#joker: guess I'll have to kill the third one to see

[malfiora]

This is Dick Robin

Batman: The New Adventures #416

Joker shoots him at point blank range in the shoulder, pretty close to his heart, and months later Dick pops up as Nightwing. (And Joker knows that Nightwing = Robin 1.)

Then, of course, Joker kills Jason and years later he comes back as Red Hood, and he knows this.

So Joker definitely thinks these kids are cryptid immortals or something

[somethingpersonarelated]

Akechi's taste in Literature

I've taken an interest in the books Akechi reads. Obviously from the first time you talk with him, you can already tell what he tends to: psychology, philosophy, and mythos. Also, I read at least a little bit from every text. One of my professors out there is proud of me. I hope. So: let's talk about it!

Ok, but why care? Quick Introduction

No particular reason. I simply want to tinker with his brain. I think it could give us insight on the character! And there's an easy way to dismiss this conversation: Akechi uses books as a way to appear intelligent. I don't think that's wrong per se, but he does express an interest in psychology and philosophy in his third semester Jazz Jin discussions. His thieves den conversations also point to interests in mythos. Use this as a "Annoying Person Bookshelf" if you'd like, I certainly will.

Aristole's De Anima (Mementos Mission - Chapter 3)

De Anima, or "On the Soul" [Leob Classical Library], is an examination of the soul and how it functions within the body. It's pretty dense but easily accessible. On page 15,

"There are times when men show all the symptoms of fear without any cause of fear being present. If this is the case, then clearly the affections of the soul are formulae expressed in matter."

Now, I'm not going to read every book, that would be a huge investment. And unfortunately I am still a university student, so I'll stick to the introduction/first chapters or so. But anyways, to the point of the quote, De Anima tends to get metaphysical. Theory time: Akechi has morbid fascinations with the soul. Not only because he well, kills people, but also messes with the restraints on their heart. I choose this quote because it's a good summary of the kind of body horror someone messing with you in the metaverse is like. It's fear and anger unchained, but it manifests in reality through subway accidents... for example.

Hegel's Dialectics (did Akechi misquote Hegel?) - Rank 1

Look, almost all of these texts are slogs to get through, so I wouldn't blame Akechi for not catching this. Or not reading the 2017 in-universe equivalent of cliffnotes. Note: Dialectics refers to the structure/strategy that Hegel uses, not a text itself. Looking at the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy we see that Hegel never makes mention of the thesis, antithesis, and synthesis idea. Rather, thesis-antithesis-synthesis is a pattern in his arguments. These are also projected by people reading his text, so we can't fully be sure he's using this to formulate most of his arguments. So not only has Akechi forgotten synthesis, the "unification", but also the fact that Hegel doesn't talk about this. Did he read Hegel? Probably. Did he retain the information? Questionable. Do I blame the writers for making the mistake? mmmm. Maybe. If you're asking me to guess which book he read, I would estimate it was The Phenomenology of Spirit [Google Books]. And yes, I'm going to say it was just because of this quote on page 9 that just, screams Black Mask:

"The force of the mind is only as great as expression; its depth only as, as deep as its power to expand and lose itself when spending and giving out its substance."

Maurice Leblanc's Arsène Lupin vs Sherlock Holmes (Herlock Sholmes) (P5A)

This book I read because my curiosity definitely got the better of me. Since I've gotten into Persona 5 again, I've been DYING to read this one, but never got around to it. I think this one is also interesting to look at based on how it was represented in the anime, a crow escaping a bird cage. I can say that this doesn't happen in the book, but this is why I think Akechi is self inserting on Holmes/Sholmes here. Holmes is much freer as a person in this text than Akechi, but also in a deep rivalry with Lupin. Their banter is also pretty reminiscent of what they [Joker and Akechi] have, but... with older language. Longer quote, so here's an image in its place:

Edit/Correction: Edogawa Ranpo's Kogoro Akechi Series!

As pointed out by a couple people, we can't leave out this series. (credits to @heavy-metal-papillon) I don't know why my mind blanked and left this out. Because when I was doing research for this post someone had mentioned it. Just by name, it should be obvious why this is here! Here is a part of the preface that explains Kogoro Akechi, Arsene Lupin, and their presence in Edogawa's novels (written by Ho-Ling Wong):

Literature he makes references but doesn't mention (note: headcanon/my opinion)

John Stuart Mill's On Utilitarianism

Because Akechi knows how to flirt, he recommends philosophy to Joker. [Early Modern Texts] In my eyes he definitely doesn't agree with this philosophy (in fact some quotes are definitely more aligned with Maruki's philosophy). Page 8:

"That’s because the utilitarian standard is not •the agent’s own greatest happiness but •the greatest amount of happiness altogether; and even if it can be doubted whether a noble character is always happier because of its nobleness, such a character certainly makes other people happier, and the world in general gains immensely from its existence."

Yes, Akechi reads Freud. Freud's essays: Beyond the Pleasure Principle & The Ego Principle

In an offhanded comment about Personas in the Thieves Den to Ryuji, Akechi says:

I love you Akechi. I will not read Freud for you. My love has limits.

Carl Jung's Two Essays on Analytical Psychology

Okay I'm NOT reading this (a lie, i did. [Internet Archive]) but this was the foundational text on the Jungian Archetype of the Persona as well as addressing concepts such as "the will to power." Going to leave this quote from page 78 for you to munch on:

"Logically, the opposite of love is hate, and of Eros, Phobos (fear); but psychologically it is the will to power. Where love reigns, there is no will to power; and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking. The one is but the shadow of the other..."

There's a couple things here that point to Akechi reading this, but ultimately I just headcanon that he wants to reason through why Personas exist.

Generally reads about the casts Personas!

Similarly to how Joker can read about the other PTs Personas, Akechi does as well. Well, if his morbid discussion about Captain Kidd in the Thieves Den is an indicator. Does this mean Akechi is familiar with the Carmen stage opera? I think so. Besides, it's also the smartest move. Akechi (head)canonically reads lovecraft.

Conclusion

Akechi really enjoys psychology and philosophy, and while some of it seems like he's doing it for attention/to appear smarter, he DOES continue to show interest in third-semester/thieves den. I still can't forgive him for reading Freud.

The List (of ones directly mentioned here)

De Anima, Aristotle

The Phenomenology of Spirit, Hegel

Arsène Lupin vs Sherlock Holmes, Leblanc

On Utilitarianism, John Stuart Mill

Beyond the Pleasure Principle & The Ego Principle, Freud

Two Essays, Carl Jung

The Fiend with Twenty Faces, Edogawa Ranpo

Other notes and headcanons I can't justify giving sections to:

he probably read that fuckass billiards book

definitely stuff on justice. i was just lazy. Some of these texts do cover these ideas, but definitely not all of them

he likes detective novels. he's probably read a fair share of sherlock holmes.

he probably reads adjacent literature to some of the philosophers mentioned (for example: Nietzsche to Jung, Plato to Aristotle)

[sonicman66]

Punchline

This one's not even a crossover, just an idea for a Batman story. \

Start off following the Joker breaking out of Arkham. Its a usual breakout, some props are used, there's a few dead or gassed guards lying around, he makes it into the city and he's plotting out his new heist/joke/evil deed. In the dead of night he sees oncoming lights and dives out into the street to commandeer the car.

And the car slams right into him.

In the car is a completely normal person, not anybody big or with a complicated backstory or anything at all, just Joe Schmoe realizing exactly what just happened. They look terrified and also surprised. They just hit the Joker. There's a beat, and then they put the car in reverse.

Cut to an emergency services dispatcher getting a call, has this weird tone of voice, but they've heard a lot and honestly nothing surprises them (until now). Convo goes something like this.

"911 what would you like to report?" "Yeah, I uh, I hit a guy. With my car." "Alright, i'll send an ambulance over with the police-" "Oh, ambulance won't be needed. I'm fine and he's- well. He's not getting back up anytime soon." Wince from operator "What is the location of the accident? Are you certain he's dead-" "Oh yeah, I made sure. He was getting back up after the first one and twitchin after the second, but the third one popped his head like a grape." "Are you claiming that you murdered this man?" "I guess so? The first hit was an accident, and kinda not my fault, i mean the guy actually jumped in front of my car shoutin some nonsense, but everything after that was to make sure he stayed down." "The police are on their way, please remain where you are and cooperate when they arrive, things will be much easier if you let them do their jobs-" "Don't worry, i'm coming in quietly. Don't think I'll be safe on the streets once the Bat learns I killed the Joker." "YOU WHAT?!"

Cut to the officers arriving on the scene, standing with the driver, staring at the Joker's corpse. They have mixed reactions. Some of them are acting like a party just started, and are celebrating, some are concerned for the driver, one of them offers to let the driver go and claim that they 'ran off' and ensure any searches for them get backlogged bc come on man-

But the driver is adamant. They want to be taken in, because if the cops don't bring them in, then Batman will, and they like their kneecaps to remain intact, thank you very much.

Cut to them in an interrogation room. They're getting the Nice Cops treatment from everyone that isn't outright cheering for them. Whoever's questioning them is being polite but also by the book, getting the whole incident down. The driver's explanation of their mental reasoning for backing up and hitting the Joker again is something like this.

"I'm not gonna pretend that I had some grand epiphany but when I saw him getting back up, I realized that at this point the best case scenario is that the Joker carjacks me and kills me quickly. The worst case scenario, he carjacks me and makes me the centerpiece of his next big thing, all because I pissed him off. If I drive off, there's no way he won't go out and try and find me and then i'm guaranteed the worst case. So I figure, 'what the hell, in for a penny' and decide to finish what I started."

When Batman inevitably hears and does a threatening interrogation/conversation, the driver isn't unfazed, but they're upfront about it. They don't deny Bats' whole 'You're a killer' thing, avoids the moral discussion. Instead, they just go "Yeah, I killed somebody, but I plan to serve my time. I don't think i'm some hero or badass because I killed the clown. All I know is that now nobody will have to wake up afraid that they'll be Joker Gassed on the subway, or turned into playing cards, or some other fucked up joke by a guy who'll get put in a paper prison after he's caught. I didn't do 'the right thing', but I did something necessary."

Pleads guilty in a trial if they don't go for first-degree murder, and quietly serves their time. Avoids joining any gangs or companies in jail, because "No sir mr. cobblepot, I'm not interested in joining your 'enterprise', whether it be legal or otherwise, I really just want to go back to a normal life, I appreciate the offer, honest-" and appreciates the various gift baskets they get (Harley sent a cake with a razor sticking out of it, Ivy sent a plant that was quietly returned, and they got one from Red Hood that had a note on it offering to break em out for free (rejected)).

[found-family-tournament]

that other person be wild because there's a difference between kasumi/sumire. i mean yeah no spoilers but it's actually important though. well imma be honest here and explain the kasumi/sumire thing. for persona 5 royal you meet the character kasumi only to realize with in game janurary, that the character you think is kasumi is actually her twin sister sumire. basically sumire and kasumi are identical twins with kasumi being the older sibling (though like kasumi had more browner hair compared to sumire's red hair). there was a car accident in april where kasumi passes away. sumire had always been jealous of her sister so during an argument she runs off without paying attention to where she goes. sumire runs into traffic without knowing but her sister kasumi pushes her away and then dies because of it. sumire blames herself. she loves her sister but hates how kasumi was so perfect. so she like heavily grieves and the therapist is like "oh if you become kasumi, it might make you feel better" or something among those words and then sumire's cognition changes and she essentially thinks she's kasumi. the sumire introduces herself to others as kasumi and even if you call her sumire, she thinks you're calling her kasumi. but yeah she's traumatized.

but yeah where am i going with this, technically kasumi wasn't a phantom thief but sumire. i think to not spoil others, fandom ppl just refer to sumire as sumi (as her sister's name also had sumi in there).

i kinda posted comment on that poll but like atlus did not do a good job at integrating her within the phantom thieves group. she was a good concept but execution of her character was bad in relation to the group. she only really interacts with joker (protagonist guy), kinda morgana but not that much, and akechi who hates the phantom thieves and was trying to kill joker at one point. atlus could've put her more with the other phantom thieves but they chose not to and that was bad writing on their part. and i feel like found family would interact with everyone in the group not just one person.

i think if sumire was in her own separate game like sophia and zenkichi were, it would've been more convincing to have her in the group because sumire only helps them during that one part whereas sophia and zenkichi helped the phantom thieves in multiple times in their spinoff game with helping them get into certain events, post up calling cards, and gather information. sumire didn't do any of that really other than guide them to the third semester thing in royal.

but yeah much drama over who really is in the phantom thieves tbh. if anything you can just put down the main 8 (joker, ryuji, ann, morgana, yusuke, makoto, futaba, haru) and just call it a day because man is it really controversial

Oh damn. Well, I am learning way more about persona 5 than I ever thought I would, lol. It's pretty interesting tho.

Thank you for the clarification!! :)

Also, what kind of therapist suggest that?! That's fucking wild.

Sad to hear that they apparently didn't execute her character well, that always sucks. :/

Yeah, I guess we'll see how the polls turn out and then I'll decide what to do.

[crinosg]

Lois lane: *Angrily stomps into Amanda Waller's office*

Amanda Waller: Ah, Mrs Kent, or did you keep your last name? Anyway what can I do for...

Lane: *Slaps Waller across the face*

Waller: *Stands up* NOW SEE HERE, WHO DO YOU THINK....

Lane: STOP. PUTTING. THINGS. IN SUPERMAN'S. ASS.

Waller:....oh.

Lane: THE THIRD TIME WALLER. THE. THIRD. TIME. SUPERMAN HAD TO GO TO THE BATCAVE AND HAVE BATMAN EXTRACT THE CORPSE OF AN INCH HIGH ASSASSIN ARMED WITH A SEWING NEEDLE LACED WITH KRYPTONITE.

Waller: Can we maybe close the door and talk about this more quietly.

Lane: NO I DON'T THINK SO. LETS TALK LOUDER IN FACT. I WANT EVERYONE HERE TO KNOW JUST EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE DOING HERE. I WANT THEM TO KNOW WHAT OUR TAX MONEY IS BEING USED FOR."

Waller:.. Lois, please. Can we just breath for a minute?

Lane: ....*Sits down* Okay fine, but you are not off the look.

Waller: Okay first of all, what makes you think it was us?

Lane: Prankster doesn't have access to that technology. Brainiac would never try anything so idiotic, Mr. Mxysptlk has more class than that, and Lex wouldn't have tried three times. He'd be satisfied after the first attempt failed.

Waller: I mean there's always Darkseid.

Lane: WALLER.

Waller: Okay fine its me. But its not what you think.

Lane: We had a ceremony for them you know. Every time you do this Superman buries them in a little shoe box in the back.

Waller:....Of the fortress of solitude?

Lane:....Yeah lets go with that.

Waller: Actually fuck it, cards on the table I know he's Clark Kent.

Lane: Then you can probably understand why I'm so PISSED OFF.

Waller: But I have a good reason.

Lane: No, you know what I'm sick of this. Clark is the nicest guy on the planet. He has never done anything except help people and what do you do? Constantly try and kill him.

Waller: You don't understand....

Lane: I mean there are alien warlords and murderous clowns and immortal assassin lords and you spend your time on Superman? You know if you spent half as much time dealing with the Joker as you did Clark then Batman might have a goddamn social life.

Waller: We were trying to castrate your husband.

Lane:...what?

Waller: Short version, after you had a kid with Superman, we realized that it might be very bad for us if you kept having kids, because one of them might fall far from the tree if you get my meaning. The last thing we want is a super delinquent running around.

Lane: So, let me understand this right. You are attempting to castrate my husband, without his knowledge or consent, by shoving tiny men up his ass.

Waller:....an incredibly absurd way to put it but essentially, yes.

Lane:......

Waller:.....I'm guessing the explanation doesn't make it any better does it?

Lane: *flips over Waller's desk* ANGRY GODZILLA NOISES

Waller: SECURITY!

*After Lois gets escorted off the premises*

Waller: So that was a fun morning.

Guard: We got her to leave. Finally, Superman came to pick her up, but she seemed really angry.

Waller: She can't touch us, I'll kill any story she tries to publish about this.

Guard: Still though, maybe we should ease off messing with Superman for the time being.

Waller: See that right there? That is 'getting demoted to Superman ass duty' talk soldier.

Guard: Aw man.

I'm sure that would always weigh on Ray. The fact that his technology would rightfully make it so he never has to work a day in his life ...so long as he never questions what people would DO with it Action Comics 435

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | A MYSTERIOUS INTERLUDE

first time reader click here

This is a scrapped chapter. Originally, I was planning to 1) give Reader a longer, more intense destructive streak before her ending up with Tony. I planned three or so chapters that involved an abusive Quentin Beck, but, ultimately decided that to be too cliché. 2) I had planned to write at least 30% of the fanfic in Tony's/third person POV. This chapter would have been number 11/12 - Tony would have rejected her advances in the lab & she would have got hooked on Beck's charming facade.

Why am I publishing this? It seems like a waste if effort to shelf it, plus, it's Tony's POV. You can skip it since it has no relation/bearing on the current story. Just a tiny "what might have been" tidbit.

It was a moment's notice. One second, they're standing in a group, laughing, soaking in the warmth from the fireplace, chattering amongst themselves, telling tall tales and sipping their liquor. It all goes black briefly, and then they are surrounded by darkness - it's nearly impenetrable, so thick that their voices echo in it.

Tony's body was encompassed by the nanotech suit immediately after his eyes and his brain adjusted to the rapid change of surroundings. His teammates, too, had their skills honed on an instinctive level - the faint thump of Mjölnir in Thor's hands, the golden-green glow of his brother's magic, whirring of Barnes' prosthetic arm. Steve's shield stayed tucked behind the living room couch but his enhanced physique and readiness to fight 24/7 has him covering the unenhanced Clint and Natasha in mere seconds.

Tony was mostly angry rather than afraid. The team was having a good time at his party and the chance encounters of weird shit like this had been reduced to nearly zero percent possibility thanks to Friday's screening process: supervillains, Hydra agents and the likes strictly prohibited on Stark-owned premises.

It was a strange coincidence Banner had to take a break to check up on one of his experiments not even five minutes before the rest of the team was experiencing the strange change in scenery. Speaking of Strange, the sorcerer also was nowhere to be seen - Tony distinctively remembered seeing Stephen ten feet away from the bar, engaged in a hearty debate with the lead of SI's Medical Engineering department.

"This is not magic," Wanda piped up from behind him, confused. "I don't feel anything on the usual frequency. It sounds more like Friday humming in the walls, like electricity."

Good to know, Tony thought. It was nice having someone who was familiar with the undiscovered side of science - after all, Tony had always considered anything 'magical' to be science he had not personally understood yet. Wanda's most redeeming quality in Tony's eyes was the fact that more often than not she seemed to be as clueless as everyone else when it came to her powers and didn't act so high and mighty as some other people. Cloaked people, and horned people, for example.

"The fuck, man? I was hoping, just one evening, one normal evening with my beer and wings," Clint whined. Tony could hear Natasha huffing in annoyed agreement.

"Mr. Stark, what are we going to do?" His very own spider-child, on the other hand, sounded distraught. Peter's voice has this funny thing it does when the boy is upset but tries to hide it: it quivers on the vowels, wobbles slightly.

Tony had to blindly grope the air for a moment before his arm found Peter's shoulder. The boy was shivering and took the offered comfort eagerly, folding into the older man.

"Okay, whoever is pulling this stunt, my advice is: don't," Tony sighed, 12 000% Done With This Shit™, exclaiming loudly. "If that's a prank, stop it or speak up. If you got beef, then you got some nerve doing this in my tower. Show yourself."

He could feel the fine hairs on his neck stand up as the team tensed next to him, readily gearing up to pounce. Peter was vibrating in Tony's arms and the billionaire suddenly remembered the curious side-effects of Peter's powers, the spidey-sense. It must have been going absolutely haywire - the kid nearly hyperventilated himself into a heart attack.

"Stark, I must apologise for the uncomfortable circumstances. Believe me, it was a necessity - you always demand attention, whereas I need people to pay attention to me for a moment. Don't worry, you'll get yours when the time is due."

The voice was vaguely familiar. Male, slightly nasal but quiet and creeping. Insinuating. It lacked the usual boisterous bravado of a mid-grade bad guy, Tony had to take an educated guess that the owner of the mysterious voice was well-off, white. Privileged. No hint of desperation in it, as if the man was pitying everybody.

"The fuck? Q, is that you?"

Oh shit, Tony realized in muted horror. She must've been hanging around somewhere in their vicinity - which wasn't unusual, the girl usually orbited around Barnes, Wanda, Peter or Bruce. All of whom were present at the party. Tony had forgotten about her, to his shame, somehow having had automatically assumed she trotted out of the room on Bruce's heels. His science bro and her acted like conjoined twins when it came to their scientific ventures.

"Stop talking," The man growled, the voice suddenly coming from a very different direction. Tony heard a distinctively feminine yelp, albeit muffled. Peter violently jerked in Tony's arms. The engineer put the superstrength of his suit to use, holding the teenager down.

"Aw, hell no!" She yelled, the indignant shrieking followed by the sound of a moist palm slapping something glass...y? "What the fuck? I am asking you again. Are you... Oh my God, are you wearing a fishbowl on your head? Ow, motherfu-" The rest of the sentence is muffled, garbled. Whoever this "Q" was, she obviously knew him and he had silenced her. And, apparently, Q had an uncanny choice of headwear.

Tony was sure the rest of the team had followed his lead on doing a spit-take. They've fought enough supervillains with more than questionable fashion sense but a fishbowl? That was new.

"Be quiet, baby. It's for your own good. I don't want to hurt you if I can help it," The Fishbowl chastised her.

Tony's confusion once again returned to irritation at the frivolous way the villain addressed his science buddy. Peter's friend would have been more accurate but Tony had put her into the 'science bro' category not too long ago. They were close, as much as they could be, with the age gap and totally different interests and... The immense amount of guilt Tony felt for his attraction towards the girl. He was a dirty old man and she was barely an adult.

Every damn day Tony did his best to avoid making a shiny, big, new problem. Yet her brains and her wit and the uncanny ability to pull anybody into a conversation had a firm hold on his attention.

"Leave her alone," Stark angrily declared, powering up a repulsor. "What do you want? Party crashing isn't allowed in my tower anymore."

"What I want, Stark, is for you to give credit where it's due," The man answered simply, giving Tony just enough time to shove Peter behind him towards Natasha and take a tentative step forward.

The soft glow emanating from the repulsor illuminated barely two inches around his hand. The darkness surrounding it seemed to swallow the light. Tony moved on quiet feet towards the voice, easily avoiding furniture. His memory was good and he knew his tower, his home, better than anyone else.

"Did I hear that correctly, you're accusing me of plagiarism?" Tony tried for indignant, hoping to provoke the man into an inevitable, drawn-out speech where he lists all the wrongs Tony ever did him, giving the team precious time to regroup and form some semblance of a plan.

"Yes," Q simply answered, pausing for a second. "I hope you enjoy your next adventure. It certainly will show you the potential of my creation."

Tony shared a muted sound of confusion with the rest of the team.

"Q, I am very disappointed," To Tony's horror, th girl stared talking again. She sounded somewhat breathless, and closer to him than before. "Stop it with the dick measuring contest, you're a grown ass man. Go work for OsCorp, or Hammer, drink your sorrows away." She sounded so tired. And even closer to him.

"This is not a dick measuring contest!" Q roared suddenly and wow, that man was unstable. "This was my life's work, my creation, he insulted, berated and threw away!"

"I get it, I really get the whole 'being discarded and thrown away' thing," She replied, somewhat sarcastically. "But you know what? I'll be damned and I'll be fucked if I give some piece of shit any more of my undivided attention. They don't want me? Fine, they can fuck off and take their complaints with them." Her speech was periodically interrupted by shuffling noises.

Tony didn't dare to interrupt, seeing now the possibility of Q being actually calmed down by a teenager (probably) quoting some teen drama TV show.

"But going full Joker? You're a brilliant man, Quen, I wouldn't even look at you twice if not for your brains and your baby blues, however I don't fuck with the bad guys. That shit kills," The hand that rested on the wrist cuff of Tony's suit unmistakably belonged to her. She had the remnants of some sort of wire around it, sleek and quicksilver-shiny, irritating the tender skin under it. "And I want to live. You've gone and pissed off an entire crew of supers and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think, Quen," There was genuine sadness in her voice.

Tony stood silent in confusion.

Whoever this Quen was, they obviously shared a close relationship. Tony's brain ran through the list of her friends, her relatives - there was nobody named Q, Quen or even remotely similar. Natasha had mentioned a possible boyfriend at some point but the man sounded too old for that, he was at least thirty. Or maybe? Tony wouldn't put it completely past the girl, if judging by the blatant way she flirted with Bruce. With himself.

"Baby, this is not about you. I don't want to hurt you," Quen replied, a hysterical edge to his voice. Something began flickering in the distance, attracting Tony's attention to the shape of a man with a round sort of helmet and a red, billowing cape (hello, 2012-Thor!).

"Too late, Quen. You've tied me up and you went on to attack my friends. I've already told you that if you yell at me one more time, I will leave you. So I guess this is it," Her voice broke at the end, pitiful sniffles following the statement.

Tony watched the exchange, mildly uncomfortable and very concerned. The man yelled at her? That was absolutely unacceptable, however, what else could one expect from a maniac with a flair for the dramatic?

The girl bodily placed herself in front of Tony, standing, doing nothing but rubbing her wrists. It was then that the engineer noticed Q nearing them, the shape becoming distinctively closer. And - yep, there it was - the fishbowl on his head. It completely obscured him, making his face invisible, unrecognisable.

The man seemed rather fixated on the girl standing in front of Tony. He floated in front of her, ignoring Tony, taking her bound hands in his own. A brief click and a hiss later, her wrists were released and the contraption fell freely to the floor where it landed with an oddly heavy thud. Tony hoped there was no lead in that thing - supervillains were dangerous but lead poisoning was cancerous and fatal.

"Baby..." Quen timidly touched her face with a leather-bound glove. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry." Tony took the chance to examine the man's costume. If anything, it looked somewhat steampunk-y? There was a lot of bronze, and the chest brace had some sort of glowing lines on it. Power storage units?

She stared up, towards the man's hidden face. "M'sorry, Quen," She mumbled, going in for a hug. Or that's what Tony thought. The majestic cape that billowed behind Quen was unceremoniously yanked from his body as the girl ducked, covering herself with it, yelling: "TONY, NOW, SHOOT, SHOOT!"

Tony did just that, shot Quen flat in the chest and the man stumbled backwards, tripping on the cape - such a stupid, unexpected thing. But Tony knew, his girl was clever and resourceful. Pride swelled in his chest as he shot the man again, Rogers running out from behind him blindly, body-slamming Quen into the ground for good measure. Two hundred pounds of supersoldier later, the battle was over before it even started.

"No!" The villain shouted as Steve pressed and popped the hilarious glass contraption on his head. The accessory was no match for the Captain's super strength. Tony immediately recognised the man as his former employee, Quentin Beck, and it clicked for him. It was totally a personal vendetta.

"This stuff is tough, plexiglass, maybe," The Captain remarked, pointing at the scattered shards around Beck's head. "It appears to be augmented too, some kind of tech, I don't know. You're good at this, Tony," Steve chuckled humorlessly, roughly turning Beck around and securing his hands with a pair of vibranium-reinforced handcuffs. God only knew where he'd gotten those from.

"Good at what? Making enemies?" Stark couldn't resist the self-depricating joke.

"Stop it, Tony," Natasha's gently admonishing voice interrupted Steve's incoming lecture. Tony, for once, was thankful that the Widow interrupted. He was in no mood to listen to another one of Steve's speeches.

"Who do you work for?" That deadly gleam in Natasha's eyes was terrifying and Beck was only a man.

"I don't work for anyone but myself, thanks to Stark," He spat venomously.

Natasha cocked an eyebrow in Tony's direction.

"Fired him years ago, this guy was going nuts. Brilliant but crazier than a bag of cats," Tony replied, feigning nonchalance. He could feel a mild headache begin to gnaw at his skull. "We worked on a project together, he got upset that I refused to weaponize it. We had a falling out. End of story." With that, Tony stood up, retracing his suit to only leave the gauntlets on his hands, gathered the various pieces of tech the good captain had removed from Beck's persona and made way towards the nearest table.

Or where he thought it was. All of them were still surrounded by the uncanny darkness. The anxiety that Tony forcefully shut down reared it's ugly head as soon as he lost physical touch with his teammates. He stumbled, his foot catching onto something on the ground.

"Ow, motherfucker!"

"Buttercup, I haven't fucked your mother nor I plan to," He snarked back automatically, flooded with relief at the sound of the familiar voice.

"Hope so. She'd probably bite your dick off if you try," A hand was groping his calf and then she stood up in front of him, still clutching the ridiculous cape. It appeared to be a source of light, which was very strange. The girl looked positively demonic, illuminated by red light, face scrunched up, eyes puffy, and clothing in disarray.

"You good?" Tony managed to choke out, confusion and worry and anxiety making his chest tight.

"Balmy. My boyfriend is a homicidal maniac with an inferiority complex," She sassed, an edge of panic to her voice. "Oh, and he tried to kill one of my best friends. I am fine and dandy."

"Your boyfriend?" That was the only thing Tony heard. Bat-shit crazy Beck, his babygirl's boyfriend? There was no way in Hell he'd allow such a thing...

"My ex-boyfriend, I guess," She sighed, removing the cape from her persona. Refusing to meet his eyes, fiddling with the hem of her top. "Here," The girl abruptly thrust the cape at him. "This is a funny thing, it's like a hologram but you can actually touch it. You should, uh, probably disinfect it, or something. I've been on-uh, around it many times," It was so unlike her, the fumbling, the embarrassment, Tony wanted to wheel her straight to medical to check if she's gotten concussed again.

Then his brain caught up and all he saw was red. Figuratively and literally - the cape was still in his face, loosely hanging from her outstretched hand. She must've seen the look on his face.

The step she took back was quick and worrying. "Forget I said that, I don't know why I said that. Oh, god."

"What were you thinking?" Tony inhaled a solid lungful, prepared to make his opinion very clear. "Getting involved with a lunatic! For a second I actually thought you were smart, there isn't a chance you missed that the guy is short of a few marbles," His voice was quiet, the one of a calm fury. His words cut deeply and he could see the hurt, the shame in her eyes, on her face. Tony knew he'd regret it later however his brain insisted it was a necessary evil. He continued ranting until he ran out of breath. "Not to mention he's, what, twice your age? And he yells at you and tells you to shut up? It didn't ring any alarm bells in that pretty little head of yours?"

"Tony, stop," Steve's hand landed on the engineer's shoulder and he simply shrugged it off, staring at the quivering girl in front of him.

She was crying, silently, few tears pooling in her eyes and streaming down her cheeks, leaving ugly streaks in her make-up. Tony expected her to sass him, to argue back, to yell obscenities like she usually did when something or someone upset her but he was met with hurt, stunned silence. His worst fear came true when she looked away, shrugging.

He'd seen this sort of dejected shrug the time her father drugged her and... She just took it. She expected it, even, his outrage, his disappointment. Being hurt and mistreated was the norm for her, Tony realized belatedly. There were too many parallels between them both that made him uncomfortable deep inside. His chest felt tight, regret washing over him like a tsunami wave.

"I'm turning on the lights, close your eyes for maximum comfort," Strange's voice announced suddenly, causing everybody to jump and shudder. Tony complied begrudgingly. The sudden influx of light was painful even from behind closed eyelids. His headache became a full-on dull throb.

"What happened?" "Are you okay?" "Is everybody alive?" Resonated across the room. Tony spied several small drones smoking and crackling next to the exit door, Stephen Strange closing a portal he must've used to evacuate the civilians.

The puddle of red holographic cape on the floor. And her hastily retreating back. Damn.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

[n7inky-fanfics]

A Krogan Comes of Age and Shit Hits Hard

CW: PTSD & SH

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Pressing the keystone for the third time sends a jolt of dread straight through her body. The ground shakes beneath her feet in an all too familiar way, and in seconds it's there in front of her. A Thresher Maw. Shit! "Take cover!" She screams. She dives behind a column and her companions follow suit just in time to narrowly miss being hit by a spray of acid. Shit, shit, shit! Her breath is raw and frantic, and her head is spinning. For just a moment, she's not on Tuchanka anymore. Instead, she's on Akuze, hiding behind a rock while a maw sprays it's horrible acid at her. She's all alone and terrified and trying desperately to survive long enough to be rescued.

Then, she's snaps back into reality. Garrus is shouting to her "Shepard! Shepard, it's your call! What do you want to do?"

"We need to spread out. Grunt go left. Garrus go right. I'll take center. We need to take turns firing at it. When it starts turning to you, dive behind cover and wait for your turn again. Whatever you do, do not get hit by that acid! When it goes under, take the chance to reposition, reload, and apply medi-gel as needed. Go!"

She rolls out of cover and takes the first shots, firing continuously at it's face until diving behind a pillar at the last second. In that sane moment, Grunt picks it up, screaming as he shoots. It turns to face him and he barely makes it back to cover before Garrus is shooting, causing it to again turn. They continue like this, the three of them taking turns firing, keeping it busy and taking shots at apparent weak points. Finally, the maw shrieks one last time and falls to the ground, dead. Shepard puts her hands to her knees, panting her way through a wave of nausea.

All she wants is to go back to her cabin and shower away the smell of acid when Uvnek shows up, making snide comments that she's just not in the mood to take today. When he opens fire, she doesn't hesitate to return the favor and soon Clan Urdnot is down a few more Krogan. Sorry, Wrex.

After all is said and done, she finally returns to her ship. Garrus has been watching her closely since the maw, trying to see how badly it's shaken her. The last thing she wants right now is to open up in front of someone else. Not now, not with so many things causing her pain and worry. Opening the floodgates is a bad idea. To avoid his worried gaze, she excused herself immediately to her quarters.

As soon as the elevator stops on her level, she's tearing off pieces of her armor. She leaves it all dumped in a pile outside the door and rushes into the shower, still wearing her under armor. The smell of maw acid follows her. She peels off the wet clothes and scrubs them clean with the scented soap Cerberus left for her. She scrubs herself clean, too. Still, all she can smell is maw acid. She scrubs her skin harder and with more vigor, trying her best to eliminate every bit of that stench. Her skin, which is still thin and healing in some areas, breaks underneath her force, revealing cybernetic lights underneath her forearms. Blood pools in the wounds. Despite all that scrubbing, the stench is still there. This stupid body that isn't even fully hers won't let go of the smell.

"Damn it!" She screams so loudly her voice immediately goes raw. Her biotics flare blue around her fist and she punches the wall of the shower, leaving a massive dent. "Damn it" She cries again, running her fingers through her hair and sliding down to the shower floor. Her body shakes violently as she sobs. Her mind leaves this place, bringing her back to Akuze. She watches her friends die again. She watches herself flee the maws and scramble up a hill, only to fall and break several bones. She hears the crunch of her ankle shatter, feels the heat of the acid spraying the rock that saved her life. She hears herself weakly repeat the word "maws" over and over again in a desperate attempt to warn her rescuers of the danger ahead. Eventually, she finds herself back in her shower, and she becomes aware of the pain in her arms and the exhaustion throughout her body.

She pulls herself to her feet and turns off the shower, watching the last of the pink water run down the drain. She wraps herself in her towel and grabs a spare to help slow the bleeding at her forearms. "EDI, can you please discreetly send Dr. Chakwas up here with an injury kit?"

"Of course, Commander Shepard."

When Dr. Chakwas enters she quietly gets to work on Shepard's injuries. She applies medi-gel and covers each forearm with gauze. Eventually, she inhales deeply and asks "Commander, how did this happen?"

"I guess I scrubbed too hard in the shower." She shrugs. "Thank you for helping."

"I'm glad I could help, but Commander... be careful, please. You can talk to me if you ever need anything. Just keep in mind that your body is still healing, and your mind is, too. Be kind to yourself."

Shepard nods. "Thank you. Goodnight, Dr. Chakwas."

"Goodnight, Commander." She packs her kit and exits, leaving Shepard alone to get dressed and clean up.

After some cleanup, EDI says "Commander, Garrus is here. He would like to come in."

"Let him in, EDI. Thanks."

Garrus enters with a bottle of alcohol for Shepard and one for him. "Care for a drink?"

"Hell yeah." Shepard smiles, taking the bottle out of his hand and guiding him to sit with her on the couch. She cracks open her bottle and takes a great swig straight from it. "Long day."

"I'll say. Didn't know the Krogan had a coming of age ritual, or that it is so brutal. You'll be fending off Krogan suitors for years to come." He takes a sip and laughs.

"Yeah, that's what I get for killing a Thresher Maw on foot." She gulps down some more booze before continuing. "I saw you looking when we got back."

"I wasn't going to say anything-"

"Until you got me alone and comfortable enough to talk. Like right now."

"Okay, okay. You've got me. I'm just worried about you, as your friend."

"Hey, I kept it together just fine."

"You sure did, Shep. But noe there's nothing to keep it together for. Speaking of, what happened to your arms?"

"Thin skin and a hot shower don't mix. One of the many disadvantages of being recently resurrected and woken up still incomplete." She chuckles bitterly and chugs more of her alcohol.

"I have to admit, it was a shock, seeing you barreling down that bridge on Omega. I can't imagine how you feel." He places a hand on hers and gently looks her in the eyes. "I just want you to know that you're not alone. We're here for you. Joker, Chakwas, and I. We're here."

"Thanks, Garrus. Now, enough of the mushy stuff. Let's get drunk off our asses and laugh at stupid shit."

"Sounds good to me."

[doyelikehaggis]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Sophie Moore (Batwoman) x Freya Mikaelson (The Originals)

Requested by @the-demons-behind-your-smile

Freya ducks down behind the makeshift shelter Sophie's created from a long table. She nearly startles her, Sophie's hands already moving to raise her gun, but she quickly places a hand on her wrist.

Recognition comes, then Sophie sighs, briefly closing her eyes. "You really need to not sneak up on me, especially when we're literally trying to avoid being murdered by people we can't find."

"Couldn't find," Freya corrects, and procures the few strands of hair from her pocket. "I did a more basic but also slightly more complicated version of a locator spell and projected myself to where they are in the building."

Sophie's eyes grow and her mouth starts to open, some incredulous lecture about to fall out.

"Don't worry, they couldn't see me," Freya waves it off, "but they're up on the third floor now and have a lot of weapons, so either you call for backup from the rest of the Crows, or your strange vigilante ex, or you let me use magic on them..."

She trails off, making it clear which option she'd prefer. Sophie groans, but she visibly relaxes, her hands loosening on the gun.

A beat passes in silence and Freya just waits for her decision, watching her expression. There's the slightest twitch to her right eyebrow and she knows before Sophie even opens her mouth.

"Fine," she says, "but can you promise me that you won't kill any of them?"

"When have I ever killed anyone?" Freya asks, furrowing her eyebrows, and Sophie's shoot up with a scoff. "You can't count the vampires who tried to attack us back in New Orlenas, I've told you a million times that they don't count."

"Yes, I absolutely can and they do."

"They were going to kill us. And, I'm not even sure I actually did enough damage to kill them. They were probably just, you know, desiccated for a couple hours."

Sophie gives her that disbelieving, exasperated look. A muffled crash stops Freya from replying. It's followed by faint voices, shouting over each other a floor above.

"Alright, you use your magic on them, keep them distracted, I'll find a way around so I can find your sister, okay?" Sophie says, and Freya nods. "Though, knowing Rebekah, I have a feeling all that noise has something to do with her."

Freya grins. "There's a good chance."

She follows at the motion Sophie makes, leaving the hiding spot and crossing the empty room, avoiding the shells littering the floor. Something about the sight of all the empty cells with their rusty doors wide open makes her skin crawl. Asylums aren't really her favourite places to be considering, and Arkham certainly isn't the best of them all.

They quickly climb the stairs, light on their feet. When they reach the corner, Freya stops them from rounding it.

The shouting is much clearer now. Sure enough, she catches Rebekah's voice in the mix. Screaming, swearing. Threatening, of course, mostly to tear someone's head off with her teeth like a ripper and also to descale someone.

"Killer Croc?" Freya mouths. "I thought he was dead."

Sophie silently groans. "I guess Arkham wanted him alive for something. These idiots. God knows how many other inmates are running around in here."

"Unlucky for us to have gotten trapped in the middle of a riot-induced lockdown, huh?" Freya jokes.

Sophie cracks a grin. "More unlucky for them, I'd say."

Freya mirrors her grin. She throws a quick look around the corner to count.

"Seven inmates," she mutters to Sophie. "Five guns, one sword, and one... knife-cane thing? But she also looks like she might have a grenade on her so I'm not feeling too confident about her."

"Red hair? Really pale? Scars around her mouth?" Sophie asks urgently.

Freya checks again, then nods.

"That's Duela, Joker's kid. She'll definitely have something else on her. Probably explosive. Definitely lethal."

Freya draws back to look at her. Rebekah's still cursing everyone somewhere down the hall, her rather graphic threats bouncing off the walls. For the most part, she sounds unharmed and in little danger, but royally pissed.

"Alright, how do you wanna do this?" Sophie asks.

Thinking for a second, Freya's grin widens. "Remember our first anniversary?"

Sophie's face lights up in understanding, saying, "Of course. Werewolf pack. Hostage situation."

Freya raises her eyebrows, and Sophie nods.

"Let's do it."

The arguing rises up louder. With a wave of her hand, Freya mutters, "Invisique."