#jonah<333 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mythicandco · 1 year ago

Note

Hehe

Fic name: "Such simple, human things"

tw for self loathing/minor self harm, identity crises, minor body horror, and other typical tmc things

birthdays are one of the most human things one can imagine. what other creature celebrates anniversaries of its own birth? it's just one year closer to death. just another 365 days you can look at and say, "hey, I didn't die." it's another reminder of their impermanence, their fragility, wrapped in a pretty bow with icing and candles on top.

Adam Murray only ever had four(three?) birthdays. the rest were stolen from him from the monster in his bedroom, in his television, and now in his place.

his - the real one, not the copy, the simulacrum, the lie (because as much as they tell it that it had no way of knowing, "it wasn't your fault," that it's just as much Adam Murray as the human was, it knows they're lying) - first birthday was a half-remembered blur. there were smiling faces and bright balloons and a little cake with a single candle that his parents blew out for him snuffed out much the same way he had been smothered by shadowy claws, swallowed up by snapping jaws, given away to an insatiable hunger that didn't even remember itself and a pile of toys they'd gotten him as presents, but the details were smudged and darkened and buried and burned around the edges, like a polariod partially consumed by the hungry flames after a house fire.

its first birthday, after Lynn and Jude were gone, was spent in a hollow room. the caretakers at the orphanage had done their best to put together a party for it, but they functioned only on donations and so it was a bit small, with scarce decorations. it didn't need it, anyways. it stared blankly, almost hungrily at the five candles flickering before it, their light glinting and reflecting on its eyes.

"make a wish," a smiling adult said, trying to keep the unease out of their voice. it drank it up, sweeter than any icing, before speaking.

"I wish-"

"no, you don't say it out loud," another kid protested, a bit older but not by much, seeing as in truth the thing across the table from her was older than time. "if you do, it won't come true!"

"oh." it blinked at her, and she looked away quickly, biting her lip. "okay." it thought for a moment, then closed its eyes.

I wish for Mommy to come back.

some habits die hard.

it blew out the candles.

on its thirteenth birthday, he had already known Jonah for a handful of years. they'd met the forth time Adam ran away from the orphanage, when they were both eight, on an almost-warm day in September where the air lingered with schoolwork and guilt. Adam had been slowly taking it in when he heard a sharp cry of pain and, lo and behold, there was a boy on the sidewalk, fresh treacle salty tears streaming down his face and sticky sweet blood oozing from the scratch on his knee.

Adam looked down at him, blocking out the sun behind him, and reached out a hand. Jonah took it and stood up.

"th-thanks," he managed, wiping at the corners of his eyes.

"no problem. where do you live? I'll walk you back."

"oh, it's just here. where's your parents?"

"I'm alone."

"oh." Jonah stared at the other boy with silent reverence. "that's so cool."

it wasn't, but Adam latched onto the way Jonah looked at him, and squeezed his hand a little tighter.

they'd been best friends ever since, and Jonah's parents had arranged a party for Adam. Jonah got to design the cake, and it was a lovely thing, all black icing with overlapping red leaves, little glimpses of white teeth gleaming from behind them.

"impressive," Adam hummed, and meant it. the cake was styled with exquisite detail he had no idea his friend was capable of. "you should be an artist or something, this is super cool."

Jonah grinned with pride. "I knew you'd think so." he held up his hand. Adam blinked. Jonah blinked back, and after a moment whispered, "give me a high five."

"oh," Adam said. he flashed a smile and did just that.

Jonah's parents watched the children from a distance.

birthdays after that passed in a blur. Jonah was no longer allowed to decorate birthday cakes. Evelin came into Adam's life. the "party" part of "birthday party" began to fade. his friends would still get him presents, but for a while birthdays held almost no meaning- just another day of his life, nothing important, certainly nothing to celebrate.

and then there was Adam Murray's sixteenth birthday.

his sixteenth birthday was his favorite. it was a freezing January day, the kind of cold that could easily give you hypothermia if you stayed out in it too long, the kind of cold that made tongues stick to telephone poles, the kind of cold that made your joints go stiff and brittle, enough that maybe just a little bit of pressure would make them snap-

Jonah was the first awake that day, since he was gone when Adam sat up, still cocooned in the navy blue sleeping bag on the other boy's bedroom floor. Jonah's parents had decided that they were too old to sleep in the same bed during sleepovers anymore, and the couch was too far away downstairs, so sleeping bags it was.

"Jonah?" the blonde called out, swirling blue eyes like the sky on snow trailing across the room. empty.

and then he came trudging in, beaming from ear to ear, donning a thick winter coat that was a little too big and tracking snow through the house with his snowboots, which he hadn't bothered to take off. "Adam! you're awake! great, come on, come on come on."

without further warning, the other boy took Adam's arm, dragged him to his feet, and out they went. the blonde let out a yelp, struggling to free himself and throw on a coat and some shoes before they went outside.

"what are you-" Adam tried to start, but Jonah froze to the spot, closed his eyes, and placed a finger to his friend's lips. "shhhh. shshshsh shhhh shh. it'll ruin the surprise."

Adam kept his mouth shut, rolling his eyes and trying to hide his smirk.

"so, y'know how you're sixteen and all now?" Jonah remarked conversationally as the duo stepped outside, putting a hand over Adam's eyes. he tried to push the other's hand away, but Jonah held fast, harshly whispering "stop, you can't see it yet." and he stopped struggling. "welll, I figured, hey, maybe now's a great time to show him... THIS!"

he lifted his hands from Adam's eyes and the boy blinked, momentarily blinded by the dazzling white snow. his pupils shrank for a moment to accommodate, and then there it was.

"oh."

Jonah was somehow beaming wider now, cheeks and nose flushed with red from the cold, breath misting in the frigid air. "sooo? whatdya think?"

it was... a van. silvery-black and sleek with a new paint job, glistening like something unearthly against the clear blue sky and stark white snow.

"oh, wow."

Jonah excitedly rapped on the hood with a mitten-sheathed hand, eyes sparkling as brightly as the van was. "I found this old girl in a junkyard a while back- remember?? and I got Dad to get a tow truck to bring it back here and I was keeping it a secret 'cause I wanted to surprise you and aren't you surprised? isn't it awesome?"

Adam cracked a grin.

"it is awesome. I mean- holy shit, Jonah. you did this all yourself?" he leaned closer, peering at his reflection in the window before his eyes refocused to see the interior.

Jonah's glee was all-consuming, giddiness pouring out of him like sunshine, and Adam let himself bask in it while his friend rambled on about technical jargon and engineering manuals and months of trying to find the right parts and-

"and today's the test drive! if you think you're up for it."

"I don't have a license."

"neither do I!" Jonah grinned, devious and yet innocent. "I've scooted it around a little, I think it handles pretty well, but it's your sweet sixteenth. you only get one of these. I want you to do the honors."

"what if I crash it?" he could imagine it; the vehicle slamming into a wall or guardrail, metal crunching, glass shattering, leatherette seats melting into flesh, bones cracking under the weight of the impact-

"you're not going anywhere," Jonah chuckled, wrapping a warm arm around Adam, so unaware. "just around the block. if you go too fast or anything I'll tell you to slow down, don't worry."

with that, he slid the keys into Adam's hands. they were still warm from his pocket, his eyes still wide in anticipation.

Adams fingers curled around the metal as it cooled in the air, meeting Jonah's eyes with a smile of his own. "alright, if you're sureee- RACE YOU TO THE VAN!"

"wh- HEY!" Jonah yelped, almost tripping over himself in the snow as he flailed, trying to grab the back of Adam's hoodie. "UNFAIR, I WASN'T READY!"

"BETTER CALL SHOTGUN!" the blonde hollered back, skidding into a sharp turn and grabbing the driver's side door.

"THERE'S ONLY TWO OF US!" Jonah complained back, kicking up snow in his wake as he nearly slammed his weight into the door. the boy's hair - dyed dark purple this month - peeked out from under the hood of his puffy winter jacket, and as soon as he was in the passenger's seat he pulled his hood down and hummed a little, combing through his bedhead with his fingers.

Adam's fingers tingled with anticipation as he closed them around the steering wheel, feet feeling for the pedals. Jonah was taking driver's ed, and had given him a handful of sort of-driving lessons, enough that he knew to shift the gear into reverse to pull out of the driveway.

"CAREFUL! careful," his friend yelped. "don't forget to adjust the rearview mirror and shit so you don't hit anything."

Adam smirked. "right, because I'm taller than you."

Jonah sputtered indignantly for a second, then huffed and sank into his seat, pouting comically. "only 'cause of that random stupid growth spurt."

Adam shrugged, which involved closing his eyes, and Jonah screamed again as they nearly backed up over his parents' flowerbed.

after slowly edging the van around the block a few times (each successive round making Adam more confident in his driving ability, and Jonah less so), the duo switched seats and Jonah made a few more excited noises, flapping his hands a little before settling them on the steering wheel. Adam quirked an eyebrow at him.

"where are we going now?"

Jonah smiled. "another surprise, I'm afraid. now buckle up, buttercup."

they arrived at the cinema just as the movie Jonah had picked out to watch was starting.

"where'd you get enough money for tickets?" Adam asked, already half-knowing the answer. Jonah theatrically placed a hand to his chest, mocking a surprised expression.

"Adam!" he exclaimed, draping an arm around his friend's shoulders and falling back with the other to his forehead. "I'm surprised you think so highly of me!"

they snuck in, blending with the crowd and hiding their faces with their hoodies. the movie itself - something called The Butterfly Effect - wasn't great; it was an interesting premise involving amnesia and time travel, but that was the extent of the praise.

"BOO!" Adam shouted, hands cupped around his mouth to make his voice echo. Jonah laughed and threw a discarded bucket of popcorn at the screen. security came and kicked them out, but the teens didn't stop laughing even as they were shoved back out into the bitter cold.

Jonah, doubled over, finally regained his breath and inhaled deeply, wiping away his tears before they could freeze on his cheeks. Adam chuckled a little, gelid air rushing down the back of his throat. he stifled his laughter with a cough, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie after a minute.

"that was great," he'd come to say later, once he and Jonah got home, changed into something comfier, and flopped onto the couch, letting the radiator bring warmth back into their bones.

"no problem," his friend replied, flashing that winning smile again and looking to Adam with the same reverence his eyes had held when they first met. he held up a hand, and Adam moved to high-five it.

that had been his favorite birthday. seventeen was fine, eighteen was fine - that party had been at the BPS' new headquarters, and yeah, that was pretty cool - and from there things only got worse.

and now Jonah's gone. it's still cold and snowing outside, but it's dark and deep. this cold has claws that are all too happy to slit a throat.

it swallows down the bile rising in its mouth, shuffling around in the dark and adjusting the old, worn blanket over its shoulders. it's been two days since what happened at the house, but its ribs still ache and its throat still burns.

somewhere in the other room, Thatcher and Evelin are asleep in their respective spots, Thatcher on one side of his couch and Evelin on the other. it remembers almost thinking Thank God when it found out Evie was safe before catching itself, because there was no God to hear it and anything that did would be considerably less friendly.

it remembers begging them to just lock it in the closet or something, but the other two had for some inexplicable reason decided that they would be fine on the couch, and "you can have the bedroom, Adam, it's okay. we can block up the door fine, and you deserve a comfortable place to sleep as much as any of us."

it doesn't. it doesn't deserve any of this. it deserves to be brought out back and shot until it can't hurt anyone ever again. it deserves the fate Jonah didn't- to die out in the snow, alone, forgotten. it deserves to be hurt in all the ways it hurt everyone around it.

its hands curl around the fabric over its chest, a spare hoodie Thatcher had lying around. it fits surprisingly well, and was a reluctantly welcome change from the... open-ness of before, sitting shirtless in the corner. there were no dark corners to fold into and hide away, nowhere to disappear to, nothing to shield it from the outside world. it was awful, being exposed like that. it deserved the discomfort, yes, but that had never made it feel better.

despite the fact that there's a bed in the room, it had still refused to sleep in it, instead opting to have a blanket and some pillows on the floor. it doesn't even need to sleep, why should it have a bed for it? monsters don't have beds.

there's a little tap on the door.

"Adam?"

the stolen name whisps into the bedroom like something physical, a reminder of the human boy that lost his life to further the plans of a false God. its chest feels heavy.

"I'm awake," it says, instead of echoing Evelin's words back at her. her voice tasted wrong in its mouth anyways. "what's up?"

there's a little tug. a thin thread of string connecting them, and Thatcher, and every alternate, and everyone else with M.A.D. in the universe. Evelin shifts to lean her back against the wall on the other side of the door, and it listens to her heartbeat through the wood.

"can't sleep. you?"

it shakes its head, and she half-feels it. it adjusts its heartbeat so that they're in unison. "nope."

there's a light, bitter laugh. quiet enough not to wake Thatcher, loud enough that it imprints itself into Adam's bones, and for a moment it can almost pretend that it does deserve his name.

"it's almost 12 AM," Evelin breathes. there's a quality to her voice, like a mourner at a funeral. it drips through the cracks of Adam's mind. "it's almost January 18th."

its stomach twists into a knot. "I'm sorry."

"it's okay, Adam. I'm sorry that you're turning 21 while... all this is going on."

they sit in silence for a moment. the digital clock on Thatcher's nightstand changes from 11:59 PM to 12:00 AM. Evelin gets up, presses her hand against the door. Adam moves to do the same, and it's almost like their fingertips are touching.

"happy birthday."

"I don't have a birthday," it tries to say. "it's just a date I stole from some kid with his whole life ahead of him. he should be alive right now, not me. Jonah should be alive right now, too. and Lynn. birthdays are a simple, human thing. nothing about me is simple or human."

"what about humans is simple?" Evelin asks, looking up as though looking to the stars, or looking to the red fruit hanging just within reach over her head. "you're not a monster, Adam. you had no way of knowing. and when you found out, instead of going with their plans for you, you fought back. are fighting back."

"but Jonah's-"

"I know. it's not okay. but we're going to stop this before anyone else gets hurt. and it's not your fault. being human isn't about- it's not biology. it's about heart. you can have humanity. you can have love. you can have friends. you can have birthdays."

their hands are still pressed against both sides of the door. he feels the air in his lungs, the wood against his skin, the blanket around his shoulders. "why are you so good at this."

"I used to date you, you idiot. I know you. plus, everyone's brains are kind of melting right now. it's hard not to be empathetic."

he wipes away the tears he's sure they're sharing, pulls away reluctantly. "thank you."

"maybe when it gets light out we can throw together a cake. or something cake-adjacent." she laughs, just a bit. "good night, Adam. happy birthday."

"night, Ev."

he finds himself smiling a little, through the tears. happy birthday.

love. friends. birthdays. such simple, human things.

#I'm so normal about them your honor (LIES LIES LIES LYING LIAR)#I hope this hurts you all severely <333 #the mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue fic #adam murray #lynn murray #jude murray #jonah marshall #evelin miller #thatcher davis

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