht I used to catch my breath after going on runs with Jack are being ised.

I can’t stop crying, because I know I didn’t have to cry when I was with Jack.

“I think we should break up.” I maanage to get out from my croaky voice.

I feel Jack put his fist down from the door and he slides down to the same position I’m sitting in. His head agisnt mine, but on the other side.

I hide my head in my knees as I cry, and cry.

“I love you. I really do.” Jack says as he cry’s as well. I can hear him sniffle.

“no, this is the last time i want to hear your voice.” I say, and I get up and slam my bathroom door, letting him know I’m not at the front door of my apartment.

“Please, y/n, stay.”

“This is the last time I’m asking you this, this is the last time. Jack you broke my heart before and I’m not letting it happen again.” I cried out. My tears all over my green tank top, and my pink silky pajama shorts.

“Please.” Jack bellows out, I need him to know if he loves me he’ll let me leave.

Last time he hurt me, I found out he was at a bar dancing with a girl name Sarah, but Sarah was my best friend.

“I’m hurt, Jack just go.”

“It’ll be fixed right? I mean we’ve been through this before! We can fix this!” Jack plead through the door, I can hear the pain in his voice, the hurt in his chest. But i need to rember that he hurt me, and it’s happen before, this was his second as his only chance to fix it.

“no. Jack you got Eva. Go hang out with her.” I cry out. U throw his favorite picture of us together under the door.

It’s a picture of us at the Hoboken Fair. I’m in his arms, his head resting on mine. We both are cheesing, his smile goes end to end, mine is so big you can see my dimples disappear. My eyes in so much love, his eyes set on the camera, I can tell he loves me. I’m dressed in a blue hoodie, that was reeking of jacks cologne, and my shorts were halara skorts.

loved.

It was never love, it was a story that he made up.

He passed under my favorite picture of us.

I was wearing low rise jeans, the ones that go under your belly button, and sit on your hips. I was wearing a small belt, and it had hearts on the pockets that covered my ass. My shirt was a cropped black leather tube top, and I had a really cute shoulder bag on, and Jack was an accessory that clung to my left side. I had my black heels boots on with red bottoms.

Jack was wearing a white striped button down Hawaiian style shirt that was in buttoned and he showed of his abs. Hes wearing my favorite shorts on him, his Nike woven flow shorts in black. He has his favorite white air forces on.

His hair was at his natural curly state, and mine was on a blowout, with curls in a tight half up half down, on top I had braids and I had blue sunglasses that matched Jacks hat.

“You miss our music festies?” Jack asks in a heartbroken tone.

“I’m serious Jack. We need to break up.”

“No. We can fix it.”

“No we can’t.”

“I’ll change, baby I can’t lose you.” Jack harmonized with the deep sound of my fridge.

Jack gets up, his shadow his taller. The door gets heavier, I stand up from my countertop that sits right next to my door.

“I knew you didn’t leave. You do that all the time”

“Jack, I’m not your girl anymore.”

“fine.”

I check the under the door. His shadow is gone, his shoes aren’t at my door. I open the dorr, check if it’s okay for me to sneak out.

Perfect.

I grab my electronics, my clothes, hairbrush, toothbrush, and my shower products. I head to my car. I sit in my drivers seat thinking if a safe place.

Last time this happened, John housed me. This time it’s different.

Jack and I broke up this time. I give my apartment an email:

~

To whom this may concern,

I’m sad to inform you that I am no longer in need of your rentable service. Room 179 on the 7th wing will be open for a new service. I’ll gather my things, what’s left may be used for the next, or be stored, if not needed you may contact me at (your number).

Sincerly,

Y/n Y/l/n

~

I already packed everything, I just need to grab my- actually I have everything. So I drive off and I remembered I left the keys at the front desk before I left. So I truly checked out.

-12:15 PM-

It’s been two days since I left my apartment, I have found myself at my bestfriends house, Liz

Jack called me.

~

“Where have you been?”

“Home.”

“No, your home, is at my house that Luke and I share. It’s your home, you have a bed, a shower, a kitchen, and you have someone who loved you.”

“No, Jack we broke up. It’s not your problem anymore.”

~

Why did I even answer. I’m over him, I need to heal, it’s for me to be happy. I hear a knock on Liz’s door so I open up.

“Y/N! Please!” Jack says as I open Liz’s front door.

“Go away.”

“Please”

“How did you find me?”

“I know you.”

“No, no you don’t.”

I shut the door and I go on my phone to block his number. I delete I’m his contact, and I unfollow him on Instagram, TikTok, and I un add him on Snapchat. I left him loose. He’s gone.

the last time ill ever feel him pain me.

“I just wish you loved me the way you love her!!” I scream at the door knowing Jack is still standing there. Again, I cry.

“I broke it off with Eva!” Jack says, trying to make me consider being with him again.

I rember the photo that Jack loves, the one of us at the fair. Eva took that photo. He wasn’t staring at me, he was staring at the camera- or so I thought. He was actually looking at Eva.

My favorite picture, us at the music festival, who took the oicture? Eva did, the pretty ashy blonde Eva.

“no, it’s always been Eva. I just seriously wish you loved me the way you loved her.”

[ikolaiigh]

Poor Unfortunate Souls

𝑻𝑾/𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺..Prince!Chuuya, The little mermaid AU, drowning, thunderstorms, injuries, romantic tension, strangers to lovers, Mermaid!Reader, Fantasy Violence, Pet names, both Chuuya and reader are disgustingly in love,Reader and chuuya are down bad for each other, Love at First Sight, Idiots in Love, Reader is called 'Princess' and later on 'Queen', Weddings, Songfic.

𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: Prince!Chuuya Nakahara x Mermaid!Reader

𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑹𝑬: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort.

𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀: The ocean was wide, yet everything was very much the same for you, that is until you save a human prince from a shipwreck. Despite only having met once for a short period, the two Royals become infatuated with each other, The human wanting to know who saved them and you resolve to do whatever it takes to become part of his world.

𝘈/𝘕: here we are yet again! I never expected the support that received from the last one so thank you! I appreciate it sm <33 I had some difficulty in starting this chapter but I finished it off! Btw Yosano's dialog was based on the song "She's in Love" from the Broadway version! Yet again I thank @yuugen-benni for helping me out, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! ♡

-For "Poor Unfortunate Souls" Listen to Jonas's brother's version or annapantsu! Since it fits better with the ambiance and everything, the fanart is by nixnyr.

Under The Sea - Poor Unfortunate Souls - Next..

"𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞." -𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐧

Watching through the eyes of the merman's, a man concealed in the shadows of a dimly lit cave couldn't contain his malevolent delight. His sinister chuckle reverberated through the cavern as he reveled in his fortunate discovery.

"Well, well, well... Isn't this just too easy?" he mused, a twisted grin spreading across his face. His eyes narrowed with a wicked glint as he observed the trembling merfolk, their shrimp-like forms quivering in fear before him.

"But it's not just any love, is it?" he continued, his voice dripping with malicious amusement. "No, no, no. This young mermaid has fallen for a human—a prince, to be precise. Oh, how adorably naive!"

As his purple eyes gleamed with malevolence, the man reveled in the thought of the chaos he could sow. His dark intentions fueled his sadistic pleasure."I can already picture it," he mused, his smirk growing more pronounced. "The king, oh, he will be furious when he discovers his precious daughter is smitten with a mere human. The scandal, the outrage—it will be exquisite."

His attention then shifted, considering a more nefarious plan. "The king's daughter would make the perfect addition to my flourishing garden," he whispered, casting a sinister gaze upon the cursed merfolk at the entrance of the cave.

In the depths of his depravity, he relished the thought of ensnaring the young princess, both to taunt her father and to satisfy his twisted desires. The man's demeanor exuded a chilling mix of cruelty and madness, promising nothing but darkness and despair for those caught in his snare.

Days after your encounter with the prince, you found yourself lying on your bed, a blissful smile gracing your face. Thoughts of the prince consumed your mind—, His beautiful smile, the way he held your hand, the twinkle of his mismatched eyes in the sunlight, and the way his laughter filled you with butterflies—it was all you could think about. Lost in your thoughts, you were pulled back to reality when your sister, Yosano, called for you.

"[Name]! Come out, you've been there all morning," Yosano called out impatiently, assuming you had once again snuck away.

Emerging from behind the curtain, you swam out with a contented smile still playing on your lips. Ignoring Yosano's shocked expression, you swam past her and settled next to Ranpo, glancing at your reflection in the mirror as you gently smoothed your hair, still humming a sweet tune.

Higuchi and Ranpo exchanged glances, then turned to Yosano, silently seeking an explanation. Taken aback, she replied to their unspoken question, her astonishment mirroring theirs. Once again, their eyes shifted to you, observing your actions as you fixed your hair, plucked a flower from a coral, and inhaled its fragrance. You playfully toyed with its petals while swimming away from the mirror, making you accidentally bump into your father.

"Morning, Dad," you greeted him cheerfully, placing the flower in his hair. With a final smile, you left the room, your lovesick aura still intact as you resumed humming.

"Oh, she's got it bad," Ranpo grimaced, watching you disappear from the room, aware of the reason behind your lovesickness.

"What? What's going on?" Fukuzawa asked, his gaze shifting from his son to the space where you had departed.

"Isn't it obvious?" Higuchi smiled, her eyes following your path. She couldn't help but feel a pang of envy, she couldn't help but wish it were her instead.

"I must say! The girl is swimming in circles, chasing around her tail! [Name] is clearly in love!" Yosano chimed in, smirking as she adjusted the butterfly pin on her head. She wondered who had captured your heart.

"[Name]? In love?" Fukuzawa's disbelief was evident. Out of all his children, you seemed the least likely to fall for someone else. He removed the flower from his hair, smiling softly.

You swam gracefully through the crystal-clear waters, the shimmering sunlight dancing on your fins as you ventured deeper. Sigma followed close behind, his fins twitching. Finding a comfortable rock near a vibrant coral reef adorned with a myriad of blooming flowers, you settled yourself down. Gently, you plucked a delicate blossom, savoring the soft caress of its petals against your fingertips, your infectious grin never wavered, displaying your joy.

Sigma swam back and forth beside you, his fins twitching with anxiety. His voice carried a hint of concern as he spoke, "Okay, so far, I don't think the King knows."

"But keeping something like this a secret won't be easy for long," Sigma remarked, spitting out a stray petal that had found its way into his mouth. He shot you an annoyed glare, clearly displeased.Meanwhile, you propped yourself up on your elbows, enjoying the view above Sigma. You playfully tucked a pink flower behind your ear, and your smile remained unwavering.

"He loves me," you whispered, gently caressing the petals of the flower in your hand. You plucked another petal, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"Hmm, he loves me not," you scoffed, rolling your eyes playfully. Annoyance tinged your tail's movements, but as you picked the last petal, realization washed over you.

"He loves me!" you giggled, cradling the petal against your chest. Kicking your tail playfully, you turned over, lying on your back with an ear-to-ear grin. "I knew it!"

"[Name], stop talking crazy!" Sigma lectured, swimming towards your side, concern etched on his face as he rested his hands on his waist.

"I gotta see him again, Tonight! Dazai knows where he lives." You got up and started to swim away but Sigma grabbed your tail fin.

"Princess, please!" Sigma pleaded, swimming along with you, attempting to stop your impulsive rambling. "Will you get your head out of the clouds and back in the water where it belongs?"

"I'll swim up to his castle, and then Atsushi will splash around to get his attention, then we'll go-" you excitedly continued, completely ignoring Sigma's advice

"Down here is your home!" Sigma groaned in frustration, positioning himself in front of you, determined to bring you back to reality.

"[Name], listen to me, The human world, it's a mess, life under the seaIs better than anything they got up there," Sigma implored, a reassuring smile on his face as he gently guided you to sit back down on the enchanting reef. As you settled comfortably on the rock, he positioned himself in front of you, making sure to maintain eye contact, his concern mixed with genuine affection.

"The seaweed is always greener, in somebody else's lake," Sigma sang, his voice resonating through the underwater depths. As he looked around, he noticed that your attention wasn't focused on him, determined to captivate you, he gracefully swam towards you, his movements fluid and mesmerizing. With gentle precision, his fingers delicately caught your chin, directing your gaze toward him.

"You dream about going up there, but that is a big mistake," Sigma said, his expression filled with concern. Yet, in response to his seriousness, you couldn't help but smirk ever so slightly, intrigued by his words.

"Just look at the world around you, right here on the ocean floor," Sigma encouraged, his voice filled with conviction. In a graceful motion, he took hold of your hand, twirling you in a joyous dance beneath the waves.

"Such wonderful things surround you. What more is you lookin' for?" Sigma sang, his eyes fixed on you, his voice brimming with joy. At that moment, as if responding to the magic of the ocean, a couple of fish appeared, swirling gracefully around the two of you. Their vibrant colors and playful antics brought joy to your heart, and you couldn't help but giggle as one of the fish playfully planted a gentle kiss on your cheek.

"Under the sea, under the sea," Sigma exclaimed as he deftly gathered his two-toned hair and expertly tied it into a neat bun. With his preparations complete, he began gracefully swimming around you, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Darling, it's better, down where it's wetter. Take it from me," Sigma sang, his grin widening as he took your hand and guided you towards his magnificent casino. As you swam together, the vibrant corals painted a mesmerizing tapestry around you, captivating your senses. But it was the sight of the grand casino logo that truly caught your attention.

"Up on the shore, they work all day, Out in the sun they slave away," Sigma dramatized, playfully draping an arm across his face. You couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating his theatrical flair. Sigma glanced back at you, a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

"While we devotin', Full time to floatin' Under the sea," Sigma sang, his voice filled with joyous melodies. Together, you ventured inside the casino, mesmerized by the kaleidoscope of colors that adorned the interior. Merfolk patrons, immersed in the thrill of games, lined the area, while a lively band played on the stage. Sigma swam towards the stage, where a spirited ginger merman skillfully played the drums—Tachihara.

"Down here all the fish is happy, As off through the waves they roll," Sigma sang in harmony with Tachihara's rhythmic beats. As you watched their performance, captivated by the infectious energy, you noticed a playful dolphin gracefully swimming in elegant circles around the perimeter of the casino.

"The fish on the land ain't happy, They sad 'cause they in their bowl," Sigma mused with a hint of mock sympathy, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. Tachihara's grin widened, the camaraderie between them evident as they continued to sing and play.

"But fish in the bowl is lucky, They in for a worser fate," Sigma sang, his voice carrying a touch of irony. With a playful twinkle in his eyes, he swam towards you, gently guiding you to a chair before darting back to the stage. As you settled into your seat, your gaze wandered around the casino, and a smirk tugged at your lips when you noticed a merman losing a bet, his crestfallen expression momentarily amusing you.

"One day when the boss get hungry, Guess who's gon' be on the plate?" Tachihara and Sigma sang in perfect harmony, their voices blending seamlessly. The infectious rhythm and energy of the song ignited a wave of excitement, causing the merfolk in the vicinity to join in, swaying and dancing to the beat.

"Oh, no, under the sea, under the sea," Sigma continued, his grin playful and contagious as he swam in playful circles around Tachihara. Their synchronized movements and lively energy filled the space, causing their fins to twitch with joy.

"Nobody beat us, Fry us and eat us,In fricassee," Sigma declared, his words filled with confidence. As you reveled in the enchanting atmosphere, your attention turned to a cluster of colorful flowers nearby. Tenderly, you reached out to caress one of them, only to discover that it was not a mere bloom but a delightful seahorse. Surprise flashed across your face, and at that moment, more seahorses emerged, swimming in playful circles around you, eliciting joyous giggles from your lips.

"We're what the land folks love to cook, But under the sea, we're off the hook," Sigma sang with infectious enthusiasm, his voice brimming with energy as he danced to the lively beat. However, his joy was momentarily interrupted when his tail became entangled in a net. He shot a disgusted glance at it before skillfully freeing himself and casting the net aside.

"Here, we've got no troubles, life is just bubbles, under the sea," Sigma sang with a radiant smile, his voice resonating with pure joy. The infectious energy of the music drew more merfolk and fish to the stage, creating a vibrant gathering of singing and dancing. Sigma gracefully swam back to the stage, joining the spirited performance with his mesmerizing presence.

"Since life is so sweet here, we've got the beat here, naturally," Sigma continued to sing, his voice infused with a sense of bliss. As you watched him dance to the rhythm, a gentle smile tugged at your lips, realizing that you had never seen him so genuinely carefree and immersed in the moment.

"Even the sturgeon and the ray, they feel the urge and join the play," Sigma sang, his eyes scanning the crowd as he noticed that the majority of merfolk had succumbed to the infectious rhythm, surrendering themselves to the pure delight of the music. Among them, you recognized Tecchou and Teruko, skillfully playing their respective instruments—a flute and a harp. Their melodies blended seamlessly with Sigma's voice, creating a magical harmony that resonated throughout the Casino's haven.

"We've got the spirit, you've got to hear it," Sigma exclaimed with boundless energy, his body still moving in sync with the lively rhythm. Atsushi unexpectedly emerged from the crowd, a smile illuminating his face as he gracefully weaved through the singing fish. Suddenly, his gaze locked onto you, and a mischievous glimmer sparked in his eyes as he quickened his pace. Skillfully navigating through the sea of merfolk, he attempted to maintain a semblance of discretion.

However, his attempts to be inconspicuous were short-lived, as a playful string unexpectedly snared him, entangling him in a dance with the fish who had captured him. Atsushi squirmed and wriggled, determined to break free from their impromptu hold. With a burst of agility, he skillfully maneuvered himself out of the rope's clutches, a triumphant grin on his face. With a whisper that only you could hear, he beckoned you to follow him, and you both silently slipped away, leaving Sigma unaware of your departure.

"Under the sea," Sigma began singing once more, turning around to search for you, only to find that you were no longer by his side. A sigh escaped his lips, a hint of disappointment mingled with his annoyance.

"Somebody's got to nail her tail to the ground," Sigma grumbled, a touch of annoyance coloring his voice. Determined to ensure the satisfaction of his customers, he left the stage behind, venturing into the casino to offer his assistance. However, before he could attend to any concerns, a small seahorse swiftly swam toward him.

"Your Highness! Your Highness!" A tiny seahorse called out, urgently seeking Sigma's attention. Startled, Sigma turned his focus to the seahorse, concern etching his features.

"Whoa, hey, what's the matter?" Sigma inquired, his voice filled with genuine worry, while the seahorse took a moment to catch its breath after its swift swim.

"I've been searching high and low for you. I bear an urgent message from the king. He insists on seeing you immediately! It's regarding [Name]," the seahorse relayed, its words laced with a sense of urgency. Without wasting another moment, the seahorse swiftly darted away, leaving Sigma to grapple with a growing sense of apprehension.

"He knows," Sigma muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, a gasp escaping his lips. Panic washed over him, evident in his wide eyes and the furrowed lines on his forehead.

"Hey, let's see now. Oh, who could the lucky mermaid or merman be?" Fukuzawa's infectious laughter filled the air as he playfully twirled a vibrant flower in his hands. With a composed demeanor, he straightened himself upon noticing Sigma's arrival at the doorway.

"Come in, Sigma," Fukuzawa beckoned, his smile ever-present. The merman took a deep breath, attempting to calm his racing thoughts, before stepping forward to stand before the regal throne.

"I mustn't overreact. I must remain calm," Sigma whispered to himself, trying to find solace in his own words. He took a deep breath, attempting to steady his trembling fins, and responded to Fukuzawa in a voice that betrayed his inner turmoil.

"Yes?" Sigma's voice wavered, the sound escaping in a squeaky tone that revealed his unease. His face flushed, caught between anxiety and embarrassment, as he addressed the regal presence before him. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Sigma, I'm concerned about [Name]," Fukuzawa voiced his worries, unaware of the hidden turmoil within Sigma. "She's been daydreaming, humming to herself... Surely you've noticed, hmm?"

"Oh, well, I—" Sigma began, his words faltering and his fins trembling involuntarily. He strained to maintain his posture and replied with a shaky voice, trying to regain control.

"Sigma," Fukuzawa's voice called him back to attention, his gaze now fixed on the uneasy merman.

"Your Highness?" Sigma replied, his voice barely above a whisper, betraying his turmoil.

"I know you've been keeping something from me," Fukuzawa stated, motioning for Sigma to come closer. Nervously, Sigma ascended the steps and positioned himself in front of the majestic throne.

"Keeping something?" Sigma mumbled, a forced, nervous grin plastered across his face as he willed his trembling tail to still. The strain of his anxiety threatened to consume him, like an impending tidal wave crashing against his resolve.

"About [Name]?" Fukuzawa pressed his smile both knowing and playful. His trident pointed toward Sigma in a teasing manner.

"[Name?]" Sigma uttered hesitantly, his anxiety mounting. He maintained the façade of a smile, but his insides churned with apprehension.

"In love?" Fukuzawa pressed, his smile both knowing and playful. His trident pointed toward Sigma in a teasing manner.

"I... I tried to stop her, sir!" Sigma blurted out, his words tumbling forth in a rush of nerves. He desperately clung to the armrest of the throne, seeking support amid the mounting pressure. "She wouldn't listen! I told her to stay away from humans! They are bad! They are trouble! They—"

"Humans?" Fukuzawa interjected, his voice filled with an unexpected intensity. Rising from his throne, he glared at Sigma, a mix of anger and concern surfacing in his features. "What about humans?"

"Humans?" Sigma chuckled nervously, his words faltering as he instinctively began to retreat, his voice laced with a nervous ramble. "Who said anything about humans?"

And in that instant, Sigma realized he had made a grave mistake—one that would have extreme consequences.

"Can't you just tell me, Atsushi...?" you asked softly, a slight frown creasing your forehead. Curiosity piqued within you, longing to discover what awaited inside the grotto.

"It's a surprise!" Atsushi beamed, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he looked at you. Leading the way, he guided you to the entrance of the grotto, anticipation building with each step.

"Well, now close your eyes!" Atsushi declared, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. With a resigned sigh, you complied, though an urge to peek tempted you. Atsushi, sensing your intent, quickly covered your eyes with his hand, ensuring the surprise remained intact. Together, you ventured further into the cave, the sound of the rock sliding back into place echoing faintly behind you, signaling your arrival at the designated spot.

"Okay, open them!" Atsushi exclaimed, standing before you. Eagerly complying, you slowly unveiled your eyes, and as the delicate beam of light from above illuminated the cave, your eyes widened with surprise. There, right in front of you, was the statue of Chuuya—the very statue salvaged from the wreckage of the ship that fateful night. Nearly true to size, it captured Chuuya's essence, portraying him as the embodiment of determination and heroism, though his signature smile was absent.

"Atsushi, you're the best!" you exclaimed, unable to contain your joy. A bright smile adorned your face as you enveloped your friend in a heartfelt hug, grateful for the gesture.Drawing closer to the statue, you reached out, your hand gently cupping Chuuya's concrete cheek, feeling the coolness of the material beneath your touch. Though his pose may have been exaggerated and his hair fixed somewhat uncomfortably, there was an undeniable beauty in the way the statue portrayed Chuuya.

"Why, Chuuya, run away with you?" you giggled playfully, your voice echoing through the cavern. You leaned your head on the statue's shoulder, a gesture filled with whimsy. "Oh, this is all so, so sudden,"

"Don't you think you're getting a bit...you know...worked up?" Atsushi interjected, his face contorting into a slight grimace. He observed you closely, concern etched across his features until he sensed a presence looming behind him.

"Can you blame me? He is perfect," you replied dreamily, completely absorbed in admiring the statue of Chuuya. Caught up in the moment, you twirled around with laughter, momentarily forgetting your surroundings. But as your gaze shifted, a sudden change in your expression signaled a shift in the atmosphere. Your laughter faded as you locked eyes with your father, standing sternly in the shadows, a disapproving glare fixed upon you. Atsushi instinctively swam to your side, sensing the tension in the air. Meanwhile, Sigma lingered behind your father, unable to face you.

"Father?" you called out, your voice laced with a mixture of shock and fear, as the weight of his disapproving presence settled upon you.

"I consider myself to be a reasonable king," Fukuzawa spoke in a low, chilling tone that sent shivers down your spine. Instinctively, you unconsciously swam back a bit, a reflexive response to the intensity in his voice. "I set certain rules, and I expect those rules to be obeyed."

"But—" you pleaded, desperation seeping into your voice, only to be swiftly silenced.

"Is it true you rescued a Prince from drowning? A human Prince!" Fukuzawa's voice dripped with fury as he swam towards you, his anger palpable."Dad, I had to—" you exclaimed, attempting to reason with him, but your father's icy glare silenced you.

"Contact between two species is strictly forbidden! You know that! Everyone knows that!" Fukuzawa's tone turned cold, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with you.

"He would have died!" you chided incredulously, your voice filled with disbelief. The shock settled in, realizing that your own father, the protector of all merfolk, expected you to let someone die in such a cruel manner.

"One less human to worry about!" Fukuzawa spat, his words seething with anger as he glared at you.

"I'm sorry that I don't want to be a murderer like you," you sneered, your voice laden with anger and contempt. Atsushi and Sigma looked on in shock as the words escaped your lips, taken aback by the sudden shift in your demeanor. Defiantly, you approached your father, unflinchingly meeting his fury with a cold glare of your own as you continued, "Do you think I don't know about all the atrocities your guards were sent to commit? You try to protect me and hide your past, but you keep making the same mistakes."

"And besides, you don't even know him!" you yelled, your anger seething. Huffs of frustration punctuated your words as you maintained a fierce gaze, refusing to back down. Atsushi and Sigma stood in stunned silence, their eyes widening in disbelief as you unleashed your pent-up frustration.

"Know him?! All humans are equal! They are born to destroy! They're incapable of any feeling!" Fukuzawa's voice thundered with anger, his glare intense as he shouted. The force of his words reverberated through the chamber, a display of his growing fury.

"Father, I love him!" you yelled back, your anger matching his intensity as you locked eyes with him. But as the words left your lips, a shockwave of realization rippled through you, the weight of your admission hitting you with full force.

"Have you lost your mind?! He's a human! You're a mermaid!" Fukuzawa's disbelief resonated in his voice, his gaze fixed upon you, searching for any sign of reason.

"Guess what? I don't care," you stated firmly, your anger burning bright as you held your head high, facing your father.

"So help me, [Name]! I am going to get through to you," the king declared, his voice laced with frustration and determination. Raising his trident, the weapon shimmered brightly in his grip as he pointed it toward a nearby globe. With a surge of power, the globe shattered into countless pieces, scattered by the force unleashed by his trident.

"NO!" you screamed at your father, the anguish of your voice echoing through the chamber. Atsushi swiftly moved to your side, wrapping his arms around you, offering solace as tears finally spilled from your eyes, uncontrollable and full of pain.

Fukuzawa continued to wield his trident, his wrath unrelenting. Pointing it in another direction, he unleashed bolts of power, obliterating more of the treasures you had accumulated throughout the years—The artifacts, accumulated throughout your lifetime, shattered into fragments or melted away, losing their form and essence.

"Dad, please!" you implored, your voice cracking with desperation, but your father remained silent, relentless in his assault on your cherished belongings. The bolts of energy continued to rain down upon your treasures. Sigma watched in terror at the destruction, while Atsushi, his face filled with concern, struggled to hold you tightly in his arms.

"Dad, please! Don't!" you yelled with desperation, breaking free from Atsushi's grasp. You swam frantically, attempting to reach your father, desperately trying to stop his arms as they pointed the trident towards the statue of Chuuya. The bolt of energy hit its mark directly causing the statue to crumble from within, reduced to a mere cloud of dust and tiny, crumbly pieces that floated aimlessly through the cove.

Staring at the remnants of the statue, you swam towards it, your eyes fixated on the spot where it once stood. It was a symbol of your deepest longings, now shattered and lost in an instant. Overwhelmed with grief, you fell to the ground, crying, your palms tightly covering your eyes as sobs wracked through your throat.

Fukuzawa extended a hand towards you, his expression softening, but he stopped himself mid-air and walked away. Sigma observed Fukuzawa's departure, then turned his attention back to you, swimming closer with a guilt-ridden look on his face.

"[Name], I—" Sigma began softly, his voice filled with remorse, but before he could say more, you interjected with a venomous tone.

"Just go away!" you gritted through your teeth, your anger seething as you rushed out your words, your face still hidden deep within the palms of your hands. You knew that if you looked up, you would unleash your frustrations on Sigma, screaming in fury, your tail flicked with disdain.

Sigma winced visibly, his arm lowering from its intended reach towards you. He glanced briefly at Atsushi, who appeared conflicted but understood that overwhelming you with his presence at that moment would only worsen things. Slowly, Sigma swam out of the cave, with Atsushi following closely behind, leaving you to confront your emotions on your own.

As you continued to sob at the bottom of your grotto, believing yourself to be alone, a pair of eyes stared intently at your form. They had been waiting for this moment, knowing it was their chance to intervene. Slowly emerging from hiding, the two merman swam in circles around you, their presence palpable.

"Poor child," one of the mermen sneered, casting a disdainful gaze upon you, while his companion nodded in feigned sympathy.

"Poor sweet thing," the white-haired merman cooed deceptively, his voice laced with faux concern. His cold red eyes bore into you as he circled, his intent unmistakable.

"She has a very serious issue..." the jet-black-haired one remarked, his gaze still fixed upon you, his smirk betraying a sense of amusement. The two of them continued their circling, an air of mischief surrounding them.

"If only there was something we could do..." the white-haired merman spoke again, his tone dripping with insincere sadness, his eyes fixed on you, analyzing your reaction. He then positioned himself closer to his eel-like companion, their presence becoming more imposing.

"But there is something..." the jet-black merman chimed in gleefully, his yellow eyes twinkling mischievously. He shot a knowing glance at his companion, a wide grin etched upon his face.

"Who... Who are you two?" you demanded, your anger simmering as you furrowed your brow, your guard firmly in place.

"Do not be frightened..." Shibusawa smiled sweetly, his red eyes piercing as he stood in front of you, his gaze unwavering. Meanwhile, Mushitarou slithered around you like a cat, sneering in a taunting manner.

"We represent someone who can help you," Mushitarou smiled, his voice layered with sinister undertones. Annoyed by his intrusion, you glared back, your patience wearing thin, you watched as he left to rejoin Shibusawa, his tail lifting your chin in a mocking gesture.

"Someone who can make all your dreams come true. Just imagine it—a reunion with your prince," they said in unison, their smiles widening as they spoke.

"I don't get it," you said, a mix of confusion and intrigue crossing your features, the idea of someone offering a solution to your heart's desires captivating your attention.

"Fyodor possesses great powers," Shibusawa revealed, a dark chuckle escaping him as he flashed a sinister grin, drawing closer to your face, his eyes locked with yours.

"The sea demon...?" you asked, anxiety creeping into your voice as you regarded both of them. "I couldn't..."

You contemplated the offer presented to you, grappling with a surge of desperation that you had never experienced before. The thought of being with Chuuya without the constant worry of the demon's tricks enticed you, even if only for a fleeting moment.

"No. Get out of here. Leave me alone!" you declared, your eyes narrowed in defiance as you turned away from them, determined to resist their tempting offer.

"Very well then... it was merely a suggestion..." Shibusawa's voice trailed off as he swam away, a smug smile adorning his face. Mushitarou followed suit, his expression one of disdain.

Yet, as you gazed upon the stone profile of Chuuya, your heart shattered. Deep within, you contemplated the risks, the dangers, and the price you might pay for just a fleeting moment with Chuuya. Even if it meant sacrificing your own well-being, your desperate longing compelled you.

"Wait!" you yelled out, your voice filled with uncertainty and a hint of desperation.

"Yes...?" Shibusawa responded, his voice taking on a menacing tone, a dark grin spreading across his face as he addressed you, relishing in the opportunity that had presented itself.

"Guide me to him," you firmly ordered, your gaze unwavering as you looked at both Shibusawa and Mushitarou.

"Then follow me, Your Highness," Shibusawa responded with a sickly sweet smile, his voice laced with malice as he locked eyes with you.

Somewhere amidst the reef, Sigma and Atsushi continued to swim in circles, unaware of the unfolding events.

"I didn't mean to tell," Sigma swore, guilt evident in his voice as his tail twitched anxiously. "It was an accident!"

"I know, Sigma," Atsushi replied, sadness etched across his features as he kicked a pebble with his tail. He looked up and noticed you swimming alongside the two mermen. Locking eyes with Sigma, they shared a silent understanding before swiftly swimming toward your figure.

"[Name]!" Sigma called out, swimming closer to you. "Where are you going?!"

"I'm going to see Fyodor," you responded bluntly, your tone resolute and your frown firmly set. It was clear that you had no intention of changing your mind or heeding any objections.

"What?! [Name], no! Fyodor is dangerous, he's a demon!" Sigma exclaimed, worry etched across his features as he tried to reach out to you. However, you shot him a glare that spoke volumes, silently warning him not to interfere.

"Why don't you go tell my father?" you retorted sharply, your gaze lingering on Sigma for a moment before you turned away, resolute in your decision. "You're good at that."

Sigma and Atsushi exchanged helpless glances as they watched you swim away, their expressions a mixture of concern and frustration. They had tried to reason with you, to protect you from the dangers that awaited, but their words seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. Sensing the urgency of the situation, Sigma gestured for Atsushi to follow him, silently communicating their shared determination to keep you safe.

The merman, Shibusawa, led you deeper into the dark and foreboding depths of the sea bottom. The once vibrant surroundings gave way to an eerie and desolate landscape, where random spirals of lilac smoke erupted from the ground. Sigma and Atsushi followed cautiously, maintaining a distance but remaining determined to protect you.

As you approached the entrance of what appeared to be a cave, a wave of hesitation washed over you. The cave bore a disfigured creature's shape, its open mouth adorned with menacing fangs and teeth, as if ready to snatch away anyone foolish enough to venture inside.

"Come this way," Shibusawa beckoned sweetly, his voice laced with that same sinister smirk that sent chills down your spine.

Swallowing hard, you mustered your courage and followed them into the depths of the tunnel. Inside, the walls were adorned with thousands of small, rotten-looking creatures, their twisted bodies reaching out towards you in a tormenting manner. Their crooked heads, with big sad yellow eyes that seemed burdened with knowledge, emitted haunting wails that echoed throughout the cavern. It was an eerie sight that made your skin crawl.

Suddenly, one of the creatures grabbed onto your arm, its grip surprisingly strong. Panic welled up within you as you fought desperately to free yourself from its grasp, the struggle intensifying with each passing moment.

"Come in, child. It's rude to linger in doorways, you know?" a voice echoed from within the cave, its tone laced with a hauntingly alluring melody. Once you managed to break free from the creature's grasp, you cautiously proceeded further, your gaze sweeping the surroundings. Finally, you caught sight of a figure seated on a throne made of bones, his eyes glowing with an eerie purple hue, fixed intently upon you

"One might question your upbringing," the man said, still looking down at you from his imposing throne. With graceful movements, his tentacles, colored in an eerie blend of black and purple, aided him as he swam toward you. A slight smirk adorned his face, and you couldn't help but notice the cross pendant hanging around his neck as he stood before you.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, your majesty," he said with a charming smile, reaching out to take your chin, displaying a self-assured demeanor.

"You must be the sea demon, right?" you asked hesitantly, managing to free yourself from Fyodor's grip with a quick and subtle movement. You tried to maintain a straight face, concealing your nervousness.

"It seems that my fame runs across the ocean," Fyodor chuckled amusedly, his gaze never wavering from your form as he circled you, attempting to get a better look. Stopping behind you, he continued, "Yes, that's me. I believe you already know my name."

"But enough with the introductions, let's cut to the chase," Fyodor said, his voice smooth as silk. He tightened his grip on you with one of his tentacles, pulling you closer to his face.

"You're here because you have a thing for a human, a prince no less. Not that I blame you," Fyodor chuckled amusedly, his purple eyes gleaming with malevolence. He grabbed your cheeks with his hand, whispering to you in a voice heavy with an accent, "He's quite the catch, my dear. If I were you, I wouldn't want to miss this proposition that I have."

"And what proposition do you speak of? They say I have to be wary of you," you retorted hastily, breaking free from his hold, trying to maintain a straight posture and serious demeanor, though a light blush adorned your cheek at the mention of Chuuya.

"Who says that? Your father? You know that the only thing he does is lie to you, didn't you notice?" Fyodor's tone dripped with insincere amusement as he taunted you. In the corner of his eye, he noticed your widened eyes and saddened expression, which only seemed to amuse him further.

"And I propose to make you human," Fyodor continued, his voice oozing with a sinister charm. "After all, I'm the only one who can grant you that transformation."

"Can you do that?" You asked, scoffing while maintaining a suspicious glare at him. Fyodor responded with an amused laugh, looking at you like a predator would eye its prey.

"My dear, Precious Shell, that's what I do. Otherwise, my fame wouldn't be that of a Demon," Fyodor said with a sneer, his purple eyes gleaming with mischief. His purplish tentacles wrapped around your arms, pulling you closer to him, enveloping you in his presence.

"I admit that in the past I've been nasty," Fyodor remarked with an amused glint in his eyes, his gaze locked onto your scowl. Shibusawa and Mushitarou lingered behind Fyodor, both wearing mischievous grins. He shifted his attention to them momentarily before resuming, "They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange."

"But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways," Fyodor declared, a sneer tugging at the corners of his lips as he leaned in closer to your face. Mushitarou's laughter at his words earned him a sharp glare from Shibusawa.

"Repented, seen the light, and made a change," Fyodor chuckled softly, his amusement evident as he drew you nearer to him, causing your muscles to tense involuntarily.

"And I fortunately know a little secret. It's a talent that I've always possessed," Fyodor whispered with his hand playfully concealing his mouth, his eyes gleaming with a sadistic edge as his grin widened. Your response was a defiant glare that matched his intense gaze.

"And dear lady, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf," Fyodor's voice took on a dark undertone as he abruptly released his grip on you. He strode towards a nearby cauldron adorned with paintings of various merfolk. With deliberate movements, he dipped his fingers in black ink and began to sketch on the wall. You watched him, perplexed and uneasy.

"Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed" Fyodor's tone oozed with sarcasm as he glanced back at you. Stepping aside from the painting, he provided a clear view of what he had drawn. To your dismay, the artwork depicted you with an expression of profound misery. His purplish tentacles rested languidly on the cauldron's rim, and his grin was equal parts eerie and mocking.

"Pathetic," Mushitarou and Shibusawa whispered to you, their voices carrying a sadistic gleam that matched the wickedness in their eyes. You felt disturbed by the drawing, your unease evident, while Fyodor's laughter filled the air in response.

"Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need," Fyodor's voice took on a dramatic, raspy quality as he spoke. The cauldron before him exploded in a burst of mystical energy, materializing two of his drawings into life. One depicted a sorrowful merman, the other a melancholic mermaid.

"This one's longing to be thinner," Fyodor pointed out, his gaze directed at the mermaid with an empty expression on her face. Shifting his attention, he indicated the merman, who wore an expression of lovesickness. Fyodor continued with a sinister edge, "That one wants to get the girl."

"And do I help them? Yes, indeed!" Fyodor's grin widened as he spoke. With a flourish of his hand, he granted the mermaid a transformed appearance, while the merman's features grew handsome and captivating. The two figures locked eyes, their happiness palpable as they were finally reunited. Yet, the merman's expression twisted into a maniacal smile, he seized a knife and brutally ended the mermaid's life.

"Those poor unfortunate souls, so sad, so true," Fyodor's voice resonated, his gaze locked onto your horrified expression. In a sudden motion, one of his tentacles snaked out and grabbed you, causing you to startle and let out a yelp.

"They come flocking to me, crying, 'Will you help us, pretty please?'" Fyodor's tone was eerie as he circled you, his movements reminiscent of a predator closing in on its prey. Despite being held by his tentacle, you felt an unsettling shiver run down your spine.

"And I help them! Yes, I do!" Fyodor's grin widened, his fingers pressing into your shoulders as he forcefully guided you to a corner of the room. As your back met the wall, you couldn't help but notice the once-blank walls now adorned with handprints and twisted shadows, each with a disfigured smile. Your expression fell, a mixture of fear and realization flooding your senses.

"Now, it's happened once or twice, someone couldn't pay the price," Fyodor's words rang out as he plucked a skull from a shelf, holding it aloft while casting a look of faint disgust upon it.

"And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals," Fyodor's voice dripped with a malevolent amusement, his words laced with a sinister edge. Your gaze shifted around your surroundings, taking in the grim tableau that surrounded you. Souls and handprints adorned the walls, painted in foreboding black, each visage etched with an aura of unending misery. Your discomfort grew with every glance.

"Yes, I've had the odd complaint, but on the whole, I've been a saint," Fyodor's tone adopted a falsely sympathetic note, his words laden with insincerity. The skull he'd held was discarded, and with a predatory grin, he swam closer to you.

"To those poor unfortunate souls," Fyodor's amusement was evident as he spoke. Without warning, his tentacles coiled around you once more, their grip unyielding as he dragged you towards the looming cauldron.

"So here's the deal: I'll whip up a little potion to make you human for three days. Got that? Three days," Fyodor's voice held a calculating edge, his words carrying an air of unnerving certainty. The tentacles that held you seemed to tighten slightly, adding to your discomfort.

"Now listen, this is important: before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get ol' princey to fall in love with you," Fyodor's smirk seemed to stretch wider, his eyes gleaming with mischief that sent a shiver down your spine. You shifted uneasily, feeling the weight of his gaze like a physical touch, you couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling that you were merely a pawn in his grand game.

"That is, he's got to kiss you; not just any kiss, this kiss of True Love. If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day, you'll remain human permanently!" Fyodor's laughter echoed around you, and his glance held a glint of mischief. Your thoughts whirred, a blend of discomfort and contemplation clouding your expression.

"But, if he doesn't, you turn back into a mermaid, and you'll belong to me" Fyodor's tone took a chilling turn, his cold glare accompanied by a sadistic smile that sent a shiver down your spine. Dread pooled in the pit of your stomach as his statement sent a shiver down your spine. The unease within you deepened as you grappled with the gravity of his words.

"Well, my dear, it's only fair that I disclose one more detail," Fyodor's voice took on a sinister undertone, his amusement still lingering as he focused on you.

"I'm going to take something precious from you, your siren voice," he continued, his tone dripping with cold satisfaction. As his words settled in the air, his gaze flicked to the cross pendant hanging around his neck.

"But don't fret. I'll keep it safe," Fyodor's grin twisted into something that bordered on eerie reassurance. His tentacles swirled as if in a macabre dance, and his purple eyes held an unsettling glint as he contemplated the course of events that were about to unfold.

"We got a deal?" Fyodor's words dripped with amusement as he observed your pensive expression. His tentacles rested against the cauldron's edge, the glint of malevolence in his purple eyes was hard to ignore.

"I... I don't know," you stammered hesitantly, uncertainty tainting your words. Fyodor's chuckle, though small, seemed to reverberate within the air, his gaze still fixed upon you as he released his grip, allowing you a moment to process the weight of the decision before you.

"Life's full of tough choices, in'it?" Fyodor quipped, his tone infused with a certain dark amusement as he watched your inner struggle unfold before him.

"No, this is wrong. I can't do this," you finally uttered, your realization hitting you like a tidal wave. The gravity of what you were about to embark on sank in, and it clashed violently with your morals and values. In that moment, a surge of courage fueled your actions, propelling you to swim away from Fyodor.

"Fine then, forget about the world above. Go back home to daddy and never leave again," Fyodor's words dripped with a sneer, his tone laced with disdain. The barbed comment made you come to a halt in your tracks, the memory of chuuya and your father's actions rushing back to the forefront of your mind. You turned back to face Fyodor, conflicted emotions swirling within you.

"But even if I accept, without my voice, how can I—" you started, your words tinged with a blend of uncertainty and anxiety. Your gaze met Fyodor's, and your tail swished restlessly in the water, mirroring the unease that coursed through your being. The prospect of the sacrifice you were about to make weighed heavily on your mind, overshadowing the hope that flickered within you.

"Everything will be fine, my dear shell. You are a mermaid, a being of inhuman beauty and seductive presence. You don't have to say anything," Fyodor's voice, dripping with a blend of assurance and manipulation, sought to sway your doubts. He spoke of your allure as a mermaid, attempting to diminish the importance of your voice in the human world. You bristled at the condescension, unable to shake off the feeling that you were being trapped in his web of manipulation.

"Besides, the men up there don't like a lot of blabber," Fyodor interjected with an enigmatic smile, cutting off your train of thought. The dismissal of your voice and its significance stung, and you felt a mixture of frustration and indignation.

"They think a girl who gossips is a bore!" Fyodor's amusement was evident as he continued, his words playing on your hurt expression. The irony of his statement wasn't lost on you, the manipulation of your perception becoming clearer with each passing moment.

"Yes, on land, it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word," Fyodor's voice carried a sense of calculated charm, a persuasive attempt to guide your perspective. His enigmatic smile persisted, masking his true intentions behind a veneer of authority.

"And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?" Fyodor's words, delivered with a twisted sort of wisdom, seemed to coax you into questioning the value of your voice. The weight of his manipulation was tangible in the water around you, a current of influence attempting to sweep away your convictions. Yet, even as doubt crept in, you found yourself reflecting on the meaningful connections you had forged with individuals who appreciated the authenticity of your words.

"They're not all that impressed with conversation," Fyodor's words continued to weave their spell, his tone dripping with a deceptive allure that aimed to weaken your resolve. His enigmatic smile held an unsettling power, as if he was manipulating not just your thoughts, but the very fabric of reality around you.

"True gentlemen avoid it when they can," Fyodor's assertion seemed like a carefully constructed narrative, a seductive distortion of truth that sought to undermine the value of communication itself. Yet, the threads of truth were interwoven with his lies. You recalled the times when words were empty, when conversations held no depth, and you realized that not all interactions were genuine or valuable.

"But they dote and swoon and fawn On ladies who withdraw," Fyodor's words dripped with a mixture of mockery and disdain, his sneer conveying his distorted view of the world above. His tentacles once again coiled around you, their grip tight and unyielding. You watched warily as he dipped his hand into the black ink, a shiver coursing down your spine as you anticipated his next move.

"It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man," Fyodor's amusement rang out, his chuckle embodying the twisted satisfaction he derived from distorting reality. The ink-stained hand reached for your face, drawing an ominous X over your mouth. The gesture robbed you of your voice, silencing you in the most literal sense. A sense of powerless frustration welled within you, your glare at Fyodor a testament to the anger that churned beneath the surface.

As if his actions weren't enough, two shadowed figures emerged, winding themselves around your neck with a cruel grip that constricted your airway. The sensation of choking, both literal and metaphorical, tightened its hold on you, further amplifying your vulnerability in the face of Fyodor's manipulation.

"Poor unfortunate souls," Fyodor's voice resonated, his tone laced with a blend of triumph and malevolence. The situation had unfolded exactly as he had orchestrated, and the satisfaction gleamed in his eyes.

"Go ahead! Make your choice!" Fyodor's words carried an eerie command, his enigmatic smile growing even wider. The weight of your decision, the gravity of the sacrifice he had compelled you to consider, bore down upon you. The struggle between your desire for freedom and the overwhelming pressure of his manipulation cast a tumultuous sea of doubt within your mind.

"I'm a very busy person, and I haven't got all day," Fyodor's cold assertion hung in the water, a stark reminder of the urgency he imposed upon you. His demeanor remained calculating, his words an unspoken threat that compelled you to act on his terms. As the cauldron's magic conjured an image of Chuuya, your attention was captured by the fleeting vision. You found yourself drawn to the representation of his presence, your hands instinctively reaching out to touch the water's surface, a smile graced your lips, a reflection of the warmth that Chuuya's memory invoked within you.

"It won't cost much. Just your voice!" Fyodor's tone dropped with a sense of foreboding, his words a chilling contrast to the image of Chuuya. And in a cruel twist, the image shattered, the shards of the vision dissipating into the water, leaving you with a deep ache of loss and the stark realization of the sinister price Fyodor demanded.

"Those poor unfortunate souls, so sad, so true," Fyodor's chuckle cut through the tension, a dark amusement dancing in his eyes as he gazed at you. The weight of your situation intensified, the realization that your interactions with him were tied to your longing to see Chuuya again. It was a desperate gamble, a last resort to break free from the shackles of your father's commands.

In the shadows, Sigma caught sight of your interaction and hurriedly swam towards you, an intent to intervene etched on his face. However, before he could reach you, Shibusawa's swift action silenced him. A dagger at his throat froze Sigma in his tracks.

"Take a gulp, take a breath, go ahead, Sign the scroll, " Fyodor's taunting voice accompanied your every heartbeat, urging you forward into this pact. The weight of his manipulative words, the gravity of the choice you were about to make, settled upon your shoulders like an anchor. As if in a trance, you found yourself moving closer to the bowl of black paint and the ominous scroll.

With a steady hand, you reached for the quill and signed the scroll, the ink absorbing your agreement with a sense of finality. The implications of this act reverberated through your thoughts, a swell of uncertainty mingling with the spark of defiance that burned within you. Sigma and Atsushi watched with horrified expressions. Their eyes reflected a mixture of disbelief and concern, you lowered the quill and your signature marked the scroll.

"Mushitarou and Shibusawa, now I've got her, boys," Fyodor's triumphant declaration cut through the charged atmosphere, his voice dripping with a sense of victory as he turned to his accomplices. The sinister duo exchanged a knowing glance, a shared sense of accomplishment passing between them.

"The boss is on a roll! This poor unfortunate soul," Fyodor's triumphant words resounded with a self-satisfied grin, his gloating demeanor enveloping the space like a malevolent aura. The finality of your decision, the ink-stained contract you had signed, played directly into his hands, and he relished in the power he now held over you, he then positioned himself in front of the cauldron and burst with mystical energy, the cauldron erupted in an explosion of vibrant colors and swirling currents. causing you to flinch instinctively.

"Beluga, sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea," Fyodor's voice resonated with a chant that carried an eerie cadence. The air around him seemed to shimmer with an otherworldly energy as he extended his grip to the cauldron. As he invoked the incantation, the cauldron responded with a surge of power. An explosion of blue magic erupted from its depths, its brilliance illuminating the water around you.

"Larengix glaucitis, et max laryngitis, La voce to me," Fyodor's incantation flowed from his lips, the arcane words weaving a spell that resonated with ancient power. The very water seemed to respond, the currents shifting and swirling around him as he continued to manipulate the cauldron's magic. incantation took hold, a profound transformation occurred. The blue magic that had been circulating between you and Fyodor began to shift, its hue morphing into a vivid shade of green.

"Now, sing," Fyodor's command sliced through the water, his tone cold and demanding. The very currents seemed to still, the atmosphere charged with an electric tension as he fixed his gaze upon you. The spell he had woven, the contract you had sealed, demanded its price—one that was intricately tied to the very essence of who you were.

As you sang, your voice held a haunting beauty, the notes resonating with the emotions that had led you to this point. But with each passing moment, you felt something inexplicable happening. Your voice began to waver, its strength faltering as if it was being drawn away from you. Panic seized your chest, the realization of what was happening sending shockwaves through your senses.

"Keep singing!" Fyodor's demand was sharp, a command that compelled you forward even as you felt your voice slipping away from you. Desperation and fear swelled within you, and you put a trembling hand over your throat, your efforts to hold onto your voice proving futile. Your eyes widened in disbelief as you watched your voice, the essence of who you were, coalesce into a tangible form and move toward Fyodor, now belonged to him.

As your voice completed its journey to Fyodor, a transformation began to unfold within you. doubt crept in like a shadow, causing uncertainty to dance across your thoughts. Your tail, once a graceful extension of your being, began to split and morph, forming human legs in their place, a surge of searing pain coursed through your body, ripping a scream from your lips. Your arched back quivered as the sensation intensified, your mermaid tail igniting with an agonizing burn.

A cry tore through the water as your body convulsed in response to the excruciating transformation. Gasping, choking, your senses were overwhelmed, and your vision blurred with the turmoil of the shift. The familiar strength of your tail, the embodiment of your existence, was replaced by the searing unfamiliarity of two human legs.

Your body instinctively fought against this sudden change, and panic surged within you as your limbs flailed. Desperation drove you to attempt swimming with your new legs, but the sensation was foreign and awkward, and your efforts only seemed to drag you deeper into the water.

In your moment of struggle, Sigma and Atsushi sprang into action. Sigma's strong grip closed around your arms, his determination propelling you forward, while Atsushi positioned himself at your back, his presence urging you onward. Together, their support propelled you towards the surface, their combined efforts a lifeline in your disoriented state.

With a burst of effort, you erupted from the water's embrace, your hair splaying out in a watery arc before gravity tugged it back. The taste of air was a heady relief, even as coughs wracked your frame, water expelled from your lungs in violent bursts. The surface world stretched before you, both a new beginning and an unfamiliar challenge.

Your legs thrashed in the water as you tried to regain your bearings, your movements mirroring those of a newborn creature finding its footing. The disorientation tugged at you, leaving your body sinking slightly, but Sigma swiftly emerged from the water, extending his arms to offer you support. Clinging to him, you continued to cough, your throat burning from the water's intrusion.

Sigma and Atsushi were both panting, the exertion of their efforts evident in their labored breaths. Your body drained from the transformation and the struggle that followed, lay on a sun-soaked rock, your hair cascading like a curtain in front of your face. Weariness clung to you, your energy spent from the ordeal that had brought you to this new reality.

Gingerly brushing your hair away from your face, the fatigue momentarily taking a backseat to curiosity, you were met with an astonishing sight. Before you lay a pair of legs, an appendage you had only dreamed of possessing. Tentatively, you lifted one of the legs, wiggling your toes experimentally in the water. The surprise in your gaze mingled with the lingering exhaustion, but as the reality of the transformation settled in, a radiant smile bloomed on your lips.

As you explored the sensations of your legs, a voice, both familiar and teasing, cut through the air. Turning your head, your gaze met the figure of Dazai, who had arrived on the scene. His arrival was punctuated by his signature irreverence.

"Oh, look what the catfish dragged in! You look different," Dazai's playful quip rang out, his eyes dancing with mischief as he observed your transformed state. Your smile widened at the sound of his voice, your fatigue momentarily forgotten in the wake of his arrival. Dazai's presence had a way of lightening the mood.

"Wait, don't tell me, it's your hair, huh? You've been using the dinglehopper," Dazai's voice dripped with mock astonishment, his eyebrows raised in faux surprise, he rested his arms against your legs. His comment was so absurd that it drew an involuntary chuckle from you. Shaking your head in response, you couldn't help but be amused by Dazai's obliviousness.

"She got legs, you idiot," Sigma's frustrated exclamation cut through the playful atmosphere, his exasperation evident as he addressed the oblivious merman. Dazai, in response, feigned shock as he lifted his arms away from your legs, a comically exaggerated expression on his face.

Seizing the opportunity, you gingerly removed the strands of seaweed that had been playfully covering your feet, revealing your transformed legs. With a mixture of curiosity and determination, you slowly rose to your feet. The motion was met with a tremor that rippled through your legs, a reminder of their unfamiliarity.

"How many times have I told you that I don't like it when you call me names?" Dazai's tone carried a hint of annoyance as he addressed Sigma, his frustration palpable. He shot the merman a side glare, a clear signal of his displeasure. In response, Sigma huffed dismissively and rolled his eyes. You attempted to move, but your legs wavered beneath you, and the ground slipped from beneath your feet. The wobble turned into a stumble, and before you knew it, your legs gave way entirely, causing you to descend to the water with a thud.

"She's been turned into a human. She's gotta make the prince fall in love with him, and he's gotta kiss her," Atsushi explained, rolling his eyes at the ongoing bickering between Dazai and Sigma. Amid their chatter, you attempted to stand up once again but you struggled, your body was still adapting to the unfamiliar sensation of having legs.

"And she's only got three days. Just look at her. On legs! On human legs! My nerves are shot. This is a catastrophe! What would her father say? I'll tell you what her father will say—he's gonna kill himself a merman, that's what Fukuzawa will say!" Sigma's voice echoed with annoyance, his irritation palpable as he glared at Dazai. His annoyance was palpable as he glanced at you, concern for your well-being intermingled with his irritation.

"I'm gonna march myself straight home right now and tell him just like I should've done the minute…" Sigma's frustration was palpable, his voice trailing off as he turned to leave. But you acted swiftly, grabbing his arm and shaking your head vehemently to dissuade him.

"… and don't you shake your head at me, young lady," Sigma retorted his tone a mix of frustration and concern. He seemed torn, caught between his desire to protect you and his exasperation with the situation.

"Maybe there's still time. If we could get that demon to give you back your voice, you could go home with all the normal fish, and just be… just be…" Sigma's voice softened as he looked into your eyes, his gaze faltering when he saw the heartbroken expression on your face.

"… just be miserable for the rest of your life," Sigma sighed, his frustration evident as he buried his face in his hands. He let out a small exasperated click of his tongue before directing his gaze back toward you.

"All right, all right. I'll try to help you find that prince," Sigma relented, his annoyance giving way to reluctant determination. The spark of hope that ignited in your eyes was enough to soften his resolve, and as you hugged him, a small, genuine smile formed on his lips.

"What a soft fish I'm turning out to be," Sigma sighed, a wistful smile playing on his lips as he looked at you. His self-deprecating tone held a touch of humor and fondness for the situation he found himself in. He then felt a sudden splash of water, and his gaze snapped to Dazai with a glare, his frustration evident.

"Now, Belladonna, if you wanna be human, you gotta dress like one! Now come on," Dazai grinned mischievously, his tone filled with excitement. He grabbed a piece of cloth and some ropes, his gaze shifting towards you. Confusion clouded your expression as you watched him, uncertain about his intentions.

Chuuya strolled along the shoreline, his steps heavy with frustration, a flute held tightly in his hand. His expression was a canvas of vexation, mirroring the emotions swirling within him. Beside him, Albatross, suddenly exhibited a burst of energy, leaping and barking with fervor. The dog's insistent movements caught Chuuya's attention, prompting him to glance down.

"Whoa, what's got you all riled up, mutt?" Chuuya questioned his voice a mixture of curiosity and amusement. Albatross continued his animated display, gesturing and tugging at Chuuya, urging him to follow a path that led further away from the shoreline. With an amused chuckle, Chuuya relented to the canine's persistent insistence, surrendering to Albatross's determination.

"You look stunning, now that's what I call a siren," Dazai's voice rang out with a grin, accompanied by a wolf whistle that echoed through the air. Your attire was a drape artfully wrapped around your waist, the ensemble exuding an undeniable allure. Nearby, Atsushi's gaze scanned you from head to toe before he let out a resigned sigh.

Amid this moment, a familiar bark sliced through the air, drawing everyone's attention. The sound grew louder, accompanied by the rush of paws approaching rapidly.

Albatross dashed towards you, his excitement is evident as he closed the distance. Uncertain of what to expect, you instinctively sought refuge behind a nearby rock, attempting to shield yourself from the unknown. The dog's energetic arrival brought him close to you, and as he looked back in amazement, a sense of familiarity washed over you. Then, a voice—a voice you had heard before, repeating a scene from when you had first encountered him on that ship.

For a fleeting moment, your knees threatened to give way, yet, you steadied yourself, trying to regain your composure. And there, just as you had imagined, Chuuya appeared, reuniting with his beloved pet. His eyes, a mismatched pair of captivating hues, flicked up, meeting yours. A pause—an unmistakable moment of surprise—and the unspoken question hung in the air. Had he recognized you? The intensity of his gaze left you wondering.

"Are you okay?" Chuuya's concerned voice reached your ears as he approached you, his steps measured. Your gaze remained locked onto his face, and a rapid nod accompanied your smile, expressing both relief and reassurance. His answering grin was a small yet genuine one, a sign of his understanding and approval.

"I'm sorry if he scared you, he's harmless, just a bit hyperactive sometimes" Chuuya's voice reached you, laced with a chuckle. His attempt to alleviate any concerns regarding his exuberant canine companion was evident, his gaze subtly avoiding your eyes. In response, you dared to step a bit closer, your presence invoking a flicker of surprise on Chuuya's features. With a soft smile, you acknowledged him.

“Have I met you before? You seem very familiar to me,” Chuuya's question, uttered with a mix of puzzlement and intrigue, hung in the air. The sensation of recognition gnawed at him, leaving a lingering feeling that he just couldn't shake.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Chuuya's voice cut through the air, his gaze fixed on you with a sense of recognition. In response, you offered a subtle nod, a spark of familiarity mirrored in his smile. As his fingers intertwined with yours, a gentle warmth spread through your hand. Albatross nestled against Chuuya's leg, as he looked between you and his owner excitedly.

"We have! you're the one I've been looking for, What's your name?" Chuuya's grin was both welcoming and inquisitive, his eyes studying your features as if trying to unravel a memory. You opened your mouth to reply, eager to share your name, but to your surprise, no sound escaped your lips. Instead, you found yourself mouthing the words, your touch instinctively moving to your neck in a gesture that sought to convey the absence of your voice.

"What's wrong? What is it?" Chuuya's voice was a soft caress, his concern painted across his features as he regarded you with gentle eyes. In response to his inquiry, your hand instinctively moved to your throat, a silent indication that you were grappling with the inability to speak.

"You can't speak?" Chuuya's question hung in the air, a mixture of understanding and surprise lacing his tone. In reply, you nodded, your expression carrying a tinge of sadness. A sigh of frustration escaped Chuuya's lips but his soft gaze met your eyes.

"Then you couldn't be who I thought," Chuuya grumbled, your frustration evident as you blew your hair from your face. But then your smile returned, a glimmer of determination in your eyes. Leaning over the rock where you'd been sitting, your hands began crafting signs in the air.

“Your breath?” Chuuya's confusion was palpable, his brows knitting together. Swiftly, you made a dismissive gesture, reiterating your earlier signal, followed by a sweeping motion that simulated swimming.

“You need help?” Chuuya's question hung in the air, met with your increasingly animated movements. As your urgency grew, you leaned too far and nearly toppled over, but Chuuya's swift reflexes prevented your fall, a grunt escaping him as he caught you just in time.

“Woah, careful!” Chuuya's worry-laden voice cut through the air, and as his arms encircled you, your cheeks flushed with warmth. The sudden realization that you were now in his embrace caught you off guard, momentarily halting your movements as he helped lift you to your feet.

“You really must have been through something,” Chuuya's soft words brought you back to the present, his concern etched in his features. His reassuring smile provided a comforting anchor as you tuned into his presence.

“Don’t worry! I’ll help you,” Chuuya's declaration resounded with determination as you found your footing once more. With one arm draped over his shoulders, you leaned on him for support, acknowledging the trembling in your legs.

A grin played on your lips as you cast a glance over your shoulder, catching the signs of approval and smiles from Atsushi and Dazai while Sigma's panicked eyes watched your form. With Chuuya by your side, you began to walk, your legs trembling slightly but finding stability in his presence.

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻...

@yuugen-benni @k-l-a-w-s @sszolarr @littlemisslovesbarbie @earphonejack09 @celestair

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱 © 2023 𝗩𝘀𝗸𝗸𝗼𝗹𝘆𝗮𝗮. 𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺.

[onlyhereforpazzi]

HeartBeats: I know what your boy’s like

masterlist

Word count:488

Enjoy the beginning of this.

Warnings: 😡😡😡angst😡😡😡

Paige’s-2 years prior.

“Az?” 

“P.”

Her voice was a murmur in the dark of the room, the blonde stared at her best friend once upon a lifetime but now..

“What are you doing here?” 

Her dark skin was illuminated in the light from the hallway out of the room.

“Came to return something..” Azzi whispered out as if they weren’t alone. 

“Come in…” The blond suggested moving out of the way. Shoving her hands into the depths of her sweatpant pockets.

“I don’t need to..” The younger girl replied as she pushed the pink hoodie into the blonde's hands. “Have fun in LA..”

“Wait Az..” The blonde was too slow, but her tears were fast. She started after her once lover but now just another girl, maybe they would keep contact.

Paige’s-Present. “And another loss for the Sparks..” The commentator announced through the stadium.. “Don’t forget your garbage people!” ‘Garbage’ that's all Paige was seen as now a waste of talent.. Paige's thoughts were rudely interrupted by a too familiar voice. “Good game Bueckers..” The younger woman said, looking at Paige's back and the number 5 printed below her last name. “Yeah um thanks Fudd..” The whole reason Paige was looking forward to this game was right there in front of her but she wasn’t alone. “Paige meet Jonas..” The girl said, smiling up at the man she was with, he grinned back down at her. He must have been 6’ 2 ", maybe 6’ 3”.

“Azzi told me alot about you..” The man said his little bit of facial hair was moving. His lips look rough, nothing like Azzi’s soft pink pillows.. “Oh nice..” Paige replied, glancing over at Azzi, his hand was on the small of her back.. The way Paige used to.. Azzi smiled and he leaned down to peck her lips. “See you in a bit baby I will let you two catch up..” Jonas ran off without another word. “So..”

“So?”

“You like him?” The blonde ended the silence.

“Yeah I do, he is sweet..” Azzi replied, glancing at where he had gone.

“That is good, I am glad for you..” “Listen Azzi..” “I don’t need to hear it P. Your sorry’s aren’t needed anymore..”

“It was nice seeing you again.. See you around?” Paige went in for a hug but was rejected when Azzi’s hand shot up for a shake. “Yup see you around.” That night was not fun for Paige ending up in her bed alone and slightly tipsy after a few shots to numb her pain. Her phone buzzed a few times before she picked it up and scrolled through Instagram, as expected her feed was full of Azzi and the game. That was one thing she disliked about being a basketball player; she had to face social media. She scrolled through Azzi’s account for a bit before calling it a night. But now she knew what her boy was like.

Author: Please comment suggestions!

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Perhaps maybe a little something with Aemond inspired by the song Sucker by the Jonas Brothers?

Can be smut or not

👉👈😳 maybe possibly if that's okay

Warnings: Angst, mutual pining. Word count: ~900

“A toast!” Aegon shouts for what feels like the hundredth time that evening, draining the contents of his wine goblet in a single swallow.

She follows suit, wincing as the ruby liquid burns her throat. Her head is starting to swim from the effects of the alcohol, she is not used to drinking quite so much in such a short space of time.

Surprisingly, Aemond is keeping pace with the pair of them. He normally refrains from imbibing altogether. He is keeping his composure so well that she cannot tell if he feels as thoroughly soused as she does.

“To your final night of freedom!” Aegon jeers at Aemond, slopping wine across the dining table as he moves to refill both their goblets.

Her face falls as she remembers the exact reason why they’re sitting drinking together in the first place. Aemond is getting married tomorrow.

She had been a ward of House Targaryen since she was eight years old. Not possessing the interests that were typical of a highborn lady, she had gravitated towards Aegon and Aemond. She had enjoyed watching them spar. She even learned to wield a sword herself under their instruction, when Ser Criston Cole wasn’t around to fret that it was too dangerous an undertaking for a lady.

Aemond had shared his books with her, and she’d accompanied him on his many visits to the dragonpit as he’d admired the beasts that dwelled there, longing for one of his own. She had always taken Aemond’s side throughout Aegon, Jace and Luke’s relentless teasing. She’d shared in Aemond’s devastation when he’d lost his eye at Luke’s hand.

He was her best friend. She had never considered it anything more than that as the years had passed, until Alicent and Otto had broken the news that Aemond was to be betrothed to a Baratheon girl.

She had felt her heart shatter, all the air leaving her lungs. She was going to lose him when she was only just realising she was in love with him.

She had buried her feelings, gritted her teeth and learned to bear it as the pretty dark haired girl had visited the Red Keep over the course of the year-long courtship. 

Things between her and Aemond had remained unchanged and for that she was grateful. She had assumed that now he was to be married he would pull away from her, but he continued to spend every spare moment with her. It was bittersweet torture.

Now it is the eve of the wedding and Aegon is determined to send his younger brother off in style, or at least ensure he exchanges his vows on the morrow with a sore head.

She places a hand over her wine goblet as Aegon attempts to refill it. “I have had enough, I think.” She says. “I need some air.”

She draws in a steadying breath as the cool night breeze hits her flushed skin as she steps out into the gardens. Leaning against a wall, she looks up at the stars, gathering her thoughts. I just need to get through tomorrow…and then what? Learn to live a lifetime without the person who has your heart and is completely unaware of it.

“Are you alright?”

Aemond’s voice startles her and her eyes flit down to look at him. There is a slight sway in how he is standing and a small smile tugs at her lips as she realises he is every bit as drunk as she is.

“Too much wine.” She half lies, ignoring the way her heart flutters as he draws near.

“Mmm.” He reaches up a hand to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I wish it was you.”

The way his voice slurs slightly does nothing to dilute the shock of his words, or the gooseflesh that prickles her skin at the feel of his touch.

“W-what?” She stammers, eyes wide and pulse racing.

Aemond closes his eye, his nostrils flaring as he takes in a deep breath, before placing the flat of his palm on the wall beside her head and looking down at her.

“You.” He utters. “I should be marrying you.”

Her heart feels as though it has leapt into her throat. She cannot get enough air into her lungs as she stares up at him, wide eyed. “You are in your cups, Aemond, you do not mean that.”

He shakes his head, bringing the hand that is pressed against the wall behind her down to caress her cheek. “I do. The wine has simply given me the courage to say out loud what I have always felt. Tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

Her eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his warm palm against her cheek. “I can’t.” She whispers, opening her eyes to gaze at him sadly. “But it does not matter. You are marrying someone else tomorrow.”

“We still have tonight.” Aemond offers, leaning close to her, his lips mere inches from her own. “I would rather have a single night with you than a lifetime of not knowing how it feels to be loved by you.”

She says nothing as Aemond closes the gap between them, kissing her hungrily. She melts into the embrace, returning his passion with equal fervour. This time when she tastes wine it is upon his mouth and she does not wince. Nothing has ever tasted so delicious.

Read on AO3

More Aemond fics

[wososcripts]

Tell Me of Your Grief

Stina Blackstenius x Reader

Summary: The fourteenth of March brings back some rather difficult memories, and you don't always make the healthiest decisions. Stina intervenes.

Word count: 4.4k

A/N: sorry it's been a while, I've started uni again which means my writing is somewhat slower! With some luck I'll be able to get things up once a week? But that remains to be seen... I promise this is hurt/comfort and not just pain btw.

Warnings ⚠️: discussion of death, self harm behaviors (mild), angst angst angst

------------------------------------

You woke up that morning to a text from Jonas saying you didn’t have to come to training. 

It felt weak to admit it, but part of you was relieved. You knew Katie must’ve talked to him, which was mortifying if you let yourself think about it too much, but she knew you needed this day to yourself. 

It was the anniversary of your best friend’s passing—five years in the making. You hadn’t told many of your teammates what happened, or why you became so withdrawn and somber the week around the 14th of March. It was too difficult to explain. All of the dramatics that surrounded the event, the pain, what you had done wrong, what she had too, it was all still too delicate for eyes you didn’t completely trust. 

You hadn’t even told your girlfriend Stina yet. You’d meant to, really, you had, but the days slipped by and there never seemed like a good time to do it. You knew it would ruin any good mood you were in, and honestly you enjoyed having Stina as your respite when the rest of the world seemed to be knocking against your skull. But it felt wrong that she didn’t know. It felt as though you were hiding something from her, even if it wasn’t intentional.

“Hi baby, I’m not feeling well today so I won’t be at practice. Don’t worry your head when I’m not there. It’s nothing too serious, though, so I’ll be back tomorrow.” You spoke into your phone, recording a voice note to send to her so she wouldn’t be left in the dark about where you were. 

Stina was a worrier, something you yourself could understand, so you always made the effort to let her know if you were running late or not going to something. Otherwise you’d inevitably get a call with her anxious voice on the other line. 

It was early, too early for even Stina to be up. The sun had barely begun cresting over the horizon, casting a slight glow to everything. You wanted to go back to sleep, particularly since you hadn't slept all that well to begin with. Your back hurt from being tensed all night as you were plagued with anxious dreams. On your palms were the remnants of nail indentations—some of them bloody from how hard you had been pressing.

You turned on a podcast and closed your eyes, hoping the sound of human voices would lull you to sleep. It must've worked for a little while, because the next time you opened your eyes it was truly morning, and the podcast had switched to another episode. 

The dreams had continued, unsurprisingly considering your waking mental state, and the extra hour of sleep you might be able to get if you closed your eyes wasn't worth it. So you got out of bed, throwing on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt to go for a run. 

You weren't typically a runner—in fact you were practically ethically against doing it as a hobby—but it was useful for clearing your head. And with no training today, it would feel good to get out for at least a little while. So you blasted your music and took off into the streets of London, completely lost in your own world. Nobody spoke to you, nobody looked at you. 

By the time you had finished, you were sweaty, red-faced, and exhausted. The endorphins began to flood your system as you stripped and started the shower. You turned it almost as high as it could go, hoping for the burn against your skin. You hissed, stepping under the spray, and tears sprung to your eyes. Your skin immediately began to redden. But you didn’t move to lower the heat, instead grabbing your shampoo, gritting your teeth, and bearing it. 

—

“Morning, Blackstenius.” Beth called, clapping her on the back soundly as she wandered into the locker room. 

Stina expected to find you there, sitting by your locker getting changed into your kit and reading your book as you always did, each morning. But you weren’t there. Your locker hadn’t even been touched. She furrowed her brow, then remembered that you had sent her a message earlier. Maybe you had asked her for a ride and she hadn’t seen? Maybe you were going to be late today? Maybe you had some kind of appointment you’d forgotten about until the last minute��you were notorious for that. 

“Morning,” Katie said, sitting down next to Stina on the bench and pulling her kit out of her bag. 

“Morning, Katie.” She replied, opening her phone to look at her message. 

She brought the phone to her ear, confusion and concern filling her chest as she listened to your voice. Though your words weren’t all that worrying, she could hear in your voice that things weren’t right. 

“How’s she doing?” Katie asked, having heard your voice coming from the phone. Her voice was cautious, something unusual for the Irish captain.

“Did you know she wouldn’t be here today?” Stina asked, confused as to why Katie seemed to be clued in to your mood before her. Maybe you had sent her a similar message? She was your best friend, after all. The two of you made a ridiculous pair—her loud and aggressive, you nearly silent and composed—but you’d known each other longer than anyone else on the team, and everyone knew Katie would do practically anything for you. 

Katie was quiet, glancing around at the other girls in the room. Now Stina was worried. Even though you had told her not to be, that it wasn’t anything serious, she couldn’t help it now that Katie was acting so strangely. 

Once it was just Stina and Katie in the locker room, Katie answered her question. 

“Listen, it isn’t my place to tell you anything. You know how private she is…” Katie sighed, rubbing her temples. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell you, probably didn’t want to worry you, the idiot,” she mumbled under her breath to an increasingly concerned Stina. 

“Katie.” Stina said firmly, “What the fuck is going on?” 

She wasn’t usually one to swear. But where you were concerned, the possibility that you were hurting, and had hidden it from her, that warranted much more than cursing. 

“Today is difficult for her, very difficult. That’s all I feel comfortable saying. But if you want to go, Jonas is going to understand.” 

Stina’s heart was in her stomach. Images flashed through her mind, a thousand different horrible things this could mean. 

"Difficult?" She questioned, "Katie, is she safe? Do I have to be prepared for—"

"It's not like that, she isn't in physical danger." 

The answer wasn't reassuring to Stina, who now felt a little ill at the thought of you home alone today. She should be there with you. Someone should be there, if you didn't want her (God, she hoped you wanted her, trusted her). The urge to press more information out of Katie was strong, but Stina held herself back. Katie was right—you needed to tell Stina yourself. Otherwise any insight into your head would be forced entry, a violation of the trust you had both with Katie and with her.

So Stina simply nodded and looked back at her phone to reply to your message. 

Okay, I hope you're feeling all right. Can I swing by later and bring you something? I'd love to see you <3

She wanted to give you an option to say no to her visit—though she would prefer to just go over there now. At least now if you didn't answer before she showed up she could say she had reached out.

—

You waited until the water ran cold to get out of the shower. Your skin was raw to the touch, and still a subtle red color after you had dried yourself off and began braiding your hair. You could hardly stand to look at yourself.  

You threw on the only clothes you could stand on your skin—a pair of soft sweatpants and fuzzy socks—along with Stina's old Häcken hoodie she left at your place a few days ago. It smelled of her which comforted you even if she wasn't here. 

Your phone dinged with a message. Upon opening it, you saw Stina and Katie had messaged, and that you had two missed calls. 

"Eat something." Was all your message from Katie said. 

She knew you, and knew you wouldn't want to eat today. But you had to.

You went to open Stina's text when your phone lit up with another incoming call. It was from Sandra, the mother of your friend. She did this every year, and every year you told yourself you wouldn't pick up. It wasn't healthy for either of you—it reopened wounds that were barely scabbing over as it was. She inevitably cried, and asked why you had left her daughter alone that night, and you bit your lip raw trying to keep quiet and apologize.

But even though you knew the script, you picked up the phone. 

"Hi," you said, your voice noticeably smaller.

You heard a sigh of relief on the other end.

"How are you, Sandra?" You continued, your fingers picking at your lip anxiously. You felt it start to bleed and did nothing.

"Are you still in Limerick?" You continued your flood of questions, waiting for her onslaught to begin.

A few minutes later, once you were on your tenth question and you'd switched from your lip to pressing your nails into your bloodied palm, you heard her begin to cry.

You weren't sure how you managed this every year. Memories of the funeral flashed behind your eyes, and how you hadn't been allowed to stand near the front with the rest of the friends and family. How Sandra had wailed, and smacked you across the face in the parking lot. You stared at your kitchen backsplash and just listened.

"Why, why did you do it?" She cried, and you bit the inside of your cheek.

"I'm sorry." You whispered. 

"You left her alone, you killed her, you always brought her home expect that one fucking night and look what happened. It should've been you, it should've been you, you don't deserve this—" 

And so it continued. Tears streamed down your face as your brain began to shut down as a defense mechanism. You just felt numb. Nobody else existed in the world except for you and this woman whose life you had ruined. No Katie, No Stina, Nobody that gave you their love and wanted you here. You didn't deserve what you had, not your success where it should've been your friend's, not your team, not your girlfriend. You were an imposter on this planet, a thief.

—

It turned out that going over to your place wasn't as simple as it seemed. Stina tried asking Jonas if she could be excused from practice, but he insisted that she stay just for an hour. Arsenal had a match with the Spurs in four days and Jonas wanted to go over strategies with the forwards. No skipping. 

So Stina stayed—looking at her phone every thirty seconds for a text from you. There was nothing, and it freaked her out even more.

Whatever Jonas was saying, none of it was registering. She would ride the bench if she had to, it didn't matter to her now. Her leg bounced nervously, and Viv looked at her with concern on her face every couple of minutes. When Jonas went outside to take a quick call, she turned to Stina and immediately asked after her.

"What's wrong, is it something with Odi?" 

Stina nodded, her tight lipped expression telling Viv all she needed to know. She gave Stina a look of sympathy and glanced at her watch, clearly wondering when the meeting would be over as well.

"Odi, something's wrong with her?" Beth butted in unabashedly.

You'd gotten the nickname for a few reasons: you'd danced for years as a child as a ballerina, which showed in your play. You were showy, and graceful, not the aggressive type. Like a swan, someone had once said to you—and the swan lake association stuck: Odette, or Odi for short. Arsenal's dancer.

Jonas re-entered the room before Beth could ask any more questions, saving Stina the struggle.

"For Christ's sake, let the poor girl go," Beth called out as Stina checked her phone for the hundredth time.

Jonas sent a look Beth's way, but decided to be merciful.

"Alright, Blackstenius, you're excused. But I'll be seeing you tomorrow."

Stina practically ran back to the locker room, throwing her kit into her bag and getting changed as fast as she could. A steady sense of dread was building in her. She decided to call you as she left the training grounds and walked to her car, hoping she could catch you and tell you she was coming. It would soothe her mind just to hear your voice.

But instead of your voice on the other end, Stina was met with the busy signal. That confused her even more—you weren't a fan of phone calls necessarily, and she knew your parents would be working now, so it was unlikely they would have called you.

She tried once more, hoping she had just happened to catch you at the tail end of a call, but you still didn't answer.

—

You had barely hung up the phone with Sandra before the tears began to pour from your eyes. It was as though time had made no difference and you were hearing of your friend's death for the first time. All the pain, all the self loathing that had fallen down upon you then still crushed your shoulders with its weight.

Your phone dinged again—a message from Katie.

Respond to me or I'm coming over there myself.

You didn't want Katie here. She had been there in years past, and for her to see you no better despite the time and therapy you put in, well you couldn't handle the shame.

I'm alive and well - see you tomorrow at training

You replied, knowing if you told her you were fine and left it at that she might kill you herself. 

You giggled at the thought of her huffing and puffing at you, demanding you take better care of yourself like a surrogate mother. When your mother wasn’t around, Katie did a damn good impression of her. You never got away with anything if Katie had a say. You laughed through your tears, feeling like every nerve of yours was on a razor's edge. 

A knock at the door barely registered in your mind as you wandered over to the couch, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and waste away for the next twelve hours. Your head was beginning to hurt from all the crying, which only soured your mood further. For the first time you had the thought: I don't want to be alone.

You thought it must’ve been a hallucination, the way Stina appeared in front of you. 

—

Stina wasn’t sure what to expect when she knocked on the door of your apartment. She had spent the entire drive over worrying about how she could find you, partially cursing Katie for giving her just enough info to get her mind going in a million unhelpful directions. The fact that you weren’t texting her back hadn’t helped either. The road before her blurred as she drove without thinking, her body getting her to your apartment building on instinct. 

The elevator dinged at each floor and with it her heartbeat increased. 

When you didn’t answer the door it dropped. 

“Hello?” Stina called out, having opened the door with the spare key you had given her a few months ago. She cursed herself for not staying with you last night when you looked so weighed down, so tired. She’d let you convince her you were fine—something she wouldn’t do again anytime soon.  

When she turned the corner from your kitchen into the open space of your living room she spotted you. There you were, curled up on the couch in a small ball, silent. 

“Did you hear me knock?” She asked softly, approaching you.

You didn’t reply, didn’t even look at her. 

She slowly reached out a hand to place it on your head gently, when you turned and looked at her. It frightened her—the look in your eyes. She hadn’t ever seen them so empty. 

“Stina?” you whispered, confusion present in your tone. 

“Yes, min kärlek, jag är här.”

She put a hand softly on your face, cupping your cheek.

“You’re really here?” 

There were tears beginning to gather in your already red eyes. Stina felt her throat constrict. You’d been crying, clearly a lot by how swollen your face was. 

Stina pulled you up and into her arms easily, shifting you so she could sit on the couch with you in her lap. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked gently, remembering that you had said once that hearing her speak her native Swedish calmed you down. 

You wiped your eyes, lip still trembling slightly. 

“Did Katie say something? Or Jonas?” 

Stina wiped your cheeks with the pad of her thumb, brow creased with worry. 

“Katie said today was hard for you, that’s it. Promise.” 

You went silent, thinking. 

“I was going to tell you. I promise, I meant to. But it just never seemed like a good time, or I just wanted to avoid it as long as possible…you see, Katie met me not long after it happened, she was there, it’s different. I didn’t trust her with this and not you on purpose. She can’t help but know.” You shifted off of Stina’s lap, curling in on yourself next to her so your skin wasn’t touching.

“I hate myself for it. I do, really. And every time I tell someone, they might hate me too, I know that. And I just couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t give you the chance to hate me.”

Stina put a hand on your shoulder, biting her lip to contain a small sob when you flinched away from her. It was as if you weren’t even there in front of her. All of the grace and kindness and light that had been there just a few days ago seemed to have been swallowed by darkness. To hear you say the words ‘I hate myself’? Stina could cry at the thought of it. Those were words that should never come from your mouth. It was like a knife in her ribcage. 

“Min söta… älskling”

“Don’t call me that,” you sobbed, putting your hands over your eyes and hiding your face from her. 

"Snälla, låt mig hjälpa dig, please, I want to help.” 

You shook your head, face still obscured from Stina’s view. 

This was horrible. Stina felt as though she’d eaten something rotten the way her stomach churned. She was helpless, completely in the dark. Here she was, the person who was supposed to take care of you and love you, and she could hardly do anything. All she could think to do as you cried quietly was pull you into her side and rock you slowly. A melody popped into her head—one her mother had sang to her as a child when she was ill. 

Stina softly sang, trying not to feel embarrassed by her voice. You were beginning to calm, your hands dropping from your face to her shirt, holding it close. By the time she was finished, the room was quiet, empty of your cries. You were clinging to her, your face buried in the crook of her neck as if you were ashamed of the comfort you needed. 

“What was that song?” you asked, voice hoarse. 

“It’s a lullaby. I can’t remember the name.” 

Stina felt you nod against her skin. 

She opted not to say anything further. You were exhausted, she could tell. Anything you wanted to say, you needed to volunteer. 

After a few moments, she felt your grip on her shirt tighten. 

“When I was nineteen, my best friend died.” 

Whatever Stina had been expecting to come out of your mouth, that wasn’t it. She sucked in a breath, trying to remain unaffected. You needed her strength. 

“We had been friends for years, since we were kids. And we’d gotten in this huge fight over something… uni I think. I had an offer to play professionally. I had been drinking, so had she. And I always walked her home, always, when she had been drinking. The way to her house was a bit sketchy, you know? So I figured two people were better than one if anything happened. But the things she said to me that night… I’d never been so upset in my life.” 

You took a breath, 

“So I refused to walk her. She didn’t press, just turned up her nose and walked away, didn’t even say goodbye. And I waited for my bus. The next morning I get a call from her mum—she’s been killed.”

Stina could barely trust herself to breathe. 

“I let it happen, I’m the reason she died.” 

“No—” Stina began, but you cut her off. 

“When they held the funeral, I wasn’t allowed to say anything. I wasn’t allowed anywhere but the very back of the church, because they all knew it was my fault. And still, they know it, they remind me of what happened, what I’ve done. I stole her life!” 

“Stop!” Stina demanded, her face flushed with anger. You were taken aback by her passion, and quieted. “You did not steal anything, you didn’t kill her, it isn’t your fault!” She grabbed your hand as you pulled back from her. 

“You lost your best friend in such a horrible way, and nobody checked in? Nobody held you?” 

You opened your mouth to speak, but this time Stina silenced you.

“I want you to tell me what you mean by ‘they remind you’ of what happened.” 

You refused to meet her eyes. 

“It’s not good. Not for me or her… she calls me, my friend’s mom, to talk.” You hesitated, but explained the routine to your girlfriend when she fixed you with a look. 

“That’s…” Stina seemed at a loss for words, “you are the strongest person I know. And you rake yourself across hot coals for a crime that isn’t even yours. For a woman who wants to see you suffer, who can’t accept your healing. That isn’t right. You did not kill her. That is someone else’s burden to carry.” 

You burst into tears again. 

—

You must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because the next time you wake up you’re in bed, and Stina is wrapped protectively around you. Her warmth encases you; she holds you more protectively than usual, her arms shielding you from the world. 

Eventually the two of you get back up, though not before Stina wraps you in a crushing embrace and lets you know she’s staying for a couple of days. No negotiating. 

She makes dinner, you clean. It’s the first time you’ve eaten all day, and you think she can tell by the way she watches you intently. You feel cared for, and it’s a little overwhelming. Stina doesn’t let you out of her sight save a few trips to the bathroom and one brief call from her sister that she has to take.

You didn’t expect things to shake her up so much. 

She helps you clean the wounds on your palms, grimacing at the sight of them once you unfurl your fingers for her. You try to tell her you can deal with them yourself—especially with how much it seems to upset her—but she isn't having it. You see her set her brow and concentrate on cleaning and bandaging the damaged skin, tears only glazing her eyes as you hiss in pain. 

Eventually you convince her that you're fine enough to settle down on the couch and watch a movie. She insists on having you in her lap—something that you find equally as comforting. Stina isn't typically all that tactile, but now each moment apart from you seems to worry her.

You're about halfway into the film and slowly drifting off into her chest when you feel her whisper something into your skin. You think she assumes you're asleep (and you nearly are) but you make out her voice slightly.

"Tack Gud att du är här." She repeats it, and soon you can feel the drops of her tears hitting your shoulder. 

"Stina…" you whisper, repositioning yourself to face her.

"förlåt" she says, wiping her eyes.

"You don't have to be sorry… It was an intense day." You press a kiss to her cheek.

"I was so worried," Stina starts, and you figure it's best not to interrupt her, "when Katie said that you might be struggling, I couldn't think of anything else. You can't hurt yourself anymore, please." Stina takes your bandaged hand.

"If you were gone one day, I don't know how I'd cope." 

"You don't have to worry about that, ever."

"You are the most important thing in my life." Stina's lip trembles, and you wonder how you're managing to keep it together.

You pull her into another kiss, lips sore from how you had abused them earlier. The pain reminds you of the struggle of the day, but Stina's hand holds the depths in front of you at bay.

"I'll always be here." She promises.

You begin to think of something lighter. Of an ounce of forgiveness. Of a year that does not revolve around the rising and setting of the sun on this one day. A moment of peace afforded to yourself. The thought passes your mind—you do not deserve this. You instead think of love.

[mickeyswhore]

Welcome!

This is my brand new side blog, so please if you enjoy the vibes follow me!

Fandoms I can write for:

SCREAM FRANCHISE

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

Mickey Altieri

SLASHERS:

Thomas Hewitt

Michael Meyers

Brahms Heelshire

Bo Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Asa Emory (The Collector)

Patrick Bateman

CILLIAN MURPHY VERSE:

Jackson Rippner

Lenny Miller

Michael McCrea

Raymond Leon

Neil Lewis

Robert Fischer

Mike Kiernan

Shivering Soldier (Inception)

Damien O'Donovan

Thomas "Tom" Buckley

Thomas Shelby

THE BOYS:

Billy Butcher

Homelander

Soldier Boy

Hughie Campbell

THE WALKING DEAD:

Rick Grimes

Daryl Dixon

Negan Smith

MARVEL:

Steve Rogers

Bucky Barnes

Thor Odinson

Tony Stark

AUGUST DIEHL VERSE

Dieter Hellstrom (Inglorious Basterds)

Franz Sauer (Munich - The Edge of War)

Mike Krause (Salt)

Alex de Klerks (The Last Vermeer)

Moritz de Vries (Parfum)

Jam Kremfeld (Furia)

JANNIS NIEWÖHNER

Paul von Hartmann (Munich - The Edge of War)

Karl (Je Suis Karl)

DUNE

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen

Paul Atreides

Gurney Halleck

LUCA MARINELLI VERSE

Primo Nizzuto (Trust FX)

Mickey Miranda (A Dangerous Fortune)

Diabolik

LOUIS HOFFMANN

Jonas Kahnwald (Dark)

Werner Pfennig (All the Light We Cannot See)

Ulrich Haussmann (Masters of the Air)

SONS OF ANARCHY

Jax Teller

Opie Winston

Chibs Telford

Juice Ortiz

Tig Trager

RULES:

What I will not write:

Threesomes (I simply suck at it AND not my cup of tea)

Anything involving minors (such as x daughter!Reader)

Complete angst (Please, we need to have some hope even if it's not a happy ending)

[dragneto]

Series Title: this old house, quite the keeper Fandom: Dark (2017) Pairing(s): Jonas Kahnwald/Noah | Hanno Tauber Series Word Count: 26,749 Series Rating: Mature Series Tags: Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Depression, Devotion, Pining, Getting Together, First Kiss/First Time

Series Summary: After their unorthodox reunion in the Kahnwald attic room, Jonas and Noah begin to meet more frequently at the old house than either ever anticipated, and slowly attempt to unravel the mystery of the other.

read to be alone on AO3 | read to be restored on AO3

[momobani]

Groundhog Day

THE WAY I hate YOU - chapter 5 - 10.9k

&team Nicholas x fem!reader - arranged marriage AU

SERIES MASTERLIST

Sum: the one where even coffee can’t save you. 

Warnings: swearing, sarcasm, a smidge of angst, mention of hospitals, implication of dysfunctional families, mention of wanting/not wanting kids, mention of food and alcohol, very suggestive stuff (smut separate chapter), mention of sex 

Soundtrack rec: Close - Nick Jonas, Tove Lo

Taglist: @nichoswag @seokka0o @sseastar-main @hyuckslvr @ssshasssh @wtfisgoingright 

A/N: please excuse the months of radio silence, sorry this took an age but i had to let this one cook properly, also life won’t leave me alone lol, it’s been hard lately, but hopefully this will get back on track at least a little <3

okayyy so there’s a bit of a formatting situation that needs explaining: basically the smut will be in a separate post linked within the chapter so that minors can just not interact with it and also the chapter doesn’t become 30k or some shit

You should have expected it really, at this point. 

You should have known you would be running late. Well, not you specifically, but your husband. 

“I told you to be ready by 2pm so we could leave.” you remind him as he runs around frantically, shirt still unbuttoned while he does his belt, toothbrush in mouth as he searches for a tie. 

You lean on the doorway and roll your eyes when he waves a hand dismissively in your direction. 

You decide you need to intervene.

“Go back to the bathroom, I’ll get you a tie.” you usher him away from his closet. He hums something that sounds like a protest but obliges and disappears.

You puff out your cheeks in thought, scanning the options Nicholas had laid out in the drawer of his closet. 

If you were your fashion diva husband, what would you do? 

He was wearing a light blue button up and black slacks, which were very simple, so the tie should bring something to the outfit. Your hand hovers over a silver tie with a tiny squares but settles over a dark blue paisley one instead. 

It would look better with his suit jacket, you think as you pluck your selection from its little cubby hole. 

You find Nicholas in the bathroom, toothbrush put back neatly in the little boba cup you used for both yours and his. He’s buttoned up the bottom three buttons but started focusing on his hair as if he just couldn’t settle on one thing to fix at a time. 

“Step back.” you say, squeezing in between the sink and Nicholas so he can keep doing his hair while you work on his shirt. He glances at you as if questioning if you really wanted to do this but you ignore him. 

You finish his buttons first, fingers nimbly popping the buttons through the holes while still holding the tie in one hand. Next, you reach up and pop Nicholas’ collar, threading the tie around his neck and bringing one end down the opposite side. 

Your hands move without effort, looping the tie into a knot and tugging it tighter so it goes into place. You notice Nicholas hasn’t put on cologne yet because he smells neutrally clean like the soap in your shower. You also notice that he’s finished doing his hair and is just looking at you as you work his tie. You stare determinedly at the tie and not up at him but you feel his eyes burning a hole through you. 

Nosy, you think. 

You leave the last bit for him to adjust and step away. 

“Thanks.” he says, tightening it accordingly. “How do you know how to tie a tie?” he asks, genuinely curious. 

You were about to walk out of the bathroom after inspecting your lipstick in the mirror but his question catches your attention. You look at him for a moment.

“Who do you think did Maki’s until he learned to do it himself?” you say before walking out. 

The thought sends you back suddenly. You remembered when you were a teenager and Maki was starting middle school, he had a uniform with a tie. Instead of going to your parents or the nanny that would sometimes take you to and from school, your tiny bean of a brother came to you, holding out his tie with a pout.

So of course you looked up how to tie a tie on the computer that sat in the living room, following the instructions on a Sunday afternoon as the sun set behind you. You practiced a million times, trying to get it perfect so Maki wouldn’t get laughed at by the other kids, that you were sure you could tie a tie in your sleep even to this day. 

You just hadn’t done it in years, but being married to Nicholas meant doing all sorts of things. 

Like running amber lights. 

You’re driving instead of him toward the charity event your companies were participating in, and you just want to make it on time. Your parents had already started asking if you were there yet, your mother especially blowing up your phone. You tell Nicholas to turn it on silent, discarding it to the depths of your bag. He obeys, popping it in swiftly. 

You’re almost there, mostly because you did run a couple of amber lights, and also took a shortcut through some small streets. 

“We should be careful when we get there, a lot of people will be looking at us.” you say. You’d been thinking about how to bring it up, the fact that due to the nature of a public event like that, you needed to be on your best ‘married’ behaviour. 

“Okay, Code Vermin it is.” Nicholas agrees. “Though, I doubt anyone will care about us, it’s a big event.” 

“Regardless, I don’t want to give my parents any reason to lecture me.”

“Got it.” 

When you arrive, you hand over your car to a valet (a charity event with valet parking? lifestyles of the rich and famous much? you could never reconcile the way that rich people did charity work while flaunting off their own wealth, but it didn’t matter since you were one of those rich people and you had to participate in the lunacy; leaving it would mean blowing up your entire life if you were honest) and make your way in, your arm casually draped around Nicholas’ own. 

As you walk into the venue, the parade of familiar faces begins. You switch into polite greeting mode and walk by, smiling and nodding and making small talk with whoever stopped you. 

The cause of today’s charity event was funding and equipping the new children’s hospital in your city. Since your companies largely dealt with pharmaceuticals and medical equipment, you were key figures in the very fabric of the event. 

Your mother spots you from fifty feet away and laser beams you in the back of the head until you feel something irking you and finally turn around to see her practically glaring at you and Nicholas.  

You automatically tug on his arm slightly to get his attention as he finishes chatting with some senior director of the hosting charity itself. You excuse yourselves and you steer Nicholas in the direction of your mother. 

“Get ready; the wolves are hungry today.” you mutter, smiling at some people you passed by. 

“About time, YN!” your mother hisses immediately when you’re within earshot. She switches her demeanour when she turns to greet Nicholas, smiling fondly at him. “Hello, Nicholas. Lovely to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too, Mrs L/N.” Nicholas says smoothly, extending his best son-in-law greeting smile.

“I was just wondering, when are your parents coming?” she continues as if you’re just an ornament or part of his outfit. You had to admit, you were a little grateful she liked him more because it meant he would take most of the heat today, although it made you feel guilty toward him too.

“They should be here soon, I can call to check if they’re okay?” Nicholas offers politely. Your mother shakes her head gently. 

“Don’t worry about it at all, dear, no need to bother them. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.” the response gives you whiplash but there’s truly no space in your heart for surprise because of course she wouldn’t mind your in-laws being late; everyone else got a free pass, but you, you were the bane of that woman’s existence as far as you were concerned. “Well, I’ll let you two go, the auction will be starting soon, so get some good seats if you can.” your mother says. 

“Auction?” you ask. This was the first time you’re hearing about an auction, though it was probably because you’d filtered everything you knew about this event out of your mind in order to stay focused on your work load. 

“Yes, YN, there’s an auction of art pieces, which will be one of the sources of donation. Please pay attention, hmm?” she smiles tightly at you and you feel a smile spread across your own face. It was ironic but it came naturally, the bitterness just about disguised in its artificiality. 

“Yes, Mom. We’ll get good seats.” you say. “Enjoy the event.” 

It was the automatic good-daughter-response that had been pre-programmed into your microchip since the matrix decided you had to be born into this family out of all the other families. 

Your mother seems satisfied and steps away to make conversation with someone else while you and Nicholas slowly make your way through the large hall and find the seating area set up for the auction. 

“You need me to oil your hinges, Ex-Machina?” Nicholas asks sarcastically, leaning his mouth closer to your ear, as you register into the auction and are handed a numbered paddle by the clerk. 

“No, that’s quite alright, dear.” you raise your eyebrow for emphasis. Nicholas rolls his eyes.

“Pardon my mistake; that was clearly Stepford Wives but make it ‘daughter’.” he says but still holds out his arm and you stroll to your seats in a manner that cannot be described otherwise than ‘nicely’. 

“And you married into the dysfunctionality.” you remind him. “Godspeed.” you add. 

In a few minutes, the event begins, most people finding their seats but a few stragglers sitting down just as the auctioneer stepped up to the podium. 

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to today’s main event.” the man begins. He’s wearing a clearly uncomfortable tux and a pair of those Mickey Mouse type of white gloves, even though clearly he’s not the one handling any of the pieces. “If I may introduce the first piece we shall be showing today…” and that’s when your brain hits the snooze button and you tune the world out.

You sit silently and listen to the numbers that are being called out as each painting, photograph print or sculpture is bought out. It’s mostly modern art from somewhat local artists but the calibre is higher than you expected. It all goes by very quickly, you think. You stare blankly, in a somewhat dissociative state until one of the final pieces is brought out.

It’s a photographic print of the silhouettes of what looks like two parents and a child between them, holding each of their hands as they walk away somewhere, presumably into the proverbial sunset. You hadn’t raised your paddle once yet since there was nothing you really wanted but something about the photo makes you reconsider. 

You think how ridiculous it would be bid on it since you had nowhere to put it at your apartment, so you don’t react. 

“I like this one.” Nicholas whispers to your left. You’re snapped back to reality. You’d almost forgotten he was sitting there since you’d both been so quiet the whole time. “We should get it, it’s cute.” he continues. 

“Is it?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he turns to you briefly. “it reminds me of my parents and I. Whenever we spent time together, I mean. Which wasn’t much, but still.” he shrugs.  

You let his words sink in. 

The auctioneer is done explaining the origin of the photo by way of introducing the photographer. The photograph is named ‘Another Place’ and you suddenly understand what you were feeling. 

Just as the auctioneer starts the bidding, you feel Nicholas wrap his hand around yours and raise it as you hold on to the paddle. You’re a tiny bit startled since you weren’t thinking about the object in your hand at all and you didn’t actually think that Nicholas would bid on anything. You look at him momentarily but he keeps facing forward, focused. 

It’s strange.

You don’t think to remove your hand from the paddle and just hand it to Nicholas. Instead he holds on to your hand while you let the echo of the voices in the hall fill the cavities of your head. 

The photograph wasn’t cute. At least not to you. 

In your eyes, there was something inherently melancholic about it. 

As if the photographer was missing something.

The name confirmed it for you more than anything. You could interpret it as homage to the happier times spent with loved ones like your parents, like Nicholas thought, but you could equally interpret it as wanting to go back to or imagining what could have been in another place or time. 

It makes a small part of you ache a little. 

The bidding doesn’t skyrocket so Nicholas keeps on raising your hand until the other bidders fall flat. They don’t seem to want the photo as much as your husband does.

“Going once, going twice…and sold, to the young gentleman over there. Number 88.” the auctioneer makes a note of your paddle before they switch to the next item. 

“Sorry, did you just buy that print?” you blink rapidly, feeling as if you missed the whole thing.

“Yeah, but if you really hate it, I’ll keep it in my office.” Nicholas promises. You shake your head, still unsure of what transpired. You didn’t have space at home but you’d probably make some if you tried. 

“It’s fine. We’ll keep it.” you say.  

The rest of the auction passes by in a blur, and then you’re going to find the photograph so you could claim it. 

You stand to one side while Nicholas handles all the paper work and signs the check. Meanwhile, you look at the photograph some more, noticing that the child’s silhouette seems to be standing closer to the father but has its head angled toward its mother, as if looking up at her. 

You wonder if that could be you one day. 

It seemed unlikely, since you didn’t necessarily feel like it was your calling. 

That and you were married to Nicholas currently. 

Then it occurs to you that you have no idea what he wants in life. What if you get stuck together for a long time? Then what happens? Do you try to make each other happy and what does that even mean? Could you give him what he wanted if he ever did want anything? Would you be enough for him? Would he be enough for you? 

“Ready to go home?” his voice breaks through to you with the clarity of shattering ice. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” you nod, doing your best to look like you weren’t just living through an existential crisis for five minutes straight. 

You find yourself reaching for Nicholas’ arm on your own, holding on with both hands because you weren’t sure you could make it out of the hall without stumbling or stuttering otherwise. You needed stability just in case your legs decided to give out from the burden of your thoughts. 

Nicholas gives you a soft smile when he catches your eye and it feels like the most natural thing to return it, even if deep down you were still shaken. 

But just for a moment, it was okay.

You didn’t have the answers but it was okay.  

*

It’s a Wednesday morning, just before noon, and you have no intention of picking up your phone when it rings on your desk as you wrestle with a box of paperwork except, you glance at your phone and read the caller ID.

Maki’s name is on display and you drop the stack of papers back into the box, hand flying to the device. 

Your little brother rarely called you out of nowhere, especially not when he’s supposed to be in school. 

“Hey, Maks, is everything okay?” you say hurriedly. You feel your stress levels rising as you wait for him to answer. 

“Hey, will you come pick me up from school?” he asks on the other side of the line. The request strikes you as very odd. He sounds okay but you obviously couldn’t be sure over the phone.

“Why? What’s wrong?” you press. 

“Just come pick me up.” he says. “Please? And don’t tell mom and dad.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “Yes, I’m coming. Stay there.” 

You were about to have a meltdown. You were so worried about what on earth could have possibly happened for him to call you in the middle of the day and ask you to come pick him up. Could he be feeling sick and didn’t want to tell you? What could it be? 

You grab your jacket and bag and make your way out of the office, letting one of your colleagues know you were stepping out for an emergency. Well, you didn’t know it was an emergency but you just said whatever would get you out of that office quicker. 

You have to look up Maki’s school’s address since you basically had never been there and then drive in a way that would put the main characters of Fast and the Furious to shame. 

You throw your car in the nearest visitor parking spot and leg it to the reception of the main building. The school looks like a typical high school, except this is where all the smart, rich kids went and your brother was no exception. The kids all had crisp and perfect uniforms, the teachers looked impeccable too, and the buildings themselves were all but shining when you entered. 

You talk to the receptionist lady and explain that your brother had called you and she lets you into the foyer where there’s a seating area and several offices nearby. 

You knock on the door that the receptionist lady told you to and enter.

“Hello?” you poke your head in. You spot Maki sitting in one of the chairs around the table and open the door further, relieved to see he looked alright. 

“Are you Maki’s guardian?” the teacher sitting across the room says. 

“Yes, I’m his sister. Hello.” you say politely. 

“Hello. Please come in.” the lady says, gesturing with her hand. She doesn’t seem so stern but you feel like you’re in trouble for some reason. You slip into the chair next to your brother. 

“Is everything okay?” you ask, unable to take the tension any longer. The whole drive here, you felt like you were going to faint. 

“Yes, everything is fine. I just needed to call a parent or guardian in since Maki fell asleep in class this morning. It’s not the sort of thing we take lightly around here.” she informs you. 

You blink, thinking your ears failed you. Fell asleep in class? You swivel your head toward your little brother, who has subconsciously shrunk a smidge, which isn’t really possible since he’s not exactly a tiny child any more. 

“You fell asleep in class?” you repeat, addressing Maki. He nods quietly. “And you couldn’t tell me this over the phone?” you sigh. You ignore the teacher is there for a second. “Do you know how worried I was?” you demand. For a moment, you think you sound like your parents so you tell yourself to cool off and take a step back. 

The teacher clears her throat gently. “You see, miss, it’s not really a problem per se, we just needed to let you know and see if there’s anything going on at home that might have been the cause.” she clarifies. “We also think it’s best to send students home when they are not in their top form.”

“Right, I see.” you hum. “There’s nothing I’m aware of that could be the reason.” you say. You cannot discern the mix of relief and annoyance with the situation. What could he have been doing instead of sleeping and how could it have made him so tired that he fell asleep in class? At least it wasn’t worse, you said to yourself. 

“If students are unable to pay attention, then we find it best to give them some time to step away and come back when they can. Maki hasn’t done this before, so we won’t make a big deal out of it, it’s purely procedural that you were needed here today.” the teacher reassures you. 

“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry about that.” you apologise on Maki’s behalf. “It won’t happen again, right, Maki?” you question him. 

He nods, staying very quiet and very obedient. It was a world away from the vibrant, loud and mischievous Maki you knew. He must be really tired then, you decide.  

“Right, well, thanks, Miss. I think we’ll get going now.” you say, standing up and grabbing a hold of Maki’s backpack, which he was wearing the whole time he was sitting down. You pull him up by the bag, the way a mother cat carries around her kittens by the scruff of the neck, except when you pull him up to stand, he kind of towers over you a little since he’s growing up into a giant.

The two of you leave the office but Maki informs you he needs to get some stuff from his locker, so you follow him through the corridors to find it. You try your best not to have horrible war flashbacks to your own time in high school as you walk further in. By the time you reach it, the bell rings signalling what you assumed was the lunch break. The noise feels like a punch in the gut. 

Suddenly the hallways are flooded with students, teenage boys running around and milling about like tiny ants in a colony, except most of them are like a head taller than you, which makes it doubly terrifying. You feel awfully out of place and old if you were being honest, even if they were not that much younger than you. 

Maki rummages around his locker for a moment before you find two boys coming towards you. You think you’re blocking their lockers so you think to stand over on Maki’s other side but he notices and waves them over. 

“Hey, you guys, did we have math homework?” he asks them. You stand awkwardly to one side but nod politely at the kids. 

Your brother’s question gets ignored as the two boys fixate on you and one of them particularly stares at you in awe. You should have just waited for him outside. It makes you feel even more awkward and you clear your throat, directing the noise at Maki so he does something. He gets the hint and introduces them as his friends Taki and Harua. 

“Hi, aunty, you’re so pretty!” the one introduced as Harua, who was staring at you, gushes. The corners of Taki’s mouth droop down and he smacks Harua on the back of the head, dubious. 

Maki stops short and gives Harua a stank face. “Dude, bro, that’s my older sister!” he corrects.

But it’s too late.

The word ‘aunty’ echoes through your mind. It sends you reeling, mouth agape. You imagine your head unscrewing from your body like a lightbulb or one of those lego men and floating into outer space all while explosions and bombs go off in the background, very much in a poorly made, greenscreened fashion, all accompanied by a full orchestral and choral rendition of Verdi’s Dies Irae. You choke on spit just a little but purse your lips in order not to cough like crazy. 

Harua pales impossibly and you think he starts quaking like a newborn Chihuahua.

“It’s okay, kiddo.” you reassure him. “I suppose I am on my way to becoming a fossil.” you mutter to yourself, only half-sarcastically. 

“S-sorry aun- I mean noona, I- noona, sorry.” Harua stutters out and lowers his head a little, and you worry he might just burst into tears. 

“Don’t worry about it.” you try your best to seem friendly but you’re not sure it works. Instead you try to make Maki move faster. “I have to get back to the office, sweetie, hurry up.” you tell him. 

It seems to do the trick because Maki grabs one last textbook and shuts his locker. Harua seems completely mortified so he barely looks up at you as he and Taki bid the two of you goodbye and you leave.   

Once you’re sat in the safety of your car, you exhale laboriously.

“Quit it, will you?” Maki asks. “Harua didn’t mean it, he just got confused. You don’t look like an aunty at all.” 

“Gee, thanks.” you deadpan. “I didn’t even say anything, you didn’t have to go there.” you mumble as you start the engine. 

“Noona, c’mon, doesn’t Nicholas tell you you’re beautiful all the time? Don’t you know it by now?” Maki shakes his head in disbelief but you know it’s directed at you, not Nicholas. You wanted to tell him, as a matter of fact, no, Nicholas did not say such things nor did he need to. 

“‘Kay, first of all,” you pause. “I know my worth isn’t tied to my appearance and I don’t necessarily need to hear it from other people, although compliments can be nice. Secondly, insecurity still happens, regardless of what anyone says. Alright?” you explain. “The two states can co-exist. I know I don’t look like an aunty, but it was still shocking.”  

“Okay, got it.” Maki raises his hands in defeat. 

You’re driving but you realise that you don’t know where you’re going. 

“Wait a sec, where am I taking you?” you question Maki. 

“Please don’t tell Mom and Dad.” he begs, giving you puppy eyes from your passenger seat. You hadn’t thought about that yet but you don’t say that. “Just drop me off somewhere. I won’t do it again, just this once, just don’t tell them.”

You think for a moment. “Tell me why you fell asleep and I’ll consider it.” 

“I stayed up all night studying.” he says. You scoff loudly. 

“As if, lil bro, you think I was born yesterday?” you say, making a turn without thinking. 

“I’m serious! I did stay up all night studying since we had a test…” he exclaims. 

“A test?” you prompt him to keep going. 

“A test I didn’t study for.” he finishes, talking in tiny. It finally clicks and you nod.

“Right.” you say. “Did you at least take the test?” 

“Well yeah, but-”

“Good, just don’t do that ever again.” you warn. Maki nods enthusiastically. “Fine,” you concede. “you can stay in my apartment until it’s time for you to actually go home.” 

“Yes!” Maki cheers. “Thanks, noona, you’re the best!”  

You get home and while you’re in the elevator, it occurs to you that this was the first time Maki had actually visited you here. You just hoped that there was nothing weird there that might make him think something was off about you and Nicholas. 

You had been pretty successful in quashing his suspicions, not that you thought he had any since he hadn’t expressed anything in a while, so you really needed to keep up the facade. It might be hard considering he was going to stay in the apartment for a few hours.

You make a mental note not to let him see your separate bedrooms; that would be hard to explain. 

You punch in the code to your door and open it, ushering your little brother in before following. 

“Here’s some slippers.” you bring a spare pair out of the shoe rack and plop them in front of Maki. 

You rush into the living room to make sure that it was at least somewhat clean but you’re startled by a wild Nicholas that’s standing with his back to you in the kitchen area. He’s cooking something at the stove, a pair of massive headphones on and you swear under your breath. 

You skirt around the edge of the couch and make a bee line toward your husband. He seems to notice you in his peripheral vision as you practically run at him, making him jump out of his skin and drop the pair of chopsticks in his hand with a clang against the surface of the stove.

“Shh!” you hiss at him, putting a finger in front of your lips, glancing back at the foyer. Nicholas slides the headphones off his head, letting them hang around his neck. He looks more confused than you’ve ever seen him before. “Maki’s here!” you whisper. 

“What? Why? What’s going on?” he whispers back, alarmed at the new information. You shake your head dismissively. No time to tell the whole tale. 

“I’ll tell you later, but he’s here so act normal!” you conclude just as Maki makes his way through the door. 

“Oh hey, Nicholas hyung!” Maki’s face lights up when he sees your husband and you feel a little strange - your brother never greeted you like that. 

“Hey, buddy, how are you?” Nicholas switches up immediately, seamlessly, as if the shock of your arrival had never happened. He meets your eye for a second before properly looking at Maki, who deposits his backpack on the couch and comes to sit at the counter.  

“Y’know, normal.” Maki shrugs. You narrow your eyes at your little brother. 

“Not normal, you don’t normally get kicked out of school.” you scold him slightly. 

“You what?” Nicholas does a double take. Maki seems annoyed at you, as if you said the wrong thing. Well, you weren’t about to lie to your husband about something petty like that. 

“Eh, noona makes it seems worse than it is. I swear, I didn’t do anything bad.” he pouts. 

“He fell asleep in class.” you tell Nicholas, as if he had any authority in the situation. Nicholas visibly relaxes. 

“Oh, the way you were talking, I thought it was something serious. I used to fall asl-” Nicholas starts to say but the way you glare at him changes his mind. “I mean I never did that, that’s really, yeah, that’s not good.” he trails off, bringing a hand to massage the back of his neck. 

“Anyways, I’ve decided to let Maki stay here until he needs to go back home.” you say. “Is that okay? I didn’t think you’d be home actually.”

“Yeah, stay, it’s cool. I got home because my meeting was cancelled.” Nicholas replies, but is looking at you without blinking and you know something’s up by the way he keeps glancing at the hallway. 

“Okay, great.” you pick up the hint and turn to Maki. “We don’t have a lot to do here, Maks, but you can just watch TV for a while, right?” and you all but lift him out of his seat and steer him toward the couch. 

“Yeah, I like TV-”

“Awesome, knock yourself out.” you seat him at the couch and turn back to Nicholas, walking back across the room. 

With the background noise of the TV, you don’t think Maki will hear you if you whisper. 

“What?” you all but mouth when you’re close enough. Nicholas’ eyebrows raise so high they might ascend to the heavens above (your ceiling).

“Don’t you think he’s going to get suspicious?” he whispers back. “What if I say something dumb and he realises this is a sham?” 

You knew it was a real risk to let them hang out unsupervised for a long period of time but without you there for damage control, Nicholas was just going to have to deal with it. 

“I’m sorry, I promised him he can stay. You can figure it out. Just don’t talk about me or us.” you instruct. Nicholas nods, realising there’s no alternative. 

“Fine, just hurry back.” he pleads. 

You definitely weren’t sure you wanted to leave the two of them alone. Would the house burn down if you did? Could they handle it? This was inevitable, really, it was going to happen at some point. 

“Right, if he starts to get annoying, just threaten to tell my parents.” you forgo the whispering, moving toward the hallway.

“Oh? Kay?” Nicholas frowns, not quite understanding. 

Maki senses you’re about to exit and turns around to listen. 

Shit, he’s watching. 

You turn back to face Nicholas and he almost runs into you. You give him a slight smile. “Call me if there’s any problems.” you say sweetly, as if you’re not risking shattering the fabricated relationship you were thrown into. “Now, lean down.” you mutter. 

Nicholas lowers his head innocently and you lean in, planting a swift kiss to his cheek, making up the charade. If he’s surprised, Nicholas doesn’t show it because he straightens up and acts like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

You don’t dwell on it and turn to Maki next. 

“Listen to Nicholas, okay?” you warn. “Be good.” you say, directing it to the both of them. 

“Yes, Mom.” Maki drawls sarcastically. Your mouth drops open at the tone, then again, you didn’t have to wonder where exactly he picked it up from (you, most likely). You stick your tongue out at him as you walk away, Maki mirroring you almost instantly. 

You glance at Nicholas, who’s kind of standing still in shock at the display of sibling affection, not quite sure what to do with himself. 

“This house better be intact when I come back.” you call behind you as you walk out of the door. You really hoped everything would be okay. 

The entire time you were at work, you were anything but focused. You had minutes of good concentration before your mind wandered to how your husband and your brother were getting along. There was a few times where you even picked up your phone with half the mind to call and check but you realised how maniacal that really was so you put the device down on the other side of your office while you worked so you wouldn’t be tempted to slide into control freak mode. 

As soon as the working day finished, you rushed out of there, ignoring the sound of your coworkers still tapping away on keyboards, clipping and filing papers together, or the wistful sighs of those stuck doing overtime. 

You willed yourself to still follow road safety, in a carefully executed exercise of self-control, instead of mimicking your earlier attempts at cosplaying Vin Diesel behind the wheel. 

The familiar sound of the password unlocking the front door finally came as you yanked open the handle and swished through the corridor quickly, kicking off your shoes haphazardly in the process and padding across the floor barefoot. 

There was noise coming from your living room which you’d heard about a half-way through the hallway and you’re fascinated when you enter and find the boys sitting on the couch, controllers in hand and still oblivious to your arrival. 

They were playing video games. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. That’s pretty neutral and doesn’t require any intellectual conversation. 

“Yaaa, where you going, lil dude? That was never a short cut!” Nicholas chuckles, eyes still glued to the screen. 

“It is too!” Maki argues. “Just ‘cause you’ve never heard of it, hyung.” you can hear the cheekiness behind his provocation. 

“Hey, I don’t need to know stuff to be good at this.” Nicholas insists. 

You look closer at the screen and finally put two and two together; they’re playing Mario Kart. 

You can’t believe it - you’d been worried about nothing. And as a bonus, your husband now had a video game buddy, as it seemed. You decide to clear your throat and enter the room.

“Hey, I’m back.” you say. “What did you guys get up to?” you quiz nonchalantly. They both greet you, almost a little surprised since clearly they weren’t paying attention to you coming in. 

Great, a thief could have walked in and out and nobody would have heard a damn thing. 

“We just hung out. Nicholas hyung made lunch then we played video games and well, that’s it.” Maki says, lifting the controller in his hand as evidence. You nod.

“Great, good, awesome.” so you were hyperactively checking your watch for no reason. You were glad to know it was a great use of your time (not). 

“Maki’s really good at this game, YN. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have invited him over sooner so we could play.” Nicholas comments. 

“Well, if it’s about video games, Maki, you can always come around.” you say, only slightly strained at his forgetfulness - it was only a few hours ago that you were freaking out about your brother possibly figuring out he’d been lied to. Well, not lied to exactly, just … left in the dark about the nature of your marriage. 

“Really?” Maki seems really excited to hear he’s got a free-for-all to your house at any time. “That’s great, I’ll come on weekends so we can play, hyung!” he says and for a moment you feel a swell of emotion overcome you; you hadn’t seen Maki this happy and excited for a long time. And he certainly didn’t get this animated when he was hanging out with you. It made you feel like marrying Nicholas wasn’t so bad after all; it had its silver lining. 

“You guys hungry?” you change the subject. “I’ll make dinner.” you say, leaving your bag on the couch. 

“I can make it, if you want.” Nicholas offers over his shoulder. 

“No, no, you made lunch, it’s okay, keep playing.” you reassure him. You just needed a minute to yourself so cooking would suffice. 

“Alright,” Nicholas agrees but he keeps looking at you, as if he noticed the look on your face. You meet his eye and turn away quickly. You didn’t want him to think you were feeling weird about stuff since you weren’t. Much. 

“Maki, call home to let them know you’re here.” you call over the noise of the video game. It was getting late, about the time he’d go home from school. 

“Okay,” he groans quietly but does as you said obediently. You felt like you were nagging all of a sudden. 

You wondered if you’d been replaced as the favourite sibling now that Nicholas was in the picture. Were you jealous of your husband? What a dumb thought. 

You shrug to yourself and wash your hands. 

*

Sometimes you did wonder why you bothered waking up at all on your days off.

It was more of an instinctual thing; it was your body clock waking up for you, telling you that you just had to keep doing that thing where you opened your eyes and then dragged your body out of bed, regardless of whether you had work that day or not. 

So you do, you get up, and your natural routine of getting coffee first thing takes you to the kitchen where you spot Nicholas already at the machine, brewing the first lot of the day. He’s still in his pyjama pants but has not been bothered to put on a shirt yet, his hair all tousled and fluffy from sleep.

“Morning.” you say. You pick out a mug from the cupboard and situate yourself next to the machine, to wait for the coffee to be ready. 

“Hey,” Nicholas responds. It’s surprising since it’s morning and you usually tend to get communication via strange noises from him at this time of day. You glance at him for a moment, trying to discern if something’s different but you just watch his back muscles as he reaches for the milk from the fridge. It’s harder than you’d like to admit to take your eyes away and focus on whether the coffee is done yet. 

The machine does its usual whirring and whatnot but you can’t figure out why it seems to be taking an age. You stand with the empty cup but tense up when Nicholas materialises behind you, reaching over your head to get the box of cereal in the cupboard above you. His bare skin comes into contact with yours and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

His body is warm against yours and it’s overwhelming. 

You realise you’re holding in a breath you didn’t know you’d sucked in, only letting it out when he stepped away. You purse your lips and try your best not to mind that, whatever it was.

But you do mind. So much. 

Your eyes wander back over to Nicholas as he fixes up his bowl of breakfast. He’s not doing much but you just watch him, mesmerised for some reason. It’s weird for sure; it’s not the first time you’d seen him without a shirt, so what on Earth was going on? 

You tear your eyes away but you’re incredibly aware of his every move. He glances at you, as if he can feel your nervous energy permeating the air in the kitchen, but doesn’t say anything. 

You forgot you were waiting for that damn coffee machine, you fingers tapping against the counter, eyes shifting around. You look at the numbers on your digital clock - had they changed at all since you came in? Was your mind playing tricks on you? Maybe it was just too early in the morning. 

“YN?” you hear behind you and you whip around, almost too fast, only to be shocked at how much closer Nicholas was than you thought he would be. He doesn’t say anything else, but assess you, trying to read you. “Are you okay?” he asks, looking at you with concern. 

“Yeah.” you breathe out, inaudibly. 

Except it’s a lie. 

It’s not okay. You can’t seem to focus on anything but Nicholas and the tension between you, thick and intoxicating, a fog that you could cut through with a knife. You hate it; it’s too hot and stuffy all of a sudden and you feel your chest rising and falling with every breath. 

Nicholas takes a slow step toward you, and then another and you attempt to step backwards but are blocked by the edge of the counter against your back. And then you’re standing too close, closer than explainable, close enough to see the colour of his irises in detail or the soft skin of his cheeks or the slight parting of his lips.

You weren’t proud of it but for a moment, you considered closing the space between you and kissing him. It was completely primal, this urge that came from nowhere in particular, an impulsive thought that could be converted into action if you just lost control for a split second. 

But you didn’t decide to lose control. 

Nicholas did.

And you followed, falling into him like a domino.

You think it seems almost natural, reasonable even, when Nicholas leans down and smashes his lips against yours. So natural that your arms curl around his shoulders immediately, grabbing hold to keep you locked together as you kiss intensely, mouths moving in sync as if you’d rehearsed this exact scene a million times. 

There’s a vague beeping noise somewhere in the background, and if you were paying attention, you would have spared a thought that it was your stupid coffee finally ready, but nothing could permeate the bubble the two of you were in.             

Nicholas swipes a paw to your left at the empty mug, his own abandoned next to it, and sends them flying off the counter. You don’t even hear the crash of ceramic against the tile floor because his hands are wrapping around the back of your thighs and he’s lifting you up to perch you on the counter, his mouth never leaving yours. 

You shuffle to accommodate him standing between your legs, wrapping them gently around his waist, keeping him flush against you. Your nighty rides up your thighs, revealing your underwear underneath and Nicholas’ hands make the most of it by running up the sides of your legs, gathering the material and slipping under to hold your bare hips. 

There’s not a single comprehensible thought in your head while you make out with your husband, except for maybe you liked having his tongue down your throat a little too much. That and your awareness of what you were feeling between your legs, exacerbated by the way your hips moved against Nicholas’. He was only wearing pyjamas and you could definitely feel something there. 

You can’t keep your hands still, your fingertips eager to touch every inch of his broad shoulders, reaching to his back and then finding purchase in his hair as Nicholas detaches from your mouth only to skim over your cheek and jaw on his way to your neck. You’re breathless while he pays special respect to sensitive skin of your neck, kissing it hotly and biting down gently, the intent of leaving a mark clear in his actions. 

You all but melt at how good it feels, relaxing in his arms. A low moan escapes your mouth while he’s busy finding your sweet spots. Then another.

“N-nico…” you can’t help the breathy stutter that your throat produces. It seems to catch his attention because he hums against you, acknowledging your reactions. 

Without a word, you kiss him again, guiding his mouth back to yours with one hand. He catches your wrist with one of his hands and holds it there while the other reaches down between you. You’re just about aware enough to know that he’s pulling at the strings on his pyjama bottoms. You shimmy further to the edge of the counter in response, reaching down too, fingers clumsy toward your underwear but before you can do anything-

Everything disappears.

You startle awake, half-jumping out of your skin with clarity that you’d been dreaming this whole time.

You straighten up, lifting your head up from your desk, recognising the familiar decor of your office. You feel almost dizzy and completely dazed from your sleep. Moreover, there’s an uncomfortable heat radiating from your skin, as if you’ve spent too long in a sauna or taken a shower that was far too hot for far too long. 

You swallow thickly and sigh, shaking your head. 

You had to calm down, it was just a dream. Nothing to worry about. None of that happened, everything was okay. 

Everything was-

“Are you okay?” 

You all but scream when you hear Nicholas’ voice behind you. 

“Wh-when did you get here?” you stammer, turning around to glare at him. You watch as he picks up a folder off your shelf, opens it and deposits a stack of papers inside. 

“I was here? The whole time?” he informs you looking back at you, scepticism on his face. “We’ve been working for hours, you must be really tired.” 

“Oh,” you try to calm down. “right.”

“Right.” Nicholas says. “So how was your nap? I didn’t wake you, did I? You seem surprised.”

“I, uh,” you pause to think. “had a scary dream.” you finish and get up. Scary might be an understatement; those kind of thoughts? About Nicholas? Definitely terrifying.  

The safest thing your brain could think of doing right now, was getting a cup of coffee. That should wake you right up, and you hopefully you can put this whole thing behind you. 

“I’m sorry, that sucks.” he hums sympathetically, picking out another folder from the shelf. You glance back at him while you start making your coffee. It’s really strange seeing him in your office - he tended to stay at his own at Wang Enterprises. But what’s stranger is that no matter how much you wrack your brain, you cannot remember what it is that you were working on right now. 

What kind of nap made you forget hours of past events?

You’re lost in thought as you pour the coffee, staring into space. 

“Woah! Hey!” Nicholas exclaims. “Watch it!” 

You snap out of it just in time to lift the jug before the cup overflowed. Your heart is racing from the sudden scare and you put it down quickly. 

“What the hell is going on with you, YN?” Nicholas asks, already by your side, taking your hands away from the counter and inspecting them in case you burned yourself. You look at him blankly and shrug. 

“I must have overslept.” you say lamely. He rolls his eyes, seemingly annoyed but you can tell he was just worried. When had you started to read him so well? 

“I’ll say.” he mutters, letting your hands go then scanning the table to check for any spillages. You were in an office after all; coffee spillages were the most common hazard. “Do you need a wake up call, Mrs Wang?” he quizzes, leaning closer to inspect your face.

“This feels like a trick question.” you blurt out loud. He was still up close, not making a shift away even when he chuckles at your response. 

“Gosh, YN, you’re such an over-thinker.” he says. “We should work on that.” he hums, still looking at you intently. 

“How?” you mumble, still drowsy. 

“Like this…” he trails off, stepping closer to you. You’re starting to feel a sense of deja vu and it’s because his face is literal inches from yours. Maybe it was because of your dream, but somehow you were desensitised to him being in that proximity and didn’t try to create any distance between you.  

You almost start panicking, but it’s more of a dull afterthought. “Don’t think.” he whispers, lips hovering over yours.

It’s too late to think, you note. 

You move, catching his mouth with yours, reaching up to hold his cheek for balance. 

And then you’re stumbling back, Nicholas guiding you toward your desk, lifting you to sit on the edge, papers flying as you swipe a hand back to make space. 

Was it sleep deprivation? Was it complete and utter lack of self-control? You had no idea, but you didn’t need to be told twice about not thinking; all you could comprehend right now was how badly you wanted to keep kissing Nicholas. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

He seemed to share that thought because he made no effort to de-escalate the situation despite you two being in your office, in broad daylight, with presumably all your co-workers outside. 

If you were using your brain, you’d worry what they would think if they found the two of you - the daughter of the chairman and her husband from the merging company - behaving like a couple of crazy teenagers during office hours. 

But you weren’t using your brain. 

You were using your hands, pulling at Nicholas’ tie to undo the loop and throw it to the side. Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt easily, popping each one from top to bottom, then sliding the garment off his shoulders. One of his hands had made itself comfortable squeezing your thigh, shoving your skirt up to expose your leg.

Your hands wander up and down his torso, trying to memorise to feeling of every inch of skin, as if it was the most important thing in your life. His hands rest in your bunched up skirt, thumbs playing with the skin just covered by your underwear and you just want him to get rid of it already. 

But he doesn’t; instead he keeps teasing the skin around it, fingers meandering over your thighs and hips. You whine into his mouth in protest, hoping he gets the message. 

And you wonder if he might have if it wasn’t for the distant beeping sound that gradually became louder and louder.

You open your eyes with gasp when you finally wake up.

The beeping sound is loud and clear and coming from your nightstand. You smack your phone to snooze the alarm and sigh.  

This time you’re in your bed, the ceiling of your room above you, and early morning sunlight streaming in through your window. 

You’re panting, chest rising and falling rapidly, way too hot and sweaty under the covers. You thrash around wildly, as if fighting your blankets until you’re sure that this is definitely reality and you’re 100% awake now. 

So all of that…all of it, was a dream?

You clamp a hand over your mouth to muffle the panicked squeak that almost escapes you. You have to sit up and attempt to calm down. 

It wasn’t real, none of it was, thankfully, none of that had occurred in real life, you tell yourself. It was all in your imagination. 

“It’s not real.” you whisper out loud. 

So why did it feel so real, if it wasn’t? 

There’s real heat radiating off your skin, a slight sheen of sweat over it and your covers are a mess and there’s a very real ache in your core, one that you wish you couldn’t feel right now. You reach down and find your fears confirmed with the slick that you find drenching your underwear. 

For a hazy moment, your brain jumps to the image of Nicholas smirking at you, amused at your circumstances if he found out. 

He’d never let you breathe if he knew. 

Then your brain jumps to the image of him lapping it all up with his tong-

“No!” you exclaim. “Stop thinking, just stop.” you will yourself, massaging your temples with two fingers. You hurry to get up and try to snap out of it, chugging the water you’d left on your nightstand. As you drank, you realised how parched you were - you needed to rehydrate after that horror episode. 

You needed to take a shower too but you decided to make a cup of coffee first, since caffeine was the next best thing if you didn’t want to start your journey to alcoholism at 7 in the morning, though it may be justified after what you just experienced. 

You glance in the mirror before leaving the room, seeing the ratty, oversized t-shirt you slept in crumpled but falling to just underneath your thighs. Now that you think about it, you should have known it was a dream because you definitely wouldn’t wear a nightdress that nice to bed.

You smooth over your bedhead a little and shrug; the faster you get coffee, the faster you can wash this whole nightmare away. 

You poke your head out of the door first, listening out for any movement. 

There’s quiet sounds coming from the kitchen, so Nicholas was definitely awake. Before you? He must have meetings or something. You decide to brave it and just get in and out. 

You creep up the hallway and practically sneak into the kitchen in your own home since you didn’t want to alert him to your presence. He’s got those giant headphones on with his back to you as he cooks something in a pan at the stove. 

You felt a bit exposed in your little t-shirt and damp panties but you knew he’d seen you in less, in fact, he’d seen you na-

Do not go there, you willed your brain. Now’s not the time to remember embarrassing shit.

You get to the kitchen and Nicholas notices your movement, turning to greet you.

“Morning.” he slides the headphones down to rest on his neck. He looks at you for a moment and you think this is it, he knows, he’s a mind reader, but then he turns back to his food without a word.   

“Hey.” you find a mug and get to the coffee machine. You knew you could practically do this in thirty seconds flat, so you moved as if you were running late for a meeting (it was simply a hypothetical situation but it wouldn’t hurt to practice it like a drill). 

“You want?” Nicholas asks, tipping the pan towards you to show its contents. He’s frying eggs. 

“No, thanks.” you say quickly and snap the button on the machine. You can’t help but tense up as if he’s going to say something more. Could he tell what happened? Could he sense there was something wrong with you?

“‘Kay,” he says. “Can you get me a mug too?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the eggs. 

“Sure.” you grab one as the machine whirrs. So far, so good. You were acting normal. Totally unsuspicious. 

The machine finishes its thing and you pour the cups, putting sugar into yours by habit. Your stomach growls so you decide to get some toast too even if that means staying in the kitchen longer. 

You busy yourself on the other side of the counter but look up when Nicholas moves to pick up a coffee cup. He picks it up and takes a sip. You realise it’s the one you poured for yourself with the sugar. Why didn’t he notice? He usually didn’t have sugar in his. Actually he usually had an iced Americano but that’s a whole other thing in itself. 

“Something wrong?” he asks when he finds you watching him.

“That one had sugar in it.” you say. 

“Oh.” he looks at it, as if he would be able to tell by looking at it. Dumbass. “Sorry, here.” he hands it back to you and you take it, putting it on the counter. 

Normally you wouldn’t care about sharing mugs since you were married - like technically - but you weren’t strangers, that’s what you meant, but right now you looked at it, thinking about how his lips had been there and that yours would be too-

Your toast resurfaces and you almost keel over in relief. Time to get the fuck out of there. 

You throw the bread on a plate and attempt to scat, bumping into Nicholas, who had silently moved to your other side, raiding the fridge. Luckily, you hadn’t picked up the hot coffee yet, or you would be wearing it right now. 

Nicholas is just as startled to find you up in his grill, milk carton forgotten in the fridge as he lets the door fall shut. 

So you stay for a split second, a Mexican standoff.

The eerie deja vu begins again and this time you’re determined to call the shots. You could not allow yourself to just fall into his arms. Not that he had any clue about all that, of course. But you did, your body did and it was starting to react as soon as Nicholas was near you.   

At the risk of your own demise, you make the first move. 

“Your eggs are burning.” you lie and watch as his eyes widen and he rushes back to the pan. In the meantime, you snatch the cup and plate and run.

You make it to the safety of your room and rest your back against the door, exhaling deeply.  

Oh god, that’s bad. That’s very, very, truly not good. 

You’re having weird thoughts about your husband, but then again, who were you really supposed to have those thoughts about? Jake from accounting? That guy Sunghoon across the hall? Heesung from your tort law class? No. 

It kinda checked out that you were somehow into Nicholas - at least on a subconscious level. He was something else entirely. He’d just made your brain short circuit and you had no idea why. 

Well, you did. He was Nicholas. He was your husband. 

And you could totally have sex with him, since that’s what married couples did, even fake ones such as yourselves probably did. You had to think about it - could you bring this up to him? It’s not like you hadn’t talked about it before. 

You’d have to establish boundaries - it’s not like you were in love with him - it would be like a friends with benefits thing at most, nothing to freak out about. 

Your husband was stupid fine; a total smoke show, who could really blame you for thinking like that? It’s a miracle you held out this long, right?  

It was true you’d lasted this long, but you also had your pride on the line - you weren’t the type of person to beg or to ask for anything, so how could you even consider asking him if he wanted to have sex with you?  

You knew you should just forget about the whole ordeal and move on.

So why couldn’t you?

*

Another day, another bullshit situation waiting to happen.

Work was slow and you were more than ready to leave since you’d had enough of office noise and the never-ending pile of paperwork that seemed to arrive in your email inbox every five minutes like clockwork. 

You wanted nothing more to leave but there was still some time left in the work day. 

Your email pinged as if on cue, and you sighed before clicking on the icon on your computer screen. 

You stopped short. This was totally unexpected. 

It was from the people you were negotiating with over the contract you’d lost. They had sent you an email containing a copy of the list of things you’d lost with the meeting notes. They had also requested a meeting next week to go over the revised stuff. The most shocking part of all was perhaps that it was all serious; it was definitely not some kind of passive-aggressive attempt to humiliate you, as there sometimes was in corporate relations (you would know, your legal team was often the one who started that sort of thing, you weren’t proud of it). 

You emailed them back immediately thanking them and confirming the date, then apologising profusely that you’d lacked on your end. You hesitated for a moment, but asked why the sudden reminder of the details from the first meeting. 

The email wooshed away and for a while you forgot about it. 

You were packing up your things to leave when the reply came. 

“Dear Mrs L/N…blah blah blah…” you muttered. “…your husband got in contact and explained that there was a logistical mishap with your papers and got the edits off of us…” you sit and stare at the screen. 

Your what had done what now? 

You took a moment to process. 

According to them, Nicholas had found their contact information and told them that there was a problem with your notes, and they just gave them to him?

What had he done? Surely no one would do that, right? Even for their wife? And why would they have allowed that? What could he have possibly said to them to make this happen?

Probably just told them his full name with a flash of that charming smile and voilà - they probably fell to their knees and begged him to take the edits. Regardless, he’d got them…for you.

You were a little winded, if you were being honest. You’d had so much anxiety over what had transpired with the contract, that you’d tried to block out most of it until you had to actually work on the matter. 

But Nicholas had tried to help you behind your back. Why didn’t he tell you? Probably because he knew you’d never let him to do that for you, yet it was probably the nicest thing any person had ever done for you. Saved you more humiliation and strife so you didn’t have to endure it. 

He really did that for you.

You felt like crying and screaming but like in a happy way for once. 

You couldn’t wait to go home and- and what?

If you saw Nicholas right this very second, you couldn’t trust yourself - you’d probably do something dumb like hug him or kiss him. Or both. 

You had to make it up to him, to thank him. 

So you did the only thing you could think he would really love.

…

The warmth that wafted through your apartment was far too strong for this to become a surprise but you kept cooking, making dish after dish, still on a high over what Nicholas had done for you. 

People didn’t tend to do a lot of nice things for you, at least not genuinely and with good intentions - usually it was because of your money - so when someone did, you always remembered and internalised it. It made you want to do good things too. 

It hadn’t escaped your attention that between you and Nicholas, the language of gratitude and affection was food, so it wasn’t difficult to pick out your thank you gesture. 

The front door beeped open and you heard the shuffle of slippered feet coming toward your kitchen.

“My god, it’s a sauna in here! What are you doing?” Nicholas exclaims when he comes through. 

“I’m fulfilling our beautiful kitchen’s purpose.” you state. “Did you have dinner yet?” 

“Nope, I’m starving.” he says, already eyeing the dishes on the table as he washed his hands. 

“Good, sit down. I made it for you.” you say, turning back to the stove, mostly to avoid Nicholas’ inquisitive eyes. 

“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks, sitting down.

You turn and look at him. For a moment you think about how to phrase it, your tongue poking out your cheek. 

“Thank you for getting the contract back.” you say earnestly. You watch as recollection appears on his handsome face, and he nods modestly. 

“It’s alright; it’s the least I could do.” he replies. You smile fondly at him. 

“What did you end up telling them? I really am dying to know because I know you definitely didn’t tell them the truth.” you chuckle. Then you hesitate. “You didn’t, right?” you start to sound panicked.  

“No, of course not.” Nicholas reassures you. “I just told them our dog ate the contract.” he gives you small shrug. You think you misheard him. He must read into your reaction because he rushed to correct himself. “I’m joking! I just told them it blew away through an open window. It’s totally plausible, airing out offices and such.” 

You sigh in relief. “Alright, even I could believe that. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Nicholas hums. “Now, tell me all about this feast.”   

~

CHAPTER 5A - ADDICTED (smut MINORS DNI)

also memes!!!!!

~

a/n: thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated <3 welp things are finally getting real for YN lol, hope that helps. also fun tmi - i looked at a photo of nico and went ‘hey husband’, then the next one of euijoo and went ‘hey husband’s husband’ lol, might explore this dynamic more tbh

*copyright 2021- © momobani 

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

Stargate SG-1 Fanfiction Rec List

for @jhxpper

On AO3

(including some tags provided by authors in lieu of all of them for the sake of space. My apologies if some of these authors have tumblrs I'm not aware of)

He Can Be Very Charming by Amphytrion (@amphytrionwrites) (T, Sam/Jack, semi canon compliant)

Diary of a Cat by samsg1 (T, Sam Carter/Jonas Hansen (not the focus, doesn't last) and Sam Carter & Schrodinger the cat, suprisingly canon compliant for a fic about a cat)

Offspring by TheLionessWrites (E, Sam/Jack, Medical Rape/Non-Con)

Stop the World from Spinning by lemonfluff (@itslemonfluff) (E, Sam/Jack, Twister AU)

Stimulating by Amphytrion (T, Sam/Jack, AU)

The Freshman by NewCrayons (T, Sam/Jack, so much trope, at least 90% fluff)

Knocked Up by Akamaimom (T, married Sam/Jack, humor, romance)

Scent by GWhite (G, Sam/Jack)

Dreamlike by captain_sassy_sock (@captain-sassy-socks) (M, Sam/Jack, fluff, cabin fic)

Coffee and a Snack by lemonfluff (T, Sam/Jack, inspired by He Can Be Very Charming)

Across the Galaxy by TheiraVShade (@theiravshade) (T, Sam/Jack, episode tags)

Flannel Nightgowns and Other Strategic Conundrums by Akamaimom (T, Sam/Jack, newlyweds, humor)

Under Pressure by samsg1 (M, Sam/Jack, heavy angst)

The Teddy Bear by Caladenia (G, Sam/Jack, established relaitonship, fluff)

Overheating by Koken (E, Sam/Jack)

The Fine Print by Nazmuko (T, Sam/Jack, tragedy, finding their way back to each other)

Proper Care and Feeding of Your Astrophysicist by CoraClavia (G, Sam/Jack)

The Hard One by XWingKC (T, Sam & Jack, PTSD)

Christmas at Jack's by GWhite (T, Sam/Jack, family, fluff)

Perfect Strangers by MWard01 (M, Sam/Jack, enemies to loves, PTSD, therapy)

Scar by JX27 (T, Sam/Jack, whump, slow burn, light angst)

Nothing Is Not An Option by captain_sassy_socks (T, Sam/Jack, tag to Threads)

Pete's Parts by GWhite, XWingKC (M, Sam/Pete, Sam/Jack, Whump) (I consider this humor, but it's not tagged as such)

See Them Aliens by outoftheseashesrising (G, Sam/Jack, humor)

Swing and a Miss by Mini_Goat (@jedimastergoat) (T, Sam/Jack, fluff)

Tease(r) or Lure by writingherhope (T, Sam/Jack, AU, sex shop, fishing)

Pretty much anything by Amphytrion, Akamaimom, GWhite, lemonfluff, and captain_sassy_socks and you're good to go.

I also have a collection of Stargate SG-1 (various Sam/Jack, AUs, and fluff) stories on AO3 under Sacastic_Science_Fiction_Writer

On FF.net

superposition of eigenstates by nostalgia (Sam/Jack, whumpy)

Hell Hath No Fury by Strixvaria25 (dark!Sam AU)

Homecomings by Evilgoddss (Fun team rescuing Sam fic)

[bucket-barnes]

What a fool you were

Guess who was feeling Stabby 😀…it was me. I crave violence and have some lingering bisexual rage against Harry Hook- here’s some angst! Hope you like poison!

TW: someone’s gonna die and I do not shy away from trying to make you cry. If you’re unable to handle depictions of sickness and death, feel free to pay this no mind and keep scrolling. If you’re here to let me make you cry, read away.

(Characters: sea three, sorta but not really core four+ben, hook siblings, lost revenge crew)

He was a fool

He was an absolute fucking fool

They were sent on a diplomatic mission in Camelot, King Arthur wasn’t willing to comply with some of king Ben’s new laws regarding the…villains. Uma and her pirates had been sent to deal with the problem, since, no one would dare mess with Uma and with her entire crew to back her up, there was no way this could go wrong…right?

It took ten minutes for the meeting to derail and turn into a battle. King Arthur refused to compromise and Uma wasn’t backing down, after a few pointed comments at the young sea witch, sword were drawn and a fight ensued

Metal clashed with metal, swords and daggers flew across the room, breaking statues and knocking lights off the walls, one pirate’s sword ended lodged in the round table. Uma was preoccupied, fighting two knights at once, it was honestly child’s play for her. The knights were trained to fight with honor and uniform, Uma was trained by pirates, to never let her enemy know her next move, it was almost too easy

And then she heard it…that unmistakable yelp

Uma turned around and saw Harry collapse to the ground, his hand clasped over his abdomen…and a knight, with a now bloodied dagger clutched in his hand

Uma saw red. In a flash, the knight was pinned to a wall and the room went silent, weapons clattered to the ground, and knights tossed up their hands in surrender. The lost revenge crew were gathered in a circle around Harry…he wasn’t getting up

Uma ran to her first mate. He was lying on the ground, his hand shakily covering his wound, his breath was uneven and his forehead was beaded with sweat. Uma moved his hand, and then she saw it…dark purple mixed in with red

No…no, no, no. Not him, anyone but him

Uma’s hands began to tremble, traveling up to Harry’s cheek. She looked up at Gil, who already had tears in his eyes

“…Call Ben” it was supposed to sound like an order, but it came out as more of a desperate plea. She looked at Jonas and didn’t have to say a word, he simply nodded and lifted Harry into his arms.

The next couple days were dark. Ben had called every doctor in Auradon, all coming back with the same answer, that there was nothing they could do, it was a kind of poison no one had ever seen before and nothing they tried was working. Mal begged, pleaded with Hades, her own father, to do something, anything to save her friend…but not even the gods could help…all anyone could do was wait. Wait for the inevitable

Uma never left Harry’s side. She stayed with him on the ship, crew members rotating shifts on guarding the door of the captain’s quarters, if they weren’t guarding the door…they were saying goodbye

Harry had changed a lot in the past few days, both physically and mentally. His skin had become a sickly pale, almost like porcelain, his once piercing blue eyes were now cloudy and distant. He didn’t talk, he really only had the energy to mumble and whisper, even then his words would often be interrupted by coughing or moans in agony. He’d try to put on his same suave exterior, not wanting his loved ones to be sad when he eventually passed, though there was only one time he couldn’t keep it together

…with his family

His father was off getting drunk somewhere, unable to cope with losing his only son, his boy. Harriet and CJ were there. Harriet held his hand and knelt down to kiss his forehead, her own eyes glassy with tears, trying so hard to stay strong and not cry in front of her little brother…she could really only manage one phrase

“I love you” the words coming out as a choking whisper. Harry squeezed her hand as hard as he could, as if to tell her “it’s ok”

It was much harder when it came to CJ. Callista Jane, his baby sister, she really did look younger to him. Her features looking more innocent and child-like as she held her brother close and cried into his shoulder

“Please don’t leave” she cried. Harry let a few of his own tears fall as he whispered “…I’m sorry” he couldn’t make that promise, he knew his time was coming, that no one could do anything about it…all he could do was apologize

Harry’s last day was peaceful. It was just him and Uma in the captain’s quarters, she held his hand while he looked into her eyes and smiled, it was a weak one, but he could still see her and that’s all he needed. Uma didn’t let him talk, she knew it’d be too much energy for him and she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, however much time that was

Harry managed to muster enough strength to tuck a piece of Uma’s hair behind her ear, he always loved her hair. Seeing those teal waves always made his day, whenever she asked him, he’d help her braid it, he loved watching it blow in the wind…he’d miss that…he’d miss her

It took some convincing, but Harry got Uma to lay with him, wanting to hold her one last time. She had her head on his chest and his face was buried in her hair, taking in that one last smell of the sea. They laid in silence, coming to terms with the inevitable. Uma took to listening to Harry’s heartbeat. It was uneven and strained, like his body was fighting to keep going. She began to notice a pattern

One, two…three, four. For every two beats, there was a pause, almost like a very slow, ticking time bomb of death, she stayed on his chest for the rest of the day, her tears falling on his skin as the pattern broke…and his heartbeat faded

One, two…three, four

One, two…three…four

One, two…three…

One, two…

One…

…

Numb, that’s what she felt, Uma felt numb. She felt Harry’s hand still wrapped around her arm, it felt cold and empty. She slowly moved his arm and sat up, she stroked his cheek…and she moved a little closer

Maybe, just maybe…

…Maybe the fairytales are right…

Ooooo~ it’s open ended~ you decide how it ends! Is this penance for writing this sappy piece of shit? Yes, do I regret it? We’ll see in the morning! If I made you cry that means I did my job. If you’re wondering “Bucket, where did you get this demented idea?” I couldn’t tell you, but I hope you liked it! Even if I just made you sob